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CURRENT | February 13-26, 2019 | sacurrent.com

in this issue San Antonio Current

Issue 19_04 /// February 13-26, 2019

Misery Loves Company

Publisher: Michael Wagner Editor-in-Chief: Sanford Nowlin

Lebanon’s Capernaum is a gut-wrenching drama set in the slums of Beirut

Editorial

Senior Editor: Bryan Rindfuss Food & Nightlife Editor: Lea Thompson Art Director: Carlos Aguilar Staff Writer: Chris Conde Digital Content Editor: Sarah Martinez Contributors: Alexis Alvarez , Ron Bechtol, Erik Casarez, Daniel Conrad, James Courtney, Callie Enlow, Jose Garza, Dan R. Goddard, Alejandra Lopez Gonzalez, Lance Higdon, Steven G. Kellman, Hannah Lorence, Michelle C. Lorentzen, Abby Mangel, Kiko Martínez, Jeremy Martin, Kelly Merka Nelson, M. Solis, Gary Sweeney, J.D. Swerzenski, Kelsey Valadez, Erin Winch Editorial Interns: Zach Alaniz, Clarence Beal, Louis Q. Iverson, Lori Salazar, Travis Snyder

Exploring New Skills

San Antonio actor Jackie Earle Haley on what it took to become a gigantic cyborg in Alita: Battle Angel

41 Food

All About the Execution Spoon Eatery aims for the middle, but its kitchen hits plenty of highs

Advertising

Account Manager: Mallory Jochen Senior Multimedia Account Executive: Sarah Estrada Account Executives: April Miller, Roger Macias Digital Sales Specialist: Mike Valdelamar

Market Improvement

Pilot program will work with corner stores to bring fresh produce to South Side

Marketing and Events

Marketing and Events Director: Cassandra Yardeni Events Manager: Chelsea Bourque Event Coordinator: Mallory Jochen Marketing and Events Interns: Hallie Colbert, Lesly Garcia, Victor Rodriguez

57 Music

Creative Services

Creative Services Manager: Tina Corbeil Graphic Designer: Samantha Serna Graphic Design Interns: Pedro Macias , Michelle Moreno, Noemi Solis, McKenzie Stewart

A Reckoning at the Goldun Stair

Circulation

El Campo’s new album is a beautiful, powerful rumination on the meaning of a life

Circulation Manager: Justin Giles

Business

Operations Manager: Sarah Estrada Business Support Specialist: Samantha Lopez

Euclid Media Group

Chief Executive Officer: Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers: Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP of Digital Services: Stacy Volhein Creative Director: Tom Carlson Digital Operations Coordinator: Jaime Monzon Senior Marketing and Events Director: Cassandra Yardeni www.euclidmediagroup.com National Advertising: Voice Media Group 1-888-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com San Antonio Current 915 Dallas San Antonio, Texas 78215 sacurrent.com Editorial - (210) 227-0044 / Fax - (210) 227-7755 Display Advertising - (210) 227-0044 Fax - (210) 227-7733 Classified - (210) 227-CLAS / Fax - (210) 227-7733 The San Antonio Current is published by Euclid Media Group Verified Audit Member San Antonio Distribution – The Current is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Get listed 1. Visit sacurrent.com 2. Click “Calendar” and then “Submit an Event” 3. Follow the steps to submit your event details Please allow 48 hours for review and approval. Event submissions are not accepted by phone. Copyright - The entire contents of the San Antonio Current are copyright 2019 by Euclid Media Group LLC. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. Publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed above. Subscriptions - Additional copies or back issues may be purchased at the Current offices for $1. Six-month domestic subscriptions may be purchased for $75; one-year subscriptions for $125.

50 Feature

Erik Gustafson

Burger Up!

No matter what you crave, San Antonio’s got a hamburger to fit your appetite

Music Top Picks

70 Etc

Savage Love, Crossword Puzzle, Astrology, This Modern World

BY L E A T H O M P SO N

06 News

The Purge

Texas Republicans have a lengthy history of erroneous voter fraud claims

Political Ironwoman Shirley Gonzales Is All About Going the Distance

14 Calendar

Our top picks for the week

23 Arts

Pop Goes the Library

SA Public Library’s second Pop Con grows bigger and geekier

New Worlds Man

Groundbreaking science fiction author and editor Michael Moorcock makes a rare appearance at Pop Con

Texas Sicario Embraces Crime Fiction’s Past (and Predictability) Anticipating ‘Ghostly Demarcations’

Contemporary Art Month announces CAM Perennial artists selected by El Paso-based curator

35 Screens

Heavenly Creature

Alita: Battle Angel lacks a meaningful script, but it’s a glorious spectacle nonetheless

On The Cover: Alamo City restaurants haven’t just embraced the hamburger, they’ve found numerous ways to put a new twist on the American favorite. Photo: Erik Gustafson Art direction: Tracie Louck sacurrent.com | February 13-26, 2019 | CURRENT

news

Texas Secretary of State David Whitley convenes a meeting of the Texas Legislature.

Via Twitter @Txsecofstate

The Purge

Texas Republicans have a lengthy history of erroneous voter fraud claims BY GARRETT MCGINLEY

Find more newsnews coverage Find more every every dayday at at sacurrent.com sacurrent.com

ince Texas Secretary of State David Whitley issued an advisory on January 25 claiming more than 95,000 non-citizens may be registered to vote in Texas, that number appears to be dwindling by the day. Election officials in Collin, Fort Bend, Harris, Travis and Williamson Counties received calls from Whitley’s office informing them many of the flagged voters shouldn’t have been on the list, according to the Texas Tribune. In McLennan County, all 366 flagged voters were determined to be citizens. And the Fort Worth Star-Telegram estimates that, as of February 1, the list may have already shrunk by 20,000 names. For Myrna Pérez, deputy director of the democracy program at NYU Law School’s Brennan Center for Justice, the backpedaling is just the latest example in a long history of targeted voter suppression in the Lone Star State. “We totally saw this coming,” said Pérez, a San Antonio native. “We have seen before these ridiculous, over-the-top claims of non-citizens on the rolls, and when the smoke clears and the dust settles, they always have to walk it back.” Texas lawmakers cited voter fraud when they implemented the state’s controversial 2011 voter ID law, which required voters to present approved photo identification at polling places. However, when pressed to present proof of rampant wrongdoing, the

state has repeatedly failed to do so. “It’s always been alleged, but it’s never been proved,” said Albert Kauﬀman, a law professor at St. Mary’s University in San Antonio. “I know Texas took a great deal of support for the fact that, in Indiana, they passed a voter ID bill which was approved by the U.S. Supreme Court. But [the court] approved it based on the importance of the franchise, and they agreed in their opinion that there is no proof that people were illegally voting and that [a voter ID law] would somehow cure it.” In 2012, Texas claimed some 80,000 registered voters may have been deceased and subsequently mailed notices to individuals, giving them 30 days to prove they were alive so they wouldn’t be struck from the rolls. Similar to what is happening now, the number of “deceased” voters — disproportionately people of color — shrunk upon inspection. Both the 2012 and 2019 lists were gathered by using inaccurate large-scale database comparisons, critics charge. The “non-citizens” list, for example, was compiled by comparing a drivers license database with one for voter registrations. But Texas only requires license renewal every six years, and nearly 349,000 people have become naturalized Texans in that time frame, according to the U.S. Department of Homeland Security. That means many, possibly all, of the voters were erroneously ﬂagged. Secretary Whitley has acknowledged

in a follow-up advisory that the matches between the databases are “weak.” Even with that walk back, the damage may already be done, Pérez argues. “When one makes an allegation like that, even if it’s thoroughly debunked, there is going to be some reaction in the public,” she said, “of either one side believing it and using the information, or some people getting so disgruntled and disgusted at the vilification and demonization of certain members of our community that they’re not going to feel welcome participating.” Since the January announcement, Whitley’s numbers have been circulated by news outlets, regurgitated by President Trump on Twitter and used by the Texas Republican Party in a fundraising email to call for a voter-roll purge. According to the United States Election Project, Texas saw a significant increase in voter turnout in 2018, but still lagged the national average. St. Mary’s Kauffman worries the state’s apparent lack of caution in compiling the recent list could have an impact on potential voters. “The fact that the governor then says, ‘We have to stop this terrible situation, we need legislation,’ and then the president picks it up and says the same thing just shows you the danger of throwing out red meat for people who are looking for any information like this,” Kauffman said. Despite credible doubts about the list’s legitimacy, some counties have begun issuing notices similar to those sent to “deceased” voters in 2012. A lawsuit by the American Civil Liberties Union claims election officials in Blanco, Caldwell, Fayette, Galveston and Washington counties have already mailed notices giving voters 30 days to prove their eligibility or be removed from the rolls. The ACLU’s lawsuit is one of several the state is now facing over the list. According to the Dallas Morning News, there are 4,912 flagged alleged non-citizens registered to vote in Bexar County, and 2,911 of those individuals have a voting record. The Bexar County Elections Department declined comment. Whitley, who was appointed secretary of state by Gov. Greg Abbott in December, appeared before the Texas Senate nomination committee Thursday, February 7, for a confirmation hearing. Democrats appeared skeptical about the nominee’s commitment to protecting voter rights. Sen. Royce West, D-Dallas, asked Whitley to define “voter suppression,” to which the nominee replied that his definition was irrelevant. “You’re the secretary of state,” West said. “It is relevant to me if I’m going to vote for your confirmation.”

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CURRENT | February 13-26, 2019 | sacurrent.com

news

Jade Esteban Estrada

GLITTER POLITICAL

Political Ironwoman Shirley Gonzales Is All About Going the Distance BY JADE ESTEBAN ESTRADA

ouncilwoman Shirley Gonzales is sipping her cappuccino under a poster for the 2016 San Antonio Film Festival at Shotgun House Coffee Roasters, a little piece of Oslo in the heart of the West Side. Dressed in a pink sweater and a taffy-colored scarf, she’s a portrait of political accomplishment and reimagined potential. As she prepares her bid for a fourth and final term representing District 5 on council, Gonzales, now 46, is already looking for other opportunities to stay in the world of public service. “I think that I’d be an excellent mayor for the city, given the wealth of experience that I have,” Gonzales says with visible confidence, adding that she’s “the only businessperson on the council.” Her time on the dais has been a learning experience, and she admits she only recently accepted that she’s not going to be able to “fix everything that needs to be fixed” in government — something she learned from the late Bexar County Commissioner Paul Elizondo. Even so, Gonzales has demonstrated a talent for focusing her energies on achievements that are within her grasp. Despite her status as a seasoned member of council, her grand entrance onto the political stage began by accident — while she was on a soul-searching quest. In 2009, Gonzales had just experienced a divorce and the sudden, cancer-related death of her brother, also her partner in the pawn shop she still owns.

With her own mortality in mind, she pondered her greater purpose. “I thought, ‘If I died, nobody would miss me,’” she says. “‘I haven’t done anything meaningful in this life. I might as well spend my life doing something good.’” After a move back to the West Side, she decided to focus on making her business “the best pawn shop in the world.” But it didn’t take long for the city’s regulatory hurdles to hold her back from that ambition. She grew frustrated with too many inspection visits and permit requirements. Then, one fateful day, she requested an Infill Development Zone permit. It was denied, and she was incensed. “It’s a zoning requirement for any retail space. It’s for parking,” Gonzales says, shaking her head. “It’s really simple.” That denied permit became a match in the powder barrel for then-District 5 Councilman David Medina’s budding political career. Eager to cut through the red tape, Gonzales announced a run for Medina’s seat in the 2013 election. Not only did she gain the office but also a renewed sense of purpose. Gonzales attributes some of her political drive to her training for the Ironman Triathlon. From 2008 to 2011, she trained vigorously for the long-distance endurance event, which consists of a 2.4-mile swim, 112-mile bicycle ride and a 26-mile run. “The fast people do it in like nine hours,” she says. “You have a cut-off at 18 hours. I always finished in

like 12 to 13 hours.” She admits there were times during races when she’d find herself wondering, why she’d purposely put herself in that situation. But she takes pride in knowing that she completed every race she entered. “And I was never last,” she adds with a smile. Gonzales has spent time trying to come up with a word that could best describe this age of rediscovery for both herself and her district. “Reimagining,” she says. “Revitalizing. Transforming.” Ultimately, though, it took a Spanish word. She landed on reencuentro. “It’s more of like an identity,” she explains. “[The idea] that you’ve always been perfect the way you are.” Her Ironman training also helped prepare her for political life by teaching a critical lesson: don’t take anything personally. The lesson would help her in the aftermath of some heated exchanges, like the time she confronted Councilman Greg Brockhouse at a meeting over comments she found sexist. Political observers agree the moment, captured by news cameras, wasn’t just one of the most uncomfortable interactions of the term but in recent council history. Gonzales says her political mentor, the late Democratic Party organizer Choco Meza, often asked her, “Do you ever get angry?” “I would tell her, ‘Choco, this is me — angry,” Gonzales says in a soft and melodious tone. “‘How do you think I got here?’” À la Pygmalion, Meza advised Gonzales on her campaign wardrobe, taking her away from tight black outfits and encouraging her to wear the pink that’s become her signature color. “‘Latinas wear bright lipstick,’ she’d say. ‘Here’s a red one and here’s a pink one,’” Gonzales recalls. “‘I want you to wear it every day.’” I tell her I haven’t thought of Choco in a while. “I think of her every day,” she adds. I ask Gonzales how her physical training has influenced the way she thinks. “First of all, we know that we retain all those emotions and that they manifest themselves into physical problems,” she explains, with a slight lean toward me. “We know that anger, frustration and disappointment will manifest themselves in some physical way. I know very clearly from my experiences in physical training, that there’s no distinction between your physical world, your mind and your body. I’ve never been one to hold a grudge. I don’t have a lot of anger or dissatisfaction in my heart. I really do always feel that things will get better, that things will improve. I think some of those skills translate very well to political life also.” When she mentions her grueling training, her eyes light up like the election scoreboard at 30 Rock. I ask her why that is. “Well, because I really do think that everything that I do today is easier than training,” she says with a laugh. “Having three children, being on the city council, having a business? This life is a piece of cake compared to Ironman training.” “That’s why I think nobody will outlast me,” she says, beaming a smile. “I never get tired of this work.” Pink lipstick does look good on Latinas. Good call, Choco. sacurrent.com | February 13-26, 2019 | CURRENT

