Issuu

Robin McAuley p. 4

Earth to Ashes

From the City of Roses to your playlist, Earth to Ashes is a local Portland, OR band with a huge sound and talent that should not be contained in the Pacific NorthWest.

With a sound reminiscent of Iron Maiden or classic Queensryche, Earth to Ashes is claiming their rightful spot in the NorthWest metal scene. p. 24

Jamie Paulus

Spokane’s music scene is alive and thriving; this month, Jamie Paullus, always our eye in the city, brings is 3 Pill Morning and Black Veil Brides.

Page 34

Sherry Keith

In conjunction with our interview of legendary singer Robin McAuley, Mystic Photography takes us on a pictorial tour of his show: Raiding the Rock Vault.

Page 12

Cover Photo by Sherry Keith

A letter from CV WorldWide Magazine…

This past month, rock icon, musician extraordinaire, and “man with the HAIR”, Wayne Richard Wells, better known to the world and his fans as Wayne Static, passed away suddenly at age 48. The outpouring of sympathy, support, and love from his fellow musicians, to Wayne‟s family, his band, and his lovely wife Tera Wray Static, was incredible; but to this day, the music world mourns the loss of one our own, taken from us suddenly and for seemingly no reason.

Wayne was a friend to CV WorldWide, and especially Mystic Photography‟s Sherry Keith...we join people everywhere in saying “Wayne, your time here was too brief, but boy did your star shine brightly…”

To all those close to Wayne, our sincere condolences and prayers are with you in this time of loss. To Wayne...Godspeed our friend, you will always remain on our playlist…

the Pres & Sherry K

CV WorldWide: Tell us what you’re doing these days, what musical projects are you involved in?

Robin McAuley: As one of four (4) singers I perform in Las Vegas @ The New Tropicana in a “Classic Rock Show” called Raiding The Rock Vault. Shows are Friday through Wednesday @ 9pm. Go to www.raidingtherockvault.com for pics and update info.

Before that McAuley Schenker Group (MSG), Survivor, Grand Prix, Far-Corporation, GMT, Bleed.

CVWW: Tell us about the beginning, what was the catalyst behind you diving into music?

RM: I grew up in the Ireland and while surrounded by the great traditional sounds of Irish music which I love, I always found myself listening to Motown. Great melodies, lyrics and just great voices. I was big on the Four Tops, The Temptations etc. Just great music.

Then I discovered Paul Rodgers and FREE. This guy could really sing and with the same soul

and passion that I loved when listening to Motown; great melodies and great guitar riffs that were and still are unforgettable. I wanted to be a great rock drummer and played drums in small bands for a number of years. Occasionally singing background vocals, I was later convinced that I should be singing lead. Not something I had set my mind on and even to this day always wish I had been that drummer.

CVWW: Do you think you got your musical ability from your mother and her accordion? Growing up around horses, did you ever thing to follow your father’s path instead?

RM: Funny thing about that accordion! My Mother was very good at playing the accordion and being one of a row of houses close to the nearest Pub, many people would spill out after closing time and end up at OUR house where the music continued. (Not an unusual occurrence in all parts of Ireland after closing time). I kinda grew to dislike that instrument over time. :)

Now of course I think very differently and wish I had learned to play it like my older Brother Jim and my Sister Joan. I'm sure I inherited my Mothers music ability but I‟m just not an accordion player. Ha!

I was forever around the stables with horses as a young lad. My Father brought many an Irish Thoroughbred into this world during his lifetime. He was also a soldier and fought the Germans in the trenches. I lost him to a road accident when I was only 13 (Thirteen).

I still miss him greatly. I was in the Irish National Guard so I followed that path. Won Trophies for sharp shooting and was an acting corporal for a time.

CVWW: Interesting that you starting major effort as a cabinet maker, tell us about that focus and of course, your eventual decision to abandon that for music, what was the catalyst?

RM: One of my uncles had a woodturning business in the city of Dublin. As a kid out of school, trades were always encouraged by parents with the idea that, if you had a trade you would always have work! Hmmm!!!! Anyway I had an interest in architecture but was offered an apprenticeship after Technical College. There I landed and studied Cabinetmaking and Chairmaking; reproduction period furniture mostly. Queen Anne, Regency, Chippendale etc.

I was out playing the clubs as a drummer during this time in addition to my time in the National Guard.

I headed to London some years later and the sound of music just got louder and louder!!!

CVWW: And once in England, you were convinced to be a singer instead of a drummer…was that a big change for you, how did you accept that advice?

RM: I was only in London about two months, and was literally thrown on stage in the local pub by my brother-in-law. I sang something or other and was soon approached by the band to come sing with them. I gave them the whole drummer thing but ended staying with them for about two years. Played every pub and club in London worth playing and got paid for same. A winner all round. :)

It was in this local Pub in West London that I was approached by members of who would later become Grand Prix.

CVWW: Alright, fast forward to Germany, and (eventually) MSG. Tell us about the meeting with Michael Schenker - do I hear it right that you actually met once and refused an invite before joining him?

RM: Michael Schenker came to see Grand Prix perform at a club in London. With him was the late and great Cozy Powell (Drums), Andy Nye (Keys) Chris Glenn (Bass).

Cozy's press agent called me the next day and said Michael really liked my voice, and invited me to the studio where MSG was rehearsing. Grand Prix was set to tour that same week to support my first CD with the band “There for None to See”! I declined the offer of MSG due to tour commitments. I received some bad press as a result of me declining the offer. :)

“Young Irish Upstart refuses offer to join MSG!!!”

CVWW: But the second time you met, when you accepted the gig, what changed your mind?

RM: Four years later I was on a promotional tour for Far Corporation (German studio project) in England. We had released a remake of “Stairway to Heaven” which went to #8 on the English charts and went on to sell 2 million sales. MSG management contacted me and arranged a meeting to set up an audition. Rudolf Schenker heard the song on radio, and Michael now looking to form a new lineup, was on the hunt for me. I was once again reluctant to proceed given Michael's reputation but I flew into Hanover in Germany and in Rudolf's studio met Michael and we worked endless hours on songs, some old and some new material. A week after returning to London Michael called me and asked me to join but as his equal partner in the band? He said Rudolf, Klaus Meine, and management agreed I should be his new frontman.

CVWW: Michael Schenker became “McAuley Schenker” - whose idea was that?

RM: Explaining he needed someone he could trust and rely on, he also pitched the idea of a new name. I told him I loved the MSG logo and changing it would be a recipe for disaster. He had already given it some thought it seems, and decided that because of the lettering and our name initials we could still keep the MSG logo except Michael (M) should be McAuley and the rest as they say!!!!!

We began writing together and wrote about 10 songs or so. Recorded at Rudolf's with Rudolf

producing. We were signed to EMI not long after and appeared at the “Monsters of Rock” in Germany with Iron Maiden, Def Leppard, OZZY, Bon Jovi and more.

We released our first “MC AULEY SCHENKER GROUP” CD “Perfect Timing”, and was the first appearance Michael had had on MTV with the release of „Gimme Your Love’, our first single from that CD.

