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sacurrent.com • May 23-29, 2018 • CURRENT 5

FIRST WORDS 1

27 On Ban Doors, Not Guns, to Stop School Shootings, Dan Patrick Says // Yes, make it even easier for a shooter to funnel panicked kids into a killing zone. I don't know which should be checked first, the IQ of those who win office or the IQ of those who vote them in. – Kenneth Nielsen On A Suggestion for Coffee Shops in San Antonio: Digital Inclusion // It’s completely unnecessary to have a coffee shop partner with a reading program for youth. Library’s have everything they need, including internet. – Cassie Veguilla On Council Takes First Step to Enforcing Net Neutrality in San Antonio // Jesus, maybe if we let Google finish installing it's Fiber network everyone would have access to 2-4 providers and the free market would make the rules meaningless. – Greg Ayres On 24 Tiny San Antonio Restaurants You Should've Tried By Now // If you don't like Burger Boy you ain't really from San Antonio, sorry, that's the rules – Jess Tanner

Issue 18_21 /// May 23-29, 2018

NEWS

iHeart Bankruptcy San Antonio’s radio giant aims to pay bonuses to its execs while stiffing the artists it plays

COVER Plant-based San Antonians are banding together to promote more businesses, more restaurants and ultimately more dining choices that meat-eaters might not turn their noses at. Illustration by Shelby Criswell Art direction by Carlos Aguilar 6

CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018• sacurrent.com

Our top picks for the week

Layoffs Inflame SAISD’s Troubles The school district bleeds students. Administration fires teachers. The union declares war. The roiling continues at SA’s third-largest district

SCREENS

Solo: A Star Wars Story is a laborious drag

ON THE

CALENDAR

S.A.’s Net Neutrality Gamble If Texas and the FCC won’t protect the open Internet, maybe city council can

Throwing Shade Let the Sunshine In features a radiant performance by Juliette Binoche, but delivers mixed messages

MUSIC

Hooking Them In Peter Hook knows why Joy Division and New Order still resonate Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

FOOD

The Big Spoon Sipping tea at Starbucks Veggies Galore Vegans in San Antonio have more options than ever before

ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology

ARTS + CULTURE

Fallout Publisher Bryce Milligan steps away from Wings Press, stripped of Artist Foundation grant amid allegations of misconduct

NIGHTLIFE

Cocktail of the Week Juniper Tar’s Margarita de Cristal

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8 CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

iHEART BANKRUPTCY

NEWS

San Antonio's radio giant aims to pay bonuses to its execs while holding out on the artists it plays SHUTTERSTOCK

SANFORD NOWLIN

Mays family — gobbled up one local station group after another, turning them into cookie-cutter money machines. That business model gave DJs no leeway on what to play and instituted nationwide playlists. Later, the company even canned local talent in certain markets and piped in gab from elsewhere. The result? An R&B station in Detroit pretty much sounded like an R&B station in Des Moines, Iowa. The result, experts say, is that iHeart, which still owns 850 stations, helped hasten radio’s irrelevance as new competition emerged from media players, streaming services and a variety of new entertainment options. “Too many people are listening with earbuds and not their car radios,” said Gordon Borrell, a Virginia-based media analyst. “That’s spelled trouble for the radio industry as a whole.” iHeartMedia’s financial problems compounded over time, but 2017 turned out to be a monumentally shitty year. Competition continued to eat away at its listenership while its creditors — to whom the company owed $20 billion – tightened their squeeze. In conjunction with its bankruptcy filing, Clear Channel announced plans to restructure around half of its total debt. Those old enough to remember radio’s heyday may recall And from the looks of its creditor filings, recording watching in horror as Clear Channel — led by San Antonio’s artists will be just one more group waiting in line to get

Who says bankruptcy is bad for the pocketbook? Certainly not the honchos at iHeartMedia Inc., the S.A.-based radio conglomerate formerly known as Clear Channel Communications. iHeart CEO Robert Pittman raked in more than $14 million in the 12 months leading up to the company’s Chapter 11 bankruptcy filing in March, according to recent securities and bankruptcy filings. On top of that, iHeartMedia has asked its Houston bankruptcy court to authorize up to $24.9 million in additional incentives for 11 top officers, including Pittman. He stands to gain up to $10.5 million under that incentive plan. The request, which still needs court approval, comes as groups representing the artists iHeartMedia plays on its stations wait to recoup some of the roughly $16.4 million the company still owes them. Attempts to contact the iHeartMedia for comment were unsuccessful.

Radio Days

paid. The groups representing artists range from record labels like Warner Music Group, which iHeart owes $3.9 million, to performance rights organization ASCAP, which it owes $1.5 million.

Paying Jesus Last year, Pittman’s total pay package included more than $9 million in bonuses on top of his base $1.25-million salary. He made less than $5 million total in the two prior years. That hefty paycheck was likely engineered to keep Pittman around. After all, he was brought into the company as its golden hope for a turnaround. The exec’s marketing expertise was highly respected, and he understood the digital business, having helped build AOL and engineer its merger with Time Warner. Pittman brought some sizzle to iHeartMedia by changing its name and pouring more money into its streaming service and concert promotions. But those efforts were likely too little too late, said Borrell, who predicts the company may sell off 10-20 percent of its properties. “They essentially made Jesus the marketing manager for Edsel,” Borrell said. “He’s a brilliant and charismatic guy, but the debt really tied his hands.” sacurrent.com • May 23-29, 2018 • CURRENT 9

NEWS

S.A.’s Net Neutrality

Gamble If Texas and the FCC won’t protect the open Internet, maybe city council can SANFORD NOWLIN

≥

Last week, city council took baby steps toward ensuring San Antonians have access to a free and open Internet — a concept commonly referred to as “net neutrality.” At a meeting Wednesday, council’s governance committee green-lit discussion of a proposal that would require Internet providers that do business with the city not to block or prioritize traffic on their networks. The plan, introduced by District 8 Councilman Manny Pelaez, also could let the city penalize providers that engage in such practices while serving consumers. The move comes as the Federal Communications Commission, led by business-cozy chairman Ajit Pai, gets ready to roll back existing net neutrality provisions on June 11. In response, 30 states have introduced legislation to mandate an open Internet. But, since regulation-averse Texas isn’t likely to be one of them, Pelaez said municipal action is necessary. “I don’t hold out any hope that the state legislature or our governor are going to do the right thing for their constituents on this issue,” he said. “Let’s be honest – this is a legislature that’s

CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

never found a payday lender they could criticize. If they can’t do anything to rein in payday lending, they’re not going to do anything on net neutrality.” If you haven’t been following the debate on net neutrality, here’s the deal: In the absence of FCC rules, telecom companies could require services that consume a large portion of their bandwidth — streaming video services like Netﬂix, for example — to pay for faster access. They also could slow down or block content they don’t like. The obvious problem is that telecoms would be able to stiﬂe innovation and free speech by deciding which content providers get to play. Another risk is that consumers would face the Death by Nickels and Dimes as the profit-driven telecoms charge add-ons to stream video, game or use social media. “The big cities of this country are banding together on this issue to use the power of the purse,” Mayor Ron Nirenberg said, pointing to New York’s effort to boycott providers that don’t adhere to net neutrality. “In pushing on this, San Antonio is a pacesetter for the rest of the country.” Almost simultaneous with council’s

governance committee moving debate forward on the proposal, the U.S. Senate voted to repeal the FCC’s antinet neutrality ruling. However, a similar vote looks unlikely in the far more conservative U.S. House. Further complicating matters, the FCC’s Pai maintains the commission’s recent ruling doesn’t leave room for states and municipalities to act on the matter. And a group called USTelecom, backed by AT&T, Verizon and other big providers, has made not-so-veiled threats to sue the shit out them if they try. “Broadband providers have worked hard over the past 20 years to deploy ever more sophisticated, faster and higher-capacity networks, and uphold net neutrality protections for all,” CEO Jonathan Spalter wrote on the group’s website. “To continue this important work, there is no question we will aggressively challenge state or municipal attempts to fracture the federal regulatory structure that made all this progress possible.” On its own, AT&T strikes a less strident tone, saying it believes in an open Internet and federal legislation that ensures one set of rules. But, “a

patchwork of different local or state rules would confuse consumers, harm competition, and impede innovation and investment,” it added in a statement emailed to the Current. The ideal solution is for federal lawmakers to pass net neutrality protections, said Katharine Trendacosta, policy analyst for digital-rights advocate the Electronic Frontier Foundation. But that doesn’t seem likely unless Democrats can take the House in the midterms. In the meantime, a ﬂurry of lawsuits seems almost inevitable. “I’d never underestimate the [telecoms’] desire and their greed to make money,” Trendacosta said. “That’s why you’re seeing them fight this so hard at the state level.” But Pelaez, an attorney, said the telecoms’ chest-beating won’t thwart his ambition to let San Antonians surf without roadblocks. With Internet access a virtual necessity for job searches, financial transactions and study, it’s not just a luxury but a utility, he argues. “One way to make policy is by picking fights,” he said. “I don’t fear lawsuits. We’ve had a lot of collaboration with attorneys as we’ve looked at this issue.”

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CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

NEWS

LAYOFFS INFLAME SAISD’S

BEKAH MCNEEL

TROUBLES The school district bleeds students. Administration fires teachers. The union declares war. The roiling continues at SA’s third-largest district

For weeks, teachers in San Antonio ISD had known layoffs were coming. Declining enrollment led to a projected $31 million shortfall, and the board had already given the green light to Superintendent Pedro Martinez to consider a “reduction in force,” or “RIF,” to help stem the budgetary bleeding. On May 8, the Tuesday before Teacher Appreciation Day, the San Antonio Alliance of Teachers and Support Personnel posted an ominous status update on its Facebook page: “The district has started calling in teachers to HR for the RIF. Please make sure members know not to go by themselves and not to resign. They need to contact our Alliance office immediately if they are told they need to go to HR.” The cuts had begun. By the end of the week, 132 teachers and 31 administrators had been given the chance to resign ahead of termination. By the time the SAISD board met on the following Monday, in a room packed with blue-shirted union members, some carrying handmade

“RIF Pedro” posters, only 25 of the “RIF’d” teachers had not resigned. This was not the first meeting of the year to see a crowd of protesting teachers. They’ve shown up periodically since Superintendent Pedro Martinez announced a partnership with Democracy Prep charter schools. Union members’ anger toward the board has been rising also because the elected trustees have consistently supported Martinez’s efforts to right the listing district. On May 14, the day of the board meeting, the RIF took these tensions to a new high – and they’re likely to increase.

