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$%#%-"%2 s 6/,5-% .O 25 Dedicated to Free Times founder Richard H. Siegel (1935-1993) and Scene founder Richard Kabat Group Publisher Chris Keating

CONTENTS

Publisher Andrew Zelman

5PFRONT

Associate Publisher Angela Nagal Editor Vince Grzegorek

Dan Miraldi

Surprise! The Q deal promises are already beginning to fray

Editorial Managing Editor Eric Sandy Music Editor Jeff Niesel Senior Writer Sam Allard Staff Writer Brett Zelman Web Editor Laura Morrison Dining Editor Douglas Trattner Stage Editor Christine Howey Visual Arts Writers Dott von Schneider Copy Editor Elaine Cicora Intern Lawrence Neil

Feature

will be at the Beachland Tavern on Wednesday

Our annual winter guide will keep you warm and active all season long

Advertising Senior Multimedia Account Executive John Crobar, Shayne Rose Multimedia Account Executive Kiara Davis Events and Marketing Coordinator Maggie Lilac

'ET /UT

All the events you should check out this week

Creative Services Production Manager Steve Miluch Layout Editor/Graphic Designer Christine Hahn Staff Photographer Emanuel Wallace Business Sales Assistant/Receptionist Megan Stimac Controller Kristy Dotson

Stage

Circulation Circulation Director Don Kriss Euclid Media Group Chief Executive OfďŹ cer Andrew Zelman Chief Operating OfďŹ cers Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP Digital Services Stacy Volhein Digital Operations Coordinator Jaime Monzon www.euclidmediagroup.com National Advertising Voice Media Group 1-800-278-9866, voicemediagroup.com

Immersion in On Your Feet, the Emilio & Gloria Estefan Broadway Musical

Film

Gary Oldmanâ€™s remarkable performance distinguishes the war drama Darkest Hour

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Cleveland Scene Magazine is published every week by Euclid Media Group. VeriďŹ ed Audit Member Cleveland Distribution Scene is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader Copyright The entire contents of Cleveland Scene Magazine are copyright 2017 by Euclid Media Group. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. Publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed above.

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| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

UPFRONT INDY GETS 2021 NBA ALL-STAR GAME, AND Q DEAL’S PUBLIC LEVERAGE BEGINS TO FRAY Photo by Sam Allard

THIS WEEK

EVER SINCE THE LAVISH renovations to the Quicken Loans Arena were ﬁrst sold to the public at a press unveiling in December 2016, the promise of a future NBA All-Star game was part of the package. In fact, other than a modest lease extension, which will keep the Cavaliers in Cleveland until 2034, the All-Star game was the only perk for taxpayers. Later, a few provisions were tossed in, to persuade wishywashy city council members before a pivotal vote. But last week, NBA Commissioner Adam Silver announced that the 2021 NBA All-Star Game would be held at Bankers Life Fieldhouse in Indianapolis, home of the Pacers. The announcement came one month after Chicago was selected as the host city for the 2020 event. This news is being met with a shrug from city and team ofﬁcials. The initial promise, few may recall, was that Cleveland would host an All-Star game “within seven years” (by 2023, presumably). But as opposition to the Q Deal grew more vocal through the early months of 2017 — and don’t forget that the opposition won, and then voluntarily betrayed hundreds of activists who’d worked so tirelessly to topple the deal, for reasons that have yet to be publicized — the All-Star Games in either 2020 or 2021 were said to be securable if the arena renovations began right away. This came up explicitly at the Cuyahoga County Council hearings. “[Councilman Jack] Schron noted, as he did last week, that it seems ludicrous to rush to authorize this project when we won’t know the effects of the state of Ohio’s budget until June,” Scene reported on

Indianapolis announcement, Joe Vardon reported that his sources said Cleveland ofﬁcials “were neither disappointed or really even surprised that the city would have to wait another year.” But is anyone surprised? They got their deal. Why should they care? — Sam Allard

ORIGINAL CHIEF WAHOO CREATOR DIES AT 88

March 1. “To that concern, [Cavs CEO Len] Komoroski articulated the need for haste if Cleveland is to secure the all-important All-Star game in 2020.” (Italics added.) Not only the deal, but its immediate ratiﬁcation was required, pro-deal council members repeatedly argued throughout the proceedings. This was for the purpose of hosting the earliest possible All-Star Game. The real reason for haste, of course, and for passing a very controversial piece of legislation as an “emergency ordinance,” was to avoid, or at least to complicate, a voter referendum and to quash the opposition’s momentum. But city leaders could never say that publicly. So their line — earnestly repeated by Cleveland.com and the Plain Dealer — was that urgent passage was necessary to secure an All-Star game. And indeed, to add fuel to that narrative, the NBA imposed a strict deadline for renovation construction. In a letter from the league’s deputy commissioner, the Cavaliers were told that if renovations did not begin

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Isaiah Thomas not expected on court until after Christmas. Len Komoroski insists he’ll be ready for eventual All-Star game in Cleveland, “which is seriously going to happen, you guys!”

Rock Hall skips over ﬁrst-yeareligible Radiohead in annual inductions. Armond Budish last seen angrily slamming ofﬁce door, drawing shades and blasting “Fake Plastic Trees.”

by Sept. 15, Cleveland would no longer be considered for the All-Star Games in 2020 or 2021. As Scene noted at the time, the letter made no promise that beginning construction by the appointed date would guarantee Cleveland’s selection. And sure enough, Cleveland hasn’t been selected. LA is hosting the event in 2018. Charlotte will host in 2019. Chicago has 2020, and Indianapolis has 2021. The earliest possible date for Cleveland, now, is 2022. The Cavs’ Len Komoroski is nevertheless “hopeful” that Cleveland will secure an All-Star game “in the near future.” He issued a statement to that effect, saying that the Cavs were working closely with the league. Komoroski has every reason to be hopeful. The NBA issued a statement which once again acknowledged the strength of the local fan base and repeated what it has said since the beginning: that if the Q is renovated, Cleveland will get an All-Star game at some point down the road. In Cleveland.com’s account of the

Walter Goldbach, the man who created the original Chief Wahoo logo as a teenager in 1947, has died. Goldbach, who lived in Medina Township, designed the logo when former Indians’ owner Bill Veeck organized an impromptu competition via his uncle’s graphics store. Goldbach’s version is the hookednose precursor to the modern, redfaced logo. The 88-year-old artist told Fox 8 earlier this year that his drawing was never meant to offend anyone. “It makes me sad, that’s what it does,” he said, when asked about the possibility of Wahoo’s phase-out. “It makes me sad that it’s come to a point where it has gotten so serious, and it should never have come to this point.” Cleveland has been selected for the 2019 MLB All-Star Game, and there is speculation that Chief Wahoo will no longer ofﬁcially be associated with the franchise by that time. League commissioner Rob Manfred has certainly gestured toward his opposition to the logo, and the team has been incrementally elevating the “Block C” alternate logo since 2009. Though the franchise is long past the point of getting any credit for Wahoo’s presumed eventual removal

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The Last Jedi picks up $220 million at North American box ofﬁce over debut weekend. None of that came from Alissa Violet nor FaZe Banks, who snuck into a screening at Crocker Park and started a Mountain Dew-soaked scufﬂe in seats E6-10.

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UPFRONT -- and they ought to be ashamed -- its demise will be a step forward for the team and for the city of Cleveland. Regardless of its creator’s intent, the image caricaturizes a race of human beings, untold members of which the U.S. has murdered and banished and quarantined since colonizers ﬁrst set foot on the continent. The logo itself has been ardently opposed for decades by members of the local American Indian community and their supporters. And in this era of racial hostility and vile rhetoric, relegating this symbol to the Western Reserve Historical Society is the only way to honor the death of its creator. — Allard

CLEVELAND SETTLES YET ANOTHER EXCESSIVE FORCE LAWSUIT AGAINST POLICE We strive to meet all of your premium tobacco needs with unparalleled knowledge, service and facilities. We offer a wide selection of pipe tobacco, lighters, cigar cutters, humidors and briar pipes.

| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

Last week, the city of Cleveland paid $370,000 in a legal settlement with Kipp Holloway, who had sued the city and the police department over accusations of excessive use of force. Sgt. Timothy Patton shot Holloway during a 2014 response to a robbery report. From our earlier reporting: As Holloway explains in his civil complaint, he met two acquaintances who gave him a ride to a nearby RTA station. Those two men were absconding from a robbery, Holloway soon realized. He ran from the car after the driver hit a fire hydrant. Patton and Lt. Paul Baeppler caught up with Holloway in a garage, where Holloway said he was unarmed. Patton shot the man in the arm and “yanked [Holloway] up to his knees and forced the barrel of his weapon into Holloway’s mouth,” according to the lawsuit. (“The good news is he’s alive and can talk about it,” Holloway’s attorney told Cleveland. com when the case was initially filed with the county.) Holloway says the two Cleveland police officers mocked his injuries afterward. He’s also undergone at least three surgeries because of the shooting and has shrapnel in his chest, where the bullet ricocheted after hitting his arm. During the case and through the police department’s internal discipline process, it was confirmed that the city had failed in its training of Patton and Baeppler. “The shooting of Kipp Holloway was completely unjustified. Timothy Patton shot and permanently injured a man who was surrendering and unarmed,” Terry Gilbert, one of the

attorneys representing Holloway, said in a public statement this week. “Yet again an ofﬁcer attempted to justify a shooting by covering his actions with a fabricated story.” Add another $375,000 to the millions of dollars paid by the city of Cleveland to cover excessive use of force settlements. — Eric Sandy

STATEHOUSE APPROVES DOWN SYNDROME ABORTION BAN State lawmakers have passed a ban on abortions based on a Down syndrome diagnosis. Gov. John Kasich is expected to sign the bill into law. Ohio would follow legislative luminaries like Indiana and North Dakota in advancing this cause. (A federal judge blocked Indiana’s law, and an appeal remains pending.) The Ohio bill would make it a fourth-degree felony to perform an abortion in cases of Down syndrome. A physician’s medical board

DIGIT WIDGET 8’ X 6’ X 7’ Dimensions of the “tiny sheds” that a mission-driven man in Akron is building to house that city’s homeless population.

$57 MILLION Campaign funding from pharmaceutical companies to defeat Issue 2 (regarding state drug pricing) in Ohio. The issue’s supporters spent $17 million.

8 Number of winning Browns seasons since 1981. With Sunday’s loss to Baltimore, looks like we’ll probably miss that mark again this year.

5 Number of people charged in Nov. 25 shooting that killed 12-year-old boy on Buckeye Road and East 116th Street.

licensure would be revoked. Mothers would not be charged with any crime in these cases. “Every Ohioan deserves the right to life, no matter how many chromosomes they have,” said Mike Gonidakis, president of Ohio Right to Life, in praise of this bill. With a 20-12 vote, though, the Ohio state government has insisted that it wants to be part of that decision. It’s nothing new from a Republican-led Statehouse that has approved more than a dozen abortion restrictions with Kasich’s signature. Nonetheless, State Rep. Nickie Antonio (D-Lakewood) offered the resounding argument that can’t seem to ﬁnd any traction in Columbus these days: “Last time I checked, women were still citizens.” — Sandy

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Before going any further: Let’s stress the headline and reiterate that that no dispensary licenses have yet been awarded in Ohio. Through a public records request with the city of Cleveland, though,

we’ve obtained all the addresses that are attached to applications for medical marijuana dispensary licenses. Some will win those licenses, and most will not. The state has 57 licenses to distribute across Ohio. Statewide, 370 businesses applied for those licenses. It’s expected that the northeast part of the state, including Cuyahoga County, will receive 18 licenses before the medical marijuana law is officially active in September 2018. Below, you’ll find the addresses attached to applications filed from within the city of Cleveland. All told, 25 businesses filed zoning forms in Cleveland alongside their state license applications; most of them went on to to file state paperwork. (The forms represent a formality in the process, confirming only that the address is not located in a zoned area that prohibits marijuana businesses from setting up shop.) s 4020 Payne Ave., Treat and Kure Dispensary s 4002 Jennings Road, EC ALT PHARM Inc. s 3865 Lakeside Ave., Greenleaf Apothecaries s 3644 Steelyard Dr., Harvest of Ohio LLC s 3540 West 140th St.,

