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July 2016 costa link magazine

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July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/06/16 4:17 pm Page 1

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July 2016 N°112

No1

MARBELLA

AUTOMOTIVE•ELECTRONIC•DIAGNOSTIC

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Business Directory Puzzles & Quizzes What’s On Guide Horoscopes Local Info Kids Page Jokes

Computer Problems? we can help....

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Glass Curtains costadelhome.com intelligent property search

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Hot Summer Nights!


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IRONWORKS High quality metal at factory prices Established since 1989

Protect Your Home Windows Door Rejas

Protect Your Family Patio Rejas Drive Gates Etc.

FACTORY DIRECT ANY COLOUR - ANY DESIGN URBANISATION THEMES IF YOU CAN GET LIKE FOR CHEAPER WE WILL REFUND THE DIFFERENCE

‘The most respected British steelwork company in Spain’ BECAUSE WHEN IT COMES TO HOME SECURITY “IRONWORKS”

VISIT OUR WEBSITE FOR PRICES & MORE EXTENSIVE CATALOGUE

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TELEPHONE

678 691 393


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GET A WHOLE

load more for your money... • All advertisers have FREE INCLUSION in the business directory • All advertisers have THEIR OWN PAGE on the Costa Link Magazine website with map & link to their Facebook page, website & lots more...

• All advertisers have FREE INCLUSION in the on-line business directory • NUMBER ONE ‘Costa del Sol magazine’ on Google for over 7 years

PRINT, WEB, SOCIAL MEDIA COSTA LINK MARKETING we are ahead of pack...

tel: 951 254 222 or email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com | w


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K N I L A T S O C h t i w MARKETING

call the costa link team 2 or 663 061 669 m | web: www.costalinkmagazine.com


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Ed’s Note..

Well, well, well they left?!?! What will it mean for us Expats here on the Costa del Sol? Boris V’s Dave the biggest fight of 2016 – Brexit and they did… Euro 2016 is heating up with England, Wales and Nothern Ireland through to the last 16 (at the time of going to press). Lots going on up and down the Costa del Sol this month check out our what’s on guide on page 66 also the tennis at Wimbledon kicked off at the end of June mmmmmm think we’ll get to the shop for some Pimms’s, strawberry’s & cream just because we are in Spain doesn’t mean we can’t get involved! Phew! I think it’s safe to say that the summer sunshine has finally arrived. Already I’ve been hearing “ooh it’s just too hot” etc... Come on everyone! Isn’t this why we moved to Spain?? If it all gets too much why not go for a quick paddle at the nearest beach. Try to find your inner calm and switch these grumbles to things like “Oh look another beautiful day”, “how lovely it is to enjoy a proper summer!” Have a fab month!

in the July Magazine...

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Gadgets & Gizmo’s: The first Smartbone for dogs lots of new camera tech whatever next…!

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It’s a Man’s World… Man verses hair removal cream… with hilarious results!

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Unknown Classics… The Goodwood Festival of Speed is no stranger to rarities, we take a look around some of the best from last month show.

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What’s On Guide.... Loads going on this month. Lots of beach festivals and the start of Starlite check out page 62 you’re going to be busy!

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Solutions on page 80 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.

HOW TO CONTACT US Call: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669 Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/costa.link.spain Whatsapp: 663 061 669 or Tweet: @costa_link

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The kids page this month goes under the sea to find Dory and friends...

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Business Directory... Can’t find that all-important contact information see page 76.

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Like Us

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Solutions on page 80 Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages from 6 -116!

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The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud or get some giggles on page 72!!!

Facebook

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Women’s World this month: It’s all computerised these days…

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No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2016. Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007

to advertise in costa link magazine please call 951 254 222 or 663 061 669


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A Woman’s World

IT’S ALL COMPUTERISED THESE DAYS…

Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind; Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Try entering command: Last year I upgraded from boyfriend 5.0 to C:/I_THOUGHT_YOU_LOVED_ME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, down in the overall performance, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But applications, which operated flawlessly remember, overuse of the above applications under Boyfriend 5.0. can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed Silence 2.5 or Beer 6.1. WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a many other valuable programs, such as very nasty program that will create Snoring Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 9.0. CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install and then installed undesirable programs Mother-In-Law. This is not a supported such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and application and will crash Husband 1.0. Cricket 3.0 Conversation 8.0 no longer In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, runs; it simply crashes the system. but does have limited memory and cannot learn

Dear Technical Support,

I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,Desperate.

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new applications quickly. If all else fails you might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Signed,Tech Support.


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HOT GOSS!

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p i s s z i o b G how S

IS BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT IN TROUBLE? Can you imagine a world without Ant and Dec on ITV reality shows? This horrible future where the kings of light-heartened entertainment and side-eye extraordinaires might not exist on Saturday night television could be a real life nightmare as it’s rumoured the pair might QUIT Britain’s Got Talent. The cheeky Geordies could be leaving the show as their ITV contract is up at the end of 2016, and despite being named presenters of the year for 600 years running, they are wondering whether it’s time to move onto new projects. After 10 years hosting the talent show, it might need to be asked: can Britain’s Got Talent last without Ant and Dec? JAMES CORDEN BIGGEST EVER CARPOOL KARAOKE… One

Direction, Sia and Adele in his passenger seat singing their hearts out on Carpool Karaoke - but they were all just warm-ups for his next guest. At the White House last month the Late Late Show host revealed that he'd soon be taking a spin with US first lady Michelle Obama! This special edition of Carpool Karaoke was announced as promotion for Obama's brand new Snapchat account. This new Carpool Karaoke segment will air soon on The Late Late Show catch it on weeknights at 12.37am ET on CBS.

THE SPICE GIRLS ARE PLANNING A COMEBACK TV DOC… The

Spice Girls 20th anniversary celebrations are imminent and despite Mel C and Victoria Beckham not particularly being up for it the band still have some huge things planned. Including a TV mini-series. A TV insider told The Sun: "The Spice Girls comeback is the big story in pop so it’s no wonder the girls want to maximise their popularity. A fab new documentary series – that’s what we want, what we really, really want.

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HOT GOSS!

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p i s s z i o b G how S

'ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS, THE MOVIE’… 24 years after Patsy and Edina hit our TV sets in Absolutely Fabulous, the comedy duo are set to return for their first feature film, Ab Fab: The Movie to be released on July 1st. The storyline is as follows: "Blamed for a major incident at an uber fashionable launch party, Patsy and Edina become entangled in a media storm and are relentlessly pursued by the paparazzi. Fleeing penniless to the glamorous playground of the super-rich, the French Riviera, they hatch a plan to make their escape permanent and live the high life forevermore!" - 'Stolly-Bolly darling’… MADE IN CHELSEA… The last season of MIC has just closed its very opu-

lent doors but we are ashamed to say that it’s lost its sparkle. Brunch at the Bluebird, an afternoon sipping champers at the Polo, it’s just not quite enough anymore. The current incarnation of Made in Chelsea can't quite live up to the glory years of series four and five. So here’s an action plan of how to make it totes amaze again: 1) Bring back Spenny… 2) Couples blahhhh who wants to see that, singles mingling that’s what we need. 3) Make it posher – we love the antics of Mark and Toff we holler more of the escapism! 4) Bring back the villain! A bit of bitchiness, bring on the cat fight. 5) The LOVE triangle very entertaining to watch, MIC it’s all got a bit dull I say… But please E4 help us out here!

MIC HEADING FOR THE RIVIERA… Previously enjoying trips to LA and

New York but this year will be hitting the the French Riviera. Based in Cannes, London’s most glamorous gang will be spending their sunny months taking in the Riviera’s hot spots in style. Francis Boulle, is returning for some fun in the sun. The course of the six episodes, which will air this summer on E4, Francis and the rest of the Chelsea gang will make their mark on the South of France. Visiting some of the resort’s most luxurious locations, oooohhhh we can’t wait!

Denise from The English Pie Shop invites you to come and try her delicious pies, cakes & quiches all for take away... At Just Baked in Calypso, between Riviera & Calahonda KM 199 on the N340 Open Monday to Friday 9:30am to 4pm Saturdays 9:30am to 2pm 14


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l ica t s Facts! a t n a • If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat up one cup of coffee… (Hardly seems worth it.)

