Issuu

APRIL 13-19, 2016

SAN ANTONIO

Celebrate Fiesta's 125th Year with Cornyation's Kings Anchovy, Festive Fashions and Pin Pandemonium

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sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 5

San Antonio Current Publisher: Michael Wagner Associate Publisher: Lara Fischer

21 ST ANNUAL TASTING EVENT

Editorial

Senior Editors: Bryan Rindfuss, Jessica Elizarraras Interim Art Director: Sarah Flood-Baumann Food & Nightlife Editor: Jessica Elizarraras Music Editor: Travis Buffkin Staff Writers: Mark Reagan, Michael Marks Contributors: Alexis Barnhart, Ron Bechtol, Ainsley Caffrey, Erik Casarez, Murphi Cook, James Courtney, Callie Enlow, Jade Esteban Estrada, Dan R. Goddard, Lance Higdon, Steven G. Kellman, Lauren Madrid, Kiko Martínez, Jeremy Martin, Jeff Meyers, Eric Moreno, M. Solis, Gary Sweeney, J.D. Swerzenski Editorial Interns: Thanya Campuzano, Gabriela Mata, Kim Nguyen, James McCandless, Shannon Sweet, Patricia Valdez, Luke Wise

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Chief Executive Officer: Andrew Zelman Chief Operating Officers: Chris Keating, Michael Wagner Human Resources Director: Lisa Beilstein Digital Operations Coordinator: Jaime Monzon Senior Marketing and Events Director: Cassandra Yardeni www.euclidmediagroup.com National Advertising: Voice Media Group 1-888-278-9866, voicemediagroup.com San Antonio Current 915 Dallas San Antonio, Texas 78215 sacurrent.com Editorial - (210) 227-0044 / Fax - (210) 227-7755 Display Advertising - (210) 227-0044 Fax - (210) 227-7733 Classified - (210) 227-CLAS / Fax - (210) 227-7733 The San Antonio Current is published by Euclid Media Group Verified Audit Member San Antonio Distribution – The Current is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader.

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sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 9

IN THIS

FIRST WORDS

On “40 Moments from San Antonio FC’s Home Opener” // Samuel Brownlee: Good result against a good team. Atmosphere was awesome, fingers crossed we can keep the support up and do our part to bring MLS to San Antonio. On “Colorful Photos from the Flaming Lips and More at Day Two of Maverick Music Festival” // George Hooper: From Reverend Horton Heat all the way till the SAPD ordered everyone off the premises, it was totally amazing. [sic] On “Triple-A Baseball Coming to San Antonio if a Downtown Ballpark Is Built” // Lawrence Garza: Spend that money on the shit infrastructure we call our roads. Those should be priority, not some bullshit pipe dream stadium... [sic]

ISSUE Issue 16_15 /// April 13 – April 19, 2016

NEWS

Cityscrapes The roots of Fiesta royalties

CALENDAR

Our top picks for the week

On Transparency, Diversity and Inclusion Where do we go from here?

SCREENS

I Pity the Rich Marguerite measures the real price of wealth

APRIL 00-00,

2016

SAN ANTONIO

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ON THE

COVER We’re celebrating Fiesta San Antonio’s 125 years with a look at Cornyation’s first-ever Kings, its long-time producer and more. Photograph by Julián Ledezma Art direction by Rick Fisher and Sarah Flood-Baumann 10 CURRENT • April 13—April 19, 2016 • sacurrent.com

NIGHTLIFE

Juniper Tar Reheeled Why you need to give this Downtown bar another shot

ARTS + CULTURE

Double Trouble Getting cozy with Kings Anchovy Wayne D. Beers and Michael Bobo The Ringleader Waxing nostalgic with Cornyation kingpin Ray Chavez

• Send your thoughts, comments or kudos to letters@sacurrent.com

Fiesta Flair We’re dressing you for Flambeau — and then some

FOOD

Party Supplies Photos from Fiesta on Main’s high season

On A Stick It’s time to load up on fair fare once again

MUSIC

Stay Woke! A rundown on five hip-hop and R&B artists hitting SA soon Remembering Merle, Watching Willie Life without the Okie from Muskogee Uncharted Waters Country’s great psychedelic hope, Sturgill Simpson, gets soulful on new LP Final Backward Glance Bane’s final tour caps over two decades of punk rock history Music Calendar What to see and hear this week

ETC.

Savage Love Jonesin’ Crossword Freewill Astrology This Modern World

sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 11

NEWS

CITYSCRAPES Roots of Fiesta Royalties HEYWOOD SANDERS

It’s a great party. Fiesta that is. It’s a financial boon for a host of deserving local organizations, from neighborhood groups like the King William Association, to local universities and, of course, the Conservation Society and NIOSA. And Fiesta gives San Antonians, and a flood of visitors, an opportunity to enjoy live entertainment, eat unique foods, and drink beer. Fiesta San Jacinto’s marquee event, the Battle of Flowers, began in 1891 as a commemoration of the Battle of San Jacinto, timed to coincide with a visit to the Alamo City by President William Henry Harrison. But what we now experience as the full panoply of Fiesta pomp and royalty — the grand Coronation of the Queen of the Order of the Alamo with its elaborate gowns, the anointing of King Antonio by his colleagues in the Texas Cavaliers — were rather later, 20th century inventions. And for the creation of Fiesta and San Antonio royalty we have one man to thank: John B. Carrington. Carrington, born in Virginia, arrived in San Antonio in 1902. Within a few years, as secretary of the Business Men’s Club (predecessor of the Greater San Antonio Chamber of Commerce) he emerged as a tireless booster and promoter of the city. Carrington organized an expedition from San Antonio to the Rio Grande Valley, pressing the case for a new railroad link to the south while garnering financial pledges from cities and business leaders along the way. He also served as secretary of the Publicity League, a new organization funded by city business and civic leaders in 1907 with the goal of promoting the community throughout North America, literally to “make its name and fame known throughout the land.” Newspapers and magazines from National Geographic to the Winnipeg Free Press were soon filled with glowing advertisements promoting “Tropical Luxury” and “Texas’ Largest City.” Readers were urged “This winter take the children to Sunny San Antonio and let them romp outdoors. One dose of bracing air, equal parts of sunshine, one month of wholesome exercise will discount any number of doctors’ bills.” By 1910, Carrington could argue in print “One Texas City Advertises Itself Into Prosperity,” with “the leading business and professional men of San Antonio united in writing letters declaring that this municipal advertising had proven profitable to them personally.” Carrington’s efforts did not stop with railroads or city advertising. He was an energetic promoter of the city as a location for conventions and meetings, pressing for the construction of a grand new convention hall — Municipal Auditorium, now the Tobin Center — and securing the land leases for what would become Kelly Field. 12 CURRENT • April 6—April 12, 2016 • sacurrent.com

But perhaps Carrington’s most singular, if little recognized, contribution to San Antonio was his invention of Fiesta royalty. Laura Hernandez-Ehrisman tells much of the tale in her 2008 book Inventing the Fiesta City. In 1909, Carrington led the effort to replace the Battle of Flowers Association, which had previously selected the Fiesta Queen, with a new organization, the “Order of the Alamo.” Announced to the public as a means of “making the Battle of Flowers an event in keeping with the occasion which it celebrates,” the new group was composed of the most prominent young men of the city, almost entirely the Anglo business leaders of the Business Men’s Club and the Publicity League. And the new and improved pageant was to include the election of a duchess from “each of the nearby towns, who will be attended by pages and courtiers of her own,” luring ever more visitors to San Antonio. The first grand coronation in April 1909 brought the “fairest ladies” and the “boldest esquires of the finest state” to San Antonio from “the far-off corner of the state wherein Brownsville nestles, to the gulf-swept beach of Galveston.” And lest any detail be left to chance, Carrington himself served as court announcer. By 1926, having managed two stints as head of the Chamber of Commerce, Carrington envisioned yet another dose of Fiesta royalty, the Texas Cavaliers. A king for Fiesta had been chosen since 1896, first by the Battle

of Flowers Association, then by the Carnival Association or the Fiesta Association. The tradition stalled in 1925 and 1926 when no kings were named. Carrington’s new Cavaliers would choose a new Fiesta King in 1927, with its first efforts focused on maintaining the spirit of pioneer Texans and virtues of horsemanship. Its initial outing at the 1926 Fiesta celebration was a tournament, with the knights of San Antonio jousting on horseback. Carrington had envisioned an organization of both local business leaders and Army officers, and it was intentionally not the “San Antonio Cavaliers.” Carrington planned on a group that would spread as chapters in cities and towns throughout the state. The formal tournaments, the commitment to furthering horsemanship, the ties between the Army and local business, the full panoply of regal trappings (knights, chevaliers, princesses), and the statewide organization were never quite realized. Yet with the Texas Cavaliers and the Order of the Alamo, Carrington did succeed in giving the raw, frontier town its own (almost entirely Anglo) royalty of bankers, lawyers, car and hardware dealers that choose a King Antonio for us. So at Fiesta time, it’s appropriate to give a tip of the hat to Carrington, who made us in some ways royal, but who really taught the lesson that some better-off San Antonians have long believed, down to the present, that we can somehow advertise this city to prosperity.

BM-16-26709_SanAntonioCurrent_10.25x10.27.pdf

4/7/16

9:42 AM

CMY

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NEWS

ON TRANSPARENCY, DIVERSITY AND INCLUSION

nio San Anto

MARCH

IL 5, 30-APR

2016

Where do we go from here? STAFF

To say we closed the month of March on a bad note is an understatement. Put bluntly, we halfassed our Badass Issue. With nine past and current movers and shakers (four women, two gay men and an over-abundance of whiteness in front of a spread of Tex-Mex food under an Old English font, no less) we white-washed and appropriated San Antonio’s history. The Facebook posts calling us out (some of which we’ve included here), the Instagram posts modifying the cover and the emails and calls we received were loud and clear. We failed to reflect the majority Latino community, the city at large. We alienated 60 percent of the population. We didn’t do our jobs. For transparency’s sake, the San Antonio Current operates as a weekly print publication that has to play a part in the 24-hour news cycle. A staff of two general news reporters, a music editor, a digital content producer, two senior editors, two dozen freelancers and a group of rotating interns all work toward five objectives: to serve the city as tastemakers, to be a daily destination for readers, to aggressively tell stories, to provide a new perspective and, lastly, to improve the community around us. We didn’t do that. Instead, we alienated more than half of San Antonio’s population in one fell swoop. We failed to honor our own editorial standards, and, more importantly, the city we’re privileged to write about. For that, we apologize. But we also use the occasion to improve our publication, and, hopefully, the city as a whole. Our editorial decision-making will evolve to keep us from ever making the same error, and to ensure that the magazine reflects San Antonio’s valuable diversity – of ethnicity, class, sexual orientation and all the other ways we’re different. Citywide conversations on power disparity, diversity and inclusion have to keep going on all around us, and we will be a part of that. Our mistake, of course, came on the heels of “SA2020 Talks: Diversity and Inclusion in the Arts” held on Tuesday, March 29. Though well-intentioned and shaped by four entities, which included the boards of

Contemporary Art Month San Antonio and the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center, and the City’s Diversity and Inclusion office, the panel failed to include a Latina artist — the very same reason the Guadalupe withdrew from hosting this year’s CAM Perennial exhibition. The Guadalupe’s executive director, Jerry Ruiz, who began his work with the Guadalupe on May 4, 2015, said in a statement that the organization withdrew from the Perennial because of its lack of a Latina artist. Mistakes like the Badass Issue and the SA 2020 talk shouldn’t happen in this city. So to learn from them – to advance the collective dialog about diversity and inclusion and to ensure they don’t happen again – we spoke with civic leaders, diversity experts and people who were justifiably just pissed off. Here’s what they told us: No Easy Fix Institutional discrimination and oppression won’t be solved overnight. But as the justifiable and painful criticism about the Badass cover escalated to include commentary by Congressman Joaquin Castro and State Rep. Diego Bernal, it was time to look at the institution that allowed the mistake to happen. “It’s easy to misconstrue our numbers and even some of our individual accomplishments as community mobility or ascension. [Latinos] still have tremendous issues of poverty, health and issues with public education. Those issues will never get addressed if we’re not part of the conversation. I believe when we’re left out — which is a hard thing to do considering how many of us there are — that people feel it makes it easier to ignore the issues that befall our community in a very specific, concentrated, insidious way,” Bernal said. For SA2020 President and CEO Molly Cox, hindsight is, well, 20/20. “In an effort to find a neutral voice we ended up excluding an entire group of people,” Cox said. “Now, it’s so dumb that we didn’t think about it. We had Latinas helping us create the panel. It was just dumb.” Though all four parties were tasked with approving the panel members — made up of Jon Hinojosa of Say Sí,

• Cover illustration by Ray “Tattooedboy” Scarborough

Kiran Bains of the City of San Antonio Diversity and Inclusion Office, Cruz Ortiz of Snake Hawk Press and Veronique Le Melle of Artpace San Antonio — all are now acutely aware of the oversight. For Ruiz, the error showed that inclusion must be an active, deliberate choice. “We all signed off on it. It was a shared mistake from all … entities that a Latina was not included. That just shows that no one’s immune to it. I sat there with two Latina board members and approved it. One of the three of us should have seen that,” he said. Critics of the panel argued that Cox, as moderator, should have just called one of the many Latina artists in attendance to the panel on the spot. Ana Fernandez, a local Latina visual artist, suggested that at the time. When it didn’t happen, she left. “I’m surprised more people didn’t walk out. For me to stay there would have legitimized that farce,” Fernandez said. But all wasn’t lost. Bains, as the person responsible for diversity in local government, gleaned that she’ll have to dive into the history of arts and culture in San Anto to make any headway. “I think there was a space needed for that expression of anger and frustration to be spoken and heard,” Bains said. “It helped me recognize the learning I have to do, and making sure folks that are involved in shaping the office, that process is also diverse.” A native San Antonian of Indian heritage who grew up in the city’s Sikh community post-9/11, Bains acknowledges the privilege she was afforded by attending blue ribbon schools on the city’s North Side and later St. Mary’s University. After graduating, Bains worked in international conflict resolution and peace building in war-torn areas for nearly a decade. And she acknowledges the joining of individual CONTINUED ON PAGE 18 ►

sacurrent.com • April 6—April 12, 2016 • CURRENT 15

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sacurrent.com • April 6—April 12, 2016 • CURRENT 17

NEWS

◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 15

• Jerry Ruiz, executive director of the Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center; (below) Kiran Bains is the City of San Antonio’s diversity and inclusion officer

MARILYNN ESPINOZA Lack of recognition of the Latino and Chicano community here in San Antonio. You have our comida and our cultural velas (candles) in the illustration but not a single Hispanic on the "badass" list, if that's not cultural appropriation I don't know what is. It's time for OUR voices to be heard as well, there are so many Hispanic monumental people omitted from this article. ANITA QUINTANILLA I read this piece and find none of these "Badasses" very interesting. It seems none of them have deep roots in San Antonio which is known as a City full of Mexican people and their culture. This photo of the nine people is a shameful insult to the history and authenticity San Antonio! JORGE NIÑOSAURIO The stupidest cover ever. San Antonio Current has disgraced the city of San Antonio. And like my friend Jennifer K. Falcon reminded them, they published this on the day people honor Transgender Day of Visibility. Also, where the hell are the latinos? Henry Cisneros, LVP, and Joaquin? No ma'am. Super lame when the majority minority in this city goes unrepresented. Thanks a lot. We are nothing in our own city.

