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in this issue San Antonio Current

Issue 18_49 /// December 5-11, 2018

Publisher: Michael Wagner Editor-in-Chief: Sanford Nowlin

Thrown to the Wolves

Editorial

Mowgli is a darker but ultimately irrelevant adaptation of ‘The Jungle Book’

Senior Editors: Bryan Rindfuss, Jessica Elizarraras Art Director: Carlos Aguilar Food & Nightlife Editor: Jessica Elizarraras Staff Writers: Chris Conde Digital Content Editor: Sarah Martinez Contributors: Alexis Alvarez , Ron Bechtol, Erik Casarez, James Courtney, Callie Enlow, Jose Garza, Dan R. Goddard, Alejandra Lopez Gonzalez, Lance Higdon, Steven G. Kellman, Hannah Lorence, Michelle C. Lorentzen, Abby Mangel, Kiko Martínez, Jeremy Martin, Kelly Merka Nelson, M. Solis, Gary Sweeney, J.D. Swerzenski, Kelsey Valadez, Erin Winch Editorial Interns: Clarence Beal, Lori Salazar, Victoria Wilson

35 Food

Heavy Heavy

San Anto is for dark beer-lovers

Advertising

37 Music

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It Came in a Dream

Marketing and Events

Local singer-songwriter Cooper Greenberg will celebrate proper debut album at the Rustic

Marketing and Events Director: Cassandra Yardeni Events Manager: Chelsea Bourque Event Coordinator: Mallory Jochen Marketing and Events Interns: Alec Salazar

Creative Services

Music Top Picks

Creative Services Manager: Tina Corbeil Graphic Designer: Samantha Serna Graphic Design Interns: Michelle Moreno, Shelby Pinto, Noemi Solis

46 Etc

Savage Love, Crossword Puzzle, Astrology, This Modern World

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Chief Executive Officer: Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers: Chris Keating, Michael Wagner VP of Digital Services: Stacy Volhein Creative Director: Tom Carlson Digital Operations Coordinator: Jaime Monzon Senior Marketing and Events Director: Cassandra Yardeni www.euclidmediagroup.com National Advertising: Voice Media Group 1-888-278-9866, vmgadvertising.com San Antonio Current 915 Dallas San Antonio, Texas 78215 sacurrent.com Editorial - (210) 227-0044 / Fax - (210) 227-7755 Display Advertising - (210) 227-0044 Fax - (210) 227-7733 Classified - (210) 227-CLAS / Fax - (210) 227-7733 The San Antonio Current is published by Euclid Media Group Verified Audit Member San Antonio Distribution – The Current is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. Get listed 1. Visit sacurrent.com 2. Click “Calendar” and then “Submit an Event” 3. Follow the steps to submit your event details Please allow 48 hours for review and approval. Event submissions are not accepted by phone. Copyright - The entire contents of the San Antonio Current are copyright 2018 by Euclid Media Group LLC. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission of the publisher is prohibited. Publisher does not assume any liability for unsolicited manuscripts, materials, or other content. Any submission must include a stamped, self-addressed envelope. All editorial, advertising, and business correspondence should be mailed to the address listed above. Subscriptions - Additional copies or back issues may be purchased at the Current offices for $1. Six-month domestic subscriptions may be purchased for $75; one-year subscriptions for $125.

10 Feature

Project Censored

The real fight against fake news: Project Censored’s top 10 censored stories BY PAU L R OS E N B E R G

07 News

Hitting Reset

San Antonio’s search for a new city manager shouldn’t take it back to business as usual

Monique Diaz Campaigns (and Wins) with a Personal Touch

20 Calendar

Our top picks for the week

28 Arts

Nuts to Crack

Dance companies, kids and parents can’t resist The Nutcracker

So Fresh, So Clean

Stand-up Brian Regan continues his rise in the comedy ranks by playing it safe

31 Screens

Stroke of Genius

At Eternity’s Gate allows viewers into the transcendent mind of artist Vincent van Gogh

Media censorship and fake news are intertwined issues. Project Censored’s annual list of censored news stories shines a light both on those that were buried by corporate media and those reshaped into propaganda. Cover: Anson Stevens-Bollen, Santa Fe Reporter Art direction: Carlos Aguilar sacurrent.com | December 5-11, 2018 | CURRENT

CALL FOR NOMINATIONS: 2019 Distinction in the Arts Awards

Nominate an outstanding San Antonian for Achievements in Arts & Culture

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FEBRUARY 1, 2019 The City of San Antonio is seeking nominations for the 2019 Distinction in the Arts Awards honorees in the fields of: Visual Arts, Performing Arts, Music, Literary Arts, Culinary Arts, Arts Patronage, and Arts Administration

Nomination Form and Information are Available at GetCreativeSanAntonio.com

CURRENT | December 5-11, 2018 | sacurrent.com

Hitting Reset San Antonio’s search for a new city manager shouldn’t take it back to business as usual BY SANFORD NOWLIN

he voters have spoken, and Sheryl Sculley is gone. Well, almost. The question now becomes what Mayor Ron Nirenberg and San Antonio’s city council should do to remedy the heartburn voters expressed when they overwhelmingly approved a charter amendment restricting future city managers’ pay and tenure. It’s easy to read those ballots solely as anger over Sculley’s $550,000-a-year paycheck, especially in a blue-collar town where — recent economic gains aside — most folks still barely scratch by. But let’s not oversimplify voters’ concerns. Many also were reacting to what they saw as an increasingly powerful manager who turned her back to ordinary constituents while pushing the agendas of developers, business and city elites. It was Sculley, after all, who overrode the Historic and Design Review Commission to allow an apartment development instead of a park next to the historic Hays Street Bridge. And, under her watch, the city continues subsidizing housing projects in center-city neighborhoods that many longtime residents just can’t afford. In a municipality the size of San Antonio, council relies heavily on the input of city staff to make decisions. Citizens need to trust the staff’s boss — that’s Sculley — to understand their concerns and factor them into the guidance they provide. But it’s clear many voters lack that trust. Councilman Greg Brockhouse has made such apprehension a centerpiece in his unfolding campaign to unseat Nirenberg — until now, a staunch Sculley defender. Brockhouse has repeatedly called for the manager’s ouster, swinging her name at the mayor like a blunt instrument. In announcing her departure, Sculley said she’s “wanted to retire for at least two years” and added that the decision was hers. Even so, political watchers say her call was certainly informed by Nirenberg’s ambition to stick around for another term. San Antonio mayors have a decades-old tradition of swapping managers as they adapt to the city’s emerging plotlines. That’s what happened in the ’80s when Henry Cisneros brought in Lou Fox to oversee his ambitious growth plans and when Phil Hardberger, Nirenberg’s mentor, hired Sculley 13 years ago to discipline a romper-room city hall. In a press statement, Nirenberg said he’ll work with council to quickly land a successor. He also said he’d look internally to fill the role. “Sheryl instilled a new level of professionalism, and developed an extraordinarily strong team of talented, dedicated executive leaders,” Nirenberg said. “Several of them are clearly qualified to assume the role of city manager.” To be sure, there are worthy candidates in the hierarchy. Deputy City Manager Peter Zanoni’s 20 years in city government and oversight of planning, bond issues and Pre-K 4 SA make him a likely contender. Assistant City Manager Carlos Contreras has also earned fans as the fix-it guy who straightened up the mismanaged Tricentennial program while keeping plenty of other balls in the air.

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The City of San Antonio

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But, for all the rhetoric about how little a $300,000 paycheck can get in a city manager, observers warn not to rule out an outside contender. The new salary limit doesn’t put us too far off from Fort Worth, for example, which paid its manager $328,000 last year, according to the Texas City Management Association. What is clear though is that whether Nirenberg and council take the inside or outside path, they should fight the temptation to replace Sculley in name only. If her successor continues to operate with the same perceived arrogance and indifference that led to last month’s vote, the city will be no better off. Nirenberg ran on the idea that city government should be more transparent and open to citizen input. As he seeks a second term and, ostensibly, works to move San Antonio in that direction, it would behoove him to find a partner willing to make the same commitment.

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Jade Esteban Estrada

GLITTER POLITICAL

Monique Diaz Campaigns (and Wins) with a Personal Touch BY JADE ESTEBAN ESTRADA

t’s late afternoon when I meet Judge-elect Monique Diaz, 34, at her campaign office on North St. Mary’s Street, and she’s aglow in the rippling aftermath of Bexar County’s blue wave. As part of that Democratic sweep, Diaz ousted 150th District Court Judge Renee Yanta, and now Diaz seems to be enjoying the bittersweet process of shutting down her general law practice and preparing for this new chapter in her life. It’s one many would say she earned through methodical hard work and sweat. For the past eight years, she’s carefully studied the craft of political campaigns through the fine lens of grassroots volunteerism. Now, as part of that new chapter, she and the state’s other newly-elected judges will head to Austin next week for what outgoing 45th District Civil Court Judge Stephani Walsh once informally called “baby judges’ school.” There, Diaz will get fitted for her robe and attend classes to familiarize her with the judicial culture she’ll need to know for her upcoming four-year term.

Diaz’s political adventure started in 2010 when she accepted an invitation to volunteer for Nico LaHood’s unsuccessful campaign against then-District Attorney Susan Reed. Though it was Diaz’s ﬁrst glimpse at the workings of a countywide campaign, she immediately sensed it wouldn’t be her last. “Politics is very funny in this town,” she says. “You work on one campaign and you become very sought-after afterwards.” In 2012, Diaz joined Sheriﬀ Amadeo Ortiz’s reelection campaign, where she discovered she enjoyed fundraising. Building on those early experiences, her campaign resume has grown to read like a Who’s Who of almost every notable Democrat of the past decade, from the local, state and national level. But it was after the election of President Donald Trump that Diaz began to feel “helpless.” As a result, she wanted to directly impact her community — and she felt her law degree, seven years in practice and extensive campaign experience could help her win election as a judge.

“You can’t change what’s happening at the top, [but] you can change what’s happening locally,” Diaz says. So, she zeroed in on the bench for the 150th District Court. “I wanted to do something to show my community that there is still compassion, [and] that people can be treated with respect and dignity, no matter where you come from, or who you love or what religion you ascribe to.” I tell her she seems to have benefited from all the fast-moving changes in society, and I also acknowledge the power of straight ballot voting, which will be eliminated in Texas, come 2020. “You’re absolutely right,” Diaz replies. “Historically, we’ve always seen that what happens federally is going to affect what happens at the bottom of the ballot.” Diaz’s knowledge of campaigning is undeniably vast. If she were to write a book about the subject, she says she would offer three key points for future candidates. “I still think that the number one thing is to work harder than anyone else,” she says after a moment of contemplation. “I think number two is simplifying your message, making [it] relatable.” As the final tip, she explains that personalizing interactions is key to outworking an opponent. “I think you know that Congressman Lloyd Doggett does this really, really well,” she says. Actually, he does, I agree, adding that I have a picture with him. Actually, it’s of us and Buster the Bus, the VIA mascot. “I’ll bet he took that picture and he printed it, signed it and sent it to you, because that’s that attention to detail,” Diaz says. At that point, I mention all the text messages she’s sent me also have a personalized and authentic feel. “I spend days sitting with my phone, personalizing text messages to people,” Diaz says. “I know my campaign manager thinks I’m crazy, but as a result of that, I was able to raise $278,000 on a first-time judicial race — because I reached out to people individually and asked for their support. I was able to have a number of events that were all pretty well attended.” Her Paella Pachanga campaign event pops to mind, even though I couldn’t attend due to a previous engagement. I remember it because the invitation she sent me via text made me feel pretty darn special. And I don’t even like paella. Though Yanta didn’t call Diaz to concede on election night, she adds that she did get a “a nice voicemail” from her opponent the day before Thanksgiving. It included an offer to meet up to discuss the inner workings of the court, which Diaz appreciated. Even so, I tell her I sense her disappointment that she didn’t get that call on election night. “I wasn’t really disappointed... Maybe a little surprised, because it is customary,” Diaz says. “But I don’t take things personally. It’s not something that I thought about for more than five seconds.” sacurrent.com | December 5-11, 2018 | CURRENT

Censorship and fake news are “intertwined issues” they write. Project Censored has long been engaged in much more than just uncovering and publicizing stories kept down and out of the corporate media. Over the years it’s added new analytical categories: sensationalist and titillating Junk Food News stories. Through it all, the list of censored stories remains central to Project Censored’s mission, which, the editors point out, can be read in two different ways, “as a critique of the shortcomings of U.S. corporate news media for their failure to adequately cover these stories, or as a celebration of independent news media, without which we would remain either uninformed or misinformed about these crucial stories and issues.” The cover art theme works at two levels, as the editors explain, which makes things more complex than might appear at first glance. First, the famous Orson Wells radio broadcast of the War of the Worlds on Oct. 30, 1938, used a number of devices to present the drama as though it were an actual crisis in progress. It became an example of the potential power of fake news in the radio media era. “The broadcast became legendary for allegedly leading to widespread panic throughout the United States,” the editors of Project Censored noted. That narrative about widespread panic is actually a more long-term form of fake news, as Jefferson Pooley and Michael J. Socolow have documented in a series of articles over the past decade. Both the audience size and degree of panic have been significantly inflated, they explained. They cited two main factors: newspaper editors, who saw radio as challenging their media dominance, and an influential media study, whose topline conclusions were at odds with some of its data.

