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Showcases 11 professional San Antonio-based artists whose methods combine Dada and Pop Art. Each artist employs the gallery wall as a means of display through murals and installation, for his/her twodimensional artwork. 115 Plaza de Armas // San Antonio, Texas 78205 Opening Reception: May 11, 2017 // 6:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. Gallery Hours: Monday – Friday // 8:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. Free and open to the public.

David Almaguer * Ana Hernández-Burwell * Ashley Mireles Jen Frost Smith * Jason Ibarra * James Medrano * Michael Menchaca Kelly O’Connor * Rainey * David “Shek” Vega * Scotch Willington

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FIRST WORDS

• Send your thoughts, comments, kudos or tips to letters@sacurrent.com

Gov. Abbott Gleefully Signs ‘Show Me Your Papers’ Bill Into Law: “That same turd thought Jade Help was coming to get us.” – Josephus Onerom Here’s What Happens When “Urban Redevelopment” Displaces a Trailer Park Full of People: “I hate how everyone always screams ‘GENTRIFICATION!’ anytime improvements are done. Like damn I get it preserve the culture and yes all that but sometimes these shitty buildings need to come down at some point.” – Felix Guerra San Antonio Named Top City for “Naked Gardening”: “Not in my neighborhood. The mosquitos would eat you alive.” – Tequila Moon Doubts, Complaints Fly at Last Hearing on Alamo Plaza Redesign: “While the traffic in front of the Alamo is a drag and should be closed off, that horrid plastic wall is a big N O!!! Surely something more aesthetic and natural could show where the original walls stood?!” – Annett Perez

IN THIS

ISSUE Issue 17_19 /// May 10-16, 2017

NEWS

Round Two Mayor’s race, several council seats head to June runoff Forced Out Here’s what happens when “urban redevelopment” displaces a trailer park full of people

FEATURE

Alive and Well For fermentation fans, this year’s beer week is a lucky number seven

CALENDAR

Our top picks for the week

What’s Brewing Our guide to this year’s SA Beer Week events

Papers, Please Gov. Abbott gleefully approves “sanctuary cities” crackdown

ARTS + CULTURE

Southside Love Letters Humor and heritage artfully collide in VeryThat

SCREENS

Lame Impala Not much under the hood in clichéd melodrama Lowriders

ON THE

FOOD

Filipino Primer What to know before diving into the city’s Filipino fare Food Court Jason Dady is opening a steakhouse, second Fratello’s opens, and more

COVER Recover from Fiesta yet? Yes? Good, because now it’s time to dive into yet another boozy event, the seventh-annual San Antonio Beer Week. With San Antonio tripling the number of local breweries since SA Beer Week’s inaugural run, there’s plenty on tap for you to enjoy. Cheers! Cover illustration by Jess Blank Art direction by Sarah Flood-Baumann

CURRENT • May 10-16, 2017 • sacurrent.com

NIGHTLIFE

The Pink Stuff Testing canned rosé as tubing season nears

MUSIC

Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology

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MONET, MATISSE...AND EVERYONE IN BETWEEN

On view through June 4

This exhibition is organized by the Brooklyn Museum. Lead funding at the McNay is most generously given by the Elizabeth Huth Coates Charitable Foundation and The Brown Foundation, Inc. Additional support is provided by the Marcia and Otto Koehler Foundation, the Nathalie and Gladys Dalkowitz Charitable Trust, Frost Bank, The Joan and Herb Kelleher Charitable Foundation, the G.A.C. Halff Foundation, the Director’s Circle, and the Host Committee. Berthe Morisot, Madame Boursier and Her Daughter (detail), ca. 1873. Oil on canvas. Brooklyn Museum, Museum Collection Fund, 29.30. Photo: Sarah DeSantis, Brooklyn Museum

CURRENT • May 10-16, 2017 • sacurrent.com

6000 North New Braunfels San Antonio, Texas 78209-0069 mcnayart.org

NEWS

MICHAEL BARAJAS + ALEX ZIELINSKI

ROUND TWO •

JON ALONZO

≥

Election night in San Antonio wrapped with several seats still up for grabs and headed for a June 10 runoff, including the race for mayor, several incumbent-less city council posts, and two sitting city council members still fi ghting to keep their jobs. While Mayor Ivy Taylor came out ahead in Saturday's crowded race with 42 percent of the vote, she failed to win a clean majority to avoid a runoff. District 8 Councilman Ron Nirenberg was close behind with 37 percent, and Bexar County Democratic Party Chairman Manuel Medina, who local media dubbed the “spoiler” candidate and firebrand in the race, came in a distant third with 15 percent. The big question at this point is whether we’re headed for a repeat of 2015, when two well-known left-leaning opponents, former state lawmakers Mike Villarreal and Leticia Van de Putte, challenged Taylor, split the progressive vote, and then sent the race to a runoff – which Taylor narrowly won. This year's runoff could very well hinge on how many of Medina’s progressive supporters turn out to vote Nirenberg. At his campaign headquarters, Medina wouldn’t endorse either remaining candidate. For now, the Taylor camp seems comfortable with her chances in a runoff. That might be because this time she's got a clear, 5-point lead in the first round over her opponent compared to 2015, when the first-round vote was split 30 percent Van De Putte, 28 percent Taylor and 26 percent Villarreal. And this time, she's an incumbent fresh off her first term leading the city, a mayor who's got a lock on the conservative vote (thanks to her stance against equal protections for the LGBTQ community and her tanking of a controversial streetcar project that fiscal conservatives hated) who has even managed to pick off some left-leaning supporters like

Van De Putte, despite their ugly 2015 matchup. Taylor's camp is clearly hoping runoffs for city council seats in the conservative-leaning North Side and in the city's East Side district, her home base and the district she used to represent at City Hall, could very well help with turnout in areas where she already sees broad support. The mayor struck a confi dent tone in her remarks Saturday night to a group of supporters gathered at the Wyndham Garden hotel on the River Walk. "So it looks like we're in a runoff, but we came darn close tonight to wining this race outright with 13 challengers and being on page two of the ballot," she said. "We fended off more than our share of falsehoods and half-truths, but we stayed positive to focus on San Antonio's future." Meanwhile Nirenberg, who watched the results roll in from his campaign headquarters on Broadway, said he wasn't particularly surprised by the Saturday night's results. “We are entering a runoff with the weakest incumbent mayor the city has ever seen. San Antonio voters have said tonight that they want a leader in the mayor’s office.” As for his campaign's runoff strategy, Nirenberg said, “Our game plan is to continue to get in front of every voter in San Antonio to make sure they hear the message that our campaign has been delivering." He even shared gratitude for Medina's unusual role in the election, and said that fact that he got 15,000 votes this election only underscored how badly San Antonians want to uproot the status quo. There were also surprises in down-ballot races Saturday night, particularly in city council districts 1 and 2, where incumbents will head to runoffs to fight for maintain their seats. District 1 Councilman Roberto

JULIÁN P. LEDEZMA

Ron Nirenberg

Mayor’s race, several council seats head to June runoﬀ

•

Ivy Taylor

Treviño, who represents the downtown area, fell just shy of a clear victory with 49 percent of the vote, ahead of challenger Michael Montaño, who came out with 31 percent. District 2 Councilman Alan Warrick, who represents the East Side, won just under 41 percent of the vote, meaning he'll face a runoff against attorney William “Cruz” Shaw, who won 29 percent. Perhaps the most shocking results of the night came in District 7, where sitting councilman Cris Medina fell way behind challenger Ana Sandoval, who had the weight of the Castros behind her. Sandoval won the seat outright, avoiding a runoff with 51 percent of the vote compared to Medina's 36. Not surprisingly, all four vacant council seats will head to runoffs. In District 8, Cynthia Brehm, probably best known for her infl ammatory comments about Syrian refugees (“We don’t want them, we don’t need them, send them back!”), won 33 percent of the vote Saturday night compared to Manny Pelaez, the former Brooks Development Authority chairman who won 27 percent of the vote Saturday and will face Behm in a runoff. In District 6, police and fi re union shill Greg Brockhouse came out ahead with 36 percent of the vote. He'll compete in the June 10 runoff with disability rights attorney Melissa Havrda, who narrowly nudged her way into the runoff with 20.5 percent of the vote (she came out merely 28 votes ahead of Rick Treviño, the Bernie Sandersesque progressive in the race). In the crowded North Side races, a District 9 runoff will see Marco Barros and John Courage, while Clayton Perry and Ezra Johnson will face each other in District 10. If you didn’t turn out for Saturday’s election but are registered to vote, you can still cast a ballot in the June 10 runoff election. If you didn’t register, you have until May 10 to register to vote in the runoff.

t sacurrent.com • May 10-16, 2017 • CURRENT 9

NEWS

FORCED OUT Here’s what happens when “urban redevelopment” displaces a trailer park full of people MICHAEL BARAJAS | @MICHAELSBARAJAS

≥

Sometime in early February 2014, residents at Mission Trails spotted two yellow rezoning signs posted near the entrance of their community. They would eventually learn of plans by local real estate developer, White-Conlee Builders, to rezone the 21-acre mobile home park to make way for a 600 unit luxury apartment complex. Rents for a onebedroom would be about $1,000 per month, in line with the new average rent in the rapidly changing neighborhood south of downtown. Developers would later boast of plans for a “Mission theme” at the complex. It would, after all, be situated along the Mission Reach of the San Antonio River, the site of a multi-million dollar taxpayer-funded revitalization project that refashioned the river into one of the city’s most cherished public spaces – and made the land around it attractive to developers almost overnight. They called the project Mission Escondida, the “Hidden Mission.” To real-estate developers and their boosters, it was progress, the continued revitalization of San Antonio’s urban core and the fruit of what former San Antonio Mayor Julian Castro had dubbed the “Decade of Downtown.” To the residents, however, progress was the boot that kicked them out of their homes. Some wept the following month as city council, in a split vote, approved the zoning changes that ushered them out of the park. Castro, who voted against rezoning the property, created a task force on gentrification to learn from the episode as the city continues to throw money, through incentives and tax abatements, at developers who want to make his vision for downtown a reality. The city would even create an entire new commission (the “Housing Commission to Protect and Preserve Dynamic and Diverse Neighborhoods”) tasked with finding ways to safeguard vulnerable people at risk of being shoved out in the city's new wave of urban redevelopment. The commission’s most significant step so far? Those zoning signs, the only warning Mission Trails residents got that they’d have to leave their homes, now must be larger and include information in Spanish. Meanwhile, research continues to highlight the

damage done when development displaces an entire trailer park full of people. This week, activists and researchers who have been following the stories of about half of the 106 families forced to leave Mission Trails in 2014 dropped a new, troubling report that details how disruptive the displacement was for many of the families who lived there – from dismantled social networks to extreme poverty, homelessness and health problems that were exacerbated by the move. Some went into debt or burned through their savings because of it. Many, according to the report, said the financial assistance offered by the developer (on average, about $4,500 per household, according to the report) didn’t come close to covering the costs associated with the abrupt move. These weren't transient people, the majority of them owned their homes and, on average, lived at the park for about 10 years. A few residents had lived there for more than three decades. Three residents died in the months after the move, two elderly women and a middle-aged man who took his own life. Marisol Cortez, the report’s lead author and researcher, says that if the city is actually serious about making sure something like Mission Trails doesn’t happen again, it needs to actively engage with and listen to the former trailer park residents. “The people who went through displacement are the experts on displacement,” she said. Cortez's report is actually a follow-up to findings her group, called Vecinos de Mission Trails, tried to present to the city’s housing commission last year. Cortez says the group asked to make a presentation, but commission members only gave them some extra time at a citizens-to-be-heard portion of a meeting. The new, 100-page report is now slated for discussion at the commission's next meeting, on May 16. In some ways, the report is a manifesto on the forces of gentrification that led to Mission Trails, a detailed examination not just of the hardships faced by residents forced to leave their homes but also the public policies that made it possible. Cortez argues that the Mission Trails episode didn’t happen in a vacuum. Dial back to 2010 when the city created its Inner City Reinvestment Infill Policy (often referred to by its somewhat ominous-

sounding acronym ICRIP), which identified large patches of land inside Loop 410 where the city would give developers fee waivers, tax abatements, grants and loans – a map that just so happened to mirror one showing income inequality, essentially priming some of the city’s lowest-income neighborhoods for publicly-subsidized redevelopment. The city eventually created Centro Partnership, a private-public entity created to cheerlead downtown redevelopment. By 2012, the council approved a new Center City Housing Incentive Program to encourage condo and apartment construction in the central city through tax reimbursement grants, utility fee waivers, and a more streamlined process for redevelopment (the developer that bought Mission Trails is slated to receive some $1.8 million in CCHIP assistance). But redevelopment for whom? “When we talk about revitalization, we need to be talking about human bodies, people who live in and around these neighborhoods, and not just buildings,” says Christine Drennon, an associate professor of sociology at Trinity University who sat on the city’s gentrification task force. It’s cases like Mission Trails, she says, that make some longtime residents skeptical of big, “transformational” projects to remake downtown – like the millions of public dollars now slated to rehab Hemisfair, which, when originally built for the 1968 World’s Fair, bulldozed a working-class neighborhood and displaced some 1,200 people. “A lot of people are afraid that these new things, these new developments will actually hurt them,” Drennon says. “But that’s not where the attention is, on the people this city was built on, but rather the new, the new faces, the new money pouring into these old neighborhoods.” Rogelio Saenz, dean of the College of Public Policy at the University of Texas San Antonio, says he reviewed the Mission Trails report and provided feedback for its authors before they finalized it. “How the people were uprooted there, it’s very typical of the patterns of gentrification that we find not just here in San Antonio but across the country,” he said. He called it a critically important document that he hopes city officials pay attention to, ▶ “a document that provides a historical CONTINUED ON PAGE 13

