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FRIDAY MAY 15th
UNCLE JOHN’S BAND
Creative Loafing Tampa Bay’s mailbag has been busy. So busy in fact, that we couldn’t even fit an op-ed about Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier into print (find it at cltampa.com/news). Keep sending us correspondence, and, yes, commenting on social media. We’re reading a lot of it, and getting as much of the feedback as possible onto this page each week.—Ray Roa
Email in response to ‘The Don’ photo gallery from April 30 print edition
directly but creates “bad” ozone at ground level, unlike the protective ozone layer high above. It causes severe health issues, including breathing difficulties, throat irritation, asthma attacks, and permanent lung tissue damage, particularly on hot, sunny days. Cutting down forests and Building more developments and impermeable roadways will only make it worse… Let’s get some new leadership here in Florida.—@kellyofthewild on Instagram
Response to Tampa MAGA influencer
Craig Long arrested in Grady Judd’s prostitution sting (via Facebook)
SATURDAY MAY 16th DOORS 5:30PM •
Ewwww, one of your reporters actually attended a fascist political rally? Byron Donalds, the racist black man who said blacks were better off under Jim Crow. (Well, Donalds, SCOTUS just granted your wish). Donalds, the Trump sycophant whose head is so far up trump’s ass that he can suck Trump’s balls from the inside. Donalds, when asked what he would rate Trump on the economy, Byron gave Trump an A. Ironically, later that day I saw a clip from Joy Reid, where they were discussing the Florida Gubernatorial race. The concern was that many black voters, if not paying attention, will be confused about this black candidate. They may not realize this particular black politician pushes for “white” policies. Following Donald’s career, that is a legitimate concern
Did not have Grady Judd as the darling for the Creative Loafing bylines in the sunset of his career on my bingo card - but I am fucking HERE FOR IT!! He’s the guy in the middle, right?— Benjamin Bell
So, there is a real purpose to this rant. When the election campaign is in full swing, I would hope C/L won’t join the lamestream media in their sane washing. Call a spade, a spade. Oh, did that come off as racist. Cannot be, SCOTUS declared racism is “no longer a thing” in the United States.
Scan this to QR code to send us some mail:
Oh, and this is a fact. I am so tired of living in the Fascist State of Florida where morons control everything, that if Donalds does indeed win, I’m getting the ef out of this state.—Mark Diorio, St Petersburg
Response to the WMNF News story ‘Tampa Bay area ranks No. 100 out of 226 for ground-level ozone pollution, new report says’
And it’s about to get worse since the administration is working on repealing clean air act standards, as well as the recent approval of more ethanol dilution in gasoline (due to the “war”) that we know for a fact causes more ground level ozone - a key component of smog, formed by chemical reactions between emissions from vehicles, industry, and power plants in sunlight. It is not emitted
Once again the call is coming from inside the house.—Tiffany LeRoy
Judd is no saint, but this is definitely still funny.—Collin McLeod
Response to ‘Hulk Hogan’s Tampa Bay mansion slashes $2 million from asking price’ (via Facebook)
I feel like this is a far cry from his sprawling mansion in the reality series—Jon Wayne
What a sad thing to witness the dismantling of a man’s life. Even if it is such a man. Jennie Bee
Response to ‘May Day concert hopes to close gap in Tampa DSA medical debt fundraiser’ (via Facebook)
Medical debit fundraiser, while 88 companies paid
no taxes. My heart breaks when fundraisers and gofundme is your best chance at health care.—Shar Tastic
Creative Loafing should use the money that it receives from advertising to pay our medical bills.—Alon Frank
Response to ‘Static Fest brings St. Louis punk bands to Dunedin on Saturday’ (via Facebook)
Hell yeah!! Bring music back to the Tampa area. It’s starting to feel like the early 2000’s again. Younger generation is stepping up and doing well. The lineup looks amazing and I’m really proud of everyone who is involved. You folks are doing a great job.—Adam Migueal Harvey
MEET THE CHEFS - ST. PETE
The Birchwood Hotel
Thursday June 18 • 6PM - 9PM 340 Beach Dr NE • Downtown St. Petersburg
participants include: Allelo, Birch & Vine, Central Food Hall St. Pete, Driftwood Cafe, Eat Art Love, HEW Parlor & Chophouse, Juno & The Peacock, LUMA, Q Southern BBQ, Teak, and The Helm Coastal Provisions & Fare
Sponsored by:
The best of Tampa Bay’s culinary
scene
in
one
room. Now in St. Pete & Tampa!
MEET THE CHEFS - TAMPA
The Vault Thursday June 25 • 6PM - 9PM 611 N Franklin St • Downtown Tampa
participants include: Anthony Santos (Private Chef), Bar Terroir, Bulla Gastrobar, Con Amor, District South Kitchen + Craft, Palmette Brasserie, The Pearl Quiote, Sunda, The Gin Joint, The Tampa Club, Timpano Hyde Park, and Uno Mas
Presented by:
do this
Tampa Bay's best things to do from May 07 - 14. See more on pp. 27, 33, 35, 37
Here I am
The start of hurricane season is less than a month away, but there’s still time to get ready for the next big storm. Tampa Bay got a break from big ones last year, but some homes and businesses have not recovered from the devastating hurricanes Helene and Milton of 2024. At this expo, several Pinellas County departments will have info on how to prepare for and respond to hurricanes. Rescue equipment and vehicles will be on display. Plus, giveaways and door prizes including generators, hurricane supply kits and chainsaws. Hurricane Expo: Saturday, May 9. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. No cover. Palm Harbor Parks & Recreation, 1500 16th St., Palm Harbor. phparkandrec.org—Selene San Felice
All the things you said
The Bolts may not have the Stanley Cup this year, but the best hockey fans are still going to the cottage. Six months after “Heated Rivalry” premiered on HBO, the gay guy hockey mania is still far from cooling down. Raves and dance nights themed after the show have been popping up around the country, including one from Sunset Events at The Ritz in February. Think a room full of horny women wearing hockey jerseys as dresses, screaming along to the soundtrack and 2000s throwbacks while TikToks and clips from the show play on a big screen. This one, presented by Glory Days and Brokenmold at Bayboro Brewing, promises more of the same great time.
Heated Rivalry Dance Party: Friday, May 8. 8:30 p.m.-10:30 p.m. $25.67. Bayboro Brewing Co., 2390 5th Ave. S, St. Petersburg. glorydayspresents.com—Selene San Felice
He’s the best
Even before Lionel Messi, Son Heung-min and now Antoine Griezmann, American soccer leagues welcomed some of Europe’s biggest names. Bermudian Clyde Best, during his time in a West Ham United kit in the late1960s, was often the only Black man in the stadium. He scored 47 goals for the legendary first division club before ending up with Tampa Bay Rowdies where he earned 22 caps and helped bring home the 1975 NASL Soccer Bowl championship. A new film, “Transforming the Beautiful Game: The Clyde Best Story,” celebrates not just Best, now 75 years old, but the impact he had on European football and the world at large. The movie makes its East Coast premiere in St. Petersburg this week, with a May 7 showing that includes a red carpet meet-and-greet with Best, plus a post-panel discussion. The Clyde Best Story (East coast premiere): Thursday-Friday, May 7 & 8. 7:30 p.m. $35 & up. Hough Hall at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg —Ray Roa
SABRINA LANTOS/HBO MAX
DAVE DECKER
Soak up the sunflowers
Start booking those photoshoots, girlies, because Sunflower season is here. Hernando County’s Sweetfield Farms officially started its season on May 2, with flowery farm activities running through May 25. There are lots of ways to celebrate Mom this weekend, like grabbing fresh veggies and a bottle of wine for dinner after strolling through the sunflower maze and doing crafts. There are plenty of kids activities, including a hayride, tree house play area, tumbleweed rollers, jumbo foosball, pitcher pump duck races, plant-a-sunflower and animal visits. Picnic lunches are welcome, and food and drink vendors will be on site.
Sunflower Season Fun: Weekends through May 25. 10 a.m. $14 (free for kids 2 and under). Sweetfields Farm, 17250 Benes Roush Rd, Brooksville. sweetfieldsfarm.com —Selene San Felice
Hidden figures
As Florida’s six-week abortion ban persists, maternal and child health also suffer. But even in the nation’s darkest time for abortion rights since before Roe v. Wade, activists aren’t giving up. The Tampa Bay Abortion Fund is helping abortion-seekers with out-of-state healthcare, running period pantries and educating the public about why abortions matter. This event at the Black English Bookstore brings “Liberating Abortion” co-author and activist Renee Bracey Sherman. In their book, Sherman and journalist Regina Mahone detail a history of racism in women’s health and the people who fought back, including members of Jane, the Chicago feminists who provided abortions before Roe. The book explains how abortion has always been essential to community health and examines how society dictates feelings about reproductive health. General admission is a $10 donation to TBAF. A copy of the book can be added for an extra $20 for paperback and $30 for hardback. Anyone with a cost barrier can email fundathon@tbafund.com for a discount code. “No one will be turned away for lack of funds,” per the event description. “Liberating Abortion” with Renee Bracey Sherman: Monday, May 11. 7 p.m.-8:30 p.m. $10-$40. Black English Bookstore, 401 E Oak Ave., Tampa. tbafund.com—Selene San Felice
Help keep local journalism alive this giving season.
For 36 years, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay has amplified the voices others overlook. Now we’re launching the Tampa Bay Journalism Project to strengthen independent, local reporting on issues that matter—housing, transportation, arts, food, and accountability. Your tax-deductible support helps fund non-paywalled journalism for our community. Help support Creative Loafing Tampa during this giving season. Donating is easy, visit bit.ly/anfCLTampa
Broken promises
USF workers protest for union contact and affordable healthcare.
By McKenna Schueler
It’s been about a year and a half since the University of South Florida in Tampa unilaterally privatized hundreds of blue-collar jobs at the school, stripping workers of their state pension plans and outsourcing their jobs to a private contractor. Affected workers told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that they were given no notice of the change in employment ahead of time, but were promised that their benefits and pay would remain stable—save for the attractive pension plan that had drawn many of them to their government jobs in the first place.
have running water and that everything in the campus’s common areas and residential buildings remain in working order.
“We’re fed up,” he admitted.
negotiated contracts with elsewhere. Union leaders admitted that in this case, however, they’ve encountered resistance at the bargaining table in Tampa.
LABOR
Now, the workers say their new employer— the Southeast Services Corporation (SSC)—is failing to live up to their commitments.