10 CURRENT | February 13-26, 2019 | sacurrent.com

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ANTS N G R E S TA U R P A R T I C I P AT I INCLUDE

WE E T P O E KA • BIBI’S S L O U I E • B OT I AL I DA • BA R O VE R 3 C CA K E R Y • C BITE • COSMI AY Z E LOUNGE • GR • GA R D E N T EA DA V I L A ’ S B B Q R E S O R T S PA L A CA N T E R A G R I L L E 2 5 4 AT E S T M AD E J U I C WINE CO • JU HIGH STREET • L A B OT AN I CA K U N G F U T EA EA M S ONEST ICE CR CA F E • L I C K H L E O N VA L L EY EA T E R Y GHBORHOOD M EA D O W N E I OP EA ’ S BA K E S H MISS CHICKP C O M E X I CA N O U S TO N • N A MARKET ON H K GRILL POULI’S GREE K E S H O P • PA PA N I F I C O BA TS • PRIMERO NCOLN HEIGH PA E SA N O S L I CUISINE CA M E X I CA N PA L O M A B L AN HAKE SHACK THE BURG • S SA N G R I A O N Z R • T H A I TO PA N C O F F E E BA SUMMERMOO D E I G N E T S TA N ONUT • THE B THE ART OF D F C K • TO P G O L THE JERK SHA N + BA R TO R O K I TC H E S TA U R AN T TWO STEP RE GH V I VA L A D O U I S T R EA UX W AL K - O N ’ S B

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Share your burgers using #saburgerweek to enter

Official BURGER WEEK PASSPORT February 22 - March 3, 2019

Armadillos Texas Style Burgers Fiesta Burger with Pork Rinds SPONSORED BY

All beef pattie, shredded cheddar and Monterrey jack cheese, refríed beans, fresh pico de Gallo, fried corn tortilla chips topped with sautéed pork rinds. (210) 226-7556 & (210) 617-7797 | ArmadilloBurger.com 1423 McCullough Ave. & 2619 SE Military Dr.

Biff Buzby’s Burgers All In The Sauce

This is a 1/2lb Fresh Ground Beef Patty with grilled onions American cheese and Biffs special sauce served with crisp Green Leaf Lettuce and Tomato served with our Home Made Pinto Beans. Vegan Option Available

BENEFITTING

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210) 590-2040 | BiffBuzbys.com 12702 Toepperwein Rd. Suite #130

Big Lou’s Burgers & BBQ Kiolbassa Pepper Jack Burger

1/2 pound all beef patty, topped with Kiolbassa sausage, pepper jack cheese and crispy onion rings, drizzled with BBQ ranch special sauce. Served on top a homemade butter toasted bun.

(210) 359-8015 | BigLousBurgersBBQ-satx.com 2014 S WW White Rd

Big Poppas Tacos Hoodrat Burger

Toasted King Hawaiian bun, lettuce, tomatoes, avo, mozzarella, seared slice of ham, stuffed with house marinated pastor and FLAMIN HOT CHEETOS!!

(210) 231-0042 | Facebook.com/BigPoppasTaco 2118 N PanAm Expressway

Big’z Burger Joint The Big’z signature Chalupa Burger

1/4lb of angus beef sits on a Crispy chalupa shell topped with refried beans, cheddar cheese and Pico de gallo.

(210) 408-2029 and (210) 543-2029 | bigz-burgerjoint.com 2303 N Loop 1604 W and 10106 TX-151

Burger Boy Double Boy

Our famous double patty burger boy built with mustard, lettuce, onion, tomato & pickles. (extras such as cheese, fries, drink sold separately.)

(210) 735-1955 & (210) 267-9643 | BurgerBoySA.com 2323 N St Mary’s St. | 9334 Potranco Rd.

Burgerim Park North Big Burger 1/3lb burger in any style you want!

(210) 455-4922 | burgerim.com Northwest Loop 410, Suite 110

Burgerteca La Especial

Beef, American cheese, Teca Sauce(tomatillo ketchup), crispy onions (210) 635-0016 | ChefJohnnyHernandez.com/Restaurants/Burgerteca 403 Blue Star #105

Charlie Brown’s Neighborhood Bar & Grill 210 Burger

1/3lb patty on top of refried beans and a crispy corn tortilla, topped with guacamole and queso.

(210) 496-7092 | Charlie-Browns.com 11888 Starcrest Dr. Suite 101

Cheesy Janes The Comal

1/4lb Certified Angus Ground Chuck, pepper jack cheese. Applewood smoked bacon, Chipotle mayo and grilled onions. ($5 Burger for Dine-In Only)

210-826-0800 | CheesyJanes.com 4200 Broadway St.

Chris Madrid’s Cheddar Cheezy

Lots of melted cheddar cheese, with mustard, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and onions.

(210) 735-3552 | ChrisMadrids.com 830 W Hollywood Ave.

Chunky’s Burgers Hickery Burger

1/2lb off fresh beef cooked to perfection with white American cheese, thick cut bacon, 2 crispy onion rings, drizzled with our own tangy bbq sauce then topped with a handmade bun.

(210) 433-9960 | MyChunkysBurgers.com 4602 Callaghan Rd

For more info or full list of restaurants, visit satxburgerweek.com

CURRENT | February 13-26, 2019 | sacurrent.com

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Cover 3 French Onion Truffle Burger

Half Pound Angus Beef Patty with Caramelized Onions, Roasted Garlic and Herb Truffle Aioli, Gruyere Cheese, and Crispy Onions, Garlic and Herb Truffle Aioli, Gruyere Cheese, and Crispy Onions, on a Brioche Bun.

(210) 479-9700 | Cover-3.com/san-antonio-page 1806 N 1604 W.

Fugu Poke House Fugu Burger

Spicy tuna, lettuce, mozzarella cheese, avocado and spicy mayo, with a side of fresh to order fries. 210-267-5504 | FuguPokeHouse.com 23702 West Interstate 10 Frontage Road # 101

Fuddruckers 1/3lb Blackened Cajun Burger

Our 100% all-American beef is seasoned and grilled with blackened seasoning, topped with Pepper Jack Cheese, sautéed onions and peppers, slices of andouille sausage, and remoulade sauce. Served on a fresh baked bun.

Multiple San Antonio Locations

Hawx Burger Bar Longhorn Burger

1/2lb Angus Chuck Beef patty, Cheddar Cheese, French Fried Onions, Bevo Sauce, Lettuce, and Tomato.

(210) 908-9354 | Facebook.com/HawxSonterra 700 E. Sonterra Blvd. Suite 318

Highlander Son of a Brisket Burger

Our famous Highlander Burger with a South Texas twist! A quarter pound patty fresh from Bolners Meat Market, Add a quarter pound of Award Winning Brisket with Pickles Onions, Pepper Jack Cheese and Pepper.

(210) 340-4577 | Facebook.com/Highlander-Bar-Grill 5562 Fredericksburg Rd.

Hometown Burger Hometown Burger

Double Meat, Double Cheese with Bacon, comes with mayo, mustard, lettuce, tomato and pickles.

(210) 928-8646 | HometownBurger.com 3436 Roosevelt Ave.

Hopdoddy Burger Bar Tao of Sow

This Lunar New Year burger celebrates the year of the pig with the fresh and bold flavors of moo-shu! A fresh spiced ground pork patty rests between a sesame seed bun. Crunchy moo-shu slaw and Emperor Sauce, a sticky-sweet BBQ finish this masterpiece!

(210) 434-2337 | HopDoddy.com 17623 La Cantera Pkwy

The Jerk Shack The Jerk Burger

Caribbean Jerk Burger with smoked Gouda, habanero ketchup, jerk aioli, grilled pineapple, tomatoes, and butter lettuce. (210) 776-7780 | facebook.com/thejerkshacksatx 117 Matyear

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Johnny Rockets The Original Burger

Sangria on the Burg The PB&J

(210) 444-0720 | Johnnyrockets.com Rivercenter Mall, 849 E Commerce St. #677

(210) 265-3763 | SangriaOnTheBurg.com 5115 Fredericksburg Rd.

The Lion & Rose Sidekick Burgers

Shake Shack ShackBurger®

(210) 798-5466 | TheLionandRose.com 17627 La Cantera Pkwy

(210) 277-4770 | ShakeShack.com 7427 San Pedro Ave.

Longhorn Cafe The Frito Pie Burger

Southtown 101 Peanut Butter Burger

1/4 pound Angus beef, brioche bun, lettuce, tomato, chopped onion, relish, pickles, mustard and mayo.

Two sidekick burgers with black angus beef.

1/3 lb fresh ground beef, homemade chili, Fritos, diced onions, and topped with grated cheddar cheese on a toasted bun!

210-492-0301 | TheLonghornCafe.com 17625 Blanco Rd.

Lucy Cooper’s Icehouse Juicy Lucy

Our House Burger is two 4oz patties with American Cheese. Lettuce, Tomatoes, onions and pickles. Do you want Mayo or Mustard? Let your server know!

(210) 462-1894 | facebook.com/lucycooperstexasicehouse/ 16080 San Pedro Ave.

Luther’s Cafe Luther’s Original

Just like we have made for 70 years, 1/3 lb beef patty, Lettuce, Tomato, Onions, Pickles and Mustard!

(210) 223-7727 | LuthersCafe.com 1503 N Main Ave.

San Antonio Marriott Rivercenter & Marriott Riverwalk Hot Shoppes’ Mighty Mo Burger

1/3 lb Mix of 1/2 Ground Chuck, 1/2 Brisket, Chunky Peanut Butter with Honey, 3 Pepper Jelly on Texas Toast, Optional Brie $1

Single Cheeseburger topped with lettuce, tomato, ShackSauce™.

6oz Fresh All Beef Patty Grilled to Perfection, Topped with Melted Peanut Butter and Chopped Crisp Bacon. Served on a Sweet Square Bun.

(210) 263-3753 | Southtown101.net 101 Pereida St.

Two Step Restaurant and Cantina Santa Fe Burger

Handmade ground round, topped with lettuce, tomato, guacamole, pico de Gallo, roasted poblano pepper, and a drizzle of queso (210) 688-2686 | TwoStepRestaurant.com 9840 W Loop 1604 N.

The Well The All is Well Burger

1/4lb angus burger topped with chopped brisket, BBQ aioli, lettuce, tomato, onion and housemade pickles. (210) 877-9099 | thewellsanantonio.com 5539 UTSA Boulevard

Beef Patties, American cheese, shredded lettuce, bread-and-butter pickles and Mighty Mo sauce. (210) 223-1000 | Marriott.com/hotels/hotel-information/restaurant/satrc-san-antonio-marriott-rivercenter/

101 Bowie St.

Orderup BBQ Brisket Burger

grilled patty topped with slow-cooked brisket, bbq sauce, cheddar, pickles, and fried onion straws on a buttered, toasted bun.

(210) 824-9600 | Orderup-SA.com 999 E. Basse Rd. #193

Papa’s Burgers El Caliente

1/3 lb fresh, seasoned beef patty with grilled onions and grilled jalapenos, crisp lettuce and tomato served on our buttery toasted buns.

