When your health is in question, you shouldn’t have to guess the answer
When illness or injury occurs, you have a nurse on call anytime — 336-718-7070 We’re here when the unexected happens, day or night. Our free Care Now service connects you with a nurse over the phone who will evaluate your medical needs and advise the best course of action. Primary care doctor
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If you need treatment, your nurse will then direct you to the primary care doctor, urgent care center or emergency room that’s right for you. We can even preregister you so that you’re treated faster once you arrive.
Here’s an app for that. Download the Novant Health app and access Care Now along with ER wait times, urgent care and physician clinic locations and more. Available for iPhone and Droid. WWW.FAMCULTURE.COM 11/13 • 14662
THE BACKSTAGE VIEW Thanks for picking up the Summer 2014 edition of Family Culture!
I have the
pleasure of introducing you to our first print edition! With this magazine, we will
explore the many facets of family life. We
will spend time with the Scoggin Family as our Featured Family. They hold a special place in my heart because they
reveal how to open your heart to love the unloved. They demonstrate Christ’s love
with their actions. We also want to high-
light trials and tribulations that families can face, with the Holt Family; their story is moving and informative!
As summer is upon us, we want to present you with words of en-
couragement, fun activities to do as a family, and great ways to maximize your fun in the sun. It has been a crazy and exciting few months. Life
is all about changes and family is definitely one of those ever changing
parts of life. I have few words that can describe how grateful and blessed I am to have the opportunity to present this content to you!
Summer also holds a few special days for me! My birthday falls in June, tons of concerts, and Father’s day! Summer is a time for vacation, letting your hair down, and taking a road trip (Check out our Affordable Day Trips article on Page 7). Father’s Day is very special because a few
years ago, I had no idea if my dad would still be here today. We have
always had our ups and downs but he is still my father and I am still his son and I love him, Happy Father’s Day, Dad!
I hope you enjoy the Summer Edition as much as I enjoyed
putting it all together!
Robert Battle Editor,
Family Culture Magazine
Publisher Left Lane Productions, LLC. 14 W. Main St., Ste. 200 Thomasville, NC 27360 (336) 858-3834 Editor Robert Battle editor@famculture.com President Jessica Smith jessica@famculture.com Design Ashlin Horne Kristin Hane Sales Stephen Tysinger Stephen@famculture.com Brett Thompson Brett@famculture.com Christy Jones Christy@famculture.com Contributing Writers Jordan Ledwell Brittany Gobble & Holt Family Chrissy Scoggin Robert Battle Jessica Smith Ashlin Horne Samantha Gray Abbie Miller Contributing Photographers Kyle Duncan David Yemm Family Culture reserves the right to deny any advertisement or listing that does not meet Family Culture standards. Submissions are welcome, but unsolicited materials are not guaranteed to be returned. Family Culture assumes no responsibility for information, products, services or statements made by advertisers or editorial contributors. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from the publisher is prohibited.
SUMMER 2014
2
FEATURED FAMILY
FEATURED FAMILY:
ADOPTION BY: CHRISSY SCOGGIN
So many children in our local community and around the world are left alone without homes, opportunities, or families. Here is a story of a family that is making a difference right here in the Triad.
My husband Ben and I always knew we wanted
that doorstep”. It’s so true.
about this child nervous to walk through our
online, and then lock the thought away as we
you sign up to be the one who gets the call
in what he had experienced. But greater than
to adopt. We would think of it, do some research carried on with the business of our lives. But a few years ago we decided we couldn’t ignore our heart for adoption any longer. We were
driven by our faith and we wanted to take a step forward, but we had no idea where to start. We went to talk to a family who had adopted and
found out that they adopted through foster care. They told us about their journey and the truth
about the joys and hardships of foster parenting. We left that night with the name and number
of who to call to sign up for foster parent class.
This path made sense to us with where we were in life.
We called and we signed up to be-
come foster parents through Davidson County
DSS. We went to class one night a week for 10 weeks. Every single week, as people dropped out all around us, our hearts were broken for these children and we knew that God was
calling us to help them in some way. We went through role plays that made us think from a
child’s perspective and how it would feel to be
removed from your home. We learned how loss after loss begins to affect a child’s behavior.
We learned ways to help them transition. We
learned how to communicate with birth parents. We learned that many times children come into
care with the clothes on their backs and nothing else. We were made aware of things we had no idea happened in our own backyard. We
learned that there are communities of families hiding in the shadows of our county. We don’t
see them because they don’t typically frequent places like Walmart and Applebee’s.
We also learned that our county has
the biggest substance abuse problem out of
all surrounding counties. And when you’re on
drugs, you can easily fail to remember that you just threw your kid down the stairs or left your
six year old to take care of your one year old at home for 3 days. We knew there were a lot of families and children needing help and hope. A friend of ours and fellow foster parent once
said, “Any of us would take in a kid that was left on our doorstep. Foster care is signing up to be WWW.FAMCULTURE.COM
When you become a foster parent
when there is a child with no family willing to, or capable of caring for them. We have seen
agencies call other agencies because they had no one to care for a baby needing a home. We have gotten a call from DSS saying “Can you
take this child? There is no one else.” We have
seen the need. DSS only has about 30 licensed foster homes in Davidson County. When these
homes are full they have to send kids out to surrounding counties. So on top of moving homes they have to leave schools, day cares, friends, and everything familiar to them. If there aren’t
families willing to take sibling groups then they
are split apart. Many older kids (ages 9 and up) will age out of the system without ever being
adopted. Don’t guard your heart from that. Think about it. Imagine it.
I was taught that pity is a passing
thought, but compassion leads you to act.
These kids don’t need people to pity them, they
need people to have compassion for them. They had no say in the circumstances they were born into. They are just kids. It’s one thing to know
all of this, but it gets really real when you hold
a giggling child in your arms knowing that they
have suffered more in 2 years than you have in 27. It gets really real when you hear “thank you
mommy!” for giving them a bandaid. And it gets really real when you see eyes of despair turn
into big, bright and beautiful eyes of hope. Ben
and I have seen it first hand. We have had several kids in and out of our home ages 2 months to 12 years old.
