Economics and Financial Management for Nurses and Nurse
Leaders, Third Edition 3rd Edition, (Ebook PDF)
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ChapterTwenty-Seven
ChapterTwenty-Eight
ChapterTwenty-Nine
ChapterThirty
ChapterThirty-One
ChapterThirty-Two
ChapterThirty-Three
ChapterThirty-Four
ChapterThirty-Five
ChapterThirty-Six
CHAPTERONE DEAR READER, LETâS go back a month from the end of book five to start our story:
FromthemomentIsteppedontothebar,Icouldfeelhiseyesburningintome,agazesointenseitfeltlikeitwasunraveling theveryfabricofmysoul AsâColdSweatâbyThinLizzythunderedthroughthespeakers,Ilostmyselfintherhythm,each movementawild,untamedresponsetothemusicâsrawpower.Everysultryglanceovermyshoulderwasasilent communicationmeantforhimalone:Hillbilly.
Hillbillystoodintheshadows,afireIplayedwith,andIwasdangerouslyclosetogettingscorched Iwasfullyawareof thedanger,yetstilldrawntoitlikeamothbewitchedbytheflame.Dangerous,undeniablyso,butirresistiblytempting.
Asthesongclimaxed,Iendedmydancewithaprovocativeflickofmyhair;theroomsnappingbackintosharpfocus Valley,alwaysthecharmer,steadiedmewithanappreciativegrin.âDaphne,thatwashot!Howaboutgivingmeachance?â
Ishothimateasinglook,myeyesflickingtowardsHillbilly,whowasnowstridingtowardhisofficewithapurpose âValley,honey,youâreacatch,butIplayinthemajorleagues.â
Hislaughterrangout,infectiousandfilledwithlightheartedamusement.âTrustme,Daphne,Ihititoutoftheparkevery damntimeâ
Ishookmyhead,humorlacingmysmile,asIscoopedupmytrayandbeganweavingthroughthetables.
InavigatedthroughthepulsatingcrowdofTheDevilâsDen,thebaralivewithstoriesandsecrets Theplacewasmore thanabar ithadbecomepartofmyfamily.Greatco-workers,excellenttips,andthentherewasHillbilly,themanwhoturned myworldupsidedown.Heleftmyheadspinningwiththegamesheplayed.
But I was hooked.
Later,asHillbillyreappeared,myheartskippedabeat.Hisblondhairwastiedupinamanbun,astylethatonlyhecould makelookeffortlesslycool Hispiercingblueeyesalwaysseemedtofindmine,ignitingatumultuousstormofemotioninside me.
Valleysnappedhisfingersinfrontofmyface,jerkingmeoutofmyreverie âYoulostinthere?Youâvegotatrayofdrinks waiting.â
BeforeIcouldformawittyretort,mygazeinadvertentlycaughtsightofafamiliarfacesidlingupnexttoHillbillyatthe bar. Julie Theblonde,tallbeautywhoseemedtobeincreasinglygluedtohissidemoreoftenthannotlately.Apangof jealousysurgedthroughme,especiallywhenIsawhersmileathiminawaythatmadeitpainfullyobviousthattheyshareda connectionbeyondfriendship
ThatâsthethingwithHillbilly,themixedsignalsheconstantlysentmyway.Thoseheated,lingeringglances,theundeniable sexualtensionthatcrackledbetweenus,everysimpletouchchargedwithelectricintensity Yet,heflittedeffortlesslyfromone womantoanother,leavingmefeelinglikejustanotherfaceinhisever-growingcrowdofwomen.Hecontinuallyaskedmeout, hisfrustrationpalpableeachtimeIturnedhimdown.Thefactwas,Hillbillyâsâdateâwasnothingmorethananightinhisbed.
ButImadeavowtomyselfthreeyearsago,attwenty,thatIwouldneverletanothermantreatmelikeadisposabletoy,to bethrownawayliketrash.
