For my hubby who kept asking, âAre you ever going to write about one man and one woman?â Here it is. And football to boot so he should be happy If not, well, I still have lots of other stories containing lots of men
WhenIwas young, Ibelieved myPop Popâs stories aboutlove atfirstsight Now Iâmolder and know better Until she walkedin.SheâseverythingIdidnâtknowIwanted.Iwonherpanties,nowIwantherheart.
Yetwithouther,Iâllneverbethesame Hard Pass is part of the steamy F*** On The Field series and the first book in the More Family Dynasty series where the men and women know who they want and arenât afraid to go after it
Blurb
MASON
âYOU CANâT TELL me that youbelieve Pop Popâs stories about how our familyfinds true love byfeelinglike youâve been kickedinthe chestbya mule whenyoumeetthe one?â Coltonpushes offmybedroomwall andmarches across myroomto stopinfrontofmyface,pushingmeintothedresseratmyback Heâslookingforafightlikeheâsbeendoingforthepastmonth withincreasingfrequency, butIâmnotaboutto give himone. Iâmtired ofthis discussion. Nothingever changes. Besides, I canâtevenmakeupmymindaboutPopPopâsstories
WhenIwas alittlekid,Ibelievedthestories.After all,PopPopandGreatPopPophadall beenextremelyhappywith theirmarriages;theoneswheretheyfeltthatmulekicktotheirchest.AndIâdthoughtIâdfoundmyowntruelovewhenmybest friend, Katy, stood up for me onthe kindergartenplayground For years, Iâd thought sheâd beenthe one Anytime someone mentionedher,orIthoughtabouther,Ihadthosebutterfliesinmychestandmyheartwenthaywire.Butsheneverfeltthesame. Iwasnâtthe one she wanted, leavingme witha brokenheartand somewhatdisillusioned bythe whole idea oftrue love or findingtheone.
âIdo.âAsherpopsupfromwhereheâdsprawledacrossmybed.Wepurchasedanentirehouseforthefourofus mythree cousins and I to live inthis year frompartofthe trustfund givento us whenPop Pop died a few years ago Buttheystill seemedtocongregateinmybedroom.Adefactohangoutplaceeventhoughweoutfittedthelivingroomandgamesroomwith allthetoysaguycouldwant
With Colton and I on the same side, the tension in the room dissipates, most likely Asherâs plan Sometimes the guy unnervedmewithhisunderstandingofthehumanpsyche.Andjustlikethat,Coltonâsmoodswitchesfromlookingforafightto one where youwant to lookover your shoulder or sleep withone eye opento spot his planned prank The twinkle inhis golden-browneyesisadeadgiveaway.
Notwantingtohearabouthislatestconquest,Iripmyt-shirtovermyhead,needingtochangebeforeheadingtotheclub. As Ibend to grab mynew shirtfrommydrawer, Ihear a high-pitched giggle comingfromthe doorway âIfyouoffered me thosemuscles,Liam,maybeIwouldbewillingtoletyousharemenexttime.Youknow,asawaytoenticemeintoblowing yourbuddies.â
âReadyfor tonight?â Will slides behind the wheel of his jacked up pickup whichdropped a little to accommodate his weight.As one ofthe startingdefensive ends ofour Div1football team goMorecambe Falconers he was a bigguy.But thenheâdbeenbigwhenIplayedwithhimduringtheoneyearIspentbackinVoyageurBay,Canada
âFuckno.ButIneedoutofthehouse.BetweenColtondrivingmenutswithallhistalkaboutourPopPopâsstoriesabout mule kicks, Liambringingover fuckbuddies, and Asher tryingto analyse us all â I let myvoice trail off as Will laughs, knowing all about my Pop Popâs stories, having heard them from me when he consoled me over Katyâs lack of returned feelings
Will pressesabuttononthesteeringwheel,turningupthevolumetooneoftheNorwegian-Icelandicgrungemetal bands thathelistensto,knowingthatIdonâtneedhimtorespond.Themusicshouldgivemeaheadache,butinsteadIrelaxintothe familiarityofit Itmightnotbemytypeofmusic,butafterfiveyearsoflisteningtoitwhenIâmkeyeduporfrustrated,itdoes thetrick,lettingmymindwanderandclear.
Wordmusthavespreadonsocialmediathatourfratwouldbeinattendancetonightbecausethelineupoutsidetheclubis filledwithfemaleswearingaslittleaslegallypossible.Thankfullyweâreabletobypasstheline.Aperkofourfratowningthe off-campusclub, The Spot âFuckme.IâmgladIâmDDtonight.â
Ahandwrapsaroundmybiceps,yankingmeintoWillâschest afeatconsideringIâmthirtypoundslighterthanWillâs280 lbs, butmatchhimfor his six-footfour height pressingus so close together thatwe could rub dicks ifwe swungthatway. Tyler,our giantcentre,shoveshisfacebetweenours,yellingsowecanhear him,âMase.Will.Gladyoutwocouldmakeit. Weâreholdingcourtoutbackâ
As we weave throughthe crowd, a teal, skin-tight dress catches myeye, and mychest does this crazylittle thump. But beforeIcanseeanythingmore,Greyson,theMCofourfratandoneofoursafeties,wavesusintotheVIProom,smackingme ontheback.âItâsmyfavouriteTD.Gladyouârehere.âHerubshishandstogether.âLetâsgetthispartyrolling.â
âWelcometothefirstbondingeventoftheyear Youknowthescoregentlemen andIusethattermloosely themanwith the most points at the end of the year wins the coveted Stud Master Trophy.â Cheers fill the room. Nothing like a good competitiontogetthe juices flowing âThe firstcompetitionis the pantysnatchwitha twist Weâre notraidingsome chickâs room;insteadyouneedtogetachickinthisbartowillinglyhandovertheirpanties,leavingthemcommandofortherestofthe night.Andtrustus,weâllknowiftheseoneshavenâtbeenused.Youâvegotonehour.Letthegamesbegin.â
A PINK DRINK toppedwithwhitefrothisshovedinmyface.Mynosescrunches.Iâmnotoneforfrou-froudrinks,butwhenin Morecambe,Alabama...âArenâtyougladwecameearly?â
âYouâre right This place is wowâ IgrinatAlexis, mybestfriend since toddlerhood since our nannies usedto getus together for playdates.Over the years,we remainedclose, attendingthe same boardingschools. Onlycollege separated us, sendingusondifferentpathsbasedonourfamilyhistories
Sheholds upher glass,clinkingitwithmine before addinginthe restofher small groupofsororitysisters.âTotonight. Letâspartyandexperiencelife;startingnextweek,ourfuturesaretakenfromus.â
Withoutstoppingtotakeabreath,Ichugthedisgustinglysweetdrink,placingtheemptyglassonthetable.IyankonAlexisâ hand,towingherbackontothedancefloor Tonight,Iplanonlettinglooseandhavingsomefun AfterthePresentationBall,I will startmyfinal year ofmyhonors ofscience degree and myfirstyear ofmed school news Istill hadnâtbrokento my parents Butunderthebeatofthemusic,allthatstressispushedaside Eventheloomingnoose,danglingovermyheadthatthe PresentationBallrepresented.Marriagewouldbeundermyterms love,notmoneyandstatus andatmyowntime.TheBall wouldnâtchangethat.
