Issuu

Darlington’s oldest and widest-distributed community magazine

A post-pandemic future beckons as lockdown restrictions ease What’s Inside Issue 89 May 2021

Darlington Monthly is proudly sponsored by:

Darlington cultural venues get funding boost

YORKSHIRE LOFT LADDERS

Places to go: Leighton Hall

FSC approved

Film Review: Thunder Force

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These days most homeowners suffer from a lack of storage space. So many precious items that need to be kept – but where to store it all? That’s where Yorkshire Loft Ladders come in. The company, based locally, offers homeowners the opportunity to maximise their storage space with a loft ladder, 50 sq ft of boarding and a light all fully fitted in less than a day from just £277 + VAT. But it’s not just the affordability of the package the company offers that makes Yorkshire Loft Ladders stand out as manager Warren Ingleson explains: ‘Our watchwords are Quality,

Integrity and Value. Quality in the materials that we use for all our installations and the fact that all our loft packages are fitted by time served tradesmen so our customers are assured of the best job. Integrity in that we will turn up at the time we say and make sure the house is spotless when we leave, and Value in that we offer our services at a price people can afford. Our business relies on referrals and we got a huge amount of our calls from people who have been referred to us by our existing customers - that simply wouldn’t happen if we didn’t adhere to our overriding principles.

lead to more happy customers is true and we work hard to make that happen for every installation we carry out!’ So, if you want to make use of your loft space, however big or

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At the end of the day the old adage that happy customers

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Strawberry Welcome to the Shortcake May edition of Darlington Monthly! Slice

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With experts having recently declared that the pandemic is now Layer biscuits with strawberries officially over in the UK, the country can start to optimistically look and cream and they'll soften to ahead to the future as the COVID threat recedes even further. create an indulgent no-bake Under the terms of the post-lockdown roadmap, and dessert. Super easy indoor and delicious, outdoor cultural performances can from 17treat May at it's recommence a fabulous summer the earliest. However, two Darlington venues, the Hippodrome and The Stage Door, are already getting state help with their postpandemic recovery, as page 12 details. Prep: 25 mins

Easy Plus overnight chilling While waiting for those venues and others to reopen their doors, you could catch a film on Netflix (check out our review of Thunder Force on page 30) or hack andIngredients slash with the new PS5 game Directions Assassin’s Creed Valhalla. We deliver our verdict of it on page 24. • 600ml double cream Step1 Line a 20cm cake tin or dish Here’s to a healthy and happy May, and we’ll be back next month. (either a square or rectangle • 1 tbsp vanilla bean paste

Yorkshire Loft Ladders is •the1proud sponsorblossom of this tbsp orange month’s Darlington Monthly. water

works well) with cling film, leaving an overhang. Whip 500ml of the cream, the vanilla, orange blossom water and 125g icing sugar with an electric whisk until thick and billowy.

As a renowned local company,• Yorkshire Loft Ladders 125g icing sugar , plus 2 tbsp would be delighted to provide you with the services – STEP 2 including loft hatches, ladders, flooring, boarding and lightingAdd a layer of biscuits to the tin, and spoon over some of the • greater 500g shortcake – that would enable you to get wor th out of this cream, about 1cm thick all biscuits, plus 3 over. Add a layer of strawberry sometimes neglected part of the house. crushed

Call the team now for free, on 0800 612 8359, or • 350g strawberries, visit www.yorkshireloftladders.co.uk for fur ther sliced information and a no-obligation quote.

YORKSHIRE LOFT LADDERS

Available to read online Visit darlingtonmonthly.co.uk /DarlingtonMonthly

Competitions

@DarlingtonMonthly

Makes 14

STEP 3

To serve, flip the tin onto a serving plate, and remove the cling film. Whip the remaining 100ml cream with 1 tbsp icing sugar and dollop on top of the cake, swirling it around. Top with the remaining strawberry slices in lines, sift over the remaining 1 tbsp icing sugar, and sprinkle the biscuit crumbs in between the rows of strawberries. Cut into slices to serve.

slices, then repeat with the cream, biscuits and strawberries until you fill the tin, finishing on a layer of biscuit. You’ll have some strawberries left over to serve. Press everything down well so every biscuit is covered in cream. Cover and chill overnight.

