The Durango Telegraph - April 30, 2026

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elegraph

Grade grubbing Meet the candidates

An end-of-year masterclass in academic deflection

LPEA hopefuls sound off on co-op’s next chapter

Art in motion

Bikes, creativity unite for offbeat art show, event

Excuses, excuses

From eight dead grandparents to runaway lizards, a masterclass in academic deflection by Addyson Santese

Planting 1 million trees to cool low-income neighborhoods in a desert city by Karen Mockler / Writers on the Range

LPEA hopefuls sound off on transparency, affordability and renewables by Missy Votel

Local cycling icon channels bike culture into curated art show, event by Jennaye Derge

On the cover Giving new meaning to “rock art” while exploring Utah’s North Caineville Mesa, outside of Torrey./ Photo by Andy High

A golden blonde

Turns out, blondes do have more fun, or at least they get more awards. Last week, Ska Brewing won the gold medal for its True Blonde Ale in the English-Style Pale Ale category at the 2026 World Beer Cup. This is the third win for the Blonde at the World Beer Cup, held in Philadelphia on April 22 and pegged as one of the world’s most prestigious beer competitions.

For Ska, this win is especially meaningful. True Blonde has been one of the brewery’s flagship beers since day one, with the first two kegs ever brewed poured at the second annual Telluride Brewer’s Festival in September 1995. “This one means a lot,” Ska cofounder Dave Thibodeau said in a news release. “True Blonde was where it all started for us. It was the first beer we ever brewed, and to see it win World Beer Cup gold 31 years later is incredibly rewarding.”

Ska’s True Blonde was one of 77 beers entered in the English-Style Pale Ale category and among 8,166 entries across 118 categories with 1,644 breweries from 50 nations. Organized by the Brewers Association, this marked the competition’s 30th year recognizing the best of the wrold’s beer and cider. Entries were evaluated by an international panel of 255 judges in a blind taste test.

True Blonde has a slew of other medals in the Ska trophy case, including five Great American Beer Festival medals, a European Beer Star and multiple recognitions from the Good Food Awards.

Ska wasn’t the only Colorado brewery that judges tipped their glasses to. In all, Colorado brewers amassed 26 medals this year, including four gold, up from 21 medals in 2025.

The winningest Colorado outfit was Denver’s River North Brewery, which won gold in the coffee beer category and silver in the coffee stout and pumpkin spice categories.

TAlso of note, Colorado dominated the competition’s most competitive category, West Coast-style IPA. Out of 293 entries, gold was awarded to Golden’s Cannon Ball Creek Brewing, and silver went to Crystal Springs Brewing, in Louisville. Telluride Brewing Co. also won silver in the American brown ale category for its Face Down Brown.

LaVidaLocal

Grade grubbing

Hey prof,

I just checked my grade for the first time this semester and saw that I have a 57% in your class. Despite only attending half the lectures and failing to submit practically any work, this came as a shock to me. You see, I’ve had a bit of a rough semester. In a tragic freak accident that occurred exactly 12 minutes before I was going to walk into our final exam, all eight of my grandparents died. Yeah, you read that right. Eight. After the divorce, both of my parents remarried, so I ended up with four grandmas and four grandpas. Obviously, I had a pretty tough home life (vis-à-vis the whole broken home/double stepparent situation), and I think, on principle, that entitles me to at least a baseline B- in your class. Holidays were hard, okay? And then Grandma, Grammy, Granny, MawMaw, PawPaw, Pops, Grandpa and Grandpappy all up and died! I’d really rather not discuss the nature of their passing since it’s still pretty fresh, and I haven’t hammered out all the details yet.

I’m also concurrently grieving the loss of my pet chameleon, Chameleonardo DiCaprio. Unlike all of my grandparents, he’s not dead. I just can’t find him. Chameleonardo DiCaprio has a bad habit of shirking his emotional support lizard duties by escaping from his reptile tank every two to four weeks, or whenever my roommate forgets to close the tank lid after feeding him Cheeto puffs. The last time Chameleonardo got loose, I was so besotted with grief, I couldn’t attend a single one of your classes until he was found 18 days later, his weird little lizard mittens clamped around one of my drumsticks. Recognizing his innate musical talent, I naturally had to pick up my guitar and join him. That jam session lasted another 18 days.

At this point, I know what you’re probably thinking. Even if I hadn’t missed the final exam, that wouldn’t make a difference because I didn’t submit almost any other work throughout the entire semester, blah, blah, blah. (I’d make a Charlie Brown teacher voice joke here, but since I’m Gen Z, I don’t get the reference.) What matters is that I COULDN’T submit any of the homework! An extremely localized EMP completely wiped out all internet connections at literally only my home address, in my bedroom, for precisely 3.5 months. The government officials who were sent to investigate were stupefied. And don’t even get me started on what happened before that.

Back when my computer still worked and wasn’t obliterated by what was likely Russian cyber terrorism, every time I saved a homework file, it completely disappeared into the ethers of my motherboard. It’s not that I have absolutely zero idea of how to follow a file path once I save a document. The problem was that I had to photonically transport myself into the software world of my mainframe (yes, exactly like in Tron), then fight off digital bad guys in order to save my homework and the world. By the way, you never once said thank you for rescuing humanity. Rude af.

As for the paper homework, I ran into some trouble with that, too. I’m not gonna give you some dumb “my dog ate my homework” line. Because it was my cat. What happened was that every time I took notes for your class in my notebook, Pawdrey would eat the pages and then puke them all up in a messy hairball. Being the dedicated student that I am, I dissected those hairballs like I was extracting bones from an owl pellet, but Pawdrey Hepburn is insatiable for knowledge. She’d always digested all the really important parts by the time I got to it. Yeah, you could say that Chameleonardo DiCaprio and Pawdrey Hepburn have a bit of a competitive streak when it comes to disrupting my studies.

Something else you may or may not know about me is that I struggle with lefthandedness. Does that make typing essays on a computer particularly challenging? No. But being a southpaw does mess with my self-esteem. Did you know that in the Middle Ages and during the Inquisition, left-handed people were often accused of being witches? Put yourself in my shoes for a minute. Imagine, in this day and age, having to walk around, living in fear that someone might accuse you of having the Devil’s mark! (I actually wrote a very lengthy paper about this for my history class, which I find much more interesting and personally enriching than your class. Maybe you’d like to read it sometime when you’re not busy grading other students’ work?)

Durango’s Carver Willis is going to the big leagues, with the former DHS football star drafted by the San Francisco 49ers last week.

Two African runners, Sabastian Sawe and Yomif Kejelcha, made history at the London Marathon this week, with both breaking the two-hour mark, with Sawe clocking 1:59:30 and Kejelcha just 11 seconds behind him.