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NEWS

FILE

◀ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 10

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The former Mission Trails Mobile Home Community.

account, gives the historical basis for what happened to these people and what happened afterward – so that they don’t become invisible.” It's unclear how much weight city leaders will give the report and its recommendations, even as they continue to face the problem of residents displaced by trailer-park flipping in other parts of town. District 8 Councilman Ron Nirenberg, a candidate in next month’s runoff election for mayor, has dealt with similar issues in his own district. He voted for the 2014 rezoning change that ultimately booted the Mission Trails residents, but he also stood outside the old trailer park gates last week as Cortez and other researchers announced the report and residents explained the hardship they've faced in the years since the move. Nirenberg conceded that "knowing what we know now," his vote was a mistake. Mayor Ivy Taylor, who as a council member supported the rezoning, didn't show at the press conference but sent us this prepared statement in response to the report: “Mayor Taylor is moved by the plight of the former Mission Trails residents. She’s working to strengthen San Antonio’s vulnerable neighborhoods through the SA Tomorrow master plan – to ensure residents can stay in their homes despite pressures from a heated real-estate market.” Meanwhile others, like District 3 Councilwoman Rebecca Viagran, appear to have simply written off the report — or at least its timing — as a political stunt. Viagran, who represents the area and won her re-election bid on Saturday, has been heavily criticized by former park residents and activists because she supported the zoning change. Viagran, who also didn't show at a press conference announcing the report this week, told the Rivard Report that clearly its goal was “to influence an election" rather than solve any problems. That's because one of the candidates who challenged Viagran in Saturday's election, longtime local activist Jessica Guerrero, was one of the researchers involved in the report who interviewed residents and says what happened at Mission Trails is largely what inspired her to run for city council. She says the report underscores that "what happened to them was a rippled-out shitstorm, one that hasn't really ended for a lot of these people."

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FACEBOOK LIVE SCREENSHOT // THE OFFICE OF GOVERNOR GREG ABBOTT

NEWS

PAPERS, PLEASE

Get Fit for

Summer Stay Fit for Life

Gov. Abbott gleefully approves “sanctuary cities” crackdown

energyxfitness.com 5162 Broadway St. (210) 608-4241

MICHAEL BARAJAS | @MICHAELSBARAJAS

the number of Hispanics reporting other violent crimes saw a 13 percent dip during that same time. "There's nothing positive that this bill does in the community or in law enforcement," said San Antonio Police Chief McManus at a Monday press conference. "Austin didn't seem to want to listen to its law enforcement leaders across the state. And that, to me, is troubling." The law’s passage means SAPD’s current rule prohibiting officers from asking about a person's immigration status will have to come off the books, McManus said. Before signing the bill into law on Sunday night, Abbott took another swipe at the new Travis County sheriff who changed that county’s policy of cooperating with requests from U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement to detain people (basically, the county now requires a warrant in most circumstances). “Those policies are sanctuary city policies and won’t be tolerated in Texas,” he thundered. “Elected officials and law enforcement agencies, they dont’ get to pick and choose which laws they will obey.” The response Sunday night from civil rights groups, who fear the law could lead to racial profiling, was swift. “This racist and wrongheaded piece of legislation ignores our values, imperils our communities and sullies our reputation as a free and welcoming state,” said Terri Burke, executive director of the ACLU of Texas, in a prepared statement. “Our immigrant communities need to know that we stand with you; we will fight this assault in the courts, at the ballot box, and in the streets if we have to. This is an assault on humanity. It will not stand.”

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Top law enforcement officials in Texas’ largest cities spent much of last week urging state lawmakers and Gov. Greg Abbott to reject a bill that would extend the reach of federal immigration enforcement to local police departments. In a 5-minute Facebook live video Sunday night, Abbott gleefully ignored them, signing into law his promise to crack down on so-called “sanctuary cities” that he says harbor undocumented immigrants. Senate Bill 4, which will now go into effect September 1, effectively bans police departments in cities like San Antonio from enforcing internal policies that tell cops not to ask about immigration status in routine law enforcement encounters. It would force police departments and sheriff’s offices to comply with routine requests from U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials to detain immigrants suspected of being in the country illegally — requests that immigration attorneys and even one federal court judge say are often flawed, fall below the legal standard of a warrant, and are most likely unconstitutional. Police officials who don’t cooperate risk a Class A misdemeanor charge and steep fines under the law, which applies even to college and university campus police departments. Police chiefs across the state warned lawmakers that the bill would force immigrant communities into the shadows, make people less likely to report crimes and therefore make their cities less safe. It’s not an abstract concern: Houston’s police chief has said that already the number of Hispanics reporting rape in that city is down 43 percent from last year, and that

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䄀圀䄀刀䐀匀伀䘀䘀䔀刀䔀䐀䄀猀猀漀挀椀愀琀攀漀昀䄀瀀瀀氀椀攀搀匀挀椀攀渀挀攀䌀攀爀琀椀昀椀挀愀琀攀䴀愀爀欀攀琀愀戀氀攀匀欀椀氀氀猀䄀眀愀爀搀䐀爀⸀ 䠀漀眀愀爀搀䴀愀爀焀甀椀猀攀Ⰰ 倀爀漀最爀愀洀䌀漀漀爀搀椀渀愀琀漀爀 ⠀㈀㄀ ⤀ 㐀㠀㘀ⴀ㐀㌀㔀㔀簀栀洀愀爀焀甀椀猀攀䀀愀氀愀洀漀⸀攀搀甀一漀爀琀栀眀攀猀琀嘀椀猀琀愀䌀漀氀氀攀最攀㌀㔀㌀㔀一⸀ 䔀氀氀椀猀漀渀䐀刀匀愀渀䄀渀琀漀渀椀漀Ⰰ 吀堀㜀㠀㈀㔀㄀愀氀愀洀漀⸀攀搀甀⼀渀瘀挀 sacurrent.com • May 10-16, 2017 • CURRENT 15

FEATURE

SAN

BeEr WeEk

ANTONIO

Illustration by Jess Blank

CURRENT • May 10-16, 2017 • sacurrent.com

AliVe WeLl

FEATURE

a SABW board member and brewer at Freetail Brewing Company, told the Current. “One thing that hasn’t changed is the enthusiasm and energy from the brewer participants — old school and new school alike.” Marcus J. Baskerville, head brewer at Weathered Souls Brewing Company, also cheers the growing craft beer market, seeing it as indicator of the flowering diversity of production in Bexar County. “San Antonio is one of the largest cities in the US, but also one of the most undersaturated cities in terms of breweries per capita,” Baskerville told the Current. “I think it’s a great thing that breweries are starting to pop up around and in the city. It brings a few different things to the market, like creativity, competition and awareness.” Creativity and (friendly) competition are on abundant display during Beer Week. In addition to the official opening and closing ceremonies and a mid-week shindig at Frank’s For San Antonio’s Fermentation Fans, featuring blues-psych believers Lonely Horse, the beer dinners, brewer meet-and-greets, and steal-this-glass pint nights come courtesy of Year’s Beer Week Is A Lucky Number Seven Beer Week sponsors (which include Big Hops, Hop & Vine, and Big Bend Brewing Company) and an assembly of breweries and beerCongrats. You’ve finally, fully recovered from Fiesta — just in time to trade those cascarones for boosting social organizations. It’s enough to Cascade hops and parades for pub crawls. That’s keep SA buzzing (and no less than moderately right, resilient drinkers: San Antonio Beer Week is buzzed) for seven days straight. These twin principles are similarly exemplified upon us, and it’s going to be a killer time. in 2017’s collaboration beer. Brewers from Beer Week 2017, which officially kicks off across the city pitched in to produce a witbier at Main Plaza at 4 p.m. this Saturday, marks brewed with raw wheat and pils malt from the seventh annual celebration of SA’s cerveza scene. Despite some sad developments in recent Fort Worth malthouse TexMalt and a veritable garden of earthly delights — sage, honeysuckle, months (most notably the ongoing restructuring at Branchline Brewing), veterans and newcomers lemongrass, and other herbs. Several of alike are ready to toast a banner year for the city’s these adjuncts come courtesy of the San Antonio Botanical Garden, which is hosting craft beer community. “We have more than tripled the number of area its semiannual Brews and Blooms party on Saturday, May 20; the witbier, of course, can be breweries represented at Beer Week, from just five in [2011] to about 18 this year,” Jason Davis, had at multiple locations every day of Beer Week.

Words by Lance Higdon

AND

bEeR mOves SA’s beer microcosm means a constant flow of growth and change, with players trying new roles and building more skillsets. Here’s some of what’s happened in the last year.

Kevin Hobbins spent more than two years at Ranger Creek Brewing & Distilling helping build a stellar brand of varied brews and spirits. Hobbins is now the San Antonio sales rep for Austin’s Independence Brewing Co. ▶ Alex Rattray opened The Granary ’Cue & Brew with brother Tim in 2012 and launched a conservative brewing program with a rye saison, coffee IPA, brown ale and a seasonal house beer. Rattray left The Granary in October to spread his wings and palate as

There are other reasons for partiers to selfsalud. San Antonio Beer Magazine joined SABW as its official media partner this year, hot on the heels of releasing their fifth issue this past Friday. Taken together with the SA beer movie, the SA beer book, and enough SA band-beer crossover to lead off a killer mixtape, San Antonio may be one of the best-documented beer cities around. According to magazine founder and creative director, Harrison Civick, such extensive coverage has been a boost to the community’s profile on both a local and state-wide level. “I think it definitely helps validate and unify a scene that some people may have not known existed,” Civick told the Current. “It really gives people a tangible product to kind of observe and feel connected with. It transcends the level of just existing, where every scene starts, and enters a realm of actually having a life and spirit.” That spirit has remained fiercely independent. Dallas and Houston have both seen Big Beer make their first acquisitions in Texas craft; at the time of this writing, every brewery participating in Beer Week is still completely under local control. It is also the spirit that inspired Big Bend Brewing Company to come in from Alpine to host a hangout of their own on the afternoon of Saturday, May 20, posting up in the parking lot of their new building (located at 1310 Cornerway) to share some desert-brewed beverages and start to settle in to their second home. According to operations vice president Mahala Guevara, SA’s welcoming, everascendant beer culture is the perfect second home for a brewery founded by Steve Anderson, the godfather of Texas craft beer. “There’s so many interesting people doing such interesting things in SA,” Guevara said. “The wider national culture may not have realized that yet, but it’s just going to be a couple of years before they do. We’d like to grow our brewery and our business in that kind of vibrant, lively economy and culture.”

head brewer at Freetail’s brewpub off 1604. His recent brews include boy band-themed IPAs, lagers and a Shark Week gose. Künstler Brewing, formerly known as the San Antonio Brewing Company, amicably separated from its would-be original location at Yanaguana Garden last July to open at 302 E. LaChapelle St. off South Flores. The brewery, owned by head brewer Vera Deckard and

husband Brent, is still very much under construction, but held a sneak peek during Fiesta this April. Branchline Brewing, which is undergoing a restructuring period, will continue to share its beer with San Antonio. The company’s Facebook page shared news of replenished kegs and 12-ounce packages, which will now be brewed “with the help of another local brewery.” IMAGE COURTESY OF ALEX RATTRAY

sacurrent.com • May 10-16, 2017 • CURRENT 17

Main Plaza, San Antonio Friday, May 12, 2017 8:00 a.m. to 9:00 a.m. Free Breakfast!

Cyclists ride free all day on VIA with your bike.

Join host Randy Beamer as the MPO celebrates 21 years of Walk and Roll in May 2017! Rely less on your car and try out fun activities all month dedicated to active transportation.

PARKOUR • TUMBLING • NINJA WARRIOR • PARTIES & EVENTS

Door Prizes! Interactive Booths!

Full calendar of events @ www.alamoareampo.org/walkandroll

Please join us! San Antonio River Authority 100 E. Guenther (78204) Wednesday, May 24, 2017 6:00 p.m. – 8:00 p.m.

*Doors open at 5:30 p.m. with light refreshments being served and the meeting starts at 6:00 p.m.

Join us for light refreshments and hear about the City of San Antonio’s priority bicycle and pedestrian projects, new ADA Transition Plan requirements, and design concepts for the Avenue B protected cycle track!

For more information about becoming a Foster Parent, join us at The Friendly Spot 943 S Alamo St. on Saturday, May 20th from noon-1:30pm 18

CURRENT • May 10-16, 2017 • sacurrent.com

2623 N. St. Mary’s St. 78212 San Antonio, TX

JOMANDO CRUZ.