We adopted our son when he was
three. We are in the process of adopting our daughter who has been with us over a year. One of my favorite quotes is this by Jody
Landers: “A child born to another woman calls
me mommy. The magnitude of that tragedy and
doorway. There was heartbreak and disbelief
that there was now a hope and a future for this
child. He began to blossom, he became expressive, and he finally made it onto a growth chart! People tell us all the time that what we are do-
ing is great, but that they could never be foster parents because they would get too attached. It’s a legitimate concern. That’s why I say that foster parents are some of the most selfless
people I know. They give time and energy, they
invest emotionally, they expect nothing in return. They do it because whether you have a child
one day, one year, or the rest of their life, you
have an opportunity to give hope, to show love, and to plant a seed in their life. You have an
opportunity to invest in them and to attach when
nobody else will. They do it for the sake of these kids. They are more worried about the fate of
these children than the grieving that will come if they leave.
We never imagined that becoming
foster parents would lead us to our precious son and daughter who taught us that we could love more than we ever thought possible. But Ben
and I know that there are many kids out there
just like them who still need homes. We are part of a ministry for prospective foster and adoptive
families called iamJ3.If you are that person who keeps putting the thought of fostering or adopting aside, and now you’re ready to get started and you have some questions, we would love
for you to contact us. We can walk you through different routes of foster care and adoption
and give you names of agencies and who to
call to take your next step. We have foster and
adoptive family gatherings and we have a foster closet to benefit foster families and children in care.
the depth of that privilege are not lost on me.”
For more information or if you have questions,
excitement. And after we met our son who was
go to our website iamj3.org. You can also like us
Before we met our son, we were all nerves and also our first placement, our view of foster care completely changed. It went from being a story about us being foster parents, to being 100%
please email me at chrissy@iamj3.org. You can on Facebook if you’d like to know more about adoption, foster care and orphan care.
SUMMER 2014
4
TH of
4
JULY
LOCAL CULTURE
“We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on, we’re going to survive. Today we celebrate our independence day!” -Independence Day
July the 4th is not only the day we celebrate
They created a document that took two days
our independence but also a day that we celebrate
for everyone to agree with what the document would
our freedom! It’s a time for togetherness,
say and Thomas Jefferson wrote it down in the most
barbeques, community, and let’s not forget the
eloquent way he could. It was presented to the
fireworks!
Second Continental Congress on July the 4th and
thus a nation was born!
On July 2nd 1776 we declared our
independence from Great Britain. The British were
History is why we celebrate today! What
taxing the land and not letting them have a say in
better way to celebrate then FIREWORKS!! Around
the affairs of the country. Our forefathers were not
the Triad there are many places to celebrate this
happy with this arrangement, therefore on the 2nd
monumental holiday. This year the 4th is on a Friday
of July, Congress decided it would be in everyone’s
so most Americans will have a three day weekend!
best interest to declare independence from the King
of Britain.
EVENTS IN THE TRIAD
Greensboro >Fun Fourth Freedom Run and Walk- Run or walk in honor of our military personnel and veterans. Show off your American spirit with a patriotic costume. June 30th, 8:00 am. >Fun Fourth Block Party- Celebrate our independence with great food, cold beer, and dancing in the streets. July 3rd, 7:00 pm11:00pm. >Music in the Park-Join the Greensboro Concert Band in celebrating our nation’s birthday with music and fireworks. July 4th at 7:30pm. High Point >Uncle Sam Jam-An annual celebration which includes food, vendors, live musical performances, and a fantastic fireworks display. July 4th, 4:30pm-10pm.
Thomasville >HiToms Baseball Fireworks-Come out for the game at 7:00 pm and stay afterward for the fireworks extravaganza!
Winston-Salem >Independence Celebration at Historic Bethabara Park- Enjoy patriotic music, historical demonstrations, colonial children’s games, colonial re-enactors, and a book signing with Jim Little. Special performances by: Letters from Home, An Andrews Sisters Tribute Show, and the 208th Army Band. July 1st, 1:30pm-5:30pm >July 4th Red, White, and Blue Party- Join the Children’s Museum of Winston-Salem for arts and crafts, a Fourth of July parade, and popsicles. July 4th, 9:00am-11:30am. >Winston-Salem Dash Fireworks-Come out for the 7:00 pm game at the BB&T field and enjoy the fireworks show afterward.
Clemmons >Tanglewood Park 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular-Gates will open at 5:00 pm to allow for picnicking before the fireworks display, which will begin at approximately 9:30 pm. Admission is $5 per car and $10 per bus or motorcoach. In case of inclement weather
on July 4th, the fireworks may be rescheduled for July 5th at 9:30 pm. Lexington >Lexington’s Fantastic 4th of July FestivalFinch Park, 15 Paul Beck Road, Lexington Sponsored by the City of Lexington. Music, rides, inflatables and amusements for children and kids of all ages. A great FREE family event. 6:00 pm to 9:30 pm, fireworks will begin around 9:00. For more information call 336-248-3960. Kernersville >Kernersville 5K Race and Parade The 5k race starts at 8:30 AM with registration starting at 7:00-8:15 am. The race will start at Bank of North Carolina, 211 Broad St, Kernersville. The website for the race is signmeup.com. The cost is $20 and $25 after June 30th. Parade starts at Kernersville Elementary School after the last runner has finished the 5K race.
SUMMER 2014
6
LOCAL CULTURE
AFFORDABLE DAY TRIPS IN NORTH CAROLINA
In North Carolina, day trips are an easy way to get away, take a break and not damage the pocketbook! Breaking away from the normal routine is just what you need to keep the whole family happy. This summer, don’t fret about not going away on a big vacation! Check out these amazing spots right here in North Carolina!
BLUE RIDGE PARKWAY Driving through the parkway on a breezy summer day in the mountains will reset anyone’s mood. If you need a chance to get out of the car for a while, stop and have a picnic at one of the overlooks! Also, take time to go to the Folk Art Museum to admire the creations by the local artist. The center is located at Milepost 382 Blue Ridge Parkway. The parkway is around 2 hours from Greensboro so it’s a quick drive to enjoy the beauty and culture the mountains of North Carolina has to offer!
