December 10, 2007 by Duke Chronicle Print Archives

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Trustees OK major changes to financial aid by

David Graham THE CHRONICLE

The Board ofTrustees approved sweeping changes to the University’s financial aid apparatus during its meeting Saturday. Under the new system, parental con-

tributions to tuition will be eliminated for students with family incomes of less than $60,000 annually. In addition, students with family incomes of $40,000 or less will see loans replaced by grants. Students from families with incomes between $60,000 and $lOO,OOO will see

reductions in loans on a graduated basis, and students above thatline will have loans capped at $5,000 per year. The changes will take effect in Fall ’OB for all students receiving need-based aid. “The main thing we’re interested in is

Bob Stee|

affordability, making people understand that Duke really is affordable,” President Richard

MICHIGAN 67 95 DUKE

Brodhead said at press conference Saturday. ‘You don’t have to be able to pay the price tag to be able to go to Duke.” University officials said the changes are the first fruits of the Financial Aid Initiative, a $3OO-million push to raise funds that is slated to end in one year. Of the target, $230 million will go toward undergraduate need-based aid. Brodhead said in a statement that the initiative has reached $240 million. “Duke is one of a handful of universities that’s committed to a philosophy of need-

AID ON PAGE 7

review is

positive

Cameron

David Graham THE CHRONICLE

Ben Cohen

THE CHRONICLE

Nearly 12 minutes into Saturday’s game against Michigan, head coach Mike Krzyzewski was not pleased with Duke’s effort. The Blue Devils only led 17-12—a byproduct of slow transition defense and several missed layups on the other end of the court—when Krzyzewski asked for a 30-second timeout. All it took for No. 7 Duke to hit its stride was a scolding from the coach. “He yelled at us pretty bad,” freshman Nolan Smith said. “All season, he’s never yelled at us like that. As players, we had to respond. We all knew he was upset, and we don’t like to make him yell and get upset see m. bball on page io

MAYA

ROBINSON/THE CHRONICLE

Freshman guard Nolan Smith drives through Michigan guard Kelvin Grady. Smith finished with 17 points and 5 rebounds in 20 minutes of play. Duke plays again next Monday against Albany.

Hanukkah lights up campus by

Julia Love

THE CHRONICLE

Freshman Aaron Dmiszewicki lights a menorah on the West Campus Plaza.

SEE FINANCIAL

Brodhead

Duke drops Michigan in by

blind admission,” Brodhead said. “Whatever the family can pay we expect them to pay, and if they can’t, Duke helps them along. We’ve taken these steps to guarantee true* affordability going along.” He added that the University will strive to make the changes known to this year’s applicant pool. Although Duke does not aim for a particular socioeconomic demographic profile, Brodhead said, the changes may result in greater enrollment

Bobbing to and fro outside Alpine Bagels, an inflatable menorah in hues of neon wishes Blue Devils a “Happy Chanukah.” The eight-day Jewish festival of lights is celebrated anywhere between late November and December depending on the Gregorian calendar and does not always coincide with the University’s winter break. But for the first time in three years, the 10 percent of the Duke student body that identifies itself as Jewish is observing the holiday while finishing up classes and studying for finals, said Rebecca Levenson, interim director for Jewish life. Freshman Marcus Kaplan said he was be-

wildered by the vibrant symbol of the season but appreciates the spiritual reminder as he celebrates Hanukkah 150 miles from his Virginia home. “We have plenty of [Hanukkah] traditions in our house and being away from them this year has been kind of strange,” Kaplan said. “Reminders like that keep you thinking about the holiday.” To help students simulate the familial atmosphere of the holiday, the Freeman Center for Jewish Life has hosted public candle lighting ceremonies each night of Hanukkah. Latkes and Libations, the premier Hanukkah event ON PAGE

A Board of Trustees committee charged with reviewing President Richard Brodhead’s performance since his has appointment “affirmed” the president’s “compelling vision” for Duke. Trustees received the report of the committee—chaired by Board Vice Chair Dan Blue, Law ’73— during their meeting this weekend. Brodhead “The review affirmed President Brodhead’s leadership of Duke,” Blue said at a press conference Saturday. “We think he has articulated a compelling vision for what the University is and can become. There was general support, overwhelming support for the leadership that the president is providing.” The review is standard procedure for Duke deans and officers, who are typically appointed to five-year terms and reviewed in their third year. The committee’s report will not be made public, and John Bumess, senior vice president for public affairs and government relations, said it is unusual for the University to even discuss such reports. The Brodhead review, however, was subject to greater scrutiny than most in light of sometimes-harsh criticism ofhis handling of the Duke lacrosse case. According to a University statement, Blue’s committee heard from more than 500 people, including alumni, students, faculty, staff and nonaffiliated individuals. SEE BRODHEAD ON PAGE

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Panhel pushes u rush start date Lax cop by

Gottlieb reassigned

Tina Mao

THE CHRONICLE

The Panhellenic Association’s recruitment process will begin before the start of the spring semester this year, a return to

the schedules of 2005 and 2006. Last year, recruitment began the Friday after classes started and spanned two weekends, said Todd Adams, the assistant dean of students for fraternity and sorority life. He added that several factors—including the academic calendar, the residence hall opening date and the availability of campus space—allowed Panhel to schedule events beginning Jan. 7, two days before classes resume Jan. 9. “Every year, the Panhellenic Association looks at the academic calendar to see what’s feasible,” Adams said. “This year, it worked out so that there are spaces available before classes resume and there’s an early enough move-in time that it can accommodate people returning.” He said because the academic calendar shifts annually, these changes are part of a cycle to prevent students from ending their winter breaks too soon after New Year’s Day. “We start classes on Jan. 9 this year,” Adams said. “Each year, [the first day of classes] moves up a day until we can move it back again.” Panhel President Kate Guthrie, a senior, said the decision to hold recruitment earlier was largely logistical. “Having been here for four years, it’s not really a change,” she said. “It’s going back to what it was like my first two years at Duke. Last year, there was no way to move back into the dorms early because it fell too close to New Year’s. Ideally, we would like to do this every year, but sometimes it’s not possible.” This reversion was strongly supported by sorority chapters and is viewed favorably by chapter presidents, Panhel delegates and chapter recruitment chairs alike, said senior Samantha Prouty, Panhel vice president of recruitment and

Sgt. Mark Gottlieb, the lead investigator in the lacrosse case, was reassigned to a new position within the Durham Police Department last month. In his new position, Gottlieb will oversee several patrol units for the department. Gottlieb is currently under investigation because of allegations that he was involved in

Freshman women receive bids to different soroities last January.Sorority rush this year will start Jan.7. members and then some formal surveys of the [potential new members] and we found across the board that they would’ve rather come back before classes because with schoolwork, it was just kind of hectic,” she said. “It’s harder to start second semester that way.” Prouty said that with more than 400 girls registered, Panhel’s recruitment efforts have attracted a total number “right on track” with last year’s rush turnout. Many prospective sorority members said they also sup*port an earlier recruitment schedule. “I actually kind oflike it because then

membership.

“After recruitment [last year], we did some informal surveys of the chapter

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it doesn’t interfere with school as much,” said Angela Nicholas, a freshman. “I don’t mind having to come back early.” Although freshman Jessica Thomson said she initially wasn’t happy about a shortened winter break, she now thinks the planned schedule will work well. “I was sort of annoyed at first because didn’t want to come back early from I break, but now that I think about it, it’s nice to not have classes and events conflicting,” she said. “Some people I know had to change their flights to come back early, but other than that, people seem to be pretty okay with it.”

an illegal photo lineup procedure that resulted in the indictments of former men’s lacrosse players Collin Finnerty, Reade Seligmann and David Evans, Trinity ’O6. Lawyers representing the exonerated players alleged that an April 4 procedure run by Gottlieb was unlawful because it included only photos of then members of the lacrosse team—all of whom were considered suspects at the time. He is also named as a defendant in the civil suit fded by the former Duke students because of his disputed involvement in the case. It is unclear as to whether the reassignment was a result of the ongoing investigation, but ABC Eyewitness News reported that the officer’s job may be at stake based on the outcome of the DPD investigation. The reassignment is part of a regular routine, a police spokesperson said.

—from staffreports

CORRECTION A caption in Friday's edition incorrectly identified a woman in a photo as Nancy Nasher.

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Haltom prepares to leave 39-year ‘home’ by

Sean Moroney THE CHRONICLE

When an independent school in Manhattan offered University SecretaryAllison Haltom a job in its college guidance office in the spring of 1976, the then-assistant director of University admissions had to consider the opportunity to leave Durham for the Big Apple. “I’ve always wanted to try new things, and so I had to think about the offer,” said Haltom, who is also a University vice president.“But honesdy, I was a little scared venturing to New York City, so I didn’t accept the position.” As chance would have it, Haltom’s choice to stay at Duke would turn out for the best, she said. Later that summer, Haltom met her now-husband of almost 30 years David McClay, a professor of biology at Duke, and took a position in the Office ofAlumni Giving. “Had I gone to New York, I would not have met my husband, who has been the best thing that has ever happened to me, along with .my children,” Haltom said. Nine years later, the lifelong North Carolina resident became the University secretary in 1986—a post from which she will retire at the end of December. As University secretary, Haltom manages the activities of the Board of Trustees, serves as the University marshal—which oversees major ceremonies like commencement —and has either chaired or served on most hiring committees for the University’s senior officials, including the search committee for President Richard Brodhead. “She makes the trains run on time,” said John Burness, senior vice president for gov-

University Secretary Allison Haltom will retire from her post of more than 20 years at the endof December. emment affairs and public relations, whom Haltom considers one of her best friends. “Whoever is the University secretary has the inevitable position of both working for the President and working for the 80ard.... We’re loaded with big thinkers, and if you don’t have someone in the group who pays attention to the details, die logistics of managing 4(k)dd people [on the Board]

will not get done.” When she retires, the majority of Haltom’s responsibilities will be divided between Richard Riddell, special assistant to the president, who will handle the larger duties dealing with the Board, and Laura Eastwood, the current associate University secretary, who will, handle many of the dayto-day communications with Trustees.

“The University is splitting Allison’s position into two jobs because they don’t believe one person can do it,” Bumess said. “What happens sometimes is you find really competent people like Allison who can juggle many different responsibilities and end up with them because they are so damn good at it. And then when they leave, you realize that the responsibilities are more than one person can handle.” Haltom said although life after Duke—which she has called home since she came to the University as an undergraduate student in the Woman’s College in 1968 will be difficult, she is looking forward to “cleaning out her closet.” “Both my literal and figurative closets,” Haltom said. “My literal ones at home, there are some things that need to be cleaned out and thrown away. My figu-* rative closets I consider my mind. I am looking forward to having the opportunity to reading something because I want to read it.” Outside the Duke community, Haltom has worked closely with the Hill Center, a school for children with learning disabilities. “I’ve been on the board to help raise some money for the school, and I’m going to continue to do that,” Haltom said. “It’s a place where if we can get them early enough before self-esteem issues come in play we can make a difference.” One of Haltom’s chief reasons for retiring, though, is to have greater flexibility to travel with her husband. “He spends a month a year in the south of France. It’s not bad at all,” Haltom said. “There’s a school in Nice where I’m thinking about brushing up on my French.”