CVWW: Alright, fast forward to your success in the USA…tell us about the Headbanger’s Ball hosting experience, and how did that come about?

RM: Riki Ractman was the host of Headbanger‟s Ball and I believe McAuley Schenker were the first to appear on the show! This was a big step for MSG as Michael had little to no exposer at TV or Radio in the US.

CVWW: You toured with Def Leppard & RUSH in support for “Perfect Timing”, but very soon after you move to headlining your own dates…what allowed that decision to me made, how did you make the leap from opening act to headliner?

RM: I guess it‟s the usual progression once you release something new - the opening slot on a big and highly successful record from Def Leppard with maximum exposer and large audiences. It‟s also important for the Label to get in touch with the bands fan base for marketing etc. Headlining gave us the opportunity to build our own followers not forgetting that Michael Schenker is one of the most revered rock guitarists ever. UFO has such a huge following so we'd perform a number of UFO tunes in our set and people would go ape shit, not

having seen either Michael or UFO perform for quite a while. It was awesome….

CVWW: “Save Yourself” was a smash hit follow up, and you’re now touring with Great White & Whitesnake - all heavy hitters in the 80’s hair metal scene - how crazy was it, really?

RM: Power ballads were the staple of a lot of the 80's bands. We released the single “Anytime” from the “Save Yourself” CD and it was well received at radio and MTV. Gaining some ground the opportunity came to tour with Whitesnake, which was incredible as they also had amazing exposer at MTV right at the same time. It was planned to tour all of Europe with Whitesnake but due to some issues Whitesnake only toured England which we did with them. We returned to the US and toured the “Blues and Boogie” tour with Great White.

This was such great time to tour. Audiences were crazy and you never saw so much hair in your life including my own :) I think a lot of that FUN element is missing today!!!

CVWW: The list of people with whom you’ve played is incredible and represents the pantheon of rock musicians - what lessons have you taken from those times?

RM: I find myself constantly learning. When you meet the likes of say Glenn Hughes,

Jon Anderson, Lou Gramme, Paul Rodgers, Bobby Kimball, Micky Thomas, Rob Halford, Bruce Dickenson, Joe Elliott, Jimi Jameson (RIP) Ripper Owens, Jon Bon Jovi, Ozzy (YES OZZY), David Coverdale, AND the great ROBERT PLANT himself, etc. etc. All very different styles but one common goal, to mesmerize and make you sit up and listen, And to perform on the same stage with all the above. Man 'O Man!!! In awe, honored and extremely humbled for sure. Makes you feel incredibly small.

CVWW: Do you think you’d do anything different up to this point, give the wisdom of time?

RM: Always room for improvement of course, but I‟m so so grateful for everything.

CVWW: How do you think you’ve grown as a band and as musicians?

RM: Respect is very important. Be honest and kind to those around you. No need to be arro-

gant, it's a bad trait to have and gets you nowhere.

CVWW: What would you tell a younger version of yourself?

RM: Get out while ya still can! Ha! Seriously though, do your best and try to be the best at what you do BUT have fun doing it! It makes it that much easier and don't take yourself too seriously.

CVWW: What advice would you give to young musicians today?

RM: Pretty much the same as above. Learn the business early so you don't get ripped off! Careful what you sign and who you sign it with.

CVWW: Okay, on to Sin City and Raiding the Rock Vault…tell us how the idea came about and how you became involved. Do we read right that the first show was in LA, not Vegas? How did the process come about where you took the show to Vegas then?

RM: John Payne (ASIA) called me to discuss singing on a few tracks at his studio in Glen-

dale, CA. He filled me in on this idea from Simon Napier Bell (YARDBIRDS, WHAM, GEORGE MICHAELS) and Sir Harry Cowell who had managed ASIA and worked with STING. It was to be a Classic Rock show covering a period of the 60's70's- and 80's.

He asked if I was at all interested should it come about, to which I replied “Yes!” We recorded a number of songs and some months later, got the call again about performing a showcase at “The Mayan Theatre” downtown LA. This took place in November 2012.

Come January 2013 Sir Harry called me together with John and told me about been offered to perform the show at THE LVH in Vegas.

CVWW: What can fans expect to see at a Raiding the Rock Vault show?

RM: Fans have seen to date some 370 shows and love it. #1on Trip Adviser for the past year. Best show in Best of Las Vegas. Moved from The LVH/Westgate to the New Tropicana on the strip.

The story of Classic Rock taking you through some 30 plus songs in 2 Hour show. With HD Video and a State of the Art Light Show. Stories with vignettes performed by actors and dancers throughout. and of course the live band.

Guitarist and MD of the show, Howard Leese, (Heart & Bad Co) - Guitars, Doug Aldrich, (Whitesnake & Burning rain), Drums - Jay Schellen (ASIA), Keys - Michael T Ross (Lita Ford & Missing persons) Bass - Hugh McDonald (Bon Jovi) - Vocals - Paul Shortino (Rough Cutt & Quiet Riot), Vocals -Andrew Freeman (Lynch Mob, Offspring), Vocals - Carol-Lyn Lyddle, (Masters of Rock), Vocals - Stephanie Calvert (Starship), Vocals - Robin Mc Auley (Mc Auley Schenker, Survivor)

CVWW: Given its popularity, do you foresee any expansion in the US, or maybe overseas?

RM: Touring has been discussed but no plans as yet that I am aware of.

CVWW: Who do you count as your musical influences?

RM: Paul Rodgers. Lou Gramme.

CVWW: What other bands do you listen to dur-

ing downtime and relaxation, what’s on YOUR music player?

RM: Literally everything. Depends on my mood. I listen to it all as long as it has melody.

CVWW: What motivates you to keep improving, to keep expanding your horizons as a musician?

RM: There's still much to do. Writing is the best way to stay in the now provided it's heard of course. I'm still hoping to get that big movie soundtrack. One can only keep trying, right!!

Tell us about a particularly memorable show that really made it all worthwhile for you - any show, any time.

RM: That's a relatively easy one to answer. Lou Gramme, being one of my all-time fav' influences, spent a week as special guest of The Rock Vault. Every night he performed “I Wanna Know What Love Is” especially his last night, I got really emotional. Here's my hero, the voice I can listen to forever and learn so much from, and here I am singing background vocals with him on this beautiful song that was a huge hit for Foreigner. Everyone is singing along including this awesome choir we had called in especially for his performance. Unforgettable!!!

CVWW: Now, tell us about a show that made you think “damm, is this really worth it?”

RM: Hmmmm!!! This is the music business. Remember what advice I gave earlier. Learn the business and try not to get ripped off? There are egos out of control. We all have them. If you keep this in mind and be prepared for occasional disappointments it can be of enormous help. Doesn't make it better, just easier…..

CVWW: Any REALLY crazy stories you are willing to share in our pages?

