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January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:19 pm Page 1

January 2016 N°106

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Happy New Year!!!

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Ed’s Note..

Happy New Year! - Where on earth did 2015 disappear too? We hope you all had a fantastic Christmas and that you’re not paying too heavily now for your over indulgences in the form of credit card bills and diets but hey, it wouldn’t be January without them! If you are anything like me, many of your New Year’s resolutions will already be long forgotten, even as you drag yourself out of bed on New Years Day, but you will still have ridiculously high aspirations of planning to be two stone lighter by February, that one never changes! Well, I for one love the feeling of fresh starts that a new year brings, planning your year ahead and all your aims and aspirations. So what better way to cheer yourself up from the January blues than with a read of this very magazine. Have a great month and enjoy!

in the January Magazine...

A Man’s World: “Complete” or “finished”…? Plus a great trick with a glass of water!

Medical Section... The A-Z of medical healthcare on the Costa del Sol. If you need any advise on any medical matter look here...

All revved up - 2016 Promises to be an exciting year for new car releases, take a look at the ones we are looking forward to most....

What’s On Guide.... Lots going on this month the Three Kings will be out in force on the 5th the MIMA kids fair in Malaga, plus much more!

Solutions on page 76 Puzzle It Out... Puzzles galore challenge those little grey cells.

HOW TO CONTACT US Call: 951 254 222 or 663 061 669 Email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com Website: www.costalinkmagazine.com Facebook: www.facebook.com/costa.link.spain Whatsapp: 663 061 669 or Tweet: @costa_link

Double the trouble this month The Good Dinosaur fun packed kids page...

Business Directory... Can’t find that all-important contact information see page 72.

Like Us

Solutions on page 76 Pit your brains against the TRIVIA QUIZ, questions for all ages from 6 -116!

The Jokes Page: Laugh out loud or get some giggles on page 68!!!

Facebook

Women’s World... A few observations that will make you lol!

No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2015.

to advertise in costa link magazine please call 951 254 222 or 663 061 669

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January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:19 pm Page 8

A Woman’s World

A Fairytale for the Assertive Woman Once upon a time, in a land far away....

A beautiful, independent, self assured princess, happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating which chocolate to choose from the box on the shores of an pretty pond in a meadow near her castle. A frog hopped into the Princess' lap and said: “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup house in yon castle with my Mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so." That night, whilst eating -a meal of lightly sautéed frogs legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: "I don't think so!`”

Just a thought....

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it will always be yours. If it doesn’t come back, it was never yours to begin with. But, if it sits in your living room, messes up your stuff, eats you out of house and home, uses your telephone, takes your money, and doesn’t appear to realise that you set it free….. Then you either married it or gave birth to it!

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January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:19 pm Page 10

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CBB 2016 HOT GOSS!

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p i s z s i o b G Show

CELEBRITY BIG BROTHER 2016: WHICH STARS ARE RUMOURED TO BE HOUSEMATES? As we reported last month DANIELLA WESTBROOK is a very lightly to be in the CBB 2016 house, the rumour mill is wheezing away the speculation has already started! But who will be popping into the famous bungalow this month?

GEMMA COLLINS (The Only Way is Essex star). No, Gemma hasn't already done Celebrity Big Brother. It just feels like it: the TOWIE star is no stranger to reality shows (who could forget her bruised bosom on Splash?) but she's now reportedly hoping to appear on one of the biggest. Likelihood rating: 4/5 OLA JORDAN (Former Strictly Come Dancing professional dancer) This was always going to happen. Ola's now officially quit Strictly, so of course the bookies have pounced and slashed her odds of appearing on CBB. Likelihood rating: 4/5 HULK HOGAN (Former professional wrestler) Hulk's another celeb who always gets linked to the show, he has said would go in if the money was right. Likelihood rating: 2/5

KOO STARK (Actress - and Prince Andrew's exgirlfriend) Koo is an actress who appeared in the erotic movie Emily; she also filmed scenes for Star Wars (which were later cut) and popped up in an episode of Red Dwarf. But is she really a big enough name? Likelihood rating: 2/5 VANILLA ICE (Rapper and actor) Vanilla Ice is such prime Celebrity Big Brother material - and he's been on Dancing On Ice and The Farm, so hes's no stranger to UK reality shows. Likelihood rating: 5/5 Other names include: SPENCER MATTHEWS Made in Chelsea, DAPPER LAUGHS Comedian, JAMES LOCK TOWIE, SELINA WATERMANSMITH The Apprentice, DARREN DAY West End star and TV presenter, LADY COLIN CAMPBELL Socialite and recent I'm a Celebrity contestant...

Celebrity Big Brother returns on January 5th at 9pm on Channel 5.

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HOT TV GOSS!

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p i s s z i o b G how S

BRIDGET JONES THE NEW FILM.... Renée Zellweger says Bridget Jones's Baby was "like stepping back with an old friend". And the plot is finally revealed. Is it Mark Darcy's baby?! Renée Zellweger has spoken about the upcoming Bridget Jones's Baby, which will see Bridget, as ever, in a bit of a muddle. The threequel involves Bridget, now 43, still single and pregnant but not sure whether the father is her on-off beau Mark Darcy (Colin Firth) or hot new billionaire Mark Qwant (Patrick Dempsey).The new issue of Entertainment Weekly also features interviews with Firth and Dempsey, and reveals who's come back to reprise their roles from the first two movies. Universal Pictures will release the comedy in both US and UK cinemas on September 16th, 2016. THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX STAR NANNY PAT DIES AGED 80.... The reality star - who was the grandmother of cast members Mark and Jessica Wright and mother to Carol Wright - died after a short illness. Pat has been on the show since the first series when it started on ITV2 in 2010 and was seen bringing grandson Mark a sausage plait at his flat. She was known for her funny one-liners and for offering the younger stars of the show - who have since paid tribute - advice. The television star celebrated her 80th birthday last month in Surrey where she had a Royal Wedding-themed party. ARRRR will miss her (sad face).

WILL CHERYL FERNANDEZ-VERSINI BE SINGLE IN THE NEW YEAR? It may be a lonely New Year for Cheryl Fernandez-Versini... Reports suggest that French businessman JB, 35, left his wife alone at Christmas as he’s spent time in the US. As speculation surrounding the state of her marriage continues she’s been seen out without her wedding ring on and has been plagued by reports that their marriage is on the rocks but the former Girls Aloud singer has slammed rumours as “nonsense”.

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KID’S THESE DAYS!

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses on the train, cause we're going down the tracks." The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today." As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are angry about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the cow in the kitchen!."

