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PUBLISHER James Howard EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Ray Roa DIGITAL EDITOR Colin Wolf STAFF WRITER Justin Garcia FOOD and THEATER CRITIC Jon Palmer Claridge FILM & TV CRITIC John Allman JUSTIN GARCIA

IN-HOUSE WITCH Caroline DeBruhl CONTRIBUTORS Josh Bradley, Kyla Fields, Julie Garisto, Thomas Hallock, Alexandria Jones, Dan Savage

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PHOTOGRAPHERS Caesar Carbajal, Dave Decker

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EDITORIAL INTERNS Brandalynn Nuñez

García Vargas SeaWorld in Cepeda, February,Sofia animal rights Apply for summer via rroa@cltampa.com claiming the practice of keeping wild CREATIVE DIRECTOR Jack Spatafora d dangerous. But even though public atmany SeaWorld animal rights don’t in seeFebruary, a parallel kind ILLUSTRATORS Joebetween Newton,the Dan Perkins, claiming the practice of keeping wild k, and the practice ofCory displaying animals Robinson nd dangerous. But even though public asking for too much? Or is it time for a SENIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVES d, many don’t see a parallel between the kind t” animals?Anthony Carbone, Scott Zepeda

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ck and the practice of displaying animals s asking for too much? OrPROMOTIONS is it time for a AND MARKETING, ent” animals? EVENTS DIRECTOR

The manhole is the reason for the name turtle ditch. An iconic downtown Tampa skate spot is no more, p. 37.

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MARKETING, PROMOTIONS AND EVENTS COORDINATOR Lauren Caplinger Music Week ................................................... 42 EUCLID MEDIA GROUP Music: Tampa Fest ........................... Concert review:Bay ArticBlues Monkeys ..........................40 42 CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER Andrew Zelman Music ................................................... The ListWeek .......................................................... 46 CHIEF OPERATING OFFICERS42 Concert review: Artic Monkeys .......................... Chris Keating, Michael Wagner42 Movie reviews ..................................................... 63 VP OF DIGITAL SERVICES Stacy Volhein The List .......................................................... Free Will Astrology .........................................46 64 DIGITAL OPERATIONS COORDINATOR Movie ........................................................... reviews..................................................... 63 Puzzler 66 Jaime Monzon Music: Tampa Bay Blues Fest ........................... 40

Free Will Astrology......................................... 64 Savage Love ...................................................... 69

EDITORIAL POLICY — Creative Loafing Tampa is a publication covering public issues, the arts and entertainment. In our pages appear views from across the political and social spectrum. They do not necessarily represent the views of the publisher. Creative Loafing Tampa is published by Tampa Weekly, LLC, 204 E. Henderson Ave., Tampa, FL, 33602.

FOOD+DRINK �� 29 A&E �� 37 MUSIC �� 45 MUSIC WEEK �� 49 SAVAGE LOVE �� 53 CROSSWORD �� 55

The building could’ve been restored the same way several other historic structures had been.

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itors ors

FDOT razes Tampa Heights’ Lamar House, p. 15.

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Walk on

Black History Month starts now. By Alexandria Jones

his year’s Black History Month festivities start in Tampa on Feb. 4 with an inaugural reception titled “Embracing Our Cultural Kaleidoscope” featuring attorney, speaker, and author Ben Crump and civil rights activist and organizer Dr. Bernard LaFayette, Jr. A deserving recipient from the Tampa Bay-area will receive the first newly-created “Dr. Bernard LaFayette, Jr. Award for the Preservation of Black History and Heritage” the night of the reception. A Hillsborough County middle school will also receive a cash award for its Thurgood Marshall History Club to ensure the club gets ample opportunity to continue learning more Black history. Tampa Bay History Center’s Black History Month calendar is pretty diverse with various walks plus in-person and virtual events. A new “Central Avenue West” walking tour commences Feb. 6 at 3 p.m. with curator of Black History at the Tampa Bay History Center Fred Hearns as tour guide. He’ll take a small group of people on a walk in the area west of Central Avenue with stops at Oaklawn Cemetery, the “centerpiece of the walking tour” according to Hearns, St. Paul African Methodist Episcopal Church, and the Kid Mason Community Center. Get more information on these events at cltampa.com. See other things to do below. Strike a pose After two hectic years, are you feeling burnt out and blue? Is part of your “new year, new you” goal to be more balanced, to practice gratitude or to just quietly hang out in child’s pose in a bookstore?

If so, is there an event for you. Vanessa Autrey, author of “The Art of Balancing Burnout,” will be leading a restorative yoga session at Tombolo Books on Saturday, Feb. 5 at 9 a.m. After struggling with health issues due to burnout, Autrey immersed herself in her yoga practices and philosophy and was able to narrow down practices and philosophies that helped her find balance. “I was burnt-out, running on fumes—and yoga has helped bring me back to life,” Autrey said. She’ll lead the yoga session and sign books afterwards. Bring your own mat and towel. Balancing Burnout: Restorative Yoga with Vanessa Autrey. $5, 9 a.m. Tombolo Books, 2153 1st Ave S, St. Petersburg. tombolobooks.com—Caroline DeBruhl Uke got it Ukuleles are like certain makes and models of cars. Once you get one, you’re always noticing them everywhere. Over the weekend, almost everyone in Tampa Bay with a ukulele may be in Dunedin for World Ukulele Day Festival, which is taking over what feels like every square inch of the seaside town. It all starts at 10 a.m. in downtown with uke performers and lessons, then gets moving (literally) with a stroll & strum leaving Pioneer Park at 3 p.m. Nighttime activities include an after-hours jam and open mic, but several venues—from the Fenway Hotel to Nature’s Food Patch, Dunedin Brewery, the history museum and more—will all host ukulele bands from noon-4 p.m. World Ukulele Day Festival. Saturday, Feb. 5, 10 a.m.-11 p.m. Various venues, Dunedin. naturesfoodpatch. com—Ray Roa

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ot even Tom Brady could ruin the party on Saturday, as hundreds of thousands of people descended upon Tampa’s Bayshore Boulevard and downtown for the first Gasparilla parade of the pandemic era. And it might have been one of the coldest Gasparilla’s on record, but Creative Loafing Tampa Bay photographer said, “People were treating each other nicely today.” Even Tampa police only arrested five people, with the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission only issuing boaters five BUIs. The only missing child was reunited with their family, too. “People seemed happy. The sun was shining. People were smiling. Simple stuff,” Decker added. Head to cltampa.com/slideshows to see more of the guyliner and party people we saw.—Ray Roa

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“As the city grew, its White leaders passed laws to keep a Black workforce close at hand but out of sight.” POLITICS

ISSUES

OPINION

Walking a red line

An on the ground review of St. Petersburg’s structural racism study. By Thomas Hallock

ulie and I park on 22nd Street, the Deuces, by the old train depot just off the Pinellas Trail. We look for evidence of Sixth Avenue South. The street has disappeared, but not the history. We trace the former roadway under the present-day Job Corps. In 1935, St. Petersburg’s City Council proposed a boundary here, ruling where Black and white people could live. A scholar of Civil Rights literature, Julie joins me for this walk into a segregation map. We head east, down Fifth Avenue (one block north of the original line), and work our way through the gentrifying warehouse district. It is one of those obscenely crisp, temperate afternoons. A perfect January day in Florida. The smell of fresh bread fills the industrial, increasingly artsy neighborhood. Old warehouses now supply artisan alcohol. Where I-175 merges with I-275, just south of the old Oaklawn Cemetery, the sidewalk ends. We all know the story. (If you do not, you should.) African Americans came to St. Petersburg in the late-19th century to work the Orange Belt Railroad. As the city grew, its White leaders passed laws to keep a Black workforce close at hand but out of sight. A 1935 map, printed in the St. Petersburg Times and following national trends, proposed a Black ghetto. Insurance companies later shaded such areas in red, marking them as financial risks and making it harder to get mortgages; this led to the term redlining. The 1935 map set the railroad tracks as the northern border; ran south down 17th Street.; along 15th Avenue S; then north up 34th, and back to the railroad tracks (today the Pinellas Trail). At the Oaklawn site, now Lot 1 for Tropicana Field, Julie and I contemplate our next turn. The boundary on our map, down 17th, follows a street that was razed for the interstate. So we thread along the east side of John Hopkins Elementary School. The stub of a street corner helps us see where the line would have met the present-day embankment on 175, then crossed a baseball field in the J-Hop playground, most likely running across a bicycle rack. These walks into our past are necessary, as the dialog continues over how the city’s history informs present-day inequity. I stumbled onto the 1935 map when reviewing a recent report from a team of USF professors and community historian-activists, “Building Bridges & Supporting

Racial Equality in St. Petersburg Florida.” This 200-page study traces a trajectory of structural racism from 1886 to the present day. The report is not an easy read, the team worked under a tight six-month deadline, but they synthesized an overwhelming body of data to support several, long-overdue resolutions. (See sidebar.) A “sweeping range of policies and actions, known as structural racism,” the executive summary explains, has led to “continued mar-

expectancy in Campbell Park (a mostly Black part of town) is 66.5 years, while the average for (white) Vinoy Park and Snell Island is 82. The study establishes beyond the pale of any doubt how racial inequality shapes every aspect of city life: education, physical health, emotional well-being, economic security, the list goes on. The authors close with concrete recommendations to “heal the wound.” Walking east along 15th Avenue S, Julie and I follow the 1935 map’s southern edge. We pause at a corner market to chat with a sidewalk politician. I show him the map. “That’s some shit,” he says with a laugh; “that’s fucked up.”

LOCAL NEWS

86 YEARS: In 1935, St. Pete City Council proposed a boundary ruling where Black and white people could live. ginalization of Black citizens in St. Petersburg.” While white residents have enjoyed advantage after advantage, the study shows, African Americans have witnessed segregation and Klan rallies, economic exclusion and disastrous “urban renewal,” inequity at every level. The report (which could have used a good copyedit) bristles with statistics, anecdotes, and unsettling facts. Black men, arrested for dubious charges of “vagrancy” and “loafing,” provided free labor to build seawalls and other “public” works. The median annual income today for African Americans in Pinellas County is $27,000; for white people, just above $37K. Life

places of death of persecuted Jews. The polished brass bricks stud the sidewalks. In Berlin, a twin row of cobblestones marks the former wall. The city was divided after World War II, and when East Germany could not keep residents in, the communist government built a thirteen-foot concrete barrier, with towers and a “death strip,” where guards shot to kill. The wall came down in 1989, and today, the cobblestone monument threads through the streetscape like a visible scar. Berliners now go about their daily lives around the former wall. People rake leaves over the cobblestones. They double park, walk their dogs, and check their cell phones upon a properly memorialized past. It helps to see how other cultures own up to hard history. What if St. Petersburg constructed a similar, in-street memorial? Why not a line of red bricks to mark the boundaries of a once-segregated city? Such a marker would not be for the city’s AfricanAmerican residents. Black people did not write that city code. But white residents, and city council members, can all too easily choose to forget. And this disavowal (let’s be honest) keeps one from accounting for the present. At 15th Avenue S, the interstate again blocks our path. Julie and I head north up 31st to complete our circuit. We follow the denuded underpass and cross behind the baseball field of Gibbs High School—another monument from segregation days, now an arts magnet school. As we edge towards the Pinellas Trail, the industrial landscape gives way to gentrification. More artisan alcohol, native plant gardens, Shine murals, and hipster beards. Tracing a boundary of segregation, we follow the old tracks (now a rails-to-trails path) towards downtown. A quick jog north takes us to the old station and we close our loop at the Deuces. The walk has earned us a round of beers, so we drop into 3 Daughters, where the change in demographic jars. Though set in the historic heart of St. Petersburg’s Black downtown, the clientele is, of course, white; I crack a bad joke that the only black face is on a Labrador retriever. Day drinking does not lend itself to historical memory. How much healthier would our city be, I wonder, if we visibly marked invisible lines? What if tires along the Interstate rumbled, for just a second, when crossing a red-brick continued on page 14

The six-month structural racism study was presented last December to St. Petersburg City Council, which voted 5-3 to adopt its recommendations. Council members Robert Blackman, Ed Montanari, and Gina Driscoll (whose district overlaps with much of the 1935 map) did not accept the findings. We can judge a city by how it handles its past. This past Fall, I spent some time in Germany. Rather than hiding their hate crimes, the German people have done something remarkable—they place monuments. To acknowledge the Holocaust, brass stolpersteine (or “stubble stones”) identifies the names, dates and (often)

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | 13

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NO TRESPASSING: Along the Pinellas Trail, one of many blocked off spaces and signs. continued from page 13 boundary of former segregation? Why not a line down the Pinellas Trail? For a city of transplants, a city that continues to celebrate its coolness and growth, some

recognition would help us all. Our collective memory must be marked. Otherwise, as the recent study shows, we find no escape. Our future remains but a loop to the same tired, inequitable past.

