PREFACE
āI am going to depress the hell out of you!ā That was what IĀ used to declare on the first day of my policy classes. In my view, policy is the response to ongoing problems such as poverty, racism, and climate change. Without studying the problems first, one cannot work for social change. However, the point of this book is not to depress the hell out of you. Instead of spending money on such a grim book, you would be better off buying a decent bottle of wine or some gourmet chocolate. Yes, womenās rights have suffered severe setbacks in the recent past. The resurgence of feminism, though, has energized a wide range of people all over the world. If you are concerned about the status of women, you are certainly not alone.
Do you identify yourself as a feminist? IĀ donāt care as long as you buy or at least read this book. Friends advised me to avoid the use of āfeministā in the title because it might scare off some folks. The crisis facing women today is too urgent to squabble over the āFā word. If you want to fight misogyny
without calling yourself a feminist, go for it. Maybe call yourself an anti-misogynist instead, IĀ donāt care. We still need you.
Honestly, the fact that IĀ have written two books about womenās issues has resulted in my new identity as a Scary Feminist. When IĀ tell somebody about my books, IĀ get that double-takeābut you donāt look like a Scary Feminist. IĀ do not snarl, nor do IĀ show any fangs. Hell, IĀ even wear a bra. In fact, IĀ actually smile and joke around a lot. Sometimes their surprised reaction is as extreme as if IĀ had just grown another head. But youāre a nice person, that look says.
Once at a holiday gathering, a friend introduced me to the group. āThis is Gail. Sheās writing a book about womenās issues but sheās not a feminist.ā
I had to correct her. āUm, actually IĀ am a feminist.ā
āWell, you know what IĀ mean! You donāt hate men or anything like that.ā
One part of me wanted to mention the pair of scissors IĀ carried around to castrate men, but IĀ behaved myself. Instead, IĀ meekly agreed that IĀ did not hate men or anything like that.
As a Scary Feminist, IĀ should have a solid understanding of deconstructivist post-humanism or whatever. My primary identity, though, is not āfeministā but āwriter/activistā with a keen awareness of social injustice. The oppression of women is only one aspect of these injustices. Interrelationships have always intrigued me, such as HIV prevention as related to gender dynamicsāwill or wonāt he put on a condom?
My intellectual background is diverse. My senior honor thesis was on T.Ā S. Eliotās āThe Wastelandā (āApril is the cruelest monthā). In my 20s, IĀ had pursued a doctorate in history. During those four years of graduate school, IĀ coauthored a book about public works in Colorado (yes,
IĀ wrote the chapter on sewers!) and wrote my thesis about the Vietnam War. Then IĀ spent 10Ā years in the business world working for finance and insurance companies. To rescue my brain from ācubicle psychosis,ā IĀ wrote novels that never got published.
When IĀ had entered the social work field in my late 30s, IĀ had no idea of what my specialty would be. IĀ ended up writing my dissertation on HIV/AIDS after a field placement in that area. It just happened. Like my interest in HIV/ AIDS, the womenās issues textbook emerged because of life circumstances. When IĀ first started teaching at a small university, IĀ was lucky enough to develop my own course in womenās issues that covered US and global concerns. Unable to find a textbook to match my course, IĀ wrote my own. Teaching and writing about feminism, of course, have strengthened my belief that gender equality is critical in todayās world. Still, IĀ probably never would have written that book if IĀ had been teaching at a larger school with its own womenās studies faculty.
During my social work career, IĀ have also worked with several populations:Ā homeless persons, TANF/welfare recipients, and HIV-positive persons. After a stint in gerontology, now IĀ am a drug counselor at a medicationassisted treatment clinic. Obviously, these experiences have deepened my commitment to fighting injustices such as misogyny.
What is misogyny anyway? IĀ simply define it as the hatred of women. (Donāt worry, ChapterĀ 1 has a more indepth discussion of this concept.) Unfortunately, the word sounds too much like āmassageā as in āmassage therapy.ā When IĀ would tell people that IĀ was writing a book against misogyny, IĀ would sometimes get the stink eye. To all the
massage therapists and clients out thereāitās cool, IĀ have nothing against you.
You may wonder why you should even be buying this book when that bottle of wine looks quite tempting. When IĀ was writing this book in 2017, IĀ could not decide between the songs āI Wanna Be Sedatedā or āComfortably Numb.ā As one Facebook post stated, āThese days if a clown invited me into the woods, IĀ would just go.ā When it comes to political depression, IĀ get it. Whimpering under a pillow can be one way to cope with the recent political chaos.