HOME RENOVATIONS & SWIMMING POOLS .LWFKHQV %DWKURRPV 7LOLQJ 3DWLRV

6RODU +RW :DWHU 3RRO +HDWLQJ 8QGHUIORRU 6SDFH +HDWLQJ 5HPRYDEOH *ODVV 3RRO )HQFLQJ

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Looking for the right TV system? Finding a reliable TV provider or choosing a home entertainment system to suit your budget is getting more difficult than ever. Self-education doesn’t always provide you with the tools to make a proper decision and with more and more products on the market, finding an honest and reliable professional to help you make those right decisions can be even more daunting.

That’s where Focus Home Entertainment Solutions come in. We are celebrating 10 years experience on the coast in the custom audio & video electronics industry with a solid reputation working with Reece Electronics, Focus is one of the Costa de Sol’s leading Home Entertainment companies. We provide an unmatched professional quality service and built from referrals of thousands of satisfied clients along the coast, our dedication and commitment ensures our clients receive the best possible results for any budget. Painstaking attention to detail is paid to every system, from a simple TV viewing package in your living room to a dedicated home cinema with lighting control at the touch of a button. Expanding the boundaries of home entertainment solutions is our mission statement. Our success has come about through a unique combination of creativity, attention to details and continuously working to the highest standards. By providing you with impartial advice on the right equipment, we ensure you get the most out of your viewing a listening experience.

“We pride ourselves on exceeding our clients expectations.”

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Costa Rents

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Black Magic An old man was feared by his neighbours because they believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs and strange sounds at night. Every time he argued with his wife, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night along with the same statement; When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life! He suddenly died under strange circumstances one day and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial his wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there were no tomorrow. The cheerfulness of her actions was becoming extreme and her neighbours asked her if she was worried, afraid or concerned after all her husband practiced black magic and stated that he would dig his way up from the grave and haunt her for the rest of her life. The wife put her drink down and said “let him dig” “I had him buried upside down!”

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Then & Now The difference between High School in 1970 & 2016…

Scenario 1: Johnny & Mark Scenario 2: Jeffery will not Scenario 3: Billy breaks a

get into a fistfight af ter be allowed in classroom as he window in his neighbour’s car school. disrupts the other students. and his dad screams at him…

1970: Crowd gathers. 1970: Jeffery is sent to Mark wins. Johnny and the Head Masters office Mark shake hands and end and is given a good telling up best of friends. off by the Head Master. He 2016: Police are called to then returns to the classthe scene can’t do any- room, sits still and does thing because they don’t not disrupt the class again. have the correct kind of “clearance” so then call in the SWAT team the SWAT team arrives... Both Johnny & Mark are arrested. They are both charged with assault and both expelled from school even though Johnny started it.

2016: Jeffery is given huge doses of Ritalin he becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADHD. The school gets extra money from the government because Jeffery has a disability.

1970: Billy is more careful next time, grows up normally, goes to college and becomes a successful adult.

2016: Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy’s sister tells the school psychologist that she remembers being abused herself (shouted at) and their Dad goes to prison… Billy’s Mum has an affair with the psychologist – they all appear on Jeremy Kyle.

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TRIVIA QUIZ

1) Which three countries have both an Atlantic and Mediterranean coastline? 2) Name one of the three orange coloured properties on the UK version of the board game Monopoly? 3) Which town is the county town of Devon (UK)? 4) What was the first full-length film that was completely designed by computer? 5) Which country has the longest coastline? 6) By what name is the marsupial "Sarcophilus Harrisi" better known? 7) Which famous crime fighter has the alter ego Peter Parker? 8) Which men's golfing majors tournament is held in June each year?

9) Which South American country takes its name from an Italian city? 10) What is the lowest possible hand in poker? 11) What is the chemical symbol for Gold? 12) Who performed the new James Bond Spectre theme song? 13) Who shot Billy the Kid? 14) When Elizabeth Taylor played Cleopatra, who played Julius Caesar? 15) In which city would you find the International Court of Justice? 16) Whose birthday is celebrated around the globe on January 25th each year? 17) What is the name given to a quadrilateral with two parallel sides of unequal length?

18) Which is the most Southerly capital city in the world? 19) Which is the most Northerly capital city in the world? 20) The Saone and Rhone rivers converge at which French city? 21) What numeric term describes perfect vision? 22) Which celebrated cook was born Isabella Mary Mayson? 23) How many lions guard the base of Nelson's column in London's Trafalgar Square? 24) If you suffered from Autophobia what would you be afraid of? 25) Nutwood Cottage is the home of which fictional children's character?

DRAIN & LEAK

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your MIND ownB

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Situated in a very busy commercial centre. Established for two years - recently refurbished.

80 Properties on their registers all of which are direct instructions.

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BUSINESS SINESS

SALES

RENTALS

WE NEED YOUR BUSINESS We have buyers waiting

For a professional service that cares about selling your business please contact us

WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:22 pm Page 28

your MIND ownB

B U S I N

Advertising your business for s NO up front fees NO hidden charges

Restaurant in Busy Port: 95.000€

Modern American Diner style restaurant in a high profile frontline position. Extremely busy restaurant. It has an excellent reputation and a TripAdvisor certificate of excellence.

On-line Print Company: 22.000€

Online print website supplying the whole of Spain could be run from anywhere in the world. A great opportunity to acquire a web based business with very small outgoings.

Choice of 2 FANTASTIC Restaurants 69.000€ - 190.000€ Between San Pedro and Estepona. Both with VERY HIGH ratings on Tripadvisor...

Food Supplier to Retail and Trade: 82.500€

The business started just two years ago and has expanded hugely in that short time. There is still continued growth and this will only continue.

www.business-sales-spain.com Telephone: 951 254 222 Mobile: 663 061 669 info@business-sales-spain.com

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BUSINESS S I N E S S

S A L E S

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for sale in Spain and the UK NO advertising fees NO sale - NO fee

Property Management & Rental Business 65.000€

Established since 1996, well known on the Coast offering a wide range of related services close to the beach just outside Estepona.

MailBox & Courier Office Marbella 170.000€

This business is a must have! A very high profile shop/office in Marbella.

Restaurant, Fuenigirola: 29.900€

This beautiful restaurant right in the very centre of Fuengirola opened about four years ago. Sitauted in an attractive square just a minutes walk from the seafront.

Choice of 2 Car Body Shop & Sprayers, Marbella: from 35.000€

WE URGENTLY NEED MORE BUSINESSES FOR SALE To receive updates on all new instructions go to: www.facebook.com/business.sales.spain and press like.

