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Scene November 6, 2019

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State and local ofďŹ cials in Ohio provided millions of dollars in subsidies to Amazon for jobs that would have come here anyway by Lee Chilcote


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Why are Ohio state and local leaders giving Amazon tax breaks?

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UPFRONT MEDICAL MART, STILL AN ABJECT FAILURE, SEARCHES FOR NEW SOUL Photo by Erik Drost, FlickrCC

THE GLOBAL CENTER FOR Vacancies and Taxpayer-Funded Boondoggles (a facility more commonly referred to as the Global Center for Au Bon Pain) is in transition again. Or still, it would be more accurate to say. Cuyahoga County, which built the fucking thing as part of the $465 million convention center project, announced today that BioEnterprise, the nonprofit business incubator and accelerator headquartered in University Circle which took over strategy, marketing, programming and tenant engagement activities at the county-funded building two years ago, will cease all that. BioEnterprise confirmed the news but, in comments to Cleveland. com, declined to go into specifics on why the arrangement ended. While the company did point to an uptick in activity at the space since 2017 — there were simply more people working there, including some of its own employees — it will nonetheless follow HIMSS and others in vacating the vacancyplagued building. (BioEnterprise occupied 10,000 square feet; HIMSS, which announced it was pulling out this summer, was the center’s largest tenant with more than 20,000-square-feet of space.) Cuyahoga County executive Armond Budish, who surely wishes he didn’t have to deal with the albatross left behind by former county leaders, lied in a statement and called the Global Center a “unique community asset.” Built on the pipe dream of creating a world-class showcase mall for medical equipment and technologies, the building is an annual money pit with no functional identity that now mostly houses proms, assorted meetings, and the hungry masses who desire Au Bon Pain. “As we increase occupancy, we will move in the direction of making money,” BioEnterprise CEO Aram Nerpouni told the Plain Dealer last year. “Ultimately, if you wanted to build a financially selfsustaining office building, it would look different than the Global Center looks.”

Cuyahoga County taxpayers won’t fully pay off the center’s massive construction costs until 2027. “Desperate cities do desperate things,” Heywood Sanders, a professor at the University of Texas at San Antonio, told the Chicago Tribune last year regarding Cuyahoga County’s decision to build the MedMart. “It didn’t make sense then, and it doesn’t seem to make sense now.” The shift comes as some civic and city leaders eye City Block, originally conceived as a tech hub built around blockchain startups but at this juncture basically a fancy mall with some office space, as another economic driver for the city. What in the ever-loving Chipotle Turkey and Avocado do they plan to pivot to next? The Cuyahoga County Convention Facilities Development Corporation, which controls operations at the Global Center, today noted, “Cleveland lags far behind competitors in the availability of meeting room and adaptable space in relation to exhibit hall space, and that additional space would help attract more city-wide conventions to

Cleveland,” according to Cleveland. com. Tenants may come. Tenants may go. But empty space … empty space can’t leave you. Consider it a pivot to vacancy. Or into it, at least. As the great Michael Scott once said, “Well, my weaknesses are actually strengths.” — Vince Grzegorek

Do Not Let Cleveland.com Continue to Distort Q Deal Narrative The Sept. 26 episode of This Week in the CLE, Cleveland.com’s weekly news and analysis podcast, featured a segment with reporter Marc Bona about the renovations at what is now known as Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse. Bona’s conversation with editor Chris Quinn and podcast co-host Laura Johnston is effervescent with the same sort of dishonesty that typified Cleveland.com’s coverage of the Q Deal debacle from start to finish. Bona, who writes foremost about beer, need not be held to quite the same standards as Quinn. He did not report on the deal or its aftermath through 2017 and

appeared on the podcast mainly to promote the arena’s physical and technological enhancements on the occasion of its then-pending open house. But the distortion of history was nevertheless profound, and requires correction. The early part of the conversation was captivating in the respect that Bona and Quinn had so thoroughly ingested the Cavs’ talking points that they spoke, in my view, in absurd hyperbole. They described the Q before the renovations as a uniquely awful and congested venue, a “claustrophobic” “nightmare.” (My own experience, having attended many Cavs games, was that the Q was congested in pretty much the same way that other professional arenas are congested, with identical dynamics related to player and game quality; i.e., the Q was much more crowded when LeBron was on the team.) Echoing Cavs’ CEO Len Komoroski, Bona and Quinn described with special distaste how they had been forced to eat meals at the arena huddled over trash cans, an experience they described as universal. “We have all,” stressed Bona, “including Len Komoroski, because | clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

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Photo by Sam Allard

UPFRONT this was his pet peeve, we were told — we have all had meals and drinks huddled over a garbage can.” Have we, though? This has been a Cavs talking point since early 2017, and it always struck a false note with me. Maybe my standards are just very low, but I think what I do is grab a beer and a hot dog and then scamper right back to my seat. This is more or less how I assumed most people bought and consumed refreshments during games. Are lots of people honestly hanging out in the concourse eating full meals? Are they doing so huddled like hobos over trash cans? Maybe they are! But all that’s beside the point. The real dishonesty arrived when Johnston asked Bona if he thought the renovations were “worth $185 million.” Bona: There has been a lot of talk about the money on this, but in fairness to the Cavs … I think it is very difficult for one entity privately to fund the bill for something like this. And I think that people can

get outraged when it’s coming solely from public dollars. This was a public-private marriage in a lot of ways, but not in all ways. For one thing, another change in the arena, you’re going to see a lot of art. You’re going to see paintings, portraits, multimedia sculptures and statues. One hundred percent of every piece of art, the funding for that art, is coming directly from the pockets of Dan and Jennifer Gilbert. I really want to make a point of saying that now, so we don’t get just absolutely slammed with, ‘I can’t believe my tax dollars went for this.’ Well they didn’t, so don’t worry about it. Quinn: Well, you know, there was the controversy about this project. Back when it was happening, we were in the middle of an election season, which just exacerbated the politics. There was a big movement to get it on the ballot to stop it that ultimately fizzled. And one of the reasons it did is because the Cavs, accurately, were able to show people that there’s no better deal on an arena in this country for the taxpayer than this. You can argue whether or not you like any public funding, but as these deals go, Cleveland has a better one than anybody else. The odd thing is, as fiery as it all was back then, you haven’t seen that this time. You

haven’t seen anybody stepping up to protest it, you haven’t seen the anger. You haven’t even seen people reviving the argument from back then. Are people just looking to see this place, because it is ‘the living room’? Bona: I think so. We’ve got the open house coming up and I think people do want to see it. I think you’re right, Chris. Things have really dissipated in terms of the public criticism. I almost hesitate to use the word ‘outrage.’ I think it was strong but not overly strong. Regarding Bona’s opening salvo, entities come in a vast array of sizes. It is not difficult for “a

single entity” to privately fund a renovation of this magnitude when the entity in question is the multibillion-dollar professional sports franchise that operates the facility to be renovated. The fact that Dan and Jennifer Gilbert allegedly personally paid for the artwork at the facility is irrelevant, and should not be touted as a measure of their generosity. It strategically distracts from the swindle. The opposition to the deal was the largest, most well-organized and most energetic challenge to established power in Northeast

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Ohio in recent history. It did the opposite of “fizzle.” It won, when the Supreme Court of Ohio sided with referendum seekers in their quest to put the city’s legislation authorizing funding for the project on the ballot. The Cavs then declared the deal dead. The opposition was then sabotaged. Some of the most powerful figures in the county, including U.S. Congresswoman Marcia Fudge, exerted their influence to resuscitate the deal. The GCC, the largest opposition group, became party to the same sort of back-room dealing they had been decrying. GCC unilaterally withdrew the petitions seeking referendum. The quashing of the opposition had precisely zero to do with the Cavs talking points. The Cavs certainly weren’t able to show those who opposed the deal that “there’s no better deal on an arena in this country for the taxpayer than this.” (If one were so inclined, one could reference the story on Quinn’s own website which lists the arenas financed entirely by private dollars,

DIGIT WIDGET 45 Maximum capacity at a St. Malachi shelter run by the Metanoia Project, per a fire department inspection. On average, nearly 110 people have been sleeping there. On cold nights, the numbers reach 150.

21 Specific policy proposals, bold plans or solutions dreamed up by roughly 600 attendees at last week’s Cleveland Rising Summit.

133,000 Number of uninsured children in Ohio, according to the Georgetown University Center for Children and Families. That’s 4.8 percent of all kids in the state, and a 28 percent increase since 2016.

300 Total enrollment at Collinwood High School, roughly one-tenth of its capacity. The CMSD board debated

by definition “better deals” for the public than the Q’s.) Setting to the side Quinn’s acceptance of the premise that the costly renovations were necessary because the Cavs said so — the arena had to “stay competitive in the short-term years ahead” — does he still believe that Komoroski & Co. were good-faith negotiators? One trembles at the notion of the editor of Cleveland’s largest media outlet referring to the Cavs’ characterization of the deal as “accurate.” The negotiations themselves were awash in so much glaring deceit that it’s a wonder Komoroski can be taken seriously when he stands before a Cleveland Planning Commission design-review panel, as he did last week, and talks about how JACK Casino’s proposed new skywalk will “serve as a spark to revitalize Ontario Avenue.” We should all know by now that Komoroski speaks in the standard Orwellian fashion, in which everything he says means the opposite. Bona’s hesitation to use the word “outrage” is surely a function of his sources, but the opposition was indeed overly strong. And those who earnestly opposed the deal are still incensed about it. It will remain a hot-button issue, and a very dark mark on legislators’ resumes, for years to come. And for the record, it will remain the clearest and ugliest example of the “business as usual” that new Cleveland reformers, of the sort who attended last week’s Cleveland Rising Summit, will ostensibly try to disrupt (if indeed they intend to be portrayed as caring about equity). Quinn’s observation that people aren’t “stepping up” to protest the renovated arena or reviving the old arguments is asinine. The opposition was sabotaged and the renovations happened. The money was spent. The damage was done. Many of the tireless activists who gathered signatures for the Q referendum went on to organize around lead and forced the city to act after decades of apathy. Others are now organizing to stop the inhumanity at the Cuyahoga County Jail. The trick now is not protesting the arena, but demonstrating why and how the deal happened, to try like hell to prevent it from happening again.

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whether or not to close Collinwood High and merge it with Glenville at a retreat last week.

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FEATURE PRIME SHAKEDOWN State and local officials in Ohio provided millions of dollars in subsidies to Amazon for jobs that would have come here anyway Lee Chilcote Photo from FlickrCC

ON A RECENT WEDNESDAY morning, as Alexa played a pipedin stringed version of U2’s “All I Want is You” in front of a display of Amazon shipping boxes, several dozen Northeast Ohio leaders gathered to celebrate the official opening of Amazon’s new 855,000-square-foot fulfillment center in North Randall. The ebullient politicians praised Amazon for creating more than 2,000 $15-per-hour jobs at the former Randall Park Mall, a moribund site that sat crumbling from 2009 to 2014 before it was demolished and then developed into an Amazon warehouse last year. They also praised Amazon for opening two more warehouses in Northeast Ohio, one in Euclid on the site of the former Euclid Square Mall that will employ 1,000-plus people, and one in Akron on the former Rolling Acres Mall site that will employ 1,500-plus people.