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The Releaf Center s 300 Prospect Ave., GTI Ohio LLC s 2775 S. Moreland Blvd., GTI Ohio LLC s 2420 Hamilton Ave., The Harvest Foundation of Ohio s 2418-22 Brookpark Rd. (x2), Ohio Wellness LLC s 2338 Canal Rd., Debbie’s Dispensary Ohio LLC s 2302 Hamilton Ave., Black Diamond Investment LLC s 2221 Hamilton Ave., Black Diamond Investment LLC s 2020 St. Clair Ave., Glasshouse Farma* s 2020 Lakeside Ave., Hanging Gardens OH LLC s 1968 W. 3rd St., Glasshouse Retail LLC s 1657 St. Clair Ave., Black Diamond Investment LLC s 1647 St. Clair Ave., Black Diamond Investment LLC s 1500 Brookpark Rd., The Harvest Foundation of Ohio s 1267 West 9th St., The Forest Cleveland LLC s 1222 Prospect Ave., GTI Ohio LLC (Notes: For Glasshouse Farma, we’re unable to conﬁrm whether that business went on to apply in full for a state license. For Black Diamond Investment LLC, only

two Northeast Ohio addresses were ultimately packaged in applications with the state; we’re unable to confirm for this story which addresses were used in final applications.) Each applicant paid a nonrefundable $5,000 fee for a shot at a dispensary license. GTI Ohio Inc., a company that lists local investor and businessman Bobby George as a contact, applied for licenses at 12 locations across the state, including three in Cleveland. Glasshouse Retail, which lists Saucy Brew Works partner and REspring co-founder Brent Zimmerman as a contact, applied for four licenses. Recently, Cleveland City Council approved planning and zoning regulations that line up closely with how the state has regulated where a medical marijuana business could be located: namely, nowhere within 500 feet of schools, parks, churches and libraries. There is no firm date set for when dispensary licenses will be approved and awarded. Cultivation licenses have already been awarded; there will be no marijuana grow sites in the city of Cleveland for now. Eastlake and Parma will each house a facility. — Sandy

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FEATURE

WIN W IIN NT N TE T E ER R MADE MADE MA A EE EASY EA AS A Y A guide de e tto os surviving urviving rviving v ng (and (an nd d actua a ac allly enjoy enjoying) njoyiing ng) this th s season aso on n in n Cl Clevelan Cleve evelland d B SScene By Sce e Staff ff

he instinct, once the sun disappears and the temperatures drop and snow begins to fall, hits hard. It tells you to hunker down, to hibernate, to hide indoors, ideally beneath blankets, probably watching the same Parks and Recreation n episodes you’ve seen a dozen times. This weather, this godforsaken season… not fit for man nor beast, it says. It’s easy to obey, to give in, to write off the winter months and wait out the spring. But what a waste. Doing so may protect you from all manners of evil that arrive with whipping winds off Lake Erie this time of year — blizzards, traffic, sub-zero notches on the thermometer, extended family — but it also means missing out on everything good that comes with the bitter ice and snow. We’re not asking you to layer up and ride the Iditarod here. Staring down Old Man Winter, or even embracing him, doesn’t mean you have to go ice fishing or defiantly fire up the grill in a pair of Tommy Bahama shorts. It just means being a little adventurous, and, yes, cozy and well fed too. With that in mind, the Scenee staff, hearty veterans of Cleveland winters all, has some recommendations on how to not only make it through the winter, but how to come out the other end a little better for the effort.

FOO OD D YOU’RE GOING TO WANT TO EAT. You have to anyway, of course, but tthis time of year calls for sturdy sustenance, the kind of dishes that warm your belly after bracing the elements or fuel your body, the ﬁne-tuned machine that it is, in preparation for that nap you’ve been thinking about all day. Char Siu, Otani Noodle The ramen wave is starting to T hit Cleveland in a big way with the he arrival of Xinji in Ohio City and Otani Noodle in the former Noodlecat space near Public Square. Which is perfect timing, because Wh nothing warms the cockles better not than ha some broth and noodles. Otani’s ssignature dish — the char siu — shouldn’t be missed. Roasted pork shouldn is ser served in a delicious tonkotsu broth w with ramen noodles, scallions, mushrooms, seaweed, corn and a boiled egg. It’s the Japanese version boile of cchicken noodle soup and it’s taking over the city. tak Bun Bo Hue, Asia Tea House B When it comes to off-the-beatenWhe path th restaur restaurants, you’d have a hard time me topping Asia A Tea House. To get here, ere, you ﬁrst need to pay a visit to

the AsiaTown neighborhood. Once there, make your way to Asian Town Center, a 115,000-square-foot warehouse-turned-mall, the anchor tenant of which is Asia Foods, a sprawling Asian grocery. If you enter that store and wind your way clear to the back — past the produce coolers, live seafood tanks and butcher counter — you’ll reach a point where the market ends and the warehouse begins. Congratulations: You just found Asia Tea House. Next up, order the Bun Bo Hue, the spicy Vietnamese beef noodle soup. This oil-slicked winter warmer is like the punk rock version of pho, with blistering heat, fatty brisket, bright lemongrass highs, and thick round noodles in place of pho’s thin, ﬂat and delicate ones. Christmas Ale Donut, Brewnuts Cleveland reached peak donut this year, and my what a mighty delicious summit. Among those responsible for that accomplishment is Brewnuts, whose home in Detroit Shoreway is a cozy combination of bar, coffeehouse and done factory perfect for a chilly weekend morning or afternoon. Get with the season and order yourself a Great Lakes Christmas Ale Donut. Made with Great Lakes Christmas Ale and holiday spice icing, it’s all topped with a ginger snap crumble and sprinkles. Carbs are always good.

They’re just better in the form of a donut. Pierogies, Sokolowski’s It may sound insane, but there are actual lifelong Clevelanders who have never eaten at Sokowoloski’s University Inn. It’s inexplicable, really. If you’re in that bunch, ﬁx that now. The treasure has been dishing up eastern European goodness since 1923 — it’s the second oldest restaurant in Cleveland, after Little Italy’s Guarinos — and it remains the quintessential Cleveland dining experience. There’s no more quintessential Cleveland dish than the pierogi, a potato-ﬁlled dumpling served with sour cream and onions.

They make for a perfect side dish h for any of Sokolowski’s hearty entrees es (we humbly recommend the chicken ken paprikash), but, really, who needss all that other stuff anyway. Braised Lamb Fettuccine, Black ack Pig One doesn’t, and shouldn’t, automatically go to a place called Black Pig and order the lamb. mb. And when it comes to Mike Nowak’s wak’s gem, snuggled behind Dave’s Supermarke arket in Ohio City, you should absolutely y dig into all of the piggy dishes. But we have a hard time passing on the braised lamb fettuccine. Each ach swirled bite of kale and cheese ese and meat melts in your mouth outh like your grandmother’s mother’s pot roast. | clevescene.com m | December 20 - 26, 2017

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| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

NETFLIX ISN’T GOING ANYWHERE, pal. And do you really want to log another dozen hours rewatching The Office, especially when some low-level data analyst at Netflix is going to come across your account and know exactly how sad and completely mundane your life is? Get a jumpstart on actually fulfilling your impending New Year’s resolution to read more, or make good on that same promise you made last year, and pick up a freaking book.

Ill Will, by Dan Chaon An emotional thriller set in Cleveland featuring satanic cults and True-Detective-ish investigations? Count us in. This novel, written by local laureate Dan Chaon, was published in 2017 to widespread critical acclaim. It was called the “scariest novel of the year” by the Washington Post and celebrated as a “creepy headtrip” by the Chicago Tribune. It focuses on a psychiatrist who attempts to investigate a serial killer as his half-brother (who was wrongfully imprisoned for the murder of their parents) has just been released. Made for Love, by Alissa Nutting Alissa Nutting, the fiction writer who taught at John Carroll for several years, has written an audacious, hilarious follow-up to her acclaimed 2013 novel, Tampa. It’s Made for Love, and it arrived this summer “with all the irrepressible, grotesque flamboyance of a flasher at a funeral,” wrote NPR. Her latest follows Hazel, a woman who has abandoned her husband, a tech CEO (for a company called Gogol) who has implanted a chip in her brain. Meantime, a con artist discovers a sexual preference for dolphins. Readers can expect doses of the outrageous — sex dolls are bigger players than dolphins, truth be told — and prose that leaps off the page. It’s also got one of the more inspired characters in modern literary fiction, a loner and part-time gravesitter named “Liver.” Sandwich Anarchy, by John G This one’s easy, no reading involved. Local artist John G is a friend of Scene. He has designed several of our publication’s most memorable covers this year, including the infamous Frank Jackson “Thriller” illustration. This year, he also released Sandwich Anarchy, which includes prints from John G’s poster designs for Melt

Bar & Grilled. John G created more than 250 posters since 2008 with Melt founder Matt Fish, including for iconic sandwiches like the Parmageddon and the Wake and Bacon. Experience them all in this eye-popping volume, available at local bookstores and at Barnes & Noble online. 50 Must-Try Craft Beers of Ohio by Rick Armon A local newspaper reporter and beer blogger, Rick Armon traveled the state tasting beer as he researched his book, 50 Must-Try Craft Beers of Ohio. In the 200-something page book, you’ll find detailed descriptions of local winter beers such as Great Lakes Christmas Ale, Brew Kettle’s Jack Hammer and Thirsty Dog’s Wulver Wee Heavy Ale. The book also includes chapters on the best breweries to visit, the origins of brewery names (local joints such Bad Tom Smith Brewing Co. and Butcher and the Brewer each have entries), influential people in the Ohio brewing world (profiles of local folks such as Fat Head’s Brewery’s Matt Cole, Winking Lizard’s John Lane, Hoppin’ Frog’s Fred Karm and Great Lakes Brewing Co.’s Pat and Dan Conway) and Ohio foods that go well with Ohio beers (pierogies and sauerkraut balls, naturally). Little Fires Everywhere, by Celeste Ng This sophomore novel from Celeste Ng has received universal rave reviews for many reasons but partly because the setting — Shaker Heights — is so thoroughly and meticulously brought to life, becoming a character itself. There’s good reason for that — it’s where Ng grew up. “Writing about my hometown is a little bit like writing about a relative,” she told NPR. “You see all of the great things about them, you love them dearly, and yet you also know all of their quirks and their foibles.” Here that means a deep, complex novel about race, community and families as a single mother and her daughter upend the idyllic life of the suburb.

| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

FEATURE GET ACTIVE WITH THE PROPORTIONATE relationship between holiday caloric intake (read: too many winter and Christmas ales) and the width of your belly and love handles comes an urgency to be proactive in limiting the spreading diameter of your midsection. Your spring and summer co-ed soccer and softball leagues are still months away, but that doesn’t mean you’re sequestered to the treadmill until everything thaws. Indoor Golfing at Lost Nation Sports Park When the snow and sleet and wind have you jonesin’ for the sight of green, and your golf bag sits frozen and idling in your trunk, you need not spring for flights to South Carolina or Hawaii to hit the links. You can drive to Lost Nation Sports Park in Willoughby for a state-ofthe-art indoor golfing experience. You can use your own clubs or rent

a complimentary set as you cruise through 18 holes at some of the world’s most famous courses in about an hour. The digital system is incredibly precise, meaning your shots will still hook and slice and bounce off trees, just like they would outdoors. Playing inside means you don’t have to walk or drive to your next shot, the digital simulator takes you right there. (Cost: $32/hour, $17/ half-hour.) Shuffleboard at Forest City Shuffleboard No, you’re not on a luxury cruise ship with your grandma’s Florida retirement community pals; you’re right here in Cleveland. This Ohio City establishment boasts five

indoor and two outdoor full-sized shufﬂeboard courts perfect for when you want to be sort of active, but not too much, and with a beer in hand. Play is reserved by the hour or in group league sessions, and is a breeze to learn. With 20 beers on tap and more TVs than you can shake a cue at, Forest City’s a snowbird paradise on the north shore. Sledding, Thornton Park, Shaker Heights Sledding ain’t just for the kids, folks. Plunk down a ten-spot at your local sporting good store for a saucer and hit the hills, because channeling your inner child is one way to remember that there are, in fact, good things to experience in this world,

despite what the news and your Twitter feed are telling you. Sure, you should call your congressional representatives to voice your concern over tax bills and net neutrality, but you can do that on the way to or from your favorite local plunge. Thornton Park hill in Shaker Heights is one of our favorites. Learn to Ski, Finally Strapping on the skis for the ﬁrst time only to stand next to a bunch of kindergartners can be a bit humiliating. Kids are much closer to the ground; they bounce back easily after a fall. But don’t let them intimidate you. Skiing is not just something rich people’s children should learn. Adults, yes even midincome ones in their 20s or 30s, should try, too. The secret to hitting the slopes your ﬁrst time is to take lessons. And at Boston Mills, and its sister nextdoor at Brandywine, group lessons begin at $25 (or $75 for lesson, rental and day ski pass). Remember to not compare yourself to the 5-year-olds on the slopes. With skiing, you don’t have to be athletic, just determined. The best part of weathering the cold and the inevitable soreness to come is that ice-cold beer waiting for you at the end of the day in the lodge, something none of those kids get to enjoy.

