THE VERITAS
A SINGLE’S GUIDE TO Valentine’s Day February 8, 2019
Covenant Christian High School
Tiny News Issue 1
Photo courtesy of Brie Schleinz Article byJoann Ncube **Read as sarcastically as possible, except for #10. Besides family dinners, New Years, and weddings, Valentine’s Day is that one day a year when having a date matters. And if you don’t have one, then Feb. 14 is going to suck for you. All throughout movies, books, and real life, high schoolers feel pressured to have a date for Valentine’s Day and to make it special for the person they’re seeing. Valentine’s Day is meant to show love for the ones you care about: family, friends… lovers. But for those of us that don’t have a sweetheart, Valentine’s Day can be seen as a waste of time, “mushy gushy,” boring, and pointless. Sometimes, having a Valentine can come off as bragging to those that don’t get gifts on the special day. Here are some ways that can improve your Valentine’s Day and not make it, well… sucky. 1. Don’t mope around. You’re taking the love out of Valentine’s Day and making it about yourself. 2. Stay in. If you have to live through Valentine’s Day, you might as well do it in the comfort of your own bedroom. You don’t need to be surrounded by happy loving faces.
3. Shoot your shot. Use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to send that hello to your crush or simply ask them out. Be brave; you never know what they’ll say until you ask. 4. Forget about Valentine’s Day. The real holiday is the day after February 15th. Chocolate and treats become cheaper, and all the decorations are getting taken down by then. So you can spend that Friday night chilling in bed, eating cheap chocolate, and watching movies without having to worry about seeing gushy faces. 5. Speaking of movies, spend February 14th catching up on your favorite Netflix or Hulu shows or films. Or even better, you can watch Hallmark or Lifetime movies to realize how lonely you really are and that love can be ridiculous. 6. Why not capitalize on this special day? Make extra money on Valentine’s Day, by selling date ideas to couples or selling last minute gifts to those who forgot or didn’t have time to get one. 7. Spend Valentine’s Day with your fellow single pringles. Band together so you don’t feel alone. I mean you’re all single, so why don’t you be single together?
8. Be the honorary third wheel. Who says you need to spend Valentine’s Day alone? Spend the day with your favorite couple and join in on the festivities. 9. Instead of feeling down in the dumps about your singleness, why not make someone else feel down in the dumps? Go into a public place, find a couple who are enjoying their holiday, walk up to one of them and yell “ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME ON VALENTINE’S DAY? I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!”, push them, then run away crying. Make sure to stay back somewhere where they can’t see you to watch what happens with the couple; you can’t miss it. 10. But in all seriousness, remember that just because you don’t have a Valentine doesn’t mean that Jesus can’t be yours. Who cares about Valentine’s Day when you know that Jesus, our Lord and Savior loves you? If you want your Valentine’s Day to feel less like *insert word*, follow these simple steps to achieve maximum loneliness. This was not meant to offend anyone or anything, it’s just meant for fun.
Mr. Jeff Ruemmele Article by Hannah Mossbarger (‘20)
This is Mr. Ruemmele:
Photo of Mr. Ruemmele: Rich Unland
He looks like George Clooney and can do a stellar Donald Duck impression.
But these aren’t the only reasons he’s so cool. I sat down with him during an SRT and asked him about music and his job. Before meeting, he said we should meet in the library and that he would be the one with a copy of the London Times and a red carnation. When I asked him what is something that Covenant students can be doing to better care for our facility, he responded that they should really just try and pick up after themselves. “It doesn’t do anybody any good to just leave that goldfish cracker sitting on the floor.” He also thinks that we should stop using the word “like” so much. “It, like, makes you, like, sound like a valley girl.”
Did you know that he writes his own music? Some of his faves to listen to include classic rock and the blues. Mr. Ruemmele has also been playing the guitar since college but never took a lesson—he asked people to show him how to play certain chords and taught himself the rest. If you see him in the hallway, give him a smile. He contributes a lot to our school; a smile is just a small way to show our immense appreciation for all that he does.
THANK YOU!