Disclaimer... Whilst we take every care to ensure accuracy in this magazine, we regret that we cannot accept responsibility for any incorrect information. All advertisements are accepted in good faith as to their veracity and we are not responsible for views expressed by contributors or other sources. The copying of any material within this publication is strictly forbidden without the publishers or Studio Managers consent. By providing your email address and entering our competitions you agree to receive email communications from the competition sponsor/prize provider.

Congratulations to last month’s competition winners, all winners have been notified. Winners are selected at random. The provider will only receive the winning entries inContact order to fulfil completion of the prize. Email: sales@darlingtonmonthly.co.uk Tel: 01325 776225 Advertise Darlington Monthly 4 details ofTo

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Website:www.innerbeingtherapy.co.uk Befriending weekly coffee mornings on Wednesday 23rd June at 10am till 11am to be held at the Quakers meeting house in Darlington. This community event is supported by the Mayor of Darlington. This service is for the members of our community who are experiencing loneliness and isolation where they can receive support.

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An exceptional range of high quality stoves available in the heart of the town centre. Owner Stephen Airey and his engineers have many years experience in the heating and fireplace industry. The showroom boasts an array of traditional and contemporary woodburning and multi fuel stoves from leading manufacturers. From bespoke inglenook designs to modern freestanding versions, JTA Fires Stoves and Heating will endeavour to make your dream a reality. We have a fully qualified installation team that cover HETAS approval for solid fuel applications, Gas Safe for gas fires and central heating systems, and also OFTEC for oil boiler installations. JTA Fires Stoves and Heating also supply and install inset hole in the wall gas and solid fuel appliances for a minimalist look. Alternatively, we can cater for those wanting a traditional focal point fireplace in either solid wood, marble or stone. Many of these fireplace designs can be tailor-made to your own specifications. We offer a free site survey with absolutely no obligation to purchase. We pride ourselves on our vast knowledge and experience, and welcome you to call in to see what we have on offer - you won’t be disappointed. Our showroom at 9 Duke Street, Darlington is open Monday to Saturday 9.30am-5.00pm. Sunday opening is by appointment only. If you would like to arrange a free site survey either call into the showroom, or get in touch on 01325 389238 or email jtafiresandstoves@ icloud.com. A warm welcome awaits at JTA Fires Stoves and Heating.

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Strawberry Shortcake Slice Layer biscuits with strawberries and cream and they'll soften to create an indulgent no-bake dessert. Super easy and delicious, it's a fabulous summer treat

Prep: 25 mins

Easy

Plus overnight chilling

Ingredients

Directions

• 600ml double cream

Step1

• 1 tbsp vanilla bean paste • 1 tbsp orange blossom water • 125g icing sugar , plus 2 tbsp • 500g shortcake biscuits, plus 3 crushed • 350g strawberries, sliced

Line a 20cm cake tin or dish (either a square or rectangle works well) with cling film, leaving an overhang. Whip 500ml of the cream, the vanilla, orange blossom water and 125g icing sugar with an electric whisk until thick and billowy.

STEP 2

Add a layer of biscuits to the tin, and spoon over some of the cream, about 1cm thick all over. Add a layer of strawberry slices, then repeat with the cream, biscuits and strawberries until you fill the tin, finishing on a layer of biscuit. You’ll have some strawberries left over to serve. Press everything down well so every biscuit is covered in cream. Cover and chill overnight.