COURTESY OF SOUTHERLEIGH

FEATURE

COURTESY OF RANGER CREEK BREWING AND DISTILLERY

Saturday, May 13

2017 Kick Off Party • The party starts at Main Plaza with a DJ set by Gabe of Southtown Vinyl and classic country covers by The Texases, a pig roast by Swine House and The Saga by French artist Xavier de Richemont, and beer! Free, 4-11pm, 115 N. Main Ave., sanantoniobeerweek.com. The Three Bs • Sponsor Hop & Vine invite folks out for a tasty start to festivities with a special on burgers. $20 gets you a burger, fries, turtle bacon and a beer, 4-11pm, 5619 W. 1604 N., Suite 109, (210) 878-4071.

their $1 off specials on pints. Stop in for their staple brews or check out the night’s special release. Prices vary, 2-8pm, 7600 S. Old Bastrop Hwy., New Braunfels, (830) 632-2104.

Credit Union for Kids • Alamo Beer Co. will be the backdrop of this year’s “BBQ & Brew” fundraiser. Help the kiddos by Friday, May 19 purchasing your ticket, which includes a keepsake pint glass Flight of Floats: San Antonio Girls Pint Out will team up with with two beer refills, a Bill Miller barbecue plate and a tour Guadalupe Brewing Co. for a night of stout floats. Pack the of the microbrewery. $35 per person or $60 per couple in Lactaid and drink up these sweet and hearty creations. advance, $40 per person at the door, 6pm, 202 Lamar St., $18, 7-10pm, 103 Gattuso Road, Suite 110, New Braunfels, santarosa.wufoo.com/forms/credit-unions-for-kids-bbq-brew. (512) 878-9214.

SABW Tapping • Get your first taste of 2017’s collaboration beer at Big Hops Bitters and The Bridge. Both will feature a tapping and commemorative San Antonio Beer Week glassware. No cover, 5pm, 306 Austin St., (210) 320-1470 and 226 W. Bitters Road, (210) 437-3588.

Tuesday, May 16

Sunday, May 14

Wednesday, May 17

Mother’s Day Brunch • Mom’s love beer, too. Freetail Brewing Co. will team up with Renegade Foodie for brunch fare, Witmosas and a screening of 2016’s Bad Moms starring Mila Kunis and Kristen Bell. Prices vary, noon-3pm, 2000 S. Presa St., (210) 625-6000.

7th Annual Golden Age of Homebrewing • Beer writer Jeremy Banas, Alamo Beer Co. owner Eugene Simor, the San Antonio Cerveceros and Bexar Brewers host this celebration of the homebrewer. The event will feature a look at the brewing process, samples from homebrewers, a homebrew competition, food trucks and music all on the Hays Street Bridge. Free, but RSVP is required through eventbrite.com, no minors allowed, 6-9pm.

Paints & Pints • Let’s call this one Pilsners Palette, shall we? Seguin Brewing Co. welcomes Matt Wagner of Personal Touch Paint Parties who will guide participants through an art session. $25 per person, 2-4pm, 111 W. Gonzales St., Seguin, email info@seguinbrewing.com for availability. Monday, May 15

Freebies • Rugged beers call for rugged snacks. The guys at New Braunfels’ Ruggedman Brewing Co., which opened this January, will be dishing out free hot dogs and brats along with

Great songs by local band Lonely Horse at 10:30 p.m. The night includes specials from 10 local and surrounding breweries, swag stations, raffles and giveaways. Prices vary, 7:30pm, 1150 S. Alamo St., (210) 265-5292.

Saturday, May 20

Drink With The Brewers • Sample this year’s collab beer — an 5 Pint Brew Crawl • Jump on board with this brewery tour that herby witbier — with the makers themselves or try beers from includes a pint glass, light breakfast, lunch and dinner and stops across the city from one of GS 1221’s taps. 6:30-8:30pm, 1221 along five of the city’s beer makers. $85, 9am-6pm, Appliance Broadway, (210) 251-3184. Liquidation Outlet, 500 Carolina St., 5pintcrawl@gmail.com. Brews & Blooms • The semiannual event returns with more than 30 craft beers available to sample from local and regional breweries all throughout the flourishing San Antonio Botanical Garden. Admission includes eight drink samples, a souvenir glass and shuttled parking. $15-$60; premium admission includes additional drink samples, catered food and early admission, general admission starts at 6:30pm, 555 Funston Place; tickets are available through eventbrite.com.

Sunday, May 21 Pre-Release • Ranger Creek will tap its new release, Mission Trail, Closing Ceremonies • We won’t judge you if you bust out slated for June, early with several tastings throughout San your finest German garb for this finale bash at Beethoven Antonio Beer Week. Hop on the trail at the brewery and learn how Maennerchor. Admission includes six 4-ounce tasters, a it’s made. No cover, 5-9pm, 4834 Whirlwind Drive, (210) 775-2099. sampler plate of traditional fare, German music and a Thursday, May 18 commemorative San Antonio Beer Week glass. $30, noon-4, Lonely Horse at Frank • Know what pairs with great brews? 422 Pereida St, tickets through eventbrite.com.

sacurrent.com • May 10-16, 2017 • CURRENT 19

CALENDAR

KELLY O'CONNOR

CALENDAR COUR T

ESY OF

DA R RE

N K NIG

OUR TOP PICKS FOR THE WEEK

THU

‘MetaDada’

▲ While its title may spark images of Big Brother listening in on your phone calls and squirreling away your emoji-filled texts for safe keeping, the City of San Antonio’s Arts & Culture department’s group show “MetaDada: High Art for the POPulace” is not about metadata (literally “data about data”) but a fusion of concepts and practices associated with the Dada movement and Pop Art. While the hallmarks of Pop (appropriation, mass media imagery, repetition, loud colors) have never truly fallen out of fashion, Dada is less common in conversations about art and therefore remains somewhat misunderstood. Born in Zürich, Switzerland’s Cabaret Voltaire in the middle of World War I, Dada took cues from abstraction, cubism and expressionism and spun them into anti-war, anti-establishment messages rendered in a wide array of media (performance, visual

ART

art, poetry and graphic design among them). Subversive, surreal and intentionally bizarre, the movement positioned itself alongside the radical left, abolished logic, broke the rules and commented on the meaninglessness of life circa 1916. Drawing lines between the two creative movements, “MetaDada” showcases 11 accomplished locals (Ana Hernández-Burwell, Jason Ibarra, Michael Menchaca, Kelly O’Connor and David “Shek” Vega to name a few) working in mixed media, mural painting, collage, printmaking and points in between. Opening in tandem, Public Art San Antonio’s comic-book-inspired exhibition “PASAbilities” is designed to demystify PASA’s mentorship program via “Hero Cards” created by a dozen local artists. Free, 6-9pm, Plaza de Armas, 115 Plaza de Armas, Suite 102, (210) 207-1435, getcreativesanantonio.com. — Bryan Rindfuss

◀ “Southern Mama Hunt’in with Randy!” is fairly typical of a comedy video posted to Facebook. The black vertical bars on either side indicate somebody shot it on their phone, and Munford, Alabama comic Darren Knight, playing the sassdrawling Southern Mama breaks character to laugh at himself and cracks up completely when a dog walks into the shot to lick him. Not typical of similar videos you might find on Facebook, but not too surprising for “Southern Mama” — a view-count of more than 17 million. Knight, whose character has since dispensed advice for Southern Living magazine, says he’s doing impressions of his own mother and grandmother, who are happy to be his inspiration. “They feel like I’ve kind of given Southern women a voice so to speak, and it is definitely something you can watch and relate to,” he told Inquisitr.com last year. Knight is currently touring in an oft-sold-out show with openers Gary “Coach Croker” Cargal, and Jerry Harvey — a “slightly conservative, 49-year-old Southern gay male stand-up comic, paramedic, hairdresser and radio-show host” who carries a .38 in his man purse. Welcome to redneck comedy 2.0, y’all. $26.75–$32.75, 7pm, Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 226 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — Jeremy Martin

Darren Knight

COMEDY

THE 5 BROWNS

AUGUST 25 20

MAY 11

CURRENT • May 10-16, 2017 • sacurrent.com

MAY 13

MAY 18

JUNE 16-25

JUNE 17

CALENDAR

THU-SAT

‘Trama’

ART

Whether drawing in pencil or flattening birdcages into sculptural compositions, Colombian artist Johanna Calle pushes one of art’s purest elements — the line — to unexpected destinations, questioning and commenting on the growth of developing countries, environmental decay and humanitarian tragedies. Widely exhibited and represented in an impressive array of permanent collections (including New York’s Museum of Modern Art and the Museum of Fine Arts Houston), Calle’s typically blackand-white works have investigated the weird world of arachnids and built conceptual poetry from deconstructed anthropological texts. Organized by Ruiz-Healy Art, “Trama” highlights the Bogotá-based artist’s explorations in mark-making along with a handstitched book of intaglio prints that pays homage to her father and the 43 Ayotzinapa students who vanished in the Mexican city of Iguala in 2014. Following Thursday’s opening reception, “Trama” comes to light in an artist talk with Calle and remains on view through June 24. Free, opening reception 5:30-7:30pm Thu, artist talk 2pm Sat, RuizHealy Art, 201-A E. Olmos Drive, (210) 804-2219, ruizhealyart.com. — BR FRI

HARVEY AND HARMONY

11-13

‘Photographs and Facemasks’

Although bound by a fascination with animals, artists Diane Fox (Knoxville, Tennessee) and Abigail Brown (London, England) approach their beasts from opposite ends of the spectrum. A senior lecturer at the University of Tennessee’s College of Architecture and Design, Fox creatively addresses the objectification of nature (in zoos, on TV and elsewhere) via UnNatural History — a photographic series depicting taxidermied animals housed in natural history museums in the U.S. and abroad. At times incorporating reflections, light glare and the inner workings of diorama cases, these images often expose “unreality and the disconnection within the human/animal relationship.” Armed with a degree in surface decoration and printed

ART

textiles, Brown is perhaps best known for her bird sculptures, which have landed in the pages of Vogue, Bazaar, and UK-based Elle Decoration. Working with upcycled materials, embroidered fabrics, wood and papier-mâché, the artist and illustrator handcrafts dolls, wall art and head mounts inspired by owls, squirrels, monkeys, cats and kangaroos. Curated by Clamp Light resident artist and co-director Carol Cunningham (who incidentally grew up “surrounded by farm animals” in Oklahoma), “Photographs and Facemasks” opens May 12 and remains on view by appointment through the end of the month. Free, 7-10pm, Clamp Light Artist Studios and Gallery, 1704 Blanco Road, Suite 104, (580) 7049466, clamplightsa.com. — BR

FILM

SUN

New York Dog Film Festival ▲ As man’s best friends, dogs have been known to provide their owners with emotional support, physical help (to those with impairments), and have even saved the lives of their human counterparts. The New York Dog Film Festival honors our four-legged friends by featuring some highly trained dogs in some touching and hysterical short films, while also supporting local animal welfare organizations. The festival offers animated and live-action flicks celebrating the extraordinary bonds between dog and human. The NYDFF sorts the films into two programs (under 80 minutes each) back-to-back that contain a combined 25 short films of a varying lengths. Program One’s Second Chances showcases 12 films including Harvey and Harmony, a one-minute comic short about a speed-dating terrier who finds love with a beautiful poodle, as well as Joan Mciver documentary A Boy and His Dog, a remarkable story about a seven-year-old boy suffering from a rare

muscular disorder who learns it’s OK to be different when he is introduced to a three-legged Shepherd who’s suffered a tragic train accident. Program Two’s Love Changes Everything features films like K9s for Warriors, about a former soldier and current head trainer of the K9s for Warriors — a program which provides soldiers suffering from PTSD with trained service dogs to help ease the anxiety and depression. Along with presenting some of the finest dogrelated films to the Alamo City, the Tobin is allowing dog owners to bring their well-behaved dogs to the show. A part of the proceeds from each ticket will go toward the Animal Defense League, a strictly no-kill organization that advocates for the adoption of stray, abandoned or neglected dogs and cats, while also catering to preexisting medical/emotional issues. $5-$25, 7pm, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org. — Kimberly Rivera

For Tickets:

.com 800. 745.3000 Theatre Box Office

JULY 5

JULY 15

SEPTEMBER 3

OCTOBER 26

OCTOBER 27

DECEMBER 26-27 2016 NATIONAL TOUR NUTCRACKER.COM

EAST, WEST, CENTRAL

sacurrent.com • May 10-16, 2017 • CURRENT 21

Food Truck! Free Popcorn, & Beer! Free Museum Admission from 4-9pm

Johnny Guitar (1954, NR,110 min) Tuesday May 16 | 6:30pm

Briscoe Western Art Museum | 210 W. Market St. | BriscoeMuseum.org 22

CURRENT • May 10-16, 2017 • sacurrent.com

CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

SAT

ALEJANDRO AUGUSTINE PADILLA

ART

Alejandro Augustine Padilla

◀ Studio Fantomas — which is located in the creatively bustling complex at 1906 South Flores and has shown some really stellar and strange work over the past couple of years — is the home studio for prolific and provocative artists Alejandro Augustine Padilla and James Supa Medrano. For this Second Saturday, the gallery is unveiling a large collection of new work from Padilla. The exhibit, which is set to stay up through June 4 and is simply entitled “New Work,” finds the versatile painter/sculptor stepping away from the ominous, macabre and finely-detailed, surrealist perfectionism of some of his most successful work. The processfocused work in this show, Padilla reports, “is much more chaotic, no filter, true automatism.” He explained to the Current that his new, more expressionistic, and markedly brighter (in subject and in literal color) approach found him allowing himself the freedom to “fuck up the work” and then “embrace the mistake” and go from there. The resulting pieces are complex and playful at the same time, and never feel over-wrought or unnecessarily refined. Even while approaching big concepts like phobias, masculinity, poverty, and Mithraism (to name a few), this new work from Padilla seems to truly embody the mischievous sense of probing whimsy that is at the heart of the surrealist endeavor. Free, 7-10:30pm, Studio Fantomas, 1906 S. Flores St., (210) 978-6663, facebook.com/studiofantomas201. — James Courtney JA