NORTH CAROLINA ZOO If you love animals and nature check out the North Carolina Zoo in Asheboro, NC. Asheboro is about 25 minutes from Greensboro and the North Carolina Zoo is one of the nation’s largest natural habitat zoos, so come prepared for a day in the great outdoors. Make sure you have great walking shoes and maybe an umbrella, just in case! The price of admission runs from $8-$18 depending on what you want to do during your visit.
TRAIN RIDE TO RALEIGH
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Wanting to be a little more adventurous? Try taking a train to RaleighThe trip from the Greensboro train station is around an hour-and-ahalf to the Raleigh Amtrak station and cost around $32 round trip per adult or $40 for an adult and one child. The North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences is just a 15 minute walk from the station and is absolutely FREE! You can spend the entire day at the museum or check out all of the culture Raleigh has to offer.
SUMMER 2014
8
WWW.FAMCULTURE.COM
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SUMMER 2014
10
REAL LIFE
THE BATTLE OF A.L.S.
“The Story of Rick Holt”
Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS)
have an A1C test drawn to rule out Diabetic
also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease is a horrific
Neuropathy because of diabetic family history.
and terrifying disease. ALS is not only horrible
On June 19, 2008 our parents, Rick and Yolanda,
for the person who is diagnosed, but also for the
had arrived for a standard spinal tap procedure;
family that witnesses its unstoppable effects.
however the doctor decided that the spinal tap
ALS is a rare neurodegenerative disease that
was no longer necessary after looking at Rick’s
attacks motor neurons, which causes the brain
lab work. The A1C test results indicated elevated
to lose control over all of the body’s voluntary
muscle enzymes. The doctor then diagnosed
muscles (i.e. any part of the body that an
Rick with ALS. This day completely changed our
individual chooses to move, such as extremities,
lives for the next 4 years.
diaphragm, etc.). Losing the ability to move
muscles voluntarily can affect the person’s ability
visit with a neurologist specializing in ALS. He
to handle money, move limbs, feed themselves,
was then fitted for a brace on his right foot to
scratch their head, or brush their teeth. Due to
keep his foot pulled up in an effort to limit his
the inability to move the muscles, gradually, they
stumbling. In August 2008, Daddy was on a truck
will begin to deteriorate throughout the entire
driving trip, when he began to have difficulty
body.
breathing, becoming very short of breath. Only
In the United States, there are over
In July 2008 our dad had his first
2 short months after his diagnosis, came the
5,600 reported individuals diagnosed with ALS.
realization that he would be unable to continue
Diagnosis typically occurs between 40 – 70 years
difficulty breathing, and difficulty swallowing.
working. Though, not the type to just sit around,
of age. The life expectancy of an individual after
Daddy began his own trucking business and
receiving the diagnosis is between 3-10+ years.
and devoted husband, father, brother, son, and
began dispatching trucks from our home. The
Half of all individuals diagnosed with ALS live 3
friend began struggling with weakness in his right
disease continued to progress and in October
or more years from when first diagnosed, 20%
foot. Our assumption was that he had a pinched
of 2008 he attended his first appointment at the
live 5 or more years, and 10% live 10 or more
nerve in his back due to having a ruptured disk
Charlotte ALS Clinic at Carolina Medical Center
years. Although many of the signs or symptoms
years prior. He would occasionally have problems
in Charlotte, North Carolina. Daddy was then
are the same, the disease itself can be very
with his toes on his right foot not wanting to
fitted for a new brace that helped prevent his
different for each individual diagnosed, i.e. initial
flex upward, or being numb when he walked;
knee from hyperextending. With the assistance
symptoms, how the individual’s body reacts, and
therefore he would find himself stumbling. Daddy
of the brace, he was able to walk a little more
the progression speed.
was a long distance truck driver. He hauled
confidently, albeit, occasionally using a cane or a
hazardous chemical tankers and he would have
walker.
that tends to go undetected, is gradual weakness
to climb on top of the tankers to complete part
in the hand, foot, arm, or leg. This tends to
of the unloading process. The climb proved
frame, Daddy had been prescribed a C-Pap
occur in more than half the cases of individuals
challenging for him and occasionally, he found
(Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) machine
diagnosed. Other first symptoms, though less
himself tripping on top of the tankers. The more
for night time use to assist his breathing while
common, include difficulty speaking, swallowing,
he found himself stumbling, the more concerned
lying down. He used this machine only when
or walking. Although these symptoms are less
we all were for his safety.
sleeping, and occasionally during the day when
likely to be initial symptoms, they will however
his energy was fully breathing began to worsen
show themselves later in the progression of the
parents, started attending multiple doctors’
throughout the day and a noninvasive ventilator
disease. Throughout the disease the individual
appointments with a neurologist in hopes the
was ordered for him to begin using. He was
will most likely experience twitching and/or
doctor would be able to relieve his “pinched
also in a wheelchair after going from walking, to
cramping throughout the muscles, the loss
nerve”. Our dad had been having multiple tests,
using a cane/walker, and then using a scooter in
of use of the individuals arms and legs, and
MRIs, X-Rays, and lab work as well as being
only 2 short years. He was getting progressively
difficulty speaking and projecting his/her voice.
scheduled for a spinal tap to verify or rule out
weaker, but this was only truly noticed in his
In the more advanced stages of the disease the
a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis. Additionally,
extremities thus far.