A RIF Over Contracts This is one reason: because the layoffs were the result of a board-approved RIF, the teachers with “continuing” contracts will not have recourse to the third-party hearings they would have had in a normal year. In other words, it’s easier and less costly for the administration to sideline them. Those hearings are expensive, and if it weren’t for the special circumstances of

the RIF, the district would have stood to spend a chunk of the money it’ll save by trimming its workforce. In 2015, 2016 and 2017, the district paid an average of $100,000 per year in legal fees associated with termination hearings for ten teachers under continuing contracts, according to documents obtained through an open records request. The legal fees average out to around $30,000 per firing. However, district spokesperson Leslie Price said that doesn’t include hearing examiner and court reporter fees, which together can exceed $10,000 per case. The average teacher salary is $54,000. Under normal circumstances, it’s almost as expensive to fire a teacher as it is to hire them. In one case, the $63,400 in legal fees alone exceeded the maximum teacher salary in the district. Investigations in New York and California – where teacher contracts are far stronger than they are in Texas – found that protective contracts offered a significant financial disincentive to fire a teacher.

Critics of continuing contracts claim they protect bad teachers. Proponents argue that, in fact, they do the opposite. They protect good teachers. “One of the main benefits of continuing contracts is ensuring that the best, most experienced teachers stay with a school district. This benefits the teacher, the district and the students,” Texas State Teachers Association spokesman Clay Robison said. He argues that job security is a draw for talent, especially in a field with low pay and other challenges. Some compare continuing contracts to teacher tenure, a system that makes it more difficult to fire a teacher without good cause. The Texas education code defines as “the failure to meet the accepted standards of conduct for the profession as generally recognized and applied in similarly situated school districts in this state.” It does not say anything about a teacher’s classroom performance or student outcomes. During the RIF, the administration has based termination decisions on one year’s worth of CONTINUED ON PAGE 15 ►

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CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

NEWS

◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 13

classroom observation and evaluation. For as long as Toni Thompson, SAISD’s executive director of human resources, has been with the district – 33 years – teachers have had continuing contracts. The Texas Association of School Boards regularly surveys its members on teacher contracts. In 2017, only 271 responded. Of those, only SAISD offered continuing contracts to its faculty. Under a continuing contract, a teacher being fired has access to a costly appeal process. The majority of other districts offer only “term” or “probationary” contracts, which the district can easily choose not to renew at the end of a school year. SAISD also issues probationary contracts for new teachers and term contracts for coaches and other special positions. SAISD teachers also receive both Social Security and teacher retirement benefits, which are not required by law. Districts are only required to provide one or the other. Last year, the district put $23.1 million into its Social Security for All fund.

Fuel to the Fire Continuing contracts and Social Security benefits have made SAISD a pretty stable gig, so it’s easy to understand why the RIF terminations came as such a shock. Sixty teachers, many of whom had already resigned, signed up to speak during the "citizens to be heard" portion of last week’s meeting. They characterized the cuts and how they were carried out as “ruthless,” “heartless,” “disgusting,” “despicable,” “inhumane,” and “disturbing.” They called into question the accounting behind the projected shortfall and the evaluation process used to identify those teachers who would be laid off. Rumors of blacklists continue to swirl, with letters posted online from assistant principals who claim they were given a list of teachers to target for termination. Alliance President Shelley Potter called for an independent investigation into a “conspiracy to defraud teachers of their job.” The Alliance Facebook page repeatedly to refers to the RIF as a “scandal.” The district denies any wrongdoing or shady accounting. The conﬂict came at an already difficult time for the district, as tension with the Alliance has been building

since January 22, when the board voted to pursue a relationship with charter network Democracy Prep to operate Stewart Elementary. The union sees the move as “selling out” to charter networks, whom they characterize as private actors, though Democracy Prep will be authorized by SAISD and accountable to the board for meeting performance goals. The battle has been both pitched and litigious. Weeks ago, signs began appearing around the district casting Martinez as an enemy of SAISD. The union has also filed suit to stop the Democracy Prep partnership. The Alliance claims the district violated the “community consultation” clause of SB 1882, the 2017 law that will provide additional funding to Stewart under the Democracy Prep partnership. District officials are confident they met the community consultation requirements through parent and staff meetings the week before the board vote. Partnerships with charter networks are legal in Texas, and it’s unclear whether violating the rules of SB 1882 (which, again, the district claims it did not) would be enough for a judge to stop the partnership from moving forward. So, that’s where things stand – lawsuits, posters and protests. As in any troubled relationship, actions that before would have been irritating have become incendiary. The board did not waive the one-hour limit on the "citizens to be heard" portion of the May 14 meeting, meaning that each speaker only had one minute. In a text message, Potter called the move “disrespectful and totally lacking in compassion” for the teachers and staff who had just been laid off. The union is not certain yet how many teachers will appeal their terminations under the special circumstances of the RIF. Martinez isn’t the only one these teachers are pissed at. At last week’s meeting, teachers and their family members vowed to run and campaign against incumbent board members in their next elections. Once the board makes its RIF decision, teachers can appeal again to Texas Education Commissioner Mike Morath. He cannot overturn the decision, “unless the board’s decision was arbitrary, capricious, unlawful, or not supported by substantial evidence.” Given the climate thus far, it wouldn’t be surprising to see teachers try to make that case.

CULTURE

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CALENDAR

Margarita Cabrera & Cisco Jiménez Often reconstructing and reimagining everyday objects to address cultural and political concerns, artists Margarita Cabrera and Cisco Jiménez are bound by conceptual practices and masterful, reverent approaches to one of the fine art world’s most contested designations: craft. Known for works that are playful on the exterior but reveal deeper — and often darker — contexts upon closer inspection, the two artists were brought together for concurrent solo shows by Ruiz-Healy Art (RHA) to highlight “the dialogue they share with the handmade, and the conceptual way they converse issues of violence, migration and memory.” A native of Monterrey, Mexico, Cabrera aims to create social consciousness through her work, which has taken shape in sewn vinyl sculptures of vacuum cleaners, sewing machines, cacti, automobiles and kitchen appliances that appear deflated, wilted and even unfinished thanks to tendrils of dangling thread. Frequently collaborating with artistic communities, Cabrera rounded up 700 participants for her large-scale Arbol de la Vida: Voces de Tierra, a public art project to be unveiled in October along the Mission Reach. Offering a bit of a preview, her RHA exhibition “Collaborative Work” combines sculpture, textiles, watercolor and prints related to Arbol de la Vida and other community projects. No stranger to community collaborations himself, Cuernavaca native Jiménez worked for two years with Nahuas artisans in the Mexican state of Guerrero on Radiograbadoras de Barro — a project that employs covetable ceramic boom boxes and WED chaotic, homespun collages to address violence, immigration, pop culture and nostalgia. The boom box reappears alongside mixed-media collages and Mesoamerican motifs in his “Sounds from the Archeological Time Machine,” an exhibition RHA likens to both a “time capsule” and “a pseudo-archaeological OUR TOP PICKS FOR THE WEEK account of the products, food and materials we consume daily.” Free, 6-8pm (on view 11am-4pm TueSat through June 30), Ruiz-Healy Art, 201 E. Olmos WED Drive, (210) 804-2219, ruizhealyart.com. — Bryan Rindfuss ART

CISCO JIMÉNEZ

CALENDAR

Drag Me to Fame A blast from the past and bright new star join fierce forces for the May finals of Drag Me to Fame, a weekly talent night in which aspiring local drag performers compete to become a Rey Lopez Entertainment (RLE) Showgirl. Hosted by snaggle-toothed camp queen Tencha La Jefa and fellow Current covergirl Alayna Marquez, the high-stakes evening showcases the talents of rising drag starlets along with special guests Jade Sotomayor, who finished in sixth place on the inaugural season of RuPaul’s Drag Race back in 2009, and Pangina Heals, hostess of the inaugural season of Drag Race Thailand. A Chicago-based dancer and makeup artist, Sotomayor is best remembered for her lip-sync of the Britney Spears hit “I’m a Slave 4 U,” which came complete with the ultimate fashion accessory: an albino python. A half-Thai, half-Taiwanese performer who studied fine art at UCLA and champions the vogue-esque dance genre of “waacking,” Bangkok-based Heals (pictured) recently told the online LGBT entertainment source NewNowNext that she’s “bringing her unique cross-cultural perspective” to Drag Race Thailand, which can be streamed on this side of the pond via YouTube. $10-$15, midnight, Heat Nightclub, 1500 N. Main Ave., (210) 386-4537, reylopezentertainment.com. — BR

COURTESY OF MIKE QUU

DRAG

CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

COURTESY OF PANGINA HEALS

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COMEDY Stand-up comedian Mike Quu (pronounced Q) promises to deliver a “pedal-to-themetal ride of laughs” for his Full Throttle Comedy Tour in San Antonio, the 22nd city on his 49-city trek across the nation — from Miami to Seattle. During a phone chat with the Current last week, the Long Island native said Full Throttle features all new material and covers everything from paying back student loans to current events. Most of the set, however, focuses on what it was like growing up in the 1980s in comparison to living today as a millennial in the age of social media and how that affects relationships and dating. “Technology plays a factor,” said Quu, 34, who is also the host of the podcast Teach Me I’m Stupid. “Now you have to go back and delete your entire digital footprint. If you meet a girl face to face, she’ll think you’re crazy. She’ll tell you to just slide into her DMs instead.” When asked if he recently read about Jacqueline Ades, the Phoenix woman who sent 65,000 texts to a man after only one date, Quu said he could sympathize. “I think I dated her.” $17, 8:30pm Wed-Thu, Improv San Antonio, 849 E. Commerce St., (210) 2291420, rivercentercomedyclub.com. – Kiko Martinez

