Front Porch Magazine

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About the Cover From Us to You Finding Your Joy Home Sweet Log Home From Concept to Creation Spotlight on Burleson County Professional Directory The Doll & The Rose You Don’t Even Need A Passport Boost Your Brain Power Mickey Mouse Club Dirt Roads Seize Your History YOLO A Man Among Men The Generous One Story of the Praying Hands A Couple in Texas Dentistry with Family in Mind Carpe Diem - Seize the Day Fall Recipe Do’s & Don’ts for Your Pet ‘Twas the Time Santa Lost Weight Adventures with Baby Doll Not Just Patience A Sparkling Good Deal Heaven or Hell Taking Back Today Stop Your Quacking Family Favorites Are Energy Drinks Appropriate Papa’s Plump Pungent Possum It’s A God Thing Asset Allocation: Keeping Your Balance The Tattooed Stranger The Art Auction Talking to Your Doctor The Elephants Knew High Blood Pressure Are Apps Safe For My Child? The Past

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rom us to you

Editors Note

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or this edition of the Front Porch Magazine, we have chosen the theme Carpe’ diem, meaning seize the day, or live life fully. For many of you, the aphorism brings to mind the movie Dead Poet’s Society and Robin Williams’ portrayal of a professor in an exclusive boys’ school who teaches the young men to live life fully, to become what they want to be, and to read and study with gusto and application. Sadly, Robin Williams took his own life in August, but his life’s work leaves for us examples of just what he taught the boys in Dead Poet’s Society and in another great movie, Patch Adams. He wanted the young men and the doctors to live each day fully, not to see the learning or knowledge as the foremost accomplishment, but to see the person, to relate to the person. He wanted them to live, really live. It is our hope here at The Front Porch that you will be inspired by many of the articles to think about how you are living your lives, and that you will seek to see beyond the position or title of a person, and see the person. We know that living each day you are given with gusto, with compassion, with purpose will make your life rich.

Sandi Balcar, Publisher Scarlette Taylor, Editor and Advertising Manager

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by JoAn Majors

Part of the beauty of finding your joy is often in the jouney to joy. People are happy about a new job, retirement, new car, nice vacation or even great grades! Joy however is something that can be elusive and out of reach and isn’t attached to a “thing” at all. True “joy” comes from the Lord (within) but many times it is believed happiness comes from exterior sources. It reminds me of something simple that our busy and demanding lives today have made very complex. Did you know the word “joy” appears in the King James Version of the bible 165 times? People can be happy and lose their joy. When you see joy within someone you will most often also see peace. It is really very simple and obvious to those who understand the gifts He has given them and the joy they project when using those talents and gifts. My mother had joy like not many people I have ever known. If you have read any of my books or my stories, you have read about my mom. Briefly, if you please, she was a beautiful Hispanic woman who had lived a life of abuse until she met and married my dad. With a blended family of five and a new baby, mom had a massive stroke at only 29. Told she would never walk, talk or fully function again, she began her journey to joy. She was a fighter and 18 months later gave birth to the baby of the family and “favorite” child…if you ask me! Mom had many challenges, and after two battles with cancer, heart issues, joint replacements etc. she began her final fight with lung cancer while in a wheel chair after almost 10 years. If you met Mom and asked how she was doing, she always replied, “Me, uh blessed, honey!” She still had trouble with her language after her stroke but not with her message. She found joy in some of the toughest times of her life. Oddly enough her talent and gift were giving others joy. Who could complain to someone with the issues she had been through as she radiated joy…talk about feeling like a ding dong! Earlier this year, after a stirring experience of losing one of our closest friends, Mark Dziobala, we thought of Mark and how he had such joy, always. I remember being at Scott and White hospital in Temple years back when he was having a major sur-

gery…near his brain and him referencing what he wanted to happen if he didn’t make it. Seriously, Mark was full of joy that morning. He smiled as he shared that same story about seeing Sue years before and wanting that cheerleader to be his wife one day. He exuded joy when he was with others and when he talked about his love for his family. We sat visiting a week or so after Mark passed away; it was evident to us that we had lost that joy, joy like Mark had. We began to think about how being significant to others, giving more than we thought we should or often could, using the “gifts” He had given us and what in life truly was our joy. After much prayer we felt moved to expand our territory and explore a previous option to work with Dr. Steve and Judy O’Neal. I had at that time never met Judy-O as we joyously refer to her. Notice the name…it’s the same as my amazing mom, only she’s more like an older sister. The joy that began to unfold as we sat and visited, prayed and broke bread with this couple over the following weeks was miraculous. We knew that the thought of starting over with the purchase of another general dental practice was almost silly at our ages. The more we denied it the more joy we felt every time we were with them and heard the vision and they would hear ours. We began to make the necessary arrangements to move forward in the process. On June 10th this year we closed on their dental practice in Bryan. Then on June 14th (also my birthday) I had a phone call that my husband had taken a bad fall from a ladder while doing what Chuck does best, “working.” When I arrived at St. Joseph Hospital it was obvious he was still shaken up and had clearly damaged his right shoulder. Fast forward to the 18th, Dr. Bramhall did major surgery on his shoulder due to a class 5 shoulder separation. We were told he was not to do dentistry for at least 6 weeks. What does this have to do with joy? Well, it was in those next few weeks that the Lord began to show me just how beautiful the journey to joy could be. We have been blessed with 4 special practices in Chuck’s dental career. This one, the fourth and final as I refer to it has expanded our territory, opportunity to serve and clearly stretched us at this point in our lives. We didn’t want, nor did we need to start over. We purchased a practice in a medical/dental location of Bryan that would allow Chuck to do more of the types of procedures he has been trained and worked hard to do. These are the things that he finds great joy in doing. The things that

make him feel significant. It was an opportunity for us to work together again (if you know me you know I love dentistry) and it was wonderful. It is in these past few months though; that working alongside Judy-O I began to look at so many things differently. I began to learn what it meant to see joy in another person by giving. Judy O’Neal gives without thinking twice. She is an honest and kind woman who has loved and served the Lord fully with the joy she radiates. I regularly comment that Steve and Judy make us better people. Watching their love and respect in action for each other for their patients, family and those in their precious circles inspires. I can honestly say I find myself in awe of Judy and understand now fully why He put us with them. Dr. O’Neal said regularly, “I read an article about practice transitions and how when it’s right, you’ll just know that it’s right and it will be easy. This is right.” The moment Chuck was injured they were at the hospital and never left our sides. The next day, they showed up (it was Sunday/ Father’s day) and helped the workers who had been placing new floors put every piece of furniture back in the office and began to look at the schedule to see how they could make it work for us. Once we knew Chuck was out so to speak…the real work for the retiring couple began. What I have learned so much from this journey is that Judy and Steve understand and demonstrate Carpe Diem’ it is evident in the joy they exhibit when offering their time and gifts to help others. Don’t get me wrong… Dr. O’Neal says regularly that he is ready for his last day of practice. He and Judy both follow

this statement with “…but we are here to help y’all anyway we can.” Think about this, finding your joy might just be relaxing when you have someone who is just giving you grief; forgetting about the person who was a bit curt at the grocery store because you took too long to find your debit card. Remembering that in these instances where you feel most challenged, often-and I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, it’s not about you at all! It’s the wrong item. You are responsible for finding your joy in any moment. No one is responsible for your joy or your morale. If they affect you, they own you and your joy in that moment. Just DON’T DO IT! Find someone who will inspire you to do better, be better, find and demonstrate joy and by all means…Seize the day! JoAn Majors is a professional speaker and published author. Her articles have appeared in over 25 national and international magazines and newsletters. She writes articles regularly for many magazines. She is a devoted wife, mother and grandmother who also supports in the marketing efforts for her husband, Dr. Chuck Majors at MajorSmiles.com. You can learn more at www.joanmajors.com or call 1.866.51.CHOICE.

Home Sweet Log Home The front porch rch off Frankk and Shirleyy Kristoff is a vital part of their daily lives. Shirley says that they can’t think of a better way to begin their day than by sitting on the front porch, drinking coffee and watching the variety of birds and wildlife enjoying the wooded area surrounding their home. Frank and Shirley are long time residents of Burleson County. Frank, the son of the late Frank and Lydia Kristof, and Shirley, the daughter of the late Frank and Bessie Beseda, both graduated from Caldwell High, and after marriage lived in Caldwell until they moved into their log home in September 1985. Prior to the construction of their log home on CR 116, much clearing of the land had to be done. They’d purchased the acreage from Frank’s parents in 1978, and when they started work, there was only a small trail going a short distance. So, they and their daughter Kelly, along with cousins or friends, spent many week-ends clearing the land by hand. All the work created adventures and many happy memories. Their log home, now set among beautiful post oaks and yaupons, was truly a work for the couple. After the slab was poured in March 1984, the only other work contracted was the plumbing, fireplace and some interior framework. Frank and Shirley put up most of the logs themselves; however, they occasionally had help from family and friends. And brother-in-law, Gary Emola, built all the cabinets, stairway, and did trim work. Lloyd Lesikar, Frank’s cousin did the

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electrical work, and and d helped helped in other ways. Frank and Shirley enjoy sharing their home with friends and family, hosting holidays, dinners, birthdays, showers, and even a wedding. They especially enjoy the July 4th Kristof-Lesikar family reunion, and the St John’s Lutheran Church’s annual hayride and picnic. Frank’s careers have included heavy equipment operator for Zalmanek Construction and five terms as County Commissioner of Precinct One, Burleson County. Shirley worked for Texas A&M 17 years and then as a letter carrier in Bryan for 20 years. Their daughter Kelly works for CISD, is married to Scott Hughes who is the general manager of Bryan Freightliner. They have given Frank and Shirley two wonderful grandchildren, Westyn, 17, and Haven, 14. Westyn who is home schooled, has time to pursue his rodeo career. Last year, he was the CPRA, (Coyboy’s Professional Rodeo Assoc) and UPRA (United Professional Rodeo Assoc.) Tie Down Calf Roping Champ, the youngest to win these titles. Haven is in her freshman year at CHS, where she enjoys her friends and participating in volleyball. As many know, Frank and Shirley still own Kristof ’’s Christmas Tree Farm. Due to years of drought, the farm is smaller, so now they order Frazer Firs to supplement selections. They enjoy their home, spacious yard, family, and often find themselves enjoying their front porch.

From Concept to Creation J P Construction, owned by Juan P. Gutierrez, is home based out of Somerville, TX 77879. Gutierrez is a man of many talents, skills, and learning. In high school he learned the wood work and building trade. He gained further training as he worked with other contractors building and remodeling houses. Guiterrez is also a certified welder. His beginnings date back to his school days when he worked with his dad in oilfields. He is proficient in all three areas of welding,( Mic), wire welding, which he did for 10 years for Velmont, (Tic), welding precious metals which he did for Emerson after training in Houston, and (Arc) melting base metals, which he learned from his father and from schooling. As is true with most construction work, his hours vary; however, he works Mondays through Saturdays, and is flexible with his hours. He can be reached at 979.661.6729. And his email is jpconstruction557@gmail.com. He services the area. Juan Gutierrez is originally from Seminole, Texas. His fa-

ther worked in the oilfields, his mother was a homemaker, and he grew up with four brothers. He is married to his wife Norma, and they have three girls, Monic, Aylin, and Jackaylin. His brother Jesus helps him part time with welding and building. Gutierrez is a diligent worker and observant over-seer. He makes sure the work is done right whether it is building a house, doing repairs on a house, or repairing siding or roofing. His future plans include selecting a location for the building that will house JP Construction. He has several properties but wants to make a wise choice in locating his business. At present he is doing decorative welding at the entrance to Birch Creek Estate. He had done some decorative welding for them earlier, and they were so pleased they wanted him to add to it. If you have a building that needs to be constructed, or a repair project, be sure to contact JP Construction. Guiterrez will take care of you!

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S

potlight on

Burleson County’s

Unique Heritage

People in all walks of life influence those around them. In this column, we will be featuring those who have made an impact in our small towns.

Edgar Plemper - One of a Kind If you’ve lived in Caldwell for any length of time, you’ve probably had something to do with the Senior Citizen of note, Edgar Plemper. Been involved with the Rotary? He’s been a Rotarian for 50 years, maintaining a perfect attendance, as well as serving as president, VP, and other offices. Been involved with the Chamber of Commerce, he’s served there, and held the office of president. Been involved in NRA any year? Edgar has for many. One year he sold 200 of the 800 tickets sold for the Bryan-College Station chapter dinner and auctions. Attended First Baptist Church? He’s been and still is a member at First Church. There he served and reached out to young and old alike as he taught Sunday School classes, spoke of Christ, and encouraged or challenged everyone. And the list goes on and on with his involvements: Mason, Explorer Scout leader, City worker. Edgar attended Caldwell schools, graduating in 1934. He recalls the school having county-wide school events. His brother competed in the chin-up contest one year. After chinning 75 times, Coach Ox Darby stopped him. He said, “Boy, you can stop how; nobody’s going to beat that!” After going to Austin to further his education, he worked at Scholz Garden where he earned 10 cents for each one dollar’s worth of food he sold and he was provided a free meal. College student tipping was poor, if not non-existent, but two elderly German women would often tip him generously. And when Congress was in session, Scholz Garden was one of the main hangouts. He enjoyed meeting congressmen and hearing them discuss

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the laws to be introduced. Back to Burleson County in 1936, he went to work for Porter’s Farm, operating, maintaining the cotton gin which ran 5 am to 10:30 pm in picking season. In 1942 he married Ruby Hearn. They lived in and around Caldwell from then on. He always thought of Caldwell as progressive, even back then. Edgar began working for Lone Star Gas Company in 1945 and retired in 1974, working for them in both Caldwell and in Cameron for a few years. He then worked as City Secretary in Caldwell after the death of Doug Coleman. He worked there till he was age 76. Edgar loved raising longhorn steers as pets. Big Red. Maurice, Spot and Little Spot were favorites. Over the years he has mounted the heads of seven of his longhorns. Two of the mounts are in the Brazos County Museum along with a saddle. Quite a character would describe Edgar. He never meets a stranger, and even at 97 he is as lively as his aging body will let him be. His daughter Deborah remembers what a good dad he was and how in her childhood he’d get off from work late in the summer, and then take her and Richey to the pool though he’d worked all day, and they’d already been swimming. (He was instrumental in getting the pool built as he was able to furnish the backhoe). And she recalls his always introducing himself to strangers. If they were unchurched, he’d always invite them to First Baptist. His son Richey remembers his dad as a big trickster. When they had a creek behind their house in Cameron, Richey would harvest baby turtles and sell them. One day at the creek, there was

a loud, frightening noise. Thinking it was a bear, and hearing their dog Teetoe yelp, Richey started running up the hill to their house. Suddenly, he stopped and went back to get Deborah and carried her up the hill. What did they meet at the top? Dad outside laughing. Edgar has fond memories of friends and relatives who shared much of his life. One friend was Dr. Floyd Jones who worked with Edgar to lead Explorer Scouts. One year they took several young men canoeing down the Colorado for several days. Frank Beseda was another friend whom he spent much time with at the Beseda two-story home on Fox Street. He enjoyed Beseda’s sharing his knowledge of glassware, antique furniture, woodworking, arrowheads, and firearms…mostly Colt 45 pistols. Edgar’s first cousin and uncle, Clint Lewis and Clint Lewis, Sr, served Burleson County as sheriffs. When Clint, Jr. was elected, he was the youngest man to be elected sheriff in Texas. Later Clint ran and was elected as Burleson County Judge. We’d like to say thanks to you, Edgar, a man who has spent his life serving and interacting with the people of Caldwell and Burleson County. We wish God’s blessings on you.