FURNITURE | MEN’S • WOMEN’S • KID’S CLOTHES | KNICK KNACKS | HOUSEWARE | ELECTRONICS & EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN “Building Bridges & Supporting Structural Equity in St. Petersburg, Florida” was commissioned by the city of St. Petersburg and authored by Ruthmae Sears, Gypsy Gallarrdo, Gwendolyn D. Reese, Tim Dutton, Han Reichgelt, James McHale, Fenda Akiwumi, Jabaar Edmond, Michelle Bradham-Cousa, Jalessa Blackshear, and Dana Thompson-Dorsey. City Council approved the six-month study in December 2021 and voted in support of the study’s “immediate action steps.”

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From the Executive Summary • A “history of pre-meditated and targeted policies and coordinated administrative actions” has “impaired Black individuals and families throughout the past 125 years,” leading to “major wealth and health disparities that continue to the current day.” • A “sweeping range of policies and actions,” defined as “structural racism,” perpetuates “the continued marginalization of Black citizens in St. Petersburg.” • Race-based economic hierarchies trace back to the 1890s; violence continued with an active Ku Klux Klan presence, lynching, exploitation of convict labor, and segregation written into the city charter. • Non-Hispanic Black residents of St. Petersburg today earn 73% of White residents. • Only 22% of St. Petersburg residents are Black, but a disproportionate 74% of all “resisting arrest with violence” charges are made against Black citizens.

• Infant mortality rates among AfricanAmericans range 2 to 5 times that of White infants. • “Informed understanding of how structural racism has created, and systematically ensures continuation of, disparities in wealth, housing, education, financial security, physical and psychological safety, health, and mortality in St. Petersburg is the most consequential first step toward the comprehensive, measured, and deliberate policy decisions that can accelerate progress toward the promotion of equity.” “Action Steps,” approved by St. Petersburg’s City Council • “Create an equity department within the Office of the Mayor,” with the Director to “serve as a liaison between the community and the budget committee.” • “Create and implement an effective accountability strategy that includes a commitment to a race equity review” of all existing and future “City policies and practices.” • “Create a permanent resident race equity commission [to] ensure progress towards equity is made” and becomes “a permanent way of conducting business in the city.” • “Examine and initiate action steps to reparations to address disparities that have been made visible by this report,” including restitution for “affordable housing, reforms in the criminal-legal system, free health services or tertiary education.” • “Continue support for the work started in the study.”

JUSTIN GARCIA

PRESERVATION WOULD’VE BEEN PROGRESS: The remains of the Tampa’s Historic Lamar House.

Rubble rouser

FDOT gets its way, demolishes historic Tampa Heights building. By Justin Garcia

ick Fernandez stood heartbroken while staring at what’s left of Tampa Heights’ Historic Lamar House, which was demolished Monday by the Florida Department of Transportation (FDOT). Fernandez and several community groups had fought to preserve the building for more than six years. But within a matter of two hours today, construction crews turned the historic structure located at 1902 N Lamar Ave. into a rubbish heap. A tractor sat on top of the building, digging into the remains as Fernandez told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that he was feeling a wave of emotions watching it be destroyed. “This building represents a piece of Tampa Heights history to which I am personally connected,” Fernandez said. “It was built in 1925. I was born in 1955. No more than a mile from where we’re standing right now.” FDOT purchased the property in 2015 and announced in November that the Lamar House would be destroyed if an investor didn’t take over the property within 60 days. Despite offers from the Tampa Heights Junior Civic Association (THJCA) to take over the lease and restore the house, FDOT chose destruction, Fernandez and advocates for the Lamar House say. After seeing the demolition crew on site in November, a coalition of community leaders and organizations came together to investigate FDOT’s intentions with the building. In a press release, the group insisted that the building did not need to be demolished. THCA and Sunshine Citizens, a group that opposes I-275 expansion in Tampa, had helped lead the charge to preserve the site. Architectural Associate and

Public Policy Advisor for Sunshine Citizens, Matthew Suarez, performed a site visit of the Historic Lamar on January 21. After the visit he wrote in an email to FDOT personnel that, “At first glance, most of the building deficiencies observed could have been prevented by the FDOT-D7 simply following the guidance provided by the National Park Service’s ‘Mothballing Historic Buildings’ preservation article.” In the same email he also identified that “the FDOT-D7 could have followed the guidance provided by NPS’s ‘Roofing for Historic Buildings.’” The groups also insisted that the building could be restored the same way several other historic structures had been, from the Jackson House, to the Sanchez Y Haya building which was recently described as “decrepit.” They also said that although the FDOT is working on a project nearby to expand the downtown interchange, the demolition of this building is not required for that project. THJCA had several possible visions for the Lamar building before it was destroyed, including using it for an art space, more youth programming, affordable housing and more. Kris Carson, District 7 Communications Manager said FDOT demolished the structure due to unsafe conditions, multiple police calls and the building’s deteriorated conditions. “We understand some members of the community wanted to salvage this building, however the building conditions were such that FDOT has planned to demolish the structure since 2017,” Carson wrote in an email. Read the expanded version of this story at cltampa.com/news.

LOCAL NEWS

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Old wounds

TPD chief finalist was once charged with battery on an officer.

ne of Tampa Mayor Jane Castor’s three finalists for police chief was once charged with battery on a Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office Deputy, along with obstruction and disorderly intoxication during a raucous DUI arrest. A Tampa Bay Times article details the scene that unfolded when TPD officer Mary E. Minter was pulled over by HCSO in 1995. She was in the passenger seat when HCSO pulled over fellow TPD officer Keith Michael O’Connor. Minter was dating O’Connor at the time, married him in 1997, and adopted his last name. Mary O’Connor was named last week as a finalist in the search for Tampa’s next police chief. “Two off-duty Tampa police officers were arrested Friday after sheriff’s deputies said one drove drunk and the other became belligerent and punched a deputy,” The Times wrote. “A Hillsborough deputy patrolling north Tampa about 4 a.m. Friday said he first saw the black Isuzu Rodeo bounce off a median on Bearss Avenue.” The officer followed the Isuzu to Nebraska Avenue, and the deputy said he saw the driver of the weaving car hit two more medians. “At the wheel, authorities said, was one of their own: Tampa police Officer Keith Michael O’Connor. Beside him sat Mary E. Minter, a highly regarded police officer,” the story said. Michael O’Connor, who was 28 at the time, was charged with drunk driving. But after he was pulled over, deputies said, Mary O’Connor, who was 24, was also drunk and “refused to cooperate.” When she was put in the back seat of a patrol car, deputies said that she kicked the windows and punched a deputy in the chest and shoulder when he tried to calm her down. Six deputies ended up responding to the scene and Mary was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer, obstruction and disorderly intoxication. Mary had just finished her first year at TPD and Keith was still in his probationary period on the force, the Times reported. The Tampa Tribune reported that they were both fired for the incident, but then were rehired in 1996 on “last chance” status. The two were released on bail and initially suspended from the force. At the time, TPD said that an internal investigation was launched. CL

has not yet obtained files related to the investigation. But a glowing Times feature story about Mary’s retirement in 2016—which went through her entire history at TPD but somehow didn’t mention the assault—and a TPD Facebook post about her husband’s retirement in 2019, show that both officers not only remained on the force, they climbed the ranks. At the time of her retirement, Mary O’Connor was Assistant Police Chief and Keith O’Connor was Deputy Chief at TPD. Mary did not respond to phone calls request for comment about the arrest. CL also reached out to the Mayor’s administration with questions, including whether or not Mayor Castor was aware of the arrest as she made her selections. The city’s communications director Adam Smith said that the mayor was aware of it when she selected O’Connor. Since the arrest in 1995, Mary O’Connor has since won many accolades in the law enforcement world. According to a City of Tampa press release, she helped police departments develop strategic plans for reducing crime by focusing on community engagement, and evidence-based policing. She is a senior faculty member of the FBI’s premier leadership training program that helps develop police officers into well-rounded leaders who understand the importance of diversity, collaboration, social equity, and trust-building. Mary also created an after-school program in a disadvantaged neighborhood. Mary was also instrumental in the development of breakthrough technology that improved officer and community safety. “Her years of training have elevated Mary’s breadth of knowledge and experience. She is ready to bring innovative ideas back to Tampa where she discovered that law enforcement was her calling,” the release read. Mary O’Connor was asked questions by the Mayor’s Youth Corps during last night’s community forum at HCC Ybor. Beside her was another Tampa police chief finalist, Cherise Giordani Gause, who is currently assistant police chief at the Miami Police Department. Interim TPD Chief Ruben Delgado, another candidate for chief, was absent due to the death of his father. A recurring theme throughout the forum

LOCAL NEWS

“Six deputies ended up responding to the scene and Mary was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer, obstruction and disorderly intoxication.”

CITY OF TAMPA

By Justin Garcia

TAMPA’S NEXT POLICE CHIEF? Mary O’Connor, TPD Former Assistant Chief of Operations. was police transparency, accountability and communication with the community. In conversation with CL after the forum, O’Connor told CL that some of her greatest achievements while at TPD before retiring were, “the connections and the positive impacts that I made.” The mayor’s administration has not provided information on how many candidates were considered or interviewed, and has told CL that Castor used her expertise in law enforcement in order to choose the candidates. "While she said there would be a national search, I don't believe it was intended to be a public solicitation for the position," Smith told CL in December. "Her connections to law enforcement allow her to look around the country without opening up the floodgates." At the time, Smith told CL he does not know if Castor had even called anyone about the job. He also didn't know if there was documentation, but said that anything related to the search, if available, should be included within CL's public records request. Meanwhile, Interim Police Chief Delgado— who officially stepped into the role in September when Dugan officially retired on Sept. 10—has been supported by Castor. Because the city has not provided any public

records, taxpayers don't know details about Castor's with candiates about being Tampa's next police chief. Chuck Wexler, executive director of the Police Executive Research Forum, a Washington D.C. based consultant group, told CL that the hiring process for police chief candidates is different for every city, adding that, "Some police departments look at their internal resources, some expand to a national search." Wexler's firm was hired by former Mayor Bob Buckhorn during his public national search for a new police chief in 2017. After looking at 60 candidates and narrowing them down to a handful, Buckhorn ultimately decided to promote Dugan from within, citing his efforts during Hurricane Irma and the search for the Seminole Heights serial killer, which ultimately ended when a McDonald's worker turned him in. Wexler confirmed that his firm had not been hired by Castor for the current search, and added echoed Smith's sentiment about how Castor's deep history in law enforcement might help her choose a qualified candidate. Castor first joined TPD in 1984, advancing to assistant chief in 2005 before serving as chief from 2009-2015. Wexler added, "Sometimes a city will prolong the search and see how things evolve in the police department."

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | 17

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On the spot

Amid criticism, TPD quietly restores public neighborhood crime data. By Justin Garcia

he Tampa Police Department (TPD) restored its block level crime reporting on Jan. 25, days after a CL report shed light on how the agency switched to a less accurate type of grid level crime reporting the week prior. The grid reporting didn’t specifically show where the crime or police call for service actually occurred, but instead pinned the call or crime in an area encompassing several city blocks. Block reporting shows the block or intersection where a crime occurred, without identifying the exact address. TPD had originally cited Marsy’s Law, passed in Florida in 2018, as the reason for the change from block to grid reporting. TPD said that the move was made to protect victim’s rights. CL’s initial report pointed out that Marsy’s Law did not support TPD’s reasoning. Crimetracking groups also highlighted the public safety risks of vague crime reporting. Roughly a week after switching to grid reporting, TPD’s public “calls for service” website again showed block level reporting of crimes on its map.Marsy’s Law for Florida, the group that

pushed to bring the bill into law, said that the law does not support changing crime reporting in 2019, yet several law enforcement agencies across the state, including TPD, have chosen to interpret the law in their own ways. “There are no provisions in Marsy’s Law for Florida that prevent the release of details of a case, including general information on where crimes have taken place,” Marsy’s Law for Florida wrote in the press release. SpotCrime, a national crime tracking company, pointed out TPD’s crime reporting change to CL, and said that the concealment of crime locations only harms public safety, such as in the case of tracking child predators and other violent criminals. “We’re happy to see TPD embracing transparency and fostering accountability and trust with the public,” SpotCrime Vice President Brittany Suszan wrote in a email to CL. “TPD has rightfully determined that the poorly written Marsy’s Law does not intend for blanket exemptions of police data. We hope other agencies who have applied this blanket exemption

LOCAL NEWS

- Lake Co SO, Polk County SO, and Pasco County SO - take notes.” CD Davidson-Hiers, Programs Coordinator for the Florida Center for Government Accountability, a non-partisan 501c3 that seeks transparency in government, said the group is seeing an “alarming lack of uniformity throughout Florida” in how law enforcement agencies are reporting crimes. Davidson-Hiers said that the unintended effect is that communities get left with no way of knowing where crimes are being committed, or who may be affected. Colin Drane, president of SpotCrime, said that while the change is welcome, he’s still concerned about how Marsy’s law is being misused to hide criminal activity. “I drafted a letter to the [city] council I’m glad Tampa got the data back online in such a relatively short period,” Drane wrote. “I would definitely like some clarity on the impetus. Was it a specific event? And still want to know why a vendor who threatens the public with restrictive terms on sharing is marked as public data. Public data should be allowed to be shared freely without restrictions.”