• TEdits by Roy Garza and Los Nahuatlatos.

BARBARA RENAUD GONZALEZ Here is the SA Current story. No Latinas. Write these pendejos. Tell them who is a BadAss in this town. Tell them we exist. Tell them we will not stand for exclusion it recognition anymore. And don't bother with the Current after this.

VANESSA MARTINEZ CAMPOS San Antonio Current's cover is disgusting, if it's real. To use Chicano/a items (velas, fonts, tacos, and panaderia) as the background in their celebration of non-Latino/ as? Is that all we are, the backdrop to a city? A city we helped enrich? DENISE HERNÁNDEZ Good morning and happy Friday. I'm sure by now you have seen the catastrophe that is the San Antonio Current's latest issue of "local luminaries," which does not include a single Xicanx or Latinx. (But still somehow includes our food and some velas, go figure!) If there's anything I've learned in the past year alone, it is that San Antonio is uniquely and abundantly rich in some of the most incredible, intelligent, passionate, creative and CHINGÓN Brown people anywhere. It's plain tone deaf to not include one Brown person of the many that have called our city home and have given back to it in unsurmountable ways. It's lazy to not include someone representative of the majority of this historically Mexican city. Please join me in posting some of the ‪#‎SABadasses‬ you know, their stories, their contributions. Obviously we can't expect to be included in these things, so let's do it ourselves. 18 CURRENT • April 6—April 12, 2016 • sacurrent.com

comes to diversity and inclusion. “How did all these things happen? Why didn’t it come to my mind?” she pondered out loud over coffee. “There’s an overlap there with the institution and individual. We individually have to take responsibility because, in many ways, we’re enforcing institutional discrimination. Carrying the conversation forward and affecting change,” Bains said. Orlando Graves Bolaños, a two-year volunteer and board member with CAM, said the organization is taking this time to listen to the community. “We’ll be meeting in the near future to hash this out, and there will be very specific things, I’d imagine that will come from that — how we organize ourselves, certainly about how we transmit what we do so that everybody knows how we do

it,” Bolaños said. For CAM that means, among other things, helping clarify the process for choosing artists for the Perennial, broadening their timeline, consciously soliciting curators with varied backgrounds and raising funds for a searchable, comprehensible database of SA-based contemporary artists. The Guadalupe is working on clarifying language for their partners going forward. The CAM board will meet in mid-May to discuss the organization’s next step. “I think all of us are humbled by this experience and we have our mouths shut and we’re listening. This is not a moment for us to justify anything or make excuses, what we’re listening to is how we can stay true to the community outcry and the art community that does have some criteria as well,” Bolaños said. Beyond the Arts The Current is also humbled – we CONTINUED ON PAGE 21 ►

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NEWS

◄ CONTINUED FROM PAGE 18

• The Guadalupe Cultural Arts Center pulled out of the canceled CAM Perennial exhibition, which was scheduled for March 11, because of a lack of a Latina artist.

aren’t going to make excuses for our recent lapse. Ruiz, the Guadalupe’s director, pointed out the dangers of doing so as the rationale for withdrawing from CAM’s Perennial exhibition. “It’s not just exclusion but appropriation, which was one of the reasons that led me to withdrawing from CAM,” Ruiz said. “We worry about gentrification, communities being erased, appropriation of spaces, of culture. I think we’re all caught in that larger trend and it’s something we have to be aware of. I don’t believe there’s maliciousness behind it, but it’s a bigger trend we’re looking at.” Mistakes such as the Current’s allow deep-seated fears and concerns about cultural erasure and appropriation in a rapidly changing but history-rich city to bubble up to the surface. “The reason there’s so much anger about [exclusion] is because San Antonio is unique. It’s a majority minority city and yet our experiences are not always being reflected or depicted, or our leaders and artists in the minds of many, aren’t given the proper credit,” Ruiz continued. “I think people are afraid of losing the authenticity of it and of not seeing those traditions and contributions honored.” For one reader, the omission of Mexicans from our cover prompted her to email a series of questions on our editorial process. “Cultural appropriation is hard to describe. But when you see it you know what it is,” Denise Ojeda said via telephone. “The cover to the Badass piece was very much that for me, depicting our culture in a very pop art way: the Last Supper, the candles,

Cafe & Hookah

the pan dulce. I thought ‘Oh, that’s what that looks like and feels like, a throwback to someone’s culture, how are they not going to get a seat at the table?’” Chris Davila, an area arts advocate who voiced her concerns on the lack of Latinas on the SA2020 Talks panel, shared ways to keep inclusion at the forefront of the city’s and the Current’s consciousness. “Inclusion has to be a deliberate choice. Diversify people on your staff. It’s really easy, and San Antonio is moving in this direction with new people coming in,” Davila said. “Everyone I think is forgetting about people who helped build this city who are Latino, who are doing a lot of the work.” Denise Hernandez, a TedxSan Antonio speaker on systemic oppression, ethnic studies and authentic San Antonio, says the cover, the panel, the Perennial all reflect a focus on San Antonio culture but not necessarily San Antonians. “I don’t want to see us become Austin in that regard. A lot of people don’t even know they’re caught in a situation where they’re oppressed and that’s a bigger issue,” Hernandez said. “I think we have to understand ourselves first. Once people get that idea, we’re just trying to get them to understand we’re here, we matter, our voices matter. It’s a matter of we want the same opportunities and access to things and treatment.” We’re sorry, San Antonio. Your voices do matter, and we promise to double down on our effort to make sure they’re heard.

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22 CURRENT • April 6—April 12, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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CALENDAR

THU

Mr./Miss Gay Fiesta for Life DRAG

From the Coronation of the Queen of the Order of the Alamo (April 20 at the Majestic) to Cornyation, the spooftacular spectacle it inspired (April 19-21 at the Empire), Fiesta loves over-the-top pageantry almost as much as the drag community, which famously crowns queens year-round. Hosted by the nonprofit For Life Pageant System and starring Valentino Capri and Shanice Black, the 2016 edition of Mr./Miss Gay Fiesta for Life judges aspiring royalty in categories ranging from High-Fashion Cowgirl and Urban Cowboy to Evening Gown and Onstage Q&A. Free, 10:30pm, Bonham Exchange, 411 Bonham St., (210) 271-3811, bonhamexchange.com. — Bryan Rindfuss

FRI

Adore Delano DRAG

Competing on the seventh season of American Idol, Daniel Noriega made it into the top 16 contestants, but not without a few insults from Simon Cowell. Five years later, Norigea re-entered the reality arena, competing as Adore Delano on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Since sashaying away from season six, Delano has emerged as Drag Race’s best-selling export based on her Billboard-charting debut Till Death Do Us Party. While the stacked Battle of the Seasons tour only comes as close as Austin, Delano is set to hold court at the Aztec hot on the heels of her sophomore effort #Afterparty. $18-$20, 10pm, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com. — Marco Aquino

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FRI-SAT

15-16

A Night in Pinche San Antonio COMEDY

Haters gonna hate, and local sketch comedy troupe Comedia A Go-Go is taking center stage to let all you pendejos know why you should skip the bank accountsucking celebration known as Fiesta this year during their third annual “unofficial anti-Fiesta” event. We’re pretty sure the comedy team won’t find anything wrong with getting a day off from work for Battle of Flowers, but there’s still plenty for them to mock about the 11-day party that features pooch parades, overpriced gorditas and traffic that’ll make you wish you were in Austin during rush hour. But, man, those funnel cakes. $16, 8pm & 10:15pm Fri-Sat, Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805, lolsanantonio. com. – Kiko Martínez

SAT

Anything for Selena BURLESQUE

Twenty-one years after her death, the influence of Selena QuintanillaPérez runs deeper than ever. Living on through everything from murals to the Austin-based tribute Bidi Bidi Banda, the undisputed Queen of Tejano provides the creative spark for the Pastie Pops’ latest — Anything for Selena. Celebrating “the legend of Selena with a wink and a smile,” the evening of burlesque, boylesque, drag, live music and comedy rallies the talents of Jasper St. James, Chola Magnolia, Foxxy Blue Orchid and co. as they channel the Texan icon’s midriff-baring style and “shake their bidi bidi bom boms.” $20-$50, 8pm, The Overtime Theater, 1203 Camden St., (210) 5577562, pastiepops.com. — BR

CALENDAR

SAT

Soul Shot MUSIC

Bounding down I-35 to bring its soulful, thoughtful, high-energy hip-hop show to SATX from its home in ATX, Riders Against the Storm, a husbandand-wife duo, come highly lauded, having received the Austin Music Award for Best Hip-Hop Act three years in a row. Saturday’s show, billed as “Soul Shot,” also features exciting local neo-soul/ hip-hop/R&B band The Foreign Arm, which, as something of a super-group, showcases the talents of lead vocalist/ guitarist Nicholas Blevins, rapper/singer Andrea “Vocab” Sanderson, bassist/ singer George Garza (of Pop Pistol) and violinist Darien Thomas, among others. $7-$10, 8pm, Paper Tiger, 2410 N. St. Mary’s St., papertigersa.com. — James Courtney

SAT

Latinx III

SPECIAL EVENT

For the organizers of Latinx, Henry Rodriguez and Katalya Bustos, there’s more to LGBTQ nightlife than just fun. The ability to express yourself freely and feel safe, welcomed and supported in an inclusive environment — like the one Latinx provides specifically with queer and trans people of color in mind — is part of living a good life. For its third installment, Latinx, a “celebration of art, experience and pain,” moves down St. Mary’s from Phantom Room to La Botánica. Chapter three promises music from Puppy Butt, Ben Aqua, Polly Anna and Bitter Teen, plus visuals by Miguel Puga of Trajectory Creative. $5, 9:30pm-2am, La Botánica, 2911 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 716-0702, vivalabotanica.com. — JC

SAT-SUN

16-17

Fiesta Arts Fair FIESTA

Fiesta is upon us once again, dear readers. Let us rejoice! Each year, one of our favorite occasions for said civic-minded joyousness is the Fiesta Arts Fair, hosted by the Southwest School of Art. Now in its 42nd year, Fiesta Arts Fair is, at base, a massive art showcase, with artists and artisans from all over the country showing/selling their work. The sprawling two-day affair also features live music — by DeZavala Mariachi Los Paisanos, Deer Vibes, Los Texmaniacs, Bekah Kelso, George Gaytan and more — plenty of food and margaritas, and creative activities for the kiddos. $5-$16, 10am-6pm Sat, 11am5pm Sun, Southwest School of Art, 300 Augusta St., (210) 224-1848, swschool.org. — JC

TUE

Barking Water FILM

As part of their 2016 Native Film Series, the Briscoe screens Sterlin Harjo’s 2009 drama about a terminally ill American Indian man hoping to make amends with his estranged daughter and meet his grandchild. The film series is curated by actor Michael Horse, best known for playing Deputy Tommy “Hawk” Hill in Twin Peaks, a role he’ll revisit in the upcoming limited Showtime series reboot next year. On April 26, Hill will serve as guest speaker during Voices of the West, a distinguished lecture on the evolution of Native American representation in popular media. Free, 6:30pm, Briscoe Western Art Museum, 210 W. Market St., (210) 299-4499, briscoemuseum.org. – Kiko Martínez

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CALENDAR NIGHTLIFE

WED

Barry Manilow

SAT

When Barry Manilow married his longtime partner and business manager Garry Kief in 2014, the small unofficial ceremony at the couple’s Palm Springs home was reportedly the antithesis of the high-glitz Vegas lounge act the “Copacabana” singer has headlined for years now. “We just went ‘Tap, tap, tap’ on a glass and ‘I just wanted to tell you all that Garry and I got married,’” Manilow told The Desert Sun in December. No official documents were filed and news of the wedding was first leaked to the National Enquirer by unnamed sources a year after the fact, but Manilow, who does not discuss Kief or any other aspect of his personal life onstage, told the Sun he was ultimately glad the news got out. “I don’t know who gave that information to the Enquirer, but, you can just say I was thrilled about the reaction to it,” he said of the overwhelming support he received from “Fanilows” in response to the news. The 72-year-old singer-songwriter, who went from writing commercial jingles and playing piano behind Bette Midler in New York’s famed Continental Baths to become a platinum-selling artist on the strength of such singles as “I Write the Songs” and “Mandy,” is currently on his “One Last Time” tour — reportedly his final go-round filling arenas worldwide — news that certainly upsets the average Fanilow more than any belated wedding announcement ever would. $19.75-$169.75, 7:30pm, AT&T Center, One AT&T Center Pkwy., (210) 444-5000, attcenter.com. — Jeremy Martin

Art

”Corita Kent and the Language of Pop” Corita Kent was a Roman Catholic nun, the beloved art director at Immaculate Heart College in Los Angeles and a prolific pop artist. Her works in printmaking offer multiple entry points as they fuse issues of faith and social activism. Encompassing more than 60 works by Kent, SAMA’s latest rightly places the artist alongside contemporaries like Andy Warhol and Roy Lichtenstein. $15-$20, 10am-5pm Wednesday-Thursday, 10am-9pm Friday, 10am-5pm Saturday-Sunday, 10am-9pm Tuesday; San Antonio Museum of Art, 200 W. Jones Ave., (210) 978-8100.