professional directory Air Conditioning-Installation & Repair Reliant Mechanical Weaver’s Refrigeration Automobile Parts-Supplies-Repairs Auto Quality Service Burleson County Motor Supply dBm Auto Repair Groce’s Shell Kwik Kar Wilde Auto Plus Automobile Sales-Detail Caldwell Country Banks Citizens State Bank BarBQ Matus BarBQ Beauty Salon Cindy’s Hair Salon Bed & Breakfast Rocking H Bed & Breakfast Burleson County Events Fair Association Burleson County History Burleson Co. Historical Society Car Wash Waterworks Chemicals Project Chemicals Churches Church of Christ First Baptist City/Civic/Government Offices City of Caldwell Computer Repair Taylor PC Repair Construction C & H Building Construction JP Construction McManus & Haddox Convenience Store ZipN Texaco Copies/Printing/UPS ImageMaker Credit Repair iRestore Dentistry Drgac Dental MajorSmiles Dozer Services H.L. Hoyack J7 Service Electrical Co-Op Bluebonnet Electrical Service Stevenson’s Electrical Feed

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Faust Farms Homeyer Feed & supply Fencing Drgac Fencing Financials LPL Financial Florist Wine & Roses Foot Care Brazos Valley Foot Care Funeral Home Phillips & Luckey Strickland Funeral Gifts Wine & Roses Mad Hatters Hand Gun License Providence Hill Health Care Burleson St Joseph Manor Copperas Hollow Assisted Living Copperas Hollow Nursing & Rehab Guardian Health Care Hope Pregnancy Center Insurance Alford Insurance Company Farm Bureau Livestock & Commission Caldwell Livestock Com. Lumber Company Woodson’s Lumber Company Massage Therapy Healing Hands Pest Control Armstrong Pesticide Solutions Photography Ida Schuman Photography Plumbing DP Plumbing Real Estate Double “O” Team Home & Ranch Real Estate Restaurants & Catering Deanville Bar & Grill Freedom Ranch Church’s Chicken Golden Chick Le Caiman Blanc Lo Nuestro de Mexico Mad Hatters Tea Room Masfajitas Mexican Restaurant Mudd Katt’s Super Donuts Service Station Groce Shell Texaco Truck-Auto-Tires-Supplies Burleson County Motor Supply J&J Tire Service Mitchell Tire Service

37 39 63 53 13 2

Wilde Auto Plus Veterinarian BV-MVS Vitamins Roots & Shoots Water Well Drilling Loehr Drilling Co, Inc Welding & Fabricating BWM C&H Welding & Fabrication

36 37 62 23 61 14

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SANDI BALCAR & SCARLETTE TAYLOR

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SANDI BALCAR

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SCARLETTE TAYLOR

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SCHUMAN PHOTOGRAPHY

PUBLISHERS LAYOUT & DESIGN

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ADVERTISING SALES PHOTOGRAPHER CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

NEAL BEARD CHUCK BURGESS SUZY COHEN EDWIN H. COOPER BEVERLY DIZZINE TRACY FRANK TAMMY KUBECKA SHARON ANN LAFFERE JOAN MAJORS DR. JACK MCKEMIE DVM KAVON NOVAK RENITA ODSTRCIL DONNA VARNER PRESNAL DR. KIA PARSI DEL ROGERS, SR. SCARLETTE TAYLOR TONY TAYLOR POLLY WILLIAMS Phone 979.567.7871 979.567.6753 301 Hwy 21 E Caldwell, TX 77836 The contents of all articles do not represent the views of the Front Porch Magazine. The magazine claims no responsibility for the accuracy of information or content.

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The Doll & The Rose A story of love that will touch your heart and bring a tear to your eye.

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was walking around in a store. I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back saying "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll." Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. "It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for this Christmas. She was so sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her." I replied to him that may be Santa Claus will bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there." His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall." Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me, "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me." "I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but Daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister. " Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "What if we checked again, just in case you do have enough money?''

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"OK" he said, "I hope that I have enough." I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!" Then he looked at me and added, "I asked yesterday before I slept for God to make sure I have enough money to buy this doll so that mommy can give it to my sister. He heard me!'' "I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' "My mommy loves white roses." A few minutes later, the old lady came again and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article 2 days ago, which mentioned of a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car, where there was one young lady and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-assisting machine, because the young lady would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the newspaper that the young lady had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that this little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers I was eating breakfast with my 13-year-old granddaughter and I her, “What day is the 20th of February?” She said “It’s President’s Day!”

She is a smart kid. I asked “What does President’s Day mean?” I was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln… etc. She replied, “President’s Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House, and if he sees his shadow we have one more year of unemployment.” You know, it hurts when hot coffee spurts out your nose!

When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, “It’s no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.”

I was recently chosen as foreman for the jury I was on. We ended up acquitting the defendant. When we came back into the courtroom the judge yelled at us, “How were you able to acquit?” “Insanity,” I replied. “All 12 of you?” he retorted.

Have you ever noticed that a woman’s I’ll be ready in 5 minutes” and a man’s I’ll be home in 5 minutes” are exactly the same? 13

You Don’t Even Need a Passport

o need to travel to Mexico to enjoy Mexican quisine.....from tacos to Sopes Gorditos ..... you can enjoy these delicious dishes locally.

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Lo Nuestro De Mexico Taqueria offers Caldwell and area residents authentic Mexican food. Located at 1206 Highway 21 West, Lo Nuestro is open five days a week, Monday through Saturday from 5:30 am to 3:30 pm. The taqueria is open for breakfast and lunch. Owner Irma Smathers has been in the restaurant business since 2005. She began with a location at 515 North Main in Caldwell. Then, running out of space for

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her customers, she relocated to the 1206 Highway 21 West location in May 2014.

The breakfast offerings are a variety of breakfast tacos. You can fill your tortilla with eggs combined with bacon, or chariso, or sausage, or ham, or potato. The lunch menu includes tacos, as well: Fajita meat, chicken, marinated pork El Pastor. And you may select plates of beef enchiladas, chicken enchiladas, or fajita nachos, chicken nachos, or ground beef nachos. They also offer Sopes Gorditos, topped with veggies. Don’t miss a chance to enjoy authentic Mexican food at Lo Nuestro De Mexico

Taqueria. Call 979.567.0642.

Irma is excited about her restaurant with its great food and offers you a special invitation to come by and try a breakfast taco or a lunch plate. She knows that you’ll be glad you did, and says there is simply no better Mexican food around.

Lo Nuestro de Mexico 515 North Main Caldwell, TX 77836 979-567-0642

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Problems At Home A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly the man realized that the next day he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and lose), he wrote on a piece of paper, “Please wake me at 5:00 AM.” He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, “It’s 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Small Town Stop A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Stree. “Officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “No explanation needed!” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.” “But offficer, I have to tell you something.” The man tried again. “Just keep quiet! You’re going to jail and I’m not interested in what you have to say!” the officer barked. A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, “Lucky for you that the chief is at his daughter’s wedding. He’ll be in a good mood when he gets back.” “Don’t count on it,” answered the fellow in the cell. “I’m the groom.”

Warranty A notice telling the buyer when the product that was just purchased will no longer function.

BOOST YOUR

BRAIN POWER Beverly Dizzin, RMT, LVN has over 37 years experience in Preventative Health. She currently owns and operates Healing Hands Massage located at 200 N. Echols (inside the Cottage Beauty Shop) in Caldwell, Texas. For an appointment call 832.877.2387. Want to boost your brain power? Adults who were given a 15 minute chair massage in a small 1996 Touch Research Institute study were more alert and completed a series of math questions faster and more accurately than when the same adults were tested on similar questions without chair massage on a different day. For decades studies have shown that massage works to ease sore muscles after exercise. As little as 10 minutes of massage can reduce inflammation and help your body recover. The health benefits of touch extend beyond simply soothing aches and pains. The “stressed-out” have been proponents of the anxiety-busting procedure for years. A “rub down” is better for you than you think! Consider these nine reasons why you might start making massage a regular part of your health care. #1 Helps manage anxiety and depression. For the same reason that massage is relaxing, it can also sooth anxiety and depression. Massage reduces levels of the stress hormone cortisol, resulting in lifted spirits, and often lowers blood pres-

sure. It can also boost the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine, which are involved in depression. #2 Massage Eases Pain Eight out of ten Americans will experience back pain accoring to Time. com, but a massage can help! According to a 2011 study, massage helped people in pain feel and function better! #3 Massage improves sleep If you’ve ever dozed off on a massage table, you don’t need to be convinced that a massage helps promote healthy sleep. Massage affects delta waves, the kind of brain waves connected to deep sleep. #4 Massage boosts immunity Massage increases a person’s diseasefighting white blood cells, thus boosting the immune system - so important during flu season! #5 Kicks PMS symptoms to the curb. Massage helps eliminate bloating and mood swings by detoxing and balancing. #6 Raises alertness! Want to boost your brain power? Try a 15 minute chair massage on your lunch break! Many corporations are bringing massage therapists into the work day to increase production and minimize errors. #7 Headache Help

Just like muscle and back pain, headaches can be alleviated, thanks to massage. Regular massages can reduce a person’s number of headaches as well as the intensity. #8 Save face! That’s right! Massage increases blood flow which plumps up slack skin, encourages lymphatic drainage and adds vitality to a dull complexion. #9 Eases Cancer treatments Massage is particularly helpful for people living with or undergoing treatment for serious illnesses like cancer. Massage helps relieve fatigue, pain, anxiety, depression and nausea. O heck, people...don’t take my word for it! Try it yourself! Call your local massage therapist and make an appointment for yourself or a loved one. Take control of your personal health. Be proactive!

Ghandi

When Gandhi was studying law at the University College of London, there was a professor, whose last name was Peters, who felt animosity for Gandhi, and because Gandhi never lowered his head towards him, their “arguments” were very common. One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the dining room of the University and Gandhi came along with his tray and sat next to the professor. The professor, in his arrogance, said, “Mr Gandhi: you do not understand... a pig and a bird do not sit together to eat,” to which Gandhi replies, “You do not worry professor, I’ll fly away, “ and he went and sat at another table. Mr. Peters, green of rage, decides to take revenge on the next test, but Gandhi responds brilliantly to all questions. Then, Mr. Peters asked him the following question, “Mr. Gandhi, if you are walking down the street and find a package, and within it there is a bag of wisdom and another bag with a lot of money; which one will you take?” Without hesitating, Gandhi responded, “the one with the money, of course.” Mr. Peters, smiling, said, “I, in your place, would have taken the wisdom, don’t you think?” “Each one takes what one doesn’t have,” responded Gandhi indifferently. Mr. Peters, already hysteric, writes on the exam sheet the word “idiot” and gives it to Gandhi. Gandhi takes the exam sheet and sits down. A few minutes later, Gandhi goes to the professor and says, “Mr. Peters, you signed the sheet, but you did not give me the grade.”

mickey mouse

club

Edwin H. Cooper, writer of human interest stories and articles, has been published in many Texas magazines and newspapers, and is active in numerous civic and school organizations. His new book, 40 Years at Aggieland, was published in 2013.

F

aithful badge-carrying members of the Mickey Mouse Club gathered at the Palace Theatre downtown every Saturday morning. The picture show doors would open about 8:30 and the movies began at 9:00 running until noon. Children of all ages and of every description belonged to the Club. Stringent membership rules required that you wear a Mickey Mouse badge at the show. The badge could be had at the ticket booth for a nickel. The ticket, also, was a nickel for three hours of Hollywood’s best in cowboy movies, cartoons, serials and short features. Parents brought neighborhood kids by the carload, dumping them off at the Palace anticipating a few precious hours of shopping freedom or Saturday relaxing time. Most Mickey Mousers, however, arrived by dusty foot from all corners of town and the nearby country. The dress standards were liberal, permitting bare feet, blue suede shoes, tennis shoes, sun suits, dresses, overalls, ragged cut-offs or knicker trousers. Bowl haircuts (which go by another name today) were common. Regardless of attire, everyone was equal and in high spirit for the week’s great social event. Cooper’s Bakery was next door to the Palace Theatre and enjoyed a good business spin-off from the picture show crowd. Cookies, doughnuts, and cinnamon rolls were bought by the sackfull to help sustain young stomachs through an arduous three hour showing. A 15 cent purchase would provide three Mickey Mousers four doughnuts each—enough to hold them till popcorn time. One Saturday as show time approached amidst a backdrop of giggling and screaming, my dad asked Mr. Zimmerman, owner of all three San Marcos picture shows, how he could stay in business with tickets selling for five cents each. Zimmerman responded, “Cooper, my friend, I could let those kids in free and still make money. When you hold them in there for three hours, you can’t believe how much popcorn and candy we sell. There’s the profit.” My personal memories as a member of the club reflect back to the time zone 1935-1945. Some call those the golden years of Hollywood, when movies influenced American lives like nothing else could do. Movies helped pull our spirits through the Great Depression days and the tragedies of World War II. At Mickey Mouse, every little group of friends had their favorite seats. I could always be found on the 3rd row, 3rd seat from the right aisle, along with my colleagues from the Bobcat Club (our fraternal group). As girls began to be important in our lives, the fraternal instincts seemed to diminish and young couples fa-

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vored seats more to the rear where lighting was dim. Before the show began, messengers would move from one group to another conveying threats of bodily harm or even love notes. As show time approached, desperate screaming runs were made to the snack-bar for last minute sustenance. My personal favorite snack was a Hershey Bar mixed with popcorn until the mouth was stretched full. The chant would always begin, quietly at first, then louder. We want a show---we want a show---WE WANT A SHOW!!! These demands were accompanied by synchronized stomping of feet on the floor. Louis, the projectionist, seemed unaffected by al this turmoil and began the show when signaled that the snack bar had cleared of customers. Two or three cartoons always led the bill of fare. We had our favorites, of course, including Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Bugs Bunny, Popeye the Sailor, Felix the Cat, Porky Pig, Daffy Duck, Woody Woodpecker, and in later years, Wiley Coyote and The Roadrunner. The cartoons incited much noise and action by club members, numbering upwards, I’d say, of 200. Popcorn, pieces of ice, candy wrappers, chewing gum, spit wads---all manner of things were flung at each other or randomly into the crowd. Some things were thrown in dislike of the target, some in admiration, and some out of puppy love. I remember Jimmy crying through one entire cartoon because Billy Joe smacked him in the right ear with a spit wad fired at very close range. Short features and serials on a given Saturday might include The Green Hornet, Superman, Captain Kidd, Batman and Robin, or the Three Stooges. I remember the satire featurettes from comedian Robert Benchly appealed only to the older members who sat still and quiet for more than 15 seconds at a time, a minority to be sure. The management did not let us know what would be shown in advance, which caused increasing restlessness as time for the feature Cowboy Movie approached. You’d hear things like, “If this is another Roy Rogers musical, I’m leaving. We want guns, not guitars!” “This better be either Bob Steele or Tex Ritter. We had old Hopalong Cassidy and that sick horse of his last week.” Emotions ran high, but when the feature came on nobody left, except for trips to the snack bar or bathroom (less crowded now). It was almost impossible to hear the movie dialogue due to constant chatter among the patrons about what was about to happen, then the cheering for the good guys, and booing and hissing for the bad guys, (the ones with the black hats).