individual will experience shortness of breath,
our mom (Yolanda Holt) had requested that he
A very common first symptom of ALS,
WWW.FAMCULTURE.COM
In 2007, our father, Rick Holt, a loving
In the fall of 2007, our
By December 2008/January 2009 time
STORY BY: COURTNEY HOLT CARDWELL & BRITTANY HOLT GOBBLE
On Friday, February 4, 2011 we
He was to use this if he was too tired to eat or
received a call to notify us that Daddy had been
having trouble swallowing. In May 2012 Daddy
taken to the hospital due to falling out of his
and our family went to the ALS clinic and he
wheelchair and off of the front porch. He was
decided to speak with his respiratory therapist
bending over to pick up a UPS package and
alone. He had been having more and more
realized that he did not have the core strength to
difficulty breathing and he knew that it would
push himself back up to an upright position. His
not be too much longer. He did not want to
breathing was compromised the longer he was
worry our family so he had several “end of life”
fighting to push himself back up. He ended up
questions for his therapist that he did not want
falling face first, out of his wheelchair, onto the
us to hear.
front porch, down the front steps and onto the
sidewalk.
unable to breath, his Hospice nurse was notified
That day it was sleeting and raining
On June 15, 2012, Daddy woke up
and came straight over to our house to examine
and he had been lying on the sidewalk for an
him. The nurse suggested that he be taken to
hour before a neighbor found him. Daddy’s
the Kate B Reynolds Hospice House in Winston-
ability to project his voice had weakened;
Salem. Daddy was in good spirits throughout
therefore it was hard for anyone to hear him yell
the day, joking around and laughing with family.
for help. A neighbor just happened to see his
That afternoon, he had taken a nap and woke
wheelchair in the doorway and notice movement
up with shortness of breath again. The Hospice
in our yard and came to make sure everything
nurse started administering meds to keep him
was ok. We were very blessed that she found
comfortable. Daddy continued to have breathing
him and was able to call for help. By the time
issues and struggled to catch his breath. On
the paramedics arrived his core temperature
Father’s Day, June 17, 2012, Daddy was called
was 84 degrees. He was taken to the hospital
home to Heaven to be with our Heavenly Father.
where he spent the next 3 days.
of love, honor, and laughter. He was a devout
After Rick’s accident, the disease
Christian and loved the Lord with all his heart.
immediately began using his noninvasive
He used to tell us the best thing about being
ventilator 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Rick
diagnosed with ALS was that he was able to
began having more and more trouble breathing
study God’s Word as much as he wanted to! He
and needed to have his ventilator settings
learned and grew in the Lord those last 4 years
increased to force more air into his lungs to
and was an amazing testimony to himself as
allow him to breathe somewhat comfortably. He
well as everyone around him.
started having trouble swallowing and would
occasionally get choked on his food; he was
We felt powerless standing by watching as this
liquefied.
In February 2012, Daddy’s doctor at
ALS is a horrible disease to witness.
terrible disease took over our father. Still though,
he touched many lives. He was a very active individual. He tried very hard to not allow the
the ALS clinic suggested he have a PEG tube
disease to overtake him. Throughout everything,
(feeding tube) placed in his stomach as well
both of our parents were so strong and fought
as bringing in Hospice to assist as much as
with honor through everything. The best verse
possible. A Hospice Nursing Assistant began
that sums up Daddy’s life was:
coming to the house every day to feed him lunch as well assist with any other activity he needed help with. In March 2012, Daddy had
2 Timothy 4:7 NKJV
Our father lived a life that was full
seemed to progress more rapidly. He
not able to eat soups or foods that were more
“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”
Every year we host an annual
Spaghetti Benefit Dinner in memory of our Daddy. All the proceeds go
to the Catfish Hunter Chapter of the
ALS Association for research and
awareness in hopes of one day finding a cure. If you would like more
information or information on joining
our walk team for 2015 please contact us at TeamSparkyALS@gmail.com.
the procedure to have his PEG tube placed. SUMMER 2014
12
REAL LIFE
TIPS & HINTS
S T E P PA R E N T I N G No matter who you are, raising kids is hard work! Adding the fact that you are not their “biological” parent and bringing a different way of life to what the children have always known is harder! Blending a family can be rocky sometimes, but through persistence and patience a wonderful family can emerge that you can share your life with. 1. Spend time with the kids individually- Take time as the stepparent to spend time with the kids without your spouse. When you do this, you create a bond. This will help develop a trust with them to say you are no longer a stranger. Taking time to hang out and do the things they want to do will go a long way.
4. Do not stay angry or bitter at an ex spouse- I know this can be hard, in most cases you did not end things on a happy note. If you say disparaging things about another person in front of your kids, what kind of example are you setting? You can always use the old motto: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
2. Remember, you are still a parent-You will have to discipline your kids at some point. The key is having a plan set out with your spouse and even the other biological parent on what role you will play in discipline. Understand and know what you can do or what is effective for the children.
5. Start new family traditions- This can be a fun one! Inevitably, blended families can be a little tricky because you have to share holidays, birthdays, and other special events. This means you should sit down at the dinner table as family on a regular basis for dinner. Something as small as that can instill a sense of wholeness and togetherness.
3. Do not act like a replacement parent- You are not trying to replace what they already have but you are enhancing it! Know that you are another shoulder to lean on or scraped knee fixer. Being a step parent should be an honor to both you and the children. It will take time and patience, but the reward is 100% worth it!
WWW.FAMCULTURE.COM
T he N a I’ve learned a lot about life while potty training a toddler. Not my toddler, I’m a nanny. Well, technically, I’m a glorified babysitter. (If you can call chasing a naked toddler or making terrible pink dogs with playdough “glorified.” Which you totally can because both are hilarious.) I’ve been taking care of this same little boy for almost two years now, so I should have been expecting it. Nevertheless, imagine my shock and chagrin when I got this text one recent Sunday night from his mom: “Just FYI for tomorrow: He’s running around buttnaked. Potty training has begun.” I had brothers, so I knew the basics. I won’t go into the details of potty training for you because if you have kids, you already know. If you don’t have kids, I don’t want to ruin the wonderful surprises that await you. And if you don’t have kids and never plan to have kids… well then, congratulate yourself. You’ll make it through life unscathed by stray urine streams and Cheerios in the toilet. (I mean, unless you lead a very unconventional life…) I arrived Monday morning with extra clothes in hand, as well as double-brewed espresso; I knew I would need it. And as I went in to the experience, I expected to be the one doing the teaching. You know… “Aim here.” “Do NOT pee on the dog.” “If you just go already, I’ll give you some candy!” In actuality, the experience taught me a few things about life that I may never have realized in quite the same way had I not learned them while crouching over a toilet and cheering over the smallest bodily function.
