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ROASTING COMIC LARRY GARZA | HANDS DOWN'S ART AND COCKTAILS | ADA VOX RAISES HER VOICE AGAIN DEC. 15 - DEC. 28, 2021

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Everyone ages 5 and up is eligible for the COVID-19 vaccine. Talk to your pediatrician about the COVID-19 Vaccine. If you don’t have a pediatrician you may visit a Metro Health pop-up clinic. covid19.sanantonio.gov #DoItForSA 4

CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

Call 311 for vaccine information and resources related to COVID-19. SCAN HERE

in this issue San Antonio Current

Issue 21-25 /// December 15 – December 28, 2021

Editor-in-Chief: Sanford Nowlin General Manager: Chelsea Bourque

Editorial

Digital Content Editor: Kelly Nelson Contributing Arts Editor: Bryan Rindfuss Food and Nightlife Writer: Nina Rangel Contributors: Ron Bechtol, Daniel Conrad, Jade Esteban Estrada, Dan R. Goddard, Lance Higdon, Steven G. Kellman, Hannah Lorence, Kiko Martinez, M. Solis, Gary Sweeney, Lea Thompson, Abe Asher, Mackenzie Cook Editorial Interns: Katelyn Earhart, Yukiko Yamazaki

Marketing and Events

Marketing and Events Director: Cassandra Yardeni Events Manager: Chelsea Bourque Account Manager: Nathan Sokul Senior Account Executive: Mike Valdelamar Marketing Interns: Julia Bentley Social Media Manager: Meradith Garcia

Creative Services

Graphic Designer: Samantha Serna Production Interns: Pedro Macias

Circulation

Circulation Manager: Justin Giles

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Chief Executive Officer: Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers: Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP of Digital Services: Stacy Volhein Director of Agency Services: Mindi Overman Digital Operations Coordinator: Jaime Monzon Senior Marketing and Events Director: Cassandra Yardeni www.euclidmediagroup.com National Advertising: Voice Media Group (888) 278-9866, vmgadvertising.com San Antonio Current 915 Dallas San Antonio, Texas 78215 sacurrent.com Editorial: (210) 332-5448 Display Advertising: (210) 332-5448 Classified: (210) 227-CLAS / Fax - (210) 227-7733 The San Antonio Current is published by Euclid Media Group

Fabian Villa

20 Feature

The 100 Best Bars in San Antonio

09 News

The Opener News in Brief

Get listed 1. Visit sacurrent.com 2. Click “Calendar” and then “Submit an Event” 3. Follow the steps to submit your event details Please allow 48 hours for review and approval. Event submissions are not accepted by phone. Copyright: The entire contents of the San Antonio Current are copyright 2019 by Euclid Media Group LLC. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. Publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed above. Subscriptions: Additional copies or back issues may be purchased at the Current offices for $1. Six-month domestic subscriptions may be purchased for $75; one-year subscriptions for $125.

Watching in a Winter Movieland

There are plenty of films to choose from this 2021 holiday season

Verified Audit Member San Antonio Distribution – The Current is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader.

19 Screens

11 Calendar Calendar Picks

ROASTING COMIC LARRY GARZA | HANDS DOWN'S ART AND COCKTAILS | ADA VOX RAISES HER VOICE AGAIN DEC. 15 - DEC. 28, 2021

20 Food

Martini Madness

15 Arts

Die Laughing

San Antonio comedian Larry Garza headlines roast, living memorial in his honor

Creative Exchange

Weird wine, unique cocktails and local art will be on the menu at Hands Down

Turns out, making the perfect one is a lot of work

Texas whiskeys star in these warming winter cocktails

39 Music Idol Breaker

Singing San Antonio drag performer Ada Vox makes the jump to new reality series Queen of the Universe

Music Listings

n the Cover: A cocktail is served up at Southtown nightspot Amor Eterno, one of the 100 Best Bars in San Antonio 2021. Photo: Fabian Villa. Cover design: Pedro Macias.

CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

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CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

Northeast ISD has pulled more than 400 books from its shelves for review after Texas Rep. Matt Krause demanded that school districts reveal whether they own copies of books that discuss race, gender, and sexuality. A petition signed by more than 1,000 people said Black and LGBTQ+ students are “appalled and hurt” by NEISD’s decision to comply with the Republican lawmaker.

U.S. Rep Dan Crenshaw, R-Texas, caused a stir last week when he told a gathering that the conservatives have “grifters in our mix.” Specifically, he called out members of the far-right Freedom Caucus as “performance artists” who accomplished little during Donald Trump’s presidency.

Houston’s Pappas Restaurants empire sent a cease-and-desist letter to the owner of Papa’s Burgers, demanding that the owner of two renowned San Antonio burger spots “immediately transition away” from its longtime name. Papa’s Burgers doesn’t have any Houston locations. The U.S. Justice Department has sued Texas again, arguing that the state’s redistricting process violated the Voting Rights Act by discriminating against Latinos and other communities of color to maximize the voting power of white Texans. Despite the fact that 95 percent of growth in Texas in the past 10 years came from BIPOC communities, the state legislature reduced the number of Latino-majority state legislative districts from 33 to 30 and drew two new majority-white U.S. congressional districts. — Abe Asher

YOU SAID IT!

“Today is day 101 of Texans being denied their basic right to essential abortion care. Texans deserve better than this.” — A tweet from Amy Hagstrom Miller,

president and CEO of Whole Woman’s Health after the U.S. Supreme Court ruling that it will allow Texas’ near-total abortion ban to stay in place while it considers the case.

ASSCLOWN ALERT

Self-Help with Capitol Insurrectionist Jenna Ryan Assclown Alert is a column of opinion, analysis and snark. Remember Jenna Ryan, the charming North Texas real estate agent who bragged that her blonde hair and white skin would keep her out of jail for participating in the deadly Jan. 6 insurrection? You may recall that prediction didn’t exactly hold water. Last month, a Washington D.C. federal judge sentenced Ryan, 50, to two months behind bars for taking part in “an assault on our democracy.” Now, as first reported by the Dallas Observer, Ryan is doing what any high-profile prisoner does: she’s announcing that she has a book deal in the works. Those waiting for Ryan to acknowledge the error of her ways or offer philosophical reflections on her choices are likely to be disappointed. From the sounds she’s making on social media, her forthcoming tome isn’t exactly Soul on Ice.

news

That Rocks/That Sucks

Twitter / dotjenna

Ryan’s TikTok clip touting the potential deal was scant on details, other than that she’d signed a contract with a literary agent in Venice, California. However, the Observer unearthed an earlier tweet in which Ryan bragged about writing a self-help book. We’re certainly left scratching our heads over what kind of life-improving advice this assclown is qualified to dispense. But, as the Jan. 6 attack itself illustrates, that may not really matter given a large swath of the U.S. population’s unquenchable appetite for fantasy, conspiracy theories and apocalyptic fiction. — Sanford Nowlin

The U.S. Supreme Court last Friday refused to hear an appeal from the Biden administration challenging Texas’ near-total ban on abortions. However, in a partial victory for abortion advocates, it allowed women’s health clinics to pursue their separate suit to shut down the law. Reproductive rights groups voiced outrage that the law, which has forced women to travel out of state for abortion care, wasn’t halted while the legal challenge proceeds. Bexar County officials want to spend some $6.3 million to handle an explosion in domestic violence cases by hiring 40 new staffers to prosecute abusers and increasing resources to help victims navigate the legal system. The push for greater investment comes after an Express-News investigation showed that Bexar has the highest dismissal rate for family violence cases of any of Texas’ urban counties. Matthew Dowd’s run for lieutenant governor is over. The former George W. Bush strategist turned Democratic candidate dropped out six days before the candidate filing deadline as state Rep. Michelle Beckley and state Democratic Party vice chair Carla Brailey decide whether to enter the race, saying that he “not want to be the one who stands in the way of the greater diversity we need in politics.” Dowd was also being outraised by 2018 nominee Mike Collier. — Abe Asher

Jaime Monzon

Find more news coverage every day at sacurrent.com

DAILY AT 6-9P.M., DEC. 3-23 alamo.edu/pac/wwc

1400 W. Villaret Blvd. San Antonio, TX 78224 alamo.edu/pac

improvtx.com/sanantonio | 618 Nw Loop 410, SaN ANTONIO, TX 78216 | 210•541•8805

DEC 13

DEC 14

DEC 16 DEC 18

DEC 21

DEC 22 DEC 26

DEC 30 JAN 2

Mick Foley

Rosebud Baker

Ari Shaffir

Ben Brainard

Raul Sanchez

Ali Siddiq

CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

SPORTS

SPURS VS. HORNETS During San Antonio’s four-game winning streak that carried over from November, veteran forward Thaddeus Young described his team’s mindset: “That’s what we’ve been working on all season long. When we get a win, just basically trying to have that carry over to the next game, letting that win get thrown out the window. Not forget about it, but throw it out the window, because we have another game coming. That’s always been the case for us all season long, just trying to get to the next game and continuing to have a swing of momentum and a shift towards trying to build a streak.” Following those comments, the youthful Spurs went on to blow out the Trail Blazers in Portland and capture their signature win of the season in San Francisco with a stirring victory against the Warriors. As another four-game West Coast road trip approaches, San Antonio can ill afford to look past the shorthanded Charlotte Hornets on Wednesday night. $10-$1660, 7:30 p.m., AT&T Center, One AT&T Center, (210) 444-5000, attcenter.com, CW35. — M. Solis

calendar

WED | 12.15

Courtesy Photo / Lightwire Theater

SUN | 12.19 TH EATER

A VERY ELECTRIC CHRISTMAS

Not feeling the holiday spirit yet? Lightwire Theater’s dazzling neon puppets tell a one-of-a-kind Christmas story created to awaken hearts. In this eye-popping performance, a young bird named Max gets lost on his journey home and ends up at the North Pole, where he encounters dancing poinsettias, caroling worms and the wicked Rat King. Backed by a soundtrack that includes holiday classics by Mariah Carey and Nat King Cole, you can run into family, friends and a wicked foe with Max and discover the hope of Christmas. This cheerful story aims to captivate the imaginations of children and adults alike. $23-$53, 4 p.m., Freeman Coliseum, 3201 E. Houston St., freemancoliseum.com. — Yukiko Yamazaki Twitter / spurs

THU | 12.16 SAT | 12.18

FRI | 12.17

SAT | 12.18

COMEDY

FILM

FELIPE ESPARZA

THE MIGHTY DUCKS

Like any number of successful comics, Felipe Esparza strad-

Practice your “Flying V” during a free screening of the 1992

Ari Shaffir is the kind of comedian who says dumb shit just

dles the line between comedy and acting. You may know

underdog hockey movie presented by the Rotary Ice Rink,

to get a reaction from people. Luckily, for Shaffir, he doesn’t

him from Netflix’s Gentrified, Adult Swim’s The Eric Andre

Center City Development & Operations Department and

actually have to believe what he says, nor does he actually

Show or NBC’s Superstore. Or maybe you caught his podcast

Slab Cinema. The film stars Emilio Estevez as Gordon Bom-

have to be funny when he says it. Shaffir definitely wasn’t

What’s Up Fool? Hey, it could you checked out his dual-lan-

bay, a Minneapolis lawyer sentenced to community service

trying to expand his fan base early last year when he posted

guage comedy performance on Netflix Bad Decisions/Malas

after being arrested for drunk driving. His punishment is to

COMEDY

ARI SHAFFIR

a message and video on the same day basketball legend

teach a little league hockey team filled with uncoordinated,

Kobe Bryant died in a helicopter crash alongside his 13-year-

misfit kids how to play the sport. In the past 30 or so years,

old daughter Gianna and seven others. “Kobe Bryant died 23

The Mighty Ducks franchise has spawned two feature film

years too late today,” Shaffir wrote. “He got away with rape

sequels, a short-lived animated TV series and a 2021 live-ac-

because all the Hollywood liberals who attack comedy enjoy

tion TV series on Disney+, which welcomed Estevez back to

rooting for the Lakers more than they dislike rape. Big ups to

play his original role. The new series was renewed this year

the hero who forgot to gas up his chopper. I hate the Lakers.

for a second season. However, Estevez won’t be returning for

What a great day.” This past September, Shaffir reflected on

Season 2. Disney didn’t invite him back because reports in-

the tweet while talking to his friend and fellow comedian

dicate he’s not willing to comply with COVID-19 vaccination

Theo Von. “The act itself, that troll, was maybe my best one,”

requirements. You know, the ones that help other people

Shaffir said. “I brought a city to its knees.” What a strange

not to get sick. Nevertheless, the show will go on without

thing to be proud of. $60-$240, 8 p.m. Thursday, 7:30 p.m. and

him. Speaking of celebrities making headlines for the

9:45 p.m. Friday, 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. Saturday, Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805, improvtx.com.

Enkrypt Los Angeles

Decisiones or maybe his 2017 HBO special Translate This. Or

— Kiko Martinez

wrong reasons, the original The Mighty Ducks movie features 10-year-old actor Jussie Smollett in his movie debut. Smollett was recently convicted of five felony charges of disorderly

maybe you’re even thinking back to when he won Last Comic Standing in 2010. Born in Sinaloa, Mexico, Esparza’s family immigrated to California without documents, though it took three tries before they succeeded. Two failed attempts resulted in detention and deportation. His work in comedy, which he aspires to keep relatable to audiences and their lives, began after a trip to rehab in 1994. $32.50-$60, 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m., Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org. — Mike McMahan Courtesy Photo / LOL Comedy Club

Walt Disney Studios

Reminder:

Although live events have returned, the COVID-19 pandemic is still with us. Check with venues to make sure scheduled events are still happening, and please follow all health and safety guidelines.