‘Cowboys and Indians’ Beyond the iconic Campbell’s soup cans, Brillo boxes and portraits of the rich and famous, pop pioneer Andy Warhol created numerous portfolios meant to stand on their own — including the drag and trans portraits “Ladies and Gentlemen,” the controversial “Ten Portraits of Jews of the 20th Century” (which The Philadelphia Inquirer pegged as “Jewploitation”) and “Cowboys and Indians,” which comes to light this week at the Briscoe Western Art Museum. Far from politically correct even by the standards of the ignorant ’80s, the series takes an irreverent, Hollywoodian approach to redefining icons such as Apache chief Geronimo, sharpshooting folk hero Annie Oakley (left) and Civil War cavalry commander General Custer — not to mention kachina dolls and a buffalo (aka Indian head) nickel. Described by Warhol specialist Revolver Gallery as both an “ahistorical representation” and FRI-TUE an “ironic commentary on America’s collective mythology of the historic West,” the portfolio meets its match in San Antonio via “Myth of the West,” a retrospective featuring 26 cinematic paintings by Billy Schenk, a New Mexico-based rancher and pop artist who’s been dubbed the “Warhol of the West.” The Briscoe’s opening weekend programming includes a book signing with Schenk (11am-1pm (11am-1pm Sat) Sat and Nostalgia Unbound: Songs About the West, a concert brought to life by pianist/ vocalist Alan Jones and vocalist and Cindy Miller (2pm ( Sat). $8-$10, 10am-5pm FriSun, 10am-9pm Tue (on view through September 3), Briscoe Western Art Museum, 210 W. Market St., (210) 299-4499, briscoemuseum.org. — BR ART

25-29

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SAT

E NKO V IC

Los Angeles-based singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Pearl Charles comes to town with her band this weekend for the second time this year. And, as far as we’re concerned, she can keep on coming back as often as she pleases. Charles dropped her first LP, Sleepless Dreamer, in February, picking up right where she left off with her near-perfect, self-titled debut EP back in 2015. Charles, through her time spent in throwback rock act the Blank Tapes, alt-country act the Driftwood Singers, and at CalArts, where she studied music, has arrived at a sound that is as tight as it is effortless. Jangly, gently psychedelic and frequently catchy, Charles’ songs on both of her recorded efforts (check ‘em out at pearlcharlesmusic.bandcamp.com) combine Laurel Canyon hippie country vibes with a smart and casually world-weary pop sensibility. The result is music that is a joy to listen to, but also is intricate and (lyrically speaking) deep enough to be as rewarding on listen number 100 as it was on listen number one. $12, 8pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com. — James Courtney

P MIL

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CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

8:45PM

RANDY BEAMER & GARY SWEENEY

Voter Registration, Information Fair with Community Agencies, Memorial, Speakers, Music, Food, Kids Area & Blood Drive

WWW.WEARORANGESATX.ORG

COURTESY OF TACO TRUCK THROWDOWN

ALAMO BEER COMPANY, 202 LAMAR ST 78202

CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

COURTESY OF CATTYWAMPUS PRESS

SPECIAL As readers may recall from our cover story “Celebrating EVENT Barney Smith, the Norman Rockwell of Toilet Seat Art” (January 24, 2018), Alamo Heights folk artist and raconteur Barney Smith is ready to throw in the towel and sell the beloved Toilet Seat Art Museum he opened in 1992. Lovingly packed with 1,300-plus toilet seats Smith has craftily decorated in homage to everything from Fiesta and Pez Dispensers to the Challenger and the Berlin Wall, the nationally recognized roadside attraction and its inimitable proprietor are respectfully celebrated in King of the Commode, a Kickstarter-funded book hitting shelves May 24 courtesy of Austin-based micropublisher Cattywampus Press (CWP). In celebration of both the book’s May 24 release, Barney Smith Day (an official Alamo Heights observance since 2017) and Smith’s 97th birthday (!), CWP SAT invites friends old and new to “come visit with Barney, tour the museum, and enjoy one of Barney’s favorite snacks, milk and cookies!” Free, noon3pm, Barney Smith’s Toilet Seat Art Museum, 239 Abiso Ave., (210) 8247791, facebook.com/satxtsam. — BR

SAT As a celebration of both the neighborhood’s 20th anniversary and the city’s Tricentennial, the Lone Star Neighborhood Association is throwing a fun, family-friendly party. It all kicks off with a parade down Lone Star Boulevard, for which the Grand Marshall will be Henry Peña of KEDA “The Jalapeno” Radio. While the first half of the parade is more serious in tenor, featuring a Memorial Day Tribute to neighborhood resident and Medal of Honor recipient William James Bordelon and a Veteran’s Marching Group, the second half gets wackier and invites community participation. Many of our city’s arts organizations, especially those with a youth focus, will be participating, along with other area businesses and community groups. After the parade concludes at Roosevelt Park, the second half of the event, the picnic, begins. The picnic portion will include hot dogs, nachos, beverages and other assorted goodies, as well as live music, poetry readings, dance performances and activities for kids aplenty. Pro tip: don’t forget the sunscreen and picnic blanket. Free, 10am (parade begins at S. Flores St. and Lone Star Blvd.), Roosevelt Park (picnic following parade), 331 Roosevelt Ave. — JC

SPECIAL EVENT

L O N E S TA R

King of the Commode Book Release Party

Push, Pull, Pedal, Dance, and Drive Parade and Picnic

Ivy Queen COURTESY OF IVY QUEEN

Before Cardi B. was making “money moves” recording both English and Spanish-language tracks, Ivy Queen’s brazen musical performances were shifting attitudes concerning gender and race. You could say the Puerto Rican hip-hop and reggaetón star was ahead of her time when her 1997 major-label debut En Mi Imperio struggled to find commercial success in the U.S. But two decades into the game, Ivy Queen has become one of the only successful female artists in reggaetón, a genre dominated by men and known for its objectification of women. A pioneer of urban Latin music, Ivy Queen melds various influences from salsa to bachata to create a unique musical style that lends itself to themes of female empowerment and cultural pride. On Sunday, the Aztec Theatre welcomes the reggaetón disruptor with support from salsa singer Jerry Rivera. $45-$76.65, 8pm, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com. — Marco Aquino SUN MUSIC

Taco Truck Throwdown What can we say about the Taco Truck Throwdown? If the name of the event doesn’t tell you all you need to know to get your ass there, then you need to seriously examine your priorities as a San Antonian. Maybe that’s a bit harsh, but probably not. For this year’s throwdown, the eighth annual, taco aficionados can look forward to $1 al pastor tacos from noon to 4pm (a fantastic reason to arrive early and hungry), more than 25 competitors to sample from, and great live music provided by Los #3 Dinners (puro San Anto rock and roll) and Finding Friday (party rock). Another reason not to miss this event is the venue itself. For anyone who hasn’t had the pleasure of kicking back a few cold ones at Texas’ oldest VFW, now’s your chance to mend the error of your ways. The historic building, SUN with plenty of outdoor chill space, is located on the River Walk near the San Antonio Museum of Art and provides the ultimate setting in which to enter the taco coma of your wildest dreams. Free, noon-8pm, VFW Post 76, 10 10th St., facebook.com/ tacotruckthrowdownsa. — JC

COURTESY OF TACO TRUCK THROWDOWN

SPECIAL EVENT

sacurrent.com • May 23-29, 2018 • CURRENT 19

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CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

1ST SEASON

CALENDAR

ART Artists Looking at Art: Alyssa Danna

The McNay hosts a talk highlighting the work of local artist Alyssa Dana, whose found-object sculptures have been installed in unexpected places in the museum’s newly re-imagined collection galleries. Free, 6:30-7:30pm Thursday; McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368.

Closing Reception: “Projets Dissolvants” The Gallery at MBS bids

farewell to French/Chilean photographer Catalina Sour Vasquez’s solo exhibition at a reception with light refreshments. Free, 6:30-8:30pm Thursday; The Gallery at MBS, 1115 S. Alamo St., (210) 412-0398.

THEATER Steel Magnolias The Vex closes out its

19th season with a production of Robert Harling’s bittersweet ode to strong Southern women and the ties that bind. $15-$23, 7pm Thursday, 8pm Saturday, 2:30pm Sunday; Sheldon Vexler Theatre, 12500 NW Military Hwy., (210) 302-6835.

The Bridges of Madison County J.

Scott Lapp directs the Public Theater’s production of Jason Robert Brown and Marsha Norman’s sweeping romance about the roads we travel, the doors we open and the bridges we dare to cross. $20-$35, 7:30pm Friday-Saturday, 2pm Sunday; The Public Theater of San Antonio, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258.

The Cherry Orchard The Classic Theater

puts a contemporary spin on Anton Chekhov’s portrait of social upheaval in early 20th-century Russia. $17-$32, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday; the Classic Theatre of San Antonio, 1924 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 589-8450.

FILM Julie and Julia The Botanical Garden’s

Foodie Cinema series continues with an outdoor screening of Nora Ephron’s 2009 dramedy starring Meryl Streep as iconic chef Julia Child and Amy Adams as Julie Powell, a food blogger determined to make every recipe in Child’s first cookbook. The screening includes a brief talk, culinary samples prepared by chef Dave Terrazas and wine pairings. $31.50$35, 6-9pm Friday; San Antonio Botanical Garden, 555 Funston Pl., (210) 536-1400.

SPECIAL EVENTS Chef Cooperatives’ Burger Showdown

Homegrown Chef and Its Destiny Catering bring together nine Chef Cooperatives’ chefs as they compete for prizes based on

audience votes. $35, 7-10pm Thursday; Burleson Yard Beer Garden, 430 Austin St., (210) 725-2339.

C.R.A.P. Night Community Revival Art Project takes over Limelight with an evening showcasing visual artists (David Peche, Evil Dave and Edith Cantu, to name a few), bands and DJs (Unofficial Whatever?, The Lost Project, Wayne Holtz and Mr. Glenn). $5, 8pm-2am Sunday; Limelight, 2718 N. St. Mary’s, (210) 735-7775.

8TH ANNUAL

Dalí’s Mustache Imagine’s recurring series brings together aspiring and established poets and musicians in a casual setting open to all ages. Free, 8pm-midnight Saturday; Imagine Books and Records, 8373 Culebra Road, (210) 239-7380.

Elena Gallego Rare Books Pop-Up Shop

Madrid-based Elena Gallego Rare Books pops up at the Pearl with a Tricentennialinspired shop (behind Local Coffee) featuring antiquarian books, manuscripts, maps and posters focusing on Texas and Spain. Free, 11am-7pm WednesdayTuesday; The Historic Pearl, 303 Pearl Pkwy., Suite 110, (210) 789-5824.

Fiesta del Verano This annual event

spotlights the talents of Guadalupe Dance Academy Students as they perform costumed routines set to music from the Mexican states of Baja California, Colima and Chiapas. $4-$8, 6:30pm FridaySaturday; Guadalupe Theater, 1301 Guadalupe St., (210) 271-3151.

