Editor : Dimple Mehta March 2019 Pages - 32
DADAVANI
Live With Love…Promise?
Conti. Issue No.: 161 Year : 14 Issue : 5
EDITORIAL In the worldly interactions in our lives, the word love (prem) is used in many places. However, along with this, in those very same worldly interactions or relationships, attachment and abhorrence also arise to a great extent. In that situation, questions arise, ‘Can this be considered as love? Where love exists, can it be this way? So then truly speaking, what can be considered as love?’ Whilst explaining the exact definition of love, absolutely revered Dadashri says, “That which does not increase or decrease is real love.” That which increases and decreases is not love, but it is considered aasakti (inner tendency inclined towards attraction that attaches). Our people refer to even illusory attachment (moha) as love, but there is the hope of receiving something in return. When one does not get that, then based on the restlessness that arises within, it can be known that it was not pure love. In this era of the time cycle, where would one be able to witness such pure love that is without selfish motive, without aasakti? Experience of that love has taken place simply in the direct presence of Dadashri. Whosoever has gotten a taste of his oneness even just one time, such a person has not been able to remain without His compassion and love. Simply put, love means that one does not see negatives or faults in anyone. In which there is no selfishness, no expectation, no accusation, no rules, no divisiveness due to difference in opinion, no intense mental note, no authority, no separation…in short, there is no ego or ‘my-ness’. In the current edition, Dadashri teaches the method to become the embodiment of love. In the daily worldly interactions of life, the one who is caught up in the bondage of attachment, abhorrence, illusory attachment, and aasakti with sticky files in his very own home; how can he learn the word ‘love’? Here, in very simple language, Dadashri has given practical steps on where to begin in order to become the embodiment of love in one’s very own home (with the husband, wife, children, elderly, the housekeeper). Gnani Purush Dadashri says, “I have put down the weapons of anger, pride, deceit, and greed. I do not use them; I intend on winning the world over with love. I have only the weapon of love; I do not have anything else. To improve this world, or to be free from this world, there is only one key; that is love.” Pujya Niruma’s final message for all mahatmas was, “Everybody live with each other with love,” and moreover, she has asked mahatmas to give her a promise, “You will stay like that, won’t you? Promise?” Therefore, we definitely must fulfill that promise. Now, while remaining in Dadashri’s Agna, with the firm decision to become the embodiment of love with all living beings, we will progress as the Self; that is the only ardent prayer. ~ Jai Sat Chit Anand
Editor : Dimple Mehta , Printed & Published by Dimple Mehta on Behalf of Mahavideh Foundation Simandhar City, Adalaj - 382421, Dist-Gandhinagar. Owned by : Mahavideh Foundation Simandhar City, Adalaj - 382421, DistGandhinagar. Printed at Amba Offset B-99, GIDC, Sector-25, Gandhinagar – 382025. Published at : Mahavideh Foundation Simandhar City, Adalaj - 382421, Dist-Gandhinagar. © 2018, Dada Bhagwan Foundation. All Rights Reserved
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DADAVANI Dadashri has given detailed explanations for this Science in the Gujarati language and He has urged those who want to understand its depth fully, to learn the Gujarati language. While reading these translations of the Gujarati Dadavani magazine, if you feel there is any sort of contradiction, then it is the mistake of the translators and the understanding of the matter should be clarified with the living Gnani. In order to enhance the reading experience of the English Dadavani, a glossary with the translations of the Gujarati words used in the matter is available on https://www.dadabhagwan.org/books-media/glossary/ on the internet for readers. Please share your feedback about this change and the overall reading experience of the English Dadavani on engvani@dadabhagwan.org. Please note that ‘S’ Self denotes the awakened Self, separate from the ‘s’ worldly self or non-Self complex. The Self is the Soul within all living beings. The term pure Soul is used by the Gnani Purush for the awakened Self, after the Gnan Vidhi. The absolute Soul is the fully enlightened Self. The worldly soul is the self. In the same manner, ‘Y’ You refers to the awakened Soul or Self, and the ‘y’ you refers to the worldly self. Also note that round brackets are for translation purposes and square brackets are for clarity that has been added in English which is not originally present in Gujarati.
Live With Love…Promise? Love, a Word That Belongs to the Language of the Real Questioner: What is love (prem) in reality? I want to understand it in detail. Dadashri: That which is referred to as love in this world; people speak without understanding love. Would there be a definition for love or not? What is the definition of love? Questioner: Some call it attachment; some call it vatsalya (love for children, affection from a mother or father). There are many types of love. Dadashri: No. That which is truly referred to as love, there must be a definition of it, mustn’t there? Questioner: If I have no expectation of getting something from you, can we refer to that as real love? Dadashri: That is not love at all. Love does not exist in worldly life. It is something that is beyond the worldly (alaukik). Within worldly life, from the point one begins to understand the language of the alaukik (the real, the Self); that love unfolds. 4
Questioner: What is this thing called love that has been explained in this world? Dadashri: In this world, the word love belongs to the language of the Real, but it has been brought into worldly interaction. As it is, our people do not understand love at all. Prem, a Two-And-Half Letter Word… That is why the respected Kabir had said, ‘Pothi padh padh jag mooaa, pandit bhaya na koy, Dhhaai akshar prem ka, padhe sau pandit hoy.’ ‘The world has died studying books, not a single learned person has arisen, The one who studies the two and a half letter word of love, is indeed learned.’ If one simply understands the two and a half letters of the word prem (love), then it is more than enough. Otherwise, for those who read books, the respected Kabir has retorted severely, the world has died reading books, yet no one has March 2019
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become learned; simply for the sake of understanding the two and a half letter word prem. Yet the two-and-half letter word has not been attained and they have gone astray. So the fact that people keep referring to books, that is all madness. However, if one understands the twoand-half letter word prem, he becomes a scholar; that is what the respected Kabir has said. Have you listened to all of this discussion of respected Kabir? If there were love, then people would never separate. This is all in fact love with a selfish motive. Can love with a selfish motive be referred to as love? Questioner: Can that be referred to as aasakti (inner tendency inclined towards attraction that attaches)? Dadashri: It is indeed aasakti. Whereas real love is anaasakt yog (to remain detached from the non-Self). It is through anaasakt yog that real love arises. The Exact Definition of Love Questioner: Dada, what is love in actuality? I do not know that, please explain that. Dadashri: What is the definition of love? Oh, I, myself, was looking for the definition of love in childhood! I wondered, ‘What must love be? These people keep talking about love, so what must love be?’ So then I took a look at all the books, read all the scriptures, but the definition of love is not found anywhere. I found it strange that no scripture has given the definition of love! Then when I took a look at a book of the respected Kabir, my mind was appeased; he is the March 2019
one who has defined love. That definition was of use to me. He states: ‘Ghadi chadhe, ghadi utare, vah to prem na hoy, Aghat prem hi hriday base, prem kahiye soy!’ ‘That which increases one moment and decreases the next is not love, That which resides in the heart and never decreases is referred to as love!’ He truly defined it. I actually found this to be a beautiful definition, “I must say, respected Kabir, bravo!” This is the truest love of all. Can that which increases one moment and decreases the next be referred to as love? Questioner: Then what can be called real love? Dadashri: Real love is that which never increases or decreases! Our love, the love of Gnanis, is like this; that which does not increase or decrease. Such love of ‘ours’ exists for the entire world. And that love is in fact the absolute Self (Parmatma). Questioner: Nevertheless, love must exist somewhere in the world? Dadashri: There is no love at all anywhere. There is no such thing as love in this world at all. It is all nothing but aasakti. You will realize this immediately when you happen to say something wrong. If your brother has arrived right now from abroad, then today you would actually like to keep sitting with him. You would like having meals together and going out together. And on the next day, he tells you, “You have become worthless.” So it’s over! And if someone were to say 5