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| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

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NEW YEAR’S EVE YOU’RE GOING TO WANT SOME New Year’s Eve plans. Yes, we know, it’s amateur hour, but if any year is worth burying in the rearview with nothing but good thoughts for the future, it’s this miserable 2017. In that spirit, this Dec. 31 is one worth getting off the couch for, if just momentarily. Pickwick & Frolic/Hilarities Want to post up downtown but no one in your group can really agree on what to do? Head to the East Fourth Street comedy club. There’s a dinner buffet with salmon, rosemary and garlic pork and herb-roasted chicken. Meanwhile, Chicago-based comedian Pat McGann will be performing stand-up and local musicians Tony Quarles and the Discovery Band will be rocking the house with live tunes all night. Is there more? Of course! Viva Las Vegas is putting on a cabaret show and a champagne toast awaits at midnight, along with party favors and a balloon drop that will give this eclectic night the perfect New Year’s Eve touch. Packages are available for all the different acts. Cle Urban Winery This Cleveland Heights, located in the historic Cedar-Lee neighborhood, is an industrial-chic winery and relative newcomer to the neighborhood, opening last summer. It’s already a bustling favorite, and New Year’s Eve will be no exception. Their customer appreciation party will feature local singer-songwriter Diana Chittester performing from 7 to 10 p.m., a DJ who’ll continue the good grooves the rest of the night. Complimentary wine will be handed out at midnight and appetizers will be passed around throughout the evening. Grog Shop

Good tunes are the prescription for a healthy start to 2018 at the Grog Shop where ska/punk reggae band Bumpin’ Uglies from Annapolis, Maryland, along with Dutty, a Haitian reggae musician, will keep spirits high to start the evening. Following them: Tropidelic, a funky jam band from Kent and local psychedelic rock band Vibe and Direct. A champagne toast will go down at midnight, at which point you might want something other than a PBR tall boy or Black Label… maybe. Cleveland Pops Orchestra The 22nd annual Legends of Rockand-Roll New Year’s Eve Celebration from the Cleveland Pops Orchestra will make Severance Hall ground zero for two hours of hits from the 1950s through the ’90s on NYE. Featuring Ashtabula-native Connor Bogart O’Brien, the orchestra will role through songs from Billy Joel, Simon and Garfunkel, the Beatles and many more. The party doesn’t stop there, of course. Following the Pops, the No Name Band and the Pops Jazz Ensemble keep the shindig rolling to the wee early hours. Cloud Nothings at Beachland Ballroom We put a lot of pressure on New Year’s Eve in this country. Dec. 31 needs to be the most fun, we say, and the kiss at the end of the night must impress. But here’s a secret: treat it like a regular celebration of life on a normal weekend and expectations are always met. That’s why the Cloud Nothings show at the Beachland Ballroom is one of your best bets this NYE. The Cleveland-based band had a huge 2017 — releasing Life Without Sound in January, playing Lollapalooza, and opening for Japandroids on tour — but the indie rock band’s retro ’90s-themed show at Beachland is a homecoming of sorts, and that feels right and decidedly normal. Openers include Half an Animal, Christmas Pets, The Village Bicycle and Forager.

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| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

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FEATURE COFFEE & TEA CAFFEINE. PRONTO. AND something warm. Preferably together. And a quiet, cozy space to get some work done without your eager but annoying nieces around, same with those co-workers who want to regale you with every unnecessary detail about what side dishes did what to their delicate gastro-intestinal systems last weekend. Thankfully, weâ€™ve got some helpful suggestions. Gypsy Bean If you know, you know. Gypsy is the titan of westside indie coffee shops, and you can bet that youâ€™ll encounter at least three major business or political stakeholders during your visit. Itâ€™s warm and inviting, while also feeling like a Gordon Square-size Grand Central. Chef-owner Nicole Gillota presides over a global menu of hot beverages (â€œpassport lattesâ€?), and the daily coffee brews are a true delight.

KofďŹ e Cafe

(Donâ€™t sleep on that pizza, either. Or the vegan baked goods.) Gordon Square recently caught a nice little proďŹ le in the New York Times, and we all know from ďŹ rsthand experience that itâ€™s a wonderful neighborhood â€” morning, night or weekend. Now get thee to Gypsy and feel the true romance of wintertime in Cleveland. KofďŹ e Cafe We often think of breweries and choice dining when we think of the West 25th/Market corridor. And, sure, this neighborhood remains the place to be for nightlife and subsequent weekend brunching. But KofďŹ e Cafe has quietly held steady as one of the nicer refuges for a caffeinated rendezvous on the near west side. Between the nice little bar and the cafe tables tucked together along the window, thereâ€™s always a spot to

post up and chat with local movers and shakers here. It doesnâ€™t get the headlines that its westside competition gets, but that makes it all the more enticing for the casual coffee bean fan. Cleveland Tea Revival Thereâ€™s nothing quite like a hot cup of tea in the winter. Tea aďŹ cionados will tell you as much, but we know that there are plenty of tea-curious folks out there, too. You can dip your toes into the world of black teas, green teas, jasmine-infused pearls, matcha and so on. Cleveland Tea Revival, located right on West 29th Street, is the perfect place for both tea audiences, old and new alike. Its calming interior makes the menu easy to navigate, and there are a few seats along the window for writers in need of shelter. Please donâ€™t miss the â€œlivingâ€? wall of plants on the buildingâ€™s southern side; itâ€™s an Ohio City icon at

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this point. Algebra Tea House Featuring a robust menu of ethnic teas and global coffees, this quiet haunt is a warm and cozy wintertime retreat. We love the hot beverages and the homemade middle-eastern cuisine, but weâ€™re also big fans of the handcrafted wooden furniture and the earthenware plates and mugs. Itâ€™s the most unique coffeeshop in Cleveland, with one of the friendliest owners and hosts. And because it caters to Case Western students (who can be spotted with textbooks day and night), itâ€™s open later than most as well. You canâ€™t miss the oddly shaped door and green frontage on Murray Hill. Deweyâ€™s Coffee On Shaker Square, with the Rapid Transit whirring in the background and the Christmas decorations on every visible sill, the Deweyâ€™s Coffee experience is optimized for wintertime. You can enjoy the warmth of an organic, local, fair-trade brew while people-watching through the big windows. While we recommend Deweyâ€™s for a meetup with an old friend â€” maybe rekindle a romance over Christmas break? â€” itâ€™s also well-suited for studying or reading a good book that you just bought at Loganberry on Larchmere.

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BOOZE OH, YOU WANT SOMETHING stronger? Of course you do. And while we’re all for grabbing that sixer on the way home and propping our feet up firmly on the recliner, it lacks a certain sentiment of the season. Winter drinking, much like any other drinking, is all about finding that magic elixir that perfectly matches setting and suds/spirit. Our humble, and totally correct, recommendations: The Spotted Owl Tremont’s The Spotted Owl is the dark, subterranean lair that’s perfect for the winter season. Blue-collar shot-and-a-beer bars are a dime a dozen in Cleveland, and while we love and cherish most of them, sometimes the situation calls for a well-crafted cocktail. (And if not, you can order the “Granddad and the Grenade” — a Coors and an Old Forester Bourbon — at the Owl). This moody bar is already perfect for low, late-night conversations and/or literary musings, but with a full Christmas cocktail menu, the ambience is enhanced further still. Might we recommend the “Run Run Rudolph,” featuring tequila, coffee liqueur, and Mexican spices? Or perhaps the “Snowball Old Fashioned” with gingerbread bourbon and wormwood bitters. You really can’t go wrong. Forest City Brewery We can think of no finer place to hunker down this winter than Forest City Brewery. It may be the perfect location for wintertime drinking (and their beer garden is no snoozer when it comes to summertime drinking). Once inside, sidle up to the bar and order yourself a Bavarian Kaffee. It’s Forest City’s charming and fulfilling chocolate coffee stout, and it will rush all your winter blues away. Grab a game from the shelves or kick back

and watch some playoff football on the projection screen. It’s all of a piece here. Society Lounge For those who like the way sour things roll on the tongue, the New York Sour ($13) at Society Lounge is incredibly satisfying. This isn’t anything like those whiskey sours you used to pound back in college, the ones made with plastic bottle whiskey and chemical-tasting sour mix. This is a beverage lovingly handmade with rye whisky, real lemon juice, simple syrup and a very special ingredient, Argentine red wine, which adds a rich depth to the puckering effect. Best of all the drink, which dates back to the 1880s, fits in smashingly with Society Lounge’s high-end basement oasis vibe. Here, you’re fancy. Even if for one drink. LBM You know who didn’t mind the cold? Vikings. So what more perfect setting for a winter nightcap or happy hour than a Viking-themed bar? Yes, it exists. LBM, which recently opened in Birdtown, is a Viking bar with heavy metal vibes, detailed all the way down to the cocktail names (the Spoils of Asgard, Blood Eagle, Seaside Terror). They’re all delicious but we find ourselves coming back to the Fate of It All (gin, lemon, apple rosemary cordial, Cynar). LBM sports one of the cheapest happy hours around and a bona-fide menu of small plates to counteract the boozy concoctions. Rowley Inn In terms of setting, you can’t get more Christmas and holiday season than a bar directly across from the Christmas Story house. There are many reasons to love the Rowley (its early morning hours, its breakfast, its cheap, cheap booze), and they’re all heightened due to the proximity to one of the city’s most famous landmarks, especially in the weeks before and after marathon viewings of the Christmas classic. Keep it simple with a shot of well whiskey. Full-length pink rabbit onesie optional but encouraged.

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LITERALLY. SURE, YOUâ€™RE basically the poster child for Outdoor Magazine in the summer when the sun is shining and the views totally IG-worthy, but limiting your enjoyment of Northeast Ohioâ€™s varied and wondrous trails to the nicer months means missing out on the quiet solitude and snowy grandeur of a short hike in the less traveled months of the calendar. Layering is key here. And avoid cotton. Secure a nice pair of boots. Thatâ€™s all you need to take in the splendor of a reinvigorating winter walk on one of these ďŹ ve trails. Salt Run You canâ€™t go wrong with just about any trail in Cuyahoga Valley National Park, but weâ€™re very fond of Salt Run, which winds for about four miles around a few ponds and enough hills to keep even the most experienced hiker engaged with the terrain. Salt Run is part of a network of trails that runs east off Akron Peninsula Road, one of the main trafďŹ c arteries of the park. Upon arriving at the trailhead, a terriďŹ c wall of pines will beckon you inside. Bring proper footwear; the hills arenâ€™t insane, but the snow and ice will make this trail a bit more challenging this time of year. Squireâ€™s Castle Most people around here have at the very least heard of Squireâ€™s Castle, that sturdy North Chagrin Reservation relic to a lost time in Northeast Ohio history. Built in the 1890s by one Feargus B. Squire as a home for his gatekeeper, the castle was meant to be just a small part of a future estate that never materialized. These days, itâ€™s a picturesque getaway for picnics and a little bit of hiking. After youâ€™ve Instagrammed your visit, you should wander behind the castle and into the woods. There, a sprawling network of neatly trimmed trails awaits. For the most part, this is moderate terrain; itâ€™s a bit hilly back there, but this is family-friendly hiking for all ages.

Bring binoculars, and keep an eye out for birds. Axe Throwing Whether you look like a lumberjack already and want to up your cred or consider yourself an extreme sports up-and-comer, get thee to Cleveland Axe Throwing in Valley View where you can competitively throw an axe at a target. Yes, this is real, a bit of ESPN7 come to life. Two-hour sessions for $32 a person will give you every opportunity to take out your aggression ... er, display your deft skill, we mean. Experts will guide you through the ins and outs and rotations of accurately chucking a 1.5-pound axe, and doing so safely. Cleveland Metroparks Blue Moon Hike The Blue Moon Hike only comes along once in a blue moon, so youâ€™ll not want to miss this one. Each month, the Metroparks leads visitors in a full moon hike across one of the many Northeast Ohio trails. Because January 2018 gets two full moons, the second full moon â€” the â€œBlue Moonâ€? on Jan. 31 â€” almost feels like a bonus event for nighttime hikers. These are fun and mostly easy-going hikes; as long as thereâ€™s little to no cloud cover, you wonâ€™t need a ďŹ‚ashlight or anything. Bring good boots â€” and maybe even some boot chains or a similar product â€” because you can reasonably expect ice and snow along the route. Check clevelandmetroparks.com for future full moon hikes; for this one, meet at the Hinckley Lake Boathouse. The hike will be 3.4 miles, and itâ€™s free to join. Fort Hill Maybe youâ€™ve climbed the semiendless ďŹ‚ights of stairs in the North Olmsted reservation to bask in the fall foliage dotting the Rocky River valley. You probably havenâ€™t climbed those same stairs, ascending 90 feet above the riverbed, for an altogether different but equally mesmerizing view at a snow-covered landscape. Continue on along the valley, winding along the edge before dipping to a marshy landscape and back to the sanctity of the warm car.