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers A couple was Christmas shopping. The shopping center was packed , and as the wife walked through one of the malls she was surprised when she looked around to find that her husband was nowhere to be seen. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do, and she became so worried that she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was. In a quiet voice he said, “Do you remember the jewelers we went into about five years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we couldn’t afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?” The wife choked up and started to cry and said, “Yes, I do remember that shop.” He replied, “Well, I’m in the bar next door.”

A doctor and an engineer entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking around, the doctor stole 3 chocolate bars. As they left the store, the doctor said to the engineer, “Man! I’m the best thief ever, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. You can’t beat that.” The engineer replied, “Okay, you wanna see something better? Let’s go back to the store and I’ll show you real stealing.” So they both went up to the counter and the engineer said to the shop boy, “Hey, would you like to see some magic?” The shop boy replied, “Yes!” The engineer said, “Give me one chocolate bar.” The shop boy gave him one, and he ate it... He asked for the second, and he ate that one as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too. The shop boy asked, “Okay, what are you trying to pull here? Where’s the magic?” The engineer replied, “Check in my friend’s pocket. You’ll find all three bars.”

There’s an endless list of historical projects that need to be done in our county, another county, any county....time seems to go by faster each year and more of our lives become “history”. Words can’t express how important it can be to your family, our county and country, for everyone to save some aspect of history. Are you interested in county history? There’s several historical groups in the county, and they all need help. Feel independent? Try transcribing some old records at the county clerk’s office. Feel adventuresome? Research an important person or event, make a few trips outside your comfort zone and see what you learn. Try reading old newspapers and learn what was important back when. Many papers are on the internet. Want to have more fun? Get your whole family involved! Let the kids search for topics on the internet and interview relatives. Let your grandparents tell you what they remember. Sticking with your own family history is a great way to start, and local historical groups like to have that kind of information on file for other researchers. Every family has some unique story....a tragedy, something funny, or something important. Some amazing information can come from reading old deeds and maps. Seeing family names on historical documents will help connect you to your ancestors, and build your family history. Family, old friends and neighbors come to life again as you walk through a cemetery, and remember the good times. Why not write those memories down?

Seize the opportunity to interview your elders....learn about the work they did on a farm, or what their schools were like. Check out old photos, write who is in the photo on back, and notice the fashion changes. Can you resist looking at the old cars in photos? And check out the flowered wallpaper in the background and all the women with “high hair!” Historical information gathered now is the only way future generations will know what we were all about. Has anyone ever written down the proper way to dress out a hog, or a deer? Do we have “instructions” on gardening or fishing? Can your grandparents tell you names of the local bands they danced to, and who played in them? Wouldn’t it be great to have lists of former school teachers, preachers, lawyers and doctors that worked here? You’ll learn when our county was founded, and why. You’ll learn when our courthouses were built and who was sheriff. You’ll learn who was mayor, who was hanged, when it snowed and when postage was still a nickel. It’s not hearsay, it’s history. People also gain the ability to teach what they learn. You can pass the stories down, and ensure that it isn’t lost. You can tell your own children who the people in the old photos are. You become a keeper of history with everything you learn and document. All it takes is paper and a pen, and you’ve preserved a bit of history forever. Don’t wait....seize your history!

20 Seize the opportunity to interview your elders...learn about the work they did, their schools....

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after a “social session” out with friends. Well, two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit. That’s when I did something that I’ve never done before - I took a cab home. Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was a cab they waved it past and I arrived home safely without incident. This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before. I don’t know where I got it and now that it’s in my garage, I don’t know what to do with it!

Rules of Life Never give yourself a haircut after three alcoholic beverages of any kind. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use the WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn’t, use the duct tape. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are “I apologize” and “You are right.” Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It’s easier to eat crow while it’s still warm. The only really good advice that your mother ever gave you was: “Go! You might meet somebody!” If he/she says that you are too good for him/her - believe them. Learn to pick your battles. Ask yourself, “Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?” If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance! Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you. Work is good, but it’s not that important. Be really nice to your friends and family. You may need them to empty your bedpan some day.

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YOLO Renita Odstrcil is a licensed Texas Realtor. She is a member of the National Association of Professional Women, the National and Texas Association of Realtors, and the local B/CS Association of Realtors.

For those of you who do not bother keeping up with social media technology, you may or may not know, that YOLO is the acronym that stands for “you only live once”. If you are one who keeps up with all the newest social media apps and sites, then more than likely you have seen YOLO being used quite a bit in recent years. The phrase itself has been around for ages, being quoted by many different writers and celebrities over the years. However, in 2011, the phrase was again popularized, along with its acronym, YOLO, when it was used in a song titled, “The Motto”, by Drake, a popular Canadian rapper. It seemed that after his song hit the charts, YOLO became the life motto for many teens and young adults everywhere. YOLO is often compared to “carpe diem” which means “seize the day.” The meaning of both is basically the same….you never know what tomorrow will bring, so live each day to the fullest. Well, for many of these teens and young adults, it seems that YOLO wound up with a little different meaning. For them it meant, “Let’s make hasty, unwise decisions because, after all, it is our life and we can do what we want.” You would often see a hashtag in front of YOLO, as in #yolo, after a status update on media sites such as “Twitter” and “Instagram” or sometimes even “Facebook.” Many times, the status updates would refer to something crazy or brash that they had just done and they wanted their friends to know about it. Most of these antics were done for the sake of having fun and that’s okay. Everybody should take time to have fun. It is also okay to take risks, to take chances, and to live life on your own terms. You cannot live your life based on other people’s thinking or opinions. However, it did not take long for others to see that many of these YOLO moments were not well thought out at all. Many of them were crossing the line and sometimes they were actually committing crimes with a total disregard of right from wrong. As said before, you don’t have to live your life doing what others think or tell you to do, but if you are constantly making poor decisions, sooner or later, you will have to face the consequences. I recently read on the Washington Post’s website that Robyn

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Dexter, campus editor of the Eastern Illinois University’s, Daily Eastern News, pointed out the recklessness of #YOLO to her fellow students. “When I see “YOLO” in a tweet, I know instantly that something unintelligent and cocky is going to follow,” she wrote. “There’s nothing wrong with taking risks in life and trying new things. I’m totally for that. But there’s a fine line between living your life to the fullest and making spur-of-themoment, completely irrational decisions.”

You never know what tomorrow will bring, so live each day to the fullest! Since 2011, YOLO has basically morphed from an acronym into being a type of slang word and in 2012 it was said to have not only been the most popular word of the year, but also the most hated. So even though, YOLO’s heyday has long passed, you will no doubt still see it bounced around here and there on different social media sites because there will probably still be someone who thinks it’s the perfect excuse for risky behavior and dangerous pranks. For the most part though, everyone seems to have gotten tired of all craziness brought on by this most recent popularization. As I mentioned earlier, the YOLO phrase has been used with many variations over the years but one of my favorites is that of Mae West in which she says, “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. Jim Carrey I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. Joan Rivers I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that’s a few steps ahead is the one that’s mad. ‘Helen Rowland Remember when I asked for your opinion? Yeah, me neither. Anonymous Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court. When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language. The Godfather tells the lawyer, “Ask him where the money is!” The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, “Where’s the money?” Guido signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.” The lawyer tells the Godfather, “He says he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.” The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido’s head and says, “Ask him again or I’ll kill him!” The lawyer signs to Guido, “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him.” Guido trembles and signs, “OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno’s house.” The Godfather asks the lawyer, “What did he say?” The lawyer replies, “He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger!”

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A MAN AMONG MEN By: Tony Taylor/McMullen County

I’m writing this article with a heavy heart. My dad Richard Taylor who has been a coach/administrator for the past 40 years has been diagnosed with prostate cancer in his bones. We found out this past March and our lives have been impacted immensely- mine, my mom Scarlette, my brother John and all of our family members as well. The cancer is in several of his bones and we’ve been through two rounds of Lupron thus far. I’ve always loved to write, I guess I got that skill, so to speak, from my mom. I’m guessing all those essays from English IV at Caldwell High School started the hate/love relationship. I hated it back then but have learned to love writing. The real satisfaction to me is being able to express feelings from my heart through a pen and paper. I got the title “A Man Among Men” from my former boss at Lampasas, Glen Jones. He and his wife Leslie recently lost Leslie’s dad, the late Moe Johnson who was a basketball coaching legend at Kyle in the 50’s taking some of those teams to the State Tournament. Moe had been battling some health issues for the past several years and when my dad was diagnosed with cancer, Glen and Leslie were two of the first to know. One day after a phone call with Glen, he told me that he though Moe and Richard were very similar men who just had a presence about them. I guess in the coaching world, we call it the “IT” factor. The more I thought about the phrase “A Man Among Men”, it just wouldn’t leave my mind. Any of us males can be a Man among Boys but to be A Man among Men requires that “little something extra.” It’s true, those four words sum up my DAD!! I know it’s taken me a while to get to the main points of the article, but I just want coaches/administrators/anyone in the field of education to know what MY MAN/MY DAD is all about, what he stands for and how he’s handled the last five months . First and foremost, my dad believes in these three principles- GOD, FAMILY, JOB/CAREER. He’s always told me that when these three are in line that you’ll have harmony and peace. He’s told me recently that when we get these “out of line” that the road of life can get bumpy. Trust me, I

know. There have been times when I have gone to him about a possible coaching move for advice, and he always comes back to this phrase. I can remember him saying GOD/FAMILY/JOB to his athletes at East Chambers as well, and here recently through his struggles with cancer he’s received many texts and messages from former players saying they are the men/women today because of him and the principles and values he preached and believed in during his coaching days. The second thing about my dad is that he became an administrator/principal after coaching for 17 years- the first two at Shepherd and the last fifteen at East Chambers. I like to say that he was a PRINCIPAL with PRINCIPLE. By saying that I mean he wasn’t and to this day is not afraid to take a stand for something or do the right thing under difficult circumstances. You know why? It’s because he’s a MAN!! That’s the problem with society nowadays, everyone just wants to “go with the flow” and not make a tough call or decision on something because someone might get offended. My dad has a belief system and he doesn’t waver from it. He’s made tough decisions over the years and some athletes/students/parents didn’t want to hear what he had to say at particular times, but I promise that in the long run he always had their best interests at heart. We don’t like to hear about our shortcomings, and many times it’s because they are true. My dad had a “gift” in this area by being able to relate to all types of students at school. He always laughs and says that over the years the “outlaws and knot heads” are the ones he seems to see more later in life, and they always come up to speak to him. I know why, they finally “get it,” and it’s because my dad cared about them and made a difference in their lives. Lastly, being a MAN requires some toughness, and I’ve never seen more exhibited lately than the amount that my dad has shown. I’m still coaching, the past three years I’ve been down in South Texas at McMullen County High School. I hear coaches/ analysts talk all the time about teams and athletes needing to develop a toughness about them both mentally and physically. I’m a basketball coach, so I think of Jay Bilas and his take on toughness. Well, after watching the last 5 months of my dad battle with bone cancer, I have a new appreciation for toughness. All of us coaches, including me and the TV analysts on ESPN, need to go to a cancer ward or watch someone dealing with cancer if you want to see TOUGHNESS!! The toughness we want our teams /athletes to have versus the toughness that a person battling cancer has “AIN’T EVEN IN THE SAME LEAGUE.” I tell

A MAN AMONG MEN Continued

you another thing. Spouses in the battle tend to get overlooked. They are tough also, fighting the fight both mentally and physically as well. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, my mom is a “LION TAMER”, she’s been in the trenches as well the last five months. In closing I will leave these for all of us to think about and maybe apply at our respective school. I’ve seen my dad have severe sweats from the Lupron and vomit because of the morphine, but as long as the Good Lord wants him here on earth, he rises from bed each morning and “fights the good fight.” I do know this, I’m a better MAN myself because of him and so are so many of his former players and students. My CHALLENGE for all of us COACHES/ADMINISTRATORS for the 2014-15 school year is to be a MAN among YOUNG MEN/WOMENmake an impact at your school and community, make a tough decision on behalf of a student. You never know what impact you might make on some students at your school which could help them later in life. Who knows how much longer I’ll have with my dad. I have no idea, but I do know this, I’ll cherish each second, minute, hour and day that I have with him. I LOVE YOU DAD and YOU ARE THE MAN!!!!! (PHIL 4:13)

Dumbest Criminals Watch Out For the Old Broads An 85-year-old woman heard someone break into her home one Sunday afternoon. She calmly walked past the teenager and into her bedroom where she got a .22 caliber gun she kept there. Then she came back out, pointed the gun at him and made him pick up the phone and call the police. She kept the gun pointed at him until the police arrived. The boy was charged with attempted burglary.

Don’t Forget to Pay Attention A man thought that the best time to steal a car would be when the driver was getting out of it. He watched a woman stop and park her car. He approached the car, attempting to steal it. The only problem was that the driver was in the process of attaching an anti theft device to the steering wheel. She used it to beat him over the head. He was arrested and charged with robbery, assault and grand larceny.

No Warrant? A man was charged with drug possession. At his trial, he claimed that the officers had searched him without a search warrant. The judge explained that they did not need one because the bulge in his pocket had looked like a gun. The man happened to be wearing the same jacket. When he handed it to the judge, a bag of cocaine fell out of the pocket. The judge had to take a five minute recess to regain his composure.