Congresswoman Marcia Fudge’s comments summed up the mood of the assembled crowd, which later toured the massive warehouse and got a firsthand look at Amazon’s robotics technology. “We have to ask ourselves, what is the cost to not have 2,200 jobs? To have an empty mall site?” she asked. “Amazon is making an investment in our community, and it’s a pleasure to be doing good things. I just came from Washington, so it’s refreshing to be here with you all.” Those job numbers are touted as the defense and explanation for the extravagant public subsidies the state and local cities have handed out to the company owned by the richest man in the world. Literally, as Fudge said, “What is the cost to not [have them]?” This year, the Ohio Development Services Agency awarded Amazon state tax credits worth $7.8 million over 10 years for the North Randall

facility, $3.9 million over 10 years for the Euclid facility, and $7.1 million over 10 years for the planned Akron facility. Amazon also received $8.5 million in grants from Jobs Ohio. Finally, the company received 75-percent local property tax abatement in North Randall, and 15-year, 100-percent tax abatement in Euclid. The answer to Fudge’s question, many critics argue, is that there would be no cost, and no question, because Amazon would have located the jobs here anyway, without subsidies, in order to fulfill its objective of offering one-day shipping to Prime customers. “The thing worth focusing on here is: Why is Amazon receiving tax breaks at all?” says Zach Schiller, research director at Policy Matters Ohio. “If you want to provide next day delivery or maybe even sooner than that, you can’t do that from warehouses located hours and

hours away. For Ohio to provide a penny of tax breaks for them is a penny ill-spent, because these facilities have to be located in Ohio … the state of Ohio should not just be subsidizing any company that comes in and asks for a tax break. We have limited resources, an opioid crisis, and public education that is insufficiently funded, so we can’t provide for those if we give away all our money through tax breaks.” Edward “Ned” Hill, a professor of economics at the Ohio State University who spent decades in Northeast Ohio while teaching at the Levin College of Urban Affairs at Cleveland State University, says that the tax subsidies for Amazon are questionable because it’s not clear that the jobs were ever truly at risk. “Amazon did a good job of saying, ‘If you don’t give us subsidy to put the pack and ship centers here, we’ll go somewhere else,’” he says, adding that Amazon has extracted over $1 | clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

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FEATURE billion in tax breaks from states across the country. “But if you look at the centers, they’re in densely populated areas, and they would have gone there anyway,” he says. “Amazon did a superb PR job of shaking down the states, and Ohio was one of many.”

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Public subsidies Almost overnight, Amazon has become one of Ohio’s largest employers, now ranking 25th in the state with more than 11,500 employees. (The company’s ranking will only grow once the Euclid and Akron fulfillment centers are fully up and running). Given that the company pays $15 per hour (up from an average of $13.28 one year ago, and significantly above the state minimum wage of $8.55) and is investing millions of dollars into vacant properties in distressed areas, it’s not a stretch to say these jobs will help our economy. (The irony that the Seattle-based online giant played a role in the death of those malls it is now occupying is not lost on many.) Nonetheless, the prime reason (pardon the pun) Amazon built its warehouses in Northeast Ohio was so that it could offer one-day shipping to Prime customers. Until recently, the company offered twoday Prime shipping to its customers in Ohio by sending packages from warehouses in other states. However, in April 2019, Amazon announced that it was making oneday shipping the standard for all Prime customers, and the company was expected to spend $800 billion during the second quarter to improve its warehouses and delivery infrastructure. The company is building its new fulfillment centers in Northeast Ohio as part of a nationwide push. For its part, Amazon says it was simply taking advantage of tax incentive programs that are already being offered by the state of Ohio. Spokesperson Andre Woodson said in an emailed statement, “Incentives are taken into account when evaluating the total cost of operations, but the majority of incentives we pursue for fulfillment centers are statutory — they are available ‘as of right’ to companies that qualify, and are based on performance metrics (i.e. job creation).” Yet, according to Schiller, “Ohio’s job creation tax credit has what’s called a ‘but for’ requirement, which

means that it’s only supposed to be provided when ‘but for’ this it would go out of state. They’re required to explain what other states they’ve been trying to get help from or they might go to, because the state of Ohio should not just be subsidizing any company that comes in and asks for a tax break.” Matt Englehart, a spokesperson for Jobs Ohio, disputes the notion that the Amazon jobs were not competitive, saying that the tax incentives were necessary in order to attract them. “We needed to remain competitive with other states,” he says. “We’re bringing jobs to communities where they’re needed.” However, Englehart did not address Schiller’s criticism that Amazon would have located here anyway, because it needed to be in Ohio to offer one-day Prime shipping. According to Hill, the relationship between the state and Amazon goes back to the Kasich administration, which gave the company a massive $77 million tax break for locating its data centers in central Ohio and creating about 1,000 jobs. While the data center jobs could have gone elsewhere, Hill says that Amazon’s “preexisting relationship” with the state helped them win even more incentives. “In effect, they’re providing subsidies to Amazon which are giving them an advantage over retail jobs, which is blatantly against free market principles,” he says. As for local tax abatement, Hill also debates whether that’s justified. Amazon selected the malls for their square footage and proximity to population centers and highways, which make them unique sites that are hard to replicate. Yet the cities of Euclid and North Randall wanted Amazon badly. “It’s traditional footloose economic development politics at work,” Hill says. “The cities are dying to see something happen on these sites — not only is it job creation and a nice ribbon cutting for the mayor, but they can get rid of a piece of albatross real estate. They don’t know if the company is lying about going somewhere else or not, but they’d rather not take the chance.” North Randall mayor Dave Smith did not return a phone call seeking comment. Jonathan Holody, director of planning and development for the city of Euclid, said in an email that Amazon took advantage of the city’s longstanding tax abatement policy: “The new facility is located in an existing CRA (Community Reinvestment Act) area that provides 100% abatement on new property taxes for 15 years for new


construction, so Amazon received that benefit.” Holody also says while 15-year, 100-percent tax abatement may seem like a lot, Amazon workers will also pay income taxes that are shared by the city and the schools. “Right off the bat, the project eliminated a major blight in our community,” he says. “It was a very visible sign of reinvestment in the community by Amazon. In addition, the direct benefit is the income taxes that the city and schools receive from Amazon. It’s a huge boost to local governments.” He adds that Amazon is attracting new development, citing the fact that this eastside suburb is experiencing the highest levels of commercial permit activity in recent years. “It helps raise attention and put our city on the radar for other people looking for a place to locate their businesses,” he says. “Amazon’s business is logistics — for them to choose Euclid reinforces what we’re saying, that it’s a great location, it’s centrally located, with proximity to regional workforce and great access to region’s freeway infrastructure and public transportation.” Although Euclid’s tax abatement policy has been in place for decades, Holody believes it may be time to give

it another look. “With improvements in the industrial corridor, with the changing market and increased interest, it might make sense for Euclid to look at whether or not abatement is appropriate, or still needed to continue to induce development,” he says. “But other cities are being aggressive with incentives, and it’s also possible that abatement is still necessary.” Amazon touts its local school partnerships — at the PR event, the company presented a $20,000 check to the Warrensville Heights schools for STEM education — yet commercial tax abatement can cost school districts much-needed revenue. Euclid Schools are asking voters to approve an 8.7 mill, 10year emergency operating levy on the Nov. 5 ballot, an expansive levy that follows sweeping cuts that were made after a similar levy campaign failed last year. According to the schools’ website, “As a result of the property tax abatement [for the Amazon fulfillment center], the district will not receive approximately $1,265,000 in property taxes annually for the next 15 years.” However, Euclid is one of the few cities in Northeast Ohio that shares income tax revenue with its schools, and the district will

receive about $435,000 per year as a result. Both the Euclid and Warrensville Heights schools have struggled on state report cards for many years, though Warrensville saw improvements on the most recent state report card. Euclid earned a D on the report card, with a performance index of 63.856, while the Warrensville Heights schools raised their performance from an F to a C with a performance index of 67.871. Good jobs In response to nationwide public pressure, Amazon has taken steps toward creating good jobs that lift its workers out of poverty and offer them opportunities for advancement. Last year, the company raised wages for warehouse workers to $15 an hour, or $31,200 per year for full-time workers. This was due in part to the Fight for $15, a political movement advocating for the federal minimum wage to be raised to $15 per hour. Previously, the average worker earned $13.68 per hour or $28,454 per year. Amazon also says that 90 percent of its warehouse workers are full-time employees who receive health care, 20-week paid parental leave, and pre-payment of

tuition for courses in high-demand fields. Yet critics say that Amazon can and should do more to create highquality jobs that allow its workers to support themselves and their families. Schiller points to a 2017 Policy Matters report showing that of 6,000 Amazon workers in Ohio, at least 1,430 were getting assistance under the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP), according to the Ohio Department of Job and Family Services (unfortunately, more recent data is not available). Although this was before the wage hike, Schiller says that the number receiving food aid is still likely unacceptably high. “As much as it’s a positive thing that they’ve increased their minimum to $15 per hour, for that to become a sort of paragon of what the future of employment is, that is for me a pretty forbidding and negative development,” he says. “While these are better than some jobs, I still would not consider them good jobs, and that’s what’s wrong with what they’re saying.” “For me, it’s an unacceptable state of affairs when the richest man in the world is paying levels that are more than what you need to apply for food assistance, but not by a

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FEATURE whole lot,â€? he adds. For its part, Amazon says that previously reported ďŹ gures on SNAP eligibility can be misleading because they include people who only worked for Amazon for a short period of time or chose to work part-time. “SNAP eligibility is mostly determined by household size and not hourly wage,â€? said Woodson. “We encourage anyone to compare our median pay and beneďŹ ts to other retailers and major employers. All Amazon employees — full-time, part-time, temporary and seasonal — effective Nov. 1, 2018, receive a $15 per hour minimum wage. SpeciďŹ cally, hourly associates working in our North Randall fulďŹ llment center make between $16.50 to $17.95 an hour — plus opportunities for overtime, which pays time-and-a-half and other monetary beneďŹ ts. This compensation is in addition to our beneďŹ ts package which includes comprehensive health, vision and dental insurance, a 401(k) with a 50-percent match, generous parental leave, and training for in-demand

jobs through our Career Choice program for all full-time employees working in fulďŹ llment centers across the U.S.â€? “We have hundreds of full-time roles available; however, some prefer part-time for the exibility or other personal reasons,â€? he added. In recent years, dozens of news stories in national publications like the New York Times, Newsweek and Time Magazine have reported on the alarming working conditions at Amazon warehouses. These stories have cited British workers urinating in trash cans because they didn’t have time for bathroom breaks, workers in Stoughton, Massachusetts forced to work on Thanksgiving, and a Columbus worker who had a heart attack and did not receive medical attention for 20 minutes. He died, and Amazon later claimed it was a “personal medical issue.â€? Some news reports have also questioned the high number of EMS calls at Amazon facilities. In 2017, a reporter for Bloomberg who examined 911 calls at a facility in Licking County east of Columbus found that EMS workers were making at least once-daily runs to the Amazon facility in Etna, about 3.1 miles away, and that their

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resources were “under strainâ€? as a result. In March 2019, a Daily Beast article, “Colony of Hell: 911 Calls from Inside Amazon Warehouses,â€? reported on an apparent rash of suicide attempts at 46 Amazon warehouses in 17 states: “Amazon, founded by the now-richest man in the world, has long faced criticism about working conditions at its warehouses: the high-pressure pace, the stultifying boredom, the timed bathroom breaks, and the digital surveillance that monitors performance ‌ The 911 calls and police reports collected through open-record requests are not evidence that Amazon staffers experience suicidal episodes more often than other American workers, in or out of a warehouse — but they do offer a visceral, real-time glimpse of employees on the edge.â€? A log of 911 calls received from the North Randall police department after Policy Matters placed a public records request reveals that there were 233 EMS requests at the North Randall facility between Sept. 8, 2018, and July 30, 2019. That amounts to more than two every three days in the ďŹ rst 11 months of Amazon’s operations. The calls were for medical issues including chest

pain, shortness of breath, dizziness, foot and hand injuries, and high blood pressure. There were also a number of seizures, heart attacks and strokes. Additionally, during this period, there were 10 suicide attempts. While nothing conclusive can be drawn from this data, it provides a glimpse of the sometimes harsh and harrowing reality of working in an Amazon warehouse. Woodson didn’t respond speciďŹ cally to questions about the high volume of EMS calls, but said the company is committed to safety: “The physical and mental well-being of our associates is our top priority, and we are proud of both our efforts and overall success in this area. We provide comprehensive medical care starting on day one, 24-hour-a-day free and conďŹ dential services, and various leave accommodation options covering both mental and physical health concerns.â€? Woodson also said that Amazon invests heavily in safety training, inspections and ergonomic assessments, and that associates are encouraged to report safety concerns and suggestions. Further, he addressed the concerns about working conditions by saying that Amazon’s policy is that employees don’t work more than 3.5 hours

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| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

without a designated break off of the oor. The standard shift for fulďŹ llment center employees is four days on, three days off. The shifts are 10-hour shifts with either two thirty-minute breaks, or two 15-minute breaks and a third 30-minute break. Employees are able to take short, paid breaks any time throughout their shift. The North Randall fulďŹ llment center takes two 30-minute breaks per shift. Amazon’s warehouses around the country have taken heat for their safety issues. A recent report from the New York Committee for Occupational Safety and Health (NYCOSH) found that the injury rate at the 2,000-worker Staten Island warehouse is nearly three times the national average for warehouse workers. The Columbus incident in which a worker did not receive medical attention for 20 minutes after suffering a heart attack was among a series of accidents and fatalities that have led to Amazon’s inclusion on the National Council for Occupational Safety and Health’s 2019 Dirty Dozen list of the most dangerous employers in the United States. Bright spots One upside to Amazon’s growth in Northeast Ohio is that wages may go up in the distribution sector, Hill says. He cites the fact that wages for warehouse jobs in Central Ohio went up after Amazon opened its fulďŹ llment centers there, as other companies tried to compete in a tight labor market. Amazon’s entry-level $15 per hour jobs with beneďŹ ts are good opportunities for lower-skill workers, he says. “The question becomes, good jobs for who?â€? Hill says, arguing that while Amazon may experience a lot of attrition among new hires, those who succeed may ďŹ nd opportunities there. Furthermore, he prefers to let the private market sort out which jobs are good jobs. “There’s nothing worse than a highly paid tenured professor telling you your job sucks,â€? he quips. However, a 2018 report by the Economic Policy Institute found that “when Amazon opens a new fulďŹ llment center, the host county gains roughly 30 percent more warehousing and storage jobs but no new net jobs overall, as the jobs created in warehousing and storage are likely offset by job losses in other industries.â€?