Never again
Casimir,mybestfriendandbrotherfromanothermother,hadoncetoldme,âKnowyourworth,Daphne.Donâtletanyone
dimtheshinethatmakesyouamazing.âClingingtothatthought,IlockedeyeswithHillbillyforafleeting,chargedmoment.A challengeseemedtosimmerinhisgaze,anunspokenbattleofwills.
Turningonmyheel,dismissinghimwithanewfoundresolve,Idovebackintothebuzzing,livelyatmosphereofThe DevilâsDen.Irefusedtolethim,oranyone,tarnishmyshine.
Ifhewantedthoseotherwomen,sobeit Iâllneverfightfortheattentionofaman,notwhenmyworthdemandsmore No matterhowmuchIwantedhim,Ideservedbetter,andsodidmyson.Iwasmorethanjustafleetingfling,morethana challenge;IwasDaphne,andIrefusedtosettleforanythinglessthanforever
THEMOMENTDAPHNEstartedtomove,swaying tothatbeatingrhythmontopofthebar,theworldjustshutoff.Itwas likeshedancedthroughthenoisejustforme,everyswivelandswingofthatcurvybodydrivingmewild.Andeverydamn time,itleftmycockhard Aretreattotheofficewasmyonlyoption Dealingwiththearousal,shestirreddeepinmyblood
ButitwasnâtlongbeforeIwasbackoutthere,leaningagainstthecoolwoodofthebar,mygazeinevitablysearchingfor her Daphne withthosewildcurlsIitchedtorunmyfingersthrough,herlaughterthatsoundedabovetherockmusic,lighting upthedarkestcornersofTheDevilâsDen.Shewaslikealivewire,sparkinglifewherevershestood.
Damn unique
AllIwantedwasonenighttodousethisfire,toresetwhateverswitchsheflippedinsideme Butnodice Shejustthrew methatsmirkthatsaid,âNicetry,butIâmnotoneofyourgroupies.âItdrovemeupthewall.
âHillbilly,sweetie,youhearme?âJulieâsvoiceslicedthroughmythoughts,anannoyingreminderofreality Shit.Julie.Sheâslikearecordthatwonâtstopskipping.Iturnedtoher,forcingmyattentionawayfromDaphne.âSorry, Julie Whatwasthatagain?â
ShewentonaboutthepaperworkfortheoldfamilyfarmIrentedout.IhadJulie,arealestateagent,handleitbecause, hell,steppingfootinthatplacewaslikedivingheadfirstintoathornbush.âIâllcheckitouttonight,âImuttered,myeyes betrayingme,dartingbacktoDaphneasshethrewherheadback,laughingwithsomeguy,makingmyfistsitch
Julieâshand,coldandintrusive,randownmyneck.âYouâvebeenofflately.Youthinkingovermyoffer?âHervoice dippedintothatsultrytoneIusedtogiveadamnabout beforeDaphne
Ifixedherwithalookthatcouldfreezebourbon.âWehadadeal onenight.Iâmnotthedatingkind.Youknewthat,âI remindedher
Onabusinesslevel,IvaluedJulie.Sheknewherwayaroundrealestate.Shewassmartandgoodatherjob.Ihatedto loseher,butshewaspushingme,showingupherenightafternight.ShedidnâtseemtohearmewhenItoldherIwasnât interestedinanyrelationshipotherthanbusiness Itwaspartlymyfaultforlettinghertalkmeintobedwithpromisesofitonly beingagoodtime.
Herlipspressedtogether,disappointmentwrittenalloverher,butsheknewbetterthantopush âWewerejustsogood together,âshesaid,sighing,wantingtosaymorebutstoppingherself,insteadshedroppedaquickkissonmycheekandleft, thankfully.
Goodtogether?Ididnâtwanttohurtherfeelingsbycorrectingher.Forme,itwasjustanotherfuck.Itwasnâtanything specialthatIcouldnâtgetfromanyotherwomanfloatingaroundhere.Thetemptationtowarmherbedagainwasnonexistent.