Anyway, I know I had all semester to bring up my grade, and you basically begged us students for the love of god please submit any missing work, please, but I didn’t think you were deadass about it. And now I really need to pass this class. So I’m wondering if there’s any way you could round my F up to an A?

Oh, I’m also attaching a very real photo of my wrist with a hospital bracelet on, just in case none of the above excuses work.

– Thanks in advance,

That one student you’ve literally never seen before – Addyson Santese

SignoftheDownfall:

In an 11th hour ruling, a federal judge rejected the Colorado GOP’s effort to block unaffiliated voters from participating in the state’s 2026 primaries. Unaffiliated voters, who make up a majority of the state’s electorate, have been able to cast ballots in either the Democratic or Republican primaries since 2018.

SCOTUS dealt another blow to the Voting Rights Act this week by striking down a Louisiana voting map as a racial gerrymander and opening the door for other states to redraw their maps in ways that could influence elections for years to come.

Another week of Trump’s highly selective application of the First Amendment, with threats to cancel Jimmy Kimmel (again) and indict James Comey (again) for cracking jokes at the insecure Cheeto’s expense.

A flight from San Francisco to San Diego was disrupted Wednesday due to a possible drone strike. So now, in addition to turbulence, not having enough space in the overhead bin and chatty neighbors, we have to worry about being taken out by some dude with a toy?

Security Ma’am

There’s a viral image making its way around social media right now of a somewhat suggestive security camera disguised as a woman to trick thieves into looking directly at the lenses. Of course, all the comments are centered on how well it’ll work because men are dumb (which is true given how many times I’ve been distracted while writing this), but really, this is nothing new. Security companies have been using tricks like flashing lights or bird noises to grab thieves’ attention for years, so I wouldn’t fall for the crop-top camera because I’m not a boob. I mean newb. Damn it! Anyway, the important thing to remember here is that these cameras are designed to catch thieves, so it’s OK to look so long as you’re on your breast behavior. Damn it!!!

WritersontheRange

Planting relief

by Karen Mockler

Tucson lies in the heart of the Sonoran Desert where summers are serious business. In 2024, a recordbreaking 112 days brought temperatures over 100 degrees.

We crave shade here, but where there’s shade in Tucson there’s apt to be affluence. In contrast, seven of the 10 hottest neighborhoods are on the city’s Southside, one of the poorest parts of town. On a summer day, temperatures in the hottest Southside neighborhoods can exceed citywide averages by 7 to 8 degrees. When compared to the Catalina Foothills – one of our metro area’s most affluent regions – that disparity can run as high as 12 degrees.

This isn’t unique to Tucson. A recent study averaged seven years of data to come up with mean temperatures for Tucson and 19 other Southwest cities. The study found that on an average summer day, temperatures were significantly hotter in poorer and more Latino neighborhoods than in richer, whiter ones.

So, to help cool this desert city of 542,000 people, some of my fellow Tucsonans have been busy planting trees. They’re working to achieve an ambitious goal: 1 million trees planted by 2030.

On a recent Saturday, my friend Mandy and I joined a handful of other adults and a bunch of high schoolers to help plant trees in a modest neighborhood on Tucson’s Southside. Luckily, we encountered the worst digging conditions in the first yard –when our arms were still fresh.

“Caliche,” sighed Lenore, a fellow volunteer pushing 70 but still doggedly moving dirt. Caliche is a notorious feature in the Southwest: soil cemented by calcium carbonate. The first time I faced caliche was trying to plant a tree

in my own yard, where a hard white layer had formed. You have to break through that hard layer before planting anything.

Lenore was mistaken – it wasn’t caliche – but the soil was compacted and dry. We’d scrape away one or two inches, then launch another round with the digging bar to break up more. Teenagers across the yard weren’t faring any better.

At long last, we dug deep enough to plant two native hackberry trees that in time will offer food for birds and pollinators, as well as shade. We watered . them in, then headed down the street to the next house.

“I’m tired,” Mandy admitted. “Are you tired?”

I wasn’t, but I would’ve been if I’d been digging solo.

The second yard, like the first, was bare, but this time the ground was considerably softer. While we dug, two women came out with their friendly husky to cheer us on. Working as a team, we planted two native desert willows.

The third yard was easier still. The young couple who bought the house six months ago had watered the spots –hallelujah! – where we then planted a desert willow and a red push pistache. He and the other homeowners had

agreed to keep watering their new trees, particularly before the monsoon rains (hopefully) arrive in late summer and until the trees become established, at which point the desert-adapted trees can largely fend for themselves.

These trees are “a promise to future generations” for shade, health and prosperity, said Mayor Regina Romero –Tucson’s first-ever female mayor and first Hispanic mayor in 150 years.

“Climate change waits for no one,” the mayor said. “Without a livable community, we have no Tucson.”

My friend Mandy and I got involved through the NeighborWoods Tree Planting program, which operates under the nonprofit Tucson Clean & Beautiful. It works closely with the city and is funded entirely by the state through the Inflation Reduction Act, with money guaranteed for one more year.

The mayor launched the Tucson Million Trees initiative in 2020 by planting a tree in her own yard. Five years later, 150,000 trees are in the ground. While new plantings are encouraged everywhere, the NeighborWoods program invests heavily in neighborhoods that are particularly hot.

Fliers distributed to neighborhoods offer a short list of low-water use, mostly native trees for planting, including palo verde, desert ironwood and velvet mesquite. The program offers up to three free trees per yard – homeowner’s choice – plus free labor to put them in the ground.

The morning I volunteered, folks planted 101 trees. I personally helped plant three of them. It’s a long way to reach 1 million, but I’ll be back. We need all the shade we can get.

Karen Mockler lives and writes in Tucson and is a contributor to Writers on the Range, writersontherange.org, an independent nonprofit dedicated to spurring lively conversation about the West. ■

SoapBox

Dispelling mask ban myths

The folks trying to get the visible ID/no masks ordinance passed would like to clear up some concerns and misrepresentations.

• Misrepresentation No. 1: “States and local governments have no power over federal law enforcement.”

This overstates the Supremacy Clause and ignores what the Durango ordinance actually does. Cities regulate how all actors – federal, state, private – operate in their streets, parks and facilities: noise ordinances; traffic rules; permitting; restrictions on demonstrations; etc. Durango already sets conditions for conduct within city limits. This ordinance fits that tradition by requiring visible identification and banning masked, anonymous policing in public spaces.

The ordinance regulates conduct, not federal jurisdiction. The measure doesn’t claim power over federal investigations, prosecutions or law. It says: if you operate as “law enforcement” in Durango, you don’t get to do it secretly, with your identity concealed.