1 GLOBAL DECLINE IN RULE OF LAW AS BASIC HUMAN RIGHTS DIMINISH

BY PAUL ROSENBERG

ake news is not a new thing. With the return of its annual list of censored stories in Censored 2019: Fighting the Fake News Invasion, Project Censored’s vivid cover art recalls H.G. Wells’ War of the Worlds. The situation today may feel as desolate as the cover art suggests. “But Censored 2019 is a book about fighting fake

CURRENT | December 5-11, 2018 | sacurrent.com

news,” editors Andy Lee Roth and Mickey Huﬀ observed in the book’s introduction. In the end, they argued that “critical media education — rather than censorship, blacklists, privatized fact-checkers, or legislative bans — is the best weapon for ﬁghting the ongoing fake news invasion.” Project Censored’s annual list of 25 censored stories, which makes up the book’s lengthy first chapter, is one of the best resources one can have for such an education.

According to the World Justice Project Rule of Law Index 2017–2018, released in January 2018, a striking worldwide decline in basic human rights has driven an overall decline in the rule of law since, October 2016, the month before Trump’s election. Fundamental rights — one of eight categories measured — declined in 71 of 113 nations surveyed. Overall, 34 percent of countries’ scores declined, while just 29 percent improved. The United States ranked 19th, down one from 2016, with declines in checks on government powers and deepening discrimination. Fundamental rights include absence of discrimination, right to life and security, due 13 6

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6 10 process, freedom of expression and religion, right to privacy, freedom of association and labor rights. “All signs point to a crisis not just for human rights, but for the human rights movement,” Yale professor of history and law Samuel Moyn told The Guardian the day the index was released. “Within many nations, these fundamental rights are falling prey to the backlash against a globalising economy in which the rich are winning. But human rights movements have not historically set out to name or shame inequality.” This reflects the thesis of Moyn’s most recent book, Not Enough: Human Rights in an Unequal World. Constraints on government powers, which measures the extent to which those who govern are bound by law, saw the second greatest declines (64 countries out of 113 dropped). This is where the United States saw the greatest deterioration, World Justice Project stated in a press release. “While all sub-factors in this dimension declined at least slightly from 2016, the score for lawful transition of power — based on responses to survey questions on confidence in national and local election processes and procedures — declined most markedly,” according to the release. The United States also scored notably poorly on several measurements of discrimination. “With scores of .50 for equal treatment and absence of discrimination (on a scale of 0 to 1), .48 for discrimination in the civil justice system, and .37 for discrimination in the criminal justice system, the U.S. finds itself ranked 78 out of 113 countries on all three subfactors,” World Justice Project stated. The four Nordic countries — Denmark, Norway, Finland and Sweden — remained in the top four positions. New Zealand, Canada and Australia were the only top 10 countries outside of Europe. “The WJP’s 2017–2018 Rule of Law Index received scant attention from US corporate media,” Project Censored noted. The only coverage they found was a Newsweek article drawing on The Guardian’s coverage. This pattern of ignoring international comparisons, across all subject matter, is pervasive in the corporate media. It severely cripples our capacity for objective self-reflection and self-improvement as a nation.

2 “OPEN-SOURCE” INTELLIGENCE SECRETS SOLD TO HIGHEST BIDDERS

In March 2017, WikiLeaks released Vault 7, a trove of 8,761 leaked confidential CIA files about its global hacking programs, which WikiLeaks described as the “largest ever publication of confidential documents on the agency.” It drew significant media attention. But almost no one noticed what George Eliason of OpEdNews pointed out. “Sure, the CIA has all these tools available,” Eliason wrote. “Yes, they are used on the public. The important

part is [that] it’s not the CIA that’s using them. That’s the part that needs to frighten you.” As Eliason went on to explain, the CIA’s mission prevents it from using the tools, especially on Americans. “All the tools are unclassified, opensource, and can be used by anyone,” Eliason explained. “It makes them not exactly usable for secret agent work. That’s what makes it impossible for them to use Vault 7 tools directly.” Drawing heavily on more than a decade of reporting by Tim Shorrock for Mother Jones and the Nation, Eliason’s OpEdNews series reported on the explosive growth of private contractors in the intelligence community, which allows the CIA and other agencies to gain access to intelligence gathered by methods they’re prohibited from using. In a 2016, report for The Nation, Shorrock estimated that 80 percent of an estimated 58,000 private intelligence contractors worked for the five largest companies. He concluded that “not only has intelligence been privatized to an unimaginable degree, but an unprecedented consolidation of corporate power inside U.S. intelligence has left the country dangerously dependent on a handful of companies for its spying and surveillance needs.” Eliason reported how private contractors pioneered open-source intelligence by circulating or selling the information they gathered before the agency employing them had reviewed and classified it, therefore, “no one broke any laws.” As a result, according to Eliason’s second article, “People with no security clearances and radical political agendas have state sized cyber tools at their disposal, [which they can use] for their own political agendas, private business, and personal vendettas.” Corporate media reporting on Vault 7 sometimes noted, but failed to focus on the dangerous role of private contractors, Project Censored pointed out — with the notable exception of a The Washington Post op-ed in which Shorrock reviewed his previous reporting and concluded that overreliance on private intelligence contractors was “a liability built into our system that intelligence officials have long known about and done nothing to correct.”

3 WORLD’S RICHEST ONE PERCENT CONTINUE TO BECOME WEALTHIER

In November 2017, Credit Suisse released its 8th Annual Global Wealth Report which The Guardian reported on under the headline, Richest 1% own half the nds. world’s wealth, study finds The wealth share of the world’s richest people increased “from 42.5% at the height of the

2008 financial crisis to 50.1% in 2017, or $140tn (£106tn),” The Guardian reported, adding that “The biggest losers … are young people who should not expect to become as rich as their parents.” “[Despite being more educated than their parents,] millennials are doing less well than their parents at the same age, especially in relation to income, home ownership and other dimensions of well-being assessed in this report,” Rohner Credit Suisse Chairman Urs Rohner said. “We expect only a minority of high achievers and those in high demand sectors such as technology or finance to effectively overcome the ‘millennial disadvantage.’” “No other part of the wealth pyramid has been transformed as much since 2000 as the millionaire and ultra-high net worth individual (known as UHNWI) segments,” the report said. “The number of millionaires has increased by 170%, while the number of UHNWIs (individuals with net worth of USD 50 million or more) has risen five-fold, making them by far the fastest-growing group of wealth holders.” There were of 2.3 million new-dollar millionaires this year, taking the total to 36 million. “At the other end of the spectrum, the world’s 3.5 billion poorest adults each have assets of less than $10,000,” The Guardian reported. “Collectively these people, who account for 70% of the world’s working age population, account for just 2.7% of global wealth.” “Tremendous concentration of wealth and the extreme poverty that results from it are problems that affect everyone in the world, but wealth inequalities do not receive nearly as much attention as they should in the establishment press,” Project Censored noted. “The few corporate news reports that have addressed this issue — including an August 2017 Bloomberg article and a July 2016 report for CBS’s MoneyWatch — focused exclusively on wealth inequality within the United States. As Project Censored has previously reported, corporate news consistently covers the world’s billionaires while ignoring millions of humans who live in poverty.”

4 HOW BIG WIRELESS CONVINCED US CELL PHONES AND WI-FI ARE SAFE

Are cell phones and other wireless devices really as safe we’ve been lead to believe? Don’t bet on it, according to decades of buried research reviewed in a March 2018 investigation for The Nation by Mark Hertsgaard and Mark Dowie. “The wireless industry not only made the same moral choices that the tobacco and fossil-fuel industries did, it also borrowed from the same public relations playbook those industries pioneered,” Hertsgaard and Dowie reported. “Like their tobacco and fossil-fuel brethren, wireless executives have chosen not to publicize what their own scientists have said about the risks of their products…. On the contrary, the industry — in America, Europe, and Asia — has spent untold millions of dollars in the past 25 15 6 sacurrent.com | December 5-11, 2018 | CURRENT

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6 13 years proclaiming that science is on its side, that the critics are quack, and that consumers have nothing to fear.” Their report comes at the same time as several new developments are bringing the issue to the fore, including a Kaiser Permanente study (published December 2017 in Scientific Reports) finding much higher risks of miscarriage, a study in the October 2017 American Journal of Epidemiology, finding increased risk for glioma (a type of brain tumor) and a disclosure by the National Frequency Agency of France that nine out of ten cell phones exceed government radiation safety limits when tested in the way they are actually used, next to the human body. As the The Nation reported, George Carlo was a scientist hired by the Cellular Telecommunications and Internet Association in 1993 to research cellphone safety and allay public fears, heading up the industry-financed Wireless Technology Research project. But he was unceremoniously fired and publicly attacked by the Cellular Telecommunications and Internet Association in 1999, after uncovering disturbing evidence of danger: Carlo sent letters to each of the industry’s chieftains on October 7, 1999, reiterating that the Wireless Technology Research project had found the following: “The risk of rare neuro-epithelial tumors on the outside of the brain was more than doubled…in cell phone users”; there was an apparent “correlation between brain tumors occurring on the right side of the head and the use of the phone on the right side of the head”; and “the ability of radiation from a phone’s antenna to cause functional genetic damage [was] definitely positive….” Carlo urged the CEOs to do the right thing and give consumers the information they need to make an informed judgment about how much of this unknown risk they wish to assume, especially since some in the industry had repeatedly and falsely claimed that wireless phones are safe for all consumers “including children.” The Kaiser Permanente study involved exposure to magnetic field non-ionizing radiation associated with wireless devices as well as cell phones and found a 2.72 times higher risk of miscarriage for those with higher versus lower exposure. Lead investigator DeKun Li warned that the possible effects of this radiation have been controversial because, “from a public health point of view, everybody is exposed. If there is any health effect, the potential impact is huge.” “The wireless industry has ‘war-gamed’ science by playing offense as well as defense, actively sponsoring studies that result in published findings supportive of the industry, while aiming to discredit competing research that raises questions about the safety of cellular devices and other wireless technologies,” Project Censored summarized. “When studies have linked wireless radiation to cancer or genetic damage,

industry spokespeople have pointed out that the ﬁndings are disputed by other researchers.” This is exact same strategy used by the tobacco and fossil fuel industries described in the 2010 book, Merchants of Doubt: How a Handful of Scientists Obscured the Truth on Issues from Tobacco Warming, by Smoke to Global Warming Naomi Oreskes and Erik Conway. While some local media have covered the ﬁndings of a few selected studies, Project Censored note, “the norm for corporate media is to report the telecom industry line — that is, that evidence linking Wi-Fi and cell phone radiation to health issues, including cancer and other medical problems, is either inconclusive or disputed…. As Hertsgaard and Dowie’s Nation report suggested, corporate coverage of this sort is partly how the telecom industry remains successful in avoiding the consequences of [its] actions.”

5 WASHINGTON POST BANS EMPLOYEES FROM USING SOCIAL MEDIA TO CRITICIZE SPONSORS

On May 1, 2017, the Washington Post introduced a policy prohibiting its employees from criticizing its advertisers and business partners, and encouraging them to snitch on one another. “A new social-media policy at The Washington Post prohibits conduct on social media that ‘adversely aﬀects The Post’s customers, advertisers, subscribers, vendors, suppliers or partners,” Andrew Beaujon reported in The Washingtonian the next month. “In such cases, Post management reserves the right to take disciplinary action ‘up to and including termination of employment.’” Beaujon also cited “A clause that encourages employees to snitch on one another: ‘If you have any reason to believe that an employee may be in violation of The Post’s Social Media Policy … you should contact The Post’s Human Resources Department.’” At the time, the Washington-Baltimore News Guild, which represents the Post’s employees, was protesting the policy and was seeking removal of the controversial parts in a new labor agreement. A follow-up report by Whitney Webb for MintPress News highlighted the broader possible censorship eﬀects, as prohibiting social media criticism could spill over into reporting as well. “Among The Washington Post’s advertisers are corporate giants like GlaxoSmithKline, Bank of America and Koch Industries,” Webb wrote. “With the new policy, social media posts criticizing GlaxoSmithKline’s habit of making false and misleading claims about its products,

inflating prices and withholding crucial drug safety information from the government will no longer be made by Post employees.” Beyond that, Webb suggested it could protect the CIA, which has $600 million contract with Amazon Web Services. Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos purchased The Post four months after that contract was signed. “While criticism of the CIA is not technically prohibited by the new policy, former Post reporters have suggested that making such criticisms could endanger one’s career,” Webb noted. He added that in 2013, former Post writer John Hanrahan told Alternet, “Post reporters and editors are aware that Bezos, as majority owner of Amazon, has a financial stake in maintaining good relations with the CIA — and this sends a clear message to even the hardest-nosed journalist that making the CIA look bad might not be a good career move.” “Corporate news coverage of The Washington Post’s social media policy has been extremely limited,” Project Censored noted. It’s part of a much broader problem, identified in Jeremy Iggers’ 1998 book, Good News, Bad News: Journalism Ethics And The Public Interest. Iggers argued that journalism ethics focused on individual reporters completely missed the larger issue of corporate conflicts whose systemic effects fundamentally undermined journalism’s role in a democracy.

