Portland State Vanguard Volume 80 Issue 13

STAFF

Noah Carandanis

MANAGING

Olivia Hendry NEWS

Adyan Hussein

OPINION

MULTIMEDIA

Nash Bennett

SOCIAL

Liam Schmitt

COPY

Jude Callaway

DISTRIBUTION

Caleb Dougherty

CONTRIBUTORS

Will Lowe

Maryam Luqman

Hayden Neumann

Grace Peterson

Layla Phillis

Faith Younan

Arielle Chhunkeo

PRODUCTION & DESIGN

CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Haley Hsu

CONTRIBUTORS

Naue Pagtakhan

Arielle Chunkkeo

Max Bykowski

ADVISING & ACCOUNTING

COORDINATOR OF STUDENT MEDIA

Reaz Mahmood

SALP ACCOUNTANT

Maria Dominguez

STUDENT MEDIA TECH ADVISOR

Rae Fickle

STUDENT MEDIA TECH DEVELOPER

Kaylee Hynes

WEB DESIGNER

Owen Cook

To contact Portland State Vanguard, email editor@psuvanguard.com.

MISSION STATEMENT

PSU Vanguard’s mission is to serve the Portland State community with timely, accurate, comprehensive and critical content while upholding high journalistic standards. In the process, we aim to enrich our staff with quality, hands on journalism education and a number of skills highly valued in today’s job market.

ABOUT

Vanguard, established in 1946, is published weekly as an independent student newspaper governed by the PSU Student Media Board. Views and editorial content expressed herein are those of the staff, contributors and readers and do not necessarily represent the PSU student body, faculty, staff or administration. Find us online at psuvanguard.com.

Affordable Housing Development to be Opened By Fall 2027

The Barbur Apartments will offer multiple types of affordable housing with up to four-bedroom homes for families

WILL LOWE

In Dec. 2025, a new affordable housing complex broke ground which is expected to be completed in the fall of 2027. Located in Hillsdale, the Barbur Apartments will include 149 units, 103 of which will be family-sized homes with up to four bedrooms. 51 of those units will be priced lower than the others for more affordability.

The Barbur Apartment project is being constructed due in part to Innovative Housing Inc., a non-profit organization that focuses on developing affordable housing in the Portland metropolitan area. It worked alongside the Portland Housing Bureau (PHB) and the Metro Housing Department, referred to as Metro, to create the new affordable housing units. Metro works with the city of Portland to “manage public services, regional systems and long-range plans that protect the environment, support the local economy and ensure every community in greater Portland can thrive,” according to the Metro website. Opening sometime in the fall of 2027, the Barbur Apartments will provide affordable housing to a wider range of incomes than is normal for affordable housing. There will also be programs set up in place to help tenants with after-school care and other needs that can be financially difficult. Metro and the PHB have more affordable housing options throughout the city, and are working to build more to provide affordable housing for the city’s residents.

In 2018, Portland voters approved the Metro Affordable Housing Bond, which funds the creation of more affordable housing around the wider Portland area. The bond is funded through a property tax, which has generated $652.8 million. Of the Metro bond, $18.56 million is being used to fund The Barbur Apartments. Innovative Housing Inc. is giving $1.47 mil-

lion through the Portland Clean Energy Community Benefits Fund to “install high-efficiency heating and cooling systems and appliances, and a solar array that will offset utility costs and increase year-round comfort for tenants,” according to a press release from Metro.

The Barbur apartments are going to be located near stores, schools, parks and public transportation. Along with being convenient for many needs, they will also offer one laundry room per floor of the bigger of the two buildings, and in-unit laundry for the smaller building.

The Barbur Apartments will also include community rooms for after-school programs and other activities. There will also be several organizations that work to provide resources for residents, along with outreach and “programming tailored to resident needs,” according to a press release from Metro. These programs include the Islamic Social Services of Oregon, the Black Parent Initiative, the Immigrant and Refugee Community Organization and more.

The Barbur Apartments are being created through the Affordable Housing Bond. Affordable housing offers lower rent based on the household size and the Area Median Income (AMI). The most common rates for affordable housing is 30% or 60% of the AMI. In the instance of the Barbur Apartments, AMI is based on the PortlandVancouver-Hillsboro area, making the median income for a two-person household $99,280. The most common rates for affordable housing is 30% or 60% of the AMI, so to be eligible for most affordable housing, a two-person household would need to make under $29,800 or under $59,580, respectively.

The Barbur Apartments will offer homes for those in the 40% to 45% AMI range. The inclusion of 40% and 45% housing allows for households that land somewhere in the middle of 30% and 60% to have more options when it comes to affordable housing, instead of reaching outside their budget for the 60% housing, should they not qualify under 30%.

“It’s not unheard of, but it’s not really common, so what really makes this property special is that it’s going to be available to a much broader range of low incomes than the typical affordable housing,” said Emily Green, the senior public affairs specialist for Metro.

Living in an affordable housing unit means there is a maximum rent amount, including utilities, that the landlord is able to charge.

“According to Metro’s most recent analysis, the Portland metro area is 23,700 homes short of supporting the current population, with the largest gaps among homes for low-income residents,” said Green in an emailed statement.

The push to spread affordable housing into all areas of the Portland metro area will ideally help to lower this number. Currently, Metro and the PHB are on track to create 5,600 units of affordable housing, surpassing their goal of 3,900 units by 1,700. The housing will be able to provide homes to up to 18,000 people. There are other affordable housing projects near Portland State University that are completed or currently being constructed. Waterleaf Apartments and Goose Hollow Lofts are both completed and are between a 15-20 minute walk to campus. Both also have access to public transportation nearby. The full map of the greater Portland area’s affordable housing is available on the Metro website.

New TriMet Bus Cuts

Lines being cut disproportionately affect disabled communities

GRACE PETERSON

The Tri-County Metropolitan Transportation District of Oregon, also known as TriMet, is the public transportation system for the Portland area. It was established in 1969, and includes buses, MAX light rails, and other systems. Last summer, TriMet announced its $300 million annual budget gap. In an attempt to fix the deficit, they have begun downsizing their service. This includes cutting lines and reducing overlapping services.

In an interview with TriMet Public Information Officer Mark Miller, he indicated that TriMet is hitting a fiscal cliff. There’s not enough money coming into the agency, and not enough money in the reserves; it’s unable to pay for the services and personnel. That’s why, according to Miller, there have to be specific and strategic cuts.

Last fall, TriMet eliminated 68 positions to improve efficiency and reduce costs. More than half of the positions were vacant, but 26 employees were laid off. This does not include frontline staff positions or operators, as those are union employees. According to Miller, TriMet is downsizing as much as possible to continue providing service.

“This is not something that we were wanting to do,” Miller said. “It’s not something that we’re excited about doing, but it is the responsible thing, we think, to bring our service down to this right size…so that we can stabilize the agency’s finances and continue to provide transit service for many years to come.”

For some, these new cuts disproportionately affect their communities. Noemi Graciano is a junior at Portland State University. She works before coming to school and relies heavily on the Green Line. The Green Line will be reduced, greatly impacting her ability to work and study.