International Artist-In-Residence Exhibition Selected by Spanish curator Juan de Nieves, Daniel García Andújar (Barcelona), Adriana Corral (San Antonio) and Wu Tsang (Los Angeles) present wide-ranging projects in conjunction with Artpace’s revered International Artist-In-Residence program. Free, noon-5pm Wednesday-Sunday; Artpace, 445 N. Main Ave., (210) 212-4900.

”Made in Germany” Organized by the McNay’s René Paul Barilleaux, “Made in Germany” highlights contemporary German works from the Rubell Family Collection. The exhibit, which features paintings, sculptures, photographs and works on paper, collects pieces from such notables as Andreas Gursky, Katarina Fritsch and Gerhard Richter. $15-$20, 10am-4pm Wednesday, 10am-9pm Thursday, 10am-4pm Friday, 10am-5pm Saturday, noon-5pm Sunday, 10am-4pm Tuesday; McNay Art Museum, 6000 N. New Braunfels Ave., (210) 824-5368.

Theater

Hap-Hazard: Making Order Out of Chaos A tree called Oak, Amy Winehouse, Sylvia Plath, a bad mother and a safe room all converge in this “playfest” written by the Bexar Naked Playwrights. $5-$8, 7:30pm Thursday-Saturday; Northeast Lakeview College, Performing Arts Center, 1201 Kitty Hawk Road, (210) 485-0200.

Memphis Loosely based on the career of

groundbreaking disc jockey Dewey Phillips, Memphis throws audiences into the heat of racial tension, love and rock ‘n’ roll in 1950s-era Tennessee. With an original score by David Bryan and Joe DiPietro, the Tony Award-winning musical follows a white man with a passion for R&B and his dangerous affair with an up-and-coming black singer. Touted by critics as “an exuberant musical with classic values,” Memphis lights up the Woodlawn with a production directed by Rebecca Trinidad starring Brian Hodges, Marie Warren and Edward Burkley. $17-$26, 7:30pm Friday-Saturday, 3:30pm Sunday; Woodlawn Theatre, 1920 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 267-8388.

Natya Margam - Dance Expressions Natyanjali Center for Indian Dance presents a compilation of pieces (ranging from traditional to innovative choreographies) illustrating the journey of 14 dancers through the path of joyful and devotional movement, describing the gods and goddesses of India in their glorious manifestations. Free, 3pm Sunday; Carver Community Cultural Center, 226 N. Hackberry St., (210) 492-5387.

Secrets of a Soccer Mom All’s fair in love

and soccer, and sometimes even mama’s

FiEGGsta

Easter may have come and gone but a limited number of extra-special eggs are still hiding out there thanks to the Artist Foundation of San Antonio, a grant-giving nonprofit that’s awarded more than half a million dollars to area artists working in disciplines ranging from literary and visual arts to music composition and costume design. Billed as “Fiesta’s unofficial adult egg hunt,” the inaugural fundraiser packs some serious swag into cascarones ($20 in advance, $25 at the event) and boasts a raffle with “eggcellent” odds — $100 for a strong chance to win a small-scale work of art by the likes of Fernando Andrade, Kristy Perez, Ray Santisteban, Leigh Anne Lester, Franco Mondini-Ruiz or Sara Frantz, to name a few. In addition to guaranteeing “2,000 hoots and a holler,” the festive function features “yummy noshes” from Frank Hot Dogs and “fuel for fun” from Ranger Creek Brewery. $50-$75, 5-9pm, The Warehouse, 1127 S. St. Mary’s St., artistfound. org, (210) 262-8653. — Bryan Rindfuss got to step off the sidelines. In Kathleen Clark’s Secrets of a Soccer Mom, three reluctant mothers rage against their sons in a rapidly unraveling soccer game where confessions fly as fast as the ball. Weaving the pleasant predictability of a Lifetime movie with a laugh-out-loud script, the annual game encourages a bout of unexpected soul-searching as the women question motherhood, independence and whether they should let their boys win. The “sympathetic and compelling comedy” ultimately serves up a heaping helping of girl power as it kicks mommy-blog culture to the curb. Marisela Barrera directs the AtticRep production starring Anna De Luna, Georgette Lockwood and Margaret Tonra. $18-$28, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 2:30pm Sunday; Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624.

Words

PuroSlam Finals After nine months of slamming, it all comes down to this: three rounds, five judges and 10 poets competing for spots on the award-winning PuroSlam team. DJ Donnie Dee provides the beats as SA’s best battle in front of a rowdy crowd. $2, 9:30pm-12:30am Tuesday; The Korova, 107 E. Martin St., (210) 995-7229

Gemini Ink at Taco Land Gemini Ink’s outdoor reading series continues with presentations by Vincent Cooper, Victoria Garcia-Zapata Klein, Laurie Clements Lambeth, Frances Santos and recently appointed San Antonio Poet Laureate Jenny Browne. Free, 6:30pm Friday; Viva Tacoland, 103 W. Grayson St., (210) 734-9673.

Comedy

Jay Mohr When you look at the nearly three-decades-long career of Jay Mohr (Saturday Night Live, Jerry Maguire), there’s a word that comes to mind: entertainer. Comedian, author, actor, sports talk radio host, podcaster — Mohr has constantly reinvented the metaphorical wheel over the course of his award-winning career. $39.50, 8pm Saturday; Charline McCombs Empire Theater, 226 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 226-3333.

Public Axis Podcast Live Former guests, new faces and listener favorites join Comedia A Go-Go’s Larry Garza, Regan Arevalos and Jess Castro for a live incarnation of their unapologetically edgy, round-table style podcast. $10, 8pm Sunday; Laugh Out Loud Comedy Club, 618 NW Loop 410, (210) 541-8805.

Fiesta

A Day in Old Mexico and Charreada For

the last six decades, the Asociación de Charros de San Antonio has championed charrería (often described as Mexican rodeo), competing throughout the year and attracting a diverse crowd each April with its beloved Fiesta event A Day in Old Mexico. Of the 10 official suertes (competitive roping and riding events performed in period costumes), the allfemale escaramuza easily stands out as a fan favorite. Created during the 1950s and officially added to the charreada mix in 1992, the choreographed skirmish showcases a team of young ladies demonstrating precision skills while riding sidesaddle in colorful dresses. $5-$15, 1-6pm Sunday; Charro Ranch, 6126 Padre Drive, (210) 396-9752.

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CALENDAR

Alamo Heights Night Organized by Alamo

Heights Rotary, this 30th annual event combines a variety of festival fare, live entertainment on multiple stages and a carnival midway with laser tag, rock climbing, hamster balls, slides, rides and face painting. $5-$12, 5:30-11:30pm Friday; University of the Incarnate Word, 4301 Broadway, (210) 824-2462.

Celebrations of Traditions of Pow Wow

United San Antonio Pow Wow Inc. hosts a free public gathering to showcase Native American dances, music and crafts. Free, 10am-4pm Saturday; Woodlawn Lake Park Gym, 1103 Cincinnati Ave., (210) 227-4940.

Deco District Arts & Music Festival

Network for Young Artists (NYA) presents a day of Fiesta fun featuring more than 60 food and art vendors, a tamale eating contest, a dunking booth and three stages for entertainment, including live music by Isabel Marie Sánchez, 80Hproject and tejano heroes Little Joe y La Familia. Free, noon-8pm Sunday; Network for Young Artists, 1800 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 226-5611.

Crown the King!The Rey Feo Consejo

Educational Foundation crowns its 68th “People’s King” at this free Fiesta celebration with mariachis and folklórico dancers. Free, 5:30-6:30pm Friday; Main Plaza, 115 N. Main Ave., (210) 775-2343.

Earth Day Presented by the City of San

Antonio, this eco-minded event combines a 5K run, music, dancing, vegetarian food, tree giveaways and educational booths sharing tips to help protect and preserve the land, air and water in our community. Free, 9am-2pm, Woodlawn Lake Park, 1103 Cincinnati Ave., (210) 434-6967.

El Rey Fido XIV Coronation The

culmination of a fundraising campaign, the San Antonio Humane Society’s signature Fiesta event brings together dog/human teams for the crowning of El Rey Fido XIV and introduction of the 2016 Royal Court. Free, 10-11am Saturday;

Grand Hyatt San Antonio, 600 E. Market St., (210) 226-7461.

Fiesta Carnival Glittering lights, exciting

rides and a bevy of food booths pop up in the Alamodome’s parking lot for the duration of Fiesta. Free, 6-11pm Thursday, 5pm-midnight Friday, 11am-midnight Saturday, 11am-11pm Sunday, 6-11pm Monday-Tuesday; Alamodome, 100 Montana St., (210) 207-3663.

Fiesta de los Reyes Among Fiesta’s

largest free events, the Rey Feo Consejo Educational Foundation’s Fiesta de los Reyes features daily live entertainment on multiple stages and more than 30 food booths. Free, 10am-midnight Friday, 10am-1am Saturday, 10am-midnight Sunday-Tuesday; Market Square, 514 W. Commerce St., (210) 775-2343.

Fiesta Pops The San Antonio Symphony joins forces with Mariachi Campanas de América and the Guadalupe Dance Company to celebrate San Antonio’s favorite time of year. $20-$100, 8pm Friday-Saturday, 2pm Sunday; Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624.

Official Opening Ceremonies: Fiesta Fiesta Kick-starting the 125th anniversary of San Antonio’s signature festival, Fiesta Fiesta takes over Alamo Plaza with a colorful procession with member organizations recreating a fantastic flower battle accompanied by marching bands and flower-laden dancers, an abundance of cascarones and the Fiesta medal fan favorite, Pin Pandemonium. Free, 5-9pm Thursday; Alamo Plaza, 300 Alamo Plaza, (210) 227-5191.

Oyster Bake Besides oysters (and a wide

array of other fare), St. Mary’s 100th annual Fiesta celebration features performances by Dennis DeYoung, Kevin Fowler, Bobby Pulido and Chamillionaire (Friday), plus The Heroine, Los DesperadoZ, Kyle Park, Chevelle and R. City (Saturday). $25-$35, 5-11pm Friday, 11am-11pm Saturday; St. Mary’s University, One Camino Santa Maria, (210) 436-3324.

Piñatas in the Barrio Supporting

scholarships and projects connected to San Antonio’s West Side, Action United for Entertainers and Diverse Artists’ Piñatas in the Barrio includes the crowning of the Senior Citizen King and Queen of the Barrio, plus live entertainment, kid-friendly fun and the unveiling of “the barrio’s largest piñata.” Free, noon-10pm Saturday; Plaza Guadalupe, 1327 Guadalupe St., (210) 325-7714. sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 31

ARTS + CULTURE

MARC AREVALO

Beers and Bobo giving royal realness in their backyard

E L B U E O L D UB O R T

and t Court s r e s e D. B on’s 51 e n Way ornyati y v o nch o Rule C A s PE RIS King ael Bob YA D U R Mich

ichael Bobo and his husband Wayne D. Given their longtime, active association with cause. Fiesta Cornyation, which celebrated its 50th Beers — the dynamic duo of W.D. Deli — Cornyation, it seems fitting that board members would anniversary last year, is a nonprofit that raises funds have been preparing for their crowning ask the couple to reign over the fun and frivolity set to assist people in San Antonio living with HIV/AIDS. moment for years, so to speak. over the course of three nights of early evening and It also supports the Robert Rehm Scholarship, which So when the lights go down, the music starts late-night debauchery and bawdy performances. grants college scholarships to San Antonio students thumping, the curtains go up and an odd assortment “We’re so excited. I’m looking forward to the majoring in theater arts. To date, the nonprofit has of outrageous drag queens, city celebs and other camaraderie with others, who all volunteer their time distributed more than $2 million to various charities. bizarre, costumed characters parade across the — and the decadence,” Beers said with a smirk. Thus, the Kings Anchovy have thrown themselves stage of the Empire Theatre, parodying politicos The deli owner, who is also quite the artist, into the throes of fundraising, as is their royal duty, by and mocking newsmakers, Bobo and Beers sketched the designs for the crowns they hosting several fundraisers. will be having a ball — and a vodka or three will wear atop their royal noggins for By the way, don’t expect Bobo and Beers to greet Originally — as they preside over Fiesta Cornyation various Fiesta parties. you at the counter of their Broadway deli during the Published in the as dual Kings Anchovy of the Court of Our “They’ll be big and jeweled and week of Cornyation. Knowing that an exhausting spring issue of Mad, Mad, Mad World. Cornyation-themed, of course,” Bobo added. schedule of never-ending Fiesta functions awaits them, Out In SA “We’ve been making our own crowns for Ray Chavez, coordinator/director, said for they don’t plan to work much. To make things easy, years and wearing them to Fiesta events,” years he had thought about asking the two to they’ve booked a room at the Sheraton Gunter hotel for Bobo said in between a late-afternoon break represent Cornyation. “I like to see what our young a quick walk across the street to the Empire. However, from the regular lunch crowd that descends upon people are doing for the growth of our city, fans of the soups, salads and sandwiches the popular eatery. “We’ve also been involved with and Wayne and Michael have contributed not served at W.D. Deli need not fret. Cornyation for a long time, designing costumes and just to Cornyation, but to the growth of our “We have a great manager and a really Cornyation $15-$40 acting in skits in the late ’80s.” community through their restaurant,” he said. good staff,” Beers said. “They’ll pick up 7:30pm & 10pm Tue-Thu Over the past few years, Bobo has parlayed his good “They are both well-liked and know so many whatever slack there may be.” April 19-21 taste in house music into a gig as Cornyation’s unofficial people. They will help broaden the exposure If you’re friends with them on Facebook, Charlie McCombs Empire Theatre DJ, who gets the party started by providing pounding and appeal of Cornyation.” you will have surmised through their social 226 N. St. Mary’s St. mixes that get audiences grooving in their sometimes While you’re partying your asses off, media musings — pictures of pampered (210) 226-3333 hard-to-come-by seats. (Hint: Buy your tickets early.) know that you’re doing so for an important pooch Putsy or the comical, behind-thefiestacornyation.org