SAT

TALKS PLUS

TUE

CLEMENS REICHEL

the forefront in lieu of a traditional climactic brawl between the two male leads. Combine this gender role reversal with Vienna’s butchy getups, bitchy dialogue, a stylized color palette and music by Peggy Lee, and it’s no wonder that Johnny Guitar is a favorite among LGBT audiences. Viewers with a keen sense of Hollywood history may also notice fairly blatant references to the House Un-American Activities Committee’s witch hunt for communists in the arts (the screenplay was ghostwritten by blacklisted Ben Maddow). Described as the “Beauty and the Beast of Westerns” by famed French film director François Truffaut and “one of the boldest and most stylized films of its time, quirky, political, twisted” by Roger Ebert, Johnny Guitar kicks off the Briscoe’s Women of the West film series, which continues monthly through August with outdoor screenings of Cat Ballou (June 20), Meek’s Cutoff (July 18) and The Homesman (August 15). Free, 6:30pm, Briscoe Western Art Museum, 210 W. Market St., (210) 299-4499, briscoemuseum.org. — BR

Nearly a decade before her epic feud with Bette Davis came to a head during the filming of Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, San Antonio native Joan Crawford was tangled up in a rivalry with Mercedes McCambridge, her costar in the cult classic Western Johnny Guitar. Panned by American critics but appreciated in Europe, the 1954 film stars Crawford as Vienna, a gun-wielding saloon owner who finds herself at war with a posse of townsfolk (led by McCambridge’s character, Emma Small) after bedding down with suspected bank robber Dancin’ Kid and getting behind plans to run a railroad through their dusty Arizona town. Although Vienna’s allegedly hot for the title character (a guitar-carrying gunslinger she used to date), there’s arguably more sexual tension between her and Emma. As the story goes, Crawford flew into a drunken rage one night after filming, raided McCambridge’s dressing room and scattered her costumes in the middle of a nearby highway. The following day, Crawford demanded major script revisions that brought Vienna and Emma’s duel to

RIG

FILM

TALKS PLUS

‘Erasing Mankind’s Heritage’

BL IC P IC T UR

Johnny Guitar

TUE

‘Traditional Plants & Healing’

Long before the onset of medical technology, indigenous groups relied on the healing powers of herbs and plants, along with ceremonial prayer and practice. These holistic means of medicine evolved throughout the centuries, but remained true to traditional spirit. Curanderismo, a Latin American healing system, involves indigenous beliefs and rituals that have been used throughout history and is still being taught today. This system maintains the physical, emotional and spiritual aspects of health by combining the medicinal use of plants and instinctive realm of the spirit. Jane Madrigal, a local Xicana artist, is a firm believer in the power of plants and mindfulness of the Earth and all living things. With her artwork rooted in indigenous and religious iconography, Madrigal reflects her Mexican heritage and aims to advocate for the social injustices suffered by her people. Living by a set of laws of interconnectedness, Madrigal hopes to inspire the San Antonio community to reconnect with the natural world and our ancestors, and through reconnection, to see the limitless value of our planet. Free, 10am, Land Heritage Institute, 1349 Neal Road., (210) 846-9403, landheritageinstitute.org. — KR

▲ The ancient city of Palmyra dates back as far as the Neolithic period, changing hands innumerably before becoming a famous trade center established by the Roman Empire. Palmyra grew in wealth due to an overwhelming influx of trade caravans. Its inhabitants included Palmyrene merchants who founded colonies along the Silk Road, opening international trade markets linking East and West. Palmyra became the headquarters for the blending of Eastern and Western culture, materials and goods. Due to this multicultural mixing, the arts and architecture of the city evolved to include all of the different influential nations. The city’s wealth paved the way for the construction of incredible monuments like the Temple of Bel and the Great Colonnade — influenced by the city’s great cultures. Syria’s great symbol of multicultural acceptance was seized by ISIS in 2015, and has since undergone tragic destruction, reducing pieces of the once great city to rubble as the rest of the world watches in shock. In his lecture “Erasing Mankind’s Heritage: the Monuments of Palmyra and their Devastation by ISIS,” Dr. Clemens Reichel, a Ph.D in Mesopotamian archeology, will use onsite photos and videos to outline the trade city’s importance to multi-cultural society, highlighting major achievements, products and monuments. Reichel will also shed light on the global consequences of losing such an influential piece of world history. Free, 6:30-7:30pm, San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 West Jones Ave., (210) 978-8100, samuseum.org. — KR sacurrent.com • May 10-16, 2017 • CURRENT 23

SPONSORED BY

11TH ANNUAL

RockIT into the Future

RK Brown / EVIDENCE

Science Festival

SAT. MAY 13, 2016 • 10AM-2PM Heroes Stadium | 4799 Thousand Oaks FREE & OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

SEAMLESS INTEGRATION OF AFRICAN DANCE

SATURDAY, MAY 20, 2017 8PM | $35

GIRLSINCSA.COM 24

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ART Art opening: “If You Were To See Me Now” Artist Jessica Robles presents a

FILM Bexar County High School Film Festival

Art opening: “Whispers of Wuxi” In

Ex Machina Cinema on the Rocks returns

partnership with Luminaria, Musical Bridges Around the World Gallery hosts an exhibition of paintings and calligraphy created by three Chinese artists – Chen Hao, Ge Qiang and Geng Minxia – from San Antonio’s sister city of Wuxi. With the aid of an interpreter, the gallery will go live and speak with the artists in Wuxi during the opening reception. Free, 5-7pm Saturday; Musical Bridges Around the World Gallery, 23705 I-10 W., (210) 464-1534.

Art in the Park with Artpace Hemisfair

and Artpace team up for a kid-centric workshop in which local artist Leigh Anne Lester will guide participants (ages 4 to 12) in the creation of a masterpiece inspired by her drawings of “mutant” botanicals. Free but RSVP requested at eventbrite.com, 11am-1pm Saturday; Hemisfair Park, 434 S Alamo St., (210) 212-4900.

Art Party: Strike a Pose SAMA and

KRTU’s monthly collaboration continues with an evening of gallery tours, artmaking activities, specialty cocktails crafted by The Esquire Tavern (cash bar) and live jazz by the Austin-based Kris Kimura Quartet. $5-$10, 6-8pm Friday; San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave., (210) 978-8100.

Artist Platica: “Aqui Estamos y No Nos Vamos” Working class, immigrant and queer women of color come together for a discussion about the works and themes presented in the Esperanza’s exhibition “Aquí Estamos Y No Nos Vamos.” Free, 6:30-8:30pm Friday; Esperanza Peace & Justice Center, 922 San Pedro Ave., (210) 228-0201.

San Antonio Clay Arts Festival The

San Antonio Potters Guild and the San Antonio Glass Guild rally ceramic and glass artists for a show and sale encompassing a wide range of works. Free, 9am-4pm Saturday; Pearl Studio, 312 Pearl Pkwy., (402) 380-5064.

Zoë Buckman In partnership with the Linda

Pace Foundation, the Southwest School of Art welcomes nationally recognized artist Zoë Buckman for a presentation about her artistic process and her perspectives on “art as social practice.” Free, 6:30-8pm Thursday; Southwest School of Art-Navarro Campus, 1201 Navarro St., (210) 224-1848.

Slab Cinema presents a free outdoor screening showcasing 21 short films created by high school students from across Bexar County. Free, 8:30pm Tuesday; Hemisfair Park, 434 S. Alamo St., (210) 212-9373. to Edwards Ridge for a screening pairing a local short film with writer/director Alex Garland’s haunting sci-fi thriller starring Domhnall Gleeson as a young programmer who’s selected to participate in a ground-breaking experiment in synthetic intelligence by evaluating the human qualities of a breathtaking humanoid A.I. (Alicia Vikander). Free, 7:45pm Wednesday; Edwards Ridge Distillery, 16104 University Oak, (210) 802-7864.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Slab Cinema

revisits the John Hughes classic following a hip high school student (Matthew Broderick) who concocts a sophisticated plan to take an epic day off with his girlfriend Sloane (Mia Sara) and best friend Cameron (Alan Ruck) in tow. Free, 8pm Saturday; Hemisfair Park, 434 S. Alamo St., (210) 212-9383.

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Saturday Night Fever The Bijou

celebrates the 40th anniversary of John Badham’s 1977 classic with a screening of the Director’s Cut, plus a look back at the film’s legacy via interviews with the director and cast. $12.50, 2pm & 8pm Wednesday; Santikos Bijou, 4522 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 734-4552.

THEATER Bus Stop The Classic Theatre presents Bus

Stop, a famous jest of human relationships. Penned in 1955 by playwright William Inge, Bus Stop is a romantic comedy about a group of strangers stranded overnight in a Kansas diner. With a blizzard threatening road conditions, five passengers unexpectedly find themselves sharing a small dinner with three locals with big personalities. $10-$25, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday; Classic Theatre of San Antonio, 1924 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 589-8450.

The Last Days of Oscar Wilde Having

recently celebrated the grand opening of its new home on Bandera off Loop 410, the award-winning Overtime Theater digs into the foreshortened life of Oscar Wilde, a playwright, poet and critic beloved for his haunting novel The Picture of Dorian Gray (1891) and his comedies A Woman of No Importance (1893), An Ideal Husband (1895) and The Importance of Being Earnest (1895). A flamboyant rebel who espoused the aesthetic movement (led by a belief of “art

FREE & OPEN TO THE PUBLIC

series of watercolors that represent “a time of reflection and cleansing of the heart and soul.” Free, 7-10pm Saturday; Provenance Gallery, 1906 S. Flores St., (210) 216-8362.

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sacurrent.com • May 10-16, 2017 • CURRENT 25

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for art’s sake”), Wilde had two sons with his wife Constance Lloyd but later struck up a homosexual affair with Lord Alfred Douglas (aka “Bosie”), spent two years in jail and died broke in a Paris hotel. $10-$15, 8pm Friday-Saturday; The Overtime Theater, 5409 Bandera Road, (210) 557-7562.

Peter and the Starcatcher “The Neverland

you never knew” comes to life on stage in the Vex’s production of Peter and the Starcatcher — Rick Elice’s adaptation of the best-selling children’s novel. Billed as a “swashbuckling grownup prequel to Peter Pan,” the play employs a cast of 12 to portray more than 100 characters. $16-$22, 7:30pm Thursday, 8pm Saturday, 2:30pm Sunday; Sheldon Vexler Theatre, 12500 NW Military Hwy., (210) 302-6835.

Urinetown: The Musical The Playhouse

stages a production of Greg Kotis’ comedic story of socio-economic oppression, capitalism, corporate greed and the individuals willing to fight for freedom of urination. $12-$42, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday; The Playhouse, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258.

SPECIAL EVENTS Asian American and Paciﬁc Island Heritage The ITC’s Free Second Sunday

program celebrates Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage Month with a day of vibrant performances, lectures and family activities. Free, noon-4pm Sunday; Institute of Texan Cultures, 801 E. César Chávez Blvd., (210) 458-2300.

Association for Recorded Sound Collections Conference Join some of

the world’s foremost record collectors, audio preservationists and other experts in recorded sound history and technology for four days of lectures, workshops, exhibits, film screenings and a free Friday night Collectors Roundtable (9-11pm). $30-$210, 9am-9pm Thursday-Saturday, Menger Hotel, 204 Alamo Plaza, (812) 855-7530.

Celestino Fall/Winter 2017 Acclaimed

fashion designer Sergio Guadarrama offers

San Antonio fashionistas an exclusive look at Celestino’s Fall/Winter 2017 collection at an event co-chaired by Adam Wilson and Tony Harris, with proceeds benefiting the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society. $75, 7-9pm Saturday; Roosevelt Library, 311 Roosevelt Avenue, (210) 721-8622.

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E FRE SION IS M D A

Eckman’s Card, Comic & Toy Show

Boasting more than 150 booths selling comics, toys and records, plus 20 artist booths with original artwork and custom items, Eckman’s May show doubles as a fundraiser for the the Wounded Warrior Family Support Center. $7, 9am-4pm Saturday; Austin Highway Event Center, 1948 Austin Hwy., (210) 878-4053.

EveryBody Beautiful Eye Candy Boutique

and Lustrous Public Relations join forces for an interactive fashion party celebrating local business, equality, unity and diversity. Part fashion show, part shopping experience, EveryBody Beautiful aims to raise funds for Pride Center San Antonio (aka The Center). $10, 7-11pm Saturday; Brick, 108 Blue Star, (210) 316-7291.

