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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Young, Mark E., author.
Title: Learning the art of helping : building blocks and techniques / Mark E. Young, University of Central Florida.
Description: Sixth edition. | Boston : Pearson, [2017] | Includes bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2016012245| ISBN 9780134165783 (alk. paper) | ISBN 0134165780 (alk. paper)
Subjects: LCSH: Counseling. | Psychotherapy.
Classification: LCC BF636.6 .Y68 2017 | DDC 158.3—dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016012245
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Mark E. Young is Professor at the University of Central Florida. He received his bachelor’s degree from Miami University, his master’s from Wright State University, and his doctorate from Ohio University. He has trained helpers for more than 25 years and worked as a therapist in community mental health, private practice, college counseling centers, and corrections for more than 15 years. Since 2003 he has been affiliated with the Marriage and Family Research Institute teaching relationship skills to low-income couples. His professional writing has focused mainly on therapeutic methods and techniques, wellness, and couples. If you have comments or suggestions on what you have read, please send an e-mail to meyoung3000@gmail.com.
PREFACE
HOW IS THIS BOOK DIFFERENT FROM OTHER BOOKS ABOUT HELPING SKILLS?
This book is unique in five ways. First, it is based on lessons learned through years of practice and supervision. I have tried to infuse what I learned from my clients, my students, and my teachers about the practical aspects of helping. For example, we will talk about what a therapeutic office environment should look like and how to appropriately terminate a client. My work with students has helped me understand the common problems in learning the art of helping and how to overcome them.
Second, the most important innovation of this book is that it involves you personally in your learning. Throughout the book you are asked to “Stop and Reflect,” to consider thorny issues and challenges that you will face. If you wish, you can journal using Journal Starters or do outside homework to deepen your interaction with the material. In addition, you will have the opportunity to practice on your own by watching videos of helpers and clients and then identify the best helping responses. Every chapter contains Application Exercises in which you can follow the steps of a particular technique and get feedback on your answers.
Third, this book emphasizes that the relationship between helper and client is the most powerful ingredient for success. The relationship (Vitamin R) potentiates all the basic techniques that you will learn. If you and the client are on the same wavelength, progress is possible. When the relationship fails, the helping process falters. In this book, I talk about how to develop a therapeutic relationship and how to repair ruptures that threaten it.
Fourth, I have tried to incorporate the latest research on effective treatments. Staying close to the research can be called “evidence-based practice.” At the same time, we must recognize that there is such a thing as clinical wisdom or “practice-based evidence.” Not every method, technique, or client problem has been researched or even discovered. Thus the helper-in-training needs to learn from his or her clients about what is working for that specific person. I suggest that in every session, the helper should elicit feedback from the client about the relationship and progress toward goals.
Finally, this is a book with an integrative perspective. That means that I have drawn from the techniques of many different theories rather than presenting a purely person-centered or cognitive behavioral approach. At first this may sound like chaos. How can we possibly learn to arrange treatment by blending so many competing theories? In this text, we do not blend theories but instead take a common factors approach to organizing the techniques using the REPLAN method. Common factors are those therapeutic effects that underlie the various theories. REPLAN is an acronym that describes each of the healing factors. R stands for establishing and maintaining a therapeutic Relationship, E is Enhancing efficacy and self-esteem, P means Practicing new behaviors, L is Lowering and raising emotional arousal, A is Activating expectations, hope, and motivation, and N is providing New learning experiences. Every theory emphasizes one or more of these common factors and even advanced therapeutic techniques tend to fall into one of these categories. We have found that categorizing the techniques in this way provides a rational basis for deciding what kind of help the client
needs. Is it important to raise self-esteem or practice new behaviors? This forms the skeleton of our treatment plan and is guided by the goals that are collaboratively formed between helper and client. This approach can incorporate both time-honored methods and cutting-edge techniques.
WHAT IS NEW IN THE SIXTH EDITION?
• The Sixth Edition of Learning the Art of Helping has additional coverage of cultural issues. Throughout the book are new Culture Check sections that highlight issues of culture in research and in personal experiences as they relate to helping skills.
• In addition, Chapter 12 focuses specifically on learning to help those who are culturally different from you.
• For the first time, we have identified helping skills you should develop when you work with children.
• We address the issue of gender differences and how they can challenge the helping relationship.
• The book now includes two new self-assessment tools to help you evaluate recorded sessions or transcripts. They are the Helper Competency Scale, which assesses the basic skills, and the Depth Scale, which looks at the depth of helper responses.
