The Paris climate conference finally signaled consensus on global warming
That was last year by Alastair Bland
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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./6%-"%2 $%#%-"%2 s 6/,5-% .O 22 Dedicated to Free Times founder Richard H. Siegel (1935-1993) and Scene founder Richard Kabat Publisher Chris Keating
CONTENTS
Editor Vince Grzegorek
5PFRONT
Editorial Managing Editor Eric Sandy Music Editor Jeff Niesel Staff Writer Sam Allard Writer-at-large Kyle Swenson Web Editor Bliss Davis Dining Editor Douglas Trattner Contributing Dining Editor Rachel Hunt Stage Editor Christine Howey Visual Arts Editor Josh Usmani
MetroHealth to see massive makeover, Ohio lawmakers confront bestiality, and more
&EATURE
Advertising Senior Multimedia Account Executive John Crobar, Shayne Rose Multimedia Account Executive Kiara Hunter-Davis
'ET /UT
Business Asst. To The Publisher Angela Lott Sales Assistant/Receptionist Megan Stimac Staff Accountant Kristy Dotson
Dozens of events spanning the next week in Cleveland
Circulation Circulation Director Don Kriss Euclid Media Group Chief Executive OfďŹ cer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating OfďŹ cers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Human Resources Director Lisa Beilstein Digital Operations Coordinator Jaime Monzon Chief Financial OfďŹ cer William Mickey www.euclidmediagroup.com
!RT
CLE Creates brings a treasure trove of holiday shopping opportunities
3TAGE
National Advertising Voice Media Group 1-800-278-9866, voicemediagroup.com
Holiday theater preview: How to have fun on the brink of the apocalypse
Cleveland Scene 737 Bolivar Rd, #4100 Cleveland, OH 44115 www.clevescene.com Phone 216-241-7550 Retail & ClassiďŹ ed Fax 216-241-6275 Editoral Fax 216-802-7212 E-mail scene@clevescene.com
Film
Cleveland Scene Magazine is published every week by Euclid Media Group. VeriďŹ ed Audit Member Cleveland Distribution Scene is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader Copyright The entire contents of Cleveland Scene Magazine are copyright 2016 by Euclid Media Group. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. Publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, selfaddressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed above. Subscriptions $150 (1 yr); $ 80 (6 mos.) Send name, address and zip code with check or money order to the address listed above with the title ‘Attn: Subscription Department’
The Weepies )N TOWN 7EDNESDAY
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The Eagle Huntress chronicles a young Mongolian woman’s remarkable story
$INING
The best Puerto Rican food in town shines at the new location of Caribe Bake Shop
-USIC
...The story continues at clevescene.com
The Ohio City Singers return with a terriďŹ c new set of holiday tunes
3AVAGE ,OVE So you’re dating a dick ďŹ ddler
4
The global consensus on climate change only recently synced up in Paris. What’s next?
Creative Services Production Manager Steve Miluch Layout Editor/Graphic Designer Christine Hahn Staff Photographer Emanuel Wallace
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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UPFRONT METROHEALTH WILL PAY FOR ITS OWN MAKEOVER
THIS WEEK
THE METROHEALTH HOSPITAL System has announced that it is moving forward with an $855-million campus transformation, and that it is doing so by seeking financing on its own credit. Assuming all goes according to plan, a new medical campus on its current footprint along West 25th Street should be up and running by 2022. CEO Akram Boutros told Scene in an interview that the hospital system’s board of trustees voted on the credit option after they’d received a report by healthcare financial advisor Kaufman-Hall apprising them of their options. County support, HUD financing and developer-tied financing were also on the table. “But setting out on our own credit assured MetroHealth the most efficient transformation,” Boutros said. “And in the grand scheme, it’s the least costly method.” To get things rolling, the board approved a $120,000 payment to an investment banking firm earlier this month. Raymond James & Associates will help MetroHealth navigate the bond market, which Boutros has been assured is extraordinarily receptive to the hospital system’s strategic (and financial) growth. Additionally, interest rates are at near-historic lows, so now is an advantageous time to borrow, he said. Moreover, Boutros said a campus transformation, quite apart from the fact that it echoes the strategic transformation, was becoming physically necessary. Since 2005, MetroHealth has spent $80 million “patching and repairing” its buildings. Work orders in the past 10 years have gone up 400 percent. But Boutros hastened to say that despite this financial decision, the hospital’s relationship with the
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county will not change. “We’re still a public hospital,” he said. “We still have our mission. We’re still going to care for everyone, and we’re still pursuing ways in which the county can support the transformation — maybe through credit enhancements. We’re optimistic and committed to working with them.” Boutros said lenders look at MetroHealth as a good borrower because of its recent performance.
FREQUENT FLYERS Strongsville restricts hours of hookah lounges, vape shops near public schools. Asked about that guy who graduated two years ago and sells weed under the bleachers, council said, “Nah, he’s cool.”
In the past four years, the hospital system has gained 67,000 new patients. After a strategy firm foretold a bleak outlook for MetroHealth in 2011, Boutros said the hospital had to reassess its identity. “We have the world’s most recognized brand in healthcare in our backyard: Cleveland Clinic. We have a massive academic medical center with lots of locations that provide excellent care: University Hospital. If we were going to compete on that model, we
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Biopic of Matthew Dellavedova reportedly in the works. Producers aim to emulate “feel-good” sports flicks like Hoosiers and Rocky, but hire cinematographer from Mad Max: Fury Road; Immortan Joe to co-star.
RGIII and his girlfriend say money was stolen from their car during the Browns game. Jimmy Haslam again denies any role in rebate scam.
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
weren’t going to succeed,” he said. So MetroHealth found a niche in what Boutros called “upstream” healthcare, services that “complement and augment” what other providers do. “Instead of coming in at the very end of someone’s needs — say, a kidney transplant — we come in early to identify risk and manage that risk,” he said. “This creates value for patients and for the community.”
QUALITY OF LIFE One holiday with your family down, one to go.
| clevescene.com m | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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OHIO LAWMAKERS ARE DEBATING WHETHER TO OUTLAW BESTIALITY If it seems like we’re rolling out a headline from Scene’s Middle Ages archives, well, that’s only because of the striking similarities between those days and the 131st General Assembly here in Ohio. SB 195, which seeks to prohibit bestiality in Ohio, is up for committee debate this week. The year is 2016. “This is sick, perverse, deviant behavior,â€? bill sponsor Sen. Jim Hughes, a Republican, told the Columbus Dispatch last year. “We should not allow this in a civilized society. To me, it’s shocking Ohio is one of the minority of states that does not make this illegal.â€? SB 195 will be discussed Wednesday morning in Columbus. The bill lays out fairly speciďŹ c and thorough descriptions of what “sexual conductâ€? means. If you need a refresher, here’s the Ohio Senate with some helpful guidelines: “Any act done between a person and animal that involves contact of the penis of one and the vulva of the other, the penis of one and the penis of the other, the penis of one and the anus of the other, the mouth of one and the penis of the other, the mouth of one and the anus of the other, the vulva of one and the vulva of the other, the mouth of one and the vulva of the other, any other contact between a reproductive organ of one and a reproductive organ of the other, or any other insertion of a reproductive organ of one into an oriďŹ ce of the other ...â€? Having sex with an animal would constitute a second-degree misdemeanor if this bill passes. The court may order the offender to give up ownership of the animal. Now, it’s not like Ohio leaders haven’t tried to jam this sort of bill through the General Assembly before. State lawmakers tried to get a similar bill passed in 2011. It’s worth noting real quick-like that then-House Minority Leader Armond Budish (the current Cuyahoga County executive) cracked a stilted joke at the expense of the bill’s sponsor, looking back at Rep. Jay Goyal’s career and noting that “his biggest disappointment in an otherwise stellar legislative career is that the bill has not passed and the sheep of Ohio have not adequately been protected.â€? Animal advocates across the state ďŹ red back, publicly criticizing the representative for
blowing off a serious issue. That bill died in the House. We’ll see if Ohio can muster up the will to outlaw sex with animals anytime soon.
CITY COUNCIL TAKES UP PUBLIC SQUARE RTA DEBATE Cleveland City Council’s Transportation Committee is convening Nov. 30 to discuss the decision to close Public Square to buses. That decision was announced two week ago by Mayor Frank Jackson and RTA CEO Joe Calabrese, who cited safety concerns and public sentiment as reasons for their decision. But members of city council, the city’s legislative body, were miffed by the announcement. They had not been informed prior to the hastily called press conference and had not held a public hearing to discuss the matter. Councilmen Brian Cummins and Zack Reed both publicly expressed their displeasure. Others did so privately. At Wednesday morning’s meeting, Calabrese is scheduled to brief the committee members (and all other council members, who are invited to attend) on the impact of the decision. He said at the press conference that compensatory actions could be taken in the downtown transit zone — signal prioritization, dedicated bus lanes — to mitigate the delays caused by re-routing buses around Public Square. Frank Jackson representatives will be on hand as well, to walk city council through the mayor’s decision-making process. Transit advocates are planning to attend the public hearing too, and, like the council members, will be pushing for greater transparency. “The sad part is that former mayor Tom L. Johnson, who has a statue in Public Square, strongly advocated for big-tent public meetings and affordable public transportation throughout his career,� said Chris Stocking, member of Clevelanders for Public Transit (who has also contributed to Scene), in a statement after the decision. “We believe Johnson would be very disappointed with the mayor’s decision as well as his lack of transparency on this issue.� Clevelanders for Public Transit will host a press conference and rally at Public Square in opposition to the city’s decision, on Dec. 3 at 3 p.m.
Photo by Sam Allard
CLEVELAND MAY BEGIN REGULATING THOSE STOREFRONT TAX PREPARERS Spearheaded by Councilman Anthony Brancatelli, a set of new regulations introduced to City Council last week would mandate that storefront tax preparers like Liberty Tax Service, H&R Block and Jackson-Hewitt disclose all of their fees upfront and must be certified by the city’s department of licenses and assessments. Preparers will also be prohibited from requiring consumers to utilize “refund settlement products,” mechanisms where a
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9 Number of people injured in shooting incident at the Ohio State University on Monday.
portion of tax refunds are advanced to consumers against the anticipated value of their refunds. Additionally, the new ordinances feature a requirement that the manager of Fair Housing and Consumer Affairs produce a “Consumer Bill of Rights” with basic information about tax preparation and refund anticipation products. Tax preparers will be required to provide consumers with a copy of the Consumer Bill of Rights. “It’s very comprehensive,” Brancatelli said in a conversation with Scene. “I consider this a Christmas present to our residents, and a little coal in the stocking of those preparers who haven’t been regulating themselves enough.” Brancatelli, working with Neighborhood Housing Services of Greater Cleveland, advocated for thorough legislation modeled after other cities with similar regulatory structures. The consumer bill of rights and the mandatory disclosures in Cleveland’s version are similar to those in Chicago. The registration and training piece comes courtesy of Maryland, Brancatelli said. The Slavic Village councilman credited David Rothstein at NHS and City Council attorney Jennifer O’Leary for their diligent work. Though he hasn’t followed up with Council President Kevin Kelley, Brancatelli said he’s hopeful that the legislation will take effect this coming tax season. The legislation was introduced Monday and referred to committee. “We don’t want to do any harm to the folks who are doing good — the volunteers and the CPAs,” he said. “We just want to hold the feet to the fire of the companies picking people off the street and calling them tax preparers. We’re getting more folks aware. If we do a full-court press now, this can go into effect very quickly.”
scene@clevescene.com t @clevelandscene
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the world premiere of a noir comedy mystery thriller
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Directed by Geoffrey Hoffman It’s 1932, and 17-year-old Tobias, a young man enamored with radio serials and pulp ďŹ ction, receives a puzzling package which leads him on a danger-ďŹ lled search for the members of a secret society. In the theater, meanwhile, a group of confused and contentious actors struggle to provide historical context (or not) and work with the audience to solve Tobias’ Depression-era enigma. Confusion, and much comedy, ensues as both the characters and actors try to untangle this mysterious and thrilling tale for us.
Opening Fri, Dec 2 and Running Thurs-Sat at 8 pm through Dec 17 Liminis Theater | 2438 Scranton Rd | Cleveland 44113 in the historic Tremont neighborhood
Tickets at convergence-continuum.org and 216-687-0074 $15 general admission, $12 seniors (65+), $10 students THE LIMINIS THEATER BUILDING IS GOING UP FOR SALE. HELP CONVERGENCE-CONTINUUM BUY IT! Full details (and a Liminis video) are at convergence-continuum.org PLAY YOUR PART: SAVE THE LIMINIS THEATER!