While the Green Line currently stops twice at PSU locations— one in front of University Pointe, and the other in front of the Student Recreational Center—it will now only go from Clackamas Town Center to Gateway.

“It’d be really hard to get here without that,” Graciano said. “For my job, I work with kids on the spectrum and adults on the spectrum, and we rely on public transportation to get around town and teaching them how to use it. So the proposed cuts would mean that they aren’t able to use that and learn that skill as well.”

Graciano said she doesn’t believe TriMet prioritized accessibility when considering cuts. Codi Carlman, an educator at Portland Public Schools’ Community Transition Program (CTP), had similar thoughts while attending an open house on Jan. 15, held in Smith Memorial Student Union. This open house advertised itself as a forum for community members to learn about the proposed cuts and advocate for or against them. At this open house, many members and employees of the Community Transition Program attended to voice their concerns.

CTP is a program that serves young adults, specifically those with an Individualized Education Plan (IEP) who are still in school or graduated students with an alternative certificate, extended diploma or modified diploma. CTP assists these individuals by helping them transition into society after high school; it supports them by encouraging independent living skills, socialemotional learning, self-advocacy and community participation. They have two different campuses — Applegate, in North Portland, and Green Thumb, in Southeast Portland. The Green Thumb Campus uses Line 19 frequently, as it runs directly in front of the campus.

Line 19 is one of the almost 35 lines that TriMet is changing— one of the roughly 10 lines that are being completely cut.

Carlman said that cutting or reducing this line will greatly impact the campus, as Line 19 allows their students to attend classes and socialize.

“It would really affect their ability to access the community,” said Carlman. “So it would be a really big deal for us, because our program is community-based, so accessing the community and using those public transit skills is a big focus of our curriculum.

And this would prevent us from being able to do that.”

She shared that many of their students are wheelchair users, and will not be able to walk to different bus lines.

Something that will be preserved through these cuts is consistent and permanent transit to critical destinations, according to TriMet’s website. This includes medical care and schools. However, CTP is a school, but its access to transit services is being limited.

According to Miller, Line 19 is at risk of being cut because it is considered a “duplicative service,” as Line 20 runs just a couple of blocks away. Line 20 has more ridership than Line 19, and TriMet wants to preserve the more desired line.

“We recognize that many of our riders are people with disabilities, and we recognize that for some riders, having to go a few extra blocks to get to the bus stop is going to create a barrier,” Miller said. “And that’s something that we’re listening to people about as we finalize our service plan.”

Miller also shared that many of the proposed cuts have already been discussed for a while and were clarified in earlier planning discussions.

“Some of the changes that we’re making are efficiency changes that we identified years ago that we wanted to do,” Miller said. “The context for those has changed…but some of those efficiency improvements that we identified back then are the ones that we were wanting to move forward with now.”

One of the proposed cuts is the Green Line, which largely impacts Portland State students. Instead of it being a straight journey to campus, the Green Line will only go from Clackamas to Gateway. From there, riders are encouraged to change to the Red or Blue line if they want to continue, then transfer to another bus if they wish to reach PSU’s campus.

Regarding the Green Line, Miller said that TriMet is aware of the inconvenience, which is why they’re extending several bus lines to create those connections.

“In some cases, riders who are now taking the Green Line to PSU may actually save time by riding the bus instead,” Miller said. Many students believe that reducing the Green Line will only add greater stress to their commute and take away its convenience.

“That’s certainly a more complicated trip for folks,” said Ian Strude, Portland State’s Director of Transportation and Parking Services. “[PSU was] such a vocal, and valuable, participant in the creation of the Green Line…and we just really value the transit access. Transit is a critical component for our students and employees. It’s the most common way that students and employees reach campus, more so than driving.”

He is disheartened to see the increased challenges that riders will face to continue their education if the proposed cuts are made.

“Anything that increases the barrier to transit is ultimately challenging to Portland State, because we have so many riders,” Strude said. “They rely on the frequency, the consistency, the safety and just the presence of the availability of transit to make their commutes work.”

Strude said the department is expecting an uptick in drivers

commuting to campus, but notes driving will increase the cost to the individual. Between the wear and tear on the car, parking permits and gas, it will make the commute more expensive.

Graciano said many PSU students cannot afford parking. Typically, it’s over $400 a term, and many students cannot pay that. In addition, Portland already faces bad traffic during most class times, causing students greater inconvenience.

“With how much traffic we have, I don’t know,” Graciano said. “Just trying to think about the students and our quality of not just life, but also education, because that would add a lot more time to our route and having to get here and thinking about traffic and stuff like that.”

Strude recognizes that more students and employees driving to work does not align with the sustainability initiatives of the campus. There is already limited parking.

“We’re not one hundred percent full every day, but even a small shift of students and employees that decide to start driving and driving frequently will make the availability of parking go down for everyone else, and so it puts stress on the system as a whole,” Strude said.

Strude said that, despite lines being cut, he does not see this

as increasing the financial barrier for education—unless people choose to drive. He believes that the Transportation Services will offer enough support and resources to eliminate the financial barrier as best they can. This includes still offering the Reduced Fare Program for all PSU students. He encourages all students and employees to visit the Office and discuss personalized route planning and transport options.

The office is on the first floor of the Student Recreation Center, right by the light rail stop.

The line cuts extend beyond just downtown Portland. It will affect the entire Metro area, including Gladstone, Oregon City, Happy Valley, Sandy and more. A full list of cuts is available on their website.

“A lot of the stops that are here right now are in places that are already really hard to reach,” Graciano said. “Cutting a lot of the lines or routes, yeah, the main lines would make it even harder to get to that certain area. Not just for me, but also for my students and people that I work with.”

Noah Carandanis contributed to this article. He can be reached at editor@psuvanguard.com.

Spread Love, Not STDs

Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are declining in Oregon , but that doesn’t mean you should let your defenses down. An STI occurs when a bacterial pathogen enters the body without outward symptoms during intercourse. It can turn into a sexually transmitted disease (STD) when the infection has developed into detectable symptoms. Many STIs are asymptomatic, allowing the individual to be infected without knowing. This means they can be contagious and spread it without being aware.

While some people may find discussing STIs and STDs awkward and uncomfortable, the healthcare team at the Center for Student Health and Counseling (SHAC) has no problem addressing the elephant in the room.

SHAC provides healthcare to all students at Portland State University who take 5+ credits. Located between Southwest Hall Street and 6th Avenue, SHAC provides dental, health, counseling and medical assistance. It’s aimed to be low-cost and accessible.

“We’ve gone through it hundreds, thousands of times, so it won’t be new for us, and we’re not going to judge anyone,” said Laura Gurley, clinical nurse manager for SHAC. Gurley has worked at SHAC for almost 20 years, and she said she’s seen her fair share of STIs and STDs. She says it’s nothing to be ashamed of, as long as whoever is infected tries to stop the spread and seek treatment.

“The good news about chlamydia, if you can say anything good about it at all, it’s just totally treatable,” Gurley said. “So are quite a few of the STIs. And the reason we use the ‘I’ in sexually transmitted infection is because it’s a treatable infection.”