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Then & Now The difference between High School in 1970 & 2016…

Scenario 4: Alex falls over Scenario 5: Mark gets a Scenario 6: Peter fails his while running during playtime and scrapes her knee. She is found crying by her teacher, Sue. Sue hugs her to comfort her.

headache and takes some mock GCSE English exam. paracetamol to school with 1970: Peter goes to after him. school classes makes his

2016:

2016: There is no school

1970:

Sam says he has a headache as well so Mark 1970: In a short time, Alex gives him a paracetamol feels better and carries on with the school nurses guidance. playing.

Sue is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in prison. Alex undergoes 5 years of therapy.

nurse due to cuts by the local council – Mark gives Sam a paracetamol, the teacher sees and he is expelled from the school for dealing in drugs.

grades up, passes his English GCSE and goes on to do his A Levels. 2016: Peter’s case is taken up by a ‘No Win No Fee Lawyer’ for being racist. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement is racist. It goes through the courts and English is banned from the core curriculum. Peter is given the GCSE anyway, but can never find a job because he can’t read or write to GCSE levels.

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January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:23 pm Page 32

TOP NEW FILMS FOR

2016

Finding Dory:

lighthouse. The dragon named Elliot has wonderful CGI this tale might be akin to E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial and families will fall in love with it!

The friendly-but-forgetful blue tang fish reunites with her loved ones, and everyone learns a few things about the true meaning of family along the way. The film takes place six months Rogue One - A Star Wars Story: after Finding Nemo. This one is a no-brainer. The word “spinoff” isn’t remotely important, the only Independence Day, Resurgence: words that matter are Star and Wars Two decades after the first here. The film sees the rebels set out on Independence Day invasion, Earth is a mission to steal the plans for the Death faced with a new extra-Solar threat. But Star. this film is a prequel set during the will mankind's new space defenses be original trilogy’s days will provide a huge enough? It’s missing Will Smith (an added nostalgic boost for audiences too, admittedly big name to leave out) it has especially on the heels of the nostalgiamost of the rest of the main cast return- fest this Christmas when The Force ing, and Roland Emmerich is returning as Awakens. director. One to look forward to but maybe not the blockbuster they are hoping for.

Pete’s Dragon: A Disney movie all

about the innocence of childhood and childhood lost, and about adults attempting to recapture that innocence while also rescuing a child from a world that threatens to strip it all away. A young orphan seeks refuge from his abusive adoptive parents with the help of a pet dragon and a couple who live in a

Also at the flicks this year Warcraft (a spinoff of the game), Alice Through the Looking Glass, My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2, Ghostbusters (2016) the Angry Birds Movie and Kung Fu Panda 3. If you can’t wait to get to the cinema check out our new website for all English speaking films being shown near you… www.costalinkmagazine.com

This is Molly... Meet Molly she is a small dog weighing 6-7kg she was born on the 18th of March 2013. We rescued her form a dog pound. She is brown with white patches and of mixed breed. Molly is very shy at the moment but would love a new home wtih lots of affection and cuddles.

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“COMPLETE” OR “FINISHED”…?

Here's an English lesson for the day! "Complete" or "Finished”? No dictionary has ever been able to define the difference between "complete" and "finished." However, during a recent linguistic conference, held in London, England, Samsundar Balgobin, a Guyanese linguist, was asked to make that very distinction. The question by a colleague in the erudite audience was this: "Some say there is no difference between 'complete' and 'finished.' Please explain the difference in a way that is easy to understand.” Mr. Balgobin's response: "When you marry the right woman, you are 'complete.” If you marry the wrong woman, you are 'finished.' And, if the right one catches you with the wrong one, you are 'completely finished.'" His answer received a five minute standing ovation.......

A Man’s World

MY HUSBANDS TEMPER...

A woman goes to the Doctor, worried about her husband’s temper. The Doctor asks: “What’s the problem?” The women says: “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Everyday my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me.” The Doctor says: “ I have a cure for that. When it seems that your husband is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing around your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until he either leaves the room or clams down.” Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn. The woman says: “ Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?” To which the Doctor replies: “ The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick”.

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New Year Resolutions

for Pets

1) I will not eat other animals' poop. 2) I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

3 )I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 4) My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 5) I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener. 6) Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping becomes a juried competition in major animal shows. 7) Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars. 8) Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell other behinds. 9) Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me! 10) Get a bite in on that vet who gives me that shot every year. 11) Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much. 12) Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post. 13) January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! 14) January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock. 15) The bin man is NOT stealing our possessions I do not have to kill him/her. 16) I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND!

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Medical Tips

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How to STOP snoring...

There's no miracle cure for snoring, but lifestyle changes, over-thecounter remedies and medical treatments may help. As snoring is often related to lifestyle, there are some simple changes you can make to minimise it.

• Maintain a healthy weight and diet. Being overweight by just a few kilograms can lead to snoring. Fatty tissue around your neck squeezes the airway and prevents air from flowing in and out freely.

SNORING SELF-HELP TIPS...

• Try to sleep on your side rather than your back. While sleeping on your back, your tongue, chin and any excess fatty tissue under your chin can relax and squash your airway. Sleeping on your side prevents this.

• Avoid alcohol before going to bed. Alcohol causes the muscles to relax more than usual during a normal night's sleep. This added relaxation of the muscles makes the back of the throat collapse more readily, which then causes snoring.

• Quit or cut down on smoking. Cigarette smoke irritates the lining of the nasal cavity and throat, causing swelling and catarrh. If the nasal passages become congested, it's difficult to breathe through your nose because the airflow is decreased.

• Keep your nasal passages clear, so that you breathe in through your nose rather than your mouth. If an allergy is blocking your nose, try antihistamine tablets or a nasal spray. Ask your pharmacist for advice, or see your GP, if you're affected by an allergy or any other condition that affects your nose or breathing, such as sinusitis.

COMMERCIAL STOP-SNORING DEVICES

There are a range of stop-snoring treatments and devices on sale. These include nasal strips, which open the nostrils wider, throat sprays and devices known as mandibular advancement devices (MAD), which reposition the jaw to ease airflow. Your pharmacist can tell you what's available, or you can visit the Doctor.

MEDICAL HELP FOR SNORING

For some cases of snoring, surgery to fix structural problems in the airways, such as enlarged adenoids, can help. If your snoring is caused by looseness in your soft palate (the soft upper part at the back of the mouth), a technique called radiofrequency ablation, which uses heat energy to tighten the palate, may help. Read more about radiofrequency ablation of the soft palate.