•

32 CURRENT • April 13—April 19, 2016 • sacurrent.com

ARTS + CULTURE

kitchen door antics of running a restaurant (like an employee who conveniently forgets to show up for his shift after a suspected night of drinking) — that the two are happily wed. They officially tied the knot four years ago in the Big Apple. In reality, however, they have been together 31 years. Their love story takes us back to Bobo’s native Arkansas, where he was waiting tables and doing display for a department store until friends encouraged him to relocate to San Antonio, which he did in 1982. He earned a master’s degree in education from Trinity University and then taught English and special education for 10 years at Sam Houston High School. “Some of my former students come visit me at the deli,” he said. Beers, meanwhile, was living in Oklahoma, but moved here in ’79 to attend St. Mary’s University, where he received his biology degree. While in dental school at the University of Texas Health Science Center, he realized that poking and prodding into patients’ oral cavities wasn’t for him after all. “I didn’t like it,” he said. Fast forward to 1984. The two were out on the town separately, when the bold Bobo spotted and pursued the tall, handsome and dark-haired Beers, four years his junior. “He chased me around the bar,” Beers recalled. “I went up to him and said, ‘Let me buy you a beer.’ I was a cougar at 27,” Bobo said with a laugh. “I was nervous,” Beers blushed. And so began three decades of never-ending romance. As

≥ WAYNE D. BEERS

for their business partnership, Beers was working at Cappy’s, but longed to open his own restaurant. He began driving around looking for locations and found a choice spot on McCullough Avenue near the round-about in Olmos Park. In 1990, the two opened the doors to W.D. Deli, whose permanent locale is now on Broadway near Mahncke Park. “The menu is mine,” Beers said. “A lot of recipes are the same as my mom made them.” So we wonder what it’s like operating a bustling

business, our interest having been piqued by some of the colorful teasers posted on Facebook. “It’s like throwing a party every day,” Bobo said. “You never know who’s going to show up and how it’s going to turn out.” Ah, well, if throwing a party is the norm for Bobo and Beers, they’ve had years of practice to prepare for the real thing, as the amiable and fun-loving Kings Anchovy rule over one of the biggest bashes of Fiesta.

≤ MICHAEL BOBO

ROYALTY METER Q&A with Kings Anchovy

PRINCESS DIANA OR PRINCESS GRACE? Princess Grace, I think, if I can’t say“both.” They both had such style, such poise.

Princess Grace! Come on — she was a movie star and a Princess.

DRAMA KING OR DAIRY QUEEN? Dairy Queen. How can you top the Blizzard?

Is a Dairy Queen a queen who is lactose intolerant? If so, drama king.

TURKEY LEG OR FUNNEL CAKE? Funnel cake. Turkey leg is barbaric. Funnel cake is real classy, y’all.

Funnel cake. Meat with bones? No!

FAVORITE FIESTA EVENT (OTHER THAN CORNYATION)? Southwest School of Art’s Fiesta Arts Fair. We find terrific art and artists there. And they have margaritas.

The Battle of Flowers Parade. I love that whole day! sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 33

ARTS + CULTURE

he house was packed and Cornyation was in full swing. The music was blaring, the stage lights glaring, and a group of actors and dancers were performing in another outlandish skit to thunderous roars, when, suddenly, a dancer took an unscripted nosedive into the tables and attendees below. “Fortunately, no one was hurt,” Ray Chavez recalled. On other occasions too numerous to count, Chavez had no choice but to push the originally planned first skit to the last of the lineup because some of the actors were still hauling down the highway, or designers were backstage frantically stitching their costumes only seconds before showtime. But somehow, someway, everything always falls into place despite the on- and off-stage madness, and Chavez, who has organized Cornyation for 33 years, can smile and breathe a sigh of relief. There’s not much time to relax, however. That was just the 7:30 evening show, and the next one starts at 10. “I like the energy and the success that happens when everyone comes together to create the ‘monster’ that Cornyation has become,” the spry, 77-year-old coordinator/director said. “I never imagined it would become such a big event, and to have the city support it, as well as all the people who come to the show, or those who don’t attend but donate money just to keep it going is amazing.” Chavez’s involvement with Cornyation began in 1961, when, shortly after leaving the Army, he and a friend auditioned for a play, No Time for Sergeants, at the San Antonio Little

Theater (SALT). At the time, Cornyation was held Ever wonder how King Anchovy, who watches at the Arneson River Theater as a fundraiser for Cornyation unfold while perched atop his throne, SALT. got his name? Chavez explains it all has to do with That was until, as Chavez remembers, the the very first Cornyation, which began as a satire San Antonio Conservation Society sent a letter of the Coronation of the Queen of the Order of the to SALT, letting them know the show could not Alamo and its elegant duchesses with their flashy, continue at the Arneson because it was “too bejeweled gowns and pomp and circumstance. modern.” “The first [Cornyation] court was the Court of Cornyation found a temporary home upstairs at the Cracked Salad Bowl,” Chavez said. “All the La Fontana restaurant in La Villita, but because of duchesses wore components of a salad, and the the location, attendance dwindled and the show king was King Anchovy, so that stuck. It used to was abandoned. In 1982, however, Jerry be more about the gowns. We ridiculed the Pollack, who was hired as the new director Coronation of the Queen of the Order of of SALT, approached Chavez and Bob the Alamo. We used trash bags, glitter, Originally Jolly about bringing Cornyation back to whatever we could find. Now there are Published in the life. more skits and we’re a satire of local and spring issue of After a failed attempt at jump-starting national news.” Out In SA the event at the Arneson again, mainly McKenzie, meanwhile, is proud of the because people no longer knew what it was, fact that admission fees collected last year Chavez asked the late Hap Veltman, owner of allowed the all-volunteer production to distribute the Bonham Exchange, about hosting Cornyation $200,000 to a number of area charities. in the third-floor ballroom. “It’s great that we’re able to donate money to “It was a huge success,” Chavez said. “It got BEAT AIDS or the San Antonio AIDS Foundation, so big that we had to relocate because we were for instance,” he said. “It enables these nonprofits exceeding the Fire Department’s occupancy safety to help people affected by HIV/AIDS. We also regulations.” contribute to the Robert Rehm Scholarship for So Cornyation moved to Beethoven Hall, where students majoring in theater arts in college. We it enjoyed success for a number of years until, as provide a stipend for four years for these students expected, it outgrew that space, too. (Its present if they maintain good grades.” venue is the Empire Theatre.) Ironically, Chavez points out that while Tom McKenzie, Cornyation board president and Cornyation is happening on Wednesday night a former King Anchovy, has known Chavez since during Fiesta, the Coronation is occurring 1988 and credits him, along with Bob Jolly, for simultaneously at the Majestic Theater. “What a reviving Cornyation after it fell into an abyss for coincidence that both theaters share a back wall,” several years. he said. “There are more queens under one roof “Ray is the heart and soul of Cornyation,” than anyone might imagine.” McKenzie said. “He’s the one who orchestrates Finally, Chavez shared an interesting tidbit many it every year for free. It’s a huge commitment Cornyation-goers might be surprised to know. of time and energy, and it wouldn’t be here “We’ve never had a dress rehearsal,” he said. without him.” “The first time it all happens is at 7:30 Tuesday.”

•

THE LEADER G N I R ation y n r o C alls c e R z e s av Ray Ch ough the Age hr T s c i t An R U DY

34 CURRENT • April 13—April 19, 2016 • sacurrent.com

E AR IS P

Credit Card Accepted

Gate

Beer/Flavored Malt Beverages

STAGE

Soft Drink Heart Healthy Items

ATM Machine

Carnival Rides

First Aid

Medical Trailer

Wine

P Sponsor

Kettle Corn

FOOD

C RED SECTION

Y100 Country

C MATH

Sponsor

BLUE SECTION

RABA LIBRARY

Sponsor Souvenirs

YELLOW SECTION

Storage Distribution

FOOD

STUDENT CTR

STAGE 2

36TH STREET

Dixie Flag

PECAN GROVE

Grove Distribution

Carnival Food & Beverages

Port-a-Johns/ Hand Sanitizing

FOOD FOOD

Media

Ambulance

KXTN 107.5 Tejano Latin

Coupon Booth

Carnival Games

LAW

ALKEK

Volunteer Appreciation

Sweepstakes

Soccer Field

$ UNIVERSITY CTR

TxDOT

LAW LIBRARY

Baseball Field

ADMIN

LAW

Fry Station

KBBT 98.5 R&B/Hip Hop

GAMES

Lost and Found

STAGE 6 Children’s/Family

APRIL 16, 2016 Gate

Beer/Flavored Malt Beverages

Stage

STAGE

Soft Drink Heart Healthy Items

ATM Machine

First Aid

Medical Trailer

C C

Sponsor

BLUE SECTION

RABA LIBRARY

Sponsor Souvenirs

YELLOW SECTION

Storage Distribution

MATH

Wine Sponsor

FOOD

RED SECTION

KJ 97 Country

PECAN GROVE

STUDENT CTR

STAGE 2

36TH STREET

FOOD

Dixie Flag

FOOD

Media

Kettle Corn

LAW

LAW ALKEK

Volunteer Appreciation

Soccer Field

Sweepstakes

TxDOT

LAW LIBRARY

Baseball Field

ADMIN

Souvenirs

Fry Station

$ UNIVERSITY CTR

MIX 96.1 Variety Pop

FOOD

KISS 99.5 Rock

STAGE 1

GREEN SECTION

Fiesta Sponsor Village

ATHLETICS

CARNIVAL SECTION

GAMES

Lost and Found

STAGE 6

Children’s/Family

14 7 12

Beer, Specialty

Caramel Apple Chalupa Chicken Fajita

8 4 7

Chicken on a Stick

Chocolate Covered Banana

Chocolate Covered Strawberries Chopped Brisket Taco

6 8

Corn In A Cup Cotton Candy Egg Roll Fish Taco Flavored Malt Beverage

6 4 4 7 12

CULEBRA ROAD

FOOD

C C $

CHAM. DIST.

FOOD

Fry Station

CAMINO SANTA MARIA (VIA BUS SITE)

Section

Food Truck Food Truck Fried Cheesecake Fried Oysters Frito Pie Fruit Cup

4 12 6 6

Hamburger Hot Cheetos with Cheese Iced Tea

6 6 4 10-14

Mini Funnel Cakes Oyster Shot (raw oysters)

6 4

Pizza Pretzel

6 6

Red Bull Roasted Corn Sausage on a Stick

6 10 6

Shaved Ice

Shrimp on a Stick Slushie Soda (bottled)

8 5 6

Steak on a Stick

Turkey Leg

Walking Taco

Water (bottled)

Wine

Coupons

Aguas Frescas Arnold Palmer Baked Oysters Beef Fajita Beer

6 4 14 7 12

Beer, Specialty

Boiled Crawfish Cascarones Chalupa Chicken Fajita

12 2 4 7

Chicken on a Stick

Chocolate Covered Strawberries Chopped Brisket Taco Churro Corn In A Cup Cotton Candy Cucumber in a Cup Egg Roll Fish Taco Flavored Malt Beverages

6 8 4 6 4 6 4 7 12

Hamburger Kettle Corn

PURPLE SECTION

Tennis Courts

Baked Oysters Beef Fajita Beer

Fried Cheesecake Fried Oysters Frito Pie Frozen Lemonade Fruit Cup

STAGE 5

FOOD

Food Truck Food Truck

BUD LIGHT ZONE

FOOD

Fry Station

FOOD

Grove Distribution

Carnival Food & Beverages

Port-a-Johns/ Hand Sanitizing

Carnival Rides

+ P

SATURDAY

Ambulance

Coupons

Aguas Frescas

Saturday Food Items TREADAWAY

KXTN 107.5 Tejano Latin

Coupon Booth

Carnival Games

FOOD

STAGE 3

Credit Card Accepted

CHAM. DIST.