COMFORTS YES, COMFORTS. FOR ALL OUR bellyaching about getting the hell out of the house we know there will be hours, and likely days and maybe weeks, when that’s not possible or practical or advised. (Samesies.) Get cozy AF with the following: Ol’ Christmas Tree Candle, Cleveland Candle Co. With two locations (Coventry and Diamond Centre roads in Mentor) the Cleveland Candle Company is here to deliver you the sweetest scented accompaniments to the season. They offer more than 150 varieties, and if you somehow can’t find anything you like in the bunch, you can also design your own. This time of year, nothing makes us feel homier and happier than the ‘Ol’ Christmas Tree’ version, the perfect substitute if you can’t get the real thing into your residence or if you’ve long chucked the tree and miss the piney wafts. Over

90 percent of the oils used in their candles are locally sourced and all of their labels are printed on recycled paper made right here in Cleveland, which makes this a win-win for you and local businesses. Believeland Beanie, Homage Homage, the Columbusbased apparel company, has been slinging some of the best vintage sports gear around since 2007. In the ensuing decade, they’ve branched out to include apparel for just about any team you love. Their heart is still in Ohio, though, as is yours. For our money and cold noggin, there’s nothing finer or more appropriate than the Believeland beanie, available in both Cavs and Indians color combinations. (Not the Browns, though, because why would anyone want that?) Naming Wrongs Hoodie The Browns suck and the Cavs really doesn’t matter until the spring, which has us and probably many of you thinking and talking about the Indians instead. As we count down the days until pitchers and catchers report, we like to do so in an “I Still Call It the Jake”

hoodie from the Naming Wrongs collection. Yes, the building at the corner of Carnegie and Ontario will always be Jacobs Field to us (sorry, Progressive). Grab one for yourself or another corporatenaming opponent in your life at teespring.com/ stores/namingwrongs. Emote Throw If you ever wanted to wear your emotions on your sleeve in a literal sense, drop by Dittohouse’s online store and pick up an emote throw. The blanket, made from recycled cotton and sustainable fibers, is basically an entire emoji keyboard beneath which you can bury yourself for the duration of your latest binge-watching session. Toasty warm, of course, and it sure beats talking to people.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene

| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

GET OUT WED

everything you should do this week 12/20

COMEDY

Tim Burton’s A Nightmare Before Christmas screens at Severance Hall. See: Wednesday.

Bo Dacious A veteran of the comedy world, Bo Dacious has done standup for over 13 years now. He pushes the boundaries by joking about more serious topics such as race, physical appearances, people taking advantage of fame and the struggles of trying to succeed. He has a conversational tone that makes the audience feel a connection to him and his jokes. He has worked with other well-known comedians such as Dave Chappelle, Cedric the Entertainer, Lewis Black and Eddie Griffin. He performs tonight at 7:30 at the Improv, where he has shows scheduled through Saturday. Tickets are $17 to $20. (Jeff Niesel) 10705 Northfield Road, Northfield, 330-908-7771, hrrocksinonorthfieldpark.com. THEATER

A Christmas Carol Charles Dickens was a hell of a writer, but he could be a tad verbose. So it’s convenient that there have been so many great stage and screen versions of his classic ghost story. One of them — required viewing for anyone with a Netﬂ ix membership — is the 1951 movie starring Alastair Sim as a Scrooge for all eternity. And the other is this Great Lakes Shakespeare Festival production, which never fails to engage and delight. Framed cozily as a story within a story in this Gerald Freedman adaptation, the production really comes alive once the ghost of Jacob Marley appears, dragging his chains and creaking eerily with every movement. This annual tribute to knee-jerk liberal sentiments, like compassion for the downtrodden, is always a must-see, whether you’ve seen it before or not. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 at the Ohio Theatre. Tickets are $28 to $75. Performances continue through Saturday. (Christine Howey) 1501 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org. THEATER

A Christmas Story A Christmas Story, a near-genius piece of American reminiscence, is so period-perfect and charming

that the squishy sentimentality (of which there is plenty) never leads to saccharine reﬂux. Philip Grecian is listed as the playwright, but everyone understands that the bulk of insights and telling detail comes from the mind of Jean Shepherd, who wrote the original story, co-authored the movie, and narrated the ﬂ ick in his distinctive, triple-wry voice. The Cleveland Play House’s production of Story rides a two-hour wave of intricate details to unerringly establish the period and to help even the youngest patrons make the leap back to a time before televisions were omnipresent and cowboy hero Red Ryder was king of the wireless. See it tonight at 7:30 at the Allen Theatre. Performances continue through Saturday. Tickets are $25 to $110. (Howey) 1407 Euclid Ave., playhousesquare. org. AUTHOR

Greg Cielec Book Signing Greg Cielec’s My Cleveland Story, a coming-of-age novel set in the ‘70s and ‘80s, captures a range of experiences. The book includes descriptions of high school football games and all-night fraternity parties. As a press release puts it, the book is about living in a city

with “a last place baseball club, and a football team that always broke your heart.” Cielec participates in a book signing today from 5 to 9 at Visible Voice Books. The local band Cats on Holiday will perform as well. A donation will be made to the ALS Association Northern Ohio Chapter for each book sold. Admission is free. (Niesel) 2258 Professor Ave., 216-961-0084, visiblevoicebooks.com. MUSIC

Disney in Concert: Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas Tonight at 7:30 at Severance Hall, the Cleveland Orchestra plays Danny Elfman’s score to The Nightmare Before Christmas while the cult classic shows on the big screen. The ﬁlm centers on Halloweentown’s pumpkin king and his evil plan to bring Christmas under his control by kidnapping Santa Claus. Consult the orchestra website for ticket prices. (Niesel) 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com. BEER

Hoppin’ Frog Hoppy Hour Much like the Fat Head’s tasting room in Middleburg Heights, the

Hoppin’ Frog tasting room in Akron is in a non-descript strip of storage facilities and warehouses. But step inside and you’ll find a cozy space with a huge array of the brewery’s wonderful libations. The place features “hoppy hour” every weekday from 3 to 7 p.m. Tonight, the brewers visit the tasting room from 5 to 7 p.m. While they don’t fill growlers, you can drink bottles on site or take ‘em to go. The place also offers a “Hoppin’ Frog Rare & Vintage” list as well as a guest bottle list. And you can order from a limited food menu too. (Niesel) 1680-F Waterloo Rd., Akron, 234525-3764, hoppinfrog.com/tastingroom. SPORTS

Monsters Versus Iowa Wild Tonight at 7 at the Q, the Cleveland Monsters conclude a twogame stand against the Iowa Wild, the farm team for the Minnesota Wild. The Wild have played well – they’re just above .500 and have won a few more games than the Monsters. It’s College ID Night, so college students can purchase $6 tickets and $6 “college meals” that include a hot dog, chips and a soda. Tickets for the general public | clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

GET OUT

MUSIC

start at $10. (Niesel) 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, theqarena.com. THEATER

On Your Feet Directed by Tony Award winner Jerry Mitchell (Kinky Boots) and featuring choreography by Olivier Award winner Sergio Trujillo (Jersey Boys), the musical On Your Feet tells the story of Emilio and Gloria Estefan’s journey to America to become pop music sensations. Tonight’s show takes place at 7:30 at Connor Palace; performances continue through Saturday. Tickets are $29 to $109. (Niesel) 1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org. MUSIC

Cleveland Orchestra Christmas Concert The Cleveland Orchestra and Chorus celebrate the holidays with their annual series of Christmas concerts at Severance Hall. You’ll ﬁnd sing-alongs, guest choruses and a “surprise visitor” as the orchestra teams up with the Cleveland Orchestra Children’s

Cavaliers versus Chicago Bulls A perennial playoff contender, the Chicago Bulls have slipped this year and have become one of the worst teams in the Eastern Conference. Though the team has a promising rookie in sharp shooter Lauri Markkanen, don’t expect the Cavs to lose tonight as they take on their division rivals at 7 a the Q. Tickets start at $53. (Niesel) 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, theqarena.com.

Dave Landau Last Comic Standing has introduced us to dozens of incredible comedians, but none quite like Dave Landau. Sharp, dark, and sarcastic, Landau’s stand

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FRI

12/22

COMEDY

Dave Attell Known as the host of Comedy Central’s Insomniac with Dave Attell and The Gong Show, Dave Attell is also a great stand up comedian, writer and actor. A New York native, he graduated from NYU in 1987 with a degree in communications. During the day, he worked crappy jobs and did standup at night. After getting national exposure courtesy of David Letterman, his career took off. The caffeinated comic has a rapid ﬁre delivery that suggests he has trouble turning his mind off. He performs tonight at 7:30 and 10 at Hilarities and has shows scheduled for 7 and 9:30 p.m. tomorrow too. Tickets are $33 to $35. (Niesel) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com. SPORTS

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12/21

SPORTS

tonight at 8 at Hilarities. Tickets are $18 to $23. (Niesel) 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.

COMEDY

Give Peace & Love, Get Rock & Roll!

Ryan Humbert Christmas Show For the past nine years, local singer-songwriter Ryan Humbert has organized an annual Holiday Extravaganza. This year’s event, which takes place tonight and tomorrow night at 7:30 at the Akron Civic Theatre, features Humbert’s country band Shooter Sharp & the Shootouts along with special guest, singer-songwriter David Mayﬁeld. Proceeds beneﬁt the Cleveland Clinic Akron General’s Muffins for Mammograms program which provides free mammograms year-round for uninsured or under-insured women throughout Northeast Ohio. Humbert’s mother beat cancer, and he aims to support the hospital program that helps others beat cancer too. Tickets to the show are $20, $35 for two as part of the Civic’s “date night special.” (Niesel) 182 South Main St., Akron, 330253-2488, akroncivic.com.

THU

more information. (Niesel) 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.

Box Office Only. One voucher per item donated. One voucher per person per day. Valid only for adult or senior general admissions. Not valid for special events. Not valid with any other discount or promotional offer. Not valid towards the purchase of a two-day pass. Offer valid December 18th - December 31st, 2017.

1100 Rock and Roll Boulevard | rockhall.com/givelove

Chorus, the Cleveland Orchestra Youth Chorus, the Cleveland State University Chorale and the College of Wooster Chorus for these seasonal performances. Tonight’s concert begins at 7:30. and concerts continue through Saturday. Consult the website for ticket prices and

| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

up act is stand up for the cynic. He puts a new twist on the typically goofy nature of live comedy. He likes to joke that Halloween was a fun holiday for him as a kid. “I was poor and I used to have to ear a garbage and go as a raisin,” he jokes in one bit. He performs

Monsters vs. Milwaukee Admirals Tonight, the Monsters take on division rivals, the Milwaukee Admirals in the ﬁrst of a two-game series at the Q. As part of the team’s 1-2-3 FRIDAY promotion, there will be $1 Pepsi products, $2 Sugardale hot dogs and $3 beers (select 12 to 14 oz.). There will also be Star Wars character appearances and a themed game presentation that coincides with the opening of the new movie. Tomorrow night’s game features a special promotion courtesy of Saucy Brew Works. The ﬁrst 10,000 fans will receive a Monsters knit cap. Tickets start at $10. (Niesel) 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, theqarena.com. FAMILY FUN

Scuba Claus & the Seas’N of Play Scuba Claus & the Seas’N of Play continues today, tomorrow and Sunday at the Greater Cleveland Aquarium. You and the kids can see how hula hoops, fish-cicles and other toys and treats keep the Aquarium’s residents active and engaged. Seas’N of Play also features parallel sensory activities such as practicing to aim like an archerfish spurting a stream of water at a moving target. From noon to 1:30 p.m., patrons can see Scuba Claus dive into 230,000 gallons of water. You can even ask him questions while he visits a porcupine pufferfish, a green moray eel and other aquatic

creatures. Children get an original Scuba Claus coloring book and a temporary tattoo. Aquarium hours are 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. daily. Check the website for ticket prices. (Niesel) 2000 Sycamore Street, 216-8628803, greaterclevelandaquarium. com. NIGHTLIFE

Ugly Xmas Sweater Silent Disco The Grog Shop regularly hosts Silent Disco parties, silent raves during which people dance to music they listen to via wireless headphones. For tonight’s special Silent Disco dance party, the Grog Shop encourages patrons to don their ugliest Christmas sweater. DJ KNYCE, DJ Sputnik and DJ White Rims will each have their own channel that attendees can listen to. The event begins at 9 p.m. Tickets are $10 in advance, $12 at the door. (Niesel) 2785 Euclid Hts. Blvd., 216-3215588, grogshop.gs.