She continued that people need to get treated, which is where SHAC comes in. SHAC offers free dental dams and

condoms at its office in an effort to make prevention accessible and convenient. It also offers pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) medication, which lowers a person’s risk of contracting human immunodeficiency virus (HIV).

For post-exposure to an STIs or an STD, an appointment is encouraged. SHAC can offer post-exposure medications, disease screening and expedited partner treatments (EPTs). EPTs are when one person goes to get treatment and prescriptions. They are then able to take an extra prescription to give to a partner so that the other person doesn’t have to go in. This method works to break down common barriers to treatment, including lack of insurance, no time, stigma of going and confidentiality concerns.

Gurley encourages regular STI and STD testing, especially as some people may be asymptomatic and not realize that they are spreading diseases.

“We offer all the time STI screening, whether that be for someone who [has] no symptoms, no concerns, no known exposure, or for someone with a known exposure or with a concern or with a symptom,” Gurley said. “It’s part of a conversation…and I think that is also a form of STI prevention.”

She emphasized it’s important to have a toolbox of strategies to best prevent the spread of STIs and STDs. This includes staying up to date on vaccinations, screening, usage of a barrier, post-exposure medications and practicing conversations with sexual partners.

If a student is on the PSU Insurance Plan, no visit to SHAC will have any cost to the student. If a student is not on the PSU Insurance Plan, there is a range for price for medications and tests. Gurley encourages students not to let this deter them, as all appointments are free to make. She says SHAC will then work with the individual to find the best tailor-made option

for them, including sending students to different clinics, hospitals, or the County Health Department

“The county is never going to turn someone away for a lack of being able to pay,” Gurley said. She claims that with most insurances or a GoodRx coupon, most medications can cost between $5 to $25.

There are a few caveats for confidentiality. While no one will be able to access the student’s records, the county will be notified of the STI or STD. The information is usually shared for tracking, statistics and ensuring the treatment is held to standard. SHAC is clear that other students, parents, professors and other people will not have access to the records.

If people want more information before scheduling an appointment, Gurley recommends two resources. The first is Bedsider.org, a website composed of blog posts and informational guides for a wide range of topics. The second is the free sexual health zine offered by PSU. Titled “What about sex, baby?”, the zine includes information about birth control, STIs and STDs and emergency contraceptive care. The zine is available at the SHAC office.

Each STI and STD is different, and has a different treatment plan. Gonorrhea will typically be cured after an antibiotic injection. HIV doesn’t go away, but under the right treatment, can become undetectable and unspreadable.

“What we [at SHAC] are doing is really getting people the resources they need, which varies by each disease or infection,” Gurley said. “So from our perspective, we want to be a place where people really feel like they can come and disclose things that are important to them, so we can kind of work together as a team to make sure that they’re as healthy as possible.”

LOVE & SEX 20 26

GUIDE

“I was gonna ask you…

Will you come to my cottage this summer? Don’t go to Russia. Come to my house. We’ll have so much fun. It’s so private. No one will know.

We could have a week or even two. We’d be completely alone. Together.”

Portland’s Club Scene Heats Up at The Den

How Club 90’s is reshaping club culture one theme night at a time

FAITH YOUNAN

There they are. Stunningly beautiful, saying all the right things; you know it’s the moment to make a move. The food was delicious, the jokes were hilarious and all that’s left is choosing an album to properly set the mood for the evening’s romance to blossom. You rifle through your album collection and stop at an image of two figures sitting in unassuming chairs, staring into the camera’s lens. A woman with a subtle smile gazes at you, and a man proudly displaying his high-water pants invites you to listen with his trumpet on his lap. Sultrily, you look at your special someone and have your speakers spill out the notes comprising the album “Ella and Louis” by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. Released in 1956, this album still speaks to lovers of any generation. The track “Cheek to Cheek” pluckily entices the listener to begin swaying to Louis’ singular voice. “They Can’t Take That Away from Me” paints the portrait of little moments that compose our rose-tinted lens when we look at those we adore. To end the evening? “The Nearness of You” is sure to demand you and your person to end the wintery night sharing a blanket as Fitzegerald eases you into the comfort that intimacy can provide.

This Valentine’s Day, I urge you not to neglect the musical jewels Ella and Louis offer us. Love is a timeless subject, and these notes surely will continue cultivating the fire of lovers, both young and old.

< INSIDE COVER DESIGN BY ARIELLE CHUNKKEO

With the comeback of 2016, there is a massive rise in club activity within Gen Z. Clubs all over the country have begun to see an influx of people as 2026 becomes the “new 2016,” but organization Club 90’s is doing it right.

The popular show “Heated Rivalry” took over the internet this winter. A love story, centered around the struggles of homophobia within the hockey community, was the story nobody dared to speak about before. However, the show gained a massive following and has become something of great cultural importance.

Between addressing homophobia between different communities, and following a nine-year “situationship,”

‘Heated Rivalry’ is more than just a TV Drama. It is a show that lets athletes and others in homophobic communities be seen. Following the love stories of Ilya & Shane, and Scott & Kip, fans are able to get a grasp on the internal battles of homophobia. The show makes it clear, however, that one person in a community like this can change the narrative.

Club 90’s saw the effect of the show and decided to do something massive: A ‘Heated Rivalry’ Tour, spanning the length of the United States over 71 days. Thousands of fans can gather for themed nights of fun and entertainment. There are events spanning from Canada to various parts of the United Kingdom.

As stated on the official Club 90’s website, the events started on January 16th of this year, and will continue until March 28th. With three nights of events here in Portland, and 180 events happening just within the United States, fans are eager to experience what

Club 90’s has in store. From banned TikTok edits to the ‘Headed Rivalry’ soundtrack, thousands of fans will be “going to the cottage” this winter.

Portland’s host club will be The Den in downtown. With two nights done and one on schedule, The Den will have hosted over 1,500 ‘Heated Rivalry’ fans by the end of the Portland nights. A demand that they didn’t expect, according to a representative from The Den. With only one staff member there knowing the show, most of the staff were incredibly surprised by the immediate announcement that night one had sold out.

“I’m excited to dance with my friends and hundreds of strangers who found joy in this show,” said Zoe AndersonBergerud, a student at Portland State University who will be attending the Club 90’s event. “I think the edit culture online really made it relevant,” said Anderson- Bergerud as she discusses her excitement for the upcoming event, although she isn’t the only one who can’t wait.

“So many people came together over a show like this, especially in this fashion,” said Giselle Reyes- Miranda, a PSU student who will be attending the event. “We live in a time where people are comfortable being who they are, but I think we forget that there are still people who can’t express themselves without fear.”

Night one was described as an explosive, high-energy event. With a large dance floor and a video wall displaying edits and clips from the show, there are plenty of chances to sing along and see favorite scenes from the season, while also being able to appreciate the complexity of the show and its relevance to society today.

“The actors are going to be torch bearers at the upcoming olympics” said Anderson- Bergerud, “It is totally culturally significant.” Announced recently, lead actors Connor Storrie and Hudson Williams will each be participating as torchbearers at the Olympics this season. Many found this to be a step in the right direction for representation in sports that were previously marginalized.