• In addition to the end of chapter activities, such as homework, activities, exercises, self-assessments, and journal starters, we now identify specific points of practice where you can watch a video of the skill you are learning or complete written exercises and receive feedback on your answers. You can now access these ancillary materials at the same time you are reading about them.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
In my own journey, there have been many who have taught and inspired me to be a better person and a better helper. I must acknowledge my teachers Rajinder Singh, J. Melvin Witmer, Harry Dewire, and James Pinnell, my first supervisor, who took me as a raw recruit in a mental health clinic, sacrificing his time and talent to teach me as an apprentice. We shared a zeal and passion for the profession, and his wisdom infuses every chapter of this book. I must also mention those who have encouraged me in my writing, Sam Gladding, Gerald Corey, Jeffrey Kottler, Adam Blatner, James Framo, John Norcross, and Jerome Frank. I appreciate the feedback from my colleagues at Ohio State University, Darcy and Paul Granello, and Daniel Gutierrez at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. Tracy Hutchinson deserves special mention for reading every chapter and giving feedback at every step. I also recognize the helpful comments of those who reviewed various drafts of the manuscript including Hannah Acquaye and Shainna Ali. In addition, the following reviewers supplied insightful feedback for updating this edition: Valerie G. Balog, University of North Carolina at Charlotte; Daniel Bishop, Concordia University Chicago; Natalie Arce Indelicato, University of North Florida; Kristin Perrone McGovern, Ball State University; David A. Scott, Clemson University; and Heather Trepal, University of Texas at San Antonio. I would like to thank my editor, Kevin Davis, who has believed in this book since its first edition. Finally, I recognize the contribution of my wife, Jora, who remains my most demanding critic and my staunchest supporter.
Common Problems in Reflecting Feelings and Their Antidotes 110
Asking the Client, “How Did You Feel?” or “How Did That Make You Feel?” 112
Waiting Too Long to Reflect 112
Making Your Reflection a Question 112
Combining a Reflection and a Question: The Error of the Compound Response 113
Focusing on Other People 113
Interrupting Too Soon and Letting the Client Talk Too Long 114
Confusing the Words Feel and Think 115
Missing the Mark: Overshooting and Undershooting 115
Letting Your Reflecting Statements Go On Too Long 116
Summary 117
Exercises 117
Group Exercises 117
Written Exercises 119
Self-Assessment 120
Homework 120
Journal Starters 120
Chapter 6 ADVANCED REFLECTING SKILLS: REFLECTING MEANING AND SUMMARIZING 121
Meaning, Uncovering the Next Layer 122
Why Reflect Meaning? 124
Challenging the Client to Go Deeper: The Inner Circle
Strategy 126
Worldview: Meanings Are Personal 129
How to Uncover Meaning in the Story 130
Reflecting Meaning 130
Using Open Questions to Uncover Meaning 133
Summarizing 134
Focusing Summaries 135
Signal Summaries 135
Thematic Summaries 136
Planning Summaries 136
The Nonjudgmental Listening Cycle Ends with Summarizing 137
What Happens after the Nonjudgmental Listening Cycle? 138
A Questioning Cycle Typically Found Early in Training 138
Summary 140
Exercises 141
Group Exercises 141
Small Group Discussions 142
Written Exercises 143
Self-Assessment 145
Homework 145
Journal Starters 146
Chapter 7 CHALLENGING SKILLS 147
When Should We Use the Challenging Skills? 149 Giving Feedback 150
Why Is Feedback Important? 150
How to Give Feedback 151
Confrontation 154
What Is a Discrepancy? 154 Why Should Discrepancies Be Confronted? 154
Cognitive Dissonance and Confrontation: Why Confrontation Works 155
Types of Discrepancies and Some Examples 156
How to Confront 158
Steps to Confrontation 159
Common Problems in Confrontation and Their Antidotes 161
Final Cautions about Confrontation 162
Other Ways of Challenging 163
Relationship Immediacy 163
Teaching the Client Self-Confrontation 164
Challenging Irrational Beliefs 165
Humor as Challenge 166
Summary 167
Exercises 168
Group Exercises 168
Small Group Discussions 169
Written Exercises 170
Self-Assessment 170
Homework 174
Journal Starters 174
Chapter 8 ASSESSMENT AND GOAL SETTING 175
Why Assessment? 176
Assessment Is a Critical Part of Helping 177
Reasons to Spend Time in the Assessment Stage 178
