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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Names: Kubicek, Jeremie, author.
Title: The peace index : a five-part framework to conquer chaos and find fulfillment / Jeremie Kubicek.
Description: Hoboken, New Jersey : John Wiley & Sons, Inc., [2023] | Includes bibliographical references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2022028738 (print) | LCCN 2022028739 (ebook) | ISBN 9781119985921 (cloth) | ISBN 9781119985976 (adobe pdf) | ISBN 9781119985914 (epub)
Subjects: LCSH: Peace of mind. | Peace—Psychological aspects. | Calmness.
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022028738
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022028739
Cover Design: Paul McCarthy
This book is dedicated to my mom, Kianna Kubicek
Your laugh is contagious, your smile is constant, and your peace is infectious
Thank you for loving and caring for all of us, all the time. I love you!
Acknowledgments
Iam so thankful for the following people who played a crucial role in creating the Peace Index. Without them, there wouldn’t be an Index that helps so many people worldwide. I want to show appreciation to:
• Frog Orr-Ewing. I first heard the concept of Peace through Purpose, People, and Place at Latimer Minster when living in London. His sermon inspired conversations and the creation of a tool designed to help people understand their levels of Peace. Frog (yes, that is his name) is a Postdoctoral Teaching Fellow of Mission in the Department of Theology at the University of Winchester. He is full of energy and life, and I am thankful for his influence.
• Steve Cockram. Steve and I began building visual tools together in the summer of 2013 as our families decided to move into a manor house on the outskirts of London. We launched GiANT Worldwide that year with the vision of training liberators to unlock people around the world. That vision is happening. Our work is in over 114 countries at current count, and I am grateful for our work together.
Acknowledgments
• Dr. Joe Hill. Steve Cockram and I had been expanding the original Peace Index (Purpose, People, Place) to include Physical Health. Still, Joe pushed us to codify the tool to be more rounded by focusing on Personal Health and adding Provision. Thank you, Joe, for your input and challenge.
• GiANT Worldwide. We currently have over 800 guides (coaches and consultants) who use the Peace Index regularly to unlock people and help them be more fruitful and free. Special thanks to all the guides for fighting for the highest possible good of the clients you serve. (If you want to learn how to be certified to do that, head on to www.giantworldwide.com.)
There is a plethora (my ode to Three Amigos there) of people who have contributed to this book by supporting me. I want to thank specifically:
• My wife, Kelly. She allowed me to focus intensely for 30 days while she was building our event center/ wedding venue at our family Farmstead.
• My People. Special thanks to my kids (Addison, Will, and Kate) for being fabulous 20-somethings. You make my world so peaceful because you are living in Peace. The same goes for my parents, Mike and Kianna. Thank you for working with Kelly doing manual labor while I was typing away!
• Bronson Taylor. Thank you for running GiANT flawlessly, which allows me to create and be a passionate Connector for the movement.
• Kevin DeShazo. Thanks for running so hard with me on our college athletics work (www.culturewins .com). So excited for OU athletics and the many other schools.
• Tracy Rader. Thank you for working with me on several fronts, from speaking management to an excellent Summit Pack partner to a qualified GiANT HQ member. And friend!
• Kary Oberbrunner. Thank you for being my pace car and pushing me to step into my identity quickly. Kary is amazing.
• Andrea Ediger. Thanks for managing my schedule and fighting hard to help me carve out my writing time and order my world.
• Andrew Robinson and Landon Lynch. Thanks for being amazing friends and for pushing me with your edits and inputs in record time. I am so proud of you both and your influence in this world.
• GiANT Partners. Thanks for partnering with me and for giving feedback and for allowing me to call all of you up to higher levels.
Introduction: The War
Think about the time when you were completely at Peace. How long has it been since you experienced that feeling of freedom?
Real Peace. Most people want it, but it often feels unattainable—especially in the world we experience daily.
What is the opposite of Peace?