A N D N N UAL O C ES

FILM

2018

Dalida Dalida, a new film from director Lisa Azuelos, dramatizes the life of the Egyptian-born singer and actress who sold more than 170 million albums before she committed suicide in 1997. It screens today at 6:45 p.m. at the Cleveland Museum of Art. Tickets are $10, or $7 for CMA members. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org. FAMILY FUN

SAT

12/23

FILM

White Christmas Two happy couples who discover that love, romance and a Christmas

SUNDAY 12/31 7PM BILL NYE INSPIRED COCKTAILS NO COVER / THE SCIENCE GUY SHOW MARATHON

BILL”NYE”2018 HYPER COLOR TEES

PLUS

Pints for Pierogies Blood Drive + Malphonia Happy Hour! The American Red Cross Blood Donors’ Bloodmobile will be at the Happy Dog today from 3 to 8 p.m. to take donations. After giving blood, you can receive a complimentary side of pierogis from the club, where there will also be a special festive holiday happy hour with Malphonia, a local band that specializes in playing acoustic versions of popular tunes with “occasional forays” into odd time signatures. The happy hour lasts from 5:30 to 8:30 p.m. (Niesel) 5801 Detroit Ave., 216-651-9474, happydogcleveland.com.

ONE WILL BE GIVEN AWAY EVERY MINUTE FROM 11PM-MIDNIGHT!

16-BIT BAR+ARCADE 15012 DETROIT AVE + 16-BITBAR.COM | clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

GET OUT Eve snowfall perform the Irving Berlin songs on the soundtrack and dances in the classic 1954 ﬁlm White Christmas. Bing Crosby, Danny Kaye, Rosemary Clooney and Vera Allen star. Admission is just $10 and includes a complimentary mini-cocktail (or soft drink) and desserts courtesy of Gypsy Beans & Baking Company. The screening takes place at 11 this morning at the Cedar Lee

Theatre. (Niesel) 2163 Lee Rd., Heights, 216-3215411, clevelandcinemas.com. HOLIDAY FUN

Tropical Cleveland’s Annual Hot Latin Holiday Dance Party! Taste “Coquito,” the Island version of eggnog, made with coconut milk and rum, and dance with “Hot Latin Santa” at Tropical Cleveland’s annual Hot Latin Dance Party. Guest DJ Nacho will spin a “sizzling” mix of salsa, merengue and bachata. There will be a special Afro Caribbean

dance performance too. The event starts at 11 p.m. at the Music Box Supper Club, and tickets are $10 in advance, $15 at the door. (Niesel) Music Box Supper Club, 1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com. HOLIDAY FUN

Dungeons & Drag Queens: Winter is Coming — A Samantha Echo Show Cabaret singer Samantha Echo makes her Euclid Tavern debut with tonight’s special show, Dungeons & Drag Queens - Winter is Coming. IN keeping with the

show’s theme, Dungeonmaster Bubba Burger will host multiple short games of Dungeons & Dragons in the game room with some pre-made characters. The event begins at 9 p.m., and tickets are $5. (Niesel) 11625 Euclid Ave., 216-231-5400, happydogcleveland. com.

SUN

12/24

FILM

Big Sonia Winner of the audience award for best ﬁlm at this year’s Cleveland International Film Festival, Big Sonia proﬁles Holocaust survivor Sonia Warshawski, a 90-year-old woman who runs a tailor store in a Kansas City shopping mall. The movies screens at 1:30 p.m. today and at 1:45 p.m. on Tuesday at the Cleveland Museum of Art. Tickets are $10, $7 for CMA members. (Niesel) 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org. FAMILY FUN

Holiday Brunch Prosperity Social Club will offer a special holiday brunch today from 9:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. “Decadent” specials on the menu include Bread Pudding French Toast, Three Piggie Cassoulet, Pork Schnitzel and Hoppin John Soup. Reservations are recommended. The pub, which has a wood-burning stove, has been decorated with kitsch-y décor too. There will also be a holiday brunch on New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day as well. (Niesel) 1109 Starkweather Ave., 216-9371938, prosperitysocialclub.com. FAMILY FUN

Cats on Holiday Brunch The local “swamp pop” band Cats on Holiday plays the Music Box Supper Club today at noon as the club offers a special holiday brunch. If you just want to check the band out, that’ll cost you $10. If you want to eat too, the buffet costs $18. It includes items such as assorted pastries, fresh fruit, classic eggs Benedict and smoked bacon and sausage. (Niesel) 1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com. FAMILY FUN

Drop in Tour of Beyond Chicken Soup: Jews & Medicine in America At today’s special drop-in tour

| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

of the latest exhibit at the Maltz Museum of Jewish Heritage, you can hear how the ﬁeld of medicine has been “a vehicle for discrimination, acculturation and the strengthening of Jewish identity.” The exhibit also lets you explore the rich history of Northeast Ohio’s medical community, including the unique role that Mt. Sinai Hospital has played. A knowledgeable volunteer docent will guide the tour, which begins at 2 p.m. No reservations needed – and no extra charge. You just need to let the front desk know when you purchase your ticket that you would like to be part of the tour. Admission is $12, free for Maltz members. (Niesel) 2929 Richmond Rd., Beachwood, 216-593-0575, maltzmuseum.org.

MON

12/25

HOLIDAY FUN

12 Assholes of Christmas It’s a tradition that at noon on Christmas day, the punk rock club Now That’s Class opens its doors to welcome “those who don’t have anywhere to go or don’t wanna go anywhere” for an event dubbed 12 Assholes of Christmas. From noon to 3 p.m. today, the bar will offer specials on select Great Lakes beers, selling them for only $1. The price goes up by increments as the night goes on. Bring some food for the potluck dinner. DJ Kat Cade, DJ Krissy Krass, DJ Miah, Mr. California, Pisteria, Paul E. Wog, Andrew Kirshner, Pack Wolf, The Hippies/Basement Boys, Roobydocks and Short Order will provide the tunes. It’s free. (Niesel) 11213 Detroit Ave., 216-221-8576, nowthatsclass.net. FAMILY FUN

Give What You Can, Pay What You Can Christmas Day is a good a time as any to experience the inspiring stories in the Maltz Museum of Jewish Heritage’s newest exhibition, Beyond Chicken Soup: Jews & Medicine in America. Today’s events also include a screening of classic Fleischer Brothers Superman cartoons from the 1940s and a New Year’s card-making activity. All canned goods will be donated to the Cleveland Kosher Food Pantry and the Greater Cleveland Food Bank. Bring a canned good donation and/or pay what you can toward Museum admission. Canned goods will be donated to the Cleveland Kosher Food Pantry and the Greater

Cleveland Food Bank. The museum will be open from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. (Niesel) 2929 Richmond Rd., Beachwood, 216-593-0575, maltzmuseum.org. FAMILY FUN

Movie Mondays Every Monday, Cleveland Cinemas hosts $5 Movie Mondays, where film fans can catch up on the latest Hollywood flicks for significantly reduced prices. Bring your friends and family and make Movie Mondays a weekly tradition — many theaters even offer discounted concession stand items. Participating theaters include Apollo Theatre, Capitol Theatre, Cedar Lee Theatre, Chagrin Cinemas, Shaker Square Cinemas and Tower City Cinemas. Unfortunately, additional charges apply for 3D movies. (Alaina Nutile) clevelandcinemas.com.

TUE

12/26

MUSIC

Open Turntable Tuesday Tonight from 6 to 9, the Winchester hosts its weekly Open Turntable Tuesday. DJ Kris Koch offers 20-minute slots to people who want to bring their own vinyl and spin their favorite songs or deep tracks. Turntables are provided; you can play three to ﬁve songs during your time slot; and a mic is available to talk about the selections. (Niesel) 12112 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216-600-5338. MUSIC

Vinyl Night Jukebox owner Alex Budin has described his 1,350-squarefoot music-focused bar in the Hingetown ‘hood as “a place where people can expect to hear and learn about music of multiple genres, all of which is concentrated in a constantly evolving jukebox.” In keeping with that spirit and recognizing the burgeoning popularity of vinyl, the club hosts a vinyl night every Tuesday that serves as a listening party for new releases. The place has partnered with Loop in Tremont so that patrons can hear a new album on vinyl. You can bring your own vinyl and spin it too. It all starts at 5 p.m. (Niesel) 1404 West 29th St., 216-206-7699, jukeboxcle.com.

Find more events @clevescene.com t@clevelandscene

Wednesday Darts and $1 Sliders

Upcoming Bands:

Sunday Come Watch THE FOOTBALL PLAY on our two 100” screen projectors and 10 TV’s Open Pool Tournament ($5 to enter)

Melanie May December 23

Gravity January 6

Sunset Harmony January 20

38107 Second Street Willoughby, OH 44094

(440) 602-9780

Tuesday Night

FOOSBALL TOURNAMENTS Sign Up At 7PM

| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

STAGE

WHAT AMERICA LOOKS LIKE Immersion within On Your Feet at Playhouse Square By Christine Howey IS IT EVER PROPER TO SET YOUR critical thinking aside and just immerse yourself in a show for the sheer pleasure of it? After all, every show that raises its curtain doesn’t have to carry a big message or leave you with indelible characters, does it? These are the thoughts that go through one’s mind when encountering the colorful wave of music and dancing in On Your Feet, the Emilio & Gloria Estefan Broadway Musical. And just like that subtitle, this show is bracingly direct and no-nonsense. It wants to be liked—no, loved—by the audience, and it leaves no conga beat unsung and no dancing spin un-spun to achieve that goal. As you probably know, Gloria Estefan is the Cuban-American singer and songwriter who, along with her hubby and business partner Emilio, put together the incredibly successful group called The Miami Sound Machine. And a machine it was, from the mid-1970s and through the 80s, churning out songs with irrepressible beats such as “Conga,” “Dr. Beat,” and the sizzling “Rhythm Is Gonna Get You.” Of course, this isn’t a concert, there’s a story to tell. And similar to a basketful of puppies, the book by Alexander Dinelaris is adorable and not challenging in any way. Oh sure, there are some formula setbacks when a couple producers don’t

immediately cotton to the Estefan brand. Will the Cuban radio station disc jockeys in Miami ever play their music, since it’s in English? Will the English-speaking stations play Latin tunes? Not to worry, we know those objections will soon be washed away on the tsunami of songs and dances to come. One of the more appealing segments of the story is when we see Gloria and Emilio trying to get a foothold in the music business by playing at any venues they can scare up. This means they’re doing their thing at weddings, Shriners conventions and Bar Mitzvahs— anywhere they could go to get exposure for their infectious musical hybrid involving thumping guitars and loads of Latin rhythms. From the personal perspective, the show doesn’t delve too deeply into Gloria’s relationship with Estefan. No traumas here since they begin in

powerful sense of what might have been in a singing ﬂashback to her glory days. However, young Gloria’s grandma Consuelo (a warm and amusing Alma Cuervo) keeps pushing for her granddaughter to be a star and eventually, well, you know what happens. The one big wrinkle in this otherwise happy journey is when Gloria is seriously injured in a highway accident. But after emergency, and very risky, spinal surgery Gloria is reunited with her mother and all is well. This engaging production directed by Jerry Mitchell features spectacular choreography by Sergio Trujillo, which is performed with unstinting enthusiasm by the talented ensemble. And one young performer, Kevin Tellez (rotating with Jordan Vergara), is a nonstop dynamo, dancing up a storm in a couple different roles. As Gloria Estefan, Christie Prades

ON YOUR FEET THROUGH DECEMBER 23 AT PLAYHOUSE SQUARE, CONNOR PALACE, 1615 EUCLID AVE. 216-241-6000, PLAYHOUSESQUARE.COM.

love and just continue to love each other. However, Gloria E. does have a falling out with her mother Gloria Fajardo, who suffers from some envy since her budding singing career (she was once considered to be the Hispanic voice for Shirley Temple) years before never came to fruition. As Gloria, Nancy Ticotin delivers a

| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

does everything necessary to convey the essence of this woman, who is basically a shy person with a gift she couldn’t hide. She is matched by Mauricio Martinez as Emilio, who exhibits a nice understated manner with his more amusing lines. When their music is accepted with verve in Sweden, Emilio is stunned by all

those white people dancing: “It looked like Q-tips bouncing all over!” More than 25 songs from the Estefan song catalog are trotted out, and the beat never slows since David Rockwell’s scenic design moves tall panels of shuttered windows and other elements around with as much grace as the dancers. With the dialog butted up against compelling orchestrations, there’s a propulsion to the show that keeps it moving even when the story line is not particularly gripping. At times, the script gives a little too much self-conscious homage to Emilio’s business chops. When he holds out for a multi-million dollar contract for Gloria, a pal tells Emilio, “How do you sit down with balls that size?” And the multitude of encouraging letters that fans sent to Gloria during her long recuperation from the accident, some of which are read out loud, border on the treacly. But most of the time, the script doesn’t intrude and get in the way of the music. Perhaps the most telling moment in the show is when Emilio references his Latino community and says, “This is what America looks like.” Indeed it does, and that’s one message that still needs to be delivered to one particular house in Washington, D.C.

