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Florida Group Publisher Graham Jarrett Editor in Chief Jessica Bryce Young Editorial Managing Editor Matthew Moyer Digital Content Editor Alex Galbraith Calendar Coordinator Kristin Howard Contributors Gianna Aceto, Rob Bartlett, Melissa Perez Carrillo, J.D. Casto, Ida V. Eskamani, Jacquelin Goldberg, Holly V. Kapherr, Faiyaz Kara, Sarah Kinbar, Seth Kubersky, Jim Leatherman, Matt Keller Lehman, Bao Le-Huu, Anthony Mauss, Leah Sandler, Steve Schneider, Nicolette Shurba, Eric Tegethoff
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13 Organizer Cine Julien at the Bans Off Our Bodies rally | photos (above and cover) by Matt Keller Lehman
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OPD Chief Orlando Rolón announces retirement, COVID numbers tick back up in Florida, Disney goes green with planned Epcot development
36 Q-Burns’ abstract journey
11 Informed Dissent
39 This Little Underground
13 Access denied
BACK PAGES
9 ICYMI
The Alito 5 is signaling that anything goes. The old rules no longer apply. What does the SCOTUS leak mean for Floridians?
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Streaming premieres this week: The Kids in the Hall, Hacks, Our Father and more How Michael Donaldson left global DJing behind to reconnect with music (and life) Local band Answers confound expectation with their heady take on “contemporary classical”
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41 The Week
Our selections of things to do and see this week
43 Free Will Astrology
Your horoscope for the week of May 11-17
43 Gimme Shelter
Adopt spry senior dog Marnie and give her the loving home she has more than earned
45 Savage Love
Open and shut, plus “Ripley’s Believe It or Not!”
47 Classified advertisements
23 Fire starter
Ava MediterrAegean in Winter Park feeds those with a burning desire to feast and be seen
23 Recently Reviewed
Short takes from the month’s restaurant reviews
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¶ Pro-choice people of faith, speak out now If Roe v. Wade is struck down by the Supreme Court, it will be spun as a win for people of faith — but it is not. People of faith are part of the majority in the United States who believe that abortion should be safe, legal and accessible. We are called to create a just world, and we believe advocating for reproductive freedom is a sacred part of that work. The time is now for us to be outspoken and emboldened in our support of abortion access. — Jamie L. Manson, Catholics for Choice
¶ Mickey Mouse should flee Florida Republican Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, the delusional dimwit who actually believes America wants its next president to be a book-burning fascist who is so weak and wimpy that he’s terrified of transsexuals, won the governorship in 2018 by only 30,000 votes. The Disney Corporation employs 80,000 Floridians. You do the math! Best of luck running for president in 2024, Ron the con, after Florida votes you out in 2022. If any state should be known as “the free state” in this “United” States of America, it is my home state of California. After all, one out of every eight Americans is a California resident for a reason! (A multitude of reasons, really.) An idea whose time has come that is worthy of the Golden State and its internationally successful CA-born Disney Corporation is DISNEY WORLD BAY AREA. (“Opinion: Disney should leave Florida. It’s time for DeSanty World,” Dana Milbank, April 22, The Washington Post) If necessary, the California crew of Mouseketeers will move every last piece of Disney World (including Epcot Center) back home from Orlando to California in the dead of night, just like the Mayflower movers surreptitiously relocated the NFL’s Colts franchise from Baltimore to Indianapolis back in 1984. Except no one will feel sorry for FL. If you keep Ron DeathSantis in office, Florida, we Californians will be taking Disney back ASAP. Just saying. You don’t have to like it. We’ll do it anyways. — Jake Pickering
¶ This is a scary moment According to a leaked draft opinion, the Supreme Court is preparing to dismantle abortion rights across America. As a result, 26 states could outlaw abortion, including 13 that have passed “trigger” laws to take effect immediately after the Court overturns Roe v. Wade. This news should set off alarm bells for all Americans. Our fundamental freedoms are coming under attack by a hyper-partisan supermajority on the Court. And this could just be the beginning. But there’s a way to fight back, which is why I’m urging Congress to pass the Judiciary Act of 2021. The Judiciary Act would rebalance the Supreme Court by adding four new seats, giving us 13 justices in total. It’s just what we need to move away from extremely partisan rulings and restore the legitimacy of the Court — and it’s been done before. In fact, Congress has changed the size of the Supreme Court seven times already in our nation’s history. A recent poll showed that the majority of Americans support expanding the court again now. It’s past time for Congress to get on board with this crucial bill. — Emma Morgan, Orlando
Send letters to the editor to feedback@orlandoweekly.com.
‘AMERICAN BYE’
BY CLAY JONES
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Hey! COVID-19 is still killing Floridians, Disney is finally building in some shade, Walgreens pays up in opioid case and other news you may have missed last week. » COVID-19 death toll tops 74,000 in Florida Florida has exceeded 74,000 resident deaths from COVID-19, while newly reported cases steadily climb, according to data released Friday by the state Department of Health. The data showed that 74,060 residents had died as of a Thursday count. That was up from 73,830 reported two weeks earlier. Because of lags in reporting, it is not clear when the additional deaths occurred. The new data also showed that 32,981 new COVID-19 cases were reported from April 29 to Thursday, continuing a gradual increase. That was up from 26,534 cases the previous week. Reported new cases were as low as 8,040 during the week of March 11 to March 17.
» Disney is going green in newly released renderings of Epcot revamp Disney has shared concept art for its planned revamp of Epcot at Walt Disney World. The planned World Celebration neighborhood of Epcot will be full of gardens and shade, providing a much-needed break from the Orlando sunshine (strangely, something we rarely see at local parks). The gardens will be set around a central planter in the shape of Epcot’s five-ring logo, each distinct from the others, and plants will be rotated out with the changing of the seasons. The area will function as an outdoor planetarium in the evening, with a focus on a new plaza for festivals and live events.
» Walgreens agrees to pay $683 million in Florida opioid case Nearly a month into a jury trial over the opioid epidemic, Florida Attorney General Ashley Moody on Thursday announced the state had reached a $683 million settlement with Walgreens Co. The pharmacy chain was the sole remaining defendant in a sweeping lawsuit that the attorney general’s office filed in 2018 targeting opioid manufacturers, distributors and retailers. “After four weeks of the state putting on, under oath, into evidence, how Walgreens played a role in this epidemic, toward the end of our case, the white flag was raised, and we were able to begin negotiations in a productive manner. Today is a culmination of that trial,” Moody told reporters at a Tampa news conference. The settlement calls for Walgreens to pay $620 million to the state over 18 years and to make a one-time payment of $63 million for attorneys’ fees, according to a statement released by Walgreens. The agreement includes no admission of wrongdoing or liability by Walgreens.
» Court rejects Florida businesses’ argument that insurance should cover losses from COVID-19 shutdown A federal appeals court Thursday rejected arguments by Florida restaurants and a furniture retailer that insurance policies should have covered losses stemming from shutdowns early in the COVID-19 pandemic. The 34-page decision in four consolidated cases came after a flood of claims and litigation across the country from businesses that had to temporarily close their doors or scale back operations in 2020 because of government orders. A three-judge panel of the Atlanta-based 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that, under Florida law, “there is no coverage because COVID-19 did not cause a tangible alteration of the insured properties.”
» Orlando Police Chief Rolón cites George Floyd protests, COVID19 in retirement announcement After 30 years with the Orlando Police Department, Chief Orlando Rolón announced he will retire this fall. In a letter sent to Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer, Rolón shared that his last day of work will be in August and he plans to officially retire on November 1. Rolón has served as the chief of police since 2018, and was the first Hispanic person to ever hold the role in Orlando. In his letter, Rolón praised OPD officers and also noted the unique circumstances of the last several years, noting his tenure came during the summer of unrest following the police killing of George Floyd and the COVID-19 pandemic. Rolón’s department made the decision to tear gas protestors in Orlando, something he has stood by. In the wake of the protests, OPD upgraded security around their headquarters. In the letter, he says that his force was able to “maintain order and peace without any significant incidents.” orlandoweekly.com
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THE SUPREME COURT OF LOL, NOTHING MATTERS The Alito 5 is signaling that anything goes. Precedent is irrelevant. The old rules no longer apply. BY JEF FREY C. BILLM A N
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f the five Supreme Court justices about to set women’s rights back a half-century:
• Four were nominated by presidents who lost the popular vote, and three of them were confirmed by senators who represented less than half the population. • Three lied under oath to the Senate during their confirmation hearings about considering Roe v. Wade “settled law.” • Two were credibly accused of sexual harassment or assault. • One is sitting in a seat stolen under made-up Senate rules. • Another was rushed through just before a president lost Justice Samuel Alito, seen here remembering the good ol’ days of witch-burning | Photo by Josh Ellie re-election and his party lost control of the Senate. • Another is married to a conspiracy theorist who actively (Coincidentally, there were no women among the 55 are interested — neither state courts nor state constitutional participated in plotting a coup. amendments could block legislatures from setting draconian framers of the Constitution. But there were many men who So let’s not pretend the forthcoming reversal of Roe v. voting rules, gerrymandering to their hearts’ content, and enslaved their fellow humans.) The rights to same-sex marriage, same-sex intercourse, Wade and Casey v. Planned Parenthood has an ounce of legiti- appointing their own presidential electors. That might prove a bridge too far even for this crew. Or birth control and even interracial marriage only emerged in macy, or that a future court should consider it stare decisis the last 60 years. They’re not, by definition, “deeply rooted.” not. Who knows? The times are different! and not overturn it at the first opportunity. They also sprang from the notion that privacy is inseparable But for now, let’s return to the direct threat. Let’s not pretend that Justice Alito’s screed is rooted in the Roe determined that the constitutional right to abortion from liberty. Alito separates them. law, history, science or anything except sneering contempt Since privacy isn’t a right, the states — those always lay in the Due Process clause of the 14th Amendment, which for women’s autonomy. Let’s not pretend that anyone actually gives a shit about says that no state shall “deprive any person of life, liberty, or well-informed and rational members of state legislatures — should make healthcare decisions for you. property, without due process of law.” who leaked it. If you’d like to see where this is headed, look to Louisiana, Beginning in a 1965 decision striking down a Connecticut And let’s not pretend they’re going to stop here. Alito, of course, went out of his way to say they would stop law that banned married couples from using contraception where the legislature is considering a bill that will declare here, to assure us that abortion exists on its own moral plane. — followed by decisions that legalized interracial marriage in a fetus a person from the moment of fertilization — not “None of the other decisions cited by Roe and Casey involved 1967 and contraception for unmarried couples in 1972 — the implantation, just fertilization — and charge women who court interpreted deprivations of liberty to include intru- end pregnancies and abortion providers with homicide. No the critical moral questions posed by abortion.” exceptions for rape or incest, or to save the mother’s life. That’s absurd. And the implication that this decision is a sions on privacy. Roe was the fruit of that tree. So, too, were decisions that (The law explicitly directs law enforcement to ignore any one-off is an obvious lie in two ways. The first is direct: The foundation on which the consti- legalized same-sex intimacy in 2003 and same-sex marriage state or federal court that gets in the way.) That’s not just an abortion ban. That’s also a ban on Plan B tutional right to abortion has existed for the last 49 years in 2015. Alito, however, says there is no right to privacy and, thus, and in vitro fertilization, which causes thousands and thouprotects other civil rights that are now in a very perilous no right to abortion, because it is not “deeply rooted in this sands of fertilized embryos to be discarded each year. place. Or look to Missouri, where Republicans are trying to The second is unimaginably broad. By overturning Roe Nation’s history and tradition” and “essential to our Nation’s figure out how they can not only ban abortion in their state, — one of the most litigated cases of the last century — for scheme of ordered liberty.” “An unbroken tradition of prohibiting abortion on pain but make it illegal to provide abortion services to Missouri no other reason than they really, really wanted to, the Alito 5 is signaling that anything goes. Precedent is irrelevant. The of criminal punishment persisted from the earliest days of residents in other states, too. If you’re wondering how they’ll track down women who old rules no longer apply. This is the Court of LOL, Nothing common law until 1973,” Alito writes — mangling history and citing Lord Chief Justice of England Sir Matthew Hale, a cross state lines, New York magazine’s Intelligencer column Matters. Don’t believe me? In Texas on Wednesday, Gov. Greg 17th-century rape apologist who hanged women he deemed has the spine-chilling answer: “Missouri provided a hint when its state health director testified in the fall of 2019 that Abbott said he wanted to revisit Plyler v. Doe, a 1981 case in “witches.” Per Alito, the only rights “deeply rooted” in history are he’d compiled a spreadsheet of Planned Parenthood patients’ which the court ruled that states must provide a public eduthose that the straight white men who presided over that last menstrual periods.” cation to undocumented immigrants. This is post-Roe America. Republican legislatures are history recognized. What’s changed? “The times are different.” Consequently: The right to open carry your AR-15? going to see how far they can push the envelope, and, until North Carolina Republicans have a pending appeal asking the court to embrace a right-wing fever dream called Essential and deeply rooted! The right to a basic medical its composition changes, the Supreme Court is going to tell “independent state legislature theory,” which courts have procedure? Take them shoes off and get back in the kitchen, them to keep pushing further. rejected for decades. If this one bites — at least four justices lady. feedback@orlandoweekly.com orlandoweekly.com
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Roe’d hard Leaked SCOTUS draft ruling ratchets up Florida abortion debate BY RYAN DAI LEY, NSF
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ACCESS DENIED
Photo by Matt Keller Lehman
SCOTUS just let slip that five of them want to screw every woman in America. (Not like that.) Here’s how this will affect Florida women — and men. BY O RL ANDO WEEKLY ED I TOR S
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f you’re reading this, you’re already aware that a draft opinion on the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization case at the Supreme Court was leaked last week, and it confirmed every progressive’s worst nightmare–slash–thing we all knew was coming: Five of the highest justices in the country are slipping the thin end of the wedge into the right of privacy that has been guaranteed via settled legal precedent for every American since Roe v. Wade. In this issue, we speak to three local leaders in the fight for reproductive rights, report how Florida’s governor and Legislature are reacting, prove that men are responsible for
100% of unwanted pregnancies (really) and give you a list of organizations to which you can donate your time, money and energy. Legislators who voted for this but will continue to make sure their female relatives and sex partners have abortion access: We are coming for you in 2024. Men whose lives took a very different path thanks to abortion than they would have otherwise: Time to be honest with yourself and everyone else. And those of you who told us we were being hysterical when we responded to Trump’s election by saying Roe was doomed: Fuck off into the sun.
leaked U.S. Supreme Court draft opinion that would overturn the landmark Roe v. Wade abortion decision has ignited a sense of urgency among Florida Democrats while drawing praise from Republicans. Authored by Justice Samuel Alito, Jr. and supported by other members of the conservative majority of the Supreme Court, the draft opinion was reported last Monday night by Politico. Chief Justice John Roberts confirmed the following day that the leaked document was authentic. The 98-page draft, if it comes to fruition, would rescind the 1973 Roe v. Wade ruling and allow states to make their own decisions on abortion. However, a news release that accompanied Roberts’ statement Tuesday said the draft “does not represent a decision by the court or the final position” of any of its members. The draft was made public just shy of two months before a new Florida law will go into effect prohibiting most abortions past 15 weeks of pregnancy. Gov. Ron DeSantis last month signed the measure, which will take effect July 1. Roe v. Wade generally has allowed women to have abortions until about 24 weeks of pregnancy. Responding to the U.S. Supreme Court draft opinion Tuesday, DeSantis touted the new state abortion law as “the strongest that Florida has seen in decades” and said the state is prepared to defend it from lawsuits challenging its constitutionality. “We think we’re going to win there, but that is going to be something that we have to do. At the end of the day, it’s a mistake to read the federal Constitution to completely prohibit any pro-life protections. That’s not consistent with the text history structure. I don’t know if that [Supreme Court] opinion is going to be the actual opinion, Roberts said that’s not going to be … final, so who knows what’s going on behind the scenes,” DeSantis said during a news conference in Fort Myers Beach. But state House Speaker Chris Sprowls, R-Palm Harbor, gave a more emphatic endorsement of the draft opinion. “I have long believed Roe v. Wade represents an abuse of power to manufacture law by judicial fiat. I eagerly await the official & final opinion issued by the Court. The leak however, is a stunning breach of trust & lack of honor by the individual responsible,” Sprowls wrote in a tweet. Meanwhile, Democrats braced for what they called a “raid on women’s rights” and quickly organized protests across the state. “We are walking into a post-Roe world. This is the reality that exists for my daughter that never existed for me. It is a very dangerous world that we are living in,” state Senate Minority Leader Lauren Book, D-Plantation, said. Book told the News Service of Florida that Democrats, who are heavily outnumbered in the Legislature, will need voters to rally in support of candidates during the November elections to combat further restrictions to abortion access.
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STATE REP. ANNA ESKAMANI, D-ORLANDO “It doesn’t stop with dismantling abortion rights.” What was your immediate reaction when you saw the news about the leak?