TPD had previously told CL that there was an issue with the map that was being worked on. “We were working with the program developer to fix a technical issue discovered on the site last week, to enhance the protections for Marsy’s Law victims,” TPD wrote to CL in an email statement last week. “The interactive Crime Map has since been restored.” TPD then confirmed that the data was changed to be presented at the grid level, as opposed to the block level. The public calls for service website reflected this change before the feed was changed back to block reporting. CL sent several follow-up questions to TPD but has yet to receive a response. In Drane’s drafted letter to Tampa City Council—which he intended to send before TPD adjusted its reporting—he highlighted the dangers of concealing data from the public. “Hiding crime data and making it harder to publish and share, harms the public by making them less informed,” Drane wrote. “Additionally, there is no data that victims benefit from this approach. Because criminals can operate in the darkness, it is likely more victims are created by removing crime data transparency.”

“TPD has rightfully determined that the poorly written Marsy’s Law does not intend for blanket exemptions of police data.”

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BENDING THE LAW: A group that pushed through Marsy’s Law, said that the legislation does not support changing crime reporting.

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | 19

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Millions dollar question

Did Tampa violate state law when it handed a construction company over $100 million to build a new city center? By Justin Garcia no valid public emergency was declared, yet the city moved forward with the expanded Hanna Avenue project without acknowledging this aspect of the law. Following the public announcement and MBAA procedures, what’s supposed to follow is the process of “competitive selection.” Competitive selection says that for each proposed project, the city must evaluate current statements of qualifications and performance data of construction firms on file with the agency, together with those that may be submitted by other firms regarding the proposed project. The city is supposed to have discussions with the firms, and may require public presentations

LOCAL NEWS

called a “book” of files that were later uploaded to the city’s website. She asked several questions about the Hanna Avenue project at the Jan. 13 meeting. “...Where’s the required design criteria package for it? Why was it not sent to the public for bid solicitation? Why was there no involvement with NAACP, the CDC or Urban League?,” Neff asked council. Neff, a consultant in facilities and engineering, building maintenance, policy and regulation, said there are a lot of problems with the project as it stands. “These are only a few of the red flags that are highlighted in this book and I encourage you to read through them read through your database and be transparent with

referred to the original $6 million project, not the extra $102 million for the new City Center approved last year. But the documents presented to council on Jan. 13 explicitly point out that the small project—which involved three city departments—is now a “$102M co-mingled project awarded by convenience to the same firm without solicitation to the public.” Now, the project is slated for 11 departments and hundreds of city employees. The city did not have an answer to this point made in the documents, and Baird told CL that the Castor administration would be, “addressing these claims when we return to City Council on March 3.” At the same council meeting, several leaders

GOOGLE MAPS

he City of Tampa may have violated Florida State Law when it handed a construction company over $100 million to build its new “City Center at Hanna Ave” project, experts say. The massive project is set for construction on an 11-acre lot, which is currently a vacant factory and warehouse at 2515 E Hanna Ave. in Seminole Heights East. It’s supposed to host hundreds of City of Tampa workers once it is constructed. At a city council meeting on Jan. 13, community leaders and construction experts raised serious concerns surrounding the project, including what they said was a violation of state law and the Black community being left out of the project. Multiple speakers claimed the city may have violated multiple Florida Statutes when it gave DPR Construction the design-build contract to complete the project. DPR was first hired by the city in 2015 for a much smaller project costing roughly $6.2 million. Last year, the city awarded an extra $102 million to DPR to construct the much larger City Center project. That brings the total price tag of the project to more than $108 million. The project was approved in November of last year. The Tampa Bay Times reported that city council was “persuaded by Mayor Jane Castor’s administration” that the cost was worth it, voting unanimously to approve it. At the Jan. 13 meeting, speakers shared documents with council which they said supported their claims that the dealings with DPR were unjust. After hearing the speakers’ concerns, Councilchair Orlando Gudes moved for council to hear more about the project on March 3, after city staff and attorneys review the issues. City officials have refuted the speakers’ claims, saying the city followed the law when hiring DPR. Within the documents sent to council, Florida Statute 287.055 is highlighted. The statute points out that any large construction within a municipality must go through a transparent process that includes qualification procedures, along with competitive selection of contractors. The law says that Florida cities are required to publicly announce, in a uniform and consistent manner, each time a professional service must be purchased for a large construction project. “The public notice must include a general description of the project and must indicate how interested consultants may apply for consideration,” the law reads. The statute says that this process is always required, “except in cases of valid public emergencies certified by the agency head.” In Tampa,

LONG GONE: Since demolished warehouse at the future Hanna City Center. by, “no fewer than three firms regarding their qualifications, approach to the project, and ability to furnish the required services.” There is currently no evidence that the competitive selection process took place when the City of Tampa decided to expand the Hannah Avenue project and retain DPR. Natalie Neff, an expert in building construction who has worked as project developer for AMJR, a local construction services company, did her own research on the project and presented her findings to city council, in what she

the public,” Neff said. CL reached out to the City of Tampa to get input about the City Center process. Tampa’s Deputy Administrator of Infrastructure Brad Baird said that in accordance with the law, the city followed the Consultants’ Competitive Negotiations Act (CCNA) for the selection of the DPR team. In an email, he attached rankings by the technical reviewers and the minutes from the CCNA Selection Committee with then Mayor Bob Buckhorn’s approval in 2015. But that paperwork

from the Black community voiced additional concerns, which included acknowledging a lack of diversity and inclusion surrounding the project. Ernest Coney, CEO of the Corporation to Develop Communities of Tampa, said that the project lacks representation from the surrounding community of East Tampa because the city made decisions without proper transparency and input. “I stand before you somewhat dumbfounded today and upset,” Coney said to council. continued on page 22

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BLANK STARE: The city has yet to actually answer questions about the contract for Hanna City Center. continued from page 21 “Here we go again, where we have projects coming to East Tampa, and there’s no community representation.” “We wonder why we have high unemployment rate, high poverty rates when we have the city acting as a developer on this project, and did not even consider talking with one of the agencies that has done the most work around workforce and housing and in this district in this area,” he continued. Yvette Lewis of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) Hillsborough County branch said she was perplexed by the city’s decision making. “I come to you because I don’t understand this Hanna Avenue Project. I don’t understand how a city this size did not have any community input,” Lewis said. “I don’t understand a Hanna Avenue Project going from a renovation to a complete new building without reissuing another request for quotation (RFQ).” James Ransom represents the Tampa Organization of Black Affairs, where he sits as Chair of Economic Development. He told council that he spoke with Mayor Jane Castor about the issue, and echoed Lewis and Coney’s concerns. He said that the Hannah Avenue plan as it stands now “does not include diversity inclusion.” “Is it reasonable for us to be treated fairly? To have a fair opportunity?” He asked council.

“We think it is and we know that you know that it is. And we appreciate you doing it in the past when you’ve stopped some contracts that did not show that the participation was there.” “We’re simply asking that you don’t do anything to approve contracts that don’t intentionally include us in an opportunity to be able to participate,” Ransom continued. Stanley Gray of the Urban League of Tampa asked council if this is what the community should be used to and asked, “Is there something in place that will prevent this kind of action in the future?” Baird told CL that the city follows the Equal Business Opportunity Act (EBOA) in regards to women and minority owned businesses, which falls under the city’s codes of ordinances, 26.5. He sent along a document showing “goal set calculations” to meet the EBOA requirements for the Hanna Ave. project, which the city offered as evidence that the project aims to meet the requirements of the ordinance. After the input, Orlando Gudes made a motion to have city staff, especially the city’s attorneys, discuss the issues with the concerned parties and report back to council on March 3. “In light of documents that have been received from the community, we ask that staff review the documents and come back with a report in-person in reference to the information that has been given,” Gudes said.

LOCAL NEWS

“Here we go again, where we have projects coming to East Tampa, and there’s no community representation.”

22 | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | cltampa.com

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Good guys don’t ban books Of course, you only know that if you read books. By Jeffrey C. Billman

Inventors and Inventions (?),” a 1968 medical thriller from Michael Crichton, and, most ironically, Nancy Garden’s 1999 novel “The Year They Banned the Books.” One book on Krause’s gargantuan list caught my eye, both because I’ve been reading it and because, since Krause wants to become Ft. Worth’s top prosecutor, he probably should: Michelle Alexander’s “The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness.” Alexander’s 2010 book, a seminal work in the field of criminal justice reform, doesn’t employ language that would send granny to the fainting couch. It makes a nuanced, provocative case that by targeting Black men through the drug war and tough-on-crime legislation, the justice system created a caste system to replace Jim Crow segregation under the guise of race-neutrality. You don’t have to agree with Alexander. But if you’re afraid of kids engaging with her argument, that says more about your beliefs than hers.

INFORMED DISSENT

It follows the mold of Texas’ abortion law, giving parents—not the state—the right to enforce it by suing if a teacher mentions the 2016 Pulse massacre in Orlando or, perhaps, asks who America’s only “confirmed bachelor” president was. (Answer: James Buchanan, who was in a relationship with Alabama senator, ambassador to France, and vice president William Rufus King.) As if Florida—like Oklahoma and Texas— haven’t made life miserable enough for public school teachers. But that’s the point, isn’t it? The right is bullying teachers into avoiding anything that might make kids question the world around them. Donald Trump loves the poorly educated. His acolytes want schools to pump them out like factories. It won’t work, not how they imagine. And if you want to keep them from hearing about racism, or birth control, or why they’re getting hair down there, or why some boys like boys, you’re going to have to find some way to undo the internet. (Don’t think they haven’t broken your parental controls.) Besides, banning books will only make teenagers seek out the forbidden. And the more we talk about banning books, the more likely they are to read about the history of book banning— and realize that history never views the people who do it as the good guys.

GAGE SKIDMORE

he logical end of the panic over cancel culture and critical race theory was always staring us in the face: to stop the left-wing oppression of school indoctrination, leftist ideas—in other words, any idea that doesn’t reinforce white conservative mythology—must be removed in the name of freedom. That’s not how the culture warriors frame it, of course. They portray themselves as shielding young eyes from obscenity and pornography and protecting children from racial shaming. Take a look at what they’re actually doing, however, and that veneer crumbles pretty quickly. A school board in Tennessee removed the Pulitzer Prize-winning graphic novel “Maus,” which recounts author Art Spiegelman’s parents’ experience during the Holocaust, due to “its unnecessary use of profanity and nudity and its depiction of violence and suicide,” because only sanitized versions of genocide will do. The superintendent of a North Carolina school district banned the MLK-themed novel “Dear Martin”—which the superintendent admitted he never read—after a 10th-grader’s parent complained that the book contained the “f-word” and “sexual innuendos.” A Florida school district removed 16 books from school libraries after a conservative group complained that they were pornographic: among them, “The Bluest Eye” by Toni Morrison, “The Kite Runner” by Khaled Hosseini, and just about anything that touches on LGBTQ experiences. National campaigns have targeted books such as “All Boys Aren’t Blue,” “Lawn Boy,” “Gender Queer,” “A People’s History of the United States,” even “The Handmaid’s Tale”—sometimes picking titles from lists that promote diverse reading material, other times attacking books that might turn little Johnny Football Star queer. No one has been more aggressive than Texas state representative Matt Krause, who is running to become the district attorney of Tarrant County. Last October, he sent a letter to the Texas Education Agency asking if any schools in the state had any of the 850 books he included in an attached spreadsheet. As you might imagine, plenty of LGBTQ stuff made his book-burning list. But so did books about gender equality, the legal rights of teenagers, books about sexually transmitted infections (and books, even novels, that mention teen pregnancy), a 30-year-old book on the abortion debate, books addressing racism, the graphic novel version of “The Lottery, Life, Death, and Sacrifice: Women and Family in the Holocaust,” “Underneath: A History of Women’s Underwear,” “W Is for Welcome: A Celebration of America’s Diversity (seriously!),

Such “populist” movements need to perpetually one-up themselves, so they can’t confine themselves to inserting themselves between teenagers and “dangerous” literature. Thus, in Oklahoma, a forthcoming Senate bill aims to prohibit K-12 schools from employing any teacher who “promotes positions in the classroom or at any function of the public school that is in opposition to closely held religious beliefs of students.” Parents are allowed to sue individual teachers and administrators, and damages are set at a minimum of $10,000. Because that’s not sufficiently mean-spirited: “All persons found liable for damages shall make payment from personal resources and shall not receive any assistance from individuals or groups.” And then there’s Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, who is pushing legislation that prohibits public schools and private workplaces from making white people feel “discomfort.” Practically speaking, it gives racists license to sue schools because their kid’s class read “I Am Ruby Bridges” and employers because they had to sit through diversity training. DeSantis has also whipped up a throwback to the ’90s: a bill to ban any mention of sexual orientation or gender identity in schools. Which is to say, to cancel gay people.

24 | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | cltampa.com

THROWBACK: DeSantis has also whipped up a bill to ban any mention of sexual orientation or gender identity in schools.