Once his gaze rises to meetmine, he grins and nods. Ashotofthe top-shelftequila is needed ifIâmto relaxenoughto undergoallthestupidâsocietywifeclassesâthisweekwithouthavingtodealwithmymom.Shemaylovemeandindulgeme in some ways like spending some family vacations in places I wanted to see there are other things that she didnât compromiseon,andthisisoneofthem.
Theshotslidesacrossthebar,comingtoastopbesidemyhand Withanodofthanks,Ilifttheglasstomymouth,tiltmy head back, and let it flow down my throat. The soft burn is muted by the light hint of vanilla, warming my insides. A psychosomaticresponse,butIswearIcanfeelmymusclesrelaxingasifIsatinfrontofawarmfire Iholdoutmycardtopay asIpickupthebottleofwater,crackingthelid.âThanks.â
Thelevelofnoiseinthebathroomechoeslouderthanthedanceflooranditisjustascrowded Needingtofindsomeplace a little quieter to calmmybrewingheadache, Iturnawayfromthe bar area and find a partiallyopendoor. Ipushit open, findingasmallerroomwherethemusicisquieter volume Icrosstheroomtoclosetheseconddoor,leadingtothemainbar, whenagiantofamanstepsthroughit,blockingtheflashingstrobelights.
âIâminthis pantychallenge and Ineed to geta pair ofpanties froma womanâ His smile reveals a dimple inhis right cheek.Betweenit,hiswarmbreathonmyface,andtheintoxicatingscentwaftingoffhisskin,Istandtheredazed,watchinghis lipsmove â your?â
The roughcallus ona finger,scrapes over the skinofmyarm,sendingtrickles ofelectricitythroughme,makingthe fine hairsonmyarmstand.Itpullsmefrommyfog,groundingme,allowingmetomakesenseofwhathesaid.âDid-didyouaskfor mypanties?â
âYes, fuck, yesâ The rhythmic squeezing of his hands has me riding his face, harder, faster I can feel my orgasm approachinglikeasharkswimmingtowardsprey.TheurgetoscreambuildsinsidemeashedrivesmehigherthanIâveever feltbefore Whenmylegsbegintoshake,andtheurgebecomesoverwhelming,Ireleaseonehand,shovingitintomymouth As theorgasmhits,Ibitedownonthefleshingpartbetweenmythumbandindexfinger,tokeepfromcryingout.
Inod Aschildren,ourparentsallnoddedalongwithPopPopâsmulekicktothechestlovestorieswhenhetoldthemtous, butovertheyears,allourparents exceptforUncleAlexander,whowaitedforthatmulekick,andAuntJillian,Asherâsdad andstep-mom haveeitherdivorcedorseparated WhenIaskedmydadaboutthemulekicktheory,hescoffed,tellingmehe neverbelievedit,choosingtomarrymombecausehethoughthelovedher.UncleLucas Liamâsdad sayshemarriedAunt Isobel because it was expected and not for love, which is why sheâs lived in England for almost twenty years And Aunt KimberlywasinthemiddleofleavingUncleCalebwhenshewaskilledinacaraccident somethingthatColtonrefusesto believeabouthismother,whichiswhyheâsfirmlyagainstthemulekickstories.Hepreferstobelievethathisparentswould havestayedtogethereventhoughUncleCalebtellseveryoneheneverfeltthemulekickandheâswaitingforitbeforemarrying asecondtime.âYouknowthereâsnotalkinghimoutofit.Heâsdesperateforlove.â
âYeah,whichiswhyheâsoutgettinghissuittailored again AndlookingatjewelryâLiamrollshiseyesashecarries hisemptyplatetothedishwasher.
Ichose a longer route that follows one ofthe local rivers, knowingfew people would be one it despite the refreshing, privateswimmingholeabouthalfwaythroughit.Myrewardforrunninginthishumidityandheat.
