metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
3
NEWS & VIEWS
Feedback
Readers respond to Randiah Camille Green’s cover story about Detroit artists experimenting with NFTs and cryptocurrency.
Just like Plato’s chair, this, to me, is great news for art. Although already oversaturated with nonsense, there is great work to be found. —Erin Katie Lenchner, Facebook NFTs are the new Beanie Babies. —Frank Cayenne, Facebook NFTs are bad. Don’t get suckered into buying one. NFT scammers are recruiting artists to fool people into thinking that Ts can be beneficial. ut it’s all a gigantic
scam. The concept of NFTs collapses when the scammers run out of “greater fools” willing to spend real dollars on magic beans. —Colin Oatley, Facebook I read the entire article and NFTs still sound like bullshit money laundering. —@kel_belle83, Instagram
Vol. 42 | No. 20 | March 9-15, 2022
News & Views Feedback ............................... 4 News ...................................... 6 Informed Dissent ................ 10 The Incision......................... 12
This is the third article Metro Times has run about NFTs and they *all* have a positive spin, barely touching on any of the problems. Makes me think the owners of MT are invested in crypto... —@ChrisWhy, Twitter
Feature Pluck of the Irish: Detroit’s St. Patrick’s Day parade is back ................................. 14
Editor’s note: The editorial team is not invested in crypto. You’re reading a free newspaper, we have no money to invest.
What’s Going On Weekly calendar................... 20 Music Sir Chloe..................................24 Notes .......................................28 Food Review ................................. 32 Bites ..................................... 34 Weed One-Hitters .......................... 36 Culture Film: Death On the Nile ....... 38 Savage Love ......................... 40 Horoscopes .......................... 42
Publisher - Chris Keating Associate Publisher - Jim Cohen
EDITORIAL Editor in Chief - Lee DeVito Digital Content Editor - Alex Washington Investigative Reporter - Steve Neavling Staff Writer - Randiah Camille Green
ADVERTISING Associate Publisher - Jim Cohen Regional Sales Director Danielle Smith-Elliott Multimedia Account Executive Jessica Frey Account Manager, Classifieds - Josh Cohen
BUSINESS/OPERATIONS Business Support Specialist - Josh Cohen Controller - Kristy Dotson
CREATIVE SERVICES Art Director - Evan Sult Production Manager - Sean Bieri Graphic Designer - Aspen Smit
CIRCULATION Circulation Manager - Annie O’Brien
EUCLID MEDIA GROUP Chief Executive Officer - Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers - Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP of Digital Services - Stacy Volhein Digital Operations Coordinator - Jaime Monzon euclidmediagroup.com National Advertising - Voice Media Group 1-888-278-9866 vmgadvertising.com Detroit Metro Times P.O. Box 20734 Ferndale, MI 48220 metrotimes.com Got a story tip or feedback? Email letters@metrotimes.com or call 313-202-8011 Want to advertise with us? Call 313-961-4060 Want us dropped off at your business, or have questions about circulation? Call 313-202-8049 Get social: @metrotimes Detroit distribution: The Detroit Metro Times is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader.
On the cover:
Photo by Michelle Gerard / Stock Detroit
Printed on recycled paper Printed By
4 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
248-620-2990
The Detroit Metro Times is published every Wednesday by Euclid Media Group. Verified Audit Member
Copyright: The entire contents of the Detroit Metro Times are copyright 2021 by Euclid Media Group LLC. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. The publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed above. Prior written permission must be granted to Metro Times for additional copies. | Metro Times may be distributed only by Metro Times’ authorized distributors and independent contractors. Subscriptions are available by mail inside the U.S. for six months at $80 and a yearly subscription for $150. Include check or money order payable to: Metro Times Subscriptions, P.O. Box 20734, Ferndale, MI, 48220. (Please note: Third Class subscription copies are usually received 3-5 days after publication date in the Detroit area.) Most back issues obtainable for $7 prepaid by mail.
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
5
NEWS & VIEWS A ‘slippery slope’ for gun owners? Good. How Mr. and Mrs. Crumbley could spark a movement for gun responsibility By Joe Lapointe
When James and Jennifer
Crumbley walked in and out of that Oakland County courtroom last month, their chains and shackles clinked and jingled like bells on a horse-drawn sleigh. Perhaps it was appropriate that their entrances and exits evoked the wintry sound of an old-timey Michigan Christmas. Because when Mr. Crumbley bought that gun for his disturbed 15-year-old son late last November, he and his wife gave the hand-held murder machine to young Ethan as an early holiday gift. Less than a week later — after Mrs. Crumbley took Ethan to the shooting range to practice — their son allegedly slaughtered four fellow students at Oxford High School and wounded six others, plus a teacher. Despite a warning from the school about Ethan’s behavior, his folks failed to take him home earlier that day because they had better things to do. In a bold and possibly precedent-setting move, Oakland County Prosecutor Karen McDonald is charging the parents with four counts each of involuntary manslaughter. In last month’s preliminary hearing, they were bound over for trial by Judge Julie Nicolson of 52-3 District Court in Rochester Hills. Theoretically, the Crumbleys might have been set free with charges dismissed or at least a lesser bond. Instead, the judge called them a flight risk and sent them back behind bars to await a trial that could help lead the state and the nation to more commonsense gun safety laws. “There was extensive testimony that Ethan Crumbley was a troubled young man,” the judge said, “and they purchased him a gun which he did use.” Their son is planning an insanity defense. He heard ghosts and drew demons. But how deeply does the guilt go in a case like this? Consider the chain of custody. There are only a few figurative fingerprints on this SP 2002 Sig Sauer 9mm semi-automatic handgun. Of course, there is the shooter. His fingerprint is even on the trigger. Of course, there are parents, who encouraged him to use it. But what about the store that sold the gun for just under $500? The woman behind that counter took the witness stand. No, she is not
Jennifer and James Crumbley, the parents of alleged Oxford High shooter Ethan Crumbley.
charged. She just recited routine details of the purchase and verified the presence of the son when dad made the deal. She made it clear that adults aren’t supposed to purchase guns for kids. “Don’t lie for the other guy,” says a sign in the gun shop. And the only other party in the chain of custody for this particular pistol is the gunmaker. Of course, the gunmaker would never go on trial — at least not yet — even though the product, when used as designed, may result in death. It’s like tobacco, only quicker. The gun “rights” lobby and its media propaganda wing will insist that conviction of the parents, in this case, could lead to a slippery slope that could eventually lead to gun dealers and gunmakers, and cause the courts to reinterpret the Second Amendment and the alleged “right to bear arms.” And that may well be so. And, if they are right in their fears, it is worth sliding down that slippery slope hard and fast and trying to stick the landing. It is hard to be fully optimistic. Even if McDonald wins the case at this level, the verdict would likely be appealed and possibly overturned. Imagine how the Trump-packed Supreme Court would treat it. McDonald’s argument — that
6 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
parents should be held responsible for their son committing mass murder at a school — would be a new interpretation of the law, especially in a state with no rules about locking up these efficient little death machines. A recent deeply reported Detroit Free Press story interviewed Bill Swor, a criminal defense attorney who said the parenting of the Crumbleys was “not a crime.” Many other legal experts agree and say the only way they could be held criminally responsible is if they explicitly knew their son planned to do this at this time. The prosecution argues that parents should at least check junior’s backpack for weapons or vows to kill in his journal. Not so, said Swor. “Where do they come up with these obligations?” Swor told the Free Press. “There’s no law that says they have to do any of these things . . . If they can’t prove that the parents actively had some hand in it, then this is not about the criminal law.” Perhaps his logic unintentionally makes the best argument in the case: That there should be a law against irresponsible parenting that leads to a gun massacre. And perhaps that sort of thinking might lead people to wonder if power-
COURTESY PHOTOS
ful handguns should not be so easily obtained by mentally ill people through the help of other irresponsible people, including parents. And if the courts won’t or can’t fix the problem, maybe Michigan’s gun-loving Republican Legislature can think about it. If you would excuse the metaphor, that is what makes this case a hill worth dying on for the gun safety movement. Even if McDonald loses, she has forced us to confront a current, uncomfortable reality that accepted gun use and current, lenient gun sales laws serve not only hunters and home protectors and “patriots,” but also fear-mongers and profiteers and the homicidally insane. On the video from the courtroom, both Crumbleys clinked quietly back to their cells with “Prisoner” written on their clothing. They shed a few tears earlier when they heard their son’s written words: “I hope my parents can forgive me for what I do.” But do they deserve any forgiveness? Already, they’ve been locked up for almost three months. They are paying a well-deserved price. Even if they beat the rap at one level or the other, their presence in court and behind bars has already sparked a positive legal flame. Let it catch.
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
7
NEWS & VIEWS The Best of the Rest
Task force for COVID-19 racial disparities finds success, but challenges lie ahead By Byline
At the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic, a disturbing trend emerged that worried health officials the virus was killing an alarming number of Black residents in Michigan. As a result, Gov. Gretchen Whitmer assembled the Michigan Coronavirus Task Force on Racial Disparities to examine the inequalities and develop a plan to reduce them. Chaired by Lt. Gov. Garlin Gilchrist II, the task force on Friday released a report that includes recommendations to better protect communities of color from the spread of COVID-19 and create structural change. “When we saw that COVID-19 was uniquely lethal in communities of color in Michigan, Governor Whitmer and I knew we had to act quickly,” Gilchrist said Friday. “Two years later, the successes of the Michigan Coronavirus Racial Disparities Task Force in balancing short-term needs with long- term goals have made it a national model on responding to racial disparities and flattening ine uities. ut we know there is more work to do – which is why I am proud to join the Task Force in releasing these recommendations to help us chart the way forward. Governor Whitmer and I look forward to continuing to work with the Task Force to protect Michigan communities and save lives.” The task force recommended improving the collection of racial data, decreasing the number of uninsured and underinsured residents, increasing vaccination rates, and continuing to fund neighborhood testing and inoculation sites. Just a month into the pandemic in April 2020, Black people made up 40% of the COVID-19 deaths and a third of the infections, even though they represented just 13.6% of the population.
Vaccination site at the Ford Wellness Center in the Samaritan Center in Detroit.
As local and state health scrambled to address the disparities, the numbers began to decline. Officials increased testing in communities of color, expanded testing to the most at-risk for serious illness, improved racial data collection and provided access to health care for marginalized populations, according to the report. But despite the progress, COVID-19 continues to impact a disproportionate number of Black people. “While Black or African American, American Indian or Alaska Native and Hispanic or Latino communities continue to be disproportionately impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic in Michigan, the Task Force has made significant progress in reducing disparities,” a task force report states. The death rate in the first wave was 15.6 per million and was reduced to 4.5 per million in the third wave. Michigan
8 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
has been able to sustain its progress on flattening disparities, even in the face of the spread of COVID-19.” One of the lingering challenges is disparities in the vaccination rate. In Michigan, only about 40% of Black residents are vaccinated, compared to nearly 53% of white residents. Former state Rep. Thomas Stallworth III, director of the task force, said it’s critical to act on the recommendations. “The members of this Task Force have worked tirelessly with the Michigan Department of Health and Human Services to develop recommendations to address this crisis that exposed the long-standing inequities for Black Michiganders that have persisted for decades,” Stallworth III said. “Now we must make sure to turn these recommendations into actions that reduce and eventually eliminate the racial disparities impacting the health of Michiganders.”
