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Discover Mexican Flavor, Reimagined Your
Table at Con Amor Is Waiting.
Cooking con amor—with love—is more than a tagline. It is a philosophy rooted in intention, respect, and care. At Con Amor, every detail matters, from sourcing ingredients to the final touch on the plate. Nothing is accidental; everything is purposeful.
At the center of this vision is Chef Taylor Dillon, who fell in love with Mexican cuisine while serving as the executive opening chef of Mezcali in New York City. For Dillon, cooking is both craft and conviction. He approaches ingredients with reverence and refuses to treat them as disposable. Waste is not just inefficient—it is disrespectful. Every element has value and deserves to be used to its fullest potential.
That ethos defines Con Amor’s modern approach to traditional Mexican flavors. The menu does not chase trends or dilute heritage; instead, it explores spices and chiles with care, presenting them in ways that feel fresh yet grounded. This is food that honors the past while speaking confidently in the present.
The heart of the kitchen is its masa program. Made entirely in-house, the process begins with
sourcing the corn, which is cooked, ground, and transformed daily into the foundation of many dishes. The commitment is deliberate and labor-intensive. Each bite reflects technique, tradition, and creativity—an homage to Mexico’s culinary legacy expressed through a contemporary lens. In an era of shortcuts, Con Amor chooses craftsmanship.
The experience begins before guests reach the table. Music drifts from the entrance, setting the tone. Inside, warm light fills the dining room as a welcoming team greets guests with genuine enthusiasm. The space hums with color and movement— vibrant plates in motion, cocktails catching the light, the steady rhythm of conversation. It feels lively but never chaotic, polished yet approachable.
The menu invites curiosity. Masacinis—a playful masa-based take on arancini—arrive
crisp and golden, tender at the center. Tetelas offer the comfort of grilled masa and melted cheese, while chotoyotes, soft masa dumplings, deliver a nostalgic bite that feels both rustic and refined. Mexican seafood plays a prominent role, reflecting the vibrancy of coastal cuisine with bright flavors and thoughtful preparation. Each dish is layered, visually striking, and designed to surprise without overwhelming.
Con Amor resists being defined by a single occasion.
It works as well for a celebratory Saturday night as for a spontaneous midweek dinner or a solo seat at the bar. With patio seating, indoor tables, and a sleek bar top, the space adapts to the moment. It is modern and energetic, yet comfortable enough to become a regular ritual. What distinguishes Con Amor is not only technique but intention. Every decision—from how the masa is handled to how guests are
welcomed—reflects a belief that dining should be meaningful. Mexican culinary traditions are honored, not imitated. Innovation is embraced, not forced. Meals are meant to be shared, savored, and remembered.
Cooking con amor is about harmony: between food and atmosphere, heritage and imagination, kitchen and community. It is the expression of a chef’s vision and a team’s dedication, united by respect for ingredients and for the people who gather around them.
At Con Amor, the goal is simple: to offer something exciting, something comforting, and something deeply personal. That is what cooking with love looks like—an experience shaped by care and intention from start to finish.
5240 N Florida Ave, Tampa conamorfl.com / 813-252-3868
Sunday: 4-9pm
Monday: CLOSED
Tuesday - Thursday: 3-9pm
Friday: 3-10pm
Saturday: 4-10pm
School spirit
By Dave Decker and Selene San Felice
Wharton High School students in Tampa walked out of school on Feb. 9 in solidarity with students nationwide protesting Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). The action, which took place after school hours just outside Wharton’s property, was led by Wildcat SDS (Students for a Democratic Society) with support from Tampa Immigrant Rights Committee, Party for Socialism and Liberation and Democratic Socialists of America. Florida schools are under pressure from state leaders to stop student protests. Lt. Governor Jay Collins (who is running to succeed Gov. Ron DeSantis) and Florida Education Commissioner Anastasios Kamoutsas criticized Hillsborough County School Board member Jessica Vaughn last week for saying students who protest quietly with parental permission shouldn’t be disciplined.
Read more on p. 21 and see all the pictures via cltampa.com/news.
do this
Tampa Bay's best things to do from Feb. 19-26. See more on p. 41.
Easel-y entertained
Museums are far from the only places to see art in Tampa Bay. Art Week Tampa celebrates the city’s colorful community with five days of events across Ybor City, downtown, Seminole Heights and university neighborhoods. The party started downtown on Wednesday with programs at Tampa Museum of Art and University of Tampa. The rest of the week includes an Ybor arts tour on Thursday, a full Friday of USF and Seminole Heights tours, a Saturday Ybor City walkable fiesta and a Kress Contemporary printmaking workshop on Sunday. Find details and more information at cltampa.com/arts.
Art Week Tampa: Ends Feb. 22. No cover. artweektampa.com—Selene San Felice
Get that paper
Analog is all the rage right now (we see you reading a print newspaper!), but zines are nothing new. And this weekend, St. Pete Zine Fest contributes to nearly 100 years of freaky, punk, gay-as-hell zine history. Homemade pubs started with sci-fi fans in the 1930s, hitting their stride for a couple of sweet decades from the '70s to '90s before we all got glued to screens. St. Pete Zine Fest’s third year of DIY creativity and symposiums, including around 60 local creators like The Sapphic Sun (a member of the Tampa Bay Journalism Project), No Clubs Presents and This Bookstore Kills Fascists.
St. Pete Zine Fest: Saturday, Feb. 21. 11 a.m.-3 p.m. No cover. West St. Petersburg Community Library (SPC-Gibbs), 6700 8th Ave. N, St. Petersburg. printstpete.org/spzf —Selene San Felice
19-25, 2026 | cltampabay.com
For the streets
For many people with a criminal case, getting downtown to the public defender’s office on a weekday can be prohibitive. Hillsborough’s elected public defender, Lisa McLean, is setting up a satellite office once a month to bring her services—and those of other agencies—to zip codes that need it the most. This weekend, and on third Saturdays going forward, McLean and her team will hold office hours for anyone with questions for, or business with, the public defender’s office at the University Community Resource Center in Tampa. In addition to covering criminal cases, the “PD13 Street Legal” event will host other groups to support Hillsborough residents holistically. Attendees will start in a reception area, where they will be directed to the appropriate table for whatever services they need. Since this is the first event, McLean said she’s not quite sure what services will be most in-demand, but all organizations will make their best effort to address everyone who needs help.
PD13 Street Legal: Saturday, Feb. 21. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. No cover. University Community Resource Center, 13605 N 22nd St., Tampa. @hillsboroughpublicdefender on Instagram—Valerie Smith
Strawberry bomb
The Florida Strawberry Festival once again has one hell of a concert lineup coming to the bandstand. As usual, pretty much every one of the 11 days includes multiple concerts, each carrying its own separate ticket. With a couple exceptions, concertgoers must always purchase a gate admission ($4.45$11.05, kids five and under free, with special discounts available daily) to gain access to the concert venue. Notable headliners include Joan Jett & the Blackhearts closing out the festival on March 8, Riley Green on March 1, The Offspring on March 7. While both old and new country is well-represented on the bill, pop (Lauren Daigle) and R&B (Brian McKnight with Ginuwine) are on the lineup, too. It all kicks off next week with three shows—including Alabama.
Florida Strawberry Festival: Next Thursday, Feb. 26-March 8. Florida Strawberry Festival Grounds, 303 BerryFest Place, Plant City. flstrawberryfestival.com—Ray Roa
How long have you been 17?
Armature Works invites anyone to feel like a teenager in the 2010s–lying in the grass, watching “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.” After showing “Twilight” in November and “New Moon” last month, Twihards no longer have to wonder, “Bella, where have you been, loca?” The free, outdoor movie series brings back an ultimate guilty pleasure: melodramatic, moody and impossible not to love, whether you’re laughing at it, with it or genuinely swooning a little. The movie starts at 6:30 p.m., but guests are encouraged to arrive early for food from the trucks or inside Heights Public Market and to snag a spot on the lawn. VIP reserved seating is also available and includes complimentary popcorn and early entry beginning at 6 p.m. As night falls and lawn chairs spread across the lawn, the only thing you’ll be judged on is whether you’re Team Jacob or Team Edward. “Breaking Dawn” screenings haven’t been announced. Hold on tight, spider monkey, and stay tuned to community.cltampa.com for updates.
Movie on the Lawn: ‘The Twilight Saga: Eclipse’— Wednesday, Feb. 25. 6:30 p.m. No cover. Armature Works, 1910 N Ola Ave., Tampa. armatureworks.com
—Laura Troyer
After four years of scaled-back formats, the Tampa Bay Jewish Food Festival makes its full return, with dishes that kept people coming back in the first place: matzah ball soup, corned beef and pastrami sandwiches, knishes, kugel and more. And there will be plenty of sweets like babka, rugelach, hamantaschen and black-andwhite cookies. Beyond the food, the festival doubles as a community gathering, with local vendors, Jewish organizations, a kids’ play area and a live music stage filling the synagogue grounds. Guests are encouraged to bring a canned or nonperishable item to donate to local food pantries, keeping with the spirit of giving. It’s rain or shine, cashless and free to attend.
Tampa Bay Jewish Food Festival: Sunday, Feb. 23. 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. No cover. Temple B’nai Israel, 1685 S. Belcher Rd., Clearwater. tbiclearwater.org
—Laura Troyer
Lox of fun
Help keep local journalism alive this giving season.