Timeās up! (Okay, IĀ misquoted Oprah here.) Get out of bed or off the couch and exercise your rights! We have work to do! You are going to be one kick-ass (or genteel) advocate for women now!
But where do we even begin? That question is why IĀ wrote this book. Thoughtful activism, not random actions, will help us to fight misogyny.
Read. Discuss. Plan your actions. And remember:Ā leave the massage therapists aloneāunless they are misogynistic, of course.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Writing this book has been both a joyful and aggravating experience. Many thanks to my friends and family who boosted my endeavors this past year. At Oxford University Press, the editors Dana Bliss and Andrew Dominello have been wonderful. Dana Bliss was the one who had suggested this book idea, so IĀ hope that he is satisfied with the result.
Since its inception, the book project has involved several in-depth conversations with individuals and groups. These community members helped me to develop my concepts and provided me with striking insights. Without the folks listed here, the book would have been sparser and less relevant. Thank you!
ā¢ Members of COUNT (Central Ohio United NonTheists) group who had a discussion on masculinity:Ā five men and three women
ā¢ Shirley Curtis, social worker in rural Ohio
ā¢ Students from my social work classes at Sinclair Community College and Wright State University
ā¢ Cara Iacovetta, artist
ā¢ Larry Meyers, retired mental health professional
ā¢ Anjel Stough-Hunter (sociology professor) and her friends
ā¢ Kari Higgins, social worker
ā¢ Laura Gaines, social worker
ā¢ Julie Hart, sociology professor and peace activist
ā¢ Phil Hart, carpenter
ā¢ Michel Coconis, social worker and hell-raiser
ā¢ Miriam Potocky, social work professor
ā¢ Deona Hooper, activist
ā¢ Vickie Deisner, animal rights activist
ā¢ Ellen Muncy, hair stylist
ā¢ Dan OāKane, corporate recruiter
ā¢ Joseph Ukockis, graduate student
ā¢ Paul Morgal, student
ā¢ Michele Blackford, social worker
ā¢ Julia DāAgostino, social worker
ā¢ Dorothy Martindale and Colleen Dempsey, National Association of Social Workers
ā¢ Robin Mama, social work professor
ā¢ Susan Wismer, Sexual Assault Response Network of Central Ohio
ā¢ Laura Hancock, journalist
ā¢ Ed Norwood, IT
ā¢ Writing group at Delaware Library
MISOGYNY
INTRODUCTION
Iām a FeministāNow What?
THE RESURGENCE OFĀ MISOGYNY
During an August weekend in 2017, White supremacists marched through the streets of Charlottesville, Virginia. Called āUnite the Right,ā these neo-Nazis chanted slogans such as āblood and soilā and āJews will not replace us!ā One of the White supremacists deliberately rammed his car into a crowd of counterprotesters, an act of mindless violence that killed Heather Heyer. Instead of acknowledging her death as a tragedy, though, the editor of the Daily Stormer āexcoriated her appearance and called her a ādrain on society.ā [He] also noted Heyerās marital and parental status, calling her a āfat, childless, 32-year-old slut,ā claiming that her failure to marry and have children meant that she had āno valueā ā1 . Meanwhile, popular entertainment, such as Game of Thrones, includes so many rape scenes that female stunt performers have a new specialty:Ā rape choreography. Because āfilmmakers still rely on (often unnecessary) rape scenes as a catalyst for movie and TV plots,ā rape choreography has become a booming business. āRape choreographer isnāt exactly
a desirable position (it takes an emotional toll to reenact sexual assault all day)āāespecially if the director insists on 10 to 12 takes instead of a few2.
āMisogynyā (hatred of women) is a word that belongs in the dustbin of history but still appears in our current society. For decades, the word āsexismā seemed sufficient to describe the demeaning treatment of females. One typical definition of sexism is āprejudice or discrimination based on sex or gender, especially against women and girlsā3. Sexism can be subtle, such as a man talking over a woman during a business meeting.
In contrast, the word āmisogynyā is a much stronger word than āsexismā because it is simply defined as hatred of women. Although the overlap between sexism and misogyny is obvious, misogyny implies an overt and violent aspect. Intimate partner violence (also called domestic violence), sexual assault, street harassment, and judging a female merely on her appearance are but some examples of misogyny. In the historical context, many religions and philosophers have justified this oppression of women.