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the same thing to a Gnani Purush seven times, [even then he would respond with,] “Yes, brother, have a seat, you have a seat.” This is because the Gnani Himself knows that this person is not speaking, it is his ‘record’ that is speaking. This real love is such that there is no abhorrence (dwesh) associated with it. Where there is abhorrence associated with love, how can that love be referred to as love at all? There should be continuous love. The World Has Not Seen Love Questioner: So real love is that which does not increase or decrease? Dadashri: Real love is always that which does not increase or decrease. Whereas in this case, if you love someone and if you ever happen to swear at him, then a fight would ensue with him, and if you were to shower him with flowers, then he would cling on to you once again. Questioner: In worldly interaction, it is bound to increase and decrease; that is just the way it is. Dadashri: The love of these people certainly increases and decreases throughout the day, doesn’t it! It certainly fluctuates with their children, everyone, doesn’t it! With relatives, it fluctuates everywhere, doesn’t it! Oh, it even keeps fluctuating for one’s own self, doesn’t it! One moment, he looks in the mirror and says, “Now I look good.” A moment later, “No, I don’t look proper,” he will say. So love fluctuates even for one’s self. It is simply because the liability is not understood that all this arises, doesn’t it! How great a liability! Questioner: Isn’t that why these 6
people say, “Cultivate love, cultivate love!” Dadashri: But this is not love at all, is it! This is all worldly talk. Who would refer to this as love? The love of people, which fluctuates, is all aasakti, nothing but aasakti! There is nothing but aasakti in the world. The world has not seen love. Love Exists Where There Is No Selfishness Questioner: Love that does not fluctuate, what is its real form like? Dadashri: It does not fluctuate, it does not increase and it does not decrease. Questioner: How does love not increase or decrease? Dadashri: Whenever you look, the love appears as it always is. Where there is no selfishness, pure love exists over there. When is there no selfishness? It is when where there is no ‘mine’ and ‘yours’. When is there no ‘mine’ and ‘yours’? When one does not prevail as the self with a body or when there is Gnan (Knowledge of the Self), then there is no ‘mine’ and ‘yours’. Without Gnan, there certainly is ‘mine’ and ‘yours’, isn’t there! A mother has tremendous love for her children, and in comparison to all other loves, that love is worth praising. There is sacrifice in that. There is sacrifice in that love of the mother in many ways, but even in that, if the child suddenly takes something that the mother likes, then if the two of them fight, then the love will fracture. The son will move out. [He will say,] “Mother, I will not be able to live with you.” Therefore, this cannot be referred to as love at all, can it! Love that never fractures, that is called love! March 2019
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It does not fracture [in circumstances] in which it could fracture, and it does not increase nor does it decrease. Questioner: That which has no ups and downs. Dadashri: How can that which increases or decreases be referred to as love? Sometimes it increases, decreases. If that love decreases, then it results in abhorrence (dwesh). And if it increases, then it results in attachment (raag). As it is, this is actually worldly love. People keep meaninglessly singing about love. In fact, would love exist even towards one’s wife? These are all selfserving relationships, whereas a mother lives out of illusory attachment. Because the baby is born from her own womb, illusory attachment arises in her. And illusory attachment arises even in a cow, but the cow’s illusory attachment lasts for six months. Whereas for the mother, the illusory attachment does not leave even when the child is sixty years old. The Difference Between Illusory Attachment and Love Questioner: What is the difference between illusory attachment (moha) and love (prem)? Dadashri: The moth hovers around the flame and sacrifices its life in it, doesn’t it! It destroys its own life; that is referred to as illusory attachment. Whereas love lasts. Love is durable, it is not illusory attachment. Illusory attachment means a useless life! It is the equivalent to being blind. It is the equivalent to a blind man who wanders around like the moth and takes a beating. March 2019
Whereas love is durable, it actually has the outlook of long-lasting happiness. It is not such that it has the outlook of instant gratification, is it! Therefore, these are all indeed illusory attachments, aren’t they! Illusory attachment means overt betrayal and blows! Illusory attachment turns out to be one hundred percent betrayal. Questioner: But how can an ordinary person know, ‘This is illusory attachment,’ and ‘This is love’? How can a person himself know whether the other person’s is real love or illusory attachment? Dadashri: It is actually realized automatically when you scold the person. One day, if you scold the person and the person becomes agitated, then you will know that it is useless! Then what will be your condition? Instead, ‘rattle’ [chide the person] from the very beginning. Just as when you rattle a coin to test its authenticity, you would immediately know whether it is authentic or a counterfeit, wouldn’t you? Find some excuse to scold the other person. Nowadays, there is nothing but tremendous selfishness! One even feigns love out of selfishness. But you should test it out one day to see whether it is real love or not. Questioner: What is it like when there is real love, even when someone scolds [the person]? Dadashri: Even if someone scolds him, that person will remain calm so as to not cause harm to the other person. Where there is real love, the person will absorb it. Yes, even if the other person is completely devious, he would even absorb that. 7
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The Types of Love Questioner: So then how many types of love are there, what are they like, please explain all that! Dadashri: There are only two types of love. One is that which fluctuates; when it decreases, it is referred to as aasakti, and when it increases, it is referred to as aasakti. And the other is anaasakt prem (love that is free from aasakti), that which does not fluctuate; the Gnanis have that. The love of the Gnani is pure love (shuddha prem). Such love is not witnessed anywhere else. Wherever you look in the world, that is all love with a selfish motive. The love between a husband and a wife, of a mother and a father, of a father and a son, of a mother and a son, of a boss and an underhand, everybody’s love is with a selfish motive. It is understood that it is with a selfish motive when that love fractures. As long as sweetness prevails, none of this is perceived, but when bitterness arises, then one realizes it. Oh, for his entire life, a son may have remained in complete obedience with respect to his father, and just one time, in anger, under the given circumstances, if the son tells the father, “You do not have any sense,” then their relationship gets torn apart for life. The father will say, “You are not my son, and I am not your father.” If it is real love, then it remains the very same forever, whether you swear at the other person or he fights with you. How can love aside from this be called real love? Love with a selfish motive is itself referred to as aasakti. That is love that is like a retailer and a customer, it is give and take. The love of the world is actually considered aasakti. 8
When one likes to continuously remain with the other person, that is called love. One likes everything the other person says. There is no action and reaction in it. The flow of love remains constant. There is no increase or decrease, no inflow (puran) or outflow (galan). Aasakti inflows and outflows by nature. The Difference Between Aasakti and Love Questioner: Please explain the difference between prem and aasakti! Dadashri: Love that has become distorted (vikrut), that itself is called aasakti. This world is distorted; in that, the love that we refer to is considered distorted love, and it can indeed be referred to as aasakti. The love that arises should be such that it does not fluctuate. If the very same love happens to fluctuate, then it has become aasakti. Just as with health, if the very same health goes up or down, then it is referred to as disease! In the same way, the very same love that fluctuates is referred to as aasakti. ‘Our’ love does not fluctuate. Your love fluctuates, that is why it is referred to as aasakti. At times, when love fluctuates with those whom you have a karmic account, then You [the awakened Self] should Know it. Now love should not fluctuate. If love has increased in excess, even then it is referred to as aasakti, and if it has decreased, even then it is referred to as aasakti. Aasakti Through the Attraction of Parmanu What can this be compared to? Say there is a magnet and there are some March 2019