Backtotheonlypastimethatmattered watchingDaphne.Ileanedback,everymuscletensed,everysensehomedinon her.Yeah,womenlinedupforanightwithme,nostringsattached.ButDaphne?Sheâsnotliningup.Sheâsdancingcircles aroundme,anditâsdrivingmeinsane Iwanther,morethananywomanIâveevermet,buthowtocatchher?
thoughtalonehadmybodytinglingwithneed.
Butthatdesireclashedwiththeyearningforsomethingdeeper,somethingtrue.
Therighttouch,therightlove,couldnâtberushed untilthen,Iâdbemyrock,justasIâdlearnedtobeTobyâs,justas Casimirwasforusboth.Butcrap,itwasnâtgoingtobeeasysincethemanwassexyasallhell.
Idroppedontothebed,pullingtheblanketsoverme,therestlessnessinmybodystillachinglypresentasIstaredupatthe ceiling.âGotosleep,Daph,puthimoutofyourthoughts,âImutteredtomyself,punchingmypillowandturningonmyside.But nomatterhowhardItried,itwasHillbillyâsfaceIsawwhenmyeyesfinallyclosed
CHAPTERTHREE THENEONSIGNofTwistedHeatbuzzedand crackledinthenight,abeaconforthelostandlonely.Ishovedthedoor open,thecreakofitshingeslostinthesoundofgrittyguitarriffsthatswirledaroundmelikesmoke.Thiswasatempleofskin andvice,andonce,Iwasadevoteddisciple.Buttonight,myeyeswerenâtsearchingforaquickthrill;theywerehuntingfor oneman:Jonesy
Theplacethrummedwiththepulseofheavybass,thekindthatyoufeelinyourchestbeforeyouhearitwithyourears. Jonesywasintheback,inourbooth theonewiththeviewofeverythingbutstainedwithshadows Hiseyeswerefixedon thepaperworkinfrontofhim,hispenmovingoverthepaper.Hewasafortressofaman,ablockofice,untouchedbyallthe bareskinsurroundinghim.AndthereIstood,feelinglikeaghostofmyformerself,mysexualvicessnuffedout,allbutforone Daphne.
IslidintotheseatacrossfromJonesy,theleathersqueakinginprotest.Hisgazeflickedup,aflickerofsurpriseinhis steel-blueeyes
BeforeJonesycouldribmeformysuddenappearance,Tanyaslinkedover,alllegsandsmokeyeyes,herhipsswaying dangerously Shebentdownlow,herassetsspillingoutofthebikinitop Atemptingdisplaywastedonme âWhatcanIgetyou todrink,baby?âshepurred,apracticedhungerinhereyes.
âAbeer.Thanks,Tanya,âIreplied,myvoiceflat,mysmileabarecurlofmylips.
Shehuffedsoftly,clearlymiffedatthelackofattention,andsaunteredoff Jonesyâsgazecutbacktome,sharpandprobing âBeenawhilesinceyoustoppedby.Figuredyouturnedmonkorlosttheuseofyourdick,âhequipped.Buthiseyes...they knew Knewwhymyseatatthisboothhadbeencold,whythegirlsâwhisperswerenâtaboutmeanymore
âIstoppedbytotalktoyou,asshole,âIshotback,ahalf-heartedattemptatlevity.âDonâtseemuchofyouthesedays,with theclubandthebusinesseatingeveryminuteâ
âShestillwonâtgooutwithyou?âheprodded,hisvoicealowgrowlofbrotherlyinsight.
Icouldonlynod,myfrustrationaheavyweight.âHell,no,shewonât.ActslikeshedoesnâtevencarewhoIâmwith.âAt Jonesyâssnortandraisedeyebrow,IdefendedmytacticwithabravadoIdidnâtfeel âWomenthriveoncompetition,donât they?â
Jonesyshookhishead,hislipstwitchinginamixofamusementandpity âYouâvebeenplayingitallwrong,Hillbilly Daphneisnâtlikeyourregularcrowdofbitches.Sheseesyoujugglingwomen;youârejustanotherclowninthecircustoher.â
Thebeerarrived,breakingintothemoment Tanyaâseyeswereonme,tryingtofigureoutthereasonbehindmystony façadewhenIâmusuallytalkativeandflirty.Itookalongswigofmybeer,wonderingthesamedamnthing.