Another upside is that Amazon’s Northeast Ohio warehouses are also located on bus routes, which makes them accessible to people who don’t have cars, Hill says. And of course, given Amazon’s investments in training and education for its workers, some of them could end up getting better-paid, more highly skilled positions in the future. Amazon will continue to move up the food chain of Ohio employers, yet Hill doesn’t expect the company to add net jobs to the state’s economy. “They’re swapping with retail jobs,â€? he says, indicating that as Amazon continues to grow, traditional brick and mortar retail will decline. “They might be somewhat higher wage and more may be full-time, but they’re not really that different.â€? It’s also likely that sometime in the not-too-distant future there will be fewer, higher-skill jobs and more robots at the warehouses. “The average wage will go up, but you’ll have a very different kind of employee,â€? he says. Schiller says that the $15 per hour jobs that Amazon is bringing to Northeast Ohio still only allow working families to barely scrape by. While Amazon jobs pay about 150 percent of the federal poverty level, a single-parent household of three really needs to earn about 200 percent. The fact that local and state politicians are cheering Amazon’s arrival points to the lackluster economy. “We have poverty greater than it was 10 years after this longestever recoveryâ€? despite a near fullemployment economy, says Schiller, citing recent Census data. Boyd McCamish, organizing director for the Central Region of Workers United, says elected leaders need to stop congratulating themselves and begin to grapple with what Amazon really means for the state’s economy, where inationadjusted wages are lower than they were in 1979, according to Policy Matters. “Lots of people in the statehouse like to pat themselves on the back about how much Amazon or the distribution business generally is bringing to Ohio ‌ but the giveaways, ostensibly because they pay $15 an hour and offer beneďŹ ts, just tell you what kind of a grip Amazon has on our economy,â€? he says. “Until we can get companies like Amazon and Walmart to play by any rules but their own, things are going to continue to deteriorate.â€?

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| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

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GET OUT everything you should do this week Photo by Felicia Michaels

Comedian Erica Rhodes comes to Hilarities. See: Wednesday.

WED

11/06

THEATER

The Band’s Visit This critically acclaimed Broadway smash-hit musical won 10 Tony Awards, including Best Musical. It also nabbed a Grammy for Best Musical Theater Album. The play “rejoices in the way music makes us laugh, makes us cry, and ultimately, brings us together.” Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 at Connor Palace. Tickets start at $10, and the show runs through Nov. 24. (Jeff Niesel) 1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org. MUSIC

Chamber Music in the Galleries This monthly concert series at the Cleveland Museum of Art places young musicians from the Cleveland Institute of Music and Case Western Reserve University in the CMA galleries, for “a unique and intimate experience.” The performances often feature instruments from

the museum’s keyboard collection. Tonight’s concert begins at 6 and lasts for about an hour. Admission is free. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org. SPOKEN WORD

Cleveland Stories Dinner Parties Cleveland Stories Dinner Party is a weekly series that pairs fine food with storytelling. Through it, the folks at Music Box Supper Club hope to raise awareness of the mission of the Western Reserve Historical Society’s Cleveland History Center. The goal of the Cleveland Stories Dinner Party is to “bring to life some of the fun, interesting stories about Cleveland’s past — from sports, to rock ’n’ roll, to Millionaires’ Row,” as it’s put in a press release. Admission is free, with no cover charge, although a prix fixe dinner, designed to complement the night’s theme, is $20. Tonight, Cleveland novelist Les Roberts talks about his mystery novels featuring private investigator Milan Jacovich. Doors open at 5

p.m., dinner is served at 6, and the storytelling starts at 7. (Niesel) 1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com. FILM

Cold Case Hammarskjöld In his film, Cold Case Hammarskjold, Danish filmmaker Mads Brügger investigates the mysterious 1961 airplane crash in Africa that killed Swedish diplomat Dag Hammarskjöld, then secretarygeneral of the United Nations. Ultimately, the movie affirms some of the conspiracy theories that have surrounded the tragedy for decades. It screens today at 6:30 p.m. at the Cleveland Museum of Art. Tickets cost $10, or $7 for CMA members. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org. SPOKEN WORD

Keep Talking Keep Talking is a monthly storytellers’ series that offers attendees the chance to grab a drink and a dog while listening to some

of their Cleveland neighbors tell tall tales. Tonight’s show revolves around the theme, “Coming Clean.” The hosts are Adam Richard and Zachariah Durr. The program starts at 8 p.m. sharp at the Happy Dog. The program will repeat at 5:30 p.m. on Monday at the Collinwood branch of the Cleveland Public Library. Admission to each event is free. Want to be a storyteller at a future session? See details at Facebook.com/ KeepTalkingCLE. (Niesel) 5801 Detroit Ave., 216-651-9474, happydogcleveland.com. THEATER

Merchant of Venice Tonight at 7:30 at the Helen Rosenfeld Lewis Bialosky Lab Theatre, the CWRU/CPH MFA Acting Program’s Class of 2020 presents its take on Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice, a play about money, privilege and prejudice. Tickets cost $15, and performances continue through Nov. 16. (Niesel) 1407 Euclid Ave, 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org. | clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

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GET OUT THEATER

The Music Man Tonight at 7:30 at the Hanna Theatre, Great Lakes Theater presents its version of The Music Man, the play about salesman Harold Hill and his attempts to con people into buying instruments and uniforms for a band he never intends to form. The six-time Tonywinning musical features tunes such as “Seventy-Six Trombones,” “Ya Got Trouble” and “Till There Was You.” Performances continue through Nov. 10. Tickets start at $15. (Niesel) 2067 East 14th St., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

Roll Hall of Fame by casting a vote. There will be a conversation about the induction process and plenty of time to tour the exhibits. Rock Hall educators and curators will be on hand to answer questions as well. Admission is $15, or free if you’re a Cleveland resident or a Rock Hall member. The event continues until 9

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SPOKEN WORD

Point of No Return As part of this National Geographic Live event, Hilaree Nelson recounts her 2014 trip to Burma with a National Geographic climbing team that sought to find out if Burma’s Hkakabo Razi is Southeast Asia’s highest point. Nelson recounts the decisions she made to keep the crew alive during the treacherous ascent. The talk takes place at 7:30 tonight at the Ohio Theatre. Tickets cost $25 to $45. (Niesel) 1501 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.

for the French hero. But when Napoleon declared himself emperor, Beethoven angrily re-titled it Eroica, which means “Heroic.” Tonight at 7:30 at Severance Hall, Jakub Hruša conducts the Cleveland Orchestra as it performs the piece. Performances continue through Sunday. Guest speaker Timothy Cutler of the

Northeast Ohio Resident discount is available at the Box Office by showing a valid ID with ZIP code beginning in 440, 441, 442 or 443.

COMEDY

THE GARAGE All New Jam Space

COMEDY

Erica Rhodes Comedian Erica Rhodes grew up in Newton, Massachusetts, a city known for producing comics such as Louis C.K., Jonathan Katz and B.J. Novak. She had originally planned to become an actress but, because of her “funny unique voice,” she gravitated to comedy instead. She’s had some success, too, and has performed at the Just for Laughs Festival, San Francisco Sketchfest, the Moontower Comedy Festival, the Blue Whale Comedy Festival, the Boston Comedy Festival and RIOT L.A. Fest. She headlines Hilarities at 7 tonight and Sunday night and opens for Tom Papa tomorrow, Friday and Saturday. Check the website for ticket prices. (Niesel) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.

POWER OF ROCK EXPERIENCE

Go to rockhall.com/visit and start planning your tour today. p.m. (Niesel) 1100 Rock and Roll Blvd., 216-515-8444, rockhall.com.

THU

11/07

Cleveland Institute of Music leads the pre-concert talk at 6:30 p.m. Consult the orchestra website for ticket prices and more details. (Niesel) 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.

MUSIC

Rock Hall Nights: Ballot Battle Tonight’s special Rock Hall Nights event celebrates the fact that you voice your opinion on who you want to see inducted into the Rock &

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host a free event to celebrate its current project to process over 500 previously unavailable archival collections and make them available to the public. This event includes a panel discussion featuring NEO Sound donors whose collections have been made available through the project. Panelists will include musicians such as Chris Butler (Waitresses, Tin Huey, 15-6075) and Marky Ray (terrible parade, Death on a Stick, Death of Samantha, Jim Rose Circus, New Salem Witch Hunters). The panel also includes photographer Dave Treat, who took some of the earliest images of the Dead Boys. The evening will conclude with a reception in the Library & Archives reading room, where attendees can view a new archival exhibit called Local Music U Want: Northeast Ohio Punk and New Wave. It showcases materials donated by the panelists. Admission is free, but a reservation is required. Go to the Rock Hall website for more info. (Niesel) 2809 Woodland Ave., 216-515-1956, library.rockhall.com.

MUSIC

WORDS + MUSIC

Beethoven’s Eroica Beethoven originally gave the name “Bonaparte” to the piece that became known as Eroica out of admiration

NEO Sound Panel Discussion & Exhibit Tonight at 7, the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Library and Archives will

| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

Tom Papa The funny stuff continues tonight with Tom Papa, the fun-loving guy who used to host the NBC comedy show Marriage Ref. Papa routinely likes to joke about how he misses the day when he didn’t have kids or the responsibility that accompanies them. He likes to reminisce about his young life, and notes how being a dad has him drinking more now. “Daddy is a lot more fun when he gets his magic juice inside of him,” he likes to say, as he ponders the fact that all his daughter’s drawings of him are with a martini glass. But the guy will also switch gears and talk about antidepressants and societal pressures. His talent lies in the fact that he comes off as an average Joe. He performs tonight at 7 at Hilarities, where you can catch his act through Saturday. Check the website for ticket prices. (Niesel) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com. COMEDY

Rod Paulette Ohio comedian Rod Paulette, who returns regularly to his home state to perform at the Improv, has a deep voice that seems to carry through the room as he makes fun of racial issues. Like actor/ rapper/singer Donald Glover, Paulette plays off the stereotype of being a black man who acts white,


and jokes about the struggles he’s subsequently encountered. In one bit, he talks about how West Coasters always assume he grew up on a farm because he’s from Ohio. “When’s the last time you saw a black man on a farm without a chain on his foot keeping his ass there?” he asks. “If you ever see a black man on a farm, sneak up on him, tap him on the shoulder and let him know he’s free.” Paulette performs tonight at 7:30 at the Improv. Tickets are $15. (Niesel) 1148 Main Ave., 216-696-IMPROV, clevelandimprov.com.