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ESPN’s Adam Schefter had every pirate at Gasparilla spitting out their avocado tequila when he broke the news that Tom Brady would not return to the Bucs. Honestly, Schefter should not be allowed in Tampa after ruining our city holiday.

Florida Gov. DeSantis’ Press Secretary suggests an Orlando Nazi rally may have been staged. “Do we even known they’re Nazis?” Christina Pushaw tweeted. Imagine twisting your brain into pretzels to try and keep the Nazi vote. Vote them all out, people.

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Finishing what the Schefter started, Tom Brady makes it official and retires from the NFL. His very sweet farewell note shouts out Tampa-St. Petersburg and the Bucs, but doesn’t even mention New England. Take that snowbirds. A day after demolishing Tampa Heights’ historic Lamar House, FDOT starts pile driving in the neighborhood, leaving people’s ears ringing and cupboards rattling. They had to turn the music up even louder and King State, leaving half the hipsters in the neighborhood with temporary tinnitus. Shit, but without Tom Brady in our lives, via cltampa.com/news.

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The Bucs aren’t in it, but that shouldn’t stop you from pigging out for the Super Bowl.

his year’s Super Bowl—set for Feb. 13 at 6:30 p.m.—doesn’t include our beloved Bucs, but football fans and tolerators can still get in on game day fun with parties at local spots across Tampa Bay. All events on Super Bowl Sunday unless otherwise noted. Head to cltampa.com/food to see the most updated version of this listing. American Social Complete with all the game day essentials: buckets of Bud Light, Bud Light Seltzer, or Truly to-go packages for pickup. Guests can also choose faves like the AmSo burger, wings, hand-crafted cocktails, house wine, and draft beers. 5 p.m. 601 S Harbour Island Blvd. Unit 107, Tampa, 813-605-3333 americansocial.com Bru FL Growler Bar Prove your chili is better in the inaugural BRU Chili Cookoff event that’s part of this Super Bowl Extravaganza Weekend. Email wearebru2@gmail.com by Feb. 9 to participate. Vote for the best chili with your money; cash votes will be donated to Feeding Tampa Bay. Winner gets a $50 BRU gift certificate and bragging rights. Saturday, Feb. 12 at 2 p.m. 2653 Bruce B. Downs Blvd., Wesley Chapel, 813-345-8594. @bruFLwesleychapel on Facebook Club 1828 Live music, hookah plus all-youcan-eat food and drinks until halftime. Presale tickets can be purchased at Blue Flame located at 1524 E Fowler Ave. For sections and/or bottle service, call 239-961-1766. $25. 5:30 p.m.-midnight. 5110 N 40th St., Tampa, 813-310-3953. eventbrite.com Corner Club Visit the Old Seminole Heights bar and restaurant for special food and drink specials the day of the big game. 6 p.m.-10:30 p.m. 1502 E Sligh Ave., Tampa, 813-232-1482. @cornerclubtampa on Facebook Duffys Sports Grill Available until Feb. 12, guests can reserve seats for the in-person Game Day Experience or choose a tailgate party package for at-home festivities. Order your packages online and pick them up up Feb. 13 between 11 a.m.-5 p.m. 5:30 p.m.-11 p.m. $25/seat for experience, $11.99-$175 for packages. 1580 N Dale Mabry Hwy., Tampa, 813-875-7340. duffysmvp. com

Dunn’s River Island Watch on the XL video wall at this east Tampa staple, and enjoy live music, hookah, food, and drink specials. No cover, $30-$50 for tables. 5 p.m.-10 p.m. 11154 N 30th St., Tampa, 813-374-2093. eventbrite.com Fuzzy’s Taco Shop Score big with a taco family meals or catering for larger groups. $35-$50 for family meals. Various locations. fuzzystacoshop.com Localz Sports Bar & Grill Purchase a table to get a buffet and open bar ticket. Buffet includes sliders, mac & cheese, potato salad and more. Bar includes bottle beers, draft beers, seltzers, and more. 6 p.m. $75-600. 14219 Walsingham Rd. Unit F, Largo, 727-221-0002. eventbrite.com Mastry’s Brewing Game time action with all the brews and delish eats (shoutout Mastry’s Kitchen!) on St. Pete Beach. Noon. 7701 Blind Pass Rd., St. Pete Beach, 727-202-8045. @mastrysbrewingco on Facebook MC Cigar Shop & Lounge Join in on a chili cookoff before game time. Micallef Cigars will be on site, too. 2 p.m. 3331 Lithia Pinecrest Rd., Valrico, 813-571-7500. @micallefcigars on Facebook Pizza n’ Brew Bbig game giveaways and food/drink specials. For reservations of eight or more, call the pizzeria. 4 p.m.-midnight. 1507 Main St., Sarasota, 941-259-3894. @pizzanbrew. dtsrq on Facebook Stix Oldsmar Head to the pool hall and surround yourself with TVs and food and drink specials. Arrive by 6:30 p.m. to get an entry ticket into giveaways. Catering available; call to place an order. 5:30 p.m. 13918 W Hillsborough Ave., Oldsmar, 813-475-4697. @stixoldsmar on Facebook The Wicked Pour Stop by the taproom and savor a special menu by Buzzy’s Kitchen from 4 p.m.-halftime. 12351 SR 54, Starkey Ranch, Odessa, 727-375-9425. @thewickedpour on Facebook The Yard on Mass Great drink specials, a “Guess the Score” contest, cornhole tournament and more. 6 p.m. 802 N Massachusetts Ave., Lakeland, 863-333-0330. @theyardonmass on Facebook

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TOM BRU-DY: Tom’s done, but you can still go to the bar to watch the big game. Tiki Tavern If you like you Super Bowl parties in small towns, then gather around TT’s giant HD TVs, live music, drink specials, and more… ‘nuff said. 1 p.m.-10:30 p.m. 201 Main St., Safety Harbor, 727-843-8454. @thetikitavern on Facebook Top Shelf Sports Lounge Watch the game while enjoying all-you-can-eat food and drinks. Other drink specials like $3 Fireball and $3

Cinnamon Toast Crunch shots are available, too. $60/person. 6 p.m.-10:30 p.m. 3173 Cypress Ridge Blvd., Wesley Chapel, 813-953-1032. eventbtrite.com Unrefined Brewing Head over to their “house” for a Super Bowl LVI watch party. On the checklist: food, beer, good people, and fun times. 5 p.m. 312 E Tarpon Ave., Tarpon Springs. @unrefinedbrewing on Facebook

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Dang, dude

Ferrell Alvarez opens Asian-inspired concept next month, with hopes for another downtown restaurant after that.

ang Dude, a new fast-casual Asian concept from James Beard-semifinalist Tampa chef Ferrell Alvarez, hopes to open in downtown’s Sparkman Wharf early next month. Alvarez— who co-founded Rooster & the Till and Nebraska Mini-Mart, which belong to the Proper House Group—shared the news with Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, adding that Chef Tyrian Hickshaw and General Manager Sarah Colarte will run the operations at Dang Dude. Hickshaw works at another Proper House concept, Gallito Taqueria just a few steps from Dang Dude, and Colarte comes over from the Mini-Mart in Seminole Heights. Ty Rodriguez, partner at Proper House Group and once general manager at Rooster & the Till, told CL that Dang Dude is on a one-year lease at Sparkman Wharf, which is owned by Strategic Property Partners (SPP). Alvarez said he’s been in talks with SPP about opening a second concept at the food garden for the last four to six months. Barring any supply chain issues, he expects Dang Dude to be open by the first week of March, within the shipping container currently occupied by 7th & Grove (and Restaurant BT before that). “We’ve got to do a switchover and do a rebuild inside the container,” Alvarez said. “I used to be able to go to my typical equipment distributor and get anything I needed in seven days. Now, if you get it in seven weeks, you’re lucky.” The Dang Dude menu is still in development, but will probably include a play on the ridiculously-popular nuom choc cobia collar at Alvarez’s Rooster & the Till, likely using locally-sourced grouper cheeks. Ybor City’s Jamison B. Breadhouse has also been working on a bao-type bun for Dang Dude’s rou-jia-mo, a homemade Chinese flatbread stuffed with pork, beef or tofu. “It’s essentially a Chinese-style flatbread made with yeast, and Jamison B. has it down to a science now,” Alvarez said. “From a fresh state, you griddle it crispy on the outside and then you open it up like a pita and you stuff it with different proteins; we’ll be offering some braised pork shoulder with some cool funky sauces and toppings, some cumin beef and/or some togarashi tofu crumble, again with some cool funky toppings or sauces.” Dang Dude’s double-fried chicken wings, also gluten-friendly, will likely be tossed in a dry Szechuan rub or a sweet and sticky Asianstyle barbecue.

“We also anticipate having three to four dumpling potstickers spring roll-esque dishes, all very creative, composed with really cool funky sauces and toppings, like a scallion tamari vinaigrette with fried shallots and cilantro,” Alvarez said, explaining that the Dang Dude menu will also focus heavily on vegetarian, vegan and gluten-free cuisine. “All of our soy sauce will be replaced with tamari, which is gluten free by nature. We will also be doing some noodle dishes that’ll be vegan, vegetarian and gluten free, hot and cold.” Asked how he plans to make a menu that includes chicken wings—one of many food items that have seen a drastic jump in cost to restaurants—work on the balance sheets, Alvarez said he’ll do it by right-siding the industry from a cost perspective. That means making sure Dang Dude’s menu prices reflect what it truly costs to get quality food made by workers making fair wages (now hiring ads for the concept say starting pay is $17/hour). “It was always a dog-eat-dog world. You get a 99-cent cheeseburger mentality, and then the neighbor does a 69-cent cheeseburger mentality,” he said. “We undervalue food, hospitality and service in our industry—that’s just not sustainable.” Alvarez said he’s received pushback online for $3.50 tacos at Gallito, but that the truth math, similar to the rising cost of everything from used cars to eggs and cereal, is just a fact of life. “We never have been ones to price gouge. We charge honest prices for quality products and ingredients made with our own hands from our employees,” he said. “We still anticipate the prices being very affordable and reasonable. But it’s a matter of just charging the proper cost and price,” he explained. And fans of Proper House Group should probably keep an eye out for a possible sixth restaurant from Alvarez & co. if they can execute a lease somewhere in downtown Tampa. “If we do pull this off, we would like to do a full-service restaurant that would have Mediterranean Italian undertones with hopefully a wood fire focus,” he said. In the meantime, Alvarez will focus on working with Hickshaw and Colarte to get Dang Dude going. “It’s going to be something different. I think the focus on vegetarian, vegan, gluten-free, is going to be really good and it’s going to be a really continued on page 34

OPENINGS

SKYLER JUNE/PROPER HOUSE GROUP

By Kyla Fields and Ray Roa

RIGHT SIDE: Beard-semifinalist Ferrell Avarez says his industry undervalues food, hospitality and service.

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BREAD BAG: Food & Wine had amazing things to say about this Ybor City bakery. continued from page 31 fun offering for those people that have trouble finding tasty, fun stuff within those parameters,” he said. “It’s a great opportunity for some of our young people to step up and take this container by the reins and really put up some great numbers and learn in the process.” Open Kojak’s House of Ribs After operating its nowshuttered flagship location for 44 years, the South Tampa staple reopened in Seffner on Tuesday out of a former Pizza Hut. Although the new location looks quite different from its previous old-school farmhouse-turned-restuarant, the Kojak’s will have the same management and menu that made it famous so many years ago. The Kojak’s menu consists of slow cooked pork, beef and chicken, homemade sides and decadent desserts—like Mama’s chocolate cake and Aunt Shelby’s Key Lime Pie. You can even cover BBQ favorites like pulled pork, hot smoked sausage and pork ribs in some house-made Kojak’s BBQ sauce, which you can purchase in bulk. 1809 S Parsons Ave., Seffner. kojaksbbq.net Opening soon 2D Café Stepping into the fairytale or comic book of your choice will be easier than ever when 2D Cáfe opens in the former swah-rey bakery location. The two-dimensional illusion is created by

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drawing thick, black outlines on an all-white background—which blurs the lines between our world and a cartoon one. ThatsSoTampa says 2D Cáfe will open in a few months, at the end of February or beginning of March. Its Central Avenue storefront was once home to the recentlyshuttered bakery swah-rey, and similarities between the two concepts might explain the quick turnaround time. 2105 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. @the2dcafe on Instagram The Brutalist / Temple of Beer The Brutalist and its taproom counterpart the Temple of Beer will soft open on March 10 during the very first King State Lagerfest—a new Tampa Bay Beer Week heavy hitter that will be the first opportunity to taste Brutalist’s first beers. Brewers for the festival have been trickling out via @ thebrutalist.beer. 1776 11th Ave. N, St. Petersburg. templeofbeer.com Pacific Counter “Good food and good vibes” are headed to downtown Tampa this summer when the St. Pete chain it opens its third location. Serving signature ready-to-order Counter Creations and Build Your Own poke bowls, sushi burritos and a wide selection of beverages, the St. Petersburg restaurant is expanding its franchise over the bridge after four years of searching. North Ashley Drive and West Tyler Street in the Modera Apartments, Tampa. pacificcounter.com— Sofía García Vargas