COURTESY PHOTO
State House legislation would create reparations fund
Democratic state lawmakers are calling on the Legislature to approve a reparations fund for Black Michigan residents. The Racial Equity and Reparations Fund Act in the state House would provide $1.5 billion in federal money for grants, loans, investments, and other assistance for businesses and economic developments that “promote the African-American community” in Michigan. A variety of state departments and agencies would be responsible for dolling out the funds, which would come from 13% in surcharges levied under the Michigan Strategic Fund Act and other sources. On Saturday, state Reps. Cynthia Johnson and Shri Thanedar spoke in
favor of the legislation at the Second Baptist Church on Monroe Street in Detroit. “We, as legislators, we see monies that are going places that will never reach the people and we say nothing,” Johnson said, according to The Detroit News. “That’s unconscionable.” Johnson said the money would not come from taxpayers. “We’re not asking for monies to go into anybody’s individual hands,” she said. “We’re not even asking the taxpayers to pay this. This bill would require any business, like General Motors, Ford Motor Company, any of the other businesses that come to the state of Michigan and ask for money. Those businesses would be required to pay a surcharge up front.” Whether Democrats can get support for the bill in the GOP-controlled House remains to be seen. Thanedar said the time has come for Michigan to acknowledge the impact of institutional racism. “Reparations are about making up for the generational wealth that was stolen from the Black community,” Thanedar said. “They’re about making up for depriving people of home ownership and community investment specifically on the basis of their skin color.” “More than anything,” Thanedar
“You have the absolute right to host whomever you would like at your brewery,” Indivisible Michigan tweeted. “We have the absolute right to not spend a dime on your beer or at your brewery. Choices have consequences.” added, “they’re about providing equal opportunity. The reparations fund will allow Black Michiganders to invest in homes, stock, retirement savings and more to help build generational wealth. It will also help build a safety net to protect families from economic recession that always disproportionately impacts communities of color. These bills will not solve everything, but they are an important piece of the puzzle.” On the city level, Detroit launched a task force that is responsible for making recommendations for reparations for Detroiters. Detroit voters approved the creation of a reparations commission in November. —Steve Neavling
Lansing brewery suddenly realizes it shouldn’t host ‘MAGA Mixer’
Public outcry has prompted a Lansing brewery to cancel a fundraising event it was hosting for supporters of former President Donald Trump. The “MAGA Mixer” was planned for March 26 at the Lansing Brewing Company at 518 E. Shiawasee St. The organizers – Republicans for National Renewal and Grand Opportunity USA (GOUSA) – were raising money for Trump-endorsed candidates by selling tickets to the mixer for $70 to $125. acklash from patrons flooded
social media, with many people saying they would never again frequent the brewery. “You have the absolute right to host whomever you would like at your brewery,” Indivisible Michigan tweeted. “We have the absolute right to not spend a dime on your beer or at your brewery. Choices have consequences.” On Sunday, the brewery said it was no longer hosting the event. “After learning more about the member mixer booked in our Stockhouse on 3/26, this event can no longer be held in our space — it has been cancelled,” Lansing Brewing Company wrote on Facebook. “As a brewery, we focus on great beer, great food, and providing a space for you, our community, with open doors — where people with di erent backgrounds and beliefs can come together, sit at a table, converse, use space for their event and toast great beer while eating great food.” More than 1,000 people responded, with many saying they will boycott the brewery. On the groups’ event page, organizers said the mixer was “centered around creating the unity needed among the grassroots to get all of Trump’s endorsed candidates across the finish line.” —Steve Neavling
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
9
NEWS & VIEWS Informed Dissent
Blood and oil, the remix By Jeffrey C. Billman
Having spent the last week earning my Ph.D. in Kremlinology from the University of Google, I’ll now explain how to quickly remove Russia from Ukraine without escalating the war into a continental or global or nuclear fight. … OK, I won’t. I’m not sure there is a good solution, let alone a quick one. If Russia didn’t have a nuclear arsenal that could wipe out life on Earth, Vladimir Putin wouldn’t have dared thumb his nose at NATO. If the West hadn’t pressured Ukraine into giving up its nuclear weapons in the 1990s, Russian forces wouldn’t be (slowly) trudging their way toward Kyiv. Then again, if an unstable, often corrupt breakaway Soviet republic had kept its nukes back then, who knows what might have happened? The experts I read and follow seem to think that Putin has already lost, at least in terms of long-term geopolitical goals. The economic sanctions — which this weekend he likened to an act of war — will devastate Russia’s economy. The Russian military has proven to be both inept — bogging down before reaching Kyiv, its supply lines running thin — and brutal, committing war crimes streamed live on the internet. “Winning” Ukraine will commit the ussians to fighting a years-long insurgency backed by Western money and guns (and covert operatives) while leaving the country isolated — except, perhaps, from China. To understand how badly things are going for the Kremlin, you need only see the country’s devolution from authoritarianism to totalitarianism in a week, with dissent made illegal, protesters arrested and subjected to lengthy prison terms, and independent media banned. That’s not the sort of thing countries waging righteous, victorious campaigns do. or the first time since Sept. 2, 200 , the est is unified against a common foe in a conflict with little moral gray area. This wasn’t the plan. Putin’s investment in Donald Trump was designed to weaken NATO, soften-
Shut down Putin’s oil, and the war ends.
SHUTTERSTOCK
Were we — as a country, as a civilization — able to take the longer view, this would be yet another lesson in the dire need to abandon fossil fuels. ing the ground for an expansion of Russian power into Ukraine. Had Trump been reelected, according to former national security adviser John Bolton, he would have abandoned the alliance. And it’s worth noting that Trump was first impeached for threatening to withhold defensive weapons from Ukraine unless Ukraine’s president ginned up dirt on Trump’s political adversary. Trump didn’t just spend his presidency disrupting Western alliances. He also acted as Putin’s propagandist: lobbying for Russia to rejoin the G-8, defending Putin’s invasion and annexation of Crimea, and praising him as strong. Trump’s supporters likewise found a fellow traveler in the ex-KGB man. “Christian” leader Franklin Graham applauded Putin’s crackdown on the LGBTQ community, and Tucker Carlson accused Ukraine of being a “pure client state of the United States State Department.” But Trump is now reduced to discussing global a airs with an aging golf pro and musing about framing China for attacks on Russia — which is, to be fair, the kind of strategy I might have conceived in sixth grade. While
10 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
the West has good reasons not to give Ukrainian president Volodymyr Zelenskyy the no-fly one he wants an actual act of war against an increasingly desperate nuclear enemy might not end well — the two other requests he made to Congress in a Zoom call last week have merit. First: Give them jets — surplus Russian-made Warsaw Pact jets, precisely. There’s no reason not to. Second: Embargo Russian oil and gas. That, as Oleg Ustenko explains in Project Syndicate, would doom Putin’s military adventurism, and quite possibly the regime itself. Ustenko writes: “Russia continues to export oil and gas. Indeed, the war has boosted the price for these products, benefiting the most important sector of the Russian economy. So, a week after it began, Western energy consumption is still financing ussia’s invasion of Ukraine, and the Russian elite is doing better than ever. There is no way around it: The only way to stop Russian President Vladimir Putin’s aggression is to impose a comprehensive boycott on all Russian energy products.” In anuary, oil and gas tari s ac-
counted for nearly half of Russia’s budget. If they go away, the government will collapse. That seems like a no-brainer. The U.S. could impose a sanctions scheme that, if fully enforced, would prevent ussian oil producers from profiting o of supply shortages. The problem price. The price of oil, which has been spiking since the Ukraine crisis began, would soar, raising prices at the pump. The Biden administration, which has been trying to tamp down concerns about inflation, would suddenly have to contend with $4.50/gallon gas until production elsewhere kicked in. And, of course, the most hawkish Republican today will blame Biden for his F-450’s gas bill tomorrow. A real embargo would also require the European Union to play ball, and the EU is very dependent on Russian natural gas. There are ways to accomplish this goal, especially in the short term. But they won’t be easy or cheap, and sacrifice in the name of far-away humanitarianism isn’t an easy political sell, no matter the cause. ere we as a country, as a civili ation — able to take the longer view, this would be yet another lesson in the dire need to abandon fossil fuels. Beyond the fact that burning them is literally killing our planet, their production tends to enrich and empower the worst people. (It’s hard to imagine a war for solar panels.) So long as there is oil, blood will be spilled to keep it flowing, whether in the Middle East or Eastern Europe.
Fri 3/11 Francis de Carlo / Alluvial Fans / Glamour Machine (indie) Doors @9 $5 Cover
Sat 3/12 a PARKHOUSE NIGHT (funk/soul/house) Doors @9 $5 Cover
Sun 3/13
OPEN @11am
St. Patty’s Day Parade Day & 313 Day! Mon 3/14 FREE POOL Tues 3/15 B. Y. O. R. Bring Your Own Records You Can DJ!
@ 9pm NO COVER! Deep Eddy PROMO
Coming Up: 3/17 St. Patty’s Day Celebration 3/18 Let It Rot / Gravebloom / Mafia Birdhouse (metal) 3/19 Billy Swivs & His Operatives 3/20 Nain Rouge / Something Elegant Lady DJ 4/02 BOOTY MUZIK (twerk house/ghetto tech)
EMPLOYMENT Centene Management Company, LLC seeks Senior Data Engineers in Detroit, MI to design, develop, and maintain real-time processing applications. Design, develop, and maintain real-time data pipelines. Req’d: Bachelor’s degree in Comp Apps, Comp Sci, Comp Eng, SW Eng, or rltd, and 3 years rel work exp. To apply, visit Centene’s web page at http://jobs.centene. com/#careers. Create a candidate profile and apply to requisition 00AF5. EOE.
Weekly Drink Special (M-Th) Jim Beam Shot & 9oz Miller Draft $5 JELLO SHOTS $1
IN LOVING MEMORY Robert “Rico Africa” Berry 02/22/22
Celebration of Life:
The Old Miami April 16, 2022 @4pm
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
11
NEWS & VIEWS The Incision
Understanding the CDC’s new masking guidelines By Abdul El-Sayed
On Friday, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued new COVID guidelines, declaring it safe for most healthy people across the country to take o their masks. eyond simple on or o recommendations, these guidelines o er a new framework for masking. efore we cut into the guidance itself, it’s worth taking a quick stroll down memory lane. The first reversed its recommendation around masking last May, after the initial demand for vaccinations started to ebb. irector Rochelle Walensky announced new guidance allowing vaccinated people to go without masks in all indoor settings. Hot Vax Summer was on the way! ut it was clear from the jump that the policy guidance was a gamble. I wrote about why in these pages. On the one hand, [this CDC guidance] could incentivize enough people to finally get their vaccines to get back to life as they once knew it so that all of us can get back to life as we once knew it,” I wrote. On the other, it could backfire the unvaccinated may free-ride on the policy to forego not just their vaccines, but their masks too. Putting themselves and others at risk in the process, they could perpetuate the pandemic. At that time, the CDC was, inadvertently, declaring victory over a pandemic whose wiles we were only beginning to fully understand. As case rates began to quickly tick back up, we came to understand that vaccination may not o er complete protection. That came into full relief after a study was released following a 466-person outbreak at a public gathering in Provincetown, in which more than three in four of those infected had been vaccinated. n analysis of the cycle thresholds a measure of the viral load and capacity to infect others among vaccinated people showed that they were similar to unvaccinated people. On that information, irector Walensky announced a reversal of the masking guidelines to recommend
Masks: How they work, what they get right… and what they don’t.
universal indoor masking in communities with “substantial or high” rates of transmission. These are the guidelines we’ve been living with ever since through delta and omicron. The ’s initial gamble failed. The public had seen the .S.’ most important public health agency reverse course again. Soon after, with the advent of omicron, nearly the entire country was pitched into universal masking territory. hereas delta was more transmissible, more vaccine evasive, and more severe than previous variants, omicron traded severity for more of the other two features. hile maintaining public masking guidelines through the omicron surge was clearly important, omicron posed a unique set of circumstances as it abated: how should the reduction in severity change COVID precautions from here? This is a loaded uestion that explodes quickly into a series of other ones. O I is not gone. ut then it will likely never be. So what level of risk are we willing to tolerate? What are the equity implications of any risk at all? What are the risks of another variant that could cause a major outbreak and how do we hedge against them? States and municipalities began answering these questions quickly, as nearly every single state in the country red or blue repealed universal mask mandates. And that left the CDC increasingly out of step with prevailing sentiment. The was once bitten, twice shy. They had declared victory and failed before. That’s the context in which the introduced its new guidance. et’s cut in.
