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March 2015 N°96
The worst kept secret on the Costa del Sol
Compute er Pro oblems? we can help p.....
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costadelhome.com Inspired Property Search
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Business Director y Puzzles & Quizzes What’s On Guide Horoscopes H Local Info Kids Page Joke es
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What is going on? It has been soooo cold for the past few weeks, I have not known it to be this cold since moving to the Costa del Sol. My onesie and slippers have seen a lot of action this year…! Well here we are again into another new month - where does the time go? If your summer is looking anything like mine you are receiving the annual bookings for holidays from family and friends and thinking it may be easier to start running a B&B. Make the most of the next few weeks peace and quite before the chaos descends. Lots going on this month it’s Mothers day on the 15th, we have a great twist on a Chocolate cake recipe on page 52 if you want to bake your Mum a gift. On the 17th it’s St Patrick’s Day lots of Bar’s and Pub’s have celebrations up and down the Coast. What ever you are up to have a great month…
in the March Magazine
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A Man’s World: Shenanigans at a bus stop also advice for anyone getting married.
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Medical Section... The A-Z of medical healthcare on the Costa del Sol. If you need any advise on any medical matter look here...
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All Revved Up... The future of the car, like a lounge or maybe driverless we look at the motor trade and where it’s going to be in 2020..
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What’s on this month? Get dancing this month on Ice in Malaga with Disney or FEZ dance in Marbella, also a tour of local stews in Fuengirola.
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Solutions on page 76 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.
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Kids Page: Give Mike some colour play in the maze or search for some words…
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Business Directory... Can’t find that all-important contact information see page 72.
Like Us
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Solutions on page 76 Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages from 6 -116!
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The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud or get some giggles on page 68!!!
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A Womens World! This month we have a very important warning also a cleaver wife!
Call: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669 Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com
Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/costa.link.spain Whatapp: 663 061 669 6
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No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2015.
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A Woman’s World
WARNING...PLEASE READ - DO NOT WASH YOUR HAIR IN THE SHOWER!!
Why is it called “Beauty Sleep” when you wake up looking like a Troll
It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!! IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT. WARNING TO US ALL!!! Shampoo Warning! I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner! I use shampoo in the shower! When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning, "FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME." No wonder I have been gaining weight! Well! I got rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Fairy liquid. It's label reads, "DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."
A VERY CLEVER WOMAN...
Man on phone: "Honey I've been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get a promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We're leaving from office & I'll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk boxers!" The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy, but being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said. The following weekend he came home a little tired but looking good.. The wife welcomed him & asked if he caught many fish? He said "Yes, Lots of Salmon, Blue gill & a few carp? But why didn’t you pack my new silk boxer shorts?" You'll love the answer..!! She says, "I did.....They're in your fishing box " Game over!!
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Stocking only the very best in ladies fashion including leading quality designer labels Sizes from 10 to 20
(other sizes can be ordered)
Extensive Sales Rack.
Opening Times: Monday - Friday 11am - 6pm Saturday 11am - 3pm
Tel: 952 927 245
Avda. del Mediterraneo 4, San Pedro de Alcรกntara (near Da Bruno Restaurant, opposite the Fishing Boat)
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HOT GOSS!
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ADELE 'IN TALKS' TO HEADLINE GLASTONBURY 2015! So apart from the FOO FIGHTERS confirming their headline slot at this year's Worthy Farm festival the British legend Adele may also be joining the US band in June. A source told The Mirror last month that: "Most of the acts have been booked for Glasto but Michael and daughter Emily Eavis are still trying to get Adele for Saturday night. "She has been on their wish list for a few years now.”
E.L. JAMES TO WRITE THE NEXT FIFTY SHADES OF GREY FILM: So It sounds like there's ALREADY a load of drama around the next Fifty Shades film So far the first 50 shades films has grossed a whopping $300 million worldwide, and Sam Taylor Johnson, Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson, instead of worrying about their "credibility", are laughing all the way to the bank. And when a film does well, what does Hollywood do? Try and bang out a sequel as quickly as possible. But unfortunately the film version of Fifty Shades: Darker is already facing some problems. Firstly, Sam Taylor Johnson was rumoured to be pulling out after on-set disagreements with E.L. James. And now it's surfaced that E.L. James is getting even MORE control the second time around - as she's demanding to write the script. Oh dear creative types hey!
IS SIMON COWELL QUITTING BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT? Quit your job, leave the country, dig a giant hole in the most barren land and never emerge again: Katie Hopkins could be the new face of the Britain’s Got Talent judging panel, and we’re genuinely fearful for the survival of the human race.Yep, you did read those words correctly. According to the Daily Star On Sunday, Simon Cowell is already thinking about quitting the ITV talent show he said he’ll give himself “a couple more years” in TV before retiring from the small screen.
Incorpor orating
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HOT GOSS!
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IS DOWNTON ABBEY'S MICHELLE DOCKERY ENGAGED? Yay for Lady Mary! Downton Abbey star Michelle Dockery is reportedly engaged to her financial PR beau John Dineen following a year-long romance. The 33-year-old actress is said to be planning her "dream wedding" to her new hubby-to-be, and supposedly announced the news on the Downton Abbey set, according to The Sun. What makes this story even nicer is that the pair were introduced by a Downton Abbey cast member - Allen Leech, who plays a former chaffeur Tom Branson alongside Michelle in the ITV drama.The actress is yet to confirm the news, but if she is getting hitched, we bet Highclere Castle (the real-life Downton) would make a fab wedding venue
THE GLOVES ARE OFF! Chloe Sims and Elliott Wright come to blow...With TOWIE’s return last month fans were eager to find out how on-off lovebirds Chloe Sims and Elliott Wright are getting along.The couple rekindled their fragile relationship over Christmas but were rumoured to have called it a day once when he allegedly found text messages on her phone from Danny Cipriani. We are sure this won’t be the only fight or confrontation in Season 14! Meanwhile, Mario Falcone is seen on camera with his new girlfriend Emma McVey for the first time.We wonder how what will pan out...
JAMES CORDEN HAS SHED 6ST SINCE MOVING TO LA.. Since relocating to take over as TV host of The Late, Late show. The 36-year-old moved himself and his family to the US and has been getting to work on slimming down.The British comedian has lost an impressive six stones after changing his diet and employing a personal trainer. Now a slimmed down 15st James is focusing on trying to make this new move a success.Well done James we wish him all the best!