Lala If you love singing your heart out at karaoke but don’t like embarrassing yourself in front of everyone, then Lala (stylized “LALA”), St. Petersburg’s new (and only) bar and restaurant with private karaoke rooms, may interest you. Slated to open during the first week of February, the restaurant, its two bars, and seven private karaoke rooms will occupy a two-story building in the Grand Central District and share an outdoor courtyard with its neighbor Grand Central Brewhouse. Owner Luckas Herraiz told CL that it will serve as an “activity garden.” Games, live music, and maybe even a karaoke contest are to be expected from the shared space when Lala debuts next month. LALA’s eclectic menu stacked with American-French fusion will definitely distract you from those flat notes and awkward duets. “Our menu will be inspired by a combination of modern American, French and Mediterranean cuisine,” Herraiz tells CL. 2324 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. lalastpete.com Sweetgreen If you’re trying to avoid the heavy (and delicious) eats of Sweetgreen’s soon-tobe neighbors Bacon Bitch or Bodega, then perhaps this new health-forward restaurant. Sandwiched in-between popular gay club Enigma and Bacon Bitch, St. Pete’s new Sweetgreen will be able to seat 27 guests inside and 16 outside— as reported by the Tampa Bay Business Journal. Sweetgreen

OPENINGS

JAMISONBAKES/FACEBOOK

will open in St. Pete’s EDGE District at a collection of small businesses known as the Central Arcade. 114 Central Ave., St. Petersburg. sweetgreen.com ICYMI Food & Wine names Tampa’s Jamison B. Breadhouse as best bread in Florida Food & Wine senior editor David Landsel named “The Best Bread in Every State,” lauding Tampa’s very own Jamison B. Breadhouse as tops in Florida. In his piece, Landsel heaps praise on the 2021 Best of The Bay winner and lauds how owners Blue and Jason Laukhuf adapted to a pandemic that killed half of the business. 3615 E 7th Ave. Bldg. C Ybor City. jamisonb.com The Tampa Bay Collard Green Festival returns to St. Petersburg next month Although the Tampa Bay Collard Green Festival thoroughly honors the prized leafy green, this annual event is also a celebration of health, community, urban agriculture and dietary education. In addition to collard greens prepared every way you can imagine, the day-long block party will feature live entertainment, a celebrity chef appearance, cooking demonstrations, giveaways from community sponsors and the main event of the evening—a highly-anticipated collard green cook-off. Saturday, Feb. 19, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Dr. Carter G Woodson Museum, 2240 9th Ave. S, St. Petersburg. tampacollardgreenfestdonations.ecwid.com

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“DIY skating spots will never disappear, they will always find a place to exist.” MOVIES

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A downtown Tampa’s iconic DIY skate spot is dead. By Justin Garcia pulled out to his side while all the skaters were on the ground. They were ticketed for trespassing and released. Meronek had to go to court, which he documented with a digital camera and uploaded to YouTube. He had to pay a $600 fine. He skated to and from court and, “wore a shirt with a big blunt on it in the courtroom,” he said. Over the years since Meronek started skating there, the spot changed. It gained an official Google Maps location called “Turtle Ditch DIY Skatepark.” And it grew. Larger ledges and small bowls were added to the edges of the ditch. Eventually, it became a full-blown underground mini-skatepark. “In the past year, a group of locals who are hyped on building DIY went buck,” Meronek said. One of those locals who built a lot of the new additions is local skater Scott Bentley, whose day job is running Bentley Salon, which he owns. He and members of his skate crew “Seminole Heights Motherfucker,” along with people from the 10x30 Skate Shop, spent

SPORTS

“I explained what we were doing, and what a positive impact it had on the community, and he let me continue on,” he said. He pointed out that this interaction shows how much the public’s attitude has changed toward skaters since Meronek was arrested in 2006. Despite Bentley’s positive interactions over the past year, Turtle Ditch is on its way out, as construction crews continue demolition. People from all around the country and the world bemoaned the destruction on his Instagram post about it, but he said the biggest hurt was his own son’s sadness at the loss of Turtle Ditch. He’s considering approaching city council, to petition for a public, free, DIY skatepark similar to the famed Lot 11 Skatepark in Miami. There are other DIY skate spots emerging around Tampa, but the skaters CL talked to didn’t feel like putting them in the spotlight after the recent destruction of the iconic Turtle Ditch. Since the inception of Turtle Ditch, skating has gone from outsider to more mainstream, with the sport making its Olympic debut in 2020. Still, Meronek feels that skating is continuing to forge its path in mainstream society. “Even after all these years, it’s just still not as accepted as other sports,” Meronek said. “But DIY skating spots will never disappear, they will always find a place to exist.”

JUSTIN GARCIA

hat was once an empty ditch in downtown Tampa became a paradise for street skaters over the past 20 years. Now, it’s being demolished. Turtle Ditch, a concrete snaking pathway that begins at 1015 E Whiting St. and carves its way toward the railroad tracks that separate Channelside and Downtown, is in ruins. A construction company has removed most of the ledges, transitions and ramps that skaters built on the property. Debris and chunks of concrete rest on top of the graffiti that remains on the sections of the ditch. The city has not confirmed who purchased the property, but demolition workers at the site speculated that a private company bought it. Over the past two decades, Turtle Ditch had become an iconic spot that local skaters frequented. And at times the pros, including some from the Nike SB team, went there to get a taste of Tampa street skating. Rob Meronek, local skater and co-owner of The Boardr Skateboarding and BMX Events Company, remembers going there in the early 2000s to skate with friends. His crew and other skaters started making small adjustments to it. One of the first additions he remembers being added to Turtle Ditch was a concrete transition across a round manhole cover that juts out of the side of the ditch. The manhole is the reason for the name turtle ditch, because it is shaped like a turtle shell. Other skaters got involved, too, and built small ledges to grind on. But the city would often remove those additions in a matter of days. “We were like, ‘holy shit, people actually care about this?’” Meronek told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. Nevertheless, they kept making the ditch more fun, and at one point even had a satellite dish propped up on the side of the ditch that they’d skate on. Meronek has many fond memories with friends at Turtle Ditch, “It was perfect for old dudes like me, or young dudes who rip,” he said. But on “Go Skating Day” in 2006, the Tampa Police Department rained on their parade. Photos from that day show Meronek and two of his fellow skaters in handcuffs sitting in the ditch, with police officers looking down at them. He said the police had told them they were trespassing and slapped the shackles on them. One photo shows a police officer with what Meronek said was “either a taser or a gun”

hundreds hours building the site up to become what it was before the demolition began. “It was beyond a bunch of punks building something out of defiance,” Bentley told CL. “It’s taking a wasteland and making something useable and beautiful,” he said. Bentley has spent decades skating in Tampa and building up DIY skate spots out of wayward locations, including slaughterhouses. He had skated at Turtle Ditch for around the same amount of time as Meronek, but had always thought it “kind of sucked.” Last year, he saw that something more could be built out of the area. Before building anything, they had to clean up needles, beer cans, underwear and other debris out of the area. They spent hundreds of hours since last March doing the hard construction work, sometimes spending 13 hour volunteer work days to add new features to the skatepark. “It became a place where families would come to skate, and we even had people who were seeing the place for the first time donate to help build it,” Bentley said. He estimated that about $10,000 was invested into Turtle Ditch over the past year; Bentley only had to contribute a couple hundred bucks, the rest was donated. Bentley said he had a very different interaction than Meronek with law enforcement when he was caught building at Turtle Ditch last year.

LEFT FOR DEAD: A demolition team brought a tractor to Turtle Ditch to continue dismantling the former skate spot.

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | 37

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38 | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | cltampa.com

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WUNDER-FULL: Dumping area at Ft.DeSoto to be transfored into a maritime pine ecosystem.

Branching out

C/O RAY WUNDERLICH

In the aftermath of losses, Wunderlich has brought life to plants and trees in new places, and he’s forged new alliances while working with friends he’s known since childhood. “In 2004 and 2006, I had 160 volunteers at one time and 90-something the other, planting can appreciate their legacy and try to live up trees,” he said of his work at Pinellas Point Park. to what they stood for, who they are to you.” “We planted over a thousand trees, all total. In 2009, Wunderlich’s parents sold the Little dollops of pines and saw palmetto have family home. “We sold it at the very worst been able to survive despite the city coming in time, but that was the circumstances at the and whacking a lot of them down.” As for the questionable removal of trees, he time, we were bleeding money out of the old homestead, and it was a beloved house with says, “our hands are tied pretty much because of this city (St. Petersburg) and, particularly, many memories.” Back then and now, Wunderlich’s typical the state.” Laws have passed that make the removal of response to setbacks involves getting to work on a project that will do the community some trees extremely easy, Wunderlich explained. “As good. It’s a way of long as you have an looking beyond prearborist come in and conceived notions say, ‘they can cause Pine Tree Planting at Ft. DeSoto that he learned harm,’ you can take from his father, who them out without any Saturday, Feb. 5, 9 a.m. Visit @sarah.nappier and @patrickcrisler on Facebook, taught him about fee. They can just or cltampa.com for more info healing herbs in his have the tiniest infecgarden and practiced preventive and functional tion, and an arborist will recommend removal.” medicine long before it was in vogue. In Wunderlich’s old Pinellas Point neighIn this spirit, Wunderlich got to work restor- borhood, Houses surround the Temple Mound, an 800-year-old Tocobagan Indian site. He, in ing “pocket parks” long neglected by the city. “I grew up on the pink streets of Pinellas turn, leads tours educating the public on how Point,” Wunderlich said over the clink of construc- Florida native plants, naturally occurring in tion workers. “There were still woods down there the environment, can prevent the erosion of then. We grew up in a pine forest, and I’ve always the Indian mounds. “Non-native, exotic plants admired and loved pines. So with the destruction often grow on Mounds due to disturbance of the of the canopy that’s going on, specifically because Mound’s soil,” he said. of increased infill and McMansions, they took out Wunderlich also tells stories about the oaks here illegally and legally.” almost 7000-year-old Maximo Archaeological

Ray Wunderlich III stages pine tree planting at Ft. Desoto. By Julie Garisto

ay Wunderlich III is perpetually digging in the dirt, either through his work setting up organic community gardens and native tree planting or metaphorically, by speaking out against city officials, real estate developers and the ongoing poverty in St. Petersburg. The 61-year-old University of Florida and Florida State grad, who has a bachelor’s in health education from UF and master’s in sports administration from FSU, guides organizations in planting gardens large and small in Midtown and other neighborhoods throughout St. Petersburg. Wunderlich leads tours at Boyd Hill Nature Park, teaching visitors about the ecological and cultural history of St. Petersburg. But to understand what drives this self-professed “amateur botanist, historian and everything else,” start with the legacy of his father, Ray Wunderlich II, a beloved St. Pete doctor who died in 2014. The pediatrician cared for Black patients in segregated St. Petersburg in the mid-20th century, when African American families had slim to no chances of finding a doctor who would care for their children. “My dad lived in Pinellas Point, and part of my soul is in south St. Pete,” he reminisced. “When you have a parent, who’s just such a big part of who you are and you lose them, you

40 | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | cltampa.com

ENVIRONMENT

Park, on the shores of Boca Ciega Bay, consisting of multiple shell mounds. The designation owes in large part to the efforts of Wunderlich and longtime friend Beth Connor, an environmentalist and paralegal, whom Wunderlich describes as “a community-concerned, native St. Petersburger who immerses herself in local environmental and social efforts to better citizens who have little voice.” (In 2019, Connor barely lost against City Council Member Deborah Figgs-Sanders in a bid for the District 5 seat.) Around 12 years ago, he and Connor spoke out against disc golfers, who never received official permission from the city, to build their concrete-based baskets, throwing pads and removing natural vegetation to create paths into the shell mounds. Their modifications destroyed native, natural flora and fauna habitat, Wunderlich said. Attempts to remove the recreational fixtures altogether were unsuccessful. Although, Wunderlich and Connor did convince the city and disc golf contingent to relocate two baskets and pads from two prominent mounds and erect some historic information signage. “But the 18-hole disc golf course remains built, literally, over and in between all the historic archeological mounds and perhaps on yet to be discovered, hidden antiquities,” Wunderlich said. Wunderlich and Connor later convinced the city to halt scraping the beach of seaweed, and to stabilize a section of the beach, formally designated an Indian Mound by the state of Florida, along the southeastern shoreline.