FRI

11/08

“leave you feeling delighted and probably slightly confused.” Tickets cost $28. (Niesel) 1501 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org. SPORTS

Monsters vs. Laval Rocket The Cleveland Monsters host the Laval Rocket today and tomorrow at Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse. Tonight, it’s a 1-2-3 Friday, so there will be $1 Pepsis, $2 Sugardale hotdogs and $3 select 12-ounce beers. There’s also a post-game skate. The puck drops at 7 both tonight and tomorrow night, and tickets for both games start at $10. (Niesel) 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

COMEDY

Arnez J Arnez J’s little brother has a developmental disability, and that gets Arnez into trouble. Like that time at Burger King when he just wanted to buy his little bro a burger — until his brother beat up a man who wanted their handicapped spot! Arnez’ humor is all over the place as he talks about the violations of colonoscopies, ladies who need to cover the glue of their weaves and the way his Uncle Charlie dances. His Rodney King skit is hilarious and his observations of the world are pretty spot-on. This one promises to be funny. He performs tonight at 7:30 and 10 at the Improv, and performances run through Sunday. Tickets cost $30. (Liz Trenholme) 1148 Main Ave., 216-696-IMPROV, clevelandimprov.com. FILM

End of the Century A film about two strangers (played by Juan Barberini and Ramón Pujol) who hook up one night in Barcelona, End of the Century tells the story of a romantic relationship in a nonlinear fashion. The debut film from director Lucio Castro, the movie has received generally positive press. It makes its local debut tonight at 9 at the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque. It screens at the Cinematheque again at 6:30 p.m. on Sunday. Tickets cost $10, or $7 for Cinematheque members and students. (Niesel) 11610 Euclid Ave., 216-421-7450, cia.edu. CABARET

Marlee Who? Take Two Tonight and tomorrow night at Kennedy’s Theatre, Marlee Carpenter presents her cabaret show. Dubbed Marlee Who? Take Two, it’ll feature jazz, jokes and tequila. A press release promises that the play will

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ART

Walkabout Tremont Walkabout Tremont, which takes place on the second Friday of every month from 5 to 10 p.m., showcases the best of this smart neighborhood, with art openings, extended hours at galleries and shops, restaurant and bar specials, street performers, live music, pop-up vendors, neighborhood walking tours and much more. This month, the theme is Light Up Your Holidays. See the event’s Facebook page for more info. (Niesel) facebook.com/WalkaboutTremont.

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DRINK

Whiskey Business This annual event sponsored by Scene features a variety of whiskeys, scotches, ryes and bourbons along with food from local restaurants and live music. Industry experts will be on hand to discuss the drinks, and the $45 advance-sale price of admission includes a commemorative taster glass, 10 drink tickets and light appetizers. (The price goes up to $50 on the day of the event.) Hours are 7 to 11 p.m. at Red Space. Find details on the website. (Niesel) 2400 Superior Ave., scenewhiskeybusiness.com.

SAT

11/09

FILM

The King A drama set in the 15th century that stars Robert Pattinson, Timothee Chalet and Lily-Rose Depp, The King takes inspiration from Shakespeare as it tells the story of a prince who ascends the English throne upon his father’s death only to encounter complete chaos and war. The movie screens at 6:50 tonight and at 8:15 tomorrow night | clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

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GET OUT at the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque. Tickets cost $11, or $8 for Cinematheque members and students. (Niesel) 11610 Euclid Ave., 216-421-7450, cia.edu. BOOKS

Laura DeMarco Presents Mark Twain’s America In her new book, Mark Twain’s America Then and Now, reporter Laura DeMarco of the Plain Dealer examines how America has changed since Twain’s time by comparing how places he visited looked back then to how they look now. The book includes a number of references to Cleveland, notably the Cleveland Herald Building and Case Hall. At 1 p.m. today at the Cleveland Public Library’s Center for Local and Global History, on the sixth oor of the Louis Stokes Wing, she’ll participate in a book signing. The author of Lost Cleveland and Cleveland Then and Now, DeMarco uses nearly 200 pictures to trace Mark Twain’s

journey through 69 locations, including Cleveland and Cincinnati. Admission to the event is free. (Niesel) 325 Superior Ave., 216-623-2800, cpl.org. FILM

The Room Thanks to The Disaster Artist, the James Franco movie about the making of the cult classic The Room, the original ďŹ lm’s popularity has soared. The ďŹ lm that features writer, director and star Tommy Wiseau screens at 10 tonight at the Cedar Lee Theatre. Tickets are $6. (Niesel) 2163 Lee Rd., Cleveland Heights, 440-528-0355, clevelandcinemas.com. DANCE

Rubberband Dance Group Earlier this week, Tri-C and DanceCleveland announced that Rubberband Dance Group would make its Ohio debut in a performance sponsored by the two local organizations. The Montrealbased dance troupe performs at 7:30 tonight at the Mimi Ohio Theatre as part of the Tri-C Performing Arts season. Founded

in 2002 by artistic director and choreographer Victor Quijada, the group is known for its innovative style. For the Ohio Theatre show, the group will perform “Vic’s Mix,� a production that “spans the immense creative territory explored by Quijada while offering both humorous and serious moments.� Tickets range from $25 to $50. The show includes moderated pre- and post-show talks with performers and producers. The pre-show chat begins at 6:45 p.m. (Niesel) 1511 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org. COMEDY

Marlon Wayans One of the best known comics to emerge in the late ’80s and continue to be active to this day, Marlon Wayans has come a long way since working with his brother Shawn on sit-coms such as The Wayans Brothers and ďŹ lms such as Scary Movie, White Chicks and Little Man. He still hits the standup circuit on occasion and performs tonight at 8 at MGM NorthďŹ eld Park – Center Stage. Consult the website for ticket prices. (Niesel) 10705 NorthďŹ eld Rd., NorthďŹ eld, 330-908-7793, mgmnorthďŹ eldpark.mgmresorts.com.

SUN

11/10

FOOD + MUSIC

Gospel Brunch The monthly Gospel Brunch has been a spiritual Sunday staple for years at the House of Blues. The recently reinvigorated show puts a bit more emphasis on the music. As for the food, the all-you-caneat musical extravaganza features Southern classics like chicken jambalaya, biscuits and gravy, and chicken and wafes. Seatings are available today at 10 a.m. Detrich Burgess & Company will perform. Tickets are $40 and can be purchased online, by phone or at the box ofďŹ ce. (Niesel) 308 Euclid Ave., 216-523-2583, houseofblues.com. FILM

Leonardo: The Works Designed to mark the 500th anniversary of Leonardo da Vinci’s death, Leonard: The Works features high resolution images of every single painting attributed to the iconic artist. The movie screens at 1:30 p.m. today and at 1:45 p.m. on Tuesday at the Cleveland Museum of Art. Tickets cost $15, or $11 for CMA

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| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019


members. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.

MON

11/11

FILM

The Band’s Visit This 2007 film screens tonight at 7 at the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque in conjunction with the live production now being performed at Playhouse Square. Actor Sasson Gabay, who stars in the film and also performs in the theater production, will attend tonight’s screening. Tickets cost $12, or $9 for students and Cinematheque members. (Niesel) 11610 Euclid Ave., 216-421-7450, cia.edu. TRIVIA

Monday Night Trivia Do you have tons of obscure music knowledge? Are you a student of fast food menus and their nuanced histories? What say you about the geographic evolution of Scotch whisky? Tonight’s your chance to wow your friends, make yourself instantly more desirable to someone you’re newly dating, and hang with Cleveland’s headiest hipsters and hot dog lovers. It’s the Happy Dog Monday Night Trivia. Starting at 8 p.m., expect themed rounds and general knowledge questions that seem considerably trickier than some of the other live trivia locales in town. Obviously, have a hot dog and a craft brew while you’re at it. And be sure to arrive early: Seats fill up fast. (Sam Allard) 5801 Detroit Ave., 216-651-9474, happydogcleveland.com.

series that brings scientists from throughout the region to the club so they can talk about science topics. Tonight at 7, Monica Anthony Jack, Ph.D., an associate professor of philosophy at Case Western Reserve University, will speak about the mind’s “essential tension” and how “neuroscience can and must drive a new Renaissance.” Admission is free. (Niesel) 1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com.

TUE

11/12

SPORTS

Monsters vs. Grand Rapids Griffins The Monsters have had a decent start to the 2019-2020 season and have played .500 hockey since the season began last month. Tonight, they take on the Grand Rapids Griffins at 7 at Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse. Tickets start at $10, but the lower level Hockey Hoppy Hour tickets that cost $12 come with a free drink. (Niesel) 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.

SPOKEN WORD

Science Cafe Cleveland The second Monday of each month, Music Box Supper Club hosts Science Cafe, an informal lecture

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November 17

CLEVELAND MEGA BLUES FESTIVAL Featuring Millie Jackson, Latimore, Willie Clayton, TK Soul, Wendell B and Pokey Bear November 22

November 26

MUSIC

Open Turntable Tuesday Tonight from 6 to 9, the Winchester hosts its weekly Open Turntable Tuesday. Jason Gokorsch will book guest DJs and offer slots to people who want to bring their own vinyl and spin their favorite songs or deep tracks. First time DJs are encouraged, and equipment is provided. Patrons can also bring records for the night’s DJ to add to their set. Sign up on Northeast Ohio Vinyl Club’s Facebook page. (Niesel) 12112 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216-600-5338, facebook.com/ TheWinchesterMusicTavern.

FILM

Movie Mondays Every Monday, Cleveland Cinemas hosts $5 Movie Mondays, where film fans can catch up on the latest Hollywood flicks for significantly reduced prices. Bring your friends and family and make Movie Mondays a weekly tradition — many theaters even offer discounted concession stand items. Participating theaters include Apollo Theatre, Capitol Theatre, Cedar Lee Theatre, Chagrin Cinemas and Tower City Cinemas. Unfortunately, additional charges apply for 3-D movies. (Alaina Nutile) clevelandcinemas.com.

WISH YOU WERE HERE.

Coming Attractions

MUSIC

Vinyl Night Jukebox owner Alex Budin has described his 1,350-square-foot musicfocused bar in the Hingetown ’hood as “a place where people can expect to hear and learn about music of multiple genres, all of which is concentrated in a constantly evolving jukebox.” The club hosts a vinyl night every Tuesday that serves as a listening party for new releases, partnering with Loop in Tremont, so patrons can hear a new album on vinyl. You can bring your own vinyl and spin it too. It all starts at 5 p.m. (Niesel) 1404 West 29th St., 216-206-7699, jukeboxcle.com.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene

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MOVIES THE KING AND NETFLIX Timothee Chalamet stars in dry new historical epic By Sam Allard Photo courtesy of Netflix

TIMOTHEE CHALAMET’S BOWL cut in the new 15th-century British epic The King instantly becomes the second-most iconic male haircut in Netflix’s history, trailing only Cillian Murphy’s dramatic undercut on Peaky Blinders. Chalamet leads an all-star cast that also includes Robert Pattinson, Joel Edgerton, Ben Mendelsohn, Sean Harris and Lily-Rose Depp in the Netflix original that’s now available streaming. It also screens at the Cleveland Institute of Art Cinematheque on Saturday at 6:50 p.m. and Sunday at 8:15 p.m. Prince Hal (Chalamet) is heir to the British throne but has embraced the dissolute lifestyle of a wayward son, marked by booze and women and slo-mo cavorting with his portly pal Sir John Falstaff (Edgerton), of Shakespeare fame. Hal reviles the tyrannical rule and bloody feuds of his father, King Henry IV (Mendelsohn), and when he’s crowned himself, alters course in the direction of peace. This tendency is a grave concern to Hal’s Christian-empireloving advisors, among them William Chief Justice (Harris, of Mission Impossible villainy). Against his best judgement, Hal is lured into France by the provocations of the haughty French dauphin Louis (Robert Pattinson, who electrifies in his one and only meaningful scene) and leads his troops into a climactic

battle that draws heavily on Game of Thrones’ “Battle of the Bastards,” though falls short in both visual and emotional respects. Based both on historical events, (the real King Henry ruled from 1413 until his death in 1422; the Battle of Agincourt was indeed a pivotal moment in the Hundred Years’ War), and on Shakespeare’s King Henry plays (Sir John Falstaff is not an actual historical figure), the film

has the flavor of something based on actual events. It’s furthermore full of the political machinations and vexed diplomacy that were hallmarks of GOT. But the film I kept wanting to emerge — an ahistorical Prestigestyle battle for political supremacy between Chalamet and Pattinson — never arrived. Directed by Aussie David Michod (The Rover), with a script by both Michod and Edgerton, the

film is often heavy-handed in the communication of its themes. Power corrupts, for one. War is hell, for another. The first hour, dallying on Henry IV’s shittiness, might’ve been cut by half. But the fine acting carries what is often a sober account of political calculations. Both Tom Glyn-Carney (Dunkirk) and the newly ascendant Dean-Charles Chapman (GOT’s Tommen) make the most of early supporting roles. Throughout, the careful cinematography captures the muck and terror of medieval life, to say nothing of medieval battle. Though in the final act, watching Chalamet prance among armored foes, knocking them dead by punching them in the helmet, was laugh-out-loud ridiculous. Sweet Timmy just doesn’t seem all that imposing on the battlefield, it turns out. More broadly, why do Netflix movies always seem kind of bad? I was compelled to ask myself if I would have responded with less of a shrug if the identical film were released theatrically. Maybe so. As it is, The King is just fine, but a little too bloated for enthusiastic recommendation.