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tacking pins lying around, then if you do this with the magnet [move the magnet over them], then will the pins move about or not? They will. If you place the magnet close by, then the pins will stick to it. From where did aasakti arise in the pins? Similarly, there is a property [similar to that] of magnetism in this body. This is because the electrical body exists within. So electricity exists on the basis of this body. Hence, the property of magnetism arises in the body. So where a person comes across someone with parmanu (the smallest, most indivisible and indestructible particle of matter) that are compatible with his own, attraction (aakarshan) arises, whereas there is nothing for other people. Our people refer to this attraction as raagdwesh (attachment-abhorrence). They will say, “My body is getting pulled.” Hey, if you do not desire it, then why is the body getting pulled? Therefore, who are ‘you’ in that case? Even if you tell the body, “Don’t go,” it will still get up and getting going. This is because it is composed of parmanu, so this is the pulling of parmanu. This body gets pulled when it comes across compatible parmanu. Otherwise, why would the body get pulled if you did not desire it? The body gets pulled, to which the people of this world say, “I have a lot of attachment towards this person.” We ask, “Hey, do you have the desire to get pulled?” To which one replies, “No, I do not desire it, yet I end up getting pulled.” So then this is not attachment. This is actually the property of attraction. However, as long as one does not have Gnan, it cannot be referred to as attraction. This is because such a person believes, ‘I indeed did this.’ And if a person has Gnan, March 2019
then one simply Knows, ‘The body has gotten pulled through attraction and I have not done anything.’ So when the body gets pulled, the body becomes mobile. All of this is indeed the attraction of parmanu. This mind-speech-body are aasakt (inclined towards attraction that attaches) by nature. The Self is not aasakt by nature. And the fact that this body becomes aasakt is akin to the magnet and pins. This is because no matter what type of magnet it is, it will not attract copper. What does it attract? Yes, it will attract iron alone. It will not attract brass. So it will attract that which belongs to its own category. Similarly, the parmanu that exist in our body are magnetic, they attract those of the same type. They attract parmanu that are of the same nature. A woman may get along with her deranged daughter-in-law, but not with her sane sister, even if she inquires after her. This is because the parmanu are not compatible. So even with the son, there is merely aasakti. The parmanu match. There are three parmanu of yours and three parmanu of his; when parmanu match in this way, aasakti arises. If there are three of mine and four of yours, then they have nothing to do with each other. So all of this is in fact a science! This aasakti is a property of the body; it is a property of parmanu. What is it like? It is like the relationship of a magnet and pins. The body gets attracted to parmanu that match the body; that is aasakti. Aasakti may actually be above and below normal too. Love (prem) is within normality, it is indeed constant. There is 9
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no change of any sort that takes place in it. Aasakti is aasakti of inanimate matter (jada), there is not an iota of the Self (Chetan) in it. For oneness that remains in worldly interaction, there is also a reason behind that. That is a property of parmanu and aasakti, but there is no telling what will happen at which moment. As long as the parmanu are compatible, attraction remains, so oneness remains. And when parmanu are incompatible, then repulsion takes place and enmity arises. Therefore, where aasakti exists, enmity definitely exists. Awareness of what is beneficial and what is harmful is not found in aasakti. There is complete awareness of what is beneficial and what is harmful in love. This is in fact the science of parmanu. The Self has nothing to do with it. However, out of wrong belief, with the attraction of parmanu, people believe, ‘I got attracted.’ The Self never gets attracted. Illusory Beliefs Versus Reality It is in fact because of the attraction like that between a needle and a magnet that you feel, ‘I love this person, that is why I am getting attracted.’ But that is not anything like love at all. Questioner: So don’t these people realize whether it is love or not? Dadashri: Everyone would understand love. That which even a one-and-ahalf-year-old child would understand, that is called love. Everything else is actually aasakti. Love that does not increase or decrease under any circumstance is called love. Besides, how can this be called love at all? This is actually illusion (bhranti). 10
It is a word that stems from the language of illusion. So where does aasakti exist? It is where one has an expectation of reciprocation. And where there is aasakti, accusations will not refrain from arising. That is the nature of aasakti. When aasakti arises, accusations keep on being made, such as, “You are like this and you are like that.” “You are like this, and you are like this”; you don’t say such things, do you? They don’t say such things where you are from, or do they? They do! That is due to aasakti. In worldly life, it is indeed due to these fights that aasakti arises. In this worldly life, fights are in fact vitamins for aasakti. If there are no fights, then one can become free from attachment and abhorrence (vitaraag). So the world has seen everything, but it has not witnessed love. And what the world refers to as love is actually aasakti. All of this interference arises from aasakti. Attachment and abhorrence always arise in aasakti. In worldly language, they refer to aasakti as prem! So other people say the same thing, they refer to that as prem. The entire worldly language has become that way. Attachment, Abhorrence, and Love Questioner: Then please explain the two words, love (prem) and attachment (raag). Dadashri: Raag is something that pertains to the non-Self (paudgalik), whereas love is the real thing. Now, what should love be like? That which March 2019
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does not increase or decrease; that is called love. And that which increases and decreases is referred to as raag. So the difference between raag and prem is that if it increases in excess, then it is referred to as raag, so then one becomes trapped. If love increases, then it results in raag. If love decreases, then it results in abhorrence (dwesh). So that cannot be called love at all, can it! That is in fact attraction (aakarshan) and repulsion (vikarshan). Therefore, what our people refer to as prem, the Lord refers to that as aakarshan. Questioner: Is love or illusory attachment just as dangerous as abhorrence? Which of the two is more dangerous? Dadashri: Abhorrence is more dangerous than worldly love. Love carries a lesser liability, because love is born out of abhorrence. Abhorrence is the seed. The seed of love is actually abhorrence. Love is not the seed of love. The seed of love is actually abhorrence. Do you understand? You may have love towards everyone at home, but if abhorrence does not arise within you, then realize that the seed will not be sown again. And if abhorrence arises, then the seeds will be sown again and again. People believe that the world is being sustained through love. However, this world is not sustained through love, it is sustained through enmity (ver). There is no foundation of love at all. It is sustained on the foundation of enmity, the very foundation is that of enmity. Therefore, let go of enmity. That is certainly why ‘we’ tell you to settle off enmity! This is indeed the reason for settling with equanimity. March 2019
This World Will Be Won Over Through Love If you win by reprimanding someone, then that is not considered winning. Besides, it will all get solved through humility (namrata). What does it mean to settle with equanimity? It means to bring about a solution. Accede or through any other means, bring about a solution. You should accede based on your ability. Bring about a solution even by acceding; settle with equanimity. Through what will a solution come about? Questioner: Humility. Dadashri: Yes. The Lord was so wise, Lord Mahavir! In the past, the grand Chakravarti (the highest monarch in the human world) and Tirthankar Lords (absolutely enlightened Lords who can liberate others) had emerged; despite reigning as a Chakravarti, even if a small child would reprimand them, they would still be joyful and talk to him. This is because they want to go towards freedom, they want to go to moksha (final liberation). Do they have the desire to sit around with these people again? Would one’s own objective be in one’s awareness or not? One’s goal would definitely be in one’s awareness, wouldn’t it? For that reason, a solution should be brought forth. Otherwise, if he [the other person] gives in at that time, he does not give in [internally], but he holds on to it inside. You will not be happy having suppressed someone. Let him be free. Maintain the feeling of love with him. This world will be won over through love and the type of love with aasakti is unwelcome. Love that increases and decreases is unwelcome; it should be constant. If good thoughts arise 11
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today, even then there should be love, and if he returns having drunk alcohol the day before yesterday, even then there should be love. This is because the unfolding of his karma traps the poor guy, why should you stop having love for him? And if you have anything besides love, then you will get trapped. Do not interfere in the unfolding of anyone’s karma. Nurture the Plant with Love Questioner: If someone is doing something wrong in worldly interaction, then I have to give that person a cautionary hint, and he feels hurt by that. So how should that be settled? Dadashri: There is no problem in giving him a cautionary hint, but you should know how to do it, shouldn’t you! You should know how to say it, shouldn’t you? him?