Hillary Clinton, who has been the target of extreme misogyny, defines the difference between sexism and misogyny this way:
A note here on terminology. Others might have a different view, but hereās how IĀ see the distinction between sexism and misogyny. When a husband tells his wife, āI canāt quite explain why and IĀ donāt even like admitting this, but IĀ donāt want you to make more money than me, so please donāt take that amazing job offer,ā thatās sexism. He could still love her deeply and be a great partner in countless ways. But he holds tight to an idea that even he knows isnāt fair about how successful a woman is allowed to be.
Sexism is all the big and little ways that society draws a box around women and says, āYou stay in there.āĀ .Ā .Ā .Ā We can all buy into sexism from time to time, often without even noticing it. Most of us try to keep an eye out for those moments and avoid them or, when we do misstep, apologize and do better next time.
(But) misogyny is something darker. Itās rage. Disgust. Hatred. Itās what happens when a woman turns down a guy at a bar and he switches from charming to scary. Or when a woman gets a job that a man wanted and instead of shaking her hand and wishing her well, he calls her a bitch and vows to do everything he can to make sure she fails. 4
Later she said that both sexism and misogyny āare endemic in America. If you need convincing, just look at the YouTube comments or Twitter replies when a woman dares to voice a political opinion or even just share an anecdote from her own lived experience. People hiding in the shadows step forward just far enough to rip her apartā5.
The resurgence of misogyny, sometimes called the ānew misogyny,ā is part of a shifting mood in the United States that troubles many. The backlash against āpolitical correctnessā is one sign of this trend. Starting in the 1970s, mainstream culture tried to reduce the sexism and racism in their television shows and other venues. People like me began to realize that some behaviors and words were offensive, such as showing off Confederate flags at a high school that has several African American students. Some people, though, wanted to return to the āgood old daysā when racial epithets and crude sexism were the norm. In the late 1980s, the comedian Andrew Dice Clay gained notoriety for jokes such as these:Ā āIf my girlfriend brings home a nice looking friend of hers, IĀ f*** her on principal. You know what IĀ mean? Donāt throw another
bush in front of my face. What do you think Iām gonna do? Talk to it? Iām gonna bang itā6. The factor that made Clay so famous 20Ā years ago, his overt rejection of gender equality, has now become so commonplace that he would no longer stand out (Box 1.1).
Besides ridiculing political correctness, these misogynists are also using the Internet as a new weapon. Rape threats against female bloggers, revenge porn (i.e., ex-boyfriends posting nude pictures of women without their consent), menās sites that promote male superiority (e.g., Red Pill), and abuse of social media (e.g., Facebook posts) are creating a frightening place in the virtual world. āOn the one hand, these online images and words are bringing awareness to a longstanding problem. On the other hand, the amplification of these ideas over social media networks is validating and spreading pathologyā7.
Another form of the new misogyny has been the sharp increase in the number of attacks on womenās reproductive health. On the legislative level, state lawmakers have enacted hundreds of bills that restrict abortion rights 8. The courts have also limited access to birth control, including the Supreme Courtās decision to allow employers such as Hobby Lobby to prohibit insurance coverage of IUDs (intrauterine devices, a form of birth control) based on religious grounds9. Antiabortion activists have used guns, bombs, arson, and harassment to deny women their basic health care10 .
Despite this new misogyny, though, we can remain optimistic because so many persons are speaking out and refusing to back down. One example is the comedian Amy Schumer, who is the topic of the first case study.
LIFE BEFORE WOMENāS LIBERATION:Ā āHE MADE ME FEEL SOĀ SMALLā
Recently, a woman in her 70s approached me about this book. She said, āWell, Iāve been harassed but it was such a little deal. Not like what those poor women have had to deal with.ā
Based on her age, IĀ guessed that she had seen much more overt sexism than me. She had been ājust a secretaryā because that was the only position allowed women at that company in the late 1960s. We agreed that in those days, many āsecretariesā actually ran companies but never got the credit or the money. The incident she told me was not that shocking:Ā a married man had asked her out to dinner.
āThere IĀ was, a small-town girl from Ohio in the big city of NewĀ York, and a married man asked me out! IĀ was so floored!ā
Shocked, she was up all night trying to figure out what to say to him. When she went to him the next day, she said that she would not go out with him because he was a married man. In those days, that took some courage.
āThen he said, āIt was only dinner. We both have to eat, right?ā He made it sound like IĀ was crazy for thinking anything else. He tried to turn it around on me, like IĀ was an idiot. And he made me feel so small.ā