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Duke researchers link robots, monkey brains by

Jessica Lighter THE CHRONICLE

The mind is a powerful tool or can at least be used to operate one, according to a recent study at Duke University Medical Center. Researchers at the Duke’s Nicolelis Lab are conducting research that uses monkey brain activity to control a robot as part of the Computational Brain Project of the International Cooperative Research Project of the Japan Science and Technology Agency. With their work, the researchers said they hope to develop an artificial walking device that can be operated by brain cell activity and believe that their findings will have significant implications for severely paralyzed individuals. “Ultimately, someone who can’t walk can regain the ability to control some sort of robotic skeleton,” said Joseph O’Doherty, a biomedical engineering graduate student working in the lab. “By thinking, we hope that a paralyzed person can move again.” —

force and velocity, and will be For the project, the researchers trained two rhesus macaque given visual feedback as it watches monkeys to walk upright on a the robot on a screen. This feedback loop will help treadmill. As the monkeys walked forward and backward at varying the monkey refine its movements speeds, the researchers traced the and may help paralyzed individuactivity of the brain cells involved als retrieve motor functions, Lebin generating the leg movements. edev added. Although there have been conThey then used a set of mathematical algorithms to convert this cerns about brain damage, Lebeactivity into a three-dimensional dev said none has occurred. “If you stimulate the brain over map of the monkeys’ movements. and over you could damage someThese predictions were later adhe said. “But we have adjusted to operate a humanoid rothe justed parameters so nothing bot in Japan. “We are working on sending like that has happened.” In a related study, researchers at signals to the researchers in Japan NicolelisLab developed a meththe the and have the robot operate at same time the signals are sent,” od for owl monkeys to control a robotic arm with theirbrain signals. said Mikhail Lebedev, a senior reAlthough both studies use neusearch scientist in neurobiology. Researchers are working to ral activity to predict and maniputransmit realistic feedback from late movement, the new study focusr the humanoid robot back to the es on controlling leg movements, a more complex process than conmonkey in the form of somatotrolling arm movements. In addisensory and visual inputs, Lebedev said. The monkey will be tion, the new study uses touch and given somatosensory feedback in position information, whereas the the form of the robot’s position, previous study did not.

Chabad and the FCJL have distributed hundreds of menorahs to students for use in their dormitory rooms. Bluming said more students than ever are displaying theirs this year. “It’s important to engage your faith. I think there’s a lot of a held annually at Armadillo Grill, drew record-breaking students who feel the need to do somediing active,” he said. said students Levenson night, Thursday 125 Rabbi Michael Goldman of the The candle lighting ceremonies FCJL said for freshmen who are have been held in a variety ofvenues [Hanukmuch about away from home for the first time, “There’s so both East and West on campuses, it can seem impossible to enjoy ranging from the East Union Buildkah] that’s about the comfort Hanukkah without family. ing steps to the Alpha Epsilon Pi fra‘There’s so much about [HanukstrucHanukkah happens common room and are of home. ternity that’s about the comfort of kah] tured so students can either drop in table.” around the room dining he said. “Hanukkah happens home,” the entire as a study break or spend around the dining room table.” Levenson said. Michael Goldman evening celebrating, Rabbi Amanda Robison said Freshman Chabad, ajewish campus group, she has stayed connected to though the has worked hard to “encourage candle lighting ceremopublic display ofthe menorah” during Hanukkah, said Rabbi her family in New York by coordinating at the FCJL. with her nies, she has a new forged family peers Zalman Bluming, executive director of Chabad at Duke. In can be campus said the on holiday celebrating Bluming inflatable outside Bamenorah Alpine addition to placing the for students. gel, rabbis have spent theweek driving a “Hanukkah-mobile” a valuable source of personal growth “There’s something beautiful about building your own topped with a menorah and playing traditional Jewish tunes he said. community,” said. between East and West, Bluming

HANUKKAH from page 1

Students have been able to light candles for menorahs in their dorms.

Mikhail Lebedev (left),a seniorresearch scientist at the Nicolelis Lab,and Joseph O'Doherty (right), a BME graduate student,conducted research using monkey brain activity.

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6 1 MONDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2007

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MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007 I 7

FINANCIAL AlDfrompagel for lower-income students The new system resembles trumpeted renovations to the financial-aid structures at other elite universities and liberal arts colleges, exceeding some but not going as far as others. The changes do appear to put Duke in die vanguard of a movement to reform financial aid. Princeton University gained national attention in 2001 when it announced that it would eliminate all loans for students qualifying for need-based aid. Davidson, Amherst and Williams colleges have also eliminated loans. Harvard University in 2004 abolished family contributions for students with family incomes ofless than $60,000. Like Duke, it has not fully eliminated loans. Although retaining some loans, Duke will end a pattern of giving students larger loan packages each year they are enrolled. Board Chair Robert Steel, Trinity ’73, said the plan’s near-immediate implementation reflects the University’s enthusiasm to make change quickly. Brodhead added that the focus on reducing costs for middle-class students—between the $60,000 and $lOO,OOO annual-income marks—is a second distinguishing characteristic of the new system. According to a University statement, officials expect the changes to benefit approximately 2,500 students, with the average aid recipient gaining $2,500 annually in support. Brodhead estimated that in addition to a standard yearly increase in financial aid, the plan will infuse approximately $7 million dollars of aid into the system next year. “With the changes we are making... it actually may cost an eligible family less to attend Duke than a publicly supported university,” Director of Financial Aid Jim Belvin said in the statement.

The

two most noteworthy articles of business at this weekend's Board of Trustees meeting were the major changes to the financial aid structure and the report of a committee reviewing President Richard Brodhead's performance. But the Board found time for a number of other items as well:

The Board OKed the first phase of renovation of Wallace Wade Stadium. The $5-million phase will add two restrooms and a concession stand and study other possible improvements. Trustees approved a $9.5-million project to build two buildings with a combined 20,000 sq. ft. of space to expand the Lemur Center. Architect Cesar Belli presented a "conceptual framework" for designing the new Central Campus. Belli is founder of Belli Clarke Belli Architects, the firm chosen to lead the redesign. Director of Athletics Joe Alieva reported on the athletic strategic plan's progress. The strategic planning committee aims to have its recommendations and plan prepared to present to the Trustees this spring. Trustees approved a joint Bh.D. degree in German studies with the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. The Board gave s on using science and research to improv •

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BRODHEAD from page 1 But Brodhead and the Board are privy to the findings. Blue emphasized that the report is not an up-or-down recommendation on reappointment but rather seeks to provide feedback to Trustees and to the president on what he is doing well and where he can improve. “I’m glad the review was so thorough, and I was glad to learn of places where my vision is clear and compelling to people,” Brodhead said. “There were some suggestions, and I’ll do my best to profit from them.” He declined to list any of the areas for improvement suggested to him by the report.

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President RichardBrodhead was given a positive review for his leadership

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8 I MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007

SUMMIT from page 2

Nice headpiece

A male student streaks through Professor Warren Warren's Chemistry 21 lecture in the Biological Sciences building Friday afternoon.Following the spectacle, Warren said,"After all, there wasn't much to see in that case," to which the students responded with thunderous applause.

markets. They also viewed the conditions as an EU attempt to meddle in African affairs. Friction between the continents comes as many African countries are developing strong trade ties with China, whose influence has soared on the back of billions of dollars in aid and investment. The EU is concerned that the search by China and other rising powers for oil and other resources across Africa comes with no demands for democracy and human rights. Africans, though, say the Chinese come willing to negotiate as equals. Officials from both continents said the presence of more than 70 heads of government at the summit showed leaders on both continents wanted better relations. But they left the Portuguese capital with only a broad statement of intentions. Human rights and aid groups expressed exasperation. Save the Children said in a statement the summit was “a high-profile exercise oflittle substance.” Differences over the human rights record of Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe and measures to help end the conflict in the western Sudanese region of Darfur dogged the event. Asked what was his message to Europe as he arrived at the summit venue Sunday, Mugabe said nothing but raised his arm and made a fist. German Chancellor Angela Merkel said Saturday the EU was “united” in con-

demning Mugabe for what they view as his economic mismanagement, failure to curb corruption and contempt for democracy. British Prime Minister Gordon Brown stayed away from the summit in protest against Mugabe’s attendance. Mugabe was reportedly scathing toward his European critics in his speech at a closed session. “He said criticisms were trumped-up charges against Zimbabwe and the result of arrogance from the EU,” according to a European official who attended the summit, but who spoke on condition of anonymity because she was not authorized to discuss the details publicly. Ghanian President John Kufuor, current chair of the AU, said the organization supports mediation efforts among Zimbabwe’s main political parties being led by South African President Thabo Mbeki and aimed at political reform. But he insisted that meddling from outside Africa would be unhelpful. “We want to encourage a homegrown solution so there will be a restoration of normalcy and good governance for the people of Zimbabwe,” Kufuor said. Measures to help end the conflict in the western Sudanese region of Darfur were another point ofcontention. Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir has so far refused to allow non-Africans into a 26,000-strong U.N.-A.U. peacekeeping force planned for Darfur. EU nations, meanwhile, have failed to come up with the needed military hardware to support the operation.