For 36 years, Creative Loafing Tampa Bay has amplified the voices others overlook. Now we’re launching the Tampa Bay Journalism Project to strengthen independent, local reporting on issues that matter—housing, transportation, arts, food, and accountability. Your tax-deductible support helps fund non-paywalled journalism for our community. Help support Creative Loafing Tampa during this giving season. Donating is easy, visit bit.ly/anfCLTampa
“Twenty-thousand people in five years is a ton of people.”
Drawing lines
Hillsborough officials want feedback on redistricting plans.
By Jasmin Parrado
Hillsborough County is re-drawing election maps, with changes set to go in effect by April. But first, officials want feedback on four redistricting proposals meant to address the addition of 20,000 residents in the past five years. Redistricting is the routine process of redrawing boundaries of a district and moving precincts to reflect population changes. A district is a defined area that determines which voters elect which representatives. A precinct is a subdivision within a district, often assigned a unique number and polling place to gather and manage voters.
Redistricting happens every four years and is overseen by the Hillsborough County Planning Commission—and there’s a lot to discuss.
ELECTIONS
“Most people, even people that moved here and find the area attractive, do not realize how fast-growing we are,” Yassert Gonzalez—manager of economics, demographics and research at Plan Hillsborough—told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “Twenty-thousand people in five years is a ton of people.”
District 5, for instance, used to be a majority Black district. At one point, Gonzalez told CL, African-Americans made up 80% of that district’s registered voters. Today, they only represent 47%. Tampa community leaders like NAACP Hillsborough Branch President Yvette Lewis are worried about voting power and representation. Last month she told Bay News 9, “Growth is good, but it can be harmful to the people who already live there.” Gonzalez told CL that the changes they propose are always very limited, and that while planners are sensitive to the history of a district, they make their recommendations based mainly on population.
Analysis by the Tampa Monitor updated Feb. 16 shows that there are 14,313 registered voters in the nine precincts that could be affected by proposed changes. The most that would be affected by one of the alternatives is 6,048 (alternative one, detailed below along with three other options).
Alternative one (affects 6,048 voters)
• Precinct 151 from District 6 to District 4
• Precinct 169 from District 5 to District 6
• Precinct 342 from District 7 to District 5
Alternative two (affects 2,061 voters)
• Precinct 345 from District 7 to District 5
Alternative three (affects 3,245 voters)
• Precinct 249 from District 7 to District 6
• Precinct 250 from District 7 to District 6
• Precinct 320 from District 6 to District 5
Alternative 4 (affects 5,020 voters)
• Precinct 141 from District 6 to District 4
• Precinct 207 from District 5 to District 6
• Precinct 345 from District 7 to District 5
According to census data from 2022, six of the nine districts have a majority White registered voters. Just one, Precinct 207, is majority Black. Two precincts, 342 and 345, are majority Hispanic.
By shifting precincts like the majority-Black Precinct 207 from District 5 to District 6, the
redistricting alternatives raise concerns about the region’s future of electoral representation and politics.
Gonzalez emphasized that with 95% of the city’s population untouched, redistricting likely won’t make things worse when implemented.
He added that with Tampa’s growth, keeping the districts equal is essential—and routine.
“That’s something that’s incumbent upon us, being blessed by all this growth: to monitor things, make sure that things don’t get out of whack,” Gonzalez said. “It’s very easy to lose that ‘one person, one vote’ principle when you have one district that’s really grabbing everything.”
Gonzalez is happy that 80 people have taken the commission’s redistricting alternative survey so far; he looks forward to further engagement from Tampa residents as the time to redistrict closes in. Residents can also access the survey in Spanish via Survey Monkey.
The commission’s next virtual community meeting date to discuss alternatives is Monday, Feb. 23 from noon-2 p.m. An in-person public hearing on the topic is set for Monday, March 9 at 7:30 p.m. at the Planning Commission Board Room, located at 601 E Kennedy Blvd. in downtown Tampa.
BOXED IN: Redistricting happens every four years based on population.
DAVE DECKER
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LIVE COMEDY SHOWS THIS WEEK
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 19 TH
7:00 PM: WEEKLY IMPROV DROP-IN CLASS
Our Weekly Improv Drop-In is the perfect place to give improv a try, even (and especially!) if you've never done it before. Take the plunge this Thursday!
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20 TH
7:30 PM: WILDLY SUGGESTIVE IMPROV
In this new show, a cast of Tampa Bay's finest improvisers transform a pad with your hastily-written suggestions into wondrous improv comedy.
9:00 PM: THE CROW'S NEST
Improvisers share real-life experiences of heartbreak, struggle, and triumph inspired by audience suggestions, then improvise scenes based on those stories.
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 21 ST
8:00 PM: FROM JUSTIN TO KELLY
America's best improv duo performs America's best improv show. No relation to the American Idol of the same name.
SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 22 ND
4:00 PM: CLEAN COMEDY OPEN MIC
Join host Marla Hartson for Tampa Bay's only clean comedy open mic! It's fun for the whole family.
Extra credit
Wharton High students walk out to protest ICE.
By Dave Decker and Selene San Felice
Wharton High School students in Tampa walked out of school on Feb. 9 in solidarity with students nationwide protesting Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). The action, which took place after school hours just outside Wharton’s property, was led by Wildcat SDS (Students for a Democratic Society) with support from Tampa Immigrant Rights Committee, Party for Socialism and Liberation and Democratic Socialists of America.
Florida schools are under pressure from state leaders to stop student protests. Lt. Governor Jay Collins (who is running to succeed Gov. Ron DeSantis) and Florida Education Commissioner Anastasios Kamoutsas criticized Hillsborough County School Board member Jessica Vaughn last week for saying students who protest quietly with parental permission shouldn’t be disciplined.
Hillsborough County Public Schools does not approve or promote protests during instructional time. While we want to ensure students retain constitutional rights for free expression, we also must make sure any such activity does not interrupt instructional time, school operations, or campus safety. Any violations are reviewed and addressed in accordance with our Student Code of Conduct. When appropriate, disciplinary actions are taken following established policies and procedures.
Parents also showed up to support their Wharton students last Monday. Rose Glazner of Wesley Chapel said her children, both Wharton students, feel strongly about speaking out against ICE’s tactics and policies.
IMMIGRATION
“I’m so proud to be a parent of kids who care so much about other people and who care so much about what’s going on in CL Creative Loafing Tampa Bay. “I could not be any prouder.”
Days earlier, Kamoutsas warned teachers and administrators across the state not to encourage or allow student protests during the school day.
Wharton student Talia Moody told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that she had a protest poster confiscated during lunch, despite being told students could have protest signs in the cafeteria.
“The teacher took my poster away, but that’s when they said we could do it. It was me and like three of my other friends, and that’s why we are out here now instead,” Moody told CL. Hillsborough County Public Schools spokesperson Debra Bellanti told CL she was unaware of protest signs being taken or any signs at Wharton. She sent the following statement:
Glazner said her family doesn’t know anybody personally who has been detained, but added that they are “terrified.”
“These are real people,” Glazner said. “I’m just horrified that this group is being targeted because you know immigrants are less than half as likely to commit a crime as someone who is a resident, and they contribute to our economy, our culture. I feel like we are more fulfilled as people to have all people.”
A 2024 study from the National Institute of Justice found that undocumented immigrants are arrested at less than half the rate of native U.S. citizens for violent and drug crimes.
See more photos on pp. 8-9 and at cltampa. com/news.
MELT WITH YOU: Wharton students share thoughts on this human race.
HAPPY HOUR AT AMSO
Monday - Friday, 4pm-7pm
Saturday 3pm-6pm
$4, $5 & $6 Liquor, Beer & Wine
$8 Hand-Cra ed Cocktails
HAPPY HOUR SPECIALS
BITES
SHRIMP SKEWER $9
three shrimp, grilled, salsa borracha
CHIPS AND SALSA | $5
a trio of our tomatillo, pineapple, and house salsas, served with corn tortilla chips
CHIPS AND QUESO | $ 5
chipotle cheese dip, served with corn tortilla chips
Amares Verde mezcal, hibiscus, orange, lime, tajin rim
DRAFT BEER | $7
Feta believe it
Luma opens in St. Pete’s SkyBeach Resort.
By Laura Troyer
The January opening of Luma (stylized in all caps) marked the south St. Petersburg hotel’s third culinary concept since its 2024 relaunch. Alongside SkyBar + Grille and Paradeco Coffee Roasters, the restaurant occupies a waterfront space designed to serve resort guests, visitors and locals alike.
Luma’s menu centers on shareable Mediterranean fare with Gulf Coast influences. Offerings include house-made breads and spreads as part of a mezze program, Florida Gulf ceviche, gambas al ajillo, watermelon and feta, whole roasted fish and fire-grilled skewers, positioning the restaurant for both casual and full-service dining.
night DJ in the lounge and offers dock-and-dine access through the SkyBeach Marina.
Luma is open 5 p.m.-10 p.m. Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday; 5 p.m.- 11 p.m. Friday-Saturday and closed Monday-Tuesday.
Homesick joins Tampa’s bagel boom
Tampa Bay may boil over with bagel spots following the opening of Homesick Bagels in North Hyde Park.
OPENINGS & CLOSINGS
Luma at SkyBeach Resort
6800 Sunshine Skyway Lane S., St. Petersburg. lumastpete.com
The kitchen is led by Executive Chef Ryan VanDusen, whose experience includes leadership roles at Soho House Chicago and the Don CeSar.
The drink menu includes cocktails with Mediterranean herbs, citrus and spices. The restaurant also introduced a weekly Friday
The new shop and café moved in at 1528 W North B St.—next door to its sister spot, Giancarlo’s Cafe & Spirits. Both are owned by Travis Kaiser, a UTampa grad who started his Tampa food empire with Santoro’s Pizza.