RM: The first record from FARCORPORATION “Division One” was an instant top 40 chart success. The "Stairway to Heaven" remake reached #8 in England and sold over 2 million singles. With many TV appearances FarCorporation was in everyone‟s living room. The debut of the single was on the "Thomas Godshalk Saturday Night Show" and had a viewing audience of 80 million. It so happened that Robert Plant was also on the show that same night. You can imagine the awkwardness of him seeing the black and silver backdrop with the very large words “STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN” on it. He stared me down until I directed him to the Producer. He really liked our version and we ended up laughing and drinking

quite a lot that evening.

We're talking Robert Plant here folks!!! That's pretty crazy in my book!

CVWW: Let’s talk about the music industry today...and social media...music distribution is much different now, do you see that as progress? The ability to market/sell individual songs, does that benefit the industry as awhole?

RM: Social Media, yea!!! Use it, it's free most of the time. Record, post the link and voila! Instant access….

The Major labels still work well for the Major Artist's. Great!! But what about the little guy with great music and no means to get to “that” major label? Home studios and recordings have for a very long time filled that gap. Thankfully.

Sounds awesome, right? Cost's very little after equipment purchase. Post to YouTube, Facebook, on your own web page. Do your own packaging and mercy. Now wait for all this likes, invite them to shows and sell your music there. In person. Some Indie labels are also good for lesser known bands. It's usually all about $$$

CVWW: What is it about your music that you feel appeals to fans?

RM: Hell I don't know! I'm just happy that there are people who listen to it and like it. That they relate in some ways to it lyrically or just like the melody. It's kool either way and I thank everyone who has ever listened and mentioned it to their friends and their friends. Keep listening please. I love you all….

CVWW: Do any of your songs speak to you on a deep personal level?

RM: While penning each one of them my head was for sure in a particular place at that time. Life brings many new gifts and surprises. Experience and heartache, happy or sad, we learn a lot and manage to somehow press forward only to come out the other end with only a few cuts and bruises. If we're lucky...

CVWW: Where do you think you are in your musical journey?

RM: Right now, in my hotel room at the New Tropicana, Las Vegas, trying desperately to finish this before showtime. Ha!!!

CVWW: Given your incredible accomplishments and musical road, is there really anything left for you to achieve?

RM: I have a beautiful wife, Gina. Two awesome twin boys, Jamie and Casey, what an achievement for me... So Happy!!!!!

CVWW: Okay, what’s in store for the remainder of 2014 and into 2015? Any other big projects are in the works?

RM: Maybe, but for that you have to stay tuned……

CVWW: Any final words you would like to convey to your fans and our readers?

RM: From the bottom of my Irish heart, thank you all so very much for the years you have listened to my music and indeed all the wonderful music made available to us. Be well always and if you have a wish or a dream, then follow it closely and with perseverance.

Stop to pray sometimes and say thank you always. Don't take anything for granted. Give because you want to and not for the glory of others else you'll be disappointed.

Love like it was your last… Much LOVE to you all

Robin McAuley

Gilbert

German Shepard

Australian Cattle Dog

3 years old

Male

81 Pounds

My adoption fee includes: microchip, neuter, free exam, reduced-cost training class, 1 month pet health insurance, leash/collar, food sample, toy & treat packet.

Certified Pre-Owned: an Overview

Certified Pre-Owned (CPO) cars are essentially top-quality, inspected used cars backedbymanufacturers'warranties.

Youmayhavenoticedthatmanyvehicles formerly known as "used" are now termed "Certified Pre-Owned" or "CPO." These programsoriginatedintheLuxurycategorydueto the high rate of off-lease vehicles populating the market in the recent past. Because these vehicles were in great shape and had lower mileage, manufacturers took aserious interest in ensuring that they delivered a positive purchase and ownership experience. As a result, they began to "refurbish" these vehicles and addwarrantiesandspecialfinancing.

What are some of the features of a CPO vehicle program?

A variety of organizations have jumped on the Certified Pre-Owned bandwagon, including dealers and several third-party suppliers.

Most certified used vehicle programs:

 Include only vehicles that are under 5 years

 Havemileagelimitsoflessthan100,000

 Useonlyvehiclesthathavehadnomajor bodyworkfromprioraccidents

 "Refurbish"thevehicleafteramulti-step inspection

 Provideanextendedwarranty

Additionally, some programs offer:

 Consumercashincentives

 Lowinterestloans

 Leaseprograms

 Anexchangepolicy

Certified Pre-Owned Pros and Cons

Duringthesehardeconomictimes,credit is a lot harder to get than it used to be. Shoppers whowouldordinarilyhavesearchedfora new car might no longer qualify for a loan of that size. Fortunately, they have a less-costly alternative:theCertifiedPre-Owned(CPO)car. Regular used-car buyers also are tempted by CPO vehicles, which reduce some of the inherent risk. No usedcar is perfect, but certified models undergo a comprehensive, pointby-point inspection. Certified Pre-Owned cars alsoincludewarrantycoverage.

Some people simply won't be satisfied withanythingthat'snotnew.Othersarewholly content with used cars. They're willing to take on the possibility of dealing with a few problems.

Pro: Certified cars produce "peace of mind"

Asenseofsecurityisthemainattraction of purchasing a Certified Pre-Owned model. Like new-car buyers, folks who drive home a certified used car shouldn't have to worry aboutbreakdownsandcostlyrepairs.Although it's secondhand, the certified used vehicle is a late-modelthat'sbeeninspectedpriortocertification.

Nearly all manufacturers offer

a certification program, backed by the factory. Other programs are established by the dealer or another organization, without factory sponsorship. Some include a vehicle history report from CARFAX or AutoCheck, which provides detailsonpastaccidents,andpriorownership.

Pro: CPO cars are pre-selected and inspected

Factory certification programs, backed by the car's manufacturer, have limits on age and mileage. Depending on the automakers, cars eligible for certification must be no more than four to six years old, with a maximum of 50,000to80,000milesontheodometer. Toyota stretches eligibility to seven years, and Porschetoeight.

Dealers follow a checklist of inspection points: typically, 100 to 160. Because they countthosespotsdifferently,theexactamount isn'timportant.Youjustwanttoknowthatthe inspectionhasbeencomprehensive.

When inspection reveals significant problems, repairs have to be made. For that reason, dealers would rather pick the "cream" ofthelotforcertification.Ifthecarisfoundto be in good condition as it stands, little additional investment is needed to turn it into a CertifiedPre-Ownedmodel.

Pro: Certified-car repairs are covered through warranty period

CPO vehicles include a manufacturerbacked warranty that typically covers repairs for a specified time period after the original

factorywarrantyexpires.

Con: Certified used cars cost more Inspection costs money. So does making any repairs. Dealers may also pay a fee to the manufacturer to participate in a Certified PreOwnedprogram,andthewarrantyhasaprice.

Asaresult,CPOcarsaremoreexpensive than a comparable non-certified model. How much moredoes acertified vehiclecost? For a low-budget model, the price difference might beonlyafewhundreddollars.Foraluxurycar, it could be several thousand. Larger nonluxurycarsmighthaveacertificationpremium above$1,000.KelleyBlueBookadjustsitsused -car values to reflect the added cost of a certifiedmodel.Tohelpeasetheblow,CertifiedPre -Owned buyers might be entitled to special financing,withmoreattractiveterms.