•If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it!) • The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (OMG!) • A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (In my next life, I want to be a pig!) • A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it staves to death. (YUCK!) (I’m still not over the pig). • A cat’s urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?) • The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes…. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?) • The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue. (Hmm…) • Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be the pig quality over quantity.) • Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (How do they find these things out? Also what about that pig?)

e w hoop oin k p e

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The all new Cabopizza Bistro Fantastic Family Friendly Restaurant & Bar with Large Terrace

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A Blank Canvas... When you buy a new property, it is always good if you can create a clean blank canvas for your new furnishings. Mark (my partner) creates a lovely base for us to then furnish and decorate. If you want those old fashioned bobbly walls plastered to a lovely smooth and modern finish, new light switches and sockets etc, we at White Design Company can help. It makes all the difference when making a nice contemporary look for your new or existing furniture. Mark was also trained in Italy in the art of Venetian plastering and can add a beautiful feature wall or all the walls if so desired. Venetian plastering or Marble plaster as it is sometimes known can come in all colours, matt or shiny and many effects can be added to the walls or ceilings. It will also stand the test of time. When the walls, ceilings are being revamped it is a good time to consider lighting and having it in the right places. Lighting can make or break an interior space. From stylish focused lighting to a statement lamp or ceiling pendant, how you light a room can really transform it’s ambience and style. With so many new designs and different styles available, when it comes to modern lighting it can be hard to know where to start. It can be used in multiple ways to change or to enhance the look and feel of a space.

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“Lighting can make or break an interior space”

A perfect ambience would balance several light sources at different levels, Table lamps, up lighting, down lighting and general lights. Whenever you choose light sources for a room, you need to consider the purpose of the lamp, the size of the room, the mood you want to set and the look you want to create. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different types of light fixtures to create the perfect balance. Ask us about our vast range of lighting. www.schuller.es www.faro.es and many more.

Until the next time.. Dilys.

Edif. Butibamba la Cala de Mijas, Mijas Costa email: info@whitedesignco.com | www.whitedesignco.com Tel: 952 494 155 | Mob: 600 583 673 find us on facebook


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Commandments of Marriage

ONE: Marriages are made in Heaven. But so again are thunder and lightning.

TWO: If you want your wife to listen to and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. THREE: Marriage is grand – and divorce is at least 100 grand!

FOUR: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen. FIVE: When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing – either the car is new or the wife is. SIX: Marriage is when a man and woman become one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

SEVEN: Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something to say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. EIGHT: Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife. NINE: Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why the wife treats the husband like toxic waste. TEN: A man is incomplete until he is married. After that he is finished.

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TRIVIA QUIZ

1) What is the chemical name for Laughing Gas? 2) What does a plum become when it is dried? 3) Who wrote the novel "Lord of the Flies"? 4) What is the highest hand in poker? 5) In the children's story, who is Peter Pan's archenemy? 6) In which city would you find the Hermitage art gallery and museum? 7) A deficiency of vitamin D leads to which condition? 8) Who played Hermione Granger in the Harry Potter series of movies? 9) Where in London can you see the statue of Eros? 10) In mythology which creature was half man and half horse? 11) What is the young of a

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pilchard called? 12) What word means the art of producing decorative handwriting? 13) What was the final battle of the Napoleonic Wars? 14) How many lines are there in a sonnet? 15) Who was the captain of HMS Bounty at the time of the mutiny? 16) Which is the smallest US State by area? 17) In which month of the year does St Patrick's Day occur? 18) What’s the name of the British astronaut that came back from the international space station last month? 19) By what name is the young of a kangaroo known? 20) What is the currency of Dubai? 21) For which sport is Chris

Boardman famous? 22) What is another name for the rowan tree? 23) What is the chemical symbol for gold? 24) To which group of animals does the adjective Porcine refer? 25) Who wrote the book entitled "A Brief History of Time"? 26) Which city is the capital of Belgium? 27) How many pints are there in eight gallons? 28) What are rhinoceros' horns composed of? 29) What was previous name of Istanbul? 30) What’s the name of the coach of the English Rugby team?

Answers on page 80


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You Know You’re Getting Old When...

1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you. 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first. 3. No one expects you to run….anywhere. 4. People call at 8 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?" 5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. 6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. 7. Things you buy now won't wear out. 8 .You can eat supper at 5 PM . 9. You can live without sex but not your glasses. 10. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. 11. Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work. 12. The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals. 13. You feel like the morning after and you haven't been anywhere. 14. Your children begin to look middle aged. 15. You look forward to a dull evening. 16. Your favorite part of the newspaper is "20 Years Ago Today." 17. You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.

DRAIN & LEAK SOLUTIONS

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CLM©2012


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YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS...

Ridiculously high quote to sort your air/con? Call MARK Esola for a much better deal!

GAME, SET & MATCH TO MARK at ESOLA...

We have all the best deals on A-rated inverters fully fitted!

BEST PRICES GUARANTEED Domestic and Commercial Air Conditioning (Heating and Cooling) Installations F-Gas 2079 Qualified You wouldn’t choose a non-qualified engineer to install your gas products in the UK...So why would you here? All engineers required to handle HFC refrigerants must hold the new European F-Gas qualification from 4th July 2011 Card Meters and/or Sensors for air conditioning also available ideal for rented properties - STOP people abusing your electricity bill. Price on application

Tel: 952 550 323 or 616 119 007 info@esola.es


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You Know You’re Getting Old When...

18. Your back goes out more than you do. 19. You buy a compass for the dashboard of your car. 20. You have a dream about prunes. 21. You sink your teeth into a steak, and they stay there. 22. You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead. 23. You stop trying to hold your stomach in. 24. Your Pacemaker makes the garage doors go up when you see a pretty girl. 25. You are proud of your lawn mower. 26. Your friend is dating someone half his age...and isn't breaking any laws. 27. You would rather go to work than stay home sick. 28. You constantly talk about the price of petrol. 29. You enjoy hearing about other people's operations. 30. The little old gray haired lady you helped across the street is your wife. 31. You wear black socks with sandals. 32. Your ears are hairier than your head. 33. You get into a heated argument about pension plans. 34. You have a party and the neighbors don't even realise it. 35. When you bend over, you look for something else to do while you're down there. All in BIGGER print so you can read it!

• Plants: Large & Small / Outdoor & Indoor • Furniture & Decoration • Pots & Planters • Weber BBQ’s

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Camino Viejo de Coín, Km. 1.5 29651, Mijas Costa

Garden Centre


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GADGETS &Gizmo’s The Go Bone is the first Smartbone for dogs. If you’re away from home, you can put some treats into the GoBone’s wheels, and it’ll trundle about, encouraging your dog to play. The unit can be optimised to your dog’s weight, age, breed and size, and will sleep when being interacted with, so it doesn’t knock the dog’s teeth out. It even has it’s own app - You can check usage stats, win achievements, video while you play, and play a couple of pre-set games such as fetch and hide and seek. Capcom's Resident Evil 7 brings some substantial revisions to the series. Virtual reality, is just the start of the changes you'll see when it launches on PS4 early next year. The studio is taking the opportunity to rewrite the "survival horror" game concept it helped pioneer, with a more terse, psychological kind of horror game, which starts with you inside an abandoned house. The goal is to get out of there, which is mostly a matter of exploring and interacting with things inside the house. KFC's come up with a device charger in your take-out box. Just don't try to plug it in while you're fingers-deep in greasy chicken. Sadly, the promotion is currently only available in Delhi and Mumbai, India. But reports say that the charger is pretty terrible, improving just 17 percent phone life over half an hour until the box's battery was fully drained. It's safe to say we're not missing much. The "Watt A Box" charger came out of a partnership with the Mumbai-based digital agency Blink Digital, so we're unlikely to see it come to European shores anyway.

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Hasselblad officially took the wraps off of its X1D, a compact shooter with a massive 50-megapixel, medium-format CMOS sensor. That is the largest sensor we've seen on a mirrorless camera to date, opening up the category to a whole new class of enthusiasts. What's also impressive is how light the X1D is, weighing only 725 grams (roughly 1.5 lbs) without a lens attached.