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FEATURE
by Alastair Bland
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an nd sccie ient ntis nt isstss at ev e erry coorn ner of th thee gllob obe b confi nfi firm th that a hum at man a s ar a e faaci cing ing ng a crris isis iss. Ho Howe w veerr,, cli we lima m te cha ma hang ng ge iss bbeein ing g neeaarrly ign nor ored ed by Am Amer eric er ric ican pooli poli l ti tici ici c ans an ns an and d la l wm maker ak ker ers. rs. It wa was noot di disccus usse sed se d in dep epth t at al th alll du d riing ng this th iss pas a t el elec lec ecti t on cyc ti y lee’s tel elev evis ev issed d pres pr esid es iden en nti tial al deb ebat a es at es.. An And, d whe d, hen hen climate ch cli cl han ngee doees br brea eeaak th thee su urf r acce of pub u lliic di d sc scus ussi us sion o , itt pol olaariz ariizzes ar Amer Am eric er ican anss like an liike k alm mos o t no oth ther err p liiti po tica caal issu isssu suee. e. Som omee coons n er erva vaati t ve ves, s, iin ncl clud clud din ng Tr Trum u p, um p stiill l den e y th theere’ ere’ e’ss even ev een n a pro robl robl blem em m. “W We ar aree in n thi h s bi biza zarr za rrre poli politi po tica cal al sttat atee in whi hich h mos ostt of the Rep epub ubli liica can n Paart r y st s il i l th hin inks k it ha has to pre rete tend te nd that th at cli at l ma m tee ch haang ngee iss not rea e l, l,”” saaid d J n Jo naath athan an F.P. .P P. Ro R ssee, a Ne N w Yo York rk Cit ity y
he We W ll ll-deeve velo lope lo perr and pe an nd au uth thor orr of Th hich hi ch exp ch xplo plo l rrees in parrt Teemp m erred ed Cit i y, whi how ho w looww-co c stt greeen co n dev eveellop opme m nt can me n miti t ga gate te thee imp mpac pacts ts of ri risi sing ng glo l ba ball t mp te mpeerrat mper atur u es es an nd d cha hang ng gin ing g we weat athe at herr he paatt tter errns ns. R se Ro se say a s pr p og ogre r ss can re a no nott be mad adee in n draaft ftiin ftin ng ef effe feecttiivve cl clim imat atee st stra rate tegi gies es unti till na n tion tiion nal a lea eade ders de r agr rs gree eee the here re’s ’ss an isssu sue. e “W We ha have such uch sttro uc rong n sci cien e ti en tfi ficc evvid i en ence ce,” ,” he saaiid d. “W We ca can di disa sagr sa grreeee g on n how we’ e’re r goi re oing ng g to so s lve lve tth lv he prrob o leem mss, bu butt I wo w ulld hoopee we co coul ulld u moove ve tow owar a d an ar n agr gree eeemeent on th thee baasi sic ic fa fact ctss.”” That such a serious planetwide crris isis iss hass bec ecom om me a di d viide acr cros osss th he Amer Am eric iccan pol olit itic it ical ic all bat a tl tlefi efi field d “is a
t ag tr ged edy” y to Pe y” P te t r Kaalm lmus us, an n ear a th sccie ient ntis nt i t wi is with th the Jet e Pro r pu puls lsio ls ion io n L bo La bora rato tory y at Ca Calt l ec lt ech h in n Pas asad a en ad ena,, whoo aag wh greeeed d to bee int n er e vi view ew wed for o thi hiss stor ory y on his own beh ehal alff (n not on be b ha h lff o NAS of ASA, A, JPL or Ca Calt l ec ech) h). K lm Ka mu uss war arns ar ns tha h t cl clim im mat atee cha ch han ange is hap is appe peni pe ning ni n whe ng heth th her pol o it itic icia ic iaans n wan nt too tal alk ab abou o t itt or no ou not. t t. “C CO O2 2 mol olec ecculles e and inf nfra rare ra red re d phot ph oton ot onss do on don’ nt g n’ giivee a craap abbou ut pooliiti t cs cs, wh whetthe herr y yoou’’ree libber e al a or c nser co nss rva vati tive ti ve,, Re Repu publlic ican an n or De Demo moocr crat att orr any yth t in ing g el else ssee,” ,” Kal almu m s sa mu said id d. S ow Sl owin ing g cl clim im mate atte ch chan a ge will an illl bee ess ssen enti tial al,, si sinc ncce ad dap aptiing apti ng to al al itss im it mpa p ct ctss maay bbee imp mpos o siibl os ble. e. Gove Go vern rnme rn m nt me ntss must mu ust st striv trivve foor grea gr eate terr re reso sour urce ce effi ficie i nccy y,, sh hiiftt to rene re newa wabl blee en ener ergy gy and tra rans nssit itio ion n fr from om conv co nven enti tiion o al a to mo more re sussttaain i ab able l le agri ag riicult ricu cu ult ltur ural ur al pra al ract ctic ices es.. America’s lead ader ad errs m mu ust als lsoo im mpl plem e en em entt a caarbbon on pri rici cing ng sys yste tem, m, clim cl im mat atee ac acti t vi ti v st stss sa say, y tha y, hatt pl plac acees afi fina n nc na n ia iall bu urd rden en on fo foss ssil ss il fue uell prrod odu duc ucer erss an and d re redu duce du cess gr gree eeenh nhou ussee gass em ga mis i si sioon ns.. But u the here re may be litttle to ze litt li z ro hop opee th hat a succh a sy syst stem em m w lll be in wi inst s al st a le led d at the fed e er e all l ve le v l as a Tru rump mp p prreepa pare ress to t mov ovee
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FEATURE into the White House. Trump has actually threatened to reverse any commitments the United States agreed to in Paris. According to widely circulating reports, Trump has even selected a well-known skeptic of climate change, Myron Ebell, to head his U.S. Environmental Protection Agency transition team. Ebell is the director of the Center for Energy and Environment at the Competitive Enterprise Institute. Steve Valk, communications director for the Citizens’ Climate Lobby, says the results of the presidential election come as a discouraging setback in the campaign to slow emissions and global warming. “There’s no doubt that the steep hill we’ve been climbing just became a sheer cliff,” he said. “But cliffs are scalable.” Valk says the American public must demand that Congress implement carbon pricing. He says the government is not likely to face and attack climate change unless voters force them to. “The solution is going to have to come from the people,” he said. “Our politicians have shown that they’re just not ready to implement a solution on their own.”
AFTER PARIS There is no question the Earth is warming rapidly, and already this upward temperature trend is having impacts. It is disrupting agriculture. Glacial water sources are vanishing.
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Storms and droughts are becoming more severe. Altered winds and ocean currents are impacting marine ecosystems. So is ocean acidification, another outcome of carbon dioxide emissions. The sea is rising and eventually will swamp large coastal regions and islands. As many as 200 million people could be displaced by 2050. For several years in a row now, each year has been warmer than any year prior in recorded temperature records, and by 2100 it may be too hot for people to permanently live in the Persian Gulf. World leaders and climate activists made groundbreaking progress toward slowing these effects at the Paris climate conference. Here, leaders from 195 countries drafted a plan of action to reduce global greenhouse gas emissions and steer the planet off its predicted course of warming. The pact, which addresses energy, transportation, industries and agriculture — and which asks leaders to regularly upgrade their climate policies — is intended to keep the planet from warming by 2.7 degrees Fahrenheit between pre-industrial years and the end of this century. Scientists have forecast that an average global increase of 3.6 F will have devastating consequences for humanity. The United States pledged to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 26 percent from 2005 levels within a decade. China, Japan and nations of the European Union made similar promises. More recently, almost 200 nations agreed to phase out hydrofluorocarbons, extremely potent but short-lived greenhouse gases emitted by refrigerators and air
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
conditioners, and reduce the emissions from the shipping and aviation industries. But in the wake of such promising international progress, and as 2016 draws to a close as the third record warm year in a row, many climate activists are disconcerted both by United States leaders’ recent silence on the issue and by the outcome of the presidential election. Mark Sabbatini, editor of the newspaper Icepeople in Svalbard, Norway, believes shortsighted political scheming has pushed climate change action to the back burner. He wants to see politicians start listening to scientists. “But industry folks donate money and scientists get shoved aside in the interest of profits and reelection,” said Sabbatini, who recently had to evacuate his apartment as unprecedented temperatures thawed out the entire region’s permafrost, threatening to collapse buildings. Short-term goals and immediate financial concerns distract leaders from making meaningful policy advances on climate. “In Congress, they look two years ahead,” Sabbatini said. “In the Senate, they look six years ahead. In the White House, they look four years ahead.” The 300 nationwide chapters of the Citizens’ Climate Lobby are calling on local governments and chambers of commerce across America to voice support for a revenue-neutral carbon fee. The hope is that leaders in Congress will hear the demands of the people. This carbon fee would impose a charge on producers of oil, natural gas and coal. As a direct result, all products and services that depend on
or directly utilize those fossil fuels would cost more for consumers, who would be incentivized to buy less. Food shipped in from far away would cost more than locally grown alternatives. Gas for heating, electricity generated by oil and coal, and driving a car would become more expensive. “Bicycling would become more attractive, and so would electric cars and home appliances that use less energy,” said Kalmus, an advocate of the revenue-neutral carbon fee. Promoting this fee system is essentially the Citizens’ Climate Lobby’s entire focus. “This would be the most important step we take toward addressing climate change,” Valk said. By the carbon fee system, the revenue from fossil fuel producers would be evenly distributed by the collecting agencies among the public, perhaps via a tax credit. Recycling the dividends back into society would make it a fair system, Valk explains, since poorer people, who tend to use less energy than wealthier people to begin with and are therefore less to blame for climate change, would come out ahead. The system would also place a tariff on incoming goods from nations without a carbon fee. This would keep American industries from moving overseas and maybe even prompt other nations to set their own price on carbon. But there’s a problem with the revenue-neutral carbon fee, according to other climate activists: It doesn’t support social programs that may be aimed at reducing society’s carbon footprint. “It will put no money into
programs that serve disadvantaged communities who, for example, might not be able to afford weatherizing their home and lowering their energy bill, or afford an electric vehicle or a solar panel,” said Renata Brillinger, executive director of the California Climate and Agriculture Network. “It doesn’t give anything to public schools for making the buildings more energy efficient, and it wouldn’t give any money to farmers’ incentive programs for soil building.” Brillinger’s organization is advocating for farmers to adopt practices that actively draw carbon out of the atmosphere, like planting trees and maintaining ground cover to prevent erosion. Funding, she says, is needed to support such farmers, who may go through transitional periods of reduced yields and increased costs. California’s cap-and-trade system sets up an ample revenue stream for this purpose that a revenue-neutral system does not, according to Brillinger. But Valk says establishing a carbon pricing system must take into account the notorious reluctance of conservatives in Congress. “You aren’t going to get a single Republican in Congress to support legislation unless it’s revenue-neutral,” he said. “Any policy is useless if you can’t pass it in Congress.”
SEQUESTERING THE FARM In Washington, D.C., the nation’s leaders continue tussling over popular issues like immigration, taxes, healthcare, abortion, guns and foreign affairs. Climate change activists wish they would be thinking more
about soil. That’s because stopping greenhouse gas emissions alone will not stop climate change. The carbon dioxide emitted through centuries of industrial activity will continue to drive warming unless it is removed from the air and put somewhere. “There are only three places carbon can go,” Brillinger said. “It can go into the atmosphere, where we don’t want it, into the ocean, where we also don’t want it because it causes acidification, or into soil and woody plants where we do want it. Carbon is the backbone of all forests and is a critical nutrient of soil.” But most of the Earth’s soil carbon has been lost to the atmosphere, causing a spike in atmospheric carbon. In the 1700s, the Earth’s atmosphere contained less than 280 parts per million of carbon dioxide, according to scientists. Now, we are at more than 400 and counting. Climate experts generally agree that the atmospheric carbon level must be reduced to 350 or less if we are to keep at bay the most disastrous possible impacts of warming. This is why farmers and the soil they work will be so important in mitigating climate change. By employing certain practices and abandoning other ones, farmers and ranchers can turn acreage into valuable carbon sinks — a general agricultural approach often referred to as “carbon farming.” Conventional agriculture practices tend to emit carbon dioxide. Regular tilling of the soil, for example, causes soil carbon to bond with oxygen and float away as carbon dioxide. Tilling also causes erosion, as do deforestation and overgrazing. With erosion, soil
carbon enters waterways, creating carbonic acid — the direct culprit in ocean acidification. Researchers have estimated that unsustainable farming practices have caused as much as 80 percent of the world’s soil carbon to turn into carbon dioxide. By carbon farming, those who produce the world’s food can simultaneously turn their land into precious carbon sinks. The basic tenets of carbon farming include growing trees as windbreaks and focusing on perennial crops, like fruit trees and certain specialty grain varieties, which demand less tilling and disturbance of the soil. Eric Toensmeier, a senior fellow with the climate advocacy group Project Drawdown and the author of The Carbon Farming Solution, says many other countries are far ahead of the United States in both recognizing the importance of soil as a place to store carbon and funding programs that help conventional farmers shift toward carbon farming practices. France, for instance, initiated a sophisticated program in 2011 that calls for increasing soil carbon worldwide by 0.4 percent every year. Healthy soil can contain 10 percent carbon or more, and France’s program has the potential over time to decelerate the increase in atmospheric carbon levels. Toensmeier is optimistic about the progress being made in the United States, too. The U.S. Department of Agriculture funds programs that support environmentally friendly farming practices that protect watersheds or enhance wildlife habitat, largely through planting perennial grasses and trees.
“And it turns out a lot of the practices they’re paying farmers to do to protect water quality or slow erosion also happen to sequester carbon,” Toensmeier said. He says it appears obvious that the federal government is establishing a system by which they will eventually pay farmers directly to sequester carbon. Such a direct faceoff with climate change, however, may be a few years away still. Climate activists may even need to wait until 2021. “First we need a president who acknowledges that climate change exists,” Toensmeier said.
NATIONAL POLITICS AND CITY REFORM Climate reform advocates still talk about Bernie Sanders’ fiery attack on fracking as a source of global warming in the May primary debate with Hillary Clinton. “If we don’t get our act together, this planet could be 5 to 10 degrees warmer by the end of this century,” Sanders said then. “Cataclysmic problems for this planet. This is a national crisis.” Sanders was not exaggerating. The Earth has already warmed by 1.7 degrees since 1880, and it’s getting hotter. Even with the advances made in Paris, the world remains on track to be 6.1 degrees warmer by 2100 than it was in pre-industrial times, according to a United Nations emissions report released in early November. The authors of another paper published in January in the journal Nature predicted temperatures will rise as much as 10 degrees.
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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FEATURE In light of the scientiďŹ c consensus, conservatives’ denial of climate change looks childish at best and dangerous at worst. In low-lying Florida, so vulnerable to the rising sea, an unofďŹ cial policy from its Republican leadership has effectively muzzled state employees from even mentioning “climate changeâ€? and “global warmingâ€? in ofďŹ cial reports and communications. Republican senator Ted Cruz suggested NASA focus its research less on climate change and more on space exploration, according to The Christian Science Monitor. Most frightening of all, maybe, is the incoming American president’s stance on the matter: Trump said in a 2012 tweet that global warming is a Chinese hoax. In January 2014, during a brief spell of cold weather, he asked via Twitter, “Is our country still spending money on the GLOBAL WARMING HOAX?â€? While most of the rest of the world remains poised to advance emissions reductions goals, Trump is aiming in a different direction. The Trump-Pence website vows to “unleash America’s $50 trillion in untapped shale, oil, and natural gas reserves, plus hundreds
of years in clean coal reserves.â€? His webpage concerning energy goals only mentions reducing emissions once, and it makes no mention of climate change or renewable energy. While meaningful action at the federal level is probably years away, at the local level, progress is coming — even in communities led by Republicans, according to Rose. That, he says, is because local politicians face a level of accountability from which national leaders are often shielded. “At the city level, mayors have to deliver real results,â€? Rose said. “They have to protect their residents and make wise investments on behalf of their residents. The residents see what they’re doing and hold them accountable.â€? Restructuring and modifying our cities, which are responsible for about half of America’s carbon footprint, “will be critical toward dealing with climate change,â€? Rose said. “On the coast we’ll have sea level rise,â€? he said. “Inland, we’ll have ooding and heat waves. Heat waves cause more deaths than hurricanes.â€? Simply integrating nature into city infrastructure is a very low-cost but effective means for countering the changes that are coming, Rose says. Many cities, for example, are planting thousands of street trees. Trees draw in
atmospheric carbon as they grow and, through shade and evaporative cooling effects, can signiďŹ cantly reduce surface temperatures by as much as 6 degrees in some circumstances, Rose says. Laws and policies that take aim at reduced emissions targets can be very efďŹ cient tools for generating change across entire communities. However, Kalmus believes it’s important that individuals, too, reduce their own emissions through voluntary behavior changes, rather than simply waiting for change to come from leaders and lawmakers. “If you care about climate change, it will make you happier,â€? he said. “It makes you feel like you’re pioneering a new way to live. For others, you’re the person who is showing the path and making them realize it’s not as crazy as it seems.â€? Kalmus, who lives in Altadena, California, with his wife and two sons, has radically overhauled his lifestyle to reduce his carbon footprint. Since 2010 he has cut his own emissions by a factor of 10 — from 20 tons per year to just 2, by his own estimates. This personal transformation is the subject of his forthcoming book, Being the Change: Live Well and Spark a Climate Revolution, due out in 2017. Kalmus rides a bike most places, eats mostly locally grown food, raises
some of it in his own yard, has stopped eating meat and — one of the most important changes — has all but quit ying places. He hopes to serve as a model and help spark a transition to an economy that does not depend on constant growth, as ours currently does. One day, he believes, it will be socially unacceptable to burn fossil fuel, just as it’s become shunned to waste water in drought-dried California. The oil industry will eventually become obsolete. “We need to transition to an economy that doesn’t depend on unending growth,â€? Kalmus said. Unless we slow our carbon emissions and our population growth now, depletion of resources, he warns, will catch up with us. “We need to shift to a steadystate economy and a steady-state population,â€? he said. “Fossil-fueled civilization cannot continue forever.â€? Though Americans will soon have as president a man who is essentially advocating for climate change, Valk, at the Citizens’ Climate Lobby, expects time — and warming — to shift voter perspectives. “As more and more people are personally affected by climate change, like those recently ooded out in Louisiana and North Carolina,
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FEATURE people of all political persuasions will see that acting on climate change is not a matter of partisan preferences, but a matter of survival,” he said.