Friends Festival Quaker Meetinghouse’s

festival “for good” features tie-dye workshop for kids, vendors offering Mother’s Day gifts, a farmers market, pony rides, a farm animal petting zoo and pet adoptions. Free, 10am-2pm Saturday; Quaker Meeting House, 7052 N. Vandiver Road, (210) 858-7696.

Pastie Pops Burlesque and Variety Show Award-winning troupe the Pastie

Pops throw caution to the wind with an old-fashioned burlesque and variety show featuring performances by Mary Annette, Vixy Van Hellen and Jasper St. James. $10, 8pm Friday; Sexology Institute and Boutique, 727 S. Alamo St., (210) 487-0371.

Twisted Taco Truck Throwdown Every

year, thousands flock to taste the best tacos from over 20 local food trucks, to judge and vote on the People’s Choice Winner, and to revel in the florid taco community here. Local celebrity judges (last year included Judge Spurs Jesus) make the crowning decision for the Grand Champion and Freestyle category winners. Free, 3pm-midnight Saturday; VFW Post 76, 10 10th St., (210) 725-5477.

Zoo La-La! A Taste of San Antonio The

San Antonio Zoo’s signature fundraiser invites attendees to sample food from 50 of San Antonio’s premiere restaurants along with craft beer and wine while strolling by animal habitats and enjoying live music by retro faves The Spazmatics, Texas country star Matt Caldwell, Howl2GO Dueling Pianos and DjQuake. $85-$120, 7-10:30pm Thursday; San Antonio Zoo, 3903 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 734-7184.

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. T A E . k n i r D . E GIV Culinaria Festival

Wine + Food + Spirits + Beer = SA Proud

May 18-21, 2017 San Antonio, TX Social Media: Facebook: /CulinariaSanAntonio Instagram and Twitter: /CulinariaSA

CURRENT • May 10-16, 2017 • sacurrent.com

for one or more of the following events It’s the place to see San Antonio’s best chefs all in one place and all you pay is the price of admission to rub elbows with some of the brightest stars in our city. Not to mention, taste, taste and taste some more of the culinary creations they’ve designed. Add to the flavors your choice of wine, beer or cocktail and the setting of the Texas Hill Country and your weekend is complete at this year’s Culinaria Festival. CulinariaSA.org

sacurrent.com • May 10-16, 2017 • CURRENT 29

ARTS + CULTURE

PHOTOS COURTESY OF CRISTINA MARTINEZ

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN OUR SISTER PUBLICATION OUT IN SA

CHRISTINE GARZA

SOUTHSIDE LOVE LETTERS Humor and Heritage Artfully Collide in VeryThat •

Cristina Martinez, the local artist behind VeryThat

CURRENT • May 3-9, 2017 • sacurrent.com

ARTS + CULTURE

There are people who see beauty in the world, and there are people who make beauty in the world. Cristina Martinez, founder of VeryThat and all-around badass Chicana, does both. I first met Martinez in early 2014 at an art market on South Flores Street. Among a crowd of crafty vendors selling everything from artisanal lip balm to locally sourced honey, Martinez stood out. The space she and her wares filled was colorful, welcoming, and Mexican. There was something different about the art she was making: a funky mix of handcrafted ceramic tiles bearing glossy images of drag queens, Selena, Frida Kahlo and so many familiar cultural dichos (“échale ganas, mija” was my personal favorite). When I asked her how I was supposed to use the tiles (Was it a coaster? Should I hang it on the wall?), she tilted her head and told me they could be whatever I wanted them to be. To this day, one of her tiles is placed above the sink in my guest bathroom, offering up a friendly reminder to anyone who passes through: “Please don’t do coke in the bathroom.” She wasn’t pretentious or eager to sell for the sake of making a sale. She just wanted to share a part of who she was with the world, and she stuck with me. Martinez recently took time to chat with me about her work, her inspiration and the celebration of being chingona. Tell us a little about yourself and how you came to begin your work. I’m from the Southside of San Anto. It’s a huge source of pride for me! I grew up in the very same house I live alone in now, and it’s such an integral part of who I am. My parents are both from Mexico, so as a kid, I spent a lot of time there. I was a border baby in between Piedras Negras, Coahuila, where my dad was from, and Eagle Pass, Texas, where my mom’s parents lived. My work and life are super reflective of that time, and I think anything I make is like a little love letter to that time. Strong, independent cabronas are my muses and I’m lucky to have had plenty of those growing up and in my life now. Mami’s sayings, abuela’s dichos — those are kind of the foundation to VeryThat. One day, probably about 10 years ago, my niece Lexi and I walked into Target around back to school time and Lexi pointed out that all the little girls in the posters above us were white and did not look like her. That left an impression! Now, in addition to the tiles, totes and tees, I’m working on calendars, planner accessories and stationery — all inspired by my Lexi. What keeps you motivated? So many things! Women, my comadres, are such inspirations in general. I so often get asked to make and carry things for cis men, but nah, my work is for women. When I quit my last job, I knew that I had to work hard to make it work — to make a living for myself and live comfortably. I never realized how many obstacles would come with that decision, but honestly, it was the best one I ever made. I’m so excited to learn new mediums that I generally close myself in for a few days to figure things out. That’s so exciting to me — getting a new machine or wanting to try something that I don’t know anything about and just learning it through and through. I have a lot of support — my mami, who is the number one muse in my life, my sisters and nieces, my best friends and comadres, and of course, my partner. She reminds me every day that she believes in me; she comes and rubs my shoulders when she

sees me stressed about something. She’s at shows with me doing a lot of the hard work behind the scenes. My business as a whole changed dramatically last year — something just clicked for me. I finally started selling online. It took a few months to fully figure out, and I’m still learning new things every day. I could not have pulled it off without Vanessa and her support and love. Gloria Anzaldúa famously wrote about living in borderlands, that mystical space where we inhabit so many different personas all at the same time. What aspects of your identity speak to your work the most? Wow! Gloria came to me later. I wish I knew her in my early 20s! My work, the cositas I put on my tables, is so bright and intentionally funny, vulgar, nostalgic. Sometimes I have to go to a past place for that. I think about Carmen, the mom in Real Women Have Curves. That’s the best role in the history of roles, in my opinion. She reminds me of so many tías, my mom — that mix of pinche and loving; that was my childhood. So, in one breath, I would hear how pretty or smart I was, and in the next, I’d be told to lose weight. This was like when I was 9! I mean, really, how fucked up is that? Pero, that’s what it was, and now I can find the funny in it. Now I embrace the gorda, much to some family members’ scoffs. I can finally say that, yes, I’m femme even when I don’t always abide by that aesthetic. It’s a beautiful thing to let go of these pendejadas passed down to us — as if we ever asked for them. My work is colorful and funny, but sometimes that’s inspired by a hurt 9-year-old kid, and sometimes that’s inspired by the cabrona in me that I have worked so hard to bring out again. Vending life is funny because you’re always “on.” Oh my god, especially at first, you don’t want to lose that sale that literally pays your bills! So, for a long time, I buried the cabrona and only brought out the sweetest parts of me. Ya no. I have done a lot of personal work to make sure I allow the full me to be present, always.

Where do you find inspiration? It took me a long time to realize I really, really like being alone. Early on, I always needed someone by my side to go anywhere, to do anything. Now I really take comfort in being alone with my thoughts, alone with my music, alone in my chones. That’s when I’m most productive, most creative. Also, I try to read Sandra Cisneros a couple times a year. I am so grateful to the friend that shared Gloria Anzaldúa with me; I never knew how much I needed her, especially as a Tejana. I listen to Selena, Juan Gabriel, Rocío Dúrcal, Carla Morrison, Erykah Badu and Beyoncé almost exclusively. My workspace is surrounded by the work of other women I admire, and is mostly local. My neighborhood, the beautiful Southside of San Antonio — ay, I could write love letters about it every day and never have enough words. Sometimes I cruise my neighborhood on my bike and check out people’s houses and yards. There are so many tiny altares to La Virgen de Guadalupe, and flowers mixed with nopales, and kids still playing outside, women in batas watering their yard or sweeping their sidewalk. I just love it. Also, I come from a long line of strong women who hustle. Growing up, I remember my mom having so many side hustles. I can finally acknowledge that it’s just as important to nurture the hustle as it is to nurture the creative [side] of my business. What has the most fulfilling experience been for you since you began VeryThat? Connecting with other women, hands down. I never expected to organize shows, collaborate with women and businesses that I admire so much, and be a part of this really badass network of local (and sometimes not so local) mujeres. Also, sometimes it’s hard for me to say that I’m proud of myself, but I am. I have created this crazy little life where I support myself with my art and cositas, connect with people all over the world through social media, and live a life that I would have loved to read about as a kid.

sacurrent.com • May 3-9, 2017 • CURRENT 31

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LAME IMPALA Not much under the hood in the clichéd melodrama Lowriders

≥

A lowrider is a kind of customized car most associated with the Mexican-American community in Los Angeles. Customization features hydraulics that raise, lower and bounce the chassis, and painted murals on the hood. Lowriders are highly personal works of art for their dude creators — pretty much always a dude — in which a dude also looks supercool slow-cruising the southern California boulevards. If you do not already know all of this, Lowriders is not for you. There’s no onramp for an interested outsider to gain a true appreciation for a unique subculture. The best that can be said about Lowriders is that it seems keen to suggest that melodramas full of hoary clichés about men who are unable to express themselves emotionally, except through heavy machinery, transcend ethnicity. And so we have Danny (Gabriel Chavarria), a graffiti artist and part-time worker in his dad Miguel’s (Demián Bichir) lowrider auto shop. Dad doesn’t think Danny is a real artist; Danny insists that he is. They don’t talk about older brother Francisco (Theo Rossi), just out of prison. They don’t really talk about much at all beyond cars. When Danny shrugs and says that Miguel’s prize vehicle, Green Poison, is “just a car,” well, he gets a good verbal lashing for that. It certainly seems as if Miguel cares more about that damn car than he does

about Danny, and I was really hoping that Danny was gonna pull a Cameron-in-Ferris Bueller’s Day Off and send it flying through some plate glass. But that never happens. Lowriders, the first Englishlanguage film from Peruvian director Ricardo de Montreuil, isn’t just clichéd: it doubles down on its clichés. In other similarly cheap and easy movies, when the ridiculously supportive woman — such as Miguel’s wife, Gloria (Eva Longoria) — yells at her man, “You have to talk to your sons!” he generally figures out how to do that, so he doesn’t lose them. Not here. Lowriders is mostly about how Danny eventually comes around to Miguel’s point of view, that “lowriders are about family” and that the proper venue for male tenderness involves more chrome than conversation, more spark plugs than hugs. It’s almost as if getting to that ending, that embrace of men’s inability to actually confront their own inner selves and their relationships with others, is built in from the beginning of the film: These men feel more like pawns of a shaky plot than plausible people. (They don’t even feel like people who are plausibly confused or uncertain.) The script, by Cheo Hodari Coker and Elgin James, is full of such head-scratchers as this bit from Danny’s narration: “I put up my art for free, and he

wastes his money on car parts? That makes no sense to me.” I don’t understand how that is meant to reflect Danny’s frustration with his father: isn’t working for free also throwing away money? Danny informs his father, “I guarantee you I’m gonna make it with my art,” but he doesn’t seem to know what that means. Danny actually scoffs at his manic-pixie-dream-girlish new girlfriend, hipster photographer Lorelai (Melissa Benoist, TV’s Supergirl), who tries to set him up with gallery contacts and push him toward the success he says he’s seeking. What does he think being a successful artist means, if not that? The movie seems to believe that Danny has no options beyond what he ends up with here, so it’s hardly the triumphant “choice” it’s framed as. And still, Lowriders might have skirted by as the unchallenging melodrama it wants to be, until it nosedives into inexcusable absurdity in the final third. Without any hint that such a thing was possible, one character enacts an unforgivable betrayal of others, and then is just as mysteriously accepted back into the family of lowriders. There’s a special kind of awful in a movie that cannot even satisfy well-worn clichés without cheating to get there.

sacurrent.com • May 10-16, 2017 • CURRENT 33

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Jason Dady is opening a steak house, second Fratello’s opens, and more

> So when Jason Dady’s not hosting fellow Iron Chef: Gauntlet contestant Shota Nakajima and taking him to NIOSA, or cooking at Austin Food & Wine Festival, or making every Iron Chef viewing party at Shuck Shack (he cleared episode three Sunday and has yet to face the Secret Ingredient Showdown), the 40-year-old is busy signing leases on new spots. The restaurant inside Embassy Suites that housed Lüke San Antonio won’t be empty for long. Dady announced he’ll open Range, a new modern American chophouse that’ll showcase “the bounty of the Texas Hill Country, world-class Texas beef, fresh seafood...and sought-after game from the Field,” according to a press release. Those familiar with Lüke, which closed this February, will recall the space’s massive footprint. It’ll be interesting to see how Dady takes the place and makes it his own with his first steakhouse, which will also feature an extensive wine list, ungraded classic cocktails and local craft brews. Range will be the second steakhouse on Houston Street after Bohanans, but also Dady’s third time serving downtowners (he first opened Insignia and later turned it into Tre Trattoria inside The Fairmount).