Musicblaresthroughmyearphones Mypacematchesthepoundingbeat,allowingmymindtoremembereverythingIcould aboutthepreviousnight,includingTinaandhertealdress.WillandIlefttheroomearlytoscopeoutourquarry.Isearchedfor thetealdressfromearlier,buttheclubwasalreadytoocrowdedandnooneelsecapturedourattention,resultinginusheading tothebar.Aftersomeshotsofour1800Silver,wedecidedtoheadbacktotheVIProomforalittlepeaceandquiet.Iblamed the tequila for mynext actions. Yes, Iâd hooked up at parties and bars before, but never withsomeone I didnât know. That
wasnâtmystyle,buttherewassomethingaboutTinaâŠ
Aflashofbrightpinkand teal throughthe trees hidingthe upcomingcurve inthe pathcaptures myattention, makingme wonder who else could be a glutton for punishment and out running today The figure rounds the curve I stumble, nearly faceplantinginthecrushedstoneasherfacecomesintoview.Air.Whatair?Mylungsrefusetoworkasasearingpainslams intomychest,expellingwhatairIhaveleft Am I dying? MyheartjumpserraticallylikeIâvejusttakenahelmettothechest withoutmypadson.OrmaybelikeIâdbeenkickedâŠ
Fuuuuck! Imanage to catchmyselfbefore Ifall to the ground ather feet again Yetevenas Istare ather, Icanâtstop myselffromlickingmylips,rememberinghowshetastes.
Is it hot out here? Iwanttofanmycheeks,coolingthemdownasIcontinuetogazeather Lastnightshelookedamazing withher strawberryblondhair hanginginbeachywaves downher back,buttoday,withher hair pulledbackintoaponytail with little curly tendrils escaping and plastered to the side of her head gorgeous Even better than Katy did in her cheerleadinguniformwhenIâdbeenheadoverheelsforher.
Thequiveringofher chestdrawsmygaze Thetopsofher perkybreastswhichInever evenmanagedagoodlookatthe night before bounce in her sports bra. And below it, but above her tight, running shorts, I see the hints of her abdominal muscles Themixofstrengthandsoftnessmakesmeanythingbut
âDoesthatmeanyouârenewhere?âNotthatIwouldworryaboutwhatyearshewasin,butbeingafreshmanwouldadda few complicationstoalong-termrelationship Holy fuck What am I thinking? Long-term relationship? CouldIactuallybe thinking like I believe Pop Popâs stories? That sheâs the one? Yet when she shakes her head and my heart clenches at the implication,Iknowitâstrue.AndifsheâsonlyvisitingthenIneedtomakesomefastmoves.Anythingtokeepherfromleaving withoutknowingme.
Sheshiesawayfrommealittleinembarrassment,butIpullonherhand,releasingherpinkietoentwineourfingers.âItâs rare, butIwas accepted to med school after completelythree years ofmydegree.â She shrugs. âIwanted to do the honors projectsoIaskedthemifIcoulddobothandtheyârelettingmeâ
Her words strike a chord,makingme realize how Icouldhave mistakenmyfeelings for Katyfor solong.Icouldeasily hearsimilarwordscomingfromKatyâsmouth.KatyâsgivinghearthadalwaysbeenoneofthethingsthatIlovedabouther.To findthosesamequalitiesinTina perfect Itwasliketheirsoulswerenearlyidentical Onlymyattractiontoandeasewith TinaoutstrippedthefamiliarityIâdhadwithKaty.
As we continued to walk, the passionshe has for the subject shows as she continues to explainher plans The idea of setting up a free clinic, doing prenatal care, self defense classes, nutrition classes, food shares, the ideas and plans were endless.Sowhensheaskswhatmyfutureplansare,fearandworryfillsme.WillshethinkIâmsayingthesethingstoimpress her? That Iâmtakingbusiness and marketingalongwitha few social workclasses to aid inmydreamofworkingwiththe homeless.Tofindthemappropriatesheltercontainsthesupporttheyneedtobecomeasproductiveastheycan.Orwillshesee
WITH EACH WORD hespeaksaswewalk,itfeelslikewehavenâtjustmet.Ifeelsocomfortablewithhim,likeheâsalwaysbeen apartofmylife.Sowhenhestartsaskinggetting-to-know-youquestionslikefavoritecolor,food,etc,itâsjarring,reminding me thateventime seems strange Itreminds me ofa phrase inmyfavorite bookseries whenIwas growingup Inthe Anne seriesbyL.M.Montgomery,shetalksaboutpeoplewhofeel this,whoseemtohaveaconnectionthatdefiestimeandspace. She calls themâthe race thatknows Josephâ And thatâs exactlyhow Ifeel As ifweâve beenlovers and friends throughout time, reincarnated into this presentlife. Aheadythoughtfor me since Ithinkpredestinationand reincarnationis completely illogical.
Cool down I know exactly what thatâs like Theheatandhumiditymakemehot,butitâs nothingcomparedtohow Ifeel right this second. With his arms around me, my body is heating for a completely different reason. One that made me step completelyoutofmycomfortzonethenightbefore Andashelowersmetotheground,ensuringIfeeleachoneofhismuscles andthelargebulgebetweenhismuscularthighsonthewaydown,IfeellikeIâmonfire.âItâssafe?â
Butwhentheblond,all-American,boynextdoorbeforemereachesforthewaistbandofhisshortsandstartstopushthem down, I lose all control of my muscles. My mouth pops open and I spin around, falling to the ground. âWh-what are you doing?â
âCoolingdownwithadip.Coming?âIhearthemirthandthechallengeinhisvoiceasmymindspinsoutofcontrol,filling inpossibledetailsofwhathewashidingunder thoseshorts YetevenasIwonder ifIcouldpossiblygather upthenerveto skinny dip, I find myself unhooking the clasp and then unzipping my sports bra to remove it. I rationalize my actions by remindingmyselfthatheâsalreadyseenmymoreintimateparts,alreadytastedthemevenasanotherpartofmybrainscreams howithadbeendark,weâdbeendrinkingalcohol.