Happy Hour Vegan Market Vegan

Meathead, Go Vegan San Antonio, Animal Ethics and other local organizations unite at La Botánica to offer guests recipes, tips and specialty ingredients. Free, 5pm-2am Friday; La Botánica, 2911 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 716-0702.

$1 TACOS AL PASTOR 12PM - 4PM

Team 10 YouTuber Jake Paul’s Los Angelesbased social media squad Team 10 takes the Aztec stage for a high-energy evening combining musical performances, audience participation, special guests, games and challenges. $52-$60.50, 8pm Friday; Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355.

Texas Salsa Festival Presented by the San Antonio Current and benefiting Hemisfair Conservancy, this second annual festival and competition features salsa samples from area retailers, individuals and restaurants (Viva Villa, Chuy’s, 5 Points Local, Tomatillos and many more), cold beer, food and refreshments for purchase, live music, three DJ stages, salsa dancing demos, art vendors and kid-friendly activities. Free (VIP $50), noon-8pm Saturday; Hemisfair Park, 434 S. Alamo St., (210) 227-0044.

TACOTRUCKTHROWDOWNSA.COM sacurrent.com • May 23-29, 2018 • CURRENT 21

COURTESY OF WINGS PRESS

CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

ARTS + CULTURE

FALLOUT COURTESY OF WINGS PRESS

Publisher Bryce Milligan steps away from Wings Press, stripped of Artist Foundation grant amid allegations of misconduct JAMES COURTNEY

On May 9, in a widely shared Facebook post, Hailey Laine Johnson, a 31-year-old artist from San Antonio, accused poet and Wings Press publisher Bryce Milligan of having sought and fostered an inappropriate relationship with her during the 2001-2002 school year, when she was a 14-year-old freshman student of his. In her original post, Johnson says Milligan, in her view, recruited her to go to North East School of the Arts (NESA) — a magnet high school in North East Independent School District (NEISD) where Milligan led the Creative Writing program — with ulterior motives. Johnson says Milligan “sequestered [her] from [her] classmates with a ring of privilege” and “wrote [her] songs and poetry about [her] breasts and [her] virginity.” Milligan, she says, would have her call him every night at 2 a.m. and tell her that he wanted to leave his wife for her. Milligan “kept [her] in a careful web of extreme adoration and reverence tinged with guilt, shame, and above all, complicity,” Johnson says. She says he would kiss her neck, call her his muse, and have her sit on his lap, sexualizing her in a way that made her feel alone and insecure. He preyed upon her youth, she alleges, and manipulated and controlled her through the power he held over her and trust she had for him. After these allegations circulated on social media, more people began to talk. Johnson posted (again to Facebook) a screen shot of a seeming, though incomplete, apology that Milligan sent her late at night on May 9 via Facebook. In the screen shot, Milligan wrote that he was “very sorry for what happened” and that he’d “rarely set foot in the classroom since because of it.” “I don’t deserve it, but I would ask for your forgiveness,” he continued, seeming to insinuate acknowledgement that his treatment of Johnson was inappropriate. Via email, Milligan told the Current that “Ms. Johnson writes a compelling CONTINUED ON PAGE 25 ►

sacurrent.com • May 23-29, 2018 • CURRENT 23

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narrative, and she can be very persuasive, but it is mostly fictional.” He noted that he had “taught literally thousands of students with no accusations of any misconduct other than the one in 2002,” and asked that we consider this fact and his reputation in the literary arts community as evidence that he was innocent of the things for which he stands accused. In another statement, issued Friday, May 11, Milligan offered the following: “I do not believe that blaming the victim is ever the proper approach to allegations of abuse. However, these recent allegations — which have been made against me by Ms. Johnson — affect my personal and professional reputation. Thus I must defend myself. I never had nor tried to have a romantic or sexual relationship with Ms. Johnson. I never harassed or stalked her and I have never interfered with her career or used any of my professional relationships to hinder her success as a writer or artist in any way.” He went on to say that his resignation had to do with the fact that his open-access policy — allowing students to call and email him at all hours of the night in order to foster their creativity — was drawing negative attention toward him and “it was negatively impacting the progress of the course [he] taught.” At some point in the second semester, with Johnson suffering under the emotional distress of the situation — she reports her “fingernails started to turn papery and [slip] out of their nail beds, [she] began having [her] first panic attacks, [she] became sickly” — she went to then NESA principal Judith York who, Johnson alleges, was dismissive of her claims. York has since denied not taking Johnson’s charges seriously, telling the Rivard Report’s Emily Donaldson the only reason she wasn’t involved in the ensuing investigation was because the division of duties between Lee High School and NESA, housed on its campus, stipulated that such affairs be handled by Lee’s principal. An investigation was eventually launched, but Milligan resigned amid swirling rumors before the investigation could bear fruit. NEISD spokeswoman Aubrey Chancellor confirmed to Donaldson that Milligan had been under investigation, placed on leave, and marked for termination before he resigned. Milligan, allowed to preserve his reputation by resigning, has since enjoyed high regard in both the San Antonio literary community and the broader Texas letters scene. As folks in the San Antonio literary community and beyond have voiced their outrage at Milligan and support for Johnson, other people who were students at NESA at the time have come forward. As of this writing, at least seven of these former students have corroborated Johnson’s claims to varying degrees to the Current and other media outlets. These individuals all mention Milligan referring to Johnson as his muse, having her sit on his lap, kissing her in the cheek, among other signs of an inappropriate relationship — which in themselves were misconduct. Writer Eugene Fischer, who was a senior at NESA in the 2001-2002 school year, posted on his blog on May 11 about the allegations. “I wasn’t present for most of the events that Hailey describes in the post, but I had my own interactions with Bryce, ones that from an adult perspective are perfectly

consonant with everything she wrote,” Fischer wrote. the organization is “listening to [its] community and assessing Fischer voiced support for Johnson and belief in her how best to be present in these difficult times.” account. He wrote that, at the time, Milligan’s “social The Artist Foundation of San Antonio, which awarded closeness with students went so far beyond the public high Milligan the City of San Antonio Department of Arts & school norm that [Fischer] started to worry for him.” Culture grant for literary arts (to the tune of $15,000) in Fischer wrote that he was angry at the time, because February, decided at a board meeting on Tuesday that it he didn’t want Milligan jeopardizing his position at the would strip Milligan of his grant. school, and thus Fischer’s chance to learn from someone Board spokesperson Susan Heard delivered the he describes as “a cool teacher; a guitar-toting, Dylanfollowing statement to the Current later that night: quoting free spirit who spoke “The Artist Foundation to us with rare candor.” relies on our winners to be Fischer said he confronted ambassadors of our mission: I wasn’t present for most Milligan, telling him “hazy which is to grant qualifying of the events that Hailey rumors of questionable artists working in Bexar described... but I had my behavior began to spread” County monetary support and that he should knock it towards a specific project own interactions with off. According to Fischer, chosen by an international Bryce, ones that, from Milligan said it would be worth panel of judges. In the case it even if he did get fired. of our most recent literary an adult perspective, are Two other sources who were arts grant winner, we do not perfectly consonant with in the creative writing class believe that he can effectively everything she wrote. with Johnson at the time, both execute the stewardship wishing to remain anonymous, bestowed on him. Tuesday have corroborated the evening, the Artist Foundation – Eugene Fischer, a former inappropriate nature of Milligan’s board voted to reallocate the classmate of Hailey Johnson, relationship to Johnson. returned funds. Our hope is One of the sources said via that, with this reallocation of in a May 11 blog post email that Milligan “went out grant money, we can move of his way to be physical” with forward and continue to Johnson, “having her on his execute our mission. The lap, holding her and kissing her on the cheek.” Artist Foundation is dedicated to preserving the integrity of “It was obviously inappropriate behavior, but when our arts community.” you’re talking about someone with that kind of power and Authors and poets published by Wings Press, which influence — both as a teacher and in the artistic community Milligan has run nearly by himself for more than 20 years, — the fear of backlash is very real, particularly the potential started calling for Milligan to distance himself from the influence he held over our publishing possibilities.” press almost as soon as these allegations began to be The other source explained via email that, “It was not a corroborated. secret that she was his muse.” Poet Amalia Ortiz, in a Facebook post on Tuesday, said “And, if you read his writing, his muses are usually her latest book, which was forthcoming from Wings, had sexualized.” been cancelled by the press. She confirmed for the Current In addition, the person noted having “ [seen] the favoritism, that she “was waiting to see if Bryce would step down as heard some of the songs, noticed the adoring looks… publisher, as he stepped down from Texas Institute of Letters, “I don’t know if everything happened as [Johnson] is when Wings Press sent [her] word [she] was cancelled.” saying it did, but even if it didn’t, the relationship was In the same post, which has been widely shared, still inappropriate.” Ortiz asked that Milligan step down from Wings Press Only two dissenting recollections, those of Claire “if he cares about the legacies of all the writers he has Chilton, who was a senior at NESA during the 2001-2002 published over his career.” school year, and her mother Toni Mullins, a teacher who It was just hours after that post when Wings authors taught an English class two doors down from Milligan were notified via an email from Wings Press that Milligan during his time at NESA, have emerged. would step away from the press effective immediately, and Chilton told the San Antonio Express-News that she that his wife Mary Guerrero Milligan and daughter Brigid believes Milligan “is not capable of doing the things that Milligan would be taking over operations. [Johnson] accuses him of,” claiming “it’s just not in his The Current has obtained a copy of that email. It states: nature.” Both Chilton and Mullins say Milligan had a strictly “Bryce Milligan will be stepping away from his day-to-day platonic relationship with Johnson and other students, and duties managing and running Wings Press.” that Johnson is lying. “Since 1995,” the statement continues, “Wings Press has As of this writing, it has been two weeks since the day been a family-owned, independent small publishing house and these allegations surfaced, and the literary arts community going forward will be managed by Wings Press co-owners fallout has happened fast. Milligan resigned from the Texas Mary Guerrero Milligan and Brigid Milligan. Wings Press Institute of Letters. He has been removed from scheduled continues to be dedicated to producing multicultural literature events with the San Antonio Public Library. And writer’s that enlightens the human spirit and enlivens the mind.” organization Gemini Ink has removed him from his only Amid all this, there’s been no new word from Milligan reading scheduled with them, saying in a press release that himself since the May 11 statement of denial.