Makes 14

STEP 3

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Darlington’s Hippodrome and The Stage Door venues handed Culture Recovery Fund support Darlington’s Hippodrome and The Stage Door live entertainment venues are among the over 2,700 cultural organisations across the UK to have recently been assigned financial help from the Government’s £1.57 billion Culture Recovery Fund set up as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic. In April, the UK’s Culture Secretary Oliver Dowden announced that both venues would be beneficiaries of the Fund’s second round of support. This round saw over £300 million in total awarded to thousands of cultural organisations nationwide. This was on top of the over £800 million in grants and loans previously distributed from the fund in the first round of awards. While this round was aimed at helping organisations handle the immediate challenges of the pandemic, the second round of awards will assist the likes of theatres, cinemas, museums and heritage sites as they plan to finally reopen. The Hippodrome intends to use its share of this latest funding round to offset losses from cancelled productions, retain jobs, secure the theatre’s long-term future and purchase new, state-of-the-art cinema screening equipment in readiness for when the venue can reopen in May. Heather Tarran-Jones, the Hippodrome’s Director of Programming and Development, expressed the venue’s delight about receiving fresh financial support, adding: “The last twelve months has been a challenging time for the sector and we are very grateful to receive support from central government, administrated through Arts Council England”, as part of the £1.5bn rescue package.

to a sustainable business model. However, what we really need is the return of our fantastic audiences purchasing tickets to future shows to breathe life and energy back into the Hippodrome welcoming the return of live entertainment.” The Stage Door will be putting its Culture Recovery Fund award towards safeguarding the future of cultural events at the combined venue and bar and enabling the company to continue its production and education work in music, theatre, film and television. The Stage Door reopened as a COVID-secure venue in April, with outside table service available in the patio garden. The Stage Door’s Creative Director Michael Fenwick enthused: “We are delighted to be awarded funding from the Culture Recovery Fund. We can now continue with planned productions and events after lockdown. Jobs have been secured and we can now further our investment in Darlington.

“We can’t wait to welcome back visitors to The Stage Door venue in Buckton’s Yard and develop our cultural and education programme right here in the town centre.” Mr Dowden commented: “Our record-breaking Culture Recovery Fund has already helped thousands of culture and heritage organisations across the country survive the biggest crisis they’ve ever faced.

“Now we’re staying by their side as they prepare to welcome the public back through their doors – helping our cultural gems plan for reopening and thrive in the better times ahead.”

She continued: “We are coming to the end of a difficult journey and this funding will assist in the transition back

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CLIFTON FURNISHINGS Clifton Furnishings is a new furniture warehouse located at 1 Chatsworth Terrace, Darlington. We are a friendly and knowledgeable family-run business, specialising in supplying high-quality but affordable carpets, rugs, linoleum flooring, sofas, beds and more to homes around the North East of England. Although we are a new company, we boast a wealth of industry experience and knowledge that we want to pass on to the lovely people of Tyne-Tees. Got a budget in mind but not entirely sure what you’re looking for? Get in touch and one of our furnishing experts will work with you to create a plan within your price range. Know what you want but not sure if you’ll be able to afford it? You’d be surprised at how low our prices are - but we NEVER compromise on quality. With Clifton Furnishings, you can be assured of getting the best deals on the best products. Our warehouse, which only opened last month, is already packed with a wide array of stock, and we are expanding on a daily basis. We have a range of sofas, carpets and rugs in store and ready to go and if we don’t currently have the product you would like in stock, we will do our very best to order this for you. We offer a delivery service, just ask a member of the team about this when ordering.

We are extremely passionate about what we do, and pride ourselves on providing top-class customer service every time. But don’t take our word for it - we have plenty of five-star reviews to prove it! Clifton Furnishings is open to the public Monday to Saturday from 9am until 5pm, and can be found just off Victoria Road near Darlington’s town centre. Pop in for a browse or get in touch by phone or through our Facebook page, where we would be happy to answer any queries and provide professional advice. Call 07951 582344, or pop in to see our furniture range at: 1 Chatsworth Terrace, Darlington, DL1 5DQ. Search for Clifton Furnishings on Facebook for regular updates.