âMaybeanotherwomanwillscratchthatitch,âImumbled,moretomyselfthantoJonesy.
âWakeup,âhesaid,hisvoiceharshwithconcernandhisowndemons âSomewomen,theygetinyourblood,andno amountoffuckingotherwomenwillbleedthemoutofyou.â
âTherehasneverbeenawomanIhavenâtbeenabletoforgetâ
Jonesyjustraisedaneyebrowandgesturedatthespectaclearoundus.âProveit.â
Myeyesrovedoverthecrowd.Thewomenweresplashesofcolorandmotion,butnoneofthemheldtheuniquebeauty thatDaphnedid.HadthenaturalcurvesIachedtotouch,andthosesexycurlsIwantedtofistwhileIfuckedher.Noquickened
ILINGEREDOUTSIDE,eyesfixedonthebluecar vanishingintothecurve,thesoundofitsenginefadingawayleavingme tomyrestlessthoughts.ScotchâswordsaboutAvajoiningAislynnandDaphneforamallrunhadmeitchingtocatchaglimpse ofher Yeah,lurkingoutsidewasskirtingtheedgesofobsession,butfuck,Icouldnâtshakeitoff Itwaslikeafever ScotchwouldblowagasketwhenhefoundoutIâdofferedAvaajob.Buthell,howcouldIturnmybackonher?Lifehad kickedherdownhard,andsheneededahandup Avawassmart,gutsy shewasperfectforTheDevilâsDen Thethoughtof Scotchplayingguardianangeleverynight,itchingtoflattenanyonewhosomuchasglancedwrongatAva,ateatme.ButIwas gettingdamngoodatdousingfiresaroundthebar,thankstoPatchandLeather
Crackingopenabeer,Islumpedintoachair,half-watchingtheguysshootpool.Iâdbidemytimeuntiltheygotback,setting upanotherâaccidentalârun-inwithDaphne.Leatherslidintotheseatnexttome,breakingmyreverie.âPonderingthemysteries oftheuniverse?âhequipped
IfbyâuniverseâhemeantDaphne,thenhellyeah.ButIplayeditcool.âWhatâsup?â
âKillingtimeâtilAislynngetsback,âhedrawled,theboredominhisvoiceasthickassmoke Ihesitated,thendovein.âYouevermissthebachelorlifehereintheclubhouse?â
Heshookhishead,convictionsteelinghisvoice.âNah.Sure,theclubhouseisinmyblood,buthavingawomanwhoâs yourrock,wholovesyou,theshotatarealfamily?Thatbeatsanyeasyfuckandfleetingthrill.â
Myvoicebarelyawhisper,weighteddownbydoubts.âYouthinkshemightgetfedupwiththislife...withyou?â
Leatherâsgazepiercedthroughme,readingmyconflictedthoughts âIpraythefucknot ButIdonâtwastetimefretting aboutit.Itâlldriveyoucrazy.Instead,everydamnday,ImakesureAislynnknowssheâsgotnoreasontoleave.âHiswords lingeredasIexhaledaheavysigh
BeforeIcouldrespond,PatchstrolledinwithKatherine,herbellyatestamenttotheirgrowingfuture.Watchingthem,a thoughtstruckme ifPatch,theeternallonewolf,couldfindhisoneandonly,maybethereâshopeforanyofus.Yet,myreal fearwasnâtaboutstayingtrue.Itwastheterroroflovingtoofiercely,onlytobeleftflounderinginitsdepth,drivenmadbythe weightofit.
Leatherâsphonepinged,andhesaid,âGood,AislynnisonherwaybackâHestood,headingforthedoorandIfollowed, becauseevenwiththeseheavythoughtsanddoubts,IcouldnâtstayawayfromDaphne.