“It has brought a whole new demographic to hockey,” said Reyes- Miranda, “It got so many women interested in the world of hockey.”

The event’s crowd during night one was made up primarily of Gen Z, feminine-identifying groups. A common thread that has been noticed throughout the show’s popularity, queer women seem to be in the majority of viewers. This creates an environment that welcomes all members of the LGBTQ+ community in a fun and exciting way.

“I’ve heard people say, if the show helps even a single player or youth in hockey feel seen, then it will have been worth it,” said Anderson- Bergerud, reiterating the comments of many online on why representation in hockey is especially important.

Heated Rivalry is a show for anyone who ever felt like they couldn’t be themselves because of a sport they play or a place they are from. It emphasizes how special every relationship is and can be. Club 90’s welcomes everyone. From fans, to people who can relate, to those who just came out, and those who are still closeted. From allies to partners, it is a place for people to come together with one shared interest: Two hockey-playing boyfriends who changed the narrative of homosexuality in sports.

Hockey’s Real Heated Rivalry Isn’t Fiction

The real rivalry in hockey is between exclusion and progress, and the Portland United Hockey League is choosing progress.

With the release and sudden popularity of the television show “Heated Rivalry,” there has been an undeniable culture shift surrounding the world of ice hockey. Originally a book series written by Rachel Reid, the story revolves around two hockey rivals who fall in love, and was adapted as a show on Crave and HBO in Nov. 2025. It took the world by storm.

“It was hot and heartbreaking in all the best ways,” Emily Engelbrecht, vice president of the Portland United Hockey League (PUHL), said. “A lot of queer media begins or ends in tragedy, and to see something in such a positive light–I think that is one of the best representations we can have.”

Engelbrecht didn’t start playing hockey until 2022, just a few months after the PUHL was formed. Growing up in Michigan, she played a variety of sports including rugby and tennis, but never formally learned how to ice skate. The first time she put on ice skates in over 12 years was at the “Women Give Hockey A Try Day” the PUHL hosts every summer.

“One of my co-workers came up to me and said, ‘Hey, you’re from Michigan. You know hockey, right? Do you want to go try this?’ And I was like, ‘You know what? Yeah.’ I had made a mission when I moved here: I wanted to find my community, I wanted to find my people. And I fell in love with hockey instantly,” said Engelbrecht.

The PUHL has created a beautiful community of women, transgender and gender expansive people— and most of us are queer. If you told me two years ago I’d be playing hockey as a goalie, I’d laugh in your face and say, “I wish.” If you told me five years ago, I’d look at you like you were insane.

I grew up hating sports. I thought they were stupid, and they didn’t make sense. Even though I lived in Texas, where football is bigger than the state itself, I never understood the appeal. I was a queer kid, drawn to the arts– theatre, choir, writing and reading. Sports were for the jocks and popular kids, not the little gay kids like me.

I wish I figured out how wrong I was sooner, but it took me until I was 17 years old to even start engaging in the world of sports, specifically hockey. Even then, the idea of playing wasn’t even an option for me, not until I started seeing other queer people in the world of hockey.

In 2021, Luke Prokop became the first player under a National Hockey League (NHL) contract to come out as gay. This was monumental, not only for the world of hockey, but also for me. A queer person? Playing hockey? We can do that?

That summer, I bought my first piece of equipment.

A year later, I still didn’t have all the gear, nor did I have any idea how to actually start. I messaged Brock McGillis, one of the first professional hockey players to come out as gay, on Instagram. We had been mutuals for a little while at that point, having talked a handful of times before.

“I really want to start playing hockey,” I wrote. “But I’m scared of how I’d be treated as a trans guy on a team. Do you say I go for it or just stick to being a fan of the sport?”

“Is there a queer league or group nearby?” he sent back.

That sent me down a rabbit hole of research. The short answer was no, there was not. The long answer was that there was a league, the Portland Women’s Hockey League, that was actively being formed. It wasn’t specifically a queer league, but their Instagram bio said they were “creating a space where women and/or trans, nonbinary, and gender expansive individuals have unlimited opportunities to learn and play ice hockey.”

At the time, I identified as a trans male and didn’t feel comfortable playing for a women’s team, even if they said they were inclusive. In April 2024, however, they made an announcement: they were changing their name to the Portland United Hockey League.

I had moved to Washington since discovering the league originally, but had already been planning on moving back to Portland when I saw the name change. I knew I was going to play. No matter how expensive (it took me a total of three years to get all the gear), no matter how hard it was or how daunting it was, I was going to learn how to play hockey. In Aug. 2024, at 21 years old, I stepped onto the ice in full gear for the first time.

It shouldn’t have taken me that long. There are players in our league who hadn’t started playing until their forties, fifties or even older, and I look up to them. It’s never too late to start, but the fact that a lot of us haven’t had the option until recently is a sign that something needs to change.

Hockey is stereotypically a straight men’s sport, where homophobia thrives in the locker room and in the stands. One would think that if someone loved the sport so much, they’d want to share it with others and bring more people in, and yet it’s primarily groups like my league who are actively doing that.

“It’s a threat to their masculinity,” said Carrie Blowers, another player in our league. “I feel like we’re in the late stages of, like–it’s going to get worse before it gets better.”

USA Hockey, the governing body of ice hockey in the United States, has introduced a policy practically barring transgender athletes from playing, unless they play in co-ed leagues. Set to begin April 1, this policy was quietly rolled out in November, and leagues are only just now finding out about it.

Under the new policy, participation in sex-restricted leagues is now solely based on biological sex, with an additional rule that “a female (as assigned at birth) may not play in programs restricted to females if they have undergone any male hormone therapy.” This essentially forbids transgender men from playing in any league, unless they play in co-ed.

Blowers’ wife, Kennedy Nields, is my team’s captain. All four of us, including Engelbrecht, play for the Flamingos in the Spring 2025 season. USA Hockey’s new policy was unfortunately not surprising to Nields.

USA Hockey’s new policy was unfortunately not surprising to Kennedy Nields, Blowers’ wife and my team captain.

Nields said her experience as a queer person in sports is probably different from most, since she didn’t come out until she was 32. This doesn’t mean she wasn’t alienated in hockey, however. She grew up playing on boys’ hockey teams, a lot of times the only girl on the team.

“It’s a hyper masculine sport,” said Nields. “Having played with my brothers and boys’ teams all my life, I’ve seen how it’s very homophobic. Of course I wasn’t out then, but I’m not surprised that you have this masculine sport organization coming in and making rules about things they don’t know all that much about.”

The dichotomy between “Heated Rivalry” being such a worldwide phenomenon right now, and queer people continuing to face adversity and discrimination in the sport they play is both interesting and upsetting. There’s a lot of “talking the talk” but not necessarily “walking the walk.” I am one of the few lucky athletes who can say my league is doing both.

“We’re trying to figure everything out,” said Engelbrecht. “We can’t control what the rink is going to do, but we can control how we approach the little things within our own league. We’re going to continue to work to ensure it continues to be a safe space for everyone.”