“There’s so many broken promises that have already taken place,” Onex Cortez, a maintenance technician of about four years at USF, told CL. “Everybody’s tired of it.”
Originally from New York City, Cortez moved south several years ago and was drawn to the job at USF because of the state retirement plan—a pull he no longer has access to since USF outsourced his job to SSC. Based out of Knoxville, Tennessee, SSC is a higher education subsidiary of the multinational Compass Group, a private contractor that generates tens of billions of dollars in revenue annually.
“We have families. A lot of us are staring down, you know, looking down the barrel of retirement,” said Cortez, who’s in his 40s. It’s his job to help ensure the university’s buildings
Several dozen SSC workers and community allies rallied just outside of the USF campus last Wednesday, protesting against low wages and out-of-reach healthcare, while fighting for a fair union contract.
Originally announced as a “cost cutting” move, USF privatized roughly 400 largely bluecollar jobs, including Cortez’s, at the university in October 2024, shortly after the state decertified—or effectively dissolved—their former union, affiliated with the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees.
A small group of these workers quickly reorganized with the International Union of Operating Engineers, voting overwhelmingly to unionize through the National Labor Relations Board, the federal agency that oversees labor relations in the private sector.
“It’s just money right now,” said 32BJ SEIU Florida District Director Helene O’Brien, a 35-year organizer who’s spent the last decade organizing to build worker power in the U.S. South.
“We’re fed up.”
But Cortez is one of hundreds more who reorganized with the labor union, 32BJ SEIU, which represents more than 185,000 workers across the country, including contracted employees at the Tampa International Airport.
At USF, the newly unionized workers with 32BJ are currently negotiating a first contract with SSC, a contractor the union has
She, and other workers CL spoke to, said that SSC has effectively created a two-tier system since the privatization overhaul at USF, hiring new staff who are paid a lower wage, receive less paid time off, and are offered much costlier health insurance plans. “So many of them just decline health care altogether, because it’s premium-sharing, it’s high deductible, it’s copay — it’s crap,” O’Brien said bluntly. It bothers the former state employees, described by SSC as “transitional” employees, too.
“I work with some of these guys that are kind of like the newer guys, right, that came in, you know, getting paid less than us,” Cortez said. “It’s unfair to them. It’s just not right.” continued on page 15
BASTA YA: Workers outside USF in Tampa, Florida on April 29, 2026.
DAVE DECKER
A SSC spokesperson told CL in a statement that their staff “are an important part of the work we do every day to support USF students, faculty, staff, and the broader campus community.”
“As we continue delivering the services that help the campus operate smoothly, we remain focused on maintaining a positive, supportive environment for our associates,” they continued. “We will continue discussions through the established bargaining process and remain committed to negotiating in good faith with the Union to reach an agreement that is fair to all.”
Amping up the pressure
The SSC workers and community allies rallied just outside of the USF campus last Wednesday in support of negotiating a union contract that guarantees higher wages, equitable paid time off for new hires, and affordable healthcare.
They were joined by representatives of the West Central Florida Labor Council and the USF graduate assistant workers’ union, Graduate Assistants United, in addition to Tampa city councilman Luis Viera—a candidate for the Florida House—plus Tampa city councilwoman Lynn Hurtak, who’s running for Tampa mayor.
“These are working class service workers—in speaking with them, many are from Cuba or Venezuela,” Viera later wrote in a social media post. “I was proud to stand with these good people.”
That includes Pena, who has a chronic health condition that requires him to get bloodwork done regularly. While he previously had no copay for that bloodwork under his former state insurance plan, his current plan—through SSC—now requires a $39+ minimum copay each time, which he said is difficult to shell out on his current income, since he hasn’t received any adjustment to his pay to offset the added cost.
Luz Estella Palacio Amaya, another SSC worker at USF, said she was unable to afford tests recommended by her gastroenterologist because she couldn’t afford the $2,000 copay under her new insurance plan. “My husband needs medication for his heart, blood pressure, and diabetes, and those cost money too,” she said in a statement. “We give our all to the university community, but what are we getting in return?”
O’Brien said many workers relied on their former state plans for affordable healthcare coverage, not just for themselves, but to take care of their families. With major cost spikes hitting plans through the Affordable Care Act Marketplace—following the expiration of expanded tax subsidies last year—workers now have fewer alternative, affordable options if they can’t afford the health insurance or copays under what they receive from their employer. That’s especially true for the lower-tier workers hired after SSC took over.
LABOR
“We’re not asking for anything outrageous or outlandish or, like, extravagant,” Cortez argued. “We’re just asking for a fair contract for all of our employees, not just the transitional.”
According to O’Brien, economic proposals, such as wage increases and healthcare, are the primary sticking points at the bargaining table with SSC. The union is asking for a 6% raise for workers—since most workers haven’t received a raise since their jobs were outsourced in 2024—while SSC has offered a measly 1.5% raise in response.
“We believe that’s an insult to everybody,” said Juan Pena, an electrician of eight years at USF who spoke to CL shortly after the rally. He and his wife both work at USF, with her working as a janitor. Like Cortez, Pena was also initially drawn to the job for the formerly-guaranteed state pension plan, to help him plan for retirement. Now, they’re stuck with a 401k.
As for the wage offer from his employer, Pena’s not impressed. A 1.5% pay raise would provide just a $0.23 raise for a worker making $15 an hour at the university. “That is nothing,” Pena argued.
Still, O’Brien said that affordable healthcare is the main issue weighing on the minds—and pockets—of union members. Although SSC committed to keeping the former state employees on good healthcare plans, their new plans have still proven more expensive, she said, saddling workers and their families with higher out-ofpocket costs.
The union difference
For workers like Cortez and Pena, seeing their jobs outsourced—and later protesting changes to their benefits, made after the fact— wasn’t exactly in the cards.
But USF had an easier time making this decision behind closed doors once the workers no longer had a union to look out for their collective best interests or guarantee job protections under an enforceable union contract.
Blue-collar maintenance, electrical, and white-collar non-instructional workers at USF first voted to unionize with AFSCME in 2004, according to state records. But after Florida lawmakers passed a controversial anti-union law (SB 256) in 2023—designed to undermine and destroy the state’s teachers unions—many other public blue-collar workers across the state, including workers at USF, saw their own unions decertified as collateral damage.
The law required more workers represented by the union to pay dues— a voluntary decision under the state’s ‘right to work’ law—while similarly making it harder for them to do so. Without union representation, workers were also left without an enforceable union contract. USF’s decision to outsource their jobs was announced within mere months of their union’s dissolution.
“No matter where you work—especially when working in an industry that’s easily outsourced—without anything in a contract and a union enforcing it, you can lose everything,” O’Brien pointed out. “These workers really are the cautionary tale for every public employee in Florida who is not doing what it needs to do to protect the union.”
State records show that more than 120 unions across the state have been decertified since the 2023 law—a priority of Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis—took effect. The law, largely excluding police and firefighter unions, was praised by anti-union groups that have found themselves allied with both the DeSantis and Trump administrations. Those relationships ultimately helped the same groups successfully lobby for the passage of a follow-up law (SB 1296) this year that will make it even harder for public sector unions in Florida to survive.
“Only the bottom of the ladder has to be efficient,” O’Brien clarified. “People at the top can do whatever they want.”
Cortez, a maintenance worker with more than 20 years of experience in his industry, admitted that when his coworkers first formed a union with 32BJ SEIU last summer, he was initially indifferent. He wasn’t that interested in getting involved.
Only about 6% of workers in Florida even have union representation, after all— leaving many largely uninformed about the potential benefits—and having a union is even less common in the private sector.
“Without anything in a contract and a union enforcing it, you can lose everything.”
“We’ll see where that leads,” O’Brien said. “That leads to workers losing their pension, losing their health care, losing their paid time off, and you know, in a drive for so-called efficiency,” she said, referencing efforts by the state and Trump administration to downsize and eliminate government “waste.”
“All I had to do was attend one union meeting,” Cortez recalled. “Immediately I was just kind of sucked in.” As he spoke to his coworkers, and listened to their stories, “It really hit me,” he said. “I was like, man—something, somebody gotta do something, you know? We can’t just sit around.”
Considering his initial indifference, Cortez admitted he was a bit surprised by where he is today in the union’s fight for a fair contract. “I can’t believe how I went from—not very long ago—from not interested at all, to just like on the front lines of fighting this battle.”
HEALTHY CONVERSATION: Helene O’Brien says SSC’s healthcare revamp is crap.
NOW OPEN!
LIVE COMEDY SHOWS THIS WEEK
THURSDAY, MAY 7
7:00 PM: WEEKLY IMPROV DROP-IN CLASS
Give improv a try in a supportive, fun environment! No prior experience required! 8:30 PM: LONGFORM IMPROV SHOWCASE
Three great improv acts split the bill in this weekly show! Come for the Drop-In at 7:00, and stay for this show for free.
FRIDAY, MAY 8
7:30 PM: SALUD AND HAPPY DAYS: COMEDY INSPIRED BY STORIES ABOUT TAMPA FEAT. KAREN KRESS
Karen Kress, Senior Director of Transportation and Planning at the Tampa Downtown Partnership, takes the stage as the featured guest storyteller for this monthly show that blends Tampa life and lore with hilarious improv comedy. Don't miss it!
9:15 PM: LONGFORM CLASSICS: THE SPOKANE
Tampa Bay's best improvisers take on a different classic longform improv format each month. Actually, that's not true, we did the Spokane format last month, but it was so much fun, we're doing it again. Join us!
SATURDAY, MAY 9
8:00 PM: KELLY & KEVIN'S MOTHER'S DAY PREVIEW SHOW & LAST-MINUTE GIFT GUIDE
Did you forget about mom again? Don't worry, Commodore co-owners Kelly and Kevin have got you covered with this comedy show & last minute gift guide on this Mother's Day Eve.
OUTBOARD REPOWER
Oh, boy
Fired TPD assistant chief alleges discrimination and retaliation, records show.
By Valerie Smith
Last month, a top Tampa Police Department employee was fired for “failing to meet the expectations” of her role as assistant chief, and little other explanation was initially provided to the public. The new details came to light last week after the City of Tampa released Assistant Chief Ruth Cate’s complaint and documents from the ensuing investigation by the human resources department, which has previously been accused of not adequately investigating discrimination complaints.
The documents show that Cate—who had been with TPD for nearly 30 years and was the highest-ranking woman in the department—was terminated after a series of conflicts with the chief and other command staff, many of them related to gender discrimination. Her firing came two days after another employee—one Cate supported—gave a statement to internal affairs about a discrimination complaint.
and Bercaw allowed her to do so. Cate, Carr and Bercaw all acknowledge that there was confusion and miscommunication surrounding this decision.