Two Informal Methods of Assessment That Every Helper Uses: Observation and Questioning 181
Observation 181
Questioning 183
Conducting an Intake Interview: What to Assess? 184
A. Affective Assessment 184
B. Behavioral Assessment 184
C. Cognitive Assessment 184
1. Developmental Issues 185
2. Family History 186
3. Cultural and Religious/Spiritual Background 186
4. Physical Challenges and Strengths 186
Categorizing Clients and Their Problems 188
Organizing the Flood of Information: Making a Diagnosis 188
Goal-Setting Skills 188
Where Do I Go from Here? Set Goals! 188
Why Must We Set Goals? 190
When to Set Goals 191
What Are the Characteristics of Constructive Goals? 192
Goals Should Be Simple and Specific 192
Goals Should Be Stated Positively 194
Goals Should Be Important to the Client 195
Goals Should Be Collaboration between Helper and Client 195
Goals Should Be Realistic 196
Resources for Identifying and Clarifying Goals 197
The Technique of Using Questions to Identify a Goal 198
Questions That Help Make the Goal More Specific 198
Questions That Help Turn a Problem into a Goal 198
Questions to Determine a Goal’s Importance 199
Questions to Enhance Collaboration on Goal Setting 199
Questions That Help Confirm That the Goal Is Realistic 199
The Technique of Boiling Down the Problem 201
Summary 203
Exercises 204
Group Exercises 204
Small Group Discussions 205
Written Exercises 206
Self-Assessment 206
Homework 206
Journal Starters 207
Chapter 9 CHANGE TECHNIQUES, PART I 208
What Are Change Techniques? 209
REPLAN and the Common Therapeutic Factors 210
Understanding the Factors or Major Components of the REPLAN Model 210
How the REPLAN System Helps You Plan Treatment 211
Using the Common Therapeutic Factors 212
Steps in Treatment Planning Using the REPLAN Model 212
Enhancing Efficacy and Self-Esteem 214
Sources of Low Self-Esteem 216
Silencing the Internal Critic: The Technique of Countering 218
Practicing New Behaviors 221
Role-Playing 223
Giving Homework Assignments as Practice 226
Lowering and Raising Emotional Arousal 230
Reducing Negative Emotions 230
Reducing Anxiety and Stress 231
Raising Emotional Arousal and Facilitating Expression 234
Creating Positive Emotions 236
Summary 237
Exercises 238
Group Exercises 238
Small Group Discussions 240
Self-Assessment 241
Homework 241
Journal Starters 242
Chapter 10 CHANGE TECHNIQUES, PART II 243
Activating Client Expectations, Hope, and Motivation 244
The Demoralization Hypothesis 244
Motivation and Readiness 245
Increasing Expectations and Fostering Hope 246
Providing New Learning Experiences 256
Definitions of New Learning Experiences 256 What Client Problems Are Helped through New Learning? 257
Common Methods for Providing New Learning Experiences 257
Summary 272
Exercises 272
Group Exercises 272
Small Group Discussions 274
Written Exercises 274
Self-Assessment 275
Homework 275
Journal Starters 275
Chapter 11 EVALUATION, REFLECTION, AND TERMINATION 276
Evaluating the Effectiveness of Helping 277
Basic Outcome Evaluation Methods 279
Use Progress Notes to Track Improvement on Goals 279
Use a Global Measure to Detect Overall Improvement 279
Consistently Assess the Client’s View of Progress and the Therapeutic Relationship 280
Use a Specific Measure 281
Use Subjective Scaling and Self-Report to Measure
Improvement 281
Use Another Person to Monitor Change 282
Use Client Satisfaction Scales 282
Use Goal-Attainment Measures 282
Termination 283
How to Prevent Premature Termination 283
How to Tell Whether Termination Is Needed 285
How to Prepare a Client for Termination 286
Dealing with Loss at Termination 286
The Helper’s Reaction to Termination 287
How to Maintain Therapeutic Gains and Prevent Relapse Following Termination 287
Follow-Up 288
Booster Sessions 288
Engaging Paraprofessionals 288
Self-Help Groups 288
Continue Self-Monitoring Activities 288
Role-Playing for Relapse Prevention 289
Letter Writing 289
Summary 289
Exercises 289
Group Exercises 289
Small Group Discussions 290
Written Exercises 290
Self-Assessment 291
Homework 291
Journal Starters 296
Chapter 12 SKILLS FOR HELPING SOMEONE WHO IS DIFFERENT 297
Differences Make a Difference 297 Mismatch between Client and Helper 298
How Can You Become Culturally Competent? 298 What Is Culture, and What Should We Do about It? 299
Skills for Helping Someone Who Is Culturally Different 300
The Skill of Cultural Study and Cultural Immersion 300
A Tutorial Stance: The Skill of Understanding the Client’s Culture by Listening 301
Glossary 315
References 323
Index 349
Tapping Cultural Support Systems 301