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7am-Bpm

7am-4pm

9am-spm

9am-7pm

ALPINE CAFE AT DCRI

7am-4pm

7am-2:3opm

Closed

ARMADILLO GRILL

1 lam-12mid

llam-12mid

llam-2am

1 lam-10pm

llam-7pm

THE BELLA UNION

Bam-lam

Bam-12mid

10am-12mid

10am-Bpm

BLUE EXPRESS

Bam-2pm

Closed

CHICK-FILA

9am-7pm

9am-4pm

Closed

COSMIC CANTINA CART

11am-4pm

llam-4pm

Closed

DOLCE VITA (FRENCH SCIENCE) FACULTY COMMONS *Social Hour

Bam-spm ll;30am-2pm 4:3opm-s:3opm* s:3opm-9pm

Bam-spm

ll:30am-2pm

ll:30am-2pm 4:3opm-s:3opm* s:3opin-9pm

Closed Closed

4:3opm-s:3opm* s;3opm-9pm

Bam-spm ll:30am-2pm 4:3opm-s:3opm* 5.30pm-9pm

FREEMAN CENTER

spm-Bpm

Shabbat: 7pm-B:3opm

GRACE’S CAFE (TRENT) GREAT FIALL

10am-9pm 7:3oam-9:45am

10am-9pm 7:3oam-9:45am llam-2pm spm-Bpm

10am-9pm 7:3oam-9;45am

10am-9pm 7:3oam-9:45am llam-2pm

Closed

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spm-Bpm

10am-9pm 7:3oam-9:45am llam-2pm spm-Bpm

GREEN TANGO CART

llam-4pm

llaxn-4pm

llam-4pm

Closed

THE LOOP

llam-2am

7:3oam-llam*

7;3oam-llam*

7:3oam-llam*

llam-2am 7:3oam-llam*

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MARKETPLACE *Freshman Board Plan

llam-2am 7:3oam-llam*

12pm-2:3opm spm-9pm*

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MCDONALD’S

Open 24 hours

Open

Open 24 hours

12am-llpm

NASHER CAFE

Closed

10am-4:3opm

10am-B:3opm

10am-4;3opm

10am-4:3opm

12pm-4:3opm

PAULY DOGS

llam-6pm

Closed

THE PERK

7:3oam-lam

7;3oam-lam

7:3oam-lam

7;3oam-lam

7:3oam-Bpm

Closed

QUENCHERS

12pm-9pm

Closed

THE REFECTORY

Bam-2:3opm

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Bam-2:3opm

Closed

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7;3oam-3pm

7:3oam-3pm

Closed

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1 lam-1Opm

1lam-1 Opm

1lam-10pm

llam-Bpm

Closed

TOMMY’S

spm-12mid

spm-3am

spm-12mid

TRINITY CAFE

Bam-lam

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Bam-7pm

TWINNIE’S

Bam-6pm

Bam-7pm

Bam-2pm

Closed

VICTORIA’S SWEETS CART WASHINGTON DUKE INN

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MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007 | 5

THE CHRONICLE

Read here: distraction guaranteed

you’re reading this, you shouldn’t be. You’re probably in the library, taking an unprecedented 16th study break of the day—and now you have gotten truly

desperate.

Don’t worry; this column will not be dedicated to overarching, ambiguous theories about human beings or life in general. Been there. Done that. Also been overly criticized for being there and doing that. Instead, I’m giving the people what they want: random, interesting facts that will properly distract you during finals. Recently, the blog “Oddee,” which dedicates itself to di§cussing “the oddities of the world,” released a list of history’s most bizarre scientific papers. In addition, Alex Boese just wrote “Elephants on Acid,” a book that meticulously chronicles the most ridiculous experiments in science. Both of these are fairly long

reads and I know that you are busy, so let me boil them down into the four most important facts you need to know: 1) Counmusic try will kill us all. A 1992 study by SteStack ven and Jim Gundlach ■

Jordan axt

palindromes

discovered that

greater the

dedicated to country music in a region, the greater the white suicide rate. Stack and Gundlach wrote that country music nurtures a self-destructive mood through “its concerns with problems common in the suicidal population, such as marital dis-

cord, alcohol abuse, and alienation from work.” The results were independent of divorce, poverty and number of missing teeth. Such a finding is why I think we need to reconfigure the Axis ofEvil—to all three Dixie Chicks. 2) In 50 years, we will all be dating our computers. OK, so maybe not our computers, but definitely their robot offspring. Dr. David Levy, an artificial intelligence researcher at the University of Maiastricht, believes (or should we say, hopes) that “by around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots.” What will cause society to accept robotic love? Easy, says Levy. All we need is a “story like, ‘I had sex with a robot, and it was great!’” to appear someplace like Cosmo Magazine” and the rest of the country will have to jump on the bandwagon. And from what I have read in Cosmo, such an article can’t be too far off. I can see it now; “100 Hundred Ways to Please Your Robot.” 3) The art of nachos is also a science. It’s a situation we all know intimately: We have just lightly dusted our tortilla chips with cheddar cheese and placed them in the microwave. But how much time should I give my nachos? And at what power setting? Well, it turns out that the most reliable temperature interval to carry out ultrasonic measurements in cheddar cheese is identified as between zero and 17 degrees Celsius. In a paper titled “Ultrasonic Velocity in Cheddar Cheese as Affected by Temperature,” Italian researchers discovered the most conducive heat in which to experiment on cheese. The paper reads (I

assume) like an Orgo textbook: “At 0 T 35°C ultrasonic velocity was 1590 to 1696 Ms, at 0 and 35°C, respectively. Differential <

Scanning Calorimetry thermograms linked the temperature dependence of ultrasonic velocity

fat melting.” The article was im-

mediately regarded as a breakthrough in chemistry, food engineering and Duke’s Beta chapter. 4) Everyone has a little Michael Vick in them. All you social psychology students should know about Stanley Milgram (and if you don’t, you’ve really got to start studying). Milgram researched the laws of obedience in humans. He famously discovered that people will keep shocking a man who appears to be in serious pain as long as the experimenter tells them to keep going. Such a finding is bad enough, but apparently it extends to cute, defenseless puppies as well. Charles Sheridan and Richard King had undergraduate college students just like us shock a puppy if it failed to complete a task. Yes, many participants openly wept, but 20 out of the 26 subjects kept pushing the shock button until its maximum voltage. Perhaps most surprisingly, all 13 women in the experiment kept shocking the adorable puppy. If you didn’t know it by now, this should scientifically prove that we are all awful, awful people. So study hard, because maybe one day you too will be able to revolutionize snack food, build my next date or add to the mountain of evidence that proves that we are all jerks.

Jordan Axt

is a Trinity junior. This is his

final column.

Spring 2008 Undergraduate Literature Courses Space Still Available! LIT 183.01

“Researching the City”

Professor Susan Willis

TH 10:05 AM

12:25 PM

What is Durham? Is it a suburb of Raleigh, an annex of Duke, or a bedroom for RTF? Is Durham a city? If so, what is its future now that it is no longer defined by tobacco and textiles? How do its changing demographics suggest a future? This course focuses on research, both practical and archival, into what makes a city, using Durham as our model. Readings on the urban and suburban will be tested in the field through a variety of walking tours and investigative encounters with Durham. 205.01 205.02 100.01 110.01 112K.01 LIT 12085.01 LIT 15185.01 LIT 1515.01 LIT 1615.02 LIT 162Z.02..... LIT 162Z5.03 LIT 162Z5.04 LIT 181A.0Q1 LIT LIT LIT LIT LIT

LIT 182.01

JAZZ POETRY & POETICS OF JAZZ THE MODERNIST NOVEL INTRO TO CULTURAL STUDIES INTRODUCTION TO FILM ITALIAN CINEMA WHAT IS CINEMA? POPULAR FICTIONS ...AMERICAN POETRY: BRYANT TO STEVENS CULTURES OF US IMPERIALISM MODERN JAPANESE LIT & CULTURE

MAN/HU-MAN RIGHTS/HU-MAN-ITIES AMERICA IN BLACK & BROWN MARXISM & SOCIETY INTRO TO INTERCULTURAL PHILOSOPHY

WF 02:50 PM ...WF 08:30 AM ...TUTH 11:40 AM MW 04:25 PM MW 02:50 PM TUTH 02:50 PM MW 10:05 AM MW 10:05 AM TUTH 02:50 PM TU 01:15 PM TU 04:25 PM WF 08:30 AM MWF 10:05 AM TUTH 02:50 PM

04:05 PM 09:45 AM 12:55 PM 07:15 PM 04:05 PM 04:05 PM 11:20 AM 11:20 AM 04:05 PM 04:15 PM 06:55 PM 09:45 AM 11:20 AM 04:05 PM

6 | MONDAY, DECEMBER 10, 2007

THE CHRONICLE

Library Schedule MON-THURS

FRIDAY

SATURDAY December 15

SUNDAY >er 1

Perkins Library

Open 24 hours

Close at 6pm

Biology/Env. Science

Bam-llpm

Bam-spm

Closed

Library Services Center

Bam-4:3opm

1 lam-1 pm

Closed

Lilly

Open 24 hours

Close at 7pm

Music Library

Bam-10pm

10am-spm

2pm-10pm

Rare Books, Manuscripts, Special Collections

9am-spm

lpm-spm

Closed

University Archives

9am-spm

lpm-spm

Closed

Vesic Library

Sam-Midnight

Bam-spm

llam-spm

Closed

Come find out Drop by your commons room for a break from studying, a sugar fix, and some Froshlife info. We’ll be on hand to answer all of your questions about this year’s festival and what you can do to get Involved.

Oh, and free t-shirts.

Jarvis AycocSr Wilson Epworth

Giles

monday, december 10 9 pm

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Southgate Randolph G~R Bell Tower

tuesday, december 11

9 pm

Wednesday, december 9 pm

FROSHLIFE JL.

V-/ JL JL first-year movie festival

www.duke.edu/firoshlife

MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007 | 7

THE CHRONICLE

Chronic(le) Tlhis

week I had a wonderfully hilarious column all written and ready to go. It was also wildly controversial and, despite my best efforts at self-censorship, the damn thing was still too hot for TV. Unfortunately, although probably for the better, the Chronicle editors emphatically and swiftly vetoed that work of genius. So because it is now Sunday, and I need to turn in a draft of something in the next four hours, you are getting my cliche endof-the-semester “what I’ve learned” column that you have probably read 20 times before. This is what I get for agreeing to write a column dan belzer during exam week, when I w.w.j.d. should be working on my history paper (sorry, Professor Morrow!). Because I am lazy, and it’s easier, I am going to write this as a list. We’ll call it “The 10 Things Daniel Has Learned This Semester.” Enjoy. 1) Most students don’t read The Chronicle; even convincing your friends to read it is difficult. I literally have to open the thing in front of their faces to get a lot of them to bother to glance at my column. On the offchance that those who do open the paper up actually reach the editorial pages, you have got to be able to get them past that first paragraph. Bottom line, I consider a column a success, not if it gets great reviews, but simply if I can tell that everyone who read it actually finished it. 2) My most loyal readers are those who absolutely despise me. There’s nothing more satisfying then reading hateful responses to a satirical or social-commentary column. Joke’s on you, a-hole, you cared enough to read it. 3) There are people out there who hold grudges longer than I do, as is evidenced by certain people who frequent The Chronicle Online comments feature. I’ll leave it at that. 4) Signing my name to a piece of writing is exponentially more rewarding than anonymity, even if the columns are nowhere near as fun to write. 5) Writing for The Chronicle is not cool, no matter how much I like to pretend it is. Whatever, I enjoy it. 6) Monday, Monday was about 233,483,098,029,832 times better when it was anonymous. I think it’s time we bring Monday, Monday back to its glory, back when it was still acceptable to crack jokes on campus figures, institutions and life. Plus, it was always so much fun trying to figure out who the hell was writing it. 7) While it’s no fun to have people hate on you anonymously, there is a certain level of social validation that comes with seeing your name appear as a thread onJuicyCampus.com. Ponder that next time you think you are ruining someone’s life by starting a hate thread about them. 8) People are significantly nicer to your face when they think you are important/influential/kind of a big deal. That doesn’t mean, they like you, care any more about you or aren’t talking disgusting amounts of crap about you behind your back. Omg, obvi, lol! 9) Besides being a social lubricant, alcohol can help dramatically in other facets of University life. For example, writing a column. 10) No matter how obvious you think it is, some people will never pick up on the sarcasm. It was fun, Duke. See you next semester, every week! Dan Belzer is a Trinity senior. This is his final column of the

semester.