This is really bad and will be devastating to our collective rights, but is also what I expected to happen based on how conservative the U.S. Supreme Court is.
Was there one specific line in the SCOTUS opinion draft that caught your attention?
There are several lines that are super problematic. This is one that really stood out to me: “These attempts to justify abortion thorough appeals to a broader right to autonomy and to defined one’s ‘concept of existence’ prove too much. Those criteria, at a high level of generality, could license fundamental rights to illicit drug use, prostitution and the like. None of these rights has any claim to being deeply rooted in history.” Here Justice Alito is explicitly criticizing cases like Obergefell v. Hodges (which legalized same-sex marriage) and thinks these are not legitimate rights “deeply rooted in history.” We’ve always said that abortion rights were intrinsically tied to other rights like LGBTQ+ equality, and here is a clear example of that. So it doesn’t just stop with dismantling abortion rights. In
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contrast, this is where it all starts — the unraveling of our What is your next concrete move? Any plan personal freedoms. in place yet? This is something that we have been planning and prepping for, for a long time. What we need to do first is make What does this mean for Florida and for sure anyone who needs an abortion can access one. That your constituents? This means that there is no more legal federal firewall means supporting abortion funds, volunteering at health to protect Floridians from anti-abortion extremism coming centers as escorts, and helping to break abortion stigma by sharing our stories and supporting folks making this deciout of the state Legislature. And after a seven-year court battle, Florida just became sion. But then there’s the political fights — I know there are a 24-hour mandatory delay state, meaning that in order multiple protests being planned right now, but I need folks to end a pregnancy in Florida you now have to travel to a to knock on doors with us, come out and help others get clinic, meet with a doctor, and then leave and come back registered to vote. We need to build power and channel our rage into electoral wins in 2022 and beyond. 24 hours later. This means more time off work, more travel needs, even childcare costs for folks who are already parents. So Florida What can an individual do in the short term? is already regressing dramatically when it comes to repro- Where should we focus our immediate enerductive rights and this will only make it worse. gies if we want to contribute to fighting for Now, Florida does have a strong right to privacy in our reproductive rights? state constitution, and I suspect when a lawsuit is filed Support candidates running for the state Legislature who on House Bill 5 — the 15-week abortion ban Gov. DeSantis support you and your values. Due to redistricting, every just signed into law — that it’ll be in state court. But due to single state house representative and state senator is up for recent appointments, our state court is much more conser- re-election — now is the time to get involved and hold your vative now too, and they have not yet ruled on an abortion elected officials accountable. case either.
ORLANDO WEEKLY ● MAY 11-17, 2022 ● orlandoweekly.com
JULIA DESANGLES Co-Executive Director, Florida Access Network
“The future of Florida, and of the country, feels dim.” What was your immediate, visceral reaction when you saw the news?
abortion funds that could involve rideshare, appointment accompaniment, emotional support and more — connect with your local fund to see what they need help with. Finally, folks can be a part of disseminating abortion-affirming and scientifically accurate information to dispel abortion stigma across the country. You can do this by educating yourself on abortion procedures, abortion resources, and normalizing language by following abortion funds online and researching on your own. (Google can be misleading but is a great start!) With this knowledge, we need folks to be having conversations with their families, friends and communities — this work starts at home.
ANNIE JAE FILKOWSKI
My immediate reaction was utter shock that it was made public, but ultimately [I was] not surprised at the preliminary decision to overturn Roe, because repro-leaders across the country have unfortunately been expecting this potential decision. That being said, we continue to feel disheartened and angry because of all of the harm anti-abortion legislation and federal decisions cause to pregnant people in the U.S., specifically Black, immigrant and low-income communities. Additionally, when we talk about a “post-Roe reality,” legally we’re talking about a country where abortion is no longer a legal option. But to be clear, just because something is legal does not make it accessible, and our team at Florida Access Network argues that the United States is already living in a post-Roe reality. In a country where people have to work multiple jobs to make enough money to pay their overpriced rent, people don’t have food to feed their families, public transportation is not a viable option and gas is higher than it’s ever been, paying for an abortion and the travel necessary for their procedures is actively out of reach.
My immediate visceral reaction when I saw the news was an overwhelming sense of numbness and dread. For the first time in my six years of fighting for abortion access, I was at a loss for words and felt like I had been punched in my gut. I was surprised by this reaction, since we knew this was coming. This draft opinion has been the reality of Texans for over six months now, where abortion is a right in name only.
Was there one specific line in the SCOTUS opinion draft that caught your attention?
Was there one specific line in the SCOTUS opinion draft that caught your attention?
To be honest, a lot of things stood out to me. But the fact that Justice Alito referenced such outdated and misogynistic policies from the 13th and 17th centuries to support his claim that abortion should not be legal was very disturbing. No matter how you feel about abortion, a person’s health should drive important medical decisions — not political agendas. Politicians should make sure abortion is safe, legal and accessible, and that’s it.
What does this mean for Florida and your clients in the future?
Floridians’ lives are literally at stake if Roe is overturned. Since the end of the 2022 legislative session, we have been awaiting the 15-week abortion ban that goes into effect on July 1, 2022 [seven weeks and two days from the day this article is published]. Abortions are already inaccessible for the majority of pregnant folks in the U.S. and specifically Florida, where new barriers are on the horizon. Additionally, Florida is now under a mandatory 24-hour waiting period, which means that an abortion seeker needs to receive abortion counseling from an abortion provider and then come back after 24 hours to be able to get the procedure. Clearly, this is another unnecessary barrier for folks who have to take off work, who need to figure out childcare, transportation or lodging, and more. The future of Florida, and of the country, feels dim.
Policy Director at Florida Alliance of Planned Parenthood Affiliates
“I felt like I had been punched in my gut.” What was your reaction to the leak?
Every single time that Justice Alito put the word liberty in quotation marks.
What does this mean for Florida and your patients in the future?
This is devastating for Floridians. The Governor’s mansion and our state Legislature are currently occupied by anti-abortion extremists that are hell-bent on inserting themselves between you and your doctor when making a personal medical decision. Florida’s 15-week abortion ban goes into effect on July 1. That means that Floridians who need an abortion after 15 weeks will have to travel as far as North Carolina (if they can afford it) for this care. This abortion ban will hurt Black and Brown communities, rural communities, LGBTQ+ people and houseless people the most — people with money will still be able to access abortion.
What is your next concrete move?
My biggest priority right now is to make it clear to Floridians that despite this leaked memo, abortion is still legal and that it remains your constitutional right. Planned Parenthood health centers in Florida will continue to provide compassionate and exceptional health care to our communities. If you or someone you love needs an abortion, resources exist to help you. You can visit floridareprofreedom.org/abortionislegalinflorida for up-to-date information on abortion funds, abortion providers and current What can an individual do in the short term? Donate to and uplift abortion funds in your community! An restrictions to accessing abortion in Florida. abortion fund is a collective of people (nonprofit or informal) that make abortion access a reality. We help people pay for abortions Where should we focus our immediate energies and navigate the barriers folks experience along the way. Some if we want to contribute to fighting for reproducabortion funds also provide practical support, which looks like tive rights? coordinating travel, lodging, providing emotional support, transThere is a place for everyone in the fight for reproductive rights, lation services, paying for childcare, food, or gas and providing and not everyone’s role looks the same. From sharing up-to-date appointment accompaniment. There are close to 100 abortion information to driving a loved one to an appointment to donating funds around the country, and every abortion fund is different to and volunteering your time at your local abortion fund (Florida from their structure to the services they offer. Find your local fund Access Network!), to becoming a clinic escort, to registering people to vote, there is no shortage of lanes for you to jump into to at abortionfunds.org. Additionally, people can get involved with volunteer work at support access to abortion.
[continued from page 13] “People need to go and vote. We need the numbers. The reality is, and I’ve gotten a lot of questions today about … will the governor add a further restriction on abortion in a special [legislative] session. We know that the governor can do anything he wants, and the Republican-driven Legislature will follow suit and do whatever it is he is asking for,” Book said. DeSantis has called a special session starting May 23 to address the state’s beleaguered property-insurance system. Rep. Kelly Skidmore, D-Boca Raton, decried the potential Supreme Court ruling’s effect on other Republican-led states that have abortion laws that would be triggered by a decision overturning Roe v. Wade. “Immediately, about 25 states will ban abortion — they have trigger laws in place. So, within days, within hours of the Supreme Court ruling, abortion will be banned in nearly half the United States of America,” Skidmore said. Promising that “the fight is just beginning,” Agriculture Commissioner Nikki Fried, a Democrat running for governor this year, held a rally in Miami to try to energize potential voters. U.S. Rep. Charlie Crist, another Democrat running for governor, said in a statement that the issue will be “front and center” in the gubernatorial race. The Florida Alliance of Planned Parenthood Affiliates held a rally Tuesday afternoon outside the Florida Supreme Court. “We are devastated, we are furious, and we will fight back. This draft opinion is outrageous, and unprecedented, but it is not final. Abortion is still legal in Florida. As of today, it remains your constitutional right,” Stephanie Fraim, president of Planned Parenthood of Southwest and Central Florida said in a statement. But groups that oppose abortion cheered the potential decision. “The state has a compelling interest in protecting human life that is vulnerable, especially at that age. This is a huge day for those of us who have worked almost all of our lives to see this moment happen,” John Stemberger, president of the Florida Family Policy Council, said. DeSantis, who went to law school at Harvard, focused much of his remarks Tuesday on the leaking of the draft opinion, characterizing it as an act of political intimidation. The draft refers to the pending Supreme Court case about a Mississippi law, Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization. That law is similar to the new Florida law that would prevent abortions after 15 weeks of pregnancy. “To have that leak out the way it did was really unprecedented. I think it was really an attack on a lot of the justices. I think it was an intentional thing to try to whip up a lot of the public and to try to make it very political,” DeSantis said.
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MEN ARE 100% RESPONSIBLE FOR UNWANTED PREGNANCIES Abortion is the “cure” for an unwanted pregnancy. If you want to stop abortions, you need to prevent the “disease” — meaning, unwanted pregnancies. So stop trying to control women’s bodies BY GA BRIELLE BL A I R
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’m a mother of six, and a Mormon. I have a good understanding of arguments surrounding abortion, religious and otherwise. I’ve been listening to men grandstand about women’s reproductive rights, and I’m convinced men actually have zero interest in stopping abortion. Here’s why … If you want to stop abortion, you need to prevent unwanted pregnancies. And men are 100% responsible for unwanted pregnancies. No for real, they are. Perhaps you are thinking: IT TAKES TWO! And yes, it does take two for intentional pregnancies. But ALL unwanted pregnancies are caused by the irresponsible ejaculations of men. Period. Don’t believe me? Let me walk you through it. Let’s start with this: Women can only get pregnant about two days each month. And that’s for a limited number of years. That makes 24 days a year a women might get pregnant. But men can cause pregnancy 365 days a year. In fact, if you’re a man who ejaculates multiple times a day, you could cause multiple pregnancies daily. In theory, a man could cause 1000-plus unwanted pregnancies in just one year. And though their sperm gets crappier as they age, men can cause unwanted pregnancies from puberty till death. So just starting with basic biology and the calendar, it’s easy to see men are the issue here. But what about birth control? If a woman doesn’t want to risk an unwanted pregnancy, why wouldn’t she just use birth control? If a women can manage to figure out how to get an abortion, surely she can get birth control, right? Great questions. Modern birth control is possibly the greatest invention of the 16
last century, and I am very grateful for it. It’s also brutal. The side effects for many women are ridiculously harmful. So ridiculous that when an oral contraception for men was created, it wasn’t approved … because of the side effects. And the list of side effects was about one-third as long as the known side effects for women’s oral contraception (“Male Birth Control Study Killed After Men Report Side Effects” National Public Radio, Nov. 3, 2016). There’s a lot to be unpacked just in that story, but I’ll simply point out (in case you didn’t know) that as a society, we really don’t mind if women suffer, physically or mentally, as long as it makes things easier for men. But good news, men: Even with the horrible side effects, women are still very willing to use birth control. Unfortunately, it’s harder to get than it should be. Birth control options for women require a doctor’s appointment and a prescription. It’s not free, and often not cheap. In fact, there are many people trying to make it more expensive by fighting to make sure insurance companies refuse to cover it. Oral contraceptives for women can’t be acquired easily, or at the last minute. And they don’t work instantly. If we’re talking about the pill, it requires consistent daily use and doesn’t leave much room for mistakes, forgetfulness or unexpected disruptions to daily schedules. And again, the side effects can be brutal. I’M STILL GRATEFUL FOR IT PLEASE DON’T TAKE IT AWAY. I’m just saying women’s birth control isn’t simple or easy. In contrast, let’s look at birth control for men, meaning condoms. Condoms are readily available at all hours, inexpensive, convenient and don’t require a prescription. They’re effec-
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tive, and they work on demand, instantly. Men can keep them stocked up just in case, so they’re always prepared. Amazing! They are so much easier than birth control options for women. As a bonus, in general, women love when men use condoms. They keep us from getting STDs, they don’t lessen our pleasure during sex or prevent us from climaxing. And the best part? Cleanup is so much easier — no waddling to the toilet as your jizz drips down our legs. So why in the world are there ever unwanted pregnancies? Why don’t men just use condoms every time they have sex? Seems so simple, right? Oh. I remember. Men don’t love condoms. In fact, men frequently pressure women to have sex without a condom. And it’s not unheard of for men to remove the condom during sex, without the women’s permission or knowledge. It’s called “stealthing.” (Pro-tip: That’s assault.) Why would men want to have sex without a condom? Good question. Apparently it’s because for the minutes they are penetrating their partner, having no condom on gives the experience more pleasure. So … there are men willing to risk getting a woman pregnant — which means literally risking her life, her health, her social status, her relationships and her career — so that they can experience a few minutes of slightly more pleasure? Is that for real? Yes. Yes, it is. What are we talking about here, pleasure-wise? If there’s a pleasure scale, with pain beginning at zero and going down into the negatives, a back-scratch falling at 5, and an orgasm without a condom being a 10, where would sex with a condom fall? Like
a 7 or 8? So it’s not like sex with a condom is not pleasurable; it’s just not as pleasurable. An 8 instead of a 10. Let me emphasize that again: Men regularly choose to put women at massive risk by having non-condom sex, in order to experience a few minutes of slightly more pleasure. Now keep in mind, for the truly condom-averse, men also have a noncondom, always-ready birth control built right in, called the pull-out. It’s not perfect, and it’s a favorite joke, but it is also 96% effective, according to information on plannedparenthood.org. So surely, we can expect men who aren’t wearing a condom to at least pull out every time they have sex, right? Nope. And why not? Well, again, apparently it’s slightly more pleasurable to climax inside a vagina than, say, on their partner’s stomach. So men are willing to risk the life, health and well-being of women, in order to experience a tiny bit more pleasure for like 5 seconds during orgasm. It’s mind-boggling and disturbing when you realize that’s the choice men are making. And honestly, I’m not as mad as I should be about this, because we’ve trained men from birth that their pleasure is of utmost importance in the world. (And to disassociate sex and pregnancy.) While we’re here, let’s talk a bit more about pleasure and biology. Did you know that a man CAN’T get a woman pregnant without having an orgasm? Which means that we can conclude getting a woman pregnant is a pleasurable act for men. But did you further know that men CAN get a woman pregnant without HER feeling any pleasure at all? In fact, it’s totally possible for a man to impregnate a woman even while causing her excruciating pain, trauma or horror. In contrast, a woman can have nonstop orgasms with or without a partner and never once get herself pregnant. A woman’s orgasm has literally nothing to do with pregnancy or fertility — her clitoris exists not for creating new babies, but simply for pleasure. No matter how many orgasms she has, they won’t make her pregnant. Pregnancies can only happen when men have an orgasm. Unwanted pregnancies can only happen when men orgasm irresponsibly. What this means is a women can be the sluttliest slut in the entire world who loves having orgasms all day long and all night long and she will never find herself with an unwanted pregnancy unless a man shows up and ejaculates irresponsibly. Women enjoying sex does not equal unwanted pregnancy and abortion. Men enjoying sex and having irresponsible ejaculations is what causes unwanted pregnancies and abortion. Let’s talk more about responsibility. Men often don’t know, and don’t ask, and don’t think to ask, if they’ve caused a pregnancy. They may never think of it, or associate sex with making babies at all. Why? Because there are zero consequences for men who cause unwanted pregnancies. If the woman decides to have an abortion, the man may never know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation. If the woman decides to have the baby, or put the baby up for adoption, the man may never know he caused an unwanted pregnancy with his irresponsible ejaculation, or that there’s now a child walking around with 50% of his DNA. If the woman does tell him that he caused an unwanted pregnancy and that she’s having the baby, the closest thing to a consequence for him is that he may need to pay child support. But our current child support system is well-known to be a joke — 61% of men (or women) who are legally required to pay it, simply don’t. With little or no repercussions. Their credit isn’t even affected. So, many men keep going as is, causing unwanted pregnancies with irresponsible ejaculations and never giving it a thought. When the topic of abortion comes up, men might think, “Abortion is horrible; women should not have abortions,” and never once consider the man who CAUSED the unwanted pregnancy. If you’re not holding men responsible for unwanted pregnancies, then you are wasting your time. Stop protesting at clinics. Stop shaming women. Stop trying to overturn abortion laws. If you actually care about reducing or eliminating the number of abortions in our country, simply HOLD MEN RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR ACTIONS. What would that look like? What if there was a real and immediate consequence for men who cause an unwanted pregnancy? What kind of consequence would make sense? Should it be as harsh, painful, nauseat-
ing, scarring, expensive, risky, and life-altering as forcing a woman to go through a nine-month unwanted pregnancy? In my experience, men really like their testicles. If irresponsible ejaculations were putting their balls at risk, they would stop being irresponsible. Does castration seem like a cruel and unusual punishment? Definitely. But is it worse than forcing 500,000 women a year to puke daily for months, gain 40 pounds, and then rip their bodies apart in childbirth? Is a handful of castrations worse than women dying during forced pregnancy & childbirth? Put a castration law on the books, implement the law, let the media tell the story, and in three months or less, ta-da! Abortions will have virtually disappeared. Can you picture it? No more abortions in less than three months, without ever trying to outlaw them. Amazing. For those of you who consider abortion to be murder, wouldn’t you be onboard with having a handful of men castrated, if it prevented 500,000 murders each year? And if not, is that because you actually care more about policing women’s bodies, morality and sexuality than you do about reducing or eliminating abortions? (That’s a rhetorical question.) Hey, you can even have the men who will be castrated bank their sperm before it happens — just in case they want to responsibly have kids some day. Can’t wrap your head around a physical punishment for men? Even though you seem to be more than fine with physical punishments for women? OK. Then how about this prevention idea: At the onset of puberty, all men in the U.S. could be required by law to get a vasectomy. Vasectomies are very safe, totally reversible, and about as invasive as a doctor’s exam for a woman getting a birth control prescription. There is some soreness afterwards for about 24 hours, but that’s pretty much it for side effects. So much better than the pill, which is taken by millions of women in our country, the side effects of which (as discussed above) are well-known and can be brutal. If/when the man becomes a responsible adult and perhaps finds a mate, if they want to have a baby, the vasectomy can be reversed and then redone once the childbearing stage is over. And each man can bank their sperm before the vasectomy, just in case. It’s not that wild of an idea — 80% of men in the U.S. are circumcised, most as babies. And that’s not reversible. Don’t like my ideas? That’s fine. I’m sure there are better ones. Go ahead and suggest your own ideas. My point is that it’s nonsense to focus on women if you’re trying to get rid of abortions. Abortion is the “cure” for an unwanted pregnancy. If you want to stop abortions, you need to prevent the “disease” — meaning, unwanted pregnancies. And the only way to do that is by focusing on men, because: Men cause 100% of unwanted pregnancies. Or: Irresponsible ejaculations by men cause 100% of unwanted pregnancies. If you’re a man, what would the consequence need to be for you to never again ejaculate irresponsibly? Would it be money-related? Maybe a loss of rights or freedoms? Physical pain? Ask yourselves: What would it take for you to value the life of your sexual partner more than your own temporary pleasure or convenience? Are you someone who learns better with analogies? Let’s try this one: Think of another great pleasure in life, let’s say food. Think of your favorite meal, dessert or drink. What if you found out that every time you indulged in that favorite food, you risked causing great physical and mental pain for someone you know intimately. You might not cause any pain, but it’s a real risk. Well, you’d probably be sad, but never indulge in that food again, right? Not worth the risk! And then, what if you further found out, there was a simple thing you could do before you ate that favorite food and it would eliminate the risk of causing pain to someone else. Which is great news! BUT the simple thing you need to do makes the experience of eating the food slightly less pleasurable. To be clear, it would still be VERY pleasurable, but slightly less so. Like maybe you have to eat the food with a fork or spoon that you don’t particularly like. Would you be willing to do that simple thing, and eliminate the risk of causing pain to someone you know intimately, every single time you ate your favorite food? OF COURSE YOU WOULD. Condoms (or even pulling out) is that simple thing. Don’t put women at risk. Don’t choose to maximize your own pleasure if it risks causing women pain. In summary: Stop trying to control women’s bodies and sexuality. Unwanted pregnancies are caused by men. The end. orlandoweekly.com
Get involved: Organizations to donate to and volunteer for Access Reproductive Care — Southeast
arc-southeast.org Supporting abortion seekers in Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Mississippi, South Carolina, and Tennessee with access to information, financial support and practical support (rides, etc.) in getting an abortion. Access Reproductive Care envisions a world in which all Southerners have full access to care and support around their reproductive health decisions without biases or barriers.