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All the latest in the world of tech and gaming... The Ring Video Doorbell, a new smart doorbell has finally gone on sale. It lets you talk to visitors on your doorstep remotely, regardless of where you are. So whether you need to tell the delivery driver to leave a package under the plant pot, or simply want to know whether it’s aunt Deidre outside so you can hide behind the sofa, this device wants to put you in control of your front doorstep. The device itself is a box containing an HD camera and microphone which is then fitted outside your door.When someone comes to call, the kit then streams 720p video to your phone as well as transmitting two-way audio through its own app. This lets you ‘be in’ even if you’re out.

Yamaha's YXZ1000R SS Looks like great fun! Basically a ridiculously powerful off-road go-kart with a roll cage and a passenger seat that's located next to the driver. It is the first of its kind to feature a racing-style paddle-shift gearbox, meaning owners can now go up and down the gears like an F1 driver as they off road at mind-boggling speeds. Last year's YXZ1000R apparently opened up a whole new supersport category in the ROV world and this latest iteration has gone one step further.

Tiny1’s not trying to do anything too unusual for a camera except that it is designed to take photos of particular night skies, with an augmented reality search view, so you can find the celestial body of your choice, and Wi-Fi control via your smartphone to avoid camera shake. With just 4 MP the creators claim with 16 MP and the like, you’re essentially zooming into noise, wasting storage, and it’s no better for capturing the night sky. Turtle Beach has found to produce their Hypersound Glass prototype speakers without wires, woofers, tweeters or cones. Being directional - so you only hear what's playing when you're sat in the sweet spot meaning you can listen perfectly whilst others in the same room wont have to hear them at all if they don’t want to. It's not just good for gaming and TV, either. The tech could end up built into your PC monitor, or even your car dashboard - so you're the only person that hears sat-nav directions while the rest of the cabin is bopping along to the radio.


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PET SHOP

Ron’s New Pet...

Ron was feeling a little lonely he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet shop and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusually pet. He finally bought centipede, which came with a little white box to use for his house.

He took the box home, found a good location for it and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the pub for a drink. So he asked the centipede in the box, ‘Would you like to go down The Queen’s Head with me and have a beer?’ But there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered Ron a bit, but he waited a few mounted and then asked him again, “How about going to the pub for a drink?” But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time this time putting his face up against the centipede’s house and shouting, ‘Hey in there! Would you like to go to The Queen’s Head and have a drink with me?’ A little voice came out of the box…..

“I heard you the first time! I’m putting my blinking shoes on!”

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your MIND ownB BUSI

H T N O M E H T F BUSINESS O BUSY CARD & PARTY SHOP

This Card and Party shop has been established for ten years and is very well known in the area. It is situated in a slip road alongside the A7/N340 and is highly visible from the main road and is amongst offices, other shops cafes and bars.

COSTA S A J I M ₏ 0 0 .0 25 www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 254 222 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com

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BUSINESS SINESS

SALES

&

RENTALS

WE NEED YOUR BUSINESS We have buyers waiting

For a professional service that cares about selling your business please contact us

WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.


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your MIND ownB B U S I

Advertising your business for s NO up front fees NO hidden charges

Pool Table and Vending Machine Business Established 30 Years 600.000€

They supply pool tables and accessories, bar billiard and other game tables and also have dartboards and vending machines.

Printers Specialising in T-shirts, Signs & Promotional Items. 22.000€

Established on the Costa del Sol for 16 years. Top quality machinery that has been kept in good condition.

Choice of 2 FANTASTIC Restaurants 59.000€ - 190.000€ Between San Pedro and Estepona. Both with VERY HIGH ratings on Tripadvisor...

Well Established Radio Station 30.000€ This radio station has been established for ten years. With a brand new frequency, covering Calahonda to San Pedro.

www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 254 222 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com


July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 5:58 pm Page 39

BUSINESS S I N E S S

S A L E S

&

R E N TA L S

for sale in Spain and the UK NO advertising fees NO sale - NO fee

Popular Bar in High Profile Position In La Cala De Mijas 25.000€

Great location - highly visible from the main N340/A7. There are two terraces, one has all round toldos.

Party Photo Booth Business 37.500€

A real fun business, running for almost five years. Popular venues for this business are weddings, corporate events, work parties, birthday parties, school fates and events.

Bar Sales Company: 145.000€

This is an excellent opportunity to acquire an established family run business in a busy sunshine resort on the Costa Del Sol. With a constant flow of new enquiries for bars.

Choice of 2 from 35.000€ Car Body Shop & Sprayers, Marbella: Both in great locations in Marbella from 35.000€

WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.


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Make use of the Facilities...

A man and his wife were on a long car journey and decided to stop at a hotel and book a room for a few hours sleep. When they checked out four hours later, the receptionist handed them a bill for €150. The husband exploded and demanded to know why the bill was so high. He told the clerk that although it was a nice hotel, the rooms certainly weren’t worth €150 for four hours. When the clerk told him that €150 was the ‘standard rate’, the man insisted on speaking to the manager. The manager appeared, listened to the man then explained that the hotel had an Olympic sized pool and a huge conference center that were all available from them to use. ‘But we didn’t use them,’ the man said. ‘Well, they are here, and you could have,’ explained the manager. He went on to explain that they could also have enjoyed one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. ‘The best entertainers from around the World perform here,’ the manager said. ‘But we didn’t go to any of those shows,’ the man said. “Well, we have them, and you could have,’ the manager replied. Realising he’s getting nowhere, the man eventually gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a cheque and hands it to the manager. The manager looks at it and says. ‘But sir, this cheque is only made out for €25.’ ‘That’s correct. I charged you €125 for sleeping with my wife,’ the man replied. ‘But I didn’t!’ exclaimed the manager. ‘Well, too bad,’ said the man. ‘She was here, and you could have.’

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Stunning

4 Bed, 4 Bathroom Villa

Prime Position beside the La Resina Golf & Country Club

• 50 Meters from Club House • 50 Meters from First Tee • Amazing Location • 695.000€ Valuation • 595.000€ Direct from Owner

www.luxuryvillascostadelsol.co.uk


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July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/06/16 2:26 pm Page 44

A Man’s World

JUST FOR MEN‌

REVIEW OF HAIR REMOVAL CREAM ON AMAZON

This hilarious review was left on Amazon, for the 'Veet for Mean Hair Removal Gel Cream 200ml' product.. After having been told my danglies looked like an elderly Rastafarian I decided to take the plunge and buy some of this as previous shaving attempts had only been mildly successful and I nearly put my back out trying to reach the more difficult bits. Being a bit of a romantic I thought I would do the deed on the missus's birthday as a bit of a treat. I ordered it well in advance and working in the North Sea I considered myself a bit above some of the characters writing the previous reviews and wrote them off as soft office types... Oh my fellow sufferers how wrong I was. I waited until the other half was tucked up in bed and after giving some vague hints about a special surprise I went down to the bathroom. Initially all went well and I applied the gel and stood waiting for something to happen. I didn't have long to wait. At first there was a gentle warmth which in a matter of seconds was replaced by an intense burning and a feeling I can only describe as like being given a barbed wire wedgie by two people intent on hitting the ceiling with my head. Religion hadn't featured much in my life until that night but I suddenly became willing to convert to any religion to stop the violent burning around the turd tunnel and what seemed like the destruction of the meat and two veg. Struggling to not bite through my bottom lip I tried to wash the gel off in the sink and only succeeded in blocking the plughole with a mat of hair. Through the haze of tears I struggled out of the bathroom across the hall into the kitchen by this time walking was not really possible and I crawled the final yard to the fridge in the hope of some form of cold relief. I yanked the freezer drawer out and found a tub of ice cream, tore the lid off and positioned it under me. The relief was fantastic but only temporary as it melted fairly quickly and the fiery stabbing soon returned. Unfortunately, alerted by the strange grunts coming from the kitchen the other half chose that moment to come and investigate and was greeted by the sight of me, arse in the air, strawberry ice cream dripping from privates muttering."Ooooh, that feels good". So to sum it up: Veet removes hair, dignity and self respect...

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July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:00 pm Page 45

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July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:00 pm Page 46

A Clean Bill of Health...

