ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
First of all, I’d like to thank my co-author, Ben, who is not only a great writer but a wonderful human being. Making the decision to work on a project like this with a friend was a brave one for both of us. There were moments when I had to apologize profusely for missing deadlines, and somehow he forgave me. I love him more than I did before we started, which I didn’t think was possible.
My mother, Nancy S. Erickson, JD, LLM, MA, was immensely helpful during this project. She is a lawyer with extensive knowledge of women’s legal history and has been editing my writing since I learned how to write. In addition to providing feedback on parts of this book, she also wrote the first draft of the section on women’s legal rights.
Finally, thank you to Abby, who is a true partner to me in every sense of the word. I don’t think there is anything in life we can’t accomplish together.
Laura
I owe tremendous gratitude to Laura, my co-author. This book was her vision, and I am humbled to have been included in it. Laura’s incredible knowledge and clarity is certainly what allowed this book to make it to print. Thank you, Laura, for your brilliance, humor, and dedication.
x Acknowledgments
Thank you to Clare, Maddie, Caty, Ember, Julia, Jess, Beck, Annie, and Todd, who provided endless encouragement and love, always.
To transgender and gender diverse people across the globe who demonstrate daily the beauty in difference, thank you. Ben
INTRODUCTION
Gender is all around us. Beliefs about gender impact our jobs, families, schools, religions, laws, politics, relationships, sports, clothes, and so much more. Gender permeates almost every aspect of our lives as humans.
Although this book is part of a series called “What Everyone Needs to Know,” it would be impossible to cover everything known about gender in one book, and since gender is something we all have in common and at the same time all experience differently, a consensus on the “most important” parts of gender differs based on personal experience and interest. In this book, we’ve tried to give you the highlights, so that you can dig deeper on your own if you hit a topic that’s interesting to you.
With a book like this, there is always the question of what to include. Given space limitations, by making a decision to cover a topic, we have also made a choice not to cover another topic. And who are we to decide? Inevitably, we have left things out that authors from a different social or political background might have included.
Because gender is omnipresent, it is intertwined with so many other facets of our identities and lives. We cannot talk about gender without talking about race or class, for instance. Although we are not the experts on these intersections, we
have attempted to identify the most crucial conversations so that readers are aware that they are happening.
Gender, and the words we used to describe it, depend on where we live and who we interact with. They are also constantly evolving. Still, there are terms that are important to know to have a common language to start from.
Gender is an individual and social experience, as opposed to sex, which is determined by chromosomes and hormones. To complicate things, there are overlaps between these two concepts, and there is evidence that gender may be biologically influenced. An individual’s sex may be male, female, or intersex. Those who are intersex may have chromosomes or hormones that vary from expected binary combinations.
Gender identity is a person’s inner sense of their gender as male, female, or something else. Gender roles reflect societal expectations for behaviors based on gender. A person’s gender expression involves their mode of demonstrating gender to the world, through clothing, hair style, and mannerisms.
Transgender, or trans, people are those whose gender identities are different from their genders assigned at birth. Those who are cisgender have gender identities that match their assigned genders. Some people identify as nonbinary, meaning that they do not see themselves as either a man or a woman, but something outside of or in-between these. Binary transgender people typically use traditional pronouns such as he/ him or she/her, while nonbinary individuals may use other pronouns, including they/them or ze/hir.
Sexual orientation is separate from gender identity and reflects the genders or sexes of the people someone is attracted to. The acronym LGBTQ is typically expanded as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer or questioning and may have additional letters added depending on the situation.
Lesbians are those who identify as women and are attracted to other women. Gay is a more gender-neutral term and can apply to anyone who is attracted to those with the same gender identity as themselves. Straight people are men attracted to
women, or vice versa. Bisexual refers to those who are attracted to more than one gender. Pansexual is becoming a more popular term to describe similar attractions and, for some, signifies a less binary approach to sexuality. There are also those who identify as asexual and may have relationships but do not feel sexually attracted to others.
Queer is a complicated term that was reclaimed after originally being used as a slur. In some contexts, it is political— signifying a resistance to traditional expectations—while in other situations, it is more of an umbrella term to describe those who are not straight, and sometimes, those who are not cisgender.