Homesick’s arrival adds to a wave of new bagel spots across Tampa Bay, including PopUp Bagels, a Connecticut-based chain focused on no-frills bagels and schmears; H&H, the longtime Manhattan institution that debuted its first Tampa location last fall; and Pete’s Bagels,
a Tampa Bay classic that opened its fifth location earlier this month.
What sets Homesick apart from its northeastern neighbors is the shop’s focus on New Jersey-style bagels, paired with a menu of hearty breakfast sandwiches.
The shop’s standout menu items include its French toast bagel and a “3 Lil Pigs” breakfast sandwich, stacked with lettuce, tomato, bacon, ham, pork roll and a hashbrown on a bagel of choice.
Homesick Bagels is open daily from 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. Find updates and information at homesickbagels.com and @homesickbagels on Instagram.
Whataburger opens in Largo
The Whataburger hype is finally back. The Texas-born burger chain made its return to Tampa Bay last Thursday, Feb. 12, in Largo. The new location at 10150 Ulmerton Rd. (in the former Joella’s Hot Chicken) opened its doors at 11 a.m. and keeps them open 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
The Largo restaurant was announced in June, along with several other Tampa Bay locations. Eight spots are planned to open across Bay area by the end of 2027, with additional restaurants already slated for Brandon and Lutz in spring 2026. The brand now operates 48 locations statewide.
Opening festivities include a monthlong promotion offering a free Kids Meal with the purchase of any Whatameal through March 12.
Pinellas Farmers & Flea Market moves
In true Tampa Bay fashion, a former dog track has found its second life as a farmers’ and flea market.
The Pinellas Farmers & Flea Market is now a weekend fixture at Win! Derby, formerly known as Derby Lane, at 10490 Gandy Blvd. in St. Petersburg. The market takes place every Saturday and Sunday from 7 a.m.-1 p.m., with free admission and free parking.
Launched in late-2021 by organizer Shawn Yang at a Largo site, the market relocated after Pinellas County purchased the original property for a new government campus, according to St. Pete Rising. It found a permanent home at the 130-acre Win! Derby site last fall and has been hosting weekly markets there ever since, as the property moves forward under new ownership.
Shoppers can browse a mix of over 200 vendors that offer seasonal produce like Sweetheart Lychee and fresh durian, as well as hand-crafted household products and antiques ranging from polished silver to Pokémon cards. The food court highlights cuisines ranging from Hmong and Vietnamese pho to BBQ, Mexican and Filipino fare.
Find updates and more info at pinellasmarket.com.
PITA PARTY: Luma is now open at SkyBeach Resort in St. Pete.
MOVIES THEATER ART CULTURE
Run to win
Meb Keflezighi helps Plant High runners redefine success.
By Ray Roa
Meb Keflezighi’s biggest moments are mustsee TV. He was just 29 years old at the 2004 Olympics in Athens, running high on endorphins, as he smiled towards the finish line en route to earning a silver medal with a time of 2:11:29. Less than two weeks removed from a German Shepard attack, and running his fourth marathon ever, Keflezighi has described being “completely satisfied” with second place, citing how rare it is to get a chance to compete in the games and have all your training come together at the same time.
In 2009—two years after breaking his hip in Central Park and watching his friend and training partner Ryan Shay die of a heart attack on the course—he won the New York City Marathon wearing a blue and white U.S.A. singlet, breaking the tape a full 41 seconds ahead of the closest competitor. The finish left commentators and spectators in awe at the American with his thumbs up conquering the elusive distance.
alongside coach Katie Nelson, Keflezighi told Creative Loafing Tampa Bay that the wins take him back to seventh grade—when he ran a 5:20 mile after being challenged by a P.E. teacher— and that Boston 2014 was the defining moment of his storied career.
A racer in every sense of the word, it’s not hyperbolic to say he is the greatest living American distance runner. But winning has never meant finishing first for Keflezighi.
“The hardest part of running is getting out the door,” he told CL as he pointed to Fred Ball Park where the boys and girls start their Bayshore runs. “The hardest part is getting here.”
SPORTS
Gasparilla Distance Classic
He talked about a time in Riverview 20 years ago, when he greeted a walker. That woman bumped into him 12 years later and reminded him of the meeting.
In 2012—nursing a foot injury related to another NYC Marathon and competing with less than six weeks of proper training—the then-36year-old ran a personal best (2:09:08) to upset his Mammoth Lakes training partner Ryan Hall. In the final stretch of that race in Houston, he grabbed an American flag from a spectator and waved it proudly.
“She goes, ‘You said hello and gave me a thumbs up. Did you know that was my first day back from heart surgery,?’” he explained. “You never know what people are going through—and we can never walk in their shoes, but we can have a little bit of understanding.”
And the pressure of coaching a program with 12 state championships in girls cross country alone?
“The hardest part of running is getting out the door.”
Perhaps his greatest finish arrived in 2014, just two weeks shy of his 39th birthday, when he became the first American man in 31 years to win the Boston Marathon. Crossing the finish line with a time of 2:08:37—wearing the names of three people killed when a bomb disrupted the country’s most iconic road race a year earlier—Keflezighi bet on himself, took an early lead and rarely looked back at a charging Kenyan, Wilson Chebet, who finished just 11 seconds back. Having saved something for the end of the race, Keflezighi pumped his fists as he crossed the line before breaking into tears.
Last month in Tampa, where he now coaches track and cross country for Plant High School
“It’s there,” he said. “But at the end of the day it’s all about the kids—I want to help them be their best, run personal bests, improve and eventually love to run.”
It’s a winning attitude, and commitment to consistency, that’s clearly caught on.
Success, Igor Gordiano, a sophomore, told CL after practice, means “improving your own time.”
It’s “getting better every day, little by little,” added Fischer Speer, a sophomore.
Ryan Pavliga, a junior, said that training with his coaches has made him a runner for life, whether he does it competitively in college or not.
“Running is always, I think, the hardest part of the day, and nothing is going to compare to that run of the day. If you can show up to practice at 6 a.m. and go run four or five miles, or go run
a quick track workout, you can do anything,” he added. “The mindset and the mental fortitude that it provides is something that I don’t think any other activity can accomplish.”
Ethan Gear was obsessed with another passion, robotics, when he got to Plant but found himself growing frustrated after spending so much time with the machines. So he’s taken to running to help his mind break free. “I see it as kind of like the last frontier, to try and figure that out,” the sophomore added.
The sport certainly helped their worldfamous coach, who was one of 11 kids who grew up in war-torn Eritrea. Wanted by the military, dad immigrated to the U.S. by way of Italy— but was separated from his family for six years before they settled in San Diego.
Running, Keflezighi told CL, helped him assimilate into American culture, and come out of his shell to embrace the opportunities his parents didn’t have. Despite some sports writers not realizing that he is a product of the U.S. running system, the sport is again helping ground Keflezighi as the American experience evolves around him.
Keflezighi became a citizen on July 2, 1998— the day he graduated from UCLA where he won
four NCAA championships. On the afternoon he spoke to CL, ICE was still on the ground in Minneapolis, two weeks after the death of Renée Good, and a day before the killing of Alex Pretti. Because the mayor is a runner, Keflezighi knows Minneapolis’ Jacob Frey, who was forced to stand up as federal agents terrorized that city. Not a lot of people ask him about it, but Keflezighi—not outspoken by any means—told CL that it broke his heart to see what unfolded up north because it’s not the America he knows. “What I experienced was that people always embraced me,” he said, adding that even when you’re competing against someone, you must still respect them.
Sport, Keflezighi noted, teaches that. It also teaches us that while there are no shortcuts in life, if we put in hard work, we can get results. “It might not be this week or might not be next month, but eventually it will pay off,” he added.
And while there’s no perfect country in the world, the U.S., for many years, provided opportunities and a welcome to many. “It’s sad to see that it’s not as prominent as it used to be,” he said before offering some optimism.
“But running—it unifies.”
LET THERE BE LIGHT: Meb’s full name is Mebrahtom.
Friday, March 6 & Saturday, March 7th th
Dignified defiance: Black History Month in Tampa Bay
Black history should be celebrated year round, and while we’re currently in season, one of the Bay area’s largest celebrations of the culture is set for April.
With a finale festival situated on the HIllsborough River, Tampa Bay Black Heritage Festival already hosted a leadership luncheon and 5K, and has plans for its own “Unity Met Gala” in March before the big two-day music festival happening April 25-26.
Get more information on all of it via tampablackheritage.org and see a running list of Black History Month events below.
NAREB Tampa Black History Month
Mixer Thursday, Feb. 19. 6 p.m. No cover, registration required. Tampa Club, Tampa. narebtampa.org
Celebrating 100 years of Black history month Saturday, Feb. 21. 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Bing Rooming House, Plant City. plantcitymlkfestival.com
Black history celebration Saturday, Feb. 21. 5 p.m. No cover. Center for Manifestation, Tampa. 813-516-2376 Hidden, Historic Campbell Park walking tour Saturday, Feb. 21. 10 a.m.-noon. RSVP requested. Campbell Park, St. Petersburg. blackhistorybiketour.com
Tampa DJ Hall of Fame: Black History Program Saturday, Feb. 21. Noon-3 p.m. No cover. C. Blythe Andrews Jr. Public Library, Tampa. @halloffametampa on Facebook
Black Love classic movie series: ‘Carmen Jones’ Sunday, Feb. 22. 3 p.m.
