FOR YOUR PRACTICE | HANDLING PERSONAL CHALLENGES
THE MASK OF SUCCESS:
When Professionals Live with Abuse BY AMANDA LEE
Sitting in my office, I snap a photo of the clock in the corner of my computer screen—5:15 p.m. I send the picture to my husband as proof that I’m still at work because it’s past 5:00 which is when I typically leave. On the rare occasion I’m out on a Friday night, I again pull out my phone and pretend to respond to a text, but really, I’m taking pictures of the women I’m with —as evidence that I’m out with friends he knows. Documenting and proving my daily activities have become my norm. Saturday mornings are always the same: I have at least one child in tow—often all three—because he presumably thinks a child will keep me in check which curtails the accusations and interrogation when I return home. Otherwise, I keep receipts as proof of my whereabouts. Every time my driveway comes in view my heart skips a beat and my chest
tightens. If I see his car as expected, it is a good sign. But if it’s there unexpectedly, he’s likely drunk or angry and I need to mentally prepare for either—or both. If his car isn’t there and it was expected, he likely will not come home until after the credits have run on The Tonight Show, or the Late Show, and on some occasions the morning news. I’m always prepared with an excuse for when the kids ask for Daddy. Each time I enter my house I walk through a glass enclosure leading to the door and I catch a glimpse of the missing pane on the bottom left. I remember the night I shattered that pane with a single kick as I fought to break free from being held against the wall. Whenever I notice someone glancing at the gap, I eagerly offer the explanation that it broke during a storm. For an entire month, I wear my long hair down because
MARYLAND BAR JOURNAL | VOLUME 7 ISSUE 1
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