CHECK OUT... Our new website at www.costalinkmagazine.com lots for more Medical Tips!

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Health & Well Being

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12 WAYS TO CHANGE YOUR HEALTH FOR THE BETTER IN 2016 POSITIVE THINGS YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR HEALTH, MIND, BODY & SPIRIT THIS YEAR 1) VEG OUT 7) TALK UP Find ways to relax. An (in)activity that slows your Ditch negative patterns of self talk. Replace “I’m

breath and mind such as patting a purring pussy cat hopeless at ..” with a positive, “I can do anything I or lying on the grass, watching clouds fly by in the put my mind to”. Keep repeating until positive is sky. Find your way to inner peace. your pattern.

2) VEG IN 8) EAT AT HOME MORE Eat one vegetarian meal every week. Explore the Increase your culinary repertoire. Home cooked

world of legumes, from chickpeas to cannellini meals are less expensive and more nutritious that beans. Legumes are high in fibre, low in kilojoules fast food takeaway. You don’t have to be a masand a good source of protein. terchef to cook delicious and nutritious food.

3) CUT DOWN YOUR SUGAR 9) COOK LESS Say no to added sugar. Lose weight and improve Eat more salads and raw vegetables. Raw vegeta-

energy by avoiding any food where the label states bles retain more nutrients including vitamin C and over 5g of sugar per 100g, as this means sugar has B which cooking can destroy. been added.

10) VARY YOUR DIET 4) EAT MORE VEGETABLES Check out a food you haven’t tried before. Add Say yes to more vegetables. Low in kilojoules, high some Chia seeds full of omega-3s to your smoothie 11) HAVE REGULAR CHECK UPS Go to your trusted doctor and complementary

in fibre, phytonutrients, vitamins and minerals. Pick or stir fry kale which is high in iron and magnesium. from all colours anythign goes!

5) BREATHE MORE Nose breathing, in contrast to mouth breathing,

health practitioner and have a thorough checkup. helps you resist colds and flus. Mucous mem- Find out what’s going well, and find out what might branes lining the nasal cavity produce nitric oxide, a need improving. natural chemical with anti-inflammatory and SLEEP IN antibiotic properties. A good night’s sleep is powerful medicine. Growth hormone is produced when we sleep stimulating BREATHE LESS Slow breathing, deep into the belly, also known as muscle and bone growth so make sure you're getdiaphragmatic breathing, helps to switch on the ting some quality shut-eye every night. calming parasympathetic nervous system.

12)

WISHING YOU A VERY HAPPY & HEALTHY 2016...!

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:26 pm Page 47

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:26 pm Page 48

Medical Mayhem

Who’s the father???

After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the obstetrician. “Doctor,” the man said, ”I’m a little upset, my daughter has red hair – she can’t possibly be mine!!!” “Nonsense” the doctor said. Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool” “it isn’t possible,” the man insisted. “this can’t be, our families on both sides have had jet black hair for generations.” “Well” said the doctor, “let me ask you this. How often have you had sex?” The man seemed ashamed. “I’ve been working very hard for the past year, we only made love once or twice every few months’ “Well, there you have it!” the doctor said confidently – “it’s rust!” To all you new and old parents out there… The moment you get baby off to sleep… The phone will ring, a door will slam and the dog will start barking!

Never fails…!!!

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:26 pm Page 49

ALL REVVED UP

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:26 pm Page 50

2016 Promises to be an exciting year for new car releases, here are just a few that we are looking forward to most.

The Beautiful Aston Martin DB11 is due to arrive late this year, succeeding the equally beautiful DB9 with a revised version of the existing 6.0-litre V12, likely turbocharged for added power and better efficiency and possibly also available with a V8 engine. The likely candidate will be Mercedes-AMG’s latest 4.0litre twin-turbo, taking advantage of the relationship with Daimler who have a five per cent share in Aston Martin.

Toyota’s hybrid crossover. The 'C-HR' is a near-production preview. The finished product will look very similar to this. Toyota claims it'll go on sale in the middle of 2016 just after a Geneva production debut. The eagerly awaited successor to the 1 Series M Coupé is almost with us, offering a rapid, slightly smaller and cheaper alternative to the M4. Unlike the 1M, though, the M2 will be available with manual and automatic gearboxes. With an uprated version of the M235i’s turbo straight-six engine, but with 370bhp. That means 0-100kph takes 4.5 seconds for the manual and 4.3 seconds for the auto. Honda’s Ferrari-baiting NSX supercar will finally arrive this year after a huge wait - the original came in 1995 and this replacement was announced in 2007. The car has a petrol V6 and three electric motors to deliver 550bhp via a twin-clutch gearbox, and promises physics-defying handling. Yet fuel economy will be on par with that of a diesel family hatchback

The 592bhp Ford GT supercar will debut in 2016 with a Le Mans comeback planned. Ford's mid-engine supercar is a tribute to Ford’s GT40 racing cars of the sixties and follows on from the GT of 2005 and 2006 It is shaping up to be one of the most eagerly anticipated cars of recent times, and will make production - in tiny numbers.

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:27 pm Page 51

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January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:27 pm Page 52

Detox smoothies are a delicious way to detox, and one of the best detox drinks to add to your daily routine. Smoothies to Cleanse Your System.

Homemade Detox Smoothies All-About-the-Berries Smoothie

• 1 1/2 cups Berry Mix (Blueberries, Raspberries, Blackberries) • 1/2 cup Coconut Milk • 1 cup Purified Water • 1/8 cup rolled oats Instructions: Blend everything together until you reach a smoothie consistency. The beauty of berries is their easy prep. Fresh berries need a rinse before going in, while frozen you just pop right in. When detoxing organic produce is always recommended.

Kale-It-Up Smoothie

•1 handful of Kale •1/2 apple •1 cup Coconut Water Instructions: If you use curly kale make sure you cut off the hard and stringy ribs that run down the middle of the leaf. We recommend baby kale, it’s easier to blend.

Slim-Down-Detox Smoothie

•1 scoop Soy Protein Powder, vanilla flavor •1 cup Green Tea, brewed •1/2 Peach Instructions: You can use frozen peaches here because they’re much easier to use. It’s best to let the green tea cool down completely before making your smoothie.

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:27 pm Page 53

Stran

Strange Strangebuttrue...

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:27 pm Page 54

PIMPLE PORN

IS NOW A THING & IT'S INCREDIBLY DISGUSTING

There are some truly messed up fads (and dare we say it people) out there. To be honest, foot porn is weird enough, but other things really take it too far.