Gender roles across time and throughout the world are varied and diverse, although most societies are patriarchal, elevating men above women by giving them more power. Patriarchal systems are typically based in sexism, discrimination based on gender. Most cultures are also heterosexist, biased in favor of heterosexual (straight) people; heteronormative, centered around straight culture; and homophobic, biased against homosexual (gay) people. They are also cissexist, biased in favor of cisgender people; cisnormative, centered around cisgender culture; and transphobic, biased against transgender people.
The United States, along with many other countries, has a history of colonization, where one group has come in by force and taken over another, affecting every aspect of the colonized community’s existence, including their gendered lives. Many in the United States face oppression based on more than one aspect of their identities. Oppression can also weave together with privilege , which is the advantage afforded to certain groups based on identities such as gender, race, class, religion, and ability. Intersectionality is an approach that allows us to explore these experiences, keeping in mind the many interdependent systems that affect our lives.
This is not an exhaustive list of terms, and those included here are bound to change over time, but they may allow you to familiarize yourself with key concepts related to gender as you move forward to the pages that follow. It is our hope that this book inspires you to explore the world of gender wherever it may take you.
GENDER 101
How is gender different from sex?
Gender and sex are terms that are often used interchangeably and can have different meanings in different contexts. However, in general, sex refers to physical characteristics, and gender to social aspects of identity.
Sex is usually assigned at birth as either male or female depending on the appearance of the genitals. There are also many people who are intersex, meaning that their bodies do not fully match our expectations of either male or female. Intersex people may be identified at birth, but many are not.
We have certain ideas about what “typical” sex development looks like. Those with XX chromosomes are expected to be born with ovaries, a vagina, a vulva, and a clitoris. When they reach puberty, we assume they will develop breasts and start to menstruate. Those with XY chromosomes are expected to be born with testicles and a penis. When they reach puberty, we assume they will grow tall, develop facial and body hair, and produce sperm.
Even among those who match these typical trajectories, there can be a tremendous amount of variation. There are many tall women and short men. There are women with lots of body hair and men with very little. Intersex people can differ from these expectations in many ways. They may have XY
chromosomes and a vagina, or XX chromosomes and an enlarged clitoris. Sex may seem simple compared to gender, but it’s more complicated than we think.
Just as we are assigned a sex at birth, we are also assigned a gender, and our assigned gender generally reflects our assigned sex. Those born with a vulva and a vagina are typically raised as girls, and those born with a penis and testicles are typically raised as boys. Gender roles—the positions and responsibilities expected of us based on our assigned gender—vary from country to country and even within countries depending on our social groups. Clothing considered “normal” for women or men in one country may seem extremely unusual in another. The same is true of behaviors and relationships.
Some people talk about gender as a “social construction,” something that is created by society. Given such wide variation in gender expression—appearance, clothing, and behavior— across the world, it is clear that many aspects of gender are learned. However, there is controversy over the relative contributions of “nature” and “nurture” to our gender identity—our internal sense of our own gender.
While gender roles and gender expression may depend heavily on social influences, there is building evidence that gender identity may have biological components, such as genetic or hormonal influences. Prenatal hormone exposure appears to have an influence on gender identity, although in ways we have yet to completely understand. If gender identity is in some part biologically based, then the line between sex and gender becomes even more complex.
What is gender identity?
Gender identity is our self-conception of who we are—our innermost sense of being a man, a woman, or something else entirely. For some people, gender identity is consistent with their sex assigned at birth. People who have penises often unquestionably identify as men, and those with vulvas, as women.
But what makes someone a man or a woman? What is gender identity, really? If a woman undergoes a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus), most would agree that this does not mean she is no longer a woman. If a man needs one or both testicles removed, he may grapple with what this means for his masculinity, but he remains a man.
Even without certain body parts, there is something that connects us to our womanhood or manhood, something else that identifies us with gender—even when we can’t see, don’t know, or have lost an aspect of the body that typically confirms sex. That “something else” can be thought of as gender identity—how our brain thinks about ourselves as gendered beings, and what those genders mean to us.
Gender identity is complex and varies with cultural context. Our gender identities are shaped by the fact that we grow up in different homes and families, with distinct traditions and gendered role models. Man and woman are the words we use to identify a complex array of gendered thoughts, ideals, and assumptions.