Constitutional values are local, too. The citizen’s ordinance “returns constitutionality and trust to policing and the people” and “keeps policing local.”

The Supremacy Clause doesn’t erase a city’s duty to protect residents’ due process, equal protection and freedom from unreasonable seizures – especially when anonymous, masked officers are involved.

The real question is where is the line between valid,

local regulation and impermissible interference with federal functions? This ordinance is carefully drafted to stay on the conduct/accountability side.

• Misrepresentation No. 2: “Federal courts overturned a California law banning masks by federal LEOs … this will be upheld all the way to SCOTUS.”

This treats an unspecified case as a universal, automatic death sentence for any local accountability rule and ignores how Durango’s ordinance is tailored. Whatever happened with a California statute doesn’t automatically control a narrowly drawn Durango ordinance. Courts look at:

- What the law actually prohibits.

- Whether it targets federal authority or sets neutral, generally applicable rules.

- Whether it leaves room for federal operations while protecting local interests.

Durango’s ordinance is narrow and purpose-driven emphasizing:

- Visible identification of officers.

- No masking that conceals identity.

- Keeping policing local and constitutional.

That’s a far cry from “you can’t do your job here.” It’s: “You can’t do it secretly, without accountability.”

When the Constitution is enforced, this ordinance is enforceable.

• Misrepresentation No. 3. “We could lose all federal dollars – transit, highways, schools, Medicaid, etc.”

This is a fear that goes far beyond what’s been threatened and what’s legally realistic.

D-Tooned/by Rob Pudim

The ordinance is about masks and identification. This is an ordinance that “prohibits masking of law enforcement officers and requires visible identification, keeps policing local and returns constitutionality and trust to policing and the people.” It is not a refusal to cooperate with all federal agencies or a declaration of non-compliance with federal law.

Federal funding threats are political tools, not automatic switches. Many federal programs are

governed by statute and can’t be cut off just because a regime dislikes an ordinance.

Risk must be weighed against real, present harms of secret policing. The core argument is that allowing masked, unidentifiable officers – especially from outside agencies like ICE – to operate in Durango erodes trust, chills speech and undermines constitutional protections. That is not hypothetical; it’s a direct threat to residents’ rights and the legitimacy of policing. When policing is “out of compliance” with the Constitution, resistance is not unconstitutional.

• Misrepresentation No. 4: City Council has framed the ordinance as symbolic and empty, when in fact it directly changes how law enforcement may operate.

This is a concrete policy change. It bans masked, identity-concealing law enforcement operations in the city. It requires visible identification for officers, including those from outside agencies. That’s not a “moral stand with no policy change.” It’s an operational rule that residents can see and experience.

Local democracy is working as designed. The petition drive gathered the required signatures to force Council to adopt the ordinance or send it to a vote. That’s not reckless; it’s the charter-provided mechanism for residents to set policy when they believe Council hasn’t.

Fiscal analysis is appropriate – but not the only lens. Of course, Council should discuss potential fiscal implications. But voters also have to weigh constitutional values such as transparency, accountability and the right to know who is exercising state power over you.

Durango’s own police already operate with visible identification and clear accountability. The ordinance simply insists that outside agencies meet that same standard.

If Durango accepts secret, masked policing now out of fear, it sets a precedent that rights can be bargained away whenever funding is threatened.

– Ted Wright and Mick Souder, Durango

Choose wisely for governor

Did you know there will be a primary in June in Colorado? The primary ballot (mailed June 8) will be to select the final candidates to represent either the Democratic or Republican party in the November General Election.

Those affiliated Democrat, Republican or Independent can vote in June on nominations for U.S. Senator, U.S. House of Representatives, governor, attorney general and secretary of state. Both parties have more than one hopeful candidate for these offices, and we must choose wisely.

On the Democratic side, we have two candidates for governor: incumbent Sen. Michael Bennet and termlimited Attorney General Phil Weiser. Bennet has a senate seat until at least 2028, when he’s up for re-election. Weiser has nowhere to go; he cannot stay as AG no matter how well we all think he’s done. But we’re fortunate because we can have both! Bennet can fulfill the term we all just elected him to in 2024, and Weiser can do a phenomenal job as our well-prepared Colorado Governor. We can choose wisely!

– Kathy Turner, Durango

LPEA: Pitcher, Luschen, Jenkins

The LPEA election is in full swing and, as expected, people who oppose progress and reliable, sustainable, affordable electricity are spreading misinformation and engaging in personal attacks of opposing candidates.

One recurring and ridiculous complaint: The LPEA board has not been “transparent” about the Tri-State buyout. Nothing could be further from the truth; and anyone who has actually paid attention knows that.

LPEA is now focused on our members’ best interests and not throwing money away to a Front Range landlord. By exiting Tri-State, LPEA took a step toward a future that provides flexibility and energy independence free of Tri-State’s stranglehold and $3 billion+ debt. On April 1, when LPEA exited Tri-State, the co-op’s wholesale power costs dropped by 22% and greenhouse gas emissions dropped 20%. Exiting Tri-State is a longterm strategic decision and was not taken lightly.

For those complaining about rates, let’s talk facts: Average KWh rate in Colorado, 16 cents; U.S. average, 17-19 cents; LPEA’s rate, 11 cents.

Please, help LPEA remain focused on the future. Depending on where you live, vote for Jenn Jenkins, (Dst. 3) David Luschen (Dst. 4, current board member), Nicole Pitcher (Dst. 1, current board member).

The other candidates are looking in the rear-view mirror attempting to litigate an imaginary past. LPEA is looking ahead to a powerful and ground-breaking future. Join us!

Disclosure: I am on the LPEA Board, these statements are mine only.

– Joe Lewandowski, Durango

Meet the candidates

Affordability, transparency and reliability top concerns in co-op’s first year

by Missy Votel

Ballots have hit local mailboxes once again for La Plata Electric Association’s annual Board of Directors election. This spring’s election is particularly notable in that it is the first since LPEA gained independence from its former wholesale supplier Tri-State Energy and Transmission on April 1.

“Our board elections are the most important ways members shape the future of their co-op,” LPEA CEO Chris Hansen said. “As we continue building on our recent energy transition, member participation is more important than ever. We encourage all eligible members to vote and join us at the annual meeting.”

This year, there are seven candidates running for four open seats – one in each of LPEA’s four districts: District 1, Archuleta County; District 2, south and west La Plata County; District 3, City of Durango; and District 4, north and east La Plata County. In all, there are 12 board members, with three seats in each district elected on a rotating basis for three-year terms.