Fratello’s Heads Downtown

> Casual Italian fare with a delicious flair is back in the Downtown area. Fratello’s Deli opened a second location inside the former home of O’liva Healthy Cuisine & Tasting Room.

R AI OR INE

Fratello’s Centro Citta, owned by Bobby Corbo, Dan Martinelli and Tommy Magaro, opened May 1 with breakfast and lunch. There will be a few tweaks to the original menu, as the restaurant focuses on breakfast including baked goods and pastries. Grab-and-go salads and some cold sandwiches will be wrapped and ready for pick-up. Because the restaurant won’t be serving dinner, the space will be available to rent for events and catering. Hours are 7 a.m. to 3 p.m. Monday through Friday and 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. Saturday. Fratello’s Centro Cita is closed Sundays. 115 Plaza de Armas, Suite 107.

Mochi mania

> Mochi has landed at area Whole Foods Markets. The grocery store first announced the launch of a new mochi bar at select stores (Wheaton, Illinois, Fremont, California, Austin, Texas) on January 31, and San Antonio’s two locations now lay claim to their very own mini mochi selfserve bars. Mochi ice cream, a Japanese-American dessert made by covering bite-sized balls of ice cream with a sweet Japanese rice dough, is available at $2 a pop. Flavors include vanilla bean, double chocolate, red bean, black sesame, ripe strawberry, Khona coffee, sweet mango, green tea and matcha green tea. The small freezer is located near the hot and cold bars by check out at the Alamo Quarry location, where a team member says people have been “super excited” about having the dessert bar available. The Quarry location

Pearl

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received the mochi bar about a week and a half ago, per said team member, but the Vineyard location has been rolling in mochi since late March, per one of the company’s marketing and community relations members.

Pencil In Culinaria

> Mid-May means the return of Culinaria’s Festival Week. The kick off starts Thursday, May 18 with The Culinaria Dinner “From Campfires to Tablecloths” at Kirby’s Prime Steakhouse (7pm, $125); follow it up with Bubbles and Pearls at La Cantera Resort & Spa for effervescent Champagne, along with oysters, shrimp and scallops (7pm, $75-$100). Saturday, May 20, La Cantera’s hosts Tex-Mex & Tequila, an exploration of the history of Tex-Mex, food and beverage seminars and tastings (11am, $35$50); the Grand Tasting features some of the city’s best eateries with a wide variety of cuisines, live entertainment and great wines (7pm, $100-$125). The cap to the festivities includes a Southern Sunday Brunch inside Primero Cantina (9am, $40, drinks sold separately), and the meat-lovers’ favorite, Burgers, BBQ & Beer, which features area chefs creating delectable burgers and plenty of cold beverages (1pm, $35-$50). Visit culinariasa.org for tickets and details.

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CURRENT • May 10-16, 2017 • sacurrent.com

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What to know before diving into the city’s Filipino fare HANNAH LYNN

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Just outside of the San Antonio city limits, neighboring the Randolph Air Force Base in Universal City is My ChockDee Oriental Market. Though the name doesn’t suggest it, half of My ChokDee is also a buffet-style restaurant and all of it is catered to Filipino cuisine. In other words, it’s a Filipino grocery store and restaurant combo. At a price point of $7.99 on weekdays and $12.99 on weekends, it’s hard to go wrong with any of the choices on the buffet. However, nothing is labeled so it’s helpful to learn a few of the dishes before visiting (unless surprise stewed blood is your dinner goal). The cuisine has roots in native Filipino food traditions, but has also been strongly influenced by Spanish cooking as well as Malay-Indonesian, Indian, Japanese, Chinese and American cuisines. Essentially, there is no way to really explain the flavors of Filipino food without trying it, so make sure to keep an open mind. Here are some suggestions for a first time visit to the buffet: Sinigang • The pork-based light brothy soup usually comes with vegetables like tomatoes, radishes and taro. Traditionally, it is made with tamarind, so the main note of the dish is savory and sour. My Chockdee’s version includes generous portions of pork, allowing you to make it a hearty part of your meal. Sinigang is intended to be eaten with rice, but can also be eaten on its own for a Filipino-style “chicken noodle soup.” Adobong Baboy (Pork Adobo)• Filipino style adobo can be made with chicken, but the pork version is a bit better known. Meat in an adobo dish is browned in oil, then finished with vinegar and other seasonings like garlic. The ingredients come together to make a rich

garlicky and peppery sauce, with whole peppercorns in My ChockDee’s version, accompanying a sort of pan-fried pork. The vinegar makes it mildly acidic. Like many Filipino dishes, the pork and sauce should be eaten over rice. Dinuguan (Pork Blood Stew)• Easy to spot by its distinctive dark colored hue, dinuguan literally translates as “to be stewed with blood.” For Western palates, the texture could be described as liver in stew form — it’s a bit grainy. The dish is savory and tangy from vinegar, with hints of mild spice from chiles. Generally dinuguan uses offal as base proteins, but My ChokDee uses different parts of pork. The stew is meant to be enjoyed with puto — get your head out of the gutter — a Filipino steamed rice cake that is light, fluffy and subtly sweet. Lechon Kawali (Fried Pork Belly)• Lechon kawali is a type of lechon (pork) that is made from pork belly. The meat is fried in pieces about 4-inches long, and goes well with Mang Tomas — a bottled sweet and sour sauce popular for eating with roast pig. Kare Kare • The consistent base of kare kare stew is a savory and mildly sweet peanut sauce, which is the overarching flavor of the stewed eggplant, bok choy and beef dish. Traditionally kare kare is served with bagoóng alamáng (shrimp paste), which adds a salty element highlighting the stewed beef. My ChockDee puts all of their condiments in one spot (the location varies depending on the day of the week, but it’ll be easy to spot) including the bagoóng. Again, eat it all over rice. Tocino (Sweet Cured Pork)• Most popular at breakfast alongside fried rice and an egg (this combo is called tosilog), tocino is like a sweet thick-cut pork belly bacon. It

doesn’t need a sauce, but raw tomatoes and onions are a nice accompaniment when available. Longanisa (Sweet Pork Sausage)• Forget everything you know about Spanish style cured longanisa — the Filipino version consists of tiny, extremely sweet links that have a garlicky undertone. The bright red sausages are easy to spot on a buffet and are popular at breakfast. Galunggong (Mackerel Scad)• Usually made by frying, galunggong is prepared simply. The fish is gutted, scaled, and salted then fried whole. Dip the crispy fish into chile-marinated vinegar (found with the condiments) for a delicious umami experience. Lumpia (Filipino Spring Rolls)• The most common type of lumpia are deep fried. Reminiscent of other Asian spring roll variations like egg rolls, My ChockDee’s lumpia are rolled thin crepes filled with pork, carrots, onion and garlic. Lumpia goes well with many sauces. Look for Jufran banana ketchup or Mang Tomas, a sweet sauce blended with breadcrumbs, if you like sweet and sour dipping sauces. Cassava Cake • The cake is moist, almost wet and pudding-like in texture with springiness like flan, another popular dessert in the Philippines. While some recipes call for cheddar cheese on top of the cake, My ChokDee’s omits the cheddar and instead folds chunks of coconut into the batter. Overall, the cake is moist, sweet and rich. If you choose to grab any groceries or treats from the market area, the cashier will be happy to ring it up along with your meal. 115 E. Lindbergh Blvd., Universal City, (210) 566-2210. sacurrent.com • May 10-16, 2017 • CURRENT 37

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I tend to think of rosé as the hefeweizen of wine. It’s easy to drink, it doesn’t offend the senses, it defi nitely won’t break the bank and it has the potential for subtle but tasty notes. And although I’ve been known to drink rosé during the heart of South Texas winter, summer is really the ideal season to throw back a bottle or two. But summer also means river outings and poolside hangs where big, beautiful bottles of glass are usually frowned upon. Enter canned rosé. Canned wines have had a place in the market for the past several years, but the pink stuff started gracing shelves in 2016. Much like beer, the aluminum cans help keep the wine from sunlight (not that you’ll be cellaring these teensy cans, rosé isn’t that kind of wine). Bonus: they’re recyclable, lightweight and have a higher alcohol content by volume. It’s still relatively hard to find canned rosé in SA, but we hit up a few notable shops to score our bundles. Here’s what we found.

Testing canned rosé as tubing season nears

Taste Test // Infi nite Monkey Theorem began in 2008 when winemaker Ben Parsons opened a back alley warehouse in which to make his wares. With “no vineyard…and no pretense,” the wines are easy drinking and available in bottles or cans. The rosé in this case was our panel’s favorite. Described as a “bowl of fresh summer berries drizzled with cream” the IMT was more bodied than the others, leaned dry with just the slightest hint of sugar and packed in the berry notes. The cans are also slightly bigger than the rest and total eight cups when added together. Perfect for sipping along the Guadalupe.

Bollicini

Size // 4 187-milliliter cans, essentially a big pour Price // $10.99 at Central Market Taste Test // Here’s what we know based on this wine’s can: it’s a sparkling rosé, it’s Italian, and it’s a product of Italy. Oh, and it’s 11 percent ABV. The Bollicini and Presto (from Whole Foods Market) are basically identical down to the price. Aesthetically, the only thing that sets them apart is a different pink hue and a name. Bollicine translates to bubble, as Size // 4 250-milliliter cans, roughly two pours per can noted by the silver dots on the can. But while the Price // $14.99 at Whole Foods cans might be entirely too similar, the Bollicini is

Inﬁnite Monkey Theorem Rosé Wine

darker, less sweet and defi nitely more layered. Let it sit a few minutes after cracking the can open. Take it with you for your next nail appointment.

Presto

Size // 4 187-milliliter cans Price // $10.99 from Whole Foods Market Taste Test // Fizzy and sweet, perfect for the Moscato lovers out there looking to dip a toe into the rosé pool. Again, we don’t know much about this wine other than it’s perfect for the pool or for mixing with more booze. It made for a fun mimosa on a recent Sunday morning, but could also be mixed with Aperol and club soda for a modifi ed spritz.

Simpler Wines Brand

Size // 4 187-milliliter cans Price // $3.99 from Trader Joe’s Taste Test // Listen, for $4, we weren’t asking for a whole lot from this wine in a can. That said, the results were pleasant and extra fi zzy from this Italian offering. The bubbles from this number were slightly larger, but fl attened as time passed. Still, it did have a crispness that would help cut through rich foods during Memorial Day barbecues.

sacurrent.com • May 10-16, 2017 • CURRENT 39

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Boston is far more than just a band. Lead guitarist Tom Scholz is famous not only for being the lead guitarist of a legendary American rock group, but also for his inventions and contributions to music. Brad Delp, original lead singer, can reach the high-notes of a screeching guitar riff. Curly Smith has worked with an incredible number of rock artists. Basically, Boston is kind of a collection of musical prodigies. After recording several demo tracks in the ‘70s, Boston brought their music to the mainstream. The band’s 1976 self-titled debut album is still one of the highest grossing debut rock albums in U.S. history, with over 17 million copies sold. With a catalogue of hits like “More Than a Feeling”, “Amanda”, and “Don’t Look Back” spanning decades, Boston is a band that refuses to go out of style. Today, the band is fronted by lead singer Tom DeCarlo (former Boston cover singer). Scholz, Smith, DeCarlo and the rest of Boston come to San Antonio as one stop on their national Hyper Space tour. The Alamo City’s Majestic Theatre invites rock lovers to “close their eyes, and slip away” to the sounds of one of the greatest bands to a grace the genre. $50-126, 8pm, Majestic Theatre, 224 E Houston, (210) 226-5700, majesticempire.com. — Kimberly Rivera WED

If you’re at all like us, you might feel the need to respond to someone CALLIOPE MUSICALS saying, “Oh this band’s from Austin, check it out” with an immediate 12 eye-roll or an audible “Who gives a fuck.” That’s because perpetuating the tired notion that just because you’re based out

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of [insert random city here] automatically makes you sound good is lame and basic. AF. Still, that doesn’t change the fact that there are some pretty amazing bands that call 512 home – like Calliope Musicals, which was recently named “Band Of The Year” at the Austin Music Awards. San Antonians might remember the band, which played a killer set at the Arneson River Theatre during this year’s Maverick Music Festival. The six-piece indie rock group makes music reminiscent of School House Rock ...but like, on acid. It’s a sound that feels familiar yet wild, and the band’s live show is not to be missed. Also on this week’s bill is another ATX group, Sphynx, which features traces of Daft Punk in their danceable indie pop sound. With Wayne Holtz, 9pm, $5-$8, 502 Bar, 502 Embassy Oak. — Chris Conde