Silvio, an 80-year-old Italian goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, 'How do you stay in such great physical condition?' I'm Italian and I am a golfer,' says Silvio, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a glass of vino, and all is well.' "Well" says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to It. How old was your Father when he Died?' 'Who said my Father's dead?' The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your father's still alive. How old is he? "He's 100 years old" Says Silvio. "In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little vino and that's why he's still alive. He's Italian and he's a Golfer, too." "Well" the doctor says "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your father's father? How old was he when he died?" "Who said my Nonno's dead?" Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfathers' still living! Incredible, how old is he?" "He's 118 years old" says the old Italian golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?" "No, Nonno couldn't go - This morning because he's getting married today." At this point the doctor is close to losing it. "Getting married? Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?" "Who said he wanted to get married?"

How do you stay in such great physical condition?

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Medical Tips

July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:00 pm Page 48

THE TIGER MOSQUITO ON THE COSTA DEL SOL

BY HEALTH & FITNESS COSTA DEL SOL

The tiger mosquito (Aedes albopictus), which is native to Southeast Asia, can now be found on the Costa del Sol in Andalucia, Spain. It has spread throughout the Mediterranean gradually and there are now established populations in France, Italy and Greece as well as Spain. The tiger mosquito is considered to be one of the 100 most damaging invading species in the world according to the International Union for Conservation of Nature and Natural Resources (IUCN). It can carry more than 20 exotic diseases, but even though the mosquito has the capacity to carry these diseases in order for them to do so, these diseases must be present in a mosquito carrying them in Spain. The tiger mosquito is strikingly different from other mosquitos due to its very noticeable black and white striped markings; the body of the mosquito is 2 to 10mm long depending on breeding condition and food available. The tiger mosquito season normally lasts from May until Sept / Oct in Spain but the peak month is July. The mosquito feeds during the day (especially between the hours 6am and 10am and 4pm and 10pm) males on nectar and plant juices but the females fed on blood, which they require in order to develop their eggs. Water is an essential element of the larval development process and since they have a short flight range of only 200 meter this means they are normally found near to water. They love stagnant water, old dirty swimming pools which have turned green, discarded water bottles, animal water bowls etc. etc According to specialists it is “almost impossible” to eradicate the mosquito but the population can be held in check. Campaigns are being undertaken by Spanish municipal councils to try to control localised populations. The tiger mosquito is native to Southeast Asia. It is preferably a daytime insect and bites more often at dusk and dawn than at night. It flies close to the ground and normally bites legs and ankles. Conventional repellents are effective against the tiger mosquito. If you are bitten and the pain persists apply ice and if you notice a fever visit a doctor.

LIFE CYCLE: The tiger mosquito goes through four stages in its life cycle.

The duration of these depends on the temperatures and can range between 7 and 10 days. 1. EGG STAGE: Females need water to lay eggs, they bite because they need blood for the eggs to ripen. 2. LARVA STAGE: They grow rapidly, shedding their skin four times, doubling in size in less than a week. 3. PUPA STAGE: This stage lasts between 2 to 4 days, depending on the temperature. During this phase they do not eat. 4. ADULT PHASE: The mosquito emerges from the pupa and remains on the surface of the water to dry, harden and later fly.

PREVENTATIVE MEASURES TO • Keep pools covered if not in use. • Avoid standing water in drainage • If not properly maintained normal areas, gutters, downspouts. HELP KEEP THE TIGER mosquitoes can breed, but if the • Avoid holes in the ground where MOSQUITO AT BAY • Empty, twice a week, any outside containers that can collect water such as toys, ashtrays, vases, buckets, plastic pools, etc. • Empty washing areas and small containers twice a week or cover them with a mosquito net. • Remove the plates from under plant pots. If this is not possible, empty them when full of water. • Change the water of any plants that live in water on a weekly basis. 48

water level is low, tiger mosquitoes can breed. The best option is to treat the water all year round or to cover them when not in use. • Change your pet’s water often. • Make sure that wells, cisterns, tanks or water containers are properly covered. • Cover holes in logs and branches, filling them with sand.

water can accumulate. • Eliminate any objects that can generally accumulate rainwater. • If you cannot, empty these or renovate and move the water to ensure that it is not sitting for more than 3 or 4 days. In short… NO WATER FOR THE TIGER MOSQUITO!


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Health & Well Being

July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/06/16 2:30 pm Page 50

THE 10 MOST COMMON DREAMS

EVERY NIGHT DURING SLEEP, EVERY INDIVIDUAL WILL HAVE AROUND FIVE DREAM EPISODES, WHICH CAN LAST BETWEEN 15 AND 40 MINUTES. DREAM EXPERTS EXPLAIN OUR DREAMS... Every night during sleep, every individual will have around five dream episodes, which can last between 15 and 40 minutes. Dream experts explain that our dreams mirror fundamental patterns of human behaviour. They reflect who we are, and what we need and what we believe in. The definitions of the most common dreams are not black and white. Dream symbols are presented in a metaphoric fashion. So when you are figuring out what your dreams mean, your unconscious will not spell it out for you. It’s a job for your conscious to figure out. Continued from last month...

UNABLE TO FIND A TOILET: When you have a dream where you can’t find the toilet, this can relate to something in your waking life where you may be struggling to express your needs in a certain situation. You might feel that, as you are putting others first, you are lacking time for personal issues.

UNPREPARED FOR AN EXAM:

Dreams of feeling unprepared for an exam are commonly linked to young adults or children who are under stress. They can feel so real that we wake up convinced that we just failed an important test. Test dreams are a reflection on the individual’s lack of confidence and inability to advance to the next stage in life. This type of dream is a mirror dream that has nothing to do with anyone else. At least 1 in 5 people will experience an exam dream in their lives.

OUT OF CONTROL VEHICLE:

Cars in our dreams represent our drive in life and the direction we are taking. If you dream of your car losing control you may feel that you are off track and need to get back on the road to keep going. If you lose control with someone you know

driving the car, you might feel you need to get them back on track. The person driving will help you to understand who is controlling your direction.

FINDING AN UNUSED ROOM:

If you learn of a new room in your dream it denotes new outlooks and abilities that you have realised about yourself. If the room is white it means you are ready to make a new beginning in your life, like a blank canvas ready to be painted on.

BEING LATE:

Dreaming that you are late represents your worry and anxiety about taking a different direction in your waking life. You may not be 100% confident about making a change. It may also mean that you feel like you are running out of time to get something done. Your unconscious is telling you that it is never too late to do the things you want in life.

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CHECK OUT... our website at www.costalinkmagazine.com for more health & wellbeing features


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July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:05 pm Page 52

Medical Mayhem

Giving a Sample: When my three-year-old was told to pee in a cup

at the doctor’s office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With a shaking voice, he asked, “Do I have to drink it?”

A Happy Chappie: A therapist has a theory that couples who make love once a day are the happiest. So he tests it at a seminar by asking those assembled, “How many people here make love once a day?” Half the people raise their hands, each of them grinning widely. “Once a week?” A third of the audience members raise their hands, their grins a bit less vibrant. “Once a month?” A few hands tepidly go up. Then he asks, “OK, how about once a year?” One man in the back jumps up and down, jubilantly waving his hands. The therapist is shocked—this disproves his theory. “If you make love only once a year,” he asks, “why are you so happy?” The man yells, “Today’s the day!”

A Little Exercise:

My doctor took one look at my stomach muscles and refused to believe that I work out. So I listed the exercises I do every day: jump to conclusions, climb the walls, drag my heels, push my luck, make mountains out of molehills, bend over backward, run around in circles, put my foot in my mouth, go over the edge, and beat around the bush. A very vigorous workout if I do say myself…

Therapy Working: A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotherapist’s office and declares, “Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I broke that trust and had an affair! The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it ever happened!” The hypnotherapist shakes his head. “Not again …”

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ALL REVVED UP

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UNKNOWN CLASSICS

The Goodwood Festival of Speed is no stranger to rarities – Last months festival showed some real beauties; Looking like an Alpine A108. Well, it is but just one built and sold under licence by the US firm Willys (the same Willys responsible for the Jeep) for market in South America.

This was almost the Jensen Interceptor almost. Two prototypes of the P66 were built, one a convertible and this one, a coupe, before the Norcros Group took over Jensen and insisted the Interceptor be Italian-designed. In the 1960s, TVR saw its future in a move upmarket, and to achieve this it sought to build an Italian-designed coupe, built around its familiar American V8 mechanicals. The Trident Fissore was the result; four were built, but the project was scrapped when the company went bust in 1965. An AC 428 is a rare beast; a Coupe even more so. The 428 was always going to struggle, costing almost twice as much as a Jaguar E-Type, but it was still a lovely thing, with crisp lines and a vast Ford V8 under the bonnet.