Heatfromhis bodywarms mybackas his breathbrushes over myshoulders. âNo one butme. Itâs too hotfor people to comeallthiswaywhentherearecloserplacestocooldownâ
Ashudderrushesdownmyspinewhenhishandsbrushthebareskinofmywaist.Unlikehim,mymusclesaresoft,making me wanttosuckinmynon-existentguteventhoughIknow his gaze is onmyboobs Witheachstutteringbreath,mynipples tighten,beggingtobetouched.Ihearhimswallow,feelhimshiver,andthenreleaseme,brushingpastmeashejogstotheside ofthe swimminghole. His butt muscles clench, and his hamstrings bulge as he jumps. Iscramble to remove the rest ofmy
Somethinggrabs myankle, pullingme down Isqueakouta squeal before water chokes itoff, coveringmyhead again Throughthewater,IseeMaseâsgrinningfaceashisarmswraparoundme,haulingmebacktothesurface.
âYouassâIswathischestasItrytodealwithmyflusteredhormones Betweenthewarmthofhisskinpressingdelectably against my bare chest and my wet backside cooling from the slightest breeze, my body vibrates from the mixed signals. Goosebumpsraiseonmyskinasmyneedle-likenipplesdriveintohim âIthoughtsomethingwasinthewaterwithusâ
Myinitialresponseistoscoffatthecheesyline,butwhenIstareintohisdarkenedeyes,Iseehow seriousheis.Itâsthe onlyreasonIcanthinkofforwhyIleanin,pressingmylipstohis,feelingtheirfirmnessandwarmth Iknewmyparentsloved meandinmorethanatheoretical senseunlikeother friends intheir social circles.Wespenttimetogether.Wewentontrips together Yetitnever looked like whatIwatched onTVor inthe movies Nor did itresemble how some ofmyclassmates talkedabouthowtheirfamiliesinteractedwitheachother.TheproofwasinmyreasonforbeinginMorecambe.Whiletheylet metakethecoursesIwantedatuniversity,IhadnochoicewhenitcametoattendingthePresentationBall.Onlyanengagement would have kept me fromtakingpart inthe added festivities, but attendance at the Ball was mandatoryto receive mytrust funds.
For a splitsecondhe doesnâtmove as ifIâve shockedhim Istarttopull away,thinkingIâve misreadeverything,buthis griponmywaisttightensasonehandslidesupmybacktocradlemyheadashedeepensthekiss,slippinghistongueintomy mouth,fillingitwiththetasteofbittercoffee NotatasteIusuallyenjoyed,needingmycaffeinetobesweetenedwithtonsof sugarifitcameincoffeeform,butonhim,Iwanttodrinkitallup.
âFuck. Iâve wanted to do that and so muchmore since last night.â He licks his lips, sendingthose achingflutters deep withinme âYourtastehashauntedmeallnight Ialmostdidnâtevenbrushmyteeththismorning,worriedIâdloseitâ âThenmaybeyoushouldhaveanothertaste.âMyeyeswidenasthewordscomeoutofmymouth. What type of magic has Mase weaved over me? Making me say and do things I normally wouldnât Yetsomehow,Idonâtseemtocareaboutfinding ananswer.
Ishouldbefullysated.Twogiantorgasmsnowafteroneamazingonelastnight,butIâmnot.Iâmeagerformore,tofeelhim fill me up Iyankonhis hair, tryingto pull himhigher up mybody, wantinghimwhere Icankiss him, feel his entire body againstmine.âPlease.â
Draggingeachinchofhisgloriousbodyovermine,hecomplieswithmybreathlessbegging,triggeringallsortsoffeelings withinmyoverstimulated nervous system. âIs this whatyouwant?â He rubs his hardness over myclit, makingme gasp as a newwaveofpleasurerollsoverme.Hedoesitagainandagain,watchingmeasIwritheunderhim,wantingmore.âFuck.âHe
Thatis all ittakes to breakthroughanyhesitationhe mighthave felt. Witha simple shiftofhis hips, he drives into me, stretchingme, fillingme as Icollapse backonthe ground Witheachdrive into me, the small rocks, the clumps ofdirt, the sharpnessofthebladesofgrassonlyheightenmypleasure,groundingmewhenIbegintosoaraway. This isnât a dream. Itâs real, Iremindmyself,notevencaringifIwerelying Itâsthatgood
MY LIPS LIFT into a smile as I stare at the message onthe phone. Mylatest fromTina. Asnarky, insightful comment about womenprimpingandprostitutingthemselves like dolls toattracta manwhentheycouldputthattime andeffortintoearning their ownmoney, standingontheir ownfeet Ibite backa laughas Iremember havingsimilar thoughts whenfaced withthe womenthrowingthemselvesatmebasedoneithermylastnameormyNFLprospects.
Chuckles escape mymouth. Coltonhad beenmoodier thana womanPMSing. The closer we came to tonight, the more irritablehebecame,bouncingbetweenextremehappinessandtrepidation IknowthoseemotionswellbecauseIfeelthemtoo, butnotallbasedontonightlikehis.MyhappinesscomesfromTina.Everymemoryofourtwotimestogetherinpersonandall themessagingbackandforthfillmewithmorejoythanIâveeverhad YetthemomentIhavetimetothink,worryaboutwhen sheâsleavingandwhatIwilldothenifshestopstalkingtome,fillsme.