In a conversation with Croteau around this time, Cate allegedly referred to staff as a “boys’ club.”
After shift bid concluded, Cate swapped roles with Owen, meaning Croteau was now Owen’s subordinate. Carr’s investigation summary said this is a common practice within the department.
LOCAL NEWS
Cate said she received notice that Croteau was filing a discrimination complaint in February, but that Croteau was advised by counsel not to communicate with her.
On March 18, Croteau provided internal affairs with her statement. Two days later, Cate received notice she would be fired. She was told she would not be able to remain with the department through to her 30-year anniversary in October. Cate was given no reason, and was told she was an “at-will” employee and could be fired any time.
was not made aware of Ms. Cate’s alleged role in advocating for Sgt. Croteau kept Duke at the time of his decision to terminate Ms. Cate.”
Carr’s investigation summary said.
Cate then says she spoke with the “Chief Executive Officer with the City,” but does not provide a name. On the city’s website, Mayor and former Police Chief Jane Castor is listed as the city’s chief executive officer.
“I asked if I was being asked to leave because of Desiree Croteau and was told by [the Chief Executive Officer] that she could not talk to me about that. She stated she was ‘heartbroken’ over the whole situation and ‘loved me’ but had to do what the HR attorneys were telling her to do,” Cate’s complaint reads.
In a text message to Creative Loafing Tampa Bay, the city’s communications director Adam Smith confirmed that Cate and Castor spoke, and said that Castor “fully supports Chief Bercaw’s leadership.”
Cate’s complaint says she did not resign the following Monday as expected, and that she told Bercaw she needed to consult with an attorney to make sure she wasn’t being retaliated against.
Bercaw’s response
Chief Bercaw responded to the allegations, saying: “I take allegations of discrimination and retaliation seriously, but I want to be clear that Ruth Cate’s claims are not supported by the facts. The decision to move in a different direction with Ruth Cate was based on a pattern of behavior that demonstrated a lack of leadership performance, judgment, communication, and a loss of confidence in alignment at the executive level-not on age, sex, race, or any protected activity.”
Regarding Cate’s allegations that she was pressured into retiring, Bercaw’s memo said: “she was not pressured, as these conversations occurred in the presence of the Human Resources Manager.”
Cate submitted a retaliation and discrimination complaint to the city following her firing late last March. The complaint first alleges that tensions rose between her and the other assistant chief, Brian Owen, after their positions were “upgraded” from deputy to assistant last year. While she was still employed, Police Chief Lee Bercaw advised Cate to resolve her disputes with Owen directly.
Cate’s complaint then says that she was denied the opportunity to attend St. Leo’s command school so that younger officers could attend instead. Many high-ranking officers in Tampa Bay have attended St. Leo’s, including Owen. A findings summary of an investigation into the complaint by human resources manager Rebecca Carr said that Cate was given the opportunity to attend other trainings, and that St. Leo’s was only attended by four of the 20 current command staff.
Cate did not respond to multiple requests for comment from Creative Loafing Tampa Bay.
Last year, the 2026 “shift bid” process began, where employees select positions and schedules they’re interested in and receive new assignments. Sergeant Desiree Croteau, Cate’s subordinate, was moved from the K9 unit to regular patrol during this time, a move Cate said she believes was motivated by “discriminatory animus” from Owen and Major Jason Dilliha, with no more details provided. Discriminatory animus is a legal term that refers to the intent behind an act of discrimination.
Croteau asked at this point if she could continue to work with her assigned dog, Duke. Cate reportedly advocated for Croteau to keep the dog,
“Chief Bercaw was advised of Ms. Cate’s comment regarding staff being a ‘boys club’ following Sgt Croteau’s initial interview, but
“You had the whole weekend to take care of this; you will be gone today,” Bercaw allegedly said, according to Cate’s complaint. Cate continues: “I told him I did not start this, and he told me, ‘Yes you did’, again without any explanation of what I had allegedly done.”
But the human resources department’s involvement doesn’t necessarily put employees at ease. This year, the city gave fired ex-staffer Scarlett Lopez a $350,000 settlement after she sued alleging discrimination and retaliation. Lopez’ lawsuit also said that human resources never adequately investigated her claims of discrimination or retaliation. The city disputed this claim, but ultimately paid several hundred thousand dollars to avoid arguing the case in front of a jury.
Smith told CL that the human resources department does discipline employees when continued on page 19
ANIMUS HOUSE: Ruth Cate allegedly referred to TPD staff as a ‘boys’ club.’
it’s determined that they engaged in discriminatory conduct.
Tampa chief of staff and former TPD officer John Bennett coordinates efforts between all city departments, and he is the direct supervisor of human resources and other departments. Bennett and Castor have worked closely together since they both started at the department. When Castor was the police chief, Bennett filled the same deputy chief position that Cate held before her termination.
In Bercaw’s memo, he highlighted several issues he allegedly had with Cate. First, he mentions an incident in which the Director of Solid Waste complained about an “inappropriate comment,” but Bercaw also said this wasn’t a policy violation.
“After this incident, a department-wide email was sent from Ruth Cate suggesting that one group of officers was treated differently,” Bercaw said, “and this was handled similarly to the previously mentioned case.”
This is likely referencing an email sent by Cate in 2024 that talked about discrimination against women in law enforcement. In both situations, internal review found no policy violations.
Bercaw then says that issues arose “following Ruth Cate’s most recent evaluation,” providing an explanation as to why someone receiving great performance reviews would be told she wasn’t meeting expectations.
Bercaw also said that, leading up to the National Association of Women Law Enforcement Executives conference, “Ruth Cate presented a pre-selected group of female attendees without an inclusive process.” He said that the department had to follow “relevant legislation changes” earlier that month.
Bercaw alleged that Cate refused to follow the orders she was given regarding selecting conference attendees.
Bercaw also alleged that Cate objected to the department switching the type of gun it uses—a position supported by Cate’s boyfriend, a training specialist at TPD. Bercaw also said Cate scheduled the Christmas tree lighting ceremony on a day he was out of town.
Bercaw also said that after Cate and Owen switched positions, Cate “was not regularly attending weekly district intelligence meetings, which are essential for the Assistant Chief of Operations.”
“Furthermore, after Ruth Cate’s termination, it was discovered that she had well over 25,000 unread emails in her inbox, with the overwhelming majority being in just the last several years, thus highlighting her inability to effectively lead and communicate,” Bercaw’s memo reads.
In the meantime, Bercaw said that Cate has tried to attend several TPD-related events, creating “uncomfortable” situations for staff. Cate has since retained legal counsel. continued from page 17
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RUTH-LESS: TPD is now without its highest ranking woman.
OPENINGS & CLOSINGS
RESTAURANTS RECIPES DINING GUIDES
Seafood swap
Haven closes for new concept, and more Tampa Bay Food news.
By Selene San Felice
Anew seafood-focused restaurant from the people behind Bern’s Steak House is coming to South Tampa.
Last Monday, Bern’s Steak House Group announced details surrounding its latest endeavor, Peddler + Potter Oyster House, which will take over the Haven space at 1002 S Howard Ave.
“As we looked at the long-term future of the property, it became clear this was the right moment to bring Peddler + Potter to life, a concept I’ve been developing for years,” said Haven executive chef Chad Johnson in a press release.
Also helmed by Johnson, Peddler + Potter Oyster House will center around an open kitchen concept with a robust raw bar focusing on Florida oysters, and a constantly changing daily seafood menu, according to a press release.
No exact opening date was provided, but Peddler + Potter Oyster House is slated to open sometime in fall 2027.
“It’s a bittersweet moment for many of us, as Haven has been home to so many incredible memories and played such an important role in shaping how we think about food and hospitality,” continued Johnson. “We’re excited to share something new with Tampa while honoring everything that Haven has meant to our team and our guests.”
Haven first debuted in what was the former SideBern’s space in March of 2015, and quickly became a well-loved South Tampa staple. If you want to say goodbye, Haven will celebrate its final day of service on Thursday, May 21 .— Colin Wolf
Amorino Gelato opens in St. Pete
World-famous rose-shaped gelato is now being scooped in downtown St. Pete. Amorino Gelato opened at 1246 Central Ave. on May 1. And staff gave away 1,000 free gelato roses at its grand opening celebration the following day. The shop is under the same roof as Bosphorus Turkish Cuisine, which opened earlier this year in the Edge Collective.
Childhood friends and cofounders Cristiano Sereni and Paolo Benassi first opened Amorino in 2002 in the heart of Paris and have since expanded the franchise to more than 200 stores worldwide. The St. Pete location is its second in Florida.
The first opened in Tampa’s International Plaza in 2022.
Amorino’s signature is its rose-shaped design, with each petal a different scoop of gelato, allowing guests to mix and match. Customers can also add a gelato-filled macaron to top their creation. The shop offers 36 flavors of gelato and sorbet, all made without artificial coloring or flavoring, including 20 organic options, according to the company.
at 1426 W Brandon Blvd. on April 30. The Brandon location, like most Whataburgers, is open for dinein and drive-thru 24/7. The chain opened a Lutz location also in April and a Largo spot in February. Whataburgers are also planned for Orlando and Fort Myers later this year, adding to more than 50 Florida locations. In 1959, Whataburger opened its first location outside of the Lone Star State in Pensacola. Tampa Bay was once home to at least eight Whataburger locations in the late-’90s and early-2000s, which have all closed.
Say Coffee House opens in St. Pete
Downtown St. Pete’s newest coffee shop has some extra buzz. Say Coffee House opened at 2414 Central Ave. last week, serving a vari-
The Grand Central district is home to a handful of coffee shops, including some of St. Pete’s most famous: Black Crow and Bandit. Owner Haley Huynh also runs Sip Tea Boba in Pinellas Park.
Say Coffee House is open 8 a.m.-4 p.m. daily. Follow @saycoffeehouse on Instagram and Facebook for updates.
Fresh Kitchen gets a facelift
As Fresh Kitchen prepares to reopen its flagship location next month, all of its stores are getting a new look. Ciccio Restaurant Group is spending more than $1 million to update Fresh Kitchen and fitness studio Camp, the Tampa Bay Business Journal reports. FK
The shop serves classic flavors like vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and pistachio, with rotating seasonal and limited edition flavors. Amorino also offers dairy-free sorbet options and a selection of gelato-filled macarons, crepes, waffles, sundaes, milkshakes, and cakes. Hot and cold espresso drinks are also available. For the latest scoop, check amorino.com.