Alastair Bland is a freelance journalist in San Francisco, California. He writes about water, fisheries, agriculture and the environment, and his work has appeared at NPR. org, SmithsonianMag.com, the Sacramento News & Review and Yale E360.
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A CALL TO ACTION Six things leaders must prioritize to address climate change IMPOSE A PRICE ON CARBON This could occur in several ways. The revenue-neutral carbon fee has a great backbone of advocacy support. It would charge fossil fuel producers at the first point of sale, and the revenue would be distributed among the public. Prices of goods and services dependent on fossil fuels would go up, while people who buy less of those products and therefore contribute less to climate change would come out ahead. The revenue-neutral system’s one flaw, by some opinions, is that it doesn’t provide government with a new source of revenue for funding social systems that promote renewable energy, sustainable agriculture and other climate-focused measures. A cap-and-trade system, on the other hand, would fund public agencies while creating incentive for industries to pollute less. Republicans, however, tend to oppose cap and trade because it acts much like a tax on businesses that they argue will depress the economy.
CARBON FARMING Agriculture has been one of the greatest overall emitters of atmospheric carbon. Now, agriculture must play a role in reversing the damage done to the planet — and it’s theoretically a simple task: When plants grow, they draw carbon into their own mass and into the soil. All that a farmer needs to do is keep that carbon there. By planting long-standing trees and perennial row crops, farmers and other land managers have the power to sequester a great deal of the carbon dioxide that has been emitted into the atmosphere. In the process of slowing climate change, soils will become richer and healthier, with more natural productivity and greater water retention properties than depleted soils.
REDESIGN OUR CITIES Urban areas are responsible for more than half of America’s carbon footprint, by some estimates. The role of cities in driving climate change can be largely offset by turning linear material and waste streams — like water inputs — into circular loops that recycle precious resources. Jonathan F. P. Rose, author of The Well-Tempered City, says 98 percent of material resources that enter a city leave again, mostly as waste, within six months. Improving the
energy efficiency of buildings would be one very significant way to reduce a city’s carbon footprint. Upgrading transit systems and making streets more compatible with zero-emission transportation, like walking and riding a bicycle, would also cut emissions.
SHIFT TO RENEWABLE ENERGY This is a big one that has to be tackled, and it will mean fighting the powerful petroleum lobby. Generating electricity currently produces 30 percent of our greenhouse gas emissions, the single largest source by sector in the country, according to the United States Environmental Protection Agency. However, Donald Trump has promised to revive the American coal industry and tap into domestic reserves of natural gas and oil — quite the opposite of developing renewable energy technology.
STRIVE FOR LOW- TO ZERO-EMISSION TRANSPORTATION Driving your car — one of the most symbolic expressions of American freedom — contributes significantly to climate change. Transport accounts for 26 percent of U.S. greenhouse gas emissions, says the EPA. More than half of this total comes from private vehicles. Airplanes, ships and trains produce most of the rest. Against the will of the petroleum industry, national leaders must continue pressing for more efficient vehicles, as well as electric ones powered by clean electricity.
MAKE HOMES MORE EFFICIENT A single pilot light produces about a half ton of carbon dioxide per year, according to Peter Kalmus, author of the forthcoming book Being the Change: Live Well and Spark a Climate Revolution. That is just one example of how households contribute to climate change. According to the EPA, commercial and residential spaces produce 12 percent of the nation’s greenhouse gas emissions. In his book, Kalmus discusses how and why he took simple but meaningful action that reduced his carbon dioxide emissions from about 20 tons per year to just two. — Alastair Bland
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
everything you should do this week
GET OUT WED
the Crimson Grin will perform along with Vivacious Miss Audacious, Gurl Haggard of the Rocket Doll Revue and other special guests. Expect to see tassel twirling, hoop dance, fire eating, acrobatics and “just enough audience participation to get you hooked.” The show starts at 9 tonight at the Five O’Clock Lounge. Tickets are $8 in advance, and $10 at the door. (Niesel) 11904 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, 216-521-4906.
11/30
SPOKEN WORD
Cleveland Stories Dinner Party Earlier this year, Music Box Supper Club launched Cleveland Stories Dinner Party, a weekly series that pairs fine food with storytelling. The series aims to help raise awareness of the mission of the Western Reserve Historical Society’s new Cleveland History Center. The club’s owners consider the Cleveland History Center to be “one of the most interesting museums in Cleveland” and “an unknown gem that Clevelanders should know more about and support.” The goal of the Cleveland Stories Dinner Party is to “bring to life some of the fun, interesting stories about Cleveland’s past — from sports, to rock ’n’ roll, to Millionaires’ Row.” Each week features a guest speaker and a custom prix fixe menu — a full threecourse meal for only $20. The popular series resumes tonight at 7:30 with veteran broadcaster Mike Olszewski, who’ll talk about Holiday TV Shows. The special menu features cranberry salad, “Bumpous Hounds Turkey” and pumpkin pie. Admission is free. (Jeff Niesel) 1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com.
SPOKEN WORD
Chef and culinary historian Michael Twitty speaks at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. See: Thursday.
the State Theatre, where performances continue through Sunday. Tickets start at $15. (Niesel) 1519 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
FILM
Dog Day Afternoon This month and next month, the Cleveland Museum of Art pays tribute to the late, great writer-director Sidney Lumet by showing many of his films. At 6:45 p.m. today and Friday, it shows 1975’s Dog Day Afternoon, a film about a bank robbery that goes awry, as bank robberies often do. Al Pacino and John Cazale star. Tickets cost $11, or $9 for CMA members, seniors and students. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org. DANCE
George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker with the Pennsylvania Ballet Two years ago, huge audiences headed to Playhouse Square to see the Cleveland Orchestra’s presentation of The Nutcracker. This year, the orchestra teams up with the Pennsylvania Ballet for performances of George Balanchine’s The Nutcracker. Expect “brilliant costumes, larger-than-life scenery, entrancing storytelling and breathtaking dancing.” The first performance takes place tonight at 7 at
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team has been beating opponents by an average of more than 13 points. They should make for a tough matchup tonight when the Cavs take them on at the Q at 8 p.m. Tickets start at $26. (Niesel) 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, theqarena.com.
A Place at the Table The Cleveland Museum of Natural History, Maltz Museum of Jewish Heritage and Case Western Reserve’s Baker-Nord Center for the Humanities have teamed up to bring renowned chef and culinary historian Michael Twitty to town tonight for A Place at the Table. Black, gay and Jewish, Twitty believes everything is political, including food. He will examine privilege, challenge cultural appropriation and discuss culinary justice, the idea that “historically oppressed peoples have a right to authority, sovereignty, prosperity and acknowledgment for their contribution to national and global foodways.” Tickets are $12, or $10 for members of the Cleveland Museum of Natural History and Maltz Museum, or $6 for students and educators. (Niesel) 1 Wade Oval Dr., 216-231-4600, cmnh.org. THEATER
COMEDY
SPOKEN WORD
Jeff Blanchard Comedian Jeff Blanchard has attitude to spare, and nothing is out of bounds for him. Topics of humor include kiddie porn, ragging on the Browns, and badmouthing the lovely town of Elyria. Some of the things he says are slightly offensive, but it’s all in good fun as this Cleveland native brings in that trademark ironic sense of humor. (You have to be tough, after all.) He takes the stage tonight at 7:30 at the Improv, and tickets are $15. (Liz Trenholme) 1148 Main Ave., 216-696-IMPROV, clevelandimprov.com.
A Global Perspective with Rick Steves When it comes to travel, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone more knowledgeable than guidebook author and travel TV/radio host Rick Steves. With tonight’s A Global Perspective with Rick Steves lecture, he aims to “make you smarter with a better understanding of the interconnectedness of today’s world.” In the live presentation, he’ll explain how to travel “more thoughtfully” to any destination. The event takes place at 7:30 at Connor Palace. Tickets are $15 to $50. (Niesel) 1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
SPORTS
Cavaliers vs. Los Angeles Clippers Injuries derailed the Los Angeles Clippers playoff run last year as the Portland Trail Blazers beat the shorthanded team in the first round. This year, a healthy Clippers squad has been dominant. Clearly one of the best teams in the Western Conference, the
BURLESQUE
Luxotica Lounge Cabaret The local burlesque troupe Luxotica Lounge Cabaret offers “stunning striptease talent with a twist.” The group offers “a lot of seduction” set to exotic original tunes performed live. The touring act Whirlwind with
The Santaland Diaries The Santaland Diaries returns to Playhouse Square in a production by Cleveland Public Theatre. Now a staple of Christmas in Cleveland, this onehour memoir by gay humorist David Sedaris, relating his incarceration (er, employment) as an elf in Macy’s Santa Village, was a huge hit when he read it on National Public Radio back in the day. Since then, it has been staged locally at many venues featuring many different actors. This time around, the talented performer Ray Caspio steps into the curly-toed slippers and green velvet tunic of the elf Crumpet. Tonight’s performance takes place at the Outcault Theatre, where performances continue through Dec. 18. Tickets are $30. (Christine Howey) 1407 Euclid Ave, 216-640-8669, playhousesquare.org. COMEDY
Harland Williams With his high-pitched nasally voice, comedian Harland Williams is an
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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GET OUT acquired taste. His vocal delivery might get on your nerves, but he’s got good material. In one routine, he likes to joke that, once the oceans rise, he’ll have to pull his picnic table back 4 feet. “Global warming is dangerous — I could throw my back out,” he says sarcastically. Williams begins a threenight stand tonight at 8 at Hilarities. Tickets start at $25. (Niesel) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.
FRI
12/02
FUNDRAISER
Behind the Camera with Tom Hanks Each year, the Greater Cleveland Film Commission brings a Hollywood type to town for Behind the Camera, its signature fundraising event. In the past, GCFC hosted the cast of HBO’s Band of Brothers and directors Joe and Anthony Russo who, at the time, were in post-production for their blockbuster hit Captain America: Civil War. This year, actor Tom Hanks will sit down with WKYC Channel 3 anchor Russ Mitchell in “an intimate setting” for a conversation about his career, his Cleveland roots and the impact of filming in Northeast Ohio. The event takes place at 8 tonight at the InterContinental Cleveland Hotel. Tickets start at $250. Register on the website. (Niesel) 8800 Euclid Ave., 216-344-7471, clevelandfilm.com.
Miracle on Erie Street, the weekendlong holiday celebration that includes tomorrow night’s annual holiday tree lighting. The event benefits Downtown Willoughby Organization and Willoughby-Eastlake Schools’ Food Pantry. Day-of tickets are $20. (Niesel) sceneholidaybarblast.com. NIGHTLIFE
Mix: Next Cleveland Museum of Art’s Mix Happy Hours take place on the first Friday of
at the door. It’s free for CMA members. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org. SPORTS
Monsters vs. Milwaukee Admirals The Cavs NBA title undoubtedly overshadowed the Cleveland Monsters’ Calder Cup win, but the AHL team won the hearts of local hockey fans with its lengthy playoff run that culminated in a championship.
GIve tHe gifT oF RoCk
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BURLESQUE
Star Wars Burlesque Eight-time winner of Florida’s Best of the Bay and voted Best Burlesque of Tampa, Vita DeVoid has been called the “Chameleon of Burlesque” and the “Johnny Depp of Burlesque” for all her brilliant disguises and costumes. She will be on hand tonight for Star Wars Burlesque, at 7:30 at the Beachland Ballroom. Dimples Diamond, a Columbus-based artist who’s the co-manager, principal dancer and graphics designer for Crimson Lace Cabaret, which was voted Ohio’s Best Burlesque Troupe of 2015 and 2016, will also perform, as will local performers like Bella Sin, who’ll portray Darth Vader, and Noella Deville, who will reprise her Boba Fett routine and introduce a new Jabba the Hut number. Organizers will also host a special raffle of Star Wars items for the LGBT Center of Cleveland. Tickets are $15 to $25. (Niesel) 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com. COMEDY
HOLIDAY FUN
Holiday Bar Blast Scene’s Holiday Bar Blast returns to downtown Willoughby tonight. Join us as we eat, drink and merrily make our way through downtown Willoughby’s bars including Willoughby Brewing Company, the Morehouse Willoughby, the 1899 Pub, Frank and Tony’s Place, Mullarkey’s Irish Pub, Ballantine, the Wild Goose and Nickleby’s Roundbar. Ticket price includes drink specials at all eight participating bars, light appetizers during checkin and a special present from Santa. Participants will be divided into eight groups, and each group will start at a different bar. Choose from Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen or Rudolph. Pick your group when you buy your ticket. After check-in at Willoughby Brewing Company, groups will head out with their captains to their assigned bars. Every 30 minutes, your captain will blow a whistle and you’ll blast over to the next bar. The event is part of
tomorrow night. The first 1,000 kids under 14 will receive a free day pass to Castaway Bay. (Niesel) 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, theqarena.com.
Get official Rock Hall gear for the music fan in your family, or give yourself the rock star treatment! Inductee t-shirts, vinyl collections, year-long memberships and more gift items can be found in store and online. Order by Dec. 16 for delivery by Christmas Eve!
rockhallstore.com 216.515.8444 1100 Rock and Roll Blvd. Cleveland, OH 44114
the month and feature a slew of special activities. At today’s event, dubbed Mix: Next, you can be the first to see new exhibit Albert Oehlen: Woods Near Oehle. There will be drinks, music and more as the museum celebrates its centennial year. Mix runs from 5 to 10 p.m. Tickets are $8 in advance, or $10
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
Tonight at 7 at the Q, the team battles the Milwaukee Admirals. As part of 1-2-3 Fridays, there will be $1 Pepsi products, $2 Sugardale hot dogs and $3 beers at tonight’s game. In addition, the first 10,000 fans will receive a Calder Cup Champions wall calendar. The two teams face off again at 6
Steve Wilson Comedian Steve Wilson admits that his body is “falling apart.” In one bit, he talks about his kidney stones and how painful it was that a “rock came out of my penis.” It’s worse than giving birth, he says. “I didn’t take it home and name it and tell people it looks like me,” he says. He freely jokes about both black and white culture while using stereotypes to his own advantage. A natural storyteller, he delivers his jokes with impeccable timing. The show starts at 7:30 tonight at the Improv. Tickets are $20, and performances continue through Sunday. (Niesel) 1148 Main Ave., 216-696-IMPROV, clevelandimprov.com.
SAT
12/03
FILM
The Big Lebowski Originally released in 1988, the Coen Brothers’ flick The Big Lebowski has become a cult classic that regularly makes appearances in the Cedar Lee Theatre’s Late Shift series. The film centers on the Dude (Jeff Bridges), a slacker/bowler who becomes the victim of mistaken identity when he is assaulted. The film features a slew of cameos by actors such as John Turturro, Philip Seymour Hoffman,
THIS FRIDAY! DOWNTOWN WILLOUGHBY’S
FRIDAY DECEMBER 2, 2016 | 7 – MIDNIGHT
TICKETS: $15 PRESALE / DAY A OF $20 @ SCENEHOLIDAYBARBLAST.COM GUESTS RECEIVE A HOLIDAY GIFT BAG WITH PRESENTS LIKE A SOUVENIR SHOT GLASS,GLOVES, EARMUFFS, CHAPSTICK AND MORE PLUS GET DRINK SPECIALS AT EACH PARTICIPATING BAR AND LIGHT APPETIZERS DURING CHECK-IN. Holiday Bar Blast is part of the weekend-long event that brings the Holiday Spirit to Downtown Willoughby including the Miracle on Eric Street Annual Tree Lighting. Visit miracleoneriestreet.com for more information. BRING THREE (3) NON-PERISHABLE FOODS FOR THE WILLOUGHBY-EASTLAKE SCHOOLS FOOD BANK AND RECEIVE COMPLIMENTARY BEER FROM WILLOUGHBY BREWING COMPANY DURING REGISTRATION.