“

”

sacurrent.com • May 23-29, 2018 • CURRENT 25

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Let the Sunshine In features a radiant performance by Juliette Binoche, but delivers mixed messages

≥

Unless you’re a female character in a Nicholas Sparks novel or an attractive actress under 40, chances are that Hollywood studios aren’t very interested in what goes on in your love life. While there are always exceptions — 2009’s It’s Complicated and 2011’s The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel are two examples — the rarity of these stories is no secret in the industry. Consider this: In a 2015 sketch on Comedy Central’s Inside Amy Schumer, comedian Amy Schumer teamed up with actresses Tina Fey, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Patricia Arquette to mock what she referred to as an actress’ “Last Fuckable Day” — a time in an actress’ life when the media decides she is not “fuckable” anymore. It’s notable, then, that in the opening scene of Juliette Binoche’s new romantic dramedy Let the Sunshine In, the 54-year-old Oscar-winning actress’ character is having sex. This doesn’t prove, however, that Hollywood is comfortable portraying a middle-aged woman in an uninhibited scene like this. Let the Sunshine In, in fact, is a French foreign language film and, as most cinephiles know, sexuality in

French cinema is not a taboo subject, which is probably why someone like Gérard Depardieu is still flashing his ass well into his 60s. Co-written and directed by Claire Denis (White Material), Let the Sunshine In is an impassioned and oftentimes frustrating examination into the empty relationships pursued by Isabelle (Binoche), an artist looking for love and striking out at every turn. There’s nothing romantic about Isabelle’s desperate attempts to keep a man or to watch a handful of suitors string her along. “I’ll never leave my wife,” one of the married men she is sleeping with tells her. “You’re charming, but my wife is extraordinary.” Although Isabelle finally pulls the plug on that specific “backstreet lover,” it’s difficult to understand Denis’ intentions with a narrative that becomes more maddening with every idealistic move Isabelle makes to find true happiness. Denis and Binoche capture the dissatisfaction Isabelle feels and the inconsistent nature of her character,

COURTESY OF LUCASFILM LTD.

DAN HUDAK

SOLO: A STAR WARS STORY IS A LABORIOUS DRAG ≥

You know Solo: A Star Wars Story is off to a bad start when you have to read an essay before it begins. Not in the form of scrolling text, as is normal for an “Episode” film in the Star Wars franchise, but in staid blue text, appearing after we’re reminded the story takes place “A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.” It’s a set up for what’s to come, but none of it is relevant: names of places, objects being smuggled, etc., are MacGuffins, and easily discernible without the text – they are in the movie. Spoon-feeding the audience isn’t necessary, but this is what the Star Wars movies have come to – catering to “everyone” and taking few artistic risks along the way.

This movie is enormous, ugly and dull, an all-out disappointment that no one asked for in the first place. It’s also overlong at 135 minutes, but straightforward. On his crime-ridden home planet, young Han Solo (Alden Ehrenreich) does what’s necessary to survive. He’s in love with Qi’ra (Emilia Clarke), but has to leave, vowing to return to rescue her. He joins up with smugglers Beckett (Woody Harrelson) and Val (Thandie Newton), believing a big score will let him return home. Along the way he meets Chewbacca (Joonas Suotamo) and Lando Calrissian (Donald Glover), among others, and yes, one of the few pleasures of Solo is seeing these relationships take shape.

COURTESY OF CURIOSA FILMS

SHADE

KIKO MARTÍNEZ

but at what price? At one point, Denis wants audiences to believe Isabelle is a free-thinking, independent woman, but then allows her to digress into this needy, self-pitying doormat at the drop of a hat. We’ll give Denis the benefit of the doubt and call Isabelle an intricately written character, but there’s an undiagnosed Cinderella complex happening in Let the Sunshine In that Denis doesn’t want to confront. The screenplay is aimless, but Binoche works with what she’s given and provides a subtly neurotic performance of a conflicted woman who desires undesirable men. Like Isabelle’s relationships, Let the Sunshine In is mostly unsatisfying, but Binoche — even when she flickers — is a ray of light.

If only it had more pleasures. Director Ron Howard (A Beautiful Mind) took over, and presumably brought on a more serious approach, after comedy directing tandem Christopher Miller and Phil Lord (21 Jump Street) were fired while the film was in production in June 2017. There’s no denying Howard’s ability or accomplishments, but the tone is notably dark here, with a color palette of muted browns that do little to liven things up. Add this to fatherson writing team Lawrence and Jonathan Kasdan’s script, which lacks a sense of fun and wonder, and the whole thing is a laborious drag. What’s more, Ehrenreich doesn’t have the boyish charm of the original Solo, Harrison Ford, meaning his casting in the title role feels misplaced. Ehrenreich has adequate screen presence, but he reminds one more of a young Jack Nicholson than he does a young Ford. Ansel Elgort (Baby Driver) would’ve been the better choice as young Solo. There are loose connections to the Star Wars canon as well, including a surprise cameo late in the film that feels chronologically out of sync and cheap. In a nutshell, Solo: A Star Wars Story encapsulates the issues hindering each new franchise fi lm since Disney acquired Star Wars parent LucasFilm Ltd. in 2012: fi lmmakers trying so hard to jam pack the movies with action, visual effects, and connections to the fi rst trilogy that they never tell a story well enough for it to stand on its own. Everything is catered to, and minimized for, the largest possible audience, and as a result the movies lack conviction and integrity. George Lucas’ original and prequel trilogies certainly weren’t fl awless, but at least those fl aws weren’t as egregiously pandering as this. sacurrent.com • May 23-29, 2018 • CURRENT 27

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CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

FOOD

Big The

Spoon

SIPPING TEA

AT STARBUCKS COURTESY OF STARBUCKS

JESS ELIZARRARAS | @JESSELIZARRARAS

And why we should hold the coﬀee giant accountable

≥

Next Tuesday, as San Antonians go about their day, Starbucks will close more than two dozen area stores. In fact, the coffee giant will close more than 8,000 company-owned stores across the U.S. to host part of their “anti-bias training efforts,” spurred on by an incident that took place in Philadelphia in mid-April. Last month, two black men were arrested for “trespassing” for using the restroom while waiting for a third party member, after a manager called the cops. Video footage from other coffee shop-goers showed Rashon Nelson and Donte Robinson, two businessmen, cooperating with the officers. The duo chose not to sue the city of Philadelphia even though they were detained for several hours. Instead, the Nelson and Robinson settled with the city for $1 each and the city’s promise to start a $200,000 program to help high school entrepreneurs with grants. This was likely the best outcome for the men, the city and Starbucks, considering how poorly things could have played out that April afternoon. The coffee retailer went into public-relations crisis mode. CEO Kevin Johnson, who’s been on the job for just over a year, apologized immediately and deemed the situation

“reprehensible” while vowing to “learn from this and be better for it.” This included anti-bias training, set for next week, as developed by the Equal Justice Initiative, NAACP Legal Defense and Education Fund and Demos, a nonprofit U.S. think tank. They’ll also consult with members of “organizations and civil rights experts — including the Anti-Defamation League, the Leadership Conference on Civil and Human Rights, UnidosUS, Muslim Advocates, and representatives of LGBTQ groups, religious groups, people with disabilities and others.” And they’ve taken other steps. Starbucks policy now includes a clause that considers all who enter a customer. That includes cafes, patios, restrooms — whether a purchase is made or not. The news of this also comes after a California man named Pedro ordered a venti white mocha and a venti iced caramel macchiato only to find “beaner,” a slur for Latinos, printed on his order sticker. This happened just last week, a little over a month after the outcry in Philadelphia. No cops were called, obviously, and Pedro accepted his apology from leadership after refusing a $50 gift card that added insult to injury.

It might not be enough to make you quit coffee (and you don’t have to, given the number of local shops in the area you could support instead), but May 29 should mean something and have actionable results. As a third place — not home or work, but a communitybuilding space — Starbucks needs to make sure that all feel welcome, especially as they keep expanding into lowincome communities. At this point, the Seattle-based company has already made huge social gains by providing health care for employees and has sought 100 percent pay equity for partners (i.e. employees) of all genders and races performing similar work. Any progress made during this “anti-bias training,” which should include a thorough list of scenarios for when calling the cops is necessary and why slurs have no place at a coffee shop – regardless of whether customers are paying $5-plus to enjoy a venti whatever with extra whip. As a business leader, and one of Glass Door’s 2018 Best Places to Work, whatever Starbucks does next could help rectify some of the racial inequalities America keeps dealing with on a daily basis. — flavor@sacurrent.com

sacurrent.com • May 23-29, 2018 • CURRENT 31

FEATURE: FOOD

JESS ELIZARRARAS | @JESSELIZARRARAS

CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

FEATURE: FOOD

sacurrent.com • May 23-29, 2018 • CURRENT 33

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CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

FEATURE: FOOD

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CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

MARGARITA DAY

NIGHTLIFE

COCKTAIL OF

THE WEEK Juniper Tar’s Margarita de Cristal

ERIN WINCH

≥

Juniper Tar, a speakeasy in the downtown area, is contributing to the evolving cocktail culture in San Antonio. The spot, which opened in January 2016, has created unique cocktails that have helped put this city on the map of the spirits and liquor world. The bar has been featured in Imbibe, Punch and Travel and Leisure. Their menu has a variety of house staples, seasonal cocktails, and experimental drinks that can be on the menu one week and off the next. One of their more recent creations, and our cocktail of the week, is the Margarita de Cristal. A Juniper Tar staff member says, “The Cristal is a take on a house margarita, and is different from any marg that the city has ever seen.” How is it

different? Well, to start with, the concoction is clear, hence the name. It achieves this look in the way it’s prepared. The drink is a clarified mixture of a blanco tequila, orange liqueur, lime juice and a saline solution. A clarified cocktail is made by batching the ingredients together and chilling. After the mixture has chilled, a warm milk is poured into the batch. Once added, the milk curdles and the drink is chilled again. It’s during this time that the color from the lime juice is extracted from the drink by the milk. The curdled dairy is then strained out with a cheesecloth, and the cocktail is batched. Once it’s stirred with ice, the concoction is ready to drink. The clarification lends more depth to the cocktail, and almost makes the tequila stand out a bit more than it