$9-$14. Historic Duncan Auditorium at Tampa Theater, Tampa. tampatheatre.org
Black history book club: ‘The Message’ by Ta-Nehisi Coates
Monday, Feb. 23. 5:30 p.m. No cover. Tampa’s Black History Museum, Tampa. tampabayhistorycenter.org
Fifth Annual Black History Month
Reception Friday, Feb. 27. 5 p.m. $50. Tampa’s Black History Museum, Tampa. tampabayhistorycenter.org
Black history month celebration
Saturday, Feb. 28. 11 a.m.-2 p.m. No cover. Lake Vista Park, St. Petersburg. stpeteparksrec.org
Fish, grits & Black history Sunday, Feb. 28. 8 a.m. $75 donation. The Dr. Walter L. Smith Library & Museum, Tampa. wlsmithlibrary.org
Historic civil rights trolley tour
Sunday, Feb. 28. 9 a.m.-11 a.m. $45. St. Petersburg Museum of History, St. Petersburg. historystpete.org
‘Triumph’ (stylized all-caps) screenings Monday, Feb. 23. 6 p.m. No cover, but registration requested. Student Center at University of South Florida, St. Petersburg. wedu.org/triumph
Food From The Soul Festival Saturday, March 28. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. $$25 & up. Carrollwood Cultural Center, Tampa, foodfromthesoulfestival.com—Ray Roa
WHERE TAMPA COMES TO
Chalk it up
Bucs unveil giant 3D mural for Black History Month.
By Avery Anderson & Adam Bounds/Tampa Bay Arts Passport
In Tampa, we build pirate ships inside football stadiums.
So commissioning a giant, hyper-detailed chalk mural for Black History Month at Tampa Bay Buccaneers headquarters? Honestly. On brand.
But what makes this one interesting isn’t just that it exists. It’s who made it — and how intentionally she approached it.
When Laura Thomas got the call, it wasn’t vague. The organization wanted something that honored Black History Month, incorporated football, and reflected the Tampa Bay community.
No pressure. Just identity, history, civic pride — and maybe don’t smudge it.
“It’s for Black History Month, but I wanted it to be something that would help… kind of make everybody proud,”
Thomas said. “You know, everyone can enjoy it. Appreciate it.”
Thomas said. “I always want to do my best with it, and always knowing that when it’s done, it’ll eventually be gone.”
There’s something very Tampa about that too. This is a city constantly reinventing itself. Buildings come down. Murals rotate. Neighborhoods shift. We memorialize in public—and then we build over it.
Thomas knows the clock is built into her medium.
“I hope they will forever be in awe of it, and obviously take many photos so they can look back and enjoy it,” she said. “And I hope it’s something that they feel proud that they had here, and had created and had done.”
That phrasing stands out: had created and had done. Not just “displayed.” Not just “posted.” Created. Done.
LOCAL ARTS
That line feels particularly Tampa. This is a city that contains multigenerational Black neighborhoods, shiny new condos, die-hard Bucs fans, and people who still argue about which Cuban sandwich is correct. If you’re going to make a piece that lives at One Buccaneer Place, it has to speak to more than one audience.
Thomas understood that assignment.
“The organization reached out to me, wanting to do this for Black History Month,” she said. “And I was very excited and honored that they asked me to do it.”
Excited. Honored.
Also: strategic.
Sports franchises are some of the most powerful cultural brands in the city. When they choose to commission a local artist to interpret Black history on their own property — not tucked into a social media tile, not relegated to a halftime announcement — that’s a decision about visibility.
It says this story belongs here.
At a training facility where million-dollar contracts are negotiated and Sunday lineups are built, chalk dust might feel small. But culture rarely changes because of one massive gesture. It shifts through visible, repeated choices.
“I always want to have the most meaning or impact for whatever the event or theme is.”
She didn’t just sketch one idea and hope for the best. She created multiple designs and submitted them. The team chose their final draft pick.
“I’m super glad that they did,” she said. “And I think it’s a fun piece and people are going to really enjoy it.”
Fun is doing a lot of work here. Because let’s be real: conversations about race in America are rarely described as “fun.” But Tampa’s cultural language has always leaned toward spectacle— Gasparilla beads, boat parades, cannon blasts, oversized pirate flags. If you’re going to make an impact in this town, subtle isn’t always the move.
Chalk art is inherently theatrical. It demands attention. It creates illusion. It makes people stop mid-scroll and mid-stride. And it disappears.
“I always want to have the most meaning or impact for whatever the event or theme is,”
And in a city that loves its cannons loud and its visuals bold, sometimes the most radical thing is simple: make something beautiful. Put it in the open. Let people stand in front of it.
Take the photo.
Let it fade.
And remember that it was here.
This post first appeared at TB Arts Passport, which is part of the Tampa Bay Journalism Project (TBJP), a nascent Creative Loafing Tampa Bay effort supported by grants and a coalition of donors who make specific contributions via the Alternative Newsweekly Foundation. If you are a non-paywalled Bay area publication interested in TBJP, please email rroa@ctampa. com. Support TB Arts Passport by subscribing to its free newsletter or becoming a paying Arts Passport Member. Other TBJP publications include WMNF News, Tampa Monitor, Sapphic Sun, San Pedro Gazette, The Gabber, Cigar City Sounds, and more.
MIND’S EYE: Take a picture of the new Bucs mural before it disappears.
AFTER HOURS (21+) IN CARAVAGGIO’S LIGHT
FRIDAY, MARCH 13 | 7:00-10:00 PM
Get Early-Bird general admission through February 28. Tickets available at mfastpete.org
Valentin de Boulogne, known as Le Valentin, Denial of St. Peter (detail), c. 1620, Oil on canvas, Fondazione di Studi di Storia dell’Arte Roberto Longhi, Florence, Italy
Out and about: Events happening in Tampa Bay
The events listed in our Do This section on pp. 12-13 aren’t the only things to do in town this weekend. Have a look at more events— like the New York Yankees v. Detroit Tigers Spring training match—going down the week of Feb. 19-25 and beyond. Don’t forget to check page 37 for Black History Month activities. See more events and list your own at community.cltampa.com —Selene San Felice
ARTS
SPC Japanese Festival Thursday, Feb. 19, 1 p.m.-4 p.m. $10 suggested donation. Leepa-Rattner Museum of Art, Tarpon Springs. leeparattner.org
Poetry in the Galleries: Slam Anderson responds to Samantha Modder’s “May Your Life Be Easy” Thursday, Feb. 19. 6 p.m.-7 p.m. No cover. Gallery114@HC Ybor, Ybor City. hcfl.edu
Remix: Life & Death in the Ancient World Thursday, Feb. 19. 6 p.m.-9 p.m. $55. Tampa Museum of Art, Tampa. tampamuseum.org
Hunt Slonem Opening Feb. 19. 6 p.m.-9 p.m. Feb. 20 6 p.m.-9 p.m. (artist talk & book talk). No cover. Drew Marc Gallery, Tampa. drewmarcgallery.com
Now On View 3 Public Art Festival Saturday, Feb. 21. 11 a.m.-3 p.m. No cover. HCC Ybor Performing Arts Building, Ybor City. hcfl.edu
Jennifer Schumacher Waller: ‘In Between’ Runs through April 4. No cover. Morean Center for Clay, St. Petersburg. jenniferwallerart.com
Impressions: 35 years of Women in Print at USF Graphicstudio MondayFriday through March 2. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. No cover. Graphicstudio at University of South Florida, Tampa. ira.usf.edu
Brian Maguire: La Grande Illusion Monday-Saturday through March 7. No cover. USF Contemporary Art Museum at University of South Florida, Tampa. ira.usf.edu
Selina Román: Abstract Corpulence Through March 29. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. $0-$20. Sarasota Art Museum, Sarasota. sarasotaartmuseum.org
Jun Kaneko: Silence Before Sound Through Aug. 23. $5 & up. Tampa Museum of Art, Tampa. tampamuseum.org Ceramics Continued Study Sunday, March 1 and select Sundays through April 19. 10 a.m.-1 p.m. $45. Tampa Museum of Art, 120 W Gasparilla Plaza, Tampa. tampamuseum.org
COMEDY
Joe Dombrowski Thursday-Saturday, Feb. 19-21. 6:30 p.m. and 8:45 p.m. (only 6:30 p.m. on Thursday). $33.80 - $43.80. Side Splitters Comedy Club, Tampa. sidesplitterscomedy. com
Katherine Blanford Friday, Feb. 20, 7 p.m.8:30 and 9:45 p.m.-11:15 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 21, 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m. and 9:15 p.m.-10:45 p.m. $20. Funny Bone Comedy Club, Tampa. tampa.funnybone.com
Dirty John’s Dirty Disco ThursdaySaturdays. 8 p.m. The Studio@620, St. Petersburg. thestudioat620.org
Tampa Metropolitan Improv Third Fridays through May 29. 7 p.m. $5. Carrollwood Cultural Center, Tampa. carrollwoodcenter.org
FOOD & DRINK
Mardi Gras on Corey Avenue Tuesday, Feb. 17. 6:30 p.m. No cover. Corey Avenue, St. Pete Beach. coreyave.com
Hidden, Historic Campbell Park Saturday-Monday, Feb. 21-23. 10 a.m.-12 p.m. $0-$15. Campbell Park, St. Petersburg. blackhistorybiketour.com
Ultimate iPhone Photography Crash Course with Michelle Cornejo Saturday, Feb. 21. 2 p.m.-4 p.m. $80. Morean Arts Center, St. Petersburg. moreanartscenter.org
Run For Something Saturday, Feb 21. 3:30 p.m.-5 p.m. Unitarian Universalists of Clearwater. @indivisiblenorthpinellas on Instagram
MARKETS
Lunar New Year Day 5: Asian Night Market Friday, Feb. 20. 6 p.m.-11 p.m. No cover. Armature Works, Tampa. armatureworks.com Carrollwood Park Conservancy Plant Sale Saturday, Feb. 21. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. No cover. Carrollwood Village Park, Tampa. carrollwoodvillage.com
SPORTS
USF Men’s Basketball vs. Memphis Thursday, Feb. 19, 7 p.m. $18 & up. Yuengling Center, Tampa. gousfbulls.com
New York Yankees v. Detroit Tigers Saturday, Feb. 21 and Sunday, March 15. 1:05 p.m. $50 & up. George Steinbrenner Field, Tampa. mlb.com
USF Women’s Basketball vs. FAU Saturday, Feb. 21. 7 p.m. $15 & up. Yuengling Center, Tampa
Cupid’s Undie Run Saturday, Feb. 21. noon-4 p.m. $40. Golden Isles Brewing Co., St. Petersburg. cupids.org
Tampa Bay Sun v. Fort Lauderdale
United FC Saturday, Feb. 21. 7:30 p.m. $23 & up. Suncoast Credit Union Field, 1701 N Blvd., Tampa. tampabaysunfc.com
Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Toronto Maple Leafs Wednesday, Feb. 25. 7:30 PM. $85.90 & up. Benchmark International Arena, Tampa
Monster Jam Saturday & Sunday, Feb. 28 & March 1. 7 p.m. Saturday; 3 p.m. Sunday. $29.60 & up. Raymond James Stadium, Tampa. monsterjam.com
Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Buffalo Sabres Saturday, Feb. 28. 7 p.m. $122.05 & up. Benchmark International Arena, Tampa. nhl.com
TRAVEL & LEISURE
Cigar City Tattoo Fest Friday-Sunday, Feb. 20-22. $25-$60. The Cuban Club, Ybor City. cigarcitytattoofest.com Sunset on the Serengeti Friday-Sunday, Feb. 20-21 and select dates through March 8. 5:30-8 p.m. $90 & up. Busch Gardens Tampa Bay, 10165 McKinley Dr, Tampa. buschgardens.com
Wildflower Walk Saturday, Feb 28. 1-2:30 p.m. $5. Boyd Hill Nature Preserve Visitor Center, St. Petersburg. stpeteparksrec.org
Interested in advertising around this listing? Contact jhoward@cltampa.com.