Crazy in the cornfields (and more) knew this year’s Republican presidential nomination would be a more interesting affair Ithan its Democratic counterpart, and that’s generally been true. But despite a smattering of newsworthy events over the summer, things seemed to be in stasis until very recently. Former Massachusetts governor %y J' Mitt Romney led in crucial early states, but forgill stevens mer NewYork City mayor la droite, c*est mol Rudy Giuliani had led in looked national polls. It like it was going to be a two-man race, but now we’ve got a game on our hands.

Everyone

Back in August, and into September, former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee was polling in single digits in lowa and everywhere else. Last week’s Newsweek poll has him at 39 percent in lowa, more than doubling Mitt Romney, who had previously led almost every single Republican poll taken in the state. I can’t say I’m all that surprised. Huckabee’s caught a wave at the right moment. His social conservatism and economic populism (by the standards of his party, at least) and the suspicion with which many view Romney’s Mormonism proved a volatile mixture. Romney’s address on his faith Thursday morning succeeded in making him look presidential and won plaudits, but it looked suspiciously like a defensive response to a former nobody; SEE STEVENS ON PAGE

THE CHRONICLE

8 I MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007

THE Daily Crossword ACROSS 1 Deceived 7 Leftovers 13 Creates cryptic messages 15 Kneecap 16 Delaware feeder 18 Hens' homes 19 Singer Sumac 20 Derisive 21 Soothing balm 22 Proust character 24 Haloed one. in Le Havre 25 Chat-room haha 26 Kissed noisily 28 His: Fr. 29 Comic Dangerfield 31 Mower's paths 33 Lay one's hands on Tar Pits 34 La 35 Geological layers 37 Indian instruments 39 Sigh of

satisfaction

40 Makes an inference 42 Pretend pie ingredient 44 Lummox 46 Some IRAs 47 Corn

concoction

48 Ornamental needle boxes 50 Sidekick 51 Rounds of applause 52 Leo, e.g. 55 Draws a breath 56 Penetrator 57 Restraint 58 Kind of spoon?

DOWN 1 Agave drink 2 Beyond black and white 3 Persuasion 4 Jeweler’s eyepiece 5 Ice cream brand

Edited by Wayne Robert Williams

THE Daily Crossword

Edited by Wayne Robert Williams

ACROSS

6 State on the Atl. Coast 7 Mineo of

“Exodus"

8 NFL snappers 9 Queen of Spain 10 1959 #3 hit by David Seville 11 Solemn vows 12 Indian wraps: var. 14 Tampa Bay bridge 15 Supply of lumber 17 Apple product 22 Blast furnace 23 Chat-room neophytes 26 J.C. or Sammy of golf 27 Pub projectiles 30 Austrian article 32 Earl Grey, for one 35 Soup cracker 36 Takes as one's own 37 Drag laboriously

Introducing

38 Ice-cream treats 39 Gets 100 ona test 41 Beehive State 43 Catch sight of from afar 45 Singer Shore or Washington 47 Southern California

ballplayer 49 Fish choice 51 Gardener, at times 53 -de-lance 54 Sharply angled turn

1 Military student 6 100 square meters 9 Hutchinson and Hathaway 14 Fervor 15 Apiece 16 Actress Talia 17 Climbing vine 18 Period 19 Of an arm bone 20 Hits short of the green intentionally 22 "SportsCenter" stn. 24 Fruit drink 25 Error 27 Transgression 28 Fatal Greek gift 32 Frozen surface 33 Defaulter's opposite number 34 Anthropology subject 35 Revival shout 36 Lug along 37 Wernher Braun 38 Violates 45 Begley and Wynn 46 Affability 47 Jeans brand 48 More unsteady 49 Sharpton and Gore 50 Nudge 51 "O Pioneers!" writer 56 Trumpet blast 58 Mind reading 60 Not a soul 61 Madagascar primate 62 Carry with effort 63 Slobber 64 Utopias 65 Therapeutic resort 66 Wiggly 1 2 3 4

DOWN Telephone Opera song 6/6/44 Time periods

By Ed Voile

Gillette, WY

5 Shocks to the

system

6 Imitator 7 Altar screen 8 School supply items 9 Into pieces 10 Org. of Flyers and Jets 11 "Do I Move You?" singer 12 Wipes out completely 13 Tranquility Brooches 21 23 Mexican money 26 Ursula Andress • film 28 Like a snowplowed highway 29 Made over in a new style 30 Keyless-entry phrase? 31 Singer Bon Jovi 36 Bo Derek movie

38 Chronic complainers 39 “Typee" sequel 40 Buffalo coins 41 Begins again 42 Diamond stat 43 Guinness or Baldwin 44 Open porch 52 Actor Rip 53 Oater star

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Gibson 54 "Dukes of Hazzard" spinoff 55 Depend (on) 57 Shutout spoiler 59 Org. of Woods

THE CHRONICLE

MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007 I 9

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THE CHRONICLE

10 I MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007

Ready for break

look terrible. Not only has my stress-induced chest cold put a damper on my exercise schedule, but the lastfew almost-allnighters have left pufiy dark circles under my eyes. I say I’ve stopped showering because of the Durham water crisis, but, to be honest, I just haven’t had time. When I looked in the mirror this morning, a chubby raccoon looked back. I wouldn’t be surprised if I started rummaging through trash cans soon—either driven to julia torti madness by overworking or ipf* coo l driven to hunger by lack of food points. I feel like I should be doing better than this. I haven’t been “out” in weeks, and I haven’t been slacking on my readings this :

semester. Ifyou’re feeling like you’re about to crumble

underthe

weight ofyour workload, you’re not alone. This is my fourth year here—l thought I’d be able to handle exam time by now. I was losing all faith in myself as a studentwhen I realized that it wasn’t even exam week yet For some reason, all of my professors have forsaken the Universityscheduled exam times and decided that they wantedfinal papers and projects due the last day of class. Maybe they were trying to be nice. Maybe they wanted to let us leave early for break Maybe they wanted to leave early for break themselves. Whatever the reason, every professor apparentlythought thatshe was the only one with this creative idea. In each class, the lack of exam during exam week was announced like an early holiday present Oh boy. Now I can write four 20page papers and attend regularly scheduled class, too. Thanks. I tried to pay attention to my final classes of the semester, but my mind always wandered and oudined a paper or fiddled with the graphics in a PowerPoint presentation. I’d

look at my classmates’ computers during lecture to see that they were furiously formatting essays: carefully adjusting margins to stretch or shrink their documents to the appropriate length. These assignments were clearly due soon. Between classes, von der Heyden was abuzz with nailbiting, coffee guzzling and e-printing. The tables that are usually covered in pita and hummus were plastered with JSTORarticles and physics textbooks. Was there any learning happening there? Maybe a little. Was there any learning happening in that last week of class? Probably not. Not only are we not learning anything new, but we’re probably not producing very good work on three hours of sleep and 17 Red Bulls. Perhaps exams are supposed to be during exam week for a reason. Maybe that last week of class is supposed to be for... class. SEE TORTI ON PAGE 12

STEVENS •

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from page 7

mer nobody; whether or not it will inject some life into his flagging numbers remains to be seen. But Huckabee’s numbers in other states remain anemic and his financial support sparse at best. Although a win in lowa may change all of that, for the moment I take solace in his poor performance elsewhere. Republicans don’t have a slam dunk candidate this year; Bush has no heir apparent, and this disparate field is filled with flawed men. Huckabee may be the most eloquent in a homespun way (no Churchill, he) as well as the most likable. His social conservatism, unflinching as it is, is also no doubt welcome to a base discomfited with the apparent flip-flops of Romney and Rudy Giuliani. On the issues that matter, however, Huckabee is a novice. Although his Web site informs voters that he’s made nine trips to Israel over the years, I suspect that those had more to do with Bethlehem and the River Jordan than resolving issues related to the Gaza Strip or setdements in the West Bank. On other related critical issues—lraq and the misnamed War on Terror, most notably—he seems to lack the depth ofknowledge that I’d like to see in a Republican candidate. His economic beliefs are suspect, too, even if he does have experience governing. He seems less devoted to free trade than a Republican should be; some have voiced serious concerns about his tax record while he was running Arkansas. But he’s also had the courage to talk about shutting down the IRS and implementing a national sales tax, and anyone willing to talk about simplifying the tax code deserves at least a second look. Given Huckabee’s recent successes, however, I imagine there’s one Republican who’s pulling for him: John McCain. The Arizona senator’s all but written off lowa and is focusing on New Hampshire, where he continues to poll poorly behind Mitt Romney. His recent endorsement from the New Hampshire Union Leader, the state’s only paper of note, has yet to produce any tangible benefits, but it might if the race opens up. A Huckabee win in lowa may result in a softening of support for Romney in New Hampshire; but just because Granite State voters abandon Mitt doesn’t mean they’ll run to Mike. In fact, the Southern Baptist minister may alienate libertarian-minded voters up North. Things become more complicated by the fact that New Hampshire independents can vote in either party primary—thus if Hillary Clinton looks certain to win, independents may choose to vote in the Republican primary, where they powered McCain to his upset win in 2000. What all of this means is that, though the Democratic nomination may be locked up before it’s really begun (so long as Hillary Clinton can regain her footing and regain momentum in Iowa), the Republican nomination is still way up in the air. Romney is faltering, Huckabee is rising in lowa, McCain has picked up a key endorsement and Giuliani is dealing with a new round of scandal. Ron Paul’s buying a blimp. It ain’t over till it’s over, folks, and we haven’t even seen the end of the beginning. So rather than just relaxing over the break, check in once in a while and watch as the nation gets ready to pick its next leader.

GillStevens in a Trinity senior. This is hisfinal column.

MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007 | 11

THE CHRONICLE

THE Daily Crossword

Edited by Wayne Robert Williams

ACROSS 1 Abyss 6 CD alternative 10 Former Turkish

leaders

14 "Gay" city of

song

15 Concept 16 Satirical Sahl 17 Fails to mention 18 Cravats 19 Countertenor 20 Parsifal's quest 23 Cathedral area 26 Scottish loch 27 Edgy 28 Underlying 30 Ditto's sister 31 Worldwide worker's grp 32 Games mall 36 Sov. news

agcy.