210-336-7743 | PapasBurgersAndMore.com 709 Old Hwy 90 West

sacurrent.com | February 13-26, 2019 | CURRENT

THU | 2/14 BURLESQUE

VA-VA-VALENTINE p

Courtesy of Jim Gaffigan

WED | 2/13

With scrappy beginnings on the stages of divey bars all over San Antonio, the Pastie Pops burlesque troupe has evolved into a force to be reckoned with. Launched in 2011 with a mission to fill a void in the local scene, the scantily clad Pops have carved out a unique niche with an inclusive, body-positive and fun-loving attitude while slowly but surely graduating to fully realized shows at the Aztec Theatre. Named Best Burlesque Troupe in our 2017 readers’ poll, the group combines the eclectic talents of Jasper St. James (the Big and Tall That Bares It All), Elle Du

COMEDY

JIM GAFFIGAN L

Currently on his 2019 Quality Time Tour, Jim Gaffigan, Grammy-nominated observational comedian, actor, writer, producer and pitchman (yes, he’s one of about a dozen thespians to play KFC’s Colonel Sanders on TV), will make a stop at the AT&T Center during this year’s San Antonio Stock Show & Rodeo. Although he’ll have to compete with pony rides, swine races and sheep shearing during the rodeo’s family-friendly 18-day run, Gaffigan isn’t the least bit worried about a little cowboy competition. In fact, the rodeo’s PG-rated (re: udders) attractions fit in nicely with his “clean” (and whispery) comedy act. Last year, Gaffigan released a new comedy special, Noble Ape, a project he decided not to release on Netflix partly because not streaming it on a platform where everyone expects it to stream provides “some freshness to it.” In one joke on Noble Ape, Gaffigan explains that Jello is made of “bones and hooves” and then attempts to comprehend what kind of madman would make a dessert for kids out of those ingredients. Hopefully, Gaffigan doesn’t stray too far away from the rodeo grounds, or someone might treat him to a bowl of menudo. $20-$200, 7pm, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center Pkwy., (210) 444-5140, attcenter.com. — Kiko Martinez

Jour (the Contemporary Tease), Mary Annette (the Doll with No Strings Attached), Vixy Van Hellen (the Bare Bottom of Bexar County), new trans member Mustang Ryder (the Rhinestone Cowboy) and emcee Camille Toe (the One You Want to Pick). A festive tradition four years strong, their Va-Va-Valentine extravaganza welcomes an enticing array of visiting performers into the fold for an evening filled with “red-hot burlesque, boylesque, drag, sideshow and so much more!” A tatted-up alternative model who’s earned the Queen of Burlesque crown at the New Orleans Burlesque Festival and a starring role in the variety show Absinthe at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, New Yorker Raquel Reed once again headlines the glittery date-night favorite alongside such special guests as Austinites Frostine Shake and Chola Magnolia, and the Alamo City’s own Natasha B. Capri. $20-$50, 8pm, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com. — Bryan Rindfuss

THU | 2/14 - SAT | 2/16 COMEDY

HEATHER MCDONALD E

Despite early success as a member of the uber-influential LA-based improv troupe the Groundlings (Will Ferrell, Kathy Griffin, Phil Hartman, Melissa McCarthy and Paul Reubens are all alumni) and a Wayans Brothers collaborator who helped write the films White Chicks and Dance Flick, former sorority sister Heather McDonald will perhaps always be best recognized as one of the writers, actors and roundtablers who helped make Chelsea Handler’s late-night talk show Chelsea Lately a hit for seven years. A bubbly dichotomy who simultaneously embodies and critiques Hollywood stereotypes, McDonald — a self-professed “perfect wife and mother of three” — put up with consistent jabs from Handler, who drove her questionable nickname (“Long Boobs”) into the ground. (In 2013, the Hollywood Reporter published an open letter from McDonald to Handler titled “Dear Chelsea, my boobs aren’t long.”) Since her days on Chelsea Lately Bryan Rindfuss

ART

‘AMERICAN DREAMS: CLASSIC CARS AND POSTWAR PAINTINGS’

THU | 2/14 - TUE | 2/26

In 2016, New York’s Museum of Modern Art (MoMA) unveiled “From the Collection: 1960-1969,” a chronologically organized capsule of its world-renowned permanent collection that went beyond the expected paintings, drawings and sculptures to include books, design objects and archival materials in immersive environments that conjured stylized time capsules. Reporting on that inspired reconfiguration, the New York Times pointed out that “treasures long secreted in departmental galleries have come to the center ring, like the Jaguar E-Type Roadster that dominates, perhaps a little too completely, the 1961 gallery.” Borrowing creative direction from MoMA’s 1961 gallery, the McNay takes a similarly unorthodox approach to its new era-focused exhibition “American Dreams: Classic Cars and Postwar Paintings.” Organized by the McNay’s René Paul Barilleaux, head of curatorial affairs; Kate Carey, head of education; and Jackie Edwards, assistant curator, it reconstructs a vivid slice of what’s been called “America’s Golden Age” by parking 10 painstakingly restored vintage automobiles inside the museum to engage in “unique visual conversations” with paintings that exemplify artistic movements that emerged from the economic expansion following WWII — specifically abstract expressionism, pop art and op art. In addition to paintings by such heavy hitters as Frank Stella, Roy Lichtenstein, Robert Indiana and Ed Ruscha, “American Dreams” strives for “strong representation of women artists” by highlighting works by Joan Mitchell, Grace Hartigan, Judith Godwin and Dorothy Hood. It also celebrates the contributions of women in the male-dominated auto industry with complementary programs including Trent Sherrill a lecture by author, Girls Auto Clinic owner and self-professed “sheCANic” Patrice Bank (save the date for April 4). But the choice caravan of “sculpture on wheels” is arguably more likely to emerge as the show’s main attraction and help the McNay achieve its goal to “reach new audiences and speak directly to the backgrounds, cultures and interests of more San Antonians than ever before.” Roughly mirroring the work on the walls in terms of timeframe and evolving aesthetics, the gleaming rides run the gamut from a 1948 Tucker (reportedly one of only 51 manufactured) and a pink-and-purple 1956 Chrysler DeSoto Firedome to a 1963 Corvette and a blinged-out, highly Instagrammable “Spurs Camaro” on loan from Holt Companies Executive Vice President Larry Mills. During the show’s 13-week run, guests can take in car-themed films curated by cinephile and longtime Current contributor Manuel Solis and try their luck by purchasing raffle tickets ($10-$100) to win a yellow 1953 Chrysler New Yorker taxi cab, complete with checkered stripes. $5-$10, 10am-9pm Thu, 10am-6pm Fri, 10am-5pm Sat, noon-5pm Sun, 10am6pm Wed through May 19, McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368, mcnayart.org. — BR 14 CURRENT | February 13-26, 2019 | sacurrent.com

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Ballet San Antonio

Courtesy of Heather McDonald

and its mockumentary spinoﬀ After Lately, McDonald has maintained a consistent on-air presence via appearances on everything from Watch What Happens Live and All About Sex to Keeping Up with the Kardashians and RuPaul’s Drag Race; penned the best-selling memoirs You’ll Never Blue Ball in This Town Again: One Woman’s Painfully Funny Quest to Give It Up and My Inappropriate Life (Some Stories Not Suitable for Nuns, Children, or Mature Adults); and launched Juicy Scoop, a pop-culture-obsessed podcast that tackles Real Housewives, celebrity scandals, crime, politics and plenty in between. Laugh Out Loud welcomes the

goofy, unfiltered SoCal native for a threenight run that kicks oﬀ Valentine’s Day. $22-$52, 8pm Thu, 7:30pm & 9:45pm Fri, 7pm & 9:30pm Sat, Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805, lolsanantonio. com. — BR

FRI | 2/15 SPECIAL EVEN T

CABARET FOLLIES p

Having cut her teeth in France, Erika Moon’s take on burlesque is distinctly European, veering away from the solo-centric American burlesque tradition. Just in time for Valentine’s, Moon’s latest production, Cabaret Follies, makes its debut as the tour launches in San Antonio. Cabaret Follies epitomizes Moon’s unique style, combining burlesque,

Erica Moon Productions

cabaret, comedy and dance into a variety show that evokes the quintessence of Moulin Rouge with a vaudevillian twist. Moon and her company’s varied repertory include burlesque acts themed on Cleopatra and a blooming flower, performances by Vegas-style showgirls and cancan dancers, as well as surprise guests and variety acts that are sure to impress. $29.75-$77.75, 8pm Fri, Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 226 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — Kelly Merka Nelson

FRI | 2/15 – SUN | 2/17 BALLET

CARMEN L

Originally composed by Georges Bizet as an opera, Carmen has been regularly performed as a ballet since Roland Petit first premiered his company’s adaptation of the work in London in 1949. Drawn from Prosper Mérimée’s 1845 novella, Carmen depicts the dangerous, ill-fated romance of protagonists Carmen and Don José. Certainly, the writing seems to be on the wall when the two first meet, as Carmen seduces the guard Don José into releasing her from arrest for a petty crime. Whipped into a frenzy by her incredible beauty, Don José allows himself to be sucked into her machinations, ditching his fiancée and becoming drawn into Carmen’s criminal plans. Ever mercurial, Carmen’s affections shift to the toreador Escamillo, leaving Don José desperate to possess her once more, at any cost. Ballet San Antonio’s production features choreography by the company’s former First Soloist and Cuban International Choreographer Yosvani Cortellan. $24.50$129, 7:30pm Fri-Sat, 2pm Sun, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, H-E-B- Performance Hall, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, balletsanantonio.org. — KMN

CURRENT | February 13-26, 2019 | sacurrent.com

calendar FRI | 2/15 - SUN | 2/24 TH EATER

THE TRIP TO BOUNTIFUL \

Trapped in a cramped Houston apartment with her spineless son and domineering daughter-in-law, the elderly Carrie Watts pines for her beloved hometown of Bountiful, Texas. After being denied a begged-for trip to see Bountiful once more before she dies, Carrie makes a break for it, wending her own way toward the small town on her own power. But the present day can never match up with sepia-toned memories, and Carrie is left to observe the derelict remains of her childhood. Written by Texas native Horton Foote (who adapted To Kill A Mockingbird for the silver screen), The Trip To Bountiful was later made into a movie that won Geraldine Page the 1985 Oscar for Best Actress, although it was filmed in Dallas despite its Houston setting. The Classic Theatre’s production is directed by John O’Neill and stars Magda Porter, Jessie Mae and Steven Starr. $18-$33, 8pm Fri-Sat, 3 pm Sun through March 10, the Classic Theatre of San Antonio, 1924 Fredericksburg Rd., (210) 589-8450, classictheatre.org. — KMN

SAT | 2/16 SPECIAL EVEN T

MY BLOODY VALENTINE E

Classic Theatre of San Antonio

Billed as “the only large-scale gathering of sideshow performers, producers and fans currently happening in the Southern United States,” the Southern Sideshow Hootenanny takes over New Orleans each March with performances, lectures, panels and workshops covering topics ranging from fire safety to “schmoozing for bookings.” The Alamo City’s only troupe dedicated

Sparx Photography

to the genre, Le Strange Sideshow has scored a spot on the lineup for The Originators of Sideshow Showcase (March 22) — a festival opener hosted by “five-foot firecracker” Alexa Von Kickinface. In order to oﬀset their expenses, Le Strange is celebrating the most saccharine of holidays with My Bloody Valentine, a fundraiser featuring performances by troupe members Lita Deadly (pictured), Layna D’Luna, Salem, Robyn Rouxlette and Aliska Wolfbane along with special guests Baddest Gladys, Madame Sin Claire, Miss Taint, Dan Block and Austin-based Fifi Switchblade. In addition to daring feats involving tarantulas, broken glass, whips, balloon swallowing, a “human dartboard” and ladder of machetes, the anti-Valentine’s Day oﬀering includes raffles, vendors and live music by industrial metalheads Requiem Rust and sinister rockers Minister Fiend. $10-$25, 9pm-2am, Zombies Bar, 4202 Thousand Oaks Dr., facebook.com/lestrangesideshow. — BR

SPECIAL EVEN T

ON AND OFF FREDERICKSBURG ROAD STUDIO TOUR

A Deco District signature presented under the umbrella of Bihl Haus Arts, the On and Off Fredericksburg Road Studio Tour first took shape in 2007 when gallery director Dr. Kellen McIntyre took note of the high concentration of artists and artisans living and working in the neighborhoods of Monticello Park, Beacon Hill, Jefferson, Alta Vista, Keystone and Woodlawn Lake. Compiled by McIntyre every year since, the On and Off Fred catalog functions as a handy map and illustrated guide to the dozens of participating studios, homes and workspaces not otherwise open to the public. With a strict emphasis on local art (“We have never been interested in non-local artists,” McIntyre told the Current in 2017 ahead of On and Off Fred’s 10th anniversary), the tour aims to give broader visibility to area creatives regardless of their medium of choice (painting, sculpture, jewelry, photography, stained glass, yard art, you name it) but also presents shoppers and browsers with a unique opportunity to get personally acquainted with ’hoods beyond their bubbles. Uniting more than 80 artists, the 12th annual event kicks off Friday with an opening reception and “Autograph Party” featuring live music by Chicano soul fusionists Los Nahuatlatos. Free (catalog $10), opening reception 6-9pm Fri, Bihl Haus Arts, 2803 Fredericksburg Rd., (210) 383-9723; tour 11am-6pm Sat, noon-5pm Sun, locations vary, onandoﬀfred.org. — BR

FRI | 2/15 - SUN | 2/17 Diana Harwood

sacurrent.com | February 13-26, 2019 | CURRENT

Centro Cultural Aztlan presents:

Saturday, Feb. 16 11AM-5PM Sunday Feb. 17 12-5PM

ArtistSâ€™ Open Studios Artisan Market LIVE ART PAINTING DEMONSTRATIONS BODY PAINTING BY oSCAR gALVAN jr.

Centro Cultural Aztlan 1800 Fredricksburg Road, suite 103 210-434-1896 www.centroaztlan.org

JUST ANNOUNCED!