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This rakish Rolls was designed for the American market, and displayed on a stand at the New York Motor Show by coachbuilder J. S. Inskip Inc in 1937. It was never intended to be registered in the UK, but was later returned to London and restored.


July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:05 pm Page 55

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July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:06 pm Page 56

Utterly Nutterly Caramel Layer Cake Ingredients:

A Little Tricky - Serves 8

• 250g salted butter, softened • 175g Brazil nuts, hazelnuts, pecans & almonds, roughly chopped • 250g soft light brown sugar • 3 tbsp golden syrup •4 large egg • 140g self-raising flour • 75g ground almond • ½ tsp baking powder • 1 tsp almond extract • 3 tbsp milk

For the filling

• 200ml double cream •5 tbsp caramel, from a can (we used Carnation)

1) Heat oven to 180C/160C fan/gas 4. Line 2 x 20cm loosebottomed Victoria sandwich cake tins with baking parchment, then grease one of the tins over the top of the parchment (this will help to prevent the caramel-nut topping from sticking when you turn it out). Tip the nuts into a frying pan and toast over a medium heat until golden. Add 50g of the butter, 50g sugar, the golden syrup and a good pinch of salt. Stir until the butter has melted, then bubble for 2 mins until the buttery sauce is golden brown – don’t let it bubble for too long or the topping will set hard once cooled. Tip into the cake tin with the greased parchment and smooth over. Leave to cool while you make the cake. 2) Tip the remaining butter and sugar into a large bowl and beat with an electric whisk until pale and fluffy. Add the eggs, one at a time, mixing well between each addition. Add the flour, almonds, baking powder, 1⁄2 tsp salt, almond extract and milk, and mix again until just combined. Divide the cake mixture between the tins and smooth over the surface. Bake for 25 mins, or until a skewer comes out clean. Leave to cool in the tins for 10 mins, then flip out onto a wire rack and remove the parchment. Allow to cool completely. 3) Whisk the cream and 2 tbsp of the caramel until softly whipped and just holding its shape. To assemble the cake, place the plain cake on a plate or stand. Top with the whipped cream, swirling it out towards the edges. Drizzle over the remaining caramel (give it a good mix first to loosen it), letting it dribble down the sides. Top with the remaining sponge, nutty-side up. Serve within 1 day, or store in fridge for 3 days, removing it from the fridge 10 mins before serving.

Method:

is your business being noticed?

we can help. .

call the costa link team 56

tel: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669 email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com

Harry’s Sports Bar

All Live Sports & Premiere League Football. Six TV’s & Big Screen. Full menu... Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10am-late, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda


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Stran

Strange Strangebuttrue...

July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 26/06/16 2:33 pm Page 58

STRANGE LAWS IN SCOTLAND Continued from last month... There are a number of ancient laws that were put in place in Scotland that, technically speaking, that have not been repealed. However, prosecutions for these types of laws are non-existent these days and, even in the past, were extremely rare. In some cases motions weren’t even legally passed due to the common law element of the Scottish system.

4.Scottish homeowners are legally obliged to allow anyone who knocks on their door to use their toilet- for centuries it was illegal to trespass in England but not in Scotland. However, it appears as though this ‘Law’ was little more than a tradition, or polite custom. 5. The head of any dead whale found on the

Scottish coast automatically becomes the property of the king, and the tail of the 3. It is is illegal to sexually assault a drinks queen. trolley- There is no specific for this, but as Any Scotsman found to be wearing recently as 2013 a rail passenger travelling 6. underwear beneath his kilt can be fined two between Aberdeen and Glasgow was cans of beer. Surely a fairly recent invention, charged with a criminal offence of proposigiven the beer can’s advent in 1935, this has tioning and then manhandling a catering cropped up time and time again and is, we trolley in a lewd fashion. Other Scots have suspect, tongue in cheek - not least found themselves in similar trouble for simbecause we couldn’t envisage anyone ilar attempts on traffic cones, a frozen being employed to enforce this law. chicken, shoes and the pavement.

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July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:06 pm Page 60

FINANCIAL NEWS The Euro & World Round Up

THE OUTCOME OF THE BREXIT

The Brexit vote has caused Sterling to fall by 11 cents against the Euro and 16 cents against the US Dollar as the Pound went into free fall after the result was announced. This has led to huge demand from clients looking to sell Euros or US Dollars into Sterling. The vote to Leave the European Union caused a big surprise to financial markets as bookies had given odds of 10-1 on that the UK would vote to Remain just hours before the results came in. Prime Minister David Cameron has also announced his resignation, which will take place in October, so we have another four months of political uncertainty as well as the

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economic uncertainty surrounding the European Union issue. Currency does not like uncertainty and with yesterday’s results this is what caused the Pound to suffer. We could see further struggles for Sterling in the month. Credit ratings agency Moody’s has downgraded the UK’s credit rating outlook to negative as the uncertainty of the vote is likely to lead to big falls in GDP and cause the UK’s economy to struggle. The result of the referendum could also see a second independence referendum in Scotland, as the vote to stay in the European Union in Scotland was huge. Sterling is likely continue to come under pressure at the

beginning of this month so anyone looking to buy pounds is likely to have an extended period of opportunity until it’s understood the wider implications of a Brexit. In the mean time, existing agreements with the EU will remain frozen until article 50 is triggered. Which may not be for some time. That being said, the UK is vulnerable to economic releases, changes in consumer spending and given that inflation is 0.4%, there are concerns by some that the UK may fall into recession.


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What’s On Guide...

June 7th to July 31st 2016: Mamma Mia is on in Malaga A musical that has made more than 60 million people worldwide fall in love with its positive energy. The Musical, based on ABBA’s well-known songs, tells the story of a mother, a daughter and three possible fathers reunited at a wedding they’ll never forget. for more info call: Tel 952 22 41 09 on at Teatro Cervantes, Calle Ramos Marin, Málaga. July 5th to July 11th 2016: Feria, Estepona to be held on the feria ground at the top of the town Fireworks & Fair rides here plus lots more... (Many businesses will be working shorter hours during this week). July 6th to July 9th 2016: Beach Festival in Torre del Mar for the teenagers, one of the major music festivals in Spain. For more information see www.weekendbeach.es July 12th 2016: Full Moon Festival - Manilva and Sabinillas beaches will host a magic full moon festival. There will be jugglers, acrobats, fire, flying lanterns and much more. July 16th 2016: Virgin del Carmen - Andalucía. The Virgin is the patron saint of the fishermen. Many places have fiestas and parades the biggest ones of the costa are in Estepona, Marbella & Fuengirola. July 18th 2016: Seal is perfoming at the Club de Tenis Puente Romano. For more imformation and ticket go to: www.crazymusicproductions.koobin.com July 14th to 19th August 2016: Starlight Festival, the favourite stage for international stars huge array of top stars are descending over Marbella including: Tom Jones, Il Divo, Status Quo, The Corrs to name but a few. It's location on the open-air nature, with perfect acoustics an amazing venue it’s a event not to be missed in Marbella – see page 63 for more details. Every Monday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa 11am -12.30pm. Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis. Every Monday: Age Concern Drop In for a coffee and a chat at The Captain’s bar Urb. Las Adelfas No. 11 from 11.30am to 1.00pm. Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771. Every Tuesday: Age Care Coffee Morning at the Baptist Church, Calahonda, where people can chat, share experiences & take part in a variety of activities. Tel: 952 933 409 for info. 11 am – 1 pm. Every Tuesday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for Spanish lessons in the afternoon from 3.00pm until 3.45pm. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Wednesday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain held in Fuengirola at the Bar Salon Varietes. 11am -12.30pm. Every Thursday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for advice, support and friendship from 11.00am until 1.00pm. Pop in and meet new people and make new friends. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Thursday: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain held in The Pensioner's Bar, Paseo Maritimo La Cala from 11am-12.30pm. Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Thursday: Flea Market from 9am next to Aldi in Las Lagunas, plenty of parking. Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Friday: Age Concern meet at El Caballo de Oro in La Cala from 11.30 until 1.00pm. In the main square behind Supersol. Advice, support and friendship. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm. Every Sunday: Craft Market in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm.