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All vehicles listed below were impounded by San Antonio Police Dept. and will be sold via Joyrideautos.com or Live in Person to Be Determined

AUTO AUCTION

FEB. 2, 2022 at 3:00P at SAN ANTONIO VEHICLE IMPOUND FACILITY

Registered owners may pick up vehicles by showing proof of ownership and paying all towing and storage fees prior to Auction 3625 Growdon Rd. San Antonio, TX. | 210.881.8440 ID#

YEAR

MAKE

MODEL

VIN#

CHARGES

4303804 4111286 4459064 4621661 4417358 4165891 2985505 3880207 3902999 3925497 4025142 4156287 4234455 4227595 4199181 4329749 4482819 4155615 4480290 4490951 4497914

2000 1999 2000 1999 1900 1995 1900 2000 2000 2000 1900 2000 1900 1900 2000 2012 1900 2012 2021 2018 2004

FORD CHEVROLET TRAILER TRAILER TRAILER HONDA CHEVROLET TRAILER TRAILER OTHER TRAILER TRAILER OTHER OTHER TRAILER OTHER OTHER TAO TAO OTHER OTHER OTHER

F350

BURNT

C-1500

1GCEC19R6XR143884

OTHER

NOT VISIBLE

OTHER

NOT VISIBLE

TRAVEL TRAILER

NOT VISIBLE

MC-SPORT

NOT VISIBLE

$4,784.65 $7,521.05 $3,147.75 $1,403.85 $3,645.70 $6,806.60 $5,810.70 $10,268.80 $10,415.45 $10,140.70 $8,726.75 $6,733.15 $5,847.30 $5,933.90 $3,189.25 $4,706.55 $2,866.30 $6,918.15 $2,837.95 $2,729.70 $2,643.10

C-1500

NO VIN

OTHER

NO VIN

TRAILER

NO VIN

TRAILER

NOT VISIBLE

TRAILER

NO VIN

TRAILER

NOT VISIBLE

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NO VIN

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NOT VISIBLE

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NO VIN

SCOOTER

LUJTCLP44MA606937

MOTORCYCLE

L9NTCBAE0J1015086

TRAILER

NOT VISIBLE

CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

ID# 3945742 4333429 3764727 4437183 3845396 3863654 4238954 3930763 3907108 3726970 3212828 4482876 4370204 4200131 4499446 4504425 4536817 4496686 4454830 3973686

YEAR 2000 2021 1974 2000 2006 1968 1900 2014 2000 2000 1999 1980 2003 2000 1900 2000 2000 2008 1983 1900

MAKE TRAILER ZIEMAN HONDA OTHER OTHER OTHER OTHER FORD OTHER OTHER OTHER OTHER DODGE

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NOT VISIBLE

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NOT VISIBLE

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NOT VISIBLE

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D0M814ACQ10990

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NOT VISIBLE

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NOT VISIBLE

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ACA06D045646

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4YMUL1018FT037969

CARAVAN

1D4GP21353B340223

INTERNATIONAL SEMI / TRACTOR

FREJUS OTHER TRAILER OTHER OTHER OTHER

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4YD123623V 1002021

CHARGES $9,634.25 $4,591.60 $12,645.40 $3,357.55 $19,394.30 $19,614.65 $5,782.35 $10,004.10 $10,350.50 $13,229.95 $19,876.50 $2,816.30 $4,158.60 $30,139.77 $2,671.45 $2,431.50 $4,247.32 $2,489.75 $3,141.05 $9,419.55

FEES ACCRUE DAILY AND ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

calendar

conduct on allegations that he staged a hoax hate

of Derrick White. In a breakthrough campaign,

crime and reported it to authorities. Free, 6:30-8:30

Spurs captain Dejounte Murray continues to play

p.m., Travis Park, 301 E. Travis St., (210) 207-3677,

at an All-Star level. Spurs coach Gregg Popovich

centrosanantonio.org. — KM

complimented his backcourt during the recent win streak. “Derrick is back to being the Derrick White

SUN | 12.19 CLASSICAL MUSIC

SARAH BRIGHTMAN: A CHRISTMAS SYMPHONY Grammy-nominated English soprano and songwrit-

that we all remember, and that’s been a big plus for us, so there’s a lot of good things out on the court,” Popovich told reporters. “DJ [Murray] has continued to do what he’s done the whole season. He played fantastically, so we’re thrilled with it.” $17-$1,909, 6 p.m., AT&T Center, One AT&T Center, (210) 444-5000, attcenter.com, Bally Sports Southwest. — MS

er Sarah Brightman is in the holiday spirit. Famous for her three-octave vocal range, Brightman will take the stage at the Majestic Theatre to perform classic Christmas songs and some of her greatest hits alongside a full orchestra and choir. Brightman got her start on stage back in 1981 when she auditioned for Cats and was cast as the feline character Jemima. The play was composed by Andrew Lloyd Webber,

Jose Villalobos

whom she married in 1984 (they divorced in 1990). Over her career, Brightman has starred in stage productions including The Phantom of the Opera, Aspects of Love, Dangerous Obsession and The Innocents

The Criterion Collection

and released 12 studio albums. The last of those was

Twitter / spurs

2018’s Hymn, which hit No. 1 on the Billboard Classical Crossover Albums and Classical Albums charts.

MON | 12.27 COMEDY

SAL VULCANO AND CHRIS DISTEFANO As a member of the comedy troupe The Tenderloins, NYC-born Sal Vulcano stars on TruTV’s Impractical Jokers, the channel’s most popular show. The Tenderloins goes back a long way, since the four members became friends in high school. They began posting clips on sites like YouTube before winning It’s Your Show in 2007. Vulcano also hosts the podcast What Say You? Devotees of Impractical Jokers don’t need to Courtesy Photo / Majestic Theatre

be told that he was recently, ahem, “gifted” with the

SUN | 12.19 FILM

BLACK GIRL AND MANDABI

Presented by Slab Cinema, the double feature from Senegalese filmmaker Ousmane Sembène makes a compelling package for movie lovers. His 1966 drama Black Girl is believed to be the first film made by a Black African in sub-Saharan Africa. The film, which runs 65 minutes, follows a Black girl from Senegal who travels to France to become the governess of a wealthy family but is soon demoted to a maid. The second film of the evening is the 1968 drama Mandabi. That film, which runs 92 minutes, is the first of Sembène’s career to be made in his native language of Wolof. Mandabi tells the story of a Senegalese family whose life is turned upside down when a relative from Paris sends them a money order that ends up causing problems between family members. During an interview in 1998, Sembène was asked about being a provocateur. “I don’t like the word ‘provocation,’” he said. “I’m not taking the word away from you, but I don’t provoke! I have to find an expression of sound that will push people to talk and to think. I try to see things from their point of view. I can’t tell them what to see but I can offer a reflection.” $10, 8 p.m., Arthouse at Blue Star, 134 Blue Star, (210) 212-9373, slabcinemaarthouse.com. — KM

In doing so, Brightman became the female artist

nickname Prince Herb. Chris DiStefano, on the other

with the most No. 1 hits on both charts. Last year,

hand, is a more recent arrival on the comedy scene.

it was announced that she would receive a star on

He got his start on the MTV shows Guy Code and Girl

the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2021. The ceremony

Code before getting his own Comedy Central special

which turns out to be the biggest-selling Christmas

of The Bells” and “Deck the Halls.” In summary:

has yet to take place, but her contributions to the

Size 38 Waist. In addition, he hosts the Comedy Cen-

album of all time. The name springs from a German

this show is for folks who want at least a bit of

theater scene are undeniable. $122-$295, 7:30 p.m.,

tral show Stupid Questions with Chris DiStefano. He

musical technique and started as a pseudonym

rock in their Christmas but who find Trans-Sibe-

Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333,

also hosted the podcast History Hyenas with Yannis

for composer Chip Davis. The live show is a mix of

rian Orchestra too edgy. $49.50-$125, 7:30 p.m.,

majesticempire.com. — KM

Pappas. And as if that wasn’t enough podcasting

classical music and rock along with multimedia

Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333,

for ya, Vulcano and DiStefano co-host the podcast

presentations and lights. Expect multiple musicians

majesticempire.com. — MM

Hey Babe. $39.75-$225, 7 p.m., Majestic Theatre, 224 E.

on stage and renditions of classics including “Carol

SUN | 12.26 SPORTS

SPURS VS. PISTONS Despite adding Arlington native Cade Cunningham to their roster with the No. 1 overall pick in last sum-

Houston St., (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — MM

TUE | 12.28 SPECIAL EVEN T

mer’s NBA draft, fortunes haven’t exactly shifted in

MANNHEIM STEAMROLLER

Detroit for the Pistons. Cunningham and company

It’s a few days after Christmas, sure, but you can still

endured an extended losing streak earlier this sea-

say “‘Tis the Season” and enjoy the tunes. And if you

son and arrive in San Antonio with one of the worst

enjoy … um … relatively contemporary Christmas

records in the NBA. The Spurs weathered a rough

music, you may well dig instrumental outfit Mann-

patch of their own last month with a timely winning

heim Steamroller. It’s newer than Rudolph or Charlie

streak that coincided with the return of Jakok

Brown, ya feel me? This tour celebrates the 35th

Poeltl from health protocols and the reemergence

anniversary of the instrumental act’s Christmas LP,

Matt Christine Photography

sacurrent.com | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | CURRENT

CURRENT | December 15 - December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

San Antonio comedian Larry Garza headlines roast, living memorial in his honor BY KIKO MARTINEZ

xiting stage left has never been part of the plan for local stand-up comedian Larry Garza. When he was diagnosed with Stage 4 kidney cancer in 2016, the co-founder of the sketch comedy crew Comedia A Go-Go wasn’t about to let the disease steal his spotlight. So, he did the only thing he knew would keep his spirit from breaking: He decided to laugh his way through the situation. “I know it might sound cliché, but I didn’t want it to beat me,” Garza told the Current in 2016. “I didn’t want to go dark.” Five years later, Garza is still fighting. He’s gone through countless surgeries and procedures and has experienced several setbacks, all while keeping a positive attitude about the future. Even when the cancer spread to his brain, Garza wasn’t about to give up. This year, he started dialysis treatment after doctors removed his last remaining kidney. Earlier this month, he took the stage at a comedy club for the first time since February 2019. He wanted to get in a little practice for his next endeavor. Now, Garza is preparing to headline his own memorial, a Wednesday, Dec. 29 event that will double as a Comedy Central-style roast and a fundraiser. He’s invited more than a dozen of his comic and non-comic friends love.” to take the mic and give him an old-school Along with being ridiculed by his comverbal beatdown. Full disclosure: Larry and rades, Garza was intrigued by the idea of I became friends after I wrote a cover story attending his own memorial. He remembered on him in 2016. I will also participate in the something his grandmother used to say when upcoming roast. someone would bring her flowers. She always Garza got the idea for a living memothanked them for giving rial-slash-roast when he her flowers while she was started receiving palliative still alive, so she could enjoy care, he said, to “keep him The Roast of them, instead of taking them comfortable.” At this point, Larry Garza to her grave. he was told that he should $15 “That’s always stuck with start making funeral arrange8 p.m., Dec. 29 Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club me,” Garza said. “The celebraments. 618 NW Loop 410 tion of life needs to happen But instead of planning (210) 541-8805 when someone is alive, so a memorial where “everyimprovtx.com/sanantonio they can enjoy it. I want to acone comes up and says nice tually be there, not be there things” about him, he wantin an urn.” ed his friends to roast him. Plus, Garza added, he’ll get to follow roast During the initial planning stages, his wife Andee said something that took everything to protocol and return fire when all the roasters finish taking their shots at him. In essence, a whole new level. he’ll have the last word — and what stand-up “She said, ‘You know you don’t have to be wouldn’t crave that? dead to do this,’” Garza said. “I chuckled, but “Before this event was planned, I was just now it’s actually happening, and I will be there. A roast is the biggest honor a comedian going to record something from the hospital bed and hope the people I was roasting were can get. It’s your friends making fun of you in there [at my funeral],” Garza said. “I was hopa harsh way, but it’s coming from a place of

arts

Die Laughing

Jess Castro

ing they didn’t die, too!” “I knew he would want to put people back in their place,” his wife Andee added. Garza doesn’t envision dying anytime soon, but he thinks it’s something everyone needs to plan for, whether or not they’re sick. Not only will going through the process lighten the heavy burden that would be left behind for a grieving family, but it also gives someone like Garza the chance to customize his memorial as he sees fit. He’s abandoned the idea he had five years ago of being buried in a Dracula costume. “I have all the plans on record,” Garza said. “Don’t bury me in a suit. Put me in a Comedia A Go-Go shirt, black hoodie, jeans and a Spurs hat.” While a word like “legacy” sounds a bit “narcissistic” to Garza, he hopes that when he finally sheds his human form and drops the mic one final time, he’ll be remembered simply as “that hilarious San Antonio comic” — a comedian whose sense of humor, even during his darkest days, inspired those around him. “Life is an ass-kicker for everybody,” he said. “But you have to laugh about it and celebrate it while you’re here.”

Find more arts coverage every day at sacurrent.com

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CURRENT | December 15 - December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

arts

Lindsey Bernier

Creative Exchange

Weird wine, unique cocktails and local art will be on the menu at Hands Down BY BRYAN RINDFUSS

n March of 2019, San Antonio artist couple Amada Claire Miller and Nicholas Frank opened a pair of kindred exhibitions at FL!GHT Gallery that explored themes surrounding currency, exchange… and booze. In the main gallery, Frank’s “Demos Schmemos” investigated “the corrosion of democracy and mutual trust” via sculptural vignettes referencing Ancient Greek obolus, drachma, spittoons and beer foam. Meanwhile, in FL!GHT’s tiny, salon-style space, Miller’s “Hands Down” conjured a speakeasy environment where guests could purchase ceramic coins — to be exchanged for cocktails — along with handcrafted glassware created by gallery proprietor Justin Parr. Beyond the shared thematic threads, a universal symbol — the handprint — appeared on both Miller’s clay coins and metal versions Frank made from smelted beer cans. Since those exhibitions closed, Miller has kept her “Hands Down” concept alive through a series of pop-up events that continue today. “I’ve kept that theme going throughout every pop-up that we’ve done,” Miller explained. “So if you went to the first bar pop-up at FL!GHT and purchased a coin — which can range from $5 to $10 — you can come to another pop-up somewhere else and it would

details, Miller offered us a glimpse of what to expect from the permanent iteration of Hands Down, which she anticipates opening early in the new year.

‘Weird wine, weirder goblets’

Announced by a teaser on the Hands Down Instagram page, the bar’s specialty will be unusual wines that can be be valid for a cocktail. … Months later, sipped from handcrafted ceramic cups sometimes even a few years later, [peoor glassware. ple] would bring them back — which I “I like wine that is made by people thought was really cool.” who are really passionate about the Outside of her artistic practice, land that they’re working with and Miller also works at Little Death — a farming, and creating a sustainable, mural-covered establishment on the St. ideally organic wine that is tasty — and Mary’s Strip that amusingly bills itself doesn’t necessarily taste like kombucha as “the worst wine bar in San Antonio.” (laughs). There’s a lot of natural wine Opened by local restaurateur Chad that people turn their nose up to beCarey in the spring of 2019, it chamcause it tastes a little bit sour or really pions “cool and interesting wines you tart. [But] there is really good natural won’t find at the grocery wine out there that you store.” can taste without know“When I started ing it’s natural. … That’s Hands Down working at Little Death, going to be my main (opening in I was really inspired by focus.” the natural wine moveWhile the bar will have early 2022) ment,” Miller recalled. traditional glassware on 1012 S. Presa St., Concurrently, she was hand for everyday use, also enjoying exploring the artist-made goblets instagram.com/handsdownbar the creativity of craftwill come complete with ing cocktails for her a special libation. And, pop-up series. Perhaps unsurprisingly, as for the wine list, it will be ever-evolvthese two sides of the same coin got ing. her thinking about the possibility of “We’ll have tons of options all the opening a bar of her own — one that time that are exciting and new and would offer a curated selection of wine, fun,” Miller added. cocktails and artist-made products in an intimate, hyperlocal atmosphere. Not your ordinary cocktails Early this year, Miller looked at several properties around Southtown and Although it’s still being finalized, the ultimately secured a compact space on Hands Down bar program will reflect South Presa Street formerly inhabited the drinks Miller has been mixing at by Bite restaurant. While still complether pop-ups. ing renovations and ironing out final “There are a lot of specialty cocktails

Amada Miller (left) works at Little Death, where artist-made objects are on display at a Hands Down pop-up (right).

that we’ve created for the bar, but we’ll also do twists on classics,” she said. “We’ll be making a pecan Old Fashioned made with pecan bitters that Nicholas makes from our pecan tree. … There will be a margarita on the menu that I make with palo santo and an umeboshi [pickled plum] martini.” Amari and aperitifs will also be in heavy rotation. “That’s what I’m really excited about: amaro,” Miller said. “It’s really a fascinating area of drinks. Some of them can be bitter, but they can also be really complex and well-balanced. I’m going to focus on making cocktails with those. There are thousands of different [varieties] so there are endless possibilities.”