Friday, February 20 - 21, 2026
Doors at 5:45 PM, Show at 7:00 PM
Katherine Blanford @ Funny Bone Comedy Club Restaurant 1600 E 8th Ave C-112
Tickets from $20.00 bit.ly/KatherineBlanford
Saturday, February 21, 2026 • 8:00 PM - 9:30 PM
Muertas de la Risa en Tampa
@ Centro Asturiano de Tampa 1913 North Nebraska Ave
Tickets from $53.61 bit.ly/MuertasdelaRisa
Saturday, February 21, 2026 • 10:00 PM - 3:00 AM
JSTJR • Techno Playground II @ The Ritz Ybor 1503 E. 7th Ave
Tickets from $20.77 bit.ly/jstjr0221
Sunday, February 22, 2026 • 11:00 AM
Chicken Yoga with Yoga Loft @ Hotel Haya 1412 East 7th Ave
Tickets - $59.34
bit.ly/ChickenYogaFeb
Sunday, February 22, 2026 • 5:00 PM - 7:00 PM
Elevated Wine Society - Sparkling Wine & Girl Scout Cookies @ Ybor City Society Wine Bar 1600 East 7th Ave
Free Admission
bit.ly/WineGirlScoutCookies
Sunday, February 22, 2026 • 10:00 AM
Coffee Roasting & Cupping 101 @ Retro House Coffee Bar & Asian Bistro 934 East Henderson Ave
Tickets - $65.08 bit.ly/CoffeeCupping101
Sunday, February 22, 2026 • 9:00 AM - 10:00 AM
Film 101 @ Florida Museum of Photographic Arts 1630 East 7th Ave
Tickets - $33.85 /bit.ly/Film101Ybor
Wednesday, February 25, 2026 • 7:00 PM
Nep w/ briZB @ Crowbar 1812 N 17th St
Tickets - $21.82 nep26.eventbrite.com
Saturday, February 28, 2026 • 3:00 PM - 10:00 PM
Blaze N Brunch: Blazed IQ Edition @ 1920 Ybor 1920 East 7th Ave
Tickets start at $42.13 bit.ly/BlazeNBrunch
Monday March 2, 2026 • 7:00 PM
The Deslondes w/ Sabine McCalla @ Crowbar 1812 N 17th St
Tickets - $24.06 deslondes26.eventbrite.com
El
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La Union • bit.ly/LaUnionYbor
Community, connection, and culture come together at La Unión Apartments, where Tampa’s rich history and vibrant future unite. Inspired by the historic social hall once on this site, our Ybor City apartments honor that legacy by fostering bonds among residents, the neighborhood, and the area’s deep-rooted heritage.
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Step into the pulse of Tampa’s most vibrant neighborhood at Miles at Ybor, where modern luxury apartments in Tampa blend seamlessly with the rich cultural tapestry of historic Ybor City. These aren’t just furnished apartments in Ybor City – they’re your gateway to an elevated urban lifestyle that celebrates both heritage and innovation.
Tempus Projects
1624 E 7th Ave, 2nd Floor, Ybor City
Dedicated to nurturing established and emerging local, national, and international artists through exhibitions, collaborations, residencies, and events. tempus-projects.com
Zoom Room Dog Training
2409 E 2nd Ave Suite 1
Providing exceptional dog training classes using only positive reinforcement. zoomroom.com/location/south-tampa-ybor
TECO Line Streetcar System
Operates every 15 minutes (every 12 minutes during peak hours; Friday 1 PM to 9 PM, Saturday 1:00 PM to 10 PM, and Sunday 12 PM to 8 PM.) tecolinestreetcar.org
REVIEWS PROFILES MUSIC WEEK
Glitter in my eyes
In three days, Ladies Rock Camp taught me three important lessons.
By Selene San Felice/Photos by Ryan Kern
Aknot of dread and anxiety twisted in the pit of my stomach last Thursday as I sat around with a group of 26 strange women, making small talk and taking polite bites of tikka masala. By Sunday night, we’d all formed rock bands and fallen in love.
We are the third St. Pete Ladies Rock cohort, a group of five bands born over three days on the campus of Allendale United Methodist Church. Most of us joined after hearing about Girls Rock St. Pete, where campers aged 8-17 get a whole “power week” to form a band, write and perform an original song. Between bonding exercises, instrument lessons and band practice, campers learn about activism and intersectional feminism.
feminist Riot Grrrl movement of the ‘90s. The motto “girls to the front” assured us we didn’t have to earn or achieve anything to take up space.
LOCAL MUSIC
I should note here that Girls Rock is a nonprofit, and camp tuition is $500-$700. Since I came in to write a story, I did not pay. But I thought about this number a lot, especially as I died a little inside doing silly dance moves and making up handshakes for ice breaker after ice breaker. I wondered how the hell this would translate to being able to play a show. And then
“I wish I had that as a kid,” is the echoed sentiment. But so many women, trans and nonbinary people (included in Girls and Ladies Rock) could use it right now.
Here’s what I learned going from a journalist to a keyboard player in a blues-rock band called Maiden Mother Crone.
Anyone can rock. No, really Sex-ed prepares us for the agony of puberty. Female-bodied people know that someday, menopause will come with hot flashes and other vague, unspoken horrors. Then there’s this third thing in the middle, around 30.
I didn’t have kids, but my body still changed. I look at pictures of the loud, hot, confident person I was in my 20s, and I don’t remember when I stopped feeling like that person. Somewhere between getting laid off and a barrage of GLP-1 ads, I stopped being loud or feeling hot.
My fellow campers, ages 26-64, are nurses, teachers, veterans, government workers, civil servants and estate lawyers. They’ve survived cancer, trauma and abuse and live with disabilities and chronic illness. They’re gay, nonbinary, Black, Latina, Palestinian, and yes, very white. And even the ones who are roller derby skaters, ultramarathoners and semi-pro tackle football players admitted to feeling beaten down in the same way I did.
Girls Rock St. Pete founder Rachael Sibilia, executive director Jesse Miller and their team of volunteers based the program on the punk,
“We are reclaiming, celebrating and bringing back into the light what belongs to women, especially Black women.”
Beatles to Coldplay. Women are seen as the rare exception to the rule. But we started it all.
Girls Rock and Ladies Rock pay tribute to Sister Rosetta Tharpe, a Black guitarist from Arkansas who, in the ‘30s and ‘40s—along with a few other women like her lover Marie Knight—turned gospel music into blues and R&B. Tharpe’s use of finger picking and distortion created the modern rock n’ roll sound that men like Elvis, with his cover of Big Mama Thornton’s “Hound Dog,” co-opted.
Tharpe also pioneered the tour bus. The symbol of glamor and exclusivity for today’s bands was a necessity for Tharpe, who wasn’t allowed to stay in the same hotels as her white crews and promoters while touring the Jim Crow South. And to perform on TV, she’d often have to promote skin whitening creams and laxative chewing gum.
During Ladies Rock and Girls Rock camps,
women who said they felt invisible once their hair went grey were headbanging on guitar and slapping bass like nobody’s business.
Rock is herstory
The words “rock and roll” are practically synonymous with “penis.”