scene@clevescene.com t@christinehowey

MOVIES HIS FINEST MOMENT Gary Oldman’s remarkable performance distinguishes the war drama Darkest Hour By Jeff Niesel ACTOR GARY OLDMAN’S LENGTHY career demonstrates the British actor’s incredible range. He’s played good guys (Commissioner Gordon in The Dark Knight Trilogy) and bad guys (a corrupt DEA agent in The Professional). He’s been a member of the Royal Shakespeare Company, and he gave a memorable performance in 1990’s arthouse hit Rosencrantz & Guildenstern are Dead, the film based on Tom Stoppard’s terrific play. He even wrote and directed the grim 1997 drama Nil by Mouth. It all seems to have led Oldman to Darkest Hour, his finest performance to date. He portrays Winston Churchill, and his remarkable performance as the British leader will likely get him a well-deserved Oscar nod. It should win him an Oscar too. The movie opens areawide on Friday. The film centers on the monthlong period from May to June 1940 when Churchill becomes prime minister of Great Britain and faces the daunting task of keeping the

surging Nazis at bay. The movie commences as a Neville Chamberlain resigns as prime minister and hands the reins over to Churchill, who faces an immediate problem. He needs to ﬁnd a way to rescue the 338,000 British, French and Belgian soldiers trapped at Dunkirk. The war weary Churchill still remembers the massacre of British soldiers that took place at Gallipoli during World War I and doesn’t want to repeat past mistakes, so he devises a plan that will hopefully help prevent a

devastating loss. It should be noted that Darkest Hour serves as a companion piece of sorts to Christopher Nolan’s recent Dunkirk, another film that focuses on the same time period and shows how Allied soldiers managed to evacuate a French port town thanks to the assistance of the local townspeople. In one striking scene in Darkest Hour, Churchill mingles with the masses and takes the Tube to work one day. He nonchalantly introduces himself to the passengers and asks their advice about whether Britain should surrender to the Nazis. Encouraged by the people’s resilience, he goes back to his office determined to find a way to hold off the imminent invasion. The film’s climax comes when Churchill delivers a June 4 speech to the House of Commons. “We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender,”

he promises in a heated moment that sends chills and shows just how fully Oldman inhabits the character. The movie isn’t all storm and stress, either. At one point, Churchill laughs when a coworker tells him that he initially gave the sign for “up your bum” and not “victory” And Churchill, who regularly barks at his fellow politicians and comes across as rather course and crude, shows compassion for his typist (Lily James) when he learns her brother died at Dunkirk. Ultimately, the movie reminds us of what it was like to have articulate and inspiring leaders. Screenwriter Anthony McCarten even quotes Churchill’s actual words when he declares, “If this long island story of ours is to end at last, let it end only when each one of us lies choking in his own blood upon the ground.”

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel

SPOTLIGHT: DOWNSIZING IN A WAY, DOWNSIZING, THE new film from director Alexander Payne (Sideways, The Descendants) could be considered ahead of its time. Several years ago, well before the trend of living in tiny houses and embracing a minimalist lifestyle took off, Payne and screenwriter Jim Taylor started working on a movie about a group of Norwegian scientists that discovers how to shrink humans to the point that they’re five inches tall. A Modest Proposal-like satire, their film would poke fun of the excessive nature of modern-day society. It took a few years, but they finally finished the script and then set out to make Downsizing. But as much as the resulting film’s concept works and the satire hits home, the movie, which clocks in at a hefty 135 minutes, struggles to tell a cohesive story and limps to its conclusion. It opens area-wide on Friday. The film’s central characters, Paul (Matt Damon) and Audrey (Kristen

Wiig), live in a modest home in Omaha. But they’d like to upgrade. Their ﬁnancial adviser, however, warns them they simply can’t afford to. So when high school friends Dave (Jason Sudeikis) and Carol (Maribeth Monroe) show up at their high school reunion as little people (they’ve gone “small”), they begin to think that might be an option. After all, they can afford a much bigger house if the

materials don’t cost that much. After some discussion, they agree to undergo the treatment that will shrink them to the size of small dolls. Problem is, Audrey backs out at the last minute. Paul doesn’t realize she hasn’t undergone treatment until it’s too late. He’s become small and has to live in their huge house by himself. He eventually moves out of the house and winds up in an apartment building.

His upstairs neighbor, the flamboyant party boy Dusan (Christoph Waltz) regularly throws extravagant parties and takes to Paul. While helping Dusan clean up after a particularly wild night, Paul meets Ngoc Lan Tran (Hong Chau), a Vietnamese activist who was shrunk against her will by the government. He befriends her and soon learns that small society is just as stratified as any other society — Ngoc and her fellow housecleaners live in a shoddy part of town. The film eventually turns into a road movie as Paul, Dusan and Ngoc venture to the first-ever community of smalls on a secret voyage. Along the way, Paul has an epiphany about his life and the importance of leaving a small footprint upon the globe. Thankfully, Waltz lightens the mood of the movie which features too much drama and not enough humor. —Jeff Niesel

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel | clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

HOURS of operation: MON - SAT 12pm - 2am

13603 Madison Ave. Lakewood, Ohio. 440.799.8343

BEST NEIGHBORHOOD BAR

Friday, December 22

AMPLITUDE DUO Saturday, December 23rd

PLAID SANDWICH Sunday, December 24th

Browns at Bears 1:00pm Monday, December 25th

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Doors Open at 2:30pm for

CAVALIERS at WARRIORS at 3:00pm Wednesday, December 27

Merry Arts Holiday Party 6:00-9:00pm Complimentary Food, Drink Specials & More! Friday, December 29

!-22-, -5* z MJ OHIO STATE VS USC Drink Specials During Game Sunday, December 31

NEW YEARS EVE BASH

Join Us For Our Annual New Years Eve Celebration! Monday, January 1

happy NEW YEAR!

Open for Brunch & Bowl Games at 10:00am 28

| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

Photo by Emanuel Wallace

EAT WEIRD AND GOOD LBM is carving out a niche in Birdtown with dynamite cocktails and a sharp menu By Douglas Trattner

WE WERE TUCKED INTO A DIM corner of the bar sipping on a cocktail blended with bitter artichoke liqueur, gin and Icelandic-style yogurt while listening to heavy metal music and snacking on raw beef garnished with a black-as-death chicken egg. At a nearby table we spotted concert jerseys bearing the names Motörhead, Testament and Pantera, and just beyond the wearers’ cap-swaddled noggins was a pair of crossed Carolingian swords that appeared to harken back to the 8th Century. It doesn’t take new visitors long to grasp that LBM is not your typical neighborhood bar. It isn’t uncommon, say staffers, for weary travelers to crack open the door, have a look around the room, and swiftly return from whence they came. But stick around long enough to see past the art and artifice and you’ll discover that, at its heart, LBM is an unpretentious cocktail bar with spitfire beverages and shockingly good grub. Like that bracing, slightly vegetal cocktail with the ominous-sounding name The Fate of All ($9), LBM is best described as “weird but good.” This Birdtown bar with the cryptic moniker definitely is not for everyone, but it earns a deep well of respect for having a personality, a point of view, and the balls to carve out an eccentric niche.

If it’s an Irish pub with a predictable look, feel and ﬂavor you seek, there is no dearth of nearby options. The kitschy, high-spirited setting might seem at odds with a serious cocktail program, but that’s precisely the point. This dimly lit lair offers an intimidation-free environment in which to dip one’s toe in the elixir chasm, much the way Porco Lounge disguises its meticulousness beneath colorful Hawaiian shirts. Behind allegorical names like Until the Light Takes Us, I Am the Sacriﬁce, and Snatcher of the Moon lie magicaltasting potions with complexity and balance. Priced between $8 and $10 a pop – even less during the bar’s benevolent daily happy hour – the drinks undercut like-minded lounges by a wide margin. For the better part of a year, the owners – a chummy coalition of bar and restaurant vets – worked 12hour shifts to transform a blank double storefront in Lakewood into a compact 50-seat barroom and dining room. Beverages are served not in hollowed-out goat horns but attractive drink-appropriate glassware. With the exception of the meat and cheese board, food is presented not on rustic wood slabs but on sleek tableware. Bottles of water grace each tabletop and silverware is occasionally

swapped out for new. In all of these ways, LBM differs considerably from its rathskeller kin. That board ($18) is a great way to knock out a meal in a single blow. Deeply flavored cheeses like a twoyear-old Beemster or semi-soft blue from Oregon join meats like cotto salami, beef cheek rillettes and a funky truffled lamb terrine. There’s plenty of great grilled bread, jam, pickles and remoulade for customizing each bite. Fear not the oddly hued egg; it’s merely a Worcestershirestained soft-cooked egg that oozes into the coarsely ground tenderloin tartar ($12) when bisected. In addition to grilled bread, there’s spreadable roasted garlic, onion aioli and chopped fresh herbs. Other starters include deftly shucked oysters ($2 per) with mignonette and Cajun-dusted pork cracklings ($5) that failed to hold up their end of the bargain in “crispy” department. The phrase “packing peanuts” may or may not have come up in our table talk. No such complaints with the fried chicken ($10), crispy fingers drizzled with chipotle honey, perched atop great braised greens and sided by jalapeno “spoonbread” that is more like cornbread, to quibble. LBM’s burger ($13) is a beast. A

supremely beefy blend of brisket, sirloin and short rib is topped with herbed goat cheese, roasted tomato and grilled onions. The bakery-fresh bun holds it all together. Garlicky fries come with house ketchup and spiced aioli. If you like the homely arrangements found in chicken pot pie, you’ll likely dig the poutine ($10), a mountain of fries buried beneath a creamy porridge ﬂush with shredded chicken, peas and carrots. Absent, at least to my eyes, were bona ﬁde cheese curds. Tender gnocchi ($10) arrive in a nicely spiced curry sauce, there’s just a tad too much of it. Already LBM has established itself as a neighborhood favorite during happy hour. From 4 to 7 p.m. those burgers and fries are just $7, cracklings $3 and classic cocktails like an eye-opening Sazerac, sturdy Old Fashioned and summery Tom Collins are just $6 each. At prices like those, it’s a good thing the bar is within walking distance to the Madison Avenue RTA station. Oh, and as for the mysterious name: For the record, LBM stands for… [end document]

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner | clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

EAT bites BIGMOUTH DONUT CO. PLANTS FLAG AT HUB 55 By Douglas Trattner

Daily Drink Specials Now Accepting All Credit Cards Hiring For All Bar & Grill Positions!

Sit down with your guests. Advertise with SCENE. Call 216-241-7550 for more information.

KITCHEN NOW OPEN

$1.00 DOMESTIC BEERS Mon-Sun 4-7pm

| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

EVEN AS PARTNERS COURTNEY Bonning and Kelly Brewer were gearing up to open their Bigmouth Donut Co. shop in the Hingetown area of Ohio City (1418 W. 29th St.), they knew it wasn’t going to be the perfect fit. Not only would the wee 650-square-foot space require a new kitchen, it would never support the kind of business and expansion the partners envisioned. Still, they soldiered on. “Our equipment supplier said the buildout would be like fitting a marshmallow into a piggybank,” Bonning jokes. The plan was to make do with the Ohio City location by squeezing both a kitchen and retail storefront into the same small footprint. When the opportunity to move into a larger production facility arose, they would jump on it. Fortunately for them, that opportunity happened to present itself before the heavy construction began, Bonning explains. “We could have built a production kitchen [in Ohio City], but in the end we would have been stumbling all over ourselves and would have regretted that we couldn’t do everything we wanted from a production standpoint,” she says. “Part of our business plan was always to scale up and have multiple locations around the greater Cleveland area, so it was always part of the plan to put in a larger kitchen somewhere. We just ended up scaling up way sooner than we had anticipated.” That space will be at Hub 55, the mixed-use facility at St. Clair and E. 55th that includes Goldhorn Brewery, Café 55, and Sterle’s Slovenian House. Bigmouth will move into the space formerly occupied by Café 55, which quietly closed its doors three weeks ago. Bonning and Brewer are leasing the space from Hub 55 owner Rick Semersky. In addition to serving as a large centralized production kitchen, the space will function as a retail donut shop while providing hot savory food for Goldhorn customers. The goal is to have all three

components – the production kitchen and both retail outlets – up and running within four months. “Having more production space is a great benefit, but one of the goals always was to create a destination donut shop – a place that people would put on their ‘must-see’ list when experiencing Ohio City with family and friends,” Brewer says. “Having more space in Hingetown for our storefront allows us to do that.” Customers at either location can look forward to a dozen different flavors per day, a roster that will shift with the seasons. Cake and yeast varieties like pistachio or almond and honeycomb might be considered subtle compared to many of the wilder creations that are in vogue right now, notes Bonning. “We’re not trying to be superhipster,” she explains. “We want it to feel comfortable for everyone, so we’re just giving people very down-home products that they would associate with donuts. It’s not about a million sprinkles and all the crazy colors and sugar products. We just want you to appreciate them like any other pastry product you would get.” Bonning says that come spring, the partners will strongly consider operating the Hingetown spot as a 24-hour concern. “It makes sense because that area is activated almost all the time, from 5 in the morning with Harness Cycle and Title Boxing to 2:30 in the morning when Jukebox closes,” she says. “There’s always somebody around.” Already this year, Clevelanders have welcomed the arrival of City Girl Donuts out in Rocky River and Brewnuts in Detroit Shoreway. Does Bonning think there’s still room for more? “Look at all the bars that exist; look at all the taco joints just in Lakewood,” she scoffs. “Everybody eats every day.”