Achieving Credibility and Trust 301
Culturally Adapting Treatment: Tailoring Your Approach to the Client 302
Acknowledging Differences by Broaching 303
Skills for Dealing with Gender Issues 303
Challenges Caused by Differences in Gender 303
Skills for Addressing Gender Issues 304
When the Difference Is Gender 305
Skills for Helping a Child 306
Identifying Helping Skills for Working with Children 307
Using Basic Skills as a Guideline for Working with Children 311
The Case for Play Therapy 311
Summary 312
Exercises 312
Group Exercises 312
Small Group Discussions 312
Self-Assessment 313
Homework 313
Journal Starters 313
Helping as a Personal Journey CHAPTER 1
The Demands of the Journey
Becoming a Reflective Practitioner
• Using Reflection to Help You Overcome Challenging Helping Situations and Enhance Your Learning
• Using Reflection to Help Clients with Backgrounds Different from Your Own
• Using Reflection to Accommodate New Information about Yourself
• Learning to Reflect through Exercises in This Book
What Is Helping?
• Psychological Helping
• Interviewing
• What Are Counseling and Psychotherapy?
• Coaching
Challenges You Will Face in Learning the Art of Helping
• The Challenge of Development
• Taking Responsibility for Your Own Learning
• Finding a Mentor
• Finding the Perfect Technique
• In Limbo
• Accepting Feedback and Being Perfect
• Following Ethical Guidelines
• Individual Differences
LEARNING OUTCOMES
By the end of this chapter, you will be able to:
1.1 Identify ways of reflecting that you can begin implementing to deepen your learning of helping skills.
1.2 Recognize that there are personal challenges in learning helping skills such as recognizing the time factor needed to master skills and dealing with ethical dilemmas as you train with fellow learners.
1.3 Identify the therapeutic factors, the building blocks, and the stages of the helping relationship.
THE DEMANDS OF THE JOURNEY
Learning to be a professional helper is a journey that takes years. Besides gaining a basic fund of knowledge about people and their strengths and challenges, one must be constantly learning
Who Can Be an Effective Helper?
• What Can You Bring to a Client?
The Nuts and Bolts of Helping
• Learning Basic Skills and Common Therapeutic Factors
• Therapeutic Building Blocks
• Change Techniques
• The Importance of the Building Blocks
The Stages of the Helping Process:
A Road Map
Summary
Exercises
• Group Exercises
• Group Discussions
• Written Exercises
• Self-Assessment
• Homework
• Journal Starters
and updating knowledge just as a physician needs to know about new treatments and new diseases. But helping is also a personal, “interior” journey because you must be committed to understanding yourself as well as your clients. In this book you will learn the essential helping skills, but it is not enough to be skilled; at every turn, you face self-doubt, personal prejudices, and feelings of attraction, repulsion, and frustration. You will experience self-doubt when your clients encounter complex and unfamiliar problems; you will experience attraction and repulsion because of your personal needs and prejudices based on your cultural conditioning. Moreover, all helpers become frustrated at times when clients fail to reach the goals we expect of them. These reactions can be roadblocks on our journey if they interfere with the ability to form a vibrant client/helper relationship or when we see the client as a reflection of ourselves rather than as a unique human being. Irvin Yalom, in his book Love’s Executioner (1989, pp. 94–95), describes his treatment of an obese woman who is depressed. From the moment he meets her, he is disgusted by her body and realizes his reaction is extreme. It makes him think about the rejection he received for being Jewish and white during his childhood in segregated Washington, DC. He thinks that his repulsion is perhaps a historical attempt to have someone to reject as he was rejected. It makes him wonder why he cannot accept fatness even though he was able to easily counsel people who were criminals when he worked in a prison. All of these reactions flood into his mind before the client ever even opens her mouth. Becoming aware of our prejudiced responses to others is part of the journey of the professional helper. This journey is difficult because it requires that we simultaneously try to focus on the client while keeping a close watch on our own tendencies to judge, to boost our egos, or to force our viewpoint on others.