6 RUSSIAGATE: TWO-HEADED MONSTER OF PROPAGANDA AND CENSORSHIP

Is Russiagate a censored story? In my view, not exactly. This entry seems to reflect a well-intentioned effort to critically examine fake news-related issues within a “censored story” framework. It’s important that these issues be raised — which is one reason why I suggested above that Project Censored add “fake news” as a new analytical category to examine annually along with its censored stories list, “junk food news,” and “news abuse.” What Project Censored calls attention to is important: “Corporate media coverage of Russiagate has created a two-headed monster of propaganda and censorship. By saturating news coverage with a sensationalized narrative, Russiagate has superseded other important, newsworthy stories.” As a frustrated journalist with omnivorous interests, I heartily concur — but what’s involved is too complex to simply be labelled “propaganda.” On the other hand, the censorship of alternative journalistic voices is a classic, well-defined Project Censored story, which suffers from the attempt to fit both together. In April 2017, Aaron Maté reported for The Intercept on a quantitative study of MSNBC’s The Rachel Maddow Show from February 20 to March 31, 2017 which found that “Russia-focused segments accounted for 53 percent of these broadcasts.” Maté wrote: “Maddow’s Russia coverage has dwarfed the time devoted to 17 6 sacurrent.com | December 5-11, 2018 | CURRENT

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CURRENT | December 5-11, 2018 | sacurrent.com

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6 15 other top issues, including Trump’s escalating crackdown on undocumented immigrants (1.3 percent of coverage); Obamacare repeal (3.8 percent); the legal battle over Trump’s Muslim ban (5.6 percent), a surge of anti-GOP activism and town halls since Trump took office (5.8 percent), and Trump administration scandals and stumbles (11 percent).” Well and good. But is this propaganda? At Truthdig, Norman Solomon wrote: “As the cable news network most trusted by Democrats as a liberal beacon, MSNBC plays a special role in fueling rage among progressive-minded viewers toward Russia’s ‘attack on our democracy’ that is somehow deemed more sinister and newsworthy than corporate dominance of American politics (including Democrats), racist voter suppression, gerrymandering and many other U.S. electoral defects all put together.” Also true. But not so much propaganda as Project Censored’s broader category of “news abuse,” which includes propaganda and spin, among other forms of “distraction to direct our attention away from what we really need to know.” To fully grasp what’s involved requires a more complex analysis. On the other hand, the censorship of alternative journalistic voices is far more clearcut and straightforward. In a report for Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting, Robin Andersen examined Russiagate-inspired censorship moves by Twitter, Google and others. A key initial target was RT. “RT’s reporting bears striking similarities to alternative and independent media content, and that is why letting the charges against RT stand unexamined is so dangerous,” Andersen noted. In fact, the government’s intelligence report on RT included its reporting on the dangers of fracking as part of its suspect activity. Beyond that, the spill-over suppression was dramatic: “Yet in the battle against fake news, much of the best, most accurate independent reporting is disappearing from Google searches,” Anderson said. “The World Socialist Web Site (8/2/17) reported that Google’s new search protocol is restricting access to leading independent, left-wing, progressive, anti-war and democratic-rights websites. The estimated declines in traffic generated by Google searches for news sites are striking.” There were declines for AlterNet.org (63 percent), DemocracyNow.org (36 percent), CounterPunch.org (21 percent), ConsortiumNews.com (47 percent), MediaMatters.org (42 percent), and TheIntercept.com (19 percent), among others. On top of that, in Rolling Stone’s Matt Taibbi pointed to much broader stifling of alternative views: “Two years ago, remember, the American political establishment was on the ropes….

“From Trump to Bernie Sanders to Brexit to Catalonia, voter repudiation of the status quo was the story of the day. The sense of panic among political elites was palpable…. “Two years later, the narrative has completely shifted. By an extraordinary coincidence, virtually all the ‘anti-system’ movements and candidates that so terrified the political establishment two years ago have since been identified as covert or overt Russian destabilization initiatives….” “We’ve jumped straight past debating the efficacy of democracy to just reflexively identifying most anti-establishment sentiment as illegitimate, treasonous and foreign in nature,” Taibbi continued. “Many people suffer when lies are reported as facts, but it seems that corporate media are the only ones that profit when they reinforce blind hostility—against not only Russia but also legitimate domestic dissent,” Project Censored noted.

7 REGENERATIVE AGRICULTURE AS “NEXT STAGE” OF CIVILIZATION

The world’s agricultural and degraded soils have the capacity to recover 50 to 66 percent of the historic carbon loss to the atmosphere, according to a 2004 paper in Science, actually reversing the processes driving global warming. A set of practices known as “regenerative agriculture” could play a major role in accomplishing that, while substantially increasing crop yields as well, according to information compiled and published by Ronnie Cummins, director of the Organic Consumers Association in May 2017. “For thousands of years we grew food by depleting soil carbon and, in the last hundred or so, the carbon in fossil fuel as well,” food and farming writer Michael Polin wrote. “But now we know how to grow even more food while at the same time returning carbon and fertility and water to the soil.” Cummins, who’s also a founding member of Regeneration International, wrote that regenerative agriculture offers a “world-changing paradigm” that can help solve many of today’s environmental and public health problems. As The Guardian explained: “Regenerative agriculture comprises an array of techniques that rebuild soil and, in the process, sequester carbon. Typically, it uses cover crops and perennials so that bare soil is never exposed, and grazes animals in ways that mimic animals in nature. It also oﬀers ecological beneﬁts far beyond

carbon storage: it stops soil erosion, re-mineralizes soil, protects the purity of groundwater and reduces damaging pesticide and fertilizer runoﬀ.” “We can’t really solve the climate crisis (and the related soil, environmental and public health crisis) without simultaneously solving the food and farming crisis,” Cummings wrote. “We need to stop putting greenhouse gas pollution into the atmosphere (by moving to 100% renewable energy), but we also need to move away from chemical-intensive, energy-intensive food, factory farming and land use, as soon as possible.” In addition to global warming, there are profound economic and social justice concerns involved. “Out-of-touch and out-of-control governments of the world now take our tax money and spend $500 billion ... a year mainly subsidizing 50 million industrial farmers to do the wrong thing,” Cummins wrote. “Meanwhile, 700 million small family farms and herders, comprising the 3 billion people who produce 70% of the world’s food on just 25% of the world’s acreage, struggle to make ends meet…. The basic menu for a Regeneration Revolution is to unite the world’s 3 billion rural farmers, ranchers and herders with several billion health, environmental and justice-minded consumers to overturn ‘business as usual’ and embark on a global campaign of cooperation, solidarity and regeneration.” If you’ve never heard of it before, don’t be surprised. “Regenerative agriculture has received limited attention in the establishment press, highlighted by only two recent, substantive reports in the New York Times Magazine and Salon,” Project Censored wrote.

8 CONGRESS PASSES INTRUSIVE DATA SHARING LAW UNDER COVER OF SPENDING BILL

On March 21, House Republicans released a 2,232page omnibus spending bill. It passed both houses and was signed into law in two days. Attached to the spending provisions that made it urgent “must-pass” legislation was the completely unrelated Clarifying Lawful Overseas Use of Data Act of 2018, also known as the CLOUD Act. “The CLOUD Act enables the U.S. government to acquire data across international borders regardless of other nations’ data privacy laws and without the need for warrants,” Project Censored summarized. It also signiﬁcantly weakens protections against foreign government actions. “It was never reviewed or marked up by any committee in either the House or the Senate,” the Electronic Frontier Foundation’s David Ruiz wrote. “It never received a hearing…. It was robbed of a stand-alone ﬂoor vote because Congressional leadership decided, behind closed doors, to attach this unvetted, unrelated data bill to sacurrent.com | December 5-11, 2018 | CURRENT

18 CURRENT | December 5-11, 2018 | sacurrent.com

the $1.3 trillion government spending bill.” Congressional leadership failed to listen to citizen concerns, Ruiz wrote, with devastating consequences: “Because of this failure, U.S. and foreign police will have new mechanisms to seize data across the globe. Because of this failure, your private emails, your online chats, your Facebook, Google, Flickr photos, your Snapchat videos, your private lives online, your moments shared digitally between only those you trust, will be open to foreign law enforcement without a warrant and with few restrictions on using and sharing your information, privacy and human rights,” concluded Robyn Greene, who reported for Just Security. “The little corporate news coverage that the CLOUD Act received tended to put a positive spin on it,” Project Censored noted. “[A glowing Washington Post op-ed] made no mention of potential risks to the privacy of citizens’ personal data, [and a CNET report that] highlighted the liberties that the CLOUD Act would provide corporations by simplifying legal issues concerning overseas servers.” Because of this failure, U.S. laws will be bypassed on U.S. soil. Greene noted that the CLOUD Act negates protections of two interrelated existing laws. It creates an exception to the Stored Communications Act that allows certified foreign governments to request personal data directly from U.S. companies. “This exception enables those countries to bypass the Mutual Legal Assistance Treaty process, which protects human rights by requiring foreign governments to work with the Department of Justice to obtain warrants from U.S. judges before they can access that data for their criminal investigations,” Greene explained. “The version of the bill that was included in the omnibus does include some improvements over the earlier version to help to mitigate the risks of bypassing the MLAT process … two changes [that] are important improvements … many of the other changes to the bill are only partial or ineffective fixes to problems privacy advocates, human rights advocates and even a former high-ranking official at the U.S. State Department have raised…. Several other concerns have been left entirely unaddressed.” “While the bill sponsors did try to address some of the concerns that have been raised, the improvements are not enough to shift the balance so that the CLOUD Act will be a boon, rather than a threat, to privacy and human rights,” Greene concluded.

9 INDIGENOUS COMMUNITIES AROUND WORLD HELPING TO WIN LEGAL RIGHTS OF NATURE

In March 2017, the government of New Zealand ended a 140-year dispute with an indigenous Maori tribe by enacting a law that oﬃcially recognized the Whanganui River, which the tribe considers their ancestor, as a living entity with rights. The Guardian reported it as “a world-ﬁrst,” although the surround-

ing Te Urewera National Park had been similarly recognized in a 2014 law, and the U.S. Supreme Court came within on vote of potentially recognizing such a right in the 1972 case Sierra Club v. Morton, expressed in a dissent by Justice William O. Douglas. In addition, the broader idea of ‘rights of nature’ has been adopted in Ecuador, Bolivia and by some American communities, noted Mihnea Tanasescu, writing for The Conversation. The tribe’s perspective was explained to The Guardian by its lead negotiator, Gerrard Albert. “We consider the river an ancestor and always have,” Albert said. “We have fought to find an approximation in law so that all others can understand that from our perspective treating the river as a living entity is the correct way to approach it, as in indivisible whole, instead of the traditional model for the last 100 years of treating it from a perspective of ownership and management.” But that could be just the beginning. “It is a critical precedent for acknowledging the Rights of Nature in legal systems around the world,” Kayla DeVault reported for YES! Magazine. Others are advancing this perspective, DeVault wrote: “In response to the Standing Rock Sioux battle against the Dakota Access pipeline, the Ho-Chunk Nation of Wisconsin amended its constitution to include the Rights of Nature. This is the first time a North American tribe has used a Western legal framework to adopt such laws. Some American municipalities have protected their watersheds against fracking by invoking Rights of Nature.” “[If the New Zealand Whanganui River settlement] was able to correct the gap in Western and indigenous paradigms in New Zealand, surely a similar effort to protect the Missouri River could be produced for the Standing Rock and Cheyenne River nations by the American government,” DeVault wrote. The same could be done with a wide range of other environmental justice disputes involving Native American tribes. Tanasescu described the broader sweep of recent developments in the “rights of nature,” noting that significant problems have resulted from the lack of specific guardianship provisions, which are integral to the Whanganui River law. “By granting natural entities personhood one by one and assigning them specific guardians, over time New Zealand could drastically change an ossified legal system that still sees oceans, mountains and forests pri-

marily as property, guaranteeing nature its day in court,” Tanasescu concluded. “A few corporate media outlets have covered the New Zealand case and subsequent decisions in India,” Project Censored noted. “However, these reports have not provided the depth of coverage found in the independent press or addressed how legal decisions in other countries might provide models for the United States.”