Florida Access Network
laccessnetwork.org This reproductive justice organization and abortion fund has been doing important work since 1996 as the Central Florida Women’s Emergency Fund. The nonprofit FAN funds abortion care and provides resources and support to those needing an abortion as part of wider goals of radical selflove and collective liberation.
If/When/How
ifwhenhow.org National legal aid reproductive justice organization that mobilizes lawyers to support young, undocumented, gender-nonbinary, and other abortion seekers in the US.
Plan C
plancpills.org Coalition of public health advocates, researchers, social justice activists and digital strategists that provides practical information, resources and access to telehealth providers to obtain abortion pills online in the United States.
Planned Parenthood of SE and Central Florida
plannedparenthood.org With local health centers in East Orlando, Kissimmee and Lakeland, Planned Parenthood continues to be a leading provider of quality and affordable healthcare when needed most, providing a myriad of services ranging from abortions to mammograms to STD testing, as well as referrals to oncologists, obstetricians and other sexual health specialists.
National Mental Health Resources Exhale
exhaleprovoice.org 617-749-2948 Non-judgmental textline for people who have had abortions.
Connect & Breathe
connectandbreathe.org 1-866-647-1764 Partners with Exhale to provide a talkline to better support abortion havers and seekers.
All Options
all-options.org 1-888-493-0092 Provides non-judgmental talkline and other resources for people who have had or are considering abortions. Hotline information provided by the Florida Access Network
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BY SETH KUBERSKY
Las Vegas’ Area15, a collection of immersive interactive experiences, is opening soon in Orlando. But it may arrive minus its star attraction, the Meow Wolf installation Omega Mart The tourism industries of Las Vegas
and Orlando have long been intertwined, with attractions at one destination frequently influencing or inspiring those in the other, from the Hilton’s much-missed Star Trek Experience (the spiritual ancestor of Star Wars: Rise of the Resistance) to the Strip’s fantastic new Flyover flight simulator by the creator of Disney’s Soarin’. So when I heard real estate developer and Burning Man devotee Winston Fisher was building his second Area15 entertainment complex on 17 acres alongside I-4, I knew I had to pay pilgrimage to the original location during my first post-pandemic visit to Sin City earlier this month. Area15 was by far the highlight of my recent nine-day trip to Vegas, but celebrating the 2024 arrival of its Central Florida sibling, I have to sound a warning: This anticipated project could come to town without its star attraction. Located alongside the I-15 freeway from which it takes its name, Las Vegas’ Area15 is a curated collection of immersive interactive experiences that blur the line between theme park and art gallery. Housed inside a series of massive warehouses with “Does Not Exist” emblazoned on the roof (a cheeky nod to the mysterious mythology of Area 51), the complex is
Omega Mart at Area15 in Las Vegas | Photo by Seth Kubersky
surrounded by a sculpture garden housing massive metal mementos of past Burning Man festivals, including a full-sized retired airplane and Tyler Fuqua’s Iron Giant-esque android Mechan 9; his brother Mechan 11 is already standing watch on the Orlando site. Once inside the main exhibit hall, visitors are free to explore the shops and eateries before entering one of the independent, separately ticketed attractions. The headliner at Vegas’ Area15 — occupying 52,000 of the main building’s 200,000 square feet — is Omega Mart, the second permanent installation by New Mexican art collective Meow Wolf, whose House of Eternal Return in Santa Fe was famously funded by George R.R. Martin. Imagine if a walk-through funhouse (without cheap jump-scares) was merged with an escape room (minus the pressure of a ticking clock) then dosed with satirical anti-corporate surrealism, and you’ll have an inkling of what’s in store for explorers of this one-of-a-kind attraction. Visitors begin by browsing the supermarket’s deceptively cheerful aisles, where the Dramcorp conglomerate offers favorite
household products with a dystopian twist: Look closer at the seemingly familiar boxes and you’ll discover the shelves are stocked with Emergency Clams, Tattooed Chickens, Vegan Goat Pus and, of course, “Zalg” (America’s forgotten vegetable). Soon, you’ll stumble across a hidden portal inside the janitor’s closet or the soda freezer leading to the Factory where Omega Mart’s absurd inventory is manufactured, or to Seven Monolith Village, source of the interdimensional alien element that is Dramcorp’s secret ingredient. Each of OmegaMart’s environments is designed by a different artist, but they all share an interconnected storyline and complementary aesthetics. You might be searching the bedroom of a missing teenager for clues to her disappearance one moment, then scaling a rocky wall inside a candycolored cavern the next, only to emerge into a dazzling forest fashioned from recycled chicken wire. Omega Mart is the type of experience that gives back as much as you invest in it: While I felt I’d only scratched the surface after over three hours inside, one of my colleagues was
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satisfied after an hour, and another exited after 20 minutes. While you can approach it passively, digging into all the mutilayered details is both satisfying and exhausting; to follow the two-hour plot into Dramcorp’s back offices and relive your adventure at home, invest in the $3 employee ID card used for “booping” the numerous interactive touchscreens. Thus far, Meow Wolf’s name has been conspicuously absent from the official information released about Orlando’s Area15. In fact, the only confirmed tenants — Liftoff, a constrained five-minute outdoor balloon ride; and Haley’s Comet, a minute-long indoor zipline — were two of Vegas’ least impressive attractions and didn’t operate often enough to even add kinetic interest. If Meow Wolf isn’t coming here, it’s hard to imagine another anchor that would be as exciting. But either way, Meow Wolf’s installation represents less than half of what Area15 has to offer. No matter what happens with Meow Wolf, here are five other things at Nevada’s Area15 they absolutely must import to Florida: Lost Spirits: A richly themed distillery where you sip strong straight rum in fogshrouded alleyways haunted by sideshow performers. Worth the $50 admission for the entertainment alone, even if you aren’t downing all five included shots. Illuminarium: Dozens of 4K projectors, aided by floor-shaking speakers and scents, transform a 7,500-square-foot room into a garden of Georgia O’Keeffe’s flowers or the African savanna; this delivers what the reviled traveling Van Gogh exhibit at the Orange County Convention Center promised. Wink World: A walk-through automated toy theater from one of the Blue Man Group’s founders featuring fluorescent eye candy, percussive original music and pseudo-pompous narration reminiscent of the former CityWalk occupants. Free parking: Casinos in Vegas are increasingly charging for parking garages that used to be free, but Area15 bucks the trend with ample free lots. Orlando ought to offer the same if it wants to attract locals. Local discounts: Speaking of which, Omega Mart and other tenants give attractive discounts to Nevada residents. Hopefully Orlando’s Area15 will do the same for Floridians, or (better yet) offer annual passes, because I’ll be first in line. skubersky@orlandoweekly.com
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recently reviewed
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EDITED BY JESSICA BRYCE YOUNG
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$10 OR LESS $10-$15 $15-$25
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IMMERSION AT LONDON HOUSE BY CHEF RIKKU Chef Rikku Ó’Donnchü opens his multisensorial, whimsical and macabre tasting menu concept to the public — at least to those who can afford to indulge in one of the priciest dining experiences in town. And an experience it is, all 15 courses worth. The four-hour meal is an eyeopening, fun and educational trip. (reviewed May 4) 7728 W. Sand Lake Road, 407-7340000, londonhouse.life/immersion, $$$$
FRESH&CO The Manhattan import brings its brand of healthy eats to Dr. Phillips with a bevy of bowls, sammies and smoothies. Open daily. (reviewed April 27) 7728 W. Sand Lake Road, 407-734-0000, freshandco.com, $$
FIRE STARTER
DOLCE
Photo by Rob Bartlett
Salads, handhelds, rice bowls and all-day breakfast are offered at this intimate South Eola eatery, but it’s the cakes, crepes and confections that lure guests in. Cupcakes by Cupcake Wars Season 6 champion Jillian Hopke are offered, as are a host of crepes and sweets — the waffle cone stuffed with cheesecake being a solid choice. Happy hour, Monday to Friday from 4-7 p.m., offers great value. Open daily. (reviewed April 20) 500 E. Central Blvd., 407-800-6100, dolcethorntonpark.com, $$
scores when it comes to people-watching, and it swings big with ambitious food and beverage offerings. For instance, the potato mille-feuille ($15): Making it must be a laborious task — buttery sheets of tuber are layered with chopped chives and kefalograviera cheese before being browned to a fall-to-yourknees crisp. This must be what they serve to the gods at the Golden Arches on Mount Olympus. Honestly, I’m not sure I can go back to eating regular ol’ fries. Then again, Ava in Winter Park feeds those with a burning desire I’m a mere mortal, so I probably can. I notice a truffle aioli dip was supposed to be to feast and be seen served with the four flaky blocks, but ours tasted more like a tapenade, not to say it BY FAIYAZ KA RA wasn’t wonderful. Just as wonderful was the dorade tartare ’ve heard more than a few local food folk tan, rope, scattered greenery … “WHAT IS poke fun at the hot new thing in town, THIS?!” My friend startles me out of my ($24), a dish that hasn’t received as much fanfare as others at Ava, likely because it saying she’s more style than substance; reverie as he approaches. “I know, right? It’s like a movie theater.” isn’t set ablaze. The fish is mixed with a that she surrounds herself with rich, pretty poseurs; that she’s a bit of a pyro. While I’ve been standing in line, about 20 people piperade (a colorful sauté of onions, green peppers and tomasome of that chatter about Ava may be true, deep, for a couple of toes representative of the Mediterranean starlet turning heads minutes. the Basque flag) and We have reservaon Park Avenue has made some other resslicked with a chili oil taurant-goers completely forget about the tions, but it’s not AVA MEDITERRAEGEAN made from espelette, grand dame who once strutted her stuff in quite 5 p.m. and the 290 S. Park Ave., Winter Park the pepper celebrated restaurant hasn’t this very space. What was her name? 407-794-9896 in the Basque town Ava’s visuals were styled by OV & Co., opened its doors. The avamediterraegean.com of, you guessed it, the same design house responsible for queue allows us a $$$$ Espelette. I see citrus the trendy, airy aesthetics of restaurants moment to check out kernels in there as from West Hollywood to Scottsdale to the clientele — we see well, and it all swims Miami (where Ava’s big sister, Mila, lives Winter Park’s oldon Lincoln Road). The sweeping curves, money set, an HGTV personality, some in a vinaigrette made from Greek mountain graceful arches and limestone plaster are models, and, uh, some “models” who have tea and oranges. Our Peruvian server lika real sight for sore restaurant eyes. As I eyes on the old-money set (and perhaps study Ava’s natural elements — woven rat- the HGTV personality). No question, Ava CONTINUED ON PAGE 25
ISAN ZAAP Specializing in the infernal and invigorating fare of northeastern Thailand, Isan Zaap has a bevy of delights for those who like it hot and then some. The som tum tray comprises everything from fermented raw pork sausage to Vietnamese bologna to a mound of funky green papaya salad. It’s an ideal introduction to Isan fare, though don’t overlook zingy nam tok, pork rib soup or items from the hush-hush menu (ask for it). Open daily. (reviewed April 13) 4693 Gardens Park Blvd., 407-203-1868, isanzaaporlando.com, $$
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OOTOYA SUSHI LOUNGE Thornton Park sushi joint appeases both sushi purists and roll wreckers with a mix of traditional Japanese fare and a slew of makizushi offerings. Can’t-miss menu items include the bluefin tuna trio, black cod slicked in saikyo miso, and blue crab fried rice. Open daily. (reviewed April 6) 621 E. Central Blvd., 407-930-2002, ootoyasushilounge.com, $$$ n
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[ food + drink ]
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ened it to ceviche without the choclo and sweet potatoes. But it’s hard not to get sucked into the world of tableside flambées when foods are being ignited in ouzo-licked flames all around you. The grilled halloumi cheese ($19), our first foray into Greek lit, was pricey but insipid. The halloumi’s characteristic tangy flavor seemed to have evaporated along with the alcohol; we couldn’t even taste the remnants of the ouzo. Only the sweetness of the orange blossom honey drizzle remained, and $19 is a lot to pay for sweet cheese. It looked pretty on that plate full of coriander seeds, star anise and rosemary, though. The branzino ($55) fared a whole lot better, but at that price, you can’t help but feel you’re mostly paying for the show. The fish, caked in salt, is already cooked when it’s wheeled to your table — the flambée is said to infuse the fish with a pleasant salinity, and that it did. Don’t expect any sides even at that price, though, unless you count the charred lemon it comes with. It’s why we ordered a truffle risotto ($28), cooked at our table in a stone vessel, with the half-rack of medium-rare lamb ($48). If you’re looking for a winning combination at Ava, this is it. In the midst of other tableside theatrics — a Greek salad ($22) was being tossed to our left while an old-fashioned ($16) was being smoked to our right — we dug into marinated chicken skewers ($16). “We shouldn’t have ordered this,” says my pal, and he’s right. Give credit to our server — he really sold it — but unless you’re on a restricted diet, pass on these dry morsels and order anything else. Well, except the halloumi. We indulged in a fair bit of guzzling
— the Gibson ($15), a dirty martini imitating a Greek salad with kalamata olive oil–washed vodka, Martini Ambrato vermouth and “Greek salad” shrub. It’s served with a feta crisp that you bite into before taking a sip. The margarita verde ($15), with its fruity, botanical flavors and orange-habañero spice, brings the fire without the need of any tableside flames. The ilio mule ($16), with mezcal, ouzo, rose cider, strawberry, fennel seed and sundried tomato, was more sweet than smoky. The impressive wine selection is worth poring over — we appreciated being able to order an Etna Rosso by the glass. There is a $40 corkage fee, but if you bring your own bottle and order one from the restaurant, they’ll waive it. Whatever you do, don’t waive your right to dessert. Lead pastry chef Lilith Grace fashions a lovely chocolate fondant ($12), her take on a caramel-filled lava cake, that she serves with a gelato flavored with mastiha, Greek mastic liqueur. As incredible as that cake was, I found myself spooning more of the gelato. The mille-feuille, aka the Napoleon, just so happens to be my all-time favorite pastry, and Ava’s po-mo take ($12) is an absolute stunner. Wafer-thin rounds of phyllo come layered with mascarpone cream, crumbled with almonds, topped with four different berries and squirted with a Lillet- infused berry coulis. It’s a classy ending for a classy joint. Leaving Ava’s transporting environs and re-emerging onto Park Avenue takes a moment of readjustment. Looking into the restaurant from the outside makes us realize just how inviting, seductive and luminescent Ava really is. Luma! See, I knew it would come to me. fkara@orlandoweekly.com orlandoweekly.com
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Beer On: Celebrate American Craft Beer Week at These Local Hopspots
2020 has been a long two and a half years. But nature is finally healing. After many sad shower beers and late-night six-pack DoorDashes, it’s time to get out there and crack open some cold ones for your country. That’s right: Beer ’Merica, our annual craft beer week celebration, is back on May 14th at gorgeous Gaston Edwards Park.