Themessagesgivemeagreaterinsightintowhosheis,souldeep,andeachcommonalitywefindorexcitementabouteach otherâs lives, draws us closer together, weaving our soul strands into a tapestry of love Yeah, love Turns out Pop Popâs storiesaretrue,nomatterhowmuchItrytodenyit.AndIkeepdrivingmyselfcrazy,worriedabouthowsheâdreactifItold herhowIfeelafterknowingherforlessthanaweek
AsIpulloutthecufflinksfrommytopdrawerinthedresserandfastenthemtomyshirt,Igrinevenastheybickerbehind me LeaveittoAshertocompletelyignorethecommentabouthisdadandstepmomandthemulekickfeeling Butthenagain,I wasignoringitaswell.IwanttotellthemaboutTina,abouthowIfeelabouther,butIwanttokeepitasecretalittlelonger. Yet the longer I wait, IâmlettingColtonwalk no, run into future heartache because he doesnât feel the same wayabout Chrissythat I do Tina. And I hate that. I never want mycousins to feel the emotional hurt that I did over Katyif I cando somethingtopreventit.
âThengrab mygarbage canbecause itâs worse thanthat.â Liamrolls his eyes as he flops backonmybed. Ipull up my oversizedjockstrapandjumpindespiteLiamâsattitude.âPopPopâsstoriesaretrue.Imetsomeonetheothernightandthought
Ileanagainstmydresser and shrug. âIâll give youthat. IthoughtKatywas the one for a longtime, butIwas confusing gratitudeandasibling-likebondwithromanticlove Withher itwaslikeIfeel withyou,butall thatpalesincomparisonto whatIfeelnow.â
WithMimi onmyarm, we walkinto the giant ballroom. Large crystal chandeliers hangfromthe ceiling, addingto the overabundance of glitz surroundingus If the Palace of Versailles and BuckinghamPalace could have a spoiled child, this wouldbeit.ButeventheridiculousdisplayofwealthisnâtmyissuewiththeBall,insteaditâsthereasonbehindit.Tonightis allaboutmakingthosefirststepstofindasuitablemarriagepartner.Onewhocouldhelpwiththefamilybusinesses.Itâswhy PopPophatedtheseevents,butitwaspartofwhowewere,partofourhistory NotthatPopPoporMimiwouldeverforceus tomarrysomeonewemetheresincePopPopandMimiheldfasttothemulekicktheory,butpressurefromoutside,fromthe peopleinthisroom,wouldweighheavilyonus ItâswhyUncleCalebandUncleLucasmarriedwomentheymetattheseBalls, the gatherings ofpeople runninginsimilar societies. Itâs also where Uncle ZansleptwithAsherâs birthmother. OnlyUncle Benjaminandmydadnevermarriedwomenfromhere Dadjumpedatthechancetomarrymombeforehisbachelorattendance wasmandatoryandUncleBenjamintoldMimithathecouldnâtpossiblyleavetheranchhewasrunningforthefamilytoattend theBalls.Ithadbeenmyplantopullthesamestuntinacoupleofyears,havingAlabamahostitputacrimpinmyplans.
Mimipatsmyhand,grabbingmyattention Ileandowntohearherovertheorchestraonlytohaveherkissmycheekbefore she walks away,over toa groupofsilver hairedladies wearingenoughsparklingjewels tocompete withthe chandeliers.I knowwhatshewantsmetodo,towanderaroundandtalktotheeligiblewomen,butIneedadrink orfour beforeIcando thatwithasmile.Isnagaglassofchampagneoffatrayfromacirculatingwaiter.Itâsnotmyfavoritebyalongshot,butitâs probablymybestbet.Icanâtdrinkitfastorenoughofittogetdrunk,butitwillrelaxme.
As Istartto moseyaround the room, Ipatmypocket, feelingmycell phone. Itâs beenhours since mylastmessage from Tina and Iâm missing the interaction. Yet even without anything new from her, just carrying my phone and her previous messagesfillsmewithhopeandeageranticipation Anothervicetogetmethroughalltheinaneconversationsfromthewomen wantingtomarryme.Atleastmostofthemhavefathersorbrotherswhofollowfootball,givingussomethingmoresubstantial tospeakabout
Aflashofteal lacecatchesmyeye,immediatelyremindingmeofTinaandthedresssheworetotheclub.Thestylesare completelydifferent,butthisdress,despiteitsfloor-lengthwithatrain,bythetimeitreachesthewomanâsass,itâsformfitting. AndtheasstriggersmorememoriesofTina.Butitâsthestrawberryblondhairpulledupintoaneleganthairdothatpunchesmy chest. It canât be⊠can it?
She turns, gaze landingonme, makingher eyes wideninsurprise before a real smile one she always wears whenshe looksatme gracesherface.Withoutthinkingorevenmakingmyapologies,Istrideawaymidconversation,needingtobeby herside Itakeherhandinmine,liftingittomylipswheremytonguedartsoutduringthekiss,tastingherskin Instantcarnal memoriesfloodmysystemandIthankmydadfortellingmetohavemytuxpantstailoredinawaytohidepossibleerections. Ifnot,everyonewouldknowwhatisgoingoninmymindasIlookather.âTina?Whatareyoudoinghere?â
Under her perfectlyapplied makeup, her cheeks flushand her eyes darkenwithdesire as her gaze roams over mybody Outsideofourtwoin-personmeetings,themessagestendtobestrictlyPG,butsomehaveventuredinXratedterritory,fueling thevisionsinmyhead AndifIâmreadingherbodylanguagecorrectly,sheâsthinkingaboutthemtoo âM-Mase?What?Ho â
Her eyes widenandher face turns white as she looks oftomyside.Ispina little,partiallyblockingher fromwhatever causedherfear.Mystomachtightensanddrops,makingmefeelsick.
âMason IâmsogladyouâvemetCrissyâColtonstepsupbesideme,sportingthelargestsmileonhisface Shit! Fuck! Nooo. This canâtbe happening.Tina or shouldIsayChrissy looks how Ifeel,greenaroundthe gills and readytothrowupashisgazebouncesbetweenColtonandme Shelicksherlipsandswallows Eachactionremindsmeofour timetogetherwhichiscrazyconsideringtheawkwardsituation.