12 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
SHUTTERSTOCK
How the guidelines work
Rather than recommend masks simply based on the level of COVID transmission, the guidelines stipulate three metrics around which county-by-county decisions should be made. long with the community transmission rate, the guidelines consider the COVID hospitalization rate and the proportion of hospital beds occupied by COVID patients. sing an algorithm, counties are given a low, medium, or high risk designation, which is updated weekly. In low-risk settings, public indoor masking is not recommended. In highrisk settings, it is. nd in medium-risk settings, individuals are recommended to speak to your healthcare provider. et’s unpack some of the rationale behind the new guidance. eyond the risk of infection (COVID case rates) the guidelines consider the severity of cases and the risk to the healthcare system. The severity of symptoms are reflected in the rate of hospitalizations, or the number of new COVID hospitalizations over time. Presumably, if there were a new, more severe variant, the number of hospitalizations would rise, triggering new masking recommendations. The guidelines also aim to protect the healthcare system which is why the CDC included the proportion of hospital beds in their calculation.
What the guidelines get right
First and foremost, these new guidelines meet the pandemic where it is. Cases are down substantially across the country and hospitalization and death rates are plummeting as well. States and municipalities have rushed to
downscale their masking re uirements. Some have argued that it’s still too early for this kind of action, that they’re bowing to political pressure. Thousands are dying every day, they argue. ut as I’ve written in the past, death rates are a lagging indicator that do not reflect the future risk of COVID illness and death considering future trends. e’ve got to “skate to where the puck is going,” not where it is. There’s also an under appreciated cost of dissonance between federal guidance and state and local guidance. ontinuing to stay out of step with state and local governments who are also, ostensibly, basing their recommendations on “the science,” adds to the frustration and mistrust in experts. The open uestion I’d ask those who think that the CDC is acting hastily is “if not now, then when?” Most of these critics admit that we’ll never get to a ero O I scenario but they remain uncomfortable with the persistence of the disease. That cognitive dissonance is a recipe for continuing maximal O I precautions ad infinitum. They worry that scaling back guidelines could allow for yet another surge. What’s critical is that these guidelines allow for masking to be recommended again if that scenario should arise. The has learned its lesson about prematurely declaring victory. Though, as I’ve written in these pages, omicron has erected a giant immunity barrier between us and the next high-volume variant; there remains the risk that this is not, in fact, the end of the pandemic. The new guidance recogni es that. In that respect, the new guidelines also reflect some hard-earned humility on the part of the . hen irector alensky first announced that masks could come o in ay of 202 , one of the aims was to incentivize more mericans to get vaccinated. This was a fundamental misreading of the motivations of those who were remaining unvaccinated in the first place. The ’s recommendation that unvaccinated people continue to wear masks simply didn’t factor into their choices if they cared what the CDC guidance was, after all, they would have gotten vaccinated already. ithout direct enforcement of a vax-or-mask requirement, what the recommended didn’t register.
What the guidelines get wrong
That said, the guidelines have some real flaws. irst, though the guidelines do hedge against the risk of another variant or surge, they may not operate uickly enough. pidemiologist r. llie
The new guidelines reflect some hard-earned humility on the part of the CDC. Murray wrote a fantastic thread on this. Her point is that because the CDC’s on-ramp to masking is based on hospitalizations, which are a lagging indicator, they may not work fast enough to initiate masking when it’s the most effective — to stop all those hospitalizations from happening in the first place. In addition to using hospitalizations as an indicator for severity, the guidance should include an early indicator of potential severity. This could be the change in case counts or test positivity — which occurs quickly and can predict the overall volume of illness a new variant or surge could create. These guidelines also raise profound equity considerations. Millions of immunocompromised Americans live in constant fear of COVID, even as risks subside. The CDC attempts to address their concerns with the medium risk indicator, in which individuals are told to consult their healthcare provider — ostensibly so that that provider can instruct them to keep wearing a mask. But high-risk individuals deserve a more coordinated e ort to protect them. One approach is to guarantee highquality masks, delivered at home. Though masking works best in the collective — because it protects the wearer and others they encounter — we’ve learned that well-fitting 5 masks o er wearers high- uality protection, particularly in settings where case rates and exposure risk are low. However, these masks can be hard to obtain. aking the e ort to deliver these to high-risk Americans — frankly to all Americans — would help. Further, not everyone has access to a primary care physician. You all know my answer here — but that’s beyond the scope of this discussion. (Actually, it’s really not. But you’ve heard me tout Medicare for All enough.) Vaccination remains the most important deterrent to another COVID surge. While the CDC has learned that it has little impact on individuals’ choices to get vaccinated, it missed an important opportunity to influence policymakers. accine verification is extremely powerful. fter ew ork ity mandated vaccines for its public employees, less than 1% of employees were ultimately dismissed over noncompliance. What’s troubling now is that state and local governments are beginning to back down on verification. I would have liked the CDC to include county-level vaccination rates and vaccination verification policy in their algorithm. ot only does
this shape the risk of COVID exposure in a given community, but it incentivizes local communities to continue to press the vaccination e ort. fter all, our best deterrence against another major surge is to vaccinate yet more people. Yet that would have made the algorithm even bulkier, which is a final challenge to this guidance. Throughout the pandemic the failed to o er simple, clear communication. And while the low, medium, or high risk designations are easy to understand, the system for determining them is not. I hope that the CDC will press hard to explain the algorithm to the public to improve buy-in and understanding.
What now?
After nearly two years of this, I understand the worries over taking the masks o now. or me, they come in the form of my 4-year-old little girl, who still isn’t old enough for the vaccine. We live in a community that is at “medium” risk, though it will likely fall to low risk soon. Thankfully, everyone in our family is healthy. Sarah and I are relaxing a bit when it comes to small indoor gatherings or eating out in restaurants. We’re not going to let the fear of COVID keep us from enjoying the things we’ve always loved to do. We may still elect to wear our masks in high-traffic indoor places, we may not as cases continue to subside. For us, it’s important that we do our part to normalize masks for people who may yet need them — like our daughter. But the real test of the guidance isn’t when masks come o , but if masks ever need to come back on. That’s the scenario in which trust in the science and communication behind the guidance will be critical. Let’s hope we never get there. In that respect, the masking guidelines are potentially less important than several other things the federal government must be doing right now: vaccinating more people both at home and abroad. While the vaccines are not a fail-safe against transmission, they vastly reduce the risk. Perhaps more importantly, they reduce the risk of serious illness and death — and the burden on the healthcare system. But if we want to head the next variant o at the pass, we must continue to manufacture and ship vaccines abroad. Originally published March 1 in The Incision. Get more at abdulelsayed. substack.com.
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
13
FEATURE
MICHELLE GERARD/STOCK DETROIT
Pluck of the Irish Detroit’s St. Patrick’s Day parade is back — but it’s not just about booze in Corktown By Lee DeVito It’s no exaggeration to say that St. Patrick’s Day is a really big deal for Pauly Brady. As frontman of Detroit-based Irish rock band Stone Clover, he normally plays a ton of gigs in March. His roots in Detroit’s Irish community run deep — his grandparents built downtown’s Old Shillelagh bar, and he grew up helping out there on St. Patrick’s Day, taking a shuttle to Corktown for the annual parade and festivities along Michigan Avenue. But in 2020, the news that the COVID-19 pandemic had arrived in Michigan was felt the day before St.
Patrick’s Day, when Governor Gretchen Whitmer ordered all restaurants and bars to close by p.m. e ectively canceling St. Patrick’s Day. “That was like telling the kid Christmas was canceled on Christmas Eve,” Brady recalls. “It’s like our Super Bowl.” He adds, “To just lose that all of a sudden, it’s beyond words.” Days earlier, the band was driving to Grand Rapids for a gig at Founders Brewing Co. The show was canceled on their way there. The true scope of the pandemic became clearer in the coming days, as the
14 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
limited shutdowns turned into a fullscale monthslong stay-at-home order. Brady also worked as a stagehand at the Masonic Temple, and that work dried up with the pause on live music. When asked how he survived, Brady deadpans: “Ramen noodles.” “I lost everything all at once. It was pretty rough,” Brady says. “But here we are, hoping to get it all going again.” With the virus appearing to ebb, this year marks the return of St. Patrick’s ay parade in etroit for the first time since 2019. The parade is scheduled for 1 p.m. on Sunday, March 13.
Brady says he was completely understanding of the shutdowns. In December 2019, he was bedridden for weeks with what he has since come to believe was an early case of COVID-19, with symptoms including fevers, fatigue, and respiratory problems. Since there were no tests available at that time, rady never had it confirmed. ut this summer, a study from the National Institute of Health found evidence of possible COVID-19 cases in the U.S. as early as December, weeks before the first documented case. If true, that would make Brady’s
among the very first O I - cases in the country. ll the doctors I’ve spoken to said, If that wasn’t O I , I don’t know what the hell that was, he says. ecause I’m a healthy and active -year-old male who doesn’t smoke. The illness left rady with lingering symptoms, and he now uses an inhaler. I was the sickest I’ve ever been in my life, he says. I lost 0 pounds in a week because I couldn’t get out of bed. I was waking up in the middle of the night gasping for air, over and over again. Since he believes he survived OI - , rady says he supported the shutdowns, even though it cost him his income. fter what I experienced firsthand, I was 00 like, I don’t want anybody else to get this, he says. nd if my industry or my profession has to change or move because of it, I’d rather have that than see innocent people su er. He adds, I understand why people were upset about the lockdown, but I don’t understand why they would want other people to experience it. It’s usually people who didn’t have a close tie to it. It was far away from them. ut it was so close to me. I had friends who lost their parents. He now sees a vocal coach to learn how to breathe and sing.
I’m not giving up, he says. I’m not going to let it stop me. uring the two years of downtime, his band stayed busy, performing as part of an rts, eats ats drive-in concert series to help raise money for other musicians in need. rady says he also wrote and recorded new music, and a plan to uickly record an P ballooned into a larger, more ambitious project. I was laying in bed for months and months, and I kept a guitar next to me, he says. I reali ed that all the songs that I’d had partially written and collected, and even some of the last album, were part of this giant story. nd so I’ve written a huge concept album about a young man from Ireland, who winds up in orld ar I and immigrates to merica and falls in love and ends up in etroit. The first P is called Thieves, a part of a larger conceptual series rady says will be called eath to the ife of iley. There’s an old saying, living the life of iley,’ which means living the good life,’ he explains. It’s an old Isles thing. rady says he’s welcoming the return of the St. Patrick’s ay parade with a mix of excitement and nervousness. e’re opening up, which is great, he says. t the same time, you’ve got
that caution and that trepidation where you’re just like, et’s hope this works.’ This year, he’s working on a new idea for his band. He got a flatbed trailer from the etroit Parade o., which he plans to have towed by the Old Shillelagh’s shuttle bus down the parade route, with his band performing on top. fter the parade, Stone lover will head to P ’s ager House to perform as part of the bar’s St. Patrick’s ays festivities, a decade-long tradition for the band. rady says since St. Patrick’s ay was busy at his family’s bar when he was growing up, the St. Patrick’s ay parade, held on Sunday before the holiday, was his time to celebrate his heritage and his community. e used to all ride the Old Shillelagh bus all the way down to the aelic eague, and then work our way back, stopping at every bar on the way back for a pint, and see how far we could get before the bus had to come pick us up, he says. ut it wasn’t just about drinking. It was the adventure. It was the camaraderie. He adds, The parade is the familyoriented community day. e get to get out there and see all of our friends, we see all our family. e take pride in our culture and in our community. I love it. It’s my favorite day. I love parade day. ind you, I love St. Paddy’s ay, but
parade day is just the day where we all get to have our fun. ike elly, the President of the nited Irish Societies and co-chairman of the etroit Saint Patrick’s ay parade, also remembers feeling floored when the 2020 festivities were canceled. e were so disappointed, he says. e had heard that the hicago parade was canceled, and then we had heard that the oston parade was canceled. It was very disappointing for everyone, including everyone on ichigan venue, the orktown usiness ssociation, and especially our charities. He adds, It’s an incredible business day for orktown, and for the businesses on ichigan venue. It brings revenue to the city of etroit. nd that’s why we’ve been holding the parade in orktown for as many years as we have. ork on the parade is year-round, with fundraisers and other activities planned throughout the year. iven how much time it takes to plan and with the pandemic showing no signs of slowing down, elly says he knew early on that the 202 parade would not happen as well. elly emphasi es that there’s more to the parade than drunken revelry returning to ichigan venue. s a nonprofit, the St. Patrick’s ay parade Continued on next page
Sláinte!