Google’s search result for “rock bands” is an extensive list of all-male bands, from The
an altar to Tharpe sits at the base of the stage at Allendale. Candles flicker around a framed illustration of Tharpe playing her signature Gibson SG guitar, with angel wings on her white fur coat. The altar moves to Bayboro Brewing for concert night.
Miller taught campers about Tharpe in a “Herstory of Rock” lesson, noting that Bob Dylan and Johnny Cash paid tribute to her.
“All these musicians started making music based off her sound,” Miller said.
“We are reclaiming, celebrating and bringing back into the light what belongs to women, especially Black women.”
Mistakes can make you happy
I had a breakdown on Saturday. I came out of my first keys lesson feeling confident that I’d remembered enough from my childhood piano lessons to play well. But in our first band practice, I got lost in the noise of guitar, drums and bass all playing at once.
I felt like the only one who didn’t know when to come in and kept messing up chords. I told myself I didn’t have to play with two hands, but kept trying to make myself do it anyway. I felt confident again in the next keys practice, then bombed trying to play simple chords in front of my classmates. Their applause and praise felt like sympathy.
Miller caught me trying not to cry at lunch and pulled me into the courtyard.
“You could play one note with one finger, or not play at all, and that would be an accomplishment,” she assured me. “You’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself. I don’t want you to be miserable.”
The tears came.
“I know I’m not supposed to care what people think, but I do,” I cried. “And I can’t stop.”
“My priority is that you have fun here, no matter what,” Miller said.
“I don’t care about anything else.”
So I stopped caring about anything else, too. At the next practice, I learned all my bandmates felt the same way I did. We didn’t have a full song written, we didn’t know our parts and none of us could nail the little we did know. Our singer was frantically writing lyrics outside.
But soon, we had a badass song with lyrics based on a Maya Angelou poem. I turned up the volume on my keys, and when I missed parts or messed up, I smiled and kept going. A few hours later, we were nailing it. And we nailed it the following night at a nearly soldout Bayboro.
After our performance, I hugged my friends and pulled them back into the crowd. “They’re so good!” found myself saying when each band went onstage. “That’s my friend!” I screamed, pointing at a woman I’d met 72 hours ago. “She’s so good!”
I don’t know if I’ll perform again. But from now on, when I think of rock n’ roll, I think of us.
I’M WITH THE BAND: Selene performs with Maiden Mother Crone.
music bringwomen, came out that I’d piano pracdrums and when told hands, but I felt then front of praise felt lunch finger, accomputting a you to peostop.” here, no else, too. bandhave a parts and Our outside. lyrturned missed going. And we soldfriends “They’re band screamed, “She’s from think of
By Ray Roa C CL Recommends
FRI 20
Marc Rebillet w/Capyac Marc Rebillet was viral before AI-inspired content creators ruined the internet. The 36-year-old loop daddy brought his manic brand of dancetronica to Ybor City in 2018 by taking over the patio at Carmine’s (seriously), and then moved the madness across the street to Orpheum just a few months later. The Dallas-based artist is back in the district in a few months, and again sizing up in venues. Famous for his one man show, the bespectacled Rebillet is famous not just for his improvisation onstage, but also for Jim Carrey-levels of facial distortion and energy that’s landed him on the biggest festival stages. And while haters may write off the schtick, Rebillet’s worked with a host of well-respected talent including Erykah Badu and Reggie Watts. 7 p.m. $55.80. The Ritz, Ybor City
C Mountain Holler & Infinite Third w/Wyatt Norton Two longtime St. Pete musicians come home and play together for one-night only. Billy Mays III—son of the pitchman and a purveyor of ambient, looped guitar—collides with the cosmic-folk of siren-voiced songwriter Mark Etherington (aka Mountain Holler). The venue invites guests to bring blankets, pillows, yoga mats and even camping chairs so they can settle in after an opening set by Wyatt Norton. 7 p.m. $15-$20. Suite E Studios, St. Petersburg
SAT 21
C Americans For Immigrant Justice benefit: Headless State w/Last Bias/ The Outbreed/Big Sad Big Sad’s “Black Umbrellas” is one of the hardest protest songs to come out of the Bay area. On it, frontman Dave Decker (in full disclosure, also Creative Loafing Tampa Bay’s senior photojournalist) sings about Portland activists and “Feds flanked to the right like it’s World War 3.” The punk band opens a bill where it joins crustpunk outfit Headless State, post-hardcore quartet Last Bias, and The Outbreed to raise money for Americans For Immigrant Justice, a Miami-based nonprofit that provides “direct representation, impact litigation, advocacy and outreach” for some of the country’s most vulnerable people. 9 p.m. $10 suggested donation. American Legion Seminole Post 111, Tampa
C Cory Branan Sorry to all the Tim Barrys, Chuck Ragans, and even Frank Turners out there, but Cory Branan is the hottest altcountry punk-Americana guy floating around out there. After a short-ish set opening for Barry and Ragan last month, the 51-year-old is back in town and headlining New World three years after his latest album, When I Go I Ghost . Revered among his peers—he’s collaborated with Lydia Loveless, Jason Isbell,
Craig Finn, and Laura Jane Grace—expect Branan to pull from the full depth of his storied career at this one. 7 p.m. $27.51. Music Hall at New World Tampa, Tampa
Pink It Up 17: Subliminal Doubt w/ Victims of Circumstance/Saganaki Bomb Squad/SB X JG/Bargain Bin Heroes/Over Wait Mammal/DJ One Time For the better part of two decades, Pink It Up has taken to Crowbar to help raise money for breast cancer awareness. While the venue that’s hosted the charity gig is shutting its doors at the end of the summer, Bay area ska bands will continue the mission with a packed evening that includes over half-adozen bands, live art and jokes from Tampa comedian Steve Miller who himself is a survivor after going through bladder cancer in 2023. 7 p.m. $7. Crowbar, Ybor City
SUN 22
Last Dinosaurs Aussie rock giant Last Dinosaurs is in the states to look back on Wellness , the group’s beloved sophomore LP, which celebrates its 10th anniversary this year. To mark the occasion, Last Dinosaurs released a completely re-recorded version of the album that’s not tied to Universal Records. Hear the Dinos’ take on Sunday. 7 p.m. $35.35. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg
C Model/Actriz w/Allan Gallego It’s not uncommon to see Model/Actriz’s moniker attached to remixes for other artists like Folly Group or The Armed (and even producing standout tracks for songwriters like Charlotte Weinman of Horsepower). Darlings of Brooklyn’s indie-electro scene, the quartet broke through in 2023 with Dogsbody and completely arrived last summer with Pirouette , an 11-track, heart-pumping outing that’s gay AF and painfully-introspective, too. Gripping from the opening of “Vespers” until the final, stabbing naked breaths of “Baton,” it’ll be cathartic to hear the album come to life after an opening set from Miami-based techno producer Allan Gallego. 7 p.m. $17. Music Hall at New World Brewery, Tampa
TUE 24
C Descendents w/Frank Turner & The Sleeping Souls/Nobro U.K’s prince of anthemic pop-punk, Frank Turner, is always in good company, and this mid-week gig is no exception. Descendents, elder of the scene, tops the bill, but get there early for Nobro. The Montreal punk outfit has one of the most raucous live shows on the continent and plays a nostalgic hybrid of ‘70s and ‘90s rock, plus saw its 2023 LP Set Your Pussy Free win a Juno award for Rock Album of the Year. 7 p.m. $58. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg
C Trombone Shorty & Orleans Avenue In April, Trombone Shorty is throwing one hell of a birthday concert alongside Leon Bridges,
THU FEBRUARY 19–THU FEBRUARY 26
Eric Church, Joan Jett and more. For now, he’s playing as many shows as possible before turning 40. Set to play Miami’s Montreux festival later this month, the brass prodigy plays a hyper-intimate gig at Tampa’s local casino. 8 p.m. $81.75 & up. Hard Rock Event Center at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa
WED 25
C Juvenile The world’s been backing its azz up for 26 years now, and Juvenile is still making music. Last month, the 50-year-old icon of Louisiana hip-hop shared a new single (“BBB”) and plans to release his first new solo album in a decade, Boiling Point (stylized allcaps) on March 26. Last fall, the Hot Boy told Stereogum that the album’s title is a nod to how long he’s been waiting to put the music out, adding that Birdman appears on three songs along with many other Cash Money Records icons. “Of course Mannie Fresh in his greatest element. Turk is on there. B.G. is on there. Wayne is on. I got my guy Akeem Ali on there. LaRussell is on there. My son Young Juve’s on there.” he added. “The list is long.” Expect to hear all about it. 7 p.m. $63.15.