Artist spotlights In addition to the option of purchasing a cup or glass handcrafted by the likes of Justin Parr, Adam Smolensky, Ali Wiesse, Miller or Frank, Hands Down patrons will be able to support local creatives through a rotating merchandise program. Whether it be a T-shirt, hat, tote or something else entirely, the merch will be complemented by a specialty cocktail concocted by that same artist. “If you have no concept of what [goes into creating a cocktail], people get to really interesting places, which I find really cool,” Miller said. “And of course, I’ll be helping them.”

sacurrent.com | December 15 - December 28, 2021 | CURRENT

CURRENT | December 15 - December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

screens Netflix

Watching in a Winter Movieland

There are plenty of films to choose from this 2021 holiday season

is love in its purest and most light-hearted form. First-time actors Cooper Hoffman (the son of late actor Philip Seymour Hoffman) and Alana Haim (a member of the Grammy-nominated trio HAIM) radiate with charming chemistry. In theaters Dec. 25. 4 OUT OF 5 STARS

BY KIKO MARTINEZ

American Underdog

f your true love really wanted to give you something special, they’d forget about the French hens and turtledoves and turn the next couple of weeks into a massive movie marathon featuring some of the most anticipated releases of the year. Studios, unfortunately, didn’t allow the Current to pre-screen the Marvel sequel Spider-Man: No Way Home, in theaters Dec. 17, or the sci-fi sequel Matrix: Resurrections, in theaters Dec. 22, but we were able to see plenty of other features that will debut this 2021 holiday season. Here are capsule reviews of eight new features that will hit theaters or streaming services between Dec. 17-29. If you start now, you can probably get through all of them just before it’s time to open gifts Christmas morning.

Nightmare Alley

her university’s rowing team. The unhealthy drive that pushes her to the brink is only stymied by portions of the script that don’t fully explain the motivation behind her madness. In select theaters and on demand Dec. 17. 3 OUT OF 5 STARS

Don’t Look Up

Filmmaker and Oscar-winning screenwriter Adam McKay has an obvious agenda in his satirical sci-fi disaster movie, and sometimes the sharp jabs from its script hit the target. Others they swing wildly in hopes of revealing the humor behind some of society’s most glaring problems. The all-star cast, which includes Oscar winners Leonardo DiCaprio, Jennifer Lawrence and Meryl Streep are game, but they can only carry the silliness so far. Debuts on Netflix Dec. 24. 3 OUT OF 5 STARS

With exquisite, Oscar-worthy production design and a strong lead performance by Bradley Cooper, this modern noir by Oscar-winning director Guillermo del Toro is a sight to behold. Even without his customary cinematic monsters, del Toro has fashioned a fascinating tale of human barbarism and delivers one of the most satisfying, albeit predictable, movie endings of the year. In theaters Dec. 17. 3.5 OUT OF 5 STARS

Parallel Mothers

The Novice

Licorice Pizza

Actress Isabelle Fuhrman delivers an intense and physically brutal performance in this sports drama that features hints of horror. Fuhrman plays a college freshman who becomes obsessed with perfection and making

Spanish director and Oscar-winning screenwriter Pedro Almodóvar reunites with Oscar winner Penélope Cruz, this time for a melodrama that centers on two women whose lives cross paths inside a hospital’s maternity ward. Almodóvar’s script blends a story about the sins of the past with the story of a family’s hopeful future in a mature and thought-provoking way. In theaters Dec. 24. 3.5 OUT OF 5 STARS Filmmaker Paul Thomas Anderson has already explored romantic stories between characters in Punch-Drunk Love, Phantom Thread and even Magnolia, but this film set in the San Fernando Valley during the 1970s

The story of St. Louis Rams quarterback Kurt Warner isn’t one you’ll likely hear again, but as a film it feels familiar and trite. As far as inspirational sports flicks go, it’s tough to make an underdog movie sound distinct when so many similar ones have hit the same beats. Warner was a star. His biopic is just your average backup QB. In theaters Dec 25. 2.5 OUT OF 5 STARS

The Tragedy of Macbeth

Oscar-winning director Joel Coen ventures out to make a film without his brother for the first time and does a first-rate job with this Shakespeare adaptation. Anchored by a riveting performance by Oscar-winner Denzel Washington, the traditional narrative is enhanced by Bruno Delbonnel’s haunting black and white cinematography. In limited theaters Dec. 25. Streaming on AppleTV+ Jan. 14, 2022. 3.5 OUT OF 5 STARS

Jockey

In a career-best performance, actor Clifton Collins Jr. (Traffic, Pacific Rim) takes the reins of this emotionally resonant sports drama and makes it soar. The film follows an aging jockey in the twilight of his career as he looks for one more shot at glory. It’s an understated character study that’s moving, authentic and passionate. Collins goes deep and comes out on the other side a legitimate leading man. In select theaters Dec. 29. 3.5 OUT OF 5 STARS Other films opening during this time are Spider-Man: No Way Home, The Lost Daughter, Mother/Android, Swan Song, The Tender Bar – Dec. 17; The Matrix Resurrections, Sing 2 – Dec. 22; and A Journal for Jordan – Dec. 25.

Find more film stories at sacurrent.com

the

100

Best Bars in San I Antonio 2021

t’s a longtime Alamo City ritual to swig from a longneck on the breezy patio of a neighborhood icehouse. But there’s also a venerable tradition of bellying up at classy downtown drinking spots where impeccably dressed barkeeps pour special-occasion cocktails. San Antonio’s bar scene is no one thing, and it’s ever-expanding. Which is why the Current has compiled its first list of our 100 favorite bars. They run the gamut from dingy dives and funky neighborhood haunts to revered downtown destinations and outposts of creative mixology. And, well, pretty much anything in between. We hope to make this an annual affair, assuming our livers hold out. We had fun doing the research, and we’re guessing you’ll also stumble upon good times as you explore those that are new to you. Just remember, this isn’t a

CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

ranked list — our choices are compiled in alphabetical order. Of course, you may grit your teeth in anger a few times when you discover personal favorites that didn’t make the list. Believe us, it was tough to narrow the array down to 100. We had to make tough choices — and there’s always next year. Given the explosion in local brewing and distilling operations, we opted to include some of those as well. Again, it was difficult narrowing them down. Those that made the list did so because of the unique quality of their bar experience, and it’s not a knock on the quality of the beer or spirits of those that didn’t. Bottoms up, SA! Listings by Nina Rangel, Sanford Nowlin, Ron Bechtol, Travis E. Poling, Matt Accardi and Bryan Rindfuss.

3. Alibis Sports & Spirits

You’ll find 70 varieties of beer at St. Paul Square outpost Alibis, but something you won’t find is tourists. If you’re downtown and want to imbibe where locals and service industry folks alike hang out, this is that spot. The drinks are cheap, the front yard offers a relaxing space for people watching, and live acts, open-mic nights and karaoke provide background din. For college football fans, Alamodome-adjacent Alibis is a no-brainer for pre-tailgate drinks. 1141 E. Commerce St., (210) 225-5552, facebook.com/alibissportsandspirits.

4. Amor Eterno

This Southtown spot helmed by Brian Correa and Aaron Peña — proprietors of iconic Bar America and the Squeezebox respectively — debuted last New Year’s Eve and immediately grabbed attention with its elevated cocktails and a sexy ambiance. Billed as a love letter to puro San Antonio cultura, the bar is small but bursting with personality. Aside from the inventive cocktails — try the tequila-heavy Chile Girl — the inviting and intimate space is an homage to our city’s old school vibes. Custom wallpaper, velvet wall treatments and cozy nooks make for an ambiance that accommodates date night or after-dinner nightcaps. 540 S. Presa St., facebook.com/Amor-Eterno.

5. The Bang Bang Bar

Jaime Monzon

1. 2015 Place

This longtime LGBTQ+ nightspot on San Pedro Avenue has more of a neighborhood dive vibe than the sparkly spots on the Main Drag. And that’s kinda the best thing about it. The drinks are cheap, the bartenders are on their game and folks are friendly. Throw in thumping music, a relaxing patio, a mirrored dance floor and diversions including darts and pool and you’ve got the makings of a great night of inclusive fun that’s off the beaten path — well, by a few blocks, anyway. 2015 San Pedro Ave., (210) 733-3365, 2015-place. business.site.

2. 502 Bar

This bar-slash-venue was a welcome addition to the U.S. Highway 281 corridor, where options for musical entertainment, especially of the original variety, haven’t always been plentiful. With a diverse booking policy and a pro-level sound system, the 502 has lasted in the live music game because it does things

Opened in 2016 by two members of the band Girl in Coma — the ones who went on to form FEA, for those keeping score at home — made an immediate splash with its vintage furnishings, inclusive atmosphere and creative drinks. Six years on, there’s still plenty to love about this welcoming spot that works equally well as a live-music venue, a place to sink into a well-loved couch for conversation over cocktails or a place to get in some competitive Skee Ball or pool hustling. 119 El Mio Dr., (210) 320-1187, thebangbangbartx.com.

6. Bar 1919

San Antonio’s had a boom in swanky cocktail spots, but this Blue Star Arts Complex stalwart remains a high-water mark. The basement speakeasy feel is spot on, and you’d be hard-pressed to find a more robust list of Scotch and bourbon pretty much anywhere, which is humorously highlighted by their snub of vodka — you’ll only find a single brand. Rounding it all out, the impeccably dressed bar staff know their stuff without feeling the need to get all snobby about it. So there. 1420 S. Alamo St., (210) 227-1420, bar1919.com.

7. Bar 601 at the Tower of the Americas

Soaring 750 feet above the Alamo City, Bar

food

right. Throw in roughly 30 or so beer taps, mostly dedicated to craft brews, and dedicated open mic and karaoke nights, and you’ve got plenty of reasons to keep coming back. 502 Embassy Oaks, (210) 257-8125, 502bar.com.

601’s key attraction is its killer view. Snag a bar seat in the stationary lounge while the attached restaurant rotates slowly, giving diners a panoramic view of the cityscape. Whether you’re showing out-of-towners the lay of the land or wooing a new potential boo, the visuals make for an icebreaker that’s hard to beat. Sip on a well-balanced pomegranate martini or a glass of wine while you try to spot your favorite landmarks from the sky. 739 E. César E. Chávez Blvd., (210) 223-3101, toweroftheamericas.com.

8. Bar America

Yes, many of us miss the old Bar America with its scarred Formica tabletops, disintegrating flooring and abuelitas serving cold beers. Yes, many of us were saddened when the place got fixed up and lost some of its puro funky charm. That said, it’s still a prime place to drop in for a post-dinner, post-art walk, post-whatever tipple. With 25 beers on tap, a full kitchen and an eclectic crowd fitting of its downtown-meets-Southtown location, Bar America remains a worthy drinking destination 80 years into its history. 723 S. Alamo St., (210) 223-1285, facebook/baramericasatx.

9. The Bar at Bohanan’s

The clubby, library-looking bar inside the downtown steakhouse with an eclectic and timeless sonic playlist is San Antonio bar royalty. Many of the city’s most lauded mixologists have done a stint behind the stick here, and the cocktail menu, organized not by spirit type but preparation method — stirred, shaken, tall with soda, crushed ice and the like — still whispers of the bar’s early consultant, late cocktail guru Sasha Petraske. Classic drinks that any bartender worth his or her salted rim would know aren’t listed, but if you ask for a martini, institutional memory will produce a Hoffman House — stirred, with gin, of course. And it will be one of the city’s best. 219 E. Houston St., #275, (210) 472-2600, bohanans.com.

10. Bar du Mon Ami

This unassuming Alamo Heights-area drinkery offers cozy neighborhood bar vibes with an emphasis on “cozy.” The narrow, dimly-lit bar is home to personable bartenders, extensive spirits offerings and unexpected music selections — all of which add to the draw. After a brief but harrowing brush with closure amid the COVID-19 pandemic, Bar du Mon Ami has risen from uncertainty to solidify its place as a must-visit for local cocktail aficionados. Don’t be afraid to order a classic cocktail here — the folks behind the bar know their stuff, from the Aviation to Vieux Carré. 4901 Broadway, (210) 822-3253, instagram.com/ bardumonami.

11. Bar Loretta

This hotly anticipated eatery specializes in modern Lone Star State cuisine such as peachglazed Texas quail, chili-lime Brussels sprouts

Find more food & drink news at sacurrent.com

Toddy 22

1 ½ Tito’s Handmade Vodka 4 oz earl grey tea, hot ¼ oz lemon juice 1 dollop of honey 1 lemon slice, garnish

CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

Brew tea to your liking. Add Tito’s Handmade Vodka, honey, and lemon juice. Stir and garnish with a lemon slice. Serve warm.

food and Texas goat cheese polenta bites. Beyond the elevated fare, this collaboration between SA natives Roger Herr and Paul Petersen is worth visiting for its craft cocktails and for the ambiance of its swankily revamped Southtown space that previously housed Madhatter’s Tea House. When bellying up, note the impressive whiskey selection and let the bartenders guide you through the offerings — trust us on this. Whiskey novices and pros alike will find something delectable to sip. 320 Beauregard St., (210) 757-3607, barloretta.com.

12. Barbaro

Barbaro: it’s not just for pizza anymore. Not that it ever was. The cocktails at this friendly neighborhood joint are just inventive enough, and well priced to boot, especially during the “best damn” daily happy hour and the even more-attractive after-10 p.m. menu with $5 drinks and $3 slices. From the $10 cocktail list, take a close look at the Man About Town, a riff on the Manhattan with spicy rye and bitter Cynar. The $15 list puts the emphasis on top-shelf booze, so you might as well go straight for an Army Navy with navy-strength gin and orgeat. 2720 McCullough Ave., (210) 320-2261, barbarosanantonio.com.