20 Detroit area Irish pubs and bars to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day By Old Shillelagh
349 Monroe St., Detroit; 313-964-0007; oldshillelagh.com or many etroiters, Old Shillelagh was the bar of choice for their first St. Paddy’s ay celebration. The pub has been a etroit staple since 5.
McShane’s Irish Pub
1460 Michigan Ave., Detroit; 313-961-1960; mcshanespub.com cShane’s Irish Pub might have a good whiskey list, but the food menu is the real star. cShane’s o ers traditional Irish favorites like Shepherd’s Pie and some foods with a twist like cabbage and corned beef egg rolls.
Nancy Whiskey
2644 Harrison St., Detroit; 313-962-4247 ancy hiskey is one of etroit’s oldest bars, having been around for over 00 years. umor has it that ancy’s
survived the Prohibition by operating as a speakeasy.
Danny’s Irish Pub
22824 Woodward Ave., Ferndale; 248-546-8331 anny’s Irish Pub was voted est Suburban Irish pub by our readers in 202 . It’s worth it to pay a visit and see just how right all of our readers were.
O’Connor’s Public House
324 S. Main St., Rochester; 248-608-2537; oconnorsrochester.com ith six bands, two stages, a live , and a 5,000 s uare-foot. heated tent, we’re going to say the folks over at O’ onnor’s are ready to make your St. Patrick’s ay one to remember.
Three Blind Mice Irish Pub
101 N. Main St., Mt Clemens; 586-961-6371; threeblindmiceirishpub.com
16 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
aff Three lind ice is more than just a children’s tale, the Irish Pub has been a fixture in acomb ounty for over a century.
birthday on arch , and will surely keep the party going through St. Patrick’s ay.
John Cowley & Sons Irish Pub
O’Malley’s Supper Spirits & Song
Duggan’s Irish Pub
Kelly’s Irish Pub
33338 Grand River Ave., Farmington; 248-474-5941 This third generation family-owned pub will have live entertainment to help celebrate the big day.
31501 Woodward Ave., Royal Oak; 248-549-3659; dugganspub.com uggan’s has all the vibes of a traditional Irish pub but o ers merican food favorites, like pi a and burgers.
O’Toole’s
205 Fifth Ave., Royal Oak; 248-591-9226; otoolespubs.com O’Toole’s will be celebrating its 20th
15231 Farmington Rd., Livonia; 734-427-7775 O’ alley’s will o er food specials and live entertainment during their St. Patrick’s ay celebration.
3701 S. Telegraph Rd., Dearborn; 313-563-7510; kellysirishpubdearborn.com elly’s Irish Pub is an Irish pub with a neighborhood feel. It’s been elly’s since but the building has been around since the late 0s.
Dick O’Dow’s Irish Public House
160 W. Maple Rd., Birmingham;
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
17
helps raise money for various charitable organizations. Even during the downtime, Kelly says the organizers were able to donate $6,000 to charities. This year, the parade’s selected charities include the Most Holy Trinity Cabrini Clinic, Jim Dewan UIS Scholarship Fund, Detroit Irish Radio, Pallottine Fathers Missions, and the Downtown Boxing Gym. This year, the parade is honoring “hometown heroes” who are essential workers who helped others during the pandemic. “Besides the businesses that are excited, the charities are excited that we’re back,” he says. Kelly says it costs $70,000 to put on the parade, which includes security, insurance, tents, banners, and cleanup. The city used to pitch in, but that money dried up over the years. “Those days are long gone,” he says. “Things changed in the city of Detroit with the bankruptcy and all that.” While some cities have canceled their
parades due to costs, Kelly is proud that Detroit’s continues. “We’re still plugging along, trying to keep our Detroit Irish tradition moving forward, to help future generations of the Irish community,” he says. Since 2018, the parade has incorporated a “family fun zone” along the parade route with doughnuts and co ee. This year, Paws and Roary, the mascots of the Tigers and Lions, are set to make an appearance. “It’s back to our families and our Irish traditions, and keeping things enjoyable for families,” he says. Kelly says the parade’s roots go back to nearby Dearborn, which once had a significant Irish community, but as the parade grew the decision was made to relocate it to the Corktown district. The oldest extant neighborhood in the city, Corktown was where many Irish immigrants coalesced in the 19th century, when they were the largest ethnic group settling in Detroit.
Community was important. “People couldn’t come to the country unless they had a sponsor and a job lined up,” Kelly explains. “You couldn’t come in unless you had a job or a sponsor, because they didn’t want people coming into the country and not being able to support themselves or help the community.” Dignitaries from Cork, Ireland, the namesake of Detroit’s Corktown, are also set to attend this year’s parade. But Kelly points out that Detroit has another major connection with Ireland, too: Henry Ford’s family came to the U.S. from Ireland following the Great Famine there. After Ford launched Ford Motor Co. here, he later opened his first dedicated auto plant outside of America in Cork. According to Road & Track magazine, the facility started producing Fordson tractors in 1917 and pivoted to automobile production in 1921. The facility eventually grew into an 18-acre property with a 750,000-square-foot assembly line and 7,000 employees,
building cars like the Prefect, the Escort, and Cortina before the factory closed in 1984. A stainless steel Model T sculpture in the town marks the connection to Detroit. Kelly says that despite the fundraising events held throughout the year, the parade simply wouldn’t exist without its corporate sponsorships. With Ford Motor Co.’s development of Corktown’s long-abandoned Michigan Central Station underway, Kelly is hopeful that they can support the parade too. “We’re looking for bigger and better opportunities with Ford as the train station comes to fruition,” Kelly says. “It’s a beautiful facility.” He adds, “Our, our theme of the St. Patrick’s parade is, ‘always marching forward in celebration of our Irish heritage.’” This is the 64th annual St. Patrick’s Day Parade. Corktown Races at 9 a.m., step-o mass at Holy trinity, parade starts at 1 p.m. on Sunday, March 13.
248-642-1135; dickodowspub.com This St. Patrick’s Day, Dick O’Dow’s is keeping the schedule tight, only o ering breakfast from - 0 a.m.. After that, they’ll have a limited menu. If you’re looking for traditional Irish flavors, they’ll be selling Shepherd’s Pie and cabbage dinners through the holiday.
Conor O’Neill’s Irish Pub & Restaurant
318 S. Main St., Ann Arbor; 734-665-2968; conoroneills.com Conor O’Neill’s brings Ireland to Ann Arbor — the pub is designed to look like an authentic Irish pub.
Sean O’Callaghan’s Public House
821 Penniman Ave., Plymouth; 734-459-6666; seanocallaghanspub.com This Irish pub is just over 20 years old, and in true young 20s fashion, the St. Patrick’s Day celebration starts at 7 a.m.
Dunleavy’s
6004 Allen Rd. #2639, Allen Park; 313-382-4545; dunleavypub.com At Dunleavy’s the goal is to get you drunk — no really, it’s on their website. This downriver pub has an expansive whiskey list with a decadent food menu.
Pat O’Brien’s Tavern
22385 E. 10 Mile Rd., St. Clair Shores; 586-771-5715; pobtavern.com This Irish pub has been a favorite in St. Clair Shores since 1948.
Shamrock Irish Pub
7715 Auburn Rd., Utica; 586-731-6886;
MICHELLE GERARD/STOCK DETROIT
shamrockpubutica Shamrock Irish Pub has been a staple in Utica since 1935. While beer may be what you’re looking for, it’s their burgers that keep folks talking.
Nemo’s
1384 Michigan Ave., Detroit; 313-9653180; nemosdetroit.com Nemo’s may shine bright on Opening
18 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
Day and during other sporting events, but the rustic Corktown pub doesn’t fall short during St. Patrick’s Day.
McClenaghan’s Pub
52500 Van Dyke Ave., Shelby Township; 586-739-2913 Throughout the year, you can enter a euchre tournament or chow down on $1.00 tacos, but on March 17, Mc-
Clenaghan’s is the spot to celebrate in Shelby Township.
Colleen’s Irish Pub
32307 Harper Ave., St. Clair Shores; 586-415-0571 On a regular week at Colleen’s Irish Pub you can sing karaoke at this local bar. Just imagine what you can do on St. Patrick’s Day.
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
19
WHAT’S GOING ON
Greta Van Fleet makes a metro Detroit stop next week.
Select events happening in metro Detroit this week. Submit your events to metrotimes.com/calendar. Be sure to check venue websites for COVID-19 policies.
FRI 3/11 No Standing
illed on the flier as a funky ass dance party, this show doubles as a birthday celebration for etroit designer and arble ar regular atie Peters of Streetheart. The night’s lineup is chock full of hip-hop, house, and funk, including Tall lack uy etroit , uscrates Pittsburgh , Selecta Pittsburgh , and e ndres etroit . Top tier producers and your favorite ’s favorite , Peters tells us via Instagram . She would know —Lee DeVito From 9 p.m.-3 a.m. on Friday, March 11 at Marble Bar; 1501 Holden St., Detroit; ra.co. Tickets start at $6.
SUN 3/13 ‘Tied in 313 Day’ concert
The local and national enthusiasm for etroit’s hip-hop scene has never been higher. It seems every week a new otor ity artist has an album rising up the pple usic Top 00 chart or popping up on a track with a mainstream artist. nter The Tied In ay oncert, a celebration showcasing etroit’s own hip-hop artists. omedian Ha Ha avis and etroit influencer ustin loyd will host a night that will see performances from ash oll, Pee y, aby oney, Tay , Payroll iovanni, abyface ay, ront Paije, Skilla aby, Pretty rayah, ugg Harden, and more artists yet to be named. The show is being presented by ctive inds and lothing, and also sponsored by cannabis cultivator iola rands and ifteen. Shell Shock’d Tacos will also be on hand serving food. —Kahn Santori Davison The Tied in 313 Day Concert will be held at 7 p.m. on Sunday, March 13 at the Garden Theater; 3929 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-832-0888; thegardendetroit. com. Tickets start at $55.
20 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
MATTHEW DANIEL SISKA
SUN 3/13 Parquet Courts, Mdou Moctar
ow here’s an interesting tour pairing. rooklyn, ew ork indie rock band Par uet ourts is joined on the road by opening act dou octar, a iger-based guitarist known as the imi Hendrix of the Sahara. The selftaught artist first gained prominence in frica through peer-to-peer file sharing networks, and on this latest tour his uni ue blend of Tuareg folk, blues, and psychedelic rock upstaged the main act, at least according to one recent review. Par uet ourts is touring its 202 record Sympathy for Life, which saw the band incorporate dance and techno influences into its post-punk sound. eanwhile, octar’s 202 debut Afrique Victime earned a est ew usic from Pitchfork. —Lee DeVito Doors open at 7 p.m. on Sunday, March 13 at the Magic Stick; 4120 Woodward Ave., Detroit; 313-833-9700; majesticdetroit.com. Tickets start at $35.
THU 3/17 Greta Van Fleet
reta an leet is a ichigan rock band, but not a etroit band. They’re from rankenmuth. This distinction is clear in the band’s reams in old tour itinerary, which includes stops in basically every big city in ichigan except for etroit ock ity, from arch 0 at alama oo’s ings vent enter to rand apids’ eltaPlex rena on arch 2 then Saginaw’s ow vent enter on arch , lint’s ort inancial enter arch , and the closest thing that could be considered metro etroit, astern ichigan niversity’s onvocation enter in psilanti, on arch . The tour is in support of the band’s sophomore e ort, The Battle at Garden’s Gate, which expands upon its brand of ’ 0s-style rock ’n’ roll revival. —Lee DeVito Greta Van Fleet perform at the Eastern Michigan University Convocation Center on Thursday, March 17; 799 N. Hewitt Rd., ilan i re a an ee . com. Doors at 7 p.m. Tickets start at $59.