y
nn
D ia ries BY: ABBIE MILLER
Progress is gradual. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will you be. It can be so tempting to try to constantly improve upon ourselves without realizing that after periods of new growth and learning, rest is necessary. Habits aren’t built overnight, they’re built one day at a time, in conscious, intentional repetition. Know that you can’t rush progress. (Similarly, you can’t rush a toddler who would like nothing better than to sit on the toilet and sing endless choruses of “The Parmer in the Dell.” Because “farmer” is too difficult to pronounce.) Patience is vital. With yourself and with others. We all mess up. We all make bad choices and selfish decisions sometimes. Patience in the middle of messes and inconveniences bring us closer to each other. Impatience alienates. I think kids teach us this more than anything else. Accidents are inevitable. As you move forward in life, no matter how much you’ve matured, how well you have it all put together, or how painstakingly you prepare and plan, accidents will happen. I’m piping up from the peanut gallery over here because I am the most accidentprone person I know. But in some ways, that gives me home court advantage because I’ve had to learn to just roll with it. So, you know, when the kid pees crouching behind the sofa, I’ll be able to just shrug, clean it up, and move on… right? Joy is invaluable. We giggled over some funny noise I made while we washed his hands at the sink, and his super adorable laughter reminded me of the most important thing I can take through my day today: joy. Joy in the simple things, joy in the quirky, unexpected things, and joy in the difficult things. Because those difficult things, like potty training, sleep deprivation, a stressful meeting, a troubled kid… they help shape, pound and mold us into better people. Joy is gold. And gold is forged in the fire.
SUMMER 2014
14
PET LIFE
DOG FRIENDLY PARKS
Exercise is the key to your pet’s health. Finding a local park that is pet friendly is not only helpful to your animal but can also get you moving too! Some local parks specifically cater to your animals and the needs they have for healthy living. Plus, all of these options are FREE and FUN! 1. Bark Park at Country Park- Located at 3905 Nathaniel Greene Drive in Greensboro, this park is an off leash park and is split up into several different areas, depending on the size and temperment of your animals. Find out more info at http://www.gsobarkpark.org/ 2. Dog Park at Washington Park- Located at 1490 Broad Street in Winston Salem. This park has two separate areas for big dogs and small dogs (under 25 pounds).  There is a sand pit and a water station for the animals to enjoy. The greenway is really nice and goes along another 4 - 5 miles through part of the city all the way to Salem Lake.
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3. Kernersville Dog Park at Fourth of July Park- Located at 702 W. Mountain Street in Kernersville. This dog park area is fenced and shaded with a water station as well. It also has two separate areas for bigger and smaller dogs! If you are in the area check out what this park has to offer! 4. Dog Park at Southwest Recreation Center and Park- Located at 6309 Southwest Park Drive, just outside of Greensboro. This park offers a 2 1/2 acre area with separate sections to accommodate both large and small dogs. They even have fresh water and treats available for your four-legged patrons. Check out http://southwest.guilfordparks.com/ for more information!
Dog Food Recipe Is your dog getting bored with the same old food day after day? Here is a healthy, inexpensive alternative to feed your dog that you can make right in your own kitchen! All of the ingredients can be found in the frozen food section of your local grocery store. This basic dog food recipe includes liver for protein and vegetables for added vitamins and minerals.
INGREDIENTS 1 bag of frozen peas
1 bag of frozen carrots
DIRECTIONS
>> The contents should be presliced in the frozen food bags. If not, chop up the food accordingly.
1 bag of frozen livers
>> Place the contents on a tray, equally distributing the items, sprinkling the rosemary on top.
1 bag of frozen corn
>> Preheat the oven to 200 degrees.
1 teaspoon of Rosemary
>> Place the tray in the oven, the entire dehydration process will take around 8 hours
Once finished, you will have enough food for a medium sized dog to last about 2 weeks. If you have a bigger dog you can add the food you have prepared to their regular dog food to give a litle more variety to their otherwise boring meal. You can stretch a month out of this portion as an additive, based on two bowls a day. Your dog will appreciate the tasty treat and you’ll love the extra money you can save! SUMMER 2014 16
WHOLE HEALTH
RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT PICNIC Planning a picnic outing can be quick and easy! Follow these steps to having the best family picnic experience! tKeep a “picnic” box. Load it with plates, utensils, napkins, a spare bottle opener, and a blanket. Use nondisposable items over disposable ones when possible. If you are worried about breaking your favorite plates or losing special cutlery, buy cheap used ones from thrift stores that can provide an eclectic, old-world atmosphere to your picnic. Purchase cake covers. This will keep food safe from insects. These fold up neatly and are a great addition to a picnic set. Be sure to prepare the food as late as possible, so that everything is fresh and delicious. If you’re preparing things like macaroni or potato salad, make sure you keep them refrigerated so they don’t spoil. Avoid the disposable cups if you can. Tea, coffee, juice and soft drinks all taste better in glass or metal containers, but also be aware of park regulations regarding glass containers. As far as recipes go, a standard picnic wouldn’t be complete without sandwiches! •2 loaf(s) (about 18 inches each) ficelle (thin baguette) •1/4 cup(s) butter, softened •2 tablespoon(s) Dijon mustard •1/8 teaspoon(s) coarse black pepper •3/4 pound(s) Virginia ham, sliced •3 large avocados, peeled and sliced •sea salt Directions Cut each ficelle loaf into 3 equal pieces, and split each horizontally along one side, leaving the other side intact. Open the pieces so they lie flat. Stir the butter, mustard, and pepper together until smooth, and spread on both sides of the bread. Layer with the ham and avocado, and sprinkle with the sea salt. Wrap the sandwiches with parchment, and tie with a string to secure. Keep chilled and serve within 3 hours. WWW.FAMCULTURE.COM
HEALTH & EDUCATION FOR