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e’re setting up shop with our favorite local brewers and barkeeps in one of Central Florida’s best neighborhoods to grab a pint. But there’s plenty more to explore and sample around the City Beautiful’s sudsy suburbs and historic districts. So put on your pub-crawlin’ shoes, take in that telltale whiff of malt and hops, and savor the pleasant fizz of settling foam. Here are ten of our favorite craft beer destinations in Central Florida.
The Gnarly Barley An Orlando craft beer icon has stretched its wings and landed at a new home in the beer neighborhood of Orlando beer neighborhoods, Ivanhoe Village. And we’re all better off (and thirstier) for it. “We knew the old Gnarly location was coming to the end of its lifespan when we had this opportunity pop up in front of us, and it was a no-brainer for us to be in a neighborhood we were 28
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already in love with,” Gnarly Barley co-owner Joey Morris says. “We thought it was a perfect pairing.” This South Orlando restaurant and bar became an instant staple in the local craft beer community when FSU alums Morris, Zach Scray, and Trace Pleicones opened their first bricks-and-sticks on South Orange Avenue in 2012. The OG Gnarly Barley made its bones slinging hot sammies and tapping kegs from national and international brewers that didn’t make it down the peninsula often. Ten years later, Morris and company cut the ribbon on their plussed-up Ivanhoe taproom, debuting a fresh smorgasbord of tacos, sandwiches, and other fixin’s to pair with your suds of choice. And while those suds are still front and center at the new Gnarly, as the craft beer scene has grown over the last ten years, so has the team’s vision for their new flagship shop. “GB’s Bottle Shop, our beer bar down the street, is still engaging in the vastness of what’s out there in craft beer, but at Gnarly, we have so many good local options to fill
our draft list,” Morris says. “We can say ‘this is an amazing IPA and it happens to come from Florida’ and feature beers that are super high quality and approachable for everybody.” Plus, Morris and co. setting up shop on the edge of Lake Ivanhoe, among the bars and breweries they helped inspire a decade ago, feels right. And the amazing waterfront views from Gnarly’s patio will pair well with any pint you choose.
The Lucky Lure The allure of this North Orange Avenue watering hole is clear as soon as you crack open your first can on a summer afternoon. This open-air pool room and bar at the northern point of Ivanhoe Village is proof that “craft” doesn’t have to mean “bougie.” Think less exposed wood beams, more found wood paneling. The Lucky Lure was one of the first local craft beer hotspots to kick off its work shoes, let its hair down, and invite you to do the same. “It’s the look and the vibe and the sunsets,” co-owner Amy Smith
says. “Having that big selection of beers is a big plus, too. But most of all it’s about creating a friendly atmosphere, and everyone’s welcome.” And the Lucky Lure has plenty of beers—92 in all, from domestic lagers and local IPAs to West Coast sours and goses. Smith makes sure there are always new suds to sip, rotating her beer list to fit another can in the cooler. The Lucky Lure is also the unofficial coozie capital of Winter Park. That’s because before crowlers, before plastic six-pack can carriers, the Lucky Lure went all-in on canned beer. “It started out because of our beach theme, because it’s easier to buy cans to-go to take on the water,” Smith says, “but the canned industry has grown immensely since we’ve opened. We started out with a handful of beers because cans weren’t readily available. But now they’re everywhere.” That little hiss when you crack a craft beer can isn’t just for fun (although it’s certainly that, too): beer cans keep their freshness longer than bottles due to their vacuum sealing, so hops stay hoppier and lagers stay crisper, longer. So go ahead: make that 3 p.m. Friday office escape to the Lucky Lure. We won’t tell.
The Hammered Lamb
giving us all of the above since they moved into their Ivanhoe location in 2013. “There weren’t a lot of places over here, and we were trying to get people to come over to the area,” owner Jason Lambert says. “Now we’re hitting our 10-year anniversary next January, and everything’s completely changed.” The Hammered Lamb’s covered patio is still perfect for peoplewatching and catching friends up on last night’s shenanigans. It’s been the heart and soul of Ivanhoe for a decade—not to mention an official Orlando City soccer bar, an LGBT space, and a popular spot for local fundraisers. Now it’s a bona fide hophead destination. “When we first opened, we didn’t have any draft beer, then we got one keg cooler that held six kegs. We have 22 taps now,” Lambert says. “I didn’t know about the beer business—I was a liquor drinker. But it’s become such a craze over the last several years that we had to keep up.” For years the Lamb’s bloody mary bar and coffee cocktails have been at center stage on any given Sunday. Today a bevy of central Florida microbrews—including some suds brewed down the street at Ivanhoe Park Brewing—have received co-billing. And of course, there are the Hammered Lamb’s delectable lunch and brunch bites we mentioned earlier, so you can partake in a few pints and have your post-beer munchies brought right to your table overlooking Lake Ivanhoe.
Bacon. Benedicts. Brews. The Hammered Lamb knows that your midday feast is only as good as the big, boozy swig you wash it down with. Luckily for us, this local gem has been one of the best at orlandoweekly.com
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The Hall on the Yard This is a big one—literally. Nine restaurants. Five dynamic event spaces. Three impeccably stocked bars. All under one roof. The Hall on the Yard has quickly become a new center of gravity for the Ivanhood, drawing foodies and beer lovers in for a delectable culinary soiree before spinning them out into Ivanhood’s many splendid breweries and bars. Ivanhoe Village has always been immensely walkable, but the Hall—acting as a linchpin between the neighborhood’s northern and southern strips, from the Lucky Lure to the Hammered Lamb— has truly put the “village” in the community’s namesake. And the Hall’s own aforementioned cuisine is as eclectic as the neighborhood it calls home. Mediterranean mezze-style starters, Jamaican jerk dishes, savory ramen, and plant-based fare: throw in decadent brunch and dessert menus, and your fork’s still only scratching the surface of what the Hall has on its plate.
The Hideaway Bar Sometimes all you need is a juicy cheeseburger, a ginormous TV, and an ice-cold lager. No frills, just big bites and good suds. Luckily, a charming little dive in Winter Park brings all that and a basket of fries to the patio table. The Hideaway Bar has been serving grade-A bar fare and refreshing pints on Virginia Drive since the 1960s. Although it’s no secret 30
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that big moves are in store for the Hideaway—well, across the street to the coming Yard at Brookhaven complex—this local gem’s deepfried soul endures no matter the address. “The biggest thing we want to accomplish is to keep our Hideaway family here,” general manager Tiffani Thomas says. “We’re open 365 days. We feed the neighborhood every Thanksgiving, every Christmas Day. Even though Ivanhoe Village is growing, we’re still keeping that close family vibe.” Shoot pool, play some cornhole, or spin the Golden Tee trackball if you’re feeling spicy. Then, if you’re downright blazing, nosh some of the best hot wings in Orlando while working your way through a cold pitcher—or the Hideaway’s impressive rotation of local craft brews—with your crew. “Over the last six or seven years, I’ve seen our craft beer selection change quite a bit,” Thomas says. “We’re really pushing toward our local breweries, in Orlando like Ten10 and Ivanhoe Park Brewing, but also in Central Florida, South Florida, the Keys. We want to keep local and support local, so that’s changed quite a bit.” Being the quintessential sports dive, fans of every stripe are welcome, but Bucs and Jags should know, with its bright orange-andaqua paint job, Miami Dolphins enjoy home-field advantage at the Hideaway.
Ivanhoe Park Brewing Co. Tapping your foot in line at an Orlando amusement park? It’s a tale as old as time. Sipping great craft beer brewed in the heart of Winter Park? That’s a more novel
concept. Ivanhoe Park Brewing, a neighborhood taproom with big, flavorful brews, raises a glass to historic Orlando while celebrating everything The City Beautiful has become. Case in point: the brewery’s thoroughly modern, malt-balanced Joyland IPA, named after the 1910s water park that once thrilled tourists on Lake Ivanhoe’s shores, and the refreshingly smooth Toboggan Blonde, which pays homage to that park’s signature attraction.
with collabs like Park Hopp’r that make the future of Central Florida’s craft beer scene bright. “I think that craft beer is something everyone gets around,” Closson says. “Tampa has been the Mecca for craft beer, but eyes are turning to Orlando and the Central Florida breweries that are opening up. It’s creating a buzz!”
Sanford Brewing Co.
“To learn this history of another theme park that was here way before Disney was even an idea back in 1910—once we started digging into it, we saw there was a really cool story we wanted to help tell,” co-owner Glenn Russell Closson says.
Did someone say “bar hopping”? Downtown Sanford has become one of Central Florida’s best destinations for pub and bar crawls. And Sanford Brewing Co. has been a great place to start or stop hoppin’ since opening its glass garage doors in 2016.
Ivanhoe Park Brewing has captured what the brewery would have looked like during the Joyland days—reclaimed wood lining its taproom walls; beer flight boards bedecked with dock cleats. And then there’s the pup-approved patio, extending out from Ivanhoe Park’s industrial-chic brewery to literally connect it to the lake and the Joyland of yore.
“We’re thrilled to see what Sanford has become,” Sanford Brewing coowner Bo Hallowes says. “We have people coming into our place from all over the state and even out of state. It’s a great thing to watch the city grow.”
Beer nerd sidebar: put some respect on Ivanhoe Park’s name for including Park Hopp’r Golden Pilsner in its flagship lineup. Any microbrewery that brews this notoriously difficult style at scale knows what they’re doing. What’s more, Ivanhoe Park Brewing is working with their #Ivanhood neighbors, including Gnarly Barley and the Lucky Lure, to launch Park Hopp’r Golden Pilsner to celebrate American Craft Beer Weekly and Beer ’Merica. It’s places like Ivanhoe Park Brewing and the community they’re helping build
Even before the 2010s craft beer boom, downtown Sanford taprooms were beloved for their international beers, pouring cloudy hefeweizens and boozy tripels aplenty. Sanford Brewing continues that tradition with twists on classic German (Klugscheisser Hefeweizen) and Belgian (Prince Gannon IPA) styles, but there’s also the refreshing Peachy Keen Saison, and the nutty, smooth UpTown Brown. If you like craft beer, Hallowes has a brew that will slake your thirst. “Sometimes when you walk into a brewery and they’ve got eight different IPAs and one dark beer—if you don’t like IPAs, that’s tough,” Hallowes says. “We wanted to offer a lot of different styles and tastes. It’s all about being as inviting as orlandoweekly.com
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possible for everyone who comes in.” And if someone in your crew wants to enjoy one of Sanford Brewing’s weekly trivia or live music nights without imbibing, Hallowes and company come in clutch with a wide selection of non-alcoholic craft beers, as well as craft sodas. But Sanford Brewing’s secret weapon has to be its kitchen. It’s rare that local brewpub grub rises to the level of the house suds, but these scrumptious bar bites meet the challenge. Pro tip: try the Philly Mac and Cheese. You can thank us later.
Central 28 Beer Co. The dream of the 2010s beer boom is alive in DeBary. Sitting just off the last SunRail stop in Central Florida, Central 28 Beer Co. has been brewing beers you can throw back—sessionable, balanced, just damn good—since 2015 and retains the spirit from that exciting, brew-it-and-theywill-come era of Orlando craft beer. “My wife and I had been in the industry for some time, myself on the production side, she on the sales side,” brewmaster Geoff DeBisschop says, “and it was something we wanted to do for ourselves. She’s from Central Florida, and there weren’t many breweries here at the time. We found this industrial space in DeBary, and it all came together.” As Orlando continues to grow, DeBary has become a hotspot for restaurateurs and hopheads like the DeBisschops to set up shop, making Central 28’s hometown
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a destination in its own right. DeBisschop had envisioned a production brewery for distributing his supremely quaffable brews in Orlando. Now Central 28 Beer Co. is a crown jewel in the City Beautiful’s latest up-and-coming foodie neighborhood.
feedback is all business—sudsy, delicious business, but business nonetheless.
“I know how to make beer, but just because I want to brew a schwarzbier doesn’t mean I’m going to have customers clamoring for it,” Motorworks head brewer While some local and national Bob Haa says. “You have to be able breweries make their bones to pivot in craft brewing. That’s brewing splashy, audacious hop what sets us apart from the big bombs or beefy stouts, DeBisschop guys.” wants to brew your go-to beers— delicious, true-to-style brews like Speaking of pivots, let’s put some Central 28’s new Trailrider Hazy shine on one of Motorworks’ first IPA. Inspired by the new Florida and greatest audibles: the awardCoast-to-Coast Bike Trail, this winning V-Twin Vienna Lager. hoppy, apricot-infused India pale ale rides the line between bitter and Haa planned to include a more fruity and captures Central 28’s even-keeled Kolsch-style ale in brewing philosophy perfectly. their launch lineup in 2014. But after taking bronze at their first “I make beer for people who Great American Craft Beer Festival, enjoy beer but maybe don’t make Motorworks had a sweetly scented, it the center of their attention slightly bitter, and imminently when they’re having a good time,” quaffable winner on their hands. DeBisschop says. “We add to your life, but we’re not trying to The rest is Florida craft beer be the center of it. That means history. With pilsners and lagers brewing great, interesting beers enjoying a moment in the craft that don’t wear you down with their brewing community, there’s no sweetness or flavor.” better time—or place—to sip a V-Twin Lager than today at Motorworks’ Orlando brewpub.
Motorworks Brewing
Time for a top-off? You can fill up on fresh-brewed goodness in the heart of downtown Orlando. Bradenton’s award-winning house of hops, Motorworks Brewing, parked their latest brewpub in the former Fiat dealership on Jefferson Street. This is Motorworks’ crafty lab for brewing experimental beers to distribute throughout the Sunshine State—and to test in their 24-line taproom. In the craft beer industry, this ability to home in on and respond to customer
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“It didn’t feel like I was breaking any boundaries, although I know from a lot of the local guys who were brewing IPAs that they were surprised,” Haa says. “But a lot of these guys are doing the same thing now. And I think that’s a good thing.” With COVID-19 shrinking further in the rearview mirror, keep your eyes peeled for more food and beer pairings, like last March’s Annual Cookies and Crafts Celebration, and other events on Motorworks Orlando’s dog-friendly patio.