sallard@clevescene.com t@scenesallard

SPOTLIGHT: PAIN AND GLORY PAIN AND GLORY, THE LATEST film from writer-director Pedro Almodóvar, finds the veteran Spanish director looking inward for inspiration. The movie centers on Salvador (Antonio Banderas), a filmmaker and writer who has decided to retire. “What will you do?” a friend asks him when she hears of his decision. “Live,” he dryly retorts, suggesting the way in which the film will examine how he comes to terms with his past in order to proceed into the future. Anchored by a compelling performance by Banderas, who won the Best Actor award earlier this year when the movie made its

international debut at the Cannes Film Festival, Pain and Glory makes for a riveting character study. It opens area-wide on Friday. Throughout the movie, a series of flashbacks tell us more about Salvador, who grew up in rural Spain in the 1960s. A flashback to when he was a young boy trying out for choir reveals he’s always had an interest in pop culture. When the priest holding the auditions asks him if he likes music, he responds that he loves “the Beatles and the cinema.” The priest tells him that he needs to take an interest in “less pagan subjects.” Flash-forward to the present day,

and Salvador’s earlier film, Sabor, has been re-mastered and re-released. The local theater asks him to make an appearance with star Alberto Crespo (Asier Etxeandia), the lead actor from the film with whom Salvador hasn’t spoken since the movie wrapped production. Salvador makes amends with Alberto, and the actor re-introduces Salvador to heroin, and Salvador once again becomes hooked. When taking the drug, he recalls some of his childhood experiences and remembers moving into a small house with his father (Raúl Arévalo) and mother Jacinta (Penelope Cruz), who send him to seminary because

that’s the only way they can ensure he’ll receive a good education. The process of thinking about his past and reconnecting with Alberto reawakens Salvador’s creativity, though he eventually realizes he must come to terms with his drug use and address a variety of other physical ailments. Even if you don’t know the various ways in which Salvador’s experiences relate to Almodóvar’s, the movie resonates. — Jeff Niesel

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel | clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

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EAT (DAIRY AND MEAT) FREE FOR ALL For vegans, Foodhisattva is a welcome addition to the east side By Douglas Trattner Photo by Emanuel Wallace

THE ABSURDITY ISN’T LOST on our dining group. To enter Foodhisattva, a new vegan eatery in Cleveland Heights, you must first walk through a small vestibule that is shared with a neighboring butcher shop. Given that you can smell Mister Brisket from down the block, it’s not surprising that the heady, sweet and, well, meaty aroma of corned beef permeates every nook and cranny of the adjacent vegan cafe. Whether that odor proves offensive or seductive depends in large part on your dietary philosophy. The Economist magazine recently declared 2019 “The year of the vegan,” predicting that this “will be the year veganism goes mainstream.” But here in Cleveland it’s still remarkably challenging to chase down a delicious, creative and wholly dairy- and meat-free meal. Sure, many progressive restaurants around town offer vegan dishes, specials and mods that attempt to fill the void, but many vegans (and even vegetarians and pescatarians) prefer not to dine next to somebody gnawing away on a rib bone. Others simply are unwilling to financially support meat-serving eateries. There are no bones about Foodhisattva, a 25-seat sliver of a space that formerly was home to Greedy Girl. As practicing vegans, owners Josh Sias and Frances Cheng are painfully aware of the paucity of suitable meatless dining options around town, a shortcoming that is amplified anywhere east of Lakewood. They’ve taken it upon themselves to move the needle, convinced that if they build it, people will come. And not just vegans and vegetarians, because to succeed as a restaurant — even one as modestly proportioned as this — means attracting diners of all philosophical persuasions. For the most part, this little eatery does succeed in pleasing all who enter. It does so by offering familiar, approachable and easy-tolove dishes like nachos, tacos and fried “chicken” sandwiches. In many ways, the menu reads like a typical bar menu if the bar happened to be run by a vegan, which makes sense considering that the concept began

life as a pop-up at breweries and other locales. Is the viscous, gloppy cashew cheese sauce atop the Supreme Master Nachos ($11) as creamy, delicious and satisfying as the real deal? Not by a long shot, but when eaten in concert with the chips, zesty taco crumbles, olives, peppers, tomatoes and avocado, it acts as the glue that binds the whole. On the other hand, the fried cauliflower bites ($7) can stand shoulder to shoulder with any bar

Japanese spice blend. A meat-eater will never confuse the wheat-based chick’n sandwich ($11) for a steamy Chick-fil-A, but I can’t imagine one putting it down unfinished either. Served on an airy sesame seed bun, the panko-crusted patty is slathered with mustard mayo and sweet-sour tonkatsu sauce and topped with lettuce and pickles. Curiously, it’s not the lack of chorizo, carnitas or al pastor that knocks the Bangkok tacos ($11) down a few notches.

FOODHISATTVA 2158 SOUTH TAYLOR RD., CLEVELAND HEIGHTS 216-938-5675, FACEBOOK.COM/FOODHISATTVA

snack proffered in a wax paperlined plastic basket. Crispy, curryscented and perfectly textured, the veggie poppers would be a welcome addition to Super Bowl Sunday. There are myriad ways to mar the now-ubiquitous blistered shishito pepper dish ($4), but Foodhisattva artfully sidesteps them all. The squiggly, bright green chiles are charred not burnt, firm not floppy and possessing of some actual heat. They get a flavor boost from a

It’s the excess of papaya, carrot and cabbage slaw that not only overshadows the tempura-fried cauliflower, but also chills it all down. In the K-Town Platter ($13), a Korean barbecue is reproduced in vegan form thanks to thinsliced, bulgogi-seasoned seitan and barbecue sauce-slicked firm tofu. The plate is flushed out with plucky banchan-like garnishes such as kimchi, spicy pickles

and bean sprout salad, as well as lettuce leaves to bundle it all up. As in the case of the nachos, the whole is greater than the sum of its meatless parts. Despite genuinely enjoying the food, I found myself pining for more grains, legumes and vegetables, ironic as that might sound given the surroundings. Apart from a handful of very fine salads topped with bottleworthy carrot-ginger dressing, the menu is shockingly lacking in fresh, creative, wholesome plantforward dishes. That just might not be Foodhisattva’s style, I get it, but there has to be room on the menu for some vegetables apart from shishito peppers, deep-fried cauliflower and romaine lettuce. Most diners appear to stay for dessert, a rotating offering that usually pairs various varieties of housemade cake and ice cream. It’s a sweet finish and a chance to chat with the gregarious owners and staff, whose passion for cooking, hosting and philosophizing is as authentic as their beliefs.

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner

| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

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EAT BITES City Works Eatery & Pour House at Pinecrest has closed By Douglas Trattner Photo courtesy of City Works

CITY WORKS EATERY & POUR House (10 Park Ave., 440-561-6100), which opened just a year and a half ago at Pinecrest in Orange Village, closed last week. The massive 9,000-square-foot restaurant is known for its extensive draft beer selection and upscale pub fare. The concept, operated by Bottleneck management, was launched in 2016 in downtown Minneapolis. There currently are 10 other locations across Pennsylvania, Illinois, Texas, Virginia and Florida. The closure is the first to befall the ritzy new Pinecrest development, and it comes on the heals of another high-profile shuttering, that of Granite City Brewery at Legacy. Other projects such as Dante Boccuzzi’s Goma and the new Red Steakhouse are still in the works for the eastside mixed-use site.

Red Steakhouse to Open Pinecrest Location on Nov. 29. Beachwood Spot Now Closed Speaking of Pinecrest … Red Steakhouse has announced an opening date for its new Orange Village restaurant at Pinecrest. Diners can look forward to a Nov. 29 launch, say representatives. The contemporary steakhouse clocks in at more than 7,500 square feet, with an additional 2,100-squarefoot rooftop patio. In advance of the Pinecrest location opening, the original Beachwood location is now permanently closed. Ownership is now solely in the hands of Gregg S. Levy, who also owns and operates Red Steakhouse downtown. Brad Friedlander is not part of this new venture. (Red in Miami is related but under different ownership.) “When Red opens its doors at Pinecrest at the end of November, our loyal patrons, friends and family will be in for a treat,” says Levy. “The countdown to opening is underway and we can’t wait to welcome everyone to this elegant space.” Executive chef will be Kyle Anderson while Stephanie Pack serves as GM. Red Pinecrest will serve lunch and dinner

Granite City Brewery at Legacy Village has Closed Granite City Food & Brewery, which opened in 2013 at Legacy Village in Lyndhurst, has closed. The Minnesota-based chain has recently shuttered stores in Indianapolis and Mishawaka, Indiana, and in East Peoria, Illinois. A location in Maumee, just outside of Toledo, still appears to be operating. It is the only other Ohio location.

It’s Cleveland Restaurant Week Cleveland Restaurant Week, an annual promotion offered at member restaurants of Cleveland Independents, kicks off this week. From Nov. 4 through 16, participating restaurants across Northeast Ohio will offer special three-course prix fixe menus for just

$33 — a price that has not budged for years. The event has always offered diners a low-cost way to sample new eateries. Approximately 50 member restaurants will be participating in this year’s event, says Matthew Anderson, chef of Table 45 and Cleveland Independents’ president. “Well over half of our members are participating in this promotion, many more than have been involved in the past,” he reports. “The model doesn’t fit all of our members’ menus, which is why we’ll never have 100-percent participation, but this is a wonderful showing of support for the community, the organization and our local food scene.” Check out clevelandindependents. com for a list of participating places.

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner | clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

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HE ’80s WERE A WHIRLWIND TIME for Tiffany. She became one of the youngest artists to have a No. 1 album at 16 years of age with her self-titled 1987 debut. The success of that record was surrounded by two No. 1 singles, “I Think We’re Alone Now,” her version of the Tommy James and the Shondells classic, and the emotional ballad, “Could’ve Been.” The rise of the album and singles was fueled by heavy airplay on the radio and MTV — and memorably, a grassroots tour of shopping malls across America. In an ’87 interview with the L.A.