Most infants with penises grow into self-identified boys and men, who have similar ideas about what that means. The name we use for this group of people is cisgender, meaning that there is a congruence between their sex assigned at birth and the gender with which they identify. Transgender people, on the other hand, identify with a gender different from the one they were assigned. Cisnormativity, the cultural assumption that people are going to be cisgender, influences the way we see ourselves growing up.
Cisgender people, when asked how they knew they were a boy or a girl, often respond as if the question were preposterous. Many transgender people similarly discuss their gender as being forever constant and intrinsically known— that despite the genitals between their legs, the distinct feeling of being a man, woman, boy, or girl, was always there. By three years old, most toddlers have a sense of their gender, and soon
after, some children whose gender identities do not match societal expectations are able to identify this discrepancy.
Gender identity forms early on as part of a developmental process of identity formation wherein a young person begins to understand themselves and their place in their world. It is important to note that not all children have the language, sense of safety, and support they need to talk freely about their gender. Someone feeling like their gender and sex are incongruent may not share that information through their words or actions as a child or even as an adult.
Because many children seem to have a sense of their gender identity very early on, it is likely that gender identity is biologically influenced, although biology does not appear to be the sole determinant of gender identity. There is growing evidence connecting gender identity to prenatal hormone exposure, although there is much debate about where, why, and how gender identity is formed.
Language around gender identity is specific to generation, location, and cultural context. And language is constantly evolving. The words one person uses to identify may be offensive to someone else. It is always best to follow a person’s lead when talking about their gender identity, working to understand the words and language they use to describe their gender most accurately, and what those words mean to them.
What is gender expression?
Gender expression is a term used to describe a person’s outward appearance. Characteristics that are commonly gendered include clothing, jewelry, and hair length and style. Gender expression also includes activities, interests, and mannerisms that are observable. Acting tough or sporty or being aggressive, dominant, or unemotional are all qualities associated with masculinity in a western context. Behaving in a nurturing way, or being gentle, are seen as feminine. These traits are observable through action and may or may not correspond with
an internal identification. There are people whose gender identities are more feminine, but whose gender expressions are more masculine, and vice versa. Gender expression may also change over a person’s lifespan. Young people often present in hyperfeminine or hypermasculine ways, and their gender expression often becomes less stereotypical as they come to understand themselves and their own identities better.
Masculinity is often seen as corresponding with confidence, which is signaled through eye contact, bold body language, and a loud voice commandeering attention. We have come to know these attributes as those that portray credence and conviction. Similarly, we understand masculinity to be presented to us via a series of postures. Stoicism, assertiveness, wearing neutral or dark colors, having shorter hair styles, and possessing courage and determination all indicate masculinity.
Femininity is signaled through a person’s tendency to emote, accessorize, be more delicate in their mannerisms and dress, show more of their body through their clothing, wear makeup, and engage in less competitive, more nurturing activities. Wearing skirts and dresses and donning the color pink are all expected feminine ways to express gender. Buying blue clothing for a baby boy and, later, trucks and sports equipment, evidence an overwhelming assumption that boys will embody and choose to portray masculinity in a very specific way.
Outward expression can be significantly different depending on the cultural context. For example, in the United States, eye contact is expected and positively regarded and is taught in schools to increase effective conversation, persuasiveness, and as an indicator of truth and understanding. However, in China and Japan, eye contact can be seen in certain contexts as insubordinate or disrespectful. In Latin American and African communities, eye contact can, at times, be perceived as aggressive, and in the Middle East, the same quality of eye contact could be seen as a romantic gesture.
The ways in which masculinity and femininity are demonstrated and perceived across culture and time vary significantly
as well. Carrying ornate decorative accessories, adorning jewelry, and wearing makeup have all aligned with power and masculinity in some areas of the world and times in history but would be wildly out of place if the goal was to demonstrate masculinity in the United States today.
It can be surprising to observe the rate at which gendered characteristics of expression are continuously reorganized. Crying, which in our culture indicates vulnerability and is linked with femininity, was a sign of heroism and strength in the feudal period of Japan, throughout the Middle Ages, and in ancient Greece. Makeup, high heels, stockings, and wigs signaled power and masculininity in western countries in the 17th and 18th centuries. Even the color pink, now avoided by those invested in maintaining a masculine gender expression, was considered a strong and passionate color, more suitable for a boy, until World War II.