Sandra isn't weirded out by the following. In fact, she embraces it and is happy people can be open about watching 'pimple porn'.

"I think that people have a strong reaction to pimple popping – whether they are grossed out by it or they are enchanted by But nothing, and I mean nothing, tops this it. I feel like I have really brought this sort of craze. It's called pimple porn, and it trumps thing out of the closet in a way,"Dr. Lee said. every fetish and viral stunt to come before it. You know how you sometimes pop a I think we would have to STRONGLY disspot and get a small feeling of satisfaction agree with you there, doctor. from it? Well this is that, but on a much big- However, she is happy to carry on and ger, and weirder, scale. knows exactly what to post to please her A dermatologist called Sandra Lee has followers. "Soft pops tend to be milder accumulated a strange following on things like blackheads and smaller cysts. YouTube because some odd balls enjoy There’s really no blood, it’s really very smooth and minor. The hard pops are bigwatching her pop patients' spots. ger pops that involve cysts and abscesses She has adopted the name 'Dr Pimple being popped out of the skin," she added. Popper', and she has nearly half a million followers on YouTube and Instagram. YUCK, YUCK, YUCK!

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January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:27 pm Page 55

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:27 pm Page 56

FINANCIAL NEWS The Euro & World Round Up

WILL THE SPAINISH ELECTIONS AFFECT THE EURO?

Sterling Euro exchange rates saw a drop of over 5 cents since the beginning of December following the news from the ECB that QE would be extended by another 6 months and the deposit rate has been cut to -0.3%.

month of the year with the financial sector winding down for the holidays. You no longer see more balanced, aggregated and gradual price movements, but rather sharp and sudden spikes.

The reason behind such strength for the Euro News that the UK Public sector has borrowed was that this was less than expected but also almost twice as much as the previous month good news in that the ECB has finally done started a negative trend for GBP/EUR. something to combat falling inflation. The November figures came in disappointingThe risk to the value of the Euro is likely to ly low due to poor performance in the manucome from Spain after the election not result- facturing and construction sectors. With the ing in any party forming a majority which same shorter days and winter weather affectmeans a coalition will need to be formed. ing output, it may not be a stretch to expect the similar results which forced the Pound to This news has not could see more swings for lose 1 Cent against the US Dollar, and more Sterling vs the Euro. than 1.5 cents against the Euro last month. December is traditionally the most volatile

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:27 pm Page 57

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:27 pm Page 58

What’s On Guide...

26th December 2015 to the 4th January 2016: MIMA - Huge kids fair that lasts right through the festive season. Fun fair, rock climbing, ice-skating and much, much more! At the Palacio de Ferias, Málaga. For more information see www.mimamalaga.com.

5th January 2016: Is the eve of the Three Kings Day, Dia de Reyes. Three Kings Day in Marbella is very special it honors the visit of the Three Kings to worship and bring gifts to the new-born Jesus Christ. In Spain, it has traditionally be the most important day that culminates the ¨Christmas¨ holidays. The Three Kings are celebrated pretty much like Christmas´ Santa Claus. Children write a letter to the Kings asking for their desired toys. Many cities set up locations where the kids can deposit their letter to the ¨Royal mailman¨.There are parades throughout Andalucia: The biggest are in Malaga, Marbella, Fuengirola also in San Pedro also up and down the Costa. 6th January 2016: Three Kings Day - Public Holiday throughout the Costa del Sol.

9th January 2016: Echo’s of the 60’s - A fun evening with great costumes, great vocals and the very best music from the 1960’. For more information call: 952 47 45 42 or e-mail: boxoffice@salonvarietestheatre.com or visit the website www.salonvarietestheatre.com.

15th & 16th January 2016: The Lady With All the Answers - SALVA Presents BOBBYE AARON as "Ann Lander" in the Sparklingly Funny and touching One-Woman Play. For more information call: 952 47 45 42 or e-mail: boxoffice@salonvarietestheatre.com or visit the website www.salonvarietestheatre.com. Every Monday: 11 am – 1 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa. Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis. Every Monday: Age Concern Drop In for a coffee and a chat at The Captain’s bar Urb. Las Adelfas No. 11 from 11.30am to 1.00pm. Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771. Every Tuesday: 11 am – 1 pm Age Care Coffee Morning at the Baptist Church, Calahonda, where people can chat, share experiences & take part in a variety of activities. Tel: 952 933 409 for info. Every Tuesday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for Spanish lessons in the afternoon from 3.00pm until 3.45pm. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Tuesday: International meeting for Expats in Estepona. At The Irish Fiddler in the port between 12.00pm and 2.00pm . A chat and meet people over a cup of coffee. Just drop in or contact Hein on 630756514. Every Thursday: Age Concern meet at the Manila bar in Los Boliches, next to the Yaramar hotel for advice, support and friendship from 11.00am until 1.00pm. Pop in and meet new people and make new friends. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Thursday: Flea Market from 9am next to Aldi in Las Lagunas, plenty of parking. Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Friday: Age Concern meet EVERY Friday at El Caballo de Oro in La Cala from 11.30 until 1.00pm. We are in the main square behind Supersol. Advice, support and friendship. Pop in and meet new people and make new friends. Lifeline 652 537 615. Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm. Every Sunday: Craft Market in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 12-6pm. If you have an event, fundraiser or anything else please let us know...

email: editor@costalinkmagazine.com phone: 951 216 131 or 663 061 669

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January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:27 pm Page 60

ocal Info Emergency Numbers

---

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

Medical

112 091 092 062

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Health Centres

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Consulates

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

Transport

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus

Markets

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday -Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground. Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Calypso (Mijas Costa). Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) & Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring). La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La CaĂąada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis

Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates

1st January 2016: New Years Day / National Holiday

5th January 2016: Is the eve of the Three Kings Day, Dia de Reyes. There are parades throughout Andalucia. 6th January 2016: Three Kings Day / National Holiday

17th January 2016: Local holiday in Alhaurin el Grande (Saint Antonâ€™s day.) 25th January 2016: Burns night.

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 951 254 222 or 663 061 669

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:29 pm Page 61

Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218 Before

After

Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info

Harry’s Sports Bar

All Live Sports & Premiere League Football. Six TV’s & Big Screen. Full menu... Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10am-late, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:29 pm Page 62

S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during January 2016...