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Timess, the young singer noted that she had some trepidation about the idea. “I’m a little nervous about people’s reaction, particularly since they don’t know me,” she said at that time. “I mean, I go to a mall to shop, and I’m not sure I’d stop and listen.” Even then, she was a seasoned performer, having already weathered some rough times on the concert stage during her early days of performing on the country-western circuit. “People don’t know that I started off in country music at 8, 9, 10 and 11 [years old]. That was way more Spinal

Tap because I was playing in bars,” she says. Tiffany performs with Sunrise Jones at 7 p.m. on Sunday at Music Box Supper Club. “Some of the band members were really drunk, and I had people go off stage. I’ve had them cut [out] in the middle of the verse. It was like a train wreck sometimes and that was my experience of working with bands. Some of them were really cool and some of them weren’t. I opened up for Waylon Jennings and the Hells Angels were there, and they kicked everybody off the stage!” She discovered that the country


Photo by Erika Wagner

music culture was filled with artists and groups who were “lifers,” not looking to find a normal situation. The road and the stage were the places where they found their comfort. “They had no interest in going home and just being moms. Music was always going to be their first love and their foundation. That’s how they supported their families. That’s what they loved to do and that’s who they were,” she says. “So you know, an extension [of that] was bringing people on the road and having fun on the road. The luxury of being out there and seeing different things

together, just like that. That’s how I graduated high school, was being on the road. I was lucky to have good teachers who were like, ‘Oh, okay. Well, you know what, you’re going to go to all of the sights and you’re going to write papers about it. You’re going to have first-hand experience.’ I’ve always loved that, and I’m very lucky that I’ve been able to do that.” The veteran vocalist has put out a regular stream of albums across the years and is understandably proud of her latest, Pieces of Mee. The record finds her digging deep emotionally, turning

out a set of songs that is squarely placed in the rock vein and has an organic, live feel in the way the recordings capture the band performances. She’s namechecked Fleetwood Mac’s Stevie Nicks, Led Zeppelin and Dave Grohl of Foo Fighters as influences on the direction that she took with the album’s material. Among the record’s many highlights, “The Fall” is an expansive epic that stretches past the six-minute mark and is tucked at the end of the album’s track listing. Finishing things off in that way, it’s clear that the singer-songwriter

| clevescene.com m | November 6 - 12, 2019

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spent a lot of time thinking about this collection of songs as an album and how the entire experience would fit together. “I think the vision was always to put something like ‘The Fall’ at the end and have just a really good old-school ’60s and ’70s patience to absorb a song and to really [get inside] this music. Now, everything is so fast-paced, and it’s cut up and things like that. I don’t think we listen to albums the same, but I do. Probably because I’m on the road so much,” she explains. “There’s a lot of driving involved, and you want music that you can just drive to. Music that’s good stuff. Also, music that’s good to just kick back and listen to and it’s an experience. That’s kind of what ‘The Fall’ is. It’s just this whole masterpiece of music.” Meanwhile, “Waste of Time,” the current single, is a driving rocker that hints at the intensity of how this material will play out on the concert stage. She’ll put a heavy focus on playing songs from the new album during her

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2016], which was kind of a healing record for me, because a lot of people passed away. But this is really more gritty and my personal take on things.” Working at several studios, including the legendary Blackbird Studios in Nashville, she put down the bulk of the recordings overseas in an environment that was extremely conducive to keeping the focus where it needed to be. “We [went] to Rockfield [Studios] to record most of the stuff and that’s in Wales. It’s a magical place. Queen’s ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ was written and recorded there. So it’s got such a vibe,” she says. “And there’s nothing out there, it’s just a small little town, so there’s nothing to take your mind away from being in the moment and being in the music and saturated in organically creating. I really like that process, and I’m kind of addicted.” Fresh from sharing the stage with New Kids on the Block, Debbie Gibson and others on the Mixtape tours, it’s evident that Tiffany is still charged up from the experience of the lengthy trek, which found her performing 55 shows in 53 cities to over 600,000 fans. She’s channeling that

| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

current tour and is excited about showing fans of her ’80s hits how she’s evolved as a singer and a songwriter. “Obviously, people have known me from being Tiffany and the mall tour and all of that. But they don’t know that I can sing like this. So the record had to be something that was going to stretch me and definitely capture my voice and my tone and then the lyrics. I’m primarily the lyricist and then the [band adds] to it,” she says. “We all work together. I don’t create [the music] — I have a melody here and there. I kind of come in with these crazy ideas. Like ‘The Fall’ or ‘Waste of Time,’ ‘Pieces of Me,’ you know, they’re very vulnerable songs, because they’re really things that are going on in my life and things that I’ve lived through. So I think this is probably the most exposure that I’ve put out on my life in a record, except for A Million Miles [her previous album, released in

energy right back into her current tour and enjoying the chance to connect with her fans and find out how the music is influencing them. “I have so many girls coming back to the shows, coming to Pieces of Me, from the Mixtape tour. We all talk. I do great meetand-greets after and we get to hang out and I get to hear about their lives,” she says. “What they do, what interests them and why they’re loving Pieces of Me and the direction there. We talk about food, we talk about drinks, we talk about fashion. These are all things that I’ve been working on prior to doing this album that were other interests for me. It’s another way to bond with the girls, and they’re interested in it, so we’re going to have some fun with it.”

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene


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As I Lay Dying w/ After The Burial, Emmure The Noise Presents WATERPARKS: The Fandom Tour w/ Yung Pinch, Kitten Dec. 12 The Dirty Nil w/ Single Mothers Mahall’s Dec. 12 Brian Regan Masonic Cleveland Dec. 13 Lyfe Jennings Dec. 15 Kill Tony Podcast Live Ft. co-hosts Tony Hinchcliff + Brian Redban Dec. 17 The Marcus King Band w/ Ian Noe – presented by 91.3 The Summit Dec. 18 HANSON w/ Paul Mcdonald, Joshua & The Holy Rollers Dec. 20 Bohemian Rhapsody (Tribute to Queen) + Madmen Across The Water (Tribute to Elton John)

Buy tickets at Ticketmaster.com or 216-523-BLUE

Dec. 27 Ten ‘Tribute to Pearl Jam’ w/ Best of Foo ‘Tribute to Foo Fighters’ Dec. 28 The Four Horsemen ‘Tribute to Metallica’ w/ Maiden Voyage (Tribute to Iron Maiden) Dec. 29 GWAR w/ Unearth, Savage Master Dec. 31 Tropidelic – The Freak Drop w/ Bumpin Uglies, The Palmer Squares, Joey Harkum and Toby (DJ) Jan. 2 Motion City Soundtrack SOLD OUT Jan. 5 The Dead South w/ Legendary Shack Shakers, Danny Olliver Jan. 6 Surfaces w/ Public Library Commute SOLD OUT Jan. 10 Saved By the 90’s Jan. 11 Capricorn Party ft. Terry Lee Goffee (Tribute to Johnny Cash)

MASONIC CLEVELAND: 3615 Euclid Ave, Cleveland OH 44115 HOUSE OF BLUES: 308 Euclid Ave, Cleveland OH 44114 masoniccleveland.com / houseofblues.com | clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

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27 YEARS! G IN T A R B E CEL

P O H S G O THE GR

D HTS LEVELASN C , D P.GS V L B H S ID HT 21.5588 GROG O L C U E 5 8 7 2 216.3

2875 EUCLID HEIGHTS BLVD CLEVELAND HEIGHTS WWW.BSIDELIQUORLOUNGE.COM

THU 11/7

¡MAYDAY!

HARLEY POE

HOMELESS GOSPEL CHOIR SWEEPYHEADS

WED 11/13

SUN 11/10

FIRE IN THE SKY TOUR

4(% #!4 3 -%/7 s5.#,% '.!2,9

WED 11/6

MON 11/18 BIT BRIGADE KIKAGAKU MOYO

PERFORMING METROID AND

CONTRA DOUBLE FERRARI

WED 11/27 10PM

MC CHRIS ,%8s3#(!&&%2 4(% $!2+,/2$

MINAMI DEUTSCH

SAT 12/21

GUMBO MEETS POTLUCK !..5!, 02% 4(!.+3')6).'

SIGNALS MIDWEST RUSTED HEART

FRI 11/8 6:30PM

THU 11/28

FRI 12/27

FREAKWENTS MIXEDFEELINGS216

MONTHLY DRAG SHOW

CRAZY8THEGREAT MAYOR WERTZ

DAY PART Y!

EMERGENCE: BENEFIT FOR RHINOFEST

GLAMGORE

HOSTED BY ANHEDONIA DELIGHT

FRI 11/8 10:30PM

SHHHH BE QUIET: SILENT PARTY #2%.3(!7s$* 3#//"s$* $2%%-

FRI 11/29

GUIDED BY VOICES

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THE LAB TECHS #%,,/0(!.% *!.%s0/34 3!'! MON 11/11

MAKE ‘EM LAUGH MONDAY FRI 11/15

BEACH REGIME KING BUU

SUNDAY 11.10 SERVICE INDUSTRY SUNDAY (7pm)

PRINCEMAS 7 $* $!22)#+ '2!.4

CASANOVA

KING CHIP VS CHIP THA RIPPER

TUE 12/3

TUE 12/31

:)0 :!00 THE TRADES

SCARFACE + FULL BAND

THU 12/5

THU 1/23

*!3/. +!-).3+)

IL:LO

FRI 12/6

TUE 11/19 AN EVENING WITH

CARLOS JONES

SLOAN

& THE P.L.U.S. BAND

THE ROBIN BLAKE SOUND EXPERIMENT

MONDAY 11.11 SHITSHOW KRAROKE (9pm) w/WALLACE + MANNY TUESDAY 11.12 LYRICAL RHYTHMS (9pm) Live Band Open Mic Poetry Hip-Hop Soul Experience

NEW YEARS EVE WITH

SOMEDAY SOON HEYOHWELL

ART ALEXAKIS OF EVERCLEAR

FRIDAY 11.8 BASS IN YA FACE (10pm) A monthly dosage of BASS, EDM and RAVE CULTURE Presented by Mac Entertainment

SAT 12/28

-/ -/*/

2ND ANNUAL PRE NYE PRE GAME

AARON CARTER RULE OF YOUNG

THURSDAY 11.7 THE HOOK UP (10pm) Top 40 Club Night w/DJ MIKE FILLY

SATURDAY 11.9 GUMBO! (10pm) Cleveland’s #1 Dance Party DJ WALK +DA LAND BRASS BAND

SUN 12/1

SLEPT TO DEATH +MORE

Twitter & Instagram @BSIDECOVENTRY

WEDNESDAY 11.6 FOREST CITY MUG NIGHT (7pm)

FEAT. DAVE KATZ & STEVE SWENEY OF EKOOSTIK HOOKAH

SUN 12/29

SAT 11/9 6:30PM

Happy Hour Every Day 7—9 PM

BLOCKHEAD ARMS AND SLEEPERS THU 3/26

ANTI-FLAG GRADE 2 THE GROG SHOP PRESENTS AT

THU 11/21

THU 12/12

THE SUPER BABES

SONTALK

GRLWOOD LIFE MAGNETIC

THE GET UP KIDS HEMBREE

FRI 11/22

SASHA SLOAN WINNETKA BOWLING LEAGUE

THU 12/19

KADAVAR RUBY THE HATCHET

JACK HARLOW ALLBLACK 36

MURDER BY DEATH 20TH ANNIVERSARY TOUR!

BEING STILL MILAN

WED 11/27 7PM

www.eventbrite.com

KOSHA DILLZ MUSIC BY SMPLGD

MADELINE FINN OHIO WEATHER BAND

TWIN TEMPLE

TICKETS TO GROG SHOP EVENTS ARE AVAILABLE THROUGH

SUN 3/29

SAT 12/14

AMIGO THE DEVIL KING DUDE

AVI KAPLAN

FRI 12/13 CRUEL WINTER FEST 6 HOSTED BY BKA WATTS

TUE 11/26

BEACHLAND

FRI 3/27

RELAXER FRAYLE

TUE 11/12 SELF MADE POP UP SHOW THU11/14 THE BRAKESs$OLLYHOPPERSs0EOPLE IN 4HE $AYTIME 3!4 !545-. 502/!2 W 4(% &5,, &,!6/2 -ORE WED 11/20 CAN YOU ROCK THE CROWD COMEDY SHOWCASE 3!4 -% 9/5s*AMES ,ONG %XPERIENCEs"ROKEN +EYS 35. -!215)3% 34/2-s%GGROLLS )N 4OKYO MON 11/25 MAKE ‘EM LAUGH MONDAY 7%$ '5-"/ -%%43 0/4,5#+ 0RE 4HANKSGIVING 0ARTY 3!4 4).9 -/6).' 0!243s&REDO $ISCOs3TANDARDS 7%$ 4(/-!3 4(% 7/2+ -%.s-ELLADRAMTICS SUN 12/8 TASTE MY MOVEMENT w/R THE CZAR 7%$ "/34/. -!./2s-ICROWAVEs(EART !TTACK -AN &2) 4(% !,-/34s!LL 'ET /UTs'HOST !TLASs2OWDY WED 3/11 BBNO$

Tickets can be purchased for all shows at the club without a service fee, by phone 216.321.5588 for a $1.00 surcharge, or at any of the following locations:

BRITTANY’S RECORD SHOP (Cleveland) LOOP (Tremont) MY MIND’S EYE RECORDS (Lakewood) RECORD REVOLUTION (Cleveland Heights) RECORD SHOP (Willowick) SQUARE RECORDS (Akron) THE VINYL GROOVE (Bedford)

| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

KISHI BASHI

THU 11/7 WITH CICADA SUN 1/26

RHYTHM

$!-)%. *52!$/ NICK THUNE

SAD MUSIC, SAD COMEDY THE GROG SHOP PRESENTS AT

HOUSE OF BLUES

DANNY BROWN WED 11/13 THE THOMAHAWK SHOW LIVE! SUN 11/10

FEATURING */% 4(/-!3 AND ANDREW HAWKINS


MUSIC CONSUMMATE STORYTELLERS Longtime friends Jesse Malin and Diane Gentile bring their tour to the Beachland By Jeff Niesel Photo by Dina Regine

AS SINGER-SONGWRITER Diane Gentile explains, she and fellow singer-songwriter Jesse Malin “have a long history of being friends.” Gentile worked as Malin’s manager for several years and while she no longer has that role, the two have much in common when it comes to their taste in music, even though Malin leans Americana these days and Gentile tends to go in a garage-rock direction. Gentile, who released a terrific EP earlier this year and has a full-length coming out next year, and Malin, who dropped his latest solo effort, Sunset Kids, earlier this year, have teamed up for a few Midwest dates. They perform at 8 p.m. on Friday at the Beachland Tavern. In separate phone interviews, they talk about their new albums. Talk about how you know each other. Gentile: We have a long history of being friends and working together in a lot of different capacities. I’ve played music since I was really young, but I’m a smart girl and knew I needed to make a living [doing something other than music]. I worked with [Malin] as a manager. I was interested in his demos. We just started working together. I worked with him for a couple of albums. We’ve always been really good friends, and musically, we have been on the same page. He helped me with my EP. He asked me to come out on this tour, and I think it’ll be amazing. Malin: I met Diane when I was first going solo and making my record The Fine Art of SelfDestruction. Before I made the record, I was sending off demos to record companies. One of the demos I made went to a record company she was at called Artemis. She worked with a lot of people like Warren Zevon, so I respected her ear. We started to talk about my music, and then, I went to see her play. She was doing a solo acoustic thing at CBGBs. I thought she was pretty cool. She works in the music business, but she’s an artist.