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If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know... email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com phone: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669


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July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:26 pm Page 64

ocal Info Emergency Numbers

---

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

Medical

112 091 092 062

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Health Centres

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Consulates

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

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Transport

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus

Markets

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday -Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground. Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Calypso (Mijas Costa). Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) & Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring). La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La CaĂąada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis

Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates

4th July 2016: Independence Day.

5th - 10th July 2016: Feria, Estepona. (Many businesses will be working shorter hours during this week). 16th July 2016: Virgin del Carmen - AndalucĂ­a. The Virgin is the patron saint of the fishermen. Many places have fiestas and parades the biggest ones of the costa are in Estepona, Marbella & Fuengirola.

check out our website www.costalinkmagazine.com for cinema listings in VOSE


July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:26 pm Page 65

Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218 Before

After

Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info


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S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during July 2016...

Capricorn

Aquarius

Aquarius, Venus and Jupiter are in a romantic mood this month offering you opportunities abound. If you're already committed, your love life is full of harmony and cheer; you achieve things together (getting engaged, a wedding, a trip you've been dying for, financial or social success, and so on). Or your loved one could enjoy success that also benefits you. If you're single, chances are you'll meet someone. Make new friends, meet new people, be social! It's a dynamic and busy month. The Sun, Mars, and Mercury helping you at work in July 2016. Mars gives work an alert pace and makes it efficient. The Sun grants you authority and self-reliance in your field and brings you in the spotlight. Mercury sharpens your intellectual and communicational skills, brings new ideas and small changes. Because July 2016 seems to be a stressful month, you mustn't neglect your health.

Pisces

Pisces, July is going to be a very busy month it has HUGE romantic potential. Mars give you the instinct to win over anyone, but also gives you confidence to take the first steps, and jump head first into passion. The Sun gives you lots of vitality and Mercury enhances the need for something new and exciting. July 2016 can also mark the beginning of a term with interesting developments; important ones as far as relationships go. July 2016 is active and prosperous. You work heartily and you're efficient. Everything you do comes out right and creative-artistic pursuits, where you need to be expressive and talented, are successful. You're on a roll financially. Issues may arise involving carelessness and excesses. Try to keep monitoring your health and take time off when you can time to relax.

Aries

Aries, Mars, is in Scorpio this month let’s just say expect the unexpected! During this term your love life will be busy filled with passion, and love affairs; also amorous liaisons. On the work front July 2016 beckons you undoubtedly more in the direction of holidays and having fun than that of hard work. Your creativity will be stimulated it is an excellent time for presentations the launch of any new ideas and promotions. During July 2016 your finances are motivating or stress inducing. Either way, they push you toward action and/or decisions. Enjoy today and don’t worry about small or insignificant things. It’s a great time for getting out and about, why not take up a new fitness regime or pick up on the old one that has been pushed to the back of your mind in recent months. If you’ve been pondering about something… Then optimism returns in abundance during the second part of the month.

Taurus

Gemini 66

Capricorn, expect your love life is very active in July 2016. That's because the Sun, Mars and Mercury are invigorating and energizing your path. Your reactions can be prompt and immediate, your actions gutsy, events and situations decisive. By large, your role is that of initiator. You'd rather take the first step than wait for things to happen in their own course. Sometimes you might be too rash or tactless, or your partner might be more impulsive than usual. Patience and communication are must-haves. Venus is close to Jupiter in your sign meaning that you make complex plans that have a significant financial stake. But for now you shouldn't go too far, because Venus starts its retrograde motion on July 25 2016, and things might not add up in the end of the month. You're still vulnerable to unforeseen risks throughout July 2016, so avoid excesses and imprudence.

Taurus, July 2016 sees all the issues of the last few months solved, a situation is settled, and things are cleared-up. After resuming its direct motion on June 30th, Mars will give you the courage to take a decisive step or to move along in a situation that’s been niggling you for a while. On the work front collaborations are big news during July 2016. You have the ability to set others in motion, to get them interested in your plan and work with you to achieve the same goal. July 2016 is excellent for traveling particularly so during the first half. The second part of the month brings an interest in decorating your home and gardening. Money will just roll on in most of the time; earnings will be great this month. You do pretty well in regard to health throughout July 2016. Although it wouldn’t hurt to make an effort to be more active get outdoors make the most of the weather!

Gemini, things are complicated at the moment, but better than the last few months. Saturn has been in your sign for a while now and will stay there for another year or so; it brings with it frustrations or just simply boringness with it. But during July 2016, especially after the 12th, positive aspects return via Mercury, Venus, and the Sun they will bring emotional fulfillment or success. Things are looking up! At work although demanding and stressful, July 2016 enters a path of efficiency and profitability. Mars in your sign brings with it a lot of energy and initiative this will in turn create action. Mars, Mercury, Venus, and the Sun, will be in your sign this month. These multiple transits will bring with them a month that’s very active financially. July 2016 looks like a dynamic month in terms of health. It could a great time to take on a new healthy lifestyle, get running or out on a bike have fun this July.


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Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Cancer, until July 12th 2016, Venus, planet of love is in your sign. The first part of the month is great for romance - finding love and happiness if you are single now is a great time to find that special someone “the one”!!! On the work front the month has a lot of potential for professional success. The Sun spreads vitality and shines on you for the first two weeks of the month. Everything you so is influential everything you say gains you admiration. Money comes to you easily also during the last two weeks of the month Mercury, Venus, and the Sun enter your sign creating harmonious aspects. Finally, Mars is very well situated, promising luck and opportunity. You feel in shape, energy and optimism are flooding through you. You’re active and full of drive make the most of the summer months get out an about. Leo, if the first week of July 2016 seems disappointing don’t worry! Things will take a turn for the better on July 12th when Venus, planet of love and harmony, enters your sign. Venus brings you charm and very favorable circumstances for love. Venus heightens understanding and helps those looking for love to find it. Venus entering Leo gives you the advantage not only on the love front but also professionally. Meaning that it’s appearance brings you more opportunities for success and prestige, starting with July 12th 2016. Financially, you’re ahead of the game particularly during the second part of the month, but you shouldn’t squander away. During the first part of July 2016 you might not feel quite at 100%. You function pretty well, but need more rest and don’t have great stamina. The height of physical shape is reached during the third week. You’ll be ready to set the world on fire again! Virgo, Jupiter is in your sign and emphasizing the significance of life as a couple. It could bring you opportunities, but could also induce disproportionate expectations. It wouldn’t hurt to be a little more pragmatic if you don’t want to find yourself on that single shelf again. That being said, July 2016 starts out promisingly with Venus bringing luck. The second and third weeks of the month are somewhat lackluster, even drab. In regard to prestige and status, July 2016 is bigging you up! Venus, Mercury, and the Sun heighten your popularity and bring protection from the powerful and support from everyone else. You can gain extra money from your knowledge and information you given in your field of experience. You’re in good shape during the first half of July 2016, after which point you begin to gradually feel disheartened and lacking energy. Your physical endurance is much diminished during the last week of July 2016 - treat this time with caution. Libra, July is going to bring with it a slightly rough patch when it comes to relationships. Mars is in a prominent position in July 2016, but not exactly a favorable one. It's also in a stressful aspect with Uranus and Pluto. This configuration might give rise to challenges, tensions or even conflicts. Expect your professional life is very busy this month. The Sun and Mars, in your sign give you a lot of determination and a dynamic, offensive attitude. Nothing can stand in your way when you've set an objective for yourself. Others perceive you as a person of authority, with initiative, competitive. You get very worked up, you have to deal with complex challenges, and your energy is limited. You should slow down and think if it's worth it to work yourself into a burnout in order to achieve your ambitions. Don't forget that in order to flourish and be happy you need harmony!