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Places to go...

Silverdale for Leighton Hall

“Leighton Moss is home to a wide range of spectacular wildlife”

wanted a long journey last August to see how the railway was performing outside the north-east, so I went to tiny Silverdale in north Lancashire, out via Newcastle, Carlisle and Lancaster. Returning the same way would have been cheaper, with a series of three off-peak returns, but I returned via Carnforth, Skipton and Leeds. Silverdale is a rarity these days: a station where the passage between platforms is not by footbridge or subway but directly over the tracks, with no warning lights. The route to Leighton Moss RSPB (Royal Society for the Protection of Birds) reserve and Leighton Hall is well-signposted, and before long I was on the straight track east across the reserve and up into the foothills beyond, arriving at the Hall in 50 minutes. Leighton Moss boasts the largest reed bed in north-west England and is home to a wide range of spectacular wildlife including otters, bearded tits, marsh harriers, egrets and red deer. I could have cheekily peeped into the RSPB hides to observe the wildlife, but I pressed on, up through the field to Grisedale Farm and on the narrow paved road to Leighton Hall. Free Ordnance Survey maps of this area (and anywhere in Great Britain) can be obtained at www.streetmap.co.uk. Request postcode LA5 9ST. Leighton Hall is presently open on Thursday

and Sunday 2-5 (groups on other days by appointment) and was not always as peaceful as today. Owner Albert Hodgson became involved in the Jacobite rising of 1715, during which he was taken prisoner, and the house was burnt with Hodgson's possessions confiscated. The present house was built for George Towneley of Burnley, through his marriage to Hodgson's daughter Mary in the 1750s, in Georgian style and passed to the furniture-making Gillow family in 1822 who remodelled the frontage in Gothic style using local white limestone. It’s a comfortable home which the family open up, but pre-booking is essential. The woodland walk was informative, plus the walled garden which featured a large insect hotel and information from the gardener on how to promote wildlife. Given how many country homes are closed to visitors right now as a result of COVID-19, whether it’s National Trust, English Heritage or private properties, I was pleased to go on the 15.00 interior tour, which was interrupted by a birds of prey display on the front lawns. The tour resumed after the display finished so that visitors could enjoy the whole experience. Most visitors seemed to stay the full three hours. I finished up the last available strawberry scone in the tea rooms at 16.15, and went to collect my bag from the office of Mrs Reynolds, the current owner..

I retraced my steps back to Silverdale station through a field of inquisitive but not aggressive cows at Grisedale Farm, arriving at the station four minutes before the train. A few extra minutes in hand would have been less stressful! Then south one stop to Carnforth, where unfortunately the iconic “Brief Encounter” clock as featured in the film, was away for conservation. From Carnforth east to Skipton, which I had not ridden before as far as Giggleswick, and a cocktail in Herriots Hotel (very well organised for COVID-19) opposite the station at 1859 - just as Happy Hour was ending. I later had supper in Leeds, to experience the the one-way system introduced by Network Rail, and a coffee on the top floor Sky Lounge of the Doubletree Hotel near the station’s no longer new south entrance, and a late TransPennine train home to Chester-le-Street.

alexnelson@dunelm.org.uk

www.nationalrail.com

www.leightonhall.co.uk

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COACHES DAY TRIPS York & Yorkshire Heart Vineyard Sunday 27th June £47 per person including tour, tasting & afternoon tea. Pickering & The North Yorkshire Moors Railway Sunday 11th July Sunday 25th July Sunday 12th September £60 per person including one way journey from Pickering to Whitby with lunch on board

Rothbury & Cragside Tuesday 24th August £33 per person - including entrance to Cragside House

Chester or Cheshire Oaks Saturday 16th October £25 per person

RHS Tatton Park Thursday 22nd July £52 per person including RHS Ticket Holy Island & Bamburgh Tuesday 3rd August £20 per person

Barton Grange & Kirkby Lonsdale Tuesday 2nd November £22 per person

Contact Darlington Monthly Email: sales@darlingtonmonthly.co.uk Tel: 01325 776225 ForTo Advertise full itineraries or brochure please call 01833 621302

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COACH HOLIDAYS Legoland

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Sunday 24th - Tuesday 26th October £260 per person (Single Supplement £50) - including 2 nights DBB at Mickleover Hotel, plus entrance to attractions.