BECOMING A REFLECTIVE PRACTITIONER
Because of the challenges caused by our personal reactions and unique client characteristics, we believe that helpers need a method of integrating new learning and coping with moments of indecision and doubt. In this book, we teach one method of dealing with the dilemma of understanding the client and monitoring the self. This is an approach called the reflective practitioner. Being a reflective practitioner means that you make a commitment to personal awareness of your automatic reactions and prejudices by taking time to think back on these reactions and perhaps to record them in a journal or discuss them with a supervisor or colleague. In other words, the reflective practitioner consciously reviews what has happened and decides on a plan of action. Jeffrey Kottler (2010) considers reflection to be not only a necessary characteristic of an effective helper but also a form of training. Reflection trains one to be open to contemplation, to consider alternative plans of action, to become resourceful, and to be inquisitive in one’s lifestyle as well as in one’s work.
You may find that your teachers ask you to use reflective methods in class and on your own. For example, the teacher might use such techniques as Socratic questioning (asking leading questions), journal writing, watching and then reflecting on video segments, conducting small groups to react to case studies, or even reflecting teams (Griffith & Frieden, 2000; Magnuson & Norem, 2002; Willow, Bastow, & Ratkowski, 2007). Just as every client will respond to the same technique or skill in a different way, you, as a student, will react to different learning situations based on your history and favored learning
styles. Some students learn best by listening and then reflecting, others need to write down what they are learning, and some do best when they can have hands-on experience and then talk about the theory. Thus, you will respond differently to different assignments throughout your program of study based on your individual preferences. Still, reflection can help you even when a teacher’s method does not suit your learning style. You can record what is said and then write your reaction and rebuttals in the margins. You can come to class with questions and concerns based on the previous week’s lesson. In short, the method of the reflective practitioner challenges you to be more than a receptacle of knowledge. It asks you to chew everything thoroughly before you swallow it, rather than to merely remember and give back just what you have heard or read.
Using Reflection to Help You Overcome Challenging Helping Situations and Enhance Your Learning
If you are engaged in a course of study to become a professional helper, you will be confronted with many challenging experiences both in the classroom and when you actually meet your clients. For example, a client may be hostile and uncooperative. Your training may tell you to encourage clients to articulate their concerns more fully. But sometimes this seems to make the client even madder. The process of reflection can help at such times when tried-and-true methods are not working. Let me give an example from my own experience. When I was first learning group counseling, I read in several textbooks that clients should never receive both group and individual therapy at the same time. As I began to practice group counseling, I found support for this rule in the fact that when clients received both forms of treatment, they did not contribute to the group, saving their most personal issues for their individual sessions. One day, I received a new client for my group who had undergone a number of very traumatic events and was still being seen individually by another therapist. She performed beautifully in group, and she felt that individual counseling was a vital support in her life. She seemed to be profiting from both forms of treatment. Normally, I would insist on the client dropping out of individual counseling while she attended my group, but now my rule of thumb was in jeopardy because it did not seem to be limiting her progress or the group. In fact, she was applying the insights of individual counseling to her interpersonal world! I went to my supervisor with my dilemma, and she helped me put my old rule and my new experience together. With her help, I constructed a revised rule: “Most of the time, clients will not benefit from both forms of treatment; however, there are times, especially when the client is in need of a great deal of support or has been traumatized, when both modalities might be beneficial.” I have found that the process of reflection allows me to better accommodate new information rather than rejecting it out of hand. You will undoubtedly experience similar moments as you study the skills of helping. You may be shocked when you discover that the methods you have always used to help your friends are not recommended in a therapeutic relationship. At times like these, reflection can help you meld old and new information.
Using Reflection to Help Clients with Backgrounds Different from Your Own
An important and frequent challenge occurs when you encounter people who are completely different from you in one or several ways: culture or ethnicity, socioeconomics,
education, race, religion/spirituality, and family rules and relationships. For example, you will encounter family situations where people openly express their thoughts and feelings and others where they rarely if ever reveal their inner lives to each other. Because of your own upbringing, you might be shocked by or you might disapprove of a particular family dynamic. If you undertake the challenge of becoming a reflective practitioner, allow yourself to register surprise and all the other emotions as you encounter these novel situations. Later, take time to think back on what you know and what you have learned and compare it with your new experience. Through reflecting, you will be better able to separate your personal prejudices about what seems normal and perhaps look at the situation from an alternate viewpoint. The ability to see another perspective is enhanced when you have the opportunity to reflect with teachers, fellow students, and supervisors. Growth means that we consciously stretch and are able to see multiple viewpoints. That is why we think of helpers as expanders rather than as “shrinks.”