DIABETES Every 20 seconds someone in the United States in diagnosed with diabetes; as of 2011, 8.3% of Americans (25.8 million) with 7 million undiagnosed; 79 million have prediabetes. Diabetes is rampant! In Davidson County alone, 1 out of 10 people have diabetes; if we continue on this path, by the year 2020, two thirds of the population will have Type 2 diabetes! How did this happen? Conveniences such as fast food, banks, and even grocery stores contribute to our ‘on the go’ attitude and offer unhealthy choices. Childhood and adult obesity is a large risk factor in developing diabetes as well as other health problems. Children as young as nine years old are being diagnosed with T2 diabetes. We live in the south where fried chicken and sweet tea are possibly a weekly or daily ingestion. Unhealthy lifestyles are the major factor (along with genetics). Novant Health Thomasville Medical Center is working hard to provide health and education to Davidson County that suffers from diabetes! The majority of these programs are not covered by insurance, so Novant depends on donations and community support to extend these services at no cost or very minimal cost to the patients.Here are a few offerings: •Diabetes classes – The class starts with an initial assessment. Then a four hour basic class, teaching you how to combat diabetes on a daily basis. Medical Nutrition Therapy follows. It is a therapeutic approach to treating medical conditions and their associated symptoms by specifically tailoring a diet devised and monitored by a registered dietitian. The diet is based upon the patient’s medical history, physical examination, functional examination and dietary history. Follow up classes include a gestational diabetes class. This is a form of diabetes that can develop about halfway through a pregnancy. It comes about when a mother’s body becomes insulin resistant. These classes go a very long way in fighting against the ignorance that can do the most harm when it comes to diabetes. •Multiple Community Events- Held in Senior Centers, Church groups and YMCA programs to discuss wellness and prevention. These events are for the people who feel like they are thrown to the wolves after the classes are over. The YMCA offers weight loss and wellness; teaching the nutritional segment once a month and participating in the class as a whole. •Organized Support Groups- After class continuing education and prevention. These groups come together every other month and discuss topics surrounding diabetes and working through this disease. A complete schedule of the group can be found at Novant’s website. •Girls on the Run- This is youth program for young girls, grade 3-5. It builds self-esteem while getting rid of social stereotypes. It started March 10th at Archdale Elementary School and on May 18th a 5k was held at Creekside Park in Archdale. Novant Health is working to create their own programs that will deal strictly with Davidson County and their residents. There is potential for this type of program to be created for adults as well. Right now, there is no cure. Hopefully, one day there will be a way for diabetes to be a thing of the past. For now, Novant is trying to provide prevention and education, and in doing so, are providing excellent patient care.
SUMMER 2014
18
PRESENTED BY
Left Lane Productions
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SUMMER 2014 20
FAITH
SCRIPTURES FOR Money Management BY: SAMANTHA GRAY
When we talk about money, there is always a loud silence in the room. We shy away from discussing it with others, and associate it with phrases like “never enough” and “the root of all evil.” The truth is, money is stressful, it goes as quickly as it comes and we’re never going to stop needing it. Fortunately for us, it doesn’t have to be that way - we don’t have to see it as this big scary thing that controls our lives. God provided wisdom in the Bible when it comes to dealing with money. Proverbs 3:9-10 says, “Honor the Lord with your wealth, with the first fruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine.” God blesses us when we honor Him. He fills our lives with everything we need. This is usually where we get lost in translation. Often times, we like to think that every little thing that we want should be granted to us; that we deserve the best. Well, the truth is, God isn’t a magical genie. He doesn’t exist to grant us wishes. He does, however, promise to take care of us. In return, we have to take care of what he gives us. The first lesson in doing this is remembering what the Bible says in Haggai 2:8, “The silver is mine and the gold is mine,’ declares the Lord Almighty.” Everything we have is His to begin with. He makes us able to work at our jobs, which provide us with money to buy the things we need. We have to take our resources to heart, and realize that they are a gift from God. We have to take time to manage our money well, and utilize what he provides the best we can. WWW.FAMCULTURE.COM
One way God asks us to manage our money is to take care of one another. 1 Timothy 5:8 says, “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Proverbs 19:17 says, “Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will reward them for what they have done.” He is pretty clear throughout the Bible about how we are to love one another above ourselves, and to do more than simply wish each other well. James 2:15-16 says, “Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,’ but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?” God wants us to flourish in life. He made us to do great things for Him. He knows what we need to live, and He will provide, but we also have to do our part, which is managing what He gives us in a way that brings Him glory. If the world looks at our lives and all they see is earthly riches and a greedy heart, our reward is only on this earth - the money in our bank accounts is our only reward at the end of the day. God says, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” - Matthew 6:19-21.
I t Wasn’t About
BEING FIXED
From day one I carried the knowledge that I
wouldn’t be the same when I came home. You never are, you know. You can’t go on a journey and come back and be the same person who boarded that plane. You know before the wings are in the air that you’ve got to wave goodbye to whatever your life looks like in that moment.
There was something about the way the water
slammed itself against the rocks on the coast of Northern Ireland that shook me. The way the tide continued to push, even when it seemed that it could go no further. Those kind of moments were the greatest moments of Ireland. The ones I couldn’t have planned for; the ones that made me push harder, rage onward, go further.
I decided to steep my heart in laughter, to let my
bones soak up uncertainty. I resolved that our trip wasn’t about answers, so I stopped searching for whatever it is that I’ve been looking for all this time.
We met a lot of people who stained me. Who
they are, the places they’ve been, the laughter they bring brought a color to my world in a way that no one else ever could. Their stories spilled onto the pages of who I am and I could never have imagined what beauty they would add and what freedom they could bring.
I found out a lot about the way walls work. It
became so clear to me that sometimes our efforts to save ourselves from misery creates a prison that also locks us away from the good stuff.
On this adventure I realized I was just sick of being
held hostage by my safe, self-made cages. I had missed out on so much joy, trying to save myself from all the pain.
In every single way, Ireland was entirely a surprise
and it was what I needed.