40 Ponce de Leon's quest 43 Punta del 44 Jury compositions 45 Fizzle out 46 T-shirt sizes 48 Of high mountains 50 Shrewd 53 Force out 56 Lecherous look 57 Jason's quest 60 Hydrox competitor 61 Memo abbr. 62 "Golden Boy" playwright 66 San , Italy 67 Dweeb Snow abode 68 69 Hebrew month 70 Literary collections 71 Checks DOWN 1 Naval noncom 2 Bad actor 3 "Exodus"

protagonist 4 Small sofa 5 Netting 6 Church

contribution

7 Tata in Tijuana

Portland, OR Banana skins No sweat! Almond liqueur Heights in the Middle East 12 Gilmore of the

8 9 10 11

NBA

13 Shoulder wrap 21 Lures into danger 22 Old Pontiac 23 De Maupassant novel Hills, IL 24 25 Sturdy 29 NIT part 30 Let the air out of 33 Hush-hush grp 34 Actress Blyth 35 Stag's mate 37 WW2 hero Murphy 38 “Goosebumps" author 39 Diaphanous 41 Nearby in the

burbs 42 Fashion

monogram

47 Director Spike 49 Binding promise

50 Old Greek marketplace 51 Prepared an apple 52 Muslim scholars 53 Time after time 54 Marine starter?

55 58 59 63

Transmits Zola heroine Coconut fiber Whitney

Wallach 64 2000 lbs. 65 Help!

THE Daily Crossword ACROSS 1 Imperial 6 Rough file 10 Cairo's river 14 Skylit courts 15 Kirghiz mountains 16 Harrow rival 17 Forget it! 19 Punchhole remnant 20 Holm of filmdom 21 Aunt Bee's•charge 22 Morning prayer 24 New York neighbor 26 "Over There" songwriter 27 Bigwig in D.C 28 Composer's option 31 Up to now 34 One over par 35 FDR's Blue Eagle 36 Envelop 37 Forget it! 38 Pianist Thelonious 39 Perform on stage 40 Get-acquainted event 41 Boarding points 42 Bundled 44 By what means 45 Peak points 46 Bravery 50 Alpine retreat 52 Loudmouth 53 Fluffy scarf 54 Holy water holder 55 Forget it! 58 At some prior time 59 Author Rice 60 Duck or dodge 61 Visionary 62 Annoyingly slow 63 Satellite of Saturn

DOWN

1 Proportional relationship 2 Fictional Frome

Edited by Wayne Robert Williams

Chicago, IL

3 4 5 6 7 8

Infantryman Purpose

Hired hand AM/FM device

Natural balm Tuneful tool, at

times 9 Cash for

incidentals

10 Drink of the gods 11 Forget it! 12 Grubstake 13 Windups 18 English in pool 23 Hail in a harbor 25 Rush letters 26 Smokable 28 29 30 31 32

Cuban

Did the lawn Coastal bird Shaggy oxen Trade Marine

predator 33 Forget it! 34 Packing containers 37 Snort before bedtime

38 Bryn 40 Wizard 41 Culinary connoisseur 43 Out of 44 Shout derisively 46 Island, NY 47 More or less 48 Mild cheese 49 Swallowed

50 Some execs 51 Sharpen with a whetstone 52 Upper or lower berth 56 Lennon's lover 57 QB Manning

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12 | MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007

Learning from Karl Rove

Karl

Rove was full ofdenials in his speech last Monday. Whether it was negative campaign strategies, torture or releasing covert CIA agent identities—Rove assured us he had nothing to do with anything. I hope no one came to the yj speech expecting

people in line to ask questions david fiocco seemed itching shades of blue to catch Rove off guard, but I had little doubt the esteemed strategist would win any semantic battle. No matter how cleverly a question was worded, Rove was not about to offer the reasons behind American policies over the last several years. Actual facts were of little importance in Rove’s talk. When the man makes statements like—and I quote—“The United States has nothing to apologize for in its conduct in the war,” he was clearly so far removed from reality that it would be useless to nitpick over details. Abu Ghraib or Blackwater anyone? What I was really interested in hearing from Rove was less tangible. For all his years as an adviser for Governor, and then President, George W. Bush, what really motivated him? When news or policy statements came from the White House during Rove’s term, the arguments were always carefully framed and edited. If the topic was global climate change, reports were altered to remove “sensitive” data revealing the seriousness of global warming. More than one disgruntled scientist discusses his indignation at seeing studies butchered by

the knife of political expediency. Iraqi chemical weapon intelligence reports and immigration analyses suffered similar fetes. Had anyone asked Rove about his motivations directly, I am quite sure he could have deftly denied any direct involvement or overt editing. Yet, there is no challenging the feet that when news came out of the White House, Rove generally had a very specific vision for how the story should be flamed. Furthermore, when it came time to hit the campaign trail, hehad strategies mapped out better than an explorer does in the thickest of jungles. Rove worked to perfectly choreograph every event he could, from all of Bush’s own appearances to campaigns for random staterepresentatives. The man is a brilliant strategist. His calculations of hot-button issues were usually right-on and his election predictions were notoriously accurate. Yet, his supreme competency does little to explain what drove his tireless crusades. Was it the power and control that Rove felt in seeing his ideas enacted on the national level? Certainly directing the president’s course of action would be a heady task. Did Rove feel that the American public was so dumb that he had to simplify everything he advocated to black and white for us to understand? Did he just enjoy being a really good strategist, advocating any viewpoint that would garner votes or support down the line? Or did he actually truly feel passionately aboutevery cause he stood behind, somehow believing that the ends could justify the means, as long as his ideas were realized? As vehemently as I disagree with just about everything Rove has stood for, a part of me is inspired by his tenacity. As seniors think about postgraduate careers,

finding a job where one can be similarly passionate about the work can only lead to success. Where I really fault Rove is for his complete disregard for ethics in the work that he has done. During the last few years Rove has been called to testify before a grand jury investigating his misconduct numerous times. He is probably too smart for any charge against him to stick, but few believe he has been completely forthcoming. Time and again Rove’s tactics and plots have been exposed; the revelations are usually met with disgust, €ven from many within the Republican Party. Regardless of one’s ends, all means are not justified. It has been a week since Rove has spoken here, so there has been sufficient time to reflect on appropriate take-away, messages from the talk. The content of the speech itself was less than memorable and so riddled with falsehoods that it should never be cited by anyone other than novelists and tabloid authors. However, Rove’s remarkable ability to create an infrastructure to win, no matter how big or small the cause may be, can serve as a model for everyone. At the same time, it is necessary to separate passion from the man’s flippant disregard for truth and ethics. At Duke, clicking our affirmation of the community standard on ACES every semester or taking our “ethical inquiry” requirements do not then excuse future instances of dishonesty. Rove has shown us that excessive passion unaccompanied by ethics may bring shortterm victories, but who would want to live with that man’s conscience? David Fiocco is a Trinity senior. This is his

final column.

TORTI

from page 10

After all, exam week comes after a reading period, right? Absolutely not. “Monday” is not a reading period. It’s a day. And don’t try to tell me that Saturday and Sunday count as part of the reading period. We might be a little stressed out, Duke, but we’re not stupid. We know that Saturday and Sunday are also known as “the weekend,” and we never have class on the weekend.You aren’t really fooling us. I don’t understand why we don’t have a real reading period. Heaven forbid we get three days to take a breath, take a nap or try to put real intellectual effort into our largest tests and papers of the semester. Maybe I’m in the minority here. Other students could love the thrill of the sprint to complete a month’s worth ofschoolwork in seven days. After all, Duke students tend to thrive on stress. I’ll admit that I enjoy the buzz I get when I complete a 10-page paper at 4 a.m. (such a sense of accomplishment, coupled with light-headedness), but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t appreciate some more time. If professors gave us the option of taking an exam or handing in a paper earlier, I might take some of them up on that offer. Students who wanted to get home for the holidays could buckle down for a few days, and students who wanted to spend a lot of time on their final assignments could do so. It would probably also help professors get a head start on the marathon grading they do to get our grades to us at warp speed. Having a choice could make everyone happy. Oh, and seriously—give us a reading

period.

Julia Torti is a Trinity senior. This is her jinal column.

Only 1 in 10 students from low-income communities will graduate from college.

TEACH FORAMERICA www.teachforamerica.org

[Source: Mortenson, Tom. "Family income and Higher Education Opportunity," Postsecondary Education Opportunity. 2005]

MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007 | 13

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THE CHRONICLE

14 I MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007

THE Daily Crossword

Edited by Wayne Robert Williams

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tragedy 43 Melodic tune 44 Light touches 46 Gazpacho ingredient 47 August sign

Dilbert Scott Adams ASOK DIED IN A WORKRELATED ACCIDENT. HIS DISASTER RECOVERY PLAN WAS TO REINCARNATE INTO HIS OWN CLONE. _

YOU ARE HIS CLONE, BUT YOUR DNA GOT fAIXED UP WITH A SNICKERS BAR. YOU ARE DOOMED TO WALK THE EARTH AS HALF WAN, HALF SNACK.

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48 Former San Francisco mayor 51 Drought state 53 Lion king of Scotland 56 Program file extension 57 Link together 59 Upstanding 63 Puppeteer Lewis 66- Lion king of France 68 Crime group 69 From scratch 70 Art Deco

PHEW. IT IS LUCKY I STUDIED GUIDED REINCARNATION AND ADVANCED SHAPESHIFTING AT THE INDIAN INSTITUTE OF TECHNOLOGY.

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58 Politico Long 60 Emerald isle 61 Commend 62 Stadium level 63 Wee, to Burns 64 Possesses 65 ClO’s partner 67 "Sands of Jima"

42 Cameo stones 45 Sun rooms 49 Brownish orange 50 Granola bit 52 Anxiety 54 Language of Kuala Lumpur 55 Image: pref.

The Chronicle what we regret about semi: sean, hon, du wearing ellis's shirt, tie, pants and boxers: david, shreya, jia going home with a freshman: watching back-to-backchrismukkah episodes:. ...you and me and lies writing a 20-page paper after sake bombing:.... leslie, ryan, lisa meredith, will singing journey in an audi: pete, lawson taking an emt certification drunk: Ibd, chase spending ail our money on other people: shuchi, lysa stealing saidi's other shoe: Roily Roily C. Miller passed out during the pre-game:

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THE CHRONICLE

MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007 I 15

Copy and paste from a website

Email my instructor and do the best I can until 10 a.m.

Get caught for

plagiarism

Call her at 10 a.m. and explain my situation

Get suspended from Duke

Get an extension and a lower grade on my paper

ÂŠ0

There are better options than cheating. Don't compromise your integrity. Brought to you by the Undergraduate Judicial Board http://judicial.studentaffairs.duke.edu

16 | MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007

THE CHRONICLE

december 10,2007 ■

FREIMAN NAMED TO WATCH LIST Junior Nate Freiman is one of 224 candidates named to baseball's Brooks Wallace watch list released by the College Baseball Foundation.