10 FBI RACIALLY PROFILING “BLACK IDENTITY EXTREMISTS”

At the same time that white supremacists were preparing for the “Unite the Right” demonstration in Charlottesville, which resulted in the murder of Heather Heyer in August 2017. The FBI’s counterterrorism division produced an intelligence assessment warning of a very different — though actually non-existent threat: “Black Identity Extremists.” The report appeared to be the first time the term had been used to identify a movement, according to Foreign Policy magazine, which broke the story. “But former government officials and legal experts said no such movement exists, and some expressed concern that the term is part of a politically motivated effort to find an equivalent threat to white supremacists,” Foreign Policy reported. “The use of terms like ‘black identity extremists’ is part of a long-standing FBI attempt to define a movement where none exists,” said former FBI agent Mike German, who now works for the Brennan Center for Justice. “Basically, it’s black people who scare them.” “It’s classic Hoover-style labeling with little bit of maliciousness and euphemism wrapped up together,” said William Maxwell, a Washington University professor working on a book about FBI monitoring of black writers. “The language — black identity extremist — strikes me as weird and really a continuation of the worst of Hoover’s past.” “There is a long tradition of the FBI targeting black activists and this is not surprising,” Black Lives Matter activist DeRay McKesson told Foreign Policy. A former homeland security official told them that carelessly connecting unrelated groups will make it harder for law enforcement to identify real threats. It’s so convoluted — it’s compromising officer safety, the former official said. “The corporate media [has] covered the FBI report on ‘black identity extremists’ in narrow or misleading ways,” Project Censored noted, citing examples from the New York Times, Fox News and NBC News. “Coverage like this both draws focus away from the active white supremacist movement and feeds the hate and fear on which such a movement thrives.” sacurrent.com | December 5-11, 2018 | CURRENT

FRI | 12/7 BURLESQUE

CHRISTMAS BURRR-LESQUE SHOW

Tirelessly “bumping and grinding all over the city of San Antonio since 2011,” the bubbly, bodacious, body-positive Pastie Pops burlesque troupe serves up sizzling, seasonal performances that combine classic tease, contemporary interpretations, bawdy comedy, boy-

lesque, drag and fun-loving surprises that hearken to the vaudevillian era. Comprised of ringleader Jasper St. James (the “big and tall that bares it all”), “living doll” Mary Annette, contemporary tease Elle Du Jour, Vixy Van Hellen (the “bare bottom of Bexar County”) and drag king Mustang Ryder, the Pops have come into their own in recent years — picking up top honors in our Best of San Antonio readers’ poll and upping their game with fully staged shows while maintaining an ap-

THU | 12/6 - TUE | 12/11

TH EATER

proachable, intimate presence at their Southtown base, Sexology Institute. A tradition initiated at Boneshakers circa 2011, the Pops’ annual Christmas Burrr-lesque Show is set to deck the halls of the Aztec Theatre with a racy revue set to live music by Alyson Alonzo & The Romantics. “There is something to be said about performing to live music,” St. James told the Current. “It allows for us as performers to get more personal with our audience and really feel the music with our bodies. It also gives the audience a glimpse of what a burlesque show may have felt like back in the 1940s and ’50s.” Concocted in the vintage-inspired vein of Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox, the yuletide spectacle combines old-school

Christmas favorites, “sultry jazz versions” of hits such as “Toxic” by Britney Spears, “Oh! Darling” by The Beatles and “Criminal” by Fiona Apple, all-new props and costumes, the comedic stylings of emcee Camille Toe (“the one you want to pick”), fan favorites like St. James’ “Milk and Cookies for Santa” routine, and performances by Seattle-based “mermaid queen” Lucy Lips and special guest headliner Medianoche — a New York-based stunner who’s been dubbed “Sin in an Hourglass” and crowned Miss Exotic World and Queen of Burlesque at the Burlesque Hall of Fame in Las Vegas last year. $20-$50, doors at 7pm, show at 8pm, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com. — Bryan Rindfuss

Matthew Murphy

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

Since the chandelier first crashed onto the stage in 1986, The Phantom of the Opera has left an indelible mark on theater culture worldwide. Now a touring company mainstay, Andrew Lloyd Webber’s adaptation of Gaston Leroux’s 1910 novel transforms the modern theater into a haunted Parisian opera house for each performance, an effect that will certainly be amplified when the curtain opens under the Majestic Theatre’s gilded proscenium. The latest touring production, under the direction of Cameron Mackintosh, pulls out all the bells and whistles, using special effects to evoke maximum effect in the musical’s many famous moments. Faithful fans of Webber’s original vision will be glad to see that the effects only seek to amplify — not overshadow — the original story. Come for the sparks, and stay for the “Music of the Night.” $45-$220, 2pm & 7:30pm Thu, 8pm Fri, 2pm & 8pm Sat, 2pm & 7:30pm Sun, 7:30pm Tue (through Dec. 16), The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-3333, majesticempire.com. — KMN Courtesy of Medianoche

20 CURRENT | December 5-11, 2018 | sacurrent.com

ART

‘DEGRADADO’ 5

In addition to their commendable eﬀorts to showcase the work of established, emerging and practically unknown San Antonio artists — from old-school photographer Joan Frederick to rising printmaker Michael Menchaca and even the talented preparators who work behind the scenes at museums and cultural institutions — Presa House Gallery co-directors Rigoberto Luna and Jenelle Esparza have introduced viewers to artists based in Brownsville, Corpus Christi, Los Angeles, New York and Mexico. For “Degradado (Gradient),” Presa House struck up a partnership with The Proyecto, an Austin-based organization dedicated to “bringing together talented artists in the ﬁelds of visual art, music and beyond to generate creative projects promoting diversity in the arts and culture.” Guest

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FRI | 12/7

Presa House Gallery

curated by The Proyecto founder and director Coka Trevino, the new group show unites artists from Austin (Christina Moser and Matthew Bonifacio Rodriguez ) and Monterrey, Mexico (Patricia Carrington, Ernesto Walker and Greometría). Other than hailing from two “uniquely creative communities” that Trevino holds dear, he explains that the included artists “share very little with each other, yet their works combined meld and transform colors into shape and dissolve rea-

son into emotions.” At the opening reception: beats by DJ Juan Alfredo “Gre” Ríos, aka El “Chido Machine.” Free, 6pm-midnight, on view by appointment through Dec. 29, Presa House Gallery, 725 S. Presa St., (210) 913-5842, www. presahouse.com. — BR SPORTS

SPURS VS. LAKERS

Barring an unforeseen post-season showdown, the Spurs tip off against LeBron James and the Los Angeles Lakers for the last time this season on Friday. In previous wins against the Lakers, LaMarcus Aldridge and DeMar DeRozan have led the way, with Aldridge scoring a season high 37 points in an overtime victory in LA back in October. After acquiring Tyson Chandler in November, effectively adding an NBA champion, Olympic gold medalist and former Defensive Player of the Year to their roster, the Lakers are a different team, particularly on the defensive end of the floor. As national hoops pundits once again decry San Antonio’s lack of youth and athleticism, the Spurs’ defense soldiers on as a porous work in progress. A sixgame home stand provides a welcome respite and opportunity for the Spurs to correct their course. $86-$2,300, 7:30pm, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center Pkwy., (210) 444-5000, attcenter. com. — M. Solis ART

‘FRUITING BODIES’ \

Jennifer Bieniek

“Fruiting Bodies,” the latest from Jennifer Bieniek, uses a mythological journey as the narrative structure upon which to map an exploration of the female reproductive cycle. The immersive installation “examines the human biological drive for procreation” and the “biological, psychological and cultural factors controlling the female reproductive system.” Featuring draped swathes of fabric in varied ﬂesh tones and biomorphic sculptural forms in shades of red that veer toward black — mimicking the blood with which women become intimately familiar over the course of their lives — the exhibition is an unapologetic look at female procreative power and how it maps onto the human condition. This work is deeply personal to Bieniek, a mother of three who has also experienced the loss of a pregnancy, and she intertwines her personal experience into her pieces to depict the intimate yet universal system. Free, 7-10pm, Flax Studio, 1420 S. Alamo St., (909) 518-2245, ﬂaxstudiosa.com. — Kelly Merka Nelson

QuarryVillageSA.com

4th annual holiday block party thursday, december 13

6-9pm

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Join Us For A Free, Family-Friendly Evening! A Gift To You From The Merchants And Shopkeepers Of Quarry Village

CHRISTMAS TREE LIGHTING | LIVE CAROLERS | FOOD + DRINK SAMPLES | HOLIDAY SALES + GIVEAWAYS FAMILY & PET FRIENDLY SANTA PHOTO STATION + A PLAY ZONE FILLED WITH REAL SNOW!

Share The Holiday Spirit with These Participating Stores cookies with Santa provided by Artessa | Soup samples at Potbelly | Happy Hour at the Shoe Club Drinks + Bites + in-store specials at Club Champion | Goodies + In store discounts at New Balance $5 Signature Martini's + Happy Hour til 9pm at Pirhana Killer Sushi | Makeovers + Beauty Samples at Avant christmas letters to Santa at Belle & Union Co. | Swag Bag Items from Rangoni Firenze Shoes 10% Off in store at Birkenstock | 10% Off Anything in Store at Scout & Molly Boutique 20% off Purchases at Hemline | FREE Chair Massages with Quarry Emergency Center & Much More!

Free Santa Photo with Canned Good Donation BENEF I TI N G SA N AN TO N I O FO O D B A N K 22

CURRENT | December 5-11, 2018 | sacurrent.com

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Diaries, which propelled him into the public eye after its 1992 broadcast on NPR’s Morning Edition, and was later adapted for the stage by Joe Mantello. The Classic Theatre has made it a holiday tradition of their own to host John Stillwagon’s performance of the one-man show, and if you’re hankering for something a bit more naughty this Christmas season, this is the show for you. If it’s not obvious by now, leave the kiddos at home — not only is Santa debearded, but anyone familiar with Sedaris will tell you his material is not suited for innocent ears. $25, 11pm Fri-Sat, 7pm Sun through Dec. 16, The Classic Theatre of San Antonio, 1924 Fredericksburg Rd., (210) 589-8450, classictheatre.org. — KMN

SAT | 12/8 SPECIAL EVEN T

THE BURTON BALL 5

Laura Tannenbaum

FRI | 12/7 - SUN | 12/9

Buena Vista Pictures

It’s once again time for San Antonians to give vent to our ongoing obsession with the quirkily macabre work of auteur Tim Burton, via the seventh annual Burton Ball. From Pee-wee’s Big Adventure to Beetlejuice, from Edward Scissorhands to The Nightmare Before Christmas, from Sweeney Todd to Big Fish, the writer/director has created a whole, delightfully dark and subversive universe in the course of his near-40year career. And, we, as a city known for being oﬀ-kilter and maybe a tad attached to all things goth, are totally here for it. This year, the Burton Ball, a party

celebrating the expansive and odd Burton-verse, is happening in December to commemorate the 25th anniversary of Burton’s beloved stop-motion animation The Nightmare Before Christmas. As in years past, this special event will feature themed decor, spooky dance music, live Burton-inspired art, art vendors, food trucks, unique drinks (for all ages), and a costume contest (also for all ages) wherein the winners across categories can nab their share of $500 in cash prizes. $5-$40, 6pm-midnight, Alamo City Music Hall, 1305 E. Houston St., eventbrite.com. — James Courtney

TH EATER

THE SANTALAND DIARIES L

It’s that time of year again — Hallmark Christmas movies are being broadcast wall-to-wall and carols are piped out of tinny speakers in every public space imaginable. If this is enough to make you batty, you’re certainly not alone. In his early 30s, much to his chagrin, David Sedaris found himself working as an elf in a Macy’s Santaland display. He chronicled his experience in the sardonic essay The Santaland

SPECIAL EVEN T

OPEN HOLIDAY MARKET

Ready or not, the season of gifting is once again upon us. And whether your personal shopping list covers dozens of family members and friends both naughty and nice or stops abruptly at an oﬃce-enforced Secret Santa, keep in mind San Antonio’s many artisan fairs and locally focused initiatives such as the OPEN Holiday Market. Representing a collaboration between property owners, homegrown retailers and San Antonio’s Center City Development and Operations Department, the seasonal favorite activates dormant downtown storefronts with pop-ups “encouraging the community to shop locally.” Although previously scattered between various outposts downtown, this year’s edition of OPEN promises a user-friendly browsing experience at one address populated by more than a dozen participating vendors offering vintage and modern duds (Bohemian Gemme, Flor Boutique, J Lacel Boutique, Red Cat & Co.), jewelry and accessories (Lirica, Love Art Style, Lulo Texas), not to mention chocolatey confections from Hernan, cruelty-free skincare via Honeydipped Cosmetics and one-of-a-kind pieces from Marta Francine, Meechi Ceramics and DiZurita. Free, noon-8pm Fri-Sat, 1-7pm Sun through Dec. 16, 231 E. Houston St., (210) 207-3914, facebook.com/ opensanantonio. — BR