Gender expression is a complex series of actions that serve to prompt those around us to better understand who we are inside. However, the strength of cultural norms dictating what expressive qualities and characteristics are appropriate to indicate masculinity and femininity have reinforced a narrow and binary range of acceptable behaviors for men and women, respectively. Recently, attention has been drawn to the potentially harmful ramifications of such a strictly gendered stratification. In the 2017 Global Early Adolescent Study, rigid gender expectations were shown to increase the risk of girls entering child marriages, becoming pregnant as teens, and experiencing intimate partner violence. Boys in areas with more rigid gender expectations had elevated rates of substance abuse and suicidality.
Some progress is being made in expanding the ways in which both children and adults are permitted to express themselves. In 2015, the retail store Target announced that it was integrating toys from the boys’ and girls’ aisles, and a number of companies have begun to produce gender neutral clothing. As gender roles change and expand, so does the way culture
creates observable markers, or expressive elements, of personal identity.
What are gender roles?
Each community expects women and men to think, feel, and act in certain ways, simply because they are women or men. Community norms, whether implicit or explicit, shape gender roles, and these expectations are often deeply woven into the fabric of daily life. Coined in 1955 by sexologist and psychologist John Money, the term gender roles describes those spoken and unspoken duties that are assigned to a person based on their sex or gender.
Gender roles not only vary throughout the globe and over time but also within a particular community. Gender roles differ for youth and adults, with adolescence often serving as a pivotal point in a young person’s awareness and ownership over the traits and characteristics they embody. Gender roles may differ by profession and within families, may change from one side of the country to another, and may shift by the day as cultural icons popularize gendered characteristics. Why are gender roles so important to us? What about the human experience necessitates a desire to categorize and reject that which does not fit?
Gender roles are fluid. Girls and women are often taught to be demure, modest, delicate, and subservient. Boys and men are often taught to be strong and confident, able to provide and protect. Over time we have expanded the narrow expectations for gender roles, although most of us continue to perform versions of masculinity and femininity, with care not to stray too far from the traditional.
Gender roles in the United States have changed significantly over time. The 1870 Census, which was the first in which women were counted in the workforce, shows that women were not only employed in factories and in education, but also worked as miners and steelworkers, ship riggers,
gun and locksmiths, hunters and trappers, lawyers, dentists, and doctors. Historically, cultures have varied immensely in terms of permissible gender roles. Ancient Egyptian women could marry and divorce freely, work, and own property. Hatshepsut, Nefertiti, and Cleopatra were all powerful rulers in ancient Egypt, yet women fail to hold the highest positions of leadership today in the United States.
A cursory glance at gender throughout history and across the globe depicts gender roles as being wide and varied and largely assumed as “normal” by way of cultural significance rather than innate predisposition. Yet, despite acknowledged variance, gender roles tend to be strictly defined and reinforced. State regulated or not, a departure from the established regulatory order of gender can trigger outrage. The penalty can range from social ostracization to death.
As one strays from culturally accepted gender roles, a common experience of skepticism or devaluing occurs. Men who appear too feminine become comical in the public eye, and women who possess qualities aligned with masculinity can be ridiculed for being bitchy or bossy, overemotional, hysterical, and frigid. When expression moves away from an expected gender role, another common response is to question a person’s sexuality. When a little boy is teased on the playground, for instance, and called a faggot, likely his tormentors have identified him as “acting like a girl,” rather than having a conceptual understanding of that boy growing up to love and partner with other men. Physically strong women, women who find comfort in casual clothing or short hair, and women perceived as having aggressive qualities are similarly assumed to be queer, gay, or lesbian identified. In reality, we know nothing about the sexuality of the boy who likes pink and ballet, the athletic girl, or the female construction worker.
Over time, particularly throughout the course of the 20th century, gender roles have changed in a cultural shift toward being more gender equitable. Women are no longer solely expected to stay home with children, cook, clean, and accept
a small subset of roles in the workplace. Numerous organizations dedicated to increasing the presence of women and girls in technology, mechanics, and medicine have yielded a more diverse workforce. However, women and men have hardly achieved economic parity. The 2017 Global Gender Gap Report, published by the World Economic Forum, estimated that the global economic gender gap would not be closed for another 217 years. In overall gender equality, encompassing four domains—economic participation and opportunity, educational attainment, health and survival, and political empowerment—the United States ranked 49th of 144 countries, similar to Serbia (40th), Uganda (45th), Botswana (46th), and Bangladesh (47th).