CULEBRA ROAD

CAMINO SANTA MARIA (VIA BUS SITE)

KONO 101 Greatest Hits

STAGE 1

FOOD

CARNIVAL SECTION

Water

Fiesta Sponsor Village

ATHLETICS

Tennis Courts

Friday Food Items

Kettle Corn

PURPLE SECTION

FOOD FOOD

GREEN SECTION

STAGE 5

BUD LIGHT ZONE

FOOD

NORTH

Fry Station

STAGE 3

Stage

TREADAWAY

FRIDAY

APRIL 15, 2016 Water

4 12 6 4 6 6 10-14

Loaded Doritos Mini Funnel Cakes Nachos Non-alcoholic Margarita Oyster Shot (raw oysters)

6 6 6 6 4

Paleta Pizza Red Bull

4 6 6

Roasted Corn

Sausage on a Stick Shrimp on a Stick

6 8

Soda (bottled)

Steak on a Stick

Turkey Leg

Water (bottled)

Wine

Section

n e p O 7 / 4 2

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sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 39

40 CURRENT • April 13—April 19, 2016 • sacurrent.com

ARTS + CULTURE

4 San Anto shops to hit up this April

Fie sta Flair ALYSSA WALKER • PHOTOS BY JACQUELINE FIERRO

≥

From top to bottom: The Anthill by Anthony Ryan, Camilla Crown, Eye Candy, Chic’tique

In the past two years, San Antonio has welcomed three H&Ms to the most prominent malls in the city. While we enjoy shopping at trendy mainstream stores for deals and the hottest looks, Fiesta in San Antonio calls for a totally different aesthetic. From traditional floral prints to hot colors and stylish one-of-a-kind accessories, we’re hitting up local stores all over town.

You know that show Project Runway? Anthony Ryan won Project Runway All Stars and went on to open his flagship store in San Antonio. Stone Oak, to be specific. While The Anthill by Anthony Ryan some designs are strictly 18720 Stone Oak Pkwy., Suite 107 Anthony Ryan, others (210) 404-9480 • intheanthill.com are pulled based on his personal style, which reflects the boho, Free People look du jour. For Fiesta, we pulled a denim shirt dress with white embroidery topped with a black hat. This outfit is quick and easy to toss on, and you can keep the sun out of your eyes while you sip on your margarita at NIOSA. For night, a slightly more risqué look featuring a burnt orange, high-low skirt with a white top. Pair the top with a white undershirt, or maybe just a good bra — we’re not here to judge! The down to earth atmosphere of the store makes for quite the pleasant shopping experience. Fashion-forward women unite! Camilla Crown, located down the street from The Anthill, sells floral prints galore, colorful dresses and statement jewelry. For our Fiesta day Camilla Crown look, we opted for a blue and 427 N. Loop 1604 W., white striped off-the-shoulder Suite 105, dress. The loose fit makes it (210) 497-5406 flattering for all body types and shopcamillacrown.com the fringe necklace adds just the right amount of oomph. For night, a floral dress paired with a long, beaded necklace. This dress shows off just the right amount of skin. Also, if you’re looking for twopiece outfits, Camilla Crown has the best highwaisted bottoms and crop tops.

Located in central Downtown is a shop specializing in plus-size fashion: Eye Candy Boutique. When you walk into the boutique, be ready for your eyes to shoot in every direction. Fiesta can get crazy which is why our day look consists Eye Candy Boutique of a dress while our night look 531 Navarro St. features some dark wash jeans, (210) 363-3572 so you have optimal movement heyeyecandy.com without risk of embarrassment. The flowing, teal top and trendy, glitter shoes will be a great conversation starter. Not to mention those amazing booties paired with the army green dress. From dresses and jumpers to jeans and T-shirts (tons of Fiesta sayings!), Eye Candy Boutique is a one-stop shop for fashion essentials. The price point will cause your wallet to let out a sigh with blouses starting at $29 and denims at $38. Just when we thought we couldn’t find another amazing local shop in San Antonio, we entered Chic’tique and Raba Vintage in La Villita and our minds exploded. Seriously, Chic’tique why have we been shopping 1333 Buena Vista St., at La Cantera?! Chic’tique Suite 202, and Raba Vintage features (956) 285-5991 the best of bohemian, chic shopchictique.com and vintage. For your daytime activities, make a statement in colorful embroidered shorts, a white top and a fringe short sleeve vest to tie it all together. Only like one item? Go make it your own! The ladies at the OPEN pop up will assist you in creating the ultimate Fiesta outfit. Once the sun sets, pull out the floral crop top and wide-legged jeans that pay homage to the ’60s. Don’t forget the choker and fringe purse to complete this sexy look. When you’re shopping for your numerous Fiesta looks, why not shop local? Fiesta kicks off on April 14 and we’ll be out there searching for the best looking outfits.

Walker and Fierro blog for Twenty Something SA about the city’s evolving lifestyle and entertainment options.

sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 41

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42 CURRENT • April 13—April 19, 2016 • sacurrent.com

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ARTS + CULTURE

MICHAEL MARKS

Party Supplies A Look at Fiesta on Main’s Busiest Season

MICHAEL MARKS/@MICHAELPMARKS

≥

As Fiesta approaches, San Antonio blooms with brilliant blues, oranges, pinks and greens. The colors come in the forms of papel picado, garlands, piñatas, halos and cascarones. For a few weeks they provide bright bursts and pops within San Antonio’s landscape as the city celebrates. And much of that color – the hundreds of thousands of confetti-filled eggs, yards upon yards of ribbon, tons of papier mâché – comes from a single source: Fiesta on Main (2025 N. Main Ave.), a rambling white-columned house on the corner

of Ashby Place and Main Avenue, which has long served as one of the city’s premier dispensaries of all things Fiesta. The store was originally founded as an outlet for Mexican artisans to sell their goods in San Antonio, and it still does that. The vast majority of the store’s products are handmade in Mexico, either by individual artists or by employees of the store’s manufacturing plant in Mexico City, where they make cascarones, piñatas and other goods. The store’s busiest period is right now, according to Luis Pineda, the store’s manager.

Wholesale buyers start purchasing products in January, and individual retail customers start buying their annual stock shortly after that. From there, it’s all about getting ready for next year’s Fiesta, Pineda said. “It’s a year-round commitment,” Pineda said. “I don’t want to say we’re ambassadors of San Antonio or Fiesta, but we can definitely say that a lot of people look up to us ... to define what Fiesta is by the products that we sell.” mmarks@sacurrent.com sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 43

visit santikos.com FOR showtimes and INFORMATION

SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS

APRIL 16 AT 11:55 AM At Palladium | Rialto Silverado | Embassy

APRIL 19 AT 7 PM At Palladium | Rialto | Bijou Silverado | Embassy

FREE MOVIE NIGHT APRIL 21 AT 7 PM At Bijou

APRIL 24 AND 27 AT 2 PM AND 7 PM At Palladium | Rialto Silverado | Embassy

BIJOU FEATURED FILM OF THE WEEK CATHERINE FROT

Marguerite Paris, 1920s. Marguerite is a wealthy woman, lover of the opera. She loves to sing for her friends, although she's not good. Her friends and her husband kept her fantasy. The problem begins when she decides to perform in front of a real audience.

LIKE US ON FACEBOOK /SANTIKOSFAN AND FOLLOW US ON TWITTER @SANTIKOS

SHARE THE LEGACY. SHARE THE EXPERIENCE.

44 CURRENT • April 13—April 19, 2016 • sacurrent.com

“bEsT tHeAtER iN aMeRiCA” - eNtErTaInMeNT wEeKlY

DRAFTHOUSE.COM

SCREENS

I PITY THE RICH

Marguerite weighs the cost of truth TRAVIS BUFFKIN | @DTBUFFKIN

It’s hard to seriously consider the afflictions of the affluent, the follies of the filthy rich, the woes of the wealthy. It is one of our class weapons, a great equalizer, that we admonish them as spoiled, undeserving of sympathy due to their many luxuries. The have-nots must secure some sort of capital to hold over the oppressor and that capital is our dismissal of their blues, their worries, troubles and woes. We poopoo any one of their numerous and seemingly ridiculous concerns, cast them off as “First World problems.” However, as Bob Dylan so eloquently stated, “We all wear the same thorny crown.” This is the hairy predicament in which Marguerite Dumont (Catherine Frot) finds herself. A wealthy baroness whose life of frivolity and refined etiquette has been ill-spent, her sole passion, besides capturing the attention of her unfaithful, emotionally removed husband Georges (André Marcon), being to become a celebrated opera singer. Dumont spends her time listening to grandiose Victrolas — cornucopias spilling forth the plight of opera’s most tragic characters — poring over the techniques and styles of the mastersingers and compositions of Europe’s finest composers and librettists. She has rooms, halls in her majestic estate, devoted entirely to the delusion that she is a renowned opera singer — for her friends and the clubs and artists of which she is a respected patron, tell her so. Her faithful butler Madelbos (Denis M’Punga) regularly takes photographs of the lady of the house in costume, posed as if in the throes of an aria for one of the leading companies on the continent. This is the profound revenge that the world plays upon this exceedingly wealthy and belligerently innocent French woman: Their avoidance of the terrible truth that Marguerite Dumont, based on the American socialite Florence Foster Jenkins (who Meryl Streep will portray in a forthcoming film of the same name), sings like complete shit. Paradoxically, everyone that Marguerite meets and strikes up some sort of acquaintance with does so under the auspices of aiding her career, when, in fact, it is their position they seek to advance. From the opera critic Lucien Beaumont (Sylvain Dieuaide) and his anarchistic confidant Kyrill Von Priest (Aubert Fenoy), the former appeasing his conscience by giving Marguerite a true insider’s peak into the world of opera and the latter heralding her caterwauling as a strike against the bourgeois formalities of modern art, proclaiming to the beloved Mandelbos, who keeps the charade alive in order to finish his photograph series of the Lady of the

• Her Majesty of the innocent and aloof: Catherine Frot as Baroness Marguerite Dumont.

Estate. In fact, the loyal butler is the primary guardian of Marguerite’s fantasy, constantly removing damaging articles in the paper and doing everything in his power to silence any critics; perpetuating the myth of Marguerite’s gift. Marguerite’s position functions as a moral litmus test. Everyone that comes in contact with her has their convictions examined. The washed-up opera singer Atos Pezzini (Michel Fau), who is charged with taking on Marguerite as a pupil, experiences one of the most fascinating quandaries of the film: To toss aside his deep loyalty to his art and play along, being compensated handsomely but dragging his name through the mud as Marguerite’s instructor, or staying true to his craft and sinking into impoverished, shameful obscurity. Whether Pezzini is a fraud, whether the music he so claims to love is still alive and vital within him or can be compromised by greed and fear is tested in Marguerite’s every note. Another exciting question that is proposed throughout the fleeting two-hour film is what exactly makes “good” art? At one point, Lucien holds a conversation with a Mr. Mole, a man who is paid to clap or boo at performances in an effort to draw critical praise or disgust. While the learned opera critics — Lucien and Mr. Mole — discuss

the “bleating” occurring onstage (a supposedly poor performance by Pezzini), Marguerite sits rapt in attention, hanging on every note. Mr. Mole sums up the criticism business aptly, recalling being paid to boo Victor Hugo, a man he greatly respected. While Marguerite desires nothing more than the attention and affection of her Georges, a man who has allowed his marriage of financial convenience and philandering to guilt him into keeping up the joke, it is precisely her aristocracy that shields her from criticism and the truth of Georges’, or anyone else’s, real feelings. Though rich in materials, Marguerite is exceedingly poor in what matters most: the truth. Truly, an impoverished existence. dtbuffkin@sacurrent.com

Marguerite (R) 127 min. Dir. Xavier Giannoli; writ. Xavier Giannoli, Marcia Romano; feat. Catherine Frot, André Marcon, Denis M’Punga, Sylvain Dieuaide, Aubert Fenoy, Michel Fau, Christa Théret Opens at Santikos Bijou Cinema Bistro Friday, April 15 sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 45

47 FOOD

ON A STICK It’s time for all the fair snacks JESSICA ELIZARRARAS/@JESSELIZARRARAS

Fiesta is possibly the worst time for anyone, let alone a food writer to decide to go on a diet, but here we are. As the city’s biggest party turns 125, the food festivities and parties are firing up those grills, fryers and then some starting this weekend. Here’s a quick rundown of some of the best eats on a stick you’ll find. Fiesta De Los Reyes Market Square, 514 W. Commerce St. 10 a.m.-midnight April 15-24; 10 a.m.-1 a.m. April 16 & 21 reyfeoconsejo.org Free admission If you’re lucky enough to work Downtown, Fiesta de los Reyes should become part of your daily routine. Presented by the Rey Feo Educational Foundation, the continuous 10 day-long shindig features more than 30 food vendors. Choose from Cajun shrimp, hamburgers, pizza, fruit cups, aguas frescas, funnel cakes and Tex-Mex favorites, because having a chicken gordita for lunch should be part of any Fiesta regimen. Fiesta Oyster Bake St. Mary’s Campus, One Camino Santa Maria 5-11 p.m. April 15, 11 a.m.-11 p.m. April 16 oysterbake.com $25 Oyster Bake, the holy grail of all things shellfish. The St. Mary’s University event turns 100 this year with 100,000 oysters — fried, baked or freshly shucked — and fare foods, including chalupas, chicken on a stick, turkey legs and Hot Cheetos with Cheese (no way those are onplan…). The two-day festival also includes performances by Dennis DeYounge, The Music of Styx, Kevin Fowler, Bobby Pulido and Houston’s Chamillionaire.