Miracle On
erie street
l ghby willlou
PROUDLY BENEFITTING THE DOWNTOWN WILLOUGHBY GHBY ORGANIZATIO ORGANIZATION AND THE WILLOUGHBY-EASTLAKE UGHBY-EASTLAKE Y-EASTLAKE KE E SCHOOLS SCHOOLS FOOD PANTRY | clevescene.com m | November 30 - December 6,, 2016
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GET OUT Sam Elliott, Tara Reid and David Thewlis. It screens at 9:30 p.m. and midnight tonight at the Cedar Lee Theatre, where it shows again at 7 tomorrow night. Tickets are $6. (Niesel) 2163 Lee Rd., Cleveland Heights, 216-321-5411, clevelandcinemas.com.
FILM
Rocky Horror Picture Show It’s the first Saturday of the month, so that means the Cedar Lee Theatre will host a midnight screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, the 1975 film that still draws an exuberant, costumed crowd that likes to throw rice and dry toast and sing along to the songs in the movie. Tickets are $9.50. (Niesel) 2163 Lee Rd., Cleveland Heights, 216-321-5411, clevelandcinemas.com.
HOLIDAY FUN
Light Up Lakewood For the 10th consecutive year, Lakewood will host Light Up Lakewood tonight, a free holiday celebration that features a parade, lighting ceremony, fireworks, live music, ice carvings, hot chocolate, food trucks, children’s games and more. Last year’s event drew an estimated 25,000 guests. This year’s event will start with lunch with Santa at Dewey’s Pizza from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. There will be a Vendor Village inside the historic Masonic Hall and live entertainment provided by bands, choirs and dancers. The lighting ceremony takes place at 6:30 p.m. at City Center Park. A fireworks show follows. (Niesel) lakewoodalive.org. MUSIC
North Coast Men’s Chorus: Our Gay Apparel The North Coast Men’s Chorus brings its annual holiday concert, Our Gay Apparel, to the Hanna Theatre today. The group’s concerts feature songs that range from classic carols to current pop versions. The group’s singular style of humor, dance and harmonies distinguish it from other regional holiday acts. Today’s concerts take place at 3 and 8 p.m. The chorus performs again tomorrow at 3 p.m. Tickets are $20 to $45 in advance, $25 to $50 on the day of. (Niesel) 2067 East 14th St., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org. THEATER
WJW.CLEVELAND
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
The Nutcracker In years past, Akron Beacon Journal readers have voted the Ballet Theatre of Ohio’s production of The Nutcracker as Akron’s No. 1 holiday show. Set on Christmas Eve, the ballet — as you undoubtedly know — centers on a young heroine and her doll. As the clock strikes midnight, magical things begin to happen. The ballet’s performances of the Christmas classic take place today at 2 and 7 p.m. at the Akron Civic Theatre, where additional performances are set for tomorrow at 2 p.m. Tickets are $34 to $46. (Niesel) 182 South Main St., Akron, 330-253-2488, akroncivic.com.
SUN
12/04
COMEDY
Cleveland Improv Jam The Angry Ladies of Improv has hosted the Cleveland Improv Jam for four years now. A few years back, Scene described the show as “fierce, formidable and very funny.” The women have some serious experience too. Katie White-Sonby is an actress who’s performed at Clague Playhouse, Karamu and Kennedy’s Cabaret. Marjorie Preston is an alumna of Something Dada and Rockwell 9 improvisational comedy troupes. Brenna “MC” Connor is an actress and improviser. The evening begins with a short-form set of improv games, followed by a long-form improv set. It begins at 5 p.m. at Coffee Phix. Arrive early if you want to sign up and perform. Admission is free. (Niesel) 4485 Mayfield Rd., South Euclid, 216-381-5706, coffeephixcafe.com. THEATER
Alan Cumming Sings Sappy Songs Singer/actor Alan Cumming has done it all: He’s had gigs as a political maverick (The Good Wife), a “pansexual pied piper” (Cabaret), a cartoon-character voice (The Smurfs) and an “all-knowing, affable host” (PBS-TV’s Masterpiece Mystery). When he brings Alan Cumming Sings Sappy Songs to Connor Palace tonight at 7:30, he’ll offer up “a raucous and emotional firestorm of wildly entertaining stories — from sassy to sentimental” as he takes on songs from such diverse artists as Noël Coward, Stephen Sondheim and Adele. The show recreates his famous Carlyle Hotel cabaret residency, which began as postshow entertainment in his dressing room during the Broadway revival of Cabaret, for which he won a Tony Award. (He’s also won Golden Globe, Emmy, SAG and Satellite Award nominations.) Tickets start at $10. (Niesel) 1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
THIS FRIDAY!
SCENE Magazine presents
HOLIDAY BAR BLAST Cleveland SCENE's most spirited pub crawl, Holiday Bar Blast, returns to Downtown Willoughby’s Friday, December 2. Join us as we eat, drink and merrily make our way through Downtown Willoughby bars including Willoughby Brewing Company, The Morehouse Willoughby, The 1899 Pub, Frank and Tony’s Place, Mullarkey’s Irish Pub, Ballantine, The Wild Goose and Nickleby’s Roundbar. Part of the weekend-long Miracle on Erie Street Celebration and benefiting The Downtown Willoughby Association and Willoughby-Eastlake Schools Food Pantry. Tickets are $15 in advance and include gift bag, light appetizers during check-in and drink specials at the 8 participating bars. Friday, December 2, 2016 | Downtown Willoughby sceneholidaybarblast.com
SCENE Magazine presents
FLAVOR FLAVOR celebrates the local culinary scene by bringing together leading Cleveland restaurants. Select beer, wine and cocktails add to the VIP-style soiree that is, FLAVOR. Food and drink lovers enjoy the top, most highly regarded restaurants and bars in Cleveland. Back by popular demand, the “Culinary Showdown” returns to FLAVOR this year. Top chefs from Cleveland will create a unique, mouth-watering dish. Each chef will have 30 minutes to stir up a winning quick-fire dish to impress our judges! Tickets are $40 in advance and include unlimited food and drink tastings and live entertainment. Thursday, December 15, 2016 Lago Custom Events at Aloft Cleveland Downtown sceneflavor.com
SCENE Magazine presents
UNITED WE BRUNCH There’s no better way to chase away a hangover than brunch with friends. And SCENE is once again bringing together the best restaurants in town with one mission: unite to cure Cleveland’s hangover. Brunch tastings, Bloody Mary’s, mimosas, beer, wine and champagne - all in the historic, newly-renovated Galleria & Tower. It’s the ultimate cure for a Friday night party — and a great start to another night on the town! General Admission tickets are $40 in advance and include 5 drink tickets, unlimited brunch tastings and commemorative glass. VIP tickets are $60 in advance and include early entry, 8 drink tickets, unlimited brunch tastings, commemorative glass, VIP seating and access for full bar. Limited availability. Saturday, January 21, 2017 | Galleria & Tower at Erieview scenebrunch.com
F I N D O U T A B O U T T H E S E E V E N T S A N D M O R E AT C L E V E S C E N E T I C K E T S . C O M
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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GET OUT HOLIDAY FUN
HE’S BACK! NOV 25 - DEC 23 ALLEN THEATRE
Holiday Circlefest The 23rd annual Holiday CircleFest, which takes place today from noon to 7 p.m. at University Circle, includes activities at more than a dozen of UC’s museums, gardens, galleries, churches and schools, where guests will find music, food, fun and shopping. On Wade Oval there will be skating at the Rink, ice carving demos, horse-drawn carriage rides and other activities. The Cleveland Museum of Art hosts a Winter Lights Lantern Procession at 5:30 p.m. Admission is free. (Niesel) universitycircle.org. HOLIDAY FUN
written by PHILIP GRECIAN directed by JOHN McCLUGGAGE based on the motion picture written by JEAN SHEPHERD, LEIGH BROWN & BOB CLARK
TICKETS START AT $25 216.241.6000 | clevelandplayhouse.com
4530 COLORADO AVE., SHEFFIELD VILLAGE, OH IRVING BERLIN’S
WHITE CHRISTMAS THE MUSICAL
Holiday Havoc Merch Mart If you hate shopping but love art, you’ll find the Holiday Havoc Merch Mart appealing. Some of the better artists and designers in Northeast Ohio will be on hand today from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. to sell their wares DIY-style at the Plum Cafe & Kitchen in Ohio City. There will be custommade posters, prints, original art, pins and clothing. Featured artists and vendors include Ali Forbes, Burrito Breath, Buttcoffin, Carlos Villagra, Charlie Wagers, Future No Future, Grace Frank, Hell and Back Collective, Jonah Oryszak, Katy Kosman, Mike Sobeck, Jason Look, Joe Lanzilotta, Okpants and Oliver Barrett. Holiday Havoc will offer Filipino food courtesy of local eatery Carabao, as well as beers and special cocktails. Admission is free, but due to limited space, RSVPs are required. Make yours on Eventbrite. (Niesel) 4133 Lorain Ave., 216-258-9947, eventbrite.com.
NIGHTLIFE
Prohibition Repeal Party Every year, Prosperity Social Club hosts a Prohibition Repeal Party that includes live music, dinner specials and drinks. This year’s event takes place at 7 tonight. Cheekily named drink selections include the F. Scott Fitzgerald Rolls-Royce, the Tuxedo Cocktail, the Ernest Hemingway Special and a fruity Planter’s Punch that utilizes the readily available rums that were being run from Cuba to Florida during Prohibition. Food options include references to FDR’s America with throwback comfort-food platters like the Fried White-Bread Bologna sandwich with homemade chips, or City Chicken with mashed potatoes and braised red cabbage. The local swing and jazz group Hollywood Slim will perform from 7 to 9 p.m. There’s no cover for the Prohibition Repeal Party, and Flinner encourages Hemingway- and Fitzgerald-inspired costumes or attire reminiscent of bootleggers, rumrunners, mobsters, flappers, WPA artists, crooners or movie stars. (Niesel) 1109 Starkweather Ave., 216-937-1938, prosperitysocialclub.com. FILM
Running on Empty This month and next, the Cleveland Museum of Art pays tribute to the late, great writer-director Sidney Lumet by showing many of his films. At 1:30 p.m. today, it screens his 1988 movie Running on Empty, about a fugitive family that struggles when its teen son Danny (River Phoenix) decides to embark on a life of his own. Tickets cost $11, or $9 for CMA members, seniors and students. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.
MON
12/05
FOOD MUSIC
MUSIC & LYRICS BY IRVING BERLIN BOOK BY DAVID IVES AND PAUL BLAKE BASED UPON THE PARAMOUNT PICTURES FILM WRITTEN FOR THE SCREEN BY NORMAN KRASNA, NORMAN PANAMA AND MELVIN FRANK
DECEMBER 2 - 18
FRIDAYS & SATURDAYS AT 7:30 PM AND SUNDAYS AT 3 PM TICKETS: $10-$18 | (440) 949-5200 OR WWW.METROPARKS.CC/THEATRE SPONSORED BY:
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
Oberlin Contemporary Music Ensemble Today as part of the Cleveland Museum of Art’s Performing Arts series, the Oberlin Contemporary Music Ensemble presents a series of programs under the direction of Tim Weiss, the recipient of the Adventurous Programming Award from the American Symphony Orchestra League. The concert, which takes place at 2 p.m., includes Jacob Druckman’s Counterpoise, Judith Weir’s Piano Concerto and Augusta Read Thomas’ Selene. Tickets are $10; it’s free for CMA members and students. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org.
Industry Brunch Brunch isn’t just a Saturday/Sunday thing. Over at Mahall’s, you can grab a great brunch on Mondays as the club caters to industry folks who have the day off. Not that you have to work in the restaurant industry to indulge. The menu features items such as Chicken and Donuts, a dish that features three pieces of fried chicken along with two Old Hushers doughnuts. Other staples include the Everything Pretzel and the Creamy Egg Sandwich. A live DJ from WCSB will be on hand to spin cool tunes too. It runs from noon to 4. (Niesel) 13200 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216-521-3280, mahalls20lanes.com.
GET OUT NIGHTLIFE
Monday Night Trivia Do you have tons of obscure music knowledge? Are you a student of fast food menus and their nuanced histories? What say you about the geographic evolution of Scotch whisky? Tonight’s your chance to wow your friends, make yourself instantly more desirable to someone you’re newly dating, and hang with Cleveland’s headiest hipsters and hot dog lovers. It’s the Happy Dog Monday Night Trivia. Starting at 8 p.m., expect themed rounds — it’s a crapshoot — and general knowledge questions that seem considerably trickier than some of the other live trivia locales in town. Obviously, have a hot dog and a craft brew while you’re at it. And arrive early. The tables ďŹ ll up quickly. (Sam Allard) 5801 Detroit Ave., 216-651-9474, happydogcleveland.com. FILM
Movie Mondays Every Monday, Cleveland Cinemas hosts $6 Movie Mondays, where ďŹ lm fans can catch up on the
latest Hollywood icks for signiďŹ cantly reduced prices. Theaters include Apollo Theatre, Capitol Theatre, Cedar Lee Theatre, Chagrin Cinemas, Shaker Square Cinemas and Tower City Cinemas. clevelandcinemas.com. SPOKEN WORD
Toward a Cultural History of the Backbeat In a famous sermon given to his Nashville congregation in 1956 —captured on ďŹ lm and now on display at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame — Rev. Jimmy Snow preaches passionately about the evils of rock music, speciďŹ cally the backbeat. Steven Baur, an associate professor of musicology at the Fountain School of Performing Arts at Dalhousie University in Halifax, Nova Scotia, will trace the origins of the backbeat to several 19th- and early 20thcentury African-American musical traditions in his lecture, Toward a Cultural History of the Backbeat. He speaks tonight at 7 at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame’s Library and Archives on the Tri-C campus. Admission is free with a RSVP through the Rock Hall website. (Niesel) 2809 Woodland Ave., 216-515-1956, library.rockhall.com.
TUE
12/06
MUSIC
Classical Revolution Cleveland Classical Revolution Cleveland helps tear down the wall between classical music and everyday people. Showcasing a variety of performers in bars, cafes and the like, it’s actually not that different from how people used to listen to chamber music. The ďŹ rst Tuesday of every month, CRC brings its wide array of chamber music to Happy Dog. Performers like the Trepanning Trio, Anime Duo, students of Cleveland Institute of Music and even Cleveland Orchestra members grace the stage in these exciting concerts. Tonight’s free, all-ages performance starts at 8. (Patrick Stoops) 11625 Euclid Ave., 216-231-5400, happydogcleveland.com. THEATER
Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas: The Musical A record-setting Broadway hit that features songs such as “You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch� and “Welcome Christmas,� Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas: The Musical puts a spin on the original animated special. In this adaptation, Max the Dog narrates, as the Grinch, that nasty guy
whose heart is “two sizes too small,� tries to steal Christmas away from the adorable Whos. The performance takes place at 7 tonight at Connor Palace, where the musical run continues through Dec. 11. Tickets are $10 to $80. (Niesel) 1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org. FILM
Nerdland A new animated feature that screens at area theaters tonight at 8, Nerdland follows showbiz buddies John (Paul Rudd) and Elliot (Patton Oswalt) as they try to transform themselves from Hollywood nobodies to viral somebodies. Tonight’s event also includes a cast discussion recorded live at Beyond Fest in Hollywood. It features standup comedian and moderator Blaine Capatch — along with the ďŹ lm’s stars Patton Oswalt, Kate Micucci, John Ennis and Brendon Small — as well as director Chris Prynoski and writer/producer Andrew Kevin Walker. An exclusive short ďŹ lm from Titmouse Animation Studios will also screen. (Niesel) Fathomevents.com.