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The Generous One "Some people!" snorted a man standing behind me in the long line at the grocery store. "You would think the manager would pay attention and open another line," said a woman. I looked to the front of the line to see what the hold up was. I saw a well dressed, young woman, trying to get the machine to accept her credit card. No matter how many times she swiped it, the machine kept rejecting it. "It's one of them welfare card things. Damn people need to get a job like everyone else," said the man standing behind me. The young woman turned around to see who had made the comment. "It was me," he said, pointing to himself. The young lady's face began to change expression. Almost in tears, she dropped the welfare card onto the counter and quickly walked out of the store. Everyone in the checkout line watched as she began running to her car. Never looking back, she got in and drove away. After developing cancer in 1977 and having had to use food stamps, I had learned never to judge anyone without knowing the circumstances of their life. This turned out to be the case today. Several minutes later a young man walked into the store. He went up to the cashier and asked if she had seen the woman. After describing her, the cashier told him that she had run out

of the store, gotten into her car, and driven away. "Why would she do that?" asked the man. Everyone in the line looked around at the fellow who had made the statement. "I made a stupid comment about the welfare card she was using. Something I shouldn't have said. I'm sorry," said the man. "Well, that's bad—real bad, in fact. Her brother was killed in Afghanistan two years ago. He had three young children and she has taken on that responsibility. She is twenty years old, single, and now has three children to support," he said in a very firm voice. "I'm really truly sorry. I didn't know," he replied, shaking both his hands about. "Are these paid for?" he then asked. He pointed to the shopping cart full of groceries. "It wouldn't take her card," the clerk told him. "Do you know where she lives?" asked the man who had made the comment. "Yes, she goes to our church." "Excuse me," he said as he made his way to the front of the line. He pulled out his wallet, took out his credit card and told the cashier, "Please use my card. PLEASE!" The clerk took his credit card and began to ring up the young woman's groceries. "Hold on," said the gentleman. He walked back to his shopping cart and began loading his own groceries onto the belt to be included. "Come on people. We got three kids to help raise!" he told everyone in line. Everyone began to place their groceries onto the fast moving belt. A few customers began bagging the food and placing it into separate carts. "Go back and get two big turkeys," yelled a heavyset woman, as she looked at the man. "NO," yelled the man. Everyone stopped dead in their tracks. The entire store became quiet for several seconds. "Four turkeys," yelled the man. Everyone began laughing and went back to work. When all was said and done, the man paid a total of $1,646.57 for the groceries. He walked over to the side, pulled out his check book, and began writing a check—using the bags of dog food piled near the front of the store for a writing surface. He turned around and handed the check to the young man. "She will need a freezer and a few other things as well," he told the man. The young man looked at the check and said, "This is really very generous of you." "No," said the man. "Her brother was the generous one." Everyone in the store began to clap. I drove home that day feeling very American.

The Story of the Praying Hands Painting

B

ack in the fifteenth century, in a tiny village near Nuremberg, lived a family with eighteen children. Eighteen! In order merely to keep food on the table for this mob, the father and head of the household, a goldsmith by profession, worked almost eighteen hours a day at his trade and any other paying chore he could find in the neighborhood. Despite their seemingly hopeless condition, two of the elder children, Albrecht and Albert, had a dream. They both wanted to pursue their talent for art, but they knew full well that their father would never be financially able to send either of them to Nuremberg to study at the Academy. After many long discussions at night in their crowded bed, the two boys finally worked out a pact. They would toss a coin. The loser would go down into the nearby mines and, with his earnings, support his brother while he attended the academy. Then, when that brother who won the toss completed his studies, in four years, he would support the other brother at the academy, either with sales of his artwork or, if necessary, also by laboring in the mines. They tossed a coin on a Sunday morning after church. Albrecht Durer won the toss and went off to Nuremberg. Albert went down into the dangerous mines and, for the next four years, financed his brother, whose work at the academy was almost an immediate sensation. Albrecht's etchings, his woodcuts, and his oils were far better than those of most of his professors, and by the time he graduated, he was beginning to earn considerable fees for his commissioned works. When the young artist returned to his village, the Durer family held a festive dinner on their lawn to celebrate Albrecht's triumphant homecoming. After a long and memorable meal, punctuated with music and laughter, Albrecht rose from his honored position at the head of the table to drink a toast to his beloved brother for the years of sacrifice that had enabled Albrecht to fulfill

his ambition. His closing words were, "And now, Albert, blessed brother of mine, now it is your turn. Now you can go to Nuremberg to pursue your dream, and I will take care of you." All heads turned in eager expectation to the far end of the table where Albert sat, tears streaming down his pale face, shaking his lowered head from side to side while he sobbed and repeated, over and over, "No... no... no... no." Finally, Albert rose and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He glanced down the long table at the faces he loved, and then, holding his hands close to his right cheek, he said softly, "No, brother. I cannot go to Nuremberg. It is too late for me. Look... Look what four years in the mines have done to my hands! The bones in every finger have been smashed at least once, and lately I have been suffering from arthritis so badly in my right hand that I cannot even hold a glass to return your toast, much less make delicate lines on parchment or canvas with a pen or a brush. No, brother... for me it is too late." More than 450 years have passed. By now, Albrecht Durer's hundreds of masterful portraits, pen and silver-point sketches, water colors, charcoals, woodcuts, and copper engravings hang in every great museum in the world, but the odds are great that you, like most people, are familiar with only one of Albrecht Durer's works. More than merely being familiar with it, you very well may have a reproduction hanging in your home or office. One day, to pay homage to Albert for all that he had sacrificed, Albrecht Durer painstakingly drew his brother's abused hands with palms together and thin fingers stretched skyward. He called his powerful drawing simply "Hands," but the entire world almost immediately opened their hearts to his great masterpiece and renamed his tribute of love "The Praying Hands." The next time you see a copy of that touching creation, take a second look. Let it be your reminder, that no one - no one - ever makes it alone!

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers A woman rushes to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off, “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were blood-shot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What’s wrong with me, Doctor?” The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says, “Well, I can tell you one thing... there ain’t nothing wrong with your eyesight.”

The insurance agent sat at the kitchen table wearing a white shirt with neck tie. The dusty cowboy offered him a cup of six gun coffee as he sat down. The agent began to ask some question as he pulled out the papers of Insurance application. “Have you ever had an accident,” questions the agent to the cowboy. “Nope, can’t say I have,” the Cowboy answered. “Not even one?” asked the agent incredulously as he help fill out the policy. “Nope,” the cowboy insisted. “Never been injured working here on the ranch” inquired the agent. The cowboy removed his hat, scratched his head and said, “Well....a Rattler bit me once.” They agent exclaimed, “And you don’t call that an accident?” “No sir. That darn rattler done it on-purpose.” Front Porch Magazine would like to thank our advertisers and writers for their continued support.

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A Couple in Texas had a lot of potted plants... . . . and during a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing in a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream. The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living room naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake under the sofa. He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he fainted. His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out. About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the stretcher. That’s when the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital. The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she called on a neighbor man. He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch. Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the sofa in relief. But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the snake rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man seeing her laying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her. The neighbor’s wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, saw her husband’s mouth on the woman’s mouth and slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. An ambulance was again called and it was determined that the injury required hospitalization. The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she assumed he had been bitten by the snake. She went to the kitchen, brought back a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man’s throat. By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all, when the two women tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake. They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife. Just then the little snake crawled out from under the couch,

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One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on one side of the sofa. The table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes. The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell through the window into the yard on top of the family dog, who startled, jumped up, and raced out into the street, where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car and set it on fire. Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and the entire house was blazing. Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving fire-truck had started raising his ladder as they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the electricity and disconnected the telephones in a ten-square city block area. Time passed .... Both men were discharged from the hospital, The house was re-built, The police acquired a new car, and all was right with their world . About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman announced a cold snap for that night. The husband asked his wife if she thought they should bring in their plants for the night. She shot him.

DentistryWithFamily In Mind Drgac Dental is located right off Highway 21, at CEREC Machine allows crowns to be made in two hours. So there is no need for two appointments or temporaries. 602 North Gray Street, in Caldwell, Texas. Crowns are made right in the office.

World class dentistry is truly close to home, providing for your family needs, as well as any cosmetic needs. In an office staffed with personnel who have combined experience that exceeds 100 years, you’ll encounter compassionate and accommodating care when you walk through the doors. You’ll feel safe, comfortable, and at home.

Dr. L. Lane Drgac graduated from Texas A &M University in 1994, and from the University of Texas Dental School in Houston in 1998. He is married to Nicki Alford Drgac, who works as the District Testing Coordinator for Caldwell ISD. Their three children are Dylan, a freshman at TLU, Daleigh, a sophomore at CHS, and Delayni, a sixth grader The staff yearly spends time attending continuing educa- at CMS. tion, learning the latest dental techniques and technologies in order to offer the best to you. Services include all You can go on line to www.drgacdental.com for informaphases of general dentistry: Oral surgery, Endodontics, tion about Drgac Dental, or you can contact the office by Periodontics, Cosmetic and Restorative Dentistry. Teeth calling 979.567.3273. The fax number is 979.567.6318. Dr. whitening, Digital x-rays, Sedation dentistry, CT Scans, Drgac and the staff invite you to come in and let Drgac Soft-tissue Laser Treatment, same day crowns. Their Dental be your caring place for dental care .

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CARPE DIEM SEIZE THE DAY

The centerfold this edition shows art work done by residents of Burleson St Joseph Manor in Caldwell. Sherri Peters, coordinator of events, spoke of the residents and their activities at St Joseph. She feels good about their involvements, especially with the artwork. When first presented with paint and sculpting materials, several residents were a bit unsure. But it was explained that they weren’t being asked to paint the Mona Lisa. They were shown some abstract art and then encouraged to choose some colors they liked. Several began to work at painting, but some would not paint around other residents but chose to go to Peters’ office to do theirs. Since painting and sculpting, the residents seem more willing now. One of the women said, “I’m having a second childhood, but this one is fun.” One resident who had suffered 13 strokes, was an artist, and though reluctant to paint at first, in the end was happy with her picture. The painting has contributed to a better frame of mind, and a willingness to care about and help others at St Joseph. The residents are encouraged to show kindness toward one another, and they have all been working on the concept of “helping the fellow next to you” says Peters. If one can’t see well, or another can’t hear well, or another needs help moving, then the ones who can help in some ways are encouraged to be the helper they can be. The names of these amazing artists are: Mildred Weiderhold Alma Mynar Joanna Moses Harvey Stall Ruthelle Guinn Joe Bradley Ruth Peters Lena Alexander Elizabeth Piwonka Jo Dunn Ruth Sargent Maren Stewart Lenora Weber Florida Allen Doris Shaw

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FALL Recipe Butternut Squash Soup

5 tablespoons butter 2 1/2 pounds butternut squash, peeled, seeded, cut into 1/2inch pieces (about 6 cups) 2 cups chopped leeks (white and pale green parts only) 1/2 cup chopped peeled carrot 1/2 cup chopped celery 2 small Granny Smith apples, peeled, cored, chopped 1 1/2 teaspoons dried thyme 1/2 teaspoon crumbled dried sage leaves 5 cups chicken stock or canned low-salt chicken broth 1 1/2 cups apple cider 2/3 cup sour cream 1/2 cup whipping cream Chopped fresh chives

Preparation Melt butter in heavy large saucepan over medium-high heat. Add squash, leeks, carrot and celery; sautĂŠ until slightly softened, about 15 minutes. Mix in apples, thyme and sage. Add stock and 1 cup cider and bring to boil. Reduce heat to medium-low. Cover and simmer until apples are tender, stirring occasionally, about 30 minutes. Cool slightly. Working in batches, purĂŠe soup in blender. Return soup to pan. Boil remaining 1/2 cup cider in heavy small saucepan until reduced to 1/4 cup, about 5 minutes. Cool. Place sour cream in small bowl. Whisk in reduced cider. (Soup and cider cream can be made 1 day ahead. Cover separately and refrigerate.) Bring soup to simmer. Mix in whipping cream. Ladle soup into bowls. Drizzle with cider cream. Top with your choice of chives, green onions, etc. Serves 10

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The Deer Hunt 1:00 AM Alarm clock rings. 2:00 AM Hunting partners arrive, drag you out of bed. 2:30 AM Throw everything but kitchen sink in camper. 3:00 AM Leave for deep woods. 3:15AM Drive back home and pick up gun. 3:30 AM Drive like mad to get to woods before daylight. 4:00 AM Set up camp - forgot the sleeping tent. 4:30 AM Head into woods. 6:05 AM See eight deer. 6:06 AM Take aim and squeeze trigger. 6:07 AM “CLICK” 6:08 AM Load gun while watching deer go over hill. 8:00 AM Head back to camp. 9:00 AM Still looking for camp. 10:00 AM Realize you don’t know where camp is. NOON Fire gun for help - eat wild berries. 12:15 PM Ran out of bullets - eight deer come back. 12:20 PM Strange feeling in stomach. 12:30 PM Realize you ate poison berries. 12:45 PM Rescued and rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped. 3:00 PM Arrive back at camp. 3:30 PM Leave camp to kill deer. 4:00 PM Return to camp for bullets. 4:01 PM Load gun - leave camp again. 5:00 PM Empty gun on squirrel that’s bugging you. 6:00 PM Arrive at camp, see deer grazing in camp. 6:01 PM Load gun and fire. 6:02 PM One dead pick-up truck. 6:04 PM Hunting partner returnes to camp dragging deer. 6:06 PM Repress strong desire to shoot partner. 6:07 PM Fall into fire. 6:10 PM Change clothes - throw burned ones into fire. 6:15 PM Take pick-up, leave partner and his deer in the woods. 6:25 PM Pick-up boils over due to hole shot in block. 6:26 PM Start walking, stumble and fall, drop gun in mud. 6:35 PM Meet bear and take aim. 6:37 PM Fire gun - blow up barrel plugged with mud. 6:38 PM Rip my pants. 6:39 PM Climb tree 9:00 PM Bear departs, I wrap gun around tree. MIDNIGHT Home at last. SUNDAY-Following church services, watch ball game on TV, slowly tear hunting license into pieces, place into envelope and mail to game warden.

DO’S AND DON’TS FOR YOUR PET DURING THE FALL AND HOLIDAY SEASON by Jack F. McKemie, DVM during the cold harsh days. Provided your pets are not obese, their plan of nutrition should also be increased to compensate for the increased metabolic needs during the winter season. Clean fresh water is always a must and drinking should be encouraged, especially equine, to reduce the incidence of impaction colic. Exposure to seasonal environmental toxins, like rodent bait, mole bait, ethylene glycol (antifreeze), batteries and mothballs should be guarded against as well. The first strong cool front has come and gone. This reminded me of some very common problems I see every winter season regarding pets and livestock. The fall and winter months are a time of family celebrations and cooler, wet weather. This article pertains to all animals (pets and livestock). It will hopefully help you to keep a safe home for your pets and a more productive livestock operation. With the cooler, wet weather, we must guard against hypothermia for all animals, but especially the geriatric and very young. Outdoor pets should be allowed indoors or provided heat support in a dry area away from the northern exposure. Livestock should have a wind break (trees/ brush) or a constructed shelter. Livestock need free choice, quality hay in addition to a balanced commercial feed twice a day

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burns in the oral cavity, lungs and possible death. Christmas ornaments, tinsel, ribbon and lights can cause gastrointestinal obstruction with the need for an expensive surgery. Consult your primary care veterinarian, Texas A&M Veterinarian hospital (979/845-2351) or poison control resources like ASPCA Poison Control (888-426-4435) or National Animal Poison Control (900-680-0000 or 800-5482423) before self medicating and treating your pet with any medications.