The answer is war. Conflict, hostility, or hatred as well. Ultimately, the opposite of Peace is chaotic unrest. You can see chaos in the socioeconomic strains and geopolitical fractures that have led to a tsunami of global instability. We all know them as we review this partial list:
• Nations at war
• A global pandemic
• Political chaos
• Social unrest
• The climate
• Economic upheaval
• Distrust of people
It’s no wonder global stress is so high. A Harris Poll, on behalf of the American Psychology Association, revealed the following:
“More adults rated inflation and issues related to the invasion of Ukraine as stressors that are higher than any other issue asked about in the 15-year history of the Stress in America poll. This comes on top of money stress at the highest recorded level since 2015, according to a broader Stress in America poll fielded last month.”1
The world is full of chaos, which leads to anxiety, gloom, and unrest.
What Happens When There Is No Peace?
A world of chaos camouflages Peace. In this state it is hard to see anything but turmoil.
1American Psychological Associate. (2022). Inflation, war push stress to alarming levels at the two-year COVID-19 anniversary. (10 March). https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2022/03/ inflation-war-stress?msclkid=d1f5818bcd6811ecacee480d8f401484 (accessed 26 April 2022).
The book Mind of the Athlete by Dr. Jarrod Spencer2 talks about the four primary negative emotions people tend to struggle with when there is conflict: anger, depression, hate, and anxiety.
He states, “The stronger the emotions are, the more time you are likely to spend thinking about life experiences that led to your feeling these emotions.”
Dr. Spencer goes on to explain the definition of each of these negative emotions:
• Anger is emotional hurt.
• Depression is hurt held inward.
• Hate is feeling threatened by someone or something.
• Anxiety is fear of the unknown.
It makes sense that so many people have globally struggled amidst discord and chaos. Lockdowns, lost jobs, inflation, and war can easily lead to emotional hurt—to anger. This leads people to the edge of their capacity to process change in a healthy way. That edginess leads to volatility. We wear our emotions on our sleeve, get hurt by others, and lash out in anger amidst the external uncertainty.
2Spencer, J. (2016). Mind of the Athlete: Clearer Mind, Better Performance. Self-published.
Long periods of anger and hopelessness lead to depression. Social and other media stoke that anger and cause people to implode or explode with self-medication, isolation, and rage.
We can track hate as a result of being isolated for an extended period and not genuinely understanding others or building relational trust. Therefore, a person can quickly feel hatred for other political parties or personalities or persons in their life associated with those threatening people.
Without internal Peace, there will never be external Peace
Hate must encounter extreme love for it to be broken, and segregation or isolation doesn’t help. This hatred tends to lead to the fear of the unknown, and that anxiety can lead to rampant worry, and worry is worthless.
The project of Peace begins within. We must calm the internal unrest. The alternatives are to continue to blame others or justify the actions that support our narrative. You must fight for Peace on the inside.
Negative emotions, self-medicating addictions, and hatred fill the hole we create when we lack peace.
Avoidance
Could this be why so many people are focusing on futuristic escapes?
Will technology bring Peace by allowing us to live an alternative life, so we don’t have to face and fix our present lives?
Maybe a life change will bring Peace. We sell our home and buy an RV, save money for that epic trip into orbit so we can see the world from a different perspective.
Avoidance isn’t the answer. To conquer chaos and find Peace, we need to understand what Peace is and isn’t.
Understanding Peace
There are two types of Peace in our world:
• External Peace
• Internal Peace
External Peace is what most people think about at first blink when they hear the word peace. At a speaking event, I surveyed a group of people by asking them, “What comes to mind when you hear the word ‘Peace’?” The overwhelming answer was, “War,” and stopping any future wars.
That is so interesting as Peace, by definition, is freedom from disturbance.
How many times have you said, “If I could just have some Peace and quiet around here!” The desire for freedom from being disturbed is a goal for many of us. And yet, most don’t know how to find that because this level of Peace only occurs internally.