“The frisbee golfers saw it as a personal Natalie Pruitt, is donating to the project through affront,” Wunderlich said. “They stalked and her family’s nonprofit, the Pruitt Foundation, verbally harassed Beth,” he said. “They were and Wunderlich is co-directing the project alonggoing through and dissecting all of these native side his esteemed friend Will Moriaty, director plants and four different ecosystems there. They of the nonprofit T.R.E.E. and former district were just ignorant in the matter.” roadside vegetation coordinator at the Florida Wunderlich also doesn’t mince words about Department of Transportation. the state government’s (lack of) environmental “When I run my show, I don’t want any regulations. waste,” Wunderlich said. “I don’t want any litSix months ago, the plight of a “beautiful” ter, no plastic, you know?” stand of south Florida slash pine trees trigCohort Moriaty jibes with Wunderlich’s gered a Wunderlich bat signal. The century-old sustainable work ethic, and the compatriot is evergreens occupied a St. donating around 10 trees Petersburg mobile home ($200 each) to the project. park on 54th Avenue North, Speaking of fruitful “The mobile home park collaborations: Earlier this was bought out because it year, Wunderlich partcould be developed, according nered with the Rev. Andy to new legislation by the city Oliver, the progressive pasof St. Petersburg,” he said. tor of Allendale Methodist “They took down hundreds of these pine trees.” Church. Oliver hired Wunderlich to build a comThe slash pines made up what Wunderlich munity garden on the church property. estimates as the biggest stand outside Boyd Hill “He knows my reputation,” Wunderlich said in all of St. Petersburg. of Rev. Oliver. “He knows I bring integrity and “Now, two-thirds of them are gone,” Wunderlich follow through to everything I do.” lamented. “So I said, I’ve gotta replant. I just can’t The garden, framed with wood sourced from have these trees just Boyd Hill, became go away. I said, ‘What the focal point of some controversy, can I do?’ So I conoddly enough. tacted the city of St. Neighbors of the Petersburg, the parks church protested department and the the philanthropic stormwater departplot, claiming it ment. Initially, they had an interest, but interfered with the then they said we aesthetic surroundcan’t do it.” ings of the district. Wu nderlich Still, Rev. Oliver and Wunderlich assured the city that he would buy persevered until the and install the City Council passed saplings. “I would new legislation that mulch them, and I would give rights would water them to property owners initially. Then they to grow and sell would have to water produce. them after the first U n d e r day, and that was Wunderlich’s leadall that would have ership, the church to be done to them, garden was sucand they refused.” cessfully installed Pinellas County, last spring and however, accepted still flourishes. Its Wu nderl ich’s crops have benefitFEELING GREEN: Wunderlich (R) request to plant a ted Feeding Tampa with a volunteer. new pine mini-forest. Bay and other groups Wunderlich is now spearheading an effort to helping local families in need. replenish pines in Fort de Soto Park. The stand “I go and find other ways to express what I of slash pines will be planted between the his- think needs to be done,” he said. “I also enjoy the toric fort and Arrowhead Picnic area, on the east educational components, guiding the children side of the key. The pine planting will take place coming up, young adults that are curious about at 5 a.m. on Saturday, Feb. 5. Event info here. sustainability, about environmental efforts. How Private donors, businesses and nonprofits can they get their hands and feet wet and dirty are helping out. Wunderlich’s childhood friend, through the planting of a pine tree?”

“I go and find other ways to express what I think needs to be done.”

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Just a whiff

Sarasota author shares excerpt of his new book ‘Dead Fish Wind.’ By Ray Roa

KAREN ARANGO

ooper Levey-Baker’s turned his own dys- the bridge, the bridge near home. She wiped the topian, twisted version of Sarasota into a tears from her face with the sleeve of her green book, “Dead Fish Wind,” and he’ll be in St. men’s button-down shirt. What would she tell her Petersburg this week to talk about it. “It kicks father she had been doing down at the beach? It off with a catastrophic outbreak of red tide, but wasn’t like her to slip away without telling him. the plot is really about a young woman who is She couldn’t mention the letter—he would insist struggling to escape from her father, whom she’s on reading it. But it was hers; it belonged to her. been caring for since her mother abandoned The mangroves offered respite from the them years ago,” Levey-Baker—whose first job ludicrous heat. A hush fell as she traced the was as editor of the since-shuttered Sarasota path among their shadows. Beachgoers sneaked edition of Creative Loafing—told us. To celebrate back here to have sex, and every now and then the release, he’s shared an excerpt below. she saw an empty beer bottle or a discarded — condom sunk into the wet sand. Back here, Dead fish had been washing up on the beach away from the beach, closer to the bay side of off and on for years, but Cicely had never seen the island, she could still smell the dead fish, anything like this: dead fish everywhere. The but the stench wasn’t as sharp. Her path cut bodies floated in on the crests underneath the bridge that of the gulf ’s small, foam-filled connected the Circle to the waves and piled up along the island to the north, where she water’s edge. Mucus bubbled and her father lived. Wordier Than Thou: up between the fish’s gills What did her mother look Cooper Levey-Baker as the waves knocked the like? Cicely had no photos of Tuesday, Feb. 8, 8 p.m. Free corpses farther and farther her— those had all been lost Studio@620. 620 1st Ave. S, St. Petersburg. cooperleveybaker.com up the beach, leaving them the last time she and her to bake in the punishing sunfather had been evicted—but shine. Cicely could see the final limp kicks of Cicely could still summon the details of one the few fish still living, twisting in pain. As the taken in their old backyard. In that shot, her final holdouts dropped from this life, one by one, mother rested in a tire swing, her feet dangling the stacks of fish grew still. down almost all the way to neat, freshly chopped The air stung. It felt like Cicely’s eyes were grass. The high, curled blond hair, the freckled being rubbed with sandpaper. Her whole face cheeks, the big shoulders—Cicely remembered grew wet with tears. The stench from the dead all that. But her expression? Was her mother fish crawled up inside her and scratched. smiling in that photo? Cicely did not know. Up and down the beach, people fled. She stepped over the battered-down No Teenagers squeezed their noses shut as they Trespassing fence that circled her lot. The packed up their coolers and towels and bolted for home stood two stories tall, unfinished and the parking lot. A gray-haired woman launched still wrapped in plastic, with hollow spots for a hacking cough as she waddoors and windows. The man dled away from the water. downtown who owned the Cicely wanted to stay, property was known to his wanted to reread her mothtenants simply as the Owner. er’s letter, but every line According to the story Cicely became a blurry mess. She heard, when everything colslipped the pages back into lapsed, he bought up all the the envelope in which it came, abandoned half-built homes the envelope her mother had addressed to her at in the area and started illegally renting them work. Cicely hadn’t seen or spoken to her in more out. Cicely’s friend Delanna—who also rented than a decade—how had she known where she from the Owner—had once pointed out the skyworked? The city in the upper left hand corner, scraper that was supposedly his, but neither of Orlando, at least gave Cicely something to go by, them had ever seen him. a place to write to. But the PO box told her that Cicely dealt only with one of his lieutenants, her mother didn’t want her to find her. Or maybe known for his red bandanna and the baby blue she just didn’t want Cicely’s father to find her. box cutter he wore in his belt. He drove around She folded the envelope in half and squeezed to all the homes at the start of each month to it into the back left pocket of her jeans. Sand collect the rent. clung to her legs as she ambled between the The rent. The surprise of her mother’s letdunes, back to the path that wound through the ter had made her forget about it. Cicely’s father mangroves that clustered between the beach and lived with her, but she alone paid their way. For

BOOKS

“Even inside the house she could smell the dead fish from the beach.”

42 | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | cltampa.com

OUR STORY STARTS ON THE BEACH: Cooper Levey-Baker’s new book is a dystopian take on Tampa Bay. a couple years, Cicely never missed a payment, but last month she caught strep throat and the walk-in clinic had sucked up most of her savings. Now she owed for last month, plus this month, plus interest—almost a thousand dollars. She had no clue how she’d get the cash in the next ten days, before the man with the box cutter was due to drop in again, and she didn’t know what to expect if she couldn’t come up with the loot. Delanna told her tales about what happened to tenants in arrears. First, they paid interest. Then, if they still couldn’t pay, it wasn’t enough to just kick them out—they were beaten bloody and told to leave town. Cicely entered the house through the hole where the double doors were supposed to hang. The room that was intended to be the parlor sat mostly bare. The foundation had been covered only halfway with tile, but Cicely had stolen a

tarp from a nearby construction site and used it to cover the bare concrete, weighing it down at each corner with bricks, also stolen. The only furniture were their two chairs, empty. Cicely was perplexed. Had her father actually gone to the VFW to see if someone there might help them with the rent? Cicely had asked him to do so several times, but he never agreed. She felt a surge of relief. She didn’t have to hide the letter from him, for now, and maybe, for the first time in years, it wouldn’t be on her to find a solution to their problems. In the bathroom, Cicely splashed water from a bucket onto her face. Even inside the house she could smell the dead fish from the beach, but the pain in her eyes had subsided and her throat no longer itched. She poured a glass of water from another bucket and gulped it down. She checked her watch. She needed to go to work.

PLAY TOGETHER

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Guillaume Courtois, called “Il Borgognone”, Agar and Ismael, c. 1670, oil on canvas, Courtesy of Collection Fagiolo, Palazzo Chigi, Ariccia.

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | 43

44 | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | cltampa.com

INTERVIEW Alice Cooper

Monday, Feb. 7, 8 p.m. $53.50-$95 Ruth Eckerd Hall. 1111 McMullen Booth Rd., Clearwater. rutheckerdhall.com

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He’s back

Talking politics, Ronnie Spector and more with Alice Cooper. By Josh Bradley

Do you enjoy playing smaller theaters like you have recently? You used to sell out stadiums and arenas back in the ‘70s and ‘80s. You know, sometimes, we actually go out of our way to play a whole tour of theaters, like the old Midwest theaters. There’s gotta be a thousand of them out there, and I actually enjoy that more, because I think the show fits better in a theater, because it’s kind of a theatrical piece. When you get into a place that’s so big, you lose the details in the show. And when you’re in a smaller place,

there’s an intensity because everybody’s kind of like, in one set area, and it’s much more intense musically, and much more intense theatrically. Why hasn’t Nita Strauss appeared on any of your solo albums yet? Well, that’s coming up. It’s so funny, because I work with Bob Ezrin, and it depends on the song.

Considering all the stuff that he has said in the last few years, how is your relationship with Ted Nugent holding up right now? Ted and I grew up together in Detroit, and he’s always been the mouth that roared. When he gets going, nobody can stay with him. I kind

turn on the Stones as loud as I could. I don’t want to hear politics, and I still feel that way. My music and my show is designed to give you a vacation from CNN, you know what I mean? I’m not preaching anything up there, and I’m not knocking anybody. If I do a thing like on “Elected,” which we would always do during the elections, and I’d bring out Trump and Hillary to fight, and both of them would get wiped out! That’s what was funny about it. If you’re in the political theater, you’d better be able to take a joke. So, that’s okay. I don’t mind the satire of it, but I don’t ever go up there and tell you who to vote for.

“My music and my show is designed to give you a vacation from CNN.”

CEASAR CARBAJAL

hen you’re Alice Cooper, there’s no room for politics. Not because he’s trying to prevent division in his fanbase, but because he genuinely hates it. “When my parents started talking about politics, I would turn on the Stones as loud as I could. I don’t want to hear about politics, and I still feel that way,” he told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay during a phone interview. Coop has certainly had his moments over the years, but he’s never decapitated bats with his teeth or come back to life after a fatal heroin overdose. He’s been married to Sheryl Goddard—a dancer on the original Welcome To My Nightmare tour—for 45 years. He’s a born again Christian, and he golfs every single day whether it’s while he’s on the road in Kentucky, or close to his place in Maui. “It’s sort of my second home over there, and it’s a great place to just cool off and chill until we get ready to go.” Cooper explained. In one way or another, Coop has a connection to almost everyone in rock music, he even co-founded legendary drinking group—and eventual rock supergroup—The Hollywood Vampires with Joe Perry and Johnny Depp. One name he was very fond of was Ronnie Spector, whose recent passing hit him hard. The Ronettes legend appeared on the original Alice Cooper band’s final album, Muscle Of Love, alongside Liza Minnelli and The Pointer Sisters. “She was the coolest chick in rock,” Cooper said. Knowing all of the connections he has, it’s safe to say that the world has accepted Alice Cooper for who he is, and that much of his fanbase is now of the age that his old sticklers—like Ann Landers, were in 1975. Get our abridged interview with Alice Cooper below, and read the full version at cltampa.com/music.

stuff, because I didn’t really have a shredder in the band, like Kane was. So now, I can do that. I can go back and hit some of those songs, because Nita can handle those. I mean, the other guys could handle it, but it wouldn’t be as authentic, whereas she can play like Kane Roberts. And so, that does open up those albums for me.