Big Storm Brewing This West Florida brewery has been opening taprooms across the Gulf Coast for years. Finally, like a hurricane barreling up the I-4 corridor, Big Storm Brewing has made its way from Tampa Bay to Orlando, opening a craft taproom at the Amway Center. And they’ve got four words for you: sports, sports, and sports. And beer. “Our taproom is very sportscentric,” regional sales manager Tracy Collins says. “We’ve got 25 to 30 big-screen TVs, we have the closed-circuit TVs for the Orlando Magic, so when they’re playing, we have the live feed going into our taproom. It’s a sports bar.” Given that two of the West Florida brewery’s owners are former football coaches, Big Storm pairs with the Florida sports community like an Arcus Pale Ale with a BBQ burger (both of which you can enjoy at Big Storm’s Orlando taproom). Speaking of IPAs, gushing over Big Storm’s flagship India pale ale at every opportunity is essential. Brewed with locally sourced wildflower honey, Arcus Pale Ale is the perfect Florida take on a beloved style. And yes, you’ll soon be able to catch a game and grab a Big Storm IPA, lager, or wheat ale brewed inside Amway Center before (or after) the final buzzer sounds. “The brewing system is ordered and delivered,” Collins says. “We’ll be doing a lot of Orlando-centric beers. So you could go into the taproom and have four or five beers that were only brewed at Amway that none of the other taprooms have.”
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[ film + tv ]
The Kids in the Hall — We interrupt your regularly scheduled snark to bring you news absolutely no one in his right mind could make fun of. Yes, the Kids in the Hall are back — the entire original five — in an eight-episode revival that hurtles their generation-defining comedy straight into a grateful new age. Remember Mr. Tyzik the Headcrusher? He’s now taking entire buildings hostage. It’s a fact! (Amazon Prime) The Lincoln Lawyer — Previously portrayed by Matthew McConaughey in the 2011 film of the same name, lawyer Mickey Haller gets a new series in which to conduct business from the back seat of his Town Car. This time, he’s portrayed by Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, with Neve Campbell as his ex-wife. The series was originally developed for CBS, which ended up passing on it. Now the show’s producers are suing for breach of contract. Although I think it was a little Method of them to draft their complaint in the trunk of a Suzuki Samurai. (Netflix)
The Kids in the Hall are back, crushing your head Friday on Netflix photo via Netflix
ON (small) SCREENS IN ORLANDO
Senior Year — Rebel Wilson plays a former cheerleader who goes back to finish high school after spending 17 years in a coma. So it’s a mashup of Hello Again, 13 Going on 30, Just Like Heaven and … Coma? Nah, that Geneviève Bujold always seemed a little short on the sis-boom-bah. (Netflix)
Streaming premieres you won’t want to miss by Steve Schneider PREMIERES WEDNESDAY: 42 Days of Darkness — The first Netflix series produced in Chile is based on the true story of Viviana Haeger, a woman who was considered missing for over a month before she was found murdered in her home. This version of the story adds a sister who crusades for justice to be done — I guess because, as new characters go, a reasonably attentive housekeeper would have everything wrapped up in three episodes. (Netflix)
genuine in the last seven years. (I will accept “my diabetes” as an answer.) (Disney+)
PREMIERES THURSDAY: Hacks — The acclaimed comedy returns for a second go’round, with Deborah (Jean Smart) taking her new stand-up act on the road to make sure it’s pitch-perfect. Fresh additions to the cast this season include Margaret Cho as … I dunno, a cautionary tale? (HBO Max)
The Challenge: All Stars — The 24 contestants in Season 3 have all proven their mettle by either qualifying for or winning a past Challenge Final. And if that doesn’t sound impressive, a full seven of them are on the Peak Results plan at Crunch! (Paramount+)
The Sadness — The hoped-for reunion of a young couple is thrown into doubt by a horrific pandemic that sweeps across Taiwan, making the infected act out their worst and most destructive influences. This just in: Elon Musk has bought the virus for $44 billion. (Shudder)
The Getaway King — Based on the true story of a convict who escaped from the same prison 29 times, this Polishmade action comedy won the Audience Award at the 2021 Krakow Film Festival. Destined to be popular at the 2022 festival: instructional films about how to escape Poland. (Netflix)
Savage Beauty — South Africa proves it can Shonda Rhimes with the best of ’em by bringing us this drama series about a woman who infiltrates an intrigue-ridden cosmetics empire. Well, duh! Why d’ya think they call it “concealer”? (Netflix)
Operation Mincemeat — The currently ubiquitous Colin Firth stars in a World War II drama about the British officers who were tasked with making sure Hitler didn’t find out about the Allies’ plan to invade Sicily. The story was previously covered in 1956’s The Man Who Never Was. (Or, as we know him today, “Bruno”). (Netflix)
PREMIERES FRIDAY:
Our Father — Learn all about the sordid case of Donald Cline, an Indiana fertility doctor who secretly impregnated more than 50 of his patients with his own sperm. I can’t believe they titled this documentary anything but Hoosier Daddy. (Netflix) The Quest — Eight teenagers undertake a magical, mystical challenge in a revival of a reality competition that aired on ABC in 2014. This iteration, though, is said to lean more heavily on scripted narrative elements. And that’s fair, because name one other thing in your life that’s become more
New Heights — Dig into a Swiss drama series in which a highpowered business type has to take over his family’s farm … while hiding his homosexuality from the surrounding village. I swear on a stack of Bibles that “Manure Hole” is the title of Episode 6, and not the name of the bar where our hero goes to drown his sorrows. Hey, maybe it’s both! (Netflix)
Bling Empire — Season 2 augments its cast of well-to-do East Asians and East Asian Americans with two highprofile additions: Rich Kids of Beverly Hills alum Dorothy Wang and philanthropist Mimi Morris. A fun fact about the Vietnamese-born Mimi is that she spent two years of her childhood living in a large hole in the ground. And that alone should make her the favorite of any viewers who grew up in Pasco County. (Netflix) The Essex Serpent — Claire Danes and Tom Hiddleston star in a six-episode adaptation of Sarah Perry’s novel, in which a Victorian-era widow teams up with a minister to look for an elusive sea monster. Only an Englishman of the late 19th century could fail to recognize the comedic potential of that description; I know Benny Hill would have had a field day with it. (Apple TV+)
Sneakerella — In a gender-reversed, “urban” take on Cinderella, a wannabe sneaker designer woos the daughter of a basketball-star-turned-footwear magnate. And just to remind us it has a second middle finger, Disney has even thrown in a Fairy Godfather. Great, now Orange County’s gonna have to pay the upkeep on all those churro carts, too. (Disney+) Soho Theatre Live Season 3 — A new series of stand-up performances showcases 10 of the brightest U.K. comics of this generation — including Felicity Ward, winner of the Best Comedy Show award at the 2018 Edinburgh Fringe. Could this be where the next Fleabag comes from? (Now that you can’t find ’em at the Winn-Dixie on East Colonial, that is?) (Amazon Prime)
PREMIERES SUNDAY: Conversations With Friends — The same team that adapted Irish author Sally Rooney’s Normal People for the screen turns its collective hand to her previous novel, in which a pair of lesbian BFFs strike up a dangerous flirtation with an older straight couple. And to think it all started when the BBC saw Rooney writing in a bar, sauntered over and said, “Excuse me, but my partner Hulu and I really like your vibe and would like to buy you a drink.” (Hulu)
PREMIERES MONDAY: Vampire in the Garden — In the latest anime series from WIT Studios, creators of Attack on Titan, a young girl tries to bring peace to the Earth after it’s been taken over by vampires. Can she convince their queen, who once loved humanity, that the two species can coexist in a state of mutual respect? Probably — if you’re a damn centrist. (Netflix)
PREMIERES TUESDAY: Black Gold — Darren Aronofsky teams up with Time magazine to bring us the true story of a high-stakes cover-up that complicated the war on climate change. He sure has come a long way since he teamed up with High Times to bring us Requiem for a Dream. (Paramount+)
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[ local music ]
How Michael Donaldson left global DJing behind to reconnect with music (and life)
campus station — and later, Rollins College’s WPRK 91.5 FM. After graduating from UCF in 1991, Donaldson was well on his way to becoming a fixture in Orlando’s emergent indiealternative music scene. He had been in several punk bands during his teen years, so it was no surprise when Donaldson began playing guitar in local dream-pop band Tick Tick Tock. (For the curious, search for “Animation Festival” on Bandcamp — a Butthole Surfers-esque group he was in during the late ’80s.) Finally, cementing his now-established auteur sensibility, he also opened retail shop Bad Mood Records in 1992. Donaldson was an avid home-recordist during those early years, four-tracking his Juno 106 synth, drum machine and guitar to produce bedroom-pop symphonies. But after seeing Meat Beat Manifesto perform, he bought a sampler and began creating his own dance tracks — in debt to both the smooth grooves of house music and noisy hip-hop like Public Enemy. With the addition of the textural and conceptual influence of ambient pioneer Brian Eno, he was ready to drop and roll as Q-Burns Abstract Message (Q-BAM). While Donaldson certainly wasn’t the first indie rocker to trade his guitar for a sampler — or turntables — he felt it was a natural extension of his DIY punk days. “In the early ’90s, I really enjoyed underground dance music in that it was being self-distributed. [It was] bringing everyone together … that had so much appeal to me. My whole point of DJing was to be a part of what happened in the room with the crowd,” remembers Donaldson. He released his first single as Q-BAM — the breakbeat noir of “141 Revenge Street” — in 1995, and began spinning records focused on moving the dance floor. Within two years, Donaldson inked a deal with Astralwerks, the iconic electronic label. He eventually released three albums for the label over the next five years — early-singles compilation Oeuvre (1998), full-length debut Feng Shui (1998) and final offering Invisible Airline (2001). Tours as the opening DJ for Gus Gus, Chemical Brothers and longtime heroes Meat Beat Manifesto quickly ensued. As did the onset of his seemingly nonstop DJ gigs — both nationally and globally. At his early-2000s peak, Donaldson was booking 100 dates annually, traveling from San Francisco to Siberia. In fact, one of his favorite countries to travel to was Russia, where he DJed more than a dozen times. In parallel to his seamless beat-making for Astralwerks — Donaldson is a true multitasker — he also formed Eighth Dimension Records in the mid-’90s with serial entrepreneur Gerard Mitchell. Soon, this music collective and licensing label — which included local artists Beef Wellington, DJ BMF, Dynagroove and Pimp Daddy Nash — began releasing records. At the same time, Donaldson was also remixing other artists such as Faith No More, Fila Brazillia, Mazi & Colette, Rabbit in the Moon, Us3 and Violent Femmes. Selfreliant and self-distributed, indeed.
BY DANIEL FULLER
THE ENDLESS NOW
Michael Donaldson wonders what note comes next | Photo by Matt Keller Lehman
Q-BURNS’ ABSTRACT JOURNEY “I
kinda fell out of love with it. I was enjoying what was happening less and less,” says former globetrotting DJ and producer extraordinaire Michael Donaldson. “I got into DJing initially because it seemed like an extension of what I was really into as a punk rock kid … I was really into the idea of the band being the facilitator for the show; they weren’t necessarily the stars.” While the latest generation of EDM fans are likely sick of hearing tales about the rise and fall of Orlando’s underground dance music scene during the 1990s, they were indeed heady times. From humble acid house origins during the late ’80s with Kimball Collins spinning at AAHZ to the opening of Club Firestone in 1992 and Chemical 36
Brothers performing their first U.S. show at the Edge a year later, Orlando’s rave scene made national waves. In fact, Rolling Stone magazine at the time dubbed Orlando the “Seattle of electronica” in a lengthy feature about our little underground in the Aug. 21, 1997, issue. However, the City Beautiful’s time in the musical spotlight was fleeting — the eventual passage of the City of Orlando’s “rave ban” a local ordinance that forced nightclubs to close by 3 a.m., was the inevitable beginning of the end. Though a transplant, Michael Donaldson was here for all of it — initially moving from Monroe, Louisiana, to Orlando in 1989 to enroll in the University of Central Florida’s then-new film program, though he opted for a radio-television degree instead. He was soon DJing for WUCF 89.9 FM — UCF’s
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We’re sitting comfortably in the screened-in Florida room of Donaldson’s home — shared with wife Caroline St. Clair — which offers a gorgeous, near-panoramic view of Lake Holden and the downtown Orlando skyline. The sun is shining with a light breeze. Several cats mill about. Snacks are offered and eaten. Our discussion turns back to his retirement from the decks. “Another reason I got out of DJing is it started drying up when the crash happened in 2008. I remember looking at my calendar and I had no gig commitments anywhere … in the far future, near future. And that was the first time since ’96,” Donaldson says. And just like that, the seemingly endless gigs dried up overnight for Donaldson and hundreds of other DJs making a living by jetting across the globe to play records for
[ local music ] ecstatic nightclub crowds. But his recall of this life change takes on an even more personal tone when he reveals that a health concern also played a role. “It became a little tougher for me also because I had this eye disease called keratoconus that made it really difficult to see in dark rooms — so it became less and less fun for me for that reason as well,” Donaldson says. After a DJ spins their last record, what’s next? Fortunately, Donaldson and Eighth Dimension’s artists were early adopters in the sync-licensing boom — meaning securing song placement in television, films or online content for a fee — of the late ’90s and early ’00s. Initial deals included licensing a Q-BAM track for Sex and the City, placing a Pimp Daddy Nash song in Six Feet Under and securing two Beef Wellington beats for two different seasons of The Wire. While Donaldson never shuttered Eighth Dimension Records — Quincy Jointz Presents Lime Sorbet 2 (2012) is the last release to date — his attention instead shifted to licensing. Building on that previous success with placements, Donaldson soon launched 8D Sync, an online sync-licensing platform to represent musicians and help record labels navigate the complexities of music publishing. Notable clients include the Record Machine (Kansas City), Wind Horse Records (New Delhi, India) and WeGrowWax Records (Wexford, Ireland). While 8D Sync had Donaldson working with bands again, it wasn’t quite the same experience as releasing new music to niche audiences of appreciative fans. Enter 8D Industries — a consistent brand continuity via the numeral “eight” runs strong throughout his microverse (see also the 8sided.blog) — a boutique label with a roster of experimental-electronic acts far removed from the 4/4 pulse of the dance floor. 8D Industries (8dindustries.bandcamp.com) has released music from Gemini Revolution, Monta at Odds, More Ghost Than Man, Ralph Kinsella and San Mateo — in addition to tracks by Donaldson himself. “I flirted with calling it ‘Eighth Dimension Records’ … but it just didn’t seem right because my tastes are different, the sound of the label is different, the direction I kind of wanted to go with is different. And the strategies of how I wanted to promote it and get the music out there was vastly different than how Eighth Dimension was approached,” explains Donaldson. While the majority of his 8D-related ventures were consciously planned, other opportunities were seemingly spontaneous and random. After recording a couple of podcast episodes with former labelmate Jon Curtis (Pimp Daddy Nash) which were never officially released, Donaldson stumbled upon another potential avenue. “This band out of Atlanta decided they wanted to do a podcast to promote their new album. I got hired for them and cut three episodes,” says Donaldson. Then COVID-19 hit in March 2020, and the band’s funds dried up. Unpaid and understandably frazzled, Donaldson thought he had reached another dead end. Instead, he was contacted by a friend who worked for SiriusXM — specifically with Andrew Loog Oldham’s show on the “Little Steven’s Underground Garage” channel. (For the uninitiated, Oldham is the iconic English music producer best known as the Rolling Stones’ original manager from 1963-1967. He also worked with a slew of famed musicians including Eric Clapton, Jimmy Page, Nico and Rod Stewart.) The two developed a podcast series featuring Oldham casually chatting with artists and musicians on a variety of topics. The show was soon picked up by the Double Elvis network — home of podcasts “Disgraceland” (true crime) and “Curious Creatures” (hosted by Siouxsie and the Banshees’ Budgie and the Cure’s Lol Tolhurst) — as it was going into its second season. A savvy producer was needed to edit down each episode’s raw conversation and sweeten the audio. Guess who was brought in to tighten up the show?
Michael Donaldson rages against Lake Holden | Photo by Matt Keller Lehman
“I have a friend who [was a producer] at SiriusXM … and he worked on Andrew Loog Oldham’s show. And when Andrew left, they started doing this podcast together called ‘Sounds and Vision.’ It’s been a blast,” enthuses Donaldson. “It’s a challenge because I still get two hours of this conversation and I have to create a 45-minute cohesive, flowing, gripping kind of podcast out of it.” Guests for “Sounds and Vision”’s second season included guitarist Elliot Easton (The Cars), radio personality Dave Kaufman, rock photographer Gered Mankowitz and guitarist Johnny Marr (The Smiths). Though the show is currently on hiatus until Season three, Donaldson has picked up other podcast clients in the meantime — most recently, “Spot Lyte On,” hosted by tech-entrepreneur Lawrence Peryer. While Donaldson’s connection to music — as well as the business of producing music — is stronger than ever, he’s also found time for domestic bliss. He married longtime girlfriend St. Clair in 2019. A vegetarian of long standing, Donaldson recently discovered vegan cooking. He reportedly makes a mean enchilada. In fact, he’s also making his own hot sauces — using fresh datil, habañero and ghost peppers grown by St. Clair — which we sampled on a recent visit. And finally, there’s Kitten School: a foster group for cats run by St. Clair with its own YouTube channel. (Editor’s note: We can personally vouch for their very good deeds.) At any given time, there might be up to a dozen kittens — mostly temporary fosters, with a few permanent residents — scampering about their home. As Donaldson’s love of felines equals his musical passions, he’s been all too happy to assist with Kitten School’s marketing and hands-on videography.