How do you find internal Peace with such a lack of external Peace? This book answers that question. I want to help you conquer the chaos that creates turmoil and improve your Peace Index. The tools you are about to experience will help you win the inner war for your own well-being.
The word “Peace” contains numerous meanings. Phrases, symbols, and shared meanings make it less understood but still desirable. Symbols of Peace include:
Other examples from art, culture, and literature include:
• War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy.
• “Peace Train” by Cat Stevens.
• Peace like a river.
• Peace talks.
• Peace pipes.
• “Keeping the Peace.”
• Waging Peace.
• Peace signs.
• Peace out.
• Peace, hope, and love.
• Peace of mind, etc.
And one of the most potent phrases on Peace comes from Jesus of Nazareth, “Peace I leave with you. My Peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or fearful.” (John 14:27 CSB)
Almost everyone has wanted world Peace—from activists to prayer warriors to pageant contestants sharing their heart’s desires.
The idea of R.I.P.—Rest in Peace—at funerals is the hope that the deceased can finally be free of the chaos and turmoil in this world. RIP is kind of a way of “throwing up our hands” and saying, “Well, if it can’t be had in life, then at least there’s one place where peace is guaranteed.”
Internal Peace
“Never
be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner Peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.”
–
Saint Francis de Sales
External Peace is a state or period in which there is no war, or a war has ended. Internal Peace is when you experience calm in the mind, body, and spirit. You have become free from anxiety, worry, and drama.
Internal Peace is not the absence of conflict but the ability to handle issues in a way that makes you better, not worse.
Finding Peace of mind amidst chaos results in fewer worries, fears, and anxieties. Inner Peace has some fantastic benefits:
• Better sleep.
• Less drama with friends, coworkers, or family.
• Security, confidence, humility.
• Negatives not sticking to you.
• Resolve amidst trials.
• Increased energy levels and improved emotional management.
A person at war with themselves is at war with the world.
More external unrest calls for more inner Peace!
War with yourself leads to more struggle. Inner Peace brings tranquility irrespective of the external challenges. Some of you may think this is unrealistic. What follows will not only challenge your skepticism, but it may also even make you a believer. I don’t believe that we can experience absolute Peace. Our experience of Peace fluctuates like a thermometer. Some seasons offer more Peace than others. The questions we each need to face are: 1) What is my relative sense of Peace at this moment? and 2) How can I increase my sense of Peace tomorrow?
Dealing with the Crazies
The external chaos may not have anything to do with things happening in the world around you. Your external issues may come from your crazy relative, who drives you insane every week. Or your external unrest could be from your teammate at work who behaves erratically or spews negative thoughts about everything daily. The crazies might be making you crazy. The People in your life could be the ones causing your Peace Index to dip.
Can you be at Peace in a chaotic world? Can you be at ease when you have crazies in your daily life? Can you create an inner Peace when there is no outer Peace?
Can you create Peace when you are the crazy one?
Choosing Peace
You must choose to create an inner Peace when there is no outer Peace.
Inner Peace occurs when you are calm and at ease while irritants, annoyances, and stressors are all around you. Peace of mind happens when you can experience contentment, joy, and bliss when difficult things are happening in your life.
This book helps you find Peace by controlling the controllable moments of life. You’ll find the tools you need to select Peace amidst unrest, quiet confidence over chaos, and contentment when there is little reason to be contented.
The path toward Peace begins when you identify the barriers between you and Peace. You’ll identify these barriers and how to overcome them. You will learn how to experience Peace when:
• Your Purpose is off, and your future looks grim.
• Your People drive you crazy.
• Your Place is less than ideal.
• Your Personal Health falters.
• Your lack of Provision keeps you awake wondering how you’ll pay the bills.