13. The Base Line

Although the name suggests this might be a sports bar where Rangers or Astros fans congregate, it’s actually a military-friendly hangout just outside of Fort Sam. Get it? Yeah, figured you did. Vintage recruitment posters adorn the walls, and the room housing the pool tables is outfitted like a tent stenciled with military jargon. While the place was once featured on the Paramount Network’s Bar Rescue, whatever fanciness Jon Taffer tried to bring to the place didn’t stick. Which is why we like it. Regardless of whether you’ve served, the Base Line is worth saluting as a lowkey neighborhood drinking hole that gets it right. 1139 Harry Wurzbach Road, (210) 930-6612, thebaselinebar.com.

14. Beethoven Maennerchor

Over recent years, the home of this 154-year-old German singing society has become much more than just a cultural heritage gathering place. The Beethoven’s biergarten and bar have been open for special events such as Oktoberfest and Fiesta Gartenfest for decades, but many Southtown residents and others from around the city

have found a friendly gathering place at the one-time members-only bar Tuesday through Saturday. German beer shares tap and cooler space with domestics and craft beer favorites served up by the pint or pitcher. As a bonus, you can hear the choir practice German beerfest classics on Tuesdays and the large brass band work on their repertoire on Wednesdays in the hall next to the bar. 422 Pereida St., (210) 222-1521, southtownbeethoven.com.

Bar Loretta

15. Blue Bonnet Palace

The reincarnation of Blue Bonnet Palace, just a stone’s throw from the original 1978 location on Interstate 35 in Selma, is where you’ll find gimme caps, cowboy hats, tight jeans, short shorts and longnecks. Mixed drinks, shots and beers fuel the movement on indoor and outdoor dance floors. An outdoor concert venue can handle more than 2,000 people for the shows Friday and Saturday, which run 8 p.m. to 2 a.m. What’s more, the Palace boasts two restaurants, Blue Pit Smokehouse and Fajitas & Margaritas Cantina, which serve Tuesday through Saturday. 17630 Lookout Road, Selma, (210) 651-6702, bluebonnetpalace.com.

16. Blue Box Bar

Those who remember Blue Box’s early days may recall fancy AF cocktails with ingredient lists as long as your arm. These days, the vibe of the drinkery has mellowed, offering a more approachable experience. You’ll find all manner of drinker in this place, from young professionals to, well, old professionals — and everyone in between. Bartenders are friendly and knowledgeable, no matter what your preferred poison. It’s Pearl location also makes it a convenient stop for an after-dinner or -work beer, wine or cocktails. Blue Box even offers happy hour pricing all day on Sunday and Monday. 312 Pearl Parkway, (210) 227-2583, blueboxbar.com.

17. Bombay Bicycle Club

This beer-and-burgers institution has been serving since 1973, with plans to open a second location at Hemisfair this summer. What we love about this spot, though, is the array of local beer and refreshing Ranch Water cocktails that help to beat the heat when the temperatures soar. During the COVID-19 crisis, the St. Mary’s Street staple debuted a spacious outdoor seating area dubbed the Oak Room. AstroTurf, hanging lanterns and

Richard Casteel

enough seating to effectively double the establishment’s capacity make it a great after-work hangout with plenty of shade. 3506 N. St Mary’s St., (210) 7372411, bombaybicyclelubsa.com.

18. Bond’s 007

San Antonio is still the Heavy Metal Capital of the World at this inviting downtown bar-slash-music venue. Rock memorabilia adorns pretty much every inch of Bond’s downstairs bar, and the drinks are cheap. Meanwhile, the upstairs concert space, which features a blow-your-hair-back sound system, hosts performances by local and touring metal acts. If anyone still needs to check Bond’s metal bonafides, the space hosted the Iron Maiden Fan Club’s pre- and post-show gathering the last time the long-running British metal act blew through town, drawing fans from nearly a dozen countries. 450 Soledad St., (210) 225-0007, facebook. com/BONDS007ROCKBAR.

19. Bonham Exchange

The undeniable grande dame of San Antonio’s LGBTQ+ nightlife scene, the Bonham Exchange opened in 1981 in the historic confines of a late 19th-century German athletic club. The flamboyant brainchild of late local legend Arthur “Happy” Veltman, the sprawling multilevel club boasts numerous bars, a spacious patio and what’s arguably the city’s most beloved dance floor. Treated to a tasteful renovation during a 16-month COVID closure, the fiercely inclusive hotspot is looking mighty fine at 40 — hosting top-notch drag entertainment in its storied ballroom and welcoming a mixed crowd for dancing and budget cocktails on weekend nights. 411 Bonham St., (210) 224-9219, bonhamexchange.com.

20.Broadway 5050

We’re not sure we fully get the evolution of this decades-old Broadway fixture’s interior, which has steadily moved away from the deco vibe that makes its exterior so charming. Just the same, it remains a fascinating place to people-watch. On any given night you’re likely to see businessmen trying to make a deal over martinis at one end of the bar and college students playing slap and tickle down at the other. Despite its Alamo Heights location, the vibe is decidedly un-snooty, and the burgers are worthy of their loyal following. 5050 Broadway, (210) 832-0050, broadway5050.com.

21. Bruno’s Dive Bar

After the pandemic killed off a barbecue restaurant operated in this space by the owners of the nearby Friendly Spot, they reopened it and rechristened it with a nod to Bruno Dzanski, operator of B&D Ice House, which occupied the space from 1961 to 2014. With its back-to-basics approach and eccentric sense of décor, Bruno’s hearkens back to the B&D days and ensures there’s still at least one loveably grubby and downscale spot to drink at in the rapidly gentrifying Southtown neighborhood. 1004 S. Alamo St., (210) 225-9801, brunosdive.com.

22. Burleson Yard Beer Garden

This near East Side staple offers ample outdoor space for relaxing while guests choose from more than a dozen draft beers or any of the spot’s famous frozen libations. For noshing while you drink, an onsite kitchen dishes out rib-sticking eats such as chili cheeseburgers and chicken wings. Those who opt not to imbibe around womb goblins shouldn’t let Burleson’s giant,

sacurrent.com | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | CURRENT

In the heart of the San Antonio Riverwalk, El Camino is a beacon for the downtown community to join and enjoy a range of selections from our guest gourmet food trucks paired with precisely created cocktails. El Camino is the perfect spot to bring together friends, family and furry companions under our eco-consciously designed covered seating with a fully stocked bar that includes, frozen drinks, craft brews, and top-shelf cocktails.

ElCaminoSA.com | Downtown SATX 1009 Ave. B 24

CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

food ing dinners annually, offering guests expertly paired food-and-wine experiences in a cozy atmosphere. 19141 Stone Oak Parkway, Suite 704, (210) 495-2672, thecopawinebar.com.

28. The Cove

Devils River Whiskey Jaime Monzon

kid-friendly playscape get them down — the spot is 21-and-up after 9 p.m. 430 Austin St., (210) 354-3001, facebook.com/ burlesonyard.

23. Cellar Mixology at Toro

With its secret-cellar vibe, brick walls, Edison lights and decorative wine barrels, CM is a strong contender for the city’s most atmospheric dive distinction. Its informative, one-drinkper-page menu is also a winner. So, not to worry unduly if the exposition is a tad better than the execution when it comes to the cocktails themselves — there’s always the bottle service for which reservations (for a $10 fee) are a good idea late night Thursday through Saturday. Drinks at street-level Toro are not to be ignored if ambience isn’t your main move. 1142 E. Commerce St., (210) 463-5386, cellarmixology.com.

24. Charlie Brown’s Neighborhood Bar & Grill

This neighborhood spot doles out delicious fare that dispels the notion that bar food is just something to line one’s stomach. From burgers and BLTs to homestyle faves like meatloaf and smothered chicken, Charlie’s kitchen excels. Beyond the grub, the easygoing vibe keeps folks back time and again, even claiming specific barstools for their afternoon or evening imbibing. That’s not to say the crowd isn’t friendly, though. It’s a safe bet that before long, you’ll be clinking glasses with regulars as if you’ve always been a patron. 11888 Starcrest Dr., Suite 101, (210) 496-7092, charlie-browns.com.

25. Cherrity Bar

Cherrity Bar’s appeal is multifaceted. There’s its ample outdoor space, its excellent food by onsite ramen bar

Kuriya, its thoughtful cocktails and its philanthropic mission, to name a few attractions. The nearly four-yearold spot also recently revamped its entertainment offerings, scheduling a seasonal music series with local acts on its sizable patio. Though the “charity” part of Cherrity Bar was put on hiatus during the pandemic, those efforts have been revived, with sales aiding beneficiaries such as Pride Center SA and the city’s Parks Foundation. 302 Montana St., (210) 598-0496, cherritybar. com.

26. Cobalt Club

With a 7 a.m. opening time and an eclectic — some might say “eccentric” — clientele, this north-of-downtown gay bar clearly isn’t everybody’s ideal destination. But don’t let the windowless, bunker-like exterior fool you. There’s nothing uninviting about this space, its patrons or its staff, who are more than happy to welcome a straight crowd — or pretty much anyone who happens to stumble by. You’ll find regulars knocking back affordable drinks with shift workers, staff from nearby hospitals and imbibers looking to satisfy their curiosity about who gets their drink on as others start their morning commutes. 2022 McCullough Ave., (210) 251-2027, facebook.com/ cobalt-club-116922144999722.

27. Copa Wine Bar

Copa Wine Bar has been a part of the San Antonio food scene for more than 16 years, offering a variety of wines from around the world as well as Texas craft beers. This Stone Oak spot may have been voted Best Wine List in 2020 by Current readers, but don’t think vino is all it has to offer. Chef-owner Jeff Bridges holds several themed pair-

There’s so much to like about the Cove, it was pretty much a list shoo-in, even though its indoor bar remains closed as a COVID precaution. The spot is kid-friendly, boasts an amazing outdoor space, has a massive tap selection, serves up organic American fare, features live music — and it’s quirky enough to also include a laundromat and car wash. Beyond that, it’s been at the forefront of trying to treat employees well. But feel-good vibes aren’t the only reason to visit. The Cove’s relaxed hospitality and focus on providing a quality experience make it a San Antonio essential. 606 W. Cypress St., (210) 227-2683, thecove.us.

29. The Crazy Ape

Despite what the name might suggest, the Crazy Ape isn’t an asylum for drunken monkeys, nor is it a monument to Nobel Prize winner Albert Szent-Györgyi — who penned a philosophical book of the same name. Instead, it’s an unassuming neighborhood dive right where we need one — in the shadows of big box stores and North Star Mall. Need a little liquid courage before braving the retail landscape? The Ape is here to help — starting at 7 a.m. no less (10:30 a.m. on Sundays). Appointed with the classic trappings of a stuck-in-time dive — pool table, darts, shuffleboard and button-tufted burgundy leather booths — it’s an ideal destination for clandestine day-drinking but perhaps lives up to its name best during boozy karaoke on Saturday nights. 9930 San Pedro Ave., (210) 525-8158, facebook.com/ crazyapesatx.

30. Dakota East Side Ice House

“Just be nice, dammit!” is painted on the exterior of this cinderblock building that used to house the Wah Yuen Chinese grocery, and more recently, the Hackberry Express convenience store. And who can argue with those sentiments? From its 2018 opening, the Dakota has strived to be a friendly meeting place for residents of its quick-changing East Side neighborhood, recognizing both the long history of the area’s African American residents and newcomers drawn by

the promise of affordable housing. The spot books fittingly diverse live music and even comedy, and it serves up cuts-above bar food including Pork Queso and a wedge salad that recently drew raves from Texas Monthly. 433 S. Hackberry St., (210) 375-6009, thedakotasa.com.

31. Dashi Sichuan Kitchen + Bar

This new and ever-evolving restaurant houses a craft cocktail bar with an inviting lounge vibe where style meets comfort and classiness comes in the form of a passion to serve. Dashi means “grandmaster” in Chinese, and this place has mastered making beautiful drinks, stocking sophisticated-yet-approachable wines and pouring unexpected liquors from all over Asia. As refined as all that sounds, this is also a neighborhood joint that will bust out the karaoke machine upon request or bring in a DJ for Sunday funday on the spacious patio. 2895 Thousand Oaks Dr., (210) 562-3343, sichuaneats.com.

32. Devils River Whiskey

This new distillery opened its doors in spring 2021 and does things in a big way. Inside its confines you’ll find a coffee shop, a basement speakeasy, a main dining area and a lounge that overlooks the distilling equipment. (Did we miss anything?) A sprawling patio allows whiskey aficionados and curiosity seekers alike to enjoy fresh air while they sip on Texas-distilled spirits, available in bourbon, rye, barrel strength and coffee expressions. The cocktails are not to be missed, but we’re still swooning over the antique bar, copper stills, marble floors and floor-to-ceiling columns that make this a downtown destination. 401 E. Houston St., (833) 379-1840, devilsriverwhiskey.com.

33. The Dooryard

If you ever thought it would be nice to sample a bunch of beers without waiting for a beer festival, bugging a bartender for numerous tasters or making the rounds to multiple breweries, The Dooryard is what you’ve been looking for. The concept near Shavano Park is a self-serve craft beer bar with 30 taps plus wine. Patrons pour their own and pay by ounce at the end of the visit. Many of the bartenders are seasoned beer pros ready to drop knowledge and take orders for a small, but delectable food menu that includes muffuletta and Reuben sandwiches along with Asian steamed pork-belly buns and

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food soy-ginger baby back ribs. 4503 De Zavala Road, Suite 108, (210) 201-4911, thedooryardsa.com.

34. Dos Sirenos Brewing

A relative newcomer to Southtown, Dos Sirenos has quickly made a name for itself as a pleasant place to spend an afternoon or evening sipping beer inside or enjoying the large pet-friendly patio. The food menu is pub fare dominated by Akaushi beef burgers and sandwiches, and it pairs well with a wide range of beers including German and Belgian inspired brews with a variety of American versions of IPA and stouts thrown in for good measure. Brunch from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. on Saturday and Sunday features cilantro sausage or beer bacon alongside dishes such as eggs or lemon ricotta pancakes. 231 E. Cevallos St., (210) 442-8138, dossirenosbrewing.com.

35. Downstairs at the Esquire

This intimate lounge dishes out small bites packed with flavor and topof-the-line cocktails, which is to be expected — it’s just below downtown’s historic and lauded Esquire Tavern. Downstairs offers funky, swanky vibes and expertly crafted drinks on the River Walk level of the storied building, which is also said to host a guest of supernatural persuasion. The dark, cozy space allows for snuggling up with a date, and the impressive spirit list lends itself to business meetings or special gatherings. 155 E. Commerce St., (210) 222-2521, esquiretavern-sa.com/ downstairs.

36. Edison Experiment

The crowd at this mixology-focused spot varies from old to young and arrives dressed in anything from casual duds to swanky cocktail attire. The detail-oriented bartenders do a great job adding twists to classic cocktails but have no problem switching into speed-serving mode as the crowd grows. It’s a great place to take a date, sit with your group in one of the couches or sidle up to meet new people while rolling solo. Small bands and solo acts set up here to keep the vibe going. 1846 N. Loop 1604 East, (210) 479-9600, facebook.com/edisonexperiment.