Con: It's still a used car, with potential for problems

No matter how carefully it's been inspected, there's no guarantee that a certified used car will suffer no troubles over the next fewyears.Allcertificationcandoisreducethe risk.

What To Look (and Lookout) For In A CPO Program

Whenchecking out someof the certified usedprograms available,herearesometipsto insureyour ownpeace-of-mindinthetransaction:

Certified Pre-Owned: an Overview (cont)

Tip #1: Inspect the points of the inspection

Eachprogramcanboastwelloverahundred points of inspection. It is safe to assume that the vehicle has been refurbished in these areasifitpassedtheinspectionthroughtocertification. The key to looking at these points is in identifying the major fixes that would have otherwisecost you abundle. Remember, many of thesepoints wouldbecovered in atuneup, detailingormightevenbepartofastatesafety inspection required for all used cars sold by dealers.

Key inspection points:

 VIN Inspection (emissions, service & recall,VINcodeissues,etc.

 Road Testing (automatic transmission shift points/slippage, drive axle; clutch; steering;brakes/ABS,gaugeoperation)

 Body Exterior (frame damage, accident repair)

 Interior (airbag, dash light operation, smokercar?)

 Powertrain (fluid leakages, water in oil, cylinder compression reading, timing belt)

 Fuel System (fuel pump, fuel lines, oil pressure)

 Suspension/Steering (control arms, ball joints,tierods,tirewear,alignment)

 Brakes (calipers/cylinders, rotor, hydraulics,etc.)

Tip #2: Get the warranty the vehicle warrants

Each Certified Pre-Owned program offers a specific, non-negotiable warranty. When reviewing the warranties offered, research whether the particular model has a history of maintenance issues or transmission failures and make a judgment call from that perspective. If the brand of the vehicle is known for qualityandlow maintenance, it might justifya shorterwarranty.

Most programs offer an extended warranty beyond the CPO warranty, but each programdiffersincostandfeatures.You alsomay want to research whether the vehicle still has any of the original warranty left on it this will only add to the length of the warranty overall.

Tip #3: Look for special incentives and finance deals

OneofthemostuniquefeaturesofCertified Pre-Owned vehicles is that finance and lease deals are being extended to a used vehicle-whichwasvirtuallyunheardofinthepast. Lookcloselytoseewhatyoucanfind...

Gear the Pros Use!

Hailing from The Stack (Hayward, CA), Matt got his first guitar at age four. Since then a guitar, music in general, has always been close by and an integral part of his life. Around age 13 Matt also started playing saxophone. This guitar/saxophone combo continued through high school and college. During his early twenties Matt played with various bands ranging from rock to jazz to traditional Latin and Portuguese music.

Around 1994 Matt moved from the Bay Area in California to the Portland, Oregon area. For about ten years music took a back seat to work and family. It was during this time that Matt married his wife Michelle and the two of them started a family and a construction business.

After a few years Matt had returned to school and earned a degree in Civil Engineering. While in back in school, the urge to play music became too much to ignore, so in addition to his engineering course load, Matt also took some music classes and played for several years in a local cover band.

Tiring of the cover band scene Matt returned to original music in Jan 2010. It was at this time Earth to Ashes was formed.

 '06 Ibanez S470 DXQM

 '04 Ibanez S470 DXQM

 '90 GMP Custom Prototype

 '88 Ibanez RG-560

 '84 Fender Stratocaster

 MESA Mark IVA

 Morley Bad Horsie Wah

 Morley George Lynch Dragon Wah 2

 Digitech DSP 2120

 D'Addario XL (009-046)

 Dunlop Ultex Jazz III picks

 Mogami cables

Order in the Chaos

Helpful Band Tip #10 - Knowing Your Tube Amp...

When you've been playing guitar for as long as I and many others have, you begin to appreciate tone over volume. Or, you look for the holy grail of scenarios by having tone and volume together in one amp.

Now, for me to break down every amp/cab scenario and every type of guitar or style/genre of music you play would just be silly, and nobody would read it anyway. Because it would take a novel, not a blog, to express everything. So I will only talk of personal experiences and knowledge.

First off, if you don't know already, I play hard rock guitar. And I grew up styling after all the guitar gods of the 70's-80's-90's. What that style of guitar playing entails is a loud, agressive core of an amp with the ability to pull harmonics out (both natural and pinched), and deliver them clearly. All while the amp is delivering massive sustain, tone, expression, and controllability.

Ah-hah... got ya, didn't I?

The very last word is the kicker. CONTROLLABILITY. The thing that is so often sacrificed in order to acheive all the others.

You see, it isn't all that hard to pull a good tone or good volume/sustain from a tube amp of any type... if you drive it enough. But to keep it from screaming like a banshee when you stop playing is almost impossible when you have the amp that juiced up. And the hiss when you roll back on your volume on the guitar is almost unbearable if you plan on having any conversation with your band mates.

To get all these terrific adjectives into my scenario, I switched away from Mesa Boogie and back to older Marshalls. When I say "older", I am talking 90's. I chose the JCM2000 DSL series. Not the re-issue that has no soul. But the tone-monger 100 watt dual channel terror of the 90's club scene. I have my Presence maxed, my treble at 9, mids at 2, bass at 10, and my ultra gain at 10. That head

should be screaming like crazy. Especially when I'm running two of them at the same time, both at about 3.5 on the volume.

But they don't.

They run warm, and quiet. But have such a massive crunch and when I stop playing on a dime... my amp follows me in. It doesn't continue a harmonic, or a buzz, or a hum, or a mushy squash-out of the chord or note. It just stops existing. Now, some of that may be attributed to playing style, we can't discount that, but maybe my style has been developed more articulately because I trust my amp?

Now we're talking.

I also get magnificent sustain that will decay into a fluid and "blue" feedback that just soothes out the phrase delicately. Not that irritating "red" feedback that just grates the nerves and rattles your ear bones to dust. Think old Nugent (he had that cold, ice-blue feedback that sounded like a wounded rhino).

Now, just how do I get what I want out of

my amps, consistently night after night?

Easy, I took the time to understand what my amps can do. And if they couldn't quite do what I needed it to do, I investigated what it would take to acheive it. And I virtually FORGED my sound over years and trial & error.

Does all this mean I am saying my Marshalls are any better than Mesa Boogie? Hell no!!! It's just that they were what I NEEDED to obtain the sound I wanted as opposed to what was given to me at the time of purchase.

So, whatever amp you choose, ask yourself a few questions about it:

 Is my amp appropriate to my style of MUSIC?

 Is my amp appropriate to my style of PLAYING?

 Does my amp properly project what it is you are trying to do on the fretboard?

 Is my amp LOUD enough? Or is it TOO loud for my genre?

 If I make a change on my guitar (switch out pickups, change brands/models) will it adversely affect my amp's tone?

 Is my amp able to be MODIFIED?