The holiday season brings family, friends and parties with special foods and seasonal plants. Pets should be kept on the normal diet and no table food. If you provide a special treat, then make sure it is designed for pets. At all cost, avoid exposure to onions, garlic, raisins, grapes, macadamia nuts, chocolate (ALL types), raw dough, xylitol (sugar free candy) and grease or fatty foods. Plants such as the dreaded Poinsettia (not as toxic as thought to be), mistletoe, holly and lilies can cause various degrees of gastrointestinal disease. Lily ingestion frequently can cause kidney failure and death.

Finally, I would like to discuss with you your pets and their interactions with other family members, guest and new pets. During the holiday season, family members and guest visit more frequently, often bringing their own pets. You should make sure that these interactions are monitored closely or avoided all together. Your pet’s temperament will guide you. Animal bites to humans and pet on pet attacks spike during this time of year. Do not allow your pets to beg or bother your guest, this usually leads to bad habits, human bites and gastrointestinal disease. If you are giving a new pet as a gift, consider a gift certificate or a card with the pet’s picture instead of presenting a live but very stressed puppy or kitten that could get gastrointestinal disease, hypoglycemia then seizure and possible death. Always consider what this cute puppy will be like when they are mature and if this animal is a good fit for the family. I would also highly recommend a visit to the animal shelters in order to provide an unwanted animal a happy holiday.

Other seasonal hazards include chewing electrical cords or consuming tobacco, alcohol, Christmas tree water and ornaments. Electric cords can cause serious

Cheers and have a warm and safe winter season!

‘Twas the Time Santa Lost Weight by Chuck Burgess

‘Twas some time before Christmas and Santa did say, “I’ve got to lose weight to fit in that sleigh.” He started to jog, he started to diet. Anything promising - he would try it. With diligence he did work on his middle, And after a while he was fit as a fiddle! He put on his suit and it hung like a flag. Where it used to bulge, now it just sagged. “Oh no!” He shouted, and shook his head. “This suit will not do. And besides it’s too red.” He hopped in his sleight, to the tailors he flew. They made his a three-piece, in baby blue. “And the sleigh - too old fashioned,” he thought. Down to the dealer, a Limo he bought. Now with class and style, and so full of poise, St. Nick set out to deliver his toys. But at the first few cities and towns, All he encountered was cold stares and frowns. They cried, “Who’s that Yuppie trying to fool? He’s too slim, too blue, and he’s acting too cool!” Santa looked in the mirror before the next town. He saw who he was, and he quickly turned ‘round. Mrs. Claus had a feeling that he would be back. He had not even bothered to take his big sack!

The sleigh she had polished, the reindeer were fed. His suit was dry cleaned - the one that was red. Santa raced to the pole and skid to a halt. Mrs. Claus was ready with a ten gallon malt, And pies, and cookies and several cakes. Enough to give him his jelly - like shakes. He put on his suit and ran to his sleigh. With a twinkle in his eye, he whisked away. For some things don’t change, and shouldn’t, you know. Like jolly St. Nick, and his Ho-Ho-Ho!

An avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, the eternal pessimist who refused to be impressed with anything. This, surely, would impress him. He invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded the pessimist. "He cant swim."

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Adventures with Baby Doll

by Donna Presnal Retired Teacher Caldwell High School Graduate

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onderful people and adventures exist all around us, if we just choose to seek them out. I never thought being awake at 4:45 a.m. to comfort my grand baby, would be so entertaining, but there I was in the rocking chair, singing lullabies, and “I’ve got the Love of Jesus, Down in My Heart.” I’ve always thought my singing in Katie’s Chorus was a high school thing, but I see now that getting my little sweetie to laugh, was the best reason for all those singing lessons. A few days ago, while at the pediatrician’s office with my daughter and our Baby Doll, I was rendered speechless by a comment from the young nurse, who was administering baby’s first flu shot. The little blond nurse was explaining that when she was a little older, baby could have her flu shot in a mist or in a shot. I chirped in that getting the mist sounded good to me. The nurse made my day by replying that, “It’s only for people four years old to age fifty-nine.” Her tone implying that I was out of luck. I’m thinking, gee, thanks lady! I was doing a pretty good job of telling myself I’m a young sixty something, until this moment. She did have the grace to exit the room quickly. During my two days a week with Baby Doll, I practice something called “The Dream Feed.” The dream feed takes place around 11:00 p.m. I’ve discovered it’s not a slam dunk. There are specific tricks to mastering a successful night mission. 1) I must have the bottle warmed, ready, and on the night stand next to the rocking chair. 2) I must sneak up to Baby Doll’s baby bed, stealthy scoop her from her heavy dream filled sleep, and quietly walk to the rocking chair without stumbling, or making any startling sounds. 3) It is imperative to lay her in my lap making sure to have a pillow under her head, and quickly stuff the bottle in her little mouth. 4) There can be no talking to her, or acknowledging my presence in any way. With any luck, she takes the entire six ounce bottle without waking up, assuring both her, and me, of undisturbed sleep, until at least 5:30 or 6:00 a.m. the next morning. On this particular night, after laying her back in her soft nest, I begin the process of slinking noiselessly out of her darkened room, when all of a sudden, she begins making baby noises. I drop quickly to the floor, crawling silently, in perfect ninja style, or as I like to think, night fairy mode. I victoriously make it through the “Quiet Baby Is Sleeping” sign at the edge of the room, and in to my bedroom, with no other sound but soft breathing heard from the baby monitor. Success! The last critical mission of my day completed. The following morning, on our daily stroll to the park, we see a huge monarch butterfly float over the baby carriage, flowers

blooming, blue jays, chirping because of some lost territory, and carefree children swimming in the neighborhood pool. By the playground we see two old men in white shorts and shirts, happily playing tennis, who, like me, are ecstatic at their new found liberty from career duties; filling their freedom filled days by doing exactly what they have dreamed of. Spending my days with all that little innocence renews me, and reminds me once again that it’s not money that buys happiness; its friends and family, and treasures that money cannot buy, that gives life meaning. Sometimes the most wonderful people and adventures exist all around us. We just have to choose to seek them out.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Getting Old Is No Problem in Texas An 80-year-old Texas farmer goes to the clinic in Dallas for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, “How do you stay in such great physical condition?” “I’m from Texas and in my spare time I like to hunt and fish,” says the old guy, “and that’s why I’m In such good shape. I’m up well before daylight in the field plowing and mending fences and when I’m not doing that, I’m out hunting or fishing. In the evening, I have a beer and all is well.” “Well,” says the doctor, “I’m sure that helps, but there’s got to be more to it. How old was your father when he died?”

“Who said my father’s dead?” The doctor is amazed, “You mean you’re 80 years old and your father’s still alive? How old is he?” “He’s 100 years old,” says the old Texas boy. “In fact he worked and hunted with me this morning. Then we went to the topless bar for a while and had some beers. That’s why he’s still alive. He’s a Texas farmer. And he’s a hunter and fisherman, too.” “Well,” the doctor says, “that’s great, but I’m sure there’s more to it than that. How about your father’s father? How old was he when he died?” “Who said my Grandpa’s dead?” Stunned, the doctor asks, “you mean you’re 80 years old and your grandfather is still alive?” “He’s 118 years old,” says the man. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, “So, I guess he went hunting with you this morning too?” “No, Grandpa couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married today.” At this point the doctor is close to losing it, “Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?” “Who said he wanted to?”

…Not Just Patience

an expression of honoring God. Then later as Satan and God talked, Satan told God that a man would give all for his own life. So God allowed Satan to touch Job’s body and make him suffer, but not kill him. The suffering began. He had painful boils from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head. What pain! Have you ever had a boil? One single boil? I have, and it was extremely painful. Boils all over his body, I can’t imagine! At this, Job’s wife was ready for him to curse God and die. But Job rebuked her and asked her, “Shall we indeed accept good from God, and shall we not accept adversity?” (2:10) How about that response? I agree that we can take a lot of difficulty in life, but when it comes to physically suffering, that is a different subject. Job was ready to accept adversity from God, and not question why, or what, or who. He knew he’d been blessed by God, so now he was ready to face adversity which he thought was from God. I know we love to be blessed in life. And when the hard times come, some of us want to question or want to understand why. But many people are drawn closer to God, as Job seems to have done. Job was not only worshipful but was accepting of adversity. Job struggled with life as it was; truly, it was unbelievably hard. He discussed whether it would have been better not to have been born. And then he heard from his three “friends” who just knew he was not innocent. But Job knew his own heart. He describes his grief and the calamity as heavier than the sand of the sea. He spoke of the weariness of nights, the sleeplessness. But then he speaks of God’s wisdom in heart and his might in strength, and acknowledges how no one could contend with Him. He even said, “He does great things past finding out, yes, wonders without number.” Job knew God to be God. Job knew God is great, that he can do wonders. He acknowledged God as supreme. In the end, his visiting friends condemned Job, but he was righteous in his own eyes. In fact, he got a bit prideful. They had found no answer yet they condemned Job. And then God questioned Job and leads Job to understand who he, a limited man, is. He goes into great detail asking Job if he can do things… stating myriad thing that God had done in creation, laying the earth’s foundation, putting the stars together, shutting the sea doors, commanding the morning, walking in the depths of the sea, knowing the way to the dwelling of light, entering the treasury of snow, dividing the path for a thunderbolt…on and on, God questions Job’s abilities. In the end, Job said, “I know You can do everything.” And Job repented. What a maturity. So often, we find it hard to repent. We try everything except repentance. God knew his man Job. He was a man of worship, a man who accepted good as well as hard from God, a man of repentance, and one who acknowledged God. He worshiped, accepted, repented, and acknowledged God, as well as being patient while going through most trying times. In the end, the Lord blessed the latter days of Job more than his beginning days. He doubled the numbers of animals, and he gave him another seven sons and three most beautiful daughters. Job lived 140 years and saw his grandchildren for four generations. He died, old and full of days.

Most everyone has heard of Job. That’s Job of the Bible, specifically the Old Testament. He’s known for his patience, and we often hear an expression such as, “She has the patience of Job.” He’s known for being patient and suffering much loss and personal pain. Recently, in my own life, I’ve been going through some hard times: a loved one with cancer, watching him struggle with pain, and not being able to do anything to stop the pain. Facing life much differently than I ever have, unsure of what each day will bring. I was reading Scripture near the book of Job one day, and when I saw the book I determined to read it again. I read thinking of patience, which I have need of, but as I read, I became aware of other qualities that I’d not readily ascribed to Job. As you may remember, God was actually allowing the devil, Satan, to try Job by taking things from him, and then by causing Job to suffer great physical pain. God had said to Satan that Job was “blameless and upright, one who fears God and shuns evil.” God allowed Satan to try Job. Of course, Job didn’t know God was allowing this in order to prove himself to be who God had said. God allowed Satan to cause Job’s great loss. The Bible states that Job was ”the greatest of all the people of the East.” His possessions were vast: 7000 sheep, 3000 camels, 500 yoke of oxen, 500 female donkeys, and a very large household. His possessions were taken from him, and his seven sons and three daughters were killed. A great wind caused the walls of the house they were in to fall on all ten of them. Such tragedy is unimaginable for the vast majority of us: possessions gone, and all his children dead. Such pain to endure… But Scripture says Job did not sin nor charge God with wrong. In fact, he said, “Blessed be the name of the Lord” after he’d torn his robe and shaved his head and fallen to the ground to worship.” (Job 1:20, 22). As I read those words, I was amazed. The words really hit me as I read them. Job had been told of all the losses of possessions and then the loss of every one of his children, and what did he do? He fell to the ground to worship…not to weep, not to blame, not to question, not to mourn. No, he fell to the ground to worship. How many of us would have worship as an initial reaction at the loss of a child, much less every child? I believe we should be remember Job as a man of worship. What Written by Scarlette Taylor

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Sparkling Good Deal Offering convenience and personal service for the busy individual In a hurry...all dressed up....short on time....or just don’t feel like washing that dirty car.... You may have noticed as you’ve driven down Highway 36 North that there is a new car wash in Caldwell. Water Works Car Wash at 621 Hwy 36 N provides a variety of services. Owner, Terry Garrett recognized the need for a deluxe car wash and obtained a state of the art machine that can provide you with just what you need to keep your vehicle nice and clean. Water Works is open 7 days a week, 24 hours a day. Attendents are on duty from 7:00 am to 7:00 pm, 7 days a week, weather permitting. The choices of washes provided include: A $6.00 Wash only, A $7.00 Wash and wax, A $9.00 Deluxe wash and wax, no attendant A $12.00 Attendant prewash with a deluxe wash and wax. The attendant prewash includes a prewash, lower body scrub, tire scrub, bug removal, and a foam pad scrub. You will be pleased with the attendant’s focus on detail. For your further needs, on site there are vacuum cleaners, a shammy dispenser, a fragrance dispenser, and an Armor All dispenser. Manager Malissa Dingman is available much of the time. Change will be provided by attendents; there is no money machine. You are sure to be pleased with your experience at Water Works Car Wash. As they say, “Let us do the work for you!”

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While walking down the street one day a Corrupt Senator was tragically hit by a car and died. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. “Welcome to heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.” “No problem, just let me in,” says the Senator. “Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from the higher ups. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.” “Really?, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,” says the Senator. “I’m sorry, but we have our rules.” And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people. They played a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and the finest champagne.

Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who is having a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are all having such a good time that before the Senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens in heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him, “Now it’s time to visit heaven...” So, 24 hours passed with the Senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. “Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.” The Senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: “Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.” So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell... Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls to the ground. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulders. “I don’t understand,” stammers the Senator. “Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?” The devil smiles at him and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning, Today, you voted..”

Vote wisely on Election Day!!!