âItâs actuallyChristinaâ The freezingtone inher voice should be myfirstclue, butwhenshe pulls her hand frommine, breakingthe one piece of contact thatâs holdingmyworld together, I crumble inside. She stiffens her spine. âA-and youâre Mason,MasonMore.Ishouldhaveknown.âHervoicecracksandIswearIseetheglimmerofunshedtearsinhereyesasshe spinsonherheels,liftingthefrontofherdressandracesfromtheroom,takingmyheartwithher
I CLUTCH mychestas Idartinto a small emptyroombefore collapsingagainstthe wall. Mybreaths come inragged pants. I wrapmyarmstighteraroundme,tryingtoholdmybrokenhearttogether.ThishadbeenthelastplaceIwantedtobetonight. Instead,Iwantedtobecurledupinmycomfyclothes,phoneinhand,talkingtohim Mase themanIthinkIamfallingin lovewith.
âOh, Godâ The crytears frommylips Ithink, no, Iknow Ilove him and now itâs over as surelyas Iknow myown name.IcouldseeitinhisgazewhenhelookedatmewithhorrortheminuteColtonshowed.
Fuck. Ofall the guys Icould have methere, Ihad to meetColtonâs cousin. Ibangmyhead againstthe wall. Colton, my friend and confidant throughout school We didnât attend the same boardingschool, but we attended brother/sister ones and overtheyears,westruckupaclosefriendship.Hebecamemyconfidentwhenbadthingshappened,whenthegirlsbulliedme because Iwas a late bloomer or whenthe firstguyIsleptwithtold everyone how horrible Iwas He was mycomfortand strength.Iâddoanythingforhim,andhimme.Itâswhyhewasmyback-upplan.
PartoftherulesformyvarioustrustfundswerethatIneededtoattendthePresentationBallstartingatagetwenty-one And ifIwasnâtengagedbytwenty-five,Iâdlose halfthe money.NotthatIcare aboutthe money,butIhave plans for it.Mytrust fundsaregoingtostartmyhealthclinics,hirestaff,purchasemedications,andanythingelseIneedtospenditontohelpthose inneed ButIdonâtwanttogetmarried Notnow whenIstill have somanyyears ofschoolingandtrainingleft Andnotto somepretentiousassholeliketheonesIknowruninthesecircles.
ColtonandIspokeaboutthisalotwhilegrowingup Iknew allabouthisfamilylifeandthestorieshisPopPopusedto tell him. And like him, Iâd scoffed at them, promisinghimthat we would help eachother out whenthe time came. And if needed,weâdgetengagedtofulfillourfamilyobligations
âChrissy.Thereyouare.âColtonstormsintotheroom.Angerflowsoffhiminwaves. Fuck. He knows about me and Mase and heâs mad I broke my promise to him⊠with his cousin. Yetwhenhewrapshisarmsgentlyaroundme,Irealizeitâsnotme heâsangryat,confusingme âIdonâtknow whatMasonsaidtoyou,butIcanimagine,andIâll kill himforyouâHerubshis thumbundermyeye,dryingupacoupleoftearsIhadnâtrealizedIshed.âDonâtlethimruinthisnightforus.â
Iwrap myarms around one ofmybestchildhood friends and relaxinto his comfortable embrace, needingthe safetyhe represents.ItâsafamiliarspotformeasIspentmanyeveningsthiswayasIcriedoverthingspeoplesaidtomeorthingsother guysdidtome.Throughitall,ColtonwastherejustlikeIwasforhim.
Hiswordssurpriseme DoeshereallythinkIâmabouttowalkintheretowatchwomenfawnall overMason?All week longduringthestupidclasses,Ihadtolistentotheothernew girlsdiscussingtheeligiblebachelors.Somanyofthemtalked aboutMason,aboutall therumorstheyheard,aboutthethingstheyknew inthehopestoattracthiseye Andall thattimeIâd beenchucklingtomyself,sendingMasemythoughtsontheirdiscussions,neverrealisingherhewastheonetheyspokeof. Fuck. How could Ihave beenso stupid? YetIcouldnâtblame myselffor notseeingitearlier. Mase seemed so different fromMason.Masewaswarmandcomforting,safe;whiletheMasontheyspokeofwascool,aloof,anddangerouswhenriled up.Notina physical sense atleastfor females since Iâdheardstories abouthow he was a beastonthe field buttoyour emotionsandself-esteem Hewasnâtaboveevisceratingawomanwhopushedhisboundariestoofar âChrissy?â
âUm, no.â Thereâs no way Iâmgoing back in. Iâmnot putting myself in the position of being in the line of fire of the
legendaryMason.No,Iwanttogohomeandhibernate,locktheworldawayasIdealwithmygrief.Coltonmaynotbelievein his Pop Popâs stories, but I do. I felt that mule kick. And even if Mason refuses to believe the stories after his earlier heartbreak IrememberColtonmentioningitinpassingbutnothingabouttheactualrelationship Iknow heistheone That noonewillevercompare.ThatâswhatIneedtomourn,howImayendupinasatisfactoryrelationshipinthefuture,butitwill benothingcomparedtowhatIcouldhavehad
âWhat? No. Youdonâtunderstand.â Ipull myhand fromhis. The comfortofhis touchhas disappeared under his singlemindedfocusofreturningustotheBall.âIâmnotgoingbackinthere.Iâmgoingbacktomyhotel.â
Theseverityofhisanger andhiswordsbreakthroughthebrokenheartfogIâmin For all thatIâmaccusinghimofinmy head,aboutnotpayingattentiontomeandmyfeelings,IrealiseIâmdoingthesametohim.âWhatdoyoumeanâtousâ?â
IdonâtgiveColtonanytimetoquestionmeormystatementasIpickupmydressandracefromtheroom.ThelastthingI wantto do rightnow is to tell Coltonaboutmytime withhis cousin And after stickingup for him, ifIstayaround, Colton wonâtletmeleavewithouttellinghimeverything.