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
21
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
23
MUSIC ‘I love aggressive music sung by a feminine voice’
Sir Chloe on being inspired by traditional Balkan music and going TikTok viral By Konstantina Buhalis
Dana Foote, known as her
stage name Sir Chloe, exploded onto the scene last year with the single “Michelle o the debut P Party avors. The project came into existence during oote’s final year of studies at ennington College in Vermont, where she took inspiration from alkan folk music, indie alternative, and living a bicoastal life. ow, Sir hloe is taking its music on the road on a tour with alt- and Portugal. The an. e caught up with oote on becoming a TikTok sensation, going out on tour, and the ast coast music scene. Metro Times: What is it like suddenly n in ame erni eeme li e i elle a r lin i ere r a li le ile. a a i li e a ey r n a in ar n i a e i e in e ra i lay r Dana Foote: ell, songs don’t typically go to radio until they have a lot of momentum behind them, or unless you’re signed to a big label, and they’re trying to push a song from the get-go. It’s pretty hard to get a song on the radio, just randomly. So something organic, like TikTok, where the kids are excited about the song, and they want to listen to it and share it with each other, and explore di erent creative ways that they can visually express themselves with the song, was really great and really special. It was wonderful and really appreciated. a i li e a r a in e a e a er ein a ay r a ile e e an emi e’re definitely getting our sea legs. e played a lot at our college, and then we graduated, and shortly thereafter, the shutdown happened, and we didn’t really get to tour. So you know, it feels very fresh right now, for sure. ere in en e y ra i i nal Bal an l m i . i y ar li enin a ostly vocally, I found it because I was taking a class at my college. I can’t remember the title of the class, but the thesis of it was just exploring di erent vocal techni ues around the world, and one of the vocal styles that we studied was alkan folk music, which is very
Sir Chloe performs at Detroit’s Masonic Temple on Wednesday.
broad, because it’s a large part of the world. It hits you in the chest as soon as you hear it. nd when it was a big class of people who were all singing together, we would try to learn the styles, we would bring people in who had either studied the vocal stop techni ues or were from the parts of the world where we were studying, and had grown up singing that way. nd when we were all singing the alkan songs, it was just very it’s like a lot of really close harmonies and you know, straight tone, a lot of like, singing that sounds like yelling. nd I just really love that. That music is really aggressive and intense, and especially, I love aggressive music sung by a feminine voice. a min ne e’re working on a new album. It’s mostly written, and we’re just starting to record, and we play with uite a few new songs in our set right now. So we’ve got a lot of the work, a good chunk of
24 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
the album that we’ve been playing live. a are y l in r ar m n e’ve been talking about maybe scheduling another headlining tour. eyond that, since live music has come back, I’ve been getting into a lot more of the music scene in ew ork, and a lot of the shows that go on in like the ast illage and rooklyn. There’s a really fabulous community of musicians here. It’s really fun. I’ve been playing just to keep things warm between tours and just because it’s fun. e’re playing shows with our friends, and we’ve got a show coming up next week, which is just like, my friend’s album release party, and we’re gonna open up for them. That’s just really fun because you get to play for an audience of your friends, and it’s like a lineup of all your friends. y l i ne ar i lla ra e i l i e an y
CARA ROBBINS
ou know I always say this, but probably Pile. ick c uire is one of my favorite songwriters have of all time, and I really love the way that he sings and his guitar playing. I’d love to just sit down and write with him and just pick his brain about lyrics, and also just befriend him because he’s cool. a are y li enin rren ly I’ve actually been getting really back into that Sky erreira album, i ime y ime. I’ve also been listening to rien are er by nd The ids. nd The ids’ vocalist is another vocalist who sings with, like, a straight tone that I really love. I’ve been listening to i er r by lliott Smith a lot. ir C l e an r ar em le ma ni . ar a
ill er rm in al. e an n e a e a ni em . er i m. r a .m. .
r al J ne ay le ei e
3/18 EMO NIGHT BROOKLYN 3/19 RITTZ W/ GRIEVES, TRIZZ, AND REDD AT THE SHELTER
3/20 ST. PAUL & THE BROKEN BONES
THIS FRIDAY YOLA
ST. ANDREWS
MAR 13 EPIK HIGH ST. ANDREWS
W/ WOOSUNG
W/ THEE SACRED SOULS
3/22 JESSE & JOY
W/ LITTLE JESUS & CHULE
3/23 POINT NORTH
W/ LIL LOTUS, CONCRETE CASTLES & CHERIE AMOUR AT THE SHELTER
3/24 POPPY
W/ MZ NEON
MAR 15 INHALER ST. ANDREWS
W/ JUNIOR MESA
PUCK MAR 16 KNUCKLE W/ HOT MULLIGAN, MEET ME ST. ANDREWS
@ THE ALTAR & ANXIOUS
3/26 CIRCLE JERKS
W/ 7 SECONDS & NEGATIVE APPROACH
3/27 DRAGONFORCE
W/ FIREWIND, VISIONS OF ATLANTIS, SEVEN SPIRES
3/28 JERRY CANTRELL 3/30 GRANDSON
W/ ROYAL & THE SERPENT, NOVA TWINS
FOR A KING MAR 21 FIT W/ SILENT PLANET, ST. ANDREWS
HOLLOW FRONT & AVOID
SALT MAR 17 SUMMER W/ RENATA ZEIGUER, THE SHELTER
KATE STEPHENSON
3/31 FOZZY FT. CHRIS JERICHO W/ GFM, KRASHKARMA, THE NOCTURNAL AFFAIR
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
25
26 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
MUSIC A country-soul force of nature British performer Yola expands her palette By Dave Gil de Rubio
Stories abound of how
musicians navigated the full-stop nature of the pandemic. For English singer-songwriter Yola, the extended COVID-19 pause gave her a chance to do a deep dive into herself with Stand for Myself, the follow-up album to her critically-acclaimed 2019 debut Walk Through Fire. While her introduction to the public came as a country-soul force of nature who earned multiple Grammy nods, including Best Americana Album and Best American Roots Performance (despite hailing from Bristol, England), the woman born Yolanda Claire Quartey has expanded her stylistic palette considerably with Stand for Myself. With Dan Auerbach of The Black Keys returning as producer, Stand or Myself finds the sounds of ola’s childhood bubbling up and encompassing everything from hooky protest jams (“Diamond Studded Shoes”) and acharach-flavored pop ike a Photograph to amble Hu -flavored disco (“Dancing Away in Tears”) and silk sheet ow ou’re Here . In the process, Yola did a self inventory, having already worked to hold onto her center while weathering a tsunami of success. “It became apparent during lockdown when I was adding songs to my co er of tunes, that I was writing about something,” she recalls in a late-February phone interview. “It felt like the arc of my journey from being a little of a dualmapped person to seeming like I was on my path properly felt like the inspiration to the arc of this record, a moment where life had realized some sense of timing. I negotiated how to get that for myself and how to have control over my own life not anyone else’s just mine. It was quite astounding how often I was in situations where people wanted to have control over my life and they didn’t even reali e they were doing that. major factor allowing ola to find the greater truth she was seeking on this project was the involvement of a female-centric supporting cast that included Joy Oladokun, Ruby Amanfu (who collaborated with Jack White on his first two solo records , randi Carlile, and Natalie Hemby. I feel like with the first record, I was so surrounded by white men,” Yola
Yola performs on Friday at Saint Andrew’s Hall.
explained. “It was my connections with women of varying background, hue, and persuasion that gave me this wonderful ability to truly excavate everything I needed to [dig up] on this record. I was blessed to have a clutch of women that would get me there fully understanding where I was trying to go.” The Carlile and Hemby connection came via the Highwaywomen. Yola was invited to contribute to the self-titled 2019 album by this all-female supergroup, which also includes Maren Morris and Amanda Shires. Hemby caught
28 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
JOSEPH ROSS SMITH
ola playing at illie elson’s uck Reunion Festival, professed her love of the latter’s debut album and insisted she was going to hip Carlile to the British vocal powerhouse. The Highwaywomen project followed in its wake, and doors of opportunity continued opening for Yola. “I met Brandi along with Natalie Hemby, who writes on five out of the 12 songs on my current record. I met Maren [Morris] and Amanda [Shires] there,” Yola says. “I met [producer] Dave obb there. Obviously, I’ve been on the
road with Dave and Chris Stapleton as well, so we got to see quite a lot of each other. [Dave] was doing the soundtrack to this movie [about Elvis Presley] and we had already connected.” Cobb suggested that Yola should audition for the Presley biopic, and she landed the role of gospel-star-turnedrock-and-roll pioneer Sister Rosetta Tharpe. “With this role, I get to redress some of the inconsistencies in rock and roll’s etymology,” Yola says. “I know (as Tharpe I’m the jump-o point for lvis, as a character in the movie, but without me, you don’t have him. ithout him, you don’t have the entire scene. The main thing is how [Tharpe] gave people showcases and discovered them. She single-handedly brought us people that might not have been seen or heard of at the same level, as well as obviously inventing that style of playing that nobody was doing. No one had been distorting their amp and playing and no one had been bending the strings the way she was — or at all. All of this innovation changed everything. Plus she was very out about being queer.” Yola is eager to share the entirety of her Stand for Myself material on her headlining tour this spring, Anchored by the rhythm section of bassist Nick Movshon (Sharon Jones, Amy Winehouse) and drummer Aaron Frazer (Durand Jones and the Indications), Yola promises both substance and sizzle with her show. “I knew this record needed a rhythm section steeped in disco and funk. Feel in the pocket was paramount to the drum sections we had, she says. e’ve been opening for Chris Stapleton doing short sets, so finally we get the full fat arrangement, delivery and everything. I learned about how I connect to this record and what is coming to the fore in these live performances. It’s also an opportunity to present these topics that can be either taken on either a surface or deeper level and meeting people where they’re at. Yola performs on Friday, March 11 at Saint Andrew’s Hall; 431 E, Congress St., Detroit; 313-961-8137; standrewsdetroit. com. Doors at 8:30 p.m. Tickets start at $27.50.
3/10 KILLSWITCH ENGAGE
w/ August Burns Red & Light The Torch
3/21 SNOH AALEGRA
w/ Ama Lou LOW TICKET ALERT
THIS FRIDAY
MADEON
W/ YUNG BAE & SLOW MAGIC
MARCH 12
4/2
MANCHESTER ORCHESTRA W/ FOXING & MICHIGANDER LOW TICKET ALERT
RANDY RAINBOW: THE PINK GLASSES TOUR
4/3 SOLD OUT 4/11 LOW TICKET ALERT DR. JORDAN B. PETERSON: BEYOND ORDER 4/8
DR. NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: COSMIC COLLISIONS
4/19 ROYAL BLOOD MARCH 17
PAPA ROACH
W/ HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD & BAD WOLVES LOW TICKET ALERT
MARCH 26
ARI SHAFFIR, BIG JAY OAKERSON & ROBERT KELLY
4/24 CAVETOWN
w/ Tessa Violet & Addison Grace
4/27 KALEO
w/ Bones Owens
4/30 SEVENDUST
w/ All Good Things, Plush, DEEPFALL
APRIL 14
JESSIE JAMES DECKER W/ ADAM DOLEAC
5/1
MIKE.