Whataburger opens in Brandon
Texas’s most famous burger chain is making a swift return to Tampa Bay. Whataburger opened
ety of Vietnamese coffee, matcha and green tea drinks.
Vietnamese coffee is brewed in a slow drip process with robusta beans, yielding nearly double the caffeine as arabica beans used in common espresso and coffee drinks.
Vietnamese iced coffee is served with condensed milk, and Say has several versions of the drink, including a “Marble Drip” with condensed milk, milk and espresso. The shop also offers flavors like ube, Biscoff, strawberry, egg cream and banana cream.
stores in St. Petersburg, Sarasota, Miami and Davie will be remodeled with white brick exteriors and brown and tan interiors. Its signature pink will be a little brighter, with FK in bubble letters. The original location in South Tampa will reopen in June, and Ciccio plans to open two new locations this year and four more in 2027, brand head Jamie Lanza told the Business Journal. That South Tampa location first opened in 2014, and has since reigned king of the casual health-focused bowl market in Tampa Bay.
UNTIL WE MEAT AGAIN: Haven closes Thursday, May 21.
Beyond our Do This section on pp. 10-11, the comedy gigs on p. 33 and our events listings on p. 35, there are a ton of food and drink experiences happening around Tampa Bay— including Mother’s Day Brunch. Have a look at what’s going down the week of May 7-13 and beyond. All events are at community. cltampa.com unless noted otherwise. Head there for more and list your own.
MOTHER'S DAY BRUNCH
Aspirations Winery, Clearwater 11 a.m.
$24.80 & up
Azure at The Edition, Tampa 10 a.m.
Reservation required.
The Birchwood, St. Petersburg 10 a.m.
$18 & up. Buffet
Casa Santo Stefano, Tampa 11 a.m.
Reservation required.
Columbia Restaurant, Ybor City 10 a.m.
Reservation required.
The Dan at Hotel Flor, Tampa 7 a.m.
Reservation required.
Don CeSar, St. Petersburg 10:30 a.m.
$150; $75 under 12. Buffet
Élevage SoHo Kitchen & Bar Brunch
Buffet at Epicurean Hotel, Tampa 9 a.m.
Reservation required.
Flor Fina at Hotel Haya, Ybor City 10 a.m. $99. Buffet
Fresh Harvest Buffet at Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa 10 a.m. $79.95
Luma at SkyBeach Resort, St. Petersburg 10 a.m. $59; $20 for 12 & under
Maestro’s Restaurant at Straz Center for the Performing Arts, Tampa 11 a.m. & 1 p.m. Reservation required.
Ocean Prime, Tampa 11 a.m.
Reservation required .
Palmette Brasserie and Bar at Westin Tampa Bay, Tampa 10 a.m. $85; $50 for ages 6-12; no cover for 5 & under. Buffet
Rise Kitchen & Deli at Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa 11 a.m. $55.
Renaissance Tampa International Plaza Hotel, Tampa 10 a.m. $69 .
Rooster & The Till, Tampa 10:30 a.m.
Reservation encouraged.
Rusty Pelican, Tampa 10 a.m. $30 & up.
Ulele, Tampa 11 a.m. Reservation required.
Vinoy Resort & Golf Club, St. Petersburg 10 a.m. $145; $65 for ages 4-12; no cover for children 3 & under. Buffet
MORE EVENTS
Thirsty Thursdays at the Polish American Society Thursdays. 5:30-9 p.m. No cover. Polish American Society of St. Petersburg Clearwater Wine & Cheese Pairing
Tampa play shows immigrant stories are queer feminist stories.
By Selene San Felice
Dora Arreola looks good in black. She and her dance troupe, Muejeres en Ritual, pose proudly for headshots in black turtlenecks and cowboy hats—the kind of thing they wore in front of audiences around the world.
For nearly three decades, Mujeres en Ritual focused on telling migration crisis stories through a queer, feminist lens. As part of Arreola’s project, Queering the Border, the troupe performed at migrant shelters and camps at the U.S.-Mexico and Mexico-Guatemala border.
But when it came time to tell the stories they learned, black didn’t work anymore.
In her new play, “Que el amor nos haga (Until Love Makes Us),” Arreola and her troupe’s characters learn to embrace their queer identities and indigenous roots as they struggle to immigrate to the U.S.
For the first scene, where the characters walk with other displaced migrants, they wear black hoodies and sunglasses.
“We were more accustomed to that,” Arreola told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay.
Mujeres en Ritual members Kenia Delgadillo and Aymé Giles play the main characters with Arreola. The cast also includes dancer/choreographer Miroslava Wilson and musicians/vocalists Azzul Monraz and Gabriela Bojorquez.
For Arreola, it’s important to show audiences that even as her characters immigrate to the U.S., their identities remain unique— just as hers has. Arreola has taught dance and theater around the world, from her native Tijuana to Italy, Nicaragua, Canada, Poland, India, Massachusetts and now in Tampa at the University of South Florida.
“Queerness is pretty different in Latin America than the United States,” Arreola explained. “This American history (in the) gay movement, in queer movement...That is very powerful to everybody, to the world, but it’s not the same.”
LOCAL ARTS
Que el amor nos haga (Until Love Makes Us)
Friday, May 15 at 8 p.m. Saturday, May 16 at 3 p.m. $10-$25. Stageworks Theatre, 1120 E Kennedy Blvd. Suite 151, Tampa art2action.org
But rehearsing a scene in which the characters arrive at a gay bar in Long Beach, California, Arreola realized their usual look wouldn’t work.
“It was very minimalist,” Arreola said. “And I was like, ‘Wait a minute, we are not minimalist. We are maximalist.’”
So she turned to fashion designers in Tijuana.
The costumes in promo shots are definitely maximalist—beads, ruffles, lace, leather, denim and patterns blending modern queerness and traditional Mexican fashion in the Nueva Mexicanidad (AKA Neomexicanism) style.
The work tells the story of three women—a queer Dreamer (DACA recipient) and two separated lovers who are forced to flee Mexico and hope to reunite in the United States. Their journeys include “danger, interrogation, and a flock of unlikely guides,” per the event description.
Presented in Spanish with English supertitles, the play incorporates live music, dance, and video projections.
Growing up near the border, she continued, “To me, everything that was coming from the United States was a question.”
Through the play, she analyzes those differences and the questions she had growing up. Indigenous LGBTQ+ people in Mexico face discrimination that drives many to immigrate to the U.S., but Mexico also has a more progressive legal history than the States. Mexico decriminalized homosexual acts in 1871, which the U.S. didn’t do until 2003. Today, Mexico has stronger anti-discrimination laws protecting LGBTQ+ people—U.S. laws that largely eroded in Trump’s second term.
When it came time to choose music for that scene in the gay bar, Arreola considered queer music she grew up hearing from the U.S., like The Village People and Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive.” Instead, she went with “Ven BB” and “Fierro” from Renee Goust, a Mexican-American singer-songwriter who reframes traditional Mexican music through a queer, feminist lens.
That’s how Arreola approaches all of her work, including her theater and dance classes at USF. Her students, she said, are often nervous to talk about concepts like feminism and
queerness in a state where Gov. Ron DeSantis has tried to silence such conversations in state classrooms. But Arreolla isn’t afraid.
“Feminism moved theater forward. That’s why we are in theater,” she said. “If we don’t analyze these texts from the queer perspective, that is a feminist perspective, we’re not reading it correctly.”
Art2Action founder and director Andrea Assaf told CL that’s exactly why she wanted the arts nonprofit to put on the show.
Art2Action co-commissioned the play at Stageworks Theater along with several other national arts organizations.
“It’s centering women’s stories. It’s centering queer stories, LGBT plus stories …these stories are also migration stories,” Assaf said.
“I always think we learn the most about what a community is really facing when we look at the most vulnerable or the people who are holding the most intersectional identities.”
“It really is important to resist the pressure and the tendency to silence ourselves and to back down in the face of political pressures that are akin to fascism,” Assaf said.
MUJERES EN RITUAL: (L-R) Kenia Delgadillo, Dora Arreola and Aymé Giles.
Mama sita
Penny Vinik sells South Tampa home for a record-setting price.
By Colin Wolf
Photos by Ryan Ascone Media/Premier Sotheby’s International Realty
Penny Vinik, local philanthropist and exwife of Tampa Bay Lightning owner Jeff Vinik, has sold her massive Palma Ceia estate. The home, located at 914 S Golf View St. overlooking the Palma Ceia Golf Course, was first purchased by the Viniks in 2010 for $3.2 million, according to property records. The estate was then transferred to Penny shortly after the power couple announced a divorce in 2024.
The home was first listed for sale back in October for $19.8 million, and closed on Wednesday, April 27 for a record-setting $19.4 million. Paul DeSantis of Premier Sotheby’s International Realty’s South Tampa office represented Vinik in the transaction.
As of now, Hillsborough County Property Records have yet to show the buyer. According to Sotheby’s, the Vinik sale is “the second-highest residential transaction in Hillsborough County MLS history and the highest sale in South Tampa since 2021.” Derek Jeter’s former Davis Islands home currently holds the title for the biggest local sale with $22.5 million back in 2022.
HOMES
“This sale reflects the continued demand we’re seeing at the top of the South Tampa market, particularly for properties that offer scale, privacy and a truly unique setting,” said DeSantis in a statement. “Homes with this level of frontage and acreage, combined with a central location, are exceptionally limited.”
The 14,919-square-foot home comes with an adjacent vacant lot at 908 S Golf View St., which the Viniks purchased in 2023, as well as nine bedrooms and 14 bathrooms, a 48-foot heated saltwater pool and spa, multiple executive offices, a theater room, a fitness center and a 600-bottle wine cellar.
Every house has a story, and our mission is to tell Tampa Bay’s story through the lens of our community’s historic and colorful homes. Creative Loafing Tampa Bay’s real estate features are not ads, and are strictly operated through our editorial department. But we love public input. Do you know of a unique Florida home that we should highlight? Let us know, and email cwolf@ cltampa.com.
Generous support provided by
ALI BANISADR: THE ALCHEMIST
ON VIEW NOW THROUGH JULY 12, 2026
Ali Banisadr: The Alchemist is organized by the Katonah Museum of Art
This exhibition is curated by Michelle Yun Mapplethorpe, Director and Chief Curator, Katonah Museum of Art
Ward Shelley (American, b. 1950) and Douglas Paulson (American, b. 1980), The Last Library IV: Written in Water (detail), 2025, Paper, wood, corrugated cardboard, laser-printed and handwritten labels, packing tape, acrylic paint, found and manipulated objects. Installation view. Photo by by Jimmy Fashner. Courtesy the Artist. Promised Gift of Jill and Jay Bernstein.