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A Buzzer-beati ng putback lifts Duke over Pitt 1| DUKE 51

49 Pin

Blue Devils find way to eek out another win

Cheek compensates for struggling offense by

Archith Ramkumar THE CHRONICLE

With 12.1 seconds reNEW YORK game against PittsSaturday’s maining in burgh, Duke found itself in a familiar situation—a rough, ugly game that came down to the wire. But luckily for the Blue Devils, forward Joy Cheek stepped up to bail her

NEW YORK— Playing in the Maggie Dixon Classic, held to promote awareness about sudden cardiac arrest, Duke was playing as if its own offensive heartbeat was fluttering. The Blue Devils committed 29 turnovers in Saturday’s contest at Madison Square Garden and were on the verge of dropping their fourth game in five tries. But Duke was resuscigame tated by the strong play of forward Joy Cheek. analysis The sophomore, who scored 16 of her team’s 51 points and 13 after halftime, gave the final shock to a pesky Pittsburgh team that wouldn’t go away. With 1.2 seconds left, Cheek pulled down a Chante Black miss and put it in to win the game for the Blue Devils, cementing her place as the hero for the afternoon. ‘Joy was a difference maker,” head coach JoanneP. McCallie said. “She showed great leadership on the floor and had a lot of confidence.” With just more than one minute left in the contest, the Panthers knotted the score at 49, erasing a seven-point Duke lead. After both squads were unable to score on their next two chances, McCallie called a timeout with 12.5 seconds remaining to set up a play. Coming out of the break, the ball was thrown inside to Black, who had a good look at a jumper. The ball bounced off the rim, right into the hands of Cheek, who got the easy putback that allowed her team to celebrate its victory on the court.

see cheek on page

Stephen Allan THE CHRONICLE

team out.

With 1.2 seconds left in the game, Cheek two Panthers for an offensive rebound and scored on a putback basket, breaking a 4949 tie. Pittsburgh (6-3) failed to convert a desperation three-point attempt, and Cheek raised her arms in celebration as No. 17 Duke (7-3) sealed a 5149 win over a feisty Panthers team in the Maggie Dixon Classic at Madison Square Garden. The 6-foot-l Cheek Had the big shot but also had one of her best games of the season, finishing with a team-high 16 points and seven rebounds. Still, she was surprised as anyone about the game’s slow and sloppy pace —reflected by the 50 turnovers and 30 fouls split between the two teams. “I thought there was going to be a lot of scoring in this game,” Cheek said. Instead, the Blue Devils got into a physical, ugly match that looked more like a backyard melee than a free-flowing shootout. Duke was unable to practice between Thursday’s win over Rutgers and Saturday’s contest, and for a while, it looked like its lack of practice time would cost them the game. Although Cheek finished 7-of-12 from

outfought

NOAH

PRINCE/THE

CHRONICLE

SophoiiioreJoyCheekpulleddownthereboundoffaChanteßlackmissandpiititbackinf6rthesl-49win,

MEN'S BASKETBALL

SEE W.

BBALL ON PAGE 12

Bench boosts Duke to victory change down the court, and it resulted in either a big defensive stop for us ora real momentum basket. Duke has succeeded That broke it open.” despite All season long, For the game’s first 12 minutes, both teams missed its lack of size in the frontcourt. Stumbling off the block Saturday against Michigan open looks and struggled to put points on the board. and with freshman Kyle Singler Duke’s explosive offense—which entered the game game in foul trouble, the Blue Devils averaging more than 85 points per contest this seacountered conventional wisdom son—had mustered a meager 18 against the Wolverdfiatvsis ines’ predominandy zone defense. again by going even smaller. But Scheyer drained a three out of the media At the 7:22 mark of the first half, Duke led the Wolverines by just four, 18-14. The timeout, and Smith followed with seven points sandBlue Devils then came out of a mediatimeout with both wiched around a King perimeter jumper. Smith’s three from the wing culminated the 14-0 run, durGreg Paulus and Nolan Smith in the backcourt and bfield. foot-6 Taylor King at center. Three minutes and two ing which the Blue Devils were 5-of-5 from the forced call coach Beilein was to head Michigan John Michigan timeouts later, the game was effectively over. his Wolyoung seconds with his second timeout 90 in scored unanswered points 14 Duke’s small lineup on six consecutive possessions, pushing a tender verines on the Cameron Indoor ropes. “When we went on the court, we said, ‘This is four-point lead out to a robust 18-point cushion. where we can blow the game open,”’ Scheyer said. —the three bench playSmith, King, and Jon Scheyer ers on the court—scored all 14 points and set the “We knew it was a crucial point. They had a lot of confidence, especially if we let them linger around, tone on a day when the Blue Devils were carried by by

Tim Britton

THE CHRONICLE

Junior Jon Scheyer put up 10points in Duke's blowout victory over Michigan Saturday.

their reserves. “They gave us a big boost,” head coach Mike Krzyzewski said of the smaller lineup. “There were some scrappy exchanges, multiple plays in an ex-

so that’s something we talked about in the huddle.” The bench provided the difference all day, outSEE BENCH ON PAGE

10 I MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007

THE CHRONICLE

M. BBALL from page 1

Duke 95, Michigan 67 Michigan (3-6)

23 44 67 41 54 95

Duke (9-0)

like that.” Udoh 28 4-9 0-1 0-0 10 1 2 1 8 Krzyzewski had little reason to scream the rest of the game. 26 5-11 5 0 0 4 1-1 1-2 12 Led by Smith—who scored nine points 30 3-7 6 0 0 9 1-2 2-2 2 in a critical 14-2 run following Duke’s 30second timeout—the Blue Devils seized Morris 13 2-6 1-3 0-0 11 2 1 5 control in the last eight minutes of the first Wright 1-3 0-1 0-0 2 0 0 0 2 4 half, building a 17-point halftime lead that ballooned to a 95-67 win over Michigan in Block 0-0 0-0 0-0 0 0 0 0 2 1 Cameron Indoor Stadium. TEAM 3 0 Duke (9-0) found its rhythm late in the game, scoring 54 points on 65-percent Blocks Udoh (4), Sims (2) FG.% IstHalf: .250,2nd Half: .533, Game: .379 shoodng in the second period, but built a comfortable lead in the waning minutes of Singler 1-3 2-2 4 0 2 0 9 17 3-6 the first. The Wolverines (S-6) played with the home team for the early part of the Thomas 0 2 14 1-4 0-0 0-0 2 11 opening half, lingering despite receiving no Henderson 28 5-14 1-2 1-2 7 4 2 0 12 scoring production from the bench. Then Krzyzewski decided he had seen enough, 6 1-1 0-0 0-0 2 0 0 0 2 McClure and opted to call a timeout mere seconds Scheyer 29 3-6 1-2' 3-4 4 3 0 1 10 before the imminent official stoppage. “He definitely screamed a lot,” said 13 3-5 0-0 1-2 5 0 0 17 Zoubek freshman Taylor King, who drained two late 3 0 TEAM 3-pointers to earn his game-high 18 points. Blocks Henderson JAMES RAZICK /THE CHRONICLE Kim “It had to be done, though. He was upset, and he had every right to be. We weren’t Freshman guard Noian Smith came off the bench to spark a first-half run thatburied theWolverines Saturday. playing very well at all. Then we turned it around and got into a groove.” But when they did, the undefeated game and outscored its Michigan countergame, prompting Beilein to call another The Blue Devils found that groove after timeout. The Blue Devils had scored on six Blue Devils were nearly unstoppable. Duke part 27-0 in the first half. the official break. Out of the timeout, sophSmith, however, said his output had straight possessions—a far cry from the ear- beefed up its defense, forcing 15 turnovers omore Jon Scheyer, one of five Duke playlier part of the half, when Duke scored less with seven steals, and allowed its fast-paced less to do with providing a spark and ers to score in double figures, swished a Sthan 20 points in more than 10 minutes. style to dictate the game’s tempo. Junior more to do with amending Duke’s early After the game, Krzyzewski said he called point guard Greg Paulus was a key cog in performance. pointer from the corner to start the scoring “We were trading baskets with them, barrage. Smith then took over, sinking two the timeout not because ofhis team’s lack that transformation. He posted only eight free throws, converting a layup and capping ofoffensive production, but because of its points, but his six assists were significant, and we don’t like trading baskets with anyoff his own 6-0 mini-run with an emphatic transition defense. considering he had no turnovers for the body,” the freshman said. “We like to get slam. Michigan head coach John Beilein “We wanted to press, and at the start of first time all season. stops and score and go on big runs —not called a 30-second timeoutafter Smith’s last the game we were caught in between and Paulus’ backup, though, was the talk of play in spurts.” score, but Duke was far from done. our transition defense was not very good,” the team after the game. Smith finished Unless, of course, that spurt involves a King hit a long jumper off a feed from Krzyzewski said. “We were running up while with 17 points on 7-of-9 shooting. He was run of 14 unanswered points to send the Scheyer and then Smith furthered his scorthey were running by us. It took us a while part of a bench that provided the Blue Dev- .scalding Blue Devils into a nine-day layoff ils with an energy boost throughout the in a most pleasing fashion. ing show by nailing his only 3-pointer of the to make that adjustment.”

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THE CHRONICLE

Duke 51, Pittsburgh 49

CHEEK from page 9

Pittsburgh (6-3)

24 24

Duke (7-3)

25 49 27 51

For Cheek, it was simply a matter of ex- Walker 36 4-8 0-0 1-3 13 1 3 1 9 ' Zellous 38 6-22 0-0 -5-6 :3 1 ;V4 2,17 ecuting what she learned in practice. 1-6 0-2 0-0 3 2 4 0 2 30 “We have an eight-second drill where Harrison Sims 17 38 5-14 defense see who drive the to through you 5 0 3 0 4 Scott 26 2-4 0-1 0-1 can score,” Cheek said. ‘You have to shoot 4W- ft MM IMi 0-0 0-0 0-0 0 0 0 0 0 1 so that your buddy can get the rebound, n-n 0-0 3 0 0 1 0 and today, I was the buddy.” Tafen 0-0 0-0 0-0VlO 0 0 0 7 Cheek’s contributions also kept Duke 0 7 afloat in the second half when the rest of TEAM 200 18-59 1-7 Totals the offense was struggling. Blocks Zellous, Sims, Cole With just less than 13 minutes remaining F6%~ Ist Half: .333, 2nd Half: .2 in the period, Pittsburgh surged ahead 33-30 0-0 1-2 3 4 0 2 7 27 3-9 on one of Salvonte Zellous’ six field goals, Black sending the gold-and-black fans at Madison Cheek 29 7-12 1-1 1-2 6 0 0 2 16 Square Garden into a ffen2y. The Blue Dev23 2-6 0-3 0-1 3 2 4 0 4 ils, however, answered when Cheek coolly Thomas stepped behind the 3-point line and swished Christmas 3 12 2-3 0-0 0-0 11 1 4 one of the squad’s four treys. On Duke’s next 6 1 5 23 2-7 0-0 1-3 3 1 possession, the forward nailed another bucket to give the Blue Devils the lead again. 10 2 With more than nine minutes left, Abby TEAM a and it looked as if Blocks Black (5), Gay (3), Cheek, Jackson Waner drilled three, the Blue Devils were poised to break the game open. But the Panthers refused to fade away and whittled Duke’s lead down the Pittsburgh defense and finished with 10 to two at 42-40, when guard Jania Sims conpoints, only three of which came after halfnected on the team’s only hit from beyond time. The junior shot a mere 2-of-6 from the arc. Again, Cheek responded on the beyond this arc, where she typically thrives. other end, extending the Blue Devils’ adIn the end, though, the Blue Devils were vantage to four and keeping the Panthers able to escape with a win from Saturday’s at bay. The sophomore’s score was part of slugfest because Cheek’s elevated game a 5-0 run that gave Duke a 47-40 lead that transcended the team’s otherwise sloppy seemed as if it would last with only six-and-a offensive performance. half minutes remaining in the contest. “I thought our press was amazing today, But when that advantage disappeared, and it really caused them problems,” PittsCheek again came through in the clutch. burgh head coach Agnes Berenato said. Cheek’s play was critical on an after“But [Cheek] made a big shot.” noon where Duke’s more heralded ofAnd despite those 29 turnovers, missed open fensive stars, Waner and Black, struggled. looks and struggles from its stars, Duke was able Black dealt with foul trouble all game and to come out of the Big Apple with a win. Joy finished just 3-of-9 from the floor for seven Cheekmade sure that at the end of the game, it points. Waner, meanwhile, was harassed by was theBlue Devils’ heart that beat loudest

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ROBINSON/THE CHRONICLE

Freshman TaylorKing chipped in a game-high 18 points from the bench in Saturday's win over Michigan.