CHAPTERSIX âICANâTBELIEVEIletyoutalkmeintothis!âIgripedatAislynn.ItwasrarewebothhadFridaynightoffandwhenshe foundoutCasimirhadtakenTobywithhimtovisithismother,shetalkedmeintocomingtotheclubhouseforaparty.Buttobe fair,Iâvealwayswantedtocomeandseewhatitwaslikebutchickenedouteverytime TheothergirlsIworkedwithsaidit couldgetwild.
âArenâtyoualwaystheonetellingmeyouneedtoliveandnotsitaroundwaitingforlifetofindyou?âAislynnquipped, throwingmywordsbackatme.
âPointtaken,âIchuckled âWhereistall,dark,andsuffocating?IfindithardtobelieveheâslettingyougoaloneâHer âbetterhalfâhadatendencytohoverlikeahawk.
âNotachance,âshegrinned.âHehadsomeclubbusinessandismeetingmethere.â
Iassessedmyreflectioninthemirror,mydressclinginglikeascandaltoeverycurve Asuddenflareofvanitywhispered thatmaybe,justmaybe,Iwashopingtosnagacertainbikerâsgaze.Hillbillyhadawayofrevvingmyheartandbodytohigh levels
âDoyouthinkthisdressisabit...much?âIventured,suddenlyself-conscious.Iwasnâtlikethosestickthinwomenthat hungoffHillbilly.Mybodyhadmajorcurves.
Aislynnsnorted,âHardly.Somewomenthatcometotheirpartiesmightaswellnotwearanything.âShelookedmeover. âButyouâlloutshineallofthem.â
Irolledmyeyes,playingalong âFlatterywillgetyoueverywhere Shallwe?âIsaid,takingonelastlookinthemirror,my heartariotofnervesandexcitement.âLetâsgetmovingbeforeBradenloseshismindwonderingwhereyouâreat.â
Sheheldupherphoneandsmiled âToolateâ
IfIdidnâtknowhowmuchthatmanlovedher,Iwouldbeworried.âLetâsroll,chick,âIchuckled,grabbingmykeysand purseoffthesidetable.
Bythetimewerolledupintotheclubhouse,mystomachwasatangleofknots.Theplacewasahiveofpartiers,with bodiesmovinginrhythmtothethrumofrockmusic.ThedoortotheâotherâroomAislynntoldmeaboutopenedandclosed,but Iwasnâtreadyforatumbledownthatrabbithole
Avawasslingingdrinkslikeapriestessofspiritsbehindthebar,underScotchâswatchfulandutterlysmittengaze.We foundBradenandtheenigmaticJonesyatatable Jonesygavemewhatlookedtobeasurprisedlookbeforehiseyes disappearedintohisphone.
LeatherpulledAislynnontohislap,immediatelydominatingherattention,likehehadnâtseenheronlyhoursago.Myeyes scannedtheroom,seeingseveralfamiliarfaces,butnottheoneIdreamedabout âIâmgoingtograbadrink,âIsaid,getting readytomingle.
âWhatâllyouhave?Icangrabit,âJonesysaid,stoppingme
Islowlysatbackdown,surprisedsinceJonesyhadneverspokentomebefore.Hewasaprettystandoffishman.Itoldhim whatIwantedandwatchedashewenttograbthedrinksfromthebar
Thefirstvodkalimesodawasforcourage,thesecondforwarmth,andthethird,well,thatwasjustforthehellofit,add thefourthtothatthought.Mytonguehadjusttastednumberfive.
And then he entered
CHAPTERSEVEN BENEATHTHEQUILTofearlymorningshadows, Ilaythere,drapedoverhisbarechest acanvasofskinstillwarm fromthesexualfrenzyofournight.Hisbreathsweresteadyanddeep,therhythmicriseandfallbeneathmycheekcomforting me,holdingmeinthemoment Myfingers,withamindoftheirown,playedwithhisbeard,whileIrememberedthewild abandonweâdsurrenderedtojusthoursbefore.Hewasasculptureofserenestrengthinsleep,andournight God,itwas good sodamngood
Aknotofemotionstangledinsideme.Shameâsdelicatefingersmightlatertouchme,butfornow,itwasbanishedbythe floodofsatisfactioncoursingthroughmyveins.Words,potentandtender,thathehadsaidinthedarkashelingeredovermy body Theyswirledaroundme,wrappingmythoughtsinashroudofwonder HeeventoldmehisrealnameâChaseWagnerâ, andwantedmetousehisfirstnamefromnowon.