Find more events @clevescene.com t@clevelandscene
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ART SHOP LOCAL CLE Creates brings treasure trove of holiday shopping opportunities By Josh Usmani FOR MORE THAN A DECADE, Northeast Ohio’s artists, crafters and makers of all kinds have been at the forefront of the independent, DIY or “shop local” movements sweeping across the country and internet. In typical Cleveland style, these events are choosing to cooperate instead of compete with each other. This weekend, six local-art holiday markets are teaming up for what will be the largest holiday event in the region, showcasing local and regional artists. CLE Creates is a collaborative effort by organizers of the ArtCraft Building, Cleveland Bazaar, Screw Factory, Terra Vista Studios, Tower Press and Zygote Press. “Cleveland has a long-standing tradition of holiday arts events. This is ArtCraft’s 29th annual sale, Bazaar has been doing holiday shows since 2004 [and] the Screw Factory has been doing open studios of various kinds for 15-plus years,” says Shannon Okey, founder of the Cleveland Bazaar. “By working collaboratively to crosspromote and raise awareness of just how much is happening over that weekend, we hope to reach not only our existing supporters but also new ones, and to expand opportunities for everyone.” Each event has separate hours, but all the events take place over the weekend of Dec. 2 to 4. In addition to attracting local shoppers, the group
is using their collaborative efforts to reach out to a broader audience. “With so many different artsfocused buildings being open to the public all at once, we wanted to have a one-stop info shop online where potential attendees could find out just how many buildings (and how many artists) were open and selling over the course of this one weekend,” Okey says. “Tony [D’Alessandro, representing the Screw Factory] and I met with Destination Cleveland recently so they could reach out to their base, including hotel concierges and other visitor-friendly staff, and get the word out that this is the weekend to come to Cleveland if you’re an arts lover.” The weekend begins with the Annual Holiday Open Studio at the Screw Factory (aka, the Lake Erie Building, 13000 Athens Ave., Lakewood); hours are from 6 to 10 p.m. on Friday, and 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Saturday. This annual open studio includes both resident artists and guest artists and vendors. While the event is free, organizers are hosting a food drive, and encourage guests to bring non-perishable food items to be donated to St. Augustine’s and Lakewood Community Service Center. Bins will be outside the entrance. All weekend long, Terra Vista Studios (1400 East 30th St.) hosts its Holiday Sale. Hours are 11 a.m.
ArtCraft Building artists
Photo by Emanuel Wallace
Cleveland Bazaar
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
to 4 p.m. on Friday; noon to 7 p.m. on Saturday; and noon to 4 p.m. on Sunday. The show includes Terra Vista Studio artists, other tenants of the building and more than a dozen guest artists displaying gifts and works of art including clay and metal sculptures, hand-knit accessories, drawings, industrial inspired furniture and much more. Back in the early 1980s, students at the Cleveland Institute of Art created a pop-up shop known as the Bohemian Department Store at the Tower Press Building (1900 Superior Ave.). More than 30 years later, Tower Press continues to host its annual Open Studios and Holiday Sale. This year’s event takes place from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Saturday, and features resident artists of the building. Now in its 29th year, the ArtCraft Holiday Open Studio and Sale is one of the season’s biggest events for local artists. Dozens of artists will sell original art and handmade gifts including paintings, ceramics, glass, mixed media, metals, wood, furniture, jewelry, clothing and accessories, as well as handcrafted confectionaries, candles, soaps, perfume and more. In addition to hosting local artists, organizers also provide space for Friends of the Cleveland Kennel and the Catholic Charities Benefit Cleveland Field Kitchen and Salt & Honey Bakery in Fount. The sale takes place
from 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. on Saturday, and 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Sunday at 2570 Superior Ave. Zygote Press (1410 East 30th St.) hosts its annual Off the Wall Holiday Show, featuring handmade gifts such as prints, cards, handmade books, scratch pads and more created by the printmakers of Zygote Press. Off the Wall opens with a reception from 1 to 3 p.m. this Saturday, and continues on Sunday. Extended weekend shopping hours are from noon to 6 p.m. on Saturday and noon to 4 p.m. on Sunday. The Cleveland Bazaar’s event at Lake Affect Studios (1615 East 25th St.) is one of several the group has scheduled during the holiday season. (In total, organizers will exhibit the works of nearly 300 local artists at venues such as 78th Street Studios, which has its shopping event on Dec. 10 and 11). This weekend’s show at Lake Affect features more than 70 guest artists, in addition to Lake Affect’s resident artists. The Cleveland Bazaar at Lake Affect Studios takes place from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. this Saturday. Organizers ask guests to use and follow #CLEcreates on social media. For more information, visit clecreates.com.
jusmani@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene
STAGE HOLIDAY THEATER PREVIEW, 2016 Or, how to have fun on the brink of the apocalypse By Christine Howey NOW THAT WE’VE DISPENSED with Thanksgiving Day and all the things for which we’re thankful (now that we’re living in Trumpworld, it didn’t take that long for some of us), it’s time to look at what local theaters have devised for our holiday amusement. Yes, I said “holiday” and not “Christmas,” since there are still people in this country who don’t actually celebrate Christmas. And before it becomes a felony to be courteous and use the word “holiday,” I thought I’d just trot it out once more for old time’s sake. First, let’s pay some attention to the traditional shows that always show up this time of year. The granddaddy of them all in Cleveland is A Christmas Carol (now through Dec. 23 at Great Lakes Theater), which is in its 28th year. There are a couple new wrinkles to this story of Scrooge, since it will be directed by Tom Ford and feature Lynn Robert Berg as the crotchety old coot Ebenezer, who finds his humanity thanks to some ghostly visitors. Right nearby at the Allen Theatre, the Cleveland Play House is already immersed in another encore presentation of A Christmas Story (through Dec. 23). Ralphie is the kid who wants an air rifle for Christmas, long before that could have been viewed as an NRA-friendly political statement. It’s all based on the gentle, witty anecdotes spun by Jean Shepherd, who also knew a little something about humanity. The elf is back — yes, the gay one with an attitude problem — in The Santaland Diaries (Dec. 1-18, Outcalt Theatre). For the second year, Ray Caspio lends his electric stage presence to Crumpet, the elf at Macy’s who is based on the David Sedaris semi-autobiographical story that premiered on National Public Radio eons ago. The delightful Peter and the Starcatcher (Dec. 2-31, Dobama Theatre) is back for the second year. This musical prequel to Peter Pan has all the elements of that play — the pirates, the croc, the boy who won’t grow up — all mashed together using inventive stagecraft. Although it’s not a traditional
continuum). With that much in the mix, how can you go wrong? As usual, the innovative and industrious theaters in Cleveland are here to keep our spirits up during this holiday season. And let’s face it, some of us need all the good and powerful spirits — of any and all kinds — given where we’re headed.
Beck Center 17801 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, 216-521-2540, beckcenter.org.
Blank Canvas Theatre at the West 78th Street Studios, 440-941-0458, blankcanvastheatre.com.
convergence-continuum at the Liminis, 2438 Scranton Rd., 216-687-0074, convergence-continuum.org. show here, a very familiar Dr. Seuss yarn has been revised into How the Grinch Stole Christmas! The Musical (Dec. 6-11, Connor Palace). Adapted from TV’s renowned animated special, the show transports the audience to Whoville and to the villain whose heart is two sizes too small. (The size of his hands is not mentioned.) Another well-known story will be splashing down at the Beck Center in the form of The Little Mermaid (Dec. 2-31). Based on the classic fairy tale and film, this Disneybranded script will be led by the Beck team of Scott Spence, Larry Goodpaster and Martin Cespedes — people who know a thing or two about staging big, flashy shows. It features some great music by Academy Award winning composer Alan Menken and lyricist Howard Ashman. The fine singers at Karamu House will be showing off their vocal chops in Sister Act (Dec. 2-30), the story about the gangland wife who is relocated into a convent by the witness protection program. But there’s no vow of silence involved, since she transforms the staid choir of nuns into a kick-ass, soulful singing troupe. If you’re looking for something that doesn’t reek of eggnog and
fruitcake, try cleansing your entertainment palate with Cabaret (Dec. 2-17, Blank Canvas Theatre). The Kander and Ebb songs are great and the story, about Berlin in the days before the Nazis took total power, may feel a bit more relevant than you ever thought possible. It features a talented duo in the lead roles: Devon Turchan as the Emcee and Tricia Bestic as Sally Bowles. There are also a couple entirely new entries in the holiday theater scene. One is Light the Lights Ol’ Moses CLE! (through Dec. 18, Cleveland Public Theater). Created and performed by Northeast Ohio artists, it’s billed as a wild holiday romp. Cabaret seating plus beer and wine service during the performance promise to make it even more festive. Ensemble Theatre is showing The Night Thoreau Spent In Jail (through Dec. 11), and it is highlighted by a strong performance by Geoff Knox as Thoreau, along with solid support from the entire cast. While it has a bit too much philosophizing and not enough drama, it’s loaded with ideas that are always good to hear. And local playwright Jonathan Wilhelm has blended a few genres into a noir-comedy-mystery-thriller titled The Knife Is Money, The Fork Is Love (Dec. 2-17, convergence-
Cleveland Play House 1407 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, clevelandplayhouse.com.
Cleveland Public Theatre 6415 Detroit Ave., 216-631-2727, cptonline.org.
Connor Palace 1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
Dobama Theatre 2340 Lee Rd., Cleveland Heights, 216-932-3396, dobama.org.
Ensemble Theatre 2843 Washington Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-321-2930, ensembletheatrecle.org.
Great Lakes Theater 2067 East 14th St. 216-241-6000, greatlakestheater.org.
Karamu House 2355 East 89th St., 216-795-7070, karamu.org.
Outcalt Theatre 1407 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
scene@clevescene.com t@christinehowey
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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MOVIES FLY GIRL The Eagle Huntress chronicles a young Mongolian woman’s remarkable story By Jeff Niesel IN A RURAL AREA OF MONGOLIA where gender stereotypes about boys and girls haven’t changed in hundreds of years, 13-yearold Aisholpan, the subject of the new documentary film The Eagle Huntress, stands out as an exception. Her incredible story about wanting to become the first female eagle hunter in her family gives the movie, which opens on Friday at the Cedar Lee Theatre, a natural arc. Aisholpan, who has a particularly close relationship with her eagle hunter father, picks up a few tips from the guy when she can. He teaches her to hold her arm out, so the eagle can launch itself and then hunt for prey. It requires a certain amount of upper body strength, and her father tells her that many grown men struggle to master the task. Once she masters a number of eagle hunting tasks, her father determines it’s time to adopt her very own eagle, which she must swipe from a nest. So she and her
father find an eagle’s nest perched in a particularly precarious crevice. He helps her climb to the nest and abduct a bird by wrapping it in a rug. She begins working with the bird, developing the kind of bond that exists between a dog and its owner. At this point, Aisholpan and her father begin rigorous training for the Golden Eagle Festival, a competition that involves 70 of the best Mongolian eagle hunters. To get to the event, Aisholpan and her father must travel across expanses of barren wasteland. At the festival, Aisholpan competes against veteran eagle hunters, most of whom look to be at least twice her age and all of whom are male. Once the competition ends, Aisholpan must fulfill one more task in her journey to become a true eagle hunter. She and her eagle must successfully hunt a fox in the wild, and they endure frigid temperatures as they venture deep
into the Mongolian wilderness on their hunting expedition. Narrated by Star Wars’ Daisy Ridley, the film makes the most of the story’s gender dynamics and casts Aisholpan’s story in a feminist light. Set in the Mongolian steppe,
the movie also makes the most of its exotic setting thanks to some stellar cinematography.
jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel
SPOTLIGHT: HOLIDAY FILMS AT CLEVELAND CINEMAS CLEVELAND CINEMAS HAS JUST announced its lineup of holiday films, playing through the month of December at the Capitol Theatre on the west side and the Cedar Lee on the east. The selections don’t disappoint (they rarely do): The titles below testify to Cleveland Cinemas’ efforts to provide eclectic seasonal programming. Family classics, musicals, ballet, nostalgic action romps: You can catch all that and more this December as you prepare for the holidays. Who needs egg nog when you can have popcorn and diet Dr. Pepper? Here is the schedule and film summaries, provided by Cleveland Cinemas.
A CHRISTMAS STORY Dec. 3, 1 p.m., Capitol Theatre This shot-in-Cleveland family favorite tells the story of Ralphie, who only wants a Red Rider BB gun for Christmas. Admission is just $1. Playing in conjunction with the Gordon Square Arts District’s Wintertide event. BOLSHOI BALLET: THE NUTCRACKER Dec. 11, 11 a.m., Cedar Lee Theatre Dec. 21, 7 p.m., Cedar Lee Theatre Despite its reputation as the bonbon of the ballet world, The Nutcracker is far from
a sugary cliche. The plot is as crazy as it is convincing. The surreal action takes place in an increasingly fantastical world, leaving the cozy domesticity of Clara’s parents’ house far behind. As soon as the audience adapts to one new world, another follows swiftly, as transformation follows transformation. The magician Drosselmeyer sets out to find a young girl who can break the curse imposed by the Mouse King on his nephew Hans-Peter, and restore him to human form. Mice and toys stage a pitched battle. Drosselmeyer sends Clara and Hans-Peter to the Land of Snow and then to the Kingdom of Sweets where they meet the Sugar Plum Fairy and her prince. Featuring Nina Kaptsova, Artem Ovcharenko, Denis Savin, Pavel Dmitrichenko and Vyacheslav Lopatin. Admission is $15 for adults, $12.50 for children and seniors.
make everyones’ dreams come true. Starring Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Vera Allen. Admission is $10 and includes a complimentary mini-cocktail (or soft drink) and desserts courtesy of Gypsy Beans & Baking Company.
WHITE CHRISTMAS Dec. 14., cocktail party at 6. p.m., film starts at 7 p.m., Capitol Theatre Irving Berlin’s songs and dances are performed by two happy couples who discover that love, romance and a Christmas Eve snowfall
LETHAL WEAPON Dec. 17, midnight, Capitol Theatre Mel Gibson and Danny Glover star in this seminal ’80s action film that takes place during the jolliest time of year. Admission is $6. — Sam Allard
THE POLAR EXPRESS in 3D Dec. 17, 11 a.m., Cedar Lee Theatre Dec. 18, 11 a.m., Cedar Lee Theatre Director Robert Zemeckis’ computer-animated adaptation of the children’s book about a young boy who finds himself on an express train to Santa is a family favorite. Admission is $1. Following the show on Saturday, Dec. 17, only, you can stop by Dewey’s Pizza (2194 Lee Rd.) and have lunch with Santa from 1 to 3 p.m. You can also score a free side salad at Dewey’s when you present your Cleveland Cinemas Marquee Rewards card.