 When was the last time you had your amp biased? Tubes changed out?

These are all highly important things to consider and address before you can let yourself go and trust your amp. Because, let's face it, nothing sucks worse than when you step to the front of that stage and hit that amazing note you've been working on only to have it fail to set you up into that killer solo...

Brien DeChristopher is the guitarist and primary songwriter for Seattle Seale-based hard rock band "Agents Of Chaos". He has played in numerous live and recording bands over the years where he has logged countless hours on stage in live performance, and studio recording time. You can see this and other Pearls of Wisdom at http://www.blogster.com/briendechristopher/

The "Sin City Rock Party" by "Guitars Under the Stars" took place at the Hard Rock Cafe and was without a doubt one of the heaviest nights of hard rock in 2014.

Opening up the night was "The Paul Hernandez Trio" from Riverside, California. I know, the opening act is always supposed to be the less-talented, up and comer trying to get their foot in the door. Not so on this night... not so at all.

The 21 year old Paul Hernandez took the stage with his beaten up gold Fender Stratocaster and made it abundantly clear that he and his band were not going to mess around. Their set was filled with heavy, bluesy rock that was the textbook definition of the word "tight". I mean, this kid is barely old enough to buy himself a beer and I kept waiting; patiently waiting for him to miss a lick, to "call it in" or do something to expose his

"inexperience"... he didn't. Not once. "Mr. Hernandez" (as I now respectfully call him) played every, single note in his set perfectly and no doubt, schooled a few long time "Guitar Gods" in the crowd on the proper way to play a guitar.

Immediately after the set ended and the applause died down, I looked around at the crowd's reaction. Every person in attendance stood there with their mouths agape stunned. It was nothing short of amazing and would have made greats like Stevie Ray, Clapton and Hendrix nod in approval.

If you're lucky; a few times in your life you will witness one of the true greats in action, a musician who just seems to have been born with "the gift". Someone who can pick up an instrument and effortlessly push it to its limits. This was one of those rare nights. And this was just the opening band!

Reigning next on the bill was "Leona X". This band from Seattle is fronted by smoking' hot front woman "Leona X" who hits the stage like a sexy lioness sporting a skin tight, black leather outfit com-

plete with stiletto boots featuring a big "X" on the side. She's oozing sex appeal and gets my attention right away. This three-piece proceeds to belt out their own brand of hard and heavy rock and the fists in the crowd immediately go up in the air.

Midway through the first song, Leona X goes into her solo and now the word is out on the street... this woman can play.

Near the end of the set on their song "Love at First Feel", Leona X goes into another blistering

lead and takes her six-string Epiphone all the way to the ground; Jimi Hendrix style. She proves to the captivated onlookers that she's not only incredibly sexy and a great musician... she's also an amazing entertainer. Leona X demands your attention and once she has it you can't look away.

"Divide the Day" -- a 4 piece from L.A. was the next on the line up of great bands who hit the stage that night. Don't be fooled by their mustaches and starched white shirts. These guys know how to rock.

From the first note to the last, they brought a heavy, upbeat sound and had the wildest, most high energy set of the night. "Divide the Day" clearly plays to the beat of their own drummer and in a world of knockoffs and copycats, their originality is a beautiful thing.

Up next was Valora… First of all, take a second to imagine your favorite rock band. Now imagine your favorite rock band without a

guitar player. So where am I going with this?

Well, it turned out that Valora's guitar player was a no-show at the last second. I only got to hear what Valora sounded like... minus the guitar. They put out a good effort and each member gave it 100% but I really can't give a fair assessment of their performance without the guitar. They had a sound similar to Evanescence... without the guitar. Needless to say, after the gig, I checked out their videos "I Waited for You" and "Extreme" and they are a solid band. It's just a shame they weren't at full strength that night.

The final band to perform on this epically memorable night was "Nadir" – a profound mix of hard rock and heavy funk. This four piece fusion band is fronted by veteran rocker "Nadir D'Priest" of the '80s glam metal band "London" (you may remember "London" from the legendary '80s metal documentary "The Decline of Western Civilization II: The Metal Years"). Nadir D'Priest not only rocked the vocals that night, he also rocked the tambourine, maracas, drums and a slew of other instruments as well. This front man truly defines the term "more cowbell" (yes, he plays that too).

Nadir's musicianship is technical and precise - but seriously smooth and fun. Their style: hard and heavy - yet groovy and carefree. Their performance: high energy yet laid back and cool. It's clear that Nadir is a group of veteran musicians who have "been there and done that". They've seen trends come and go. Seen the gimmicks come and go. At the end of the day, they know why they're still playing music. They know what they like, and they know what they want to hear.

Everyone at the "Sin City Rock Party" musicians and attendees alike, all had the same thing in common. We weren't there for "status" or "money" or to "pose".

We all went for the same reason. We all wanted to rock out and to have a good time. We all went there for the music.

100% original progressive/power metal from the Pacific NorthWest

CV WW: Tell our readers who's in the band and their role?

Matt Dorado: Currently, the line up consists of Mark Raney on drums, Larry Massengale on guitar, Angelo Jensen on bass and lead vocals, and myself, Matt Dorado, on guitar and lead vocals.

CV WW: Tell us about the beginning, who founded the band, what was the catalyst behind it?

Matt: Well the band started in January of 2010. Angelo and I had been in touch for a while but

had never really had a chance to get together. Finally, it turned out that we were both available and looking for a new original project. So, we got together for a jam and a few beers. It seems like there is always beer, and/or alcohol involved when Angelo and I get together. HaHaHa I had been in a cover band for about 7 years and was really ready to do something original. If I had to play Mary Jane‟s last dance again I just might have gone on a shooting spree. Anyway, that was the birth of E2A, Angelo, me and our

original drummer Rochelle Parche. Man that chic could pound the crap out of a drum set.

CV WW: Tell us about the name, where did it come from?

Matt: Well, we kicked around names for a long time. Probably a good 6 months. Finally, Angelo and Ro said that we should just call the band Dorado. I was against it at first. I really wanted the band to be a “band” and not considered my project. But I do like my name and it had some good imagery aspects. Unfortu-

nately, there was already a band here in Portland called Dorado and they had been here for over 10 years. When I called them to find out more about why they chose Dorado, turns out they were really cool guys, too. So, one day at rehearsal we were going through tunes. One of our tunes was a reworked version of a song Angelo had written called Earth to Ashes. After practice I mentioned that I thought Earth to Ashes was a great band name. The other two agreed and the name stuck.

CV WW: Talk to us about the journey to find the right combination of musicians ...

Matt: Is the journey over? I don‟t think so. Finding the right people to play in a band with is a pain in the ass. I mean think of how hard it is to find that right person to marry and spend your life with. Now add to that in a band the person has to have a specific skill like guitar or bass. They have to

like what kind music you‟re doing… The list goes on and on. With this group it was Angelo and me. Then we added Ro who was the wife of a coworker. Over the last three years we have added Larry on guitar and Mark is our 6th drummer. We‟ve had a heck of a time with drummers. But I think we‟ve finally found our guy. We‟ve been kicking around the idea of adding a keyboardist but it has mostly been an internal discussion.