How do you think your sets will complement each other? Gentile: I think our sets will complement each other’s, but the only bummer is that my whole band won’t be there with me. I can’t afford to tour with my entire band since I’m the support. I’ll be in a duo format with me and one of the guys from the band. Malin: Her songs are really emotional and connect with people lyrically. They have good hooks too. There’s storytelling from her life. We come on with a band, and it’s another type

of person that comes just from a classic rock perspective. I like outcasts, to be honest with you. I like anything that is quality in a genre. I think that’s where my writing comes from. Malin: To me, it’s all just rock ’n’ roll. I think it’s a big umbrella, and you can have everything from the Clash to whatever. I think there’s room for all of that. I just like stuff that tells a story. There’s a connection between punk rock and folk music in terms of

JESSE MALIN, DIANE & THE GENTLEMEN 8 P.M. FRIDAY, NOV. 8 BEACHLAND TAVERN, 15711 WATERLOO RD., 2166-383-1124. TICKETS: $18 ADV, $20 DOS, BEACHLANDBALLROOM.COM

of storytelling, but it’s a little more physical. As much as I play whatever genre they want to stick you in, it’s an uplifting thing. If we do it right, it’s a good one-two punch. They’ve been playing her music a bunch on some of the satellite stations. What do you think of as your influences? Gentile: I just love great music and every genre. I’m not the kind

the simplicity and lyrics that are connected to people in the street and real situations and people going through something. You put it out there and you feel like you’re not alone. It’s like blues on the run but maybe a different kind of blues. I think that having three chords and some kind of story and attitude or lifestyle isn’t that far away from Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash and Billy Bragg and Joe

Strummer and Frank Turner. Talk about your current band. How did the group come together? Gentile: Jason Victor is so great. He will be on the cover of Guitar Magazine one day. He’s that good. He plays in the Dream Syndicate with Steve Wynn, and I love them. Mark Bosch added guitars on my EP too. He plays with Ian Hunter in Mott the Hoople. He’s one of those guitar players who makes something special happen each time he plays. He’s like James Honeyman-Scott from the Pretenders. You put a guitar in his hands and he writes something miraculous. Malin: I’ve been playing with Derek Cruz, the guitarist and vocalist for years. We got him through on online ad. He came in as the keyboard player and stepped into the guitar position. Randy Schrager, who was drumming with the Scissor Sisters, started on [2010’s] Love It to Life. Catherine Popper I knew from her days with everyone from Ryan Adams and the Cardinals to Grace Potter and Norah Jones and Jack White. She’s part of the New York scene and comes from a jazz background but really understands punk rock and knows American roots music. Our keyboard player Rob Clores has played with me on and off since my first album. He’s played with everyone from Tom Jones to the Black Crowes and David Johansen. What will your performance at the Beachland be like? Gentile: The duo format is really fun. It’ll be me on acoustic and Alfonso Velez, who is a great songwriter on his own. He plays electric and I play acoustic. He harmonizes with me. The benefit is that you can really hear the lyrics. We still play a lot of uptempo songs. It’s been going over really well. Malin: We definitely play a lot of new stuff, but we play stuff from all the other albums too.

jniesel@clevescene.com scene@clevescene.com @clevelandscene t@jniesel | clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

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| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019


LIVEWIRE

all the live music you should see this week Photo by Dan Kazinski

WED

11/06

Amber Run/Jordan MacKampa: 8 p.m., $18 ADV, $20 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. Ryan Bingham/Jamestown Revival: 8 p.m., $30 ADV, $35 DOS. House of Blues. GA-20: 8:30 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Beachland Tavern. MC Chris/Lex/Schaffer the Darklord/Crazy8theGreat/Mayor Wertz: 8:30 p.m. Grog Shop. Oz Noy/Dave Weckl/Hadrien Feraud: 7 p.m., $30. Bop Stop. Tool/Killing Joke: Formed in 1990 by Ravenna native Maynard James Keenan, Tool became one of the biggest bands of the 1990s. The group released four multi-platinum studio albums and won three Grammys before curtailing touring and recording. Just recently, however, the band released its long-awaited fifth studio album, Fear Inoculum, and launched a national tour in support of the disc. The album represents the prog-metal band’s most nuanced work to date as intricate percussion drives tunes such as the title track and “Pneuma.” (Jeff Niesel) 7:30 p.m. Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse.

THU

11/07

Josie Dunn/Emily Rowed: 8 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Flora/Shy Moon: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class. Ghostemane/3TEETH/Horus the Astroneer/Parv0: 7 p.m., $25 ADV, $30 DOS. House of Blues. Harley Poe/Homeless Gospel Choir/ Sweepyheads: 8:30 p.m., $15 ADV, $17 DOS. Grog Shop. Honey Pocket/Bonnie Clydeman/ Blue Hippo: 8 p.m., $7. CODA. Hozier: 8 p.m., $39.50-$59.50. Akron Civic Theatre. Kisha Bashi/Cicada Rhythm: 8 p.m., $23 ADV, $25 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. Laura Rain & the Caesars (in the Supper Club): 7:30 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. Richie Goods Project: 9 p.m., $20. Bop Stop. Chip Stephens/Glenn Wilson Duo + CWRU Jazz Ensemble: 7 p.m., $20. Nighttown. Talking Heads Tribute by Start Making Sense/Ruby Dear: 7:30

Gabriel Sanchez brings his Prince Experience to the Music Box Supper Club. See: Friday.

p.m., $15 ADV, $20 DOS. Music Box Supper Club.

FRI

11/08

Anamanaguchi: 7 p.m., $23.50$26.50. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Shemekia Copeland/Sam Hooper Group (in the Supper Club): 8 p.m., $25 ADV, $30 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. Daughtry: 8 p.m. MGM Northfield Park. Emergence: Fundraiser for Rhinofest Featuring FREAKwents/Mixedfeelings216: 7 p.m., $10. Grog Shop. Fantasia/Robin Thicke/The Bonfyre: 8 p.m., $49-$99. State Theatre. Dominick Farinacci: 7 p.m., $20. Nighttown. The Interrupters: 8 p.m., $25 ADV, $28 DOS. House of Blues. Jazz Heritage Orchestra Celebrates Kyle Braun: 7 p.m., $45. Bop Stop. Carlos Jones & the P.L.U.S. Band/ Sun Shade: 8:30 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. Knocked Loose/Stick To Your Guns/Rotting Out/Candy/ SeeYouSpaceCowboy: 6 p.m. Agora Theatre. Jesse Malin/Diane & the Gentlemen: 8 p.m., $18 ADV, $20 DOS. Beachland Tavern. The Prince Experience: Since 2002, singer-guitarist Gabriel Sanchez has portrayed Rock

Hall inductee Prince. Tonight, he brings his show, dubbed the Prince Experience, to town. Sanchez, who looks very similar to the diminutive Prince, will play all of Prince’s biggest hits, including tracks such as “Little Red Corvette”, “When Doves Cry,” “Kiss,” “1999” and “Purple Rain.” Expect to hear over-the-top guitar solos and a potent mix of funk, rock and R&B in this tribute to one of music’s most creative artists. (Niesel) 8 p.m., $20-$30. Music Box Supper Club. Relaxer/Niights/Safe Words: 9 p.m., $6. Happy Dog. Perry Smith Quartet/Phil Jones: 8:30 p.m. Nighttown. Vinyl Wings/Rock Eupora/Uptight Sugar: 8 p.m., $8. CODA. Jackie Warren: 10:30 p.m., free. Nighttown. WVWhite/Pearly: 8 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class.

SAT

11/09

Bella Donna/Anaconda Vampire Bats/Youth Pallet: 9 p.m., $6. The Winchester. Brandon Postman’s 27th Birthday Bash Benefit with the Lab Techs/ Cellophane Jane/Post Saga/ Slept To Death/Lea Marra & the Dream Catchers: 8 p.m., $8 ADV, $10 DOS. Grog Shop. Bob Dylan & His Band: 8 p.m., $79.50. E.J. Thomas Hall.

Conan Gray/UMI: 8 p.m., $25 ADV, $30 DOS. House of Blues. Huntertones/The Katy: 8:30 p.m., $12 ADV, $14 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Incubus/Le Butcherettes: 8 p.m. Akron Civic Theatre. Phil Jones: 8 p.m., $20. Bop Stop. Midwestlust/Sacred Canopy/Seros (in Club Atlantis): 10 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class. Paint Thinner/Wilful Boys/Unholy Two/Obnox: 8 p.m., $7. Now That’s Class. Punch Drunk Tagalongs/ Biitchseat/String Machine: 9 p.m., $10. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Nelson Rangell/Hubb’s Groove: 8:30 p.m., $30. Nighttown. RIPE/Castlecomer: 9 p.m., $16 ADV, $18 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. Maura Rogers & the Bellows/Thor Platter (in the Supper Club): 8 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. Vanity Crash/Brian Hager & the Sky Rockets: 7 p.m., $7. CODA. Jackie Warren: 10:30 p.m., free. Nighttown.