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Gemini 62

Capricorn you have an extremely busy and powerful start to the year. Mars is in your sign all January, which gives a big increase in energy and enthusiasm. Self-confidence and sexual attractiveness is boosted, people will be drawn to your directness and strong desire to succeed. You will be very competitive but this attitude will not threaten others, in fact you should gain support for your actions. This also means that your birthday should be very good. A promising omen for the year ahead and you should take advantage of this to start new projects, be more daring and go for what you truly desire, compete to win! With Mercury passing through your sign from January 22nd to 27th, your mind will be extra sharp. Now you can put the extra confidence and energy to use in interacting with others to get even more support for your plans. Aquarius you start the New Year with Mercury in your sign from January 1st to 8th. This will broaden your mind and also your interactions with others. You will have a busy week catching up with friends and family also traveling around. You will be more communicative and have piles of paperwork to do. You should be mentally focused to handle the increased information coming in and may find yourself playing a more active role in conversations, even acting as a negotiator. Venus in your sign from January 6th to 14th brings the activity into personal relationships where more closeness gives warm feelings. You will be radiating more love which others will find attractive, so compliments and gifts may come your way. This is also a favorable time financially to invest in you, your image, clothes, jewelry, makeovers etc. Pisces you may have some tension to deal with as Mars is opposite your sign throughout January. There could be challenges you have to overcome in order to achieve a certain goal or simply just to be yourself. You will have a lot of energy, but it will be hard to channel constructively. Anger or frustration is likely and especially from January 1st to 8th you will need to show restraint in dealing with other people. This will increase your impulsive urges and a tendency to react in a hostile manner. Sharp words could inflame delicate situations. Your thinking will be more erratic and rushed, so avoid confrontation or making important decisions this week. Things will improve with the Sun over your sign from January 11th to 20th then Mercury rising from January 22nd to 27th. You will be able to think more clearly and express yourself much better now. Aries, this month sees you bored of routine the same old thing. You want something special. You want your relationship to offer wider perspectives. If you can enjoy all that with your loved one then great but you may be attracted to someone who promises such experiences. To give you a little excitement back in that dull old life Aries! On the work front January 2016 has success coming through enthusiasm. The more you put in the more you get out. You are respected you could gain an award or reach an ambitious objective. Financially, Arians should ponder on their endeavors and decisions, more so during the first half of the month. Take a closer look at your professional goals and make a list of priorities! January excesses, rushing, and lack of attention could cause trouble. Take care of the whole you this month and stop rushing around so much it doesn’t always have to be a race Aries… Taurus, Mars your sign on January 3rd 2016. This starts a 9-month term bringing your relationships in the spotlight and, one way or another, all roads lead to events that money and relationships go hand in hand. It’s important that from the beginning of this cycle you pay great attention to the meaning of relationship-related events and prevent difficult situations or conflicts where possible. At work this month could be demanding and stressful. Team work and work or business partnerships are emphasized, but require a calm and cautious approach. You’ll be feeling full of energy in January 2016. It’s an excellent time to get active, at the gym or outdoors. Travels could also be attractive, but they’re not without adventures. So keep an eye on the road!

Gemini, up until January 23rd 2016 Venus brings you love, opportunity, harmony and happy times. At the same time Saturn, Jupiter, and Neptune are also in your sign this configuration could have a double effect. If you are looking for ‘the one’ this is a great time to find them. On the work front Mars in your sign from January 3rd 2016 marks the beginning of a very busy or stressful time. Get ready to handle a big workload you’ll enjoy energy and drive that could contribute to increased efficiency achieving professional goals that you could never dream off. Don’t make any major financial decisions between January 5th and 25th 2016! If such a decision is unavoidable though, you should ponder things very carefully.

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Cancer

Cancer, Pluto the Sun and Mercury are in your sign during January 2016. The Sun will emphasize your loved one they will become the axis of your thoughts and actions. Mercury will bring with it discussion delicate topics or stir up older issues during this time. The work atmosphere is more relaxed, more comfortable, tasks are easier or you find them easier to do. Tiny opportunities arise that attract a positive change in your professional life. Money could come easily if you’re part of a collaboration or team. But partnerships and contracts must be based on clear and firm records. Check and double check deals and contracts before you sign anything. You’ll be full of life and bursting with energy. Exercise; take up a new sport what ever you feel like. Maybe go for a long walk, go to the gym.

Leo

Leo, January 2016 has a considerable romantic potential for you, because Venus and Saturn are in your sign. Complex and full of power, this astrological duo will push you to do crazy things. On the work front January 2016 is not an easy month for you Leos. Mercury is in retrograde this month could lead to various issues: communication issues - computers or other office-related items not working properly maybe making wrong evaluations or facing delays. All these inconveniences aside, in January you could move forward and affirm yourself as a great advantage to any team. Don’t take any financial risks and don’t spend more than you have this month. For Leos, in January 2016 it’s best to keep an eye on your health until the 25th.

Virgo

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Virgo, January 2016 is a dynamic and passionate month for you, but there could be a few surprises along the way. Pluto the Sun and Mercury, are in your sign this month bringing with them complications and exaggerations! January 2016 is the month of intellectual and creative efforts. You might write an important paper, give speeches or deal with a lot more information than you usually do. January 2016 looks to be intense and agitated for your sign, but could bring you satisfaction, including financially. You are in pretty good shape in January 2016, meaning that they have a lot of energy and an optimistic outlook on life. You should still steer clear of excesses and addictions and pay attention when traveling! Libra, Mars is entering your sign this month this will see you enter a more complex term regarding relationships, it will last until September 2016.This term ties together your love life to material concerns properties etc. and in the end will lead to reorganising your love life, probably to be more suitable to your real needs. On January 3rd 2016, Mars your sign where it will spend 4 of the almost 9 months of its prolonged transit through Scorpio and Sagittarius, determined by the retrograde cycle. What follows is a financially active term, you’ll be able to earn better money or you’ll have to resolve various material issues. By an large, your health should be paid attention to during January 2016, and coming months. Scorpio, January 2016 could be a passionate month. Mars is in your sign and will be giving you boldness but it could also push you to rash or crazy actions, even becoming more impulsive or aggressive. Pay attention and be patient with those around, and make sure that they too understand what you want to say! Don’t rush into affirmations or decisions! Mars also gives you a enterprising spirit, boldness and competitiveness. But if you want to succeed, your actions have to be well planned and steered toward clear, reasonable, and advantageous objectives. Mercury’s retrograde motion in Scorpio’s 3rd house pushes toward the same directions, but sometimes could complicate matters, especially between 5th and 25th January. Take a step back and review things before signing on the dotted line. With Mars in Scorpio, you can’t complain of lack of energy. On the contrary, you have too much of it.