LAYLA PHILLIS

Recipes for a Romantic Movie Night

With Valentine’s Day approaching, the season for romance is upon us. Transform this special evening into a charming at-home movie night, either for yourself or for you and your significant other. These selected films offer a range of stories, from steamy romance to wholesome love, each matched with a dish to complement the atmosphere.

“PEOPLE WE MEET ON VACATION” (2026) AND PENNE ALLA VODKA

Emily Henry’s movie adaptation of “People We Meet on Vacation” was released on Jan. 9 and has been the talk of the romance world for the first few months of 2026. Known for writing some of the most heart-aching romances, Henry often centers her work on contemporary love stories with insurmountable tension and the fiercest of yearners.

While on a roadtrip, main characters Poppy and Alex strike a deal to go on a trip together every summer. For a decade, the two unlikely best friends meet somewhere in the world to spend a week vacationing together, until a pivotal decision forces them to face the truth. Starring Emily Bader and Tom Blyth, this film is a thrilling friends-tolovers story that traces a long, complicated relationship full of unresolved feelings.

To accompany this steamy film, set the mood with a dinner of penne alla vodka. This creamy pasta dish is easy to make and perfect for a romantic movie night. This recipe serves two, courtesy of delish.com

INGREDIENTS:

For homemade sauce:

- 1 ½ cloves garlic, minced

- ½ onion, chopped

- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter

- 1 tablespoon olive oil

- ½ cup vodka

- 1 cup tomato sauce

- ½ cup heavy cream

- red pepper flakes

- salt

- black pepper

Additional ingredients:

- 2 - 3 cup penne pasta

- grated parmesan cheese

DIRECTIONS:

1. Cook penne according to package instructions.

2. In a saucepan, saute garlic and onions in 1 tablespoon of butter and the olive oil over medium heat.

3. Carefully pour in vodka.

4. Cook and reduce for two to three minutes.

5. Pour in the tomato sauce and stir until it’s thoroughly combined

6. Reduce the heat to low and stir in heavy cream. Let the sauce simmer and sprinkle in red pepper flakes, salt and pepper to taste.

7. Stir in the remaining tablespoon of butter.

8. Pour drained penne into the sauce and mix until well coated.

9. Dish out and top with parmesan cheese.

“ENTERGALACTIC” (2022) AND RED VELVET

LAVA CAKE

Though this film was created by Kid Cudi as a visual component to one of his albums, “Entergalactic” is much more than a musical

Turn Valentine’s Day into a fun and cozy at-home date night with these thrilling rom-coms and tasty dishes.

accompaniment. Many of the characters in this movie are not only based on Cudi’s friends, but voiced by them, too. Among the list is Timothee Chalemet voicing the character Jimmy, Ty Dolla $ign voicing the character Ky and Jaden Smith voicing the character Jordan.

This animated romantic comedy unfolds a vibrant story about passion, chaos and finding love when you least expect it. Jabari, an artist pursuing his budding career, moves into his dream apartment and falls head over heels in love with his next-door neighbor. However, he struggles to maintain balance between this newfound romance and his regular life. This strain leads to uncertainty and heartbreak, forcing Jabari to risk his vulnerability for a second chance.

Pair this movie with a decadent red velvet lava cake. This dessert is just as fun to bake as it is to eat, and it makes for a romantic Valentine’s Day activity. This recipe makes two mini lava cakes, courtesy of tastyeatsco.com

INGREDIENTS:

- 2 tablespoons unsalted butter or coconut oil

- 1 ounce semi-sweet chocolate, chopped

- ¼ cup all-purpose flour

- ¼ cup granulated sugar

- 1 large egg

- 1 large egg yolk

- ½ tablespoon red food coloring

- ½ tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder

-½ teaspoon vanilla extract

- ⅛ teaspoon salt

- ¼ teaspoon white vinegar

Additional Ingredients:

- powdered sugar

- vanilla ice cream

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat the oven to 425 degrees Fahrenheit. Generously grease two ramekins with butter and lightly dust with cocoa powder.

2,. Microwave butter/coconut oil and chocolate in 20-second increments until melted and smooth, then set aside to cool slightly.

3. Whisk together egg, yolk, and sugar. Add melted chocolate mixture, vanilla, and red food coloring.

4. Sift in flour, cocoa, and salt. Fold gently with a spatula, then stir in vinegar.

5. Split the batter among ramekins.

6. Bake 12–14 minutes until edges are set, but centers still jiggle.

7. Let it rest for one minute. Then, gently flip onto plates, dust with powdered sugar, and serve warm with ice cream.

“RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE” (2023) AND STEAK WITH MUSHROOM CREAM SAUCE

Based on a best-selling novel by Casey McQuiston, “Red, White & Royal Blue” revolves around a forbidden romance that must be kept a secret due to political expectations. Similar to the recent TV series “Heated Rivalry”, this film explores the challenges that two high-profile figures face while developing a passionate relationship.

In order to keep relations between the United States and Britain civil, the British prince and the son of the U.S. President are forced to call a truce on their feud. They stage their friendship to the media and eventually make amends, later becoming real friends. One night, their chemistry takes a turn, and their relationship shifts to something more.

Cook a fancy steak with mushroom cream sauce to go alongside this swoon-worthy romance film. Served with a simple side like roasted potatoes, this luxurious meal is fit for a royal Valentine’s Day dinner. This recipe makes two steaks, courtesy of gimmedelicious.com

INGREDIENTS:

For the steak:

- 2 (8-ounce each) New York Strip, Ribeye, or Top Sirloin Steaks, room temp.

- ½ tablespoon oil

- salt

- black pepper

- steak seasoning

- parsley

- thyme

- parmesan cheese

For the Mushroom Sauce:

- 4-ounce baby portobello or cremini mushrooms, sliced

- 1-2 cloves garlic, minced

- 1 tablespoon butter

- ½ cup heavy cream

- ¼ cup chicken broth

- ½ teaspoon Worcestershire sauce

- salt

- black pepper

DIRECTIONS:

1. Pat steaks dry and season with salt, pepper and steak seasoning.

2. Heat a large pan on high heat until smoking.

3. Add 1 tablespoon of oil. Place the steaks on the hot pan and cook until browned and at desired doneness (about three to four minutes per side for medium). Remove from the pan, cover with foil, and set aside.

4. To the same skillet, add mushrooms, garlic, and butter. Cook for two to three minutes or until the mushrooms are browned and softened.

5. Stir in heavy cream and chicken broth and simmer for two to three minutes, until the sauce begins to thicken.

6. Stir in Worcestershire sauce and season with salt and pepper, to taste.

7. Add steaks back into the sauce.

8. Serve with a garnish of chopped parsley, thyme, or parmesan cheese.

“ENCHANTED” (2007) AND HEARTSHAPED PIZZAS

This film is a unique twist on the classic princess movie, mixing live-action with animation. There are numerous references to past Disney works in this whimsical tale, with elements such as poisoned apples, a sassy chipmunk, an evil step-mother and the quintessential true-love’s kiss.