FRI | 12/7 - SUN | 12/9 OPEN Downtown Pop Up Shops

sacurrent.com | December 5-11, 2018 | CURRENT

Happy Holidays

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FROM SANDY OAKS OLIVE ORCHARD T R E E S 4 O L I V E O I L 4 C U L L I N A RY D E L I G H T S 4 S K I N C A R E P R O D U C T S

Dan Payton SPECIAL EVENT

LA GRAN TAMALADA Jessica Pliez

SAT | 12/8 ART

‘BALADES PARISIENNES’

25195 Mathis Road, Elmendorf, TX 78112 | 210-621-0044 | sandyoaks.com

CURRENT | December 5-11, 2018 | sacurrent.com

Assorted monsters, quirky canines, bumble bees with human skulls for heads, two-headed bears, rabbits dragging their own hearts and mushroom-cat hybrids are among the beasties that populate the odd universe of Jessica Pliez, a French street artist who works between photography, drawing, painting and printmaking. Although she draws inspiration from her upbringing (amid the culinary scene) and adult life in Paris, the sights and sounds she describes in her autobiographical text “Balades Parisiennes (Parisian Strolls)” aren’t exactly hallmarks of her imaginative work. Instead, the melancholy members of Pliez’s mutant bestiary suggest their own poetic narratives to be interpreted by passersby who encounter her curious offerings affixed to walls, street signs, nooks, crannies and corners throughout the City of Lights. While teaching a class in Paris, former San Antonio resident Sean FitzGibbons (who’s currently serving as director of the Meadows Museum of Art at Centenary College in Shreveport, Louisiana) came across an exhibition of Pliez’s work and then started noticing it on his own strolls through the city. The result of this chance discovery takes shape this Second Saturday as the new Dock Space Gallery Annex opens its doors for “Balades Parisiennes,” a solo show highlighting Pliez’s print-based street art as well as the mysteriously layered, “fictional” self-portraits she shoots on Polaroid film. Free, 7-10pm, Dock Space Gallery Annex, 107 Lone Star Blvd., (210) 723-3048, dockspacegallery.com. — BR

With the holiday season in full swing, San Antonians will be wise to save the date for this year’s La Gran Tamalada. Put on by Cariño Cortez (of La Familia Cortez that runs Mi Tierra, Pico de Gallo, La Margarita and Viva Villa) and the folks at the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center, the annual festival is its biggest offering to date. The family-friendly event, a tradition for many locals, brings tamales to the forefront with workshops, lectures and entertainment as well as food and artisan vendors. “Whether it’s in the community or in your home, tamaladas are all about sharing memories and culture with the people around you,” Cortez said in a press release. “By hosting this event in Market Square, we’re inviting people into my family’s home and helping to preserve cultural culinary traditions.” Along with the Cortez family, Mayor Ron Nirenberg and his family will kick off the event at 11:30 a.m. with a tamalada demonstration and skit. There will be demonstrations every 30 minutes, so attendees can learn from the tamal pros and even take some home. Abuelas leading the demonstrations will teach everything you need to know about the ingredients while serving up the inside scoop about different methods. There will also be a special area for kids, courtesy of the San Antonio Public Library. Activities will include bilingual storytime, library lotería, tamal education, crafts and a photo op with Pancho Claus. The fest, which outgrew its longtime location at the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center, will return to Market Square for a second year. The plaza and surrounding area will be filled with live music throughout the day. As always, the festival is free and open to the public. Free, 11am-7pm, Market Square, 514 W. Commerce St., (210) 207-8600, guadalupeculturalarts.org. — Sarah Martinez

calendar ART

Art Opening: “In A Room Full Of Art, I’d Still Stare At You” FL!GHT showcases the work of Michael Esparza, a multimedia artist whose previous projects have addressed lost love and involved “thousands of origami cranes poignantly fashioned from a hospital bill.” In the gallery’s back room: three previously unseen paintings from self-taught artist Sam Wilson’s Trash Series. Free, 6-10pm ThursdayFriday; FL!GHT Gallery, 112 Blue Star, (210) 872-2586.

Art Opening: “Unspoiled Territories” Known to utilize “the unknown to let our imaginations go fill the mystery/blackbox,” local artist and UTSA MFA candidate Hiromi Stringer debuts a thesis exhibition comprising idea proposals, installations and drawings. Free, 6-9pm Thursday-Friday; Terminal 136, 136 Blue Star, (210) 758-6246.

Fall 2018 BFA Exhibitions Fifteen BFA candidates attending UTSA present exhibitions addressing themes ranging from “social and cultural critique to ... exquisite explorations in creative form and image.” Free, 10am-4pm Wednesday-Friday, 1-4pm Saturday, 10am-4pm Tuesday; UTSA Art Gallery Main Campus, One UTSA Circle, (210) 458-4391. FI LM

On the Basis of Sex Bank of America presents a free screening of Mimi Leder’s 2018 Ruth Bader Ginsburg biopic (starring Felicity Jones as Ginsburg), to be preceded by a panel discussion (moderated by Molly Cox) focusing on San Antonio’s recently passed Women’s Equity Resolution. Free, 6pm, Regal Northwoods, 17640 Henderson Pass, (844) 462-7342. TH EATER

All Is Calm: The Christmas Truce of 1914 Christmas Eve, 1914: hunkered down in the trenches, British soldiers begin to hear something unusual — instead of exploding shells, strains of the carol “Stille Nacht” begin to cross No Man’s Land as German soldiers sing to mark the holiday. Soon after, soldiers began to lay down their weapons and cross into No Man’s Land. They exchanged gifts of food and tobacco, sang together, and even buried each other’s dead. Styled as a radio musical drama, All Is Calm tells the story of the Christmas Truce through the words of those who were there, using text from “letters, journals, official war documents, poetry [and] grave stone inscriptions” among its sources. $20-$30, 7:30pm Thursday-Saturday, 2pm Sunday through December 23; The Public Theater of San Antonio, 800 W. Ashby Pl., (210) 733-7258.

Las Nuevas Tamaleras After the passing of her mother, playwright and director Alicia Mena was moved to write Las Nuevas Tamaleras, a play that honors her mother’s legacy and preserves her family’s rich cultural traditions. Since its premiere in 1990 at Houston’s Latino Playwright Festival, Las Nuevas Tamaleras has become a holiday favorite performed around the state. The oneact comedy centers on three Mexican-American women who try their hand at making tamales for the very first time. Things don’t go as planned, however, when the ghosts of legendary tamale experts Doña Juanita and Doña Mercedes decide

to pay the three tamaleras a visit. $15-25, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday; Our Lady of the Lake University, Thiry Auditorium, 411 SW 24th St., (210) 434-6711.

Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberley This playful sequel to Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice opens on the tableau of Christmas 1815, a few years after Elizabeth Bennet wed Fitzwilliam Darcy (sorry, we’re not gonna spoiler-tag a 200-year-old novel, y’all). Feeling left out as her other sisters find love, bookish middle-daughter Mary Bennet travels to the Darcys’ Pemberley estate for familial Christmas festivities. Likewise, Mr. Darcy’s shy cousin Arthur de Bourgh makes his own trek to Pemberley for the holiday, which, unbeknownst to him, will lead to a fateful meeting. $18-$33, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 3pm Sunday; Classic Theatre of San Antonio, 1924 Fredericksburg Rd., (210) 589-8450.

Murder at the Chateau le Shadow The Overtime stages Scott McDowell’s choose-your-ownadventure-style murder mystery set in an ancient mansion nestled in the New England countryside. $10-$15, 8pm Friday-Sturday; The Gregg Barrios Theater at the Overtime, 5409 Bandera Road, Suite 205, (210) 557-7562. COMEDY

Clayton English Laugh Out Loud welcomes Last Comic Standing 2015 winner Clayton English for a three-night run. $20, 8pm & 10:15pm FridaySaturday, 8pm Sunday; Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805. SPECIAL EVEN TS

Dulce! Dulce! invites you to experience a night of desserts, drinks and decadence, served up by top local and regional artisans. Sip seasonal drinks including ciders, stouts, porters, cafe de olla, champurrado, spiked hot cocoa, hot toddys, teas, candy-rimmed cocktails and coffee. Feast on delights from San Antonio’s best panaderías, chocolatiers and bakeries. Savory foods, interactive art and vendors, live music and three DJ stages round out the evening. $40-$75, 7-11pm Friday; Briscoe Western Art Museum, Jack Guenther Pavilion, 210 W. Market St., (210) 227-0044.

Fideo Cook-Off & Merry Krampus Market Curious Twins Paranormal & Ghost Tours pops up at Brick for a fideo cookoff, an artisan market with “spooky Christmas merch” and photo ops with Krampus — a “half-goat, half-demon” who punishes naughty children during the holiday season. $5 suggested donation (includes fideo samples), 7-11pm Friday; Brick at Blue Star, 108 Blue Star, (210) 262-8653.

Illume: Making Spirits Bright San Pedro Creek Culture Park lights up with a one-night-only event featuring food trucks and vendors offering cuisine from around the world, a beer and wine garden, cultural performances and music by DJ Steven Lee Moya. Free, 6-9pm Saturday; San Pedro Creek Culture Park, 715 Camaron St., (210) 227-1373.

The Esquire Tavern’s 85th Birthday The oldest bar on the River Walk celebrates its 85th birthday by throwing a boozy bash on “Repeal Day.” Free admission, 7pm-midnight Wednesday; The Esquire Tavern, 155 E. Commerce St., (210) 222-2521. sacurrent.com | December 5-11, 2018 | CURRENT

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arts Nuts to Crack

Dance companies, kids and parents can’t resist The Nutcracker BY MARCO AQUINO For many children, The Nutcracker provides a first exposure to ballet and classical music. Set to Russian composer Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky’s iconic score, the magical tale of Marie and her Nutcracker Prince has become synonymous with the holiday season. And it’s not just young girls who dream of dancing like the Sugar Plum Fairy — boys too are enchanted by the marching toy soldiers and the battle with the evil Mouse King depicted in most productions. The Nutcracker is also where many young performers first gain experience, whether with regional dance companies or alongside professional dance troupes. While George Balanchine’s choreography originally called for 35 child roles, many of today’s productions have expanded the roles of youth performers. For adults, The Nutcracker offers a rich and often visually stunning experience. (It’s also one of the few ballets they’ll shell out the big bucks for — especially if their children land a role.) Locally, several performing arts groups, as well as traveling companies, have made The Nutcracker an annual tradition. While Ballet San Antonio’s beloved production wrapped up earlier this month, there’s still a handful of nuts left to crack. Cibolo City Ballet Presents The Nutcracker The Cibolo City Ballet’s talented student dancers perform alongside a cast of professional dancers and take audiences on a journey to the Land of Sweets. $25, 6pm Sat, Dec. 8 & Sun, Dec. 9, Carver Community Cultural Center, Jo Long Theatre, 226 N. Hackberry St., (210) 207-7211, cibolocityballet.com. San Antonio Youth Ballet Presents The Nutcracker This production features more than 80 youth and professional dancers performing with live accompaniment from the South Texas Symphonic Orchestra. $10-$30, 7pm Fri, Dec. 14, 2pm Sun, Dec. 16, Carver Community Cultural Center, Jo Long Theatre, 226 N. Hackberry St., (210) 207-7211, sanantonioballetschool.com. Quenedit Dance Theatre Presents The Nutcracker This is Quenedit Dance 28

CURRENT | December 5-11, 2018 | sacurrent.com

Moscow Ballet

Theatre’s biggest production of the year. As part of their efforts to “ensure that economically underprivileged children are given the opportunity to be part of this uplifting and inspiring event,” QDT will donate three tickets to youth in need for each $35 donation received. $35, 7:30pm Sat, Dec. 15, 2pm Sun Dec. 16, Lila Cockrell Theatre, 900 E. Market St.,(210) 207-8500, queneditdance.org. American Midwest Ballet’s The Nutcracker with San Antonio Metropolitan Ballet The American Midwest Ballet brings to life the visual splendor of The Nutcracker with a cast of 130 dancers and over 250 costumes. $29-$69, 7:30pm Thu, Dec. 20 & Fri, Dec. 21, 2pm & 7:30pm Sat, Dec. 22, Lila Cockrell Theatre, 900 E. Market St., (210) 207-8500, artssa.org. Alamo City Performing Arts Association’s The Nutcracker featuring Symphony Viva Now in its 27th year, this is one of the longest-running productions of The Nutcracker in the Alamo City. $20-$45, 7:30pm Fri, Dec. 21 (sensory-friendly performance featuring Eva’s Heroes), 2pm & 6pm Sat, Dec. 22, 1pm & 5pm Sun, Dec. 23, San Antonio College, McAllister Auditorium, 1530 San Pedro Ave., (210) 495-0129, nutcrackersa.com. Moscow Ballet Presents The Great Russian Nutcracker The Moscow Ballet’s elaborate take on The Nutcracker features 40 ballerinas and danseurs trained in the Vaganova method, nine dazzling hand-painted backdrops and the exclusive role of “The Dove of Peace,” a bird with a 20-foot wingspan. $32.50-$102.50, 7pm Wed, Dec. 26, 3pm & 7pm Thu, Dec. 27, The Majestic Theatre, 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-5967, majesticempire.com.

arts

the beginning, I had some four-letter words and sexual references in my act, but I was always about 95 percent clean. I thought it was silly to be dirty for five percent of my show. I decided to go completely clean, not because I’m wholesome, but because I’m OCD. I want [my act] to be 100 percent something.