SUN

11/10

8th Annual In Celebration Of: A Tribute to Dave Smeltz: 7 p.m., $15 ADV, $20 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. AHI: 8 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Danny Brown/Ashnikko/ Zeelooperz: 8 p.m., $25 ADV. $30 DOS. House of Blues. Dominick Farinacci: 7 p.m., $20. Nighttown. Fillmore/Niko Moon: 7:30 p.m., $15 ADV, $18 DOS. House of Blues Cambridge Room. Joy Cleaner/Stalemate: 8 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class. Lauren Lee Quaret: 7 p.m., $15. Bop Stop. ¡Mayday!/The Cat’s Meow/Uncle Gnarly: 8 p.m., $15. Grog Shop. Terry McBride (in the Supper Club): 7 p.m., $18 ADV, $22 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. Claire Morales/Napsack/Sure, Machine: 8:30 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Punch Drunk Tagalongs/ Biitchseat/String Machine: 9 p.m., $10. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. School of Rock: 3 p.m., free. CODA. Small Town Titans: 8 p.m., $12. The Winchester. Tiffany/The Sunrise Jones: 7 p.m. Music Box Supper Club. | clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

39


KentStage =HGÍM FBLL MA>L> @K>:M LAHPL MB<D>ML HG L:E> GHP

LIVEWIRE Weakened Friends (in the Locker Room): 8 p.m., $10. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

MON Journeyman Fri November 15

Tinsley Ellis, Tommy Castro And The Painkillers Sat November 16

Midwest Nerdlesque Fest Day

Corey Smith Thu November 21

(TWO DAY EVENT) Fri Nov 22 & Sat Nov 23

Hot Tuna

Zach Deputy - Red Moon Tour

Wed December 11

Fri December 13

Tuck & Patti

The Fixx

First Snow

Sat December 14

Thu December 19

Sat December 21

Béla Fleck & Abigail Washburn

The High Kings

We Banjo 3

Mon February 3

Mon February 24

Wed March 4

JUST ANNOUNCED SUN, MARCH 8, 2020

DECEMBER 7TH

ALL SHOWS AT THE KENT STAGE UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED Tickets available at thekentstage.com or 877-987-6487 GMK [w cw i {{ © a{ B e~ JJHJF

40

| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

11/11

Christmas/Chained to the Bottom of the Ocean/Slowly Melting/Ghost Noises: 8 p.m., $8. Now That’s Class. Elton John: Near the end of last year’s nearly three-hour set at the Q, Elton John confided that he’s been taken aback by the way his career evolved. “It’s been a remarkable and unexpected journey,” he said as he admitted that when he and songwriting partner Bernie Taupin began working together, they figured they would write songs for other people. When no one took them up on that offer, John decided to record the tunes himself, and he subsequently put a band together to play them live. That was nearly 50 years ago, and after an incredible run that includes hit albums and induction into the Rock Hall, John has said that his current tour, dubbed Farewell Yellow Brick Road, will be his last. Just to ensure that everyone in Northeast Ohio has the chance to see him play one last time, John returns to Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse tonight. (Niesel) 8 p.m. Rocket Mortgage Fieldhouse. NOX BOYS/Bobkat ’65: 8 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Spirit Was Sean Henry/Quitr/ Good Year/Kansas (in the Locker Room): 8 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Mahall’s 20 Lanes.

TUE

11/12

Forest City Presents: The Plug: 9 p.m., free. CODA. Kinky Friedman/Brian Molnar: 8 p.m., $22-$40. Beachland Tavern. Logic/J.I.D./YBN Cordae: 7:30 p.m., $29.99-$79.99. Wolstein Center. Jamali Maddix: 7 p.m., $15. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. The Maine/Twin XL: 7 p.m., $25 ADV, $30 DOS. House of Blues. Rat Fancy/Sweepyheads/Grumpy Plum: 8:30 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. WAX with Ubi (Ces Cru) and Lance Skiiiwalker: 7 p.m., $15. The Winchester.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene


| clevescene.com m | November 6 - 12, 2019

41


BAND OF THE WEEK 532 W. MARKET ST. AKRON, OH 330-376-7171

j^khiZWoB del[cX[h M © MPIFfc

MURDER MYSTERY DINNER VISIT WEBSITE FOR DETAILS \h_ZWoB del[cX[h N © MPFFfc

SAT. NOV. 16

COMEDY CLUB NIGHT

THE RIPPINGTONS

Featuring Headliner

SAT. NOV. 23 AN EVENING WITH

BILL BORONKAY

f y{{z x{ {¢ e~ ] z{ { l {x { | z{ w

PEABO BRYSON

iWjkhZWoB del[cX[h O © NPFFfc

LAURA RAIN AND THE CAESARS By Jeff Niesel

MEET THE BAND: Laura Rain (vocals),

Steven Bostik (bass), Scott Veenstra (drums), George Friend (guitar) A DETROIT SOUND: Rain grew up just south of Detroit,, listening to Motor City acts such as Aretha Franklin. “I have been singing ever since I can remember,” says Rain. “It called to me. It was a seed planted inside of me. I keep trying to live up to the potential because I really don’t know where it came from.” After she moved

with a variety of Detroit musicians. For the last two albums and the single “Pleasure Zone,” they went to a vintage studio in Pontiac. “We recorded to tape while we were all in a room,” she says. “That studio is no longer there, so I’m glad we got to capture that room and that sound and energy.” The group is currently in the process of recording its next album and will enlist a few different producers this time around. “We’re really trying to reach out,” says Photo courtesy of Laura Rain

SAT. NOV. 30

ERIC BENET GREAT MUSIC, FOOD & DRINK Book Your Special Events With Us!

SUN. DEC. 1

1414 RIVERSIDE DRIVE LAKEWOOD HGLCHHGCIKFF © l ~y xDy

THE WHISPERS TUE. DEC. 3

PETER WHITE CHRISTMAS SHOW Featuring

Euge Groove & Lindsey Webster

SAT. DEC. 7

1964 BEATLES TRIBUTE FRI. DEC. 13 & SAT. DEC. 14

FRANKIE SCINTA HOLIDAY SHOW NEW YEAR’S EVE!

DISCO INFERNO SHOW TICKETS AVAILABLE ONLINE! www.thetangier.com BANQUET FACILITIES AVAILABLE FOR EVENTS

42

| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

to Los Angeles a couple of years ago, she started booking her own shows. “In the little community I lived in north of Burbank, the people were really receptive to what I was doing, which was Detroit music,” she says. “I kept along with that time.” A few years ago, Rain and Friend independently moved from Los Angeles to Detroit. They met in the summer of 2012 and started writing about two weeks after they met. AN ELECTRIFYING DEBUT: The group released its debut, Electrified, in 2013. “It was just meant to be,” says Rain. “It was easy and fun. Everything just came together. It was an interesting process. I had written some songs before I moved back to Detroit. Some we wrote together. In the first three or four months of us meeting, we wrote everything quickly.” They recorded it and its followup in their living room

Rain when asked about the release. “We’ll do some of the songs at the Music Box show. It’s slowly coming together.” WHY YOU SHOULD HEAR THEM: Songs

such as “Super Duper Love” and “Soul Creature” are straight-up blues jams that allow Friend to show off his chops. Rain shakes a mean tambourine on the tracks as well. “In My Life” features more of a soul/R&B vibe as Rain really wails on the tune. WHERE YOU CAN HEAR THEM: laurarain.

net. WHERE YOU CAN SEE THEM: Laura Rain and the Caesars perform at 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, Nov. 7, at the Music Box Supper Club.

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel


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DAILY 5:30 - 6:30

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| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

43


TWO BUSTY BABES

YOUR FANTASY COME TRUE! NUDE FULL BODY MASSAGE WITH TWO GORGEOUS BUSTY BI-FRIENDLY BEAUTIES 45 Min for only $120

Call Today at 216-359-1169 Available Monday - Saturday 11am-10pm | Closed Sunday

CASH PAYMENT ONLY! 44

| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019


SAVAGE LOVE THE MAN SHOW by Dan Savage

I am male. A close female friend was raped by an old acquaintance of mine. I knew this guy when we were tweens, I didn’t really care for him as we got older, so it goes. It turns out that a few years ago, he raped my friend in an alcohol blackout situation. I don’t know more than that. She says she considers the encounter “not strictly consensual” and confided that this guy didn’t react well when she tried to talk to him about it. This isn’t something she’s “out” about. My feelings toward this guy are pretty dark. Now he’s moved back to town and I see him around, and some good friends of mine who stayed in contact with him invite him to stuff. I don’t know what to say or how to act. I know I don’t want to talk to him or be his friend. I would like to tell my other friends about this guy so I don’t have to see him, but I can’t because it’s not my story to tell. I would rather just skip social events he’s at. But without an explanation, I doubt my friends will understand, and it feels like I’m surrendering my friends to someone who assaulted a dear friend. I told someone once to please not invite him to something or I would skip it. They were confused, and it felt like an awkward ask. What should I say to my friends about this guy? What can I do to keep him out of my life? — Angry Confidant “I don’t like hanging out with Chuck and would appreciate it if you didn’t invite him to the party/ show/bris/whatever.” “What’s the issue between you guys?” “Look, we go a long way back, and it’s not something I want to discuss. It’s just awkward for us to be in the same place.” That’s the best you can do without outing your friend — without telling a story that isn’t yours to tell — and it’s likely your mutual friends will be confused by the ask, AC, but you’ll just have to be at peace with that. You could add something vague that omits identifying details (“He did a shitty thing to a friend”), but any details you share — however vague — could result in questions being put to you that you can’t answer or are

tempted to answer. Even worse, questions will be put to “Chuck,” and he’ll be free to lie, minimize, or spin. My only other piece of advice would be to follow your close female friend’s lead. You describe what transpired between her and Chuck as rape, while your friend describes the encounter as “not strictly consensual.” That’s a little more ambiguous. And just as this isn’t your story to tell, AC, it’s not your experience to label. If your friend doesn’t describe what happened as rape — for whatever reason — you need to respect that. And does your friend want Chuck excluded from social events hosted by mutual friends or is she able to tolerate his presence? If it’s the latter, do the same. If she’s not making an issue of Chuck being at a party, you may not be doing her any favors by making an issue of his presence yourself. If you’re worried your friend tolerates Chuck’s presence to avoid conflict and that being in the same space with him actually upsets her (or that the prospect of being in the same space with him keeps her from those spaces), discuss that with her one-on-one and then determine — based on her feelings and her ask — what, if anything, you can do to advocate for her effectively without white-knighting her or making this not-strictlyconsensual-and-quite-possiblyrapey thing Chuck did to her all about you and your feelings. It’s really too bad Chuck reacted badly when your friend tried to talk to him about that night. If he’s an otherwise decent person who has a hard time reading people when he’s drunk, he needs to be made aware of that and drink less or not drink at all. If he’s a shitty person who takes advantage of other people when they’re drunk, he needs to know there will be social and potentially legal consequences for his behavior. The feedback your friend offered this guy — the way she tried to hold him accountable — could have prevented him from either fucking up like this again (if he’s a decent but dense guy) or taking advantage

like this again (if he’s a shitty and rapey guy). If he was willing to listen, which he wasn’t. And since he wasn’t willing to listen … yeah, my money is on shitty and rapey, not decent but dense.

*** I’m a single straight man. A friend recently told me her 20-year marriage hasn’t included sex for the past six years. Kids, stress, etc. I offered to have sex with her, but only if her husband approves. If I were her husband, I would want to know. But I think it’s unlikely her husband would approve our coital encounter. Have I done wrong? — Married Asshole Refuses Intercourse To Affectionate Lady If discreetly getting sex outside her marriage allows your friend to stay married and stay sane, and if she doesn’t get caught, and if the sexual connection with her husband should revive after their kids are older — a lot of ifs, I realize — then the condition you set could result in your friend and her husband getting divorced now, which would preclude the possibility of their sexual connection reviving later. (Although we shouldn’t assume that sex has to be part of a marriage for it to be loving and valid. Companionate marriages are valid marriages.) That said, your friend is free to fuck some other guy if she doesn’t like your terms. Finally, MARITAL, unless you’re brainstorming names for a My Chemical Romance cover band, there’s really no reason to use the phrase “our coital encounter.”

*** I’m a straight 45-year-old man. Good-looking. Three college degrees and one criminal conviction. Twice divorced. I’ve had some intense relationships with women I met by chance — one knocked on my door looking to borrow an egg — so I know I can impress women. But online dating doesn’t work for

me because I’m only 5-foot-7. Most women online filter me out based on height. The other problem is that I’m extremely depressed. I’m trying to work on the depression (seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist), but the medications don’t seem to do much for me. This is probably due to my alcoholism. I’d love to start my online profile by boldly proclaiming my height and my disdain for shallow women who disregard me for it, but that would come across as bitter, right? — Serious Heartbreak Over Relationship Travails There are plenty of 5-foot-tall women out there, SHORT, women you’d tower over. But there are very few women who would respond positively — or at all — to a man whose online dating profile dripped with contempt for women who don’t want to fuck him. Rejection sucks, I know, but allowing yourself to succumb to bitterness only guarantees more rejection. And first things first: Keep working on your depression with your mentalhealth team and please consider giving up alcohol. (I’m sure you’ve already considered it. Reconsider it.) No one is looking for perfection in a partner — and no one can offer perfection — but if dating you is likely to make someone’s life harder, SHORT, they aren’t going to want to date you. So get yourself into good working order and then start looking for a partner. And since you know you have better luck when you meet people face-toface, don’t spend all your time on dating apps. Instead, find things you like to do and go do them. Maybe you can pick a presidential candidate you like — one who supports coverage for mentalhealth care? — and volunteer on their campaign.

On the Lovecast: A drug that cures heartbreak? Seriously. Listen at savagelovecast.com.

mail@savagelove.net t@fakedansavage

| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019

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| clevescene.com | November 6 - 12, 2019


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