I didn’t know it before we left, but what I really
neededwas for my feet to ache from walking unfamiliar roads, for my eyes to blur from little sleep and lots of tears.
BY: ASHLIN HORNE
I needed to send my walls crashing to the ground and to remember how to say it’s hard, but I’m so tired of being afraid.
I needed that moment I had on a cloudy day when
I finally decided I was done. That I was finished with doing it on my own; that I’d had enough of all my failed efforts to save myself. It was then that I heard God laugh and say “Good, it seems you’re done with breaking your own heart.”
Long walks that led me to standing next to the
water were the pathway to knowing that it wasn’t about understanding everything, but it was about knowing God hears me, that sometimes He just sits waiting for me to say the words.
I found out that love was so much more than I
thought.That sometimes love is about listening, it’s not about proving. Sometimes the proof is in the silence, in the hours that you let another speak and you don’t try to fix them. Love knows that on this earth it’s not about being fixed, it’s about learning how to live broken.
And being broken isn’t so dreadful; no, it opens
you up to let it all come rushing in: the joy, the affection, the moments so beautiful that you can’t even seem to breathe. You can’t feel those things when you’re closed and tucked away. You’ve got throw yourself out there and let your barriers shatter on the floor. Because you were born for basking in marvelous things, for delighting in strangers and enjoying the luxury of lifelong friends.
There wasn’t a formula or a check-list. I didn’t
master the tasks of ministry or have a crusade in the town square, but I learned about love and freedom. I saw things that I’m certain I was born to see. I sunk my feet into places where greatness dwells and joy lives. I opened up my heart and like I knew it would, our adventure changed me. SUMMER 2014 22
FAITH
Overcoming FATHERHOOD’s dark secret
I want to let you in on a secret. It is not a huge secret, but one that many men are harboring as a deep, dark mystery to those around them. Men are excited about fatherhood. In a culture where men look up to Jason Statham, James Bond, and Lebron James this can come across as a negative ideal. We will not see these iconic heroes of athleticism and suave demeanor casually dropping milk on their wrist to make sure that it isn’t too warm for their infant. But still, something inside of my heart is swelled to bursting with the expectation of getting to do that soon. My wife is only 21 weeks pregnant as I write this and I have really enjoyed watching her progress. I will always cherish the way she looked at the sonogram, and her reaction when we found out it was going to be a boy. Its true, I cannot wait to be a dad. Besides my impatience, there is one other feeling that comes along with the rush of elation and excitement. A feeling that might make the male population even more secretive about their longing for offspring.
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FEAR. Men won’t say it, but we are terrified of being responsible for another human being. Maybe it is because we don’t have it all figured out for ourselves, or that we desire things for this child that we have been incapable of achieving. Regardless of the reason, this fear is very real and it can make communicating the joy of child expectancy a burden. The mingling of fear and expectancy is a difficult emotional minefield to navigate, and I have started to find hope in the culmination of this procesS. One of my friends recently told me that, “The first time you hold your child is like no other moment you have previously experienced.” He said that the first time he held his son he experienced “The love of the Father like never before.” He finally understood that unconditional love is the crux of the gospel. It’s what makes the message of Jesus so appealing, and it is exactly the remedy to the feelings of inadequacy that we feel as expectant parents. God tells us “There is nothing you can do to make me love you any less, and nothing you can do to make me love you any more.”
Men can’t be perfect parents, but we know the Perfect Father. God will continue to love us unconditionally and we can display this characteristic to our children. This can give us hope in our deepest feelings of failure and a reason to celebrate when we experience breakthrough. The best example of a tangible human relationship that depicts this reckless grace is the one I have with my dad. He has always been supportive in my life, and recently become very reflective about his choices as a parent and as my father. It is so interesting to hear how he thinks he did as a parent when compared with how I think he did as my father. The two perspectives are so diametrically opposed. He uses words like “disappointed” or “missed opportunity.” All I can remember are my dad’s bear hugs and words of wisdom. I remember the games that my parents cheered on the sidelines, the prayers that were prayed by my bedside, and the time he caught me trying to chop down my wooden tree house with a small hatchet.
“MEN WON’T SAY IT, BUT WE ARE TERRIFIED OF BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.” This feeling of inadequacy can be directly correlated to our relationship with God. We remember the times that we have messed up and we feel like we have let Him down. He must hate it when we feel downtrodden and defeated. Because every time we feel like we let Him down he can remind us of the simple truth of his steadfast love. “There is nothing you can do to make me love you any less, and nothing you can do to make me love you any more.”
going to break promises and miss soccer games, and even though my child is going to try to chop his own tree house down, I get the immense privilege of modeling God’s grace to my family. And maybe the bear hugs too.
Jordan Ledwell is a Children’s Pastor at
Freedom
Georgia.
Church
in
Acworth,
He has been married for
3 years and happily expecting his first child this summer. Check out freedomchurch.tv for more info!
BY : JORDAN LEDWELL
There are times I wonder, “What about when I mess up as a parent, won’t I put my kid into counseling?” “There is nothing you can do, to make me love you less.” My insecurities demand an answer to questions like “What if I teach them to say all the right things or teach them good habits?” There is nothing you can do, to make me love you more. We can rest that God is faithful, that he will continue to be there to lead us as we are leading our families. It is because God loves me unconditionally, that I can love my family in the same way. That is exactly why I cannot wait to be a father because I know that even though I am SUMMER 2014
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JUST FOR KIDS
SUMMER SCRAMBLE Unscramble the words! Then turn the page upside down and look on the bottom for all the answers!