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
Photo by Emanuel Wallace
EAT
HOME SWEET HOME The best Cubanos and Puerto Rican food in town shine at the new location of Caribe Bake Shop By Douglas Trattner IT ALL STARTED WITH THE bread. Just as you can’t make a proper banh mi without a crusty French baguette; a corned beef without fresh, soft rye; or a Maine lobster roll without a pale split-top hot dog bun, you will never achieve Cubano perfection without real Cuban bread. Caribe on Fulton began life as a bakery, turning out loaves of that crisp-crusted, airy white bread for Puerto Rican home cooks and restaurants on Cleveland’s nearwestside. Since 1969, this small bake shop in the Clark-Fulton neighborhood has been an invaluable resource not only for fresh breads, but also irresistible sweets like flan, coconut pudding and pastelitos de guayaba, or flaky guava-filled pastries. Like many of the best spots in town, this one grew slowly, organically, responding to the needs of the community. On weekends, the owners would slow-roast a few fresh hams until they were supple and tender, stuffing heaps of the flavorful meat and crispy skin into that fragrant bread, resulting in the kind of roast pork sandwich that people line up for. And not just homesick Puerto Ricans, but anybody who loves great food and good value. Caribe’s Cuban sandwiches are legendary, filled with that same roast pork plus ham, “white cheese,”
sliced pickles and yellow mustard and pressed until hot, toasty and delicious. Before long, Caribe had set up an entire cafeteria-style steam table, where customers could walk up and find a whole host of hot foods, which they would pack up to take home or to the job. Sure, there were a handful of seats, but Caribe was the furthest thing from a traditional restaurant. And given the cramped quarters, bottlenecks also were legendary, with bakery customers jostling for space with the prepared foods customers. Something had to give. Finally, it did. “We needed more cooking space and a bigger place for customers, something more suitable,” says manager Judith Tecillo, who has worked for the Burgos family business for about 15 years. Though it took months and months to build, the germ of the idea for a new building began almost seven years back. Rather than just
demolished the old and inferior one. Step into Caribe Bake Shop today and you’ll be greeted by a bright, open and modern space. A full 20 feet of hot and cold food stations are filled with Puerto Rican favorites old and new. There’s that heavenly roast pork, presented whole and picked apart, order by order, until nothing remains but bone. Meltingly tender dark and white meat chicken, carrots and potatoes luxuriate in a light sauce. Crispy chunks of fried pork meat and skin — chicharron — sit next to a tray of morcilla, pitch-black sausages made with pork blood, rice and onions that have a pronounced metallic taste and creeper heat. The fried chicken comes out in batches throughout the day and happens to be some of the best in town. Mofongo, beef stew, meatballs, corned beef, and even spaghetti make occasional appearances in the steam tables. Another small heated display case is filled with crispy empanadillas, the Puerto Rican equivalent of
CARIBE BAKE SHOP 2906 FULTON RD. 216-281-8194
attempt to improve the aged property that already existed, the owners decided to construct an entirely new building immediately next door. When it was completed, they
empanadas, filled with beef, chicken and “pizza.” Those large, golden brown orbs likely are rellenos de papa, potato balls that are stuffed with seasoned ground meat and deep
fried. Thanks also to the newly found space, cold items like pico de gallo, potato salad and macaroni salad now are displayed for sale. Considering the portion sizes, prices are ridiculously reasonable. Made-to-order Cubanos come in three sizes: 8-inch “personal” ($5), 16-inch medium ($8) and the large ($15), which is built on an entire loaf of bread. Most diners order combination plates that include a main dish, white or yellow rice and a choice of beans (black or kidney with pork). Prices for those are $8 to $10. Regardless of the improvements, diners should not expect a full-service dining experience. This is still an unassuming cafeteria-style operation with limited seating, though an adjacent room has room for more diners. For now, there is no menu — not even labels that indicate what the foods are behind the glass. But that should change soon, says Tecillo. “We might even do a picture menu like they do in Chinese restaurants,” she says. That would prove invaluable to the scores of people who adore the food, but just don’t always know what all the various options are. I, for one, look forward to branching out from my tried-and-true orders.
dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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EAT
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Cleveland Heights 2194 Lee Rd. (216) 321-7355 Lakewood 18516 Detroit Ave. (216) 228-2299 www.deweyspizza.com
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
NOW IN ITS EIGHTH YEAR, Scene’s Flavor event, hosted on Dec. 15 at the Aloft Cleveland hotel complex, will feature 40 notable restaurants, food trucks, and a culinary launch kitchen. (Tickets to the event are available at clevescenetickets.com.) The event is a celebration of our notable food community in a VIP setting that allows guests to meet and mingle with chefs while munching on samples from every food group imaginable. Last year, the Culinary Showdown was introduced, a 30-minute quick-fire competition that pitted three rising chefs against one another for a chance to win $1,000 and bragging rights. The rules were simple: Create a dish to impress the panel of judges in both taste and presentation, utilizing one key ingredient. Ultimately, it was Michael Schoen of Sol (38257 Glenn Ave., Willoughby, 440-918-1596, solwilloughby.com) who took home the top prize with his ancho chile, cocoa and coffee, fermented blackgarlic rubbed wild boar tenderloin, served with sassafras-scented sweet potato puree and Luxardo cherry gastrique. The key ingredient was Woodford Reserve bourbon, with a surprise challenge of incorporating cranberry sauce into the already conceptualized plates. While Schoen didn’t stick to Sol’s Spanish-inspired menu for his entree, the tables could turn in 2016 when he returns to defend his title. “The inspiration was drawn from the bourbon,” he says. “I worked at a restaurant in Chicago where we cooked with beer and used a lot of bourbon in our cuisine. Immediately, when I got that ingredient I went to my comfort zone and knew that I could put together something based off of my past.” Will having previously competed give him a leg up? “Obviously, you think about that, but to be honest with you I’m going to stay true to what I do and hopefully have the same results as last year. I look forward to competing with some new chefs.”
Phil Hultz, manager and chef at Roxu Fusion (15607 Madison Ave., 216-920-5060, roxufusion.com) has a different approach when it comes to the battle. “I’ll take corncobs and roll them under the feet of other chefs,” he jokes. In all seriousness, his strategy involves presenting the chosen ingredient in the freshest way possible, a strategy common to Asian cuisine, which inspires much of Roxu’s menu. “I’m definitely going to work in some of our regional ingredients and focus on having control over the competition,” he adds. “I can feature the ingredient more in a steam bun or noodle bowl; I can make it stick out. If you’re doing more of a French style of cooking, maybe you’d be inclined to turn it into a sauce. But I’m willing to present it up front.” Rookie Nelly Buleje will represent Adega (2017 East Ninth St., 216331-6289, metropolitancleveland. com) after only three months as head of that kitchen; he formerly served as executive chef at Azure Rooftop Lounge. “I wouldn’t say that I’m known for one specific cuisine,” he reports. “I’d say that I’m a cultural chef. I’ve been fortunate enough to travel everywhere: to Peru, the Philippines and the Caribbean. I was born in the U.S., my parents are Guatemalan and Mexican, and so my cuisine is culturally infused.” Depending on the special ingredient, he may choose to represent Adega with a modern Mediterranean plate. As for what the wildcard ingredient is, it’s anyone’s guess, but the chefs are hoping for a challenging item. “I would love, just because of the strategic advantage, durian,” Hultz says of the stinky Japanese fruit. “I think beer would be amazing; some kind of extremely hoppy beer,” Schoen hopes. Buleje would go back to his roots: “Spicy peppers that would throw everyone off.”
scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene
CI | Recipes
| cclevescene.com m | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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EAT.
Until now you thought sushi, hummus, sandwiches, robata and creative cocktails had little in common. Think again. Welcome to new world cuisine.
Globally Inuenced, Modern American Kitchen and Bar 811 Prospect Ave :: Cleveland :: 216.298.5111 Mon-Fri 11:30 a.m.-Close :: Sat 5:00 p.m.-Close 811kitchenbarlounge.com
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
EAT HECK’S CAFE TO OPEN ON EUCLID AVENUE By Douglas Trattner GOOD NEWS FOR DOWNTOWN workers, residents and general fans of Heck’s Cafe. Owner Fadi Daoud is once again expanding the 40-yearold brand that he purchased about 10 years back. On the heels of expanding the original Ohio City location (2927 Bridge Ave., 216-861-5464, heckscafe. com) by purchasing and remodeling an adjacent property, and opening a second Heck’s in Avon (35514 Detroit Rd., 440-937-3200), Daoud will be opening a entirely new location in the heart of downtown Cleveland.
Daoud says that he feels the location is about as safe a bet as one could make right now. “I honestly think that the area is probably the best in Cleveland right now,” he notes. “It’s just steady yearround; it’s not seasonal, not dictated by anything.” Stark reps say that Daoud was
chosen for his track record of providing solid breakfast and brunch service for years. “We wanted to partner up with a local operator, and Heck’s has done a great job in Ohio City,” Ezra Stark, chief operating officer for Stark Enterprises, told Cleveland.com. “They’ve done very well with their
brunches and breakfasts. There aren’t many places that focus on breakfast and brunch downtown. And we think that there’s a demand for it among people that work and live in the area.” Look for a spring opening.
dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner
The 2,500-square-foot space (515 Euclid Ave.) is on the ground floor of a seven-story parking garage that will sit beneath — if things go as planned — a new 19-floor apartment complex to be built by Stark Enterprises. A furniture store will be vacating the structure and Stark will be splitting the space in two, one section for Heck’s and the other for an as-yet unnamed chain. “This is a new concept that we’re branching out of Heck’s,” Daoud explains. “It’s not going to be a fullblown Heck’s; it’s not going to be a full-service restaurant.” Daoud describes the concept as a fast-casual version of Heck’s. While it will have a full kitchen, it won’t have table service or alcohol. Food will be prepared to order in less than 10 minutes, he says. While the menu still is in development, Daoud says that guests can look forward to breakfast sandwiches, deli sandwiches, those great burgers and few more creative offerings. Construction is set to begin in January, with a planned opening sometime this spring | clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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| clevescene.com m | November 30 - December 6, 2016
MUSIC ’TIS THE SEASON The Ohio City Singers return with a terrific new set of holiday tunes By Jeff Niesel ABOUT 10 YEARS AGO, LOCAL singer-songwriter Chris Allen, his sister Molly, and Doug McKean worked up four Christmas tunes and then threw a big Christmas party to which they invited their musician friends. They played the four original tunes they had penned as well as a few choice covers, recorded them and delivered them on a CD to their families as a Christmas gift. That signaled the birth of the Ohio City Singers, a group of local musicians that plays several Christmasthemed concerts each year. This year, the group recaptures that house party vibe on its new CD, Ring Out the Wild Bells. The songs veer from Springsteen-like anthems (“Ohio City Singer Christmas Bash”) to zydecotinged rave-ups (“Coal Miser”) and reggae-themed reels (“Kingston via Cleveland”). We recently caught up with singer-guitarist Christopher Allen, singer-guitarist Austin “Candy Cane” Charanghat and singermulti-instrumentalist Doug McKean to talk about the songs on the new album over a few beers at Rocky River Brewing Company. The group plays a CD release party at 1 p.m. on Dec. 3 at Music Box Supper Club. It then performs again at 9 p.m. on Dec. 16 and 17 at Vosh in Lakewood. A Dec. 9 show at the GAR Hall in Peninsula is sold out. “Ohio City Singers Christmas Bash” Allen: It’s the oldest song on the record. In 2014, we were going to do a live record and me and Doug wrote a few songs for that. The recording was a bit of a disaster so this is a little hangover tune. All of the records have a party jam and that’s the ultimate party jam. Charanghat: There’s always a bunch of party jams on every record in some form or another. McKean: It’s in the tradition of the party theme songs we would do for every record. That goes back to the beginning of the band. We have to have a song that says something about the band and has jokes in it
hesitant to put covers on the record because the point is to be original. It’s too ingrained in the set list. Charanghat: It took me 18 years to learn the lyrics and I still mess them up once in a while. McKean: I don’t think we’ve ever done a show without doing it. It’s that much of a staple. People come to see us do “The Grinch.” Allen: We get offers to play corporate Christmas parties and people ask us if we do covers. It doesn’t go over so well when we say, “Yeah, we do ‘The Grinch.’”
and makes fun of our friends. We don’t want to overthink it. It’s always good if there’s a weird reference to something going on in someone’s life. Charanghat: Why is there a line about my dog speaking Spanish? McKean: You had played a gig in South America that year. “Dreams of Christmas Day” McKean: We wrote it for this record specifically. We consistently want to come up with something that sounds like a pop Christmas song. Sometimes, we fail miserably and do things like “The Ohio City Singers Christmas Bash” instead. This is a successful attempt at that. Allen: We had it earmarked for [singer] Kelly [Wright]. She’s one of the best singers in the group, so if we do something pop-oriented, she gets the call.
“The Christmas Rose” Charanghat: I was reading a bunch of Christmas stories to see if I could write something. There was this anonymous poem from the 15th century in German from Germany. I told Chris about it because I thought it was this incredible story and so we worked it into a song. Allen: After you write 50 Christmas songs as a band, you have to start digging. “The Grinch” Allen: We recorded it once before at the Happy Dog and that was in our third year, but we never released that recording to anyone other than family and friends. We printed like 80 of them. Austin sings the hell out of it, so it’s a live staple. We have been
“Coal Miser” McKean: It got reworked a couple of times. It was written for the live album in 2014. I listened to Boozoo Chavis for like a week straight before I wrote it. It started as a Boozoo Chavis knock off. I wanted to write “Eggnog, Part 2” but as a zydeco song. It wasn’t totally working so we just reworked the music, and it now has that jazzy thing. As we got closer to the recording, we needed stuff for the people coming over to sing. I was watching Monty Python’s “The Lumberjack Song” a couple of days before, and I felt that was what we needed to do. It evolved from where it was as this two-chord zydeco thing. Allen: We nailed the arrangement five seconds before we recorded it. McKean: It was called “Bad Kid Christmas.” It really didn’t have a title. When we went through what to call everything on the record, we had to get “Christmas” out of as many song titles as possible. We decided to call it “Coal Miser,” and it would be about this kid who gets coal for Christmas every year. Once we had that title, we just wanted to make it kind of wacky and that’s where the intro comes from.
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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MUSIC “The Ghosts” Allen: I had a simple rock version but when we got together and played, we decided that it sucked. We wanted to make it more like a song by [the local Pogues tribute act] Boys From the County Hell song and we rewrote it in 10 minutes, and it worked. McKean: The songwriting tradition in this band is that when we’re trying to write some kind of rock song and get cute with it, it doesn’t work. When we start bashing something out, we do better. Allen: We recorded it live, and it’s a pretty raw track. “Waiting on a Red Light” Allen: Last year, [singer] Matt Sobol sent me and Austin pieces and parts of a tune. He wanted it to be a bluesy thing and have Austin sing. We sent it back to him and then he sent it back to us. We made him sing it. From a male singer standpoint, he’s our best singer. Charanghat: He’s a great singersongwriter guy. Allen: His voice adds a whole different element to the band. He’s also the funniest guy in the band. Charanghat: He’s funny without even trying. Allen: We can tell the song will be a blast to play live. McKean: That was fun doing it for the record because I played a bunch of keys on it. Tom [Prebish] nailed what that synthesizer line was on the song’s bridge. He said it was a “Dream Police” line. That’s what it is. “Kingston via Cleveland” Charanghat: I’ve been heavy into reggae and started digging into it the last two or three years. I’ve been making tapes and sending them to Chris. I started playing reggae a bit, and I could see a spark from Chris. It turned into whatever it is. Allen: We wrote it last year and I wanted to throw it out, but Austin kept at it. Doug played bass and Tom played guitar and it came to life. Kelly [Wright] came up with a three part vocal harmony and it was badass. I did nothing and watched. It was great. Charanghat: I showed up at the session and one of Dixon’s cables went bad. I went to Guitar Center and bought a wah-wah pedal and decided to play wah-wah on the tune. McKean: It’s tasteless. Charanghat: Totally tasteless. And that’s the beauty of it.