5/3
AN EVENING WITH STEVE HACKETT GENESIS REVISTED
5/6
JESSE MCCARTNEY
APRIL 18
SPOON
W/ MARGARET GLASPY
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
29
30 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
FOOD Despite fame, this spot keeps it real By Jane Slaughter
The first time I ate at Al-
Tayeb — yes, this was not long after it appeared on the New York Times’ 50 Best Restaurants list — my dining companion was 45 minutes late, at a pretty busy time. I fidgeted and tried to look apologetic for taking up a table non-lucratively. Throughout, the waiter empathized, and the chef sent us free hummus and spicy potatoes, as though the wait had been AlTayeb’s fault, not ours. So fame had not gone to the owners’ heads. The welcoming demeanor was just the same as, I’m assuming, it had been before. On a second visit, my party was given free falafel and hummus. The overall air was friendliness and general swiftness. As in some other Lebanese restaurants, you will first be o ered a plate of raw vegetables — onion, tomato, mint — with pickles and green hot sauce. Ours came with spoons, but we weren’t planning to cut up the onion anyway. I have never surveyed other tables to see what they’re doing with this pre-feast — sometimes it’s a very large amount and includes lettuce — does anyone construct a salad on the spot? Reader, I took mine home in Styrofoam. AlTayeb is a breakfast place that’s open till 4 p.m. I’m sure it’s a matter of what you grew up eating for breakfast, but I found the fava bean and chickpea dishes that AlTayeb is most known for too bland. (And who am I to talk? I eat a lot of oatmeal. The spicier o erings, on the other hand, were excellent, enough to make my “Best Things I Ate This Year” list. And the pita chips are the GOAT. I counted eight dishes made up mainly of favas or chickpeas or both, and then more where meat or other ingredients were part of the recipe. Plain fool is both legumes together; the garlic-lemon sauce was not enough to lift it out of flatness. ikewise mshawasheh, whole chickpeas with tarator, a tahini-lemon sauce: this is good if you really like the taste of pure chickpeas. Hummus as well, though the creamiest I’ve ever eaten and served with a pool of good olive-y olive oil, was bland; I like more garlic in my hummus. Other dishes in the legume category are fool with tahini, favas with hummus, chickpeas with tahini — you get the idea. Far superior to my tastebuds was “fat-
AlTayeb’s fatteh with chunk meat is complemented by those amazing pita chips.
teh with chunk meat.” This is fried pita with chickpeas, garlic yogurt, fried cashews and beef. Tangy from the yogurt, slightly crunchy from the nuts — a dish with layers of delight. You can also get this with beef tongue, or substitute tahini-yogurt sauce for the yogurt. Even better was harhoura, big enough to share: shredded beef, peppers and slightly sweet onions, mellow and spicy at the same time, with a pleasant after-burn. I have to say it’s greasy, and I wish some people didn’t find that a pejorative. There’s tahini on the side as a coolant. And the potatoes! You’ll be spoiled ever after for French fries or hash browns. These spicy, garlicky fried chunks have a crisp skin and are seasoned with cilantro, and they are numerous. Pita chips — it was unclear to me whether these came with one of my dishes or were another freebie — are far more than a conveyor for hummus.
32 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
Their snappy flavor is perhaps owing to their dark brown, thus deeply fried, color. They’re hard to stop eating. If you order eggs, you will get five of them. The photo on the overhead screens pictures five golden yolks staring up at the diner and challenging him or her to train for a pri efight. I got scrambled instead, with sujuk, the dried beef sausage. The result was buttery and mildly spicy, not unlike eggs with chorizo. Eggs can also come with another sausage, makanek, ground or chunk beef, potatoes, or tomato and onion. Falafel come six to an order, and they are just right, with a crisp exterior. Sesame-fried cheese slabs are pretty bland; better are cheese rolls, melted inside fried phyllo. It’s interesting how so many cultures, including those with high spice tolerance, evolved a bland white cheese that kids love and that stays popular: queso fresco, halloumi, Lebanese akawi, mozzarella.
TOM PERKINS
AlTayeb 15010 W. Warren Ave., Dearborn; 313-908-9527 | 873 Inkster Rd., Garden City; 734-237-4606 | altayebrestaurant.com Handicap accessible 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Sunday-Saturday Eggs $5.99-$10.99, legumes $7.99$10.49, meat dishes $10.99-$14.99
For drinks, more are listed than are o ered. I hope the mango smoothie and mint lemonade will someday be real. My fresh orange juice was, of course, a delight. Turkish co ee, thick at the bottom, was “shockingly smooth,” my companion said. When I return I’ll have to try more of the eggs, another of the fattehs, the baba ghannouj at an a ordable $ . , probably the potatoes and harhoura again. I’ll know that portion sizes are large enough to share.
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
33
FOOD Bites
Hazel Park’s Frame is hosting a solidarity dinner for Ukraine By Randiah Camille Green
The current Russian inva-
sion of Ukraine is not just heartbreaking for Mark Kurlyandchik, editorial director of Hazel Park’s Frame restaurant — it’s personal. “My paternal grandfather was a Jew born in Kremenchuk, a factory town on the banks of the Dnipro River,” he said in a statement on Frame’s website. “My maternal grandmother hailed from Smolensk, a Russian city near the border of Belarus. Fate — namely war and displacement — brought them to Soviet-controlled Lithuania, where they both married ethnic Poles.” The current Russian invasion of Ukraine is not just heartbreaking for Mark Kurlyandchik, editorial director of Hazel Park’s Frame restaurant — it’s personal. “My paternal grandfather was a Jew born in Kremenchuk, a factory town on the banks of the Dnipro River,” he said in a statement on Frame’s website. “My maternal grandmother hailed from Smolensk, a Russian city near the border of Belarus. Fate — namely war and displacement — brought them to Soviet-controlled Lithuania, where they both married ethnic Poles.” Frame will host a Slavic dinner in solidarity with Ukraine on Friday, March 25, and Saturday, March 26. Proceeds from the dinner will benefit the Ukrainian Congress Committee of America’s #SupportUkraine Humanitarian ort, which provides aid to Ukrainian refugees, children, and front-line defenders. “Slavic Solidarity: A Dinner for Ukraine” will feature elevated versions of Ukrainian dishes prepared by chef Michael Barrera. This includes zakuski — duck rillettes, cheese, pickles, and bread — and Ukraine’s national dish, borscht (beet soup). Tickets are $85 per person with dinner seatings at 5:30 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. Wine pairings and cocktails are available at an additional cost. See Frame’s website for more information.
Slavic Solidarity: A Dinner for Ukraine will be held at Frame in March.
Detroit Shipping Co. team preps Lansing sister project
etails for the ansing Shu e ood Hall & Social Club, a project led by the people behind the Detroit Shipping o., are firming up. The project announced its initial three restaurants last week, with more to follow. The restaurants are the first to be announced for the upcoming food hall and entertainment venue, which is expected to open in the former Lansing City Market at 325 Riverfront Dr. in downtown Lansing later this summer. They include Browndog, a Northville-based spot known for its burgers, ice cream, and shakes; Osteria Vegana, a project helmed by Detroit-area chef Gianmarco Roselli that bills itself as the world’s first vegan Italian restaurant and Yeti Kitchen, run by chef Anjani Lama of Detroit Shipping Co.’s Momo ha, which will o er takes on epali street food like Tikki Sliders and a Butter Chicken Bowl. e’re thrilled to introduce our first three restaurant partners to the greater ansing community, ansing Shu e managing partner Jonathan Hartzell said in a statement. “We’re excited for
34 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
our guests to have the opportunity to try some incredible flavors and cuisines, and we look forward to the possibility of adding a Latin- or Asian-inspired experience as well. We’re very happy with this lineup — and more to come!” A total of seven restaurant vendors are planned for the 14,000-square-foot facility, which will also include two fullservice bars, a riverfront exterior patio, and a stage, a setup that is similar to the Detroit Shipping Co. project. More information on the project is available at lansingshu e.com. The food hall trend is similar to a mall food court, but with an emphasis on chef-driven concepts. Detroit got its first food hall in 20 with the onroe Market in Greektown Casino, followed by the Detroit Shipping Co. in Midtown. Fort Street Galley followed in late 2018 in downtown Detroit, but closed after a little more than a year. A food hall was also planned for the Chroma development in the Milwaukee Junction area of Detroit, but it was canceled in 2019. Another new food hall project called The Mosaic is planned for Detroit’s Eastern Market district, expected to open in 2024. —Lee DeVito
JOE VAUGHN / FRAME
Blake’s Hard Cider expands west
Blake’s Hard Cider announced on social media that it would be taking on the operating assets of Oregon-based cider company Avid Hard Cider Co. The two companies will form a new entity, Avid Cider Co., LLC, which will acquire existing taproom leases, production facilities, recipes, equipment, and more. “Like us, Avid is family-run and has stayed true to its roots of producing high quality, locally sourced cider. By leveraging both our established distribution channels, we will collectively grow both brands in an authentic way,” Andrew Blake, founder and president of Blake’s Hard Cider, said in a statement. While the two entities may be joining forces to deliver something great, they will still continue to operate their respective brands, which won’t disrupt drinkers of either hard cider. Avid Cider was founded in Bend, Oregon in 20 . It is currently distributed along the west coast in Oregon, ashington, Idaho, evada, ontana, and California. —Alex Washington
WEED How Qonkur built a cannabis media empire in Michigan By Lee DeVito
Mike Berro owns what could
be the largest cannabis marketing agency in the Midwest — and he doesn’t even smoke weed. “Growing up in my culture, weed was a big no,” he says. But that didn’t stop him from seeing an opportunity to get in on Michigan’s burgeoning industry. Born and raised in Dearborn, Berro went to live in Lebanon for a couple years before returning to metro Detroit, where he landed a marketing job. He quit after two months, he says, but soon landed a gig doing IT work for attorney Joumana Kayrouz. The two bonded over their shared Lebanese heritage, and her company hired Berro on the spot when he fixed their printers. There, he says he helped design the iconic billboards around town that Kayrouz became known for. Then another interesting opportunity presented itself. Berro says his cousin married someone who had started a legit dispensary. In 2018, Michigan voters approved Proposal 1, which legalized cannabis for adult use. The dispensary hired Berro to do its marketing, who worked in the back of the building on his laptop, and then gave him more money when they opened another store. Through wordof-mouth he started getting more and more clients, and moved into the cannabis industry full-time in 2019. That’s when Berro says he decided to go all in. “I realized that the more people I have, the more money I can get,” he says. “So I started hiring left and right.” Then came the COVID-19 pandemic. “Everyone was stressing out, like, ‘Oh my god, we’re gonna lose our jobs,” he says. “I went out and I told my team, ‘Hey, I’m not laying anyone o . o furloughs. o one’s getting fired. If anything, we’re gonna grow.’ erro figured the cannabis industry would likely be deemed essential, because of the medical aspect of it. That’s exactly what happened, and business continued to explode. “Every single dispensary in Michigan was calling, asking, ‘How fast can you get me a curbside pickup website?” he says. By the end of the year he moved his team into a Ferndale warehouse, a former ambulance repair center. Due to the
Mike Berro of Qonkur, a fast-growing cannabis marketing agency.
pandemic, he says he got a sweet deal. Berro says he spent all his money on renovating the office space, because banks don’t like to work with cannabisrelated businesses due to the federal prohibition. He viewed it as an investment opportunity. “I spent every single penny,” he says. “When clients walk in, the wow factor has to hit them.” Today, onkur has a hip office space that looks like a Silicon Valley startup, where guests are greeted by a large glowing green logo behind a reception desk. Inside, about 50 employees sit at rows of computers, working on all aspects of cannabis marketing. He boasts, I will be, in the next five years, the biggest marketing agency in America, if not the world, and not just limited to cannabis.” erro has since expanded with Canhaus, a budget-friendly solution for cannabis websites. “So I’m kind of my
36 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
COURTESY PHOTO
own competition in a way, because I really want to have accessible marketing to cannabis companies,” he says. He’s also launched Orreb (his name spelled backwards), what he describes as a low-cost platform for small businesses outside of the cannabis industry to connect with clients. Berro says Qonkur has an edge over other marketing agencies because as a web designer, he has insight on Michigan cannabis consumer purchasing trends. “Because I see the data, I see what they like to buy,” he says, adding that his clients’ websites received 64 million visits last year. He also remains hands-on, working on projects alongside his team. “I’m the CEO, CFO, account manager, web designer … I’m on the ground,” he says. “I’m not sitting here and cashing checks like most agency owners that I’ve met.” Berro says cannabis marketing has
to be outside-of-the-box. Through Qonkur, he’s helped redesign cannabis packaging when Michigan’s Marijuana Regulatory Agency started cracking down on products that looked too much like candy, and launched a deal for competitively priced $420 billboards, among others. He says Qonkur has also perfected a process that involves taking thousands of photos of one nugget of cannabis at various focal points, to compile them into one highdefinition composite photograph. He recently acquired the building space next door to expand with onkur Labs, which will develop apps for cannabis companies to reach their customers directly. The company is even getting into what is referred to as “web3,” developing digital Ts for cannabis clients that can provide exclusive access to specific inventory and private access events. Berro says one of the things he loves the most about the industry is the opportunity to learn new things. “I don’t smoke, but I’ll be able to tell you where the weed was grown, if it was grown indoors or outdoors, what strain it is, based on the smell, if it’s molded, old, or fresh,” he says. “I have learned so much about weed in the past few years, when I tell clients I don’t smoke, they’re like, how do you know all this?” He also says his short experience in Lebanon made him appreciate a dynamic, growing industry. “In Lebanon, I was homeless for a period of time,” he says. “So what [cannabis] has made for me, for my team … I have employees that when they started here, they were getting kicked out by their parents, who now have cars and just bought homes. So giving that opportunity and being able to end the stigma of cannabis that ended for me, and change the way people look at cannabis good or bad. … that’s important.” He says he hopes to one day be able to have a voice with the government about cannabis policy. “It’s so new,” he says of the industry. o one’s an expert. s big as an expert as I am or my clients are, there’s still so much to learn.” More information is available at qonkur. com.