Some people might say a perfectly timed F-bomb in a joke or argument can really get a point across. Do you agree or disagree? I agree. There are people who work blue (read: profane) who are great. I’m not opposed to that kind of comedy. I think — just like in all entertainment forms — there are different ways of going after it. I want to see how hard I can get people laughing without giving them that F-bomb. I don’t want to feel like they’re laughing at the F word. I know how to say it. I can say it with the best of them, especially when I’m golfing, but I don’t like it in my act.

So Fresh, So Clean

Friedman Bergman

Stand-up Brian Regan continues his rise in the comedy ranks by playing it safe BY KIKO MARTINEZ

ou won’t see stand-up Brian Regan bat an eyelash when a fellow comedian drops one of George Carlin’s original “Seven Dirty Words” during a gig. Hell, Regan is even OK when his character Mugsy on his comedy TV series Loudermilk is called a “dickhead” and a “dumb fuck” to his face in one episode. And don’t even ask what comes out of Regan’s own mouth when he hits a golf ball into a sand trap. But an F-bomb in the middle of one of his stand-up performances? It might’ve happened when he first took the stage in the early 1980s, but today Regan is known in the industry for keeping it super clean. Just watch his 2017 Netflix stand-up comedy special Nunchucks and Flamethrowers and you’ll see how inoffensive he is. There are jokes about gaining weight, the scoring system in tennis, baseball umpires and how a “good dad” should be sent to the West Bank to solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. If Regan was to perform the world-famous “Aristocrats” joke, his improvisation would include the featured family knitting sweaters or eating pimento cheese sandwiches in front of the talent agent. And that’s exactly what

What about comedians who overdo it and use expletives as a crutch? There might be some who use it as a crutch, but there are some who use it because it’s organic and truthful to them. I don’t judge most comedians who work blue. That’s just the direction they want to take. George Carlin and Richard Pryor used four-letter words and they were great. It’s just different styles. You cuss on Loudermilk, so what’s the difference? To me, it’s a different world. There’s my stand-up comedy — the way I like to do it — and then there is a show like Loudermilk that is somebody else’s creative vision. It’s earthy and real and dark and twisted. I like serving that world, too, as an actor. If there are people out there who don’t want to hear foul language, they probably shouldn’t watch Loudermilk.

his fans expect: wholesome and harmless fun — a comedy show your granny or 10-year-old nephew would enjoy. With a wide-ranging audience, Regan’s approach to his comedy is going extremely How much politics do you include in well. Along with comedian Jim Gaffigan, he your show? is one of the most popular clean standups I like to touch on it, but I don’t like to get working today. With that recognition comes preachy. I like to do the kind of jokes that the opportunity to work on TV shows like both sides can laugh at. I want everyone to Loudermilk, currently in its second season feel welcomed in my audience. and already picked up for a third, and a new Netflix sketch-comedy show, Do you worry if you stray Stand Up and Away! With Brian Regan too far to the left or right, Brian Regan, debuting next you could lose half of them? month and executive pro$55-$65 Comedically, I want to walk a duced by Jerry Seinfeld. 7:30pm Thu, Dec. 6 line. I don’t do it out of fear. Last week, Regan spoke Tobin Center for the I don’t want to be a slave to the Current about his Performing Arts to what I feel the audience decision to go clean, how 100 Auditorium Circle wants from me. My job is he confronts politics in his (210) 223-8624 to tell them what I want to show and why the world tobincenter.org tell them, but I choose to needs dirty comedians. do stuff that both sides can laugh at. I don’t come in on a Did the choice to go clean white horse saying, “People should do comehappen at the beginning of your career? dy the way I do it!” There should be all kinds It wasn’t a conscious choice even in the beginning. I was always mostly clean anyway, of comedians and all kinds of stuff going on. That’s why a circus has three rings. because that’s how I think comedically. At

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At Eternity’s Gate allows viewers into the transcendent mind of artist Vincent van Gogh BY KIKO MARTINEZ

uring a scene in the 1975 Academy Award-winning drama One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, a doctor at a mental institution tells R.P. McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) that after evaluating him for four weeks, he sees no evidence of mental illness. “You know, what do you want me to do?” McMurphy asks before mimicking masturbating, as if to say, “Is this what ‘crazy’ is supposed to look like?” In At Eternity’s Gate, a biopic on Vincent van Gogh, Oscar-nominated director Julian Schnabel (The Diving Bell and the Butterfly) seems to wonder

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Stroke of Genius

the same thing as Nicholson’s character. Everyone knows van Gogh suffered from some form of psychological disorder, so why play it up like other van Gogh films of the past? Why show him writhing in front of a mirror like a madman in 1956’s Lust for Life? Why depict him as some fiendish loon who licks the blood off a knife after he uses it to cut off his ear like in 1990’s Vincent & Theo? While both actors Kirk Douglas and Tim Roth give commendable overall performances as van Gogh in their respected films (Douglas earned an Oscar nomination for his), the idea that mental illness can be defined as one specific thing (or behavior) is an antiquated concept. It’s one of the reasons Schnabel’s film — co-written by him, his girlfriend Louise Kugelberg and French screenwriter Jean-Claude Carrière (The Unbearable Lightness of Being) — is such an enlightening and unique experience. With At Eternity’s Gate, Schnabel, who is a famous painter himself, confronts van Gogh’s mental instability with inventive style and philosophical reflection. In doing so, he has given audiences one of the most creative and visually-striking cinematic compositions about an artist in recent memory. CBS Films Although almost 30 years older than van Gogh was at the time of his death, three-time Oscar nominee Willem Dafoe (The Florida Project) delivers a glorious portrayal as the Dutch post-impressionist painter during the final years of his life — living and painting in Arles in the south of France. During this time, we watch van Gogh connect with nature, exchange ideas with friend and artist Paul Gauguin (Oscar Isaac) and find the beauty in the mundane. Through handheld camerawork, distorted scenes and other stimulating experimental film elements, Schnabel designs At Eternity’s Gate as if it were one of van Gogh’s pieces seen through the eyes of a filmmaker like Terrence Malik (Tree of Life). It’s not until the second half of the film when Schnabel really scours inside the mind of van Gogh as his mental illness starts to get the best of him — hallucinations, anxiety, depression and self-mutilation. Even then, however, Schnabel focuses more on the man, his work and his words. In At Eternity’s Gate, he allows viewers to see the world from van Gogh’s transcendent perspective.

Thrown to the Wolves Mowgli is a darker but ultimately irrelevant adaptation of ‘The Jungle Book’

lthough Warner Bros. waited patiently for two years to release Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle, so that it wouldn’t have to compete with Walt Disney’s highly enjoyable 2016 live-action take on The Jungle Book, the subsequent fantasy adventure based on English author Rudyard Kipling’s collection of stories feels needlessly glum and irrelevant. The narrative framework is basically the same. “Mancub” Mowgli (Rohan Chand) is raised by wolves and must find his place in the pack before tiger villain Shere Khan (Benedict Cumberbatch) makes a meal out of him. It’s obvious actor-turned-filmmaker Andy Serkis (Breathe) is working from a darker script than director Jon Favreau did during production of his 2016 movie. Favreau’s film was closer in tone to the original 1967 Disney animation, but Serkis seems more concerned with providing Mowgli an ominous atmosphere than he does with building on the classic tale’s message of friendship and zest for life.

Netflix

Even when Serkis and first-time screenwriter Callie Kloves try to spin the story in their own direction, the decision to stray away from a kid-friendly movie poses some problems. Primarily, who is Mowgli’s intended audience? Now that Netflix has bought the rights, one might assume the answer is everybody with access to a Netflix account, but Mowgli is too cruel for kindergarteners and, at best, a curiosity for adults who will probably just end up comparing it to superior versions. If you do decide to plop the little ones in

front of the screen, know that Mowgli isn’t a musical, so there are no new renditions of “Bare Necessities” or “I Wanna Be Like You.” In fact, King Louie, who Christopher Walken voiced phenomenally in Favreau’s contribution, is completely cut out of this newest adaptation. Baloo is still included, although he’s more of a drill sergeant than a happygo-lucky, honey-smacking bear. And main antagonist Shere Khan is designed to look like a devil-cat who at one point in the film describes tasting the blood of Mowgli’s mother. Mowgli also shows its title character living among other humans when he is banished from the jungle. He meets a hunter (Matthew Rhys) contracted to kill Shere Kahn and a young woman (Freida Pinto) who cares for him during his stay. Neither of these storylines offer any emotional impact to the film, and the fact that Mowgli can speak to the animals in the jungle but not to the villagers makes about as much sense as picking a prickly pear by the paw. Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle is available on Netflix December 7. – Kiko Martinez

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NIGHT LIFE

Heavy Heavy San Anto is for dark beer-lovers

BY LANCE HIGDON

ow did heavy brews come to dominate our beer scene? It seems to run counter to history and climatology both. Stouts and porters come from Ireland and England, not the German or German-via-Mexico traditions that cast the longest shadow in South Texas, and even if the Texicans were used to Russian imperial stouts, how the hell would they drink them in the near-year-long swelter of our environment? Lucky for us, our breweries have made a point of bucking expectations on every front. We make good beer here, period, but a combination of culture and science have ensured the drinking public has a real heart for darkness. A quick glance at the stats verifies this excellence. A bottle of Freetail’s American imperial stout La Muerta brought home our first gold medal from the Great American Beer Fest in 2017. This year, Künstler Brewing earned the silver in the chili beer category for Chamuco, a porter that layers its spice in with a luscious Mexican hot chocolate-like base. Stouts and porters are brewed with a bigger bill of roasted malts and less hops than other styles. This makes them very inviting to certain adjuncts — you can go for first breakfast (coffee, oatmeal) or post-dinner (chocolate, vanilla, damn near any brown liquor you can barrel). They’re made to last, which makes them perfect styles to mature in barrels, or let sit a spell with some fruit or wood. San Antonio brewers have exploited this versatility well. Up in New Braunfels, Guadalupe Brewing Company has poured 60 different stouts (seventy-six if you count stout’s wee heavy kinsman, the Scotch ale) since opening in 2012. Closer to home, Weathered Souls has, if Untappd tallies can be trusted, turned out 95 stout or porter iterations. And

Lance Higdon

the brewery only turned 2 last month. Those numbers are insane, but they help explain why Weathered Souls bombers have become staples of the beer mail underground. According to Ty Wolosin, head brewer at Cibolo Creek Brewing Company in Boerne, this dark beer prevalence comes from the mouths of consumers. “For me, it’s not so much that we do our best work on dark beers, as the trend in the greater San Antonio area seems to be a excitement for darker beers,” Wolosin said in an email to the Current. “Meaning the craft beer folks really love the dark beer releases, in particular barrel-aged and pastry stouts.” Cibolo Creek meets this demand with a regular rotation of darks (a porter in the fall, a stout in the winter), in addition to small-batch treats like their sweet potato-marshmallow and chocolate chip cookie dough stouts. There’s a partially scientific rationale also, welling up through the limestone of the Edwards Aquifer. “Different styles need different chemistry,” Wolosin said. “First is the pH of the beer brewing mash. For the grain to convert properly into wort, the pH of that mash should be in the 5.2-5.5 range. Roasted malts (those

found in stouts and porters, etc.) naturally lower the pH without having to add acid. So although we have alkaline water in the area, the roasted malts are enough to lower the pH to the correct range, at least in the majority of dark beer recipes.” Three crucial minerals — calcium, sulfur and sodium — also play into the picture. “Our water has enough of all these to make a good dark beer without adding much,” Wolosin said. “Occasionally, we add some gypsum to the mash to bump up the calcium and sulfur just a hair. When you’re brewing a lighter beer and in particular a hoppy beer, large amounts of gypsum are added, as hoppy beer needs more calcium and sulphur for hop utilization.” Going beyond the science behind such well-adjusted worts, stouts and porters make taste sense in South Texan culture. Bold, sensual flavors characterize our food. We enjoy passing good times by shooting the breeze with our friends. San Antonians hate to eat (or drink) alone. What’s more perfect for that than a shared bottle of beer best enjoyed slowly? Maybe it’s not such a mystery how these big, beautiful brews made it to the top after all.