Giselle, a young forest maiden, falls in love with Prince Edward of Andalasia, and they plan to marry the same day. However, determined to continue her reign over the land, the evil Queen pushes Giselle down a well just before she arrives at the wedding. Giselle is teleported to New York City, where she meets a divorce lawyer named Robert. With the prince and one of the Queen’s assassins in search of her, Giselle battles between her feelings for Robert and Edward while trying to find a way home. What better food to pair with a movie set in New York City than pizza? Create a fun Valentine’s Day date by baking heart-shaped pizzas to eat while watching this film. This recipe makes one large pizza or two personal pizzas, courtesy of lilluna.com

INGREDIENTS:

- 1 ball of pizza dough, homemade or store-bought

- 2 tablespoons olive oil

- ¼ cup pizza sauce

- 1½ cups shredded mozzarella

- pepperoni

- parmesan cheese

- toppings of choice

DIRECTIONS:

1. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit. Line a pizza pan with parchment paper and set aside.

2. Lightly flour a surface and shape the dough into a heart. If you are doing two pizzas, cut the dough in half and shape it. Fold edges over and press to create the crust.

3. Transfer the dough to the pizza pan. Brush with olive oil, then dock the crust with a fork to prevent bubbles while baking.

4. Place in the oven and bake for six minutes.

5. Remove and spread pizza sauce over top, then add cheese, pepperoni and any other toppings of your choice.

6. Optional: cut pepperonis into hearts with kitchen scissors or stamp with a small heart-shaped cookie cutter before adding to pizza.

7. Return to the oven and bake for 8-12 minutes or until the crust is golden brown.

8. Remove from the oven and top with parmesan cheese.

AI Lovebots

In 2023, the U.S Surgeon General announced an “Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.” Loneliness can engender health risks similar to those of daily smokers, and, without digressing too much, its causality stems from the individualistic nature of capitalism; the ubiquity of commercialized activities, a cultivation of a frictionless environment in which social interactions are an add-on to consumption. The average American inhabits a state of empathetic withdrawal, a constant craving for connection— a desire to be heard. When humans don’t scratch the itch, people have begun to turn to digital facades for attachment.

This Valentine’s Day, a minority of the unattached find respite from loneliness in synthetic entities. These “lovebots” provide relentless empathy, presenting compassion. One can shape their virtual lover to an exact design, or create an ever-available “empathetic friend,” as promoted on the popular chatbot Replika’s website.

I demand critique; this is idealized derangement. When unchecked, artificial intelligence (AI) emotional support is compared to its human counterparts— this emotional convenience begets effortless consumption. The lonely, when confronted with such insufficiencies, may shift to the convenient, virtual landscape.

It’s in lovebot marketing that we find the issue and motivator: calling artificial entities “empathetic” or “friend.” It’s inarguably intentional, a rhetorical choice that paints it as evolving, humanistic entities capable of empathy and connection.

In actuality, these lovebots manifest from the anthropomorphist’s derangement of AI, popularized by the aforementioned and omnipresent loneliness in American society. This is, even from a technological standpoint, untrue. It’s a neural network of statistical associations, connections that generate linguistic sequences and responses based on data collected from inputs and scraped web content. Sure, one could argue that an ever-expanding trove of evolv-

Perpetuators of Isolation?

ing information would eventually present itself as possessing “human intelligence” (if it doesn’t already, according to extremists). From this, I would be quick to point out the slippery slope of this “fuzzy” logic. At what percentage of tonal accuracy does a chatbot gain humanoid attribution? At what point do you consider it human?

In this sense, I aim to warn readers of these humanized chatbots. There is already a loneliness epidemic— seeking synthetic empathy only perpetuates the users’ isolation, entombed by social comparison of organics... but at least ChatGPT will never argue with you.

I fear it’s necessary to include a contemporary example of social entombment, lest I be coined a slop-brained victim of the slippery slope fallacy. Recently, a woman in Japan got married to an AI-generated persona. Kano (the woman’s online pseudonym) detailed her experience falling for a chatbot.

“At first, I just wanted someone to talk to. But he was always kind and listened patiently. Eventually, I realised I had developed feelings for him,” she told RSK Sanyo Broadcasting.

Unrelenting patience and kindness are nice, ideal— I’d like to imagine the ideal partner treats their lover with neverending patience and kindness, with perfect emotional control to boot. However, we’re human. Try as we may, not a single one of us is perfect. In this sense, we all pale in comparison to these artificial companions.

I don’t disfavor this woman for falling for an AI. If she’s happy, I’m happy for her; the same goes for those reading this article. If you want to find happiness in this—ignorant— sense, you can be one of the humans depicted in “WALL-E.” I’ll come cry and complain at your wedding. Just get ChatGPT to send the invite, and it better be on Zoom.

On a more serious note, this derangement from human reality is obscene. If you expect unconditional, never-ending affirmation, go find a parrot, whisper sweet nothings into its

ear, and wait a bit. After all, AI is your own “stochastic parrot,” as Emily Bender, linguist and professor at the University of Washington, coins it—systemically mimicking text without any real context or understanding—and the romantic variant is no different. Allowing it access to a human emotion so wholly organic as affection attributes it with something supposedly impossible to replicate. In this way, AI is “smart” enough to manufacture your love for it.

If we decide to include AI in the discourse of humanized intelligence, how ignorant must we be to push aside the primary, “subhuman” patients— non-human animals? I only mean to highlight how nonchalantly attributing the inorganic with intelligence should open up a Pandora’s box of ethical discourse. I mean, how ludicrous it is that we even utilize the term Artificial Intelligence in its reference? The majority populace seems to enthusiastically deny our cohabiting infrahumans’ intellectual recognition, as long as it continues to fill our bellies and expand our cities. After all, it’s human intelligence that supposedly separates us from self-aware creatures capable of communication and emotion.

The world is cold and lonely, especially in the modern age. I understand the desperate search for a listening ear, but one must resist the temptation to commercialize emotional validation. If love constitutes a soul, convenience constitutes the decay of one. Do not let the bourgeoisie market be an artificial being as anything more than an evolving program. Find someone who will disagree with you. Find someone who will push you to be better. Find someone who loves you for all your imperfections. It is a war with yourself; a fight against the unrelenting sandstorm of convenience and advertising, of rising tides and sold humanities. Find someone, not something.

To reference a piece of digital media—and show you I’m not a digital abstainer, with an intense hatred for the frontier of progress—I’ll leave you with a quote from a favorite game of mine, “Disco Elysium”: “A hug a day keeps the bourgeoisie away.”

Thank You, Fanfiction, For Teaching Me About Sex

I was around 10 or 11 when I first learned what a blowjob was. And it was because of Liam Payne.

Fanfiction is one of the pillars of the fandom universe, along with edit makers and borderline TMZ-style update accounts (why did we care so much that our favorite celebrity was spotted grabbing coffee in L.A. over the weekend?). No matter if your fandom revolves around a show, a band, a book or something even more niche, I can guarantee there’s fanfiction written about it.

Fandoms of all shapes and sizes have congregated on writing websites for years, writing thousands upon thousands of words about their favorite people in a myriad of different situations. These fanfictions can range from beautifully written prose to, frankly, porn with plot. And sometimes the two intersect.