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671 093 925
Your long term property rental specialists Website: www.costarents.com Email: info@costarents.com
FOR SALE, Club la Costa: €129,950
A 2 bed 1 bath townhouse in the resort of Club La Costa.The property is fully furnished and comes with parking,renting this property means you can use all the bars and resturants in the community.Properties in this delevopment are extremely rare,the property has been very well maintained. You can walk to the beach in 10 minutes and Fuengirola in 15 minutes.
FOR SALE, La Cala: 2 bed 2 bath penthouse apartment. With 2 terraces and a full size roof terrace €195,000.
FOR SALE, Riviera: €154,950
This Beautiful 2 bed apartment situated within the Crown resorts complex in lower Riviera del Sol. The property is within minutes walking distance to bars, restaurants,supermarkets and the beach. The apartment is 2 bed, 2 bath and benefits from a massive terrace off of the lounge which has a fantastic view of the coast and sea. Early viewing recommended for this superb located property.
FOR SALE, La Cala: 3 bed duplex penthouse, the property is on 2 levels. Great views of the hills. €249,000
@costarents For all the latest listings!
FOR SALE, RIviera: Very large modern 3 bedroom, 4 bathroom part furnished townhouse private garage. €330,000
Search Costa Rents For all the latest news and listings!
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671 093 925
Your long term property rental specialists Website: www.costarents.com Email: info@costarents.com
COMING SOON
FOR RENT, Club La Costa: A 2 bed 1 bath townhouse in the resort of Club La Costa.The property is fully furnished. €495 PCM
FOR RENT, Las Chapas: 2 bed 2 bath apartment located in reserva de marbella in Las Chapas. €600 PCM
Looking for rental properties now! Please ring
2 bed beachside Calahonda
€650 PCM
L et
Costa Rents
nts by costa re
if you want to rent out your property today KEEP CALM AND RENT OUT
YOUR
PROPERTY
PROPERTY SITTING EMPTY? MORTGAGE AND COMMUNITY FEES BUILDING UP?
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A beautiful women and a priest...
A beautiful young woman, on an international flight, asked the priest beside her, “Father, may I ask a favour?” “Of course you may. What can I do for you?” “Well, I bought this expensive electronic hair dryer that is well over the Customs limits and I’m afraid that they’ll confiscate it from me. Is there anyway that you could carry it through Customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?” “I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.” “With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.” When they got to Customs, the young lady let the priest go ahead of her. The Customs Officer asked, “Father, do you have anything to declare?” “From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.” The Officer thought this answer strange, so he asked, “And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?” “I have a marvelous little instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.” Roaring with laughter, the Officer said, “God bless you, Father, go ahead…
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An Irishman applies for a job...
An Irishman applies for a job, but the foreman won’t employ him until he passes a little maths test. " Here’s your first question, the foreman said without using numbers, represent the number 9." Without numbers? the Irishman says, "Dat is easy. "and proceeds to draw Three trees. "What’s this?" the boss asks. "Haven’t you got a brain? Tree and tree and tree makes nine," says the Irishman. "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here”s your second question. Apply the same rules represent the number 99, this time." The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Dere you go." The boss scratches his head and asks, "how on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Each of Da trees is dirty now. So, dat’s dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree... Dat equals 99." The boss starts getting worried that he’s actually going to have to give the Irishman the job, so he says, "All right, final question, same rules again, but represent the number 100." The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Dere you go One hundred." The boss looks at the illustration and bursts out: "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" WAIT FOR IT... Whereby the Irishman leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree, saying: A little dog came along and cr*pped by each tree. so now you’ve got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, dat makes one hundred." .............."So, when do I be starting the job?"
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1) What sort of creature is a serval? 2) In which Middle Eastern country is the port of Acre? 3) With which war is Florence Nightingale chiefly associated? 4) Which legendary Biblical figure is described in Genesis as a mighty hunter? 5) Which Eastenders character did Anita Dobson play? 6) In which American City was there a famous ‘Tea Party’ in 1773? 7) Who was the oldest of the Bronte sisters? 8) Which precious metal has the symbol Pt?
TRIVIA QUIZ
Muhammed Ali first win the World Heavyweight Championship? 12) Who directed the film 50 Shades of Grey? 13) How many English Kings have been called Henry? 14) Which annual prizes were established by the legacy of a Swedish chemist who died in 1896? 15) Which line on a weather map links places of equal atmospheric pressure? 16) Who played Queen Victoria in the film Mrs Brown? 17)In which novel by Charles Dickens does Mr Micawber appear? 9) Which mountains form a border between France & Spain? 18)Which member of the Royal family took the surname 10) Which British Institution is Mountbatten in 1947 upon known as The Old Lady of becoming a British citizen? Threadneedle Street? 19) With which partner did 11) Under what name did boxer Christopher Dean win Olympic,
World and European ice dance championships? 20) Which Kentucky army post is the location of the U.S. gold bullion depository? 21) On which island is the volcano Mount Etna? 22) Which partnership wrote the musicals Jesus Christ Superstar and Evita? 23) Which two cities have the only archbishops in the Church of England? 24) Which shocking fish is also known as a torpedo? 25) Who presents “The Chase” on ITV1?
26) How many people usually sit on a jury?
27) Which North Yorkshire village is famous for its barracks and racecourse?
Answers on page 76
DRAIN & LEAK SOLUTIONS S.L.
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Tel: 951 310 111
Mobile: 651 111 005 CLM©2012
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your y our MIND D ownnB
B U S I N
FREEH HOLD INVESTM MENTS LARGE CORTIJO: Seville
995,000€
FR REEHOLD WAREHOUSE WAREHOUSE 995,000€
Set in idyllic grounds & provides a good income all year round it occupies 595 m2 (6500 square feet). There is also a beautiful ul garden great for celebrations.
165,000€
FREEHOLD LOCAL
Close to Puerto Banus. Highly viable from the A7/N340 with 780m2 inside plus a further 350m2 outtside. Easy free Parking - this is a very rare opportunityy.
VACANT RESTAUR ANT
Situated in the heart of the popular Cabopino Port, just outside Marbella, an empty freehold local ideal for a variety of uses. Previously a bar and carries a late license.
FREEHOLD D RESTAURANT
435,000€
DRY CLEANERS
95,000€ This freehold premises close to El Chaparral beach, 18 hole ggolf course and the race course, is extremely versatile and would be ideal for a huge variety of uses.
125,0 000€+IV VA This Freeholdd Laundry/Dry Cleaners is too be sold with a long standin ng tenant (12 years) in occcupation on a one year leasee.
Above Elviria. Ruunning successfully for 10 years is at present with a tenant on a contract for the next 4 years. Currently being sold as an investment.