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Local singer-songwriter Cooper Greenberg will celebrate proper debut album at the Rustic BY JAMES COURTNEY

ooper Greenberg, a San Antonio/ Austin singer-songwriter and (excellent) guitarist, will drop his sophomore release December 7 and celebrate the occasion with a show the same night at the Rustic. The album, called Dream Sequence, follows up Greenberg’s promising 2016 debut EP Wave Pool. It’s a seven-song affair and his first recorded work with a full band. As such, it serves as the proper introduction to a special talent in bloom. The songs on Dream Sequence are meticulous without seeming overwrought, thoughtful and poignant without coming off as self-serious, and lush without devolving into stifling opulence. The lyrics are earnest and original, dealing with the trials, tribulations and point of view that Greenberg — a 22-yearold who graduated from the University of Texas at Austin this year — calls his own. In style and genre, the tunes range from (and sometimes blend) folk, jazz, blues, poprock and country, with Greenberg’s versatile voice and estimable guitar prowess anchoring it all. (One listen through the barrage of cover songs on the dude’s Soundcloud should demonstrate the crazy breadth of his tastes and palette.) In turns soulful, twangy, jangly and aching, Greenberg sounds on Dream Sequence like Sturgill Simpson meets Dave Matthews meets simmering Texas midnight music. The album is slinky, sexy and smooth, alternately lit in washes of sun and moon. It’s a highly-replayable folk/country album that is as much for cool mountain mornings as it is for smoky old palaces of frustration and longing. I, for one, am tempted to think of the whole thing as the latest entry in the growing list of impressive, new alt-country music coming out of San Antone. Greenberg, who was kind enough to speak with the Current a few weeks back, isn’t entirely sold on the country label, though. “I’ve always been sort of averse to using that genre label,” he said. “A lot of people I know and love and respect just cringe by hearing that word.” Greenberg pointed out that Townes Van Zandt, Willie Nelson, Sturgill Simpson and other country greats, new and old, are import-

music

It Came in a Dream

Courtesy of Cooper Greenberg

As the title not-so-subtly indicates, the ant inspirations for him, but he laments that so much contemporary country is “just so fake inspiration for much of the album came from Greenberg’s dreams. and actively detrimen“There were a lot tal to the reputation Cooper Greenberg Dream of times over the past of country music and Sequence Album Release Show year or so that I’d Texas as a whole.” wake up from dreams Still, he concedes Free with melody ideas, or bro-country probably Fri Dec. 7, 9pm some vivid imagery isn’t going away. The Rustic that I really wanted to “The ultimate place capture in a song. On I’d like to be in the 17619 La Cantera Pkwy Ste. 204 the other hand, some country scene of San therustic.com. of the subject matter Antonio, or Texas overdiscusses dreams in a all, is not necessarily different sense — in the the most traditional or ‘goal’ sense of the word.” genre-specific,” Greenberg said, “but someAssuming that one of those goals is provwhere that embodies that warm, authentic ing his chops as a songwriter and recording and honest mentality of all of my favorites.” artist with a real vision, I’d say he’s doing And Dream Sequence is evidence he’s doing pretty damn well in that respect too. just fine in that regard.

Find more music coverage Find more news every day at sacurrent.com

music | music Picks

Courtesy of Paula Abdul

PAULA ABDUL L Wednesday, December 5

Straight up now, tell me do you want to see Paula Abdul in San Antonio? I mean, we do. The Grammy Award-winning pop legend will headline the Tobin Center for the Performing Arts’ 2018 Benefit Concert Gala Wednesday in the H-E-B Performance Hall. The dance superstar will perform the hits we love, like “Straight Up,” “Forever Your Girl,” “Opposites Attract,” “Rush Rush” and “Cold Hearted,” just to name a few. Abdul also joins the list of iconic musicians featured at the Tobin’s gala series, including Paul McCartney, Lionel Richie, Dolly Parton and Steven Tyler. Proceeds from the gala will benefit the Tobin’s Generation NEXT Education Initiative. Generation NEXT removes barriers to arts participation by providing a diverse range of free cultural, educational and artistic experiences to more than 50,000 people annually. $74.50 - $750, 8pm, Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, tobincenter.org. – Chris Conde

EMAROSA + HANDS LIKE HOUSES Wednesday, December 5

Of all the second-generation post-hardcore bands to emerge during the late

aughts, Emarosa was at the top of the game. With a blend of emotional boyband melodies and glittery sounding guitar riffs, the Kentucky-based fourpiece has managed to stay true to its roots while garnering a solid fan base. Former frontman Jonny Craig could sing the shit out of some high-pitched melodies but was replaced by ex-Tides of Man vocalist Tilian Pearson in 2010, and then Bradley Walden in 2014. Despite the revolving door up front, the band continues to carve its own place in post-hardcore, and its latest poppy-as-fuck single, “Givin’ Up,” further solidifies its spot in the genre. Also with Hands Like Houses, Devour the Day and Arlington. $17, 6pm, Alamo City Music Hall, 1305 E. Houston St., alamocitymusichall.com — CC

BORN RUFFIANS 5 Friday, December 7

Toronto-based indie pop-rock outfit Born Ruffians came up in the mid2000s, a special time for indie rock music that some might even call the golden era of that nebulous genre. Like the Shins, the New Pornographers, the Decemberists or any number of indie bands who rose to prominence during the era, there’s a deceptively simple aspect to Born Ruffians’ cheeky and warm-hearted music. The songs are endlessly relatable and replayable. Even so, their tight compositions, and the layers of craft the dedicated listener will discern therein, attest to the fact that these songs weren’t necessarily as effortless to make as they are to enjoy. Catch Born Ruffians this weekend as the band comes through supporting its fifth LP, Uncle, Duke & The Chief, which came out early this year. To preview

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the new album, or anything else in the band’s charming catalog, head on over to bornruffians.bandcamp.com. $13$15, 9pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com. — JC

KOTTONMOUTH KINGS M Friday, December 7

Big Picture Media

CURRENT | December 5-11, 2018 | sacurrent.com

“Kottonmouth Kings telephone rings!” As labelmates of the Insane Clown Posse, Kottonmouth Kings have a built-in audience of Juggalos, ICP’s cult fanbase. But instead of focusing on “Miracles” and forming their own religion (seriously) like their Psychopathic Records

brothers, Kottonmouth Kings focus all their energy on bong rips. One of their more popular songs, 2011’s “Cruzin’,” is hip-hop’s answer to Smash Mouth and Guy Fieri — all about chillaxing, California and having fun. Most songs follow the same formula, and though their sound has slightly changed over time, they’re still pretty obsessed with the same subject matter. Try a how-many-times-marijuana-is-mentioned smoking game and you’ll be incapacitated after the third song. $21, 7pm, The Rock Box, therockboxsa.com. – Shannon Sweet

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3 3 0 e g r ay s o n s t ROGER CLYNE & THE PEACEMAKERS WED, DEC 5 | DOORS: 7 PM | SHOW: 8 PM

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music | music Picks UADA 5

Joe Reyes, all of whom operate within the spectrum of experimental (more or less) folk/rock music. You can expect, as is Wolverton tradition, that there will be solo sets as well as opportunities for easy-going collaboration. Email floatingteacup@gmail.com or text the number below to reserve your seat and get the address. We are certain you’ll be happy you did. $20, 8pm, Wolverton Home Concerts, (210) 473-9062, facebook.com/WolvertonHomeConcerts. — James Courtney

Saturday, December 8

If you find the combination of ghastly snarls, blast beats and spooky, tremolo-picked electric guitar riffs soothing, then you’re clearly a fan of black metal. One of the most abrasive genres in the wide spectrum of metal, black metal isn’t for everyone, and not just any band can be good at it. But Portland’s Uada is one of them. After bursting onto the scene in 2016, Uada quickly became the talk of dungeons, castles, deep forests and wherever else black metal is discussed and judged. If you desire to bask in darkness, get to this show and see arguably one of the fastest-rising stars in this unholy genre. $10, 9pm, Limelight 2718 N. St. Mary’s St., thelimelightsa.com. – CC

HALESTORM + IN THIS MOMENT q Tuesday, December 11 Courtesy of UADA

A BRAND NEW BAG: SONGWRITER’S NIGHT \ Sunday, December 9

If you’ve never had the refined pleasure of enjoying a concert in the friendly confines of Wolverton Home Concerts’ house venue, then you have been missing out — and there’s precious little time left to amend your ways. The cozy venue has been hosting small and splendid concerts (they never call them “shows,” because it’s all about the music and the togetherness) for years now.

But, with Hills Snyder and his wife, the folks who live in the house and run the venue, moving out of town sometime next year, Wolverton’s sweet run as probably our finest listening roomtype DIY venue is coming to an end. In what will be one of the last concerts it hosts, Wolverton has invited local writer/arts critic Neil Fauerso to curate. The lineup he’s put together will feature singer-songwriters Sam Gendel, Jesse Jenkins (founding member of ATX band Pure X), Paul Fauerso and

Morphing from metalcore roots in the vein of bands like As I Lay Dying and Parkway Drive into a more active-rock sound, In This Moment has pressed on since the mid-2000s, releasing albums as recently as last year. And even with that change in their sound, the L.A.-originated group hasn’t stopped gaining new fans. Along with co-headliners Halestorm and New Years Day, In This Moment proves girls rock just as hard, if not harder, than their male counterparts. Catch all three this Tuesday at the Aztec Theatre. $49.50-$79.50, 6pm, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., theaztectheatre.net. – CC

Courtesy of JoeReyes

THE MIDNIGHT HOUR Sunday, December 9

The Midnight Hour — consisting of A Tribe Called Quest’s Ali Shaheed Muhammad and Adrian Younge, who’s produced for the likes of Jay-Z, WuTang Clan and Common — is arguably one of the most ferocious duos active right now. And their genius goes beyond the numerous genres they tiptoe through with their music — jazz, soul, bebop and R&B. There’s a magical dynamic they pull out of the air with their songwriting that makes them one of the most talked-about live performers of the year. Just listen to “It’s You,” a tumbling off-and-on-the-beat song with rhythms that seem to fold into themselves, and you’ll understand this is a show you really don’t want to miss. $25, 7pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersatx.com. – CC

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music | listings BY SHANNON SWEET WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 5

ROGER CLYNE AND THE PEACEMAKERS

If you find yourself chugging beer and shootin’ the shit with your buddies during the Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers set, don’t be surprised. Clyne wrote the King of the Hill theme song with his former band, the Refreshments. Now, in the Peacemakers, Clyne and company cross genres from reggae to folk, while keeping it known that they’re American-made. $16 - $90, Sam’s Burger Joint, 7pm

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 6

SCOTT H. BIRAM

Chugging a whiskey from a broken bottle (presumably after a bar fight) in one hand and shredding a six-string with the other, Scott H. Biram is the baddest Hillbilly this side of Hades. A punk rocker at heart, Biram is also lauded in the country scene, proving that maybe cowboys and anarchist aren’t so different after all. With J.D. Wilkes. $12 - $250, River Road Ice House (New Braunfels), 8pm

decade-spanning career makes him a rightful bearer of that legacy. Just this year, he released a sprawling concept album, The Crossing, that deals with timely but eternal topics such as the American dream and immigration through the eyes of two immigrants, one from Mexico and the other from Italy. $20 - $90, Sam’s Burger Joint, 7pm

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 8

HOLIDAYS WITH THE JIMÉNEZ FAMILY

TexPop, San Antonio’s favorite alt-museum, is offering the rare chance to witness a performance of living Texas legend Santiago Jiménez Jr. Born to the Jiménez family, which pioneered the culturally rich genres of Tejano and conjunto, and brother to Leonardo “Flaco” Jiménez, Santiago has kept his music true to its roots over the years. This intimate concert aims to pay tribute to a rich past while inspiring a new generation of Texas musicians. $10 or a new toy donation, South Texas Museum of Popular Culture, 7pm

ISRAEL NASH 5

Israel Nash sounds like Neil Young if he was a beach bum who lives for hanging ten and Piña Coladas. As evidenced on his new album Lifted, Nash takes the philosophical, folksy ballads of Young and marries them with the lighthearted harmonies of the Beach Boys. A New York City transplant from Missouri now settled in Dripping Springs, Nash is having a musical renaissance in the Lone Star State. Free, The Rustic, 8:30pm