Scorpio, Venus is in the highest point of your solar chart, together with Jupiter. Under these circumstances, some of your wildest romantic dreams might come true. So July 2016 is a favorable for you when it comes to making relationships official or improving your social standing through connections. By large, things are looking good. Be careful not to ask too much of your loved one. Don't use someone who loves you to achieve your goals! July 2016 is a splendid month for Scorpios in terms of career. Benefices, Venus and Jupiter, shine their light on your career. The combination is the most favorable and the luckiest one. It brings success, opportunities and benevolence from bosses and figures of authority. Keep close watch on your health! Try to relax when you can and make the most of the sunshine…

Sagittarius, the first two weeks of July 2016 have a strong romantic streak for your sign. That's because Venus, planet of love, is close to Jupiter, the ruler of Sagittarius. You hate solitude, you love society, hanging out with friends, and you want to share everything with your loved one more than ever. You might travel with your loved one during July 2016, have an affair with someone from far away or take a trip that's very significant emotionally. At work you are motivated by and interested in business, money or assets. Longdistance collaborations could be crowned with success. You're on an upward spiral. Don't overspend or get in over your head financially! Your mood is pretty fickle in July 2016. Cheerfulness and optimism alternate with irritation and a tendency to worry over the most minute of things. Try to get over these feelings as look to the future, not worry over small niggles.


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July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:26 pm Page 69


July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:27 pm Page 70

puzzle Link The Words

Solutions on page 80

it out

In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can either precede or follow each word linking them:

1)

____

3)

_____

2) 4) 5)

PLOUGH

DROP

FLAKE

RINGS

SPANISH

BUD

SENSATION

_ _ _ __ _

BLUE

KNIFE

_____

WORTHY

FUND

_____

SPRING GOOD

BOARD

NATIONAL

Guess The Celeb

A

B

Sudoku

Brain Teaser TEST THE OLD GREY MATTER... Q. You are thrown into a den with very hungry lions they haven’t eaten in three years – There is no way to escape them... How do you survive? Q. An antique dealer sees and extremely valuable Chinese vase in a flea market haggles with the seller and manages to buy the vase at just 10€. He buys it and instantly smashes it to the ground – why?

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Crossword

Across: 7. Glamour plus vitality (7) 9. Proficient (5) 10. One can lend one (3) 11. Beggar (9) 12. Hairnet (5) 14. Ill-defined (7) 16. Construed (7) 18. Radical (5) 19. Penny-pincher (9) 20. Poetic contraction (3) 21. Mountain ridge (5) 22. Arthur's slayer (7) Down: 1. Placated (8) 2. Shade of blue (4) 3. Body of Jewish law (6) 4. Lunatic (6) 5. Sybaritic (8) 6. Proofreader's mark (4) 8. Meditative discipline (3,8) 13. Decreed (8) 15. Queen song Bohemian (8) 17. The daily grind? (6) 18. Favourable trend (6) 19. Thick, strong pole (4) 20. Sea bird (4)

Name The Film

A Staring Hugh Grant as a simple bookshop B owner he life changes when he meets the most famous film star in the world (1999).

The story of King George VI of the United Kingdom, his ascension to the throne and the speech therapist who helped the unsure monarch become worthy of it (2010).

Say What You See...

JOBS in JOBS

TISTITCHME

agent agent


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The Jokespage

Jokespage

Pinocchio was receiving complaints from his girlfriend about consummating their passions. ‘She said that every time we make love she gets splinters,’ he told Gipetto, the carpenter. ‘Sandpaper, my boy, that’s what you need’ was the carpenter’s response. A couple of weeks later the carpenter met Pinocchio. ‘How are you getting on with the girls now?’ he asked. ‘Who needs girls?’ replied Pinocchio. Beth was telling her friend Sophie about her home life. “My husband was unhappy with what he called ‘my mood swings’. He bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.” “What does it do?” asked Sophie. “Well,” said Beth, “we’ve discovered that when I’m in a good mood, it turns green. When I’m in a bad mood, it leaves a ****ing great big red mark on his forehead.” An old lady was walking home from her friend’s when a mugger surprised her. “Give me your money!” He shouted. “I haven’t got any,” she replied. “Come here,” he said, grabbing at her handbag, He looked through her purse and found nothing. Next he reached into her pockets to try and find some. Then he frisked her everywhere – through her clothes, in her bra and control top tights – but still found nothing. Annoyed, the mugger turned away and started to head off. The old lady called after him, “Come back here and keep trying – I can write you a cheque

Sitting by the window in her convent, Sister Immaculate noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamppost below. Quickly she wrote, “Don’t despair, Sister Immaculate” on a piece of paper, wrapped a €20 note in it and dropped it out of the window. The stranger picked it up and, with a puzzled 72

expression and tip of his hat, went off down the street. The next day Sister Immaculate was told that a man was at the door, insisting on seeing her. She went down and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her an envelope stuffed with money. “What’s this?” she asked. “That’s the €120 you won. Don’t despair came in at five to one?”!”

On a long coach trip, Mrs. Johnson became extremely queasy from motion sickness. She made her way to the on-board toilet, only to find it occupied. She went back to her seat, laid her head back and tried to fight off the nausea. Unfortunately her condition didn’t pass and she threw up on the lap of the man who was dozing next to her. It was some time later before he awoke. When he did, he was alarmed to find himself covered in vomit. Mrs. Johnson turned to him and said calmingly, “There, there; did your nap make you feel any better?”


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R

ana ealty sl

....making your dreams our reality tel: 670 910 904

www.rana-realty.com | info@rana-realty.com

We Need More Properties to Sell LD

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• Buyers Waiting • Relations with Leading Spanish Banks • Finance Options

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Want to Sell Your Spanish Property? So DO We! Make the Move... ...Talk to the Frog

Rana Realty S.l. Local 11 & 12, Lomas del Puerto, Cabopino, Marbella 29604

costalinkmagazine©2016


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under the sea... Give Marlin, Nem o & Dory Some Colour

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U H I N S R U E G W F A A I U U H I I F Y N K L N M L F T L R K Y R Q L X S S E K A Y A B S H U L P E D H M G Y N I T S F D G C I I A T O L N Y O U L B K J E N Q A F R R Y J S K Y K S A M Y L Y S R C

marlin gill dory jenny flo charlie destiny bailey hank Can you find Dory & friends in the wordsearch?


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What do sea monsters eat? Fish and ships Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom! Where do killer whales get their dental work done? At the orca-dontist!

What fish goes up the river at 100mph ? A motor pike!

DOT TO DOT....

Connect the dots to find Hank in the sand!


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Advertising

Costa Link Magazine www.costalinkmagazine.com info@costalinkmagazine.com t: 951 254 222 or m: 663 061 669 Key Media Group - Page 15 www.keymediagroup.net info@keymediagroup.net t: 952 934 805 or m: 666 666 998

Air Conditioning

Costa del Solutions - Page 13 www.costadelsolutions.com t: 951 203 881 Esola Systems - Page 27 info@esola.es t: 952 550 323 or m: 616 119 007

Building Services

Andalucia Glass & Steal - Page 47 www.andaluciaglass.com info@andaluciaglass.com t: 951 279 278 Advasol Home Reforms - Page 24 www.advasolsolution.com info@advasolsolutions.com t: 951 965 309 or m: 664 871 133 Costa del Solutions - Page 13 www.costadelsolutions.com t: 951 203 881 Elite Glass Curtains - Page 59 www.eliteglasscurtains.com info@eliteglasscurtains.com t: 952 830 503 or m: 630 625 085 Fortress Security Spain - Page 34 www.fortresssecurityspain.com fortress@telefonica.net t: 952 931 128

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Business

Building Services Continued

Provent Windows - Page 52 t: 951 933 330 m: 722 444 100 www.proventwindows.com White Design - Pages 18 & 19 www.whitedesignco.com info@whitedesignco.com t: 952 494 155 or m: 600 583 673

Business Sales & Rentals

Mind Your Own Business - Pages 36 to 39 www.business-sales-spain.com info@business-sales-spain.com t: 951 254 222 or m: 663 061 669

Computer Services

Costasys - Pages 32 & 33 www.costasys.com | info@costasys.com t: 952 939 592

Entertainment

Starlite Marbella- Page 63 t: 902 750 787 www.starlitemarbella.com

Garden Centres

Garden Centre Linda Vista - Page 58 www.gardecentrelindavista.com t: 952 785 206 La Vega - Page 28 www.viveroslavega.com administracion@viveroslavega.com t: 952 581 247

Advertise your business in our new on-line business directory for only 95₏ a year! info@costalinkmagazine.com t: 951 254 222 or m: 663 061 669

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Glass Curtains

Andalucia Glass & Steal - Page 47 www.andaluciaglass.com info@andaluciaglass.com t: 951 279 278 Elite Glass Curtains - Page 59 www.eliteglasscurtains.com info@eliteglasscurtains.com t: 952 830 503 or m: 630 625 085 Provent Windows - Page 52 t: 951 933 330 m: 722 444 100 www.proventwindows.com