Questioner: How should we tell
Dadashri: Say you tell your son, “You have no sense, you are an idiot.” If you speak like this, then what would happen? Does he also not have an ego? If your boss were to tell you, too, that, “You have no sense, you are an idiot,” then what would happen? You should not speak like this. You should know how to give a cautionary hint. Questioner: How should a cautionary hint be given? Dadashri: Sit him down. Then tell him, “We are civilized and respectable people, we are not uncivilized. We cannot do such things.” If you explain to him like this and speak to him lovingly, then things 12
will fall into place. Otherwise, if you scold him left and right, is that acceptable? You should ask him, “All of this that you are doing, do you think it is appropriate? Did you think before doing all of this?” If he responds, “No, I don’t think it’s appropriate,” then you should ask him, “Son, then should you do such a useless thing? Think over it a little and tell me!” They are all capable of judgment, they all understand. If they have done something wrong, then they indeed realize it. But when you criticize him that, “You are a fool, you are an idiot. Why did you do this?” Then on the contrary, he becomes insistent that, “No, what I am doing is definitely correct, get lost.” Then he will misbehave. Results are not obtained without doing it with love. Even if you want to raise a plant, if you nurture it with love, then it will grow very well. But if you merely water it and scream and shout, then nothing will happen, if you want to raise just one plant! If you say, “Oh, the plant has grown nicely,” then it feels good! It even yields nice big flowers! So then there must be such a large effect on humans! How Can the One Full of Weaknesses Improve Others? The environment of the one who has love is beautiful! Children will not move away from there for three whole hours. If there is someone distributing sweets outside, then they would not go to eat the sweets and they would remain sitting here. What is the reason for this? The atmosphere is beautiful, it is full of love, it is such that everyone finds it agreeable. However, these people have no March 2019
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awareness of this point in this era of the time cycle, do they! Create such an atmosphere that the children would not like to leave, such that they witness nothing but your love at home. Then they will accept your values. If you want to improve (soodharvu), then ‘improve’ (soodharo – also means to chop) the vegetables, but do not improve (soodharo) the children! People know how to chop vegetables. Do they not know how to chop vegetables? Questioner: But then Dada, what should I do? Dadashri: If what you say does not produce results, then you should keep quiet. You are foolish, you do not know how to speak, so you should stop talking. What you say does not produce results and on the contrary, you lose your peace of mind and spoil your life to come. Who would do such a thing? The current times are such that not a single person can be improved. How can a person improve others when he himself is full of faults? When he himself is made up of weaknesses, would he be able to improve others? For that, strength of character is needed. So only love is needed. Questioner: What is the definition of someone who is ‘improved’? Dadashri: Even when you scold the person, he will still see the love behind it. Even when you rebuke him, he will still see the love you have, that, ‘Wow! My father has so much love for me!’ You may rebuke, but if it is done with love, then he will improve. March 2019
Carry Out Inner Efforts, in a Subtle Way Questioner: The technique you showed us today of improving someone, so if I follow that technique, then will the person improve faster, or will he improve when the time comes? Dadashri: He will improve faster, your efforts should persist. However, those efforts of yours which create reactions, you should not engage in such efforts. If you scold him, then he will feel bad. That effort is not considered effort. You should carry them out from within, in a subtle way. If you are not good at carrying it out overtly, then do so in a subtle way. Otherwise, do not scold him too much, but say a little, such as, “This does not suit us.” Make one statement and then remain silent; keep your words under control. You definitely need to say something, but there is a way of saying it. So for that, your love is needed. You may scold him, but if you scold him with love, then he will improve. The Way to Improve the World: Love If all of this needs to be improved, then it will improve through love. All of these people I improve, I improve through love. ‘We’ speak only with love, don’t ‘we’! Because ‘we’ speak with love, things do not get spoiled, and if ‘we’ speak with the slightest of abhorrence, things get spoiled. If yogurt culture has not been added to milk, and if it has simply been exposed to a bit of air, even then that milk will turn sour. So with love, everything can be said. A loving person can say anything. So what are ‘we’ trying to convey? The entire world is indeed yours if you become 13
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the embodiment of love. Wherever there is animosity, slowly transform it into love. It is because of animosity that this world appears rough. Just look, the embodiment of love exists here, nobody feels offended in the slightest and what joy everybody revels in! If you want to improve even five people of this world, then you will be able to improve them with love. Otherwise, no one has improved anyone; not a single person has improved. As long as one, himself, has not improved, how can he improve others? And aside from becoming the embodiment of love, nothing is going to improve. There Is No Expectation in Love Questioner: Are there any expectations in the love that you are talking about? Dadashri: Expectation? There is no expectation in love. There is love towards the one who drinks alcohol, and there is also love towards the one who does not drink alcohol. Love is without expectation. Questioner: In love, what is the other person’s behavior like? Dadashri: If one does not receive any kind of happiness from you, if he continues to receive only pain, even then if he takes care of you with love, then know that this is so great! He only receives pain from you, he does not actually receive happiness, but he had imagined receiving happiness from you, he had that expectation, that expectation does not get fulfilled, even then he cultivates love. No Fault Is Seen In Love Questioner: Besides the fact that 14
love does not increase or decrease, please explain some more about love, Dada. Dadashri: Fault is not seen at all in love. Whereas how many faults do people actually see? “You are like this and you are like that.” Hey, you were saying it is love? Where did the love go? So, it is not love. These girls choose a husband, they scrutinize and choose him, and then do they not fight? Is it true that they fight? So that cannot be called love at all, can it! Love is actually permanent. Whenever you look, the love is the very same. It appears the very same, that is called love, and solace can be taken there. As it is, you may have love towards her, but one day when she is sitting around sulking, then to heck with your love! Throw it down the drain. Of what use is the love of a person who goes around with a scowl on her face? What do you think? Questioner: That is true. Dadashri: There should be the kind of love that one never has a scowl on his or her face. That love is found with ‘us’. There should be the kind of love that even when the husband scolds her, the love does not fluctuate. When the love increases when he buys her diamond earrings, that too is aasakti. So this world keeps on functioning through aasakti. Where There Is Love, There Is No Intense Mental Note Questioner: It is the same between a husband and a wife, isn’t it? They say, “I want you. I love you,” but then they fight. Dadashri: That itself is called aasakti. There is no stability there; there March 2019
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is no telling where it is and where it will end up! The great lovers! A man with true love would not let go of her all the way up to the time of death. In whatever happens, no intense mental note (nondh) is taken. Where there is love (prem), there is no nondh whatsoever. It is not possible to have both love and an ‘ledger book’. If you keep a ‘ledger book’ of, ‘He did this and he did that,’ there is no love there. ‘We’ have so many mahatmas here but there is no nondh of anyone. No matter what they may end up doing, even then there is no nondh. There is no nondh externally, nor is there a nondh internally. Otherwise, tension would arise even if there were no cause for it. On the contrary, whether you come at night or at any other time, ‘we’ are free of tension! So there is no hassle at all! Even when ‘our’ health is not good, they all say, “Dada is laughing!” Hey, he laughs because there is no tension! So do not get involved in anybody’s affairs. Tension will arise even if you get involved in excessive interference (panchat) with regard to this body that, ‘This part has this problem and this part has that problem!’ Questioner: ‘Where there is love, there is no nondh’; this is a very grand statement. Dadashri: Yes, love in which nondh exists is not love! The love of this world is with nondh. When one says, “He said this to me today,” then how is that love? If it is love, then there should be no nondh. Otherwise, it will become aasakti. Love that fluctuates is called aasakti. This world will not refrain from making a nondh, will it! They may not say it to your face, but in their minds they think, ‘He told me off March 2019
the day before yesterday.’ One keeps that in mind, doesn’t he? So there definitely is a nondh with the person, isn’t there? The one who does not have nondh has real love! ‘We’ simply do not make a ledger entry, so how would such a ledger book even exist? If there is a ledger entry, then there would be a ledger book. Now you should throw away the ledger entry. And give it away to some other businessman. It is not worth keeping a ledger entry! Questioner: When a nondh is kept that, ‘You said this to me, you said that to me,’ then likewise the love gets fractured. Dadashri: Yes, but one would not refrain from making a nondh. Even the wife would keep a nondh, wouldn’t she? Must your wife not be keeping a nondh? Questioner: Dada, everyone keeps them. However, it is possible to wipe them out through Gnan, by doing pratikraman, isn’t it? Dadashri: No matter how much you try to wipe them out, even then nothing will change. Once a nondh is made, nothing will change by attempting to wipe it out. The nondh may weaken a little, but one will not refrain from making a comment, will he! No matter what this man here may do, or no matter what changes may take place in you, even then ‘we’ do not make any nondh of it. So ‘we’ do not have any interference at all of any kind, do ‘we’! Does Dada ever have a nondh about you? Questioner: Never. Dadashri: Yes, there is no nondh of anyone. 15
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Questioner: So is that considered pure love?
Pure Love Manifests Through Non-Insistence
Dadashri: Yes, it is considered pure love. So, you will never be disliked by me. You will always be dear to me. If you had done wrong the day before yesterday, I have no concern with it. If I keep a nondh, then there will be problems, right? I know that your weakness has not gone away, so mistakes are bound to happen!
So when can one become the embodiment of love? It is when one does not look for rules and regulations. If you look for rules, then you cannot become the embodiment of love! If you ask, “Why are you late?” then you cannot be considered as the embodiment of love and when you become the embodiment of love, then people will listen to you. Yes, who would listen to you if you possess aasakti?