BRIGHT FUTURES
On Jan. 1 of this year, 8D Industries quietly released Donaldson’s latest musical offering — the debut single from his new moniker, Grottoes. “Straw Belle” is dark and mysterious. Slo-mo beats keep time while dissonant melodies intertwine and grinding noises flicker in the background. It’s decidedly different than Q-BAM’s previously funked-up, shimmering house grooves. Was this a reactionary maneuver? A creative reset inspired by Eno’s Oblique Strategy cards? Or something more thoughtful? “I’m interested in danceable music — but I’m not really interested in ‘dance music,’” says Donaldson. “I have plans to do a lot more stuff with it; I think about it all the time. But I put little roadblocks in my mind until I get to it like, ‘Oh, I need to re-arrange my office.’” Donaldson’s explanation made us think of something he said earlier about DJing beginning to lose its appeal over his decades-long journey. Not surprising — it’s about music becoming regressive and nostalgia-seeking. Another scene celebrating itself? “A lot of the music started sounding less like the future to me. And more like the past. I just can’t get excited by things that are really backwards-looking,” says Donaldson. But like the many threads running through his life, the proverbial silver lining outshines everything else. “I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy it up to the end. I mean, there were things I really enjoyed. I enjoyed a lot of the camaraderie with the other people. I met so many amazing people who had the spirit of what brought me into it. And also a lot of people that were looking to the future in the music and where it could go.”
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BY B AO L E - H U U Answers | photo courtesy of the artists
LOCAL RELEASES
The term “contemporary classical” — both words, together — is the very essence of what Orlando band Answers are doing. The players — Thad Anderson (vibrakit, electronics), Chris Belt (electric guitar, electronics), Brandon Kyle Miller (electric bass, electronics), Caitlin Pequignot (violin, electronics) and Béatriz Ramirez (oboe, English horn) — are an all-star cast of young Orlando mavericks on the cutting edge of the city’s classical music scene, both individually and in groups like Alterity Chamber Orchestra. Little of what they do together evokes the old European masters. Answers’ musical vocabulary may be classical, but their outlook and intent are unmistakably forward. It’s new classical music predicated not on the stiffness of tradition but rather the daring liberty of experimentation. They’ll reach for electronics just as quickly as they would orchestral instruments. Forget the starched old halls; this is much more renegade art-gallery stuff here. As a band of composers, Answers have a modus operandi of passing the writer’s pen around the table. For their debut studio album, titled A New Path to Touch the Earth, they commissioned bassist Brandon Kyle Miller (with their own stimulus checks, no less) to compose pieces to showcase their ensemble playing and seasoned collective improvisation. Across three extended and voyaging pieces, it’s a dynamic trek through structured sections and responding passages of free improvisation. True to Answers’ dedication to the magic of spontaneity, the whole album was recorded live in first takes without overdubs, all in a single day. To further certify their modern sensibilities, they tapped none other than post-rock god John McEntire (of Tortoise and The Sea and Cake fame) to mix and master the album.
The term “contemporary classical” is the very essence of what Orlando band Answers are doing. The players are an all-star cast of young Orlando musical mavericks whose musical vocabulary may be classical, but their outlook and intent are unmistakably forward
The Afghan Whigs: Nothing, it seems, can sap the longstanding virility of the Afghan Whigs. Geographic dispersion, miserly output and disbandment are career circumstances that would end most mortal bands. For these kings of carnal rock, however, their cult status and emotional intensity remain white-hot through it all. And as their last burning performance here supporting their last album (2017’s In Spades) proved, their live show still brings the inferno. (6 p.m. Friday, May 13, The Social, $30-$130)
Tuffy’s 4th Anniversary with North Mississippi Allstars: Sanford concert magnet Tuffy’s is celebrating its latest — and greatest — year yet as a live music contender. To make that point shine, they’re doing it with some star power in bluesy SouthernA New Path to Touch the Earth will see rock saviors North Mississippi Allstars. broad release on all platforms on May 13, Rounding out the bill will be Sam Morrow, but it’s up on Answers’ Bandcamp now as Satsang and Kristopher James. Happy birthan early release for stream, download or CD. day to this new cornerstone of Sanford’s live scene. (4 p.m. Saturday, May 14, Tuffy’s CONCERT PICKS THIS WEEK Music Box, $30-$60) If you go out, be safe, be cool. Wu-Tang Killarmy: Of the vast Wu-Tang universe, Killarmy is one of the brightest constellations. Besides packing actual pedigree from RZA’s younger brother (9th Prince), this seasoned rap crew deals in the same dark dope that Wu heads live for. The stacked marquee will also feature West Coast underground rap hero Planet Asia and a deep roster of homegrown talent that includes MidaZ the Beast, Shinobi Stalin and DJ Remington Steele. Other special features will be a beat battle between TzariZM and Okito, as well as a special exhibition by art competition group No Borders. (8 p.m. Friday, May 13, The Abbey, $20-$25)
Gogol Bordello, Amigo the Devil: Ukraine as a cause has become global. For gypsy-punk juggernaut Gogol Bordello and especially Ukrainian frontman Eugene Hutz, though, it’s personal. Their ongoing benefit efforts for Ukraine have now snowballed into a benefit tour. Dedicated to the defenders of Ukraine, the Solidaritine Tour will donate a portion of its proceeds to aid the besieged country. This tour also sports a particularly local feature in opener Amigo the Devil, a distinguished Orlando expat whose theatrical murder-folk sound has been earning some national acclaim. (7 p.m. Sunday, May 15, The Plaza Live, $31-$49.50) baolehuu@orlandoweekly.com orlandoweekly.com
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THEWEEK
WEDNESDAY–TUESDAY, MAY 11-17, 2022 Submit your events to listings@orlandoweekly.com
Vivacity 3 p.m., Blue Bamboo
Center for the Arts, 1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park, $20-$25
MONDAY, MAY 16
John Ford Coley, Ambrosia 7:30 p.m., King Center
for the Performing Arts, 3865 N. Wickham Road, Melbourne, $49.75$69.75
Softspoken, Avanti 8 p.m.,
Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., $10$12
TUE SDAY, MAY 17
Bleachers, Allison Ponthier 6 p.m., House of Blues, Disney Springs, $39.50-$75
Orange Blossom Jamboree Pre-Party: Joy Wagon 8 p.m., The Geek Easy, 114 S. Semoran Blvd., Winter Park, free-$5
Prince Daddy and the Hyena, Macseal, Insignificant Other, California Cousins 6 p.m.,
Henao Contemporary Center, 5601 Edgewater Drive, $17
courtesy photo
MUSIC + MORE WE DNE SDAY, MAY 11
Tommy Emmanuel 8 p.m., The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave., $34-$70
keshi, Rei Brown 8 p.m., The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave., $29.50-$39.50
8 p.m., Stardust Lounge, 431 E. Central Blvd., $12
Veil of Maya, Born of Osiris, VCTMS, Hunt the Dinosaur, Slay Squad
Stay at Home Astronauts!!, Mirror Parts, Run the Riot 7 p.m.,
The Billy Mick and Friends Variety Show
Fast Preacher, Dirtbike, Aflaytus 8 p.m., Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., $8-$10
THURSDAY, MAY 12
The Chotchkies, Wheeler Newman 8 p.m., Lil’ Indies, 1036
N. Mills Ave., free
John Mulaney
8 p.m., Addition Financial Arena, 12777 N. Gemini Blvd., $84-$139
Laang, Dzo Nga, Steps Of Odessa, High Pressure
8 p.m., Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., $10-$12
The Dead South, Reverend Peyton’s Big Damn Band 7 p.m., House
of Blues, Disney Springs, $28$58.75
5 p.m., The Beacham, 46 N. Orange Ave., $22
Stardust Video and Coffee, 1842 E. Winter Park Road, $10
Wanda Sykes
FRIDAY-SATURDAY, MAY 13-14
8 p.m., Walt Disney Theater, Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 445 S. Magnolia Ave., $39.50$79.50 FRIDAY, MAY 13
Ace Enders 7 p.m., Will’s Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., $18 Dan Jordan Quartet 8 p.m.,
Blue Bamboo Center for the Arts, 1905 Kentucky Ave., Winter Park, $20
Run Raquel 6 p.m., The Veranda at Thornton Park, 707 E. Washington St., free Jackyl 7 p.m., House of Blues, Disney Springs, $24-$65
Impact Wrestling 7 p.m.,
Osceola Heritage Park, 1875 Silver Spur Lane, Kissimmee, $35-$150
SATURDAY, MAY 14
Arijit Singh 8 p.m., Addition Financial Arena, 12777 N. Gemini Blvd., $59-$199 Five for Fighting 8 p.m., The Plaza Live, 425 N. Bumby Ave., $39.50-$59.50 The Great American Songbook with The John Pizzarelli Trio 3:30 & 7:30
p.m., Steinmetz Hall, Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 445 S. Magnolia Ave., $10-$134.94
Nala 10 p.m., Elixir, 9 W. Washington St., $10-$20
NLE Choppa, Scorey 7 p.m., Celine Orlando, 22 S. Magnolia Ave., $25 Roosevelt Collier, Blaque Dynamite, Brad Miller, Chuck Magid 8 p.m., Will’s
Pub, 1042 N. Mills Ave., $15-$20
Orlando Gay Chorus Annual Spring Concert: “Love Yo’Self” 7:30 p.m.,
Rosen Event Center, 11184 S. Apopka Vineland Road, $10-$25
Sylvan Esso 6 p.m., House of
Blues, Disney Springs, $32.50-$90
SUNDAY, MAY 15
Injury Reserve, Armand Hammer, Akai Solo 6 p.m.,
The Social, 54 N. Orange Ave., $25,
Orlando Gay Chorus Annual Spring Concert: “Love Yo’Self” 3 p.m., Rosen Event Center, 11184 S. Apopka Vineland Road, $10-$25
Gatorpalooza
Gatorland brings back their Gatorpalooza bash for a triumphal return. On top of live music, games and giveaways, the park is also hosting markets and food vendors … and the Florida Man Challenge. Saturday-Sunday, Gatorland, 14501 S. Orange Blossom Trail, $32.99, gatorland.com
Malcolm X Book Fest 2022 Visit authors, publishers, writers, and poets showcasing their latest literary works, participate in various creative workshops and join us for storytelling highlighting Afrocentric folklore, with retail and food vendors. Sunday, 2 p.m., Martin Luther King, Jr. Park, 1050 W. Morse Blvd., Winter Park, free
Mills 50 Mega Pop Up Market
Jukebox musical. Walt Disney Theater, Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts, 445 S. Magnolia Ave., $44.75-$119.75
Shop two locations: Quantum Leap Winery and The House on Lang. Vendors include By Lindsay Clay, Chill Artistry, Soul Shine Co., Fantasy Nature Arts, Urban Elemental Wood, Goodfills, Inkling and Smugpots, Bellamilanina, Pizzadilla, The Bruja’s Table, Full Press Juicery, Hanalei Shave Ice. Saturday, 1 p.m., Mills 50 Main Street District, 728 N. Thornton Ave., free, instagram.com/ orlandolocalmakers
M AY 13 -15
Princesses in the Park
T H E AT E R
WA N DA S Y K E S , T H U R S D AY N I G H T AT THE DR . PHILLIPS CENTER
the big cats and meet Dr. Simba Wiltz, CEO of CFAR. Sunday, 2:45 p.m., Central Florida Animal Reserve, 500 Broussard Road, St. Cloud, $50
M AY 13 -15
Beautiful: The Carole King Musical
Red
An intense look at abstract expressionist Mark Rothko. Osceola Center for the Arts, 2411 E. Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway, Kissimmee, $28
EVENTS Beer ’Merica
In celebration of American Craft Beer Week, Beer ’Merica will feature 100 different craft brews to sample from, all from the good ole US of A, live music, food trucks, game zone and more! Saturday, 3 p.m., Gaston Edwards Park, 1236 N. Orange Ave., $40-$70, beermericaorlando.com
The Big Cat Summer Sip and Stroll
An afternoon and evening tasting a selection of fine wines and sampling the charcuterie table, while enjoying a guided walking tour to encounter
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Hear magical stories told by the princesses themselves, engage in a one-of-a-kind fairy hair makeover, play some princess-themed games, and interact with your favorite characters. Saturday, 11 a.m., Mayor Carl T. Langford Park, 1808 E. Central Blvd., $25
Spring Fling Drag Cookout
Pig roast, pool party and backyard games. Saturday, 4 p.m., The Veranda at Thornton Park, 707 E. Washington St., $30-$50
White Party
Benefiting Spektrum Health’s Patient Assistance Fund. All proceeds go to fund medical and mental health care for LGBTQ people with little or no insurance coverage. Saturday, 6 p.m., Eve Orlando, 110 S. Orange Ave., $52.50$500 n
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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Every successful person I know starts before they feel ready,” declared life coach Marie Forleo. Author Ivan Turgenev wrote, “If we wait for the moment when everything, absolutely everything, is ready, we shall never begin.” Here’s what educator Supriya Mehra says: “There’s never a perfect moment to start, and the more we see the beauty in ‘starting small,’ the more we empower ourselves to get started at all.” I hope that in providing you with these observations, Taurus, I have convinced you to dive in now. Here’s one more quote, from businesswoman Betsy Rowbottom: “There’s never a perfect moment to take a big risk.” GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Poet Ranata Suzuki writes, “There comes a point where you no longer care if there’s a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You’re just sick of the tunnel.” That’s good advice for you right now, Gemini. The trick that’s most likely to get you out of the tunnel is to acknowledge that you are sick of the damn tunnel. Announce to the universe that you have gleaned the essential teachings the ride through the tunnel has provided you. You no longer need its character-building benefits because you have harvested them all. Please say this a thousand times sometime soon: “I am ready for the wide-open spaces.” CANCER (June 21-July 22): In the coming weeks, your imagination will receive visions of the next chapter of your life story. These images and stories might confuse you if you think they are illuminating the present moment. So please keep in mind that they are prophecies of what’s ahead. They are premonitions and preparations for the interesting work you will be given during the second half of 2022. If you regard them as guiding clues from your eternal soul, they will nourish the inner transformations necessary for you to welcome your destiny when it arrives. Now study this inspirational quote from poet Rainer Maria Rilke: “The future glides into us, so as to remake itself within us, long before it occurs.” LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “Remember that you will never reach a higher standard than you yourself set,” wrote author Ellen G. White. That’s true! And that’s why it’s so crucial that you formulate the highest standards you can imagine — maybe even higher than you can imagine. Now is a favorable phase for you to reach higher and think bigger. I invite you to visualize the best version of the dream you are working on — the most excellent, beautiful and
inspiring form it could take. And then push on further to envision even more spectacular results. Dare to be greedy and outrageous. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Before Virgo-born Leslie Jones achieved fame as a comedian and actor, she worked day jobs at United Parcel Service and Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles. Her shot at major appreciation didn’t arrive until the TV show Saturday Night Live hired her to be a regular cast member in 2014, when she was 47 years old. Here’s how she describes the years before that: “Everybody was telling me to get a real job. Everybody was asking me, What are you doing? You’re ruining your life. You’re embarrassing your family.” Luckily, Jones didn’t heed the bad advice. “You can’t listen to that,” she says now. “You have to listen to yourself.” Now I’m suggesting that you embrace the Leslie Jones approach, Virgo. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “A person must dream a long time in order to act with grandeur, and dreaming is nursed in darkness.” Author Jean Genet wrote that, and now I’m offering you his words as the seed of your horoscope. If you’ve been attuned to cosmic rhythms, you have been doing what Genet described and will continue to do it for at least another 10 days. If you have not yet begun such work, please do so now. Your success during the rest of 2022 will thrive to the degree that you spend time dreaming big in the darkness now. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Cursed are those who feel floods but who can only express a few drops.” So says an internet proverb. Luckily, this principle won’t apply to you in the coming weeks. I expect you will be inundated with cascades of deep feelings, but you will also be able to articulate those feelings. So you won’t be cursed at all. In fact, I suspect you will be blessed. The cascades may indeed become rowdy at times. But I expect you will flourish amidst the lush tumult. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): “It takes a great deal of experience to become natural,” wrote Sagittarian author Willa Cather. I’m happy to report that in recent months, you Sagittarians have been becoming more and more natural. You have sought experiences that enhance your authenticity and spontaneity. Keep up the good work! The coming weeks should bring influences and adventures that will dramatically deepen your capacity to be untamed, soulful and intensely yourself.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “I intend to live forever,” proclaims 66-year-old comedian Steven Wright, who then adds, “So far, so good.” I offer you his cheerful outlook in the hope that it might inspire you to dream and scheme about your own longevity. Now is a great time to fantasize about what you would love to accomplish if you are provided with 90 or more years of life to create yourself. In other words, I’m asking you to expand your imagination about your long-term goals. Have fun envisioning skills you’d like to develop and qualities you hope to ripen if you are given all the time you would like to have. (P.S. Thinking like this could magically enhance your life expectancy.)