Also this year, members will be asked to vote on an amendment to the co-op’s bylaws to set a “record date” that would define the date by which new members are eligible to vote in LPEA elections. The amendment is meant to align with how elections have been managed in the past and will give members a written reference for understanding voter eligibility, according to the ballot language.

This year in District 1 (Archuleta County), incumbent and current board president Nicole Pitcher will be running for re-election against James Lane, and the election in District 2 (south and west La Plata County) will not be taking place due to the fact that only one candidate, Greg Barber, is running.

In District 3 (City of Durango), newcomers Jenn Jenkins and Jodi Zuber are running to replace outgoing nine-year board member Rachel Landis. In District 4 (north and east La Plata County), incumbent David Luschen is running against John Purser.

Candidate statements from the two La Plata County races (District 3 and 4) follow:

District 3:

Jenn Jenkins vs. Jodi Zuber

• Jenn Jenkins: A resident of Durango since 2013, Jenkins said she has more than 20 years of experience in the rural utility and clean energy sectors focusing on distributed energy – smallscale, localized power generation and storage like batteries and fuel cells – and helping rural areas navigate energy transitions. She has also advocated for policies at federal and state levels to help implement a nationwide move toward more renewable electricity.

“I am eager to contribute my expertise to secure an affordable and sustainable future power supply for all LPEA members,” she wrote.

Throughout her career, she has worked

with rural communities around the country and launched several initiatives, including the Rural Energy Academy, which provides technical assistance on wind, solar, battery storage, etc.

“My expertise taught me that a diverse energy portfolio is required for grid stability, energy security and affordability,” she wrote. “I work with counties across the country that are facing similar technology shifts and record load growth, as our community is experiencing. My work involves all technologies, but the goal remains the same: to empower rural communities to decide for themselves if these technologies match their community’s values.”

Her goal as a board member is to honor the values of rural stakeholders,

rather than exploiting differences, to keep electricity bills affordable and to responsibly advance innovation.

• Jodi Zuber: A lifelong Durango resident, Zuber said she and her family have owned and operated several businesses in Durango, which gives her firsthand knowledge of the challenges families and small businesses face.

Giving back to the community is also important to her, and she has volunteered for the La Plata County Clerk’s office helping with local elections and worked with Blue Star Moms on the Field of Flags memorial. She also participates in the Snowdown Follies and is also a member of the Elks Lodge, where sheserves on the Elks Scholarship Committee.

“Today, the cost of living continues to rise. Homes are expensive, and the bills that come with them keep increasing. That is one of the main reasons I am running,” she wrote. “Our electric cooperative should focus on keeping electricity reliable and as affordable as possible.”

Although not initially a fan of LPEA’s exit from Tri-State, Zuber told the Durango Herald that she has since changed her mind because it will allow LPEA flexibility in buying more costeffective power. “It’s not a bad thing that we’re out, because now we have more flexibility,” Zuber said.

She supports a balanced energy mix, including renewable sources, but reliability and affordability come first. She also stressed the importance of transparency to LPEA members. “They deserve clear answers about decisions that affect their electric bills and their quality of life,” she wrote. “My goal is simple: keep electricity dependable, keep it affordable and always put the members first.”

District 4:

David Luschen vs. John Purser

• David Luschen (incumbent): Luschen has been a member of the LPEA Board for three years, during which time he touts a 10% reduction in power purchasing costs, increased reliability and fire safety, and the opening of LPEA’s Sunnyside Community Solar project.

Before being elected in 2023, Luschen, a public power engineer with an MBA, worked for CPS Energy in San Antonio, Texas, the nation’s largest municipally owned electric and natural gas utility.

“It’s a complex time for LPEA and electric co-ops, and my 26-year career in electric utilities brings the necessary expertise to help LPEA continue to best serve its members,” he wrote, adding that affordability, reliability and safety are his top priorities.

He said he looks forward to developing more local energy opportunities, such as additional community and residential solar. As an example, he points to LPEA’s recent power purchase agreement with Vallecito Hydro.

In the future, he would also like to address LPEA’s transmission reliability, resiliency and safety by upgrading existing lines and/or building new ones through its new partnership with the Southwest Power Pool. “This is an opportunity to … improve the reliability of LPEA’s transmission grid, which was not possible under Tri-State,” he wrote.

Other goals include utilizing new technologies like drone line inspection and Al analysis.

“I look forward to continuing to bring my experience to the future of LPEA and supporting local energy control for predictable and affordable rates,” he wrote.

• John Purser: A 22-year resident of Durango, Purser moved to Durango in 2004 to work for Mercury Payment Systems as director of IT, helping the start-

up grow to a $1.4-billion company in less than 10 years. He holds an economics degree with studies in environmental economics and securities markets and is a volunteer at Big Picture High School and active with the Citizens Climate Lobby.

This is Purser’s fourth run for the LPEA Board, having run in 2021, 2023 and 2024. This time Purser said he is concerned about transparency, particularly with the Tri-State exit, which he believes should have required a vote of co-op members. In addition, he objects to the board selling LPEA assets, including Fastrack Communications, without disclosing the sale price.

He said he sees the co-op taking on unnecessary debt, and that the decision to join the SPP could threaten affordability.

“Your electric cooperative is at a crossroads. A crossroads you as member/ owners were never allowed to vote on,” he wrote. “The board that got us here is asking you to trust them with what comes next.”

Purser said he has paid close attention to the co-op’s finances over the last five years and has been “concerned and dismayed” at what he’s seen.

“LPEA’s authorized debt stands at approximately $350 million ... roughly $9,000 per member,” he wrote. “We currently operate at a deficit of approximately $500,000 a month, or $10 a month per member.”

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He said rates are being held flat this year by drawing down a reserve fund that will not last. “This is a failure of fiduciary and fiscal responsibility,” he wrote. “I have no ties to any company, lobby group or special interest with a financial stake in LPEA’s decisions. My campaign is funded by members, not organizations.”

If elected, Purser said he will fight for transparency; respect co-op bylaws, policies and regulations; and select management for experience and skills, not

political connections.

There are several ways for LPEA members to vote:

• Online through LPEA’s SmartHub portal using the “Vote Now” button

• By mail using the return envelope

• In person at the annual meeting Wed., May 20, at LPEA’s Durango headquarters. Online ballots must be received by 12 noon, Tues., May 19, and mail-in ballots must be received by 4 p.m. May 19. ■ For more info., visit lpea.coop/elections

Tina Miely

Broker Associate (970) 946-2902

tina@BHHSco.com

ArtistinResidence

Art in motion

Chad Cheeney brings bikes and art together for offbeat exhibit, Tracklocross Weekend

by Jennaye Derge

Chad Cheeney needs little introduction, at least not in Durango. Chances are, if you see a gaggle of people in team jerseys riding bikes, Cheeney is nearby teaching someone how to do a wheelie. The co-founder and head coach for Devo and head coach for the Fort Lewis College Cycling team, he’s also been the curator of many bike-related events over the years, including secret – sometimes questionably legal – underground “back yard” events. (I, myself, took part in a few Cheeney events while I was in college more than a decade ago, outfitted in some leopard print with my scrappy Trek road bike in one hand and a Solo cup of PBR in the other.)