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By Tracy Frank Executive Director Hope Pregnancy Center of Brazos Valley

caring for this little one was beyond all you had imagined. We have all heard the quote in one form or another: “Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” This quote has been attributed to Benjamin Franklin, but similar thoughts from others through time can be found. It is good advice, yet sometimes difficult to follow with our busy and distracted lives. It can be hard to focus and prioritize what needs to be done next. When this happens, we are more like Scarlett O’Hara, the character from Gone With the Wind, who said, “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.” Yet this attitude can only compound the problem. What at first just seems like a single overwhelming day becomes an oppressive week, then a soul-crushing month and before too long your life feels like an out-of-control train wreck with no hope for the future. So what do you do? How can you move from paralyzing procrastination to a more fulfilling life? Elisabeth Elliot in her book God’s Guidance: A Slow and Certain Light, wrote, “Do the next right thing. It works in all kinds of situations and is especially helpful when we don’t know what to do. The doing of that next thing may open our eyes to the next.” Let us focus on two specific examples seen at Hope Pregnancy Center. The first is an unplanned pregnancy. Before going crazy, the first “next right thing to do” is to confirm your pregnancy. At Hope Pregnancy Center we provide confirmation of pregnancy, prenatal vitamins and important information needed to do the next right thing. This can include enrollment in parenting education classes to earn points for the purchasing of new baby equipment, clothes and diapers. Hope can assist a mom to use each day of her pregnancy to prepare for the birth of her child, thereby making the arrival a joyous event instead of a scramble to secure a car seat and endless frustration because the task of

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The second example of hurtful procrastination is the suppression of pain or guilt. We all have them – skeletons in our closets, secrets we don’t want anyone to know. For many women their secret is a past abortion. While each experience is unique, the progression is the same: a crisis pregnancy – a moral dilemma – an expedient solution (abortion) – transient relief – the moral dilemma resurfaces – pain is suppressed using a variety of coping mechanisms and avoidance. A woman can spend years in the last phase until she eventually is worn down and seeks help. Some of the symptoms associated with Post-Abortion Syndrome are guilt, anxiety, psychological “numbing,” depression, re-experiencing the events, infertility, pregnancy and bonding issues, self-abusive/self-destructive behaviors, anniversary reactions, etc. The next right thing to do in this situation is to admit that it is a problem and the next right thing to do is to seek help. Hope Pregnancy Center has expanded its post-abortion program by offering a new study called Surrendering the Secret (STS). It is a journey and begins the process of unraveling a hidden secret. While in a safe, secure, and confidential environment a woman has the opportunity to share, heal, and move forward. It can change the feelings of no hope in the future to ones of positive expectation for the days to come. Hope Pregnancy Center of the Brazos Valley is a faith-based, non-profit organization providing a safe and confidential refuge for those in crisis. Free services include: pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, one on one peer counseling, parenting and life skills classes and materials through our ‘earn while you learn’ program. Traditionally, Hope is known as a provider of services for women, but through the years has recognized the need and developed programs for men soon to be fathers. To find more information about Hope go to www.hopepregnancy.org or call 979-6959193.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers A bank robber wanted to keep his identity a secret, but he forgot to bring his mask. He told everyone in the bank not to look at him or he would shoot them. One foolhardy customer sneaked a look, and the bank robber did what he said he would... he shot him. The robber asked the crowd if anyone else had seen his face... One customer, gazing intently at the ground, said “I think my wife got a glimpse.”

Airman Jones was assigned to the induction center where he was to advise new recruits about their government benefits, especially their GI insurance. It wasn’t long before Captain Smith noticed that Airman Jones had almost a 100% record for insurance sales, which had never happened before. Rather than ask about this, the Captain stood in the back of the room and listened to Jones’s sales pitch. Jones explained the basics of the GI Insurance to the new recruits, and then said:”If you have GI Insurance and go into battle and are killed, the government has to pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have GI insurance, and you go into battle and get killed, the government has to pay only a maximum of $6000. “ “Now,” he concluded,” which bunch do you think they are going to send into battle first?”

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastivcally, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the husband replied, “in-laws.”

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Courtesy of TruthBooks.com

Stop Your Quacking It was a typical hectic wet spring Saturday and I was driving to a local department store in search of a baby shower gift for my daughter, she was having my first Grandchild. I told my husband I would only be gone a short while cause I kind of knew what I wanted to buy. As most rainy spring Saturday’s would have it, the traffic was heavy and everyone seemed to be in a mad hurry. As I was leaving BABIES ARE US, and scampered across the parking lot to my car, I noticed a large brown duck circling a sewer grid. As I approached the duck she came waddling up to me frantically quacking. As soon as she knew she had my attention, she turned and waddled back to the sewer grid. As I looked down into the sewer I counted eleven tiny yellow ducklings. I thought for a moment saying out loud that I was very late and very wet and there was nothing I could do. Besides, the sewer grid was much to heavy for me to move. Even out loud, no excuse sounded good enough, I knew I couldn’t leave. This was a mother duck and her ducklings were in trouble and she came to me for help. As I stood there helpless, other people approached to see why I was standing in a parking lot talking to a duck. She circled me relentlessly quacking. It was quite the spectacle. Just then a young man and his pregnant wife approached me and I began explaining the situation. Without coaxing, the young man took action. He carefully lifted off the grate and went in after the ducklings. One by one he lifted them to me. An employee from a nearby store came out with a box and we began filling the box with quackers. Seven ducklings

filled the box and the young man assumed his rescue feat was completed. As he returned the sewer grid and turned to me he saw the sadness in my face, I knew in my heart I had counted eleven ducks, four were still lost... By now a small crowd had gathered to watch the rescue. With seven ducklings in the box I set the box on the ground and moved away. The mother duck cautiously entered the box of quackers and quieted them down. A couple from the crowd volunteered to take the box to a nearby pond. When they tried to pick up the box the Mother duck flew from the box in noisy fright. Again, the employee from the near by store ran through the rain with a top for the box. As the Mother duck settled down the second time in the box of quackers I quickly placed the cover on top. Although, the Mother duck protested, the couple put the box in their car and set off for the pond. Everyone seemed happy, applauding everyone’s efforts and then left. But I couldn’t! There were four more baby ducks down there. I stood quietly listening and worrying... they were baby ducks! A half hour had passed as I stood the rainy vigil with no sounds from the sewer, except the gushing water. Two new people came by to ask me why I was standing near the sewer staring down. I explained what happened and that four ducklings were still missing. The woman and her daughter then lifted the grate and suddenly we heard the low quacks of the ducklings calling for their Mother over the gushing water. The man with his pregnant wife came to the rescue again, this time armed with

a flash light. He smiled at me and said, “Four more huh!” He disappeared again into the sewer drain and was gone for several minutes. The rain had picked up and the sewer was again being filled with water. The pregnant young woman began to openly worry about her husband being in the sewer and how wet he would be. Suddenly, his head popped out of the sewer drain followed by a huge smile. In his jacket were 4 ducklings quacking their heads off. We covered the sewer drain and got into our cars. He waited until we lined up to follow him in his truck to the nearby pond where the mother duck and the other ducklings had been released. With lights on high-beam and windshield wipers flapping, as though in a parade, we approached the pond. Standing near the water, the quacking of the four stragglers brought the mother duck and her brood to the shore line to be re-united. My heart was singing and everyone was smiling like we had all just won the million dollar lottery. I didn’t ask any of the rescuer’s names or what made them want to get involved with saving eleven tiny ducklings on a very wet busy Saturday in spring, I only know I felt as though the mother duck and God were counting on us. When I finally arrived home dripping wet my husband looked at me with some annoyance saying, “Where were you for so long.” I just smiled and said, “Someone quite small reminded me just how precious life is and the love that bonds mothers and their offspring, so just stop your quacking! I’m going to be a GRANDMOTHER!”

Family Favorites by Sharon Ann Laffere

The holidays are a perfect time for reflection. Each family celebrates unique traditions that create lasting memories. Shared activities like decorating the tree, caroling, and watching classic Christmas movies become the cherished reminiscences of our lives. At our home, Mom’s cooking and baking always made the holidays special. While sorting through boxes of Christmas memorabilia, I found two favorite family recipes to share with all of you. These were a guaranteed crowd pleaser at parties and gatherings. From our family to yours, Happy Holidays!

Season the chuck roast with salt and pepper. In a skillet, brown the roast on all sides. Peel the potatoes, carrots, and parsnips and cut into even pieces. Place the vegetables in the slow cooker with the roast on top. Add water and beef broth. Cook on low for 8 to 10 hours. Add a cup of spinach or kale during the final 30 minutes of cooking. This recipe is only a guideline. Once you master the basics, you can make the recipe your own. Choose your favorite vegetables and seasonings. Enjoy with family and friends!

If you have a great family recipe that you would like to share, please submit to Front Porch Magazine . 301 E Hwy 21 Caldwell, TX 77836

MOM’S MAGIC BARS 1/2 cup butter (or olive oil) 1 1/2 cups chocolate graham cracker crumbs * 1 cup flaked coconut 1 pkg. dark chocolate chips (12 oz.) ** 1 can sweetened condensed milk (14 oz.) 1 cup chopped nuts *** Melt butter. Combine the butter (or olive oil) with the graham cracker crumbs. Press the mixture into the bottom of a 13 X 9 baking dish. Top with layers of coconut, chocolate chips, sweetened condensed milk, and nuts. Bake at 350 degrees for 25 minutes. Cool before cutting into squares. This recipe can easily be adjusted to suit your tastes. * If you are not a fan of chocolate, try regular graham crackers and butterscotch chips or peanut butter chips. ** For a festive holiday flavor, try mint chocolate chips. *** Choose your favorite nuts. Walnuts, almonds, and pecans taste great in this recipe. SLOW COOKER ROAST & VEGGIES 1 chuck roast (approx. 3 lbs.) 3 red potatoes 3 carrots 3 parsnips 1 cup water 1 cup beef broth 1 cup spinach or kale salt and pepper to taste

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Are energy drinks appropriate for teens and pre-teens? by Dr. Kia Parsi In my office parents often ask me about the appropriateness of energy drinks such as Monster, Red Bull, and 5-Hour Energy for their children. Recent lawsuits claiming that teens have died due to consumption of these energy drinks have brought the safety of these drinks into the public spotlight. Some sources estimate that there are over 20,000 emergency room visits a year due to side effects from high energy drinks. One must remember these drinks are made for adults. Most energy drinks contain large amounts of caffeine, often more than double the amount of caffeine in an 8 ounce cup of coffee. Too much caffeine can lead to increased nervousness, irritability, difficulty sleeping, rapid heartbeat, and increased blood pressure. Although people often take these drinks to increase wakefulness, the alertness effects of the drinks are short lived. In fact, One recent research study found that regularly consuming energy drinks may make teens lazy, tired, and less healthy. The study found high-caffeine beverages linked to “a cluster of poor behaviors, such as increased amount of television watching, more time spent playing video games, poor sleep, consuming more sugar, fluctuating physical activity, and a greater risk of smoking cigarettes.” In addition to caffeine, many energy drinks contain large amounts of sugar. Beverages high in sugar can lead to weight gain. And, because these calories are ingested in a liquid form, an individual consuming these drinks will get hungry sooner, causing even higher caloric consumption in a day. Mixing energy drinks with alcohol may lead to further risky behavior. Since energy drinks may cause temporary alertness, they can mask the feeling of intoxication, leading to heavy drinking and risky behaviors. One must remember that because these drinks are “beverages” and not medications nor health supplements the FDA does not regulate them. Daily excessive caffeine

consumption can be habit forming, not just for adults but also especially for young, growing bodies. Although moderate consumption of caffeine can temporarily boost awareness, for our children there are many healthier ways to boost energy. It is important for children of all ages to get adequate sleep, eat a balanced diet, and include physical activity in their daily routine.

Dr. Kia Parsi graduated from Baylor College of Medicine and completed his family medicine residency in Phoenix, Arizona. He has been married for 24 years to his wife, Catherine. He has twins that are seniors in high school and an eight year old son. Dr. Parsi has been working in Burleson County for over 16 years as a Family Physician employed by St. Joseph. He is currently at the Caldwell HealthpointSt. Joseph Clinic working alongside Dr. Kristel Leuber and Kimberly Glidewell P.A.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers One day, there was this lawyer who had just bought a new car, and he was eager to show it off to his colleagues, when all of a sudden an eighteen wheeler came out of nowhere and took of the driver’s side door with him standing right there. “NOOO!” he screamed, because he knew that no matter how good a mechanic tried to fix it, it never would be the same. Finally, a cop came by, and the lawyer ran up to him yelling, “MY JAGUAR DOOR WAS JUST RUINED BY SOME FOOLISH DRIVER!!!” he exclaimed. “You’re a lawyer aren’t you?” asked the policeman. “Yes, I am, but what does this have to do with my car?!?!” the lawyer asked. “HA! You lawyers are always so materialistic. All you care about is your possessions. I bet you didn’t even notice that your left arm is missing did you?” the cop said. The lawyer looked down at his side and cried, “MY ROLEX!”

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.” “Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.” The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

Inside Every Older Person is a Younger Person Wondering What the Heck Happened!

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3DSD·V 3OXPS 3XQJHQW 3RVVXP Mama’s widowed daddy, Papa Jones, lived with us most of my childhood. He farmed, chopped wood, told hair raising ghost stories, and talked about the “good ole’ days.” One night, reminiscing about raising his family during the depression, he told how rabbits and squirrels provided their meat, along with an occasional ‘possum. He would fatten this dinner delicacy on corn bread for three weeks, then prepare it for a big Sunday meal. He got glassy eyed telling how the family gathered around and dined on a tasty fat ‘possum. Mama, too, had memories of those days and dinners; hers weren’t pleasant. She said, “I’ll starve to death before I take another bite of ‘possum. It’s greasy, stringy, and stinks worse than “chitins cooking in collards. Possums are cousins to buzzards. Better not anyone ever bring one of them scavengers in my house.” Unbeknownst to Mama, Papa caught a ‘possum and put it in a rabbit hutch. He began smuggling left over cornbread to the ‘possum pen. One day he said to me, “My ‘possum’s about ready to eat. The first time yore Ma goes off for a day I’ll show you what good eatin’ is.” In a few days Mama visited her sister in Atlanta. Papa and I were left alone for the day, the poor ‘possum’s last day. We prepared the animal. Papa said, “Take them guts and skin and bury ‘em in the woods. Thata’ way yore Ma won’t ever know about our ‘possum.” I don’t know when it became “our” possum, but it looked like I was now locked into this criminal caper. Papa began cooking the skinned dog look alike in Mama’s oven in a shallow pan. Every few minutes he’d take a spoon and dip up the grease that was cooking out of the ‘possum. He said, “Keeping the grease dipped off is the secret to fixin’ a good ‘possum.”

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by Neal Beard, a retired pastor living in Douglasville, Georgia. He writes history / humor about the rural northwest Georgia community where he grew up in the 40s and 50s.