JULY 10

MAJESTIC THEATRE Sign up for ExcluSivE prESalES & announcEmEntS! tExt maJESticEmpirE to 22828

CURRENT | February 13-26, 2019 | sacurrent.com

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adaptation of Charlotte Brönte’s Jane Eyre. It premiered to mostly positive reception, although critics and audiences alike have sensed “creepy undertones” embedded in the notions of romance peddled in this turn-of-the-century story. Ultimately, anyone enamored with schmaltzy musical adaptations of sentimental American literature will find something to love in Daddy Long Legs, or, at the very least, a safe event to bring along an arachnophobic friend. $10-$40, 7:30pm Thu-Sat, 2pm Sun through Mar. 17, Public Theater of San Antonio, Cellar Theater, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258, thepublicsa.org. — KMN

SAT | 2/23 Courtesy of Raven

THU | 2/21 COMEDY

PATTON OSWALT p

Although he’s built himself quite the name in film and television, from voicing rat protagonist Remy in Pixar’s Ratatouille (2007) to his viral role on Parks and Recreation as a disgruntled, filibustering citizen in 2013, as well as myriad appearances on almost any show you can imagine, Patton Oswalt’s true calling has always been stand-up comedy. His 2016 special Talking for Clapping earned him both a Primetime Emmy and a Grammy, and he followed that up with 2017’s alternatingly hilarious and devastating Annihilation, in which he wrangled with the sudden loss of his wife, true-crime author Michelle McNamara, who died in April 2016. Oswalt is a rare breed of performer who can deftly jump from material on our country’s infamous “racist scrotum dipped in Cheeto dust” to the day he told his young daughter that her mother was dead without giving

Courtesy of Patton Oswalt

the audience whiplash. With Annihilation under his belt, it’s unlikely his material will let up on this latest tour, so be ready for things to get a bit heavy amidst the laughs. $34.50-$75, 7:30pm Thu, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, H-E-B Performance Hall, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org. — KMN

THU | 2/21 SUN | 2/24 THEATER

DADDY LONG LEGS

Sorry, arachnophiles — the Public’s latest production is not centered on the spindly eight-legged creatures often found huddled en masse in dark corners. No, the musical’s eponymous character is in fact a wealthy benefactor of the bipedal variety, who pays for orphaned protagonist Jerusha Abbott’s schooling and requests only monthly letters from her in return. Jean Webster’s 1912 novel Daddy Long Legs fits nicely alongside its 19th-century predecessors, such as Louisa May Alcott’s Little Women. Centered on a virtuous young woman struggling in poverty borne out of tragedy, Webster sets her protagonist on the path to success via the generosity of a young, handsome and (most importantly) rich man who takes a shine to her when he sees her at the orphanage that she calls home. Drawing from the same sentimentality that’s given us multiple film adaptations of Little Women, Daddy Long Legs was brought to the stage in the aughts by John Caird and Paul Gordon, who previously teamed up on a musical

DRAG

RAVEN T

A California native of Russian descent, David Petruschin is admittedly fond of “winged creatures.” As a go-go boy on the SoCal club scene, he dubbed himself Phoenix before developing the drag persona Raven. Arriving on the second season of RuPaul’s Drag Race back in 2010, the professional makeup artist and performer explained his shape-shifting aesthetic as such: “I like to be that mysterious, dark, ice queen. I think I have a look that people might be a little intimidated by.” While costumes,

wigs, colored contacts and falsies — not to mention a liberal dose of bitchiness — are essential to Petruschin’s dramatic transformations, a fair amount of that intimidation factor can be credited to his meticulous makeup artistry. Severe contouring, winged cat eyes, overblown mod lips and surprisingly natural-looking (gasp!) makeup colors are but a few of the hallmarks that have rendered Raven a drag influencer with staying power. Although robbed twice of the title of America’s Next Drag Superstar (the second time being the first season of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars), the so-called “Queen of Runner-Ups” has established a consistent presence on the reality competition series as both a creative producer and Mama Ru’s official makeup artist. Possibly even fiercer than a Drag Race title, Petruschin earned an Emmy nomination last year (in the category of Television and New Media Series: Best Contemporary Makeup) and his alter ego Raven was featured by Vanity Fair as the gold standard for the 2000s era in a video celebrating 100 Years of Drag Fashion. Rey Lopez Entertainment brings the multi-tasking queen back to town for two shows at Heat with support from camptastic hostess Tencha la Jefa and the RLE Showgirls. $12-$25, 10:30pm & midnight Sat, Heat Nightclub, 1500 N. Main Ave., (210) 386-4537, reylopezentertainment.net. — BR

FRI | 2/22

FILM

New Line Cinema

THE GUYVER

What happens when you cross the campiness of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles with body horror SFX? 1991’s The Guyver, of course! Based on the long-running manga Bio Booster Armor Guyver (which is still ongoing!), this ﬂick is often overlooked as yet another of the myriad failed science-fiction adaptations of the ’80s and ’90s. But don’t let its reputation fool you, because this is your only chance to see Luke Skywalker undergo a half-Kafka, half-Cronenberg on-screen transformation into a cockroach-esque menace. That’s right — The Guyver boasts Star Wars royalty Mark Hamill on the cast, though his omnipresence in its promo materials belie the actual size of his role. Genre legends Michael Berryman (The Hills Have Eyes) and Jeffrey Combs (Re-Animator) also pop up, which makes sense, since the film was directed by two men responsible for some of the most iconic horror special effects of the ’80s: Steve Wang (Predator) and the aptly monikered Screaming Mad George (Big Trouble in Little China). If you love David Cronenberg and H.R. Giger but wish their work featured more hackneyed comedy bits, this is the movie for you. Free, 8pm Fri, Künstler Brewing, 302 E. Lachapelle, (210) 688-4519, planetxcinema.com. — KMN sacurrent.com | February 13-26, 2019 | CURRENT

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SAT | 2/23 TALKS

ARMCHAIR EXPERT L

Known to most for either his roles in slapstick comedies like 2004’s Without a Paddle or his marriage to Veronica Mars herself, Kristen Bell, Dax Shepard has embarked on a path taken by many a celebrity before him: podcasting. His show Armchair Expert follows a conversational format which readily lends itself to the title’s origin. As far back as the 1800s, the phrases “armchair traveller” or “armchair critic” were deployed to indicate an amateur who provides advice or critique from the comfort of their own home, devoid of practical experience in the matter at hand. Shepard’s spin on this idiom is to explore the “messiness of being human” via philosophical conversations with both experts and laymen, the latter of which are often Shepard’s fellow celebs, like Sarah Silverman and Michael Peña. For its live shows, Shepard and co-host Monica Padman bring on surprise guests that

Courtesy of Armachair Expert

are often local to each city — the last time Armchair Expert swung down to Austin, they spoke with University of Houston professor Bréne Brown, who has spent her career researching courage, empathy, shame and vulnerability. $39.50-$69.50, 8pm Sat, Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — KMN

SAT | 2/23 SPECIAL EVENT

ART OF FETISH & FASHION p

Championing a provocative aesthetic that sways from ethereal and romantic to dark and slightly macabre, La Santa Luna has evolved from a specialty boutique into a self-described “fashion collective” driven by creative director, designer and “head mother” Erica Reyna with support and inspiration

Rico Olguin

CURRENT | February 13-26, 2019 | sacurrent.com

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like Issac Marion’s zombie rom-com Warm Bodies. While readers of all ages can appreciate poetic renderings of heartbreak, this particular event is understandably restricted to those aged 18 and over. $15-$25, 8pm Sat, Sexology Institute, 707 S. St. Mary’s St., (210) 4870371, sexologyinstitute.com. — KMN

Courtesy of Naked Girls Reading

from photographers, makeup artists, models, muses and brand ambassadors. Having recently celebrated her birthday with a crimson-themed “Red N Wild” dance party, Reyna rallies the troops for what’s arguably La Santa Luna’s biggest spectacle of the year — the Art of Fetish & Fashion. Adopting a hybridized erotic/religious theme of “Worship,” the third annual event combines fetish, burlesque and drag performances by Lita Deadly, Miss Taint, Ruby Knight, Caleb de Casper, Scarlet Valentine and Gilbert Votion, among others; adult novelty vendors oﬀering handmade leather floggers, impact tools, and jute and coconut ropes for shibari enthusiasts; an edgy photo gallery with work by Rico Olguin, Gina Garcia-Sandoval, Mary Rodriguez and Andrew Lopez; and an intimate “Red Room” equipped with a spanking area overseen by “naughty nuns.” The evening’s main attraction, however, takes shape in an over-the-top runway presentation showcasing the eclectic La Santa Luna family dolled up in corsets, head pieces, bondage-inspired gear and androgynous creations crafted by Reyna and collaborating designer Eden Ortiz. $20-$40, 6pm-midnight Sat, Brick at Blue Star, (210) 262-8653, facebook. com/lasantalunatx. — BR

SAT | 2/23 SPECIAL EVENT

‘BAD ROMANCE’ L

Naked Girls Reading is back in the buﬀ to darkly mark Valentine’s Day with an event they’ve dubbed “Bad Romance.” If you’re sick of aisles of chocolates and saccharine celebrations of “twoo love,” the Naked Girls certainly empathize: for “Bad Romance,” the readers will bare their bodies and relate stories of heartbreak both classic and modern, featuring excerpts from some of literature’s greatest hits (Romeo and Juliet, anyone?) alongside poetry, song lyrics, and unconventional takes on the genre

Courtesy of Alamo City Guitar Bazaar

SAT | 2/23 SUN | 2/24 SPECIAL EVEN T

ALAMO CITY GUITAR BAZAAR L

As many expos and conventions as San Antonio hosts, it’s surprising a largescale guitar show has never landed here. But that’s indeed the situation, and to remedy it, the owners of Robot Monster Guitars and Collectibles have launched the Alamo City Guitar Bazaar, the first of what they’re hoping becomes an annual excuse for musicians and hobbyists to mingle, haggle and horse trade for vintage, used and new instruments. Around 50 vendors from all over the country are expected to bring in 2,000-plus guitars. While similar events in other cities draw plenty of bargain hunters, they’re also magnets for deep-pocketed collectors. So, don’t be surprised if you see some jaw-droppingly rare axes with price tags on par with that of a new car. $7, 10am-6pm Sat, 10am-5pm Sun, El Tropicano Riverwalk Hotel, 110 Lexington Ave., (210) 489-0665, alamocityguitarbazaar. com. — SANFORD NOWLIN sacurrent.com | February 13-26, 2019 | CURRENT

MAR. 21, 2019 - 7:30PM (830)627-0808 290 W. San Antonio St., New Braunfels, TX 78130

Chris Conde Album Release show

Thursday February 14th - Limelight 9pm $5-$8 - 2718 N. St Mary’s St .

MARCH 21, 2018 – AT&T CENTER 22

CURRENT | February 13-26, 2019 | sacurrent.com

Featuring: PinkLeche •*

D.R.O * Heartless The Monster

arts Courtesy of San Antonio Public Library

Pop Goes the Library

SA Public Library’s second Pop Con grows bigger and geekier BY RICK KLAW

ast spring, the inaugural San Antonio Pop Con drew more than 2,100 people. While that may pale in comparison to the tens of thousands drawn by pop-culture conventions like Alamo City Comic Con, it outstripped the expectations of the San Antonio Public Library, which organized the event as a new way to engage with the public. On the strength of that success, Pop Con will return February 16, transforming the first three floors of the Central Library into a fullon geek fest, featuring panels and presentations by artists, actors, comic book creators and best-selling authors, plus the expected array of gaming areas, cosplay, contests and kids’ activities. “It’s a way for the library to reach out to the community in a slightly different way. We’re not just offering books or job searches,” said Rhonda Woolhouse, the show’s organizer and a librarian for the City. “We’re offering something really fun. People can

bond over shared interests.” While the first Pop Con drew heavily on local and regional talent, organizers this year cast a wider net. Notables include New York Times bestselling urban fantasy author Kelley Armstrong, legendary science fiction writer Michael Moorcock (see the accompanying story), illustrator-author Gregory Manchess, anime voice actor Terri Doty and Shea Serrano, the San Antonio-based author of the bestselling Basketball (and Other Things). At first glance, Pop Con may resemble Alamo City Comic Con or any number of pop culture conventions that have popped up around the country in recent years. But its guests point to some key differences. First, it’s free. That puts it in contrast to many cons that charge not only a hefty admission price but add-on fees for meet-andgreets, photo ops and autographs with guests. At Pop Con, guests will largely be accessible to fans, often selling their own books or prints and presiding over presentations where they

Courtesy of San Antonio Public Library

answer questions about their work. A second diﬀerence is that Pop Con is primarily focused on the people who dream up and develop the pop culture it celebrates as opposed to conventions where the primary attraction is getting to shake hands with TV and movie celebrities. “This is an event focused on the creators, the people who are the storytellers,” said John Picacio, a San Antonio-based illustrator who’s returning for his second Pop Con. “The organizers have a good grasp of how to pull talent from the local area that will turn some heads.” Picacio, who’s worked on myriad science fiction books and projects, including the Game of Thrones franchise, expects to be hawking and signing his own wares — not to mention answering plenty of questions from fans. 25 6

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12th annual

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 6 - 9 pm:

CATALOGS AVAILABLE NOW!

Admission for two to Fred events is free with the purchase of the tour catalog (excluding theatre performances). Advance catalogs ($10) available at these area

ON & OFF FRED AUTOGRAPH PARTY Opening Reception @ Bihl Haus Arts • 2803 Fredericksburg Road • 210.383.9723 Music by Los Nahuatlatos • hors d’oeuvres & libations • 70+ featured visual artists & more than 200 guest poets, musicians & performance & visual artists!