Cheeney has helped host pretty much every cycling event in town, and every day, seemingly, he has more ideas for micro-bike events to keep things fresh. He’s a beacon for fun on bikes, and a big reason is his creativity. And now he’s channeling that creativity into an art show.

On May 1, during the monthly First Friday Art Walk, Cheeney will most an opening for his first-ever group art exhibit, “Rad Bike Art.” In

partnership with the Durango Creative District, the show takes place at the Creative District’s Art Gallery, 1135 Main Ave. The show, which will be open Monday-Friday through May, showcases the work of 27 artists and includes paintings, graphic design, sculptures and more. The artists are all part of Cheeney’s world in some way or another – old friends, new friends or acquaintances through a few degrees of separation, from all over the country. Many are his students, past and present, and even his own kids are getting involved. But all of the artists have the same things in common: a love of bikes and big imaginations.

The art show was originally an idea for Cheeney to generate buzz around Tracklocross Weekend, which he will be hosting in Buckley Park on May 22-24. (If you’re unfamiliar with tracklocross, think cyclocross on a fixed-gear, or track, bike.)

“I was realizing that the key to cool events is you gotta have music and art along with your event,” Cheeney said. (Which, I think is a little funny because, in actuality, the key to cool events is just having Cheeney plan them. But I guess art and music don’t hurt.)

That’s when he ran into friend Kathryn Waggener, who just so happens to be the Executive Director of the Creative Art District.

“She was like, ‘You should curate a show,’ and I was like, ‘What does that mean?’” Cheeney laughed. He realized, while talking to Waggener, that curating an art show is actually something that he could do. And serendipitously, the gallery is directly across the street from Buckley, the venue for the event. “It was as simple as that,” Cheeney said.

While tracklocross and art don’t seem to be an organic mix, tracklocross is, arguably, an art form of its own. This genre of biking can hold its own when it comes to interesting things to look at, and it is most certainly entertaining. The most basic way to describe tracklocross – which is done on a

bike with slightly bigger tires than a cross bike, no brakes and one speed – is to ask yourself how you can make mountain biking more difficult. Or make road biking more difficult. Or make any sort of biking more difficult. But, with tracklocross, you do it with friends, so it’s actually fun.

Tracklocross usually takes place on dirt, but as long as you’re riding on unpaved, uneven, rough terrain, you can call it tracklocross. Usually it’s a race, but the vibe is different than any other race since its objective is fun, and the lycra is a little less lycra-y. Mostly, it isn’t about how fast you’re going, but how often you can keep your body upright and the rubber side down.

Cheeney, who gathers his tracklocross team, Dracklo Turango, every week to ride some local dirt, said all are welcome for Tracklocross Weekend, which will feature rides and races all over town.

As far as Cheeney curating an art show, anyone who knows him knows he is an artist at heart. He draws on his helmets and has created an anthology of spoke cards, posters and flyers. His personal style is fun, his bikes are cool, and every piece of marketing material he produces has a unique “Chad” vibe. He doodles on images, creates collages, and his photos are often dramatic angles with a double exposure. Looking at the art he produces, you know he does it not because he needs to, but because he has fun doing it.

“On a bike, your brain works in a new way. It’s a flow state with the movement. And you’re more drawn to things,” Cheeney said. He describes how riding his bike helps him with his creativity, and why bikes and art are so intrinsically linked. “(On a bike) you’re at the perfect speed. Horses are too bumpy and too slow, trains are too fast and stay on just one line, cars are too loud and too fast, but bikes are just right,” he said.

On a bike, your mind clears out so your imagination can come in.

“You see a penny on the ground, you

“For the Love,” left, by Catherine Eagen, and “Monuments of the Combustion Age,” by Kamaljit Punia, are among the 27 artworks that will be on display for “Rad Bike Art.”

wave to the granny next door, you go socialize,” Cheeney said. Being on a bike slows you down to take in what, and who, is around you. It helps you be creative and more in touch with the things that might go unnoticed.

“Now I find trash, and I collect trash,” Cheeney said. “I put it in these little jars … I just scored this jar that is literally the size of this table (about 3 feet by 2 feet), and I’m going to fill it full of really cool little trash that I find – maybe like a diamond ring or a kid’s tooth or a scab; all the weird, disgusting, cool stuff.”

Collecting trash off the ground and keeping it in a jar, to me, is completely brilliant. How much stuff on the ground

do we pass by every day? What are the things we find if we start paying attention? Cheeney wants to put it all in a jar. That, to me, is art.

Cheeney will even be displaying a piece of his own at Rad Bike Art –something very similar to trash in a jar. For the last 14 months, he has been collecting yellow No. 2 pencils that he has found on his bike rides all around the country. His only rule is that he has to be on his bike, not walking, because he says he’d find too many on foot. He’s found so many, that they barely fit into a jar.

“They’re just packed in. My God. And I keep finding them,” he said.

In fact, Cheeney has found so many

that he knew he had to draw the line somewhere – to stop himself from finding more – and that’s when he decided the art show was a good stopping point.

Not all the pieces in the show are so abstract, however. Most are statements about why we love bikes, why we ride them and what they mean to us. Others take a more serious tone, like Kamaljit Punia’s “Monuments of the Combustion Age,” which encourages bike commuting and graced the event’s official poster. But overall, the art is meant to inspire us to get out on some dirt, on a bike with only one speed and no brakes, and have fun with our friends (leopard print costumes optional but highly encouraged.)

Thursday30

iAM Music Fest, 2 p.m., various venues, downtown Durango

The One and Only Jon Ham plays, 5-7 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Durango Green Drinks, 5-7 p.m., 11th St. Station, 1101 Main Ave.

“Universal Healthcare for Colorado Now!” presented by Indivisible Durango, 6-7 p.m., RSVP for zoom link: forms.gle/QfBh26KYkYysRmqA7

Rob Webster plays, 6-9 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Gary Watkins plays, 6-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Bluegrass Jam, 6-9 p.m., Durango Beer and Ice Co., 3000 Main Ave.

Open Mic Night, 6-9 p.m., American Legion, 878 E. 2nd Ave.