Meet Marnie! We at OCAS are all very excited about the new season of Stranger Things!
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Stop insisting on clearing your head,” advised author Charles Bukowski. “Clear your f---ing heart instead.” That will be a superb meditation for you to experiment with in the coming weeks. Please understand that I hope you will also clear your head. That’s a worthy goal. But your prime aim should be to clear your heart. What would that mean? Purge all apologies and shame from your longings. Cleanse your tenderness of energy that’s inclined to withhold or resist. Free your receptivity to be innocent and curious.
So for our May promotion, in honor of
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “The winner will be the one who knows how to pick the right fights,” wrote author Jane Ciabattari. Heed her advice, please, Pisces. You will soon be offered chances to deal with several interesting struggles that are worthy of your beautiful intelligence. At least one will technically be a “conflict,” but even that will also be a fruitful opportunity. If you hope to derive the greatest potential benefit, you must be selective about which ones you choose to engage. I recommend you give your focus to no more than two.
May promotion. When we were trying
our favorite character, all adoptions for all animals will be $11. As always, the adoption fee will include rabies vaccination, spay/neuter surgery and a microchip. Now is the time to find yourself a furry friend to help you binge-watch the series!
Marnie (A481376) is the face of our to decide which dog would be perfect for our Stranger Things promotion, she was the first one that came to mind. Calm, gentle, and always ready for the camera: That’s Marnie. We think Marnie is an absolutely amazing dog, and at 10 years old, she shouldn’t be spending her senior years here in a kennel. She still has a lot of energy
ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Choose the least important day in your life,” wrote Aries author Thornton Wilder. “It will be important enough.” I recommend that you make those your words to live by in the next two weeks. Why? Because I suspect there will be no tremendously exciting experiences coming your way. The daily rhythm is likely to be routine and modest. You may even be tempted to feel a bit bored. And yet, if you dare to move your attention just below the surface of life, you will tune into subtle glories that are percolating. You will become aware of quietly wondrous developments unfolding just out of sight and behind the scenes. Be alert for them. They will provide fertile clues about the sweet victories that will be available in the months ahead. orlandoweekly.com
and a lot of love to give. And we know, for the right adopter, she is just an amazing happy tale waiting to happen.
Orange County Animal Services is located at 2769 Conroy Road in Orlando, near the Mall at Millenia. The shelter is open 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Monday through Saturday and 1-5 p.m. Sunday. For more information, please call 407836-3111 or visit ocnetpets.com. ●
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“OPEN AND SHUT” Straight guy here in a one-sided open relationship. My wife and I opened our relationship just for her and to female partners only, so she could explore her bisexual side. I’m super proud of her for coming out and wanted her to feel fulfilled. When we agreed to this, I was naive and figured anything she experienced would be purely sexual and nothing more. She recently caught feelings and now has a girlfriend. She stays at her girlfriend’s place one to two nights a week. I get jealous and sick to my stomach when she is over there. She has that “new relationship energy” going and talks about her girlfriend all the time. Aside from the jealousy, I feel like I am not a priority. I’m hoping my feelings get better with time. Besides this, our marriage is great. I love my wife very much and want to support her in this. Are one-sided open relationships something that can work? Are my feelings unjustified and what can I do to better deal with them? Home Alone Your wife isn’t the first person to come out as bisexual after making a monogamous commitment to an opposite-sex partner and then ask for permission to sleep with other people — without wanting to extend the same permission to their straight spouse. Since she’s bi and can’t get pussy at home, the reasoning goes, she should be allowed to get pussy elsewhere. Since you’re straight and can get pussy at home (when that pussy is at home), you’re not entitled to the same allowance. But as your wife is demonstrating, HA, it’s not just pussy she’s getting elsewhere. While she’s getting one very specific need met outside your relationship — admittedly a need you can’t meet — she’s getting a lot more than that. In addition to pussy, she’s getting variety, adventure, unique experiences, new relationship energy and two overnights a week. Why shouldn’t you have some of that too? Not to even the score, but to feel like you’re an equal partner in this marriage and, as such, entitled to equal terms, equal treatment and equal benefits. And it doesn’t sound like you two were on the same page when it came to what opening your relationship entailed. Agreeing to a one-sided open relationship is not the same thing as agreeing to one-sided polyamory. If you didn’t agree to that, HA, your wife had no right to expect that from you or impose that on you. That said, one-sided open relationships can be great, HA, but they work best when the person who isn’t seeking sex outside the relationship either isn’t interested in having sex with other people or is turned on by the erotic power imbalance of being forbidden something their spouse is allowed — basically, this could work if you were a cuckold. Which you’re not.
I’m a straight man who has been married to a wonderful woman for 35 years. I’m the only person she has ever been with. Over the years she has evolved into a wonderful giving partner open to things that turn me on. I take pride in being able to give her multiple orgasms although she only wants to do this about once per month. She has been happy to give me pleasure multiple times per month even, but she talks of it like it’s a chore (“wifely duties”) and is always asking me why I want it so much. I tell her it is more normal for men to want it more, and I wish she would want it more as well! I have used porn to get off since my teens. She accepts this because it means fewer chores for her, but she doesn’t like it. Recently I started using my phone to take videos of her performing oral on me as I enjoy watching this and it cuts down on the porn. She checked my phone and was upset at what she saw. I told her I was sorry, but she says I should’ve asked for permission. I told her I would have asked for permission, but I knew the answer would be no! She said of course it would be no and she called it sick and gross! I tried to explain again that it is quite normal behavior for most men to want to watch and it is for my eyes only! Any words of advice on this sexy-for-me, not-so-much-for-her activity? Sincerely Appreciate Your Advice, Sweet Savage It’s not OK to take photos or videos of someone performing a sex act without their consent, SAYASS, even if that someone happens to be your wife. Even if that someone happens to have a lower libido than you do, even if that someone would rather you not look at porn, even if that
someone enjoys most of the things you want them to do — not only isn’t it OK, SAYASS, it’s a crime. It’s not normal behavior, it’s asshole behavior — and, again, in most places it’s literally criminal behavior. So your wife has every right to be upset. You violated her and did so knowingly; you say you didn’t ask for permission to make those videos because you knew she would say no. Dude. If your wife had been writing me, SAYASS, I would advise her to get a lawyer and divorce you. We hear so much about the all-important commitment to monogamy in marriage. What about the less emphasized but clearly important commitment to a healthy sex life? I’m a straight man. I’ve been married for about 20 years. I’ve never cheated on my wife, although I’ve come close in recent years. My wife and I had a healthy sex life for the first 10 years. For the last 10 years, we haven’t had sex at all. We are both in our late 40s, athletic and attractive, and neither of us has any overwhelming physical or mental problems. My wife is just so engrossed in her work and personal identity that she has stopped caring about sex. It’s all well and good to say, “You need to talk about this with her,” but I know from years of experience that would be futile. She refuses to discuss it. And she has made it clear that if I were to do anything outside the marriage, it would amount to an unforgivable betrayal. I vacillate between acceptance, frustration, bitterness and deep anger. Yes, I signed on for monogamy. But what did she sign on for? Can a woman or man in a monogamous marriage unilaterally cut off sex for no reason and still expect or
demand monogamy, as my wife does? What do I owe her? And what does she owe me? Despite this issue, we are good partners, good friends and good parents to our two teenage children. Protecting them from the trauma of divorce and not hurting my wife — these are the reasons I stay in the marriage. But it doesn’t feel right or fair that I have to be monogamous, that I will never experience physical intimacy again, not so much as a kiss or a touch, for the rest of my life, because my wife decided she is finished with that part of her life. What do other people think? Saddened Over Love’s Omissions People in the comment threads at savage.love have been taking me to task recently for being too quick to give my blessing to cheating … so, instead of answering this one myself, I’m going to open it to the commenters: What do you guys think SOLO should do? Personally, I don’t think a person can insist on monogamy while refusing to meet their partner’s reasonable sexual needs. (Well, a person can insist on it, but they shouldn’t expect it.) Please don’t tell SOLO to talk with his wife. He’s tried talking about it — he’s tried again and again for 10 years — and his wife refuses to discuss it. So, gang, what should he do? Should he do the “right thing” and get a divorce? Or should he do what he needs to do to stay married and stay sane? I’ll see you in the comments. Ask: questions@savagelove.net Follow Dan: @FakeDanSavage on Twitter Columns, podcasts, books, merch and more: savage.love
DRAWN BY KIERAN CASTAÑO
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Legal, Public Notices ALL ABOARD STORAGE NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE Personal property of the following tenants will be sold at public sale to the highest bidder to satisfy a rental lien in accordance with Florida Statutes, Sections: A83.801 - 83.809. All units are assumed to contain general household goods unless otherwise indicated. Viewing of photos will be available on www.lockerfox.com, up to 5 days prior to each scheduled sale. The owners or their agents reserve the right to bid on any unit and also to refuse any bid. All items or units may not be available on the day of sale. The Public Sale will take place via www.lockerfox. com on: Tuesday, May 24, 2022, 2:00 p.m., or thereafter, at: Sanford Depot, All Aboard Storage 2728 W 25th Street, Sanford, FL 32771 407-305-3388 Ronnie Fields-1015, Kimberly Frett-1134, Natasha Prince-1214, Towana Rush-1249, Summer Brown-1351, Rose Sanchez-1392, Bobby Moore-1490. The above Tenants have been given proper notice, fourteen days prior to the first publication of this Notice of Sale, that the Owner will enforce a statutory lien on the property located in their respective unit of the above-mentioned self-storage facilities. Ad to run: May 4 and 11, 2022. Extra Space Storage will hold a public auction to sell personal property described belowa t the property indicated: May 20, 2022 at the times and location listed below. The personal goods stored therein by the following: 12:00 PM Extra Space Storage 1101 Marshall Farms Rd, Ocoee 34761 (407) 516-7221 Elisha Smith- Household goods, Skeet Dugazon- Household goods, Eric MeeksTaxidermy, furniture. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.comPurchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above reference facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescindany purchase up until the winningbid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the property. Extra Space Storage will hold a public auction to sell personal property described below belonging to those individuals listed below at the location indicated: May 20, 2022 at the times and locations listed below. The personal goods stored therein by the following: 12:00PM Extra Space Storage 2631 E Semoran Blvd. Apopka, FL 32703 (407) 408-7437 Joyce Hayman-Household items. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in ordr to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and
may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property. Extra Space Storage will hold a public auction to sell personal property described below belonging to those individuals listed below at the location indicated: 5603 Metrowest Blvd Orlando, FL 32811 on 5/20/22 at 12:00 PM: Jeffrey Bumgarner: household goods; Anthony Rhagnanan: clothes, pictures, boxes; Yvette Chabrier: one bedroom apartment; Nashon Swaby: boxes. The auction will be listed and advertised on www. storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property. Extra Space Storage will hold a public auction to sell personal property described below belonging to those individuals listed below at the location indicated: May 20, 2022 at the times and locations listed below. The personal goods stored therein by the following: 2:00PM Extra Space Storage 12709 E Colonial Dr, Orlando FL 32826, 4076343990: James Hogue: Furniture, boxes, totes, car bumper, decor The personal goods stored therein by the following: 12:45PM Extra Space Storage 9847 Curry Ford Rd Orlando, FL 32825, 4074959612: Sir james-Household goods- Marc MetelusFridge and boxes- Kiyana Pratt- King bed, bedroom set, dresser, crib, 12 boxes-Camillia Posley-Washer, dryer, cocktail table, boxes-Lyson M MorrisonHousehold goods. The personal goods stored therein by the following: 12:00PM Extra Space Storage 11071 University Blvd Orlando, FL 32817, 3213204055: Bilma Fontanez Household goods The personal goods stored therein by the following: 2:00PM Extra Space Storage 11971 Lake Underhill Rd, Orlando FL 32825, 4075167913: Evan Weiss dresser boxes. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property. Extra Space Storage will hold a public auction to sell personal property described below belonging to those individuals listed below at the location indicated May 20, 2022 at the time and location listed below. The personal goods stored therein by the following: 12:00PM Extra Space Storage 1451 Rinehart Rd Sanford, FL 32771 (407) 915-4908 Luis Carlos De Carvalho-House furniture, Scott Latour- 1 bedroom house, no furniture. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property. Extra Space Storage will hold a public auction to sell personal property described below belonging to those individuals listed below at the location indicated: May 20, 2022 at the times and locations listed below. The personal goods stored therein by the following:
12:00 PM Extra Space Storage 831 N. Park Avenue Apopka, FL 32712 (407) 450-0345 Wendy Moore-Q bed, love seat, recliner, 2 tvs, boxes and other items.-Angela Bryant-pictures, clothes, books, kitchen appliances, household goods. Sharniece Butler-clothes, shoes.Chelsey Ahmad-household stuff, chairs, lamps, some baby stuff, storage bins, books.The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to comlete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property. Extra Space Storage will hold a public auction to sell personal property described below belonging to those individuals listed below at the location indicated: May 20th, 2022, at the times and locations listed below. The personal goods stored therein by the following: 12:00PM Extra Space Storage 11920 W Colonial Dr Ste 10, Ocoee FL 34761, 407794-6970. Kiera Sade Wright- household items. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property. Extra Space Storage will hold a public auction to sell personal property described below belonging to those individuals listed below at the location indicated: 1001 Lee Road Orlando, FL 32810 (407) 489-3742, May 20, 2022 @ 12:00 PM: Hector Bonilla -boxes & household items: Jeffrey Lugo Clavel: household items: John Stuart-furniture: Jessica Stankus-shelving & tools. The auction will be listed and advertised on www.storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property. Extra Space Storage will hold a public auction to sell personal property described below belonging to those individuals listed below at the location indicated: May 20th, 2022 at the times and locations listed below. The personal goods stored therein by the following: 1:00 PM Extra Space Storage 610 Rinehart Rd. Lake Mary, FL 32746 (407) 333-4355 Ladejza Sanders – Boxes, Ronald Schwartz – Tools, Roderic Boling – Household Goods, Katie Boling – Household goods, Jacob Wittland – Household Goods, Vin# ZDM1XBLW9B021861 Year: 2009 Make: Ducati Model: Superbike, Ryan Schroeder – Household Goods, Vin# ZDM1XBLWX9B021861 Year: 2009 Make: Ducati Model: Superbike, Bank of Quincy – Household Goods, Vin# ZDM1XBLW9B021861 Year: 2009 Make: Ducati Model: Superbike. The auction will be listed and advertised on www. storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.