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 11 am - 6 pm & SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 17, Noon - 5 pm:

ON & OFF FRED ROAD STUDIO TOUR Buy a catalog, follow the map, look for yellow balloons & yard signs! Spend the weekend meandering through artists’ studios and area galleries. From reclaimed former neighborhood grocery stores to intimate backyard sanctuaries, the studios on the tour provide environments in which local contemporary artists create a variety of works, such as largescale ceramic sculptures, metalwork, one-of-a-kind light fixtures, art photography, bead work and embroidery, and painting in a variety of styles. Demonstrations, hospitality, and opportunities to purchase art directly from the artists are all part of the On & Off Fred experience.

businesses:

DANDYLAND TATTOO 1620 Fredericksburg Rd • 210.4232.5747 DECO PIZZERIA 1815 Fredericksburg Rd • 210.732.3326 DECO PIZZERIA 2026 Babcock Rd #107 • 210.996.3316 THE JUNCTION 1704 Blanco Rd • 210.273.3439 THE TWIG at The Pearl Brewery • 210.826.6411 VEE’S SALON 1022 Donaldson • 210.733.7131

Catalogs will also be available during the tour for $15 at Bihl Haus on Feb. 16 and 17 Join us for the ON & OFF FRED AUTOGRAPH PARTY at Bihl Haus Arts, 2803 Fredericksburg Road, 6-9 pm on Friday, February 15, 2019. Admission for two to this event is included with the purchase of the ON & OFF FRED CATALOG. So please purchase a catalog and bring a friend!

www.OnAndOffFred.org | (210) 383-9723 Presented by:

CURRENT | February 13-26, 2019 | sacurrent.com

@OnAndOffFred

/OnAndOffFred

SPONSORED BY BENEFITTING

Participating Restaurants:

ING IN CIPAT IO I T R A P NTON SAN A WEEK ER BURG

Hom e of Orig the Big inal J

uic yâ„¢

Limited Time Only! The Frito Pie Burger

1/3 lb fresh ground beef, homemade chili, Fritos, diced onions, and topped with grated cheddar cheese on a toasted bun! thelonghorncafe.com | Hours: Sun-Thu 11-9pm | Fri & Sat 11-10pm | multiple locations 40

CURRENT | February 13-26, 2019 | sacurrent.com

food Ron Bechtol

All About the Execution

Spoon Eatery aims for the middle, but its kitchen hits plenty of highs BY RON BECHTOL

estaurant Weeks throughout the nation have offered diners pareddown versions of local menus or looks at experimental works in progress. Plan ahead, because twice a year, San Antonio’s own Culinaria allows you to

experience a place you might not usually venture to try at full price: a $35 dinner is pretty powerful persuasion. For a restaurant critic, Culinaria’s lure isn’t altogether different. I hit upon Spoon Eatery in Castle Hills, taking advantage of the fixed

Roasted tomato soup, served with house-made croutons, is among Spoon’s familiar but well-executed dishes.

dinner menus but selecting dishes usually available at all times. I admit to choosing Spoon despite their use of the word “eatery.” (Really? It’s a food cliché; they spent real money on this place.) I also chose it despite a menu that, to this writer, falls into that no man’s land of restaurants that offer neither new and trail-blazing experiences or the quirk and comfort of a mom-and-pop establishment. But here’s the thing: while 45 6

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food Spoon Eatery 8055 West Ave., Suite 125, 78213 (210) 908-9811 spooneatery.com Hours: 11 a.m-3 p.m. and 5 p.m.-9 p.m., TuesdayThursday; 11 a.m-3 p.m. and 5 p.m.-10 p.m., Friday; 5-11 p.m., Saturday; 10a.m.-3 p.m., Sunday Accessible

Lunch & Dinner entrées: $17.95-$31.90 Best bets: lobster bisque, roasted tomato soup, pork belly bites, fettuccine with marinara sauce, fish of the day, duck in mole sauce

The Skinny: Spoon Eatery may sound like a hopelessly middle-brow name, and the menu may read conservatively middle-of-the-road, but it’s all about execution in this well-turned-out restaurant. Tenderloin served under a smoke-filled cloche is one posh touch; simple fettuccine with marinara shines; and duck in a seductively complex mole sauce is a revelation. Evening service needs to catch up with the kitchen.

Spoon Eatery oﬀers modern American dishes like the deconstructed peach cobbler.

6 47 a tenderloin, grilled salmon and chicken breast may not stir the culinary thrill-seeker’s libido, there’s value in passionate, well-executed, if pedestrian-sounding, dishes. Call them pot boilers with a pedigree. Let’s start with the skewered pork belly bites, an unexpected hit — unexpected because pork belly is beginning to wear out its welcome. However, each bite was voluptuous, the lushness of the fat contrasting beautifully with crisp skin. Both were accented by a housemade barbecue sauce with some serious complexity, offering an almost tar-like texture and color with rewarding fruit, smoke and heat. The next course — the house salad, a dish with a menu description that read like a dating app come-on, promised an oddly enticing “peanut butter vinaigrette” but delivered nothing on top of

Ron Bechtol

the otherwise excellent greens. The lobster bisque, on the other hand, under-promised and overdelivered. Brothy, tasting unabashedly of shell and not depending on cream for its appeal, the soup kept a secret that was ready to be revealed after a little probing — a dropped kerchief of squid ink pasta demurely veiled a small handful of shrimp. The wispy swirl of goat cheese was unable to contribute much in context. Pan-seared red snapper and pato en mole negro were enticing main course menu items, the description of the duck rising to near seductive status. Though the description of the snapper was ordinary, it was nonetheless impeccable — flaky flesh, crackling skin and young vegetables, cooked al dente, bathed in a silky, yet slightly aggressive soy-ginger sauce. The regular menu’s potato galette was substituted by less-posh mashed potatoes, but they were very good mashed potatoes. Perky, petite vegetables, including chayote, also

accompanied the duck in mole sauce. My dining companion somehow snagged the best of the dish, cooked medium rare, but even the more mature parts inspired appreciation. And the mole was no mere flirtation. Rick Bayless, a chef known for his celebration of Oaxacan cuisine, uses a mole negro recipe made with 27 ingredients, four kinds of chile among them. I can’t say that Spoon’s open kitchen went quite as far, but it hit all the deep, sensuous flavors. A “deconstructed” peach cobbler and “decadent” brownie got the dessert nod. The brownie was dry, while the cobbler read more like an apple tart a la mode that had been pulled apart, jaunty beanie of puff pastry and all. But despite its slightly forced of-the-momentness (most times, a good ol’ county fair cobbler is nothing to be ashamed of), it was a good end to the meal. On a second visit, this time for lunch, the first course options offered three soups, including roasted tomato, a regular menu item. Normally presented with billowy puff pastry, the lunch serving sported croutons — but melting into the thick, herby soup as they did, might have proved that beauty is only skin deep. Other options, such as the fettuccine Alfredo are rarely pretty. Butter, cream and cheese combine as an effectively monotone plate, aside from small minced chives that garnished the dish. For both visual and taste reasons, you might want to consider the sautéed shrimp add-on (normally $14.95). They’re good, and they play prettily with the nutmeg-accented sauce, though there may have been too much. In Italy, it’s all about the pasta — it’s not house-made at Spoon, but it’s respectable nonetheless. When the lasagna is paired to the house’s sprightly marinara, it needs no further embellishment but a glass of wine from the demurely priced list. We’ll excuse Spoon from referring to itself as an “eatery” — just this once. sacurrent.com | February 13-26, 2019 | CURRENT

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food

purchases, but those mom-and-pop shops are less likely to carry healthy products with a limited shelf life. What’s more, most wholesale produce distributors require minimum volume purchases to justify delivery costs — large orders that aren’t guaranteed to sell at convenience stores. “[Program stakeholders] asked if we could cut back on our minimum delivery standards and break cases apart, which most companies will not do — and we totally agreed to that,” said Chris Uribe, business development and marketing oﬃcer for River City Produce, itself headquartered on the South Side. “We had noticed there was a big discrepancy in [healthy foods available] on the South Side. There’s really no grocery store or anything in that area, just a Dollar General.” River City has also offered to work with store vendors who order more produce than they can sell. “If they end up only needing two pounds of tomatoes, we’re more than happy to come back and pick it up,” Uribe said. “We already deliver in the area, so it’s not costing us any more to stop by. We’re already down the street from you.”

Market Improvement

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Pilot program will work with corner stores to bring fresh produce to South Side BY LEA THOMPSON

ast food restaurants and corner stores define much of the South Side’s landscape — and its food desert. This lack of healthy eating options is especially tough on vulnerable residents in District 3. For many elderly people and families living in poverty, it’s not easy to make a trip to the nearest grocery store for fresh and nutritious foods. The Healthy Corner Store Initiative — developed by the Food Policy Council of San Antonio, District 3 Councilwoman Rebecca Viagran, University of the Incarnate Word’s School of Osteopathic Medicine, Metro Health San Antonio, healthy frozen food company Happi Foodi and distributors such as River City Produce — aims to fix that by offering easier access to quality food, including fresh fruits and vegetables, at an affordable price. “If you look at District 3, the rate of diabetes is almost three times that of the rest of San Antonio,” said Dr. Anil T. Mangla, associate professor at UIW’s School of Osteopathic Medicine. “We wanted our school to help the community and make a difference. We knew we had to start somewhere.” The HCSI pilot will assist an estimated 400 to 800 area families by bringing healthier food choices to the corner stores where they’re likely to shop, Mangla said. If successful in District 3, it will be expanded to address food deserts in other parts of the city. By the end of February, stakeholders will identify

the five to 10 corner stores that will participate in the pilot. The shops will stock their shelves and coolers with healthier options — initially, fresh fruit and vegetables — over the following weeks. HCSI will then distribute $5 to $20 food vouchers, which are redeemable for healthy food at those stores. The vouchers will be available to District 3 families at events and site visits to Southside ISD campuses, the San Antonio Housing Authority, the District 3 council oﬃce and Metro Health facilities. UIW students will visit participating convenience stores weekly to collect vouchers and reimburse the businesses in cash. The students will also set the metrics used to measure the neighborhood’s health improvements and measure program-related food waste and identify which areas use the vouchers the most.

Selling Smaller The pilot will be funded by $50,000 from the City’s fiscal 2019 budget, as well as a $25,000 grant from Happi Foodi to buy the fridges corner stores need to stock perishable items. “The money will eventually run out, but we want there to be a sustainable business model behind this when it does,” said Mitch Hagney, president of the Food Policy Council of San Antonio. For many South Side residents, corner stores are the most accessible way to make food

Waiting for Years Residents within the Southside ISD have been waiting for years for a neighborhood grocery store. The district’s administration building is a 15-minute car trip away from the nearest supermarket. In 2017, H-E-B Grocery Co. purchased 24 acres for a future mixed-use development at the northwest intersection of Loop 410 and Roosevelt Avenue. However, the company has no immediate plans to build a store. “We can’t wait, we still have to have healthy food for our community,” Councilwoman Viagran said. “We want to fill a gap that we see, and we want to fill it with access to healthy food, now.” Viagran, a longtime advocate for healthier food in her district, helped secure the money from the city budget. After the Food Policy Council received its grant from Happi Foodi, it teamed up with the District 3 oﬃce to bring more community organizations and companies into the mix. “I don’t think many people understand or realize how hard it is for so many [families] to get real food or understand the health concerns that are followed by unhealthy eating,” said Deb Corley, Happi Foodi’s chief marketing oﬃcer. “In my world, that might mean I can change my diet using paleo or keto or organic [foods], but in [a food insecure] world, where the only accessible foods are high-fat and high-sugar, these are things that will literally kill you if you eat [them] every day.” Similar programs in cities such as Philadelphia, Chicago and Houston have experienced growth in participating stores and improvements in residents’ health. UIW’s Mangla hopes to see the same positive results as HCSI grows in San Antonio. “What we’re trying to do through the Healthy Corner Store Initiative right now — changing health, diet and food access — is almost daunting,” Mangla said. “We’re hoping that we can help bring changes to these neighborhoods through this program, but we hope it will make a big difference.” sacurrent.com | February 13-26, 2019 | CURRENT

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e’ve seen burgers evolve from a humble beef patty between sliced bread into an American classic served up by gourmet restaurants and fast-food chains alike. Given the staple’s ongoing evolution, it’s safe to say there’s a burger for every mood and moment. Whether you’re trying to cure an intense hangover, looking for a cheap but delicious meal or ending the night on a tasty note, San Antonio has a burger that will more than do the trick. And San Antonio Burger Week, which runs February 22 through March 3, may prove the perfect opportunity to venture outside your usual neighborhood haunts to seek one out. Dozens of participating restaurants are serving up $5 specialty burgers during the event, proceeds of which benefit the San Antonio Food Bank. What follows is a list of burgers from local eateries — some participating in Burger Week, others not — that shows just how many options our city offers:

THE LOOKER | ZINC 5

Let’s take a moment to appreciate this beauty. Made with locally-sourced lamb, the Devil’s River Lamb Burger combines sweet grilled onions with a spicy serrano fig jam, a slab of triple brie and a bit of sambal mayo to create an incredible dining experience. Add crispy sweet potato fries to the meal for another layer of texture and taste. ($14) 207 N. Presa St., (210) 224-2900.

THE ONE THAT NEEDS EXTRA NAPKINS | BURGERTECA \ Things are going to get messy here, and that’s OK. Chef Johnny Hernandez designed the Chilaquiles Burger to be fully enjoyed. This delicious burger adds crema, queso fresco and black beans and tops it off with tortilla strips, a fried egg and salsa verde. ($9.75) 403 Blue Star St. #105, (210) 635-0016.

THE HANGOVER CURE | LUCY COOPER’S ICE HOUSE y

Science argues that only time can help us recover from late nights and too many cocktails, but science never met the Krispy Kreme Brunch Burger. This Insta-friendly bad boy — a beef patty stacked with bacon and cheese then sandwiched between two glazed donuts — may be enough to make us believe in the curative powers of salt, grease and sugar. Or does it simply distract us from the pain? There’s only one way to find out. ($14) 16080 San Pedro Ave., (210) 462-1894.