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Sunday 26th - Wednesday 29th September £395 per person (Single Supplement £120) - including 3 nights DBB at Francis Hotel, plus entrance to attractions on route.

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Friday 8th - Sunday 10th October £249 per person (Single Supplement £115) - including 2 nights B&B at Greenwich Novotel.

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Thursday 11th - Saturday 13th November Thursday 2nd - Saturday 4th December Thursday 9th - Saturday 11th December £340 per person (Single Supplement £65) - including 2 nights DBB at Pheasant Hotel, Kelling plus ticket to the Thursford Christmas Spectacular Show

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The Little Quaker Distillery The Little Quaker Distillery is Darlington’s hidden gem; Raspberry & Strawberry edition and the eagerly-awaited OId owners Paul and Leanne Colman have worked tirelessly for Tom edition. the last two years to establish themselves in the competitive The team has also been producing the golden rum Black gin market. Diamond, which is named after the third train to run on the Winners of international spirits competitions, their gin historic Stockton and Darlington railway. Meanwhile, the Black is renowned for its flavour. After starting in a converted Diamond Banana rum uses fermented banana peel to give outhouse, Little Quaker’s plans were always to eventually natural banoffee notes. move to the town centre. When COVID-19 struck, the team Paul reflected: “If the lockdown has taught us anything, then turned this into an opportunity. it is to look after the local economy. We would love to see Leanne commented: “We made some sanitiser for health the folk of Darlington supporting the town’s businesses and workers but chose to avoid publicity, and we focused on helping to get the hospitality industry back off the ground – rebranding and getting the shop ready for when lockdown and, of course, ordering a Quaker Gin behind the bar!” ended.The new premises in Clark’s Yard, Darlington is perfect – the history in the building sits perfectly with the gin and rums produced by Little Quaker.” On each bottle, there is a photo showing the town clock and a steam train.The name of Little Quaker comes from a love of Darlington FC – “The Quakers” – while the “Little” represents how they started up. The rich history of the building at Clark’s Yard sure to be talked about when the upstairs opens for pre-booked tasting events in late May or early June. The Little Quaker now has a range of six gins, from its multiaward-winning original Quaker gin, through to its brand new

The Little Quaker Distillery is based in Darlington in the North East of England it embraces the history of the town and hopes to trade on its values. The distillery hand crafts all of its bottles of gin using local ingredients sourced from local retailers, each batch is made in small volumes to give every batch an individual feel. The latest distilling equipment seamlessly combined with traditional stilling techniques going back centuries to ensure consistently excellent taste every time.

T: 07919 618125 www.littlequakerdistillery.co.uk

Find us on

Clarks Yard, Darlington, DL3 7QH 20

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Wordsearch

PUZZLE PAGE Simply complete one of the competitions below, fill in the entry form and send to the postal address provided.

You have the chance to win...

a tasting gift set Courtesy of... The Little Quaker Distillery

www.littlequakerdistillery.co.uk Clarks Yard, Darlington, DL3 7QH Tel: 07919 618125

Name The Ad HOW TO PLAY: Match the five segments of images below with an Advert in this magazine, place either the company name or the page number in the space below each box.