CV WW: What is it about THIS combination that you think works so well?

Matt: You know I don‟t know. I guess finding the right group of people is a bit like how that judge described porn. Something along the lines of you can‟t really define it but you know it when you see it. This group of guys just clicks musically and as people. We all get along really well. The wives all get along. Which when you‟re married and in a band, having

the wives get along is HUGE! No one wants to deal with that drama.

CV WW: Who do you guys count as your musical influences?

Matt: As a group we have a very wide range of influences. Angelo is a big fan of 70‟s rock like KISS, Aerosmith and Priest. Larry is more of a jam band kind of guy but also like quirky stuff like Zappa. He‟s also a big RUSH fan. Mark is also a big RUSH fan but also likes some of the more progressive stuff. Me I‟m a big prog guy now. But I cut my teeth on Motown and funk stuff, didn‟t really get into rock until I was in about the 8th grade.

CV WW: Have you guys always wanted to play music, or were there other interests when you were younger?

Matt: You know I haven‟t had this discussion with Larry or Mark so I don‟t know. But as for Angelo and I it has always been

music. I remember my dad coming to see me play one time in San Francisco. I was about 24 and playing in a Latin Rock/ Latin Jazz type band. After the show he said “This is really what you want to do with your life, isn‟t it?” I just looked at him. I mean I‟ve been telling him for about 20 years that it was what I wanted to do. Pretty much since I got my first guitar at age 4.

CV WW: What other bands do you guys listen to during downtime and relaxation, what’s on YOUR music player?

Matt: In the times that we have gone on road trips Mark and Larry overdose on Zappa and RUSH. Our last few they have been very heavy on the Zappa. Angelo likes a lot of Power Metal like Primal Fear, Kobra and the Lotus, and of course Judas Priest. Me, I am pretty heavy prog guy. Right now on the phone I have Pagan‟s Mind, Symphony X, An-

dromeda, Circus Maximus and of course Dream Theater. The play list is rounded out by some old and new Accept and some Alcatrazz with both YJM and Vai.

CV WW: What do you hope to accomplish with your music, what message do you try to convey?

Matt: Hmmm good question. My thought is that there are two kinds of musicians, one plays because they like to and one plays because they have to. I am definitely one of the latter. It is such a part of me as a person. I need to play in order to keep centered and to feel normal. If I go too long without playing I really start to get stressed out and irritable. So, creating and playing music I do first and foremost for myself, then if people like it, all the better. For what message I guess I should talk about the writing process. For E2A I write 99% of the music. Angelo writes 99% of the

lyrics. Sometimes I‟ll have a riff that I‟ll bring in or (like with Curse Invoked) Angelo gave me song titles and I wrote the music off the song titles. Then Ange finished out the lyrics to tell the story. I guess what I‟m trying to say is there is no real message other than “Here is what I was feeling or thinking at this moment. I hope you like it.”

CV WW: What motivates the guys to keep improving, to keep expanding your horizons as musicians and a band?

Matt: Funny, Ange and I just had this conversation last night. I personally can‟t stand to just sit and be stagnant musically. I mean there is ALWAYS something to learn whether it‟s a playing technique, things about my gear, recording, orchestration, songwriting… the list goes on and on. As a musician I listen to other players like Petrucci or Vai. You know, guys that have in-

spired me for years. But I also try to keep up with new players like Andy James, Marco Sfolgi and Guthrie Govan. Those guys are incredible and there is so much to learn. Really, you listen to those guys and you are either inspired to practice and get better or throw all your gear in the fireplace.

CV WW: Tell us about the Portland music scene - what are your impressions of local music there?

Matt: You know Portland is strange little city. Of course it is known for the whole indie/alt scene and strip clubs of course. And that is still what dominates the music scene here. But there is a growing metal scene and some really good bands. But I don‟t think it will ever be a harder rock/metal town. Too many hipsters, hippies and lovers of the squishy singer songwriter stuff. HaHaHa

So, as a band we have been made it a focus to get out of Portland as much as we can. Pretty much anything within 300 miles is fair game. It is a time when you regret living out west. Things are so spread out that even with a 300

mile radius of Portland there are only three other larger metro areas: Seattle, Spokane, and Boise.

CV WW: Do you guys feel any “friendly competition” with the Seattle music scene?

Matt: Ha, another recent conversation and the answer is no. To me it‟s just another city 2.5 hours away with worse traffic than Portland.

CV WW: How has the response been from the shows you are playing?

Matt: The shows always get a good response. We are more known for our live show than our studio work. I mean I think the CD is cool and I put a lot of blood, sweat and tears into the release. But if you really want to experience E2A I think you need to get out to a show.

CV WW: Do you have a favorite city or venue to play?

Matt: The next one. I really like the venues here in Portland. All the staff at the local venues treat us well and do their best to make us look and sound as good as they can. There are a couple venues, I won‟t mention names, that

I won‟t play due to various reasons but for the most part we just always look forward to the next show.

CV WW: Tell us about a particularly memorable show that really made it all worthwhile for you guys. Now, tell us about a show that made you think “damm, is this really worth it?”

Matt: Hmmm that‟s a tough one. Honestly, I can‟t think of one show that made me go “Yes, this is it!” Granted there are shows that are better than others. We have a couple sayings in the band. One is “Getting closer.” Because things are never perfect but if we work hard we can get closer. The other is “One fan at a time.” That‟s how we are building our fan base, one fan at a time. So if we are playing a show to the bartender and his dog, they are going to get as good as a show from us as a 10,000 seat arena. And our goal is to make that one person a fan for life.

CV WW: What kind of pressure do you feel, if any, to produce a successful record? How much pressure is there to “produce” with every new musical offer-

ing?

Matt: Well I think you feel that with every recording you do. Or at least you should. I mean really who wants to put a piece of shit recording out there? But, our pressure is internal since we released the CD on our own label, Iron Taco. We don‟t have the concern of a record label executive canceling our project or our contract. We are in complete control. Of course that comes with its own list of pressures like “How the hell are we going to pay for all this shit.” and if the recording sucks musically, mixing whatever, everyone knows who to blame.

HaHaHa

CV WW: Let’s talk about the music industry today...and social media...music distribution is much different now, do you see that as progress? The ability to market/sell individual songs, does that benefit the industry as a whole?

Matt: The music industry, hmmm. Wow this is a whole conversation in itself. For starters, the music industry has never been about the musician. And this goes back centuries. Musicians, hell artists in general, have always needed some sort of patron. Bach had the church. Michelangelo had Popes Julius II and Leo. Mozart had the Archbishop of Salzburg. And since the 50‟s there were the record companies. The issue with the system is that the musician, although doing the creating and the performing, is not the business person. And if you‟re not a business person, you‟re gonna get screwed. That‟s just the way it is.