FREEHOLD LOC CAL
2 250,000€
A large freehold restaurant in Mijas and off o fers 248 m2. It has been subject to a complete refform orm in the last few years andd complies with all current regulations & modern licenses. ses.
FR REEHOLD BAR
175,000€ Bar and 2 bedroom f lat in Sabinillas let on a 5 year term with a monthly rental of 1,200€.
www.business-sa ales-spain.com Telephone: 95 52 935 200 Mobile: 663 061 669 inffo@business-sales-spain.com o@business-salles-spain.com
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BUSIN NESS I N E S S
B R O K E R A G E
WANTED! A PROPERT Y MAN NA AGEMENT COMP PANY ANY We sold 4 Properrty Management Com mpanies panies last year We ha av ve buyers waiting for for anotherr... ...
“M MR G” is looking for for LAUNDR UND DR RY / DR RY Y CLEANERS Betw ween Marbella & San Pedro Let us know if you would like to sell yours!
RESTAUR ANT IN SAN PEDRO DE E ALCANTAR A “Mr S” is new to the area and requires a resta aurant in San Pedro Please contact us if you ha av ve one ffor or sale...
BOAT TOUR BUSINES SS “Mrs M” is looking ffor or a Boat Tour business if you ha av ve one to sell let us know...
WE URGENTL LY Y NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.ffacebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.
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your y our MIND D ownnBU B B U S I N
Adver e tising your business ffor or s NO up fron nt ffees ees NO hidden charges FURNIT TURE STORE: Estepona 60,000€ HUGE second hand furniture shop close to Estepona this business has been established for 20 years of the Costa del Sol.
CHILDREN'S PLAY CENTRES FRO OM 175,000€ - Choice of two children's play centres. One close to Malaga airport and once close to Puerto Banus.
BOUTIQUE B&B: Marbella 1,650,000€ All about Location, Location, Location. A lovely boutique style bed and breakffast. Set in beautiful grounds with a fabulous pool close to central Marbella and Puerto Banus.
CURTAIN & FABRIC SHOP
34,950€
A very well established curtain and fabric shop based in Fuengirola WITH HUGE SCOPE FOR EXPANSION.
HA AIR & BEA AUT UTY SALON
85,000€
This Hair andd beauty salon has been esttablished in a high profile poosition. Highly regarded hairr and beauty salon in exceellent position with very good income.
GIFT & CARD SHOP: La Cala
19,950€
This small but b very well known card and gift shop is based in a high profile position. Welll established and has a loyal y client base as great ffoot oot fall.
RESTAURANT: Calahonda
175,000€
This Irissh themed restaurant/baar is one of the busiest resstaurants in Calahonda, with w a regular and loyal clientele. ntele.
RESTAURANT: Fuengirola
49,000€
This beaut utiful restaurant right in the very centre of Fuengirola opened four years ago. Situated in an attractive square juust a minuttes walk from the seafront.
www.business-salles-spain.com Telephone: 95 52 935 200 Mobile: 663 061 669 inffo@business-sales-spain.com o@business-salles-spain.com
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BU USINESSS I N E S S
B R O K E R A G E
s ffor or sale sa ale in Spain and the UK NO advertising ffees e ees NO sale - NO fee fee e 75,000€
BAR: Puerto Banus
This bar is situated in a very popullar commercial centre close to Puerto Banus. This is the only dedicated bar. The Weekly market is right on the doorstep & provides constant custom on market day.
RESTAURANT: MIjas Costa
49,950€
BARGAIN: REDUCED BY 50% Large fish & chip restaurant in Mijas with large terrace and excellent views.
D DESIGNER DRESS AGENCY Y
7,500€
This Dresss agency is based between San S Pedro and Estepona, specialises in high-end designer d clothing for ladies ESTABLISHED FOR NEARLY 20 YEARS.
LAUNDRETTE: Miijas Costa
35,000€
Very busyy, well known launderettee is based in Mijas Costa Costa and has been established for 20 years always operating from same location.
CAFE/BAR: La L Cala
19,500€ The current owner is selling due to poor health. This cafee/bar is extremely successful it’s in an excellent location. Newly decorated with modern interior.
PROPERTY MANA AGEMENT CO.
45,000€
This is a fantastic opportunity to a quire this very profitable business based in Murcia with 100 properties. Ideal for a couple or foor an existing Management Co.
BRITISH SUP PERMARKET
40,000€
A FANTASTIC OPPORTUNITY. A well known and frequented by a large number of regular shoppers and is conveniently placed on the busy main road.
WATER SUPPLY COM MPANY
97,000€
Providing fresh spring water to homes and businesses ESTABLISHED FOR 7 YEARS ON THE COSTA DEL SOL.
WE URGENTL LY Y NEED D MORE BUSINESSES FOR S SALE To receive updates on all new instructioons go to: www.ffacebook.com/business.sales.spain an and nd press like.
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The BLIND MAN & the blondes...
Man starts to tell a blonde joke in a bar full of girls. Then this happens…
An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake… He find his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him say, ‘before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a “Billy-club’. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
‘Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy…. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’ The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, ‘no…not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times…’
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Record Breakers!
Amazinghumans... Think you’ve got a party trick worth boasting about? It probably couldn’t compete with these… If you have a slightly weak stomach, then please look away now. Think you’ve heard it all think again!
Longest Ear Hair: Indian citizen, Anthony Victor, holds the record of the most ear hair. We’re not quite sure how proud one should be about this fact, but Victor has hair measuring up to 7.12 inches sprouting from the center of his outer ears.
Furthest Eyeball Popper: American Kim Goodman can pop her eyeballs a creepy 0.47 inches beyond her eye socket. The feat was measured in Turkey in 2007. Longest Maggot Bath (WHY)? Though beyond our comprehension why anyone would want to set this record, a British woman, Christine Martin, sat in a bath with maggots for 1 hour and 30 minutes, on what we can only assume was a crazy day in 2002. Most Stretchy Skin: Garry Turner of Britain can stretch his skin up to 6.25 inches, less due to an amazing talent and more so a medical condition, Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome. The disorder of connective tissues affects the skins, ligaments and internal organs, allowing Turner to distend his skin to unnatural lengths. Most Rattlesnakes Held In The Mouth: Though not quite sure what possessed him to do it, Jackie Bibby, USA, holds the record for most, live, rattlesnakes held in his mouth. In 2001, he held eight, by their tail, for 12.5 seconds. Continued on page 34...
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Record Breakers!
Amazinghumans...