Sudoku easy

The Winner will be notified by Darlington Monthly within 14 days of the competition closing date. Name: Address:

Postcode: Email:

Please send all entries to: Competition Department, Unit 4, Station Road, Chester-le-Street, DH3 3DY. Competition End Date: 22nd May 2021 Find us on Facebook: DarlingtonMonthly Visit us online: www.darlingtonmonthly.co.uk

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Mental health charity Darlington Mind helps to launch new men’s group in Northallerton As part of a broader ongoing campaign to help individuals alleviate isolation experienced as a result of the pandemic, the local mental health charities Darlington Mind and Hambleton Community Action (HCA) have teamed up to launch a weekly men’s social group in Northallerton.

“We hope to have activity taster sessions and themed meetings that promote both physical and HCA is itself based in the North Yorkshire market mental wellbeing, as well as less structured social town, while Darlington Mind, though headquartered drop-in sessions. Please join us on Wednesday to in nearby Darlington, covers not only the help shape the group and explore how we can County Durham town but also South Durham, help each other and our community to be more Richmondshire and the Hambleton district, which resilient.” includes Northallerton. She acknowledged that the group’s programme Both charities deliver, in Northallerton and of subjects to be covered and activities to be surrounding areas, various services supporting held would be formed in a collaborative fashion, people’s mental and physical wellbeing, with the explaining: “At the initial session, we would love new group having been set up due to suggestions to hear about what topics/speakers/activities you made by HCA volunteers. The first session was would like to be involved in going forward.” scheduled for Wednesday 14th April from 2pm to 3:30pm. The group is open to any adult men who live in or are otherwise linked to Northallerton or any of the Though the charities have decided to initially hold surrounding areas. Any of these men who would the recurring event via the video chat software like to register their interest in the group as well as platform Zoom, it is hoped that the new group will receive the Zoom link for the group’s next start running face-to-face sessions and activities at meeting are invited to email a suitable, accessible venue in Northallerton at the reception@hambletoncommunityaction.org or call earliest possible opportunity. HCA on 01609 780458. Ahead of the weekly group’s launch, HCA Chief Officer Liz Lockey revealed that her charity “hopes to form an inclusive group bringing men together with a focus on helping our community to be more resilient; a space where they can make friends, participate, help others, learn and create. 22

More information about Darlington Mind and Hambleton Community Action and their activities in the local community can be found on these two charities’ respective websites at www.darlingtonmind.com and hambletoncommunityaction.org.

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The water animations are some of the best we have ever seen in a videogame, which is really important considering the amount of time you spend on board your longship, pillaging nearby villages with your crew. Facial animations are also solid, though conversations can sometimes look like scenes in a badly dubbed foreign film.

REVIEW:

Assassin’s Creed Valhalla (PS5)

Assassin's Creed: Valhalla is a massive open world RPG set in 9th century Norway and England. It focuses on the invasion of England by the Norse, and their quest to conquer the country and claim it in the Viking name. The playable character, Eivor, is a legend amongst his peers, and known for being a tremendous warrior – exactly the type of character we want to be controlling! We accompany Eivor on his travels around the huge, detailed map, encountering countless characters, quests and Easter eggs along the way – and the decisions you make can directly affect the outcome of the game, allowing for a huge amount of replayability. Bugs: For perspective, let's talk about the PS4 version of the game first. On release, it was plagued with annoying, tedious (and sometimes hilarious) bugs that at times made it nearly unplayable. With anything from getting stuck inside your horse to constantly spawning into the game drunk, you were certain to experience at least a few unfortunate glitches. Thankfully, the PS5 version has pretty much fixed all of the major, game-breaking bugs, making it a million times easier to sit back and immerse yourself in the gameplay. This isn’t to say that you won’t still find the odd bug on occasion – but, in a game as huge as this one, we can forgive that. Performance: The game’s graphics are incredible on the next-gen console, with the lighting, visual effects and colours all coming together in 60fps to create a magical world that, at times, could be mistaken for a photograph.