Taste of New Orleans Sunken Garden Theatre, 3875 N. St. Mary’s St. 5-11 p.m. April 15, 11 a.m.-11 p.m. April 16, 11 a.m.-10 p.m. April 17 saza.org $15 Know what goes great with smooth jazz and bouncy Zydeco? Alligator on a stick. Hosted by the San Antonio Zulu Association, Taste of New Orleans packs in bayou favorites such as gumbo, crawfish, shrimp etouffee, red beans and rice, boudin, and more. Experience a Big Easy feel within SA’s borders during this family-friendly, threeday fest. Chili Queens Chili Cook-Off Bonham Exchange, 411 Bonham St. 3-8 p.m. April 17 bonhamexchange.com No cover The Happy Foundation invites queens of all shapes, sizes and genders to compete in this official Fiesta San Antonio event that brings together professionals and amateurs in creating the national dish of Texas and vying for The Whoochie Tackiest Queen competition. Proceeds benefit the San Antonio AIDS Foundation Kitchen. A Night In Old San Antonio La Villita, 418 Villita St. 5:30-10:30 p.m. April 19-22 niosa.org $12 in advance, $15 at the door Do you hate massive crowds, general jovialness, and the sweet, sweet smell of a couple hundred grills throughout La Villita? Then you might want to stay as far away from NIOSA as possible. But if you’re willing to weave around a couple thousand of your closest friends, there are plenty of musthave bites to be found including steer on a stick, shypoke eggs and more in Frontier Town, as well as Mr. Chicken at Froggy Bottom. Be patient with your Bongo-k-Bobs makers at International Walkway. Remember, these are all volunteers. Taste of the Northside The Club at Sonterra, 901 E. Sonterra Blvd. 5:30-10:30 p.m. April 20 brightonsa.org $85

•

Everything’s better on a stick.

We get it. Sometimes you don’t want to leave the comfort of the North Side to enjoy a little Fiesta fun. Support the Brighton Center, which provides family and community education and developmental services for children with disabilities, and have a your fill of Loopland eateries. Participating restaurants include the newly opened Buckles and Buns, Claire’s Sweet Treats, Cocina Fresca, Texas Roadhouse, Maggiano’s Little Italy, Papouli’s Greek Grill, Salata, Smokey Mo’s Bar-B-Q, Fish City Grill, Pericos Mexican Cuisine, Kona Grill, Orange Leaf, Chuy’s, Cover 3, Twang, La Fogata, Brio Tuscan Grille, The Melting Pot, Heavenly Gourmet and Delicious Tamales. flavor@sacurrent.com

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sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 47

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3938 S Zarzamora St.•San Antonio, Texas • 210.932.2500 • AlamoPizza.net 48 CURRENT • April 13—April 19, 2016 • sacurrent.com

Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner & everything in-between! FULL BAR OPENS AT 7AM! Sun: 11 am - 2 am | Mon-Sat: 7 am - 2 am | 5562 Fredericksburg Rd. In the Medical Center

sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 49

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Wed April 13th Stephen Chopek • 6-8PM Ruben V • 8-10PM Thursday April 14th Michael Martin Duo • 8-10:30Pm Los Nahuatlatos 10-12AM Friday April 15th West Kings Highway • 6:30-8:30PM Elyze • 9:30-11:30PM Saturday April 16th E2 • 4-6PM Red Wood Rising • 6:30-9pM Ready Betty • 9:30-11:30 Sunday April 17th El Westside Sound System and Friends • 2-6PM

628 Jackson St | 210-320-1840 50 CURRENT • April 13—April 19, 2016 • sacurrent.com

From the get-go, Juniper Tar was a quirky place in a risky location. But, under its original muse, Matty Gee, it had moxie. The rebooted JT, now under the ownership of Chris Erck and the direction of Esquire Tavern alumnus, the bearded Benjamin Krick, is a more approachable operation — for starters, the dress code that this writer once ran afoul of (a shirt with a collar was hastily produced) is no longer in place. But don’t take “approachable” as damning with faint praise. With a few exceptions (the odd-seeming stoplight has been removed, a gilded mirror relocated), the décor retains its essential over-thetopness. And the drink list may even be more challenging/rewarding. I began with big, boozy and spicy. Burning in Effigy ($13) is composed of blanco tequila with Chartreuse, lemon, crème de cacao and Ancho Reyes, and it reconciles these type-A personalities with the deftness of a high-priced analyst. (Chartreuse can easily get overbearing in my experience, spicy-sweet Ancho can also be a bully and crème de cacao calls to mind bad chocolate martinis — all in lesser hands.) Equally as impressive is El Tule ($13), balancing the smokiness of mezcal with the raisin-y sweetness of Madeira, the floral bitterness of Amaro Montenegro and the dark heartbeat of xocolatl mole bitters. Toning things down just a tad, the Bushwick ($11) brings spicy rye, dry vermouth, perfume-y maraschino liqueur

and nostalgic Jägermeister (and its 35 herbs) to the party. It’s not the life thereof, but it’s hardly a wallflower, either. Rather, this is a mellow cocktail you could continue to sip throughout the evening. The fact that the Profumo Affair is served in a diminutive Nick and Nora coupe might lull the unsuspected into thinking that the drink is benign, but get a load of these ingredients — some of which are hardly household names: Armagnac (OK, that’s easy), Byrrh (not so much), Bigallet ChinaChina (even less-so) and Benedictine. Only recently back in the U.S. market, Byrrh is what’s called an “aromatized” wine-based aperitif, with quinine as one of its more aromatic components. Bigallet is a liqueur distilled from both bitter and sweet orange peels. As made by the bartender, the cocktail was served not all that cold, which seemed appropriate, with a swath of orange. There comes a time in every evening, however, when a little sparkling lightness added to one’s drink is a very good idea. Enter the Portuguese gin and tonic ($9); it will change your mind about that classic summertime quaffer — not the least because of the additional body added by white port. Now, your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to search algarrobina and Amargo Chuncho bitters on Google, the better to appreciate the pisco-based algarrobina sour. While you’re at it, also look up kalimoxto. Never hurts to be prepared.

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MUSIC

STAY WOKE!

• SoMo 2410 N. ST MARY’S ST. / ADVANCE TIX - PAPERTIGERSA.COM

Wednesday, April 13th First MD. Presents

A breakdown of SA's upcoming hip-hop shows

EXITMACY MASQUERADE GALA

DOORS 6PM / SHOW 9PM - ALL AGES Saturday, April 16th Paper Tiger Presents

BOBBY LANE

With 240,000 followers both on Instagram and Twitter, it’s safe to say people are hip to the SoMo movement. Based out of Denison, born in Austin, Joseph Anthony Somers-Morales has concrete Texas roots, but don’t pigeonhole him to a particular sound. SoMo gained notoriety the newfashioned way: YouTube covers and playing clubs with his father. He is known for doing Bieber covers better than the Biebs. Nowadays, SoMo is rubbing shoulders with your aux cord favorites. His latest project, My Life II, is filled with big production and anthems you’ll find yourself singing repeatedly. If you lust after good vibes, heartfelt melodies and awesome writing, look no further than Austin’s Mélat. Breaking the mold of modern radio R&B, her sound is reminiscent of ‘90s Bad Boy artist, and Biggie’s lady, Faith Evans, minus the bubble jackets. Start with “Twenty Ten,” off It Happens So Fast, a dope-ass track. SoMo w/ Quinn XCII and Mélat

SOUL SHOT: RIDERS AGAINST THE STORM on his rise from the depths of poverty. Boosie’s latest effort Out My Feelings (In My Past) is filled with pain, triumph and life lessons, from a real one’s perspective. You gotta love that. Lil’ Boosie w/ King Kyle Lee, Blake, Mateo Sun and Vision $30-$125 8pm Fri, April 15 Alamo City Music Hall 1305 E. Houston St. alamocitymusichall.com

DENZEL CURRY Hailing from South Florida’s Carol City, Denzel Curry is the cult … and you can choose to follow. His lyrics fly like assault rifles with pinpoint accuracy and fury, reminiscent of a young 2PAC. The former Raider Klan-affiliate is the hood narrator for the youth and has crafted a raw and gritty style, a grips-you-by-the-shirt approach to his times growing up in Dade County. Don’t play yourself or sleep, Curry drops jewels. Denzel Curry – 2055: The Ult Experience w/ Allan Kingdom

$22 7pm Wed, April 13 Alamo City Music Hall 1305 E. Houston St. alamocitymusichall.com

$20 7:30pm Sat, April 23 Alamo City Music Hall 1305 E. Houston St. alamocitymusichall.com

BOOSIE BADAZZ It’s been two years since his release following a bid in the pen, but Torrance Hatch, aka Lil’ Boosie, is now stronger and ready for the world as Boosie Badazz. The Baton Rouge representative embodies the fabric of a hustler, the epitome of strength and perseverance through the pitfalls

CYPRESS HILL The 1990s were the golden era of hip-hop — packed with big personas, b-boys and b-girls gathered ’round to hear what’s been called the greatest time capsule of modern urban music ever. Cypress Hill contributed to that greatness. Straight outta South Gate, California the group

has that special something and a certain honesty that instantly connects. Advocates of cannabis and pillars to the community, Cypress Hill has given us more than taken from the culture we love so much. They’ve got notable hit after smoke-able hit, like “How I Could Just Kill a Man,” “Insane in the Brain” and “Hits From the Bong.” The group is a fine example of the follow-your-dream ethos, letting their true selves shine through the clouds (of herb). Cypress Hill 25th Anniversary World Tour $25-$35 8pm Tue, April 26 Aztec Theatre 104 N. St. Mary’s St. theaztectheatre.com

FREDO SANTANA Glory Boyz co-CEO and supergoon Fredo Santana embodies trap and its offspring “drill music,” invented, arguably, by his cousin Chief Keef. Santana, hailing from the war zone that is Chicago, where it’s been said that “it’s easier to find a gun than it is to find a parking spot,” has become a spokesman for Chi-raq, offering fair warnings of the life and its consequences. “Better Play It Smart,” found on his latest project, is a plea to not fuck around, straight up. Again, consequences. Fredo Santana $20-$25 7pm Sun, May 1 The Korova 107 E. Martin St. (210) 226-5070 thekorova.com

W/ DJ DONNIE DEE, THE FOREIGN ARM, WORLDWIDE DOORS 6PM / SHOW 9PM - ALL AGES Sunday, April 17th Transmissions Events Presents

BANE: THE FINAL TOUR W/ BURN, AXIS DOORS 6PM / SHOW 8PM - ALL AGES Tuesday, April 5th Attaboy Burgers Presents

BEER FANG’S VHS CINEMA

$1 HOT DOGS / $7 PITCHERS DOORS 6PM / MOVIE STARTS AT SUNDOWN Saturday, April 23rd Transmission Events Presents

HAR MAR SUPERSTAR DOORS 6PM / SHOW 9PM - ALL AGES Sunday, April 24th Ghostpizza & Mondo Nation Present

POWER TRIP & ANTWON DOORS 1PM / SHOW 2PM - ALL AGES Monday, April 25th Transmissions Events Presents

THE COATHANGERS

DOORS 6PM / SHOW 8PM - ALL AGES Tuesday, April 26th Transmission Events Presents

THE FRONT BOTTOMS W/ BRICK + MORTAR, DIET CIG DOORS 6PM / SHOW 7PM - ALL AGES Thursday, April 28th Transmissions Events Presents

CHICANO BATMAN

W/ IMARHAN DOORS 6PM / SHOW 8PM - ALL AGES Friday, April 29th Transmission Events Presents

LEE ‘SCRATCH’ PERRY 40TH ANNIVERSARY SUPER APE TOUR DOORS 6PM / SHOW 8PM - ALL AGES Saturday, April 30th Transmissions Events Presents

HIGHLY SUSPECT

AUDIO DAMN! DOORS 6PM / SHOW 8PM - ALL AGES

ADVANCE TIX - PAPERTIGERSA.COM sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 53

MUSIC

REMEMBERING MERLE, WATCHING WILLIE An abbreviated homage to Merle Haggard (best read drunk)

TRAVIS BUFFKIN | @DTBUFFKIN

Whatever will Willie do? What will we all do? Originally scheduled to play the WhiteWater Amphitheater in New Braunfels over three glorious nights (April 15-17) with the one and only Merle Haggard – “the poet of the common man,” the bard from behind bars – the online poster of the legends went down without warning. Mr. Haggard’s name and famously crinkled visage was removed. I reached out to his PR person. Silence. I was scheduled to interview Merle before his last stop in the area at Floore’s Country Store last November. I had my questions, all of them impeccably researched and poignantly penetrating. “Does the inspiration to create stay as strong once your heroes are gone?” being my first. Hit him in the heart, I reckoned. Of course it was going to be an honor and one of the highlights of my life to talk to the man born with not only the most country name of all time but the life experience and catalog of a true songwriting sage. Alas, Merle, I was told, wasn’t feeling well and wanted to rest his voice. Of course I understood. I never would have dreamed I’d be able to talk with the poet who penned such heartbreakingly eloquent lines as “Twinkle, twinkle lucky star / Can you send me luck from where you are / Can you make a rainbow shine that far / Twinkle, twinkle lucky star” or “Sing me back home, with a song I used to hear / Make my old memories come alive / Sing me away and turn back the years / Sing me back home before I die.” I never did talk to the man. Merle Haggard passed away on April 6, 2016, on his 79th birthday. His death still hasn’t fully hit me, like most 54 CURRENT • April 13—April 19, 2016 • sacurrent.com

of his fans and admirers. I couldn’t cry at work. Not that I wouldn’t, I just couldn’t. Life and its perpetual motion shuffled me forward: to a doctor’s appointment, to get the kid from school, to H-E-B for a handful of groceries. inertia All of the mundane nuances of everyday existence that propels us ever ushered me onward. forward along our mortal path. One of my Until now. Now as I sit at the keyboard opining on a heroes, and one of Willie Nelson’s heroes, reached the man whose art meant more to me than just about any end of that path. other human being living or dead, now I miss the man I So, does the flame of inspiration, the gut-blaze for the never knew. expression of shared opinions, feelings and sentiments So, I ask again. Whatever will Willie do? With his still burn as bright and strong once the stoker of this three-day series of concerts still scheduled at the New soulful immolation has proceeded us into the void? I can Braunfels venue, how will he conduct himself, his band no longer write in the albeit immature and delusional and his show with the man, his running partner and one hopes that Merle Haggard will ever hear it, read it or be of the last outlaw country troubadours, a man who was impressed by it. That’s kids shit, anyway. supposed to be right at his side for the trinity of tour And maybe you couldn’t give two fucks about Merle dates at the riverside venue, gone for good? Ronald Haggard, or Willie Nelson for that matter. That’s Surely there will be some sort of tribute. Songs will not a crime. But I do and, frankly, I’ve got the space to be sung. Tears cried. On his Sirius XM channel, Willie’s say it. So it’s getting said. Roadhouse, “Papa Bear,” as he was affectionately So, again, whatever will Willie do? What will we referred to by daughter and DJ Paula Nelson, called in do? What will I do when Willie’s gone and I’m left with and stated in a mournful, raspy tone – nothing all you can’t-write-your-way-out-of-a-paperlike the familiar drawl and humorous delivery bag, half-ass, know-nothing “songwriters?” Willie Nelson w/ Ryan of the redheaded stranger we are accustomed Bingham (Fri & Sat), I guess I’ll cry, drink, sing along and praise to – that Merle would want us to sing his songs Jamey Johnson and that eternal flame that flashes in all the Shakey Graves (Sun) best artists. And I’ll know the answer to my and celebrate his legacy. That’s a given. $64.67-$2,152.43 question for Merle: Does the inspiration to Merle’s death is just another reminder of the Fri 7pm, Sat 7pm, Sun 6pm, create stay as strong once your heroes are fragility and fickleness of life, the changing of April 15-17 WhiteWater Amphitheater gone? the seasons. All of our heroes must eventually 11860 FM 306 I’ll see you Sunday, Willie. die. All of our influences must pass on before us. (830) 964-3800 dtbuffkin@sacurrent.com There’s no escaping the eternal juggernaut of whitewaterrocks.com