Sagittarius you start the New Year off with the harmonious transit of Venus in your sign from December 29th to January 6th. Warm and loving relations with friends and partners means you will want to enjoy socializing this week and attending parties, good timing! The perfect week for a holiday or some retail therapy purchases of luxury or beauty products favored, lucky you! However you may have to be more careful with your money from January 22nd to 31st because Venus will be with your sign. Overindulgence this week will be more costly in the long run, both on the bank account and the waistline. The desire for love and affection will be strong, but this will only be met if you make the effort to share and give love yourself.

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January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:29 pm Page 65

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:29 pm Page 66

puzzle Link The Words

Solutions on page 76

it out

In each of these puzzles, three words are listed. All you have to do is find another word that can either precede or follow each word linking them:

___

ROCKET

NIGHT

LARK

_____

ACHE

BLUE

FAIRY

2) 4) 5)

______

NECK

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ SUNDAY ___

WATCH

DOVE

TRAIN

SHEEP

NINJA DELIVERY

HOT

Guess The Celeb

Sudoku

Brain Teaser

CAN YOU GET THE PASSWORD?

A man was writing his first book. After saving the document, he locked his laptop with a password and mentioned some phrases for the hint box. Later, a friend of his tries opening the laptop but finds out that it is password protected. The following is the hint that appeared: 1 mobile 3 books 2 roars 1 night 4 balls 2 lighters 1 ghost 1 hat 3 watches It seemed mpossible to him. 66

Can you help him in cracking the password?

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:30 pm Page 67

Crossword

Across: 1. Played at international level (6) 4. It could be wide or silver (6) 9. Twosome (3) 10. Breed of cat (7) 11. Clearly obvious (7) 12. Final sum (5) 13. Wading bird (5) 15. Mourning (5) 20. Granny Smith for example (5) 22. -------- Oyster is a hangover cure (7) 24. Pardon you from your sins (7) 25. Slang for diamonds (3) 26. Followed an eating plan (6) Down: 1. Scrounges (6) 2. Pledge (7) 3. Follow on as a result (5) 5. Roman town in North of England (7) 6. Apply force or influence (5) 7. Stinging plant (6) 8. Irritable (5) 14. Supervise (7) 16. Piece of jewellery (7) 17. Limited to a certain sum (6) 18. Witch's hex or charm (5) 19. Fight off enemy attack (6) 21. Stage in development (5) 23. Spy or representative (5)

Name The Film

A Richard travels to Thailand & finds him- B self in possession of a map. Rumours has it leads to a solitary beach paradise, a tropical bliss he tries to find it. (2000)

A special bond develops between plussized robot Baymax, Hiro Hamada, they team up with a group of friends to form a band of high-tech heroes. (2012).

Say What You See...

standing MISS

TL T BA

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:30 pm Page 68

The Jokespage

Jokespage

Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replies, "Yes,why?..." The first one says "I just bit my lip."

A lady went to see psychic to predict her future, the psychic said “I'm sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future.” The lady replied “Don't tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!!”

A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mum on top of his dad bouncing up and down. The parents stop and his mum quickly dismounts, pulling the covers around her. “What were you and dad doing?” the boy asks his mum. “Well, your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it,” she explains. “You’re wasting your time,” says the boy. “When you go shopping the lady next door gets on her knees and blows it right back up.”

A man recently got crushed by a pile of books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.

Two peanuts leave a bar. One was a salted. A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.

Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory? Lack of concentration.

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January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:30 pm Page 70

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January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:31 pm Page 72

Advertising

Costa Link Magazine www.costalinkmagazine.com info@costalinkmagazine.com t: 951 254 222 or m: 663 061 669 Key Media Group - Page 15 www.keymediagroup.net info@keymediagroup.net t: 952 934 805 or m: 666 666 998

Air Conditioning

Esola Systems - Page 23 info@esola.es t: 952 550 323 or m: 616 119 007

Building Services

Advasol Home Reforms - Page 16 www.advasolsolution.com info@advasolsolutions.com t: 951 965 309 or m: 664 871 133 Elite Glass Curtains - Page 55 www.eliteglasscurtains.com info@eliteglasscurtains.com t: 952 830 503 or m: 630 625 085 Fortress Security Spain - Page 30 www.fortresssecurityspain.com fortress@telefonica.net t: 952 931 128 Guttering Solutions - Page 14 t: 667 734 234 No Need to Paint - Page 33 www.noneedtopaint.com info@noneedtopaint.com t: 952 594 425 m: 640 519 482 Pool,Garden & Construction Services Pg 22 www.poolgardenservices.com info@poolgardenservices.com m: 625 911 953

Business

Provent Windows - Page 42 t: 951 933 330 m: 722 444 100 www.proventwindows.com Quartet Kitchens & Bathrooms - Page 21 www.quartethome.com info@quartethome.com m: 667 734 234 TecnoAluminio.com - Page 69 www.tecnoaluminio.com info@tecnoaluminio.com t: 952 805 267 or m: 600 082 288 Tecnoupvc - Page 33 info@tecnoupvc.com t: 951 277 567

Business Sales

Mind Your Own Business - Pages 26 to 29 www.business-sales-spain.com info@business-sales-spain.com t: 951 254 222 or m: 663 061 669

Computer Services

Costasys - Page 34 & 35 www.costasys.com info@costasys.com t: 952 939 592

Entertainment

The Multi Sports Club - Page 52 www.themultisportsclub.com m: 678 286 490

Garden Centres

Garden Centre Linda Vista - Page 54 www.gardecentrelindavista.com t: 952 785 206

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Glass Curtains

Elite Glass Curtains - Page 55 www.eliteglasscurtains.com info@eliteglasscurtains.com t: 952 830 503 or m: 630 625 085 Provent Windows - Page 42 t: 951 933 330 m: 722 444 100 www.proventwindows.com TecnoAluminio.com - Page 69 www.tecnoaluminio.com info@tecnoaluminio.com t: 952 805 267 or m: 600 082 288

Furniture Warehouse

The Bedding Warehouse - Page 31 www.bedwarehousespain.com bedwarehousespain@hotmail.com t: 952 582 872 m: 634 187 700 or 600 633 986

Health and Wellbeing

Alhaurin Dental Centre - Page 47 www.alhaurindentalcentre.com dentistalhaurin@gmail.com m: 654 996 026 39 Sanitas Healthplan - Page 45 www.healthplanspain.com info@healthplanspain.com t: 951 255 737

Insurance Services

Sanitas Healthplan - Page 45 www.healthplanspain.com info@healthplanspain.com t: 951 255 737