Longest Fingernails: 68 year-old, Lee Redmond, USA, used to hold the record of the longest fingernails for a woman. She started growing them in 1979, and by the time of official measurement in 2008, they reached 28 ft 4.5 in length. Unfortunately, the three decade long effort was wasted in early 2009 when Lee lost her nails in a car accident.
Heaviest Weight Pulled With Eye Sockets: Chayne Hultgren, holds the bizarre and painful record of pulling the heaviest weight with his eye sockets. In 2009, the Australian pulled 907 pounds (humans and cycle) on the ‘Lo Show Dei Record’ show in Italy. Farthest Nasal Ejection Of Spaghetti: Kevin Cole, of New Mexico, USA, holds the record for blowing the longest spaghetti strand out of a nostril in a single blow. Cole started spraying Ramon noodles out of his nose, and then slowly progressed on to spaghetti. His crowning achievement was recorded in 1998, with his spaghetti strand measuring 7.5 inches. Farthest Squirting Milk From The Eye: Ilker Yilmaz, a construction worker from Turkey, can squirt milk from his eyes up to 9 ft 2 in, which he disgustingly proved in a hotel in Istanbul in 2004. Contortionist Who Can Fit Through A Tennis Racquet: Captain Frodo, born in Norway and living in Australia, is known as the ‘Incredible Rubberman’ for his crazy contortionist ways. Born double jointed, he is able to squeeze head and shoulders through the head of a tennis racquet. What we would like to know is how do you find out you can do these things in the first place?!?
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One amazing Parrot...
A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, ‘Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?’ The parrot says, ‘I was born this way. I’m a defective parrot.’ ‘Holy crap,’ the guy replies. ‘You actually understood and answered me. !’ ‘I got every word,’ says the parrot. ‘I happen to be a highly intelligent, and a thoroughly educated bird’ ‘Oh yeah?’ the guy asks. ‘Then answer this, how do you hang onto your perch, without any feet.?’
‘Well,’ the parrot says, ‘this is very embarrassing, but since you asked, I wrap my weenie around this wooden bar, like a little hook. You can’t see it, because of my feathers.’ ‘Wow,’ says the guy. ‘You really can understand, and can speak English, can’t you.?’ ‘Actually, I speak both Spanish and English, and I can converse with reasonable competence on almost any topic, politics, religion, sports, physics, philosophy. I’m especially good at ornithology. You really ought to buy me, I’d be a great companion.’ The guy looks at the $200.00 price tag. ‘Sorry, but I just can’t afford that.’ ‘Pssssssst,’ says the parrot, ‘I’m defective, so the truth is, nobody wants me, cause I don’t have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer.!’ The guy offers $20, and walks out with the parrot. Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humor, he’s interesting, he’s a great pal, he understands everything, he sympathizes, and he’s insightful. The guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from work, and the parrot goes, ‘Psssssssssssst,’ and motions him over with one wing. ‘I don’t know if I should tell you this or not, but it’s about your wife, and the UPS man.’ ‘What are you talking about,?’ asks the guy. ‘When the UPS man delivered a package today, your wife greeted him at the door, in a sheer black nightie.’ ‘WHAT???’ the guy asksincredulously. ‘THEN what happened?’ ‘Well, then the UPS man came into the house, and lifted up her nightie, and began petting her all over,’ reported the parrot. ‘NO!’ he exclaims, ‘and she let him.?’ ‘Yes. Then he continued taking off the nightie, got down on his knees, and began to kiss her all over.’ Then the frantic guy demands, ‘THEN WHAT HAPPENED.?’ DUNNO?!? I got a hard-on, and fell off my perch.!
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A Man’s World
AT A BUSY BUS STOP...
At a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight leather skirt was waiting for a bus. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to again take the step, only to discover that she couldn’t. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step. Once again, much to her embarrassment she could not raise her leg. With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to take the step. About this time, a large guy who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus. She went ballistic and turned and screeched, "How dare you touch my body! I don’t even know who you are!" The guy smiled and drawled, "Well, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I figured we were friends."
A FRIENDLY INVITE GONE WRONG!!
Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married.”
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Medical Tips
Thai Foot Massage
Thai Massage is system of massage and manipulation developed in Thailand and influenced by the traditional medicine systems of India, China and South East Asia. From this traditional technique, which dates back over 2600 years, comes Thai Foot Massage. Thai Foot Massage is a vigorous massage of both the feet and lower legs up to and including the knees. There are over 700 pressure points located in the bottom of the foot corresponding to the internal organs and systems of the body. These points on the feet and legs are kneaded, stretched, massaged and pressed, with particular pressure from the thumbs and knuckles and also by the use of a short wooden stick. The treatment includes working on Sen lines which are the equivalent of the Chinese Meridian (or energy) lines. This ensures a whole body workout, with all the major body parts and internal organs being stimulated to release and let go of any blockages and ‘stuck’ energy. A Thai Foot massage will help you to rebalance your body and mind, eliminate wastes and toxins from the body and invigorate you both mentally and physically. More specifically, it will help to boost your immune system, speed up physical healing and increase your overall energy levels. It can help to improve the circulation in your feet and legs and also help to reduce stiffness in the feet and legs and thereby help to improve mobility. It’s a perfect anti-stress massage helping to ensure a more comfortable night’s rest and sleep. Patricia is an experienced practitioner with many years and a wealth of experience, having worked in both the NHS and the private sector in the UK. For further information or to discuss the benefits of Massage call Patricia on 666170868 or pop in and see her either Wednesday or Friday mornings at Clinica Medicare in La Cala de Mijas Tel: 952835776.
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Clinica Medicare is a Preferred Partner of “medilink” Your British Health centre here on the Costa del Sol. For more information on Clinica Medicare or any of our other Preferred Partners call “medilink” on 952 93 38 76.
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March 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/02/15 5:26 pm Page 44
TOP 10 facts
about eyes...
From pupils expanding at the sight of someone you love, to 500 visible shades of grey, find out more about the eye than you ever knew before! • Both eyes have a blind spot on the back of the retina where the optic nerve attaches, however you won’t notice this, due to the way eyes work together to fill gaps in your vision. • Everyone around the world with blue eyes shares a common ancestor: the first person with blue eyes lived around 6,000 – 10,000 years ago, and before that, everyone had brown eyes. • If you wore glasses that flipped images upside down, your brain would eventually correct your vision, and you’d see things the right way up. • Some eye surgery uses shark corneas, as they are the most similar to a human cornea. • Your nose runs when you cry due to tears from your eyes draining into the nose. • Mascara wands cause the most injuries out of any cosmetics. • The muscles that move the eyes are the fastest and strongest muscles in the body: they are 100 times more powerful than necessary. • You blink more when you talk, and less when you’re reading off a computer screen or paper – the reason behind why your eyes get tired more. • People generally read 25 times slower on screen than on paper. • New-born babies are colour-blind, and men are more predisposed to colour-blindness than women.