CURSUS ALBUM RELEASE SAARINENS On Friday, Saarinens, a local indie rock/power pop group led by singersongwriter Michael Chapa (formerly of Whiskey Ships), will celebrate the release of its second recorded effort to date, and first since 2015’s debut Modern World. The new EP, which is called Animal, follows along right where Modern World left off, with excellent, nuanced songwriting, instrumental prowess aplenty (though never flashy), and a vague Pavement meets Yo La Tengo meets Wilco meets South Texas vibe. The Saarinens are a kind of low key Saytown supergroup, featuring, in collaboration with Chapa, the estimable Raul Alvarez (Cartographers, Slomo Drags) on guitar, keys, and backing vocals, Darren Kuper (The Jazz Protagonists, King Pelican) on drums, Brant Sankey (producer for The Please Help and more) on guitar, and Geoff Gilkes on bass, keys, and vocals. To boot, the EP features some terrific, surreal album art by constantly brilliant local artist/musician/writer/educator Hills Snyder. As if you needed more reason to check out the show, Period Modern (a retro furniture store) is a swell environment for an intimate concert, plus, White Elefant will open. $10.00 (suggested donation), 7:30pm, Period Modern, 4347 McCullough Ave, (210) 902-1217, periodmodern.com. — James Courtney FRI

If super-slow distorted guitar riffing, growling vocals and drums that sound like a building implosion is what you’re into, then welcome to Cursus. For those unfamiliar with the extreme-metal sub-genre, it’s pretty easy to guess what something labeled doom metal or sludge or “funeral doom” sounds like: dark, heavy and sloooooow. In 2013, guitar and vocalist C.J. Duron and drummer Sarah Ann Roork started writing their early Sabbathand Eyehategod-inspired blend of down-tuned, down tempo metal. A few months later the duo (who have been a couple for about 8 years) FRI

released their Summer Solstice Demo, which was well received in the regional metal and DIY music community. “We’re not trying to sound like what we’ve heard over and over, but there are definitely some elements of [music] we grew up with that are embedded in what we do,” Duron told the Current. The band’s eponymously named debut is already available online through the Houston-based label Artificial Head and the band has plans to tour after the album release show. With Percocet, Toluca & Grupo Frackaso, 9pm, $5- Limelight, 2718 N. St. Mary’s St. — CC

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CHEVELLE I sold a pair of Vans to Chevelle frontman Peter Loeffler at a skate shop in North Star mall in 2010. He was checking out the wall of shoes we had on display as he passed the front of the entrance and, long story short, he comes in the shop and cops a pair of Vans. Long before shopping for kicks with record label money, however, Loeffler and his brothers Joe and Sam formed their three piece alt-rock/nu-metal group in the mid-’90s in Illinois, just outside of Chicago. The band released a demo, jumped on the Christian label Squint and eventually released the album Point #1 which garnered attention from the Christian music community. SAT

LA SANTA CECILIA La Santa Cecilia loves San Antonio. To be sure, I have no concrete evidence to support this statement, but consider the fact that the Grammy-award winning banda panmericana has played here frequently amid its rapid rise to stardom (at least in the Western hemisphere). What’s more, the kinetic and consistently life-affirming outfit, which is actually from Los Angeles, shares San Anto’s multicultural makeup, presenting, over the course of six albums in eight years, a radical mish-mash of culture in sonic form: from cumbia to rockabilly, from bossa nova to bolero, from Mexican folk to Mariachi, from rock and blues to Rancheras and jazz. And, that’s not all: the six-piece has decided to play Paper Tiger on the date of the release of its new visual album Amar y Vivir, which, recorded live over a wild five days, finds the group on location in Mexico City, dancing, singing, and playing through, and deep into, the heart of the city. To what do we owe this devotion? No me importa. Let’s just make sure we show up to say thanks. $20.00, 8:00pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N St Mary’s St, papertigersa.com. — JC FRI

Their second debut Wonder What’s Next however, which was released through Epic records, solidified their place in the alternative rock community and helped the band transition from their religious roots to secular rock arenas. Since then, the group has continued to write their heavily Tool-influenced alternative rock, release albums, and buy shoes from malls. On tour continuing their support of their latest release The North Corridor, Chevelle proves that sticking to the sound that got them big in the first place hasn’t been the worst idea. With Aeges, 7:30pm, $29.50-$55.00, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St. — CC

RALPH ARVESON // WIKIMEDIA COMMONS

HAMMERFALL Few genres evoke the imagery of viking armies setting fire to their enemies with flaming arrows like that of symphonic power metal – especially played by bands that hail from Sweden. Composed of members from metal acts like In Flames, Ceremonial Oath and Dark Tranquility, Sweden’s Hammerfall formed in the early 1990s and are just about as epic as epic heavy metal can get. Singer Joacim Cans wails over Oscar Dronjak’s technical melodic riffs for a blend of metal that would be the perfect soundtrack for setting a castle on fire in the 16th Century (or riding around Loop 1604 or whatever). Basically, Hammerfall is the perfect excuse to wear armor and get crazy at a metal show. Chances are you probably won’t be the only one to do so. With Delain, 8pm, $31-$76, Alamo City Music Hall, 1305 E. Houston St. — CC SUN

FRANKIE VALLI

Frankie Valli is an American treasure. Seriously. Aside from possessing one of the most penetratingly beautiful falsettos in the history of pop music and having recorded some of the most iconic songs of the last great American century, the now 84-year old Valli, who proudly reps Newark, makes it easier to forgive New Jersey for the likes of Snooki, or even Bon Jovi for that matter. The man who brought you “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” “Walk like a Man,” “Sherry,” and “Rag Doll” (just to name a few), and was recently immortalized in film with Clint Eastwood’s adaptation of Jersey Boys, is still at it after all these years. Don’t miss the chance to see how well the icon is holding up, as he brings the latest incarnation of his group The Four Seasons to town. $45.00-$125.00, 7:30pm, The Majestic, 224 E Houston St, (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — JC SUN

ZZ TOP These dudes from Houston have been rocking long beards well before guys started to wrap their fragile masculinity inside facial hair. Noted for not having a lineup change in 45 years, and being one of the major contributors to roots rock and blues through the 70s and early 80s, ZZ Top originally formed in 1969 after two members of frontman Billy Gibbon’s band Moving Sidewalks were drafted into the military. Dan Mitchell, who also played in Moving Sidewalks, was replaced early on by Frank Beard and alongside Gibbons and bassist, keyboardist and co-vocalist Dusty Hill, the three have played their blues inspired roots rock through nearly half a century. 8pm, $45-$125, Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St. — CC TUE

sacurrent.com • May 10-16, 2017 • CURRENT 43

MUSIC

MUSIC CALENDAR WEDNESDAY, MAY 10 The Bad Signs Band Punk/goth act from Nashville. Free. The Amp Room, 9pm Ken Slavin Jazz crooner Ken Slavin. $12-$40. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm Primetime Jazz Orchestra John Magaldi’s Primetime Jazz Orchestra.Free. The Cove, 8-10pm Side by Side César Franck’s Symphony in D minor, as the San Antonio Symphony joins the YOSA Philharmonic. Conducted by San Antonio Symphony Music Director Sebastian Lang-Lessing. $5. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm Tom Gillam and the Kosmic Messengers Acoustic folk rock act. Free. Gruene Hall, 6-10pm THURSDAY, MAY 11 Adrian Ruiz Jazz act Adrian Ruiz performs at Luna. $5. Luna, 9:30pm The Chainsmokers DJ duo The Chainsmokers are joined by Kiiara, Kyle and Emily Warren. $69.50-$93.50. Freeman Coliseum, 7pm Evergrey Swedish progressive metal band, joined by Seven Kingdoms, Need, Ascendia, and Fulcrum Lake. $20-$50. The Rock Box, 7pm Garrett Lebeau R&B/soul artist. Free. Gruene Hall, 6-10pm Scott Miller Scott Miller, formerly of Knoxville based band The V-Roys, is joined by Bonnie Whitmore. $12-$45. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm Shady Rest Band Americana band from San Marcos. Free. The Phoenix Saloon, 9pm Zed, Wasted Theory Stoner rock band from San Jose, joined by Wasted Theory. $5. Limelight, 9pm FRIDAY, MAY 12 Aaron Lewis Country artist Aaron Lewis (lead vocalist of Staind) is joined by singer/ songwriters Alex Williams and Travis Marvin. $25-$400. John T Floore’s Country Store, 8:30pm

Blackbird Sing Local folk rock band, joined by HalleyAnna. Free. The Phoenix Saloon, 9pm Bru’s Tunes Live Acoustic performance by Bru’s Tunes. Free. Fair Oaks Ranch Golf and Country Club, 6-9pm Bustin Loose Every second Friday, The Mix plays soul, disco and funk. Free. The Mix, 11pm Dan West Open, unplugged acoustic circle. Free. Luckenbach Dance Hall, 4pm Eric Tessmer Band Blues/soul act from Austin, joined by Elijah Zane. $10-$45. Sam’s Burger Joint, 9pm Friday Afternoon Picker Circle with Hayden Whittington Unplugged, acoustic circle. Free. Luckenbach Dance Hall, 1pm John Osborne Farley Original acoustic and electric music. Free. Casbeer’s, 7-10pm King Lil G Rapper from south Los Angeles plays on his Blessed by God tour. $20. Alamo City Music Hall & Club, 8pm La Santa Cecilia Grammy Award winning act from Los Angeles plays a combination of cumbia, jazz and rock. They are joined by Micka. $20. Paper Tiger, 8pm Mamalarky Austin act joined by local garage pop band Islands & Tigers, Sons of Sancho, and Alpine Aster. $5. Imagine Books and Records, 8-11:45pm The Midnight Stroll Post-punk act The Midnight Stroll. $10. Paper Tiger, 9pm Miguel Bosé Spanish musician and actor. $63.75-$179.25. The Majestic Theatre, 8:30pm Myths Abound The Chamber Orchestra of San Antonio will feature its first concerto for piano and orchestra in a concert, Myths Abound. $10-$49. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm Serenata Para Las Madres ft. Steeven Sandoval & Mariachi Azteca de America Steeven Sandoval’s first formal San Antonio concert as a featured headliner. Accompanied by Mariachi Azteca de América, directed by Gino Rivera. $25-$85. Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 7:30pm

Amnion Indie rock bands Amnion, Above My Enemy and Pussy Factory perform. Free. The Amp Room, 9pm

Susan Graham: An American in Paris Grammy Award-winner Susan Graham will perform selections from French operetta and American musical theatre. $15-$96. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm

Anchor Babies Metal bands Eden Burning, Seance, Anchor Babies and War On Sunday. $5-$8. Bond’s 007 Rock Bar, 8pm

Union 13 Punk band from East Los Angeles, joined by Knockin’ Bones, F.T.P., Signalman, Dead Weight. $5. The Korova, 8pm

Andrea Dawson R&B act at Luna. $10. Luna, 9:30pm

West Kings Highway Friday Night Residency at Sancho’s. Free. Sancho’s Cantina, 7-9pm

CURRENT • May 10-16, 2017 • sacurrent.com

White Denim Rock act from Austin plays in support of their latest release, Stiff. Joined by Robert Ellis. Free. Gruene Hall, 8pm SATURDAY, MAY 13 The 5 Browns Classical piano quintet. $29-$99. Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 7:30pm Bright Like the Sun Local ambient post rock band, joined by local acts Levees, Verisimilitude, and Dance Like Robots. $7-$10. Limelight, 9pm Dennis Quaid and the Sharks Rock act joined by The Peterson Brothers. Sold Out. Gruene Hall, 9pm Donovan Keith and the Funky Heat R&B/soul act from Austin. $10. Luna, 9:30pm Hijo de Puta Joined by local metal acts IsoLayDead, Whiskey Ignition, King Earth and more. $6. Zombies, 8pm King George George Strait tribute band. $10. Luckenbach Dance Hall, 8pm Macho Peach Local pop rock band is joined by Rivers Want and St. Dukes. $5-$8. Ventura, 6-11pm Myths Abound The Chamber Orchestra of San Antonio. $10-$49. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm Promenade Sentimentale From waltz to tango with swing and Bossa Nova. $30-$35. Cave Without A Name, 7-9pm Remanon Local “space/fusion” act joined by Transit Method, and Shapes. Free. The Mix, 9pm Rock Bottom String Band San Marcos act joined by “DIY Folk punk” band Pickles, and Cardboard $igns. $5. Imagine Books and Records, 8-11pm The Roosevelts Americana/indie-rock act play music from their debut album “The Greatest Thing You’ll Ever Learn.” $8-$12. 502 Bar, 9pm Stomp Out Cancer Fest Performances by Seventh Son, Jessikill, Even in Death and others. $10-$12. Fitzgerald’s Bar & Live Music, noon Sunny Sweeney Country artist joined by Marcy Grace. $12-$45. Sam’s Burger Joint, 9pm Susan Graham: An American in Paris Grammy Award-winner Susan Graham will perform selections from French operetta and American musical theatre. $15-$96. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm Turnpike Troubadours “Red dirt” country act from Oklahoma, joined by John Fullbright and Charley Crockett. $20-$25. John T

Floore’s Country Store, 9 p.m. SUNDAY, MAY 14 Coco Montoya Blues guitarist and singer (formerly of John Mayall & the Bluesbreakers) $15-$60. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8pm Folk Family Revival Rock band from Magnolia, TX, is joined by Watching for Foxes. $8-$10. Jack’s Bar, 7-10pm Kiefer Sutherland Famed actor and country artist Kiefer Sutherland will be performing at Gruene Hall. Sold Out. Gruene Hall, 7pm Witchaven Black metal band from Los Angeles, joined by Death Blow, Steel Bearing Hand, and Aggravator. $7. Limelight, 9pm MONDAY, MAY 15 Adam Johnson Band Blues act. Free. Gruene Hall, 6-10pm Jesus Piece Hardcore metal band from Philadelphia, joined by Malice at the Palace and Bind. $10-$12. The Korova, 7pm Laser Background Philadelphia band joined by local acts Ellis Redon and Whatever? $3-$5. Limelight, 9pm Meat and Metal Mondays Zombies Bar hosts a metal night while serving meat and drink specials. Free. Zombies, 5pm Swing Nite with Johnny P. and the Wiseguys Local jazz and swing band Johnny P and the Wiseguys perform at Swing Night at Sam’s Burger Joint. $9-$10. Sam’s Burger Joint, 8:30pm Under the Ligurian Sun, Part II A sneak peek of the repertoire of great American chamber music the ensemble is planning on taking on their first international tour to Europe. $10-$25. Jazz, TX, 7-9:30pm TUESDAY, MAY 16 Jazz on the Rocks Live jazz and happy hour specials. Free. St. Anthony Hotel, 5-7pm Josh Grider Singer/songwriter joined by Zach Walther and Geoffrey Hill. Free. Gruene Hall, 6-10pm The Lineup Tuesday night dance party featuring DJ Free Verse. Limelight, 9pm The Planets, Live Performed by the Youth Orchestras of San Antonio, with visual accompaniment. $5-$32. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 8pm Under the Ligurian Sun, Part II A sneak peek of the repertoire of great American chamber music the ensemble is planning on taking on their first international tour to Europe. $10-$25. Ruth Taylor Recital Hall, 7-9:30pm

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ETC.