37. El Camino

San Antonians who appreciate art and eats now have a downtown food truck park where they can revel in both. Nestled along the River Walk along Avenue B near the Pearl, the outdoor

bar at this newish establishment offers high-end tipples to those sampling the diverse food truck offerings and work from local artists. In addition to its beer offerings, check out its array of mezcals, whiskies and scotches. In addition to its rotating list of mobile eateries, El Camino offers ample outdoor seating next to the San Antonio River and frequent live music. 1009 Avenue B, elcaminosa.com.

38. El Luchador

You’ve got to give the owners of southof-Southtown nightspot El Luchador credit for sticking to a theme. The neon face of a masked wrestler lights up the exterior of its otherwise nondescript building, and a wall full of lucha libre masks glare down from behind the bar. Is it gimmicky? Sure, but it perfectly fits with El Luchador’s festive and unpretentious good-times vibe. Revelers can take in fresh air on an inviting patio and DJs, live music and food occasionally liven up the party. 622 Roosevelt Ave., (210) 272-0016, facebook.com/ luchadorbarsa.

39. Elsewhere Garden Bar & Kitchen

Star chef Andrew Weissman can take credit for dropping old shipping containers along the River Walk and turning them into an outdoor dining and drinking spot, but it was really after their rebirth as Elsewhere that the location fully came alive. As the name suggests, there’s a garden feel to Elsewhere’s expansive outdoor compound, which specializes in craft beer and well-executed bar food ranging from burgers to more adventurous options including Korean-style cauliflower “wings.” Grab a seat with friends under the awnings, slide onto a bench to watch folks wander the river or grab one of the boardgames on offer and let the evening unfold. 103 E. Jones Ave., (210) 446-9303, elsewheretexas.com.

mezcal Old Fashioned out on the tiny patio. 155 E. Commerce St., (210) 2222521, esquiretavern-sa.com.

41. Evil Olive

The name of this neighborhood haunt is a palindrome — written the same way forwards and backwards — which suggests that that its cocktails will be served with a side of fun. The staff is equally adept at popping open longnecks and stirring up a smoked Old Fashioned, and the ambiance can transform from one reminiscent of Cheers to something rowdier at the drop of a hat. A popular spot for karaoke and live music, the Olive is a reliable option for hanging out with friends with a mixed drink in hand. 2950 Thousand Oaks, Suite 5, (210) 4950970, facebook.com/EvilOliveSA.

42. Fairmount Rooftop Oyster Bar

In 1985, the Fairmount Hotel took a record-setting six-day journey from the intersection of Bowie and Commerce streets to La Villita. The hotel made international headlines as the heaviest building yet to be moved on wheels through city streets. Since then, the public areas of the 37-room hotel received a 2005 facelift, and last year, it added a rooftop bar with swanky vibes, fresh-shucked oysters and nearly unbeatable views. The ambiance and bar staff make for a remarkably puro SA experience. Sunsets, in particular, are breathtaking. 401 S. Alamo St., (210) 224-8800, fairmountsa.com.

43. The Faust Tavern

As its name and neon devil’s head suggests, the Faust Tavern is a neighborhood dive for those who are unafraid to embrace the dark side. DJs spin stoner rock in the brick courtyard, the inside walls are decorated with posters depicting Victorian-era magicians, the single flat-screen TV flickers with B-movies from bygone eras and the bartenders ply their trade while oldschool death metal blares from the speakers. That said, the vibe is more inviting than scary — assuming any those things appeal to you. Drinks are strong and affordable, because that’s exactly how you hasten your descent into Hades. 517 E. Woodlawn Ave., (210) 257-0628, facebook.com/thefausttavern.

44. Francis Bogside

Opened in 2015, Francis Bogside is an Irish-style pub on South St. Mary’s Street that boasts easy vibes, irreverent bartenders and perhaps the best damn Hemingway daiquiri this side of the Rio Grande. Though a 2017 fire at adjoining eatery Brigid forced the property into a months-long hiatus, Francis Bogside rose from the literal ashes, and is back again in fine, bustling form. Stop in for house cocktails and modern takes on Irish fare. 803 S. St. Mary’s St., (210) 3699192, francisbogside.com.

45. Freetail Brewing Co. — Presa Street tasting room

While the Presa Street tasting room at Freetail’s production facility lacks the chef-driven cuisine from a wood-fired

40. The Esquire Tavern

This River Walk landmark enjoys a slew of legends bearing its name, including but certainly not limited to old-timey gun fights, illegal gambling and Prohibition-era hooch schemes. These days, the 88-year-old institution serves high-end cocktails and hearty yet innovative fare in a renovated space that pays homage to the interior of the past, replete with custom-made velvet wallpaper that’s a replica of the original. It’s a spot that’s worth visiting, if only to enjoy the river breeze and a

El Camino Sanford Nowlin

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CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

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food brick oven to back up its beers like the original brewpub location on North Loop 1604, it more than makes up for that in a huge and funky tasting room dominated by Dia de los Muertos-inspired murals. In part, those murals are an homage not only to the brewer’s San Antonio roots but also to its Los Muertos line of beers. Released in early November each year, those brews have taken gold in the Great American Beer Festival, the most prestigious honor in the U.S. beer scene. Beyond the cool ambiance, the tasting room is also the place to snag special bottled releases not available in stores. They are open Wednesday through Sunday with tours of the brewery between 3 and 5 p.m. 2000 S. Presa St., (210) 910-6322, freetailbrewing.com/tap-room.

46. The Friendly Spot Ice House

Nestled in the nexus of several of San Antonio’s oldest neighborhoods, The Friendly Spot is a mostly outdoor venue with front and back bars outfitted with copious taps and bottled craft beers and imports. Heaters keep things cozy on cool evenings when a warming imperial stout might be the order of the day. Spurs games and movies from Cinema Slab are projected onto a giant screen nightly, while those at picnic tables and stools in the back have a view of other televised sports fare on eight flatscreen sets. It is hard to get much more laid back as kids frolic in a playground fenced off the hustle and bustle of South Alamo Street. The only hard part is deciding from among 76 taps, 300 different bottled and canned beers and ciders — or a frozen adult beverage. 943 S. Alamo St., (210) 2242337, thefriendlyspot.com.

47. George’s Keep

Nestled into the terrace level of the far Northwest San Antonio’s Eilian development, George’s Keep is a cocktail destination worthy of a trek from downtown or less far-flung burbs. The setting is chic and upscale without feeling stuffy, and the drink creations are both creative and varied. A touch of falernum and passionfruit makes the tequila-based Falling in Lust a tiki drink for adults, while the Indian Summer pairs rye with walnut liqueur and port for an easy-drinking libation that walks a line between earthy and complex with just the right amount of sweetness. 17803 La Cantera Terrace, (210) 310-3733, georgeskeep.com.

48. The Good Kind Southtown

Fresh comfort food spot The Good Kind has been slinging clean eats in Southtown since 2019, when it took over the building that once housed The Monterrey plus its surrounding grounds. Beyond serving up good food, the spot has grown into a prime place to enjoy beer, wine and cocktails while kicking back in the lush urban oasis created by noted local chef Tim McDiarmid. The sprawling garden lounge often hosts local DJs, makers markets and weekly events such as trivia and karaoke. 1127 S. St. Mary’s St., (210) 801-5892, eatgoodkind.com.

Green Latern

49. Green Lantern

Don’t let the Green Lantern’s comic book-referencing name fool you, this Stone Oak hideout isn’t serving up kid’s stuff. Sophisticated and speakeasy inspired, this is an establishment that takes cocktail culture seriously. The mixologists are exacting and knowledgeable, and their creations showcase an extensive spirits list, fresh ingredients and an array of house-made infusions. From classics such as daiquiris and French 75s to new creations, you’re in good hands with the bartending superheroes at the Green Lantern. 20626 Stone Oak Parkway, #101, (210) 4973722, facebook.com/thegreenlanternsa.

50. Hanzo

This casual, pub-like hangout offers varying scenes for drinking, dining and after-work socializing over a crazy-creative cocktail or small plate from the kitchen. This sleekly designed Alamo Heights spot is tucked away in a nondescript shopping center off Broadway, boasting a large patio space for al fresco enjoyment of one of many Japanese whiskies offered at the bar. While the food is enough of a reason to visit, keep in mind that the concept comes from the mind behind cocktail havens Blue Box and George’s Keep, so the cocktails do not disappoint. 7701 Broadway, (210) 826-1488, hanzobar.com.

51. Haunt

A hotel bar has got to have something special if you’re going to recommend it to locals, and Haunt, the cocktail lounge inside of the St. Anthony, certainly does. This sexy place deserves to be shared with good company, especially those with a penchant for faux fur and animal print. When glancing at the extensive cocktail menu, the name of each creative, signature

Instagram / sugarybysuzette

tipple may strike you as unorthodox. That’s because the hotel, a national historic landmark, is rumored to be uber-haunted. Spooky! 300 E. Travis St., (210) 352-3171, facebook.com/hauntsa.

52. Havana Bar

Located in the boutique River Walk hotel of the same name, the Havana is the hotel bar for those of us who wouldn’t be caught dead in a hotel bar. Lit only by dim candlelight, it’s dark, cool, filled with vintage furniture and feels a little bit illicit. The fact that it’s largely undiscovered by tourists and something of a hidden gem among locals only heightens the speakeasy vibe. Whether you’re looking for an offbeat date night or to suck back some rum cocktails with a small cadre of friends, this spot is one of San Antonio’s best intimate hideaways. 1015 Navarro St., (210) 2222008, havanasanantonio.com.

53. Hello Paradise

A patio bar with craft drinks, DJ-curated tunes and authentic Thai grub? Now that’s paradise — or, more accurately, Hello Paradise. This open-air gem’s combination of frozen cocktails and Thai-inspired fare isn’t just novel but well executed. Chalk that up to its founder, SA cocktail king Jeret Peña. Try the electric blue H.P. Blast: rum, blue curaçao, orange and pineapple juices topped with fizzy Topo Chico over ice. Sumptuous noodle, soup and curry dishes plus spring rolls and Thai fried chicken wings round out the experience. 520 E. Grayson St., (210) 338-5114, helloparadisesa.com.

54. Hi-Tones

DJ sets, periodic “emo nights” and live music ranging from indie rock to metal and hip-hop are part of the draw at this late-night St. Mary’s Strip hangout housed in a teal brick structure that looks like it’s been there forever. The other draw, of course, is Hi-Tones’ puro party vibe, which is aided by the relaxed hangout environs of its outdoor patio and an array of affordable drinks tailor-made to SA tastes. Pickle shots, anyone? The interior’s vintage look completes a memorable package. 621 E. Dewey Place, (210) 785-8777, instagram. com/hitones_sa.

55. High Street Wine Co.

Wine can be intimidating. An encyclopedic-looking wine list may only up the anxiety more. But put it all in a sophisticated setting at popular Pearl, add a savvy staff eager to support aficionados and neophytes alike, and you have High Street. The frequently changing wines by the glass are enough to kick start a course in vino appreciation the best way possible: by drinking the stuff. A pink Tasmanian bubbly? You’ll only find it here. A white from Portugal’s Douro Valley? Likely an exclusive. A list of appealing snacks that includes smoked duck “ham” will only keep you in your seat longer. Bottles to go are discounted 15%. 302 Pearl Parkway, Unit 104, (210) 908-9144, highstreetwine.com.

56. Hoppy Monk

While we tried to focus on locally owned establishments over chain bars for this list, it would be a mistake to skip over this North Side beer bastion.

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Pizza | Burgers | Beer

CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

food The mini-chained started in El Paso and has replicated its success there in San Antonio with an accessible pub featuring a wall of beer taps dominated by craft brews, many of which are produced locally. It also sources local ingredients from independent farmers for its food menu, which ranges from the expected burgers to some surprising and fresh appetizer options. And don’t sleep on the cocktail program, which is formidable for a place where beer is the main draw. 1010 N. Loop 1604 East, (210) 545-3330, thehoppymonk.com.

57. Hops & Hounds

This massive kid- and dog-friendly property features a dine-in restaurant, indoor and patio bars and a children’s playground. The pièces de résistance, though, are the two large dog runs, which offer ramps and obstacles for four-legged friends to play on. In the way of drinkable perks, the bar — owned and operated by the folks behind Burleson Yard Beer Garden and now-shuttered Taco Garage — serves up craft beer on draft, cocktails and Burleson’s famous frozen margaritas. Night owls can often enjoy tunes from local DJs, who post up on the small stage. 13838 Jones Maltsberger Road, (210) 592-9400, hopsandhoundsllc.com.

58. Hugman’s Oasis

This downtown tiki bar, opened earlier this year, evokes feelings of toes in the sand and rum in your hand — even if you’re just feet from the San Antonio River. Sip on one of the bar’s signature painkillers during Cabana Hour and earn the right to say that you drank at the bar that has more skulls than any other tiki-focused watering hole in the country. Before- and after-dinner crowds pop in throughout the evening, but the vibe picks up later as partiers arrive in search of libations made with sparks and fire amid flickering torches, jungle beats and rustling flora. 135 E. Commerce St, (210) 441-7225, hugmansoasissatx.com.

59. Jazz, TX

Conceived by local bandleader Doc Watkins, this basement spot in the Pearl is San Antonio’s spot for yearround jazz. Shows take place daily and feature not only Watkins and other local, regional and touring jazz acts but also blues, Americana, salsa and more. The atmosphere is sophisticated without skimping on fun. The bar knows its

way around a cocktail and the kitchen offerings range from shrimp ceviche to a center-cut filet. Our only quibble: some patrons don’t get that when the music starts, it’s time to lower your voice. We’re guessing those are the tourists, however. San Antonians know better. 312 Pearl Parkway, Building 6, Suite 6001, (210) 332-9386, jazztx.com.

60. Jet-Setter

This downtown spot has drawn raves for a globally influenced drink menu from local craft cocktailer Benjamin Krick of Pastiche, Dashi Sichuan Kitchen + Bar and the now-shuttered Juniper Tar. Complementing the sophisticated tipples is a hearty dose of equally sophisticated Mid-Century Modern style. The cocktails and ambiance are equally astute, and the crew behind the stick is attentive and knowledgeable, making for an experience that has the potential to be as educational as it is delicious — should you choose to take advantage of their insight. If not, lounging areas offer opportunities to escape the bustling bar top as you sip signature cocktails made with ingredients from far-away lands. 229 E. Houston St., #10, (210) 272-0457, jet-settersa.com.