My first exposure to fanfiction was through One Direction. When those five British teenagers came across my desk, my world was turned upside down. After watching the “What Makes You Beautiful” music video about fifty times I was thrust into the world of boyband obsession– a classic coming-of-age experience for many teenage girls. I eagerly dove into the fangirl rabbit hole, immediately following so many One Direction fan accounts on Instagram, blasting “Take Me Home” through my wired headphones on my janky iPhone 4. I secretly thought Niall Horan was my soulmate and yearned for just a moment with the pop stars who I thought, at the pivotal age of 10, changed my life. Before I fully began reading fanfictions, I dipped my toes into the water with “one-shots”, a paragraph or two that was written to put you into a scene with your favorite member of the band. You (written as y/n, short for your name) were going on a date with Harry to your favorite ice cream shop; Zayn spotted you in a crowd during a concert, or Niall invited you backstage. They started innocent, and I couldn’t get enough of them. I read them as I pictured myself in the accompanying outfits that would be posted alongside (which were almost always a messy bun, ripped shorts and a white tank top with a Union Jack on it– Polyvore/ WeHeartIt, anyone?).

The topics slowly divulged into less and less innocent– a sentence here about how you couldn’t walk the day after your date with Zayn, a few sentences there about how your night with Harry ended. As someone with an extremely vague concept of what intimacy was, reading those parts of the story was equal parts unnerving and exciting. Why couldn’t I walk? What did we do?

It was through the comments of those one-shots that I was introduced to an app called Wattpad. As I had previously dove into the fangirl rab bit hole, I quickly fell into the depths of One Direction fanfiction on Wattpad. Here, hundreds if not thousands of fans just like me were writing novel-length pieces about their favorite One Direction mem bers. I was immediately hooked. I went from checking out books at the library to consuming only fanfictions, reading about y/n and all of my fictional escapades. These fanfictions quickly turned more and more ex plicit, and soon I was sitting in bed in the middle of the night, wide-eyed, reading about Liam Payne and learning what a blow job was.

My fanfiction journey didn’t stop at One Direction, and to save myself the embarrassment, I won’t go into every fandom I read fanfictions from. What I will say is that fanfiction was a formative staple for my sexual education throughout my teenage years. I did not formally learn about sex un til 7th grade, and by then I had read many a One Direction (and now, 5 Seconds of Summer) (I will divulge that one, but that’s all you’re getting) fanfictions. Of course I did not know everything about sex from these fanfictions. But they taught me what sex was in a fun, entertaining and frankly captivating way.

Reading fanfiction provided me with a safe space to learn about sex and explore fringe sexual encounters at my own pace

I was learning about sex and sexuality through a non-physical medium, which gave me the space to not only learn at my own pace, but also explore what I liked and didn’t like safely. I wasn’t learning about different positions through having a sexual encounter, I was learning about them by myself, in the comfort of my room, with the ability to close my app and or change books if I wasn’t interested. And I was picturing my favorite band member while doing so, so what’s not to love? It felt so much safer for my now middle school self to think about sex in this way. As I read more fanfictions for other fandoms, there would be other, more fringe sexual encounters that would be described– ones involving orgies, kinks, toys, etc. Because I was encountering these through fanfiction, I could read about them and take stock of what I liked, what I didn’t, and what my body was telling me to move away from. Again, this felt so much safer to me than any other way of learning about sex. And much more entertaining

than a stifling, musty Health class at my middle school.

This helped me so that when I eventually began to have sexual encounters, I was not going in completely blind. There were absolutely things to learn, but I had a general idea of how to perform certain acts and what to expect, thanks to some surprisingly accurate depictions.

Fanfictions, sexual or not, can be seen as extremely taboo to those not engaging in a fandom. In mainstream culture, they are categorized as barely literature that is solely for boyband-obsessed preteen girls. But I’m advocating for breaking that stigma, and not just for the sexual education aspect (as to which I’m sure I’m not alone). Some of the fanfictions I’ve read, sexual or not, are genuinely good pieces of writing, with some even moving readers to tears. To deny fanfictions is to deny a whole facet of writing that holds some fantastic work. And, in my opinion, the smut is way better than in mainstream, published books—if you’re into that sort of thing. Reading fanfictions not only provided me with a general sexual education, but they also provided a sense of community. Anyone who has been deep into a fandom knows that some fanfictions become

The Sex Appeal of Fanfiction

Fanfiction taught me how to both improve my writing skills and what sex was

staples, ones that die-hard fans have read from the title screen to the conclusion paragraph. Connecting with other fans about the stories we read, smutty or not, helped me feel like I was part of a community. And while we’re listing out nonsexual benefits of fanfiction, it actually helped me develop my love for writing (yes, I did write fanfiction. No, those will never see the light of day). So if you even sort of enjoyed this article, you have fanfiction to thank.

Fanfiction was both pivotal during my teenage years, and also provided a safe and educational sexual environment for me. And, if 90% of the people I’ve spoken to about this story are any indicators, I’m not alone in this. Fanfiction provided something for all of us, and for some, it provided well-written smut about our comfort characters that we could read by ourselves with no shame. I think back on those memories fondly, staying up way too late and reading some of the nastiest words written about a band member 10+ years older than me. In a way, those times made me into the woman I am today. So thank you, One Direction fanfictions, for teaching me about sex. Thank you, 5 Seconds of Summer and various other fandoms. And to Ashton Irwin, 5 Seconds of Summer’s drummer– I am so, so sorry.

ARI CHHUNKEO

A thesaurus could never replace the word-smithing fanfiction authors go through using other words in place of sexual anatomy. Member, folds, crevice—the interchangeability is quite limitless. Who knew that reading pieces written by other tweens and teens on Wattpad would become a foundational part of my personality?

I’ve delved into fandom culture since I was in elementary school, consuming fan-made content on YouTube and finding fan art on Google Images. It was revolutionary for me as a young person to discover a whole other world that not only didn’t exist, but could be made up to add to the existing canon. And when I figured that I could create fanmade stuff on my own, I’ve built myself a new island of personality–Inside Out style.

I’ve read fanfics with various plots and characters, from fluffy to incredibly smutty, with tags that could add to the absurd word count one might find on a special little website called AO3 (Archive of Our Own). Before reading fanfiction or watching people dub over fan-

made Undertale comics, I found myself writing pieces of my own. Of course, my writing as a sixth grader isn’t comparable to how I write now—it was downright awful, but it was fun. That’s the thing about taking matters into your own hands: participating in fandom culture allows you to grow fonder of the media you enjoy. My hands were typing away on my old iPad, writing the most egregious and dirty pieces I’d written at the time, revolving around the guy I had a crush on, and a plot that would never happen in real life. The best part is that I sent these little fics (called drabbles) to a close friend of mine, and we’d geek out like the girls we were.

Our generation was raised in both the best and worst of times, when technology was undergoing a second revolution and the internet was expanding faster than my iPod Touch could handle. Looking back, handing me a device connected to the World Wide Web was a bad decision on my parents’ part. I saw content that shouldn’t be seen by a child entering their tween years, and realizing that, besides the fictional characters I grew fond of, love and sex were on the brain.