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Health Well Being &
March 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/02/15 5:47 pm Page 46
CAN YOU REDUCE THE RISK OF GETTING CANCER?
you hear from the uk government through adverts on tv and newspapers that you should eat healthier but they never tell really you why... people will say that getting cancer is the luck of the draw, but these days it is believed that by eating roughly 12 to 15 items of fruit, vegetables or salad per day can reduce the risk of cancer, as these items contain vitamins and minerals known as antioxidants.
we all have free radicals in our bodies which are molecules looking for a weakness within us to attack, they can cause all sorts of trouble, but cancer in particular and antioxidants act as our barrier to free radicals, therefore the higher antioxidant barrier you have, the less chance you have of getting cancer.
antioxidants minimize damage to your Cells from free radiCals:
an apple slice turns brown. fish becomes rancid. a cut on your skin is raw and inflamed. all of this result from a natural process called oxidation. it happens to all cells in nature, including the ones in your body. to help your body protect itself from the rigors of oxidation, mother nature provides thousands of different antioxidants in various amounts in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, nuts, and legumes. when your body needs to put up its best defense, especially true in today's environment, antioxidants are crucial to your health.
you will know that smoking Causes CanCer, but do you know how?
nicotine kills your antioxidant barrier leaving you open for attack from the free radicals this is the reason if you smoke there is a 70% chance you will get cancer related to smoking, Can you imagine playing russian roulette with a 10 chamber gun? of course, you wouldn't but smoking has the same danger.
whilst we don’t have the cure for this terrible disease, we can certainly help you reduce your chance of getting it in the first place.
for your own peace of mind, check how high your antioxidant level is for only â‚Ź10,
email: 10EuroCheckUp@dr.com or see the advert on page 42 46
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Medi$BSF F JT DPNNJUUFE UP QSP PWJEJOH RVBMJUZ JO FWFSZZ BTQFDU PG DBSF BOE TVQQPSUU JO UJNFT PG OFFE BWBJMBCMF JO UIF DPNGPSUU BOE TBGFUZ PG ZPVS PXO IPNF
t " GVMMZ MFHBM SFHVMBUFE $PNQBOZ t " UFBN PG GVMMZ SFHVMBUFE 6, USBJOFE /VSTFT $BSFST t A FREE )PNF #BTFE )FBMUI "TTFTTNFOU t " DPNQMFUF DBSF TFSWJDF
5IF UFBN BU Medi$BSF VOEFSTUBOE UIF " GVMM SBOHF PG TFSWWJDFT DPWFSJOH OFFE UP TFF BMM PG PVS DMJFOUT BT JOEJWJEVBMT BOE UBJMPS FWFSZ DBSF QBDLBHF UP NFFU ZPVS t 1PTU PQFSBUJWF DBSF SFIBCJMJUBUJPO t 4USP PLF 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO TQFDJmD OFFET t 1BMMJBUJWF $BSF t 0SUUIPQBFEJD 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO Established on the Costa del Sol since 2001 t 3FTQJUF $BSF Telephone: 952 835 776 t %JTUSJDU /VSTJOH 4FSWJDFT 24 Hour Helpline: 667 733 520 t (FOFSBM $BSF F 4VQQPSU -JWF *O $BSF t &TDPSUUFE 3FQBUSJBUJPO )PNF www.medicarenursingser g vices.com Quality in every aspect of care as well as support in times of need! info@medicarenursingservices.com
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Medical Mayhem
A man speaks frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant, & her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor queries. "No, you idiot!" the man shouts. "This is her husband!"
Wife - The doctor recommended me to spend one month at the sea, two weeks in the countryside and go for one week abroad. Where will you take me first? Husband - To another doctor... A List of Things You Don't Want to Hear During Surgery
• Oops! • Has anyone seen my watch? • Come back with that! Bad Dog! • Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that? • Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingy • What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change! • Damn, there go the lights again...
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• Everybody stand back! I’ve lost my contact lens! • Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us. • What do you mean, he's not insured? • Let's hurry, I don't want to miss “Eastenders" • What do you mean "You want a divorce"! • FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
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ALL REVVED UP... THE FUTURE OF CARS Things are changing in the motoring world... After years of being told that Diesel engines are more efficient we are now being told they are more harmful than petrol engines. Various types of alternative fuels have been tried and even the latest hyper cars from Porsche, McLaren and Ferrari are Hybrids. We take a look at into what the future may hold. The Mercedes F015 Luxury in Motion concept is “a mobile living space” – the self-driving car feature a lounge-like interior with four rotating chairs that can turn to face each other. Self-driving cars are no new idea, many current manufacturers have been working on them for years Google have been using them in the USA, and they are currently developing their driverless car that has no steering wheel, accelerator pedal or brake pedal. Computer Giants Apple are rumored to be planning an all new electric car to go on sale by 2020. They have recently poached top staff from Ford, Mercedes, and Tesla, but remain tight-lipped as to what the project may be… Toyota, who manufacture the best selling electric car in The World – The Prius have just started announced the new hydrogen powered Mirai which will be on sale this year. Hydrogen is the gas that goes into fuel cells. It generates electricity while emitting only water. The electricity drives a motor, so you get the same smooth, quiet performance as a battery car. But you can drive for far longer, and refuel in a few minutes instead of the hours you need to recharge an electric vehicle.
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Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218
Before
After
Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info
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Cakes like these are wonderfully therapeutic to make - chuck the lot into a bowl, and give it a quick beat and it's ready to bake. Simple! Great as an afternoon treat with a cuppa or an easy one bowl wonder for a speedy dessert... YUM!
Cinnamon Nutella Cake Ingredients:
•175g softened butter •175g golden caster sugar •3 eggs •200g self-raising flour •1 tsp baking powder
•2 tsp ground cinnamon •4 tbsp milk •4 rounded tbsp Nutella or own-brand chocolate hazelnut spread •50g hazelnuts, roughly chopped
1) Preheat the oven to 180C/gas 4/ fan 160C. Butter and line the base of a 20cm round cake tin. 2) Put the butter, sugar, eggs, flour, baking powder, cinnamon and milk into a bowl. Beat with a wooden spoon for 2-3 minutes, or with an electric hand mixer for 1-2 minutes, until light and fluffy. 3) Tip three quarters of the mixture into the tin, spread it level, then spoon the Nutella on in four blobs. Top with the remaining mix-
ture, swirl a few times with a skewer, then smooth to cover the Nutella. 4) Sprinkle with the nuts. Bake for 1 hour to 1 hour 10 minutes, until risen, nicely browned, feels firm to touch and springs back when lightly pressed (cover with foil if it starts to brown too quickly). Cool in the tin for 10 minutes, then turn out, peel off the paper and cool on a wire rack. Wrap tightly in double thick foil to keep fresh for up to a week.