Hugman’s Oasis

61. La Tuna

For nearly 30 years, folks have been drinking ice cold beer under the pecan trees on the edge of an old southof-downtown neighborhood and a warehouse district. Those warehouses are now restaurants and art spaces, and trendy apartments abound. Still, the simplicity of La Tuna endures. What you see is what you get. If you see it displayed from one of four seats at the bar or the side window where most people order, then it’s available. The selection of bottled and canned beer and wines has expanded over the years

beyond icehouse classics such as Lone Star, Shiner Bock and Mexican lagers including Modelo, Corona and Bohemia. But even the new arrivals are all a rotating variety of homegrown Texas brews. Food comes from the other side of the property at the La Tuna Grill, where a crowd-pleasing menu includes eclectic selections such as grilled chicken nachos, chicken fried steak and roasted lamb sandwich. 100 Probandt St., (210) 224-8862 (bar) and (210) 2125727 (grill), latunasa.com.

62. Liberty Bar

Liberty Bar was an irreverent institution in its previous location near Pearl, and it seems even more so in its current digs — a former convent in which drinks no longer need be disguised as sacramental trappings. Those avoiding alcohol for religious or other reasons can take solace in Liberty’s One-Eyed Jacks, which employs Seedlip, one of the first non-alcoholic spirits. Barrel-aged in-house, the bar’s classic Last Word Giles Design Bureau cocktail — gin and Chartreuse — is boozy all the way. The Katy Jurado, named for a feisty Mexican film actress, pits tequila against puckery Aperol and bubbly cava. Pro tip: wine bottles are half off on Mondays. 1111 S. Alamo St., (210) 2271187, liberty-bar.com.

63. Lighthouse Lounge

Can someone please explain to us why it took this long for someone to open a cozy nightspot just outside Woodlawn Lake Park? The Lighthouse’s charm is that it simultaneously feels fresh and hip yet could have been tucked away in its quiet neighborhood for decades. Occasional live music and DJ sets are draws, but even on quieter nights, you’ll find neighborhood folks relishing the relaxed atmosphere, complemented by vintage furnishings,

a full bar and a not-to-be missed Como La Flor shrine. As quickly as this city is gentrifying, it’s refreshing to see new spots embracing the flavor of old SA. 1016 Cincinnati Ave., facebook.com/ thelighthouselounge.

64. Little Death Wine Bar

From its name (Google petit mort) to its totally tagged exterior to its troop of knowledgeable-yet-not-snobby servers, Little Death is nothing if not cheeky. The wine selection is heavy on Beaujolais — a favorite region of ornery owner Chad Carey — and Burgundy. And it’s not damn bad for Riesling, natural and “pet-nat” wines. Snacks and a resident food truck provide the solid sustenance necessary to justify spending an entire evening investing the well-priced offerings, a tad cheaper if you take the bottles home with you to drink in domestic tranquility. 2327 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 264-6472, littledeathwine.com.

65. Lonesome Rose

The self-described oldest honky tonk on the St. Mary’s Strip was the first spot in recent nightlife history to bring country music to the midtown area. The bar emphasizes alt-country, but it also dabbles in rock, conjunto and more. The place gets the ambiance just right with its vintage beer signs, oldstyle jukebox and full bar. A spacious and dog-friendly backyard completes the charm. The cocktails are simple — often necessary in a higher volume, music-focused setting — but expertly prepared. We recommend the Ranch Water. Trust us on this’n, pard. 2114 N. St. Mary’s St., (773) 770-3414, thelonesomerose.com.

66. Lowcountry

What low-key and cozy Southtown spot Lowcountry lacks in indoor seating it more than makes up for in outdoor ambiance. Situated in a renovated house, it’s clear upon entering that the primary function of the structure was not to serve cocktails to throngs of thirsty guests. Stepping out onto the back patio quells all claustrophobic uneasiness, however. Dressed up with twinkling lights, the patio is spacious enough to kick back with friends while sipping on any one of the bar’s signature tipples — and the frequent live music only adds to the vibe. 318 Martinez St., (210) 560-2224, lowcountrysa.com.

67. Lucy Cooper’s Ice House

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food If you ask Lucy Cooper’s proprietors Braunda and Jesse Smith, their 21-andup spot is more than a restaurant; it’s an attitude. After a few Mason jar cocktails and a rousing round of Naughty Bingo — it’s exactly what you think it is — you may be inclined to agree. Aside from Southern-inspired fare from the kitchen, the bar serves up a wide enough variety of craft beer and mixed drinks to satisfy any imbiber. If the weather ever cools down, get there early to snag seats around a patio fire pit for cozy conversation. 16080 San Pedro Ave., (210) 462-1894, lucycoopers. com.

68. Luna

Cozy and a little retro, this venue situated on San Pedro inside the inner Loop, has been bringing live jazz, blues, Latin sounds and R&B to central SA since 2003. A midcentury modern feel pervades, and guests commingle in cozy corner booths and at tables surrounding a small dance floor. Beer, wine and cocktails fuel weekly salsa nights. Conversation with strangers happens organically in this dimly lit locale, which lives up to its claim of “bringing swanky back.” 6740 San Pedro Ave., (210) 804-2433, lunalive.com.

69. Main Street

Located not too far from the airport, this neighborhood bar boasts an extensive patio with picnic tables and TVs for watching your favorite team while indulging in uber-affordable drinks. Bands post up at Main Street weekly, though it never feels overrun with crowds thanks to its spacious layout. Wet your whistle while making friends with the regulars patronizing the bar top, or just sit back and enjoy the low-key vibe. Trivia and comedy nights happen weekly, and the spot’s generously long happy hour lasts from 2-8 p.m. 13477 Wetmore Road, (210) 490-3038, barsanantoniotx.com.

70. The Martini Club

Gone are the days when beloved vocalist and multi-instrumentalist Wayne Harper transported bar flies to 1970s-era Vegas with his infectious Neil Diamond covers — but his lounge lizard vibes can still be felt at the Martini Club, the hidden gem he sold in 2016 after 26 glittery years. These days, cover bands (Top Shelf, Soul Grammar, V3rtigo and Rick Rice, to name a few) take the stage on weekend nights and get the pleasantly mixed crowd groov-

ing to everything from disco and new wave to old-school country on Martini’s compact dance floor. Traditionalists looking to recapture the retro authenticity Harper brought to the table might prefer the atmosphere on Wednesdays and Thursdays, when singers show off their vastly varied karaoke skills. Grab one of the club’s specialty martinis and start the countdown to “Sweet Caroline.” 8507 McCullough Ave., Suite A9, (210) 595-7627, themartiniclubsatx.com.

71. Maverick Whiskey

Just steps away from the Alamo, Maverick Whiskey distills all manners of boozy delights in the building that was once served as San Antonio mayor Samuel Maverick’s homestead. The stylish tasting room is decked out in dark stained wood with copper accents, an homage to the stills used to make the 210-born whiskey. Cocktails served onsite feature Maverick’s full lineup of spirits, such as its coffee liqueur, whiskies and gin. The distillery’s award-winning spirits are available by the bottle, too, for those who want to continue to indulge at home. 115 Broadway, (210) 447-7010, maverickwhiskey.com.

72. The Mix

The feel of this St. Mary’s Strip staple isn’t far off from the cantina at the Mos Eisley Spaceport. And we mean that in the best way possible. Not that it’s a wretched hive of scum and villainy, although we suspect some of that goes down in the bathroom stalls. No, this spot is full of colorful characters, some of whom wouldn’t look out of place in a Star Wars flick. Beer and booze flows, bartenders work quickly and bands rock out — now on a stage instead of the floor. If you dig dives with vibes, this is all you, baby. 2423 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 735-1313, themixsa.com.

zero-proof options on the daily. 516 E. Grayson St., (210) 901-8646, facebook. com/themodernistsa.

74. The Moon’s Daughters

It’s tempting to suggest that The Moon’s Daughters, a spectacular indoor-outdoor lounge perched 20 stories above the Riverwalk is more about the Instagram than the shaking can. There are only 10 cocktails on the online menu, but the city skyline is almost infinite from the outdoor deck — and patrons often dress to suit the setting. But give those bartenders a chance to shake up a Storied Coasts with pea flower-purple Empress Gin, lavender and a prosecco cap, and you might be surprised. Locally produced Twang Sunrise Salt adorns the rim of the serrano-infused and tequila-based All That’s Nice. Get fancy and head on up. 115 Lexington Ave., (210) 942-6032, themoonsdaughters.com.

75. Otro Bar

Nestled amid the Cypress trees that shade the River Walk is Otro Bar. Part of the newly opened Canopy by Hilton hotel at the corner of St. Mary’s and Commerce streets, this elevated space includes an open-air terrace where guests and locals alike can sip on creative cocktails that use hardto-pronounce ingredients such as La Venenosa Raicilla Tabernes and D’Aristi Xtabentún liqueur. Set just high enough above the hustle and bustle of downtown, this swanky new spot offers skyline sips in an airy atmosphere. 123 N. St Mary’s St., (210) 404-7516, domingorestaurant.com/otro-bar.

76. Paper Tiger

Let’s start with the obvious: the drinks aren’t the draw at the Paper Tiger. That distinction belongs to the music. Thanks to an adventurous booking policy that’s brought in groundbreaking acts ranging from bounce rapper Big Freedia to high-decibel noise merchants Swans, this St. Mary’s Strip staple has emerged as one of SA’s premiere music venues. The vibe is relaxed and may remind old timers of Austin’s sadly departed Liberty Lunch. An open breezeway and outdoor space offer a way to depressurize between live sets, and no, it doesn’t hurt that the bartenders know what they’re doing. 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com.

77. Pastiche

Some bars you go to for the ambiance, some for the creative cocktails, some for the charismatic bartenders. Sometimes you hit the jackpot with all three. Local bar bard Benjamin Krick has taken an East Side cottage and turned it into a hip haven for contemporary quaffers with an appreciation of the Belle Epoque past. The airy back yard has also been a godsend during the pandemic. And anyone with a feel for le fée verte will admire drinks dedicated to once-banned absinthe. Past special events have included an homage to the art of flamenco. Uncork the Cava and get your clap on. 1506 E. Houston St., (210) 439-1532, facebook.com/pastiche.sa.

78. Pecan Grove Drive Inn

As fast as gentrification is erasing San Antonio’s old-school culture, it’s

The Moon’s Daughters

73. The Modernist

This intimate space near the Pearl can quickly fill to capacity with folks looking for expertly crafted cocktails — and for good reason. Seasoned bar pros helm the establishment, concocting creative and delectable drinks. Watch them create cocktails on the fly by asking guests what they typically enjoy in a drink. Sweet? Effervescent? Boozy? Whichever way you lean, they’ve got you covered. The Modernist has also worked to foster a wider acceptance of booze-free nights out, hosting multiple sober events over the years and offering

Courtesy of The Moon’s Daughters

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food Rumble

It takes a courageous operator to tuck a wine bar away in a lightly trafficked corner of an urban park. But that’s just what Jennifer Beckmann, a Certified Wine Educator and Sommelier, did with her winery and tasting room at HemisFair. To add to the challenge, Beckman features Texas wines — many with unfamiliar grapes such as Fiano — she produces and barrel ages at a winery in Fredericksburg. That’s not necessarily an easy sell, even to Texans. But a sip of San Antonio Rosé or the non-vintage Riverwalk Red will likely change the mind of even the diehard skeptic. 623 Hemisfair Blvd., Suite 106, (254) 661-2721, rerootedwine.com.

85. Rock & Rye

Kody Melton

refreshing to stumble across hidden treasures like this bare-bones South Side drinkery. The beer selection is small but cheap — we’re talking $1.50 domestics on “Cheap Ass Monday.” The interior of this converted house features a bar, a pool table and not much else, but it’s easy to lose track of time in the tree-shaded backyard crisscrossed by string lights. That’s especially true on nights when a DJ spins West Side soul classics. 1526 Roosevelt Ave., (210) 532-4113, facebook.com/pecangrove. driveinn.1.

79. Pegasus

An unpretentious Main Strip mainstay since 1994, Pegasus is proudly open from 2 p.m. to 2 a.m. 365 days a year — “366 during leap years” — meaning there’s essentially always a party going on up in here. While neighborly vibes, wallet-friendly wells and jams that span from pop to classic country make it a dependable watering hole by day, the Peg becomes drag central by night, showcasing a seemingly endless cavalcade of queens on a COVID-friendly outdoor stage complete with cocktail tables. Sweetening the deal, a smaller outdoor stage behind the venue plays host to what’s quite possibly the campiest karaoke in town. 1402 N. Main Ave., (210) 299-4222, pegasussanantonio.com.

80. Picks Bar

Following a transition to new ownership and extensive renovations, this far North Side venue offers a slew of reasons to make the trek. The recently 34

upgraded patio, craft cocktails on tap and one-of-a-kind live band karaoke experience create a larger-than-life atmosphere that’s dependably fun and just a little on the rowdy side. With live music every night of the week — and, yes, karaoke is considered music in this case — and incredible food from La Maceta Tapatios, this Latina-owned business knows exactly how to throw a party. 4553 N. Loop 1604 West, (210) 253-9220, picksbar.com.

81. Ranger Creek Brewing & Distilling

The tasting room is tiny, but the tasting experience is big at the state’s first combination brewery and distillery. This is a working facility tucked into a Northeast SA industrial park that makes a diverse line of beers and whiskies for the retail market. The public portion, which serves as a customer-friendly tasting room and store on weekdays, transforms into a speakeasy environment on Friday evenings and noon to 9 p.m. Saturday. Book a tour with a beer and whisky tasting for the maximum experience but stay for the dim lights and conversation over easy-drinking San Antonio Lager, an eye-opening coffee stout dubbed Sunday Morning Coming Down or award-winning whiskies such as Texas bourbon, single malt and rye. 4834 Whirlwind Dr., (210) 339-2282, drinkrangercreek.com.

82. Rathskeller Bar (Hermann Sons Ballroom)

A bar may be a surprising find in the basement of an old office building,

CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

yet here it is. The building in question houses administrative offices for the eight fraternal lodges of the San Antonio Hermann Sons Home Association — and that bar, the Rathskeller, bears the state’s oldest continually held beer license, issued in 1937. Back then, the brews flowed for the Germans who gathered there. These days, it sates the thirst of an eclectic crowd of dwellers and workers in the downtown area. The Rathskeller has been a Lone Star-andPearl-in-cans kind of joint since the days when those once wildly popular brews were made locally. Now, they come served up with swing dance lessons and a dance party on Wednesdays, trivia on Thursday and a variety of live entertainment. 525 S. St. Mary’s Street, (210) 226-5432, sahermannsonsbar.com.

83. RD Hidden Door Speakeasy

Texting a random phone number for a secret password to enter a modern-day speakeasy may seem a little theatrical — but what’s wrong with that? The real journey starts when you enter the space located behind the Barn Door Restaurant in Alamo Heights. Dark lights, gilded details, candles, music from the 1920s and excellent cocktails await at this intimate, reservations-only spot where just 27 guests can imbibe at a time. Fittingly, RD excels at classic cocktails, but those looking to try something new and exciting can do that here as well. 8400 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 605-2292, mixed4u.com.