Using Reflection to Accommodate New Information about Yourself
Perhaps more than any other profession, helping requires helpers to become aware of their own personalities, preferences, values, and feelings. Reflection can help you integrate new discoveries that you make about yourself. It allows you to carefully consider the feedback you are getting from supervisors, teachers, fellow students, and even your clients. In the course of your training, others will comment on your interpersonal style (the typical way you interact with others), your words, and even your gestures and posture. You will frequently become defensive, rationalizing your mistakes, discounting the giver of feedback, or blaming the client for a lack of progress. These are natural reflexes to the threat of feeling uncertain, impotent, or incompetent. Yet the reflective practitioner is one who examines and reflects on critical incidents and strong personal feelings in the course of supervision, rather than making excuses or blaming others. He or she learns from difficult clients, unpleasant interactions, failure of a technique, and unexpected successes (Gordon, 2004). So, being a reflective practitioner also means having the courage to ask for feedback from others and then to reflect on how you can work more effectively in a particularly difficult situation (Kinsella, 2010; Schön, 1983, 1987).
The following are some ways that you can be proactive in reflecting on your practice, including asking for supervision, developing a support group of fellow learners, becoming a client yourself, and keeping a personal journal. In addition, this book provides a number of opportunities to personally respond to the material, including exercises to help you become accustomed to the reflective process.
ASK FOR SUPERVISION
Supervision is the practice of a helper and a supervisor sitting down to review the helper’s problems and successes with his or her clients. In supervision, you will reflect on possible courses of action, ethical issues, and personal reactions. Everyone in the helping field needs periodic supervision whether he or she is a student or an experienced practitioner. Professional helpers are required to be under supervision while they are students and during their post-degree internships. Lawrence LeShan (1996) reported that his own mentor still sought supervision for herself, even when she was in her 80s, indicating that the reflective process is necessary at all stages of the journey. This approach abandons the view of supervision as a dependent relationship and guidance as the main purpose of the meeting. Supervision’s real value is that it is a time set aside for
you to listen to yourself as you explain your situation to someone else. As a student, you may have the opportunity to ask supervisors and faculty members to look at your videos and discuss cases with you. Make use of this valuable opportunity to reflect on your work. Schön (1987) indicates that having a “master teacher” is important, but it must be in a setting where you have the chance to face real problems, try out various solutions, and make mistakes. The best learning environment involves reflection in action
DEVELOP A SUPPORT GROUP OF FELLOW LEARNERS
Another golden opportunity for reflecting on your new learning is to develop a supportive group of co-learners with whom you can discuss your personal reactions to the material. Many therapists in private practice are members of such groups. In some training programs, students are part of a cohort or group that goes through every class together. If you are not part of a cohort, you can still develop a supportive group that meets regularly, shares information, and studies together.
BECOME A CLIENT
Another way of building a reflective component into your learning plan is to enter a counseling relationship as a client. More than half of therapists become clients after their advanced training and about 90% consider it to be very beneficial (Norcross, 1990). Many universities offer free services to students, and this can be a way for you to experience what it is like to sit in the other chair. You should be aware that some schools restrict their counseling centers to people who are in critical need.
KEEP A PERSONAL JOURNAL
One of the most popular methods for reflecting is to keep a personal journal. Some helpers even use journals as a therapeutic technique and a way of assessing the client’s feelings, relationships, and dreams (Stone, 1998). They write their reflections to clients in letters, or client and helper journal together and compare notes. There is a boom in blogging and online Internet journals. Personal journaling is also available on your smartphone using applications such as Day One, Momento, My Day Journal, and Journie.