Jannus Live, St. Petersburg
C Nep The University of Miami’s Frost School of Music continues to produce some of the Sunshine State’s most exciting young artists. Following in the footsteps of trumpeter Jason Charos (a Gibbs High School alum now making waves as arranger for Samara Joy and for his recent solo debut), Nikki Anderson—better known as Nep—is making waves and arrives with a 2025 album, Noelle, to share. A press release says Noelle is the sound of Nep “leaving Florida behind,” but the effort, produced in collaboration with Jake Sonderman (bassist for for Miami jazz-pop band Sunny Side Up)
reeks of this peninsula, from a breezy, Lenflavored carefree closing track (“Florida Girl”) to the fuzz-rock on get-me-the-fuck-outtahere anthem “Daytona,” and dream-pop on “Biketoberfest.” It follows a bop-filled 2024 outing, Nep’s Storybook , that bounces around between Grecian Urns-esque Americana (“Lovelace,” “Cottontail”), melancholic jazzflavored balladry (“Eat It Too,” “Flowergirl”), and experimental noise (“Coffee Gives Me Energy”). 7 p.m. $21.82. Crowbar, Ybor City
THU 26
C St. Paul and the Broken Bones w/The Point Get ready to go back to church. Known for its orchestral arrangements, emotional arcs, and intense performances that often feel like a cinematic sermon, the Birminghambased band is returning to Jannus Live. Frontman Paul Janeway & co. are no strangers to the Bay area either, having played Jannus in 2017, and the Clearwater Jazz Holiday last fall. One of the band’s earliest shows in the area happened at Crowbar back in 2012. After releasing two slower, more atmospheric albums, the most recent of which inspired by Janeway’s introduction to fatherhood, the Broken Bones are back with a classic feel-good soul sound. Their self-titled album, St. Paul & the Broken Bones, released Oct. 10, may partly owe its swing to its recording location. Cut at the legendary Fame (stylized in allcaps) studios is Muscle Shoals, Alabama, the record feels like a return to the band’s signature danceable style, with a pinch of late-’60s swamp grease mixed in. 8 p.m. $49.11. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg J.C. Roddy
See an extended version of this listing via cltampa.com/music.
Ripples of Bob Weir’s death are still reverberating, and as Deadheads keep truckin’ there are still songs to help them find home. Expect Oteil Burbridge to play quite a few of them when he does an intimate gig in Dunedin next month.
Undisputed royalty in the jam band world, the 61-year-old bassist is a founding member of Dead & Co., The Aquarium Rescue Unit, and Tedeschi Trucks Band (the latter included his late brother Kofi Burbridge). He also spent 17 years in the Allman Brothers Band.
While Burbridge is known to Dead fans as a guy whose improvisational skill re-invented classics like “China Doll” and “High Time,” he arrives at Dunedin’s four-day Spring Beer Jam alongside his Aquarium Rescue Unit bandmate Rev. Jeff Mosier, the Blueground Undergrass banjo player and founder who is a jam scene legend himself for the work he’s done with Phish (the crowd will likely lose it if “Good Times Bad Times” makes the setlist).
Burbridge and Mosier will be backed by members of St. Pete’s own kings of progrock Anthill Cinema. Spring Beer Jam 12—set for March 26-29—will also take over The Moon Tower venue on the same block as Dunedin Brewery.
Other artists on the bill include New Orleans vibraphonist Mike Dillion who is a Spring Beer Jam artist-in-residence alongside South Florida’s Rob Smiley (the latter wielding the sax as part of Funkin’ Grateful and other acts). The Heavy Pets will play two sets, and members of the Pets are part of the Funkin’ Grateful outfit also playing twice. Brain Emoji is also on the ticket along with Joe Marcinek Trio, Heavy Pets yacht-rock tribute Yacht Lava, Dunedin Brewery’s Organ Trail collective, rapper Jon Ditty, and more.
Spring Beer Jam organizer, and brewery General Manager Mike Bryant told Creative
The Deslondes w/Sabine McCalla Monday, March 2. 7 p.m. $24.06. Crowbar, Ybor City
A Beacon School w/Cathedral Bells/Peli Gene Wednesday, March 4. 7 p.m. $20.70. Bayboro Brewing, St. Petersburg
Jammy Buffett Wednesday, March 11. 9 p.m. $23.92. Crowbar, Ybor City
Subterranean Tampa: Dance at Dusk! w/DJ Cub Saturday, March 14. 6:30 p.m. $9.07 & up. Music hall at New World Tampa, Tampa
Khamari w/Gabriel Jacoby Thursday, March 19. 7 p.m. $48.20. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg
Poison the Well w/Contention/Domain Monday, March 23. 7 p.m. $33.53. Crowbar, Ybor City
Loafing Tampa Bay that Burbridge will wrap the weekend on Sunday, playing inside Moon Tower facing a mural of his longtime, and late, Aquarium Rescue Unit bandmate Col. Bruce Hampton who passed in 2017.
The weekend kicks off with Dillon’s Punkadelic featuring Beyoncé drummer Nikki Glaspie and pianist Brian Hass. Bryant’s own Brain Emoji—featuring Marcinek, Jamie Newitt of Heavy Pets, and Bay area bass legend VinnySvoboda—is doing a full collaborative improv set with Dillon on Saturday.
And we haven’t even started talking about the beer.
There’s no cover for Spring Beer Jam 12 happening Thursday-Sunday, March 26-29 at Dunedin Brewery and The Moon Tower in Dunedin. Read Josh Bradley’s weekly rundown of new concerts coming to Tampa Bay below.—Ray Roa
Gladys Knight Wednesday, April 1. 8 p.m. $126 & up. Hard Rock Event Center Pool at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino, Tampa
The Supervillains w/Discord Theory Friday, April 3. 7 p.m. $28.55. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg
Barns Courtney Monday, April 6. 8 p.m. Prices TBA. Crowbar, Ybor City
The Surfrajettes w/Bethlehem Shalom Thursday, April 9. 8 p.m. Prices TBA. Crowbar, Ybor City
Eazybaked w/Taiki Nulight/Surfteam/ Golden Child/Dank Frank/The Bakers Saturday, April 18. 5:30 p.m. Prices TBA. Jannus Live, St. Petersburg
Victor Jones Monday, April 20. 8 p.m. $15. Bayboro Brewing, St. Petersburg
FEBRUARY 24
DECENDENTS + FRANK TURNER Jannus Live
FEBRUARY 25 JUVENILE Jannus Live
Fostering is free: all supplies provided!
Help cats and dogs get a break from the shelter
Raise kittens and puppies in a safe home environment
Earn 4 volunteer hours per day
This wound will not stay
By Caroline DeBruhl
Dear Oracle,
I’ve been with my partner for 10 years, and I love them dearly. We are about to embark in a wonderful new direction and start a family. But while I know there is no one else I’d rather be with, I can’t help but think of my exes. I don’t think I still want them…but I do think I still want them to want ME. I know that sounds childish, but it’s true. How can I banish those bastards from my mind and be fully present with my partner?
Pestered By The Past
Cards: Temperance (reversed), Four of Pentacles (reversed), Three of Swords, The World.
Dear PBTP, In an ideal situation, when you’re in love with someone and they love you back, you feel special. At the beginning, this feels electric, but as the relationship grows and deepens, those feelings tend to become more grounded. It’s no longer the wild storm that you’re caught in but the warm house that keeps you safe and dry. Some people find that stability romantic. Others would rather that lightning bolt keep hitting. With Temperance reversed, there is a question of what brings you earthly pleasure and what makes you feel like your higher self. I think you appreciate your grounded, mature love and are able to keep these flights of fancy about your exes in check, but I do think these thrilling thoughts serve some purpose for you.
The Four of Pentacles can be both a card of fear and force. The thing about emotions—fear, desire, and especially love—is that they really can’t be forced. They have to be processed to be managed. This is something a therapist can help you with. It is worth examining why you want these exes to still think you’re special.
With the heartbroken Three of Swords, I do wonder if these past relationships ended badly for you or were, perhaps, not the healthiest ones to be in.
I’ve written before about being “the one who got away,” which can be a huge ego boost because you’re still viewed as special, even years after the fact.
But if an ex treated you poorly in the relationship, to be thought of as special afterward might feel like an apology. It’s not a continuation of their feelings so much as a reexamination and a realization that they were wrong (or an asshole) and that you did deserve to be treated well.
If you had been treated poorly by multiple partners in the past, that might create a wound that even a loving, healthy relationship cannot fix. Again, this might be something that a therapist could help you with or something to journal about.
But this wound will not stay. With The World ending the spread, I think you will come to the closure you’re after and end the longing of wanting to feel worthy of love from these few exes.
As you expand your family and develop a deeper connection with your partner, you’ll begin a new journey, and one where your identity will shift. I hope that you’re able to see that you are, in fact, special and believe that you’re the bee’s knees and worthy of your own love.
Dear Oracle, I’m a woman in her early 40s, and I have not had a serious relationship in almost a decade. I know I’m not meeting “the right guys,” but I don’t know how because all of my friends are married and have other married friends, and the apps are just a nightmare. I feel like there are no single men in Tampa who want to settle down. Any advice?—Dating Dilemma
Cards: Three of Swords, The Fool, Waxing Crescent, The Sun (reversed).
what else are you wanting in your life right now? What path would you like to start down? The Waxing Crescent is a card of intentions and beginning to sow the seeds of the life you want to grow. This is also a card about attracting things you need. This might mean starting new hobbies that allow you to meet new people, this might mean figuring out things that give you confidence, this might be doing some run-of-the-mill love magick. Whatever it is, having goals and gathering what you need to get there is something that can provide a lot of meaning for you.
ORACLE OF YBOR
Send your questions to oracle@cltampa.com or DM @theyboracle on Instagram
Dear DD, I’m so sorry that this has been a struggle for you, and I deeply sympathize with your situation. It’s fucking rough out there. With the Three of Swords, I think you’ve had a particularly rough go of it. I know this loneliness can be heartbreaking, and in that storm cloud of a card, there is a sense of hopes dashed. But then we have The Fool, who, if anything, is hopeful. There is freshness and hope as The Fool starts down his path, but it is often a path one begins alone. This does not mean that you’ll be alone forever, but I do think it suggests focusing your energies on yourself and other things that can make you happy. Besides a partner,
Because, at the end of the day, the goal is the bright joy of The Sun. It’s a card about hope fulfilled. The Sun is the feeling of a life well-loved. I don’t know what that life would look like for you. I don’t know if that means a partner is around the corner or if your fulfilling life is one without a romantic relationship. But I do know that when we focus all our attention on something beyond our control, we might overlook the things we can control and the happiness they can bring.