The Vanbuskirks play, 6-9 p.m., 11th St. Station, 1101 Main Ave.

Powerhouse Trivia Night, 6:30-8:30 p.m., The Powerhouse, 1333 Camino Del Rio

“Into the Woods,” presented by Merely Players, 79:30 p.m., Merely Underground, 789 Tech Center Dr.

iAM Music Fest Pre-Party, 7:30 p.m., The iNDIGO Room, 1315 Main Ave., #207

Friday01

Veterans Friday Coffee, 8-10:30 a.m., American Legion, 878 E. 2nd Ave.

Law Day Celebration “The Rule of Law and the American Dream,” 12 noon-1 p.m., La Plata County Courthouse, 1060 E. 2nd Ave.

National Adopt a Shelter Pet Day Adoption Event, 12 noon-2 p.m., Durango Motor Co., 1200 Carbon Junction

Durango First Friday Art Walk, 4-7 p.m., various locations, downtown Durango

iAM Music Fest, 4:30 p.m., various locations, downtown Durango

“Sacred Spirits,” solo exhibition by Ray Tigerman, opening reception, 5-7 p.m., Blue Rain Gallery, 934 Main Ave., Unit B

Leah Orlikowski plays on the Patio, 5-8 p.m., April’s Garden, 1259 Main Ave.

“The Turning Wheel,” pastels by Susan Clark, opening reception, 5-8 p.m., Earthen Vessel Gallery,

934 Main Ave.

Irie Illustrations Artist Showcase with Zyon Frauen, 5-8 p.m., The Subterrain, 900 Main Ave., Ste. F

“Tiny Monuments,” by Glen Shoemaker, opening reception, 5­8 p.m., The Recess Gallery at Studio &, 1027 Main Ave.

Larry Carver & Friends play, 5:30 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Mother’s Day Jewelry Event, 5:30-7 p.m., The ArtRoom Collective, 1309 E. 3rd Ave.

Trivia Fridays, 6-8:30 p.m., Durango Beer & Ice Co, 3000 Main Ave.

Dustin Burley plays, 6-9 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

“Into the Woods,” presented by Merely Players, 7-9:30 p.m., Merely Underground, 789 Tech Center Dr.

La La Bones plays, 7-10 p.m., 11th St. Station, 1101 Main Ave.

Saturday02

Pop-up Bike Lane and Volunteer Day with Bike Durango, 9:30-11 a.m., Junction St. and W. 2nd Ave.

Dandelion Festival, 1-7 p.m., Rotary Park

iAM Music Fest, 2 p.m., various venues, Durango

LPEA Board Candidate Forum, presented by Indivisible Durango, 3-5 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 E. 3rd Ave.

“Take a Bow,” Music in the Mountains Student Concert, 4 p.m., FLC Roshong Recital Hall

Ben Gibson plays, 6 p.m., Weminuche Woodfire Grill, 18044 CR 501, Vallecito

Leah Orikowski plays, 6-8 p.m., EsoTerra Arboretum, 270 CR 303

Adam Swanson Ragtime plays, 6-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Matt Rupnow plays, 6-9 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Karaoke with Kimmy, 6-9 p.m., Durango Beer and Ice Co., 3000 Main Ave.

Carute Roma plays, 6-9 p.m., Union Social House, 3063 Main Ave.

The Original Vypers play, 6-9pm, 11th St. Station, 1101 Main Ave.

Post Hardcore Concert and Grind featuring Cinematica, TAKIPNIK, Facepulp, Dogs Throw Spears, Nil and Midnight Architect, 6:30-11 p.m., The

Hive/Swarm, 1175 Camino Del Rio

“Into the Woods,” presented by Merely Players, 7-9:30 p.m., Merely Underground, 789 Tech Center Dr.

Sunday03

Durango Flea Market, 7 a.m.-3 p.m., La Plata County Fairgrounds

Veterans Benefit Breakfast, 9-11 a.m., VFW Post 4031, 1550 Main Ave.

How Healing Yourself Transforms Your Animals, 10-11:30 a.m., Bark Bark, 643b Main Ave.

Sunday Record Brunch Club, 12 noon-2:30 p.m., 11th St. Station, 1101 Main Ave.

Irish Jam, 12 noon-3 p.m., Durango Beer and Ice Co., 3000 Main Ave.

Meet the Trucks festival, 12 noon-3 p.m., The Community Treehouse, 658 S East St., Bayfield

iAM Music Fest, 2 p.m., various locations, downtown Durango

Company 444 Dance Showcase, 2-4 p.m., Community Concert Hall at FLC

The Boykos play, 2:30 p.m., 11th St. Station, 1101 Main Ave.

“Water Music,” presented by Mancos Valley Chorus, 3 p.m., 470 Grand Ave., Mancos

San Juan Symphony Spring Social, 4-7 p.m., Union Social House, 3062 Main Ave.

Snowy Plovers play, 5-7 p.m., Mancos Brewing, 484 Hwy 160 E. Frontage Rd., Mancos

Ben Gibson plays, 6-9 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Blue Moon Ramblers play, 6-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

“Into the Woods,” presented by Merely Players, 7-9:30 p.m., Merely Underground, 789 Tech Center Dr.

Monday04

Sign Waving peaceful gathering, 4 p.m., corners of Camino del Rio and College Dr.

Happy Hour Yoga, 5:30 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Terry Rickard plays, 6-9 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Ben Gibson plays, 6-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

AskRachel

A sucky idea, cowboying up and costume do’s & dont’s

Interesting fact: Competitive air hockey requires reflexes comparable to hitting a 400 mph fastball. Non-competitive air hockey requires a lot of luck in flailing in the right direction.

Dear Rachel,

I have an idea for a new invention, and I hope you can run this letter in hopes of finding my angel investor. It’s a floor that vacuums itself. It’s a regular house floor with little holes like an air hockey table. But instead of blowing air out, it sucks dirt in. Got dog hair? It can also blow air out to collect everything in one corner for easy cleanup. Tell me you think this is genius and I’ll give you a cut of my inevitable fortune.

– Mad Scientist

Dear Vent Inventor,

Eh, what the hell: I think this is genius. We have this in writing, if you should make yourself rich on this idea. I’m holding you to it. The even more genius idea is if you could put that floor on actual air hockey mode. Imagine a living-room sized game of air hockey. Imagine a game of actual hockey in the kitchen, sticks and all. Put little slits in the baseboards for the goals. Charge friends four quarters per period. Pay for the flooring that way. It’s brilliant. Think about it. – I call next game, Rachel

Tuesday05

Literary Festival, 8 a.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 E. 3rd Ave.