Outside our dog, Jip, began yelping like Hitler, Mussolini, and Jack the Ripper had all stopped by. Pat and Kate, our mules, had gotten out and were sauntering around, exploring the yard. If the Olympics had a cussin’ event, Papa would have snagged the gold. He limbered up, charging after the mules, flinging red hot, double barreled expletives at them. He succeeded in chasing them into the woods. He cussed the mules, the pasture fence, the woods, bad luck, his hernia, and then he cussed cause he had some never deployed cuss words. Left over cuss words ricocheted off rocks and trees, and fluttered past me like spent bullets. After hours of mule chasing, Pat and Kate went back into the pasture across the downed fence where they had escaped. We repaired the fence and trudged home. Before we reached the house we were assaulted by a pungent burnt motor oil, leaky septic tank smell. Our forgotten dinner was now a charcoal ‘possum. His fragrance permeated the house. The stove needed crime scene tape around it. Papa needed cardiac care. Near time for Mama to come home Papa got an itch to go for a long walk. He said, “You explain to your Ma what happened to our ‘possum. Maybe she won’t get too mad at you.” Somehow I had acquired a share in the ‘possum and a share in the punishment. I met Mama at the car. She said, “Good grief, what’s that awful smell?” I made a full confession. I said, “Papa burnt his ‘possum in your oven.” In no more than a week Mama resumed speaking to him—on a limited basis. His craving cured, Papa never caught, kept, or cooked another ‘possum.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers Dad: Son I want you to marry a girl of my choice. Son: NO! Dad: The girl is Bill Gates daughter Son: then OK Dad goes to Bill Gates Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son Bill Gates: No Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank Bill Gates: Then OK Dad goes to the President of the World Bank Dad: Appoint my son the CEO of the World Bank President: No Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates President: Then OK THIS IS BUSINESS

The Four Stags of Life You believe in Santa Claus. You don’t believe in Santa Claus. You become Santa Claus. You look like Santa Claus.

An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, ‘They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive, I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.’

A police recruit was asked during the exam, ‘What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?’ He answered, ‘Call for backup.’

A Sabbath school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to ‘Honor thy father and thy mother,’ she asked, ‘Is there a commandment that teachers us how to treat our bothers and sisters?’ Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, ‘Thou shall not kill.’

An old farmer is inconsolable after his dog goes missing. He takes out an ad in the newspaper, but two weeks later, there’s still no sign of the mutt. “What did you write in the ad?” his wife asks. “ ‘Here, boy,’ ” he replies.

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It’s A God Thing by Polly Williams

Polly is a doctor’s daughter, pastor’s wife, mother of 3 sons, farmer’s wife and widow, completed her RN degree at the age of 40. Her deisre now is to submit inspirational stories of her life.

WHam! A sledge-hammer hit to the upper left jaw! That’s what it felt like!!! “What is going on, Lord?” Holding my jaw in my hand, hoping to ease the pain, I was dumbfounded at what just happened! The burning pain radiated to the upper left gums, to the 4th tooth and upper left side of the roof of my mouth! Stunned, I sat waiting for something to happen. Either for the pain to go away or another hit! Fortunately, the pain subsided over the day. Taking pain medication didn’t seem to help. A cold pack didn’t either. I was afraid to use anything warm. Over the next week I was never sure what would set the pain off again. Nothing like the first hit came but just pain in the same area. Brushing teeth, combing hair, walking from a cool room to a warm room, raising arms up to get a broom in the garage to sweep the floor, bending over to pull weeds, feeling a warm breeze – these all triggered the pain to hit, maybe for a few seconds to a few minutes. Finally, I checked with my local family doctor who suggested I see the dentist at the university where I have been going for many years. I checked in and nothing was discovered that would cause this type of pain. Finally, after several weeks, my family doctor suggested having an MRI. So, two months from the initial pain, an MRI was taken. Nothing was found for the jaw pain. BUT, there was a brain tumor, the size of a child’s golf ball, noted behind the right eye, lying next to the eye bone and brain tissue!!! It was entangled among many nerves leading from the spine to the brain as well as the main artery! “It’s been there a long time and is very slow growing. We’ll wait and see,” the team of doctors at the university’s suggested. So, the waiting began, and the wondering. Nothing more seemed to happen. The pain let up. Imagine my shock when receiving a phone call from the university suggesting I come in to discuss possible brain tumor surgery! Hubby and I listened to the team doctors ( two worldrenown chief surgeons from the departments of neuro and OTO, ears, nose, throat) who suggested surgery due to the fact that the wrapped nerves in the tumor would be affected, causing major problems for hearing, seeing, swallowing, muscle loss. SO, calling family and praying about it, surgery was set. Six to eight hour surgery went very well. Most of the tumor was taken out. What remained around the nerves was too dangerous to remove. Recovery went very well. As a retired RN, I was loving all the TLC (tender, loving care) I was getting and recuperated well and home in a week. Thus, began The God Thing! Actually I felt it all along the way. One thing (jaw pain) led to another (MRI) led to another (Tumor) surgery/ recovery and TLC!!! Imagine the wonderful surprise of neighbors, card club pals, church ladies, bringing in food the first week. I didn’t have to even think of cooking. Hubby and I were so encouraged and happy. I learned a great lesson during this time: It is equally more blessed to receive than

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to give! So many of us have thought it is more blessed to give than to receive. Being a type A personality, always thinking and doing, I had learned to be quiet and still from retirement. It had taken me 3 1/2 years to learn to settle down. Then recently a sprained ankle took 2 months to heal and help me be still and settled. What a joy it was to hear our friends exclaim how happy they were to be able to do something for us. How happy they were to come in and visit. How happy they were to feel needed. One gal said, “We aren’t going to know what you need if you don’t call us.” Things were going so well. No pain, no after effects except being tired more. I started thinking, ‘If I had a broken arm I’d feel like something big has happened. But this brain tumor and surgery is invisible; it is hard to remember I had something BIG done!” This thought kept coming and so I began to voice it to friends and family. I should have kept my big fat mouth SHUT!!!! A few weeks after surgery the team doctors suggested I have radiation treatment to destroy the remaining cancer cells! “Cancer?” We had never heard that term before! My hubby and I were stunned. But with the neuro doctor explaining the word cancer, on a scale from 1-10, 1 being minimal, my tumor was about a 1 1/2. Tumor and cancer are similar…a growth or something growing. Well, that settled us down. So radiation treatments was set up for 36 treatments. Monday through Friday for months of June and July. An hour drive to and from the university. 1 1/2 minutes of radiation treatment over a 20 minute set up, treatment and discharged for the day. Wow! God does have a sense of humor! I prayed and said, “Lord, you know how I love road trips, but isn’t this a little much?” My hubby having a niece near the university gave me a thought that I could stay with her for the week and then come home on the weekends. But son number 1 suggested I think about being there at the university for 1/2 hour but what would I do for 23 1/2 hours with the niece? So, we decided to drive an hour down, take a 1/2 hour treatment, and drive an hour home. When word got out to friends, family, club and church, we had 10 lady friends offering to drive! Wow! the road trips turned out to be such blessings for all! The fellowship, talking, getting to know each other better, eating out, even a little shopping! Who would have known? The only after effect from ALL I went through is that I experience dizziness. Now I compensate by focusing on a still object, eyes wide open, until the dizziness passes. At the library recently, in telling the head librarian my experience, she replied, “Well, you know, blondes are always rather dizzy!”

Asset Allocation: Keeping Your Balance by Kavon Novak

Kavon Novak is a registered Invesment Consultant and Branch Manager with LPL Financial. He holds Series 7, 24 and 63 licenses. Kavon has over 15 years of experience in the financial industry and is a member of the Financial Services Institute and the Burleson County Chamber of Commerce. He is a multi-year “Outstanding Client Service” award recipient and a Fightin’ Texas Aggie ’91. For more information please visit www.lpl.com/kavon.novak.

Maintaining a portfolio with a mix of stocks and bonds that suits your risk tolerance and time horizon, a practice known as asset allocation, has been a fundamental tenet of investing for a long time. Although asset allocation does not assure a profit or protect against loss in a declining market, investors who base their investment strategy on a target asset allocation may find it easier to stick with it when the stock market experiences significant ups and downs. One reason may be that the balance of stocks and bonds helps investors avoid significant losses. Stock and bonds historically have not moved in tandem in response to economic or market developments, although past performance does not guarantee future results.

Points to Consider

cally have exhibited more short-term ups and downs compared with bonds and other more conservative investments. 1Because of this historical trend, a larger allocation to stocks may be appropriate for those who plan to remain invested for a long term and who can tolerate short-term swings in value. Those who may need to access their money in the short term may want to consider a greater emphasis on more conservative investments with the goal of preserving principal. In addition, feelings about risk also come into play. Some individuals are uncomfortable with investment risk, which is the possibility that the value of their portfolio could decline. Historically, many investors with a low tolerance for investment risk have allocated a larger portion of their portfolios to bonds or cash investments. It’s important to remember, though, that these more conservative investments also carry some risk. Bonds are subject to market and interest rate risk if sold prior to maturity. Bond values will decline as interest rates rise and are subject to availability and change in price. Risk is part of investing, and it’s important to understand the potential upside and the potential downside of every investment. That said, a balanced portfolio, may help you stay focused, even when Wall Street seas are choppy. 1

Sources: Standard & Poor’s; Barclays Capital. Stocks are represented by the S&P 500, investment-grade bonds by the Barclays Capital Aggregate Bond Index. Past performance does not guarantee future results.

When deciding on a target asset allocation, it may be helpful to consider your risk tolerance and time horizon. Stocks histori- © 2011 Mcgraw-Hill Financial Communications. All rights reserved.

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The Tatooed Stranger

He was kind of scary. He sat there on the sidewalk with his cardboard sign, his adorable dog and tattoos running up and down both arms and even on his neck. His sign proclaimed him to be “stuck and hungry” and to please help. I’m such a soft touch for anyone needing help. My husband both hates and loves this quality in me. I pulled the van over and in my rearview mirror contemplated this man, tattoos and all. He was youngish, maybe forty and he wore a stripped cap on his head. Anyone could see he was dirty and had a scraggly beard. But if you looked closer you could see that he had neatly tucked in the black T-shirt, and his things were in a small, tidy bundle. Nobody was stopping for him. I could see the other drivers take one look and immediately focus on something else — anything else. It was so hot out. I could see in the man’s very blue eyes how dejected and tired and worn out he felt. The sweat was tricking down his face. As I sat with the air- conditioning blowing, the Scripture suddenly popped into my head. “Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these, my brethren, so ye have done it unto me.” I reached down into my purse and extracted a $10 bill. My 12-year-old son, Nick, knew right away what I was doing. “Can I take it to him, Mom?” “Be careful, honey,” I warned and handed him the money. I watched in the mirror as he rushed over to the man, and with a shy smile, handed it to him. I saw the man, startled, stand and take the money, putting it into his back pocket. “Good,” I thought to myself, “now he will at least have a hot meal tonight.” I felt satisfied, proud of myself. I had made a sacrifice and now I could go on with my errands. When Nick got back into the car, he looked at me with sad, pleading eyes. “Mom, his dog looks so hot and the man is really nice.” I knew I had to do more. “Go back and tell him to stay there, that we will be back in 15 minutes,” I told Nick. He bounded out of the van and ran to tell

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the tattooed stranger. We then ran to the nearest store and bought our gifts carefully. “It can’t be too heavy,” I explained to the children. “He has to be able to carry it around with him.” We finally settled on our purchases. A bag of dog food, a flavored chew toy shaped like a bone, some doggie snacks, two bottles of water (one for him and one for the dog), a water dish and some people snacks for the man. We rushed back to the spot where we had left him and there he was, still waiting. And still nobody else had stopped for him. With hands shaking, I grabbed our bags and climbed out of the car, all 4 of my children following me, each carrying gifts. As we walked up to him, I had a fleeting moment of fear, hoping he wasn’t a serial killer. I looked into his eyes and saw something that startled me and made me ashamed of my judgment. I saw tears. He was fighting like a little boy to hold back his tears. How long had it been since someone showed this man kindness? I told him I hoped it wasn’t too heavy for him to carry and showed him what we had bought. He just stood there, like a child at Christmas, and I felt like my small contributions were so inadequate. When I took out the water dish, he snatched it out of my hands as if it were solid gold and told me he had had no way to give his dog water. He gingerly set it down, filled it with the bottled water we brought, and stood up to look directly into my eyes. His were so blue, so intense, and my own filled with tears as he said, “Ma’am, I don’t know what to say.” He then put both hands on his bandanna-clad head and just started to cry. This man, this “scary” man, was so gentle, so sweet, so humble. I smiled through my tears and said, “Don’t say anything.” Then I noticed the tattoo on his neck. It said, “Mama tried.” As we all piled into the van and drove away, he was on his knees, arms around his dog, kissing his nose and smiling. I waved cheerfully and then finally broke down in tears. I have so much. My worries seem so trivial and petty now. I have a home, a loving husband and four beautiful children. I have a bed. I wondered where he would sleep tonight. My stepdaughter Brandie turned to me and said in the sweetest little-girl voice, “I feel so good.” Although it seemed as if we had helped him, the man with the tattoos gave us a gift that I will never forget. He taught that no matter what the outside looks like, inside each of us is a human being deserving of kindness, of compassion, of acceptance. He opened his heart. Tonight and every night I will pray for the gentle man with the tattoos and his dog. And I will hope that God will send more people like him into my life to remind me what’s really important. If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 1 John 3:17

A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would often sit together and admire the great works of art... When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son. About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands. He said, ‘Sir, you don’t know me, but I am the soldier for whom your son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly. He often talked about you, and your love for art.’ The young man held out his package. ‘I know this isn’t much. I’m not really a great artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.’ The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young man and offered to pay him for the picture. ‘Oh, no sir, I could never repay what your son did for me. It’s a gift.’ The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he showed them any of the other great works he had collected. The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of his paintings. Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their collection.

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On the platform sat the painting of the son. The auctioneer pounded his gavel. ‘We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who will bid for this picture?’ There was silence... Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, ‘We want to see the famous paintings. Skip this one.’ But the auctioneer persisted. ‘Will somebody bid for this painting? Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?’ Another voice angrily said, ‘We didn’t come to see this painting. We came to see the Van Gogh’s, the Rembrandts. Get on with the Real bids!’ But still the auctioneer continued: ‘The son! The son! Who’ll take the son?’ Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the longtime gardener of the man and his son. ‘I’ll give $10 for the painting...’ Being a poor man, it was all he could afford. ‘We have $10, who will bid $20?’ ‘Give it to him for $10. Let’s see the masters.’ The crowd was becoming angry. They didn’t want the picture of the son. They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections. The auctioneer pounded the gavel. ‘Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!’ A man sitting on the second row shouted, ‘Now let’s get on with the collection!’ The auctioneer laid down his gavel. ‘I’m sorry, the auction is over.’ ‘But what about the paintings?’ ‘I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire estate, including the paintings. The man who took the son gets everything!’

Political Aphorisms If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates. ~Jay Leno~ The problem with political jokes is they get elected. ~Henry Cate , VII~ We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. ~Aesop~ If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn’t be any inducement to go to heaven. ~Will Rogers~ Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks. ~Doug Larson~ When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I’m beginning to believe it. ~Clarence Darrow~ Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you. ~Author unknown~ Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel. ~John Quinton~ Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other. ~Oscar Ameringer ~ I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them. ~Adlai Stevenson, campaign speech, 1952~ A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. ~ Tex Guinan ~

Too many times people go to a doctor’s visit ill prepared. Spending a little time in preparation can make for a more profitable visit, for you and the doctor. Think things through; make notes.