HANGIN’ WITH MR. COOPER: On and offstage Alice Cooper are two different people. In other words, Nita is a classic Shredder, and Roxie is a rock and roll guitar player—a Jimmy Page type of player. And Tommy is much more of a Slash kind of player. So, I got three different types of rock and roll players in my band, so now, I can go to a lot of different areas, after 28 albums. I couldn’t really go to any of that stuff from Brutal Planet or Constrictor, or any of that Kane Roberts

of look at him as his own entity. I don’t ever talk politics…I hate politics. I don’t think rock and roll and politics belong in the same bed together, but a lot of people think it does—because we have a voice, and we should use our voice. But again, rock and roll should be anti-political, I think. When my parents started talking about politics, I would

In the early days, you were, as you once said, the posterboy for everything that was wrong. Off the top of your head, what is the most laughable piece of hate mail you’ve ever received? It wasn’t necessarily hate mail—it was the press, which played right into our hands. Like Ann Landers—every housewife in America continued on page 47

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | 45

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continued from page 45 read Ann Landers every day in the paper, and one of the funniest things was that when Nightmare came out, she decided that “Cold Ethyl,” which is about necrophilia in a very comical way, was going to change the entire complexion of our youth. I had read the thing, and I was just laughing. I wrote a letter back saying, “Listen, Ann. If there is an incredible rash of necrophilia because of this song, then I’m guilty. I don’t think there will be. Get a sense of humor,” you know? Because it was totally written as a comedy song, but it was a very cool rock and roll song, and at the same time, it was part of this kid’s nightmare.

stage did not really want to live in this world. He didn’t want to go to the movies, he didn’t want to play golf, he didn’t want to be married. He didn’t want any of that stuff, right? He belonged onstage and in the studio. He only lived up there, and I divorced him on a level of “you stay up there, and I’ll live my life. And we’ll talk about you.” We talk about Alice in the third person all the time. We just say, “would Alice wear that? I don’t think Alice would wear that.” You know, the same way we talk about any character, and it’s a great relationship now. I cannot wait to play Alice onstage. But, I’m in church on Sunday, and I’m also taking care of grandkids, and I’m coaching Little League, and things like that. Alice would never do that! So, we have a great schizophrenic relationship.

INTERVIEW

A few weeks ago, Ronnie Spector passed away, and I read that she worked on the Muscle Of Love album with you and the original Alice Cooper Band. Do you have any memories with her? She was the coolest chick in rock. No way anybody was ever cooler than her. She was truly ‘60s—switchblade in her hair, because it was all ratted up on top. She was one of those chicks that was like a ‘50s gang chick. And yet, very hip, I mean, she just had the greatest voice. When her voice came on that song she did with Eddie Money, it was exactly her vibe. If he wouldn’t have had her on there, I would have called him up and said, “are you crazy? Get Ronnie Spector on there!” But when I got around there, I had her singing with Liza Minnelli and the Pointer Sisters, and it was a great combination of voices in there. CEASAR CARBAJAL

You mentioned going to church on Sunday. How does the role of your faith tie into your public persona? Well, for one thing, there’s the fact that there’s nothing on the Alice Cooper stage that’s satanic. We’re like a dark Vaudeville up there. And everything that Alice does is definitely tongue-in-cheek, and hopefully the audience gets the cleverness and gets the humor behind it. I always thought that horror movies were mostly comedies. The first time I saw Evil Dead, right? I’m sitting watching this movie, and it’s just horrific to the point where I said “there can’t be any more blood in this movie.” And then the pipe breaks and he gets covered in blood. He’s soaking in blood! And I burst out laughBefore the Alice HOPE GROWS: Alice Cooper says Nita Strauss ing. You know, I Cooper solo shows, will appear on one of his solo records soon. just said “this is how do you get into hysterical.” But character? Because a lot of people forget I think I always saw the humor in a horror that Alice Cooper is a character portrayed by movie. And Rob Zombie and I agree with that, totally. Horror, comedy, and rock and roll in bed Vincent Furnier. Well, in all honesty, there was a time when together should be a lot of fun for everybody. it was a magnificently gray area, where I didn’t And that’s what we keep it, we keep it at that. know where I began, and where he ended. When I don’t let really any politics, or any religion I got sober, I realized that that Alice Cooper on in there.

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THU FEBRUARY 03–WED FEBRUARY 09

C CL Recommends

THU 03

Rock the Park Tampa: Taylor Raynor w/Queen of Ex/Hope Darling Leave the Uggs and beanies at home. The weather’s back to being gorgeous in Tampa Bay, and that means the best excuse to head back out to the Curt where downtown Tampa’s free monthly series takes one of the local Americana scene's best utility players Taylor Raynor, local rock band Hope Darling, and sandwiches them around Queen of Ex who might have the best live hip-hop set this side of the Hillsborough River. As always, it’s free to attend and pet-friendly. Do yourself a favor and arrive hungry because Jam Dish catering has all the best tings for your belly. (Curtis Hixon Waterfront Park, Tampa)

FRI 04

C Caveman Cult w/Genocide Pact/ Reviled/Funeral Solution/Master’s Ashes You don’t have to own a motorcycle to go to Sulphur Springs’ Born Free Pub, but you might want to have an appetite for barbaric bestial death. That’s because Miami death metal outfit is at the biker bar alongside D.C.’s Genocide Pact (FFO: Obituary, Bolt Thrower), Texas’ Reviled, plus locals Funeral Solution and Master’s Ashes. You can’t overstate how primitive, fast and over-the-top heavy this show is going to be. (Born Free Pub, Tampa) C Kaelin Ellis w/Gat$/Treis & Friends The pandemic has been especially rough on Tampa Bay rap giant Gat$. In 2020, he lost his brother, Henry, and dropped his best and most personal work to date, Robbed, in response. There was a silver lining when he opened for Freddie Gibbs back in November, and now, for what appears to be his first gig of the year, Gat$ will hit the stage with the Alan Parsons of rap, producer and multi-instrumentalist Kaelin Ellis, Treis Alexander’s singer-songwriter project, Treis and Friends, and fellow Tampa-based emcee, DJ Eminent. If you can’t make this show, Ellis and Alexander will be appearing at Gasparilla Music Festival next month. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa) C Katara w/La Lucha While it’s yet to make that big lineup in New Orleans, BOTBwinning La Lucha has performed at an impressive number of festivals including Clearwater Jazz Holiday where the jazz trio is a natural favorite. La Lucha’s latest studio album, Everybody Wants To Rule The World, was released to a pre-vaccine world in June 2020, and two years later, the trio is finally on a bill with harp, bass and drum trio Katara for what’s easily the best jazz gig in town this weekend. Unreal that you can see this kind

of talent with no cover, thanks to promoter Unusual Noise and Dunedin Brewery where the price of admission is almost always $0. (Dunedin Brewery, Dunedin) Red Wanting Blue w/Carly Burruss/ Andrew Leahy & The Homestead Columbus-based Americana quintet Red Wanting Blue played Orpheum in January 2020, before we could even dream of the venue moving out of Ybor City. One pandemic later, Scott Terry and friends are changing gears, and taking on an outdoor, larger scale crowd at Skipper’s. During the height of the pandemic, the band put out The Peppermint Sessions, featuring horn and string sections, as well as rerecordings of a few tracks from 2018’s The Wanting—all recorded fully analog. Atlanta-bred country singer-songwriter Carly Burruss and Tom Petty-inspired band Andrew Leahy & The Homestead open. (Skipper’s Smokehouse, Tampa)

SAT 05

C Josh Groban The Florida Orchestra (TFO) and Musical Director Michael Francis continue their tradition of linking up with Grammy-winning vocal powerhouses for gala concerts by welcoming Groban to join the ensemble this weekend. After having canceled his March 2020 Florida tour, which included a stop at Clearwater’s Ruth Eckerd Hall, it’s no wonder that Groban’s show has been a long time coming for both fans, and the crooner himself. Proceeds from the gala concerts—which in the past have welcomed artists like Seal and Sting—benefit TFO’s education, community and artistic programs. A press release says that face masks are required at the concert and may be removed only when actively eating or drinking. (Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg) Kodak Black w/Hotboii + Friends Florida’s favorite artist of 2018 (according to Spotify), 24-year old rapper Kodak Black released a new single, “Love & War” right before Christmas. Recently, he challenged Jay-Z to a Verzuz Battle, with the stipulation that he receive the title of vice president of Roc Nation, should he win. (Kodak already won big last year when he was pardoned by Trump.) Orlando hip-hop heavyweight Hotboii opens the show. (Ferg’s Sports Bar & Grill, St. Petersburg) L8 Night Flights: Lyndon b2b Jason Kitchen w/Taetro b2b Curtis James/ Alen b2b JB Nicotera Electro dance music collective L8 Night Flights said goodbye to its home at the Edge Collective in St. Pete on New Year’s Eve, but now it’s been cleared for takeoff at a new location across the Bay. Billed as a new warehouse party, L8NF is just west of Town ‘N’ Country for this relaunch party in a big ass room with big ass, bright lights and disco balls, plus some of the best house music DJs and producers in Tampa Bay. (Avalon Event Center, Tampa)

Thelma and the Sleaze

THELMAANDTHESLEAZEOFFICIAL/FACEBOOK

By Josh Bradley & Ray Roa

SUN 06

C Gladys Knight This year, the Empress of Soul celebrates 60 years since the release of her first studio album with her longtime family band, The Pips. At the age of 77, it’s a wonder that Knight continues to be a leading role in carrying the flame of classic soul/R&B music, especially with the death of Aretha Franklin and retirement of Tina Turner. Three years after her controversial, yet nonetheless breathtaking performance of the national anthem at Super Bowl LIII, Knight will perform her semi-annual performance in Clearwater. (Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater) Nile w/Incantation/Sanguisugabogg/I Am Next year marks 30 years since death metal favorite Nile came together, and key songwriter and lead singer Karl Sanders is the only remaining member of the original trio still performing with the band. One of Nile’s last performances before the world went to shit was over at Orpheum, which will host the band on Sunday—for what’s most likely for the last time in Ybor City since the venue is moving—to promote its latest record, Vile Nilotic Rites. Joining Nile will be the even-older, Pennsylvaniabased Incantation, as well as Century Media Records’ Sanguisugabogg, and I Am. (Orpheum, Ybor City)

MON 07

Alice Cooper When you’re Alice Cooper, there’s no room for politics. Not because he’s trying to prevent division in his fanbase, but because he genuinely hates politics. Read more in our interview on p. 45. (Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater)

TUE 08

C Thelma and the Sleaze w/Johnny Mile & the Kilometers/Kaleigh Baker With an aura of unapologetic prowess and being tough enough to play a show in the snow, Florida concert-goers should brace themselves for the power of Nashville rock band Thelma and the Sleaze. The self-described “queer, all-female” band has six Florida shows planned in support of its newest album. Sacred as Hell, released at the close of 2020, recently got an upgrade when the band re-recorded tracks in a live setting at North Alabama’s famed Muscle Shoals Studio. Sacred as Hell offers the listener ‘90s grit, some indie-rock, along with a flare only raspy-voiced lead singer Lauren Gilbert (L.G.) could bring to the table. The addition of powerhouse vocalist-songwriter Kaleigh Baker and Bay area garage-rock king Johnny Mile & the Kilometers makes this weeknight gig a contender for best show of the week. (Hooch and Hive, Tampa)—Brandalynn Nuñez Cepeda

WED 09

Tool w/Blonde Redhead Remember when it felt like progressive metal group Tool would never release its long-awaited Fear Inoculum album? We were graced with it three years ago already, and right before COVID-19 concerns axed all concerts, the band was supposed to perform to a surely-packed Amalie Arena, marking its first Tampa Bay appearance since 2007 on the 10,000 Days tour. Brace yourselves, Tampa Bay. Maynard James Keenan and friends finally arrive this week to perform tracks from all across Tool’s 30-year career. Joining in the fun will be alternative rock trio Blonde Redhead, selected by Keenan to hopefully have Tool fans discover a new band with a different sound than his band. (Amalie Arena, Tampa)

cltampa.com | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | 49

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The only other Florida show on The Black Keys and Band of Horses tour is on Aug. 24 in West Palm Beach. See more of Josh Bradley’s weekly new, canceled and postponed concert roundup below. Get your show in the rundown by emailing josh@ cltampa.com.—Ray Roa

Mwiza Simfukwe Friday, Feb. 4. 6 p.m. Free. Riverwalk Stage at the Straz Center, Tampa Guianna Saturday, Feb. 5. 6 p.m. Free. Riverwalk Stage at the Straz Center, Tampa Kerry Courtney w/Eyelid Cinema/Noan Partly Saturday, Feb. 5. 8 p.m. Free. Daddy Kool Records, St. Petersburg RadioJazzHead Friday, Feb. 25. 7:30 p.m. $25. Hough Hall at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg Rutterkin (Album Release) w/You Vandal/Bad, Bad Things Friday, Feb. 25. 10 p.m. Free. The Bends, St. Petersburg

Big Freedia w/Taylor Moon/K-Ruth/ TBA Thursday, March 17. 8 p.m. $25-$50. Crowbar, Ybor City

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50 | FEBRUARY 03 - 09, 2022 | cltampa.com

The Black Keys will be joined by Alabama songwriter Fredrick James Mullis Jr.—aka Early James—who’s signed to Easy Eye Sound, the studiolabel of Keys guitarist Dan Auerbach. Also opening for The Black Keys in Tampa this summer is Band of Horses, which is already booked to play day two of the three-day Gasparilla Music Festival happening Feb. 25-27 in downtown Tampa.

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After skipping big arenas on a “world tour” that stopped at Jannus Live in St. Petersburg, The Black Keys are back in big rooms for a summer run that stops in Tampa. Tickets to see Black Keys at MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre in Tampa, Florida on Aug. 25, 2022 go on sale to the general public on Friday, Feb. 4 at 10 a.m. Ticket prices were not yet available at press time.