There Is Vastness in Love You have confined your love to your wife and your children, whereas my love is extensive. Questioner: Can love be so confined (sankuchit) that it remains limited towards just one individual? Dadashri: That which is never confined is called love. If it is confined to a certain area, then it is considered as aasakti. What is that confinement like? Say there are four brothers and all four of them have three children each, and they all live together; so as long as this is the case, everyone in the home says, “Ours, ours.” Everyone will say, “Our glasses broke.” However, when the four brothers separate into their own homes, on the very next day, if they separate on Wednesday, then on Thursday they will speak completely differently, “That is yours and this is mine.” In this way, constriction (sankuchitata) creeps in. So the love that flourished in the entire home has now become divided, so it became confined. Then as a street, as an association of youths, the love is intact in those cases. Otherwise, where there is love, there is no constriction, there is vastness. 16
So, where love is not visible, the path to liberation does not exist at all. If you do not know the right thing to say, yet even then a person maintains love, only then is it true. So firstly, there should be honesty, and secondly, there should be the kind of love that does not fluctuate; these are the two places where God resides. This is because where love exists, where there is sincerity, purity; God exists only there. When the entire relative department is transcended, then one becomes absolutely independent (niralamb); that is when love emerges. Where is real Knowledge found? It is where work is achieved through love. And where there is love, there is no give or take. Where there is love, there is oneness. Where there is a fee, there is no love. People charge a fee, don’t they; they charge five or ten rupees, don’t they? They say, “Come here, if you want to listen here, then there is a fee of nine rupees.” Therefore, it has become a business! There is no love there. Where there is money, there is no love. Secondly, where there is love, there are no tricks, and where there are tricks, there is no love. March 2019
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Wherever one has slept, he will have insistence for only that. If one sleeps on a mat, then he ends up having insistence for that, and if one sleeps on a Dunlop mattress, then he has insistence for that. For those who are insistent upon sleeping on a mat, if you have them sleep on a mattress, then they will be unable to fall asleep. Insistence is itself poison and being free from insistence is itself nectar. As long as one does not attain the state of being free of insistence, the love of the world will not be acquired. Pure love manifests from being free of insistence, and pure love is itself the absolute God (Parmeshwar). In the Power of Love, Authority Is Absent The other person’s ego does not arise at all. ‘Our’ [the Gnani Purush’s] voice is not authoritative. Therefore, there should not be authority. When you speak to your child, your voice should not be authoritative. Questioner: Yes, you had said that we should stop talking before the other person shuts us out. Dadashri: Yes, that is true. You should stop talking before you get shut out. If it gets to the point that he has to shut you out, that is considered foolishness on your part. It should not be like that. And I have never used an authoritative voice. So there should not be an authoritative voice. An authoritative voice must be expressed as long as the child is small. “Be quiet, sit down.” Even in such a situation, I display only love. I intend on winning them over with love. Questioner: The power of authority does not compare to the power of love, does it? March 2019
Dadashri: No. However, love will not open up for you, as long as that rubbish [inner weaknesses] does not clear away. Are you clearing out all the rubbish or not? They have such beautiful hearts! You should not interfere with those who are heartily, you should be kind to them. If you wish to interfere, you may interfere with those who have a lot of intellect. If you wish to raise a plant, then you should not keep scolding it, such as, “Do not grow sideways, grow big flowers.” You should keep nourishing it with fertilizer and water. A rosebush is so affected by it, whereas these children are humans. Yet parents may even beat them, hit them! Always, it is only through love that the world improves. There is no other solution for it. If it could improve through fear and authority, then these governments would get rid of democracy and imprison whoever breaks the law and hang him. The world only improves through love. All Faults Are Overlooked in Love It can be said that a gain has been made with the family members when they feel love towards you, when they do not like it without you, and they keep on feeling, ‘When will he come?’ People get married, but there is no love there, it is nothing but an inner tendency inclined towards sexual attraction that attaches (vishay aasakti). If it were love, then no matter how many differences they have, the love would not recede. Where love is not present, that is referred to as aasakti. Aasakti is [the equivalent of] a toilet! In the past, there used to be so much love that when the husband would go abroad and not return, then for her entire life, the 17
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wife’s chit would remain only on him, she would not remember anyone else at all. These days, if the husband does not return within two years, then she will remarry! How can this be called love? This is actually a toilet, just as a person goes from using one toilet to another! That which empties is considered a toilet. In love, there is actually surrendering! Love means the fire of intense devotion has been lit. The person keeps getting remembered all day long. Marriages end up in two ways; sometimes they prosper, whereas sometimes they end in disaster. Love that overflows subsides once again. That which overflows is aasakti. Therefore, stay away from that which overflows. The devotion (lagni) should be for what’s inside. Even if the external packaging gets ruined, deteriorates, the love remains the very same. As it is, if you have burns on your hand and you tell your husband, “Clean it for me,” then he will respond, “No, I can’t look at it!” Hey, the other day you were caressing her hand, and why is there such a reaction today? How can there be such repulsion? Where there is love, there is no repulsion and where there is repulsion, there is no love. Even worldly love should be such that it does not entirely increase nor does not entirely decrease. It should be within [the limits of] normality. Love should exist everywhere. Only love should prevail in the entire home. Where there is love, no one finds fault. Faults are not seen in love. Whereas this is not love, it is egoism. There is the awareness of ‘I am the husband.’ It is considered love when it does not seem like a fault. No matter how many faults 18
there are, in love, one overlooks them. Do you understand? Questioner: Yes, sir. Dadashri: So if a mistake is made, then let it go for the sake of love. If you have love for your son, then you will not see his mistakes. There may be faults, there is no problem with that. Love overlooks everything. It overlooks everything, doesn’t it? To Sacrifice the self Is Real Love Even when something like love existed, it existed in Satyug (era of the time cycle that is characterized by unity in thoughts, speech, and action). It was good in Satyug. In Kaliyug (current era of the time cycle, which is characterized by lack of unity in thought, speech, and action), people are so strange; they go and select a good husband, one who is very handsome, and then if he turns out to be bitter, then the entire life of the poor girl gets ruined. If she has not prepared good food on just one day, then would the husband be loving or would he create a fuss? No, he would start up a fuss, he would say, “You have no sense, and you are like this, you are like that.” Every day, when her cooking is great, he does not give any award, and if the food does not turn out good for just one day, then she is done for! So, it is not like love. It is not love at all; it is all selfishness! Where there is excess love, dislike indeed arises; that is human nature. When you are ill, you grow weary with the very people you love. You won’t like them. You have to tell them, “Get away from here, go away.” If one has maintained good worldly March 2019
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interaction with his wife, even then when will I say that he is a wise man? If their relationship began at fifteen years of age and it remains the very same the age of eighty years, if the love remains the very same, it does not decrease, then I will say that he is a wise man. As it is, when her limbs appear weak, he keeps getting irritated. Oh, if she gets a boil, would he take her out with him? Would he not take her with him to see a movie? What about when she has gotten burned here and pus is oozing out? So, one does not want to understand all of these liabilities and he wants to love! Here comes the big lover! It is considered love when they are together in all kinds of situations. If her hand has been burned, it is as if his hand has been burned; when it is like that, then it is considered love. If she has gotten a boil, then it is as if he himself has gotten it. If you have gotten a boil, then would you go out or not? So then if your wife has gotten a boil, then would you not take her out with you? So, the love in which one sacrifices his self, he does not look out for his ‘safe-side’ and sacrifices his self, that love is real. That is a difficult thing these days. Questioner: What can such a love be called? Can it be called exclusive love (ananya prem)? Dadashri: This can be referred to as love in worldly life. This does not fall under aasakti and it gives a very elevated result as well. However, to sacrifice oneself in this way, this does not happen, does it! Rather, people maintain their own ‘safeside’ and then proceed. And how many men and women are there who do not put themselves first? March 2019
As a matter of fact, they get caught up in aasakti on the way to the movies. And on the way back, he tells her, “You have no sense.” And she responds, “You are not so wise yourself.” They have such a conversation on their way home. He seeks out sense [in her], whereas she looks for wisdom [in him]! Pure Love Is Altogether a Different Matter ‘Ghaat vinana nirmal premni, Pandar kshetroma feli jo suvaas…’ ‘The fragrance of pure love without selfish motives, Has spread over all fifteen realms of existence…’ - Navneet All of you go forth and learn about love that is without a selfish motive; that is worth learning. As it is, everyone does maintain love, but love without a selfish motive is a different thing altogether, isn’t it! All these people maintain love, do they not? But if they were to simply remove the selfish motive from within, then what would happen? Fragrance would spread over the fifteen realms of existence; this is what Kaviraj states. If you remove all the selfish motives from within, then what remains? Pure love (nirmal prem) remains! Why should a thought such as, ‘This man will be useful to me,’ even come to your mind? For some, even if nothing has happened to them, when a doctor comes, they will say, “Come in doctor, come in!” In his mind, he will think, ‘He will be useful to me someday!’ Hey, when will you become sick, and when will you meet this doctor 19