84. Re:Rooted 210 Urban Winery

Fans of luxurious vibes and no-nonsense cocktails can now enjoy specialty spirits at this smart, stylish space in far North San Antonio. The newish Rock & Rye offers an impressive specialty cocktail menu and a spirits list that boasts 400 varieties. The nightspot wants to build up an arsenal of 3,000 bottles, ranging from cocktail staples such as whiskey, gin and agave spirits to more adventurous options including aquavit, grappa and absinthe. If an imbibing adventure is what you’re looking for, start here. 17631 La Cantera Parkway, Suite 103, (210) 721-7753, rockandryebar.com.

86. Rumble

Part of this remade gas station’s popularity comes down to location, location, location. Its expansive outdoor drinking area offers a breath of fresh air at the busy end of the St. Mary’s Strip. It’s a great spot to have a relaxed drink and take in a DJ while waiting for a show to start at next door’s Paper Tiger, for example. But that only explains part of the appeal. The atmosphere may be casual, but the cocktails are creative and expertly crafted. Occasional burger nights from JDub’s and the presence of the slightly spooky Gravves Coffee trailer add to the draw. 2410 N. St. Mary’s, #3736, (210) 885-3925, facebook/ rumblesatx.

87. Shady Lady Saloon

When stepping into this Southeast San Antonio watering hole, the term “no frills’’ comes to mind. The Shady Lady is one of those neighborhood haunts where simple drinks accompany familiar diversions such as shuffleboard, pool, darts and an Internet jukebox. There always seems to be a regular or

two bellied up to the bar of this dimly lit joint, which speaks to its enduring appeal. Chances are good you’ll walk out with a new friend — or at least an amusing anecdote. 3603 S. WW White Road, (210) 333-4224, facebook.com/ theshadyladysa.

all eyewash and tall tales at this bar located inside the Hotel Emma. Cocktails such as the complex and herbal Ciudad del Sol and the earthy and rummy Torrid Decadence stand up nicely to the setting. 136 E. Grayson St., (210) 2237375, thehotelemma.com.

88. Sparky’s Pub

91. TBA

Modeled after an old English pub, Sparky’s brings all the neighborhood bar accoutrements — pool, darts, TVs, laidback vibes — into a gay context. Quite possibly the most popular (and straight-friendliest) outpost on the Main Strip, it’s Cheers-like in the off hours and packed with a diverse crowd of LGBTQ+ folks and allies on weekend nights. In addition to a solid happy hour with $2.25 wells and domestics from 3-10 p.m. daily, Sparky’s gets campy and competitive with occasional trivia nights themed after pop divas (Selena, Britney, Adele) and emceed by amusingly dubbed taco enthusiast Elizabitch. If you only hit up one spot on the Strip, make it Sparky’s and you’ll inevitably see the whole scene cruise by. 1416 N. Main Ave., (210) 320-5111, sparkyspub.com.

89. The Squeezebox

Located in a former floral shop, The Squeezebox’s 2016 brought a welcome Puro San Anto vibe to the revitalized St. Mary’s Strip. The cantina-like vibe, fun drink specials, live music and DJs have made it a prime pre-pandemic draw, and the crowds are certainly coming back. Even on busy nights, bar service is quick and efficient, and when things slow down, the staff members have the bartending chops to mix up something special. A neon sign hanging inside reads “Lost her to the Strip.” With The Squeezebox as one of the nightlife district’s star attractions, it’s easy to see why. 2806 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 3148845, facebook.com/thesqueezebox.

90.Sternewirth Tavern and Club Room Most bar designers would kill for the opportunity to slip a “tavern and club room” into a 19th- century industrial space with 25-foot ceilings and assorted brewing paraphernalia that could be repurposed as cozy seating nooks. Sternewirth’s designers made the most of all those opportunities, and the result is the city’s most jaw-dropping imbibing environment. A salacious story involving a philandering brewing magnate and his “three Emmas” doesn’t hurt, either. Thankfully, it’s not

TBA had some big shoes to fill when it moved into the spot previously occupied by legendary conjunto venue Salute. While the vibe is nothing like the sadly departed Salute, it works on its own terms thanks to affordable and approachable cocktails, a patio that provides prime gawking at St. Mary’s Strip shenanigans and a dimly lit ambiance (pay no attention to what’s going on over in that corner). The happy hour featuring $5 cocktails, including a formidable Old Fashioned and daiquiri, is certainly nothing to sneeze at either. 2801 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 320-1753, tbasatx.com.

92. Texan II

When a bar boasts a Wednesday special billed as “whiskey & shit,” you know you’ve stepped into a legitimate dive. This Travis Park-adjacent drinkery may have a bit of a funky aroma, but don’t let that deter you from people watching through the large windows while the jukebox keeps spinning the hits. Or saddle up to the pool tables and challenge some regulars to a few games — whatever your pastime, it’s a great place to lose yourself downtown and avoid the tourists. 114 Jefferson St., (210) 212-6442, yelp.com/biz/the-texan-iisan-antonio.

93. Thursty Turtle

There’s no whiff of pretension at all about this Northeast San Antonio bar connected to a convenience store. Popular with service-industry folks, it’s a dive that’s dingy and well-worn in the best of ways — and what’s not to like about a place that serves strong drinks and lets its happy hour run until 8 p.m.? You’ll find expected bar diversions such as pool, darts and TVs tuned in to sporting events, but the friendliness of the staff and their apparent inability to put on airs make this a standout. 626 NE Loop 410 Loop, (210) 820-3600, facebook.com/thethurstyturtle.

94. Three Star Bar

The latest drinkery from acclaimed San Antonio cocktailers Jeret Peña and Rob Gourlay serves up approachable

libations in a no-fuss atmosphere. The new Government Hill-area bar has been billed as a “neighborhood, oldtimey dad bar,” meaning it’s decked out with neon beer signs, stained glass lamps, vintage trophies and a pinball machine. Mixed drinks include Moscow Mules and Peña’s “hoodrat” spin — his words, not ours — on the gin and tonic, which calls for pickle juice. 521 E. Grayson St., okayestbar.com.

95. Tony’s Siesta

Relative newcomer Tony’s Siesta oozes tio vibes y puro SA attitude, aiming to preserve the comfortable atmosphere of the previous spot that occupied the space — the revered downtown watering hole Tony’s Bar. New proprietor Andy Palacios, a seasoned vet of the local bar scene, aims to embrace the growth of the Alamo City as a food and beverage destination with easygoing vibes, ample outdoor space and liquid treats that range from tequila to beer to boozy aguas frescas. The old-school feel makes it easy to spend way more time than you originally anticipated. And that’s a sign of a damned good bar, isn’t it? 206 Brooklyn Ave., (210) 2274551, facebook.com/TonysSiesta.

96. Tucker’s Kozy Korner

This East Side staple originally opened in 1948, and it’s since become a San Antonio cocktail and music institution that draws patrons from all over the city. Decorated with framed magazine covers of Muhammad Ali, James Brown and Miles Davis, this cozy lounge makes a history-filled backdrop for classic cocktails, a dozen domestic and imported beers and wine by the glass. Live music is still a staple at the indoor-outdoor spot, which hosts acts ranging from acoustic singer-songwriters to funk bands. 1338 E. Houston St., (726) 999-3764, facebook.com/ tuckersbarsa.

peers into the heart of downtown or the Museum Reach of the river and the sometimes-low-key bar inside comes alive with karaoke or live performances. 10 10th St., (210) 223-4581, vfwpost76. org.

98. Who’s Who Cocktails

The unassuming interior of this nightspot may not scream “upscale,” but when you’re just looking for no-nonsense cocktails and karaoke, what does that matter? The narrow bar is great for mingling and enjoying the karaoke show while sipping on craft beer or a well-concocted mixed drink. Get there early for a seat at the bar, as the space fills up quickly, especially on weekend evenings. However, the small front patio makes for a fine respite from the crowd, should you need one. 1711 Babcock Road, (210) 973-5055, facebook.com/ whoswhococktails.

99. The Winchester

The owners of this Alamo Heights establishment sure didn’t redo much when they opened in the now-defunct The Lion & Rose British Restaurant and Pub that previously occupied the space. And that’s just fine. The interior, heavy on wood and brass, fits the British pub feel perfectly, and that’s only augmented by the soccer paraphernalia adorning the walls and tap beer selection, which includes real-deal selections such as Smithwick’s and Fuller’s London Pride. The grub is appropriately pubby too. You’ll find fish and chips, bangers and mash and other tried-andtrue faves nestled in with locally influenced favorites including chorizo-studded Scotch eggs. 5148 Broadway, (210) 721-7768, thewinchesterpubsa.com.

100. Zombies

97. VFW Post 76

More than a decade ago, a few youthful imbibers discovered a watering hole where they could unwind after work and wanted to guard their secret spot on the San Antonio River. The open-to-the-public bar at VFW Post 76, which received its charter from the U.S. Congress in 1917 for veterans of the Spanish-American War, was too good to remain a secret. Now folks from all walks of life sit shoulder-to-shoulder with veterans of foreign wars from Korea to Iraq. The outdoor beer garden sacurrent.com | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | CURRENT

food in which Tucci declares his love for the Ryan Reynolds-owned Aviation gin, is curiously casual. He uses his hands as a strainer, for example. At the risk of seeming uptight, I picked the printed recipe. Tucci’s method involves adding ice and a half ounce of dry vermouth — he uses Dolin Dry — to a mixing glass, stirring, resting, stirring again, dumping the vermouth but keeping the ice. He then adds 2-3 ounces of gin, then repeats the stirring and resting and finally strains into a chilled glass. He doesn’t mention what glass, but a classic Martini shape is pictured. For garnish, he recommended skewered olives — one or three, but never two, he asserts — or a lemon twist. Is this mere theater or does it result in a superior Martini?

A lot of work

Martini Madness

Turns out, making the perfect one is a lot of work BY RON BECHTOL

he Martini may well be the most discussed, maligned and fetishized spirituous drink out there — and the craziness didn’t start with Mad Men-era two-ormore-Martini lunches. As early as 1896 the cocktail as we more-or-less know it today was mentioned in a book titled Stuart’s Fancy Drinks and How to Mix Them. Its formula was a 1:3 ratio between dry, French vermouth and gin ratio. The only additions were bitters and lemon zest. Others say the drink originated earlier, in the California town of Martinez during the Gold Rush. One historian credits San Francisco, though, and others a New York bartender in the early 1900s. Then there’s the Italian vermouth maker Martini & Rossi that was producing its apèritif as early as

1863 and might well have lent its name to the tipple. And we haven’t even begun to discuss shaking versus stirring (stirring, of course), the inclusion of olive brine (not in my Martini, thank you) and the blasphemous substitution of vodka for gin (in which case, you might as well shake, Mr. Bond). So, let’s get started. It is pretty much agreed that the earliest recipes were “wetter” than those at your favorite watering hole. “Reverse” Martinis with more vermouth than gin were common early on, and 50-50 blends have regained some currency lately. But gradually, in the 20th Century, that ratio flipped — to the point that Winston Churchill was said to take gin straight from the freezer and nod in

CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

UnSplash / Stanislav-Ivanitskiy

the direction of France to honor the vermouth. A so-called “perfect” Martini uses equal parts dry white and the slightly sweeter “blanc” vermouth. That leads to a discussion, perhaps for another time, of other aromatized wines that might be called into action. Cocchi Americano is a personal favorite, just FYI.

Talking Tucci But to be honest, I don’t usually think about the Martini much. Or I didn’t until a recent issue of Bon Appètit landed in my pre-Thanksgiving mailbox. In it, there’s an article on actor and author Stanley Tucci’s celebration-hosting suggestions, which began with, “First, a Martini.” The preparation instructions caught my attention. Allow me to refer you to the internet for both the magazine’s recipe and Tucci’s video on “How to Make a Classic Gin Martini.” The recipe is almost absurdly precise, whereas the video,

First a word of advice: it helps to do this with a partner. One is in charge of the timer, while the other pours and stirs. Yes, comic-dramatic theater can result. I used 2½ ounces of Bombay East gin because I had it. I selected Carpano Dry vermouth over Dolin due to its affinity for the gin’s lemon grass component. But why obsess — you’re dumping the vermouth anyway, right? To my surprise, it turned out that the vermouth lingers in traces of taste and aroma. The dilution level was near perfect, and the overall result was stunningly cold and startlingly good. It was a lot of work for one martini, however. Maybe trade places with your mixing partner for number two. Or maybe just sit yourself down at the bar at Bohanan’s Prime Steaks and Seafood in downtown San Antonio and let one of the smartly suited bartenders mix a martini for you. Ask for a Hoffman House. At least one of them will know what you’re talking about. What should result is theater of the sort that only an experienced mix master can pull off: a generous slug of vermouth — no obsessive measuring here — an even more generous pour of Citadelle gin, a few shakes of orange bitters—all stirred, of course. It’s served in a coupe poured perilously close to the brim with an equally perilous swath of orange peel teetering atop. The only work required on your part is to make sure you drink it down before it warms up. Turns out that the real “perfect” martini is the one someone else makes for you.

Courtesy Photo / Bahnbrëcker Slow River Blend Whiskey

Texas whiskeys star in these warming winter cocktails BY NINA RANGEL

Bahnbrëcker Whiskey’s Only on the Weekends Our first holiday tipple features New Braunfels-based troubadour Randy Rogers’ first foray into the booze biz. Rogers’ Bahnbrëcker Slow River Blend whiskey boasts notes of lemon peel and clove, both of which line up perfectly with the season. Billed as a Hefeweizen-style whiskey, the sauce also boasts caramel and vanilla on the finish. The additions of raspberry and cranberry preserves to this cocktail really dial in the celebratory spirit.

Ingredients:

2 ounces Bahnbrëcker Slow River Blend Whiskey .75 ounce lemon juice .75 ounce simple syrup 1 bar spoon raspberry preserves 1 bar spoon cranberry preserves Lemon wheel and mint sprig for

garnish

Method:

Add raspberry and cranberry compote to bottom of rocks glass and add ice. Pour remaining ingredients over the ice and garnish with a lemon wheel and mint sprig.

The Devil Hot Toddy The hot toddy has been an American staple since at least the early 1800’s, standing the test of time with a simple lineup of booze, water and sugar. Of course, we’re fancying it up a bit with Devils River Distillery’s take on the champion of hot cocktails, The Devil Hot Toddy, which features its bourbon. Devils River’s take on the spirit eases up on the corn and doubles down on the rye, creating a combination of oak, honey and caramel flavor notes — with just the right bite expected from highrye bourbons. It may seem overly simple, but there’s a reason toddies remain popular as winter drinks. Trust us on this.

Open 3p-2a Everyday • Happy Hour 3-7pm Daily

Ingredients:

1½ ounce Devils River Bourbon Whiskey 1 Tbsp honey ½ ounce lemon juice 5 ounces hot water Lemon wedge and cinnamon stick for garnish

Method:

Boil water in a kettle or saucepan and pour 5 ounces into a mug. Let the water cool for two minutes. Add the remaining ingredients and stir.