Mygazewanderedwithatouchofaweoverthecontoursofhishardbody,alivingtapestryetchedwithCelticloreand enigmaticknots.EverywhisperedfantasyIhadharboredabouthimwasnotonlymetbutexceeded;hewastheembodimentof mywildestdreams.
Therewasanarttothewayhetouched,anexpertisethathadleftmebreathless,givingmesomuchpleasureattimesI thoughtIwouldfaint.Hedamnsureknewwhathewasdoing.Therewasnâtapartofmybodythathishandsandmouthdidnât touch
Theclockblinked itwasnine,andIneededtogetmoving.Myshiftthisafternooncouldnâtbeforgotten,nomatterhow muchItried Ieasedoutofhisembrace,carefulnottowakehim,donningthewrinkledremainsofmyreddress nowa uniformofoursharednight.Retrievingmyshoesandpurse,aflushofheatwashedovermeasIrememberedthedooropening, mypurseflyingintotheroom,slungbyanunknownperson.
Hisvoice,huskywithsleep,snaggedthesilence.âCurlyTop?âItwasatether,pullingatmetostay.
Mylipsbrushedhisinasoftpromise.âIâllseeyoutonight.âAndwiththat,heslippedbackintosleep,leavingmetoslip outoftheroom
Iescapedthemorning,notencounteringasoulintheclubhouse,clutchingthefragileprideofhavingleftamanexhausted aprivatetriumph
Athome,Ihittheshowerandsnuggledonthesofatogetafewhoursofsleepbeforework.Buttimetoheadincametoo soon,mybodytiredanddeliciouslysore.Yet,inthequietofthehouse,athreadofdisquietstartedtounravel.Myphonelay dormant anominoussilencewherehiswordsshouldhavebeen Itriedtostaveoffthedoubt,torememberhisbreathless confessionsinthedark:
âIthinkIloveyouââIcanâtgetyououtofmymindââThereâsnooneelselikeyouââIwillnevergetenoughofyouâ Atwork,thosewordsbecamemyanchorasIwatchedthedoorwiththetenacityofabulldoglookingatasteak,buthe nevercame Theghostingwasaloudscreaminsidemyhead
Andwhenthenightbledaway,andIwasonmywayhome,thereitwas hisbike,thevibrantredsteelmockingme outsideTwistedHeat,anemblemofbetrayal.Myheart,thatfoolishgirl,tookadiveasIparked,thepitinmystomacharockat thethoughtofthetruthIwasabouttoface
Inside,Iwasashadowamongtheshadows,andtherehewas Hillbilly,frontandcenter flankedbytwostrippersas theyrubbedtheirtoplessbodiesalloverhim TheirhandsandmouthstouchingwhatIhadonlyhoursearlier Theground beneathmemightaswellhavecrumbled;nauseasurgedlikeawave,andIfledtowardtheexit,runningintoJonesy.Ipushed pasthimandintothenight
MylegsmanagedtocarrymetothebusheswhereIpuked,myhearttryingtopurgehim,tearscarvedriversofmascara
downmycheeks.There,inthequietaftermath,therealizationssettledinlikeash used,discarded,thehauntingconfirmation ofmydeepestfears.Therewasnoonetoblamebutmyself,yetknowingthisdidnothingtodulltheserratededgeofpain. Istumbledtomycar,awraithhollowedbyhurt,navigatingtheroutehomeonautopilot ajourneybacktoanemptiness thatawaitedwithopenarms.