CURATOR TALK
ON THE QUESTION OF ABSTRACTION
THURSDAY, MAY 14 | 10:30-11:30 AM
Join Noah Cox Assistant Curator, for an engaging conversation about the significance and evolution of abstract art, from the early days of Modernism to the present.
ART AFTER DARK + JAZZ NIGHT
WITH CHAUNCES TRIO
THURSDAY, MAY 14 | 5-8 PM
Experience a captivating night out, with exclusive after-hours access to the galleries and a performance by one of St. Pete’s most exciting jazz ensembles, Chaunces Trio
the code to regsiter or go to www.dfac.org/summer
Cracked up: Tampa Bay’s best comedy gigs
Healing With Humor, a non-profit founded by local comedian (and previous Best of the Bay winner) Rahn Hortman, raises funds for individuals and their families impacted by sickle cell disease. The comedy show is the second such fundraiser for the organization held at Side Splitters, with the first netting around $6,000.
Hortman knows how the disease can affect a family personally: Two of his adult children suffer from it, with one recently released from the hospital after a lengthy stay. A portion of ticket sales will go to the charity, as will proceeds from a raffle and a 50/50 drawing. Local business leaders Michael Donor and Erica Paradise are also personally sponsoring the event.
In addition to Hortman, the lineup includes another Best of the Bay alum (Johnny B), Jenn Weeks, and headliner Mark Gregory, who has appeared on Fox, Aspire, the Just For Laughs Comedy Festival and the Apollo Theater.
Get info on that gig and more of the best comedy coming to Tampa Bay May 7-20. See more at cltampa.com/arts.—Michael Murillo
LeMaire Lee Thursday, May 7. 8 p.m. $23.80. Side Splitters, Tampa Nurse’s Night Out with Greg Williams Thursday, May 7. 7:30 p.m. $22.50. Snappers, Palm Harbor Kellen Erskine Thursday, May 7. 8:30 p.m. $23.58. Clearwater Comedy Club, Clearwater Damn Gina! With Finesse Mitchell and Tisha Campbell Thursday-Saturday, May 7-9. 7 p.m. Thursday; 7:30 p.m. Friday; 6:30 p.m. and 9:15 p.m. Saturday. $30 and up. Funny Bone, Ybor City
Insight with Chris Van Vliet Friday, May 8. 4 p.m. $42 and up. Funny Bone, Ybor City Heroes Off Duty Comedy Tour Friday, May 8. 7:30 p.m. $44.25 and up. Capitol Theatre, Clearwater
Leah Bonnema Friday, May 8. 8 p.m. $20. Greenlight Lounge and Kitchen, St. Petersburg Tyler Fischer Friday-Saturday, May 8-9. 7:30 p.m. and 10 p.m. Friday; 8 p.m. and 10:30 p.m. Saturday. $30 and up. Side Splitters, Tampa Stand Up & Storytelling with Chris Kael, Craig Gass, and Riki Rachtman. Friday-Saturday, May 8-9. 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Friday; 6 p.m. and 8:30 p.m. Saturday. $28 and up. Side Splitters, Wesley Chapel Michael Mack Friday-Saturday, May 8-9. 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. $22.50. Snappers, Palm Harbor
Jimmy Kopteros Friday-Saturday, May 8-9. 8:30 p.m. $23.58. Sunshine City Comedy Club, St. Pete Beach
Chris Robinson Friday-Saturday, May 8-9. 8:30 p.m. $23.58. Clearwater Comedy Club, Clearwater Healing with Humor featuring Mark Gregory, Johnny B and Rahn Hortman Saturday, May 9. 5:30 p.m. $28 and up. Side Splitters, Tampa
Ginger Kelly, Tara Zimmerman and Kathy McSteen Saturday, May 9. 6:30 p.m. $20. Beef O’ Brady’s, Parrish
Kill Tony Saturday, May 9. 7 p.m. & 9 p.m.
$51.30 & up. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg
Landon Bryant (LandonTalks) Sunday, May 10. 6 p.m. $30 and up. Side Splitters, Tampa
Mother’s Day Unfiltered with Jimmy Kopteros and Ginger Kelly.
10. 7 p.m. $22.50. Snappers, Palm Harbor
BC Murphy
13 and 16. 8 p.m. Wednesday; 8 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Saturday. $20. Coconuts, St. Pete Beach
Queen and King of Reality Show with Nene Leakes and Carlos King. May 14. 7 p.m. $37. Funny Bone, Tampa
Marcus Monroe p.m. $22.50. Snappers, Palm Harbor
Zach Rushing
14-16. 7 p.m. Thursday; 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Friday; 5:30 p.m. and 8 p.m. Saturday. $41 and up. Side Splitters, Tampa
Learnmore Jonasi
14-16. 7:30 p.m. Thursday; 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Friday; 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Saturday.
$28.80. Side Splitters, Wesley Chapel
Radel Ortiz
and 9:45 p.m. Friday; 6:30 p.m. and 9:15 p.m. Saturday. $32 and up. Funny Bone, Ybor City
Tom Briscoe
7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. $22.50. Snappers, Palm Harbor
Drew Davis
8:30 p.m. $23.58. Sunshine City Comedy Club, St. Pete Beach
6:30 p.m. and 8:50 p.m. $53.15. McCurdy’s, Sarasota
Jessica Michelle Singleton
17. 6:30 p.m. $28.80. Side Splitters, Tampa
Christian Johnson
$27 and up. Funny Bone, Ybor City
Bill Pettifer, Caroline Post and Lauren
Dufault
Motorworks, Bradenton
Sierra Layko and Sean Harper
May 18. 8 p.m. $15. The Beach Theatre, St. Pete Beach
Te Davis Coconuts, St. Pete Beach
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The events listed in our Do This section on pp. 10-11, our Food section on p. 27 and the Comedy gigs on p. 33 aren’t the only things to do in town this weekend. Have a look at what’s going down the week of May 7-14 and beyond. All events are at community. cltampa.com unless noted otherwise. Head there for more and list your own.
ARTS
Fundamental Designs in Adobe Thursday, May 7. 6 p.m. $220. Tampa Museum of Art, Tampa
Thursday Ceramics Thursday, May 7. 6 p.m. $325. Tampa Museum of Art, Tampa Dalí In America (Opening celebration) Friday, May 8. 7:30 p.m. Runs daily through Sunday, Oct. 18. $35 & up. Dali Museum, St. Petersburg
MAACM Florida Dolphin Glass Class Friday, May 8. 10 a.m. $110 & up. Museum of the American Arts and Crafts Movement, St. Petersburg. museumaacm.org
Matriarch: Mother Muse Friday, May 8. 7:30 p.m. $22. Leblanc Venue, Ybor City
Sunflowers With Mom Friday, May 8. 10 a.m. $11.95. Sweetfields Farm, Brooksville. sweetfieldsfarm.com
Art reception: Growth Saturday, May 9. 5 p.m. No cover. GCAA ArtWorks, St. Petersburg
Charles Morrison: Head in the Sky, Feet on the Ground (Opening reception) Saturday, May 9. 5 p.m. No cover. Morean Center for Clay, St. Petersburg Florida NOW Opening Reception Saturday, May 9. 6 p.m. No cover. Florida CraftArt, St. Petersburg
Gelli Printing Saturday, May 9. 2 p.m. $75. The Paper Seahorse, Tampa Next Generation Ballet: Coppélia Saturday & Sunday, May 9 & 10. 2 p.m. both days; 7 p.m. Saturday. $27.60 & up. Ferguson Hall at Straz Center for the Performing Arts, Tampa Paws, Petals, and Gifts For Mom Saturday, May 9. 3 p.m. No cover. Outcast Brewing Company, St. Petersburg Mother’s Day Special: Glazed Tile Painting Sunday, May 10. 11 a.m. $75. Museum of the American Arts and Crafts Movement, St. Petersburg. museumaacm.org Paint Your Own Latte Cups Sunday, May 10. 10 a.m. & 12:30 p.m. $65. Atelier, St. Petersburg
Spheres Bubble Show: Orbs Sunday, May 10. 3 p.m. $20 & up. New Tampa Performing Arts Center, Tampa Fresh Squeezed 10: Emerging Artists in Florida Runs through Thursday, June 25. 10 a.m. No cover. Morean Arts Center, St. Petersburg.
Jun Kaneko: Silence Before Sound Through Aug. 23. $5 & up. Tampa Museum of Art, Tampa
FILM
The Clyde Best Story (East coast premiere) Thursday & Friday, May 7 & 8. 7:30 p.m. $35 & up. Hough Hall at Palladium Theater, St. Petersburg Movie Night: American Pie triple feature Wednesday, May 13. 7 p.m. No cover. Lower Deck Harbour Island, Tampa
LEARN
Cafe con Tampa Fridays. 8 a.m. $12. The Portico, 1001 N. Florida Ave., Tampa
Hurricane Expo Saturday, May 9. 10 a.m. No cover. Palm Harbor Parks & Recreation, Palm Harbor
Paper Flowers Saturday, May 9. 10 a.m. $85. The Paper Seahorse, Tampa Savory Herb Gardening Seminar Saturday, May 9. 10 a.m. No cover. Kerby’s Nursery & Landscaping, Seffner. kerbysnursery.com
Genealogy Research Group Monday, May 11. 6:30 p.m. No cover. Tarpon Springs Public Library, Tarpon Springs
MARKETS
Dunedin Friday Market Fridays. 9 a.m. No cover. Pioneer Park, Dunedin The Market Elaine Every first Friday. 5:30 p.m. No cover. The Grove, Wesley Chapel
Dunedin Saturday Market Saturdays. 9 a.m. No cover. Pioneer Park, Dunedin
2nd Annual Wesley Chapel Craft Festival Saturday, May 9. 10 a.m. No cover. The Shops at Wiregrass, Wesley Chapel Carrollwood Market Every second Saturday. No cover. Carrollwood Cultural Center, Tampa
Waypoint Artisan Market Saturday, May 9. 11 a.m. No cover. Waypoint Bar & Grill, Palmetto
Yearning Heart Market Saturday, May 9. 7 p.m. No cover; $10 under 21. Oscura, Bradenton
SPORTS
Dallas Trinity FC at Tampa Bay Sun FC Saturday, May 9. 7:30 p.m. $23 & up. Suncoast Credit Union Field, Tampa
WWE Backlash Saturday, May 9. 5:30 p.m. $101.30 & up. Benchmark International Arena, Tampa
Tampa Tarpons vs Dunedin Blue Jays Tuesday, May 12. 6:30 p.m. $2.25. George Steinbrenner Field, Tampa
Wednesday, May 13. 5 p.m. $5.55. George Steinbrenner Field, Tampa
THEATER
Eight O’Clock Theatre: Crazy For You Select times and dates through Sunday, May 10. $33. Central Park Performing Arts Center, Largo Jobsite Theater: Danny and the Deep Blue Sea Select times and dates through Sunday, May 31. $59.40 & up. Shimberg Playhouse at Straz Center for the Performing Arts, Tampa
Becky’s New Car Sunday, May 10. 4 p.m. $50. Early Bird Dinner Theater, Clearwater
Six Tuesday-Sunday, May 12-17. 7:30 p.m. Tuesday-Thursday; 8 p.m. Friday & Saturday; 2 p.m. Saturday; 1 p.m. & 7 p.m. Sunday. $61 & up. Morsani Hall at Straz Center for the Performing Arts, Tampa
Interested in advertising around this listing? Contact jhoward@cltampa.com and acarbone@cltampa.com for details.