THE WEST SIDE CONTENDER | PAPA’S BURGERS

BY LEA THOMPSON PHOTOS BY ERIK GUSTAFSON 50 CURRENT | February 13-26, 2019 | sacurrent.com

Robert Walker’s passion for great food and customer service have made Papa’s Burgers and its #3 Bacon Cheeseburger combo — a grilled beef burger made with fresh lettuce, tomatoes, onion, pickles and American cheese — West Side institutions. Walker personally selects fresh meat and produce for the burgers daily, and he ensures that every customer is personally greeted. “Every little detail, to the burger and experience is exemplified,” Walker said. “People will return if the product is good, but they’ll remain loyal if the service is amazing. We love this neighborhood and the fact that we’ve been embraced by West Side community.” ($10.95) 709 Old Highway 90 West, (210) 336-7743.

THE SNACKER | SANGRIA ON THE BURG

When you’re hungry but not looking to devour a small herd of animals, sliders can come through in the clutch. And Sangria on the Burg’s buffalo chicken sliders — filled with crispy chicken, fresh lettuce and tomato, buffalo sauce and blue cheese — are made even more savory by ranch dressing with a jalapeño bite. Each order comes with your choice of a house salad or veggies, making for a satisfying meal without quite so much excess. ($12) 5115 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 265-3763.

THE I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS IS FROM A FOOD TRUCK | CURB FOOD TRUCK

Chef Jose Benitez launched his food truck with a line of impressive and flavorful burgers in 2017, but his shrimp burger stands out from the pack. “I’m classically French-trained,” Benitez said. “I wanted to make “something different and fast-casual, but something that San Antonio [customers] would understand and not be afraid to try.” Nailed it. The crispy, freshly made shrimp patty is embellished with fresh green cabbage, cilantro, green onions and sesame seeds, all enveloped by a locally made brioche bun. $9.75 (210) 902-5066.

THE BAR BURGER | THE ESQUIRE TAVERN

It can be hard to find a bar burger that rises above the status of serving as liner for your stomach. You can reach higher, though, so much higher with the Esquire’s bison burger, made with Thunder Heart’s organic bison, pickled red onion, house remoulade, white cheddar and a sesame

bun. If you’re really looking to take your order over the top, add a fried egg plus a side of Chef Brooke Smith’s chili-salt fries and a nice Old Fashioned. ($16) 155 East Commerce St., (210) 222-2521.

THE HERBIVORE | EARTH BURGER p

the Bates Special — a single beef patty burger served with crinkle fries and a drink for under $7. You can always add cheese, bacon and jalapenos if you’re feeling extra. Yes, add-ons cost more, but you’re worth it. ($6.70) 2323 N St. Mary’s, (210) 735-1955.

Whether you’re a vegetarian or simply cutting back on red meat, you still have taste buds that deserve good things. So why not try a veggie burger from a place that makes its own patties instead of shaking them out of Boca box? Try the classic Earth Burger as a good starting point, but check out the really cool jackfruit BBQ sandwich on a return visit. (Earth burger: $6.50; Jackfruit BBQ $5.50) 818 NW Loop 410, (210) 254-1391.

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There aren’t many places that can simultaneously offer tasty burgers, live music performances, a play area for children, dozens of regionally brewed beers and a car wash too. Yet, somehow, the Cove pulls it off. The house Swiss burger, topped with sauteed mushrooms, onions, greens and sriracha mayo, may be the best option when craving a burger in to an environment that can accommodate the whole family, regardless of age, attention span or food preferences. ($12) 606 W. Cypress St. (210) 227-2683.

Chef Stefan Bowers has updated the classic 44 Farms Burger to offer 8 oz. of sustainable quality Texas beef, but it’s still made with the same fun, accessible spirit. The burger — stacked with American cheese, bacon, shredded lettuce, onion, pickles and a tangy and spicy “secret sauce” (is there ever any other kind on a burger?) — is served with a side of crispy cottage fries. This is the burger that every Big Mac aspires to be: an affordable dish with good taste. ($12) 1024 S. Alamo St., (210) 354-1024.

THE PEACEMAKER | CHESTER’S

We’ve all been there. You’re starving, your group can’t agree on a place to eat and you’re headed for a food-related meltdown. But all you need is one phrase: “We’re going to Chester’s.” If you live in San Antonio, chances are you’ll find a location nearby. Beyond the local chain’s ubiquity, its no-nonsense green chili burger delivers a juicy patty embellished with a flavorful New Mexico bite. Chester’s also serves more than 200 varieties of beer and wine, so it’s a win for everyone. ($6.99) 1006 NE Loop 410, (210) 805-8600.

THE DRIVE-THRU CHAMP | BURGER BOY

There are countless fast-food options in San Antonio, but the Burger Boy is a local classic for a reason: it’s delicious. Order from the comfort of your car, or step inside for

Yes, Hopdoddy’s is an Austin-based enterprise, but its San Antonio outpost has earned a local loyal following. The house shroom burger showcases Texas flavors with grilled Angus beef, goat cheese and mushrooms. And adding mayo, basil pesto, fresh lettuce and tomato to the mix? We’re here for it. ($8.95) The Rim, 17623 La Cantera Parkway #101, 210 434-2337.

THE FAMILY FRIENDLY CHOICE | THE COVE

THE KEY WEST | HAWX BURGER BAR

Eating healthier options doesn’t require you to sacrifice flavor. Case in point: Hawx’s juicy grilled chicken burger, which comes with pineapple salsa, lettuce, sliced avocado, low-fat mayonnaise and cucumbers. It’s a refreshing red-meat alternative for those who need it — or crave it. ($8.95) 2603 Vance Jackson Road, (210) 320-4299.

THE LATE NIGHTER | CHARLIE BROWN’S NEIGHBORHOOD BAR & GRILL

Much of the city may shut down by 10 p.m., but this neighborhood bar keeps the party going with karaoke, drinks and its Spicy Burger. The casual, not-too-incendiary sandwich features a beef patty and two slices of Texas Toast with caramelized onion, jalapenos, bacon, pepper jack, chipotle ranch and Tabasco hot sauce. Obviously, you can always add more hot sauce if you’re feeling the burn. ($10.75) 11888 Starcrest Dr., Ste. 101, (210) 496-7092.

sacurrent.com | February 13-26, 2019 | CURRENT 51

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El Campo’s new album is a beautiful, powerful rumination on the meaning of a life BY JAMES COURTNEY

egardless of a person’s profession or lot in life, regardless of their disposition or the details of their deeds (done or undone), regardless of how wide their circle swings or how far down their passions root — for everyone, always and everywhere, cancer is a special kind of unfair. It is a personal meteor, a god’s sudden arrow, an opening carved into the soul’s tightest nerve. A diagnosis produces a cataclysm of emotional reaction and rational preparation, rearranging the very circuitry of any life — the stable and the scattered and every station between. A person might feel paralyzed, constricted, confined and deflated when learning they have any variation of the disease that’s claimed so many. For all the bucket-listers living in the eternal moment, there are also those who succumb to hopelessness and despair. For his part, Jerid Reed Morris, the singer-songwriter at the helm of Austin-San Antonio band El Campo, made an album. Morris was diagnosed with Stage 4 Hodgkin’s lymphoma (with bone marrow involvement) back in September 2017, and assembled a full-length recording during and after the eight-month ordeal. He finished chemotherapy last February, and by April, was declared in remission.

Meet You There El Campo, readers may know, doesn’t gig too frequently. The four-piece did, however, release one of the best local albums of 2015 with its debut Remember — a shimmering, moody, harmony-laden and lyrically lush alt-country gem. But, when I got on the phone with Morris earlier this week, after our respective families had gone to bed, it was to talk about the new stuﬀ and the impossible place from which it was created. The new album, titled Goldun Stair, Meet You There, features 11 songs and became available on streaming platforms February 7. A vinyl release will follow on February 21. It is, as one might well imagine, an emotionally taut album, deeply personal for Morris, who wrote it over the course of his battle with Hodgkin’s. Compared to earlier El Campo

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A Reckoning at the Goldun Stair

Courteay of El Campo

efforts, the record is less produced, and it features less harmony and instrumental adornment. (Although it’s still fit to be filed in the romantic and cerebral alt-country category.) There’s an appropriately threadbare, stripped down feeling that matches the vulnerability its writer was experiencing. But it’s beautiful — sonically and lyrically — in a rather excruciating kind of way. At the start of our interview, I made it clear that Morris was under no obligation to discuss his ordeal in detail, but he had no intention of shying away from the truth of the matter. “There’s an internal conflict for me, where it seems awkward, based on how I was raised, to talk about it,” he said. “But, as I’m writing these Instagram posts telling the story of how I wrote the album ... it reminds me of the way people testify in church ... speaking to their own struggles in faith and in life ... and I just have to overcome this sort of Irish reluctance to talk about myself, because the experience I had was so moving.”

Waiting for the Results Compounding the weight of his diagnosis was the fact that Morris’ father passed away when he was only five from the very same kind of cancer. Thus, Morris, and his children by extension, associate the name of the disease with absence, unfinished business, with the reason his dad and their grandfather aren’t around. “For that term to be applied to my life was really, really difficult for my kids, and of course, crazy for me,” Morris said. The diagnosis put him on a schedule dominated by appointments and tests and treatments. “There’s was this feeling that I was just going down a list and I was either going to survive or not survive. But the other thing is that you

never know how it’s really going ... because you feel like shit all the time from the chemo.” As he braved the beginnings of his battle, Morris found odd solace in his lack of say. “You have all these processes happening in your body that will determine if you’re gonna get better or worse and potentially live or die,” he said. “And whatever it is is already happening. You just wait for the results. That’s a diﬃcult feeling, but it also made me feel better, because I knew that whatever was gonna happen was out of my control.” “The only part I could control was my attitude about it,” he added.

Unburdened by Time It wasn’t until about a month into everything — the night before his first PET scan that would tell him how the treatment was working (or not) — that Morris turned to songwriting. “I think I sat down to document this thing, and I really didn’t know how that was gonna go, or what it was gonna be about,” he said. “In a lot of ways, it is about, like a lot of other El Campo songs, my family that I have been estranged from since I was 17 or 18 ... trying to understand myself based on the things I do know and remember about those people.” In that first solitary writing session, the song “Goldun Stair” — in many ways, the emotive and conceptual core of the album — was born. “Once I decided to write about it and say what I was feeling and what I was afraid of, it all just happened,” Morris said. “I was writing all of the songs simultaneously, which is a prolific output and not at all typical for me.” What will strike any close listener to the album, above and beyond its breathtaking courage and easygoing sonic artistry is the emotional nuance, unflinching earnestness and observational detail in the lyrics. Apart from the aforementioned 59 6

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“It ended up being about people that I love,” Morris said, reﬂecting on the recording. “I mean, it’s about being sick, and about feeling bad, and about being scared ... But it’s also about ... you know, you start to feel magnanimous when you’re vulnerable ... So a lot of it was ... about how I felt about everyone, including myself.” On Goldun Stair, Morris draws a meandering-yet-meaningful line between past and present things, events, people and selves. He contemplates his wayward family and his childhood indoctrination in a fundamentalist brand of Christianity (it was “like a cult”) and his homeschooling that, almost accidentally, included his discovery of American literature, which felt more “important to what [his] life would be than the Bible.” Also mixed in are his family, his partner and his children, and his condition. He imagines himself and his own death from multiple perspectives, trying to grasp at both the absurd vastness of a life and the precious meaning that life takes on in the face of — and especially after — death. “It [wasn’t] really a question of mortality, but more so that I didn’t want to

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have to abandon my kids like my dad had to abandon us,” Morris said, trying to put words to how he felt during the process of creating the album. “That was the driving impetus: all these people of my life ... there was an urgency to say something to all of them, and I deﬁnitely had that in the forefront of my mind the whole time I was writing,” he explained. “It was really, for me, the fear that the meaning of my life would be lost on the people I love. It’s not a fear of going away, but a fear of no one really paying attention or knowing what you meant, what your life meant, in particular to the people you care about.” Morris and his bandmates, who are also his “very best friends,” cut the album quickly after he received news that his cancer was in remission. He didn’t want to take any chances at leaving it unﬁnished in event his health should take any unexpected turns. But, so far so good on that front. He’s back to his normal weight and regained a full head of hair. He’s also excited to perform the songs on Goldun Stair, Meet You There and proud of how it turned out. But, with the air of a man who has confronted himself and decided to create something meaningful, who has seen the worst and discovered the best in the process, he’s not too worried anymore about exactly how his music will be received. “I am just trying to inhabit something that is as much my own as it can be,” he said. “At the end of the day we all want to say, ‘Hey, I was here.’” And, in this album, Morris has found a thoughtful, nuanced, and truly impactful way of saying that and so much more. El Campo had a show Thursday, February 7, to celebrate the online release of Goldun Stair, Meet You There and are likely to schedule a performance for the vinyl release of the album. For more information on the vinyl-release show and the band, visit facebook.com/somoselcampo.