Method:
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Strangebuttrue...
ROOFTOP MOUNTAIN. SHOCKER! Eccentric millionaire doctor, Zhang Biqing, from Bejing, decided to build an elaborate private mountain on the top of his 26-story building. The rooftop villa took over 6 YEARS to build. The mountain garden has trees, rocks, grass, and could rival any private getaway. It is a nice little piece of the country atop an urban cityscape. Unfortunately, Biqing failed to dot the i’s and cross the t’s. GOT TO GET THE CORRECT PERMITS Biqing failed to get the proper paperwork and permits before he built his massive structure. Not only that, the six years of constant construction DID NOT please his neighbors. After numerous complaints, the local authorities finally issued Mr. Biqing a warning. The Beijing rooftop 'mountain villa' boasting a gym, open-air pool and guest rooms was fated to be demolished following safety concerns. The deconstruction of a mountain villa started one year after it was ordered to be demolished. The 8,610-square foot structure used rocks and greenery to recreate the illusion of an incredible natural mountainside, but angered residents who were living in fear below it. They claimed it was unsafe and caused cracks to appear in ceilings and walls, while some had to battle with leaks from broken pipes and drains.
GARDEN CENTER L I N D AV I S TA
What would you do if you were his neighbor? Suck it up in hopes of getting an invite to the private rooftop abode? Or say to heck with him and lodge a complaint?
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Ctra de Cadiz, Km171,29670, San Pedro de Alcantara, Behind McDonalds in San Pedro. Tel; 952785206
CLM©2008
H UG E R A N G E O F: P O TS lG A R D E N T O O L S lP L A N TS F L O W E R S & SH R UB S lGA RDE N F UR NIT URE lGARDEN ORNAMENTS
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FINANCIAL NEWS The Euro & World Round Up
When will these banks learn? – Never!!!! Again HSBC are all over the news this time it’s the Swiss arm of the Banking giant!! They have been helping thousands of wealthy customers avoid paying taxes, giving them bundles in cash in other currencies, they are now being accused of helping criminals launder funds, funny that banks can get away with this, however if it was you or me, we would potentially face prison and have to pay the taxes. In Europe, it’s all about Greece, will they or wont they leave the Eurozone, will they or wont they pay back their bailout Money? Germany is adamant that they must and so too is “the troika” (IMF, ECB.EU) All parties involved are frantically trying to negotiate some kind of plan or payment, so that the situation does not explode in to a euro-wide mess. France, Italy, Spain, Ireland and Portugal will want Greece to pay back its debt, as all these countries have suffered the black-
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ness of austerity and are now emerging out the other side.
The UK is in negative inflation the first time in 55 years, however the £GPB is strong and UK citizens can look forward to cheap holidays in the Eurozone, bring me that Sangria and Paella. Euro vs. USD could be heading for parity, the ECB starts it bond buying programme in March, watch this space.
To find out how our currency partner can help you get more for your money, whether you are buying or selling a property, sending funds from overseas, give them a call on 952 587 657 and see what they can do for you.
Please quote Costa-link when contacting Moneycorp.
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What’s On Guide...
01/03/2015: ST DAVID’S DAY CONCERT. Songs from Wales, "the land of song", with Ricky Lavazza & friends. For more information call: 952 47 45 42 or e-mail: boxoffice@salonvarietestheatre.com or visit the website www.salonvarietestheatre.com. 15/02/2015 to 03/03/2015: LA CAZUELA DE LA ABUELA, FUENGIROLA. Or Granny’s cooking pot the event sees restaurants all over the town making traditional homemade stews for people to sample please see www.visitafuengirola.com for more information. 10/03/2015 to 11/03/2015: DISNEY ON ICE, 100 years of Magic An amazing ice show and with: Mickey Mouse, Minnie Mouse, Goofy, Donald, Jiminy Cricket, Pinnoccio and all the Disney Princesses also including the Lion King, Finding Nemo, Toy Story and much more, through an unforgettable ice show. for more info call 952 17 63 92 or see www.malagadeporteyeventos.com. 13/03/2015 to 22/03/2015: OKLAHOMA! Salva Presents the great American hit musical by Rodgers & Hammersteins. For more information call: 952 47 45 42 or e-mail: boxoffice@salonvarietestheatre.com or visit the website www.salonvarietestheatre.com. 15/03/2015: FES DANCE MARBELLA@PALACIO CONGRESOS Marbella. It’s a big dance event with amazing choreography!! Talent show! Everyone who has a relationship with dance can participate in entities may be public or private, some are gyms, APAS, dance academies, cultural associations, box, civic centers, sports centers, schools, etc... You can also do this if you belong to a separate group. Call: 617993336 for more information Every Monday: 11 am – 1 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa. Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis. Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771. Every Tuesday: Dance with JiveSpain Miraflores Resturant from 8pm - 11pm. For more information see website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211. Every Tuesday: 11 am – 1 pm Age Care Coffee Morning at the Baptist Church, Calahonda, where people can chat, share experiences & take part in a variety of activities. Tel: 952 933 409 for info. Every Tuesday: Age Concern hold a meeting every Tuesday afternoon 14:00 till 16:00 at the Manila bar in Los Boliches offering Spanish and computer lessons. Every Wednesday: Dance with JiveSpain at El Campanario, San Pedro, from 8pm - 11pm. Every Wednesday: at 11:30am the Malaga Picasso Museum is offering free guided tours in English which is included with the price of admission Every Thursday: Dance with JiveSpain at Tikitano Restaurant, Estepona from 8pm - 11pm. Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda Every Thursday: Age Concern hold a meeting from 11:00 till 13:00 at the Manila bar in Los Boliches if you’d like some advice or just a friendly chat please drop by. Every Thursday: Flea Market from 9am next to Aldi in Las Lagunas, plenty of parking. Every Friday: Dance with JiveSpain at Hotel El Goleto, Duquesa from 8pm - 11pm. Every Sunday: Dance with JiveSpain take over the dance floor at Atalaya Park Hotel. Every Sunday: Flea Market EVERY Sunday 10am till 2pm at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm. Every Sunday: Craft Market every Sunday in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm. If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know...