TRAPS > My husband is nearly 20 years older than me, which was never an issue early in our relationship. However, for approximately the last eight years, we have not been able to have fulfilling sex because my husband can’t keep an erection for more than a few thrusts. I love my husband and I am committed to our family, but I miss full PIV sex. I’m still fairly young and I enjoy sex, but I feel like I am mourning the death of my sex life. I miss the intimate connection and powerful feeling of sex with a man. My husband tries to please me, but oral sex is just okay and toys don’t have the same effect. We have tried Viagra a few times, but it gave him a terrible headache. I try to brush it off because I don’t want to embarrass him. I am curious about casual relationships, but I fear they wouldn’t stay casual. Also, I would feel guilty being with another man even though my husband said I could do it one time. On one hand, I feel like I should be able to have a fulfilling sex life. But on the other hand, I don’t want to be a cheater. Now On To Having Awkwardly Realistic Discussions It’s not cheating if you have your husband’s permission, NOTHARD, but fucking another man could still blow up your marriage—even if you manage to keep it casual. Story time: I knew this straight couple. They were good together, they loved each other, and they had a strong sexual connection. (Spoiler alert: my use of the past tense.) The woman was all about monogamy, but her boyfriend had always wanted to have a threesome. She didn’t want to be the reason he never got to do something he’d been fantasizing about since age 13, so she told her boyfriend that if the opportunity ever presented itself, he could go for it. So long as the sex was safe and he was honest with her, he could have a threesome one time. The opportunity presented itself, the sex was safe, he was honest—and my friend spent a week ricocheting between devastated and furious before

SAVAGE LOVE by Dan Savage

finally dumping her devastated and flummoxed boyfriend. During a drunken postmortem, my friend told me she wanted her boyfriend to be able to do it but didn’t want him to actually do it. She didn’t want to be the reason he couldn’t; she wanted to be the reason he didn’t. So her permission to have a threesome “one time” was a test (one he didn’t know he was taking) and a trap (one he couldn’t escape from). I urged my friend to take her boyfriend back—if he would have her—but he’d touched another woman with the tip of his penis (two women, actually), which meant he didn’t love her the way she thought he did, the way she deserved to be loved, etc., and consequently he couldn’t be allowed to touch her with the tip of his penis ever again. Back to you, NOTHARD: My first reaction to your letter was “You’ve got your husband’s okay to fuck some other dude—go for it.” Then I reread your letter and thought, “Wait, this could be a test and a trap.” You say you’ve brushed off the issue to spare your husband’s feelings, but he may sense it’s an issue and, consciously or subconsciously, this is his way of finding out. If you take him up on his offer “one time,” and you make the mistake of being honest with him about it, he may be just as devastated as my friend was. So don’t take your husband up on his offer—not yet. Have a few more conversations about your sex life instead and address nonmonogamy/openness generally, not nonmonogamy/openness as a work-around for his dick. There may be some solo adventures he’d like to have, there may be invigorating new sexual adventures you could enjoy as a couple (maybe he’d love to go down on two women at once?), or he may rescind or restate his offer to let you fuck some other dude one time. Get clarity—crystal clarity—before proceeding. Finally, NOTHARD, there are other erectile dysfunction drugs out there, drugs that may not have the same side effects for your husband. And low to very low doses of Viagra—doses less likely to induce a headache—are effective for some men. Good luck.

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Answer on page 27

“Freedonia”--just another themeless jam. ACROSS

1 Contrary to 8 Bear or hare, e.g. 14 Having divisions 15 Meadow Soprano’s mom 16 Big-name celeb 17 Quechua dish served in corn husks 18 Adult Swim programming block 19 They create spots, slangily 20 Bone, in Italian dishes 21 Andy’s sitcom boy 22 Mail submission accompaniment, briefl y 23 Flavor in the juice aisle 27 Dutch scientist for whom an astronomical “cloud” is named 28 1998 British Open winner Mark 29 “All-American” Rockne 30 In a shadowy way 33 Person pulling out 35 Hero of “Cold Mountain” 36 Beer belly 38 Light horse-drawn carriage 39 Place to belt and belt 43 G, in the key of C 44 Benedict of “The A-Team” 45 Top pick

46 Unable to follow up with action, it’s said 48 Displayed derision 51 Napoleon’s hat, e.g. 52 Moderately sweet, as champagne 53 More like a sieve 54 Sashimi staple 55 Going to the post office, e.g. 56 Compilation album series with cleaned-up lyrics

DOWN

1 Director of “The 40-Year-Old Virgin” 2 Half of a rainy-day pair 3 Melodic passages 4 “Objection!” 5 1920s leading lady ___ Naldi 6 Place for a wine charm 7 Actress Hatcher 8 2017 Irish-Canadian film with Sally Hawkins and Ethan Hawke 9 French military force 10 2009, in the credits 11 Apportions 12 Individually, on a menu 13 Pixar Chief Creative Officer John 15 Westchester County town

where the Clintons have lived since 1999 21 Paddle kin 24 Key of Dvorak’s “New World” Symphony (abbr.) 25 Pomade relative 26 Singer of the movie theme song that hit #1 on August 11, 1984 27 Busted 29 It comes with a high proof 30 Ripe for the insulting 31 More wicked 32 Division for Road & Track, maybe 34 Skip-Bo relative 37 Double-occupancy ship? 39 Baked in an oven, like bricks 40 Name for Bruce Wayne’s underwater vehicle 41 Nivea competitor 42 Railroad station porter 44 “Beyond the Sea” subject Bobby 47 Plum variety also called bubblegum plum 48 Badlands Natl. Park site 49 Nostalgic soft drink brand 50 Actor/comedian Djalili of “The Mummy”

ETC.

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): The process by which Zoo Jeans are manufactured is unusual. First, workers wrap and secure sheets of denim around car tires or big rubber balls, and take their raw creations to the Kamine Zoo in Hitachi City, Japan. There the denim-swaddled objects are thrown into pits where tigers or lions live. As the beasts roughhouse with their toys, they rip holes in the cloth. Later, the material is retrieved and used to sew the jeans. Might this story prove inspirational for you in the coming weeks? I suspect it will. Here’s one possibility: You could arrange for something wild to play a role in shaping an influence you will have an intimate connection with. TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): “Kiss the flame and it is yours,” teased the poet Thomas Lux. What do you think he was hinting at? It’s a metaphorical statement, of course. You wouldn’t want to literally thrust your lips and tongue into a fire. But according to my reading of the astrological omens, you might benefit from exploring its meanings. Where to begin? May I suggest you visualize making out with the steady burn at the top of a candle? My sources tell me that doing so at this particular moment in your evolution will help kindle a new source of heat and light in your deep self -- a fresh fount of glowing power that will burn sweet and strong like a miniature sun. GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): Your symbol of power during the next three weeks is a key. Visualize it. What picture pops into your imagination? Is it a bejeweled golden key like what might be used to access an old treasure chest? Is it a rustic key for a garden gate or an oversized key for an ornate door? Is it a more modern thing that locks and unlocks car doors with radio waves? Whatever you choose, Gemini, I suggest you enshrine it in as an inspirational image in the back of your mind. Just assume that it will subtly inspire and empower you to find the metaphorical “door” that leads to the next chapter of your life story. CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): You are free to reveal yourself in your full glory. For once in your life, you have cosmic clearance to ask for everything you want without apology. This is the LATER you have been saving yourself for. Here comes the reward for the hard work you’ve been doing that no one has completely appreciated. If the universe has any prohibitions or inhibitions to impose, I don’t know what they are. If old karma has been preventing the influx of special dispensations and helpful X-factors, I suspect that old karma has at least temporarily been neutralized.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): “I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions,” said Irish writer Oscar Wilde. “I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.” In my opinion, that may be one of the most radical vows ever formulated. Is it even possible for us human beings to gracefully manage our unruly flow of feelings? What you do in the coming weeks could provide evidence that the answer to that question might be yes. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you are now in a position to learn more about this high art than ever before.

Sagittarius? Just because a chicken has wings doesn’t mean it can fly over the rainbow. Catch my drift? You’ll never create a silk purse out of dental floss and dead leaves. That’s why I offer you the following advice: In the next two weeks, do your best to avoid paper tigers, red herrings, fool’s gold, fake news, Trojan horses, straw men, pink elephants, convincing pretenders, and invisible bridges. There’ll be a reward if you do: close encounters with shockingly beautiful honesty and authenticity that will be among your most useful blessings of 2017.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): Africa’s highest mountain is Mount Kilimanjaro. Though it’s near the equator, its peak is covered year-round with glaciers. In 2001, scientists predicted that global warming would melt them all by 2015. But that hasn’t happened. The ice cap is still receding slowly. It could endure for a while, even though it will eventually disappear. Let’s borrow this scenario as a metaphor for your use, Virgo. First, consider the possibility that a certain thaw in your personal sphere isn’t unfolding as quickly as you anticipated. Second, ruminate on the likelihood that it will, however, ultimately come to pass. Third, adjust your plans accordingly.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19): Of all the signs of the zodiac, you Capricorns are the least likely to believe in mythical utopias like Camelot or El Dorado or Shambhala. You tend to be uber-skeptical about the existence of legendary vanished riches like the last Russian czar’s Fabergé eggs or King John’s crown jewels. And yet if wonderlands and treasures like those really do exist, I’m betting that some may soon be discovered by Capricorn explorers. Are there unaccountedfor masterpieces by Georgia O’Keeffe buried in a basement somewhere? Is the score of a lost Mozart symphony tucked away in a seedy antique store? I predict that your tribe will specialize in unearthing forgotten valuables, homing in on secret miracles, and locating missing mother lodes.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): Will sex be humdrum and predictable in the coming weeks? No! On the contrary. Your interest in wandering out to the frontiers of erotic play could rise quite high. You may be animated and experimental in your approach to intimate communion, whether it’s with another person or with yourself. Need any suggestions? Check out the “butterflies-in-flight” position or the “spinning wheel of roses” maneuver. Try the “humand-chuckle kissing dare” or the “churning radiance while riding the rain cloud” move. Or just invent your own variations and give them funny names that add to the adventure.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): According to my lyrical analysis of the astrological omens, here are examples of the kinds of experiences you might encounter in the next 21 days: 1. interludes that reawaken memories of the first time you fell in love; 2. people who act like helpful, moon-drunk angels just in the nick of time; 3. healing music or provocative art that stirs a secret part of you -- a sweet spot you had barely been aware of; 4. an urge arising in your curious heart to speak the words, “I invite lost and exiled beauty back into my life.” PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): Ex-baseball player Eric DuBose was pulled over by Florida cops who spotted him driving his car erratically. They required him to submit to a few tests, hoping to determine whether he had consumed too much alcohol. “Can you recite the alphabet?” they asked. “I’m from the great state of Alabama,” DuBose replied, “and they have a different alphabet there.” I suggest, Pisces, that you try similar gambits whenever you find yourself in odd interludes or tricky transitions during the coming days -- which I suspect will happen more than usual. Answer the questions you want to answer rather than the ones you’re asked, for example. Make jokes that change the subject. Use the powers of distraction and postponement. You’ll need extra slack, so seize it!

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): Right now the word “simplicity” is irrelevant. You’ve got silky profundities to play with, slippery complications to relish, and lyrical labyrinths to wander around in. I hope you use these opportunities to tap into more of your subterranean powers. From what I can discern, your deep dark intelligence is ready to provide you with a host of fresh clues about who you really are and where you need to go. P.S.: You can become better friends with the shadows without compromising your relationship to the light. SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21): You can bake your shoes in the oven at 350 degrees for 40 minutes, but that won’t turn them into loaves of bread. Know what I’m saying, sacurrent.com • May 10-16, 2017 • CURRENT 49

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