Gameplay: The storyline has its moments, but as a whole is quite forgettable. Fortunately, it is somewhat saved by the variety of well-voice-acted characters, who each have their own, distinct personality, helping to really bring the game to life. A lot of fun can be had just annoying certain NPCs until they tell you to get lost. The combat is where this game absolutely shines. It is a mixture of God of War-esque hack-and-slash and Elder Scrolls-like sword-and-shield RPG fighting. You truly feel like a Viking god when you are cutting through an army of enemy soldiers with ease or battling one of the numerous bosses. We believe that there is a perfect mix of easy and difficult foes to allow you to have a lot of fun without losing interest. There are numerous powerful special abilities you can discover whilst exploring the world, enabling you to completely change your combat style – and, with the huge variety of weapons, you can fine-tune your character to perform however you want. To Conclude: Assassin’s Creed Valhalla really shines when paired with the powerful hardware of the PS5, as the game is simply too huge and too demanding for the older consoles to handle. The near-instant load times combined with gorgeous graphics and high frame rate makes it a joy to play.

The weakest part of the experience is the uneventful and imaginative storyline, while the strong points are the glorious combat and open world. If you’re a fan of the likes of The Witcher series and Skyrim, you will absolutely love this game. Just make sure you’ve got enough free time on your h a n d s , because you most will definitely lose countless hours of your life to it.

Matty Smith Marketing Executive

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Triage, helping people succeed “Triage Central provides employability and training services across the Tees Valley, with offices located in Middlesbrough, Hartlepool and Darlington. Triage provides information, advice and guidance (IAG), skills and workplace training, work preparation and supportive recruitment services that help people secure a job, progress in the workplace and build meaningful careers.” Job Entry Targeted Support (JETS) The JETS programme is designed to support individuals who may have faced unemployment since COVID-19 or long-term unemployment as part of disadvantaged groups. Throughout the 6-month programme, we can provide various levels of 1:1 and group support, including bespoke action planning, training opportunities to refresh existing opportunities or to upskill, and vacancy matching to help our participants move back into employment. Work & Health Programme This programme is intended to support individuals who usually struggle to move into employment due to barriers such as health conditions, long-term unemployment or being part of disadvantaged groups.

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FILM REVIEW

The comedic superhero has become a strong trope in film – with comic-book adaptations like Deadpool, Shazam! and The Lego Batman Movie delightfully puncturing holes in the customary self-seriousness of the superhero genre. However, even many of its “serious” additions in recent years – see Ant-Man – are noticeably self-knowing about the inherent ridiculousness of random, Lycra-clad members of the public taking it upon themselves to apprehend criminals. As a result, any new comedy superhero film has its work cut out to find something fresh and witty to say – something that the Netflix-exclusive Thunder Force, starring Melissa McCarthy and written and directed by her husband Ben Falcone, resolutely fails to do. In an interview, Falcone has said that his intention was simply to fill a superhero film with jokes rather than poke fun at the genre itself – but, even as a broad comedy, Thunder Force falls flat. It doesn’t help that Falcone dedicates about the first 45 minutes to a needlessly convoluted and elaborate preamble that leaves little room for effortless humour. In the alternate 1980s recalled by scientist Emily (played by Octavia Spencer as the straight woman to her bumbling friend, McCarthy’s Lydia), cosmic rays struck the world and imbued numerous sociopathic individuals with superpowers.

Later scenes work better, if only slightly. Lydia’s flirtatious run-in with “the Crab”, a pincer-handed half-Miscreant portrayed with a literal wink by Jason Bateman, echoes the hero-villain romance between Batman and Catwoman. Meanwhile, Bobby Cannavale plays a corrupt Lex Luthor type who has secretly recruited Miscreants to help him with his bid for the Chicago mayoralty.

Those people became known as “Miscreants” – but as the cosmic rays apparently and inexplicably left the “good guys” untouched, Emily has since worked hard to develop a formula that could give them superpowers and counter the Miscreant threat. Alas, after Emily finally perfects the formula, and only enough of it for one person at that, Lydia is accidentally injected with it during a visit to Emily’s Chicago lab.