dtrattner@clevescene.com t@dougtrattner

Mon Fri: 3pm Mon M on -- Fri: F ri: 7am 77am am -- 3pm 3 pm Sat &S Sun: 4pm S Sat at & Sun: un: 7am 77am am -- 4pm 4 pm | cl clev clevescene.com eves e ce es cene cen ne.c n e.c .com com m | December Deecceeemb D mber mbe mb er 20 20 - 226 26, 6, 20 22017 01177 017

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MUSIC

AK-216 Automatic Weapons deliver a full-length debut that’ll shoot your eye out By Eric Sandy THERE’S NOTHING LIKE A record to capture musicians’ senses of artistic growth. It remains a near-perfect medium for bands interested in sharing their talents with an audience. For new bands with something fresh and unclaimed to prove, it’s even more vital. We’re talking about Automatic Weapons here, which has made a splash in the local music scene without so much as a opening slot at the corner bar. The multi-instrumentalist duo -- Vinny DiFranco Michael Bashur -- hail from Ohio Sky, which scorched Northeast Ohio with an ethereal blend of heavy riffs and soaring soundscapes for about a decade. As that band’s activities fizzled, the two musicians took their downtime jamming into more defined direction. “We originally came up with the idea just to produce music between the two of us with no real thought of performing,” Bashur says. “We just wanted to layer sounds and just make the kind of music we wanted to listen to.” The first EP and much of the band’s latest release, Young Lovers/ Dystopian Future, stems from lengthy sound experiments at a home studio in Gates Mills. Surrounded by guitars, cameras and a warm, wooden ambiance, the guys ran sounds through an old Hammond Auto-Vari analog drum machine. What came out on the other end were polyrhythmic backbones that formed the genesis of this new material. Take “Antenna,” for instance, a neat single that features snappy percussion fills around DiFranco’s verses. That Auto-Vari sound is stitched throughout the album, lending a real sense of coherence to the piece. “We wrote the first four pieces heavily reliant on that [drum machine],” DiFranco says, “and then

we made sure it kinda danced in and out of the record as we got toward the end. We were just really, really happy with it. It was a very peculiar sound. That’s where it started.” And the organic nature of those early jams is evident across the LP. There are elements of Ohio Sky riddled throughout the Automatic Weapons sound, of course, but it’s easy to feel a freshness between each note, a relaxed enjoyment that accompanies the occasional headbanging flash of danger. That dichotomy goes ever deeper: The title of this new album is indeed a nod to its two sides. With the first half of the album, there’s a youthful feeling. There’s hope. “Interlude” into “The Foothills” is a particularly beautiful sequence. It’s worthwhile to zoom in on this, briefly, because “Interlude” sees the guys spawning an earthy, bucolic melody right on the spot in Ben Schigel’s Spider Studios in Olmsted Falls. (Much of the rest of the album was pre-produced at the Gates Mills spot.) “With ‘Interlude’ and a couple other tunes, we actually just went to the studio thinking, ‘We’re just gonna hang out here for the day,’ which is the most fun,” Bashur says. “The Foothills,” then, builds on

As the record bleeds into Side B, though, a serious sense of foreboding takes root. The word “dystopian” is difficult to shake as listeners fall down the well. “Cloudburst Burnt Forest” is an eerie example: A Radioheadish beat gives way to feelings of despair, dissolution. The back half of this tune brings the minor key into a full-on arena-rock guitar solo. From there, the album descends into its denouement, a panic attack titled, simply, “Outro.” On that final tune, DiFranco whispers “Breathe” into the mic over and over. The word swirls around the song’s heartbeat, and then explodes into a cataclysmic curtain call. “That song is rigged with anxiety. It came in a flash one night,” DiFranco says. “It was this weird culmination of all this shit that had happened up until that point, all getting squeezed into one little bubble of anxiety. I don’t listen to that song when I listen to the record too often, to tell you the truth. It’s a lot.” All of that -- the moods, the sounds -- come packaged in large part by the handiwork of producer Ben Schigel, the former singer of Switched who’s worked with DiFranco and Bashur before and who’s left his fingerprints

AUTOMATIC WEAPONS WITH MARCUS ALAN WARD AND TIMES10 8:30 P.M., FRIDAY, DEC. 22, BEACHLAND TAVERN, 15711 WATERLOO RD., 216-383-1124. TICKETS: $10 ADV / $13 DOS, BEACHLANDBALLROOM.COM.

that textural plane and reasserts DiFranco’s vocals atop a gently nodding beat. It’s in tunes like that (and elsewhere) that we can all conﬁrm how much DiFranco has grown as a singer. This is a frequently a contemplative album, and he underscores that mood with both lyrics and vocal inﬂection.

on an untold number of Cleveland rock bands over the years. The guys in Automatic Weapons heaped praise on his touch, which is evident, DiFranco says, in every syllable sung into the mic. “When we got to this project, we wanted to sit back and let go -really let him offer up as much as he

could,” DiFranco says. “He became an unbelievably instrumental part of the recording process.” And through that process, DiFranco and Bashur worked in tandem and in ways that seemed effortless to the both of them. They built off each other’s foundations, and rarely found themselves landing in a place that one or the other wasn’t feeling. Whatever lessons they learned as members of Ohio -- collaboration, compromise -- crystallized with ease as Automatic Weapons. “This was just about Mike and myself,” DiFranco says. “One of the important things to us was: Let’s treat the songwriting process and the recording process as our wildest dreams. What is it that we wouldn’t have done in the past because of limitations? … [We decided to] take things over the edge and do too much -- and then pull back.” Schigel got them across the ﬁnish line with his years of experience -both at the tracking board and within the Cleveland music scene in general. As for the live arrangements that will be on display this Friday at Beachland Tavern, the guys initially paid no heed to how these songs would translate to the stage. That all changed, of course, and they’re now prepping their ﬁrst show as Automatic Weapons. A lot of the material from the album can be performed onstage, they said, with certain tracks being cued up digitally and with a drummer (Matt Danko) joining them. But because they left things on such an experimental plane in the studio, they’re able to reinterpret their own songs in small and interesting ways. Consider it a Cleveland Christmas present to all who’ve been listening this year.

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene | clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

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| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

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| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

MUSIC

Photo courtesy of Adrenaline PR

A PROGGY NOTION Wizards of Winter pick up where Trans-Siberian Orchestra began By Jeff Niesel BACK IN 1999, WIZARDS OF Winter musical director and keyboardist Scott Kelly and his wife were at the ﬁrst Trans-Siberian performance at the Beacon Theatre in New York. Kelly instantly embraced the concept of presenting Christmas music with a prog rock theme. “I loved the music of TSO, and we became fans,” he says in a recent phone interview from a tour stop. Wizards of Winter perform at 8 p.m. on Saturday, Dec. 23, at the Canton Palace Theatre. Ten years later, it was the height of the recession and the local food pantry in Kelly’s town was really hurting. There were lines around the block, and the shelves were pretty empty. “We said, ‘Let’s put together a band and play some music and see if we can raise some money for them,’” says Kelly. “We put together a band with some friends and ran an ad on Craigslist to get some instruments we didn’t have. We had no intention of playing more than one show just as a beneﬁt. One became two became ten. People liked the music and wanted to buy our album. There was no album. We tried it again the next year and started writing original music and it took off from there.”

While Kelly says he didn’t know the late Paul O’Neill, the mastermind behind TSO, he has a strong connection with the band. After a lineup change in 2013, several TSO members joined the Wizards of Winter. “They had heard about our music, and I had a conversation with [singer] Tommy Farese who was with TSO for like 12 years at that point,” says Kelly. “He was the face of TSO at the time but had been forced out. He liked our music and wanted to join us. He and a few other guys joined us.” Kelly maintains that the Wizards share more with early TSO than

went away from being about the music to the lights and production. You won’t ﬁnd dancing girls or ﬂames or dragons at our shows. Our focus is on Christmas.” The Wizards’ concerts center on a snow globe, and the group takes audiences on a virtual sleigh ride with a mythical vehicle Kelly calls the Arctic Flyer. “You go in search of the true meaning of Christmas,” he says. “It’s melancholy and joyful. Because the Arctic Flyer can travel anywhere in space and time, it allows me to change the story. We don’t carry the big string section. If you were behind the scenes, you know they’re

WIZARDS OF WINTER 8 P.M. SATURDAY, DEC. 23, CANTON PALACE THEATRE, 330-454-8172. TICKETS: $34-$69 CANTONPALACETHEATRE.ORG.

with the present-day version of the band that now brings its big-budget productions to arenas across the country each winter. “We’re pretty different,” he says. “They put out those original Christmas albums. I think Christmas Eve and Other Stories is a masterpiece. Since that time, Bob Kinkel left the band, and the focus

| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

not in the mix anyway. We don’t use prerecorded tracks. That ﬁrst year we cobbled together $300 and bought 12 lights on Craigslist and cobbled that together. I ran the light show with my feet. It’s grown since then, but it won’t ever be like TSO.” The band’s new single, “A Christmas Dream,” opens with a dramatic piano riff which gives away

to noodle-y guitars and pounding drums. Kelly says it’s an old song that he only recently got around to recording. “I didn’t play out for many, many years,” he explains. “I had this version of ‘Carol of the Bells’ mixed in with ‘My Favorite Things’ that I always played on the piano. My kids grew up with that. I wanted to flesh in out to turn it into a song for the Wizards. I finished the rest of the orchestration this year. People are loving it.” A mid-song flute solo gives the music a Jethro Tull feel and suggests the influence of ‘70s prog rock. “People like the different flavor we have,” says Kelly. “My influences were Kansas, Styx, and Emerson, Lake and Palmer, and you’ll find their influences in a lot of our stuff. I would hope that if we got bigger, we could add more performances, but we don’t want to be in bigger venues. When you move into an arena, everything changes and the connection is not there. Now, we’re selling out 2,500 seat theaters, and that’s great. We’re loving it.”

scene@clevescene.com t@clevelandscene

| ccl clevescene.com lev eves esceene ne.ccom om | December Dece De cemb emb mber mber e 20 20 - 26 226, 66,, 20 2017 017

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LIVEWIRE

all the live music you should see this week Photo by Samantha Fryberger

WED

12/20

10 X 3 Singer Songwriter Showcase hosted by Brent Kirby: 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Cleveland Christmas with Kathleen Rooney & Friends: 7 p.m., $20. Nighttown. James Emmett Band/ Melladramatics/Honeymoon: 8 p.m., $5. Grog Shop. JP & the Chatﬁeld Boys/Two Horse Town: 9 p.m., $5. Beachland Tavern. Ledges Homecoming Show with My Mouth is the Speaker/Seafair: 7 p.m., $8. Musica. M2B2 Big Band: 8 p.m., free. Brothers Lounge. Xscape/Monica/Tamar Braxton/ Zonnique/June’s Diary: 8 p.m. Wolstein Center.

THU

12/21

5J Barrow: 8 p.m., $15. Nighttown. Annual Old Home Night with Home and Garden/Kidney Brothers/ California Speedbag/Lulu’s Buttonbox/Revue: 8 p.m., $8 ADV, $10 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Anne E. DeChant (in the Supper Club): 7:30 p.m., $15 ADV, $18 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. The Empty Pockets: 8 p.m., $6-$13. The Kent Stage. Chris Hatton’s Musical Circus (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Hello Luna/John’s Little Sister/The Movies: 9 p.m., $8. Grog Shop. Jam Night with the Bad Boys of Blues: 9 p.m., free. Brothers Lounge. Winter Solstice Northeast Ohio Drum and Music Jam: 9 p.m., free. Beachland Ballroom.

FRI

12/22

4th Friday Concert Series w/Tracy Marie (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Automatic Weapons Album Release Show/Marcus Alan Ward/Times10: 8:30 p.m., $10 ADV, $13 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Disco Inferno: 9 p.m., $5. Brothers Lounge. FireSide (in the Supper Club): 7:30 p.m., $10. Music Box Supper Club. Jared Goldweber & The Park Bros/ Sam Hooper: 8:30 p.m., $5. The Euclid Tavern. Headspace - Minimal House Techno (in the Underdog): 9 p.m., $3. The Euclid Tavern.