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
“War on Christmas” McKean: Chris had brought up the [unofficial ceasefires] along the Western Front in 1914 to me a long time ago. We tried to write something based on it, and it wasn’t going anywhere. I read something called “War on Christmas,” and I thought it was an intriguing title. The title inspired me to get it written. By the end of the day, I had a tune together and stuff scribbled down about it. Chris had most of the same stuff scribbled down from before. I couldn’t put it together to make verses out of the stuff. All the images were there, and I played it to Chris on the piano and we straightened it out. Allen: Five minutes into it, he said that [singer-songwriter] Don Dixon should sing it. “Heat Miser” Allen: It’s on the second house record. The second year we did the Christmas parties at my house were in 2004. Austin was supposed to sing it, but his son and wife were sick. I rehearsed the band to get him ready to go, so he could do it. I had to sing it myself, so we kept my version. That’s me doing my impersonation of Austin. “Baby Don’t You Know It’s Christmas” Allen: It’s a zydeco pop number. We didn’t have a record out last year and wanted to do a single. On the way out the door, I came up with half of a song and texted it to Dixon. He had mocked-up a version of the song and we tracked it last year to keep it going. That one was done last year. “All Roads Lead Home at Christmas” Charanghat: I brought the title in and an idea for it. Allen: We worked on it. I played it to Doug, and we had a bunch of beer one night and Doug came up with the music. McKean: I played piano to what Chris was singing. I started playing something that sounds like “Snow Days” a little bit, but we slowed it down and then we had it. I was really drunk and listened to the tape and I was surprised that I played it pretty well. When we recorded it, we tried to capture how drunk I was before. Allen: With these records, we always have some sentimental tunes. Charanghat: You have to. It’s Christmas.
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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A LASTING LEGACY
Photo by Scott Sandberg
MUSIC Drummer Jason Bonham strives to keep Led Zeppelin’s music alive By Jeff Niesel WHEN THE SURVIVING MEMBERS of Led Zeppelin — singer Robert Plant, guitarist Jimmy Page and bassist John Paul Jones — needed someone to fill in for the late drummer John Bonham so they could play a reunion show in 2007, they enlisted Bonham’s son Jason. A notable drummer in his own right, Bonham has drummed for Paul Rodgers on his Muddy Water Blues: A Tribute to Muddy Waters project and made appearances with Led Zeppelin tribute bands Fred Zeppelin and Led Zepagain. Playing with the original members in 2007 was so thrilling, Bonham decided to form the Led Zeppelin Experience so he could continue to honor the band’s legacy. He brings the group back to Hard Rock Live on Dec. 4 and spoke via phone from his house in Florida, where he was in his “drum room” preparing to do his daily drills. On Representing Led Zeppelin’s Music In reality terms, the concept for the Led Zeppelin Experience was talked about in 2009. It was a way to cheer me up after the fact that the music stopped after the Celebration Day show in 2007. In 2008, we got together and were seeing what was going to happen in the future and even got into a writing session. When that stopped in 2009, my manager was throwing different ideas together. He wanted me to put together an act in between gigs. I didn’t see it as something that was long term. It was what it was. Once I started putting the show together by adding the home movies and getting a chance to [virtually] play with dad on the stage, which was something he had talked about but we hadn’t done when he was alive, it took on a whole other life. It’s a side project that in certain markets is way more than a side project. It’s amazing to me. I still get chills from the reaction we get when I walk on stage and the lights go down. I still find the response a little bit overwhelming, to be honest with you, and it’s very surreal. The experience part of it is for all of us. We all have our Zeppelin stories and we all
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remember what these songs meant to us. When I lost my father, you lost your drummer and your favorite band and it becomes a very personal thing. I take it very seriously because I want to make sure it’s right. I’m representing my father’s music and the music of Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones and Robert Plant. We all look forward to it. It’s Not Just About Chops When I was younger, I would say I love his chops and his technical ability on Presence. He started to add these double cymbal hits. His performance on “Achille’s Last Stand” is amazing. Some of the simplistic ones can be the hardest thing to play. You think it sounds easy. With “When the Levee Breaks,” there’s something about the way we played. I played in that room where he recorded the song. I wasn’t going to play “When the Levee Breaks” even though I knew that was the room. Eventually, I did play it. But it’s just him and his style. He was never as heavy as what people imagined. He was way more jazz than you can imagine and funkier than you can think of. At home, he was this quiet dad even though you all knew him as Bonzo. Playing “Moby Dick” I avoided it for a couple of years. I realize now that I’m the old man, and he’s the kid. Somebody pointed that out and it blew my mind. I’m now more than double his age. I have a screen on stage because you need to not only listen but watch him. It took us a while to figure out
The Studio vs. Live Versions The way we’ve decided to play now bases the songs more on the album versions. Occasionally, a certain section will go back. I love the ’77 version of “The Song Remains the Same” and the Knebworth version of “Kashmir.” I didn’t want to go up there and be a jukebox, but James, our singer, finds it hard to go off and do the scat. He says he’s not really a singer, but somebody told him he sounded like Robert Plant so he learned to sing that way. We did “No Quarter” and he learned to sing it as if the effect was on his voice. I told him he didn’t have to do that. He just learned it as he was hearing it. It was truly amazing. For me, when he sings “Since I’ve Been Loving You,” I get choked up. I feel so blessed. I’ve played it with the real guys and I get to play with my guys. I’m so blessed. My guys give it their all. I couldn’t have picked better people to do this project with. They have the same passion that I do. Changes to the Show From the last time we were in Cleveland, there are some changes. I’m not sure if we did “Moby Dick”
JASON BONHAM’S LED ZEPPELIN EXPERIENCE 7:30 P.M. SUNDAY, DEC. 4, HARD ROCK ROCKSINO NORTHFIELD PARK, 10777 NORTHFIELD RD., NORTHFIELD, 330-908-7625. TICKETS: $35-$72.50, HRROCKSINONORTHFIELDPARK.COM
how to do it. You have the delay for screen to audio. We did one with the footage of me side by side with him. I looked late but that’s because there was a delay. It’s a lot of pressure but on the last tour, I absolutely enjoyed [playing “Moby Dick”] so much and wondered why I stopped doing it.
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
last time and that’s back in the show. There are a couple of different songs we haven’t done, including “In My Time of Dying.” We do the favorites like “When the Levee Breaks” and “Whole Lotta Love,” and I like to take some of the things that aren’t so obvious. We do some acoustic songs
too. It won’t be short. I always feel every album needs to be represented. We’ll have a 15-minute intermission and then keep it going. Reunion Possibilities Not that I’m aware of. I’ve heard all the hype for the Desert Trip thing. They wouldn’t tell me until the last minute because I can’t hold anything in. I tell everybody that I work with that I will commit to play with them, but if I get one phone call from any of the three original members of Led Zeppelin, I would have to leave. I would love to play with them again. I’m pleased that I get to do this and get asked by different musicians to play with them. Part of it is that I’ve been sober for the last 15 years. It’s been really great for me. Zeppelin’s Lasting Legacy There is something magical about it. When I was a kid, it wasn’t until I could separate myself from it and became my own man that I realized what it meant. I still hear things I hadn’t noticed before. When you go back to that time period, there were great bands around, but it was original. There was something about them that was so unique. With every album, it could have been different bands. Physical Graffiti was one of my favorite albums, and they kind of change on that album. It was phenomenal. I wish I could have told [Bonham] how great I thought he was when he was alive. Instead, I was always asking him, “Dad, I want to see the Police. I really like Stewart Copeland.”
jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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MUSIC HOOKED ON TOURING The Weepies go back to their roots for their stripped-down acoustic tour By Sam Allard STEVE TANNEN, ONE HALF of the serenely sing-alongable indie folk duo the Weepies, and Deb Talan — his and the Weepies’ other half — got mistakenly booked at Hurricane Festival, a heavy metal music fest in Germany, in 2006. “Somebody screwed up,” Tannen says via phone. No kidding. “The band was Tool. Do you know who Tool is?” he continues. “Well, this was the Tool crowd, thousands of young German men, tattooed, shirtless, drinking beer, angry. And all of a sudden it was like, Lehdees und Zhentlmann, ze Veepees!!! And I was like, ‘Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god.’ This was not just terror. This was a feeling of existential crushing. You know, I thought, ‘This is crazy. What am I doing here?’” But Tannen and Talan went with the flow, such as it was. They knew they could not “out-rock” Tool. They could not out-rock Black Flag. They could not outrock Eagles of Death Metal and the assorted screamers on the lineup. (They were much more at home at 2010’s Lillith Fair revival). So they tightened the straps on their guitars and decided to play quietly, even quieter than usual. Deb approached the microphone to sing — to coo — the catchy, tennis-ballbouncing tune “Nobody Knows Me at All” from the 2006 album Say I Am You. “And there was this moment — it actually lasted for the entire set — where everyone just got it,” Tannen says. “It was us alone in a room singing, and they were swaying along. They spoke mostly German, I think. And we felt that that’s why you do a live show. Because you’re part of something, something you share. Deb got swamped afterward by all these young men with face tattoos. And it was so cute. It was awesome.” “Cute” and “awesome” are likely two adjectives used by Weepies fans to describe the married musical duo. The couple happily lives in Iowa City, that hamlet for Midwestern literary snobs, a city where, nonetheless, “the
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THE WEEPIES 7:30 P.M. WEDNESDAY, NOV., 30, MUSIC BOX SUPPER CLUB, 1148 MAIN AVE., 216-242-1250. TICKETS: $25 ADV, $30 DOS, MUSICBOXCLE.COM
best plumber is more famous and sought after than [the Weepies] are.” Tannen and Talan have three children and a cluttered house dedicated to their music. For local fans, the Nov. 30 show at the Music Box Supper Club, an early stop on the “Completely Acoustic and Alone”
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
tour, may be the last chance to see them live for quite some time. “At least for now,” Tannen says. “It doesn’t mean it’ll never happen again. We’re still the Weepies, but Deb is going to release her [solo] record soon. Then she’s going on tour in 2017, possibly to Europe ... and then we’ll deal with the
Weepies again.” The show will be unlike the Weepies’ past two tours. “There’s no crew, no tour manager, no band,” Tannen says. “It’s just us.” It arose, in part, because Tannen and Talan wanted to get back to their roots, to those moments of connection and surprise, and even moments of terror, that got them hooked on touring in the first place. They are sure to play, “to test,” some of Talan’s new solo material, but they’ll also play Weepies favorites that have resonated with fans in the past. It’s a change of pace for the couple. Their last tour was on the occasion of Deb’s having beaten stage 3 breast cancer. “And so we wanted to have a party,” Tannen says. They brought 15 people on a tour bus: a huge band with the drummer for Elvis Costello, the music director for Sara Bereilles’ Waitress. And it was exactly what they needed: a celebration. “But we’ve never been a big party band,” Tannen says. “We’ve always been more looking-inward, and we wanted to get back in touch with that.” This summer, they played a few shows informally. On their way to visit friends or family, they’d throw their guitars in the back of their van and play a show en route. “And it was everything we’d hoped,” says Tannen. “It was energizing.” So now, a tour devoted to that intimate setup, a setup for which the Weepies’ ethereal melodies and relationship lullabies seem optimized. It’ll be good for Tannen too, who says he’s never been a natural on stage. He still gets anxiety. “I’m not what anyone would call a road hog,” says Tannen. “And Deb, she doesn’t get nervous; she gets particular. She gets focused. For me, I love it when I really get into a song and everyone is a part of it; for that, I’m willing to risk it.”
sallard@clevescene.com t@scenesallard
| clevescene.com m | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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LIVEWIRE WED
11/30
10 X 3 Singer Songwriter Showcase: Hosted by Brent Kirby (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Blue Water Kings Band: 8 p.m., free. Brothers Lounge. Istvan Medgyesi/Mister Moon/ Miss Macy & the Low Pay Daddys: 8:30 p.m., $7. Beachland Tavern. Rooney: The Groundswell Tour/ Royal Teeth/Romes: 8:30 p.m., $16 ADV, $18 DOS. Grog Shop. Steel Panther/Wilson: 8 p.m., $29.50 ADV, $32.50 DOS. House of Blues. The Weepies — Completely Acoustic and Alone: 7:30 p.m., $25 ADV, $30 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. A Wilhelm Scream/Harvey Pekar/ Like Tyrants: 8 p.m., $13 ADV, $15 DOS. Now That’s Class.
THU
12/01
Rubblebucket/Mel Devisa/Punch Drunk/Tagalogs: One of our favorite bands here at Scene, Rubblebucket always delivers a high-energy show — and plenty of surprises along the way, elements that you won’t find from any other band. They’ve brought giant dancing robots to Beachland and colorful, flowing parachutes to Grog; know that a Rubblebucket show is a party unlike any other. Plus, the music is irresistibly fun. The band dropped a headbobbing single recently (“If U C My Enemies”), but they’re still working off the successes of last year’s Survival Sounds. It’s electro-brass-pop, one could say, and the band rubs elbows with both the funk and jam scenes in this country. We should also point out that 2011’s Omega La La stands tall in the band’s growing catalog, and songs like “Down in the Yards,” “Silly Fathers” and “Came Out of a Lady” remain fixtures in the live show. (Eric Sandy) 9 p.m., $7.50-$15. Grog Shop. Jamie Baum All-Star Quintet: 8 p.m., $20. Nighttown. Bilal/Nathan Paul and the Foundation Band: 8 p.m., $28 ADV, $32 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. Dosh/Dickie/Joe Tomino/Mike
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all the live music you should see this week Destructor will perform at the annual Metal Holiday Food Drive at the Beachland. See: Saturday.
Sopko: 8 p.m., $7 ADV, $10 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Emily & the Complexes/The Rainbow Emergency/Meg & the Magnetosphere (in the Locker Room): 9 p.m., $8. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Chris Hatton’s Musical Circus (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Hollow Earth (in the Underdog): 9 p.m., free. Happy Dog. Jam Night with the Bad Boys of Blues: 9 p.m., free. Brothers Lounge. Makoto Kawabata/Tatsuya Nakatani: 8:30 p.m., $12. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Spoken/Dayshell/3 Pill Morning: 6:30 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Agora Ballroom. Xavier Breaker Coalition: 8 p.m., $12. Bop Stop.