Locksmiths

Business

Pharaoh Locksmiths, Mijas Costa pharaoh1@terra.com t: 617 921 824

Marble Floor Polishing

Marble Floor Care - Page 61 www.marblefloor.info m: 654 589 218

Mechanics

No1 Cars Marbella - Page 2 www.no1carsmarbella.com t: 952 926 544/ 952 898 603 m: 675 530 409

Metal Works

Fortress Security Spain - Page 30 www.fortresssecurityspain.com t: 952 931 128 Iron Works - Page 3 www.ironworksinspain.com ironworksinspain@yahoo.co.uk m: 678 691 393

Pet Care

Cat and Dog World - Page 32 www.cat-and-dog-world.com info@cat-and-dog-world.com t: 952 112 978 or m: 630 197 435 FAMA - Page 36 www.famaspain.com t: 620 354 885

Advertise your business in our new on-line business directory for only 95â‚Ź a year!

www.costalinkmagazine.com

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:31 pm Page 74

Plumbers

Drain and Leak Solutions - Page 24 www.drainandleak.com t: 951 310 111 or m: 651 111 005 Leak-Tec - Page 20 www.leak-tec.com | info@leak-tec.com m: 666 659 876

Printing & Print Services

Eyeprint - Page 80 www.eyeprint.es t: 952 906 121 Nueva Andalucia t: 951 310 395 Cabopino Please Quote CostaLink ndi3 Printing - Page 53 www.ndi3printing.com sales@ndi3printing.com

Property Sales, Rental & Management

Alexander Lord Properties - Pages 78 & 79 www.alexanderlordproperties.com info@alexanderlordproperties.com t: 951 480 024 m: 634 331 215 Claxton Homes - Page 37 www.claxtonhomes.com info@claxtonhomes.com m: 656 476 887 Costa del Home - Page 40 & 41 www.costadelhome.com Costa Rents - Pages 18 & 19 www.costarents.com info@costarents.com t: 671 093 925 Mind Your Own Business - Pages 26 to 29 www.business-sales-spain.com info@business-sales-spain.com t: 951 254 222 or m: 663 061 669 REAS Accredited Agency - Pages 64 & 65 www.reas.es

Radio Station

Business

The Beat - Page 57 www.thebeatspain.fm t: 952 468 404 m: 640 678 011

Removal Companies

The Removal People- Page 51 karl.theremovalpeople@gmail.com t: 633 855 516

Restaurants & Bars

Barboru Restaurant - Page 25 t: 952 933 158 www.barboru.com Harryâ€™s Sports Bar - Page 61 India Lucia, Torrenueva - Page 61 t: 951 407 695 www.indialucia.hpage.com Indian Ocean, Playa Marina - Page 42 t: 952 667 322 or m: 635 055 686 www.indialnocean1.hpage.com K-Lounge - Page 13 Sai Indian Restaurant - Page 69 wwwsairestaurant.es t: 951 254 401 m: 600 098 369

Satellite Television

Costasys IPTV Packages - Page 34 & 35 www.costasys.com/iptv.htm info@costasys.com t: 952 939 592 Focus Home Entertainment - Page 16 m: 664 354 545 GBTV - Page 61 m: 603 258 751 Orbit - Page 12 info@orbitsl.com t: 952 802 457 or m: 654 758 415

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Satellite Television Continued

The Sky Doctor - Page 43 www.theskydoctor.com info@theskydoctor.com t: 952 763 840 or m: 635 400 099

Shops

Boutique Nicole - Pages 10 & 11 t: 952 927 245 Curtain & Bedding Shop - Page 8 www.curtainandbeddingshop.com thecurtainandbeddingshop@hotmail.com t: 952 897 477 The Frock Exchange - Page 9 t: 689 119 520

Swimming Pool Services

Advasol - Page 16 www.advasolsolution.com info@advasolsolutions.com t: 951 965 309 or m: 664 871 133 Axarquia Pools - Page 20 www.axarquiapools.com info@axarquiapools.com m: 666 659 876 Pool,Garden & Construction Services Pg 22 www.poolgardenservices.com info@poolgardenservices.com m: 625 911 953

Business

Telephone and Internet Services

Costasys IPTV Packages - Page 34 & 35 www.costasys.com/iptv.htm info@costasys.com t: 952 939 592 Orbit - Page 12 info@orbitsl.com t: 952 802 457 or m:654 758 415

Vending Machines

Superpool - Page 38 www.superpoolspain.com paul@superpoolspain.com m: 629 530 233

Web Design

Key Media Group - Page 15 www.keymediagroup.net info@keymediagroup.net t: 952 934 805 or m: 666 666 998 Spanglish Webs - Page 56 www.spanglishwebs.com info@spanglishwebs.com m: 691 660 187

Wine On-Line

Wines 4 Fun - Page 7 www.wines4fun.com t: 952 230 888

Advertise your business in our new on-line business directory for only 95â‚Ź a year!

www.costalinkmagazine.com

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:32 pm Page 76

puzzle Trivia Quiz Answers

1) France, Spain and Morocco 2)Bow Street, Marlborough Street & Vine Street 3) Exeter 4) Toy Story in 1995 5) Canada it has a 243,000 km coastline 6) The Tasmanian Devil 7) Spiderman 8) US Open 9) Venezuela - was named after Venice 10) 2-3-4-5-7, not of the same suit 11) Au (from the Latin Aurum) 12) Sam Smith 13) Sheriff Pat Garrett 14) Rex Harrison 15) The Hague, Netherlands 16) Robert Burns â€“ Burns Night 17) A trapezium 18) Wellington, New Zealand 19) Reykjavik, Iceland 20) These two rivers converge at Lyons 21) Twenty-Twenty 22) It was the maiden name of Mrs Beeton 23) Four 24) Fear of being alone 25) Rupert the Bear

Answers from 24, 66 & 67

it out

Link The Words 1) Sky

2) Turtle 3) Tooth

4) Express 5) Dog

Guess The Celeb a) Jack Black

b) Angelina Jolie

Brain Teaser 1) A Shadow

2) A Computer 3) A Map

Crossword Solution

Sudoku Solution

Name The Film a) The Beach (2000) b) Big Hero 6 (2014)

Say What You See 1) High IQ

2) Misunderstanding 3) Upwards Battle

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:32 pm Page 77

is expanding want to join our team? weâ€™re seeking sales professionals psssst, quality product, great hours & commission structure...

for more information call 663 061 669 or email sales@costalinkmagazine.com

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:32 pm Page 78

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:32 pm Page 79

January 2016 Costa Link Magazine.qxp_Editorial Layout 22/12/15 7:32 pm Page 80