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
37
CULTURE A remake runs dry, but not without a few delights By Eileen G’Sell
There’s something to be
said for an unapologetically big-budget whodunit premiering mid-winter, midomicron, after a two-year COVID-fueled delay. There’s also something to be said for any film in which ussell rand is cast as a bespectacled medic, Sophie Okonedo busts out Depression-era jazz standards, or a former Absolutely Fabulous star plays a lesbian socialist — who happens to get all the best lines. When he isn’t dangling Belfast as wholesome bait for an erstwhile famished cademy, enneth ranagh likes to have a bit of fun. Death on the Nile, the second installment of his directorial take on Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot series, might seem like multiplex folly — and, just to be clear, it is — but it is also a film that, when it estfully revels in its lack of substance, can be very entertaining. Like most Christie fare, the narrative premise is rife with socio-economic tensions and domestic turmoil. A free cruise through Egypt lures a motley group of guests to fete the union of Simon Doyle (Armie Hammer) to heiress innet idgeway al adot . hen Simon’s jilted ex-fiancee, ackie (Emma Mackey), abruptly boards with a broken heart and lady pistol, Poirot ranagh is asked to man the ship with his sleuthy genius. With an ensemble cast that could sink a ship with the weight of its acting trophies — Annette ening’s perhaps the most lethal Death on the Nile literally o ers a little of everything and everyone (including Hammer, whose “cancellation” since 2019 only makes his cad of a character all the more convincing). Is this movie a ludicrous waste of money? Sure. ut it isn’t always a waste of talent. “All the money in the world and she’s in the freezer with the hams,” observes r. indlesham rand laconically, of the unfortunate dame who’s o ed in the first act no spoilers . ike all signature Christie stories, none of the characters are so incredibly likable that one especially cares if any (or all) must perish, and much of the fun is in anticipating who’s the next to go. “She’s lovely, of course,” quips snotty socialist arie an Schuyler ennifer Saunders when innet leaves the room. ut she
Armie Hammer and Gal Gadot (center) in Death on the Nile.
This wannabe blockbuster loses steam within about an hour, as though confused about whether we are meant to sympathize with these passengers or look forward to their untimely demises. will also be the first against the wall when the revolution comes.” ut this wannabe blockbuster loses steam within about an hour, as though confused about whether we are meant to sympathize with these passengers or look forward to their untimely demises. ranagh is best as Poirot when he is openly ridiculous — pronouncing “vegetables” as “veggie-tables” — not as a traumatized WWI hero who’s lost the love of his life. And as admirable as some of the deviations from the original plot may be — Okonedo as Salome Otterbourne, and Van Schyler and urse owers as lesbian partners
38 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
some of the film’s more overt attempts at progressivism feel downright risible given the number of nameless Egyptians dotting the background. Further distracting the viewer from fi y enjoyment would be the conspicuous motion capture-like cinematography in any extreme long shots. Think Polar Express meets Clue, and you’ll have a sense of I mean. Perhaps ranagh felt that the flagrant Orientalism in Christie’s 1938 novel would be easier to witness if the boat floating down the Nile, passing all manner of exoticized locale, didn’t really look like a boat floating down the Nile so much as a lurid
LANDMARK MEDIA/ALAMY
Death on the Nile Rated: PG-13 Run time: 127 minutes
S trip? ut if you’re going to spend a boatload of money, you might as well do it right. More actual footage of chugging down the world’s longest river, and less isney ungle ruise. Part of what made Agatha Christie the best-selling author of all time was that she played to readers’ most base sensibility: the enjoyment experienced not only in anticipating the possibility that someone will die, but in knowing for certain that this someone will die at the hands of another person. There’s an honesty to her literary goals — one as profound, possibly, as the plots are not. What to make of Death on the Nile almost fifty years after hristie’s death? adot and Hammer have lost much of their luster, and Edward Said is rolling in his grave. ut were she still alive, Christie likely wouldn’t care. She’d be too busy finishing another novel.
Savage Love
CULTURE Q:
I lost my lover unexpectedly last weekend. He was a long-time friend and eri i an in ere nally starting to turn as serious as I’d always secretly wanted them to be. I’m writing because I don’t know what to do with my desire for him, because that certainly didn’t die with him. He’s the only person I’ve been with in the past year and a half and re-reading our old sexts and thinking about the last time we were together has been turning me on. But I feel all sorts of torn up about masturbating to the thought of him. I want to do it, but I haven’t. We had a trip planned at the end of March that I am still planning on taking where he was telling me we were going to fall in love. We had been talking (he was on the other side of the country) and video sexting about all the things we were going to do to each other, and I was looking forward to having the best sex of my life with him (we really connected in bed) while on a tropical island. Now I will be going alone. Is it healthy for me to masturbate about him? I mean, I know he’d love the thought, but it also makes me feel so devastatingly sad. Thoughts? —Too Heartbroken For Witty Acronyms
A : First and most importantly,
THFWA, I’m so sorry for your loss — the loss of your friend and lover, and the loss of the future you might have had with him. My heart goes out to you. s for your specific uestion Back in my younger days, when I first started writing this column, I advised people against masturbating about the dead. Being a gay man who came out just as the AIDS Crisis was starting, I would go on to lose friends and boyfriends during that pandemic, including the first man I ever truly loved. Looking back, I gave the advice I did — don’t masturbate about the dead — not because it was good advice for everyone, THFWA, but because sex was so closely associated with death for me that I personally couldn’t bear the thought of doing anything that would make that association any stronger. When I was in my twenties and early thirties, I could only masturbate about things that were still possible in the future I hoped to have, and not about the people and possibilities I’d already lost. So, as alive as my desire still was for my first true love, I couldn’t fantasi e about my time with him. It made me feel his loss too deeply at a time when I knew more loss was coming my way, and soon. And maybe it was easier for me to avoid masturbating about him, seeing as I only had my memories of
him, and not a smartphone full of sext messages and dirty videos. Anyway, THFWA, what I wanted to say and what I can see now is that we all grieve in our own ways. If the thought of masturbating about your lover gives you a feeling of peace or pleasure or makes you feel connected to him — if reading those sexts messages and watching those videos comfort you more than they grieve you — you should do it. But brace yourself for the very real possibility that you’ll be overwhelmed by feelings of loss after you climax. While fantasies have the power to lift us out of the moment, our refractory periods have a way of throwing us back down to Earth. You’ll rub one out, then you’ll cry it out. And if that’s what you need, if that makes you feel better, if that helps you feel his presence and not just his loss there’s more than one way someone’s memory can be a blessing.
Q:
I’m a 22-year-old straight man. My problem is simple but hard to solve: How do I cope with intense sexual desires that ann e ai e e een ealin i this problem since I developed a libido. I have a lot of sexual fantasies that I cannot satisfy for two reasons. First, because I’m not considered attractive by the people I’m attracted to. Secondly, I am now in a long-distance monogamous relationship. The relationship is perfect. We have a lot of great sex when we are together, but I cannot try other things I’d like to explore. My girlfriend doesn’t want to open the relationship and I respect that. I honestly love her more than my need to have other sexual experiences. Also, I believe that even if we opened the relationship, I wouldn’t have much opportunity to try other things anyway. Seeing as I can’t have all the experiences I’d like to — and I feel like a whiny cis-het babyman typing that — what is the best way to cope with frustration? Can I reduce my sexual desire? I have looked at pharmaceuticals, but they all need medical prescriptions. Would physical activity or certain behavioral therapies help? I don’t want this to be a problem for my girlfriend or for me. Am I too greedy? More broadly, how can our society take care of all those people which, for some reason, are excluded from a satisfactory sex life? I hope this is not a stupid question. —Libido Is Brimming, Intense Desires Obsess
A : Even the hottest people — and by, “the hottest people,” I mean, “the most conventionally-attractive people,” and it needs to be said that not all conventionally-attractive people are hot and not all hot people are conventionally
40 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
By Dan Savage
I’m not sure what it implies. When told that I’d like to have a brief chat before jumping into play, he basically said that he prefers to just “jump right in.” When I brought up my boundaries he seemed to respect them but again emphasized that he likes to play with a new partner right away. He lives in another town but is willing to drive to where I live to meet me. That’s the reason I’m writing you. I need to make a decision here and I can’t. Is it a bad idea to play with a total ran er e en i n e i ea —Suffering Newly Out Guy JOE NEWTON
attractive — don’t get everything they want. Some don’t know how to ask for what they want, some are too paraly ed by shame to ask for it, and some are so out of touch with their own desires that they don’t even know what they want. So, you shouldn’t look at the conventionally attractive and assume their sex lives are better than yours, LIBIDO, which to be honest sounds pretty good. Instead of dumping the girlfriend you’ve got because she doesn’t want to open your relationship, LIBIDO, I would encourage you to live in hope. She may not be interested in opening the relationship now, but she might be open to the idea at some point down the road. Most couples in open relationships were monogamous to start, sometimes for many years. A time may come when your girlfriend is not just willing to open your relationship (fully or just enough to let you explore some of your kinks with others), but excited about the idea herself. In the meantime, enjoy the sex you’re having, masturbate about the sex you’d like to have, and stop contemplating chemical castration.
Q:
I’m a 35-year-old gay man who spent most of his life in the closet. I’ve been with very few men, and they were all bad hookups. I’ve grown frustrated with the lack of opportunities to meet people, but lately I feel like I need to just be with someone. But I feel like I can’t trust myself meeting people on apps anymore, partly due to fear of STIs, partly due to bad experiences, and partly due to my fear of meeting someone who is scary or possessive. It’s gotten to the point where my desire to be with a guy is causing me real fferin . ll e a e an re out a way to meet someone without risk. I started talking to one guy on this gay app and our kinks are fairly aligned and everything he’s saying sounds good, but he also seems like maybe he does this a lot. He kept referring to himself as a “pig,” which I found kind of hot but
A : The world is on fire.
Let this pig come see you. Meet the pig in a public place. If the pig gives you a bad feeling — not the bad feeling you arrived with, but some other bad feeling — you don’t have to go through with anything. But if the pig seems nice and you have a good feeling, SNOG, then you can invite him back to your place and have some of that kinky sex you wanna have. (And all “pig” means in this context is, “This dude likes sex and with the right guy or guys he’ll fucking wallow in it.”) Why is this pig rushing things? Well, maybe he’s been watching CNN and knows the world is on fire along with at least one of the nuclear power plants in it — and wants to experience the joy and connection of sex with a man he’s attracted to while he still can. And he’s accepted something you’re gonna need to accept if you ever wanna have the sex you fantasi e about There’s no such thing as risk-free sex. ou can minimi e your risk for ac uiring an STI by getting on PrEP and using condoms or by avoiding penetration and sticking to kink play and mutual masturbation; you can minimi e the risk of meeting someone scary or dangerous by watching out for red flags and trusting your judgment. ut at the end of the day you gotta take a chance. And this guy’s willingness to take a chance on you isn’t by itself a red flag, SNOG, as it’s not uncommon for gay men to wanna fuck right away, aka, establishing sexual compatibility before making a huge emotional investment in a potential new sex and/or romantic partner. I can’t promise you this experience will go any better than your past experiences. But I can promise you that you’ll never have a good experience if you aren’t willing to take reasonable risks, SNOG, and this guy seems like a reasonable risk to me. Ask: questions@savagelove.net! Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage! Columns, podcasts, books, merch, and more at www.savage.love!