Machine Gun Kelly plays his ﬁrst arena headlining show. See: Friday.

The Irreplaceables Tour: 7 p.m., $35 ADV, $45 DOS. The Agora Theatre. Machine Gun Kelly XXMAS Show: At this year’s Lollapalooza, local rapper Machine Gun Kelly put on a rousing performance in front of an enthusiastic audience of teens and twentysomethings, delivering one of the most aggressive sets of the entire festival. Wearing a silver jacket, skinny black jeans and loafers, MGK clearly enjoyed his first-ever performance at Lolla. “Middle fingers up,” he shouted at the start of a rowdy set that included a tribute to Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington, a friend of his who committed suicide earlier this year. MGK paid tribute to Bennington with a rendition of the Linkin Park tune “Number,” adding that the gray skies provided the right atmosphere for him to sing the track. It was a memorable performance. Tonight’s special holiday show at the Wolstein represents the rapper’s first “headline arena show” in his career. (Jeff Niesel), 7 p.m. Wolstein Center. Amanda Powell: 8 p.m., $15. Bop Stop. Vanessa Rubin: 8:30 p.m., $30. Nighttown. Shitbox Jimmy/The Cross Brothers/ The Missed/Wrong Places: 9 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Snowflake Soiree Featuring Blue Moon Soup/Splitroot/Nate LaPrairie: 8:30 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Beachland Ballroom. Moss Stanley: 10:30 p.m., free. Nighttown. Strangelove: 9 p.m., $13 ADV, $16 DOS. House of Blues. A Thousand Paper Cranes/The Drawing Blanks: 8 p.m., $8. Mahall’s 20 Lanes. Ugly Christmas Sweater Silent Disco: 9 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Grog Shop.

| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

SAT

12/23

Greg Bandy & Friends: 8:30 p.m., $20. Nighttown. Boys From the County Hell: When the Boys from the County Hell ﬁrst got together in 2000 as a Pogues cover band, it was supposed to be just a one-night stand. But after selling out their ﬁrst show at the Euclid Tavern, the group’s popularity escalated. As you can imagine, the band is pretty busy by the time St. Patty’s Day rolls around. But it regularly plays a special holiday show this time of year too. The band’s been working on blending some horns into the mix so expect to hear a bit of R&B as it plays a selection of Pogues tunes as well as some seasonal covers tonight. (Niesel), 8 p.m., $14 ADV, $17 DOS. House of Blues. Come On People Dance Party: 11 p.m., free. Bop Stop. Fifty Amp Fuse: 9:30 p.m., $10. Brothers Lounge. Ray Flanagan (in the Wine Bar): 8 p.m. Brothers Lounge. Home for the Holidays Showcase: A Punk Rock Reunion: An annual reunion show featuring local acts, Home for the, Holidays Showcase: A Punk Rock Reunion will take place at the Phantasy Nite Club tonight. The Unknown, a local punk band that Ken Blaze founded in 1989 will headline. The event will also feature the newly formed punk rock band Violet Ray, which features singer-guitarist William Somerville and former Flanked By Red Flags bassist Rich Kaufman. Violet’s Ray’s upcoming debut record will be performed in its entirety and downloadable tracks will be available to those in attendance. Also on the bill will

be 1990s punk bands Cypher, the Atomix and Skitter. There will be a raffle benefit for the Cleveland Food Bank. (Niesel), 8 p.m., $5. The Phantasy Nite Club. Mary Bridget Davies and Ryan Sudick: The Naughty & Nice Show: It’s unclear which musician is the naughty one and who is the nice one; perhaps Clevelanders Mary Bridget Davies and Ryan Sudick are each a bit of both. For tonight’s show, on the eve of Christmas Eve, the pair looks to spice up the holiday season with a bit of bluesy flair. Davies’ earthy vocals are as a big and bold as it gets, as seen with her Tony nomination for A Night With Janis Joplin. And Sudick is here to provide the warmest of piano chords. For sure, the show won’t be like any of those other stale, traditional holiday concerts around town. (Laura Morrison), 7 p.m., $25 ADV, $28 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. The Modern Electric/Trios: “Just like in the movies,” they say, and they’re spot-on. The Modern Electric has consistently kept crowds in Cleveland (and elsewhere) dazzled with their brand of “cinematic pop.” It’s all of a piece with these guys, and one often feels like a wonderstruck Ed Norton in a long-forgotten Wes Anderson flick when listening to their stuff. We check in with the band every now and then, and they lately released their album, Original Motion Picture Soundtrack, as a set of instrumental tunes. It’s an even more honed sense of cinematic enjoyment. (Eric Sandy), 8:30 p.m., $10 ADV, $13 DOS. Grog Shop. Punk Rock Festivus 5 Featuring Obnox/Kill the Hippies/Iron Oxide/Wetbrain: 8:30 p.m., $7 ADV, $10 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Sammy Slims/DJs Himiko Go-Go / Throbbing Griswold: 9 p.m., $5. Happy Dog. Sinatra Night with Michael Sonata (in the Supper Club): Canton native Michael Sonata has always been involved in plays and choirs and was a member of the University of Notre Dame Glee Club. In 2004, he auditioned for a role in a Sopranos spoof that required a character based on Frank Sinatra. Sonata got the part and has been imitating Ol’ Blue Eyes ever since. He includes some 90 songs in his repertoire and covers all eras, including the Columbia years and

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| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

LIVEWIRE “ Rainy days seem to wind up sunny”

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the Capitol years. Expect to hear some holiday tunes at tonight’s show too. (Niesel), 7 p.m., $10. Music Box Supper Club. Curtis Taylor Quartet: Bop Stop. Jackie Warren: 10:30 p.m., free. Nighttown. Waterloo Whiteout Featuring Broccoli Samurai/Wanyama: 9 p.m., $10 ADV, $15 DOS. Beachland Ballroom.

SUN

12/24

Red, Black and Green Xmas with DJs A-Live and DJ Hama: 9 p.m., free. Now That’s Class.

MON

10th Annual Blue Lunch Holiday Latke Party: Veteran local blues/ swing band Blue Lunch has the antidote for anyone who needs to take a break from the family on Christmas day. The group will celebrate the holidays with its 10th Annual Christmas Night Holiday Latke Party at the Beachland Ballroom. Latkes and other food and beverage will be available for purchase. Musical guests include harpist Tom Moore, singer-guitarist Billy Seward and young singer Devonte Wilson. Pete the DJ will spin blues and soul on vinyl before and after the show. (Niesel), 7:30 p.m., $12 ADV, $15 DOS. Beachland Tavern. Shit Show Karaoke: 10 p.m. B-Side Liquor Lounge & Arcade. X-Mess at the Grog with Sleepyheads/Who Hit Me: 8:30 p.m., $5. Grog Shop.

Located at Flats East Bank 1150 Front Ave. • Cleveland, OH 44113

TUE

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| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

12/25

12/26

Carlos Jones & The P.L.U.S Band Holiday Revival: 8 p.m., $10 ADV, $12 DOS. Music Box Supper Club. personsplacesthings/Booty and the Kidd/the Rinsers: 8:30 p.m., $10. Beachland Tavern. Red Light Roxy: 7 p.m., $15. Nighttown. Reggae Night on Coventry: 10 p.m., $10 ADV, $20 DOS. Grog Shop. Michelle Whitﬁeld (in the Wine Bar): 7 p.m. Brothers Lounge.

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BAND OF THE WEEK

DAN MIRALDI By Jeff Niesel MEET THE BAND: Dan Miraldi (guitar, vocals) MANY MUSICAL INTERESTS: Singerguitarist Dan Miraldi has a wide range of musical interests that range from Paul McCartney and the White Stripes to Fall Out Boy and Bob Dylan. A Northeast Ohio native, he originally started out listening to Elvis Presley and the Beatles, but eventually gravitated toward modern rock when he was in high school. He began playing pop-punk with Exit Suburbia. after that he formed the Cherry Flavored Elevator. A few years later, Miraldi started yet another project, but this time he simply deemed it a solo project, issuing his solo debut, Thirsty, in 2009. He’s released solo albums ever since. A NEW YORK STATE OF MIND: A couple of years ago, Miraldi moved to New York to get his Master’s degree in music business at New York University. After graduating, he hit the road with local rockers Welshly Arms and worked as their tour manager. He also started recording another record about living in New York, but after the presidential election, it seemed “inappropriate.” “The record is still half ﬁnished,” says Miraldi. After scrapping those plans, he channeled his outrage at the election results into his new EP, Love Under Fire. WHY YOU SHOULD HEAR HIM: “The Sweet Sound of Protest,” the

rousing opening number on Love Under Fire, features distorted guitars and parched vocals as Miraldi beckons, “Give it to me now.” He wrote the song just after the election; he was on tour with Welshly Arms at the time. “Everyone felt so defeated,” he says. “I have a diverse group of friends who are of different religions and different sexual orientations, and they had a sense of fear. Music can be such a powerful sense of encouragement and a means of strength. I wanted to write a song about not being afraid.” He recorded the track locally at Welshly Arms’ studio in Avon Lake, and they back him on the song. Other highlights include the EP’s title track, which has a Beatles feel to it, and the Stones-y “Name of Love.” “One of the big inspirations for the EP was 1960s protest music, but I didn’t want to make songs that just sound like that,” says Miraldi. “I also drew from a lot of different inﬂuences.”

WHERE YOU CAN HEAR HIM: danmiraldi.com. WHERE YOU CAN SEE HIM: Dan Miraldi & the Albino Winos perform with Good Morning Valentine, Uptight Suga and Mike Uva at 8 p.m. on Wednesday, Dec. 27, at the Beachland Tavern.

jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel | clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

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| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

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| clevescene.com | December 20 - 26, 2017

Dear Dan, I am a 22-year-old Italian man, 100 percent straight, sensitive and sporty. I have been reading Savage Love for years in Internazionale. I have one question for you: Why do I always fall in love with lesbians? Why do I instantly fall in love with girls who have that something more in their eyes? Something melancholy and perhaps insecure? Girls whom I’d rather protect and embrace than take to bed? The last three girls who fit this description all turned out to be lesbians. The last girl with whom this happened told me it was my “Red Cross” mind-set that made me fall in love with girls who are insecure/ sad/melancholy, so I have a sort of selection bias that excludes most straight girls I meet. I do not believe this, because the world is full of straight girls who need saving. So why then, Dan? WHY? I have a girlfriend. I truly love her. Since September, we have been living in two different cities because she went away to study. I am afraid that one day she is going to tell me she’s gay too. She always talks with me about a new super-cute female friend. Is she a lesbian? I have recently met another girl, super empathetic. She is gay, and I knew it after an all-night conversation in my car listening to Cigarettes After Sex. Why do I always fall in love with gay girls? Can I love two people at the same time? This is the fourth time that this has happened. Is my girlfriend gay? Why do I find lesbians so attractive? I’m freaking. —Increasingly Tormented About Lesbian Yearnings There’s a lot going on in your letter, ITALY, so I’m going to take your questions one at a time… 1. Maybe you always fall in love with lesbians or maybe this was a series of coincidences—by pure chance you fell for more than one woman who turned out to be a lesbian—and, hey, since you’re probably going to love a few more women over the course of your life, ITALY, that “always” seems a bit premature. It’s also possible

you find women with a certain degree of masculine energy and/ or swagger attractive, and women with that swagger are somewhat likelier to be lesbians, slightly upping your chances of falling in love with four girls-who-turnedout-to-be-lesbians in a row. Personally, ITALY, I’m attracted to guys with a certain degree of feminine swagger and, needless to say, these guys are likelier to be gay. But while almost all effeminate guys are gay—so stigmatized is femininity in males (even in the gay community) — masculine swagger in women is less stigmatized and therefore somewhat less likely to correlate as strongly with lesbianism. Women with masculine swagger and men with feminine swagger are also likely to be self-conscious about their gender-nonconforming traits, particularly when they’re young and/or not yet out, and that can read as melancholy and/or insecurity. 2. Women—straight or bi or lesbian—don’t need “saving.” They need respect, they need to be taken seriously, they need bodily autonomy, and they need loving partners and political allies. 3. Your girlfriend may be a lesbian—anyone could in these highly fluid days, even me. But if your girlfriend isn’t straight, ITALY, she’s likelier to be bisexual, seeing as there are roughly three times as many bi women as there are lesbian women. And if she seems gayer now than when you met, that could be because you landed a straight girl who had been suppressing her masculine swagger—which many men don’t find attractive—and she’s consciously or subconsciously come to the realization that she doesn’t have to play the girly girl around you to hold your attention. Quite the opposite, in fact.

See the rest of Dan’s answer at clevescene.com.

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