“U.S. - China Relations in the New Trump Era,” presented by Great Decisions Durango, 11:45-1:45 a.m., Durango Public Library 1900 E. 3rd Ave.

Cowboy Tuesdays, 12 noon-3 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

“Save the Farm Save the Future,” film screening, 5 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 E. 3rd Ave.

Twin Buttes Tuesday, weekly group mountain bike ride, 5:30-7:30 p.m., Twin Buttes trailhead parking lot

Rotary Club of Durango presents Former Rep. Mary Bono speaking about her life in public service and working with Mothers for Awareness and Prevention of Drug Abuse (MAPDA), 6-7 p.m., Strater Hotel, 699 Main Ave.

Book Club: “Man Made Monsters,” 6-7:30 p.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 E. 3rd Ave.

Author Event and Book Signing with Ron Dungan “The Worst Fishing Dog Ever,” 6-8 p.m., Maria’s Bookshop, 960 Main Ave.

Tuesday Trivia, 6-8:30 p.m., 11th St. Station, 1101 Main Ave.

Dear Rachel,

Do you think you should have to earn the privilege to wear job-specific clothing? Or can you just get away with anything? I’m thinking cowboy hats and boots without cowboying, and football jerseys without footballing. Feels to me like wearing bike shorts without riding a bike, but maybe I’m in the wrong here. What do you think?

– Fashion Incensed

Dear Apparel-Appalled, There is this old adage: Dress for the job you want. I’m guessing a lot of folks would like to be John Elway or even any one of the Broncos. So, power to them? I personally think only yoga instructors should dress like yoga instructors, and then only when going to the yoga instruction office. But if we want to bring reflective neon vests into style, I don’t care that I’ve never stepped foot on a job site, I’d be down for that.

– All dressed up, Rachel

Dear Rachel,

I’m new to town and understand that dressing up in costume is pretty essential for living here. I might be missing some things but I’ll plan on Halloween as my starting point. Any advice for the newbie on do’s and don’ts for costuming up right?

– New Kid on the Grid

Open Mic Poetry, 6-9 p.m., American Legion Hall, 878 E. 2nd Ave.

Jason Thies plays, 6-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Sean O’Brien plays, 6-9 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

Barbershop Tryouts, every Tues., 6:30 p.m., Christ the King Church, 495 Florida Rd.

Adult Disco Roller Skating, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Chapman Hill Roller Rink

Wednesday06

Literary Festival, 8 a.m., Durango Public Library, 1900 E. 3rd Ave.

Weekly Bird Walks with the Durango Bird Club, 89:30 a.m., Botanical Gardens at Durango Library, 1900 E. 3rd Ave.

Small Business Conference, 8:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Sky Ute Events Center, Ignacio

Word Honey free poetry workshop, 6-7:30 p.m., The Hive, 1175 Camino Del Rio

Donny Johnson plays, 6-9 p.m., Diamond Belle Saloon, 699 Main Ave.

Email

Dear Unmasked,

You know what you need to do? Don’t put too much into any one costume. Instead, invest in an entire costume stash. An ancient steamer trunk will do, or your spare bedroom. Pick up every cool, quirky, distinct wig, accessory, shoe, coat, feathered/glittered/ studded piece of clothing you can. Because when the need for a costume strikes, you need to be prepared. Just don’t dress up as a make-believe cowboy in your day-to-day, and you will be pretty well accepted. – Guess who, Rachel

Matt Lewis plays, 6-9 p.m., Office Spiritorium, 699 Main Ave.

The (Almost) Weekly Comedy Open Mic, 7-8 p.m., American Legion, 878 E. 2nd Ave.

Ongoing

Love Locals Week, May 1-10, various Durango businesses

Dementia/Alzheimer’s Caregivers Support Group, 1st, 3rd & 5th Wednesday of each month, 10:30 a.m.-12 noon, La Plata Senior Center, 2424 Main Ave.

“Beauty or Bondage: Exploring Feminism,” art exhibition, April 10-May 9, Durango Art Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave.

Upcoming

Dustin Burley plays, Thurs., May 7, 6-9 p.m., 11th St. Station, 1101 Main Ave.

Baracutanga plays SkaBQ, Thurs., May 7, 5-7 p.m., Ska Brewing, 225 Girard St.

Bear Film Festival, Thurs., May 7, 6-8 p.m., Durango Arts Center, 802 E. 2nd Ave.

Hydrophonic Festival, May 7-10, Tico Time Resort, Aztec

FreeWillAstrology

by Rob Brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the 19th century, Aries photographer Eadweard Muybridge (1830–1904) resolved to settle a debate about whether galloping horses ever have all four hooves off the ground. He developed a system to capture rapid sequential images, which ultimately helped lead to the invention of motion pictures. His answer to a narrow technical question opened up an entirely new art form. Moral of the story: Solving a specific problem may create unforeseen revolutions. In coming weeks, I invite you to stay alert for how your focused efforts to address a challenge might birth more significant breakthroughs. Don’t get so fixated that you miss larger innovations.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): May is Free Thinking Month for you Tauruses. It’s also Free Feeling, Free Wheeling and Free Healing Month. To observe this festive grace period, indulge in any of the following jubilant acts: 1. Declare your independence from anyone who tries to tell you how you should live your life. 2. Declare independence from your history, especially recollections that dampen your sense of possibility. 3. Declare independence from groupthink and conventional wisdom. 4. Declare independence from your former conceptions of freedom so you’ll be free to arrive at fresh understandings of it.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The Navajo practice hózhó means “walking in beauty”: living in balance and harmony with life. But hózhó isn’t a static state you achieve once and possess forever. You must continually restore and reinvent it. I suspect you’re in a phase like that now, Gemini. Too much thinking and not enough feeling? Too much future and not enough present? I recommend you take corrective measures. Start by taking one physical action that grounds you. Have a conversation from the heart instead of the head. Spend an hour not planning the story to come but simply loving what’s here right now. Refresh your hózhó!