Now, with social media and digital media, the artist can take com-

plete control of their music. And you‟re able to get your music our there via FB, Twitter, Youtube and all the music sites that pick up your stuff. I found a couple sites yesterday that I didn‟t know existed, that had all our stuff. This is a plus and a minus. You may be able to get exposure but that doesn‟t necessarily translate into album sales. Music is so accessible that people are not as eager to pay for it anymore. Not that musicians ever made a lot from album sales but the industry as a whole has seen the revenue stream cut down a lot. So now you are basically relegated to

touring and merch sales. But then making a living as a musician has always been a crapshoot.

CV WW: Sooo, Social Media platforms...savvy PR tools or necessary evil?

Matt: Both. A necessary evil that you really need to be savvy at.

CV WW: What is it about your music that you feel appeals to fans?

Matt: I would like to think that people like the groove. Yet are kept interested by the small time changes and left turns I try to put in the songs. I would also hope

that on some level they can relate to the lyrical content. Ange has a way of writing that leaves the listener with a lot of room for interpretation and space for their imagination to fill in the gaps.

CVWW: What can fans expect to see at a show?

Matt: 100% effort! We really try and give everything we have for the time that we are up on stage. And like I said earlier if you really want to experience E2A, you have to come to a show. Ange is really fun to watch. I do my best to keep up but mostly just try to stay out of his way. Hahaha

CV WW: “CURSE INVOKED” came out July 3rd, 2014 how has it been received so far? Tell us about the process of putting out a CD - was it harder or easier than you expected? If I read it right, that was your first “full length” CD…

Matt: Yea the cd came out in July. It‟s done ok so far considering outside of a small Portland community we are an unknown band. Despite that we have sold cd‟s around the world. I have person-

ally shipped CDs to Columbia, Brazil, Ireland, Wales, Germany, Greece… It still amazes me that these people even know who we are.

The cd was a lot of work. From conception to printing was about 16 mos. Even though we had plenty of material to record I convinced the guys to start from scratch and write a whole new album. This was met with blank stares and disbelief. But I felt that the older material, while cool, was not representative of the current lineup. And I really wanted

that new cohesive voice to come through on the project. There were too many lineup changes that occurred over the first three years that all the songs have a very different feel.

So with Curse we decided to write 11 new tunes. Not only 11 new songs but, we decided to do a concept album about a cursed serial killer.

So like I said the process was about 16 months in total. The drums and vocals were recorded at Opal Studios here in Portland. Then all the guitars and bass were recorded at my home “studio” which is really just a computer and a desk where you have to dodge the kids and the dog.

Then we went back to Kevin Hahn at Opal Studios for mixing and mastering.

It was a lot of work and there are so many things you have to do besides just record like promotion and artwork. The artwork, by the way, was drawn by Angelo‟s brother Frank. I think he did a fabulous job in capturing our ideas and making them real.

CV WW: “Guitars under the Stars” in Lebanon, OR - were you a bit intimidated by sharing the stage with some of those heavy hitters? What, if anything, were you able to take away from that experience?

Matt: The whole Guitars festival was incredible. The two guys that put the festival on, Jeff and Jason, have cahones the size of Manhattan. They have put on other shows in Oregon but nothing of this magnitude. For a first year festival it turned out really well.

As far as intimidated, I don‟t think so. I mean I can only play the way I play. Maybe nervous about not playing well is a better way to describe how I was feeling. I really wanted to play well and do what I do to the best of

my ability. I‟ll probably never be a MacAlpine. I mean that guy is so clean it‟s scary. What I took away really had nothing to do with music really but more had to do with the sense of community. Getting to meet Tony MacAlpine was great. Super cool guy. I also got to spend some good quality time with Nilli Brosh, Bruce Boulette, Gary Hoey, and Larry Mitchell. That time was really the highlight of the weekend. Sitting around drinking beer, talking music and gear. In getting back to your earlier question about what was a memorable show that made me think “yes!” this is so what I want to do. It would be this show. Actually you guys should come out next year. It‟s a great weekend of music in beautiful

Western Oregon in August.

CV WW: Do any of your songs speak to you on a deep personal level?

Matt: You know I think because I don‟t write the lyrics the songs have a different meaning to me. When I think of songs that touch me on a personal level it‟s normally because of the lyrics. A song like, this is not going to be very metal, „Butterfly Kisses” hits me hard because I have two daughters (NOTE: the Pres has a daughter and understands). So the story in that song really hits a vulnerable place in my heart. An instrumental song that touches me would be the theme from Schindler‟s List. The melody is so haunting and Itzak plays it with such passion. Ugh my stomach is

in a knot just thinking about that song.

For our songs they are normally centered around something I wanted to do musically as opposed to something emotional. I try and set a mood but as best I can based on the titles but that‟s about all I can do.

CV WW: How do you think you’ve grown as a band and as musicians?

Matt: I would like to think that we grow every week. Just getting more and more used to each other‟s tendencies as players and gelling as a band I think happens every time we get together. I hope our song writing continues to evolve. There is so much to learn musically about how to set a mood or set up a chord or key change. And yet you also have your own creativity and are really only limited by your imagination. As musicians we are constantly growing. I play things now that I couldn‟t have done 10 years ago. Angelo talks about this a lot. How he had been a “play the root” kind of bassist. And now I have him playing inversions and time changes. I told him on the next cd he going to have to learn

some tapping riffs. I got the stink eye for that. HaHaHa

CV WW: Do you think you’d do anything different up to this point, give the wisdom of time? What would you tell a younger version of yourself?

Matt: Take more chances. That would be my advice. I‟ve always been a fairly safe guy. Methodical. I‟m not very emotional. And I think I missed out on some opportunities because of that. On the other side my life now is great. I have an awesome wife that I‟ll be married to for 20 years come December and two daughters that are the world to me. So maybe I did make all the right choices.

CV WW: Where do you think you are in the journey of Earth to Ashes? Where do you see the band in 3-5 years? Idealistic and realistic?

Matt: Idealistic, we are the next Iron Maiden!! HaHaHa Really the goal would be to be able to play music full time. But realistically to break even at the end of the year would be great; to be able to support the band off the band income and not my Engi-

neering income. Our goal over the next 3-5 years would be to record a few more cd‟s and to break into the overseas market. Play some of those festivals in Europe. That would be so awesome!

CV WW: Okay, what’s in store for the remainder of 2014 and into 2015? What other big projects are in the works?

Matt: Well we have one last show in December here in Portland. We are going to be performing Curse in its entirety along with some older stuff. Set timed out at a little over 90 min for 17 songs. So it should be a pretty epic night. For 2015 it‟s play, play, play. January is the annual trip to Anaheim for NAMM. It‟s always a great party and a chance to meet up with people from all over that you don‟t get to hang out with very often. We have also started preproduction on 11 of the older tunes. And release that CD hopefully before Xmas. All the while writing the next CD. We have a few tunes written already but I don‟t see those songs getting recorded until late 2015 early 2016.

CVWW: Any final words you would like to convey to your fans?