Tampa Tarpons vs Dunedin Blue Jays
By Ray Roa
C CL Recommends
THU 07
Rock The Park: Liquid Pennies w/ Foxlair/Scrapbooking Downtown Tampa’s no-cover, outdoor concert series enters the precarious summer months with a bang thanks to raucous St. Pete rock band Liquid Pennies. Panama City Beach songwriter Keegan Sinclair brings his Scrapbooking folk-rock project to open the show which features visiting band Foxlair. Based in Central Florida, the quintet makes Midwestern emo complete with horns and lovelorn melodies (“Wendy, I”). 6:30 p.m. No cover. Curtis Hixon Waterfront Park, Tampa
Clearwater Jazz Holiday: Young Lions Jazz Jam at Sea Clearwater Jazz Holiday has a big party in the park every fall, but it works year round to make sure jazz education is alive and well in the Bay area. This sunset cruise is a chance for backers to not only see the fruits of the nonprofit’s work in action, but enhance their support for young musicians who’ll take over four decks on the Starlight Dining Cruise. 6 p.m. Waitlist open. Starlight Dining Cruise at Clearwater Harbor Marina, Clearwater
FRI 08
Country Thunder: Kane Brown w/Zach Top/Gavin Adcock/Shaboozey/Randy Houser/Gretchen Wilson/more Last month, pressure from environmental advocacy groups pushed Country Thunder out of St. Pete Beach to a new venue in Clearwater. The groups were speaking out against plans to hold the music festival on the beach during sea turtle and shorebird nesting season. “What Ifs” singer Kane Brown and crossover star Shaboozey, headliners for the final day, are among the lineup’s biggest names. Zach Top, Gavin Adcock, and Max McKnown are also among the 13 artists on the bill. FridaySunday, May 8-10. 2:30 p.m. Friday; 1 p.m. Saturday-Sunday. $150 & up. Coachman Park, Clearwater—Kailey Aiken
Curren$y In 2027, Curren$y has plans to release an album with The Alchemist and Larry June. In the meantime, the 45-year-old Louisiana rapper who was always ahead of the curve arrives fresh off the release of the latest installment of Roofless Records for Drop Tops , another collaborative album with Wiz Khalifa and friends. Listen to “Storm Shadow & Snake Eyes” to warm up. 8 p.m. $112.10. 1920, Ybor City
C Kid Cudi w/Big Boi/A-Trak Speech will always be protected, but it won’t protect someone from the will of their boss on a private tour. Late-aughts hip-hop god Kid Cudi kicked M.I.A. off his summer tour this
week after the 50-year-old “Paper Planes” songwriter went on a rant about immigration, being Republican, and not being able to bring members of her team on tour due to visa issues. “After the last couple shows, I’ve been flooded with messages from fans that were upset by her rants. This, to me, is very disappointing, and I wont have someone on my tour making offensive remarks that upsets my fanbase,” Cudi, 42, wrote on social media. Outkast’s Big Boi is still on the bill, however, alongside DJ A-Trak. 6:30 p.m. $82 & up. Benchmark International Arena, Tampa
C Napalm Death w/Deadguy/Brujeria/ Meatwound Fresh off a run through Japan, U.K. grindcore legend Napalm Death is back in America for dates built around Daytona Beach’s Welcome To Rockville. It’s been 36 years since the band, then making its debut as a quintet, camped out at Tampa’s famed Morrisound Studio and created Harmony Corruption . The album saw then-newmember Barney Greenway not only move the needle for Napalm Death, but an entire genre that started to blend grindcore with death metal in the aftermath. Another one of Tampa’s big contributions to the metal canon, Meatwound, plays support, along with Los Angeles extreme metal outfit Brujeria and mathcore elder Deadguy. 7 p.m. $35.06. Orpheum, Tampa
SAT 09
Busch Gardens Food, Wine & Garden Festival: Pop 2000 w/Chris Kirkpatrick/ O-Town/Ryan Cabrera/LFO If there was a tour built around late-’90s/early-2000s “Total Request Live,” it might look like this gig coming to the local theme park. Chris Kirkpatrick, the kooky, braided countertenor from Nsync, tops the festivities along with “All Or Nothing” boy band O-Town, LFO “Summer Girls,” and Ashlee Simpson ex-boyfriend Ryan Cabrera (“On The Way Down”). 7 p.m. Free with park admission. Busch Gardens, Tampa
C Mietze Conte w/Clay Nation/ Leonardo Joseph Nearly half-a-decade after exploding onto the electro scene with “Bunnybunnybunny” (stylized all-lowercase), Austrian composer Mietze Conte is still at it and bringing his playful live set to fans. Inspired by Björk and Bobby McFerrin, the 29-year-old also views the human voice as a malleable instrument meant for manipulation and modulation. Experimental Brooklyn producer Clay Nation opens along with homegrown DIY soundsmith Leonardo Joseph. 7 p.m. $20. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa
Prince Daddy & The Hyena w/Remo Drive/Restraining Order/Woolbright A decade after its debut, I Thought You Didn’t Even Like Leaving , New York punk band Prince Daddy & The Hyena is back with what is arguably a hit album. Released last month, Hotwire Trip Switch , ditches
THU MAY 07–THU MAY 14
previous excursions into conceptual territory, instead bottling up the chaotic energy of the band into a 12-song outing that leaves no room to catch your breath. 8 p.m. $28.03. Crowbar, Ybor City
C Tunnel Vision: Chemical Lex w/They Hate Change/DJ Donnie Luv In many circles, Peter Gatien is the king of nightclubs. That’s because of what he built at Tunnel, the legendary multi-level 12th Avenue spot that was home to Funkmaster Flex’s Sunday hip-hop night—and a meeting spot for artists of all stripes. A new event series hopes to explore and tap into the culture at some of music’s most iconic addresses and starts with The Tunnel. Revered Bay area hip-hop duo They Hate Change is on the bill along with Dyke Night DJ Chemical Lex. 10 p.m. No cover. The Bends, St. Petersburg
SUN 10
C The Florida Orchestra: Pops In the Park A revered Mother’s Day tradition returns to downtown Tampa for this no-cover, bring-a-blanket-and-picnic kind of concert. Chelsea Gallo conducts as TFO musicians and vocalist Jenny Kim-Godfrey work through a program that includes Gershwin, plenty of classical (Beethoven, Tchaikovsky), plus movie scores (John Williams’ “Jaws” and “Star Wars” suites, Alan Menken’s “Aladdin” orchestral suite), and patriotic stuff, too. Bring canned foods, dry good, breakfast items and other donations for the Feeding Tampa Bay collection. A detailed list of requested items is available when you find this post on cltampa.com/ music. 7:30 p.m. No cover. Julian B. Lane Riverfront Park, Tampa
WED 13
C Bush w/Mammoth/James And The Cold Gun Razorblade Suitcase was the sound of puberty for many folks, who’ll all be extra tired at work following this 30th anniversary show from Bush. Gavin Rossdale’s band just released a re-imagined version of that album’s lead single “Swallowed,” which the frontman explained came as he was writing songs about his life falling apart. We’ve all since gotten our shit together, but go ahead and tie one on to relive the glory days. 6:30 p.m. $54.50 & up. The BayCare Sound, Clearwater
C Chuwi w/Padro Pastel A few months after the band’s compatriot slayed the Super Bowl halftime show, Puerto Rican band Chuwi does a sold-out show with Padro Pastel (FKA Guy Average) in the support slot. Known for its infectious, updated, blend of plena, salsa and bomba, Chuwi traverses not just Latin music, but jazz and pop, with ease (as evidenced on its NPR Tiny Desk last fall). Founding siblings Willy, Lorén and Wester Aldarondo work with bandmate Adrián López to bring many sounds from home into their music, much like another Bad Bunny collaborator Fabiola Mendez. 7 p.m. $36.99. Crowbar, Ybor City
THU 14
Femme Faire: Atomic Life Featuring members of The Dillinger Escape Plan, Glassjaw and The Rivalry (Billy Rymer, Cody Hosza, Michael Sadis, respectively), Atomic Life is a relatively new rock band band that’s already played with Alien Ant Farm, TWIABP, and Head Automatica. It brings a dance-floor ready single “Strippers Anonymous” with it to this gig under the stars on the eastern edge of 7th Avenue. 7 p.m. $15. 1920, Ybor City
C Sulynn Hago w/Big Sad/Bad Bad Things One of the greatest guitarists to come out of Tampa comes home. Hago (Career, Feral Babies, Propaghandi) is now based in Brooklyn and finally branching out on her own for a 10-song solo debut, Faith in the Doghouse , which brings together a background in punk, metal and jazz. Singles dive into new wave (“Night Summer Heat”) and majestically-angular rock (“Driving Off A Cliff,” “Hot Drunken Steps”). Big Sad— featuring by Creative Loafing Tampa Bay photographer Dave Decker, who shot the cover art for Doghouse —opens this stacked bill that also includes Bad, Bad Things, a band fronted by Hago’s Career bandmate Ryan Fouche. Of note, Hago’s own band includes local punk-turned Chief of Emergency Medicine at TGH, Jason Wilson, who was a guitar student of his band boss. 7 p.m. $20.22. Crowbar, Ybor City
See the extended version of Music Week at cltampa.com/music.