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again? For how long is he going to be helpful to you? Oh, if one meets a cook on the street, one will say, “Hey, come, come!” Hey there, why do you keep calling him over him so much? He will respond, “Someday, if I am in need of a cook, then I can call him over!” What selfish motives they have! They are talking as if they do not have to leave from here [this world]! They are talking as if they are not going to be carried away to the funeral pyre, aren’t they? Why do you keep selfish motives when you are going to be taken to the funeral pyre? When one is going to be taken to the funeral pyre, can there be selfish motives? “He will be of use someday!” Hey, how can ‘someday’ exist in a world in which you will be taken to the funeral pyre? You will be taken to the funeral pyre after a few days! The doctor for whom you have expectations will leave from here, yet people still see that, ‘This doctor is useful, this lawyer is useful!’ Do people not do this? Yes. Even if a businessman comes, one will say [to himself], ‘Yes, he is useful.’ So one will say, “Come come, sir, come.” [One thinks,] ‘Someday, if I ask him for a hundred rupees, then I will get it.’ People keep addressing you simply out of selfishness, don’t they! It is all love with a selfish motive; it should not be this way. Pure unadulterated love! Besides that, you should not hope for anything else at all. What can one expect from these human beings with two arms? Have you seen human beings with five arms anywhere? In fact, they run if they have to go to the toilet; what expectations can you have towards them? Oh, even a high20
ranking officer would rush to the toilet if he has loose motions! Hey, you are an officer, why don’t you slow down! He will respond, “No, I have the runs.” So there is nothing that should be expected from you, you are not at all a person from whom one can expect anything. What can you expect from him? Is it worth maintaining these selfish motives? What do you think? Questioner: It certainly is as Dada is saying. Dadashri: Yes, so clean it all up, if there is still anything that is a bit unclean! Keep it clean at home too. Love with a selfish motive is not wanted. [The intent that,] ‘Of what use will this be for me,’ should not be there. The Vision (drashti) towards the pure Soul is itself love. Then if your wife develops big warts over here, even then conflict will not arise in your mind. Otherwise, as long as her face appears attractive, affection remains towards her, and when warts form over here, then agitation arises. Does that happen or not? Questioner: Yes, it happens, aversion arises. Dadashri: Oh, loathing arises, loathing! Now everything has become full of selfish motives. Let go of it all, do not have selfish motives for anything. If someone gives you something on his own accord, then it is well and good, otherwise do without it, why don’t you! Why have selfish motives for these worldly things? Looking at a woman with a sexual intent and having a selfish motive are one and the same! A father has selfish motives towards March 2019
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his son, and the son has selfish motives towards his father! Do selfish motives not exist even in the home? So this is all nothing but with selfish motive. This is the only place that is without selfish motive; that is why everyone experiences unity (ekata) here. Where selfish motive does not exist, the absolute Self certainly exists. God maintains a distance from selfish motives. That is why joy arises for everyone here, everyone feels unity. Real Love Is Actually Found Near the Gnani The world believes aasakti to be love and thus becomes perplexed. A wife has needs from her husband, and the husband has needs from his wife; all of this has arisen indeed due to needs. If the needs are not met, then everyone within begins shouting, they attack. No one in worldly life has become one’s own even for a minute. No one can become one’s own. It is actually when an issue arises that one will realize this. It is when the father scolds his son for one hour, that it becomes evident whether the son is his own or not. He even gets ready to attack. Moreover, what does the father say? “I have earned this money on my own. You will not get a penny of it.” Then the son responds, “I will get it from you one way or another.” Can there be any sense of belonging to oneself in this? The Gnani Purush alone becomes one’s own. Do not maintain the hope of getting love from your husband, and if he maintains the hope of getting love from you, then he is a fool. You should only focus on what needs to be done! Do you March 2019
try to make a home out of a hotel? When you go out for a cup of tea, you pay the bill and return! In the same way, you should get done what needs to get done. Having said this, there is no such thing as love in this at all. Do not seek out love in this worldly life. Love does not exist anywhere. Love is actually found near the Gnani Purush. Questioner: Please explain further about the nature of the real love of the Gnani. Dadashri: ‘We’ look through just one vision, real love. Take this man, for instance. ‘We’ do not look at his ‘foreign department’; ‘we’ examine the ‘home department’. With regard to the ‘foreign’, someone’s may be rotten, someone else’s may even be good, someone else’s may be bad. Someone may be like a Ratnagiri Alphonso mango, someone may be like a Langra mango. ‘We’ do not get into any dispute. ‘We’ have a relation with the ‘home department’, ‘we’ have a relation with the person’s pure Soul. If he has any problems, then if there is any maneuver ‘we’ can employ, then ‘we’ will do so. Questioner: Dada knows whether it is real love or false love, but how would we know? Dadashri: However much false love [aasakti] you have, that many people will continue to come into your contact. And they will adhere to you with attachment and abhorrence. As long as you have a balance [of aasakti], this balance will keep issuing forth, and if you do not have any balance [of aasakti], then that balance [of people] will not meet you. 21
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From Where Can One Get Real Love? Questioner: So how can real love be attained? Dadashri: From where would real love be attained? As a matter of fact, it is only after the ego and my-ness (mamata) depart that love exists. Real love does not exist unless the ego and my-ness depart. Real love means something that has arisen from vitaraagata (state of total absence of attachment and abhorrence). One becomes vitaraag after becoming free from duality. Dvaita (belief in duality between God and the Self) and advaita (belief that the universal Soul and the individual Soul are one) are in itself duality. Those who follow the advaita philosophy keep having thoughts about dualism. “That is dualism, that is dualism, that is dualism!” So on the contrary, dualism actually takes hold. So the state of non-dualism is a good one. However, once one travels a distance of a hundred-thousand miles from non-dualism, thereafter the state of vitaraagata will arise, and after the state of vitaraagata arises, love will arise within, and that love that arises is the love of [the state of] the absolute Self (Parmatma). Absolute Vitaraagata Is Love Indeed Questioner: Dada, a conversation had come up that, “The Vitaraag Lords have enlightened Vision (Darshan), not love; that is why ‘I’ am a khatpatya vitaraag (fully detached One, who meddles for the sake of salvation of others). Thus, when I became the embodiment of love, absolute vitaraagata did not arise.” I wanted to understand that a little. So, is the embodiment of love and absolute vitaraagata the same thing? 22
Dadashri: There is only love in absolute vitaraagata. What is love? When the inner intent does not spoil in the slightest towards anyone; that is called love. Complete vitaraagata, that itself is called love. Questioner: Nobody’s fault is seen? Dadashri: There is no question of faults; they know that faults are not to be seen, but even if the other person does wrong, the love does not decrease in the slightest extent. The embodiment of love means that when there is vitaraagata, there is the embodiment of love. However much vitaraagata there is, one has become the embodiment of love to that extent. Questioner: No, but in that conversation there were two points, they were different. It was that, “For the Vitaraag Lords, it is referred to as Darshan, whereas for ‘us’ it is referred to as love. It cannot be referred to as vitaraagata for ‘us’.” Dadashri: Yes, vitaraagata means that ‘our’ love is such that it is visible, whereas the love of the Vitaraag Lords is not overtly visible. However, only their love can be considered as real love. Whereas ‘our’ love is visible, but that cannot be considered as real love. That cannot be considered as what is known as pure love in exactness. Pure love in exactness is when One becomes completely vitaraag. Whereas ‘our’ [state] is considered as the 14th day of the moon (chaudash), it is not the ‘full moon’ (poonam) state yet. Questioner: So the One who has attained the complete state has even more love than you? March 2019
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Dadashri: Only that is real love. Here, there may even be weakness in some areas. Therefore, the One who has attained the complete state has real love. Questioner: Dada, it is not possible to be a complete Vitaraag and not have love, is it? Dadashri: [Such a person] Cannot be without love, can He! Pure Love Is Experienced When Abhorrence Is Uprooted Questioner: So might love have been explained in the context of aversion to abhorrence (dwesh)? Dadashri: Aversion to abhorrence has happened to you too. From the moment we give Gnan, aversion to abhorrence happens; one becomes free from abhorrence (vitadwesh). Then he has yet to become vitaraag. Questioner: Then where does love come in this? Then where does love fit in here? Dadashri: However much one has become vitaraag, that much love arises. The absolute Vitaraag has absolute love!
but that is in belief (shraddha), meaning in vision (darshan). And secondly, it has come into experience (anubhav) too that (the world) is indeed flawless. It has come into experience one hundred percent. It is only through pure love that diseases and wounds continue to heal. That love never decreases. The [feeling of] security of that love is of a different kind altogether. The security of alaukik prem (love that is not of the worldly kind) is very different indeed, that [feeling of] security is indeed different. Love is actually the greatest of things. The State of the Absolute Self Manifests Where Pure Love Exists Pure love is such a thing that it is not ‘effective’ to the slightest extent with anyone. Sentiment is non-living (jada); that is why it is ‘effective’. Pure love is living (chetan) and it is ‘uneffective’. Who do you become dazzled by? Questioner: By someone who exhibits real love. Dadashri: No, but anywhere else, at home, or anywhere else you go?