CANCER (June 21-July 22): If a honeybee colony becomes too crowded, scout bees search for potential new hive sites. When they return, they perform waggle dances for their colleagues to convey specific information about different locations. Negotiations ensue. Various possibilities are offered and considered through more dancing. Eventually, the swarm collectively makes a choice and heads out to its new home. Your challenge right now, Cancerian, is to be like a scout bee who facilitates your group’s

decision-making process. I invite you to carry out a reconnaissance mission and then perform your waggle dances for your people. Make your case with vigor and precision. Trust the group’s emergent wisdom.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Like all of us, you have persistent aches from old losses and wounds. They may seem like permanent burdens. But here’s some very good news: In the coming months, there’s a greater chance than usual that you’ll discover new approaches to healing them. The remedies won’t necessarily be logical or obvious. They may involve you conducting rituals, taking symbolic actions or ambushing the pain from unexpected angles. Be alert for interventions that may seem too simple or unexpected to work.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Your restlessness is building. How much longer will you pretend you don’t sense the pull of bright temptations and appealing sanctuaries? At what moment will you finally stop resisting your urge to slip past the usual boundaries and roam? The astrological omens hint that this pivot is close at hand. In the borderlands of your imagination, a daring journey is taking shape. Where might it carry you? Here’s my guess: down into the raw, unfiltered depths of the future you dream about.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In fairy tales, when heroes are rewarded, their gifts are often tools of protection: a cloak that renders them invisible, a magic club that chases off foes or shoes that enable them to outrun any threat. In other stories, the reward is meant to deepen the hero’s delight in living: a genie’s lamp, a cauldron that cooks up exquisite food or a horn that calls forth marvelous companions from the fairy world. I mention this, Libra, because I believe rewards for your past and recent generosity are on their way. If you have any say in what form they take, I suggest you request something from this second, pleasure-giving category.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Poet Marie Howe wrote, “I don’t think we can love anything more intensely than we love a secret.” Many Scorpios feel this way. You understand that mystery is often a joy to be savored. Some truths reveal themselves only to those who summon the patient intelligence to be at peace amidst the confounding riddles. Non-Scorpios may be desperate to leave nothing hidden, but you like to learn from the teasing prickles. You know that some transformations need darkness to carry on their work. Your next assignment: Decide what truth needs more time in the deep before it’s ready to surface.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

Diamond is the hardest natural substance, while graphite is soft and slippery. Yet they’re both made of pure carbon. The difference is in their structure. Let’s extrapolate from this fact as we ruminate on your life, Sagittarius. I’m 97% certain that you already have everything you need. Maybe you imagine you lack key resources and powers, but from what I can tell, you are well set-up. So I propose that you simply reorganize what’s available to you now. Take the “carbon” of your life and arrange it in new patterns. Your task isn’t further accumulation but reconfiguration.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): My Capricorn grandfather was a master artisan. He told me that the best furniture is built twice: first in the imagination, then with wood. Let’s apply that theme to you. I believe you have mostly finished the first step of visualizing what you want. Now you’re almost ready to launch the actual work. I’m eager to see the practical effects that will bloom from your detailed fantasies. The rest of the world is excited, too. These days, we all especially need your talent for turning beautiful dreams into vivid realities. You have extra power to inspire us to convert our ideas into dynamic actions.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I invite you to imagine a time in the past when you were almost perfectly content. Visualize that magical confluence of satisfying feelings. Where were you? Who was or wasn’t there? What could you see, hear, smell and feel in your body? What made that moment so right? Next step: Make a vow to rebuild as many of those conditions as you realistically can over the next three weeks. Maybe you can’t recreate the exact scene, but you can approximate its essence.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The astrological factors now in effect are tending to generate useful and valuable cosmic jokes. I believe they may be disruptive and helpful. In this spirit, I offer you the following affirmations, borrowed from internet memes: 1. “You may call me ‘melodramatic.’ I describe myself as a ‘creative problem-solver with flair and panache.’” 2. “I’m not overthinking; I’m overriding simplistic answers that hide real truths.” 3. “You shouldn’t think of me as chaotic; the fact is that I’m generously non-linear.” 4. “I have a solid plan, but it’s always evolving to keep up with reality’s crazy insistence on ceaseless change.” 5. “Please dismantle your low expectations; I need ample room to exceed them.” 6. “I trust my instincts; they have often been wrong in interesting ways.”

Deadline for Telegraph classified ads is Tuesday at noon.

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Ads can be submitted by emailing: classifieds@ durangotelegraph.com

Announcements

White Rabbit Spring Book Sale

5/2, 11–4 (5/3 if rain), 128 W. 14th St., White Rabbit Garden. Lots of great books – take what you need, pay what you want! Tell your friends!

HelpWanted

Comfortable with Heights?

Handy with tools? Ready to save the planet – one roof at a time? Installers needed now – Apply today! 970-382-2624 solarworks.marcy@gmail.com

Wanted

Copier Repair

Looking for someone who can repair a Ricoh copier: 970-799-2873

Classes/Workshops

Kids Yoga Camp

June 22–26 | 9 AM–3 PM | Elementaryaged kids | A fun + enriching experience! Movement • Mindfulness • Outdoor adventure • Art • Storytelling Anuyoga school.com | 585-613-1981

Cool Under Fire

A workshop (for ages 8-80) treating burnout from stress & anxiety. Learn how to feel centered and keep calm despite daily dumpster fires. VFW 5:30-7:30pm on 5.15.26. Info and tickets online: du rangoaikido.com

ForSale

Vintage 1977 Airstream Land Yacht

$15k 970-759-0551

Reruns Home Furnishings

Furniture, mirrors, lamps, cool artwork and more! Looking to consign smaller pieces. 572 E. 6th Ave. Open Mon.-Sat.

Services

Electric Repair

Roof, gutter cleaning, fence, floors, walls, flood damage, mold, heating service.

Child Guidance-Storybook Gardens

970-403-3347

Boiler Service - Water Heater

Serving Durango over 30 years. Brad, 970-759-2869. Master Plbg Lic #179917

BodyWork

Your Mom Wants a Massage for Mother's Day! Meg Bush, LMT 970759-0199

Lymphatic Drainage Massage

Intentional full body fluid movement. Meg Bush, LMT 970-759-0199

CommunityService

Durango Autumn Arts Festival presented by the Durango Arts Center

is accepting applications. The fine arts and crafts juried show takes place Sept. 19-20, 2026, and serves as the DAC’s signature fundraising event. Application deadline is May 1, and there is a $50 nonrefundable application fee. Forms are available at www.durangoarts.org.

SW Community Justice Coalition

Support restorative justice in Southwest Colorado. Learn more at southwestjus tice.org or southwestjustice.org.

Dog Fosters Needed

Parker’s Animal Rescue needs fosters to provide temporary homes for rescued dogs. We supply crates, food, leashes, toys, support and vet visits. Apply at: parkersanimalrescue.com.

HaikuMovieReview

‘Dust Bunny’ A mix of ‘Monsters, Inc.’, ‘Matilda’, and ‘Leon: The Professional’ – Lainie Maxson

Grief Counseling

The Grief Center of SW Colo. is offering free grief counseling for children, teens and young adults. Please contact grief center swco@gmail.com or 970-764-7142

The Maker Lab in Bodo Park Tools, learning and equipment featuring metal and woodworking, laser cutting, 3D printing, electronics and sewing. www.themakerlab.org

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