Matt: If you‟re in the NW and can get out to a show please do. We really enjoy meeting and talking to people. If you‟re somewhere else in the world stop by the FB page or the website and post something even if it‟s just “Hi” The beauty of the internet is being able to make and keep connections, so let‟s do that.

EARTH TO ASHES

Facebook ReverbNation

5WaystoConvinceYourGirlfriendto LetYouRideAMotorcycle

from AskMen.com, reprinted with permission

You’ve got that itch to get out of your cageonwheels and experience the world for what it is. Somewayor another, you’ve realized that "operating"acar islikewatching reality television on steroids -- only the couch moves and the sound system is (possibly)better.Butthequestion is: How do you convince yourgirltoletyourideontwo wheels without foregoing intimacy for a week, or a month or…ever?

The answer requires art and science, plus a little bit of

luck. Whatever combination turns out to work for you, there is something to be said for appealing to both her rational and emotional sides, with a little bit of nostalgia thrown in for good measure. So here are five ways to help youconvincehertoletyoulive thegoodlifeontwowheels.

All The Cool Dudes Are Doing It

Elvis Presley, Steve McQueen and James Dean all earned their leather jackets. Brad Pitt rides with Angelina

across various countries with various quasi-adopted children.

Shaquille O’Neil and Arnold Schwarzenegger are both

badasses on motorbikes. Tom CruisemadetheNinjaiconicin Top Gun. Ben Affleck rides (perhaps with his Oscar in his backpack), while Ryan Gosling uses one as a quick escape from the pre-teen hordes who hound him to relive various scenes from The Notebook. George Clooney looks better on one than he did in Ocean’s Eleven. Ewan McGregor, aka Obi-Wan Kenobi, uses it to tap into the force and run over dark Lords of the Sith (known in Hollywood as PR professionals). Harrison Ford had one, which makes up for his horrible fourth Indy moviein Hollywood as PR professionals). Harrison Ford had one, which makes up for his horrible fourth Indy movie. James Bond has been known to ride in a tux. Jay Leno owns more than I care to count. Michael Jordan straddled an engine, as did Charles Lindbergh, Clint Eastwood,Lawrenceof Arabia, MarlonBrando andBobDylan. Hell, even Fabio knows what’s up.

More Money To Spend On Her

In the extremely rare case you’re not making millions in this super-awesome

economy, perhaps you should point out that motorcycles save you money, both up front and in the long term. To start with the obvious, there’s the typical price of buying new. While a top-of-the-line 2013 Kawasaki ZX-6R will set you back $12,699, a stock Toyota Corolla will cost you $16,230. One of these goes 0-60 in a matter of seconds; one makes sure you won’t get laid on a first date. You can often pick up a decent used bike for anywhere between $2,000 and $4,000, or a brand-new entrylevelbikeinthe300cccategoryfor around$5,000. Theonly used car I know that costs $2,000 has a giant dildo attached to the hood, as seen in theveryadeptcomedyIdiocracy. Then there’s the insurance factor.Insuringmybikecostsa grand total of about $200 per year.

Finally, you can talk aboutgas.Atankthatcantake you 200 miles costs $14 to fill up, with premium. The result: Youcantakeheronaromantic tripto Paris. Or buyher jewelry,orotherthingsthatactually mattermorethanjewelry.Like a microwave oven. That statementisnotchauvinisticifyour girl likes to cook. Which, if true, means you should probablyalso buyher aring with all yoursavings.

riding with a cape might be a little much, but rolling up to the party in full leathers is

completely acceptable. If you want to get her thinking about how good you’ll look in front ofherfriends,takeherto your nearestbikeshopandputona helmet and some body armorreinforced leathers. Dare her to tell you that you don’t look likethemoderndayequivalent of a knight. The advances in motorcycle gear these days oftengiveyou theappearanceof sporting a Halo suit. So, if you ever find yourself in a tough spot,needingtobackupabuddy or defend your girl’s honor, you’vegotaleguponanybody who’s dumb enough to tryand touch you. Then there’s the whole saving the planet thing. Better MPG means your carbon footprint isn’t nearly as big as that bro in his raised truck or even the chick in the Mazda 3. In other words, you’ve got that Captain Planet thinggoingon.

Everybody Wants to Date a Superhero

Unless you’re Batman,

Time Is Important

Timeismoneyandmon-

5WaystoConvinceYourGirlfriendtoLetYouRideAMotorcycle(cont)

ey is time, but if you had to pick one, it seems that time is the thing we never have enough of. So instead of wasting two hours of your life every day commuting in traffic, it might be a good idea to highlight how much time you’ll save (and get to spend with her) if you commute on a bike rather than in a car. This will alsohelpwithyourangermanagement issues, as you’ll be less apt to succumb to road rage due to grandma and grandpa chilling in the fast lane. Trust mewhenI saythis: There’s nothing better than zooming by hundreds of people sitting in bumper-tobumper traffic who all inherently hate you and want to be you. (DISCLAIMER: Lanesplittingisonlylegalifyoulive in California.) You’ve probably been this hater yourself. Unless you get a bike, you’ll most

likelybethishatertomorrow.

The Ultimate Sell… Take Her For A Ride

It’s easy to be against riding motorcycles, until you ride one, that is. The best sell: have her hop on the back (after you’re experienced enough to handle her added weight, of course). The easiest way to make this happen might simply be to roll up to her house with an extra helmet. If she’s the adventurous type, she’ll hop right on. If she requires a little more convincing, you might need to use those crazy good negotiating skills you’veperfectedthrough your parents, or guilt her into giving it ashot so you’ll finally forgive her for that time she went out with her girlfriends to Chippendales. Whatever method you use, make sure you don’t act like a total jackass when she’s riding pillion.

That means no popping wheelies between semis. The thrillofridingwillbesuchthat her arms will automatically wrap around you. If you’re good,you’llberewardedinthe end for being a time-, moneyand planet-saving superhero whosealter-egoisnamedElvis SchwarzeneggerofArabia.

In Toto...

If you reallythinkyou’re aminivantypeofguy,thenyou shouldn’t have started reading this article in the first place. But if you’re serious about exploringthetwo-wheellifestyle, then you best get out there. Life is short and all too often people go their entire lives without really living. So swing alegoveranironsteedandenjoy the wind in your face. If she’s worth it, she’ll understand.

AskMen.com

But if shedoesn’t andall else fails, there’s always Plan B...goodluckwiththat...

Gear the Pros Use!

Born and raised right here in Portland, Oregon, Mark was gifted with his first drum set when he was only 5 years old! His early influences were Motown and the Beatles, then he heard Led Zeppelin and Rush, and the rest is history. He started playing seriously at age 14, with his brother Rick on the bass. He has played in a variety of bands, including Sacred Ties, Burn Again Mission, Josephine Ocean, Cement, and Sky Blue Mind, to name a few.

Mark took time off from playing live a couple years after getting married to his wife Jennifer in 2000. He continued to practice and did some studio work. He was lured back into playing live at the Monsters of Rock initial show at Dante's in 2012. Hooked up with Larry at the 3rd MOR show in February of 2013, which eventually led him to Earth to Ashes.