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email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com phone: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669
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ocal Info Emergency Numbers
---
Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica
Medical
112 091 092 062
Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267
Health Centres
Town Halls
Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100
Fire Brigade
Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046 British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A
952 952 952 952 952 952 952
Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro
952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252
352 475 226 604 212 226 474
300 108 373 383 442 590 891
Tourist Information
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Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026
Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700
Consulates
Transport
Markets
Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday -Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground. Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Calypso (Mijas Costa). Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) & Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring). La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).
Cinemas
All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Cañada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622
Chemists
24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89
Taxis
Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593
Diary Dates
1st March 2015: St David’s Day 15th March 2015: Mothers Day (UK)
17th March 2015: St Patrick’s Day 19th March 2015: San Jose Spanish Fathers day (Public holiday) 29th March 2015: Summer time begins! Clocks go forward
if you would like to sponsor this page please call 951 216 131
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S TA R S I GN S
A look at what's in store for you during March 2015...
Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Aries
Taurus
Gemini 62
Capricorn, the first part of March 2015 will be quite boring all in all. On March 17th 2015 expect a massive change in pace: Venus enters your sign brining with it fun, romanticism and new love. You'll be lucky with love; there will be romantic dates and new energy. The most favorable moments for Capricorn people will be around March 22nd-23rd. At work you might make an investment or come into possession of some goods that are related to the fields enumerated above, but there might also be a crisis situation that will entail an important change. The second part of March 2015 will bring Capricorns a professional opportunity and will be excellent for promotion. You'll have moments of hyper-activity or irritability that will alternate with moments of confusion and lack of concentration. There might also occur over-demanding issues within the family. Aquarius, Jupiter is located in Aries this month you’ll receive some extra energy and vitality in your love life. Expect a trip or a surprise-encounter that maybe bring new love. The second part of March 2015 will be favorable to your private life, Venus' influence, which will bring harmony, warmth and comfort to Aquarians. On the work it will be a period when you make decisions and settle issues. Maybe you'll sometimes do it in a rather rough and rash way. But there will be cases when you'll aim very precisely and you'll get what you want. Money will come also this month. Ka-ching! You'll risk flipping or saying things that you'll regret. Try to relax, act calmly and prudently! It is recommended that you avoid haste and impulsiveness, the more so as current transits will predispose you to accidents as well. If you haven't done it recently, check the technical condition of your car! Pisces, in the first part of March 2015 nothing much will happen in your love life, or the things that happen will not make you very happy. Venus, the planet of love, will now be more interested in the practical aspects rather than the romantic ones. You will be preoccupied with business and investments or money in general. Venus will bring you luck with love for the rest of the month though so don’t get down hearted! At work March will be your month, dear Pisces! The Sun will be lighting your way and casting light on you as well. You'll have charisma, you'll have an excellent capacity to organize and coordinate, you'll be in the center of attention and all your qualities will be properly highlighted. Beware, though, because some financial incidents are not excluded! You are recommended not to rush to decisions and to avoid risky operations. Keep yourself informed, write, speak, read, calculate! Use your neurons! Aries, the first part of March 2015 promises to be passionate and full of surprises. Mars and Venus will both be in your sign: Venus is the planet of love and Mars is the planet of desire and conquest. This combination will have a huge effect on your love life. The whole of March will see you exposed to a risk of conflicts; try to control your impulsive instincts. At work you’ll have extra energy and ambition get involved initiate new projects, you’ll feel the need for competition or to fight for a noble cause. This month will see you be constantly be on the move, rather high-strung, and you might sometimes rush to decisions, react aggressively or take too big a risk. Take it easy! Count to three before you (re)act - and keep your sense of humor! Venus, will bring you good luck with money and success through March 2015, although be prudent because there could be incidents or unexpected critical situations at any time.
Taurus, in order to have a happy relationship, the first part of March 2015 will see you taking action. It'll be useless to secretly dream of a great love if you do nothing about it. Grasp any opportunity, March sees you being lucky in love. At work it is likely you will not always get the results they have hoped for. It's a sign you need to organise yourself and prioritize your efforts to reach your important goals. Money should not be a problem this month as long, as you are practical and don't get involved in unclear combinations. Don't mix money with friendship and only invest in solid, verified things! All throughout March 2015 Taureans are recommended caution though, because there will be a risk of accidents, injuries or unexpected diseases.
Gemini's relationship and love life in March 2015 will combine love with friendship, fun and future plans. If you are single now is a great time to meet that “special someone” at a social event if you are in a relationship a wave of energy that will encourage both of you to act together as one, to fight side by side for reaching an objective. The second part of March 2015 will have a stronger romantic influx but will not necessarily be happier. Be careful not to end up in confusing, controversial or compromising situations! At work March 2015 will be a month full of resources and opportunities for Gemini. If you know how to exploit them, you'll make major progress in your. Money will especially come through partnerships. In March 2015 you are likely to close new profitable deals. You'll have an excellent morale and be in great physical shape this month although taking time out may be wise; you have a busy summer ahead.
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Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
Cancer, you will go through a more relaxed period, in March 2015 you'll be attracted to people with status and visibility, you'll want your partner to be a person that deserves your admiration, that you can be proud of. An affair may start with somebody higher ranking than you be warned though your sentimental relationship could damage your image. March 2015 will be a period in which you will find it hard to separate your private life from your professional one. Mars and Venus will encourage initiative and ambition at work. With Venus helping you advance through personal charm and networking it will also bring you luck. Starting on March 21st, the Sun will enter your sign and start to rebuild some aspects of your financial and career that you have been unhappy with of late, March 2015 promises remarkable accomplishments. This is a good time to broaden your horizons.
Leo, Saturn and Jupiter are planning your love life expect fireworks until the middle of the summer 2015. If you are single now is the time to start a new relationship or get satisfaction from an existing one. It will be the time of accomplishments and shared achievements. On the work front the projects started by you will head towards being completed, there will be new impulses, new directions to develop. There might also be some changes this will bring with it a lot of challenges and satisfactions. From the 1st to the 17th March: your career, "electrified" we will just call you Midas because everything you touch will turn to gold! As regards money: stay clear-headed and practical! With your health and fitness try not push it this month avoid excesses and take care of yourself.