OTHER METHODS FOR REFLECTING
Reflection does not have to be a separate activity. It can be incorporated into your daily life as a student or practitioner. A number of writers (e.g., Gordon, 2004; Sax, 2006) have compiled lists of opportunities for reflection. The examples that follow were submitted by helpers working in the field. They found that reflecting can take place:
• When writing case notes
• During group supervision
• During individual discussion with a supervisor
• In personal therapy
• While journal writing
• During meditation
• As a part of course assignments such as papers
• While listening to recorded sessions
• When talking informally to fellow practitioners
• When unexpectedly thinking about a client
• In online groups, synchronously or asynchronously
Learning to Reflect through Exercises in This Book
As you read this book, we will offer several opportunities to develop this reflective habit. In every chapter, we have included “Stop and Reflect” sections that ask you to consider your reaction to real cases or situations. These sections have no right or wrong answers. Instead, they ask for personal reactions and hopefully stimulate your thinking. They can make your learning more interactive if you take the time to respond as authentically as you can.
You will also have opportunities to receive feedback from your fellow students and to reflect on your own progress when you practice new skills. Finally, we have included suggested journal questions at the end of each chapter. These questions are meant to kindle your thinking, but do not feel that answering these questions is your only journaling option. If you do not find the stimulus question to be relevant, design your own or, instead, record your reaction to your practice sessions each week.
Next we look at helping and the different emphases of counseling, psychotherapy, interviewing, and coaching in helping clients. Being a skilled reflective practitioner is a benefit in each field and in each helping relationship.
Exercise 1.1 A Reflection Plan
WHAT IS HELPING?
Helping is a broad term that encompasses all the activities we use to assist another person, whether we have a therapeutic relationship or not. For example, a school administrator who takes time to listen to a crying first grader can utilize helping skills. A foster parent can learn to listen to the child and to the biological parents. A teacher’s aide in a sixth-grade classroom can take a nonjudgmental stance when a child talks about why homework is late. Marital partners can help each other deal with disappointments and frustrations. Helping does not require a contract or a professional, confidential relationship. Helping only requires a person desiring help (a client), someone willing and able to give help (a helper), and a conducive setting (Hackney & Cormier, 2005). You can learn helping skills and use them whether you are on the way to becoming a professional or you simply want to help those with whom you live and work. In Table 1.1, we identify some of the major ways that we can help another person, whether physically, financially, spiritually, psychologically, or through advocacy. The table provides examples and cautions, and briefly describes the role of the helper. One of the current controversies is how much emphasis should be placed on advocacy, or seeking to change unfair social and political systems, rather than on merely helping an individual client. Consider the anecdote about a group of people pulling accident victims from the river without sending anyone upstream to see why people were ending up in the river in the first place. The apparent moral is that we need to prevent people from falling in rather than just treating the victims. The problem is that there will always be people falling in the river, and someone still needs to pull them out. Efforts to make our social systems more responsive and just will not entirely replace the need to help individual clients. So, we take the stance that although all helpers should have
MyCounselingLab Application
TABLE 1.1 Ways of Helping
Ways of HelpingExampleCautions
PhysicallyJoining Habitat for Humanity to build houses
FinanciallyGiving money to the Red Cross
None
Advocating at agency or school level
Advocating at the sociopolitical level
Calling Social Security to understand application procedures and explaining them to the client
Writing letters of complaint or concern to the Veterans Administration about gaps in service; helping client get on Medicaid
SpirituallyEncouraging client to pray or meditate; read scriptures; go to church, mosque, or temple; or utilize spiritual beliefs to aid treatment
PsychologicallyCounseling or psychotherapy to aid client in changing, thoughts, feelings, and behaviors
Not all organizations make the best use of donated funds. Be sure your donations are used effectively.
This kind of help is only useful if clients then learn more about how to work the system themselves.
You must have client’s permission if advocating for a specific client.
Help That Is Not Helping
Doing things for people that they can do for themselves makes them dependent.
Giving money to a person on the street can assuage your conscience but may not actually be helping.
The client may be helped in one situation but not empowered to deal with future situations.
Professional helping requires a client. Most clients are not looking for this kind of help.
Role of the HelperComment
Laborer
Helpers must be aware of their client’s background and their own personal biases.
Client may be seeking to avoid or oversimplify problems rather than address them.
Donor
This kind of helping requires a commitment to personal growth and a long period of training and supervision.
Clients can become dependent on the relationship, and the helper must stay alert to when the client needs to go it alone.
Client Advocate
This is a normal part of every helper’s daily work.
ActivistMore educators are recommending additional training for helpers in this area.
Spiritual Advisor
Helpers are becoming more aware of their responsibility to consider this aspect of a person’s life and help or refer.