typically would. If you are a fan of boozy, stirred cocktails, and often find margaritas too sweet, this is the perfect drink to help you beat the heat. If you are a fan of a traditional margarita and aren’t afraid of experimenting with something outside of your comfort zone, give it a try. You could stumble upon a new drink that you never knew you’d like. The Margarita de Cristal is available at Juniper Tar for $11. The bar is open from 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. Tuesday through Saturday. 244 W. Houston St. (210) 229-1833

sacurrent.com • May 23-29, 2018 • CURRENT 39

MUSIC

Hooking

Them >

Only a handful of musicians get to perform in a band that helps mint a genre. Peter Hook can claim to have done it twice. As bassist in Joy Division, he shaped the dark and angular sound of post-punk. And, while holding down the same role in New Order, he brought an irresistible pulse to new wave and participated in the birth of electronic dance music. Now, as leader of Peter Hook and the Light, the bassist-producer-writer-educator is paying homage to those two iconic bands. The Light’s tour, which stops next week at S.A.’s Paper Tiger, will perform both Joy Division’s Substance and New Order’s LP of the same name in their entirety. Both albums are compilations of the respective bands’ career highlights. We caught up with Hook on the road while he had a 3 p.m. cup of Joe in his hotel room. He offered the lowdown on his varied career, why the audience is crucial and why teens in black still can’t get enough of Joy Division. You have a distinctive bass sound in that you tend to play on the high strings and use it more like a lead instrument. How did that evolve? I suppose it has something to do with my ego… No, when I started, I was very reluctant to go down and sort of play the root note when the guitarist, shall we say, suggested it. So, I’ve never been into that cliché of the bass player sitting back. That’s really not my style. When I looked at the bass players I loved… John Entwistle (of The Who), Paul Simonon (of the Clash) — for his attitude, not so much his playing — and Jean-Jacques Brunel (of the Stranglers) — for his playing and attitude — they were the people I wanted

CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

to emulate, not at all plodders, so to speak. And I was also helped along by the fact that my gear was shit in the early days, and it sounded awful when I played low. The only time it made any decent noise was when you played on the high strings. (Joy Division singer) Ian Curtis loved me playing on the high strings, and every time we’d practice he’d encourage it. “Can you play the high strings? Play high! Play high!” It just came from there really. The best thing we can all hope for is encouragement from people we admire, isn’t it? You were involved in the launch of the University of Central Lancashire’s music production program. How did that come about and are you still involved? I’m a mentor. The students come and work with the Light. They work with the Hacienda Classical, which is my other big project. They also work at my club in Manchester, which is FAC251. The reason I got involved was that people who are taught music usually don’t get much hands-on musical expertise — it’s difﬁcult to get. If you’re learning to be a manager, or learning to be a roadie, people don’t want you around if you’re just learning. They’re afraid you’ll fuck it up for them. Myself and the person who runs the course agreed that students need a way to get that experience. So instead of learning how to deal with a drunken drug dealer in your club at midnight, we shove ‘em in our club, and if there’s a drunken drug dealer, we send ‘em over. (Laughs.) Experience is worth its weight in gold, isn’t it? But the kids actually come along and work for Peter Hook and the Light, and they do the jobs they’re learning about. They learn how to promote. They’re running an event. They’re running the backstage. They’re doing all the unquantiﬁable things

people need to do to make a concert work. That way, when they sit down for a job interview and someone says, “Well, this learning’s alright, but what about your experience?” they’ll be able to say, “I’ve got experience in this, this, this and this.” This tour, your set is comprised of half Joy Division songs and half New Order songs, music that’s decades old now. Does it feel validating to know the songs have this kind of staying power with audiences? It’s obvious that if I wrote it, I’m going to think highly of it. But the important, crucial factor is that there’s other people in the audience who feel highly enough of it to come and see me. (Laughs.) And hopefully pay me something to see it. Without an audience, I’d be absolutely nothing. My objective, if you like, is to play every song ever written by Joy Division and New Order. We’ve done that with Joy Division — actually played them all in one go on the anniversary of Ian’s death. And now I’m working my way through the New Order catalog chronologically. New Order’s Substance was the best-selling album in America. It sold 3 million as a double vinyl in ’85-’86. We play that first and then segue into Substance by Joy Division. So, you’ve got two very interesting halfs — LPs in form, not setlists. We’re not pretending to be the groups that put out those albums. We are playing a celebration of those albums, which I’m finding that people are fond of. When they hear the album, they get to live through when they first heard it, when they met their wives or girlfriends, when they first went clubbing, when they had their first drug experience, when they had their midlife crisis. You know, people’s lives are chronicled through records, and we’re celebrating the records.

JULIEN LACHAUSSEE

SANFORD NOWLIN

Peter Hook knows why Joy Division and New Order still resonate

COURTESY OFSONIC PR

MUSIC

Some critics might hear that and accuse you of being a nostalgia act. Does that bother you? I couldn’t give a shit. (Laughs.) The very use of the word “critic” indicates they’re going to be negative. I mean, a critic could dissect your job and say, “What do you do but sit around and write about a bunch of old ass-beans all day?” It’s easy to be critical, isn’t it? But, ultimately, it’s the people who decide whether you’re doing it with heart and soul, whether they enjoy it and whether it’s valid. As you tour with the Light, are you seeing a new generation of people appreciating the music? The weirdest gig we did was Mexico City. Mexico can be a bit sketchy, so we didn’t know where we were playing or what size venue it was or anything like that, but when we got there, there were 5,000 — well, actually, there were 4,995 — people, and the average age was about 23. And I was absolutely blown away, I really was, that the interest in Joy Division was that strong and that young. It was fantastic. One of the great compliments you get paid is when people come to see you and they bring along their children. They say, “Oh, Johnny grew up on Joy Division and New Order,” and the kid’s there up front with a Joy Division t-shirt on. Actually, to me, the best compliment in the world was to have my son play with me, as he did before Billy Corgan poached him. The fact that he loves Joy Division’s music and he loves New Order’s music, and yet he was born 20 years after, is a great compliment. It wasn’t because of who his dad is, it was because it’s great music.

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Do you think Joy Division holds up for a new generation of fans because the feelings those songs embody are so universal, no matter when you grow up as a teenager? Absolutely. Ian’s confusion and his mental state were exacerbated by his illness. Basically, he was a teenager. He was just 20 when we wrote Unknown Pleasures. He was a confused, mixed-up kid, and confused, mixed-up kids — me included — tune into that. They still do. If you look at a hugely popular program on American TV, 13 Reasons Why, they play Ian’s music all the time, because it’s quite a dark series and the issues in it are quite serious. But the fact that the music still resonates with the producers and sets the scene and the atmosphere — no pun intended — is a great compliment to all the musicians in Joy Division. $25, Wed May 30, 7pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com.

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sacurrent.com • May 23-29, 2018 • CURRENT 41 San Antonio Current 05-23-18 M18NC216 RSD-Yellow.indd 1

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CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

COURTESY OF SOULFLY

MUSIC PICKS

Soulfly + Nile Fun fact, especially for all you Deftones fans out there: the name Soulfly was actually taken from the Deftones track “Headup” off their 1997 album Around the Fur. If you go back and listen, Max Cavalera, who lent his vocals on the song, is screaming “soul fly” in the chorus. (The more you know!) Anyway, Cavalera and brother Igor Cavalera started the thrash/groove metal band Sepultura, which rose to fame through the ’90s and released some incredible records that would influence a generation of metalheads and hardcore punks. Max Cavalera eventually wound up leaving the band to start Soulfly in 1997, which has more of a nu-metal flare to it, compared to the thrash roots of Sepultura. Also on the bill: Nile, a death metal band whose lyricism is punctuated with references to Egyptian curses and sacrifices. You know, real metal shit. $25-$30, 6pm, The Rox Box, 1223 E Houston, (210) 677-9453, therockboxsa.com. – Chris Conde WED

When you’re landing features on Kanye West albums at 18 years old, ya gotta be doing something right. For Chief Keef, though, this wasn’t exactly an overnight matter. With a couple of mixtapes out that were garnering attention on Chicago’s South Side, and then landing a record deal with Interscope Records, showing up on “Hold My Liquor” from West’s 2013 album Yeezus, proved the rapper had certainly been making some positive career moves. From creating a buzz in Chi-town’s underground street rap community to becoming one of the best-known young artists in the game, Chief Keef’s longevity in the business doesn’t look like it’ll be called into question anytime soon. $22-$89.50, 8pm, Alamo City Music Hall, 1305 E Houston St., alamocitymusichall.com. – CC THU

CHIEF

KEEF

Josh Turner

With the lowest of basses and a smile that could melt the coldest of hearts, Josh Turner endearingly blends straight-forward country and pop rock. The country heartthrob rocked the San Antonio Rodeo last year. If you missed him then, here’s your chance to get up close and personal with one of the best acts the genre has to offer. $20-$40, Friday, December 8, 7pm, Cowboys Dancehall, 3030 NE 410 Loop, (210) 646-9378, cowboysdancehall.com. – CC FRI

COURTESY OF MCA NASHVILLE

Crowns X Coffins + Villians + Stegosaur

This show is an alternative rock fan’s local dream. For starters, we’ll get a chance to check out the live chops of the hard-rock/alt-rock outfit Crowns X Coffins, which formed in 2017 and features members of the bands FIN, Lokey and Slowlikefire. Also on the bill, Villains is an alternative rock band but with a decidedly bluesier sound, steeped in a garage rock vibe, with a bit of a post-punk thing going on, too. You can dig Villains’ music at villains210.bandcamp.com. As you can probably tell from the tracks there, the band’s music is pretty killer in the livesetting. Lastly, the bill will feature the mighty Stegosaur, a locally-beloved, emotive indie punk band that doesn’t play too often these days. A chance to catch these dudes in action, as anyone who followed local music in the mid-aughts can tell you, is not to be missed. Full disclosure: Jaime Monzon of Crowns X Coffins is digital operations coordinator for the Current’s parent company Euclid Media Group. $5, 9pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com. — James Courtney FRI

SANTA HERRERA

sacurrent.com • May 23-29, 2018 • CURRENT 43

3 3 0 e g r ay s o n s t THOM SHEPHERD THU., MAY 24 • DOORS: 7PM / SHOW: 8PM J O I N U S T H U R S D AY S F O R

¡Vamos a Tequila! SPECIALS ON FINE TEQUILA AND TEQUILA COCKTAILS

DJ Biig Miike 10 P.M. - 2 A.M.

Open Mic Night!