Furniture Suppliers

The Bedding Warehouse - Page 29 www.bedwarehousespain.com bedwarehousespain@hotmail.com t: 952 582 872 m: 634 187 700 or 600 633 986 White Design - Pages 18 & 19 www.whitedesignco.com info@whitedesignco.com t: 952 494 155 or m: 600 583 673

Hair and Beauty

Muse Hair & Beauty - Pages 82 & 83 musemijasgolf@gmail.com t: 629 20 94 79

Health and Wellbeing

Alhaurin Dental Centre - Page 51 www.alhaurindentalcentre.com dentistalhaurin@gmail.com m: 654 996 026 39 Sanitas Healthplan - Page 49 www.healthplanspain.com info@healthplanspain.com t: 951 255 737

Insurance Services

Business

Sanitas Healthplan - Page 49 www.healthplanspain.com info@healthplanspain.com t: 951 255 737

Interior Design Services

White Design - Pages 18 & 19 www.whitedesignco.com info@whitedesignco.com t: 952 494 155 or m: 600 583 673

Locksmiths

Pharaoh Locksmiths, Mijas Costa pharaoh1@terra.com t: 617 921 824

Marble Floor Polishing

Marble Floor Care - Page 65 www.marblefloor.info m: 654 589 218

Mechanics

No1 Cars Marbella - Page 2 www.no1carsmarbella.com t: 952 926 544/ 952 898 603 m: 675 530 409

Metal Works

Fortress Security Spain - Page 34 www.fortresssecurityspain.com t: 952 931 128 Iron Works - Page 3 www.ironworksinspain.com ironworksinspain@yahoo.co.uk m: 678 691 393

Pet Care

Cat and Dog World - Page 46 www.cat-and-dog-world.com info@cat-and-dog-world.com t: 952 112 978 or m: 630 197 435 FAMA - Page 46 www.famaspain.com t: 620 354 885


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Plumbers

Removal Companies

Printing & Print Services

Restaurants & Bars

Drain and Leak Solutions - Page 26 www.drainandleak.com t: 951 310 111 or m: 651 111 005 Eyeprint - Page 84 www.eyeprint.es t: 952 906 121 Nueva Andalucia t: 951 310 395 Cabopino Please Quote CostaLink ndi3 Printing - Page 57 www.ndi3printing.com sales@ndi3printing.com

Property Sales, Rental & Management

Claxton Homes - Page 61 www.claxtonhomes.com info@claxtonhomes.com m: 656 476 887 Costa del Home - Page 42 & 43 www.costadelhome.com Costa Rents - Pages 20 & 21 www.costarents.com | info@costarents.com t: 671 093 925 Hilltop Property Services S.L. - Page 35 info@hilltopprops.net t: 951 978 046 m: 600 795 113 Mind Your Own Business - Pages 36 to 39 www.business-sales-spain.com info@business-sales-spain.com t: 951 254 222 or m: 663 061 669 Rana Reality - Page 73 www.rana-reailty.com info@rana-reailty.com m: 670 910 904 REAS Accredited Agency - Pages 68 & 69 www.reas.es Villa for Sale - Page 41 www.luxuryvillascostadelsol.co.uk

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Business

The Removal People- Page 55 karl.theremovalpeople@gmail.com t: 633 855 516

Barboru Restaurant - Page 56 t: 952 933 158 www.barboru.com Harry’s Sports Bar - Page 64 CaboPizza - Page 17 www.cabopizza.es t: 952 831 372 India Lucia, Torrenueva - Page 65 www.indialucia.hpage.com t: 951 407 695 Indian Ocean, Playa Marina - Page 52 www.indialnocean1.hpage.com t: 952 667 322 or m: 635 055 686 Sai Indian Restaurant - Page 22 wwwsairestaurant.es t: 951 254 401 m: 600 098 369

Satellite Television

Costasys IPTV Packages - Page 32 & 33 www.costasys.com/iptv.htm info@costasys.com t: 952 939 592 Focus Home Entertainment - Page 12 m: 664 354 545 GBTV - Page 65 m: 603 258 751 Oakley Automated Living - Page 81 hello@oakleyal.com www.oakleyal.com m: 671 788 241


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Satellite Television Continued

Orbit - Page 35 info@orbitsl.com www.orbitsl.com t: 952 802 457 m: 654 758 415 The Sky Doctor - Page 45 www.theskydoctor.com info@theskydoctor.com t: 952 763 840 or m: 635 400 099 TV-One - Pages 81 www.tvonespain.com info@tvonespain.com t: 951 310 437

Shops

Boutique Nicole - Pages 10 & 11 t: 952 927 245 Curtain & Bedding Shop - Page 23 www.curtainandbeddingshop.com thecurtainandbeddingshop@hotmail.com t: 952 897 477 Just Baked Bakery - Page 14 t: 662 464 502 The Frock Exchange - Page 9 t: 689 119 520

Signs

Telephone and Internet Services

Costasys IPTV Packages - Page 32 & 33 www.costasys.com/iptv.htm info@costasys.com t: 952 939 592 JetNet - Page 22 t: 900 585 858 Orbit - Page 35 info@orbitsl.com t: 952 802 457 or m:654 758 415

Vending Machines

Superpool - Page 44 www.superpoolspain.com paul@superpoolspain.com m: 629 530 233

Web Design

Key Media Group - Page 15 www.keymediagroup.net info@keymediagroup.net t: 952 934 805 or m: 666 666 998 Spanglish Webs - Page 60 www.spanglishwebs.com info@spanglishwebs.com m: 691 660 187

Window Cleaning Service

Sign D Sign - Page 16 www.signdsign1.com info@signdsign1.com m: 603 464 582

Swimming Pool Services

Business

Steve Reynolds - Page 65 stevereynolds2009@hotmail.com t: 677 711 324

Advasol - Page 24 www.advasolsolution.com info@advasolsolutions.com t: 951 965 309 or m: 664 871 133

Wine On-Line

Wines 4 Fun - Page 7 www.wines4fun.com t: 952 230 888

How to Contact Costa Link Magazine info@costalinkmagazine.com t: 951 254 222 or m: 663 061 669

www.costalinkmagazine.com


July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:36 pm Page 80

puzzle Trivia Quiz Answers 1) Nitrous Oxide 2) Prune 3) William Golding 4) Royal flush 5) Captain Hook 6) Saint Petersburg 7)Rickets 8) Emma Watson 9) Piccadilly Circus 10) Centaur 11) Sardine 12) Calligraphy 13) Battle of Waterloo 14)Fourteen 15) Captain William Bligh 16) Rhode Island 17) March 18) Tim Peake 19) Joey 20) Emirati Dirham 21) Cycling 22) Mountain Ash 23) Au 24) Pigs 25) Stephen Hawkins 26) Brussels 27) Sixty-four 28) Hair (Keratin) 29) Constantinople 30)Eddie Jones

Answers from 24, 70 & 71

it out

Link The Words 1) Snow 2) Cheese 3) Onion 4) Trust 5) Taste

Guess The Celeb a) Peter Andre b) Kaley Cuoco

Brain Teaser

Test the old grey matter... A. The Lions are all dead – they haven’t eaten in three years and died of starvation. A. The dealer already had an identical vase which was worth a fortune as it was believed to be the only one in The World.

Crossword Solution

Sudoku Solution

Name The Film

a) Notting Hill (1999) b) The King's Speech(2010)

Say What You See 1) In Between Jobs

80

2) A Stitch in Time 3) Double Agent


July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:38 pm Page 81


July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:38 pm Page 82

Newly opened in April 2016

At MUSE Hair and Beauty we offer something different

The salon is large and modern with a very welcoming atmosphere and caters for all age groups Something more than just the average salon


July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:38 pm Page 83

We are all English speaking but can also coverse in Spanish, German and French CHECK OUT our daily summer sizzler deals on

MUSE The source of artiic inspiration Telephone: 629 20 94 79 Follow us on :Musemijasgolf

Muse Hair and Beauty, Mijas Golf (at the end of the BBQ area) Camino de CoĂ­n, Mijas Costa

Muse is located at the foot of Mijas Golf


July 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 25/06/16 6:38 pm Page 84


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