BENCH from page 9 scoring the Wolverines’ reserves by 28 in Duke’s win by as many points. King and Smith led the Blue Devils in scoring with 18 and 17 points, respectively. Smith did most of his damage in the first half, in which he scored 11 points in nine minutes, but he saved his best moves for after the intermission. The freshman guard showcased a swift first step, agile spin move and crisp crossover to beat Michigan defenders and get into the lane for open looks at the basket. “Nolan did afantasticjob,” King said.“He dribble-drived, and when people weren’t available on the kick, he did a great job finishing. He played a hell of a game.” King wasn’t too bad himself, knocking down 7-of-12 from the field for a game-high 18 points. Krzyzewski was particularly pleased with how the freshmen responded from subpar games against Davidson last week, when the two combined for just three points. ...

Scheyer contributed his usual effort off the bench, scoring 10 points to go along with four rebounds, three assists and no turnovers. Despite not starting a single game this season, Scheyer is second on the team in minutes behind Nelson. “Our bench players, like Coach says, can be starters,” Smith said. “That’s how we play. When we come off the bench, we just try to kick the energy level and intensity up another notch.” Scheyer’s transition to being a role player after starting all but one game his freshman year is symbolic of Duke’s season to date. Krzyzewski. who has historically played with a short bench, has extended his rotation to nine, sometimes 10 players. One season after having four players average over 30 minutes per game, no Blue Devil has surpassed that mark, and six players average nine points or more per contest. “I don’t think one of those guys at Duke has ever been a role player in his life,” Beilein said. “And now they’re all doing that, and they’re just terrific at it.”

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THE CHRONICLE

W.BBALL from page 9 the field, the

struggled

NOAH PRINCE/THE CHRONICLE

Forward Joy Cheek led the Blue Devils Saturday with 16points in Duke's victory in Madison Square Garden.

rest

of the Blue Devils

simply make a basket. Minus

Cheek’s numbers, Duke shot just 34 percent from the field and had a season-high 29 turnovers. Much of the offensive struggles were a result of a heavy Pittsburgh press that was successful in trapping the Blue Devils and forcing them into errant passes and easy steals. Thanks to strong defense throughout the game, though, Duke still managed to put itself in position to win. Pittsburgh’s offense shot a mere 30.5 percent, including l-for-7 on three-pointers. Additionally, the Panthers suffered a 10:24-scoreless stretch in the middle of the game. But a late-game call in Duke’s favor helped set the stage for Cheek’s winner.

Recycle your old Duke Phone directory Pick up your new 2007-08 Duke Phone directory 9 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. on December 12-13

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With under a minute left, the Panthers’ Jania Sims drove to the basket and drew the perimeter defense in. The collapsing defense allowed Sims to kick the ball out to Salvonte Zellous, but the Pittsburgh guard missed the open three. After a failed putback attempt, players from both teams scrambled to corral the loose ball, which eventually bounced out of bounds. Although it looked like a Blue Devil player had touched it last, the referees awarded the ball to Duke with 12.1 seconds remaining. From there, all the Blue Devils had to do was run one play successfully. After both Duke and Pittsburgh called back-to-back timeouts, the Blue Devils did just that, breaking the Panthers’ full-court press one more time for the win. “I had a great day at work until the last 1.2 seconds,” Pittsburgh head coach Agnus Berenato said. “We pressed, and we

were very confident.” Duke averaged just 50 points in its past two contests after putting up 62.8 per game in the previous four. Part of the problem Saturday stemmed from its quick turnaround from Thursday’s emotional victory over the Scarlet Knights. “The lack of practice time absolutely killed us, and we have to practice more and need clearer thinking for our offense to speed up,” head coach Joanne P. McCallie said. “It was a blue-collar, more aggressive tempo.” On a day when so much seemed to go wrong for the Blue Devils and so many shots missed the bottom of the net, the team was pleased to have emerged with the victory—even if it ended up a little bit closer than most people expected. “I love games that are close,” McCallie said. “To me, this is what it’s all about.”

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THE CHRONICLE

MONDAY, DECEMBER 12,2007 113

14 | MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007

THE CHRONICLE

Financial aid expansion a huge stride 4-J •

E—|

P-H

This

especially notable at Duke because of the University’s comparatively smaller endowment. Needless to say, the move repreexpanding financial aid sents a huge editorial for low- and stride for the middle-income families, University in creating greater Affecting students as soon socioeconomic diversity. Indeed, the new financial as Fall 2008, the new program eliminates parental contribuaid support system is not only tions for students with family a tremendous step forward incomes of less than $60,000 for this University as a whole, a year. Loans will replace it also serves in part to reaffirm confidence in President grants for students with family incomes of $40,000 or less. Richard Brodhead after the The changes will also affect lacrosse case. middle-income families by Before the lacrosse scandal, the Financial Aid Initiative was reducing loans. Although the financial aid widely applauded, but, in the changes have been compared past year and a half, there was a to those that Princeton and time when this initiative was perHarvard enacted in the received as stagnating. This year, cent past, these changes are thiseditorial board has calledfor weekend, the University virtually revolutionized its undergraduate financial aid program,

The review affirmed President Brodhead’s leadership ofDuke. We think he has articulated a compelling vision for what the University is and can become. There was general support, overwhelming support for the leadership that the president is providing.

I’m

not actually Zach Braff. I wonder if James and Joyce or Jack Bauer’s Bidet ever had this problem. Were befuddled seniors scouring the eponymous bar off East for “A Portrait of theArtist as a Monday, Monday Columnist?” Did confused underclassmen ever scan the Plaza for an appearance of Kiefer Sutherland’s elusive wash bin? monday, monday But since I began zach braff writing this column

—Board of Trustees Vice Chair Dan Blue, Law ’73, on the committee he chaired to review President Richard Brodhead’s job performance. See story page 1.

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great hope that this aim along with the publicity the University has garnered will invite greater socioeconomic diversity in the coming years. A new Web site contains the clear language and transparency that a program of this size needs. The timing of the announcement also allows prospective students to the Class of 2012 time to consider applying to Duke. The University’s decision not to delay the financial aid benefits until theFinancialAid Initiative is complete allows many current students to reap the benefits of the new system. The attention this expansion has raised would also help increase the momentum of the Financial Aid Initiative, which currently has raised $240 million ofits |3OO-million goal.

These sweeping changes represent a first step in the

University’s

acknowledge-

ment of the crucial role of

socioeconomic diversity on college campuses. Of course, this is a step that treats the symptoms, not the causes, of the flaws in the education system. There are still hurdles facing socioeconomic diversity in U.S. colleges that stem from disparities in secondary public education and campus culture problems that pervade all private universities.' But this first, crucial step is still one that needs to be lauded as a milestonefor Duke as a leading international institution. Chronicle Editor David Graham, who wrote this news story, recused himselffrom this editorial.

Zach Braff is Brandon Curl

ontherecord

Est. 1905

Brodhead to definehis own presidency outside the shadowof the Duke lacrosse case through the Financial Aid Initiative—and he has done exactly that In his e-mail to students Sunday, Brodhead and his administration also demonstrated that they have the ability to communicate effectively to the student body —a major concern after the lacrosse case. Short, concise and personal, the e-mail displays Duke’s commitment to building a post-lacrosse identity. News of the expansion was not limited to the University’s campus. Duke has effectively publicized the program in its first few days. The University has said from the start that it will target prospective students. We have

•

ago, I’ve encountered many starryeyed students wanting to know if I could hook them up with Zach Braff since, you know, I was getting him to write for the paper and all. Because how else does one Mow starring, writing and directing for television and movies than bywriting for a Duke University student publication? Besides doing voiceovers for Wendy’s commercials, I suppose... (Say itain’t so, Zach). But my anti-fame has even extended beyond campus. You mayremember a column I wrote back in September about the inexplicable Facebook popularity of senior Hasnain Zaidi. In that column, I publicly challenged the digital deity that I could assemble a larger list offriends under a new “Zachary Israel Braff” Facebook profile than Hasnain, himself—without ever friending a single person. So how vast is my social network now? Well dear readers —my bastion of support, my grassroots groundswell of endorsement* and the foundation for my funny—the semester is up, the results are in and you have spoken. All 65 ofyou. Well, 64 really, given that I friended myself from my actual Facebook account. That compares to the now 1,474 friends ofHasnain. And for those keeping coimt, that’s an increase of 75 friends for him from earlier in the semester. That means that since Sep tember I’ve actually gained negative ground. Hasnain even friended me, I’m pretty sure, just to mock me. But the vast majority of Zach Staffs new Facebook friends aren’t even Duke students. I’ve received around 100 other friend requests from people who think I’m the real deal in places as far away as Texas A&M, France and Bangladesh. Here’s a sample ofmy favorite messages —not to mention Vampire application requests —I received from some of these friends with my responses. (And let me remind you that these are 100-percentreal.) “I LOVE SCRUBS” Me too. “Is this the real Zach Braff? I won’t act weird or

even mention it again, I just felt like I had to ask. I work in TV and have recendy decided my new dream is to work on your show.” Somehow I didn’t have the heart to break it to that girl. I hope Zach actually did show up to that Starbucks meeting I arranged. “I just want to congratulate you for your talent, your films, your personality... you, just you! You’re the best!” I’m pretty sure that last one was actually talking about me. I’d also like to thank some people before I close;

Thanks to my editor, Ryan McCartney. You always kept me appropriate, funny and devoid of Oxford commas. Somehow you dealt with my inability to turn in a single column ahead of deadline (including this one). I knew that if I could make you laugh while reading my draft, I’d truly written something funny. Thanks to my 65 Facebook friends. Thanks to my three actual friends. You provided me with invaluable feedback, encouragement and oftentimes fodder for my columns. Without you my columns would have looked like Elliott Wolfs without the research or big words. Thanks to Elliott Wolf. I referred to you more than Soulja Boy or Priya Patel’s goal-post incident. And finally thanks to all the e-mails and comments I received from those who enjoyed reading my musings. You made my day. Before I end, I’d like to share a story of my most treasured moment while writing this storied column. Back in October I wrote a column entitled “Zach Braff and the death of Duke basketball” in which I eulogized our basketball team given the loss of the nowGeorgetown-commit, Greg Monroe. While writing this column, I’ve had the opportunity to speak with many people I’ve poked fim at None made me feel more sorryfor making fim of them than Jon Scheyer, who I subtly referred to as a “small, shrimpy white dude.” When I mentioned to Jon that I was writing the Monday, Monday column and had written that notorious column about the team, he stopped looking at the two-page Chanticleer spread of his gameday faces he was using to play a match game and glared at me with a face only Jon Scheyer could conjure up. “That was you!?!” he seethed. I stuttered, “Uh... yeah, but I was just kidding. I mean, I’m a big fan...” Jon laughs. “Nah... I’m just messing, man. I never read that crap.” The joke’s on me. Brandon Curl is ZACH BRAFFfor the last time.