However, these subplots reflect the core problem with Thunder Force: it hews so reverently to the established superhero film playbook that it struggles to find much it genuinely wants to mock. Rather than engaging with much of the silliness specific to superhero films, it’s more interested in Lydia talking with a mouth full of raw chicken slices or a minor character repeatedly messing up the delivery of a knock-knock joke. There’s little thunder to Thunder Force, but it lamentably feels forced all right.

The ensuing scenes as Emily helps Lydia to develop her newfound super strength are almost as laugh-free as the training montages in the purposefully po-faced Rocky films. The closest Thunder Force ever gets to truly funny here is when Lydia finds out to her dismay that, while she must take a series of torturous injections to hone her strength, Emily has to do little more than swallow a pill to gain the power of invisibility.

Craig Lenaghan Copywriter

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on What’s on A Night in with Andy Weir 5 May – 18:30 – Darlington Hippodrome Andy Weir’s 2011 science fiction novel was adapted into Ridley Scott’s hit 2015 film The Martian – and now, at an event that attendees can live stream from their homes, Weir will unveil his new sci-fi mystery novel Project Hail Mary. You can book your ticket at darlingtonhippodrome.co.uk.

Shelley Stevens 21 May – 19:45 – Harrowgate Club & Institute Ltd Shelley Stevens pays tribute to such dancefloor divas as Diana Ross, Tina Turner, Cher, Donna Summer and Whitney Houston. Tickets for this event and others held at the Harrowgate Club & Institute are available from harrowgateclubandinstituteltd.co.uk. Forever ‘80s with Alan Young 22 May – 19:45 – Harrowgate Club & Institute Ltd The ‘80s remains a beloved decade for pop music. At this gig, Alan Young will perform favourites from top-drawer ‘80s acts including Duran Duran, Human League, Madness, Elton John and Tears for Fears. Patrick Monahan: Started From the Bottom, Now I’m Here 25 May – 19:00 – The Forum Music Centre Irish-Iranian comedian Patrick Monahan chronicles his rags-to-riches journey from his birth in Iran through to his working-class upbringing in Middlesbrough and, today, his life with an upper-middle-class girlfriend. Visit theforumonline.co.uk to purchase tickets.

A Night in with Dr Alex George 12 May – 18:30 – Darlington Hippodrome Best known for his stint on the 2018 series of Love Island, Dr Alex is back in an online, live-streamed talk to discuss various tips and tricks the nation can follow to improve its health. Through darlingtonhippodrome. co.uk, you can buy a ticket along with Dr Alex’s book Live Well Every Day.

The Excellent Adventure 28 May – 19:45 – Harrowgate Club & Institute Ltd Rock performer Billy Black is set to bring an electric atmosphere to this show – with a variety of songs from acts including AC/DC, Bryan Adams, Aerosmith, Kings of Leon, Bon Jovi, Led Zeppelin, Bad Company and Ozzy Osborne included.

A Night in with Yaa Gyasi 18 May – 18:30 – Darlington Hippodrome With her new novel Transcendent Kingdom, bestselling author Yaa Gyasi broadens the traditional immigrant narrative. At this online, live-streamed discussion, she will explain why this was important to her. To purchase tickets for this event, visit darlingtonhippodrome. co.uk.

Jamie Tinkler 29 May – 19:45 – Harrowgate Club & Institute Ltd With his fantastic voice and charismatic presence, Jamie Tinkler has the credentials to bring to life many muchloved songs of modern music – including “Cry Me a River”, “Come Fly with Me”, “Just Haven’t Met You Yet” and “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”.

Got an event coming up? Let us know and we’ll help spread the news. Email details of your event to: sales@darlingtonmonthly.co.uk 32

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Darlington Monthly May 2021