6 57 “Goldun Stair,” the lyrics on standout tracks “Red on Yellow, Kill a Fellow,” “The Prettier of Two Sisters,” “In Indian Blankets” and “In Absolute Superlative” all do a masterful job of blending memories and genuinely heartrending pleas to be understood or forgiven with stark details of Morris’ treatment and his feelings about it. The eﬀect is like a lucid, immediate and raw fever dream, a cautious and openhearted dance with the light of the beyond, and a reckoning all at once. The narrative here is presented in fragments, operating with the same logic as memory, colored by emotion and unburdened by the concept of linear time. It’s hard to imagine anyone with a pulse not being moved by this album.

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you’ll also find plenty to like on last year’s Thunderbolt, an album full of odes to roadies, Vikings and vampires — along with a tribute to Motorhead called “They Played Rock and Roll.” Since the band its swinging through as part of a 40th anniversary tour, it’s also a sound bet they’ll dig deep into their voluminous back catalog. $35-$39, 8pm, Vibes Event Center, 1211 E. Houston St., vibeseventcenter. com. — Sanford Nowlin

SAMMY MILLER AND THE CONGREGATION p

Wednesday + Thursday, February 12–13 Julliard-schooled, Grammy-nominated and jazz critic-approved, drummer-bandleader Sammy Miller is a man on the rise — and the sky’s the limit. Miller and his ensemble the Congregation released their self-titled debut back in 2017 and have been winning fans with effusive, often ebullient live shows ever since. With his mission to “put the generosity back into jazz and bring art back to the people,” Miller is a breath of fresh air and an eager gadfly in the jazz milieu, which can sometimes forget, weighted down by its own reputation as perhaps the American musical form, how fun, playful and uplifting it can be. In one of its finest offerings in recent memory, the swank Pearl club Jazz, TX will host Miller and company for a two-night stint. If you plan to be one of the lucky ones in attendance, act fast because tickets are flying for these shows. $25, 8:30pm, Jazz, TX, 312 Pearl Pkwy, Building 6, Ste. 6001, (210) 332-9386, jazztx.com. — James Courtney

Courtesy of Cannibal Corpse

LEANN RIMES 5

Courtesy of Saxon

Friday, February 15

Leann Rimes is a badass. The singer-songwriter is one of the few artists who’s had mega-hits in multiple genres yet continues to approach music in new and interesting ways. Instead of staying safely nestled between pop and country, Rimes has ventured out and has included elements of alt-rock, jazz and folk. Headed to Gruene Hall on the aptly titled One Voice, No Boundaries Tour, Rimes’ voice is so big that

SAXON L

Friday, February 15

Courtesy of Leann Rimes

whatever genre she’s in, she makes it her own. $59.50, 7pm, Gruene Hall, 1281 Gruene Rd, New Braunfels, (830) 606-1281, gruenehall.com. — Chris Conde

Courtesy of Sammy Miller and the Congregation

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San Antonio loves Saxon. And vice versa. As stalwarts of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal that roared out the U.K. in the ’80s, Biff and the boys remain a solid draw in this metal-obsessed town. Case in point: on its recent U.S. tour with fellow Brits UFO, Saxon was the supporting act in every stop — except the Alamo City, where it headlined. In contrast to other bands of its era that segued into pop (Def Leppard) or proggy hard rock (Iron Maiden), Saxon’s largely stuck to the kind of anthemic, riff-driven chug that made songs like “Denim and Leather,” “Wheels of Steel” and “Strong Arm of the Law” genre classics. And if you dug ’em back in 1982, chances are

THE DECIBEL MAGAZINE TOUR W/ CANNIBAL CORPSE T Sunday, February 17

With 14 albums out since its 1988 formation, it’s safe to say that Cannibal Corpse has outlived the majority of its death metal counterparts from that era. While the band delivers pummeling waves of distortion and screams, its dynamic songwriting helps it stand out from the pack. From abrupt tempo changes to unexpected melodic riﬀs thrown into the middle of a barrage of blast beats, Cannibal Corpse have continued to keep its brand of death metal interesting all the way up to the release of 2017’s Red Before Black. Catch them as they return to the Alamo City with a slew of extreme metal practitioners you won’t want to miss. $28.50$33, 6pm, Alamo City Music Hall, 1305 E. Houston St., alamocitymusichall.com. — CC

JUICE p

Monday, February 18 One part The Weekend, one part John Mayer, the music of Boston-based Juice falls somewhere between pop, folk, R&B and blues. Formed in 2013, the seven-member group produces the kind of pop music you could easily hear on like a Disney movie, which is to say it’s family friendly. But don’t let the approachability fool you. Juice packs a punch. Plus, the quality of the band’s musicianship and songwriting are testimony to its potential staying power. $10-$45, 8pm, Sam’s Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com. — CC

Courtesy of Juice

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Courtesy of Cypress Hill

$20, 7pm, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com. — JC

Saturday, February 23

PISSED JEANS p Friday, February 22

Thom Jackson

REVEREND HORTON HEAT L

Pennsylvania-based Pissed Jeans’ music is just cohesive enough to not be trash. It’s noisy and abrasive at times — sounding like a bunch of dudes slamming their instruments around in a room — but somehow the band’s repetitive riﬀs and ability to stay on beat give the proceedings a curious, psychedelic edge. If you close your eyes while listening, you can almost see a bunch of angry puppets banging instruments. There ya go: Pissed Jeans is angry puppet rock, and we’re about it. $12, 8pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 841-3771, papertigersatx.com. — CC

One of the most iconic Latin groups to contribute to the hiphop genre, Cypress Hill are living legends. The Los Angeles-area outfit got its start in the early ’90s, differentiated by frontman B-Real’s recognizable nasal tone. By the time of the 1993 release of the single “Insane in the Brain,” the band was moving millions of units and owning the airwaves. Beyond its popularity, though, Cypress Hill are notable for being one of the first groups in the genre to showcase Latin culture to suburban youth. The group is headed to the Aztec Theatre with Hollywood Undead. $34-$50, 6:30pm, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com. — CC

POST ANIMAL p

Tuesday, February 19

Texas boy and hillbilly hellhound Reverend Horton Heat is bringing his posse to town. Heat and band are notorious far and wide for a high-octane fusion of country, blues, rock, swing, surf and punk. The Reverend, who’s been maniacally trucking along since the mid-1980s, is considered to be a pioneer, in fact, of the modern rockabilly sound. Last December, the man released his 12th studio album, Whole New Life, which follows up 2014’s REV (perhaps the best album of the band’s career). The new release marks a more optimistic lyrical turn, which may indicate the ol’ Reverend is softening up a bit as he ages, plus it includes a couple changes to the outﬁt’s lineup. Whether you go for new stuﬀ or the old, there’s nothing quite like the madcap delirium and instrumental acrobatics of a Reverend Horton Heat show. Even for those who wouldn’t consider themselves rockabilly fans, this crew consistently puts on a show that demands to be experienced. $5-$10, 7pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 841-3771, papertigersatx.com. — JC

WEST COAST HIGH W/ CYPRESS HILL + HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD L

Saturday, February 23

Sub Pop Records

Chicago's Post Animal is a psychedelic rock six-piece that’s charted a diﬀerent musical course than most of its contemporaries. The band’s music incorporates elements of math rock (especially in its frequent tempo shifts), some harder edges borrowed from metal and a ritualistic vibe that feels more raw and immediate than the spacey, new age-y bullshit you hear bands pulling these days. One brief visit to postanimal.bandcamp.com and sampling of the band’s latest album, When I Think of You in A Castle, should be enough to pick up a ticket. And, as if the heady and full-to-bursting sonic summoning of Post Animal wasn’t enough, Ron Gallo, founder of Philadelphia-based garage punk act Toy Soldiers, will open the evening, playing from his four solo albums, including 2018’s Stardust Birthday Party. Dig Gallo’s music at rongallo.bandcamp.com. $15-$17, 9pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 841-3771, papertigersatx.com. — JC

BAS 5

Thursday, February 21 You know you’re onto something as a rapper in today’s hip-hop landscape if you get a co-sign from J. Cole. The rapper’s name has become synonymous with what older heads would refer to as “cred.” Which is to say, everyone knows Cole isn’t about playing games or chasing fads and frills — he’s about the art of hip-hop. Queens-based and Paris-born emcee Bas not only has Cole in his corner, but he’s got the ultimate co-sign: Cole added him to his Dreamville label back in 2013. Since then, Bas has worked hard, releasing three LPs that showcase his technical skills as a rapper, his command of storytelling modes and his penchant for chasing big concepts. His most recent work is 2018’s Milky Way, but the album before that (and perhaps his best), Too High to Riot, gives its name to the tour that will bring this young star-to-be to SA. Head to dreamville.com to check out Bas’ music and get yourself properly pumped for this show.

Courtesy of Bas

Polyvinyl Records

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BY SHANNON SWEET

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 14 ALAMO CITY JAZZ SERIES: JONATHAN BUTLER AND BILLY RAY SHEPPARD

Treat your honey to a night of cool jazz and hot lovin’ at the Valentine’s Day installment of the Alamo City Jazz Series, featuring South African guitarist Jonathan Butler and San Antonio smooth jazz saxophonist/mainstay BillyRay Sheppard. Butler had a crossover contemporary pop hit with the Grammy-nominated “Lies” and has continued to weave between jazz, R&B and worship music. Together, these two creators may get you in the mood for improvising rhythms in the bedroom. $52.50-$65, Empire Theatre, 8pm

Courtesy of Anitra Jay

ANITRA JAY L

Saturday, February 23 Anitra Jay is a Houston-based singer-songwriter whose managed to create a buzz for herself with great press and a recent TV show song placement. On the 23rd, she’ll bring her estimable talents to a relatively new venue in town. This is a show to be excited about. First, because Jay is one hell of a performer. And, second, because we predict — if our crystal ball is working the way it usually does — this might be one of the last times you can catch her in such an intimate setting before she moves on to (literally) bigger things. Jay’s sound, which could be casually described as acoustic soul, begins with her experiences singing in church. And, from there, as evidenced on her recorded output, including her newest album Crown and Glory, Jay mixes in elements of R&B, spoken word poetry and pop. Playing live with only a percussionist to accompany her, Jay is able to move a crowd with the emotive range of her voice and keep them enthralled with the striking depth of her compositions. Preview some of her work at reverbnation.com/anitrajay.

But trust us when we say that her work is best experienced in the live setting, where it truly has room to soar. Free, 8:30pm, Bar 301, 23567 W. Interstate 10 Frontage Rd., (210) 455-9576, bar301.com. — JC

METRIC + ZOÉ p Tuesday, February 26

How I didn’t get caught smoking weed at the Pearl Stables during the 2013 Metric show is beyond me. But hey, I’ll take the W, because the band’s dynamic indie-pop sound was even more fun with a little bit of THC in my system. Anyway, Metric is returning to the Alamo City for a co-headlining tour with Zoé, who last year was nominated for three Latin Grammys, including Best Alternative Music Album, for Aztlán and Best Alternative Song for the single “Azul.” The 27-city tour kicked off February 11 in Cleveland and will truck through Brooklyn, Atlanta, Los Angeles, Chicago and more. But not before stopping in the Alamo City for a show at the Aztec Theatre. $40.50-$76, 8pm, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., theaztectheater.com. — CC

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 15 VALENTINE’S SUPER LOVE JAM

What’s more romantic than spending V-Day with the one you love snuggled on a bearskin rug in front of a roaring ﬁre? The answer, of course, is going out the next day for a night of throwback R&B groups that will make you want to get it on all over again. This stacked bill includes Zapp, famous for the funk anthem “More Bounce to the Ounce”; Melvin Riley, frontman from Ready for the World; and the Jets, a family pop group later covered by Britney Spears. Add some other Golden Age hitmakers and you’ve made the day after Valentine’s Day even sexier. $37-$57, Alamodome, 7:30pm

DEVOTIONAL: THE DEPECHE MODE EXPERIENCE

Not only content with sounding exactly like Depeche Mode at their peak, Devotional’s commitment to accuracy extends down to the smallest detail. Not only does the lead singer rock a bare torso, fog machines will go full blast and lasers will splash moody colors around the venue, making you feel like you’ve stepped back into the Reagan era. $16-$100, Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm

BRAD PAISLEY

Even though Brad Paisley crossed over to non-country fans with “Accidental Racist,” a duet with LL Cool J, he’s remained a bona ﬁde member of the country pantheon. His solo hits, trophy room full of awards and duets with C&W royalty, including Dolly Parton, Carrie Underwood and Keith Urban, leave little doubt where his musical loyalties lie. $20-$200, AT&T Center, 7:30pm

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 17 EL MARDI GRAS 2019

Justin Broadbent

Instead of making that long journey to the Big Easy to celebrate Fat Tuesday, why not bring that French Quarter ﬂavor to San Antonio? This local celebration serves up a packed day of Zydeco jams, Cajun cooking and art paying

Green Room PR

tribute to New Orleans’ most colorful of carnivals. Entry is free, although there’s also an optional $75 VIP pass, complete with complementary eats, drinks and swag. Proceeds benefit Third Coast Charities, a nonprofit that gives back to the local community in the form of education and financial relief to those in need. Free, Paper Tiger, 1pm

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 20 LADY ANTEBELLUM L Lady Antebellum’s signature “Need You Now” has transcended the country genre to become a mainstream hit. But it’s not just the pop hooks that brought the breakup song a wider audience. It’s also full of feels-inspiring country melancholy. $20$200, AT&T Center, 7pm

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 21 SAMMY HAGAR AND THE CIRCLE