I find the Isaac Wheadon song, “I’m at Peace While the World Isn’t,” mesmerizing and cathartic. The lyrics repeat over and over:
“It’s so amazing / I’m at Peace while the world isn’t / I’m at Peace while the world isn’t”
What if you were the most peaceful person in the room tomorrow? This book will help you find out what is causing you drama and how to deal with it. It is designed to help you increase the Peace in your life and fight to
cultivate your own sense of well-being. You will learn to improve issues by assessing the pain and creating a plan to resolve it.
But you must make a choice. Choosing Peace is just one option. To experience it, you have to choose it.
Doing the Hard Work
A few years ago, my dad took my son and me on an epic Alaska fishing adventure. One day, we were flying on a seaplane that took us deep into the Alaskan wilderness. We caught fish, took terrific pictures, and were chased by a bear (yep, it happened). I didn’t want to talk to anyone on the flight back. I was cold and just wanted to warm up and maybe take a catnap.
Just then, I was nudged on the leg by this guy in front of me who slid his earphones off and asked, “What do you do?” I thought, “Really, man, I just want to rest.” So, I made up something like, I unlock people and help free them to be themselves.
He told me that he was the CEO of a large company in California and that he had been watching my interactions with my son and dad and was curious to learn more about me. He stated that he saw a Peace in me that he didn’t have. We exchanged information, and a week later,
I connected him to two of our GiANT consultants, Jeff Ridenour and Maria Guy.
This CEO knew he had a problem and his issues pushed him to do the hard work.
Over the next few months, Maria and Jeff began working on the internal unrest occurring in his business. Communication was low, and the relational trust was not strong. This leader needed Peace, and he was willing to do what it took to succeed, which occurred because of his commitment and Maria and Jeff’s expertise.
Success
can’t coexist with unrest.
Naming the Unrest
Peace is hard to achieve. Are you willing to do what needs to happen to find Peace and success in your life? How much do you want to conquer the chaos? If you don’t define success for yourself, someone else will. There is a direct correlation to Peace when expectations are realized. The same is true with unrest. If you are not clear on what winning looks like, you may find yourself feeling flustered when you don’t meet the expectations you didn’t share with others but hold dearly.
It’s time to look firmly at any unrest in your life, taking control of the conflict and creating a plan to alleviate it. It’s time to find your number so that you can go to work on the right things in the right way to improve your Peace and conquer the chaos.
The Number over Your Head
Imagine sitting at your favorite coffee shop and watching people stroll in with a number over their head—like a character in a video game. The number hovers in a circle with either green, yellow, or red numbers depending on the person’s sense of Peace. Some people had a green 85% over their head, some a powerfully positive green 92%, while others have a warning yellow number of 62.5% or worse; a guy walks in with a red-hot colored 40%.
Imagine the numbers figuratively represent how each person is doing at that moment of the day.
In reality, you don’t see a number over people’s heads, but you know it’s there. You can probably guess the number of each member of your family without much effort. People, including you and me, have numbers telling us how at Peace we are or aren’t, and those numbers change every day based on five areas of life. We can go from an 85% on
Monday to a 58% on Wednesday back to a solid 90% by the weekend. Why? Well, that is what this book is about— helping you learn to understand those factors and move them for yourself into healthy green levels.
That is exactly what the Peace Index, the primary tool of this book, will help you do. It will help you assess your level of Peace and the corresponding categories of unrest.
The Reason “How are you?” Doesn’t Work
Virtually every day of my life, I have the same short meaningless conversation with numerous people. I say to Amy at the coffee shop, “Good morning, how are you?” And she may respond, “Good, you?” To which I say, “Great, thanks. Have a good day!”
The truth may have been that Amy was at a 71% (out of 100%) that day because her friend shared some frustrating news about another friend. And me? I may have started my day at an 80% until I received some frustrating information about one of my businesses and I dropped to a 68%.
Our lives fluctuate like the stock market. Outside forces drive our Peace Index up or down. For some of us, we are controlled by our feelings to such a degree that our daily % can feel like a roller coaster, which is an indicator of the chaos in our life. Or the Peace.