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FRIDAY, DECEMBER 7

FREDDIE GIBBS

A Midwestern rapper from the decaying streets of Gary, Indiana, Freddie Gibbs is also one of the most consistent — and underrated — MCs in the game. Well-learned in the study of golden-age hip hop, Gibbs goes hard on every release and collaboration, never leaving a bar or rhyme out of place. His new release, 2018’s Freddie, backs up the claim that Gibbs, although never selling out, may still blow up in the mainstream any second now. $20 - $75, Paper Tiger, 8pm

ALEJANDRO ESCOVEDO

Coming from a famous musical family (relatives include Prince muse Sheila E. and Pete and Coke Escovedo of Santana fame), Alejandro Escovedo’s five

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Along with teaching the true meaning of Christmas, the Peanuts gang also introduced generations of children to jazz in their now-classic 1965 Holiday special, A Charlie Brown Christmas. Composed by Vince Guaraldi, the soundtrack was expected to be a disaster because of its departure from traditional Christmas music. Instead, it’s now considered a staple of the season. Catch Watkins and his S.A. jazz masters play the soundtrack, along with other Xmas classics (all jazzified, of course). It’ll give a new meaning to the phrase “cheer up, Charlie.” $10, Jazz, TX, 5:30pm

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I’m a 59-year-old man in good health. For basically my whole adult life, I’ve had this problem during intercourse with a woman of (1) being very quick to come and (2) having a too intense “cringey” sensation when I come. This has led to often going soft at the prospect of intercourse. This too-intense feeling makes me stop moving when I come, which is not satisfying at all. It doesn’t happen with hand jobs or oral sex—they feel fine and good. Is this a known phenomenon? And, most importantly, what can I do to get to a point where I can enjoy intercourse? This seriously messes up my enjoyment of sex and my confidence with women. One time, and only one time (out of many with a particular girlfriend), I had intercourse and it felt fine when I came, still thrusting, so I know it’s possible. I have been practicing with a Fleshlight, but it’s still painfully “cringey” when I come. It is not fun and rather depressing. He Always Really Dreads Penetration And Regrets This I shared your letter with Dr. Ashley Winter, a urologist in private practice in Portland, Oregon, and the cohost of The Full Release, a sex, health and relationship podcast. Dr. Winter wanted to note that her comments are a general discussion of a medical topic and NOT individual medical advice. She wanted me to emphasize this point—which she also emphasizes at the top of her terrific podcast—because Dr. Winter is a responsible doctor and not a card-carrying member of the Amalgamated Advice Columnists of America. (Membership in the AACA entitles advice columnists to say pretty much whatever they want.) “There are three issues at play here,” said Dr. Winter. “First, the pain or ‘cringey’ sensation only associated with vaginal and Fleshlight penetration. Second, being too quick to come. And third, erectile dysfunction. HARDPART insightfully suggests his ED may be related to his performance anxiety as well as anticipated pain, and I would agree with this. I would add that his quick ejaculation is most likely also caused by a mix of ED and pain—the body adapts to pain and erection loss by letting the swimmers off the hook early.”

But why do you experience this pain only during penetrative sex? What is it about PIV (penis in vagina) or PIF (penis in Fleshlight) that causes those painfully cringey feelings? “If he thrusts more during these activities than he does during oral or hand stimulation, I would expect that either pelvic floor muscle dysfunction or a nerve issue related to the lower spine could be causing the flairs,” said Dr. Winter. “If he were my patient, I would want to know if he has less pain when his partner is on top, which would mean his pelvis is moving less. Also, does he have chronic low back pain? Bowel or bladder issues?” Dr. Winter and I continued to generally discuss the medical topics raised by your question, HARDPART, and we generally discussed—this is not, again, individual medical advice, but a general discussion—two things someone with your particular issue might want to think about doing. First, a guy with your problem could try taking Viagra—or a related drug—while also using a penis numbing spray. And a guy with your problem should also have his pelvic floor checked out. A urologist can help a guy with a problem like yours determine if there’s something wrong with the complex web of muscles and nerves that crowd together around your junk and, if it is a pelvic floor issue, refer him to a pelvic floor physical therapist. Finally, a suggestion from me, the person with the AACA card: A guy with a problem like yours—a guy whose dick works a certain way and has worked that way for decades—could save himself the hassle of physical therapy and the side effects of Viagra by accepting his dick and the way his dick works. There are women out there who prefer oral and outercourse to PIV, HARDPART, and you could bed those women with confidence. Follow Dr. Ashley Winter on Twitter @AshleyGWinter, and check out The Full Release podcast, which she cohosts with comedian Mo Mandel, at thefullreleasepod.com.

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“Talk Like the Critters”—”pet names” popularized by memes. ACROSS 1 Prosciutto, for example 4 Arizona plants 9 Beginning 14 Suffix after pay or Motor 15 Verbally 16 Today weatherman Al 17 Oscar Wilde’s forte 18 1990 Mel Gibson movie, according to the Internet? 20 Metamorphoses poet 22 Bottled water brand owned by Coca-Cola 23 Mount McKinley’s national park 26 Pay no attention to 30 Easy swimming style, according to the Internet? 34 Night Gallery host Serling 35 Architect and Bauhaus School founder Walter 36 University official 37 Competed at Daytona 40 Istanbul title 41 “Better in Time” singer ___ Lewis 42 Olfactory stimulus 43 William and Harry, e.g. 45 Fleetwood ___ 46 Pet-related YouTube clip, according to the Internet? 50 Receipt figure 52 Half a quarter 53 Falco’s request to Amadeus, in a 1980s hit

57 Salt, chemically 58 Person who musically hypnotizes animals, according to the Internet? 63 Letter after pi 64 Actor Rami of Bohemian Rhapsody 65 Job reward 66 ___ voto (“at my own wish,” in Latin) 67 ___ Kitchen (Gordon Ramsay show) 68 Tenochtitlan inhabitant 69 Request permission DOWN 1 “Strange ...” 2 Hyphenated word in “Cockles and Mussels” 3 Kind of call or season 4 One way to get around town 5 Green Book star Mahershala 6 Electrical cable 7 Brass band instrument 8 Altar vows 9 Color of Philadelphia Flyers mascot Gritty 10 Like hopeless situations 11 Take to the slopes 12 Ending for mountain or auction 13 Three, in Torino 19 They should be nowhere near a chalkboard 21 Macbeth’s imagined weapon

24 Little ___ Fauntleroy 25 Google’s was in Aug. 2004 27 Cookie introduced to India in 2011 28 Horse with mottled coloring 29 Mode in “The Incredibles” 31 No longer linked 32 1 or 0, but not 10 33 ___ Reade (NYC drugstore chain) 36 Pattern 37 Tomato variety 38 Driver who plays Kylo Ren 39 2017 Pixar film 41 Pants maker Strauss 43 Sales talk 44 Guevara on T-shirts 46 What opportunity does, hopefully 47 ___ & Greg (1990s-2000s sitcom) 48 Scratches the surface? 49 “Check this out!” 51 Family Matters neighbor Steve 54 Former American Idol judge DioGuardi 55 “Waiting For My Rocket to Come” singer Jason 56 Give forth 58 “I can’t believe this,” in online slang 59 Scottish “no” 60 12th letter of the alphabet, when spelled out 61 Language suffix 62 DVR remote button ANSWER ON PAGE 23

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etc FREE WILL ASTROLOGY BY ROB BREZNY ARIES (March 21-April 19): When I write a horoscope for you, I focus on one or two questions because I don’t have room to cover every single aspect of your life. The theme I’ve chosen this time may seem a bit impractical, but if you take it to heart, I guarantee you it will have practical benefits. It comes from Italian author Umberto Eco. He wrote, “Perhaps the mission of those who love humanity is to make people laugh at the truth, to make truth laugh, because the only truth lies in learning to free ourselves from insane passion for the truth.” I swear to you, Aries, that if you laugh at the truth and make the truth laugh in the coming days, you will be guided to do all the right and necessary things. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You have a cosmic mandate and a poetic license to stir up far more erotic fantasies than usual. It’ll be healthy for you to unleash many new thoughts about sexual experiments that would be fun to try and novel feelings you’d like to explore and people whose naked flesh you’d be interested to experience sliding and gliding against yours. But please note that the cosmic mandate and poetic license do not necessarily extend to you acting out your fantasies. The important thing is to let your imagination run wild. That will catalyze a psychic healing you didn’t even realize you needed. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): In my continuing efforts to help you want what you need and need what you want, I’ve collected four wise quotes that address your looming opportunities. 1. “What are you willing to give up, in order to become who you really need to be?” —author Elizabeth Gilbert 2. “Leave the door open for the unknown, the door into the dark. That’s where the most important things come from.” —Rebecca Solnit 3. “You enter the extraordinary by way of the ordinary.” —Frederick Buechner 4. “Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” —Nathaniel Hawthorne CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’ve called on author Robert Heinlein to provide your horoscope. According to my astrological analysis, his insights are exactly what you need to focus on right now. “Do not confuse ‘duty’ with what other people expect of you,” he wrote. “They are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect. But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible.”

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): What does “beauty” mean to you? What sights, sounds, images, qualities, thoughts, and behavior do you regard as beautiful? Whatever your answers might be to those questions right now, I suggest you expand and deepen your definitions in the coming weeks. You’re at a perfect pivot point to invite more gorgeous, lyrical grace into your life; to seek out more elegance and charm and artistry; to cultivate more alluring, delightful magic.

there have been well over a hundred further adaptations of the story into film and stage productions. Here’s the funny thing about this influential work: Stevenson wrote it fast. It took him three feverish days to get the gist of it, and just another six weeks to revise. Some biographers say he was high on drugs during the initial burst, perhaps cocaine. I suspect you could also produce some robust and interesting creation in the coming weeks, Sagittarius— and you won’t even need cocaine to fuel you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You know the expiration dates that appear on the labels of the prescription drugs you buy? They don’t mean that the drugs lose their potency after that date. In fact, most drugs are still quite effective for at least another ten years. Let’s use this fact as a metaphor for a certain resource or influence in your life that you fear is used up or defunct. I’m guessing it still has a lot to offer you, although you will have to shift your thinking in order to make its reserves fully available.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A blogger on Tumblr named Ffsshh composed a set of guidelines that I think will be apt and useful for you to draw on in the coming weeks. Please study these suggestions and adapt them for your healing process. “Draw stick figures. Sing off-key. Write bad poems. Sew ugly clothes. Run slowly. Flirt clumsily. Play video games on ‘easy.’ OK? You do not need to be good at something to enjoy it. Sometimes talent is overrated. Do things you like doing just because you like doing them. It’s OK to suck.”

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Libran rapper Eminem is renowned for his verbal skill. It may be best exemplified in his song “Rap God,” in which he delivers 1,560 words in six minutes and four seconds, or 4.28 words per second. In one stretch, he crams in 97 words in 15 seconds, achieving a pace of 6.5 words per second. I suspect that in the coming weeks, you will also be unusually adept at using words, although your forte will be potent profundity rather than sheer speed. I encourage you to prepare by making a list of the situations where your enhanced powers of persuasion will be most useful.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Aquarian athlete Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player who ever lived. He was also the first to become a billionaire. But when he was growing up, he didn’t foresee the glory that

awaited him. For example, in high school he took a home economics class so as to acquire cooking abilities. Why? He imagined that as an adult he might have to prepare all of his own meals. His ears were so huge and ungainly, he reasoned, that no woman would want to be his wife. So the bad news was that he suffered from a delusion. The good news was that because of his delusion, he learned a useful skill. I foresee a similar progression for you, Aquarius. Something you did that was motivated by misguided or irrelevant ideas may yield positive results. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The Bible does not say that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute or even a “sinner.” There’s no mention of her sexual proclivities at all. Delusional ideas about her arose in the Middle Ages, instigated by priests who confused her with other women in the Bible. The truth is that the Bible names her as a key ally to Christ, and the crucial witness to his resurrection. Fortunately, a number of scholars and church leaders have in recent years been working to correct her reputation. I invite you to be motivated and inspired by this transformation as you take steps to adjust and polish your own image during the coming weeks. It’s time to get your public and private selves into closer alignment.

THIS MODERN WORLD BY TOM TOMORROW

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In May of 1883, the newly built Brooklyn Bridge opened for traffic. Spanning the East River to link Manhattan and Brooklyn, it was the longest suspension bridge in the world. But almost immediately people spread rumors that it was unstable. There was a growing fear that it might even crumble and fall. That’s when charismatic showman P. T. Barnum stepped in. He arranged to march 21 elephants across the bridge. There was no collapse, and so the rumors quickly died. I regard the coming weeks as a time when you should take inspiration from Barnum. Provide proof that will dispel gossipy doubt. Drive away superstitious fear with dramatic gestures. Demonstrate how strong and viable your improvements really are. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Robert Louis Stevenson published his gothic novel Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde in 1886. It was a bestseller, and quickly got turned into a theatrical production. In the ensuing 132 years, sacurrent.com | December 5-11, 2018 | CURRENT

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