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UNCHARTED WATERS Sturgill Simpson’s New Album is Ambitious and (Mostly) Brilliant JAMES COURTNEY

Since the 2012 dissolution of his bluegrass band Sunday Valley, songwriter, seriously badass guitar player, expectation-defier and preternaturally gifted country crooner Sturgill Simpson has quickly come into his own. His latest album A Sailor’s Guide to Earth is his third in as many years and by far his most ambitious and genre-diverse, featuring elements of soul, jazz, southern rock and country. Sailor’s Guide was preceded by the excellent High Top Mountain (2013), an album of straightforward yet solid hard country, and the groundbreaking, star-making, tour de force Metamodern Sounds in Country Music (2014), a more or less classic country album with delicate psychedelic flourishes and inventive, pseudophilosophical lyrics. Less adventurous fans of Metamodern will scoff at this new Simpson produced, Dap Kings-featuring curveball. Not that Simpson cares. Though he has expressed some concern about whether he’ll keep his fans as he progresses artistically, he’s explained on multiple occasions that he’s not beholden to any boundaries set by the country music mainstream. He was never going to sit still or be content to repeat himself. That the album starts off with the framing song “Welcome To Earth (Pollywog),” sounding like a nursery rhyme tune rising from rough noise, is telling. Simpson wants to craft

something perfect and innocent, a guide to life (it’s in the album’s title, duh), out of the chaos and pain of his own experience. Truth be told, though it’s hard to raise aesthetic quibbles with an artist as gifted and sincere as Simpson, “Welcome,” like a few other parts here, is weighed down by its own sentimentality and lofty sonic ambitions. I mean, it’s hard to imagine a more powerful or terrifying goal than crafting a mission statement, apology and lifeguide for your child. But, Simpson is an artist who stubbornly chases his own vision – temperance and expectations be damned – which proves his greatest asset (besides his fantastic voice and band) and his only weakness. The album’s immediate standouts include lead single “Brace For Impact (Live a Little),” a heady Southern rock song with jazz infusions, “Keep it Between the Lines,” a jangly and soulful number, full of brass and bravado, and album closer “Call To Arms,” a furious, country rock send up of war. And then there’s “In Bloom,” a Nirvana cover and the album’s second single, which succeeds on the sheer power of Simpson’s delivery. All things considered, Sailor’s Guide is at once a cantankerous contrarian’s statement, a beautiful and ambitious song set, and a massive artistic leap of faith. Simpson’s bravery and self-reliance are to be celebrated every bit as much as his considerable talent.

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MUSIC

FINAL BACKWARD GLANCE

Bane’s final tour caps over two decades of punk rock history ABBY MANGEL

Spewing the mantra “louder, physically exhausting shows at the age harder and faster,” hardcore of 40-something, Bedard and Dalbec emerged from a synthesis of are winding down Bane’s legacy, punk rock and heavy metal, a clash of relenting the reins of their genre’s genres striving to reclaim the selffuture to a new generation with 2014’s produced authenticity of its unaffected appropriately titled, Don’t Wait Up, the predecessors. band’s newest and final album. Those DIY ethics — the unapologetic While “Calling Hours” and “Park St.” tenets lost on art-school posers and are undeniably gritty standouts on Don’t post-punk sellouts — prompted the Wait Up, “Final Backward Glance” advent of an exceedingly harsh sect of is the allegorical swan song of the rockers, including hardcore headliners legendary band. Rounding out the album like Converge, Terror and Bane. with thundering guitars and Bedard’s Time-honored veterans of the scene, profoundly introspective lyricism — “I Bane has witnessed an exceptionally won’t carry you in my heart / You are prolific career, counting four studio my heart” — the track unfolds as Bane’s albums and two compilations among a thematic terminus, a stark and sincere smattering of international releases and testament of the band’s empathic extended plays since its Worcesterdedication to the hardcore community. based formation in 1995. A unifying force in a genre often While a handful of faces cycled centered on dissonance and discord, in and out of the rhythm section’s Bane ultimately reaches beyond the trite swinging doors during the band’s staples of hardcore — the combat boots, formative years, original members Aaron the crew cuts, the suburban angst — to Bedard and Aaron Dalbec crafted the leave an important mark on listeners brash and brutal quintet into a tireless worldwide. At its rawest moments cornerstone of hardcore that has in Don’t Wait Up, Bane represents embodied the resolute spirit of the bluea visceral reaction to the proverbial collar everyman for nearly two unfairness of life, a cathartic decades. response to the callous workings Bane’s Final Longevity, however, is a rare of an indifferent universe. It Tour feat. Burn virtue in the world of hardcore, bears a constant message of and Axis which Bedard himself has endurance, an atavism reiterated $20 6pm Sun, April 17 described as a young man’s in its last valediction: “A wasted Paper Tiger game. Now, finding themselves life is worse than death / It’s up 2410 N. St. Mary’s St. suffering the wear and tear of to you to figure out the rest.” papertigersa.com sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 59

60 CURRENT • April 13—April 19, 2016 • sacurrent.com

MUSIC

WED

The Skatalites

Sure, you know the Specials. You loved Tragic Kingdom. You’ve ripped one on a Roor in a Medical Center apartment gazing into a tri-colored Bob Marley poster hanging above where a kitchen table would go (if the owners hadn’t foregone the kitchen table to afford infinite cases of Natural Light). You bought a Reel Big Fish record when, ironically, “Sell Out” was dominating the airwaves with its angular Anglo take on the upbeat rhythms and stuttery strokes of ska. However, you ain’t heard a goddamn thing until you’ve heard The Skatalites. Although there’s only two founding members left skanking, Doreen Shaffer, “The Queen of Jamaican Ska,” and sax man Lester Sterling, The Skatalites were always most impressive for the sum of their parts, not one particular player. In fact, ska is far too narrow a term for the group whose original members could handle themselves in a jazz jam session, soaring like eight little Birds (dig the Charlie ParkerBob Marley reference), tearing up their respective instruments. Come see where the shit that you thought Sublime invented really originated. And don’t be afraid to get rude. With The Skajects and Spies Like Us. $18-$20, 7:30pm, The Korova, 107 E. Martin St., (210) 226-5070, thekorova.com. dtbuffkin@sacurrent.com

Wednesday, April 13

Amon Amarth Named for the moniker of Tolkien's Mount Doom in the Sindarin tongue, Sweden's black metal masters prove that not only Zeppelin find sinspiration in Lord of the Rings fare. With Entombed A.D. and Exmortus. Aztec Theatre, 7pm

Cult Babies, Crown, Shrines Dubbing

themselves "Rosemary's baby meets Muppet Babies," Cult Babies employ a gamma ray organ tone and a too-stonedto-speak sing-slur technique on their excellent robe-rock release Off to See the Lizard. With heavy blues badasses Crown and Shrines. Limelight, 9pm

Radney Foster, Darius Rucker and Kelly Willis Let's disregard Mr. Foster and Ms. Willis – apologies – and just focus on the fact that Hootie and the Blowfish's lead singer is tearing up the country charts. Tobin Center for the Performing Arts, 7:30pm

Thursday, April 14

B. Dolan Spoken word artist, rapper

and modern day philosopher, B. Dolan tackled racism, equality and homophobia way before Macklemore's ham-fisted attempt to conquer social justice issues in a radio-friendly manner. With Chisme, Chris Conde. Limelight, 9pm

Drive-By Truckers My business plan

suggestion for the Georgia group (that certainly doesn't need a business plan): chapbook that Bukowski meets Huck-

Finn-on-meth shit and watch the poetry money (like that exists in 2016) roll in. Aztec Theatre, 7pm

Memories of Rio: Sergio and Odair Assad with Clarice Assad Noted for

APRIL 15 - RUBY DEE & THE SNAKEHANDLERS

Super Saiyan mode, Spider One - AKA Rob Zombie's baby bro - carries the '90s nu metal outfit on his tattooed shoulders. With The Akuzma, Your Coffin Is Waiting, Pigweed and Minister Fiend. Fitzgerald's, 7pm

Apr 15

Feel Good Friday

Apr 16

Hellfest IV featuring Grim Reaper & HelStar

Apr 21

Madison

Apr 22

Darkness Divided

APRIL 22 - GARY P NUNN

APRIL 29 - ROGER CREAGER

Friday, April 15

Acid Dad Rising out of the Brooklyn scene

like dads at the Urban Outfitter's record department, echo-heavy Acid Dad ain't your daddy's – or mommy's – punk rock. Paper Tiger, 6pm

Madison

APRIL 16 – MIKE & THE MOONPIES

their exquisite ensemble work and visionary interpretations of the great composers from Brazil, this virtuosic duo possess a profound ability to re-invent music from Bach to Jobim. Charline McCombs Empire Theatre, 7:30pm

Powerman 5000 Resembling Goku in

Apr 14

APRIL 30 - UNCLE LUCIUS

The Ghost Wolves Following in the

clouded vein of The Cramps and The Gun Club, the co-ed country rock of The Ghost Wolves scratches that sex beat itch, even if the style isn't any new kind of kick. The Mix, 10pm

Green Jelly Bill Manspeaker heads the

legendary comedy rock group that shares the irreverent sense of humor as a grade school Jello Biafra. With Mymisery, The Dispicables, Worm Suicide and The Deceased. Fitzgerald's, 9pm

14492 Old Bandera Rd Helotes, TX (210)695-8827

For tickets: liveatfloores.com

1223 E Houston St. SA, TX 78205 www.therockboxsa.com sacurrent.com • April 13—April 19, 2016 • CURRENT 61

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MUSIC

Jerry Fels & the Jerry Fels Think

absurdist Dada master Hugo Ball fronting indie outfit The Unicorns, performing Casio-and-guitar-circle tunes named "Just Give Me a Handjob," "Dogma is for the Dogs" and "I'm Going to Die Alone." With Milk Preference. Imagine Books & Records, 8pm

Mystic Roots What is the deal with super

hot model types hanging out with dreadlocked white dudes in "pop-reggae fusion" bands? Is it the weed? Do they know rock 'n' roll exists? Jack's Patio Bar, 8pm

Saturday, April 16

Alamo City Soul Club DJ Skeme Richards of the esteemed Philly DJ crew Butta Bros sits in with SA's soul vinyl heads. Hi-Tones, 9pm

Buckboard Boogie Boys Reunion Show This is a San Anto throwback with Texas legends Claude Butch Morgan, Grammy winner Jimmy Rose, Larry Patton and Roger Santos, all of whom are "Lucky to (Still) be Alive." Sam's Burger Joint, 8pm

Delbert McClinton Blue-eyed Texas

blues master, featured member of the Ron-Dels, author of Emmylou's "Two More Bottles of Wine" and all-around bad motherfucker Delbert McClinton is a regional legend. Gruene Hall, 7pm

Ha*ash This Mexican pop duo have serious control and skills, seemingly snatching their two-part harmonies out of the air like Kawhi and any wayward basketball. Aztec Theatre, 7pm

HellFest IV Not to be confused with the

French or New York/New Jersey hardcore festivals of the same name, this one, taking place at the former 210Kapone's venue, will feature metal acts Grim Reaper, HelStar, Las Cruces, Ignitor and Isolaydead. The Rock Box, 6pm

Hidden Ritual From Last Call with Carson Daly all the way to K23, Austin's Hidden Ritual wanna bend your mind to their groovy, open snare folk-funk rock. With Roses and Calico Club Light Show. K23, 9pm

Hotzi, Grim Folks and Spider Mike's Unholy Get Down Combining the

brutal throat-blistering "singing" of the ex-vocalist of the punkest band ever, Full Blown Aids, with super positive, thumbs-up enthusiasm, Hotzi play alongside dark-abilly quartet Grim Folks and Spider Mike, who plays folk tunes through a Dave Mustaine-inspired rig. The Mix, 10pm