Questioner: Does absolute love exist where there is absolute vitaraagata?
Questioner: I do not become dazzled by anyone; I only become dazzled by someone like you, Dada.
Dadashri: So all of you have indeed become free from abhorrence. Now you will gradually become vitaraag, in every aspect. For each experience that one has, he becomes vitaraag in that matter. A person may continue to become vitaraag with each experience, but he might have such inner tendencies (vruttio) that he has not attained complete vitaraagata. The entire world appears flawless (nirdosh) to me,
Dadashri: ‘Ours’ is pure love; that is why it affects people, it benefits people; otherwise it would not benefit [them] at all, would it! On the rare occasion when the Gnani Purush or Lord is around, then [people] witness love. There is no fluctuation in that love, it is anaasakt. The love of the Gnanis is itself the absolute Self (Parmatma). Real love is itself the absolute Self, no other thing is the absolute
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Self. Only where real love exists does the state of the absolute Self manifest! So the pure love of the Gnani that is visible, it is overtly visible, that itself is the absolute Self. The absolute Self is not anything else. The pure love that is visible, that which does not increase, does not decrease, that which remains only constant, that is known as the absolute Self, the exposed, unconcealed absolute Self! Whereas Gnan is the subtle absolute Self, it takes time to understand that. So, the absolute Self does not need to be sought after outside. Love exists from the Gnani Purush all the way to [the level of] God (Bhagwan); they have the license to love. They make people happy simply through love. Moreover, they bind them only through love, it is not possible to become released from that. From the Gnani Purush all the way to the Tirthankars, all of them possess love. Alaukik prem, in which there is no hint of anything worldly! Pure Love Overflows With the Dissolution of the Ego Questioner: These days, everyone in the world is making vain efforts for pure love. Dadashri: This is indeed the path of pure love. This Science of ours is devoid of any desires of any kind. Therefore, this path of pure love has arisen. Otherwise, such a path would not be found in this era of the time cycle. But it is indeed a wonder that it has arisen in this era! As long as the ego is present, pure love would never arise, would it! The ego and pure love cannot coexist. When does pure love arise? Pure love begins to arise 24
from the point the ego begins to dissolve, and when the ego completely dissolves, one becomes an idol of pure love. The idol of pure love is itself the absolute Self. Over there, your salvation happens in every aspect. It is impartial; there is no partiality. It is beyond the scriptures. At the end of the four Vedas, the Veda itself states, ‘This is not that, this is not that.’ It is the Gnani Purush that says, “This is that! That’s it!” The Gnani Purush has pure love, so he gives the Self right away. Pure love and pure justice (nyaya); He has these two attributes. When there is pure justice in the world, then know that God’s grace has showered. I have Only the Weapon of Love Questioner: The feelings that awaken for you within us, what are those? Dadashri: It is actually ‘our’ love that grabs hold of you. Real love can grab hold of the entire world. Where does love exist? Love exists where there is oneness. It is considered aasakti when one desires to acquire some worldly thing. It is when there is the motive for some worldly thing. Yearning for real happiness will actually be beneficial; there is no problem with that. There is no problem with the love that prevails for me. That will help you. Love that is being spent in other, diverted places will disappear. Questioner: So are the feelings that arise in us actually the result of the love in your heart? Dadashri: Yes, it is indeed the result of love. Therefore, people become wise merely through this weapon of love. I do not need to scold them. March 2019
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I do not wish to reprimand anyone. I have only one weapon, of love. I intend on winning the world over with love. This is because I have laid down the weapons of anger, pride, deceit, and greed, so I do not utilize them. The world retaliates wielding these weapons. That which the world understands is actually worldly love (laukik prem). It is actually called love if when you swear at me, I do not become depressed, and if you shower me with flowers, I do not become elevated; that is called love. In real love, there is no change at all. There may be a change in the facial expressions and body language, but not in pure love. Even when people are physically attractive, they appear unattractive due to the ego. When do they appear attractive? It is when they become love incarnate (prematma). At that time, even an unattractive person appears attractive. It is only when pure love manifests that one begins to appear attractive. What do people of the world want? Unattached love (muktaprem), in which there is no scent of selfishness or ulterior motive of any sort. This is actually the law of nature, natural law! This is because love itself is the absolute Self (Parmatma). Become Sincere to the Real Questioner: I have understood this point well, that the experience of the love that comes from the heart of the Gnani Purush, only that is love, there is no other love besides that. Dadashri: It is due to illusion (bhranti) that these people refer to aasakti as love. That which increases and March 2019
decreases is aasakti; that is considered attachment and detachment. That which does not increase or decrease is love, and that itself is love of the absolute Self, that is called pure love. Pure love is regarded as love of the absolute Self. Questioner: Now we wish to generate such pure love within us. Dadashri: When the world appears as flawless (nirdosh), then love will arise. This feeling of ‘mine’ and ‘yours’ exists as long as you consider others to be different. As long as there is separation (bhed) with the other person, it feels as if these people are ‘mine’. As a result, those you have attachment towards are considered to be ‘mine’, and those you have detachment towards are considered as outsiders. Such a person would not remain as the embodiment of love with anyone. So the embodiment of love, this love, is an attribute (guna) of the absolute Self. So there, all of one’s pain (dukh) is forgotten through that love. Therefore, once one is bound by love, nothing else remains to be bound. Always remain sincere to the Gnani Purush, to the Self, to the real. And remain ‘truly’ [superficial with respect] to the body, to the false belief that ‘I am this body’ (dehadhyaas), with all of that. Dada Imparts the Teachings of Love One should gradually become the embodiment of pure love with everyone. Questioner: What does it mean to become the embodiment of pure love? Dadashri: If a person has just left after insulting you, and then he comes to you, even then your love does not decrease; that is called pure love. One 25
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should learn the teachings of this kind of love, that is all. You do not need to learn anything else. You should have the kind of love that ‘we’ point out.
are convinced now that you have found the path of liberation, aren’t you? Are you convinced or you saying it because you are feeling bashful towards ‘us’?
Questioner: Yes, Dada, I need to learn the teachings of love.
Questioner: Yes, yes, I am convinced.