NEW DEVELOPMENT: Episode 1 of ‘Current Conversations’ includes hard talk about our changing city.
Making waves
Crowbar owner
Tom DeGeorge launches
new podcast.
By Ray Roa
This summer, after 20 years in the district, Ybor City’s famed Crowbar music venue will close its doors. But its co-founder has already found another microphone. As this issue went to press, Tom DeGeorge and Tampa Water Limo founder Matt Rollie launched a new podcast recorded in a unique studio. Produced by Deco Studios, Current Conversations is the brainchild of Tampa Water Limo founder Matt Rollie who offers private charters to locals and visitors alike along the Hillsborough River onboard “Dulcinea”—a ‘60s-era vessel modeled after Northeastern picnic boats and Venetian water taxis. While Rollie, 51, is the captain DeGeorge drives the conversation.
Throughout the ride, DeGeorge revisits many of the talking points from his ongoing crusade to save the country’s independent music venues while Greco pulls no punches about how the city can do more. DeGeorge again floats the idea of a night mayor role for someone who can act as a liaison between after-dusk businesses and the government.
MUSIC NEWS
On the first episode, DeGeorge and Rollie welcome Garrett Greco, a fifth generation Tampeño, grandson of fourtime mayor Dick Greco, and founder of the Tampa Bay Developer Podcast. In 75 minutes, the 33-year-old up-and-comer and 52-yearold unofficial mayor of Ybor City bring their views—opossing and overlapping—to the table in a way that few other local podcasts have accomplished.
A hearty part of the talk centers around what local leaders have to do to balance bigger development while supporting smaller homegrown businesses. “It’s hard to have people in local government that are courageous enough to have those conversations in the open,” Greco added.
“We’re going to save the world before the boat ride’s over.”
“We’re going to save the world before the boat ride's over,” Greco joked at one point in the discussion, which even spills a bit of tea on a venue that wanted to open on 7th Avenue before powerful forces objected to its liquor license.
The entire production is chamber of commerce ready, too, thanks to the sunshine and scenery. In the first episode, DeGeorge is barefoot in a boat shirt while Rollie’s Dulcinea travels between Tampa Armature Works, to the Tampa Bay History Center, and back. The University of Tampa, and downtown glide by in the background. Greco also gets DeGeorge to commit to appearing on his Tampa Bay Developer Podcast for a second round. In full disclosure, this writer is also a guest on the podcast where DeGeorge hopes to welcome more guests with viewpoints that will help viewers get out of their echo chambers. Watch the first episode by finding this post on cltampa. com/music
"Keeping Tampa Bay's ear to the (under)ground since 1997"
Ybor City venue Crowbar is reserving two whole nights for its last ever “Hot Dog Party.” The Tampa concert hall is set to close before August after two decades in the district and has announced seven bands in the lineup for Hot Dog Party 20, dubbed “The Final Footlong.”
Leading the charge on day one is Young & Sick, the brainchild of Nick van Hofwegen who’s touring behind Lost At Sea , a 2025 collection of almost-yachty pop-rock. One of the band’s songs, a 2018 cover of Passion Pit’s “Sleepyhead,” even landed on the day one morning playlist for NASA’s recent Artemis II mission. “To be a tiny speck on this wild mission they’re on is beyond crazy,” van Hofwegen said in a TikTok video.
Young & Sick has a connection to the Bay area lately, too, thanks to Hot Dog Party founder Matt E Lee, a Tampa expat who’s been playing bass in the band on recent shows. The band’s Ybor City show is just one of three Florida stops, including gigs on WMNF Tampa’s “Live Music Showcase,” Will’s Pub in Orlando, and Jack Rabbits in Jacksonville.
A rep for Hot Dog Party told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that two versions of the infamous hot dog eating competition will go down: an all-beef throwdown on Friday, July 3 and the vegan contest on Saturday, July 4. “There will be championship belts for both days,” Brokenmold Entertainment boss Joe D’Acunto added.
Krewella Friday, May 22. 10 p.m. $26.48 & up. The Ritz, Ybor City
Bright Light Social Hour Tuesday, June 9. 7:30 p.m. $26.99. Crowbar, Ybor City
The Last Jam @ Crowbar: Displace (album release) w/Sauce Pocket/Zenzi Friday, June 12. 9 p.m. $17.67. Crowbar, Ybor City
Florida Heat Night w/Soft Cuff/ Hovercar Friday, June 26. 9 p.m. $17.67. Crowbar, Ybor City
Subhumans w/The Iron Roses Monday, June 29. 7 p.m. $30.45. Crowbar, Ybor City
Parrotfish Saturday, July 11. 8 p.m. $17.67. Crowbar, Ybor City
Billy Bob Thornton & The Boxmasters Sunday, July 12. 7:30 p.m. $63.50 & up. Bilheimer Capitol Theatre, Clearwater
L'Eclair Friday, July 31. 7 p.m. $17. Bayboro Brewing Co., St. Petersburg
Mon Laferte Wednesday, Aug. 5. 8 p.m. $79.40 & up. Mahaffey Theater, St. Petersburg
Other bands on the bill include Florida indie-rock darling Cannibal Kids, along with hometown heroes like songwriter Geri X, lupine punk band Wolf-Face, and “The freakiest boi band of Tampa” Bad Cameo. Jeremy Gloff, aka the Doggfather and creator of the Hot Dog Party theme song, rounds out the bill alongside DJ and producer Wally Rios.
Tickets for Hot Dog Party 20 “The Final Footlong” happening Friday-Saturday, July 3-4 are still available and start at $17.67. See Josh Bradley’s weekly roundup of new concerts coming to Tampa Bay below.—Ray Roa
Dirty Heads w/311/Atmosphere/Rome
Saturday, Aug. 29. 5:30 p.m. $40.50 & up.
Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa
TLC w/Salt N Pepa/En Vogue
Wednesday, Sept. 23. 7:30 p.m. $57 & up. Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa
Wu-Tang Clan w/Bone Thugs-NHarmony Thursday, Sept. 24. 7:30 p.m. $42 & up. Midflorida Credit Union Amphitheatre, Tampa
Dermot Kennedy Thursday, Oct. 8. 8 p.m. $55 & up. Yuengling Center, Tampa
Ty Myers Friday, Oct. 9. 7 p.m. $44.50 & up. The BayCare Sound, Clearwater
Weezer w/The Shins/Silversun Pickups Friday, Oct. 14. 7 p.m. $55 & up. Benchmark International Arena, Tampa
Raise kittens and puppies in a safe home environment
Earn 4 volunteer hours per day
MON - FRI 12pm - 9pm SAT - SUN 11am - 9pm TO USE THE POOL BRING YOUR OWN TOWEL
2 for 1 2 for 1 12-9pm 12-9pm 2 for 1 12-9pm HAPPY HOUR HAPPY H
Choices
Bisexuality and the patriarchy.
By Jane Dyke/Sapphic Sun
How do you think the patriarchy affects lesbianism? For instance, do you think many people say they are bisexual because they are socially conditioned to like men?—Anna Lyzing Lezzer
Hi Anna, your first question has inspired millions of pages of research and analysis. There are one billion answers. So let’s focus more on the second, more specific question about whether some bisexuals of the sapphic persuasion are only bisexual because they’re conditioned to like men.
I believe that every person’s sexuality is influenced by a lot of factors. A lot of people who are attracted to men might be attracted to them because they were socially conditioned that way. If that’s the case, so be it.
You might instead be asking about people who convince themselves they are attracted to men even when they are not, because dating men is expected of them or is easier. These people experience compulsory heterosexuality, or “comp-het.”
Some lesbians will tell you that they were once genuinely attracted to men, while others will tell you they were in a relationship with a man only because they felt like they had to be. Others still will tell you they always knew. All of these people are probably correct about their own experiences.
broach this topic with them. Just remember that you might be wrong, and even if you’re not, putting your friend on the defensive won’t help them. Most people have to come to realizations on their own terms, and no bisexual person wants to be bombarded by people insisting they’re wrong about their sexuality.
ASK A DYKE
Some people would prefer that they be able to dictate the sexuality of another person. Parents who tell their gay children it’s a phase, homophobes who advocate for conversion therapy and men who make the disturbing claim that they can “turn” lesbians are all part of this group. Obviously, those people are getting the wrong message. Sexuality is probably fluid, but you almost certainly can’t actively choose your sexuality. If you are gay and went to a church, you were probably told that “same-sex attraction” is something you “struggle with” that can be suppressed or otherwise changed. You probably realized that was wrong, and hopefully you did so quickly.
How do you know if someone is genuinely bisexual, or is just experiencing comp-het? You don’t. If someone says they’re attracted to men, you won’t convince them otherwise by telling them they’re wrong. Bisexual women exist, and for many, dating a man is the right move.
Maybe later, a bisexual person will realize they were never truly attracted to their partner, or they will realize they are no longer attracted to men. That’s none of your business. You probably can’t predict their situation any better than they can.
If you suspect a close friend might be denying their own sexuality, and you feel that it is working to their own detriment, you can sometimes
So yes, the patriarchy convinces a lot of lesbians that they’re really attracted to men. The best way to fight this is to push back on the stigma against lesbianism. This fight probably starts with the homophobes who seek to integrate their beliefs in every religion and culture, not with your dubiously-bisexual book club buddy.
Yours in love, Jane Dyke
The Sapphic Sun is part of the Tampa Bay Journalism Project TBJP, a nascent Creative Loafing Tampa Bay effort supported by grants and a coalition of donors who make specific contributions via the Alternative Newsweekly Foundation. If you are a non-paywalled Bay area publication interested in TBJP, please email rroa@ctampa.com. Support Sapphic Sun by subscribing to its monthly print edition at sapphicsunfl.com.
Hurdles
By Dan Savage
Am I wrong to think a relationship isn’t realistic for me? I think I’ve been sold an idea of love that doesn’t apply to my life, and I want to know if I’m wrong. I am straight and 34-year-old male. I have a rare progressive disability. I’m blind, I have severe hearing loss (I can’t follow speech with background noise), I use a wheelchair, and I have almost no motor control. I need full-time care, so I’m always with a caregiver. My voice is weak and hard for strangers to understand. Dating in the real world basically doesn’t exist for me. I can’t see or hear people approaching me, I can’t initiate contact, and even with help from caregivers, communication is awkward and exhausting. I use dating apps, but nothing has led to a real connection.