Usingthe knowledge I gained this week, findinglittle hiddenhideaways fromwhere I canmessage Mase Mason in peace,Iescapethebuilding,findingawaitingdriverandlimofromtheMorecambeResortandSpa.âBacktoresort,please.â
âYes,MissSwanson.âThedriverclosesthedoorafterme.IfeelmycellphonebuzzwiththespecifictoneIsettoMaseâs messages Withanachingheartand a shakinghand, Ipull itoutofmycleverlyhiddenpocket WhenIsee his name onthe screen,Ibitemylip.DoIwanttohearfromhim?AmIreadytohearhimsayhowhecanâtstandme,howthiswasallajoke liketheguywhoIgavemyvirginitytodid?YetevenasIthinkthosethoughts,somethinginsidemearguesback,tellingmethat Maseisnâtlikethat.AndbeforethiseveningIwouldnâthavethoughtso.Now,Iâmnotsosure.
This week has been the best week of my life I never wanted to go to the club that night, but now Iâm forever grateful because I met the love of my life Spending time with you has changed me in ways that you canât even imagine Because of you, I think that Iâll be a better man. Aman worthy of someone who has as much passion and compassion for others as you do
In case, I didnât make it clear. I love you. Am in love with you.
But so is Colton Youâre all he talks about And I can never stand in his way My only consolation is that I know that heâll take care of you and everything to make you happy. So this is goodbye⊠for now. After all, Iâll still attend your wedding if youâll have me. And I promise to be on my best behaviour there, knowing that you â re happy
Henods,callstheplay,andwesmackeachotheraswelineup.KyshoveshishandsbetweenTylerâslegs,restingtheback ofhishandagainstTylerâsass,readytocatchtheball âForty-eight Sixty-four Hut Hut Hutâ
Itake off,racingthroughthe openingbetweenthe Defensive EndandRob.He moves tocutme off,butItwistmybody, avoidinghistackleasIchuckle Somuchforcomingatme IrefrainfromrollingmyeyesasIheadtowardtheSafety Ifeintto theright,buthestayswithme.Itrytheleftandhehesitatesforafractionofasecond,butitâsenough.Iopenthegapandreach upasIturnmybodyalittle Kyâsperfectspiralflies,headingdirectlytome Ijumpalittle,catchingtheball,pullingitintomy bodyto protectitas Isee the other linebacker and safetyrushtoward me. Buttheyâre too late. Iland withinfeetofthe end zone.Threerunningstepslater,Icross.Touchdown.Ispiketheball,starttodomyasswigglewhenmyteammatesjumponme. ThisTD,mythirdofthegame,putsusthirtypointsaheadhalfwaythroughthefourth ThereâsnohopeforFloridaA&Mnow NotthattherehadbeenbeforethisTD,butnowitâscemented.Weâre4-0.
Thegameendsandtheteamcelebrates,bouncingaround,highfiving,slappingeachotherontheassorback,andshouting injoyas we headtothedressingroom.Iâmthe onlyone notparticipatinginall the revelrywhichis probablywhyWill hip checksmeaswestarttotearoffthemuddy,sweat-soakedjerseys.âYouâvebeenabeastonthefieldlately.Whatâsup?â
âYeah, not good enough.â He follows me into the shower room where the sound of the water and the echoes of the continuouscelebrationsgivesmeareprievefromWillâsexaminationandprodding,butIknow itwill beshort-lived,forcing metospeedupmypostgamerituals.
Bythetimewereachourroominthehotel,Willâsvibratingfromhisneedtodigintomypsyche,tofindoutwhyIâvebeen avoidinghimlike mycousins.Aneasyfeatsince we didnâtshare anyclasses andmanyofour practices were special teams only,keepingusondifferentpracticeandgymschedules.NorwasheabletocornermeafterourlasttwohomegamessinceI managedtoslipaway,rentingaroomintheMorecambeResortandSpaonthoseweekends âWhatthefuckisgoingon?âHecrosseshismassivearms,nearlypoppingtheseams. Theideaoftalkingaboutwhathappenedmakesmesicktomystomach ItâswhyIhavenâtbeenhome Idonâtwanttosee thepityinglooksonLiamandAsherâsface.NordoIwanttoseeadeliriouslyhappyColton.AndhewillbehappybecauseI know how happy I was after spending only a little time with her. If she was to be my wife, Iâd never stop smiling. Plus
âI know.â I hang my head, pulling on the ends of my hair with my hands. Itâs tearing me up inside. The idea that her relationshipwithColtonwillcrashandburnlikemyparentsâdid,orLiamâs,orevenColtonâs.Itâsthatthoughtthatfreaksme out Coltonâs mom, Kimberly, died, tryingto leave Caleb Yes, itwas anaccident Uncle Caleb had nothingto do withher deathoreventhecauseofit,buttothinkthesamethingcouldhappentoTina,thatherlifecouldendinaninstant,thattheworld wouldbedeprivedofherpassion,herjoy,hercompassion,leftmecold
âFuck.Idonâtknow.Coltonâsbeensoeagertofindlove.HeâstalkedabouthisbestfriendChrissyonandoffforyears,but untilthiswholeBallthingcameup,Ineverguessedtherewasanythingmorethanacrush possiblyonlyonhisside between themâ
MY ASS DRAGS asIpickupmylaptopfrommydesktableinthelecturehallattheendofmyPrinciplesofClinicalMedicine1 class.Itâsbeenaroughalmosttwomonthssincethenightwheremylifeimploded.NotonlyamIstilldealingwith ormore like denying the consequences of that night, but Iâve been playing catch-up with the weekâs worth of classes I missed, continuingto stayontrackwithreadings and assignments for mycurrentclasses, and spendinghours doingresearchfor my thesisproject
Atleasttodayis Fridayand theoreticallyIshould be able to resta little this weekend, catchingup onall the sleep Iâve missed.Aniceidea,sincesleepandIarenâtonspeakingterms.EverytimeIclosemyeyes,Iseehim.SeeMason heâsno longerMaseinmyheadbecausethathurtswaytoomuchtothinkofhimthatway Iseethewayhiseyeslookedatmewhilewe splashedaroundintheswimminghole.Iseethewaytheysoftenedwhenhelistenedtomespeakaboutmyhopesanddreams.I seethewaytheyflashedwithsurpriseandawewhenhesaw mestandingthereattheBall ButIalsoseethedisgustinthem whenherealizedwhoIwas.