THE CHRONICLE

MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007

commentaries

I 15

federal failure

Since

its inception in 1870, the U.S. Department ofjustice has had among its chief duties “to seek just punishment for those guilty ofunlawful behavior” and “to ensure fair and impartial administration of justice for all Americans.” that context, it is very difficult to accept the Justice Department’s Dec. 3 decision not to investigate modem America’s highest-profile case kristin butler of prosecutorial misconduct, also known as for- with all deliberate speed mer Durham district attorney Mike Nifong’s handling of the lacrosse case The justification for such an inquiry was undeniable As Jim Cooney, the leader of Reade Seligmann’s defense team, explained in an October 2007 letter, federal intervention is warranted because “the District Attorney is the chief law enforcement officer for Durham County [and it is] plain that [he will] not investigate himself.” Furthermore, Cooney noted, “There was little that the Attorney General of North Carolina could do, since his jurisdiction is extremely limited and since he has no power to convene an investigative grand jury under North Carolina law.” And yet 11 months after the Seligmanns first asked investigators from the United States Attorney for Newjersey’s office to look into official misconduct in Durham (Cooney noted that the Seligmanns contacted the Newjersey office because it appeared that the United States Attorney for the Middle District of North Carolina “could have a conflict if 3 conducting an investigation into law enforcement authorial-with whom she is required to work and conduct investigations on a regular basis”), that inquiry has been

shut down for what are plainly political concerns. As Cooney took pains to point out, Assistant United States attorneys from New Jersey met with Reade Seligmann and his father “beginning in January and for several weeks and months thereafter” to collect “motions, transcripts and other pleadings that were part of the public record” from the family. In fact, it wasn’t until those assistant U.S. attorneys traveled to North Carolina for a September 2007 meeting with representatives from the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Middle District ofNorth Carolina and members of the N.C. attorney general’s staff that the roadblocks began

materializing. First, the New Jersey investigators were informed upon their arrival in Raleigh that they had been “denied permis-

sion to even meet with the representatives of the Attorney General of North Carolina”—which was the primary reason for their long-scheduled visit in the first place. Three months later, that process of official withdrawal has culminated in Acting U.S. Deputy Attorney General Craig Morford’s Dec. 3 letter explaining that the feds believe North Carolina should have sole responsibility for “protecting the integrity of its judicial proceedings, holding Mr. Nifong accountable for his actions as an officer of its courts and vindicating the principles of justice under state law.” As Cooper has made abundantly clear, that decision effectively means that there will be no investigation at all. In particular, a statement released by his office noted that “it would be difficult to conduct additional investigation into this matter without federal participation” since state authorities cannot compel witnesses to testify or punish them for lying. And following the disintegration of Durham’s Whichard committee—the body that was formed to study city police in the aftermath of last spring’s woefully

Perspective needed on Rove talk displeasure over Elad Gross’ Dec. 6 letter to the editor, “Rove forum disrespected in more ways than one.” While we do not condone Duke graduate Stephen Miller’s actions duringlast Monday’s “Conversation withKarl Rove,” it is illogical to hold members of a group that Miller used to run—the Duke Conservative Union —accountable, since he no longer is in charge—he has graduated. Similarly, it is illogical to blame another group—Duke College Republicans—in which Miller never was active. In response to Gross’ allegations that the DCU is still under Miller’s rule, a simple search of the OSAF Web site reveals that Trinity sophomore David Bitner, not Miller is president of the DCU. Anyone who attended Sen. Rick Santorum’s speech Wednesday would see that the DCU has accomplished much on its own with Bitner, not Miller, at the helm. In addition, Gross claims that we—the DCU and DCR—prevented people from interacting with Rove and that we violated decorum. We’re curious how cheering violates decorum, especially given theway in whichprotestors yelled and blocked views at various points during the speech. We’re also curious how we prevented people from interacting with Rove. We would like to know the grounds on which you base this allegation beforeyou attempt to slander our clubs. All that being said, Gross’ great concern is that an act of line-cutting has not been noted, especially by the media. This is odd when one of our freshman members was verbally abused in language that could not be printed in a newspaper and was physically assaulted by one of the protesters. This too has not been covered in the media, nor was the lack of security outside. The safety of our members, especially freshmen, concerns us far more than a childish act of line-cutting, so we would appreciate some perspective.

freshman, full of youthful fire and idealism, I joined the Humanitarian Challenges Focus program, traditionally an activist boot camp. Aside from the seminars, dinners and servicelearning placements, we were also exposed to many of the student groups on campus that engage m humani-

Samuel Tosher

Chair, Duke College Republicans Trinity ’O9 David Bitner President, Duke Conservative Union Trinity ’lO

w:>

tanan

work, aid and activism. As a

SfJ rally

Kristin Butler is a Trinity senior. This herfinal column of the

semester.

Aware, still don’t care

lettertotheeditor We are writing to express our

distorted Baker-Chalmers report —it’s hard to imagine any other viable options. That’s why this sudden refusal to investigate Nifong’s all-but-unprecedented violation of citizens’ rights is so unusual—especially for the same agency that is widely known for bringing down former speaker of the House Jim Black, former secretary of agriculture Meg Scott Phipps and several state legislators convicted ofofficial corruption. As Cooney noted, the DOJ has a “significant and recent history of state and federal authorities joining together to investigate allegations of official corruption in North Carolina,” and it does not lack justification for its involvement: Indeed, Congress has made it a crime for government officials to act “under color of state law with the intent [to deprive] United States citizens of their liberty.” Rather, what the agency lacks is the political backbone to do the kind of work that once made it a hero of the civil rights movement or the scourge of organized crime. Between officials’ sham rationale—indeed, the Justice Department’s position that “this matter involves the conduct of a state prosecutor applying state law in a state criminal trial... [and so] the State of North Carolina has the primary interests in this matter” is positively untenable when you realize that Attorney General Roy Cooper has personally requested federal intervention—and their behind-dosed-doors political maneuverings, this decision will forever remain among the most shameful chapters of the DOJ’s history. Indeed, as Cooney made clear to The News & Observer, the feds are “not saying there aren’t any crimes.” They’re simply saying that no official has the courage to investigate them.

**<y

david rademeyer

forty-tWO u drawn to the more macho crises, like the death penalty, civil war or genocide. I was blessed with an opportunity to help off campus at Durham’s Center for Death Penalty Litigation, and learned that there was the valuable work to be done saving people’s lives. However, I was also exposed to the activism related to the genocide in Darfur. In late 2004, there were still Westerners unaware of the ongoing genocide. While bothhouses ofCongress had unanimously passed a resolution declaring the conflict a state-sponsored genocide in June of that year, and President George W. Bush called it a genocide that September, very little had been done. Most ofthe students working on the issue on campus thought the best way to rectify this was by promoting wider awareness. Three years later, everyone is aware. Congress and the president have restated their declaration of genocide. Even the media has given the issue some coverage. I

honestly think that any American who still things must be experienced to be hasn’t heard that there’s a genocide going believed. I never believed that sexism was on in Sudan is willfully avoiding the infor- prevalent in our society until I got ajob. Alter mation. And yet, people keep dying. This all, in school, women outnumber and outtime, when the West stands up and loudly perform men, so it’seasy to dismiss someone proclaims “If only we’dknown!” it will be complaining about gender bias as a quaint an even more transparent lie than usual. anachronism. It wasn’t until I ventured into Concerned Americans are not going to the workforce that I realized that misogyny end the genocide in Darfur. Divestment or hadn’tgone the way of the LP. unilateraleconomic sanctions will just push And even when activists succeed in makSudan further into China’s sphere of influ- ing people “aware,” we can be a long way ence; the United States does not have the from a solution. The problem with enviresources—or, at this point, the political ronmentalism is that, once you have picked capital—available for unilateral military ac- the low-hanging fruit, continued progress is tion; and any attempt at a multilateral solu- extremely costly, and the benefits ofany pardon will be blocked by China. ticular policy are very hard to predict with Darfur’s problem is not a dearth of any accuracy. Hence, although most people awareness so much as a dearth of solutions, wouldrather not bake the Earth, it’s hardfor Thinking that flyering the campus will do them to embrace the tough measures that anything to end genocide in Darfur is a bit environmentalists claim will prevent us from like thinking that list-spamming will yield doing so. In the short term, it’s easier to dia proof of the Riemann hypothesis. In a vest from all seafront real estate inFlorida, world where China is on the prowl for natuBut that doesn’t prevent some people ral resources, the same holds for most state- from thinking that, if only people knew more about their cause, the problem would sponsored abuses of human rights. I hate to sound defeatist To be honest, go away. This is the only reason I can think Em sympathetic to the Darfuractivists: they’re offor the reason thatevery semester, in the doing the best they can under the drcum- pages of this newspaper, several people call stances, and though they may not come any for some curriculum reform to force everycloser to ending the genocide, or even to one to study their pet causes, Two classes on the environment will not lighting a fire in the belly of the American public, groups like the Save Darfur Coalition convince people to join the Sierra Club, have done incredible work raising funds for Hoping that two courses in cross-cultural inquiry will end racial tensions in Amerirefugees in neighboring countries like Chad. The frith in awareness activism is wide- ca—or on this campus—is a bit like thinkspread, though, and carries over to other ing slavery could have been ended with an causes where its benefits are even more effective flyering campaign, Some problems have no easy soludubious. Though “An Inconvenient Truth” have raised of warmtions. Awareness activists should stop awareness global may ing, I suspect the newfound will to make pretending otherwise sacrifices to address it has more to dowith the popular misconception that Hurricane David Rademeyer is a Trinity senior. This Katrina was caused by climate change, is his final column of the semester.

THE CHRONICLE

16 I MONDAY, DECEMBER 10,2007

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