Talking to Your Doctor Help your doctor help you It’s very important to keep your doctor informed of all of the symptoms you are experiencing. You should also explain the ways in which your symptoms have an impact on your daily life. The more your doctor knows about you and the way you live every day, the better he or she will be able to design a treatment plan that works for you.

Make the most of your time with the doctor You will get more out of your time with your doctor if you arrive at your appointment with a list of things you want to share, as well as any questions you may want to ask. You can use the questions below to help organize your thoughts. Remember to bring a pen and paper to make notes at your appointment. You may also want to bring along a family member or friend so he or she can listen in and help you take notes.

Topics to discuss with your doctor When visiting your doctor, always be prepared to answer the following questions for a successful visit: Have you been able to maintain your everyday activities? Have you had any mishaps around the house such as fall ing down? Have there been any changes in symptoms such as: t -PTT PG CBMBODF t 4XBMMPXJOH EJÄ?DVMUJFT t 'BUJHVF t 5SFNPS t 4UJÄŒOFTT t .FNPSZ MPTT t 4MPXOFTT t $POTUJQBUJPO t 6SJOBSZ QSPCMFNT t 8BMLJOH EJÄ?DVMUJFT t -JHIUIFBEFEOFTT t 4MFFQJOH QSPCMFNT Have you been eating a regular, balanced diet? Have you been maintaining your usual weight? 'JOBMMZ SFNFNCFS UP LFFQ BOE CSJOH ZPVS 1BUJFOU %JBSZ containing your notes on your condition and medications you BSF UBLJOH ćJT XJMM GBDJMJUBUF CFUUFS BOE NPSF FÄ?DJFOU DPNNVnication.

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#FSHFS 4 "NFSJDBO +PVSOBM PG 0DDVQBUJPOBM ćFSBQZ &ČFDUJWFOFTT PG 0DDVQBUJPOBM ćFSBQZ *OUFSWFOUJPOT GPS 0MEFS "EVMUT -JWJOH 8JUI -PX 7JTJPO IUUQ BKPU BPUBQSFTT OFU DPOUFOU GVMM

The Elephants Knew In intelligence and adaptation the elephant is approached only by the horse and is surpassed only by man himself. The elephants' journey to pay respect, but how did they know? Lawrence Anthony, a legend in South Africa and author of 3 books including the bestseller, The Elephant Whisperer. He bravely rescued wildlife and rehabilitated elephants all over the globe from human atrocities, including the courageousrescue of Baghdad Zoo animals during US invasion in 2003. On March 7, 2012, Lawrence Anthony died. He is remembered and missed by his wife, 2 sons, 2 grandsons, and numerous elephants. Two days after his passing, the wild elephants showed up at his home led by two large matriarchs. Separate wild herds arrived in droves to say goodbye to their beloved 'man- friend'. A total of 31 elephants had patiently walked over 12 milesto get to his South African House.

Witnessing this spectacle, humans were obviously in awe not only because of the supreme intelligence and precise timing that these elephants sensed about Lawrence's passing, but also because of the profound memory and emotion the beloved animals evoked in such an organized way: Walking slowly, for days, making their way in a solemn one-by-one queue from their habitat to his house. Lawrence 's wife, Francoise, was especially touched, knowing that the elephants had not been to his house prior to that day for well over 3 years! But yet they knew where they were going. The elephants obviously wanted to pay their deep respects, honoring their friend who'd saved their lives - so much respect that they stayed for 2 days 2 nights without eating anything. Then one morning, they left, making their long journey back home.

Symptoms & Solutions for High Blood Pressure

Suzy Cohen, RPh www.DearPharmacist.com People call me “America’s Most Trusted Pharmacist®” because I’ve been a licensed pharmacist for over 22 years and I am able to share the pros and cons of medication use as well as offer natural substitutions for most any of your health concerns. While I pride myself in ‘thinking outside the pill’ let me just say that I am still very proud to wear my white coat because I realize that there is a time and place for medications. We need to consider all of our options, and often, a combination is best. I’ve spent the the last 13 years writing a syndicated column called “Dear Pharmacist” which focus on health and explores the use of natural supplements, as well as the safe use of medications if you are taking them. This has been printed in many newspapers nationwide.

Dear Pharmacist, Are there any natural remedies I can take for high blood pressure? I do take medicine but I want to get off because it make me cough. Can you help? ANSWER: Promise to remain supervised by your physician before going off your medicine, some have to be weaned, you can’t suddenly stop. High blood pressure is one of those things I consider a symptom rather than a disease itself. It is “silent” meaning

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there are few obvious signs that you have it until a big event, for example a heart attack. As blood pressure rises, you may get headaches in the back of the head which may feel worse in the morning upon arising. You may also experience dizziness, blurred vision, ringing in the ears, fatigue, nosebleeds or the urge to urinate at night. So what are your options? Losing weight by exercising will help. A better diet is a must. Because hypertension is a risk factor for heart attack and stroke, physicians take quick action and prescribe medications to lower blood pressure: ACE Inhibitors-These medications block your ACE enzyme. Natural foods and supplements that do the same thing in a gentler way include garlic, seaweed, pyconogenol, omega 3 fatty acids, egg yolks, zinc and hawthorn berries. Calcium Channel Blockers-Verapamil, amlodipine and nifedipine. Medications in this category cause relaxation of the blood vessels. Natural options are omega 3 fatty acids, calcium, magnesium, vitamin E, vitamin C, hawthorn berries, NAC and lipoic acid. You should also eat celery. Diuretics-Blockbusters are furosemide and hydrochlorothiazide, these medications cause you to urinate more which reduces the amount of fluid in your blood vessels. When you reduce the squeeze in those tiny cramped vessels, pressure goes down. Natural, gentle “water pills” include vitamin C, potassium, vitamin B6, hawthorn berry, taurine and CoQ10. Celery too! Certain foods and supplements are direct vasocilators, meaning they open up the blood vessels, thus relieving some pressure. These include taurine, potassium, omega 3 fatty acids, and you guessed it, celery! Even 4 stalks a week could help, more if you like it, juice dip it in hummus or sunflower butter, and if you just can’t eat it, then consider supplements of “celery seed” extract. Compounds in celery like “3-n-butylphthalide” are know to reduce blood pressure. In China, this compound (extracted from celery seed) is sold as a drug to reduce beta amylase-induced neuronal apoptosis, which confers protection for people with troke, dementia and traumatic brain injury. The final piece of the anti-hypertensive puzzle is the beautiful beet. Solid research shows that beets, and beetroot juice can help with blood pressure and cholesterol. Drink about a cup a day. I juice a beet quite often myself. Consider massage to control cortisol, and yoga, it’s another fun, non-pharmacologiccal way to reduce blood pressure and stress hormones.

Mark Twain Quotes

Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. Ronald Reagan

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Talking Tom or Talking Angela Scare… Is having their apps safe for my child?

A mother recounts an experience with her child staying home from school that may have kept her safe. On the day her daughter stayed home, she was on her iPod playing a game called Talking Angela which is similar to Taking Tom. As the mother was sitting near by, her child got on her Ipod and an interactive cat spoke to her and asked about her brother’s location. She said he was at home. The cat then asked her what she did for fun. Her daughter said, “I don’t know.” The mother quietly listened because of the weirdness of the cat knowing she has a brother, and its talking like a person. Then in a changed voice the cat asked her by name what she did on dates. Her daughter turned red and said nothing. But the cat persisted and asked her to stick out her tongue with him. And he asked her, “What are some things you can do with your tongue? The mother had had enough. She shut off the iPod and called the police department. They went to her house and told her they’d have the internet investigations and pedophile unit look into it. An hour later they called and said that something or someone is behind the cat. They didn’t know if it was local or overseas. Later, the mother found out that her daughter and niece had been on the Angela app the Saturday before and had told her their names, brother’s name and what schools they both went to. All his is under investigation right now. If you will google the Angela app, you will find creepy stuff. Go there for yourself. The police say take this app off. These things aren’t supposed to know the names and addresses and schools of children. You will want to take this app off your phone for your child’s sake. There’s a big chance this could be a door for pedophiles. Whoever these people are, they are using a child’s app to get information. On Saturday night they got the information from the two innocent girls, and on Monday, they were able to call them by name and ask about siblings.

What is really scary is that these newer devices have webcams with voice recognition with these apps. They can mimic as they intended. So, what is to stop hackers from getting in the code and chatting real-time? We know hackers can hack email, chat and IM programs, so why not hack an animal and video chat with your child? As parents, we must stay vigilant.

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Information taken from a blog on Computer Help and website of Mix 97-3

Dangerous Apps Your Kids Should Stay Away From: Yik Yak-one of the newest and most dangerous apps. A user posts text-only Yaks. The message can be viewed by the 500 Yakkers who are closest to the person who wrote the Yak, determined by GPS tracking. Viewers are exposed to sexually explicit content, abusive language, and personal attacks. SnapChat- This allows users to send pictures that disappear after 10 seconds. So someone may think all is safe to send any kind of picture that will disappear on both sender and recipient’s phones. However, the recipient can take a screen shot of the photo and have it to share with others. Poof- This app allows users to make apps disappear on their phone with one touch. Kids can hide every app they don’t want seen on their phone. The good news is that this app is not longer available. But, if it was downloaded before it was deleted from the app store, your child may still have it. Be aware that there are apps constantly being created and terminated. So, stay vigilant. Whisper- This is a meeting app that encourages users to post secrets. You post anonymously, but it displays the area you are posting from. You can search for users posting within a mile from you. A quick look at the app and you can see that online relationships are forming constantly on this app. But you never know the person behind the computer or phone. One man in Washington was convicted of raping a 12 year old girl he met on this app just last year.

Chuckles, Giggles & Snickers A judge asks a defendant to please stand. "You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw." From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You’re lying.� "Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel." "You tightwad!" blurts the spectator. "Quiet!" yelled the judge. "You are also charged with killing a mailman with an electric drill." "Your cheapskate" the spectator starts to shout. The judge thunders back, " I will hold you in contempt! What is the reason for your outbursts?" "I've lived next to that liar for 10 years now, but do you think he ever had a tool when I needed to borrow one?"

There are five cows on a farm, one mamma cow and four baby calves. The first baby walks up to the mom and asks, "Momma, why is my name Rose?" The mommy cow replies, "Well honey, a rose petal fell on your head when you were born." The next calf comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Lily?" The mother replies, "Because honey, a lily petal fell on your head when you were born." The third baby comes up and asks, "Momma, why is my name Daisy?" The momma cow again replieds" Well, when you were born a daisy petal fell on your head." The final baby walks over and says, "Duh huh guh nuh!" The momma cow says, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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The Past It was a small church with little money but a big vision. The year was 1885 and money was scarce but faith and vision were deep in the hearts of most of the members—not all—but most. The 20 acres next to the church was available for purchase. With no money in the bank, the Deacons voted and encouraged the 90 members to buy the land for the future. “We cannot let this opportunity go by; the land may never be available again and we believe that God has great things in store for our church. We must be ready for it. “ And he quoted Jesus, “I must be about my Father’s business” and then Shakespeare, “There are tides in the affairs of men, which taken at its flood, lead on to victory.” The vote carried—not unanimous—but it carried and the land was purchased “for the future”. Fast forward over a hundred years later. We had gathered in the Regional Arena for the “All Church Gathering” for their STEWARDSHIP ENRICHMENT capital campaign to raise funds for an “all purpose” building with a gym. Over 1500 excited members—the largest attendance ever for a Church service—waited in anticipation of what God had in store. What a day it promised to be. Those of us on the program were seated in a row of chairs at the back of a very high platform-- 10 feet above the floor of the arena. Just behind us was huge curtain—a very heavy drape—that hung from ceiling to the floor and from one side of the platform to the other. The music was heavenly; the preacher’s comments reminded us of the vision to build a Family Life Center to better reach young families and to give the young people of the community a good place to gather and play and learn about Jesus. The program called for him to introduce three testimonies. The first was about God’s faithfulness to the church for over 100 years; the second was about God’s blessings in the present; and the third was about God’s promised blessings in the future. As the Pastor prepared to introduce the old gentleman who would share a testimony about God’s faithfulness in the past, I looked two chairs over from me and saw the old man nervously rocking back and forth. Just as the Pastor said, “It gives me great pleasure to introduce my dear friend to share about our PAST…” the old man rocked too far back and fell off the stage into the drape behind us. We all held our collective breath—horrified that a 90 year old man had just fallen 10 feet to the concrete floor. The congregation sat in stunned silence; we on the platform

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jumped to our feet to see if we could help. Surely he had been hurt and probably very badly. Then even before the drape stopped moving, the old man walked up the stairs at one end of the platform; walked to the mic; and said, “Well, we almost lost our past.” The sigh of relief grew into laughter and applause. He said, “God used the heavy drape to gently cradle me to the floor. Kind of like Jesus has wrapped his arms around me and protected me ever since I first placed myself in his care. He began his testimony. “I am over 90. My friends are giving me a hard time about how passionate I am about building this Family Life Center—this gym. They say, ‘You’ll never use this building. What are you going to do, play basketball with those kids? Save your money for your older years. Don’t waste it on some ‘playpen for pampered kids’ I listen to them and feel a sadness--for them. I am being a part of fulfilling God’s vision to reach those kids. I wish that they could catch the vision also. Can’t use the gym? Hey, I walk every day in the mall—I will walk here and when I can’t walk I will sit there and watch others walk and play. Can’t play basketball? No, but I can cheer for the players from the stands. Save my money for my older years? These are my older years! I may not even live to see it built but in Heaven I will know that it is being used for God’s glory. Playpen for pampered kids? No, a thousand times no! Jesus was talking about the children and youth of our community when He said, “Bring the little children to me—do not stop them—encourage them to come—for they are what the Kingdom of God is all about.” But most of all—this is my way of paying back and saying thanks to those 90 people who over a 100 years ago stepped out in faith—seized the moment—and bought that land where our church has continued to build on and on which they built a ball field where, under the influence of Godly men after a softball game I accepted Jesus as my Savior when I was a 12 year old boy. I did not do anything to build that ball field but someday in Heaven I will meet “good and faithful stewards and thank them personally for making the sacrifice for me. Can’t use the gym—maybe not. Can’t play basketball—no. Save my money for something more important—I tell them there is nothing more important than reaching those children. I am seizing this moment just as those saints did over a hundred years ago. I am glad that we didn’t lose our PAST but it would be far more tragic if we lost our FUTURE. Seize this moment in time with me now; prayerfully consider what God wants to do through you. Who knows how many will come up to you in Heaven some day and say THANKS. God bless you and you have to admit that I made quite an entrance! Del Rogers, Sr., founder and CEO of the Rogers Company is a recvognized authority on successful fund raising for churches, ministries and personal stewardship growth for individual christians.

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