There are some signs of improvement in American women’s gender equity. According to the Pew Research Center, in 46% of two-parent families, both parents work full time, up from 31% in 1970. In only 26% of these households does the father work full time and the mother is a homemaker. Still, statistics show that U.S. women spend about 4 hours a day on unpaid work, versus 2.5 hours for men. And, perhaps surprisingly, straight men aged 18 to 34 are no more likely than older men to participate equally in household labor. When it comes to parenting, women in the United States continue to do significantly more, with married women clocking in at an average of 13.7 hours of childcare per week, versus 7.2 hours for married men.
Some would argue that, while gender roles have expanded for women, allowing them to enter the workforce and engage more in civic life, men’s roles have not similarly shifted. While men have begun to participate more in traditionally feminine arenas, there may not have been as dramatic a change in their ability to step outside of rigidly defined norms of masculinity. Because men’s and women’s roles are intimately linked, working toward more flexible gender roles for men may benefit people of all genders.
What is the gender binary?
The gender binary refers to a structure of understanding wherein sex and gender are viewed as consisting of only two choices—male/female, man/woman, masculine/feminine— with nothing in between. When we think about sex or gender in a binary system, we tend to identify characteristics that are exclusive to one or the other, rather than traits that many people across different genders share.
We can observe the gender binary everywhere. We are assigned “baby boy” or “baby girl” often before we are given our names and sometimes before we are born. In filling out a birth certificate, an application to drive, go to school, rent an apartment, or open a bank account, there are usually only two options to choose from: male or female. We are taught, both subtly and overtly, that men do things women cannot, women engage differently than men, and that there is a planetary divide between the sexes.
Inherent in the gender binary is power. In most modern cultures, men hold more power than women, and those who identify outside of the binary are often highly criticized, objectified, and targeted for violence. Gender fluidity in a world that is largely invested in a binary system of gender can be threatening and confusing because of existing power dynamics.
The gender binary is so ingrained in our culture that most of us do not notice or question it. Even the way we speak is inherently binary. In Spanish and other romance languages, words lack clarity without gendered pronouns and suffixes. In English, phrases like “he or she,” “ladies and gentlemen,” and “boys and girls” reinforce the seemingly unquestionable assumption that there are only two options.
Yet upon further inquiry, we find that throughout history there has been recognition of multiple genders. Native American communities identified individuals known as Two Spirits, and in 2014 India began officially recognizing Hijras, third-gender individuals who have been an active
part of Indian culture for thousands of years. The Warias of modern day Indonesia and the Mahus of Hawaii are similarly nonbinary. Rabbi Elliot Kukla identifies six genders referenced in the Hebrew scriptures, all contributing varied and valued roles in daily life.
A significant number of people have begun to use words like nonbinary or genderqueer to describe themselves. They may see themselves as androgynous or gender neutral, or they may oppose the strict boundaries of binary gendering. As nonbinary identities become more accepted in our own culture, it is likely that all people, including those who identify with binary genders, will benefit from more expansive definitions of gender.
What is gender nonconformity?
Gender nonconformity refers to the experience of someone who does not identify or express the culturally accepted set of gendered behaviors or actions associated with the sex they were assigned at birth. There is a range of gender nonconforming behaviors. Gender nonconformity might describe a masculine woman or a feminine man, or someone whose gender identity is different from that which they were assigned at birth. Some even use the language gender nonconforming, or GNC for short, as the best-fit term to define their gender identity.
A gender nonconforming behavior means that the way someone is perceived transgresses the assumptions of how a man or woman should function in a certain setting. Someone may not be conforming to a typical gender role by choosing a profession that is typically associated with another gender. For instance, it could be considered gender nonconforming for a woman to pursue the fields of plumbing or garbage removal. Given the narrow reality of gender roles, straying outside the lines isn’t actually that hard. One could say that both a woman buying her own car and a stay-at-home dad are not conforming to accepted gender norms.