Dadashri: That is all. What is considered love? It does not increase towards the person who showers you with flowers and sometimes if someone says to you, “Chandubhai, you have ruined this of mine,” then it does not decrease. Learn such a teaching of love now; that is all. You do not need to learn anything else. You should have the kind of love that ‘we’ are pointing out and that love itself is the unconcealed absolute Self. Someone may ask, “Is the absolute Self visible?” Then ‘we’ say, “Look at love.” Love that does not increase, that does not decrease, that is the absolute Self. That love is itself the absolute Self. Is the absolute Self visible or not? It is formless (aroopi), but is it visible or not? It is such that no worldly thing can attach or bind to it (niranjan), but is it visible or not? Questioner: It is visible. Dadashri: Yes, learn that love now. By the time this life comes to an end, everything will be encompassed, it will be complete, won’t it? Questioner: Yes, it has all been encompassed. Dadashri: Yes, everything will be encompassed. Only one lifetime (avatar) should remain, and that too, for the sake of enjoying merit karma. If one has followed ‘our’ Agna, tremendous merit karma will accumulate from that. As it is, a lot of you 26
Dadashri: Are you telling the truth? The debts of infinite lifetimes, if those debts are to be paid off in one lifetime, then what would need to be done? You should pursue it, you should continue to be persistent behind the words spoken by Dada, behind Dada. If Dada is not around, then follow the Agnas given by Dada. You should persist at it and pay off the debt in one lifetime, the debt of infinite lifetimes. The debt of how many lifetimes? Until now you have taken infinite births, haven’t you; the debt of all of those. Will these need to be cleared off or will they not? Live With Love…Promise? This is a completely different matter! This man is able to follow ‘our’ Agna. His sister is not able to follow all of them; some of it falls short. She will be able to follow them gradually. She certainly will achieve it; it will be accomplished. Questioner: Yes, Dada. Dadashri: She will reach the destination for sure. Provided she remains this way…and if some day, if she does wrong, then she will even go in the wrong direction. Only her mother does not say anything. She does not say anything to her, does she? Questioner: No. Dadashri: And if you and your father, if both of you speak like this, then how would she feel? What do you think? Questioner: That is correct, Dada. March 2019
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Dadashri (to the sister): If you maintain love, then it is good, a lot of my grace will be bestowed upon you. Questioner: I will maintain it, Dada. Dadashri: Decide from today. Questioner: Yes, Dada. Dadashri (to the brother): [1] Do you want to maintain love towards her or not? Say it out loud! Questioner: Yes, I will maintain love, Dada. Dadashri: You should not see whether she maintains love or not. Questioner: I should maintain love, that is true. Dadashri: You understand, don’t you? This is the only way to win over love. Questioner: Dada, you said to maintain love towards her, so I should see her as pure Soul, I should not see her faults; I should maintain that, shouldn’t I? Dadashri: Not like that, [2] if someone were to scold her right now, then you would retaliate, wouldn’t you? Questioner: Yes. Dadashri: What is that considered? That is considered love. That is your love towards her. Questioner: Yes. Dadashri: A lot of love would be felt. [3] If you love her, then if she says something offensive, then you should understand that, her nature [the filled stock of her non-Self complex] is a little like this. So you should maintain only love towards her. March 2019
Questioner: Yes, I understand. Dadashri: [4] Right now, what if the two of you go out after having divisiveness due to difference of opinion, and if someone starts to speak negatively about her? Questioner: I would speak siding with her. Dadashri: Even then, you remain on her side; that is love. Will it happen in accordance with what ‘we’ have said? Dada.
Questioner: It will surely happen,
Dadashri: Will it happen one hundred percent? Questioner: Yes, one hundred percent, Dada. Now Become the Embodiment of Love When does love arise? Apologize for the mistakes that have happened with the other person up until now; that is when love arises. Niruben: Dada, it is very easy to ask for forgiveness. Dadashri: Will you like this point of mine? It would be liked if it is understood. Niruben: Dada, I want to be free, that is why I like it. Dadashri: Do you want to be free or do you want to become one (abhed) with Dada? Niruben: I mean I do not want to be free from Dada, I want to be free from my own faults. That is why I like it, Dada. I want only constant oneness with Dada. Dadashri: Oneness with Dada 27
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means liberation is at hand, liberation is guaranteed. Niruben: Yes, that is with Dada. Dadashri: That other way, no matter how profusely you ask for forgiveness, even if you fall at the other person’s feet, it is useless. Do in accordance with Dada’s Agna, that, ‘There is not a single fault of anyone else, but because I saw it, it was my fault.’ Whoever wants to love somebody should do it in this way, then love will arise within. Do you want to [awaken] love or not? Questioner: Yes, Dada. Dadashri: It should be my way. The way I have ‘swum’ across, I help you swim across. Did you like this? Dada.
Niruben: Yes, I felt much lighter,
Dadashri: You will awaken love, won’t you? When you become the embodiment of love, there is oneness with the other person. For the most part, this is how it happened with ‘us’. ‘We’ have opened up this method. Oneness Is Itself Love Love is to not separate with anyone. Love is to not create separation. Love is that in which oneness has been established. That love is considered normality. If separation exists, then one becomes pleased when the other person does something good. And then a short while later, if the other person does something unsuitable, if he drops some teacups, then one will get irritated. So it keeps becoming ‘above normal’ and ‘below normal’. The one with love does not look at the other 28
person’s actions; he looks at the Self within that person. Love means, ‘All this is indeed ‘I’, ‘I’ am visible in all.’ Otherwise, ‘you’ will have to be spoken. If ‘I’ is not visible, then ‘you’ is visible. Either one of the two will certainly be visible, won’t they? In worldly interaction, ‘I’ and ‘you’ should be spoken. But only ‘I’ should be seen! Did you understand this point of view? This is something that is of a different kind. And one should become a visible body of love (premmurti). There is a sense of oneness with everyone, no difference is felt at all. One will claim, “This is yours and this is mine.” But does ‘yours’ and ‘mine’ exist when you depart [this body]? So, it is due to this disease that there is a sense of separation. When that disease departs, one becomes the visible body of love. What does the embodiment of love mean? It means to see everyone with the sense of oneness (abhed bhaave), to act with the sense of oneness, to move about with the sense of oneness. To only uphold the sense of oneness. To get rid of beliefs along the lines of ‘this person is different’, that itself is called the embodiment of love. It feels as though it is just one family. So, when is it considered to be oneness with the world? It is when one becomes the embodiment of love (prem swaroop) that it is considered oneness with the entire world. So there, nothing else can be seen, except for love. That love has manifest within me. There are so many people who are living solely on this love of ‘ours’! Continuously, “Dada, Dada, Dada!” So love is like this! ~ Jai Sat Chit Anand March 2019
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Place of Publication : Simandhar City, Adalaj, Dist - Gandhinagar, Pin - 382421 Periodicity of Publication : Monthly Name of Printer : Amba Offset, Nationality : Indian, Address : B-99, GIDC, Sector-25, Gandhinagar – 382025. Name of Publisher : Dimple Mehta on behalf of Mahavideh Foundation, Nationality : Indian, Address : Simandhar City, Adalaj, Dist - Gandhinagar, Pin - 382421 5. Name of Editor : Dimple Mehta, Nationality : Indian, Address : same as above. 6. Name of Owner : Mahavideh Foundation (Trust), Nationality : Indian, Address : same as above. I, Dimple Mehta hereby declare that the above stated information is correct to my knowledge and belief.
sd/Date : 15-03-2019 Dimple Mehta on behalf of Mahavideh Foundation (Signature of Publisher) March 2019
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Atmagnani Pujya Deepakbhai's UK Satsang Schedule (2019) UK: + 44-330-111-DADA (3232), email:info@uk.dadabhagwan.org Date
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03-Apr-19
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Aptaputra Satasang
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11-Apr-19
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SATSANG Aptaputra Satasang SATSANG Small Swami Pratishta GNAN VIDHI SATSANG UK SHIBIR
Venue Indian Association Oldham Schoefield Street, Hathershaw, Oldham, OL8 1QJ Maher Centre, 15 Ravensbridge Drive, Leicester, LE4 0BZ Hariben Bachubhai Nagrecha Hall, 198-202 Leyton Road, London, E15 1DT Harrow Leisure Centre, Christchurch Avenue, Middlesex Harrow, HA3 5BD Pre-registration required
Satsang & Gnan Vidhi Programs in the Presence of Pujya Deepakbhai Surat 18 May (Sat), 8 to 11 pm - Satsang & 19 May (Sun), 5-30 to 9 pm - Gnan Vidhi Venue : Indoor Stadium, Opp. Lords Convent School, Nr. Meghdoot Society, Athwa Lines, Surat. 20 May (Mon), 8 to 11 pm - Aptaputra Satsang Venue : Gandhi Smriti Bhavan, Timaliyawad, B/h. Mahavir Hospital, Nanpura. Ph : 9574008007
Vadodara 27 May (Mon), 7-30 to 10-30 pm - Satsang & 28 May (Tue), 7 to 10-30 pm - Gnan Vidhi 29 May (Wed), 7-30 to 10-30 pm - Aptaputra Satsang Ph : 9924343335 Venue : Akota Stadium, Akota, Vadodara.
Spiritual Retreat in Hindi at Adalaj Trimandir - Year 2019 8 to 12 May - Spiritual Discourses (Satsang) 9 May - Special program on occasion of Pujyshree's Birthday 11 May - Self-realization Experiment (Gnan Vidhi) Note : This retreat is specially for Non-Gujarati Hindi Speaking people in India.
PMHT Shibir at Adalaj Trimandir 5 to 9 June (Wed-Sun) - Time to be Announced This shibir is specially arranged for married mahatmas only, for those who have taken Atmagnan. 30
March 2019