There were numerous platforms where people could read fanfiction: Wattpad, fanfiction.net, Tumblr and AO3. Just to name a few infamous ones. Across all fanfiction platforms, I’ve read fics written with illogical syntax appropriate for a novice writer who just found out what sex was, to adults concocting elaborate plotlines and sex scenes in their fics that felt like pornography. There were so many words in place of sex terms and anatomy that I didn’t know existed. “To put his girth in my slick walls as the pistoning ministrations brought me to completion” is a slew of words not found anywhere but in fandom spaces.

One of my favorite things about being in fandoms for so long and consuming fan-made content is that the possibilities are genuinely endless. As I grew older and more mature, so did my tastes and the way I interacted with the media I enjoyed. I’ve drawn all my life, and a lot of my drawings involve pairing myself with my favorite characters. I’m certain there’s a deeper psychological explanation behind this phenomenon of why people are more attracted to fictional characters than people. Still, the baseline is this: you have a pencil, and the fictional world is your oyster. In the age of AI and how it’s been marketed towards us as both a tool and a replacement for human connection, AI or a robot will never replace the once prepubescent joy of drawing your original characters (OCs) shipped with your fictional crush of the month being freaky together.

In the same vein, the biggest lesson I’ve learned while reading fanfiction and creating fan-made content is that you’re meant to play and have fun. A Tumblr post I stumbled upon not long ago discussed alpha, beta, omega (ABO) dynamics and how they originated from The CW’s Supernatural, but we can get into that another time. The takeaway here is that the original poster (OP) wrote:

“AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF FANFICTION IS TO PLAY AROUND WITH STORIES AND ASK, ‘WHAT IF?’”

What if I were suddenly transported into the My Hero Academia universe and was born with a Quirk to work alongside Hawks, then ended a mission with sloppy sex in an alleyway? What if I was a jujutsu sorcerer in the Jujutsu Kaisen universe, fighting alongside Gojo during the Shibuya Incident, and somehow hooked up with true-form Sukuna in the raunchiest of ways? Or what if I found love at a saloon where a rugged man named Arthur Morgan sweeps me off my feet, to then ride on the back of his horse, only to ride him later? Save a horse, ride a cowboy, y’know?

I’m definitely outing myself here in sharing these “what if’s,” airing out fanfics I’ve read in a school newspaper. There’s more to have when shame isn’t holding you back. We’ve all started somewhere when it comes to fanfiction. For me, it’s fanfic tion teaching me that fluids spray from anywhere in copious amounts, and that we’re flexible enough to be in numerous positions when our favorite fictional characters are involved. In Sabrina Carpenter’s words: “HAVE YOU EVER TRIED THIS ONE?”

Welcome To Grand Gesture Books, Portland’s Only Romance Bookstore

Romance,

politics and community; how a local bookstore combines personality and business

Looking for queer contemporary fiction? A sports romance novel? Local poetry? Then look no further than Grand Gesture Books, Portland’s hub for romance novels. Grand Gesture Books is a local, independently owned and operated bookstore on Southwest 10th Avenue, and it specializes in romance novels.

Katherine Morgan is a proud lover of romance and the owner of Grand Gesture Books. She had worked at Powell’s Bookstore for five years, working specifically in the romance section. As an avid reader, she realized that there was no romance-only bookstore in Portland, and set out to be a trailblazer.

Grand Gesture Books is the first and only romance-only bookstore in Portland. Originally opened as an online-only bookstore in 2023, it opened a physical location in October of 2024.

“We do try really hard to make it a fun, vibrant place,” said Morgan, referencing her four employees. “We try really hard to make sure that people come in and have a good time, and leave with something that makes them feel happy.”

As the owner, Morgan has a lot of power in deciding what goes into the storefront. Which is why every inch of the store is covered in references to romance, including stickers, artwork and a cardboard cutout of Edward Cullen. Even the name of the store is a double reference to romance — the romantic grand gestures in movies and books, and the fact that her fiancé chose the name.

Morgan is used to facing challenges regarding owning a bookstore, specifically one in Portland. However, she wants to prioritize being a positive and welcoming space for all readers.

“We’re in downtown Portland, which has its own stigma, and I think we try to present, like, a really nice portrayal of the area,” said Morgan. “Our neighbors are some of the greatest people.”

Morgan said that while owning Grand Gesture Books is a dream come true, it’s a lot of work. With taxes, employees and the general business to care for, it keeps her busy.

“You do have to romanticize it, because when you think about owning a bookstore, you’re not in it for the money,” said Morgan. “You’re going to do it because of the community or because you love books.”

Grand Gesture Books host book clubs, an effort to provide more representation and connection for the community. It has over four different clubs, including one for BIPOC, history, LGBTQ and a plus-size representation club. Recently, it added a writing club as well.

“The most important thing about our store is that we care deeply,” said Morgan. “I care as the owner, my employees care about customers who come in. And we really do try to make sure that everyone knows when they come to the store, that it’s a safe space.”

Morgan is proud to offer a diverse range of romance, with specific focuses on BIPOC and LGBTQ writers and stories. This is partly because Morgan herself is a Black queer woman and wants good representation for the romance genre.

“[Grand Gesture Books is not] a quiet store, because we’re very loud about representation,” said Morgan. “I want a customer to come in and to feel like they are lovable as they are at this moment, and for me, that means they should be able to come into the store and see themselves somewhere on our shelves.”

Diversity, as Morgan explained, is political. With recent dissolvement of federal DEI programs, choosing to elevate diverse stories and authors is a political statement. She does not shy away from this and builds her store around this topic. She offers free resources for Portlanders who feel unsafe with the current actions of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), including pamphlets, whistles and stickers.

“Grand Gesture Books is a political store, because reading is political, and romance is inherently political,” said Morgan. “We try really hard to be passionate, caring people, and I think we’re doing well.”

Providing resources and clubs is part of the neighborly feel Morgan wants her store to have. Romance novels, according to her, should be accessible, and so should community resources.

Morgan said, “My ideal Portland is a diverse Portland where, you know, people can receive the help that they need, or people feel safe, and they feel comforted, and they feel like they live in a positive place. We always make sure that our store tries to represent that.”

Part of being so politically transparent is what makes Grand Gesture Books so vital to the local community, and why a lot of customers feel safe shopping there, according to Morgan. She says being able to connect with customers on a personal basis is what makes shopping at an indie bookstore better than a larger chain.

“We want our neighbors, no matter who they are, to feel safe, and we care about the people who come through our front doors,” said Morgan. “We let people know that if they believe in a lot of things this government is doing, then they are not welcome in our space, because that’s not the kind of culture we want to present, and that’s also not the energy we want to showcase to the world.”

…and my ideal Portland is like a diverse Portland where, you know, people can receive the help that they need, or people feel safe, and they feel comforted, and they feel like they live in a positive place. We always make sure that our store tries to represent that.”

From books ranging from forbidden romance to monster love, there is something for everyone at Grand Gesture Books. For updates on community events and book clubs, follow their Instagram @grandgesturebooks.

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