Toobaditâsnotjustmysleepbeingaffected Iusedtoenjoyunwindingbyrelaxinginanicebubblebathwhilereadinga romancebookanddrinkingaglassofwine.Nowthecaressofthewatermakesmethinkofthewayhishandsskatedoverme. The calluses from catching footballs, reminding me with each touch that it was a man and not my imagination. Yet my imaginationisallIhaveleft
âOh.â What is left of my battered and torn heart bottoms, making me ill. How could I have forgotten that it was this weekend Iâdplannedonbeingfar,farawayfromhereandnowitâstoolatetoleave Westepoutsidethebuildingintoamobof footballsupporters,holdingupeffigysignscontainingphotosofvariousMorecambeplayers.Andofcourse,becausemyluck hasbeensoperfectlately,Icomeface-to-facewithagiantpictureofMasonâssmilingface Mybrainignoresthetrashwritten onthesignandIfilteroutthehornsdrawnonhishead.Instead,Iâmpulledintohiseyes.TheonesthatlookedatmeasifIwas themostimportantthingintheworldtohim.Mybreathcatches.Ithrow outanarmtokeepmeuprightasmykneesbeginto shake,notwantingtoholdupmyweight.
âAre youokay?â Kylie grabs me, holdingme up. âLetâs getyousittingdown.â She begins to tow me to the side where bencheslinethepath âDidyoueattoday?Feelingfaint?Dizzy?âShecontinuestorattleoffquestions,makingmesmileatthe obviousfactweâremedstudents.
âIâmgood Iate,andIâmnotfaintordizzy,juststumbledonsomethingâItrybrushingheroff,butIcanseebythelookin her eyes that sheâs not fullybuyingmyexcuse. Ihavenât told her what happened inMorecambe, but Iâmsure sheâs already figuredoutthatsomethingdid.Iâvekeptitallquiet,bottledupinsideofme,thinkingifIdidnâtsaythewordsthenitcouldnâtbe true.NotevenColtonâsbeenabletopryitoutofmefromthefewmessagesIâvesenthimdespiteallthetimesheâsasked.But the one thingI did tell himwas that I was releasinghimfromour plan. After realizingfromMasonâs note that Coltonhad plannedtomarryme,hadtoldothers,IknewIcouldnâtgothroughwithit Notevenfortheextramoneythatwouldbereleased intomytrustfunds.TheonlypersonIcouldseemyselfwithwasMasonandthatwasnolongerinthecards. âTina?â
âWow, Chrissy. Youlooklike shit.â Coltonclaps his hands as he barges into mysuite. âTimeâs a wastinâ. Hop into the shower.Kickoffâsinjustunderanhour.â
He doesnât give me time to argue further, pickingme up and carryingme to the bathroomwhere he deposits me bythe shower.AsIstandthere,heturnsitonbeforeturningbacktome.âStripandgetinorIâlldoitforyou.âHemeetsmyglarebut softenshisgaze.âPlease.Heâslostwithoutyou.â
Ipullonhisarm âIâmsorryforrunningawaylikeIdid AndIâmsorryforcuttingyouout Ijustcouldnât â He puts his fingers across mylips, shuttingme up. âIknow. And for whatitâs worthIâve alreadyapologized to himfor someofthethingsIsaidtohim.ButIneedtoknowonethingâŠdoyoulovehim?â
HeholdsouthisrighthandandIputmyshakinghandinhisasIbitemylip.Everywordfromhisletter runsthroughmy mind. Inever thought after receivingit, after seeingthe lookonhis face whenhe realized who Iwas, that Iâd ever get the chancetotouchhimagain.AsmuchasIwanttosaysomething,Icanâtseemtogetmymouthtowork.
Itâs crazy. Itâs absurd. Weâve only known each other for a short time and fromthat week together, we spent most of it messagingeachother.ButIknowthatmylifechangedforeverthatnightintheclub.Whatwasoncedarknessspreadbeforeme wasfilledwithlight,laughter,andlove ThingsIknowbetterthantotossawaybecauseconventionsaiditwastoosoon After all,Iâdlivedthesepasttwomonthswithoutit.
âYesâ
Thank you for reading Hard Pass Want to read more about the More Family? Preorder Gilded Rose, featuring Masonâs Great-Uncle Levi
Want to read more football stories? Preorder Willâs story in Foul Ball, part of the Morecambe Falconers Football series Wanttofindoutmore?ConsiderjoiningTBMannâsnewsletterandnevermissoutonanupcomingreleaseorbonusscenes.
Asa self-proclaimeddescentofmermaidsandselkies,she lovestobreathe insaltair,watchthe wavesrollin,anddiphertoesintothe water Whensheâsnotdoing that hopefullyonsomeCaribbeanbeach sheâswatchinghockey,someothersportingevent,attendingatheatricalormusicalperformance,orwatchingtelevisionwitha bookonherlap
Life hasnâtalways beeneasy,butlike her books,she believes thatthe love andsupportof familyandfriends canallow youtodoanythingwhether the familyis by bloodorbychoice
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