MAY 26 • THE REED BROTHERS - CD RELEASE PARTY

SKYROCKET! FRI., MAY 25 • DOORS: 8PM / SHOW: 9PM

E V E R Y T U E S D AY | 1 0 P M - 2 A M

JUNE 2 • AARON LEWIS

WITH BRIAN HECKLER

GUY FORSYTH BLUES BAND SAT., MAY 26• DOORS: 8PM / SHOW: 9PM

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MON., MAY 28 • DOORS: 7PM / SHOW: 8:30PM

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CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

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MUSIC

Dance Gavin Dance Post-hardcore has started to become a stale genre. Like, the same ’ol screams, breakdowns, clean-singing parts and desperate lyrics about relationships or Jesus or whatever have become so paint-by-numbers that a lot of the shit’s just painfully boring. Dance Gavin Dance, however, have managed to stay just ahead of the curve with their tight instrumentation, solid songwriting and unique math-rock guitar melodies. $26-$30, 6pm, Alamo City Music Hall, 1305 E Houston St., alamocitymusichall.com. – CC SAT

LINDSEY BYRNES

Depeche Mode Holy shit, you guys. Just when we thought 2018’s live-music calendar was already looking pretty stellar, arguably the best post-punk band of all time announced a date in the Alamo City. That’s right, Depeche Mode has added a North American extension to their Global Spirit tour, which kicks off in Anaheim, Calif., and will stop at the AT&T Center on Sunday, May 27. We just can’t get enough of this awesome news. So, enjoy the silence for now because come May 27, we’re gonna be dressed in black and singing along to “My Personal Jesus” into the dead of night. $39.50-$129.50, 7:30pm, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center Parkway, attcenter.com. – CC SUN

26-27

Red Sun Rising Despite having formed in 2006, it wasn’t until 2015 that, on the force of its well-received debut album Polyester Zeal, Akron-based hard-rock/alt-rock outfit Red Sun Rising burst onto the mainstream hard-rock scene. Up to that point, the band had, with workmanlike dedication, toured its home town, then its home state, all the while building up a following online and in real life. Then came national tours and, finally, the band’s break – a deal with the Razor & Tie label. The band comes to San Antonio this weekend in support of its sophomore release Thread, which came out in March. The album’s first two singles, “The Otherside” and “Emotionless,” both managed to reach No. 1 on the Billboard Mainstream Rock chart. Red Sun Rising, in other words, is showing no signs of slowing down or of falling into a slump after its initial success. $15-$18, 8pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx. com. — JC SUN

SHERVIN LAINEZ

MARTY MOFFATT

COURTESY OF PRESS HERE

Joe Bonamassa

Joe Bonamassa, a blues prodigy, isn’t a name that’s widely known. But for aﬁcionados of blues and blues rock, Bonamassa – who opened for B.B. King at age 12 and has performed alongside the likes of Eric Clapton, Buddy Guy and Stephen Stills – is an important torch carrier for arguably the most American of musical styles. The proliﬁc singersongwriter and multi-instrumentalist (most revered as a guitarist) has released more than 15 albums, some solo and some with various collaborators. Black Coffee, the most recent of these albums, and perhaps a good place to start for the uninitiated, came out in January and prominently features vocalist Beth Hart. Each of Bonamassa’s pair of SA shows will feature both an electric and an acoustic set, a nod to the present and past of the blues genre. $83.25-$203.25, 8:00pm, The Majestic, 224 E Houston St, (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — JC SAT - SUN

sacurrent.com • May 23-29, 2018 • CURRENT 45

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MUSIC CALENDAR WEDNESDAY, MAY 23 Rotem Sivan - Live Radio Taping New York City-based jazz guitarist and composer performs with trio for a live radio taping. $10. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm. Storytime with Jamie Lin Wilson and Matt Hillyer When describing Jamie Wilson’s voice, two aspects come to mind: that honeyed tenor twang and that poignant, poetic, down-to-earth point of view she brings to her songwriting. $12-$45. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8:30pm. THURSDAY, MAY 24 The Blues Lawyer Live blues from the Blues Lawyer every Thursday at Hidden Tavern. The band will perform covers from Clapton, BB King, Muddy Waters and other musicians. Free. Hidden Tavern, 8-10pm. The Dirty River Dixie Band Inspired by Louis Armstrong and the Hot Five, Kid P Ory and Bix Beiderbecke, the Dirty River Dixie band performs a traditional 1920s jazz style of original songs. $10. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm. King William Jazz Collective Founder and music director Bill King brings you the 12-piece King William Jazz Collective. $5. Luna, 8pm. FRIDAY, MAY 25 Box String Duo Blake Alexander and Robert Jericho perform the best acoustic renditions of fan favorite songs at the Quarry Hofbrau. Free. Quarry Hofbrau, 9pm-1am. Celestial Descent, Mangata, Noise Quota, and Poets & Saints Five-piece progressive alternative rock group takes stage with indie rock band Noise Quota and Poets and Saints. $5. Imagine Books and Records, 8-11:30pm. Deadbolt San Diego psychobilly band describe themselves as “The Scariest Band in the World.” The band features two bass players called “The Wall of Thunder.” With special guests The Bent Gents and Harvey McLaughlin. $7-$10. Limelight, 8pm-2am. Johnny P & The Wiseguys Trumpeter and crooner leads the popular San Antonio jazz band that features old standards and hip original tunes. $10. Luna, 8pm. New Orleans Night - Doc Watkins and Pierre Poree Poree South Texas jazz musician Doc Watkins is joined by Pierre Poree of New Orleans and friends to perform live. $25. Jazz, TX, 8:30-11:30pm. Ruby Dee & the Snakehandlers Original music fused with synergy, sugar, sweat and soul. The 10-year-old four-piece combo plays Americana that encompasses Texas honkytonk, Bakersﬁeld twang, Memphis rockabilly, Western swing and good old-fashioned rock ’n’ roll. Free. John T. Floore Country Store, 9pm. SATURDAY, MAY 26 Chemicaust, Anialator With old-school thrash legends Anialator from Corpus Christi, San Antonio’s own thrash punks Violent Practice, San Antonio Thrash Hardcore Maniacs Executioner and Heavy Metal Hitters $7-$10. Limelight, 8 pm-2am. Doc Watkins and His Orchestra South Texas jazz musician Brent “Doc” Watkins and his orchestra perform live. $30. Jazz, TX, 8:3011:30pm.

Guy Forsyth Blues Band Texas blues and blues rock singer, guitarist, harmonicist and songwriter regularly tours in the United States and Europe, and has opened for Ray Charles, Robert Cray, Dr. John, B.B. King, Jimmie Vaughan, and Lucinda Williams. $15-$70. Sam’s Burger Joint, 9pm. In Bloom Texas original, Americana-style music. Free. Margies Bar, 10pm-midnight Jonathan Terrell Terrell has shared the stage with country legends such as Willie Nelson and Merle Haggard but has never fully rested on traditional country music. Free. The Rustic, 9:30pm-11pm. Matt Stansberry & The Romance Oklahoma City-based nine-piece rock’n’roll band created a sound and style all their own by blending American popular, blues, R&B, soul and funk. $10. Luna, 8pm. The Moipei Triplets Hailing from Kenya, The MoiPei Triplets take the stage for their Too Darn Hot tour. Concert will feature their own special arrangements of music written by Cole Porter, The Beatles, Simon and Garfunkel, John Lennon, Radiohead, Nat King Cole, Duke Ellington, Gloria Gaynor, Sondheim and others. $25-$35. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 7pm. The Reed Brothers Keegan and Kyle Reed play a combination of Americana, blues and rock with special guests Roadside Libby, a Texas country group influenced by Reckless Kelly, Pat Green, Cory Morrow, Cross Canadian Ragweed, Marshall Tucker Band, the Black Crowes, Jason Boland, Mike McClure, Stevie Ray Vaughan and Creedance Clearwater Revival. $10. Floore’s Country Store, 9pm. SUNDAY, MAY 27 The Foreign Arm Their ethereal music began capturing the attention of audiences who long for soulful nuances laced with feel of good jams from the last century. The band itself has a melting pot of musical infl uences from pop, indie, R&B, jazz, neo-soul, and some classical by way of Darian Thomas on violin. $10. Luna, 8pm. Ivy Queen Puerto Rican singer-songwriter known for her unique style of reggaeton with influences of hip-hop, salsa, and other musical dance styles. $45-$69.50. Aztec Theatre, 8pm. Moenia, Belanova Mexican pop act of the mid2000s, Belanova is joined by special guest Moenia a Spanish-electronica group. $49.50$64.50. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm. Third Annual Memorial Day Metalfest Hard rock and metal from across the U.S. and Texas. Free Admission for active military. $5-$20. Fitzgerald’s Bar & Live Music, 2pm-midnight

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I like watersports, and I heard about a guy in a rural area who holds piss parties in his backyard. I found a mailing list for those interested in piss play, and it wasn’t long before he posted about one of these parties. People on the list talk a big game, but no one else has stepped up to host something, including me. (I would, but four neighbors look into my backyard.) The host has very simple rules for who can attend: You have to identify as a guy and wear masculine attire. I get to the party, and there were about four guys and the host. I had a good time. The host had plenty of drinks out, towels, chairs, canopies, and candles to ward off the mosquitos. I’ve been back a couple times. Everyone is friendly enough and there’s the right amount of perversion. So what’s the problem? The host. He’s loud and annoying. He insists on putting classical music on (it doesn’t set the mood very well). He tells the same lame jokes every time he’s pissing on someone. He will complain that people say they’re coming and don’t show. If you are having a moment with someone, he will invariably horn in on the action. Without being rude, I’ve tried to make it clear that we are not looking for company, but he doesn’t take the hint. It’s his party, and props to him for hosting it—but it takes the fun out of it when the host doesn’t know when to back off. I’ve gotten to the point where it’s not worth the effort to go. Do I just get over it, or say something privately? Person Exasperates Enthusiast The advice I gave a different reader about dealing with a guest horning in on the action at an orgy applies in your case: “Even kind and decent people can be terrible about taking hints—especially when doing so means getting cut out of a drunken fuckfest. So don’t hint, tell. There’s no rule of etiquette that can paper over the discomfort and awkwardness of that moment, so you’ll just have to power through it.” Swap out “drunken fuckfest” for “drenchin’ piss scene,” and the advice works—up to a point, PEE, because the person in your case who needs telling, not hinting, isn’t one of the guests, he’s the host. (And he sounds like a gracious host. I mean, drinks, towels, and canapés* at a piss