Larry June: Sock it to Me Texas Tour

The Bay Area's Larry June is gonna put the heat to you like a TV dinner (bought at Whole Foods). The Korova, 7pm

Noche Azul: Homenaje a Pedro Infante Azul Barrientos will pay tribute to Pedro Infante, one of the greatest cantantes and actors of the Golden Age of Mexican cinema. Esperanza Peace & Justice Center, 8pm

Record Store Day Party Celebrate the

annual day devoted to esteemed wax releases at the city's newest record store. Southtown Vinyl, 1pm

Sunday, April 17

Girls Night Out Witness the power of

another X-chromosome with Heather Go Psycho, Fuzzy Machete and Langton Drive, three female-powered pop punk groups. Hi-Tones, 9pm

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Monday, April 18

Carrie Underwood: The Storyteller Tour The fourth winner of the soon-to-

be-syndicated series American Idol brings her country pop to Spurs Central. AT&T Center, 7pm

San Antonio Local Music Guild Meeting You can't bitch if you don't

book. Come do it like the old days and schedule your band's shows at this booking party for Limelight, The Mix and 502 Bar. Limelight, 8pm

Tuesday, April 19

Tejana Tuesdays For those that want a

crash course in latina artists and sounds beyond the queen, Selena. With DJ Es Ay. La Botánica, 8pm

AT&T Center 1 AT&T Center Parkway, (210) 444-5140, attcenter.com Aztec Theatre 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 8124355, theaztectheatre.com Charline McCombs Empire Theatre 224 E. Houston St., (210) 226-5700, majesticempire. com Esperanza Peace & Justice Center 922 San Pedro Ave., (210) 228-0201, esperanzacenter.org Fitzgerald’s 437 McCarty Road #101, (210) 629-5141, facebook.com/fitzgeraldsbarsa Gruene Hall 1281 Gruene Road, (830) 6061281, gruenehall.com Hi-Tones 621 E. Dewey Pl., (210) 573-6220, hitonessa.com Imagine Books & Records 8373 Culebra Road, (210) 236-7668, imaginebookstore.com Jack’s Patio Bar 3030 Thousand Oaks Drive, (210) 494-2309, jacksbarsa.com K23 703 Fredericksburg Road, (210) 776-5635, facebook.com/k23gallery La Botánica 2911 N. St. Mary’s St., vivalabotanica.com Limelight 2718 N. St. Mary’s St., thelimelightsa.com Paper Tiger 2410 N. St. Mary's St., papertigersa.com Sam’s Burger Joint 330 E. Grayson St., (210) 223-2830, samsburgerjoint.com Southtown Vinyl 1010 S. Flores St. #120, (210) 231-0512, southtownvinyl.com The Korova 107 E. Martin St., (210) 226-5070, thekorova.com The Mix 2403 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 735-1313 The Rock Box 1223 E. Houston St., (210) 279-9430, 210kapones.com Tobin Center for the Performing Arts 100 Auditorium Circle, (210) 223-8624, tobincenter.org

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SAVAGE LOVE by Dan Savage

I’m a 49-year-old gay man. I’ve become friends with a 21-year-old straight guy. He’s really hot. He’s had to drop out of college and return home. I know he needs money, as he hasn’t found a job yet and has resorted to selling off old music equipment. I would love to have some sweaty clothes of his, namely his underwear, but I’d settle for a sweaty tank top. Is it legal to buy someone’s underwear? He’s a sweet guy, and I don’t want to freak him out by asking something so personal. How do I broach the subject? Lustfully Obsessed Stink Seeker It’s perfectly legal to buy and sell used underwear, LOSS, so there’s no legal risk. But you risk losing this guy as a friend if you broach the subject. You can approach it indirectly by saying something like “So sorry to hear you’re selling off your music equipment. You’re young and hot — you could probably make more money selling used underwear or sweaty tanks.” Then follow his lead: If he’s disgusted by the suggestion, drop it. If he’s into the idea, offer to be his first customer. Before I got married, I asked my husband repeatedly about fantasies and kinks, so that we had full disclosure going in. It led to some fun stuff in the bedroom, but we’re both pretty low-grade kinksters. Now I realize that I do something that I have never

told him about: It’s the way that I masturbate. I started when I was 5 or 6, because it felt good. Got chided by parents and teachers for doing it in public and learned to keep it hidden. And so, ever since, it’s been my secret thing. I think it has helped me orgasm in that I knew how early on, but it has also made it more difficult to come in positions that don’t mimic the masturbating position. Husband likes the idea of me coming in different positions, and I’ve managed now and again, but he doesn’t know why I’m set in my ways. We’ve been together for 10 years, but I have never shared this. Should I tell him? Part of me is afraid that he will think I’m weird. But more than likely, he’ll just want to watch me do it. Still, it’s kind of nice having this one thing that belongs only to me. Secret Masturbator Obligated Over Spanking Hotness? You could hold this back, SMOOSH, and keep it all for yourself. But I don’t see why you would want to. As sexy secrets go, “There’s one particular position I like to masturbate in” is pretty boring. Unless you need to be positioned on top of a cadaver or under your dad or beside a life-size Ted Cruz sex doll to get off when you masturbate, there’s really no reason to keep this secret. mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage on Twitter

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FREE WILL ASTROLOGY by Rob Brezsny ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19): “When I discover who I am, I’ll be free,” said novelist Ralph Ellison. Would you consider making that a paramount theme in the coming weeks? Will you keep it in the forefront of your mind, and be vigilant for juicy clues that might show up in the experiences headed your way? In suggesting that you do, I’m not guaranteeing that you will gather numerous extravagant insights about your true identity and thereby achieve a blissful eruption of total liberation. But I suspect that at the very least you will understand previously hidden mysteries about your primal nature. And as they come into focus, you will indeed be led in the direction of cathartic emancipation.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20): “We never know the wine we are becoming while we are being crushed like grapes,” said author Henri Nouwen. I don’t think that’s true in your case, Taurus. Any minute now, you could get a clear intuition about what wine you will ultimately turn into once the grape-crushing stage ends. So my advice is to expect that clear intuition. Once you’re in possession of it, I bet the crushing will begin to feel more like a massage — maybe even a series of strong but tender caresses.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): Your sustaining mantra for the coming weeks comes from Swedish poet Tomas Tranströmer: “I am not empty; I am open.” Say that aloud whenever you’re inclined to feel lonely or lost. “I am not empty; I am open.” Whisper it to yourself as you wonder about the things that used to be important but no longer are. “I am not empty; I am open.” Allow it to loop through your imagination like a catchy song lyric whenever you’re tempted to feel melancholy about vanished certainties or unavailable stabilizers or missing fillers. “I am not empty; I am open.”

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22): According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you are close to tapping into hidden powers, dormant talents, and future knowledge. Truths that have been off-limits are on the verge of catching your attention and revealing themselves. Secrets you have been concealing from yourself are ready to be plucked and transformed. And now I will tell you a trick you can use that will enable you to fully cash in on these pregnant possibilities: Don’t adopt a passive wait-and-see attitude. Don’t expect everything to happen on its own. Instead, be a willful magician who aggressively collects and activates the potential gifts.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22): This would be a perfect moment to give yourself a new nickname like “Sugar Pepper” or “Honey Chili” or “Itchy Sweet.” It’s also a favorable time to explore the joys of running in slow motion 68 CURRENT • April 13—April 19, 2016 • sacurrent.com

or getting a tattoo of a fierce howling bunny or having gentle sex standing up. This phase of your cycle is most likely to unfold with maximum effectiveness if you play along with its complicated, sometimes paradoxical twists and turns. The more willing you are to celebrate life’s riddles as blessings in disguise, the more likely you’ll be to use the riddles to your advantage.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22): Right about now you might be feeling a bit extreme, maybe even zealous or melodramatic. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were tempted to make outlandish expostulations similar to those that the poet Arthur Rimbaud articulated in one of his histrionic poems: “What beast must I worship? What sacred images should I destroy? What hearts shall I break? What lies am I supposed to believe?” I encourage you to articulate salty sentiments like these in the coming days — with the understanding that by venting your intensity you won’t need to actually act it all out in real life. In other words, allow your fantasy life and creative artistry to be boisterous outlets for emotions that shouldn’t necessarily get translated into literal behavior.

28 years old. In 1886, he put out a revised edition that included a preface entitled “An Attempt at Self-Criticism.” In this unprecedented essay, he said that he now found his text “clumsy and embarrassing, its images frenzied and confused, sentimental, uneven in pace, so sure of its convictions that it is above any need for proof.” And yet he also glorified The Birth of Tragedy, praising it for its powerful impact on the world, for its “strange knack of seeking out its fellowrevelers and enticing them on to new secret paths and dancing-places.” In accordance with the astrological omens, Sagittarius, I invite you to engage in an equally brave and celebratory re-evaluation of some of your earlier life and work.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19): “Go back to where you started and learn to love it more.” So advised Thaddeus Golas in his book The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightenment. I think that’s exactly what you should do right now, Capricorn. To undertake such a quest would reap long-lasting benefits. Here’s what I propose: First, identify three dreams that are important for your future. Next, brainstorm

about how you could return to the roots of your relationships with them. Finally, reinvigorate your love for those dreams. Supercharge your excitement about them.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18): “What am I doing here in mid-air?” asks Ted Hughes in his poem “Wodwo.” Right about now you might have an urge to wonder that yourself. The challenging part of your situation is that you’re unanchored, unable to find a firm footing. The fun part is that you have an unusual amount of leeway to improvise and experiment. Here’s a suggestion: Why not focus on the fun part for now? You just may find that doing so will minimize the unsettled feelings. I suspect that as a result you will also be able to accomplish some interesting and unexpected work.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20): How many fireflies would you have to gather together in order to create a light as bright as the sun? Entomologist Cole Gilbert estimates the number to be 14,286,000,000. That’s probably beyond your ability to accomplish, Pisces, so I don’t recommend you attempt it.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22): Adyashanti is my favorite mind-scrambling philosopher. One of his doses of crazy wisdom is just what you need to hear right now. “Whatever you resist you become,” he says. “If you resist anger, you are always angry. If you resist sadness, you are always sad. If you resist suffering, you are always suffering. If you resist confusion, you are always confused. We think that we resist certain states because they are there, but actually they are there because we resist them.” Can you wrap your imagination around Adyashanti’s counsel, Libra? I hope so, because the key to dissipating at least some of the dicey stuff that has been tweaking you lately is to STOP RESISTING IT!

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21): During every election season, media pundits exult in criticizing candidates who have altered their opinions about important issues. This puzzles me. In my understanding, an intelligent human is always learning new information about how the world works, and is therefore constantly evolving his or her beliefs and ideas. I don’t trust people who stubbornly cling to all of their musty dogmas. I bring this to your attention, Scorpio, because the coming weeks will be an especially ripe time for you to change your mind about a few things, some of them rather important. Be alert for the cues and clues that will activate dormant aspects of your wisdom. Be eager to see further and deeper.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21): Friedrich Nietzsche published his first book, The Birth of Tragedy, in 1872, when he was

THIS MODERN WORLD by Tom Tomorrow

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JONESIN’ CROSSWORD by Matt Jones

Answer on page 31

check us out at sacurrent.com “Bridging the Gap”-- getting across is important, too. ACROSS

1 Postgraduate study, perhaps 4 1,550-mile continental range 9 Little demons 13 Hip-hop’s ___ Fiasco 14 “Come Away With Me” singer Jones 15 “Protein,” in some restaurant options 16 Go through 18 Sweat source 19 Big shiny building, once you get past the fence? 21 Fractions of a mi. 22 Bus route divisions 23 “Happy Days” diner 26 “___ a small world” 28 Broadway legend Merman 32 Droid 33 Swimming or floating 37 “Game of Thrones” actress Chaplin 38 Chuck, at a fancy NYC party? 41 Yellen’s forte, for short 42 “Rare and radiant maiden” of “The Raven” 43 First responder, briefly 44 “Big Three” meeting site of 1945 46 Mama’s boy? 47 Part of DOS: Abbr. 48 Hipbone-related

52 Anderson who directed “Rushmore” 54 Last dance theater at the end of the block? 61 “Ricochet” actor/rapper 62 Resentment of the successful, in Irish slang 63 2014’s “The ___ Movie” 64 Short-lived NBC drama named for the outermost section of the Pentagon 65 Full of malicious intent 66 Border 67 OKCupid meetups 68 B.O. purchases

DOWN

1 “___ Jr.” (Pixar’s first film, featuring the lamps now used in their logo) 2 Kitchen item: Abbr. 3 Like a neglected garden 4 Remove, in a way 5 “The Man Who Fell to Earth” director Nicolas 6 “I Love Lucy” costar Desi 7 ___-ovo vegetarian 8 “Two and a Half Men” actor 9 Stand-in 10 “Gimme some cat treats” 11 Remove, as a potato peel

12 Hip add-on? 13 “Sweep the ___” (“Karate Kid” quote) 17 Sign of owing 20 Prop for the course 23 Downton, for one 24 Poet Federico Garcia ___ 25 Bar support 27 Affliction of the eyelid 29 Plot flaws 30 Jet, to a Shark, e.g. 31 Hangs in there 34 Raggedy ___ 35 Lts.’ subordinates 36 Small floor coverings 39 How some sneak in 40 Virgil epic 45 “Blue Rondo ___ Turk” (Brubeck song) 49 Cheeky words after reading a fortune cookie fortune 50 Luxury Hyundai sedan 51 Lawful, informally 53 “Fuller House” actor Bob 54 Word game piece 55 Blasted through 56 Simon of “Hot Fuzz” 57 Aquatic bird 58 Strauss the jeans-maker 59 “Silly Rabbit” cereal 60 “Popeye” surname

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