Virgo, expect March to be a romantic period for you and your loved ones. The Sun will be in your sign making you brighter and lively. On March 13th 2015, Mercury, Virgo's ruler, will meet Neptune. The Mercury-Neptune combination will have a big emotional load and disappointments. All in all, you will be recommended to be careful about what you become involved in, especially after the 13th of March. On the work front no matter how promising things seem to be, they could degenerate if you don't manage to establish clear and very honest cooperation terms. March 2015 will be very dynamic for Virgos at the financial level. In March 2015 there will also be a risk of loss or financial troubles. Therefore, all Virgos will be recommended prudence. Order and discipline - which usually ensure the inner balance of Virgos - can be disturbed in March 2015. You'll have to make some efforts not to get out of rhythm. Libra, March 2015 will see Uranus, Mars and Venus teaming up with the Sun in your sign this will be a very dynamic phase, marked by significant or meaningful events. It is very likely that a new relationship will appear, or the existing relationship will undergo a process of change. Trips, friends and days out will have an important to you this month. At work you'll have high chances to close new contracts and partnerships. At the same time, you can expect competition also, and even direct confrontations. If you manage to keep your diplomacy, you'll only have to gain out of it. By and large, though, March 2015 will be favorable to action and accomplishments, including of a financial nature. Be flexible and adapt to situations as you go! This period will predispose excesses bringing stress and exhaustion – Get some downtime when you can
Scorpio, with the Sun, and Neptune in your sign, March 2015 will surround you with romantic waves. A witty remark here, a sweet look there - and you can end up falling in love before you even realise it. The wind of idealism generated by Neptune will bring you magical connections, which are rarely strong and clear though. This month will see your love and professional life very closely connected. March 2015 will be a busy month for Scorpios on a professional level, but with immense creative potential and with high chances of accomplishments in your career. March 2015 will also be favorable to Scorpios in the financial department. In the second part of the month you'll have good luck with collaborations. If you have a medical problem, you will now have the strength to deal with it and find a solution!
Sagittarius, March will be the most passionate month of 2015 you. Uranus, Mars, Venus and the sun will bring enthusiasm to your love life they will boost your luck in love. At work if you have a long plans, you are determined to do a good job, March 2015 will be the month in which you can make remarkable progress. You can now lay the foundation of a business, develop, consolidate and even accumulate. So that you can fully take advantage of these favorable circumstances, you have to know what you want very clearly. Therefore, beware of doubts that confuse you or mislead you at a certain point. You'll be in an excellent shape: you'll have good physical resistance, a lot of energy and better effort management. In March 2015, Sagittarians will be recommended to exercise more: working out at the gym, doing sport, dancing, walking, etc
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March 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/02/15 6:28 pm Page 65
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puzzle Link The Words
Solutions on page 76
it out
In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can preceed each of these 3 words.
1)
___
3)
____
2) 4) 5)
____
GAIN
TENDER
LIGHT
STREET
HOPES
LEVEL
SIGHT
FLAKE
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ TREE ___
BALL
CHAIN
STAFF
MAN
PRESENT DECORATIONS
Guess The Celeb
A
B
Sudoku
Brain Teaser
A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT... A lift is on the ground floor. There are 4 people in the lift including me. When the lift reaches 1st floor, 1 person gets out 3 people get in. The lift goes up to the second floor, 2 people get out 6 people get in. It then goes up to the next floor up, no-one gets out but 12 people get in. Halfway up to the next floor up the lift cable snaps, it crashes to the floor.
Everyone dies in the lift. 66
How did I survive?
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Crossword
Across: 1. Says emphatically (6) 4. Old-fashioned (5) 8. Fevered (5) 9. Refrain (7) 10. Words on a grave (7) 11. Mark with acid (4) 12. Look at (3) 14. Where I am now (4) 15. Unruffled (4) 18. Large body of water (3) 21. Just open (4) 23. Flue (7) 25. Big mistake (7) 26. Clear (5) 27. Old language (5) 28. Handsome young man (6) Down: 1. Removes hair (6) 2. Insulting (7) 3. Last plays in chess (8) 4. Work place (4) 5. Scorch (5) 6. Small boat (6) 7. Wood turner (5) 13. Hidden (8) 16. Lamp (7) 17. Fish (6) 19. Oak seed (5) 20. Young dragonflies (6) 22. Up in the air (5) 24. So be it (4)
Name The Film
A This 2011 stars Jamie Bell as an intrepid B reporter who sets off with Captain Haddock on a treasure hunt for a sunken ship commanded by Haddock's ancestor.
A 1984 classic movie sees a martial arts master agreeing to teach a bullied boy karate and shows him that there is more to the martial art than fighting.
Say What You See...
drawn scale scale
rab bit rab bit rab bit
folks folks folks folks
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The Jokespage
Jokespage
A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now. " The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mum was talking about her side of the family." A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give you €800 to drop that towel.” After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her €800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, “Who was that?” “It was Bob the next door neighbour,” she replies. “Great!” the husband says, “did he say anything about the €800 he owes me?"
I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter. When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: 'Yeah, three males and two females.' Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference. He said: 'Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone.'
A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: 'I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down.' The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: 'Because he's far too heavy.' 68
Early networks discovered ... After having dug to a depth of 10 metres last year, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Scots, English scientists dug to a depth of 20 metres, and shortly after, headlines in the English newspapers read: “English archaeologists have found traces of 200 year old copper wire and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the scots.” One week later, 'The Kerryman,' Irish newsletter, reported the following: “After digging as deep as 30 metres in peat bog near Tralee , Paddy O'Droll, a self taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Paddy has therefore concluded that 300 years ago Ireland had already gone wireless.“
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puzzle Trivia Quiz Answers
1) A Wildcat 2) Israel 3) Crimean War 4) Nimrod 5) Angie Watts 6) Boston 7) Charlotte 8) Platinum 9) Pyrenees 10) The Bank of England 11) Cassius Clay 12) Sam Taylor-Johnson 13) Eight 14) Nobel prizes 15) Isobar 16) Dame Judi Dench 17) David Copperfield 18) The Duke of Edinburgh, Prince Phillip 19) Jayne Torvill 20) Fort Knox 21) Sicily 22) Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber 23) Canterbury and York 24) Electric Ray 25) Bradley Walsh 26) 12 27) Catterick
Answers from 22, 66 & 67
it out
Link The Words 1) Bar 2) Snow 3) High 4) Christmas 5) Eye
Guess The Celeb a) David Walliams b) Geri Halliwell
Brain Teaser
A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT... Answer -
It was me that got out on the second floor.
Crossword Solution
Sudoku Solution
Name The Film
a) The Adventures of Tintin (2011) b) The Karate Kid (1984)
Say What You See 1) Drawn to scale 2) Splitting hairs
76
3)Different strokes for different folks
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March 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/02/15 6:56 pm Page 78
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March 2015 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/02/15 6:56 pm Page 80