It is not easy to feel lonely. There is a particular pain that comes with it. But, perhaps by focusing on creating the life you want, you might meet people who want a similar type of life, and those relationships (platonic or romantic) can bring you joy.
See more of Caroline and learn about her services via carolinedebruhl.com.
The unraveling
by Dan Savage
Ihad a great time at Mr. Mid-Atlantic Leather last month in Washington D.C. For those who don’t know, MAL is an annual fetish event for gay men. There is a lot of socializing in the lobby of the host hotel, a lot of shopping in the market, and a lot of kinky play in the hotel rooms. One of the highlights for me was a mummification party. However, things got awkward when I had to explain to my friends that my husband thought I was on a business trip.
We’ve been together for 25 years, living a happy life in a very blue college town a very red state. Early in the relationship, he discovered that I am into BDSM when he found some Polaroids and some bondage gear in a duffel bag in the back of the closet. I had planned to tell him, just not at the very beginning of our relationship. Instead of ripping off the Band-Aid and having the hard conversation two decades ago like an adult, I did what any conflictaverse gay man with a bondage fetish might do: I shoved the whole thing back into a duffel bag and hid it in the closet, hoping it would somehow magically resolve itself. Shockingly, it did not. My kink side never went away, even as we created a wholesome, Norman Rockwell home life for ourselves.
Over the years, I’ve quietly met up with friends for BDSM play. No romance, no emotional cheating—just consenting kinky adults doing consenting kinky adult stuff. I know this is dishonest. I know I should have addressed it sooner. I love my husband, and I want to stop lying. I want to be honest about who I am. I want to talk about future kink activities without detonating our marriage by giving him a full account of my past extracurriculars. How do I come clean in a way that acknowledges the harm, takes responsibility, and gives our marriage the best chance of surviving? And is there any hope of negotiating a future where my kink life can exist above board instead of in a duffel bag in the back of the closet? Can I have my wedding cake and eat it while tied to a chair too?—Conflicted About Kinky Excursions
“I’ve been cheating on you the entire time we’ve been together—something I rationalized to myself as ‘not cheating’ because there was no emotional involvement, just mummy parties with other men—and I’d like to keep getting tied up on ‘business trips,’ honey, but with your permission, so I don’t feel like shit about myself.”
That’s not something you can un-say, CAKE, and there’s a decent chance that saying that out loud ends your marriage… even if your husband knows, which I strongly suspect he does.
A married person might be able to get away with hiding one or two infidelities over the decades, but very few married people can successfully hide decades of routine infidelities from their spouses. So, you’re either an astonishingly good liar, CAKE, or your husband knows. Or knows enough. He found that duffel bag, he
saw those Polaroids, he knows about your gear. Unless your husband is astonishingly dense, CAKE, he knows your kinks didn’t disappear with that duffel bag. But there’s a difference between kindasorta knowing, having your suspicions and knowing for sure and having your suspicions confirmed. Even if he kindasorta knows or assumes you’ve been discreetly getting your bondage needs met elsewhere, your husband may have taken some comfort in the ambiguity (“maybe he’s been faithful to me and bondage porn is his outlet for this”) and being told what he already knows will devastate him.
For what it’s worth, I was at MAL too with my husband. We met plenty of married gay couples who live perfectly Norman Rockwell lives back home and have weird, wonderful sexual adventures, together and apart. (I actually popped in on a mummification party for a few minutes.) Gay couples prove every day that the choice between Mayberry and MAL is a false one, as do lots of adventurous straight couples. But you can’t have both—or you can’t have it on the up and up—unless you’re willing to risk everything by leveling with your husband about what you’ve been doing.
But before you talk to your husband, CAKE, you need to be clear what “above board” means to you. Do you want to be able to have bondage buddies over to the house? Do you want him to come to MAL with you? If he wants a DADT arrangement where your bondage activities are concerned, CAKE, are you prepared to continue keeping this part of your life hidden from him—are you prepared to keep lying to him—but now with his consent? And seeing as you chickened on this convo 25 years ago, there’s a good chance you’ll chicken out on it again. So, consider putting everything you need and want to say in an email, and then having that conversation. Good luck.
left. Would this violate the general rule against bringing other people into your kinks unwillingly? Or is this more like the foot fetishist who works at the shoe store? Does it cross some sort of line, because we would be advertising it as non-sexual. Which it would be! Kind of—Help Our Maybe Ethical Situation
There are people—mostly men—who are into suits. Wearing business suits and seeing other men in business suits turns them on. I imagine some of these guys go into finance just so they can go to business meetings where they’ll be surrounded by other men in suits. If these guys are lucky enough to have spouses, they no doubt go home from meetings and plow the sexual energy built up during a meeting directly into their loving husbands. There are people—again, mostly men (what is it with men?)—who are into wetsuits. I imagine some of these guys take up scuba diving just so they can splash around with other people’s wetsuits before going home and plowing all that sexual energy into their spouses. There are people out there—mostly men—with medical fetishes who go into medicine...
worried that I would be one of those wives whose husband comes out gay and leaves her after the kids go to college. Last night I finally got him to talk about it. He says he has been sleeping with men since the age of eighteen. He cheated on his ex-wife and all girlfriends before me with men. But he insists he only sleeps with men because he likes having his prostate stimulated. He swears he isn’t attracted to men. He says the proof is he can only stay hard for gay men if he jacks himself off while he is getting “topped.” He says since we were together, he would “mostly” use one of my toys up his butt and jack off looking at pictures of men and reading texts from men, but he wasn’t actually meeting up with men anymore except for that one time. He says he only slept with men in the first place because he was too afraid to ask a woman to “play with his butt.” He swears he’s not attracted to men at all. I am so confused.—
Straight Husband And Gay Sex
SAVAGE LOVE
Even if none of this was okay—even if it wasn’t okay for someone into business suits to go to a business meeting or for someone into wetsuits to take up scuba diving—how would we possibly control for it? Since there’s no way to prevent a business suit pervert from attending a business meeting or a wetsuit pervert from scuba diving, HOMES, we don’t even try. So long as a business suit fetishist can behave appropriately in meetings and a wetsuit fetishist can behave appropriately on dives— so long as they can hide their excitement and maintain their composure—they won’t be asked to leave the meeting or get tossed off the boat.
Your husband’s story is no straighter than he is. You now face a choice between staying with your husband and creating a functional, healthy companionate relationship with him (which will require turning a blind eye to the dick he’s catching on the side) or divorcing him and creating a functional, healthy, co-parenting relationship with your ex-husband. But there’s nothing to be confused about, SHAGS: your husband is gay, and he’s been hooking up with other gay men the entire time you’ve been together. He cheated on his ex-wife with men, he cheated on every girlfriend he’s ever had with men, and he’s going to keep cheating on you with men. My God, SHAGS, your husband is on a queer hookup app that I’ve never heard of—Taimi?— which makes him gayer than me.
Early 40s married and monogamous hetero guy here, Dan. My wife and I have started going to nudist spaces over the last year, mostly beaches or day clubs, just to see and be seen. We always come home and have really hot sex afterwards. Lots of dirty talk once we’re home about people we saw checking us out, both of us describing the hot people we saw, and things like that. It’s been fun. My question, though, is whether it would be ethical for us to host a dinner party or some kind of gathering at our home for other nudists. We would advertise it as non-sexual. It would strictly be a time and place where people could gather in one space, clothes-free. We have drinks and serve apps or dinner or something. It would not be promoted as a sexual thing—no sexual activity would be allowed—but it would definitely fuel the sex we have after everyone
The same standard applies to you and your wife: So long as you can maintain your composure at nudist events—so long as you aren’t visibly aroused at your dinner party, HOMES, so long as you don’t make your guests uncomfortable— you’re allowed to find the atmosphere arousing. And you’re allowed to plow the erotic energy you derive from your nudist dinner party into the wife once the guests are gone, the dishes are done, and the towels you placed on the chairs are in the wash.
Secret perving is always permissible so long as pervs keep their perving secret.
I just learned my boyfriend of three years cheated on me. It was just once, he insists, and it was early in our relationship. I did not find out about this until a month after I gave birth to our son. I found out because he was texting men and when I questioned him, he lied and said he wasn’t texting men but he 100% was. (He would do it sitting next to me on the couch.) So, I did deep dive on his phone and caught him on Grindr, Taimi, and Adam4Adam. I saw stuff—chats with men—going back to before we met. I was
P.S. I shared your letter with Kelly Foster Lundquist, the author of Beard, an incredibly insightful, deeply informed, and very funny memoir about her first marriage, SHAGS, which was to a closeted gay man.
“It can be so destabilizing to feel like a person who’s that close to you hasn’t been honest about who they are,” Lundquist replied. “It can rob you of the ability to trust your own perceptions and intuition. I also can’t imagine a more vulnerable time to be wrestling with all of this than when adjusting to life with a newborn. If I were you, I would need a lot more explanation about why signing on to all the apps and hooking up with men was easier for him than letting you or any of the other women he’s been with know he wanted his butt played with. That’s the part I’m having trouble squaring. I hope, no matter what you decide, that you and your newborn get some sleep and that you feel safe and loved.”
Follow Kelly Foster Lundquist on Instagram @KellyFosterLundquist. For more about her work, readings, and tour dates, go to kellyfosterlundquist.com.
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