Here’s the question: Is it actually realistic for someone in my situation to have a romantic relationship? Or am I holding onto something that just isn’t going to happen? I don’t want reassurance for the sake of it. If the answer is that my chances are extremely low, I’d rather hear that and figure out how to build a life around that reality. But if I’m missing a way of approaching this that could work, I want to understand what it is.
I’d also be interested in hearing from other readers—especially anyone who has dated someone with significant disabilities, or who lives with one themselves—about what is possible.—Yearns Eagerly After Relationships Now
Dating in the real world—relying on chance meetings in bars, on the street, at work, etc.— doesn’t seem to work for many people anymore, YEARN, which is why most people are on dating apps these days. And most people on dating apps have similar complaints to yours: they’ve been using the apps, sometimes for years, with no real connection to show for their time and effort.
Okay, that’s where the sugar-coating ends— you said you didn’t want reassurance for the sake of reassurance.
It’s highly unlikely that you will ever find a romantic partner, YEARN, as your pool of potential partners is vanishingly small. I imagine that you would like to be with someone who is attracted to you, YEARN, but you probably don’t want to be with someone who fetishizes your disability (no “devotees”), which significantly reduces your pool of potential partners. But the right person—a person who is into you but not a fetishist—would also need to have the patience to work through your significant communication barriers and the willingness to work through and with your caregivers (and possibly become one), YEARN, which seems like a lot to ask of a stranger on a dating app, even one for disabled people (Special Bridge, Dateability).
Returning to devotees for a second: While most people would urge you to avoid “devotees,”
Andrew Gurza is the author of Notes From a Queer Cripple. Follow him on Instagram @ AndrewGurza.
and he can fill it – provided the fucking is good, which you have yet to determine.
i.e. women (in your case) who are specifically attracted to disabled men, I don’t think you should rule them out. Years ago, I interviewed a woman who’d lost a limb. While the attention of devotees upset her at first, she wound up marrying a man with an amputee fetish. Men who were willing to date her despite her disability, she told me, made her feel worse about herself (and her body) than this one man who was initially attracted to her because of her disability. If you were open to dating devotees, YEARN, you (and your caregivers) would need to be on your guard against someone who fetishized your helplessness; if someone sought to isolate you from your established caregivers and make you solely dependent on her, that person would obviously have to go. But I don’t think you should rule out someone who was initially drawn to you because they had a lifelong and inexplicable attraction to disabled men and who saw you as an individual and a person and not just a particular kind of body. (Most able-bodied people—the partnered ones—are with people who were initially drawn to their bodies, YEARN, but we don’t regard an attraction to “normal” bodies as fetishism.)
While love may be possible for you, YEARN, it’s not going to look like the idea of love you were sold. But like any single person who feels like the odds are stacked against them (due to age, opportunity, income, disability, etc.), your best course of action is to build the best and most rewarding life you can, YEARN, while continuing to put yourself out there on the apps—consistently, not obsessively—and hope that lightning strikes.
SAVAGE LOVE
P.S. I shared your question with Andrew Gurza, a disability awareness consultant, activist, and author. “As someone with severe physical disabilities myself and who needs a caregiver for just about everything too, I understand YEARN’s feeling wholeheartedly,” Andrew replied via email. “You just reach a point where romance and dating feel impractical and inaccessible in so many ways. I’ve only had a handful of actual dates in my life as someone with severe Cerebral Palsy. I wish I could have more, but I’m reaching a stage where I think I’ll be okay if I don’t. I don’t want to tell anyone to give up hope, because it fuels us in so many ways, right? At the same time, I know that we can live a fulfilled life without romantic love. Part of being disabled is not following the pathways that others have walked, but making your own. You can still find pleasure, sex, and all the other joys without tying them to romance. Sex work has saved my life in so many ways and shown me that I’ll be okay on my own. I hope that helps even just a little.”
I'm a 43-year-old woman currently undergoing IVF treatment to become a single mother by choice (SMBC). Five years ago, I was on this path and gave it up for the chance of a relationship with a man who ended up being abusive. So, I am naturally skeptical of ending up in the same spot. I have wanted to be a mom for forever, and that relationship was my last-ditch effort for the “picket fence.” I'm glad to be back on the IVF path and feel comfortable with my choice. I'm going to do a frozen embryo transfer in the next month, and we'll see how that goes. Here's the issue: My best friend was with her boyfriend at a coffee shop, and they ran into an old friend of his. He’s a man I've met a few times, when I was in the bad relationship I mentioned. He seems very kind and has always shown interest, but I never reciprocated (even though I thought he was hot) because I wasn’t single. They gave him my number (with my permission) and he seems very interested. (We’ve already set up a time to talk—at his instigation.) I don't want to be dishonest, but I also don’t want my ex to be the last man I slept with before sleeping with someone else—anyone else— got a lot more complicated and a lot less likely. "I might be pregnant this time next month" doesn’t seem like a great first date conversation but when do I bring this up? And how? Or do I? It might be a moot point if we don't vibe but by the time I hear your opinion I might really need to know how to do this! —Wants To Get Laid While no one is obligated to disclose their long-range plans to someone they’ve just met and might only wanna fuck once or twice, WTGL, I nevertheless think you should tell this man your plans for this time next year sooner rather than later. You’re a 43-year-old single woman without kids, which means there’s a good chance he doesn’t want kids and assumes you don’t either. (It’s not an unreasonable assumption about a woman in her forties who doesn’t already have kids.) If you can’t bring yourself to tell him before you fuck him once or twice (for fear of your awful ex forever holding the title of Last Man You Fucked), WTGL, I wouldn’t blame or shame you for waiting to see if you vibe. But you absolutely, positively have to tell this man you’re trying to get pregnant before you fuck him a third time. (If you don’t know what to say, WTGL, send him a link to this column, tell him one of the questions is from you, and ask him to guess which one is yours.) If he wants kids or is open to the idea of having a kid or being in a relationship with someone who does, great! You can keep fucking and dating and see where this goes. If he absolutely, positively doesn’t want kids and doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship with someone who does, great! The position of pre-partum and post-partum fuckbuddy is open,
I'm a queer and non-monogamous woman. I live with my nesting partner and our cat and dog. Now, the quandary with which I come to you seems a little bit trivial: I have a crush on my dogwalker. I have a decent feeling that she may be queer, but no idea if she is interested— nor if there is an appropriate way for me to let her know that if she were interested, I would be interested too. I know that it can be extremely awkward to be hit on at work, especially if your answer is no and you’ve been asked face-to-face and then you must continue to interact with the person you rejected regularly. So, hitting on her like that seems out of the question, as I don't want to lose her as a dogwalker. Is there some sweet spot solution I'm missing here?—Ruminating Over Very Exciting Romance
There are some significant hurdles you need to clear before you can fuck your dog walker: she has to be queer (not everyone is), she has to be attracted to you (not everyone is), and she has to be open to seeing and/or fucking someone who’s already in a committed relationship (not everyone is). And even if your dog walker is queer and into you and fucks with partnered people, ROVER, she might not fuck with clients. Or she might. While all dog walkers are dog lovers, WALK, only some dog walkers regard the job as their vocation. Most dog walkers regard the job as a side hustle, and I would imagine that some side hustling dog walkers—like some bartenders and all personal trainers—regard fucking clients as one of the perks of the job. (Health insurance? Not a benefit. Sexual opportunities? Definitely a benefit.)
As for that sweet spot between hitting on your dog walker—which could make things awkward— and playing it so cool she never realizes you wanna fuck her, ROVER, you could arrange to be home when she’s scheduled to take your dog for a walk sometime and invite her to stay for a drink after. If she turns you down cold, ROVER, that’s most likely a sign she wants to keep things professional. If she takes you up on the offer, that could be a sign she might be getting non-professional… or it could be a sign that she was thirsty and/or didn’t want to seem rude by refusing your offer. So, if she takes you up on the offer and doesn’t seem to be in a rush to go and the conversation flows, you could take the risk of making a pass at her… the second or third time she sticks around for a drink.
P.S. If and when you do make that pass, ROVER, remember that a pass is not a lunge. Use your words, acknowledge the awkwardness, and invite the no.
Got problems? Yes, you do! Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love! Or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage.love/askdan! Podcasts, columns and more at Savage.Love
Legal, Public Notices
Notice of Public Sale Notice is hereby given that the undersigned will sell, to satisfy lien of the owner, at public sale by competitive bidding on www.storagetreasures.com ending on May 15th, 2026 at 10:00 am for units located at: Compass Self Storage 2291 S. Frontage Rd, Plant City, Florida 33563 . Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the time of sale. All goods are sold as is and must be removed at the time of purchase.
Compass Self Storage reserves the right to refuse any bid. Sale is subject to adjournment. The personal goods stored therein by the following may include, but are not limited to general household, furniture, boxes, clothes and appliances, unless otherwise noted. Unit 3121 Anthony Wright Unit 3032 Ami Cooper. Run Dates 4/30/2026 and 5/7/2026.
Notice of Public Sale Notice is hereby given that the undersigned will sell, to satisfy lien of the owner, at public sale by competitive bidding on www.storagetreasures.com ending on May 15, 2026, at 10:00am for units
Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at the time of sale. All goods are sold as is and must be removed at the time of purchase.
Compass Self Storage reserves the right to refuse any bid. Sales are subject to adjournment. The personal goods stored therein by the following may include, but are not limited to general household, furniture, boxes, clothes and appliances, unless otherwise noted. Unit 2169 TINSLEY, SAPHYRE Unit 8122 COLLET, ROBERTO Unit 1189 HAMMONTREE, JONATHAN Unit 2108-2109 WOODHOUSE, RYAN Run dates 4/30/2026 and 5/7/2026.
Notice of Public Sale Notice is hereby given that the undersigned will sell, to satisfy lien of the owner, at public sale by competitive bidding on www.storagetreasures.com. ending on May 15th, 2026 at 10:00 am for units located at Compass Self Storage 1685 Hwy 17 N Eagle Lake Florida 33839 . Purchases must be made with cash only and paid at time of sale. All Goods are sold as is and must be removed at the time of purchase.
Compass Self Storage reserves the right to refuse any bid. Sale is subject to adjournment. The personal goods stored therein by the following may include, but are not limited to general household, furniture, boxes, clothes and appliances, unless otherwise noted. Unit B100 Brenda Sawyers Unit B101 Brenda Sawyers Unit D302 John Gems Unit 3166 Edgar Brito Unit 3095 Vivian Jackson Unit 3007 Andrea Starling Unit 2027 Jessica Riner. Run dates 4/30/2026 and 5/7/2026.