THEHAMMERINGPAINinmyskulldraggedmefromthedepthsofunconsciousness.Myeyes,heavyandreluctant,slit opentothedimlylitconfinesofJonesyâsoffice mymakeshiftroomforthenight.âWhatthehell?âThewordscrawledfrom mylipsasIproppedmyselfup,anauseouswavehittingmewiththesubtletyofasledgehammer.
Withalurch,Iboltedforthebathroom,theacidicburninmythroataheraldoftheimminentupheaval Secondsbeforemy stomachrevolted,Iwashunchedoverthetoilet,theechoofmyretchingbouncingoffthecoldtiles.Theaftermathhadme rinsingoffmyface,thewaterinthesinkfailingtowipeawaythenightâssins
Themirrorcastbackareflectionofamaninshambles.TryingtopiecetogetherthefragmentsofhowIendedupsprawled inthisoffice,mymindunhelpfullyreplayedmynightwithDaphne,anightthatchangedmylife.Anightthatwassupposedto curemyneedforher,butonlyheightenedittohigherlevels
It scared the shit out of me.
Thememoryofthatteenageboycominghometothelifelessbodiesofhisparents,theweightofhisfatherâsfinalnote heavyinhishands,surgedthroughme.Thefear,rawandvisceral,hadmeseekingoblivion,adesperateattempttodousethe firethatDaphneignited
Myreturntotheofficewasastudyindejection,thecouchsoftasIsankintoitsembrace.Thestalescentofperfumewasa ghostonmyclothes,alingeringaccusationofmyattemptstoexorciseherfrommythoughts.
Jonesyâsarrivalwasassubtleashisdisapprovinggaze âIseeyoufinallywokeup,âhegrumbled,takinghisseatatthe deskthatseemedmoreathroneofjudgment.
Ibracedmyself âWhatthehelldidIdolastnight?â
âYoucameintotheclubalreadyhalflit,drinkingallnight,spillingyourgutstomeandlettingafewofthegirlsentertain you,âherecounted Theclubâshazymemories,thestrippers,thedrinking,allcomingbackinflashes âTellmeIdidnât?â
âNo,youletthemplayabit,butafterawhileyougotupstumblingtowardthedoormumblingaboutDaphneandwantingto gotoher,âheprovided,hisvoiceconcerned âIstoppedyouandmadeyousleepitoffhereâ
Jonesyâsconformationwasalifeline.Nolinescrossed.Becausethetruthwas,IwasinlovewithDaphne,andeventhough mypastwasmessingwithmyhead,fuckingoneofthosestripperswouldhavefeltlikecheating Istood âIneedtogoget cleanedupandtalktoDaphne.â
Jonesygaveaheavysigh.âIdonâtthinkshewantstotalktoyou.â
Idroppedbackontothecouch.âWhatdoyoumean?IknowIfuckedupbyignoringher,butsheâllunderstandonceI explainmyself.â
âListen,brother,Ihatetotellyouthis butshesawyouwiththosestrippersâ âWhatdoyoumean, saw me?âMyearlierreliefwasshort-lived.
âShesawyou,man,withAshleyandRosie,andyoulookedallin,âhesaid Hiswordswereagutpunch âHowinthehelldidthathappen?âIsnarled,knowingIwastrulyfucked.Daphnehadseenme,andthattwistedtheknifeof guiltalreadyburieddeep,evendeeper.
âIdonâtknow,sheranintomeasshewashurryingtowardtheexit,shepushedpastme,Ifollowedher,anditwasnâtgood,
thatgirlwasbroken,âhesupplied,confirmingmyworstfears.âIfeltsobadforher,italmostmademegocomforther,butI didnâtthinkshewantedthat,âhetoldme.God,ifJonesyfeltbadforher,thenitmusthavebeenhorrible. Istood,feelingtheweightoftheworldonmyshoulders Theimageofherbrokenspirithauntedme âIneedtogocleanup andthenfigureouthowtofixthis,âImurmured,theresolvehardeninginmyvoice.Ilefttheclubandstraddledmybike, roaringittolife,tireskickingupdirtasIspedaway