party? Swank.) But your host’s behavior sounds genuinely annoying. Hosting a sex party doesn’t give someone the right to insert himself into someone else’s scene, and stupid jokes have the power to kill the mood and murder the boners. So what do you do? Well, you could send your host an e-mail or give him a call. Thank him for the invite, let him know you appreciate the effort he goes to (such delicious canapés!), and then tell him why some people say they’re coming and don’t show: You’re too loud, your music is awful, you have a bad habit of horning in on the action, and you need to learn some new jokes to tell when you’re pissing on someone (or, better yet, not tell any jokes at all). But I don’t think ticking off a list of his shortcomings is going to get you anywhere other than crossed off the invite list to future parties. So why not make your own piss party? You don’t need a big backyard—I mean, presumably your place has a tub. Supplement your tub with a couple of kiddie pools on top of some plastic tarp laid down on the living room or basement floor. Ask your guests to keep it in the tub, pool, or on the tarp. You get to choose the guys, you get to select the music, and, as host, you can lay down the law about making jokes and horning in on the action: Both are forbidden, and joke-telling horner-inners will be asked to pull up their pants and leave. One last thought: If you have it in you to invest some time in getting to know this guy—if you treat him like a human being— you might be able to draw him out on something that clearly frustrates him: guys who say they’re coming to the party but don’t show. If he seems genuinely baffled, PEE, that’s your opening to ask if he’d like some constructive feedback. If he says yes, you can very gently run through your list of ways to improve his parties: no jokes, better music, and a “no horning in” rule for all (not just for him). * Yes, I know: There were canopies at the party, not canapés—tents, not hors d’oeuvres. But I read it as canapés at first, and the mental image of piss players daintily eating canapés between scenes was so much more entertaining than the mental image of piss players huddling under canopies that I stuck with my original reading. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter ITMFA.org

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (March 21-April 19): The Aries poet Anna Kamieńska described the process of writing as akin to “the backbreaking work of hacking a footpath, as in a coal mine; in total darkness, beneath the earth.” Whether or not you’re a writer, I’m guessing that your life might have felt like that recently. Your progress has been slow and the mood has been dense and the light has been dim. That’s the tough news. The good news is that I suspect you will soon be blessed with flashes of illumination and a semi-divine intervention or two. After that, your work will proceed with more ease. The mood will be softer and brighter. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Do you know what you are worth? Have you compiled a realistic assessment of your talents, powers, and capacities? Not what your friends and enemies think you’re worth, nor the authority figures you deal with, nor the bad listeners who act like they’ve figured out the game of life. When I ask you if you have an objective understanding of your real value, Taurus, I’m not referring to what your illusions or fears or wishes might tell you. I’m talking about an honest, accurate appraisal of the gifts you have to offer the world. If you do indeed possess this insight, hallelujah and congratulations! If you don’t, the coming weeks will be an excellent time to work on getting it.

poet Paul Valéry. I think the same can be said about many other kinds of work. We may wish we could continue tinkering and refining forever so as to bring a beloved project to a state of absolute perfection. But what’s more likely is that it will always fall at least a bit short of that ideal. It will never be totally polished and complete to our satisfaction. And we’ve got to accept that. I suggest you meditate on these ideas in the coming weeks, Cancerian. Paradoxically, they may help you be content with how you finish up the current phase of your beloved project. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I highly recommend that you spend the next three weeks hanging out on a beach every day, dividing your time between playing games with friends, sipping cool drinks, reading books you’ve always wanted to read, and floating dreamily in warm water. To indulge in this relaxing extravaganza would be in maximum alignment with the current cosmic rhythms. If you can’t manage such a luxurious break from routine, please at least give yourself the gift of some other form of recreation that will renew and refresh you all the way down to the core of your destiny.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Now is a favorable time to worship at the shrine of your own intuition. It’s a ripe moment to boost your faith in your intuition’s wild and holy powers. To an extraordinary degree, you can harness this alternate mode of intelligence to gather insights that are beyond the power of your rational mind to access by itself. So be bold about calling on your gut wisdom, Gemini. Use it to track down the tricky, elusive truths that have previously been unavailable to you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Contemporaries of the ancient Greek philosopher Pythagoras told colorful stories about the man. Some believed he was the son of a god and that one of his thighs was made of gold. When he crossed the Casas River, numerous witnesses testified that the river called out his name and welcomed him. Once a snake bit him, but he suffered no injury, and killed the snake by biting it in return. On another occasion, Pythagoras supposedly coaxed a dangerous bear to stop committing violent acts. These are the kinds of legends I expect you to spread about yourself in the coming days, Virgo. It’s time to boost your reputation to a higher level.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “A poem is never finished; it is only abandoned,” wrote poet W. H. Auden, paraphrasing

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): My counsel may seem extreme, but I really think you should avoid mildness and meekness

and modesty. For the immediate future, you have a mandate to roar and cavort and exult. It’s your sacred duty to be daring and experimental and exploratory. The cosmos and I want to enjoy the show as you act like you have the right to express your soul’s code with brazen confidence and unabashed freedom. The cosmos and I want to squeal with joy as you reveal raw truths in the most emotionally intelligent ways possible. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): French novelist Honoré Balzac periodically endured intense outbreaks of creativity. “Sometimes it seems that my brain is on fire,” he testified after a 26-day spell when he never left his writing room. I’m not predicting anything quite as manic as that for you, Scorpio. But I do suspect you will soon be blessed (and maybe a tiny bit cursed) by a prolonged bout of fervent inspiration. To ensure that you make the best use of this challenging gift, get clear about how you want it to work for you. Don’t let it boss you. Be its boss. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Ancient civilizations waged war constantly. From Mesopotamia to China to Africa, groups of people rarely went very long without fighting other groups of people. There was one exception: the Harappan culture that thrived for about 2,000 years in the Indus River Valley, which in the present day stretches through Afghanistan, Pakistan, and India. Archaeologists have found little evidence of warfare there. Signs of mass destruction and heavy armaments are non-existent. Art from that era and area does not depict military conflict. One conclusion we might be tempted to draw from this data is that human beings are not inherently combative and violent. In any case, I want to use the Harappan civilization’s extended time of peace as a metaphor for your life in the next eight weeks. I believe (and hope!) you’re entering into a phase of very low conflict.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Every human being I’ve ever known, me included, has to wage a continuous struggle between these pairs of opposites: 1. bad habits that waste their vitality and good habits that harness their vitality; 2. demoralizing addictions that keep them enslaved to the past and invigorating addictions that inspire them to create their best possible future. How’s your own struggle going? I suspect you’re in the midst of a turning point. Here’s a tip that could prove useful: Feeding the good habits and invigorating addictions may cause the bad habits and demoralizing addictions to lose some of their power over you. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Some books seem like a key to unfamiliar rooms in one’s own castle,” said author Franz Kafka. I suspect this idea will be especially relevant to you in the coming weeks, Aquarius. And more than that: In addition to books, other influences may also serve as keys to unfamiliar rooms in your inner castle. Certain people, for instance, may do and say things that give you access to secrets you’ve been keeping from yourself. A new song or natural wonderland may open doors to understandings that will transform your relationship with yourself. To prep you for these epiphanies, I’ll ask you to imagine having a dream at night in which you’re wandering through a house you know very well. But this time, you discover there’s a whole new wing of the place that you never knew existed. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Just for now, let’s say it’s fine to fuel yourself with comfort food and sweet diversions. Let’s proceed on the hypothesis that the guardians of your future want you to treat yourself like a beloved animal who needs extra love and attention. So go right ahead and spend a whole day (or two) in bed reading and ruminating and listening to soul-beguiling music. Take a tour through your favorite memories. Move extra slowly. Do whatever makes you feel most stable and secure. Imagine you’re like a battery in the process of getting recharged.

JONESIN’ CROSSWORD by Matt Jones

“THE CURLY SHUFFLE”--IT’S STYLIN’ IN EACH THEME ANSWER. ACROSS

1 Collaborative website 5 Not as many 10 Sign-___ (farewells) 14 Like fine whiskeys 15 Up and about 16 Sci-fi royal 17 Naomi Campbell or Cindy Crawford, e.g. 19 It might be hammered out 20 Chips go-with 21 Tooth material 23 Article from France 24 Channel with “Wheel of Fortune” repeats 27 “Respect for Acting” author Hagen 28 Primus frontman Claypool 31 Chute opening? 33 It’s a real grind at dinner? 36 Finnish Olympic runner Nurmi 38 Wireless company named after a Finnish city 39 Top of the corporate ladder 44 Practiced 45 Swashbuckler who left his initial as a mark 46 Place to extract some chalcopyrite 49 Business reps. 53 Start of many Quebec place names 54 Opposite of old, in German 55 Pasture mom 57 British isle that sounds like a number

58 Ending of many nonprofit URLs 61 Old voting machine part 63 Box office event 65 2001 Nintendo video game with a really thin premise? 68 Dot on a state map 69 Mushroom in miso soup 70 Holed, as a putt 71 Lion lairs 72 Star-___ mole 73 “___ quam videri” (North Carolina’s motto)

50 CURRENT • May 23-29, 2018 • sacurrent.com

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1 “Hey, how’s it going?” 2 Pet lizard 3 Astronomer Johannes 4 March middle 5 Direct relatives, slangily 6 “Mr. Blue Sky” band 7 Expansive 8 Balance 9 Be sympathetic 10 “Ye ___ Shoppe” 11 Prefer 12 Ominous sight in shark

Answer on page 19. movies 13 Took to the couch 18 Dusting item 22 “Silas ___” (George Eliot novel) 25 Email that gets filtered 26 Cal ___ Resort & Casino (Lake Tahoe property once coowned by Frank Sinatra) 29 Tiger Woods’s ex Nordegren 30 Bed frame piece 32 “Not ___ out of you!” 34 Guy with an eponymous scheme 35 Jason who plays Aquaman 37 Impassioned 39 Lines at the checkout? 40 Scheme 41 “Quiet!” 42 Top quality 43 Sprung up 47 Come back after renovation 48 Nissan SUV named for a suburb of Venice 50 “Z” director Costa-___ 51 Advertising promos of sorts 52 Minigolf motion 56 State tree of North Dakota 59 Possesses 60 Mailing centers, for short 62 Facilitate 63 Pt. of PST 64 Long-handled farm tool 66 Make do, with “out” 67 Relieve

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