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
41
CULTURE ARIES: March 21 – April 19 Aries author Isak Dinesen defined true piety as loving one’s destiny unconditionally. That’s a worthy goal for you to aspire to in the coming weeks. I hope you will summon your deepest reserves of ingenuity and imagination as you cultivate a state of mind in which you adore your life just as it is. ou won’t compare it negatively to anyone else’s fate, and you won’t wish it were di erent from what it actually is. Instead, you will be pleased and at peace with the truth of exactly who you are right now. TAURUS: April 20 – May 20 s author ary uefle points out, In the beginning, illiam Shakespeare was a baby, and knew absolutely nothing. He couldn’t even speak. nd yet eventually, he became a literary superstar among history’s greatest authors. hat happened in between? I’m not exaggerating when I attribute part of the transformation to magic. ast amounts of hard work and help and luck were involved, too. ut to change from a wordless, uncoordinated sprout to a potent, influential maestro, Taurus-born Shakespeare had to be
Free Will Astrology By Rob Brezsny
the beneficiary of mysterious powers. I bring this up, Taurus, because I think you will have access to comparable mojo during the next four weeks. GEMINI: May 21 – June 20 s talented and financially successful as anye est is, the emini singer-songwriter experiences a lot of emotional su ering. ut no one lives an ideal life, right? nd we can learn from everyone. In any case, I’ve chosen uotes by anye that are in rapt alignment with your astrological omens. Here they are . I’m in pursuit of awesomeness excellence is the bare minimum. 2. ou’re not perfect, but you’re not your mistakes. . I’m not comfortable with comfort. I’m only comfortable when I’m in a place where I’m constantly learning and growing. . verything I’m not makes me everything I am. CANCER: June 21 – July 22 ny real ecstasy is a sign you are moving in the right direction, wrote philosopher Saint Teresa of vila, who was renowned for her euphoric spiritual experiences. So is there any such thing as fake ecstasy, as she implies? aybe fake ecstasy would be perverse bliss at the misfortune of an enemy, or the trivial joy that comes from reali ing your house keys aren’t missing. eal ecstasy, on the other hand, might arise from a visceral sense of the presence of od, or the rapture that emerges as you make love with a person you care for, or the elation you feel when you commune with your favorite animal. nyway, ancerian, I predict that in the coming days, you will have an extra rich potential for the real kinds of rhapsodic delight and enchantment. LEO: July 23 – August 22 eo actor ennifer awrence portrayed a rugged, fierce, resourceful champion in The Hunger ames film trilogy. In real life, however, she has few resemblances to that stalwart hero. I have the street smarts and survival skills of a poodle, she has confessed. ut I’ve got potentially good news for her and all the rest of you eos. The coming months will be a favorable time for you to cultivate the ualities of a rugged, fierce, resourceful champion. nd right now would be an excellent time to launch your e orts. VIRGO: August 23 – Sept. 22 ach of us periodically has to deal with conflict. There come times when we must face the fact that a specific situation in our lives isn’t working well and needs to be adjusted, fixed, or transformed. e might prefer to pretend the problem doesn’t exist. e
42 March 9-15, 2022 | metrotimes.com
Personally, I have no problem if you regard your body as a source of physical attraction as a gorgeous, radiant expression of your life energy, worthy of inspiring the appreciation of others. ut I agree with Som that you should also treat your body as a sacred sanctuary deserving of your reverence especially now. Please boost your intention to provide your beloved organism with all the tender care it needs and warrants. JAMES NOELLERT
may be inclined to endure the stressful discomfort rather than engage with its causes. ut such an approach won’t be right for you in the coming days, dear irgo. or the sake of your mental and spiritual health, you have a sacred duty to bravely risk a struggle to improve things. I’ll provide you with advice from novelist ohn owles. He said, I must fight with my weapons. ot his. ot selfishness and brutality and shame and resentment. owles goes on to say that he will o er generosity and gentleness and no-shame and forgiveness. LIBRA: Sept. 23 – Oct. 22 blogger named ysteryOfhat expressed appreciation for her errors and wrong turns. I love all my mistakes she exclaimed. I had fun She has a theory that she would not have been able to completely fulfill her interesting destiny without her blunders and her brilliant adjustments to those blunders. I won’t encourage you to be uite so boisterously unconditional in celebrating your fumbles and miscues, ibra. y inclination is to urge you to honor them and feel grateful for them, but I’m not sure I should advise you to shout out, I love all my mistakes I had fun ut what do you think?
CAPRICORN: Dec. 22 – Jan. 19 It’s surprising how much memory is built around things unnoticed at the time, writes author arbara ingsolver. es I agree. nd by providing you with this heads-up from her, I’m hoping that the subtly potent events unfolding for you in the coming weeks will not go unnoticed. I’m hoping you will be alert for seemingly small but in fact crucial developments and thereby give them all the focus and intelligence they deserve. ater, you’ll remember this delicately pivotal time with ama ed gratitude. AQUARIUS: Jan. 20 – Feb. 18 hat’s more important to learn or to unlearn? The answer, of course, is they are e ually important. ut sometimes, the most crucial preparation for a new learning phase is to initiate a surge of unlearning. That’s what I’m recommending for you right now. I foresee you embarking on a series of extravagant educational experiences in a couple of weeks. nd the best way to ensure you take maximum advantage of the available lessons is by dumping useless knowledge and irrelevant information and numbing habits.
SCORPIO: Oct. 23 – Nov. 21 Scorpio poet orman ac aig wrote, sk me, go on, ask me to do something impossible, something freakishly useless, something unimaginable and inimitable like making a finger break into blossom or walking for half an hour in twenty minutes or remembering tomorrow. I hope people say things like that to you soon, Scorpio. I hope allies playfully nudge you to stretch your limits, expand your consciousness, and experiment on the frontier. To encourage such a development, you could do the same for your beloved allies nudge them to stretch their limits, expand their consciousness, and experiment on the frontier.
PISCES: Feb.19 – March 20 Singer-songwriter ill Scott has earned one platinum and two gold records. She approaches her craft with diligence and intensity. On one occasion, she was frying a burger at her boyfriend’s house when she sensed a new song forming in her imagination. bandoning the stove, she ran into the next room to grab pen and paper. Soon she had transcribed the beginning of a melody and lyrics. In the meantime, though, the kitchen caught on fire. uckily, she doused it. ater ill testified, His cabinets were charred, and he was furious. ut it was worth it for a song. I don’t think you’ll have to make as big a sacrifice as hers in the coming days, Pisces. ut you should respond robustly whenever inspiration arrives
SAGITTARIUS: Nov. 22 – Dec. 21 ook at your body not as a source of physical attraction but as a shrine, wrote teacher Sobonfu Som .
This week’s homework: Every day for three days, seek out three experiences that will make you laugh a lot. Report results.
EMPLOYMENT
SERVICES
SERVICES
ADULT
CASHIER/CLERK WANTED
HOME REPAIR
PUBLISHING
ADULT ENTERTAINMENT
UPTOWN ADULT SUPERSTORE
BATH & SHOWER UPDATES
BECOME A PUBLISHED AUTHOR!
HIRING SEXY WOMEN!!!
(DVD’s, Toys, etc) Detroit area, must be 18yrs old. Cashier, stock & cleaning Benefits-Hol/Vac/Health Call (313)869-9477 or come in to apply
EMPLOYMENT MARKETING MANAGER (Westland, MI) Develop, implement, execute marketing campaigns; develop marketing programs; analyze market trends and prepare forecasts. FT 7 AM-4PM, 40 hrs/wk. US or Foreign Bachelor of Science in Business Administration. Send resume to Ms. G. Canamo, Four Seasons Rehab and Nursing Center, 8365 Newburgh Rd., Westland, MI 48185.
SERVICES HOME REPAIR
NEVER PAY FOR COVERED HOME REPAIRS AGAIN!
Complete Care Home Warranty COVERS ALL MAJOR SYSTEMS AND APPLIANCES. 30 DAY RISK FREE. $200.00 OFF + 2 FREE Months! 1-877-6730511. Hours Mon-Thu, Sun : 9:30 am to 8:00 pm Fri : 9:30 am to 2:00 pm (all times Eastern) (AAN CAN)
in as little as ONE DAY! Affordable prices - No payments for 18 months! Lifetime warranty & professional installs. Senior & Military Discounts available. Call: 1-877-6495043 (AAN CAN)
HEALTH
STILL PAYING TOO MUCH FOR YOUR MEDICATION?
Save up to 90% on RX refill! Order today and receive free shipping on 1st order prescription required. Call 1-855-750-1612 (AAN CAN)
HEALTH
VIAGRA AND CIALIS USERS!
We edit, print and distribute your work internationally. We do the work… You reap the Rewards! Call for a FREE Author’s Submission Kit: 844-511-1836. (AAN CAN)
ESCORT
4G LTE HOME INTERNET NOW AVAILABLE!
RAQUEL: BLONDE BOMBSHELL
Get GotW3 with lightning fast speeds plus take your service with you when you travel! As low as $109.99/ mo! 1-888-519-0171 (AAN CAN)
TV/CABLE/INTERNET
CABLE PRICE INCREASE AGAIN?
50 Pills SPECIAL $99.00 FREE Shipping! 100% guaranteed. CALL NOW! 888-531-1192 (AAN CAN)
MOVING
TRAINING / EDUCATION / MISC.
LONG DISTANCE MOVING
COMPUTER & IT TRAINING PROGRAM!
NOW HIRING
Train ONLINE to get the skills to become a Computer & Help Desk Professional now! Grants and Scholarships available for certain programs for qualified applicants. Call CTI for details! 1-855-554-4616 (AAN CAN)
248-432-7201
ADULT
TV/CABLE/INTERNET
Switch To DIRECTV & Save + get a $100 visa gift card! Get More Channels For Less Money. Restrictions apply. Call Now! 877-693-0625 (AAN CAN)
Call today for a FREE QUOTE from America’s Most Trusted Interstate Movers. Let us take the stress out of moving! Speak to a Relocation Specialist, call 855-947-2919 (AAN CAN)
Hiring sexy women (& men). Highly Paid Magazine, Web, and Movie/TV work. no experience needed, all sizes accepted. 313-289-2008.
Clean & Discreet 36 Triple D, 5’7” Long Blonde Hair Entertainment Professional Call - 734-334-6133 Hiring fun young women Serious inquiries only Hiring bonus
ADULT MALE GIGOLO FOR COUPLES AND SINGLES
Handsome, white, 42, bisexual, fit, healthy, short, dark curly hair, mustache, 420 friendly, expert masseur. I travel to your local home, office or hotel. Also available for events or as dinner companion. $120 cash hourly. Call or text - Jake 947-234-3289 from 10am to midnight.
TO ADVERTISE IN MT CLASSIFIEDS CALL (313) 961-4060
MASSAGE
PROFESSIONAL SERVICES ONLY
(INDEPENDENT) DRAPING IS REQUIRED INTAKE FORM is given COVID -19 READY Enjoy a calm and soothing massage HEALTHY BENEFIT HEALTHY MASSAGE 734 447 7895 Early and late appointments are available must be left on Credit Card on file.
MASSAGE
RELAXING NURU MASSAGE
for the quarantine must not be sick. Must be clean and wear mask. Outcalls only incalls are at your cost Hey I’m here to help. This is Candy melt in your mouth so try my massages they’re sweet as can be!!! (734) 596-1376
metrotimes.com | March 9-15, 2022
43