Before Guy Fieri and Smash Mouth came along, Sammy Hagar was the original frosted-tipped, big-eating, easy-loving beach bro. While he may have been a less-than-satisfactory replacement for David Lee Roth, Hagar still helped Van Halen stay in the charts during its waning years. And while dishing out more-recent projects, including a restaurant chain and tequila brand, he’s also found time to focus on solo material and lead the Circle. $20-$200, AT&T Center, 7pm

FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 22 TOM PETTY VS. FLEETWOOD MAC TRIBUTE NIGHT

Even though Tom Petty and Fleetwood Mac never had any public feuds (Stevie Nicks actually wanted to leave Fleetwood Mac to become a Heartbreaker), their respective bands the Damn Torpedoes and Nightbird will battle it out to see who reigns supreme. Will the Damn Torpedoes tell their rival “Don’t Come Around Here No More?” Or will Nightbird say “Go Your Own Way?” $12.50-$14.50, Aztec Theatre, 6:30pm sacurrent.com | February 13-26, 2019 | CURRENT

etc S AVA G E L O V E B Y D A N S AVA G E

The Doll I am a 56-year-old heterosexual man, and I have lived with ALS for the past six years. I am either in a wheelchair or in a hospital bed, and I have very little motor ability in my limbs. Like most or all male ALS patients, I still have full sensory ability, including a fully functioning penis. Are there safe websites or groups I can connect with that deal with helping paralytics like me find people who are interested in hooking up? I’m talking about people who have a fetish for paralytics. I know that some people have a thing for amputees; I imagine there’s a fetish for any number of diseases or afflictions. When I was healthy, I was into light bondage. That seems like a redundancy now, but I can still get into dress-up and role-play. I would be cool if someone was into the whole bathing, grooming, dressing thing, and whatever baby-doll fantasy they might have. Hell, I’d be happy if someone just wanted to give me a pity fuck! Realistic About Getting Dominated Or Lustfully Laid

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“I struggled to find any specific online groups with respect to ALS and sexuality,” said Andrew Gurza, a disability awareness consultant and the host of Disability After Dark, a terrific podcast that explores and celebrates the sexual agency and desirability of people with disabilities. “But what RAGDOLL is looking for might not be directly related to his specific disability. It sounds like he is looking to engage with a community of people called ‘devotees.’ These individuals are attracted to people primarily because of their disabilities, and that might be what he is looking for. I know a couple who used a devotee website to find each other, who dated and eventually married.” If you’re open to playing with a devotee, RAGDOLL, Gurza suggests checking out Paradevo (paradevo.net), a website for “female devotees and gay male devotees” of disabled men. “Many disabled people have also set up profiles on sites like FetLife to explore not only their fetishistic sides, but also how their disabled identities can complement and play a role in that,” said Gurza. Now, many people, disabled and otherwise, look down on devotees, who are often accused of fetishizing disability and objectifying disabled people. But people who are exclusively attracted to the able-bodied and/or the conventionally attractive are rarely accused of fetishizing the able and ambulatory or objectifying the facially symmetrical. Which is why it has always seemed to me — and Gurza agrees with me on this point — that if being with someone who is turned on by your whatev-

er-the-fuck is good enough for the able-bodied, it’s good enough for people with disabilities. Provided of course that, able or disabled, we’re appreciated for everything we bring to the table or the chair or the bed. Ryan Honick, a disability advocate and public speaker, doesn’t think you should limit your search to websites aimed exclusively at the disability community. “It’s estimated that one in five people have a disability,” said Honick. “And when I think about how challenging dating can be anyway — disability notwithstanding — my immediate thought is that RAGDOLL shouldn’t exclude 80 percent of the population from his search. So I would encourage him to use some of the mainstream apps — like Tinder, OkCupid, Bumble, or Match — and put what he’s after front and center.” Honick would caution other disabled people that putting your disability front and center — even on mainstream dating apps — is likely to attract the attention of devotees. “RAGDOLL doesn’t seem like he would mind being with a devotee,” said Honick. “But those of us who do mind need to be a little more discerning. I’ve inadvertently attracted a fair number of people with a devotee fetish, and it honestly squicked me out.” Zooming out for a second: Safety is always a concern when inviting a stranger over for sex, RAGDOLL, even for the non-disabled. In addition to attracting the attention of a few good and decent people, devotees or not, your relative helplessness could attract the attention of a predator. So before inviting anyone over, get their real name and their real phone number. Then share that information with a trusted friend — someone who can check in with you before and after a date — and let your potential new fuck buddy know you’re sharing their info with a trusted friend. Second to last word goes to Honick: “Another option, if it’s available to RAGDOLL and he’s open to it, would be hiring a sex worker.” And the last word goes to Gurza: “RAGDOLL shouldn’t resign himself to the idea that he’s a ‘pity fuck.’ His desires as a disabled man have full value and worth. And I want him to know, as a fellow disabled man, that he can have a fulfilling sex life and that someone out there does find him attractive.” Follow Andrew Gurza on Twitter @ AndrewGurza, and follow Ryan Honick on Twitter @RyanLHonick.

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“Shore Thing”— from one side to another. ACROSS 1 “In ___” (Nirvana album of 1993) 6 506, in Roman numerals 9 Breaks down 13 Diminished 15 Youngest woman to serve in Congress, initially 16 “___ for Steve” (Morley Callaghan short story) 17 Coen Brothers movie of 1991 19 Zip 20 Internet annoyance 21 Lazybones 22 Lenny’s friend on “The Simpsons” 25 2007 T-Pain song feat. Yung Joc 28 Garden pests 30 March Madness org. 31 Queen of Quebec? 32 Sandcastle tool 34 “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” disguise 37 Good value, slangily 41 “___ y Plata” (Montana motto) 42 “Tres ___” (“Very well,” in Paris) 43 Bindi and Robert Irwin’s mother 44 Crawl around? 46 Bedazzler item 47 Color categorized as #DA1884 and Pantone 219C and trademarked by Mattel 52 Diamond experts? 53 Bird-related

54 Laissez-___ 56 Tolkien trilogy, to fans 57 Islands off the North Carolina coast, or the theme of this puzzle 62 One in the red 63 Volcanic dust 64 “The Death of Actaeon” painter 65 ___ buco (Italian veal dish) 66 ATM charge 67 Word of the future? DOWN 1 Flash drive letters 2 “___ Carter V” (Lil Wayne album of 2018) 3 Goof 4 Sounding like a clunky engine 5 ___ about (approximately) 6 Every 24 hours 7 Actor Max ___ Sydow 8 “Ew!” 9 Actress Bullock of “Bird Box” 10 Central Florida city 11 City in the Black Forest, when doubled 12 Inspire, as Kondoesque joy 14 Radio features, once 18 It might give you chills 21 “Princess ___” (Gilbert & Sullivan operetta) 22 ___ loading (marathon runner’s strategy)

23 “... partridge in ___ tree” 24 Horned charger 26 Part of SOTU 27 “Because Freedom Can’t Protect Itself” org. 29 ___ Jam Records 32 Dress up fussily 33 Consenting vote 34 Gold, in Latin 35 Monetary stand-in 36 Onion peels 38 Award co-presented by the American Theatre Wing 39 State hwy. 40 Hand down to heirs 44 Food court pizza chain 45 Get a victory 46 Go around, as an issue 47 “The Jungle Book” bear 48 Affirms as true 49 Formal ceremonies 50 “___ shoe fits ...” 51 No, in Scotland 55 Triple Crown category in baseball 57 Ungainly one 58 Take advantage of 59 Actress Vardalos 60 Penn of the “Harold & Kumar” films 61 Show with Ego Nwodim, briefly ANSWER ON PAGE 20

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etc FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY ROB BREZNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): When directors of movies say, “It’s a wrap,” they mean that the shooting of a scene has been finished. They may use the same expression when the shooting of the entire film is completed. That’s not the end of the creative process, of course. All the editing must still be done. Once that’s accomplished, the producer may declare that the final product is “in the can,” and ready to be released or broadcast. From what I can determine, Aries, you’re on the verge of being able to say, “it’s a wrap” for one of your own projects. There’ll be more work before you’re ready to assert, “it’s in the can.” TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to create your own royal throne and sit on it whenever you need to think deep thoughts and formulate important decisions. Make sure your power chair is comfortable as well as beautiful and elegant. To enhance your ability to wield your waxing authority with grace and courage, I also encourage you to fashion your own crown, scepter, and ceremonial footwear. They, too, should be comfortable, beautiful, and elegant. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In 1995, astronomer Bob Williams got a strong urge to investigate a small scrap of the night sky that most other astronomers regarded as boring. It was near the handle of the constellation known as the Big Dipper. Luckily for him, he could ignore his colleagues’ discouraging pressure. That’s because he had been authorized to use the high-powered Hubble Space Telescope for a ten-day period. To the surprise of everyone but Williams, his project soon discovered that this seemingly unremarkable part of the heavens is teeming with over 3,000 galaxies. I suspect you may have a challenge akin to Williams’, Gemini. A pet project or crazy notion of yours may not get much support, but I hope you’ll pursue it anyway. I bet your findings will be different from what anyone expects. CANCER (June 21-July 22): A study by the Humane Research Council found that more than eighty percent of those who commit to being vegetarians eventually give up and return to eating meat. A study by the National Institute of Health showed that only about 36 percent of alcoholics are able to achieve full recovery; the remainder relapse. And we all know how many people make New Year’s resolutions to exercise more often, but then stop going to the gym by February. That’s the bad news. The good news, Cancerian, is that during the coming weeks you will possess an enhanced power to stick with any commitment you know is right and good for you. Take advantage!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Are there two places on earth more different from each other than Europe and Africa? Yet there is a place, the Strait of Gibralter, where Europe and Africa are just 8.7 miles apart. Russia and the United States are also profoundly unlike each other, but only 2.5 miles apart where the Bering Strait separates them. I foresee the a metaphorically comparable phenomenon in your life. Two situations or influences or perspectives that may seem to have little in common will turn out to be closer to each other than you imagined possible. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo basketball star Latrell Sprewell played professionally for 13 years. He could have extended his career at least three more seasons, but he turned down an offer for $21 million from the Minnesota team, complaining that it wouldn’t be sufficient to feed his four children. I will ask you not to imitate his behavior, Virgo. If you’re offered a deal or opportunity that doesn’t perfectly meet all your requirements, don’t dismiss it out of hand. A bit of compromise is sensible right now. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 1992, an Ethiopian man named Belachew Girma became an alcoholic after he saw his wife die from AIDS. And yet today he is renowned as a Laughter Master, having dedicated himself to explore the healing powers of ebullience and amusement. He presides over a school that teaches people the fine points of laughter, and he holds the world’s record for longest continuous laughter at three hours and six minutes. I nominate him to be your role model in the next two weeks. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you will be especially primed to benefit from the healing power of laughter. You’re likely to encounter more droll and whimsical and hilarious events than usual, and your sense of humor should be especially hearty and finely-tuned.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In the mid1980s, a California carrot farmer grew frustrated with the fact that grocery stories didn’t want to buy his broken and oddly shaped carrots. A lot of his crop was going to waste. Then he got the bright idea to cut and shave the imperfect carrots so as to make smooth little baby carrots. They became a big success. Can you think of a metaphorically comparable adjustment you could undertake, Sagittarius? Is it possible to transform a resource that’s partially going to waste? Might you be able to enhance your possibilities by making some simple modifications? CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Mongolia is a huge landlocked country. It borders no oceans or seas. Nevertheless, it has a navy of seven sailors. Its lone ship is a tugboat moored on Lake Khovsgol, which is three percent the size of North America’s Lake Superior. I’m offering up the Mongolian navy as an apt metaphor for you to draw inspiration from in the coming weeks. I believe it makes good astrological sense for you to launch a seemingly quixotic quest to assert your power, however modestly, in a situation that may seem out of your league. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “A freshness lives deep in me which no one can take from

me,” wrote poet Swedish poet Gunnar Ekelöf. “Something unstilled, unstillable is within me; it wants to be voiced,” wrote philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche. In accordance with your astrological omens, I propose we make those two quotes your mottoes for the next four weeks. In my opinion, you have a mandate to tap into what’s freshest and most unstillable about you — and then cultivate it, celebrate it, and express it with the full power of your grateful, brilliant joy. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): According to the Encyclopedia of Occultism and Parapsychology, the word “obsession” used to refer to the agitated state of a person who was besieged by rowdy or unruly spirits arriving from outside the person. “Possession,” on the other hand, once meant the agitated state of a person struggling against rowdy or unruly spirits arising from within. In the Western Christian perspective, both modes have been considered primarily negative and problematic. In many other cultures, however, spirits from both the inside and outside have sometimes been regarded as relatively benevolent, and their effect quite positive. As long as you don’t buy into the Western Christian view, I suspect that the coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to consort with spirits like those.

THIS MODERN WORLD BY TOM TOMORROW

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): A study published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science suggests that people who use curse words tend to be more candid. “Swearing is often inappropriate but it can also be evidence that someone is telling you their honest opinion,” said the lead researcher. “Just as they aren’t filtering their language to be more palatable, they’re also not filtering their views.” If that’s true, Scorpio, I’m going to encourage you to curse more than usual in the coming weeks. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, it’s crucial that you tell as much of the whole truth as is humanly possible. (P.S. Your cursing outbursts don’t necessarily have to be delivered with total abandon everywhere you go. You could accomplish a lot just by going into rooms by yourself and exuberantly allowing the expletives to roll out of your mouth.) sacurrent.com | February 13-26, 2019 | CURRENT

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