FRI
12/02
Tony Cuda’s Jazz Cats: A staple on the local jazz scene, Berkleeeducated electric bass player Tony Cuda spends most of his free time working with the prog-leaning outfit Cuda, Renko & Cuda. But he also dedicates a decent amount of time to his straight-up jazz group, Tony Cuda’s Jazz Cats., Last year, the group issued Herding Jazz Cats, an album that opens with a breezy cover of the Beatles’ “Norwegian Wood” and then offers a little bit of everything as Cuda goes for a big-band sound on “15 Bars” and gets funky on “Toy’s Effin Blues” and “Lick Me.” Now, Tony Cuda’s Jazz Cats have announced they’ll debut their new CD, Broken Streams
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
of Consciousness, at tonight’s show. Cuda wrote all but one of the six tracks, and percussionist extraordinaire Jamey Haddad plays on two tracks on the album, giving songs such as “Child’s Play” and “Something Borrowed” a Latin feel. (Jeff Niesel) 8 p.m., $10. Bop Stop. Twin Peaks/Together Pangea/ Golden Daze: Upholding the traditions of American garage rock and the lessons proffered by their rock ’n’ roll heroes, Twin Peaks certainly deliver the goods on this latest album, Down In Heaven. This is laid-back songwriting with a punch, the sort of thing you could imagine being performed by a guitarist with legs kicked up on the coffee table — all while friends dance rhythmically in the living room. Tunes like “My Boys” encapsulate the best, most welcoming parts of rock music, and Twin Peaks pull this off with a clear knack for catchy hooks and power pop sensibilities. They’ve been making waves in the college rock scene lately, and Down In Heaven is argument enough to keep them in your current Spotify playlist. (Sandy) 9 p.m., $7.50-$15. Grog Shop. Blue Arrow Records Presents Bad Luck Jonathan/Terminal Lovers/ Ethan Daniel Davidson: 8 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Beachland Tavern. CD Release Group with Whiskey Hollow and Austin Stambaugh: 9:30 p.m., $5. Brothers Lounge. Paulo Costa Trio: 9 p.m., $5. The Euclid Tavern. Sammy DeLeon Latin Jazz Sextet: 8:30 p.m., $15. Nighttown.
Gay New Wave Night with DJ Guilala: 9 p.m., free. Now That’s Class. Lyfe Jennings & Vivian Green: 8 p.m., $48-$58. Connor Palace. Christine Marie (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Mint Condition: 7:30 p.m., $45$160. The Tangier. Paper Route/Royal Vasa: 8 p.m., $12. Musica. Retch: 6 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Agora Ballroom. Saul Glennon/Tom Adams & the Last Resort: 9 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Moss Stanley: 10:30 p.m., free. Nighttown. The Subdudes: 8 p.m., $25 ADV, $30 DOS. The Kent Stage. Keith Sweat: 8 p.m., $40-$69.50. Hard Rock Rocksino Northfield Park. Tropidelic/Shrub/Vibe & Direct: 8 p.m., $20 ADV, $25 DOS. House of Blues.
SAT
12/03
The Eighth Annual Cleveland Metal Holiday Food Drive: This year, WJCU 88.7 FM, Auburn Records, the Exchange and Iron Ingo Stührenberg will present the eighth annual Cleveland Metal Holiday Food Drive; it takes place today at the Beachland Ballroom and Tavern. It’s a signature event in town, and organizers encourage fans to bring nonperishable food items and/or cash donations to help those in need. This year’s event includes performances by the local death metal outfit Terror, which has just issued a remastered anthology of its demos, and a reunion of the underground ’80s act Chemkill, who’ll perform their first show in 25 years. Formerly of Manimals, Larry the Wolf will play Manimals’ tunes as well as his new single, “Countdown to Venus.” Other acts on the bill include Destructor, Ego, Hell and Back, Lotus Pedal, Lower 13, Olathia, Threefold Law and Wretch. The Metallica tribute band the Four Horsemen will make a special appearance along with the outlaw burlesque troupe the Red Hot Heathens and Playboy model Daniella Dior. (Niesel) 5 p.m., free. Beachland Ballroom. Beau Coup/Marina Strah: 8 p.m., $27-$37. House of Blues.
| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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LIVEWIRE Bossa Nova Night with Luca Mundaca (in the Supper Club): 8 p.m., $7. Music Box Supper Club. Sabrina Carpenter: 6 p.m., $18 ADV, $20 DOS. Grog Shop. Exploding Lies/Bwak Dragon: 9 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Extinction A.D./S.N.A.F.U.: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class. Goodnight Tonight/Keys & Corridors/Trusting Obscurity/ The Whiskey Hollow: 8 p.m., $8. Musica. Jazz Unit Reunion: 8 p.m., $15. Bop Stop. Jivviden/Paper Morning/Holden Laurence: 10:30 p.m., $3-$6. Grog Shop. Victor Jones All-Star Quartet Featuring Michael Wolff: 8:30 p.m., $20. Nighttown. Carlos Jones and the PLUS Band: 10 p.m., $8. Brothers Lounge. Mint Condition: 7:30 p.m., $45$160. The Tangier. The Ohio City Singers: 1 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. Otis & the Shoreway Saints: 9 p.m., $5. The Euclid Tavern. Jeff Varga (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Jackie Warren: 10:30 p.m., free. Nighttown. Wax/The Palmer: 6 p.m., $15 ADV, $20 DOS. Beachland Ballroom.
SUN
12/04
Beatles Holiday Brunch (in the Supper Club): 12 p.m., $15. Music Box Supper Club. Durand Bernarr: 7 p.m., $20 ADV, $25 DOS. House of Blues. Sam Blakeslee Quintet: 8 p.m., $12. Bop Stop. Crooked River Groove Reunion and Student Scholarship Benefit Concert: 6 p.m., $10. Beachland Ballroom. December Noise Lunch with Jerry Koenigsmaark/ Conner McCready/Skylar Keifer + Austin Latare/Chaz Koenigsmark/Khalil Cormier/ Noah Depew/Kyle Carney/ XTerminal/Vanishing Cities: 4 p.m., free. Now That’s Class. The Mason District Album Release/The Tom Katlees/The Bad Hounds: 8:30 p.m., $3-$6. Grog Shop. Mike Petrone: 5:30 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Duke Robillard: 7 p.m., $20. Nighttown.
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
School of Rock: 1 p.m., free. Brothers Lounge. White Christmas Holiday Singalong Party (in the Supper Club): 3:30 p.m., $10. Music Box Supper Club. Xylouris White/Marisa Anderson/ Hiram-Maxim: 8:30 p.m., $10. Beachland Ballroom.
MON
12/05
Train with Andy Grammer and Blue October: When the San Francisco-based band Train played Blossom two years ago, it delivered a show that had broad appeal; the audience included children, adults and elderly folks. And the band catered to its entire fanbase with the performance too. Square-jawed singer Pat Monahan, who now looks a bit like a younger Huey Lewis, nimbly pranced across the stage in his skinny jeans and sneakers as he leaned into the first row to take selfies with fans and used his own camera to scan the crowd and post a clip to his Twitter account. Train returns to town tonight to play the Q104 Holiday Show at Playhouse Square’s State Theatre. Andy Grammer and Blue October share the bill. (Niesel) 8 p.m., $39.50-$99.50. State Theatre. Skatch Anderssen Orchestra: 8 p.m., $7. Brothers Lounge. Baldwin Wallace Musical Theater Showcase: 7 p.m., $10. Nighttown. Ebony Eyes/Bwak Dragon/Kill the Hippies: 9 p.m., $5. Now That’s Class. Adam Lee/G.S. Harper/Kate Kooser: 7:30 p.m., free. Beachland Tavern. Velvet Voyage (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge.
TUE
12/06
Iron Oxide: 7 p.m., free. Now That’s Class. The Jauntee Psychic Relic Bypass Circuit: 8 p.m., free. Beachland Tavern. Mac Miller: 7 p.m., $32.50 ADV, $37.50 DOS. House of Blues. Mr. California’s Happy Hour with Iron Oxide: 5 p.m., free. Now That’s Class. Two-Set Tuesday Featuring Erin Nicole & the Chill Factor (in the Wine Bar): 7 p.m. Brothers Lounge.
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
MEET THE BAND: Kurt Curtis (singer, guitarist), Christopher Klasa (drums), Tim O’Malley (bass), John Stockdale (organ) FRIENDS FIRST: Friends for years, the guys played a bit but not seriously before ofďŹ cially forming the group one Friday night while drinking and jamming together. The band played its ďŹ rst show at Pat’s in the Flats with local indie rockers the Dreadful Yawns. “It was a little nerve-wracking taking a new band in front of people for the ďŹ rst time,â€? says Curtis. “The guys in the Yawns have long been friends of ours and we respect them, but enough alcohol conquers all fears.â€? THE BASEMENT TAPES: In 2008, the band issued its ďŹ rst release, a foursong EP; in 2009, they followed up with a self-titled, full-length debut. “We didn’t know what the hell we were doing,â€? Curtis admits. “We recorded some in my basement with a digital 8-track that [local singer-songwriter] Bill Fox had. We also recorded some with local producer Mike McDonald and some at Waterloo Studios in Kent with Scott Tobias. We hadn’t hit any sort of stride. It was an amalgamation of different sessions and thoughts, and the album reects that.â€? With 2012’s Slow Death, the garage blues band reďŹ ned its sound. “That was the ďŹ rst one we did where [the Dreadful Yawns’] Ben [Gmetro] acted as the producer on it. That was a learning experience for everyone involved. I don’t think Ben had been given the reins, but it was good to have that outside ear. He has a fantastic ear. It gave us encouragement that we could make
something that sounded like an album.
WHY YOU SHOULD HEAR THEM: Working again with Gmetro, the band reďŹ nes its sound further on the tempered new album Ready to Die. “Ben felt more comfortable being critical or throwing in his two cents,â€? says Curtis. “Everybody has gotten a lot closer and it’s gotten that much better. Ben’s a music nerd. He knows everything, and whatever reference you can throw at him, he knows what you’re talking about. He appreciates many styles.â€? The band describes its music as “damaged loose grooves and heavy Cleveland blues,â€? and the album reects that. The raspy vocals in songs such as “Dead Wrongâ€? mix well with the noisy guitars and distorted keyboards. “The idea was to continue on the natural development of the blues rock thing we do, and continue to reďŹ ne that a bit more so it’s not all encompassing, noisy rock and roll,â€? says Curtis. “There’s more dynamics and we want someone to listen to it for half an hour. It’s hard to be brutalized that much. We like the homespun organic approach of Dead Moon and Pierced Arrows and the earnestness of it. We want to be best friends rather than great players. â€? WHERE YOU CAN HEAR THEM: explodinglies.bandcamp.com WHERE YOU CAN SEE THEM: Exploding Lies perform with Bwak Dragon at 9 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 3, at the Happy Dog.
jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
THE LIARS REVIVAL MAKES ITS DEBUT THE NEWLY FORMED LOCAL act the Liars Revival boasts that it has “carefully modernized the true Americana/folk sound with lyrics and melodies that will sing to the working (wo)man’s soul.” Led by singer-guitarist Jason Patrick — co-host on WJCU 88.7 NEO Rocks! and the occasional host of Brent Kirby’s weekly 10x3 singer-songwriter showcase at Brothers Lounge — and classically trained violinist Laura Simna, a music educator who also works as the concertmaster of the Lakeland Civic Orchestra, the band recalls early Neil Young and Creedence Clearwater on its rootsy new selftitled album which veers from tender ballads (“34”) to country-ish narratives (“Clothes”). The band plays a CD release show at 7:30 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 3, at Coda in Tremont. The local act Guggy opens. Tickets are $8 in advance, $10 at the door. All attendees will receive a download card of the six-song EP. Tickets are on sale now at coda.ticketfly.com.
CARLOS JONES RECORDS HOLIDAY TUNE Local reggae act Carlos Jones and the PLUS Band ranks as one
of the hardest working groups in the region. Jones has also just recorded a new version of his classic Christmas song, “Christmas the Way It Used to Be.” Produced by multiple Grammy-Award winner Edwin “Tony” Nicholas (Levert, O’Jays, Back Street Boys), the song shows off Jones’ talent as both a singer and songwriter. The track will be available for download around mid-December on iTunes and Amazon. Also in early December, locally based Little Fish Records will issue Carlos Jones & the PLUS Band LIVE from Cleveland. The album will be available at live shows and on the Little Fish website. Jones recorded the album at an outdoor show at Playhouse Square this past September. Jones is also slated to perform at the annual Holiday Revival show at Music Box Supper Club on Dec. 26. Two days after that gig, Jones will perform in Pittsburgh with former Rusted Root drummer Jim Donovan and the Sun King Warriors at Jergel’s Rhythm Grille in Warrendale, Pennsylvania.
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SAVAGE LOVE QUICKIES by Dan Savage Dear Dan, My boyfriend of almost two years is wonderful, and we have had very few issues. But there is one thing that has almost been a deal breaker. He fiddles with his penis almost constantly — in front of me and in front of our roommates. I’ve confronted him about it a number of times. He said he should be able to fiddle with his dick in every room of the house if he wants to and he should feel comfortable doing so. I told him that he is being “comfortable” at the expense of the comfort of those around him. We’ve had a number of confrontations about this, and he does it a lot less, but he still does it. If he doesn’t stop when I tell him to, I just leave the room. My question to you: Is this behavior unacceptable or am I being unreasonable? — Frustrated With The Fiddling Until a few weeks ago, I would have said that neo-Nazis sieg-heiling around Washington, D.C., was unacceptable and any elected official or pundit who didn’t immediately condemn neo-Nazis would be finished politically and professionally. But it turns out that neo-Nazism is just another example of IOIYAR — “it’s okay if you’re a Republican” — and relativism reigns. In other words: “Unacceptable” is a relative concept, FWTF, not an objective one. That said, FWTF, I don’t think you’re being unreasonable: Fiddling with your dick in every room of the house is inconsiderate and childish. It sounds like you’re doing a good job of socializing your boyfriend — better late than never — and I would encourage you to keep it up.
Dear Dan, I’m a straight man in a mostly healthy marriage. Our sex life is average, which I understand is better than some people can hope for, and we communicate well. For example, I felt comfortable admitting to my wife a few weeks ago that I would like more blowjobs. She in turn felt comfortable admitting to me that she would prefer if I showered more often. So we made a deal: I would shower every day and she would blow me twice a month. But the first month came and went with no blowjobs in sight. I’ve showered every single day. Should I bring this up to her? — Bathe Longer Or Withhold Sex
Your wife doesn’t wanna suck your cock, BLOWS, squeaky clean or stinky cheese. I would recommend outsourcing non-birthday blowjobs — if your wife is okay with that, BLOWS, which she won’t be.
Dear Dan, I’m a mid-30s bi woman in an incredible poly marriage with a bi guy. A few months ago, I learned that one of my closest friends (also poly) has a crush on me. I also have always had a crush on him. My crush-friend needed to ask his other partners how they felt about him being involved with me. Three months have gone by, and he’s not yet told me how his other partners feel. One of those partners is under a lot of stress — not the best time to bring up potential new partners to her — but my friend has dated other people in the past three months. I think if he really wanted to do something with me, he would have asked by now. I know you can’t ask someone to give you closure. I’ve also got a shit ton of pride that prevents me from asking him directly how he feels. Should I just move on? — Confused And Pathetic
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Dear Dan, I am a queer trans woman in my mid-20s, and I am in a monogamous relationship with a queer cis woman. We have been dating for about three months now. We have had an absolutely amazing sex life since day one, except for one caveat: She has never in her life had an orgasm. For most of the time she has been sexually active, she has felt ambivalent about getting off. It has only been in the past month that she has started feeling a “sexual awakening,” as she calls it. We have been making progress, but she has been having issues with getting caught up in her head when I am pleasuring her. This has been causing dysphoric feelings for her. We have had a few discussions about what we can do about the situation, but we are feeling lost. We know there isn’t going to be a quick fix, but what do we do about this? — Confused And Nervous Truly Can’t Overcome Much Exasperation Pot.
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Ahora español Livelinks.com 18+ | clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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| clevescene.com | November 30 - December 6, 2016
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›
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536 W. Tuscarawas 330.753.0500
832 Broadway 440.242.4080
1004 Kenmore Blvd. 330.753.3600
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GIRARD
ALL STORES CLOSED CHRISTMAS DAY
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CLEVELAND
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