IN THE CIRCUIT COURT OF THE NINTH JUDICIAL CIRCUIT IN AND FOR ORANGE COUNTY STATE OF FLORIDA. JUVENILE DIVISION: 03/TYNAN CASE NO: DP18-694, IN THE INTEREST OF Minor Child: J. L. DOB: 07/10/2020. SUMMONS AND NOTICE OF ADVISORY HEARING FOR TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS, STATE OF FLORIDA. TO: Nikola Arsic Address Unknown: A Petition for Termination of Parental Rights under oath has been filed in this court regarding the above referenced child. You are hereby commanded to appear before Judge Greg A. Tynan on May 18, 2022 at 9:30 a.m. at the Juvenile Justice Center, 2000 East Michigan Street, Orlando, Florida 32806, for a TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING. You must appear on the date and at the time specified. For this hearing, all parties dhall participate via TEAMS. Call in at below number: +1 321-430-3303. Phone Conference ID: 404 804 884#. FAILURE TO PERSONALLY APPEAR AT THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS ADVISORY HEARING CONSTITUTES A CONSTRUCTIVE CONSENT TO THE TPR PETITION OF THE CHILD(REN) AND COULD RESULT IN THE TERMINATION OF PARENTAL RIGHTS TO THE CHILD(REN). “Pursuant to Sections 39.802(4)(d) and 63.082(6)(g), Florida Statutes, you are hereby informed of the availability of private placement with an adoption entity, as defined in Section 63.032(3), Florida Statutes.” WITNESS my hand and seal of this Court at Orlando, Orange County, Florida this 13th day of April, 2022. This summons has been issued at the request of: Rachel Stawski Dlugokienski, Esq., Florida Bar No.: 1010876 Senior Attorney, Rachel. Stawski@myflfamilies.com CLERK OF COURT By: /s/ Deputy Clerk. (Court Seal) NOTICE is hereby given that the undersigned, TzuChien Grace Huston, of 2725 N. Poinciana Blvd Unit 146, Kissimmee, FL 34746 in the county of Osceola, pursuant to the requirements of the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations, is hereby advertising the following fictitious name: G & D Vacation Home It is the intent of the undersigned to register “G & D Vacation Home” with the Florida Department of State, Division of Corporations. Dated: 5/6/2022 NOTICE OF PUBLIC AUCTION FOR MONIES DUE ON STORAGE LOCKERS LOCATED AT UHAUL COMPANY FACILITIES. STORAGE LOCATIONS AND TIMES ARE LISTED BELOW. ALL GOODS SOLD ARE HOUSEHOLD CONTENTS, MISCELLANEOUS OR RECOVERED GOODS. ALL AUCTIONS ARE HELD TO SATISFY OWNER’S LIEN FOR RENT AND FEES IN ACCORDANCE WITH FLORIDA STATUTES, SELF STORAGE ACT, SECTIONS 83.806 AND 83.807, STARTS AT 9:30am and RUNS CONTINUOUSLY. U-Haul Ctr 4 Corners, 8546 W. Irlo Bronson Memorial Hwy. Kissimmee Fl 34747 06/07/2022: 1794 Sandra Dorfman, 1903 Atnia Avila, 2254 Jane Vail, 2280 David Krug, 1835 Niki Slay, 2006 Jessica Francis, 1939 Bianca Nieves, 1726 Veronica Lanier, 2164 Tiffany Wolgast, 1871 Tanya White, 2051 Pedro Vazquez, 1851 Latka Mosby, 2077 Barry Grimes, 1146-48 Inez Spigner, 2109 Lindsey Franxman, 1546 Amy Quisenberry Faustine, 2407 Fidela Torres, 2157 Kurt Taylor, 2384 Dustin Wood, 1316 Michel’le Tyler, 2244 Lizatte/ Evangelista Andino/Rios, 1253 Marcjessica Anson, 1549 Jose Lugo, 1847 Amber Carson, 1438 LaTonya Tillman, 2394 Rosa Hernandez. U-Haul Ctr
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Haines City, 3307 US 17-92 N Haines City Fl. 33844 06/07/2022: G0810 Michelle Kennedy, A0095 Luke Samuel, G0770 Arneliz Velazquez, A0134 Martin Reid, G0744 Chris Jean, G0738 Christopher Windham, F0620 Takisha Coachman, A0090 Jaslynn Straight, A0055 Shona Rickerson. Notice of Public Sale: Pursuant to F.S. 713.78 on May 27th, 2022 at 9:00 am, Riker’s Roadside Of Central Florida, INC, 630 E Landstreet Rd, Orlando, FL 32824, will sell the following vehicles and/or vessels. Seller reserves the right to bid. Sold as is, no warranty. Seller guarantees no title, terms cash. Seller reserves the right to refuse any or all bids; WBAGC4311K3317396 1989 / BMW WBAGC4311K3317396 1989 / BMW 1HGEM22953L086587 2003 / HOND JN8AE2KP5G9153561 2016 / NISS 4T1BK1EB1HU251063 2017 / TOYT 2HKRM3H39EH566194 2014 / HOND 1122598865 1972 / VOLK 3HAEUMML0ML166478 2021 / INTL 2HGFC2F64MH522268 2021 / HOND WAUDACF58MA015894 2021 / AUDI JTMY1RFV9LD046706 2020 / TOYT. NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE: ADAM AYED ENTERPRISES LLC gives Notice of Foreclosure of Lien and intent to sell these vehicles on 5/27/2022, 09:00 am at 9712 RECYCLE CENTER RD ORLANDO, FL 32824- 8146, pursuant to subsection 713.78 of the Florida Statutes. ADAM AYED ENTERPRISES LLC reserves the right to accept or reject any and/or all bids. 4T1BE32K02U546640 2002 TOYT 3VWDF71K85M638989 2005 VOLK 1G2ZF58B174127419 2007 PONT 1NP5DU9XX7D741351 2007 PTRB 5E0AJ14428G209330 2008 COTT 1N4AL2APXAN405814 2010 NISS 1FTYR2XM8HKB56204 2017 FORD 1FM5K7F86KGB16167 2019 FORD 53NBE1029K1072012 2019 DIMN. NOTICE OF SALE The following vehicles will be sold at Public Sale for cash to satisfy lien pursuant to F.S. 713.78 on May 31, 2022 at 9:00 am at National Towing and Recovery, 6408 Old Cheney Hwy., Orlando, FL. (407) 273-5880 2007 NISS 5N1AR18U77C613549 2011 MAZD JM1BL1VFXB1901571
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Legal, Public Notices NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE Extra Space Storage will hold a public auction to sell personal property described below belonging to those individuals listed below on May 27, 2022 at the locations indicated: Store 1333: 13125 S John Young Pkwy, Orlando, FL 32837, 407.516.7005 @ 10:00am: William Rodriguez- household items; Evolved by JU LLC- mattress, office furniture; Howard Sloan- household items; Benjamin Ward- luggage, radio, cooler. Store 1631: 5753 Hoffner Ave. Orlando FL 32822, 407.212.5890 @10:15 am Trisha Grim, household goods; German A Hernandez Olaya, paperwork, boxes, clothes. Store 7057: 13597 S. Orange Ave Orlando FL 32824, 407.910.2087 @ 10:30 Am: Brian Baez- Bins: Sagely ShubertHousehold, Home Office: Brandon Bramwell- Furniture, Boxes. Store 7107: 6174 S Goldenrod Rd, Orlando, FL 32822 (407) 955-4137 @10:45 Am. Brian Winn housegoods Store 7143: 6035 Sand Lake Vista Dr, Orlando FL 32819, 407.337.6665 @ 11:00 am Kathy Rene - clothes, bags, boxes / Tiesha Bailey - chair, dresser, boxes, clothes, totes, shelves / Jennifer Smith - boxes, personal papers, totes / Paul Contreras – printer, boxes, pictures, totes / Paul Contreras – lots of plastic bins and boxes / Mike Sammon – bed, couch, mattress, stereo, TV, bags, boxes Store 7306: 408 N Primrose Dr. Orlando FL 32803, 321.285.5021 @ 12:15 pm Timothy Johnson, Drone, instruments, jack, chair, stereo, boxes, sport equipment, totes, toys. Store 7590: 7360 Sand Lake Rd, Orlando FL 32819, 407.634.4449 @ 11:45 am Jeremy Only- boxes; Christina Whiteside- House wears, Clothing, Toys, Boxes; Ricardo Castro- Bed, home appliances boxes. Store 8136: 3501 S. Orange Blossom Trail, Orlando Fl 32839, 407.488.9093 @12:00 pm: Ashana Farrington- Furniture, Washer, Tires / Maxon Mathurin- Furniture, Baby Gear / John Keedy- Exercise Equipment, Furniture, Totes / Christopher Henderson- Toys, Furniture, Rims / Kirk Shields- Furniture, Shelves / George Peralta- Furniture / Destiny Jones- Furniture, Shelves / Sean Smith- Furniture Store 8460: 4390 Pleasant Hill Rd Kissimmee FL 34746 (407) 4298867 @ 12:15 PM: Lilibeth Castillo Drum set, Mic stand supplies Piano, Rosemary McGill Table, couch & 2 beds,Michael Upcroft Clothes and end tables some boxes, Takisha Cornelius-Coachman Boxes & bins. Store 8612: 1150 Brand Ln Kissimmee, FL 34744 (407) 414-5303 @12:30 pm. Justin Morales household items, Diego Avonce household goods. Store 8753 @ 540 Cypress Pkwy Poinciana FL 34759 (863) 240-0879 @ 12:45PM Adayn Rodriguez Household items, Kattrina Burnham Household items Store 8931: 3280 Vineland Rd Kissimmee FL 34746, 407.720.7424 @ 1:30PM pm: Kendra Tilme household items, stereo, toys, Aldo Gastelbondo entertainment center, boxes, Jaquan Carnegie bags, boxes, Siquan Martin totes, bed, clothes, toys, Vivan Tyree changing table, suitcases, projector screen, household furnitur Store 8778: 3820 S Orange Ave Orlando FL 32806, 321.270.3440 @ 1:00 pm Harry Gadson bedding. The auction will be listed and advertised on www. storagetreasures.com. Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the above referenced facility in order to complete the transaction. Extra Space Storage may refuse any bid and may rescind any purchase up until the winning bidder takes possession of the personal property.
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NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE: NEW GENERATION TOWING AND RECOVERY, LLC. gives Notice of Foreclosure of Lien and intent to sell these vehicles on the following dates, 08:00 am at 2603 OLD DIXIE HIGHWAY KISSIMMEE, FL 34744, pursuant to subsection 713.78 of the Florida Statutes. NEW GENERATION TOWING AND RECOVERY, LLC. reserves the right to accept or reject any and/or all bids. MAY 25, 2022 L2BB9NCCXMM112296 2021 JBLC MAY 26, 2022 1N4AL3AP7EN361833 2014 NISS MAY 27, 2022 2C4RDGCG1CR115701 2012 DODG MAY 29, 2022 1FTYR14V21PB31444 2001 FORD 5FNRL18053B079938 2003 HOND NOTICE OF PUBLIC SALE: NEW GENERATION TOWING AND RECOVERY, LLC. gives Notice of Foreclosure of Lien and intent to sell these vehicles on the following dates, 08:00 am at 10850 COSMONAUT BLVD ORLANDO, FL 32824, pursuant to subsection 713.78 of the Florida Statutes. NEW GENERATION TOWING AND RECOVERY, LLC. reserves the right to accept or reject any and/ or all bids. MAY 26, 2022 1FTRW08L71KA91939 2001 FORD WMWRC33576TJ74384 2006 MINC MAY 27, 2022 4T1BF3EK2BU152517 2011 TOYT MAY 28, 2022 1C3CCCBB2FN688555 2015 CHRY
NOTICE OF SALE Vehicles will be sold as is, no warranty. Seller reserves the right to refuse any bid. Terms of bids are cash only. Buyer must have funds on hand at time of sale: 2002 Honda VIN# 1HGEM22902L016493 2017 Chevy VIN# 3G1BF6SMXHS540785 To be sold at auction at 8:00 am. on June 1, 2022 at 7301 Gardner Street, Winter Park, FL. 32792 Constellation Towing & Recovery LLC
Household Goods Store Space Millenia, 4912 S. John Young Pkwy, Orlando, FL, 32839. Palacios, Luis Household Items; Smith, Travis Household Items; Moore, Tammie Household Items; Nombre, Aerial Household Items. Purchases must be paid for at the time of purchase by cash only. All purchased items are sold as is, where is, and must be removed at the time of the sale. Sale is subject to cancellation in the event of settlement between owner and obligated party. Dated 5/4 and 5/11, 2022.
Employment Preschool Teacher; Prep materials & classrooms for class activities. Establish clear objectives for all lessons, units, & projects; Prepare reports on students & activities as req’d by admin. Admin tests to help determine children’s developmental levels. Plan individual & group age-appropriate activities to actively maintain frequent communications w/ parents . Help w/ meal & snack prep, feeding children; Always supervise children maintaining a secure & safe environment for children to play & learn in. Reqs CDA certificate; cpr and first aid certification; strong oral & written communication skills & basic computer skills; must clear full background check & must pass health screening; high school diploma, Company: A Growing Place Academy, INC, 18555 Old Cheney Hwy, Orlando, FL 32820; email: agrowingplaceacademy2@gmail.com PROCUREMENT SPECIALIST. For Canal Equipment USA, Inc. a FL Co.: 4542 Lb McLeod Rd, Ste E, Orlando, FL 32811. Reqs: 2+ yrs exp. Supervising purchasing/bidding processes. SAP proficient. Mail Resume to Co: 4542 Lb McLeod Rd, Ste E, Orlando, FL 32811. Ref: PS TECHNOLOGY ServiceNow Inc is accepting resumes for the following positions in Orlando, FL: Senior Technical Support Engineer (ref# 5823): Gather information on the customized customer code such as actions performed, input, output, and logic being used to process the data. Mail resume to ServiceNow Inc, Attn: Global Mobility, 2225 Lawson Lane, Santa Clara, CA 95054. Resume must include job title, job ref. # 5823, full name, email & mailing address. No phone calls. Must be legally authorized to work in U.S. without sponsorship. EOE.
NOTICE OF SALE ADVERTISEMENT OF SALE NOTICE IS HEREBY GIVEN that the undersigned intends to sell the personal property described below to enforce a lien imposed on said property under The Florida Self Storage Facility Act. Bidding takes place on lockerfox.com and concludes Friday the 20th day of April, 2022 at 9:00 AM Store Space Sanford - Storage, 3980 E. Lake Mary Blvd., Sanford, FL, 32773. Salezak, Thomas Household Items. Store Space Orlando NOBT, 8235 North Orange Blossom Trail, Orlando, FL, 32810. Nichols, Benjamin Household Items; Gonzalez, Virginia Household Goods; Vance, Tyler Household Items; Soto, Carlos Household Items; Colvard, Muriel Household Goods; Allen, Duran Household Goods; Pernell, Howard Household goods; Manktelow, Jonathan P Household Items; Olsen, Terry Household Items; arredondo, Carolina Household Items; St Fleurant, Juliana Household Items; Sharkey, Kristi Household; Antunez, Richard Household Items; Latincic, Sasa Household Items; stutts, carlton Household Items; Bozeman, Brad
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Facilities Project Coordinator City of Orlando 6517407
GO TO ORLANDOJOBS.COM & ENTER THE JOB NUMBER IN KEYWORD FIELD TO LOCATE THIS POSTION
Mgr, Strategic Sourcing Orlando Health 6517388 Database Operations Manager Boys & Girls Club of Central Florida 6517033 Attractions Attendant Universal Orlando 6517032
Camp Counselor SeaWorld Orlando 6512714
Forklift Operator - Night Warehouse Performance Food Group / PFG 6516995
Human Resources Coordinator - Caribe Royale Hotel Caribe Royale Orlando 6516943
Deputy Sheriff - Court Security Deputy (CSD) Part-time Orange County Sheriff’s Office 6516228
Senior Companion Program Manager Volunteers for Community Impact, Inc. 6516221
Human Capital Generalist II Frontline Insurance 6512620
Customer Service - Work from Home Omni Interactions 6515260
Office Manager Administrative Assistant OrlandoJobs.com 6512869
Medical Records Tech – Mail Clerk Orlando Orthopaedic Center 6515229
Residential Electrician Terry’s Electric Inc. 6512853
Sr. Corporate Recruiter (Insurance) Insurance Office of America ( IOA ) 6512852
Human Resources Auto Litigation Claim Specialist (L&D) Representative Client Operations Support BCC Engineering, LLC Co-Teacher Family Center, GreatInsuranceJobs.com Specialist 6515196 Titusville YMCA Family 6517023 401k Generation Center 6515999 YMCA of Central Florida Executive Assistant 6516935 Second Harvest Food Food & Beverage Bank of Central Florida Procurement. Attendant 6512816 Procurement Analyst.3804 Property & Casualty Palmas Restaurant Group Line Cook Polk County Board of Licensed Agent - Inbound 6514070 Twin Peaks County Commissioners Customer Service 6516934 6517012 TTEC Personal Lines (Insurance 6515935 Customer Service Agency) Customer Representative Streets Maintenance Service Representative CHILD PROTECTION Energy Air Inc. Worker (CSR) INVESTIGATOR 6513902 City of Casselberry Insurance By Ken Brown, Seminole County Sheriff’s Executive Director 6516930 Inc. Office City District 6512814 6517009 6515890 Shuttle Bus Driver Academy Bus Memory Market Senior Laboratory 6513193 Coordinator Installation Administrative FlexPoint - Manager, Manager Give Kids The World Coordinator Business Development Seminole State College of 6516403 FAS Windows & Doors Florida Virtual School Florida 6512807 6517007 6515887 Human Resources Coordinator Reservations Agent S.I. Goldman Company Embassy Suites Orlando Director, Human Administrative Assistant Inc. Lake Buena Vista South Resources ll Lab Specialist - Game Orange County 6512873 Embassy Suites Orlando University of Central Development Government Lake Buena Vista South Florida Full Sail University 6515885 6516402 6512739 6517005 50
ORLANDO WEEKLY ● MAY 11-17, 2022 ● orlandoweekly.com
Security Officer (PartTime) Rollins College 6511785
FRONT LINE SALES EXECUTIVE-NON LICENSED Hilton Grand Vacations 6510158 Marketing / Sales Account Manager JVC Broadcasting 6510010 Junior Project Manager Nationwide Exteriors 6510006
Full Time - Prep Cook Ole Red 6509382
Hotel Concierge / Attraction Ticket Sales All Guest Services 6508337 Human Resources Coordinator Finfrock DesignManufacture-Construct, LLC 6508336
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ORLANDO WEEKLY ● MAY 11-17, 2022 ● orlandoweekly.com