Downtown

Family! E. Houston St.

N. Presa St.

inter is the season of warming spices and deep and the rich, complex flavors of cherry, cranberry and pomegranate. Sure, you could get your fix of traditional winter flavors from pie, but this is the Current’s Drink issue, people — we’re going the boozy route. Whether your idea of a perfect winter evening involves roasting marshmallows over a fire or binging cheesy seasonal rom coms, a cocktail makes the occasion even more special. These two whiskey-based libations supplied by a pair of Texas distilleries are sure to get you in the holiday spirit.

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CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

Idol Breaker

Singing San Antonio drag performer Ada Vox makes the jump to new reality series Queen of the Universe BY SANFORD NOWLIN

da Vox, the drag queen who grabbed the national spotlight by finishing in the top eight on the 2018 season of American Idol, is

back. First, she’s back in her native San Antonio. Following her break on Idol, the South San High School grad relocated to Hollywood to build on her career, but the tough realities of the pandemic brought her back home this fall. Beyond that, though, she’s back on TV. Vox is one of 14 international drag performers on the RuPaul-produced series Queen of the Universe, where she’s competing for a $250,000 prize. The inaugural season of the Paramount+ series kicked off Dec. 2, and new episodes air every Thursday. We called Vox to talk about the show and her work to build a singing career that transcends competition shows.

In the bio I received, it says your presence on the Queen of the Universe offers “a chance to get the redemption she’s seeking.” What redemption is that? A redemption for not going all the way on Idol?

I guess you could say so. I guess, it’s more in terms of getting the redemption of not just being some token LGBT or drag person on a TV show that catered to Middle America, and actually getting to come back and truly show the real me.

Lip syncing is a more common form of drag performance than actual singing, and Queen of the Universe is being billed as the

music Credit

first singing competition for drag performers. How much credit do you give your turn on Idol for making this new series possible? I don’t think I can take an abundance of credit, but … I think I was to some extent a factor in them realizing that it would be beneficial for there to be a space. And that there is a market for people like myself in the industry.

How familiar are you with the other performers you’ll be competing against?

Well, as many people may know, singing drag queens are not exactly at every street corner. We’re a little harder to find. I believe about half the cast has been successful on other television shows. You know who they are in the community. I went in knowing people — Lagoona Bloo, Leona Winter and of course Jujubee. All of us that have been on TV shows before and are partially or wholly known for singing. So, when I went in, I saw those faces and I said, “OK, this is going to get real good.” Because I know that these girls are very well known, very successful and very talented in their own rights.

Is that daunting?

I firmly believe that I am great at what I do. And I don’t let myself get intimidated by other people because I’m fully aware of my skillset. I know what I’m capable of in every aspect of what I do. And I know that I also always have room to grow. So, instead of being intimidated or worried about the competition, I look at all of it as an experience to learn and to just put my best foot forward no

matter what. No matter how anyone else is doing. It’s my show. And I keep saying, “I am there to compete with myself and nobody else.” And that mindset has kept me very levelheaded in not being concerned or letting the competition aspect get to me.

Back when you talked to us in 2019, you were developing songwriting partnerships and doing some recording. How’s that going? Are there releases people can check out?

Well, I do actually have three singles released, but there was a problem, and her name was Coronavirus. I had moved to Los Angeles, and I was in the process of lining things up to record my first album. To record music videos. To start a talk show. To do all kinds of wonderful things to take a big step forward in my career. But I was doing that all right around that February-March period [of 2020] and getting it situated for the summer. When the pandemic hit that March, it started canceling all my tours. Started canceling everything. We were on lockdown. So, when that all happened, everything just completely flatlined for me, unfortunately. So, now I’m having to rebuild back from ground zero, and then Queen of the Universe showed itself to me. And I said, “You know what? I think this is the reawakening for me to really focus again and move forward with the things I had originally planned.”

What do you ultimately see as your goal as a musical performer?

I want to be a successful mainstream artist, and I want to be releasing music that allows me to sell out arenas around the world. I want to be someone who sings a James Bond theme song. I want to be considered, potentially, the voice of my generation. There are so many things that I want to do musically, and I see big things for myself. These competition shows are a step ladder to help me get where I need to go.

Reminder:

Although live events have returned, the COVID-19 pandemic is still with us. Check with venues to make sure scheduled events are still happening, and please follow all health and safety guidelines.

WE ARE WORKING TO LEARN HOW EXERCISE IMPROVES HEALTH AND WE NEED YOUR HELP!

come together Where good friends

for the holidays!

2417 N St Mary's St, San Antonio, TX 78212 |

Be Part of a National Movement to Discover Exercise! The study measures the changes that occur during and after exercise. This will help researchers learn how exercise improves health. We are looking for volunteers who: · Are 18 years of age or older. · Exercise 1 time a week or less. · Have no history of diabetes or heart disease. · Would like to have an opportunity to exercise with a personal trainer for 12 weeks and have study-related health exams at UT Health San Antonio.

The Molecular Transducers of Physical Activity Consortium (MoTrPAC) is supported by the NIH Common Fund through cooperative agreements managed by the National Institute of Diabetes and Digestive and Kidney Diseases, National Institute of Arthritis and Musculoskeletal Diseases and National Institute on Aging.

*Volunteers will be compensated for their participation

CALL 210-450-3333

Email motrpac-dl@uthscsa.edu or Visit:www.motrpac.org/join For more information please contact the study team at the Sam and Ann Barshop Institute for Longevity and Aging Studies at UT Health San Antonio 40

CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

/JoeysSanAntonio

E M P LOY M E N T Sr. Automation Quality Assurance Engineer sought by NCS Pearson, Inc., in San Antonio, TX. 40 hrs./wk. Main responsibilities include: Create test plans and use cases to ensure adequate coverage. Design test strategies for different applications, web, mobile, API. Creation of adequate frameworks to test different products of the organization. Execute functional, performance, application, and regression tests. Implement automation solutions to reduce manual efforts implementing high end technology solutions via UI Web or APIs using latest technologies and open source tools for development, and monitoring. Build technical solutions, creation of automation frameworks maintenance and enhancements of all test development solutions. Performance testing responsibilities such as determine performance testing strategy based on performance requirements from Product and Development. Build and Maintain a scalable, configurable performance test including API testing, load and stress testing. Work independently to define problems, collect data, establish facts, draw valid conclusions and escalate as needed. Provide visible metrics indicating test coverage and defect trends, analysis of test results and graphs to provide value responses to business and modify defects before releasing the product. Collaborate with UX Designers, BAs, QA engineers, and product owners to develop continuous product enhancements and releases. Collaboration with business stakeholders implementing QA processes, with good communication skills to understand and analyze technology problems and be able to build solutions that provide a positive impact in the organization. Revamp/rewire the existing automation infrastructure to deliver a stable and scalable automation architecture for API/UI/Mobile needs. Actively contribute in code and design walkthroughs of automated testing implementations across the division. Develop scripts that perform well and can run in parallel for faster delivery. Foster our end-to-end testing approach across multiple applications. Partner with geographically distributed teams to plan our future QA tooling and technology decisions. Home Benefit Available in the San Antonio, TX MSA area. Requires a Bachelor’s degree in Computer Science, Software Engineering, or related field, or foreign equivalent; and 5 years of technical experience building automated solutions. 5 years developing, executing, and maintaining automated test scripts. 5 years’ experience with testing services (preference given to recent experience with REST/WebAPI). 3 years’ experience with Appium for automating web, native and hybrid apps on iOS & Android. 5 years’ experience Selenium for automating browser-based apps. 3 years’ experience of conducting performance, load and stress testing. Understanding of manual, automation, regression, performance testing role. 5 years of experience working in an Agile and Waterfall environment. 5 years of experience with Atlassian Tools (Bitbucket and Jira). Understanding of CI/CD practices with tools like Jenkins, and Travis. Reply with resume to: Balaji Balagurumoorthy, NCS Pearson, Inc., 19500 Bulverde Rd., #201, San Antonio, TX 78259; or apply at https://Pearson.jobs.

music listings Wednesday, December 15

The Spits Before Seattle birthed grunge, it was host to a thriving punk scene. The Spits made sure they were a part of the latter during a time where bands like Nirvana and Pearl Jam were hogging the spotlight. Originally from Michigan, the band eventually moved to the West Coast to pursue their hard-touring, low-budget “punk for the people,” and they’re after it 30 years later. $14-$16, 7 p.m., Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com. — Brianna Espinoza Austin Meade The New Braunfels Americana artist and his band will perform songs from his most recent rock-heavy album, aptly titled Black Sheep. Kolton Moore will open the night with his own brand of country rock. $20, 8 p.m., Sam’s Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com. — Enrique Bonilla

Austin Meade

though Bemis’ open struggles with mental health and drugs have lent a “we’ll see” quality to much of his career. His music runs the gamut from emo to indie rock to pop punk. Bemis said this gig is an “opportunity to see a sweaty Jew attempt to age gracefully live, with singing…!” Coolest side note ever: he also writes for Marvel Comics. Yep. 7 p.m., $18-$22, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx. com. — MM Robert Earl Keen’s The Road to Christmas It’s that time of year again. Texas alt-country mainstay Robert Earl Keen’s annual Christmas tour is coming back to town. Armed with a guitar, a raspy voice, a Santa’s sack full of memorable songs and a hankering for eggnog, Keen creates his own brand of Christmas cheer that Texans love. $30-$49.50, 8 p.m., Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com. — BE Wristmeetrazor If you jumped into a time machine, went back to the mid-2000s heyday of metalcore, added some gothic aesthetics and feelings of darkness and despair, you’d be able to recreate Wristmeetrazor. With three prominent vocalists, each brings their own harsh style to the band’s arm-flailing, mosh pit-inducing songs. $15, 7 p.m., Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com. — BE

Saturday, December 18

Facebook / Austin Meade

Thursday, December 16 William Tyler Though he got his start in indie legends Lambchop and Silver Jews, Tyler has become more well-known for his critically acclaimed solo acoustic guitar work. His all-instrumental music is challenging to describe, though descriptors often include “lush,” “cosmic” and “ambient.” Even though the sound is different, Tyler’s output channels the spirit of Leo Kottke and John Fahey. $20, 7 p.m., Lonesome Rose, 2114 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 455-0233, thelonesomerose. com. — Mike McMahan Duel, Crypt Trip, White Dog Austin’s Duel is no stranger to San Antonio, having steadily built a following here for its heavy psych rock with a touch of classic doom thrown into the mix. San Marcos’ Crypt Trip and White Dog from Schertz get the show going with sounds complementing Duel’s ’70s-inspired stoner riffage. $10-$15, 8 p.m., Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx. com. papertigersatx.com. — EB

Friday, December 17 Max Bemis Before you say anything about this show, note that Max Bemis is the frontman for, well, Say Anything. That project is currently on hiatus,

Robert Earl Keen

Donovan Melero Although primarily known as the lead vocalist and drummer for the mathy post-hardcore band Hail the Sun, Donovan Melero is also a solo artist whose music floats and relies more heavily on the strength of his voice than progressive musical chops. After overcoming addiction at a young age, Melero now lives through his music and helps book tours for other striving bands. $16-$18, 8 p.m., Vibes Event Center, 1211 E. Houston St., (210) 255-3833, facebook.com/ VIBESEventCenter. — BE ZEUS. El Mero Necio Formerly known as Carlton Zeus, this hiphop performer will bring his original tunes to a North Side venue better known for cover acts and live-band karaoke. It will be a night full of meaning for ZEUS, since this is his first show since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic and will also feature a full performance of his pending LP Tejano Revival. It will also be filmed. “I grew up in Brownsville, obsessed with the soundtracks of every quinceañera and backyard BBQ: Freddy Fender, Selena, El Grupo Mazz and La Mafia,” ZEUS said of his music, which brings a distinct South Texas vibe to the hip-hop genre. “I wanted to bring that all together.” 8 p.m., $20, Picks Bar, 4553 N. Loop 1604 West, (210) 253-9220, picksbar.com. — MM Grupo Fantasma This Austin-based Latin funk ensemble has been active for more than 20 years, moving bodies with its big-band sound — nine pieces, in fact. The band’s last album American Music: Vol. VII was released in 2019. $20, 9 p.m., Sam’s Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com. — EB

Facebook / Robert Earl Keen

Saturday, December 18 Sunday, December 19 Khruangbin One of the most eclectic acts to achieve widespread success, Khruangbin swirls together Asian surf rock, Jamaican dub, Thai funk and more to create a style that’s been described as heavily influenced by Quentin Tarantino soundtracks. The group’s initial work was largely instrumental, though its most recent release, Mordechai, features vocals. Khruangbin’s hard-to-pigeonhole sound has earned it high-profile festival slots and allowed it to open for Phish mainman Trey Anastasio, with whom they have appeared onstage. Also worthy of note is guitarist Mark Speer’s incredible haircut. $44.50-$58.50, 8 p.m., Tobin Center, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter. org. — MM

Thursday, December 23 Nina Diaz Hometown hero Nina Diaz is hunkering down

Nina Diaz

for the final night of her December residency at 502 Bar. Since Girl in a Coma called it quits in 2018, the singer-guitarist has focused on her solo career and will perform with a twopiece setup augmented by backing tracks she created. Diaz, who recently appeared on the acclaimed Elvis Costello tribute LP Spanish Model, will showcase material from her upcoming, second solo LP. In addition, expect this performance to feature a “holiday-inspired” setlist. Tis the season and all. Free, 9 p.m., 502 Bar, 502 Embassy Oaks #138, (210) 257-8125, 502bar.com. — MM

Sunday, December 26 Ruben V San Antonio-based road warrior Ruben V stays busy — 120-days-on-the-road-annually busy. When the master blues guitarist is home, he writes, produces and is a family man. Sometimes, like this one, he even plays gigs. $12, 9 p.m., Sam’s Burger Joint, 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com. — EB

Tuesday, December 28 Toadies, Reverend Horton Heat If your radio dial has landed on KISS-FM during the past three decades, there’s a good chance you’ve heard the Toadies’ song “Possum Kingdom.” Known for fusing grungy guitars with radio-ready hooks, these North Texans are still popping out albums similar to the ’90s releases that put them on the map. Another North Texas staple from that decade’s alternative-rock boom, the Reverend Horton Heat, will warm up the crowd with a “Psychobilly Freakout” featuring turbocharged guitar licks and pounding upright bass. $27.50-$39.50, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com. — BE

Facebook / @jorgesatx

sacurrent.com | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | CURRENT

Where ALL GUYS come together Visit www.squirt.org today to join the action

CURRENT | December 15 – December 28, 2021 | sacurrent.com

The perfect holiday gift awaits at Historic Market Square. With over 100 locally owned shops, you’ll find cultural curios, artifacts, hand-crafted leather goods, and a diverse collection of traditional apparel.

Open Daily 10am-5pm Saturdays 10am-6pm

514 W. Commerce St.

MarketSquareSA.com @marketsquaresa