1. caheb ___________________________ 2. heisnuns _________________________ 3. kbtsea _________________________ 4. eolsvh ___________________________ 5. ipla ______________________________ 6. blaeumrl ________________________ 7. olpo _____________________________ 8. etrta ______________________________ 9. otba _____________________________ 10. leotw ___________________________ 11. ccipin __________________________ 12. alsalbbe _______________________ 13. iebk ____________________________ 14. tionvcaa _______________________ 13. bike 14. vacation 15. swimming 10. towel 11. picnic 12. baseball 7. pool 8. treat 9. boat
15. misnwigm ______________________
4. shovel 5. pail 6. umbrella 1. beach 2. sunshine 3. basket
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SUMMER 2014 26
TEEN LIFE
SUMMER reading
Books transport us to a place inside our imagination that movies and television can only dream of taking us. This summer go to your local library to travel to different places, times, and universes! There are countless places to go when you open a book! If New York in the first half of the 20th century is somewhere that sounds appealing, try The Ten Cent Plague: The Great Comic Book Scare and How It Changed America by David Hajdu. This is a historical nonfiction story of how pop culture was formed in America and the witch hunts that tried to put an end to everyone’s fun. In the time between comic strips in newspapers and television in America, we had comic books. It’s a really interesting read with a great narrative from the perspective of the people in the industry and what happened to them because they were put on trial. If you are looking for a little adventure, try this epic series by Douglas Adams. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy is a collection of novels that focuses on a man named Arthur Dent. He’s introduced to the galaxy at large when he is rescued by an alien friend seconds before Earth’s destruction, and embarks on a series of amazing adventures, from the mattress swamps of Sqornshellous Zeta to the Restaurant at the End of the Universe. A thought provoking read, even more relevant to the culture we live in today, Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451 is a sci-fi tale written in the early 1950’s. In a far future world, television dominates, and books are outlawed. The totalitarian regime has ordered all books to be burned by “firemen,” whose job is to start the fires rather than stop them. But one fireman begins to see the value of the printed
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word. Fantasy with a twist. While in his home town for a funeral, a middle aged man drives to the site of his parents’ former home and visits the farm at the end of the road, where he remembers some curious events from when he was seven years old. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman while only clocking in at 175 pages, this book is worth the read because of the fantasy tinged elements that he recounts from experiences growing up around this pond and the magic it held. If pictures with words are more your style, try Blankets, by Craig Thompson. It’s a beautiful story set in the landscape of a blustery Wisconsin winter. Blankets explores the sibling rivalry of two brothers growing up in the isolated country, and the budding romance of two coming-of-age lovers. This is a tale of security and discovery, of playfulness and tragedy, of a fall from grace, and the origins of faith that is relevant for everyone. To round out the list we have one last graphic novel. Friends With Boys by Faith Erin Hicks is the story of Maggie. She has been homeschooled most of her life. When her mother runs off, leaving her and her brothers alone with their police officer dad, she is forced to join the ranks of schoolchildren in her town. She is now a high school student that means facing her problems head on in her school and solving the mystery of the melancholy ghost who has silently followed Maggie throughout her entire life. All in all, no matter what you choose, READ! You never know what will happen or what mysteries can be revealed!
THE TRUTH ABOUT
SELF-ESTEEM
The reality of being a teenager is hard, and unfortunately many teens struggle with lots of different issues on a daily basis. School work is challenging, they feel like their parents don’t understand them, their bodies are all different, they aren’t good at sports, it’s hard making friends, and the list goes on and on. These are just a sample of problems teens today encounter. Typically, the root of all of these conflicts is self esteem. How we view ourselves as human beings is fundamental in how we live our lives. If we have a negative opinion about ourselves, things are always going to come as more of a challenge than if we think more positively about ourselves. This is hard enough as an adult, but just think about how much harder it is for a teenager. In your teens, your life is a whirlwind. There are so many things going on around you at one time, so many different directions you can be pulled in, and making the right decisions all goes back to self esteem. As adults and parents in a community full of teenagers, we must always be looking for ways to encourage our youth and boost their self esteem. If we don’t value them and their opinions, how can we expect them to value themselves? Low self esteem begins in the brain, and once it takes root, it takes over the entire body. Once someone gets that low in their self esteem, it’s hard to come back. The odds of them having any positive thoughts about themselves diminish more and more, until they’re vanquished. We have to help stop this - put an end to these young people seeing themselves as inadequate, unlovable, and/or incompetent. Here are a few statistics to really show you how important self esteem really is, in case you’re still on the fence: Among high school students, 44% of girls and 15% of guys are attempting to lose weight. Over 70% of girls age 15 to 17 avoid normal daily activities, such as attending school, when they feel bad about their looks. More than 40% of boys in middle school and high school regularly exercise with the goal of increasing muscle mass, and 38% reported using protein supplements and nearly 6% admitted to experimenting with steroids. 75% of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in negative activities like cutting, bullying, smoking, drinking, or disordered eating. This compares to 25% of girls with high self-esteem. About 20% of teens will experience depression before they reach adulthood. 7 in 10 girls believe that they are not good enough or don’t measure up in some way, including their looks, performance in school and relationships with friends and family members. Ways we can help our teens, and encourage good self esteem, is to teach them how to look at themselves in a positive way. One huge way we can do this is to not compare them to one another - this is crucial. When we start comparing them against each other, we are laying the groundwork for poor self esteem. Every person is different, the way they’re meant to be. We all learn in different ways, look different and have different interests. How do we expect these young people to be inspired in who they are and thrive if we’re too busy saying how they should be more like ‘so and so.’ Another way to encourage positive self views is have an open line of communication with our teens. Get to know them, learn their behaviors, and let them know they’re not alone. Teens might think that they’re parents (and surrounding adults) don’t understand them, but we have to be there to show them that we do understand what they’re going through, and be supportive. Too many teenagers feel alone in this world, and in return feel like they’ve done something wrong. Reading the statistics above can be disheartening, and no one should fall through the cracks that lead to low self esteem. We need to build up a generation of kids who feel good about themselves, which leads to having kind hearts, which leads to less bullying, which leads to fewer kids feeling bad about themselves.
*statistic source: dosomething.org PHOTO BY: Fernando Valenzuela SUMMER 2014
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“We want to offer answers to the hard questions, suggest some things to consider, share stories of success and mountains that have been conquered. From our hearts to yours we want to be a part of your family and a place where you can find hope, inspiration and encouragement along the way.� FAMILY CULTURE MAGAZINE