Joan Jett & the Blackhearts Sunday, May 15. 8 p.m. $50 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa The Head And The Heart w/Jade Bird Friday, May 20. 6:30 p.m. $38-$65. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg George Benson Friday, May 27. 8 p.m. $42.75-$72.75. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater Ricardo Arjona Thursday, June 2. 8 p.m. $56.24-$196.24. Yuengling Center, Tampa Kid Rock w/Grand Funk Railroad Saturday, June 11. 7 p.m. $45-$1840. MIDFLORIDA Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa A Wilhelm Scream w/TBA Thursday, June 30. 7 p.m. $17. Crowbar, Ybor City

Baby Keem Wednesday, March 23. 7 p.m. $30. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

flipturn w/Rohna Saturday, July 16. 8 p.m. $20. Crowbar, Ybor City

Kristin Chenoweth Saturday, April 9. 8 p.m. $45-$100. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater

Firefall w/Orleans/Pure Prairie League Saturday, July 23. 7 p.m. $38.75-$83.75. Ruth Eckerd Hall, Clearwater

Molly Tuttle & Golden Highway Thursday, April 21. 8 p.m. $50-$85. The Attic at Rock Brothers, Tampa The Movement w/Pacific Dub/ Seranation Saturday, April 30. 7 p.m. $20. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg Amorphis Saturday, May 7. 8 p.m. $25-$50. Orpheum, Ybor City

BAT: A Meat Loaf Celebration feat. Caleb Johnson Saturday, Sept. 17. 8 p.m. $29-$49. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater Mother Mother w/Sir Sly/Transviolet Saturday, Oct. 22. 6 p.m. Prices TBA. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg

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First time By Dan Savage

Long time reader here, first-time writer. I’m a bisexual woman. I’ve been married to a straight man for eight years. Our marriage and our sex life are amazing. We communicate well, and we have a lot of fun together. You probably think you know where this is going, Dan, but trust me this isn’t your typical bisexual-person-married-to-astraight-person problem. Here’s the thing: I would call myself a heteroromantic bisexual. I love men. I love dick, and I love having sex with men. Men turn me on. And I have always been interested in men romantically. I’ve also always been into women, but only sexually. I can’t picture myself dating a woman. Or being married to one. But I’ve never been able to get off from straight sex or straight porn. When I orgasm, I am either watching lesbian porn or gay male porn or I’m thinking about it. I am turned on by my husband. I find him attractive, and the idea of having sex with him gets me wet. But when it comes time to get off, I go into my head and think about two women or two men. If I don’t do this, I can’t orgasm! I’ve always been this way. My husband is satisfied, I’m getting off, and we both enjoy sex together. So, what’s the problem? I don’t want to have to leave the moment to get off! I want to be able to get off while being fully present! I feel like I’m losing out on a ton of intimacy with my husband by not being in the moment with him while I’m trying to cum. I want to cum from straight sex! Do you think there is a way I can achieve this? Is it fucked up that I have to think about something else to orgasm when I’m with a man? Help me! I haven’t told my husband this because it would crush me to learn he had to “dip out” to get off.—Being In Moment In Straight Sex Is No-Go P.S. I fully explored the possibility of being a lesbian but I’m sure I’m not. I really, really like men. I like men a lot. I couldn’t live without them. There’s a solution here, BIMISSING, one that would allow you to remain in the moment without sacrificing your orgasms. Zooming out for a quick second, BIMISSING, first let’s put your problem in perspective. You married to a man you love, you have a great sex life, and you’re getting off. You’re winning.

And you’re not the only person with this… well, I don’t wanna call it a “problem,” BIMISSING, because for some people fantasizing during partnered sex—the kind of dipping out you describe—is a solution. Lots of people need to imagine a particular scenario and/or particular cast of characters to get themselves the point of “orgasmic inevitability,” to use one of my favorite phrases from the sex-research literature, and if entertaining go-to fantasies during partnered sex is the thing that gets them to that point, they shouldn’t hesitate to entertain those fantasies. In other words, BIMISSING, while I wanna offer you a fix, I don’t want you—or anyone like you—to think you’re broken. Or fucked up. Because you’re not. Now, here’s the simple, easy, obvious fix— here’s the sex hack—that’ll keep you in the moment without derailing your orgasms: dirty talk. A quick review of my tips for dirty talk beginners: tell ‘em what you’re gonna do (“I’m going

to fuck the shit out of you”), tell ‘em what you’re doing (“I’m fucking the shit out of you”), tell ‘em what you did (“I fucked the shit out of you”). You can also ask someone what they’re gonna do, what they’re doing, and what they did. Now, if you’re already doing that kind of dirty talk, BIMISSING, great. If you’re not, start. Then, once you’ve mastered Gonna, Doing, Did (GDD) basics, you need to start mixing your basic GDD dirty talk together with dirty talk about your go-to fantasies. But before you can do that, BIMISSING, you are gonna have to level with your husband about these fantasies and your reliance on them.

Telling your husband that you’ve always had to think about gay sex to get to the point of orgasmic inevitability—while emphasizing that he makes your pussy wet, and you love having sex with him—is definitely a risk. He could have a bad reaction. If he has a problem with it, BIMISSING, tell him you’re like a woman who can’t come from vaginal intercourse alone, a.k.a., most women, only instead of needing to press a vibrator against your clit during intercourse to get off, you need to press a mental image of gay sex against your brain to get off. So, yeah, your husband could have hurt feelings, and it could take some time to work through this. But think of the potential rewards! Instead of leaving your husband behind when you start fantasizing about men fucking men and women fucking women, you’ll get to take him along! (And I don’t want to tell on straight guys here, but some of them really like hearing about two women fucking. Your husband could be one of those guys.) “BIMISSING can be fully present in her body and feel the great pleasure of sex with her husband—and know that this is where her pleasure is coming from physically—while also be intentional about bringing this fantasy into her mind at the same time,” said Dr. Lori Brotto, a clinical psychologist and a sex researcher at the University of British Columbia and the author of Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire. “And if BIMISSING can share her fantasy out loud, she’ll be able to hear herself sharing the details of this fantasy, which is an auditory trigger that will keep her rooted in the here-andnow even more and intensify the pleasure. If her husband responds with his own sounds of pleasure,” or with fantasies of his own that build on yours, “that will further anchor BIMISSING in the present moment.” Picture this, BIMISSING: You’re having hot straight sex with your hot straight husband. You start thinking about two hot fags or two hot dykes going at it. But now, instead of feeling guilty about these fantasies, you’ll be able to share them with your husband. And, yes, it’s a hard truth to share, BIMISSING, but for all you know your husband has some go-to fantasies of his own that he’d love to share—fantasies he may rely on when he needs a little help getting to the point of orgasmic inevitability. If you can successfully

integrate your go-to fantasies (two women or two men fucking the shit out of each other) with your in-the-moment reality (your husband is fucking the shit out of you while you describe two women or two men fucking the shit out of each other), you won’t have to “dip out” to come. P.S. I feel the exact same way—really like men, couldn’t live without men—and I’m not a lesbian either. Coincidence? I don’t think so. There are no coincidences. Follow @DrLoriBrotto on Twitter. Dr. Brotto’s new book, “Better Sex Through Mindfulness: The At-Home Guide,” comes out soon. This is my first time asking for your advice. I’m a gay man in his early-50s, a bit heavy, but people tell me I’m handsome. I haven’t gotten close to a man, let alone had sex with one, in many years. I decided to try some dating apps. In the past week I’ve had two hook-ups, both safe, but neither was successful. The first went south very quickly, the second went better with the other guy getting off. While I very much enjoyed the physical closeness, I couldn’t get hard either time. I have no problems with that by itself. I tried relaxing and just getting into the experience, but I just couldn’t get aroused. Both guys were attractive, the second even more so, but I couldn’t get into it either time. Any thoughts on how I might be able to get past this block? I just feel like giving up on physical relationships for good.—My First Time

SAVAGE LOVE

Take the pressure off yourself and your dick by telling your next partner that you wanna focus on his dick, not yours. And be honest about why: “I’ve been out of action for a few years and I’m easing back in to sex and right now it’s working better for me to focus on getting the other guy off.” Then pop a Viagra, put on a cock ring, relax, and enjoy. If you wind up being able to get off with him, great. If you don’t but you liked the guy and he enjoyed being with you, suggest getting together again. Then with those first-time-with-a-new-guy jitters out of the way, MFT, it’ll be easier to get out of your own way, get hard, and stay hard. It’ll also help if you gave less weight to the one experience that went south quickly and more to the one that “went better.” Start rounding that second experience up to a success instead of down to a defeat, okay? P.S. Heavier guys can be handsome, and some men strongly prefer heavier guys. So, believe those guys who tell you they think you’re handsome. Because as a general rule, MFT, when someone who’s actively trying to get in your pants tells you they find you hot or think you’re handsome, they’re probably not lying. Contact mail@savagelove.net, follow @ fakedansavage on Twitter, and get the Savage Lovecast, books, merch and more at savage.love.

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creative loafing puzzler 68 YOU’RE ALL A BUNCH OF 71 ANIMALS 74 by Merl Reagle 75 ACROSS 76 1 Airline once run by 77 Eddie Rickenbacker 80 8 Wit or good looks, 81 e.g. 84 13 Did a squirrel job 19 E.T. setting 20 Pack animal 21 Cracker with 87 cheese 88 22 Animals who are standing by to take 89 your calls? 24 Trail’s end, ca. 90 1850 92 25 Like many AARP 93 members 96 26 Navy rank: abbr. 27 Eskimo knife 28 Type of party that leaves everyone 102 feeling a little slimy? 104 30 HI instrument 31 Runner-up 105 35 Yogurt shop 106 crumble 36 Today’s testifiers in kangaroo court? 110 41 Elephant feature 45 Reset numbers 111 46 Type of whiskey 114 47 Bulrushes 49 SE Asian language 115 50 Voter who wasn’t 116 there 54 The drink of choice at animal 121 weddings? 122 57 Women, to 123 Cervantes 124 58 Alias letters 125 60 Like Rome 126 61 Part of AMPAS 62 Convert into code 66 Reaction to a mouse 1 67 Interstate, e.g.: 2 3 abbr. 1

4 Bark place 5 Black, to Blake 6 Cut (wood) with the grain 7 Not, to a Scot 8 Mother-of-pearl source 9 Certain stitching job 10 Sellout sign 11 Commit a foul 12 Flip 13 Clean, as pots 14 Firing range cutout 15 ___ the road 16 Road ___ (driver anger) 17 Narrative poetry 18 Nick’s cousin? 19 Clean, as pots 23 Out of practice 29 Get totally flustered 32 De Niro’s ancestors’ dinero 33 MGM dog 34 Red October, for ex. 37 Attendees 38 A coon’s age 39 ___ memory 40 Freestone peach 42 Arm bone 43 Salt, briefly 44 Famed Indian diamond, the ___-i-noor 48 Take the wheel 50 Miles off 51 Bandit in black 52 Spot 53 Marketing VP, e.g. 54 Climbs mountains, in a way 55 Marketing VP’s boss: abbr. 56 Mom’s bro 58 Height, in combos 59 7-foot-2 actor Richard 63 Kwame of Ghana, DOWN 1960-66 California’s motto 64 Despair’s opposite Let up 65 Name that sounds like a nobleman Early Presley label

They cover the waterfront? Often angry group Picked up Act Bat’s home Paris exclamation Bruce or Brandon Tried Where animals do their heaviest drinking—I mean, thinking? Bayer essentials? Saving option, familiarly Light ___ (weightless) Trouble In the past Round of gunfire Where most animals can be found on league night? “Going ___ ...” Item of attire for a barbershop quartet Pan dessert Where 68 Across hang out after work? Start of a Midwestern capital Court zinger Queen of Spain, 1906-31 Attack The oldest bank in the animal kingdom? Threatening words Love Story star Irrigation measures Does a sentence? Adorned, as with parsley Teal’s relative

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97 Eliminated one 98 Lake that’s the source of the Mississippi 99 Letter insert 100 Like Pegasus 101 Most minuscule 103 Actress Phoebe 106 Turbulence, to pilots 107 ___ avis 108 “That’s all; back to you” 109 Industrial haze 112 Rob Reiner’s dad 113 First name in stunt lore 117 Santa ___ 118 Where to catch poissons 119 Son of Noah 120 “___ man answers ...”

Solution to Double Double Meanings

68 No-longeravailable avian 69 New York city 70 They’ll see you now 71 Polite question 72 Where bacon may be bakin’ 73 Oyster homes 74 An econ. indicator 76 Chocolate substitute 77 Paul’s Oscarwinning daughter 78 Australian gem 79 Holy day 82 Pool alternatives 83 Exhalation of frustration 84 Pronoun that’s capitalized in the Bible 85 Shoreline structure 86 Desire 87 Landon and an alien 90 Lung sacs (anagram of I LOVE L.A.) 91 What “i.e.” stands for 94 Sequoia contents? 95 In scoring position

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