Costa link magazine april 2014 by Costalink Magazine

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Welcome to another fun packed issue of The Costa Link...

There are a lot of days to remember this month, firstly watch out for the pranksters on the on 1st, there is always someone that will catch you out maybe with cling film on toilet seat or the spaghetti trees on BBC’s Panorama not sure if you are old enough to remember that one though! Then it’s Easter, Good Friday on the 18th, Easter day on the 21st expect celebrations up and down the Costa del Sol for Semana Santa. For the more patriotic English people it’s St George’s Day on the 23rd. Also if you are free on the 19th of the month Positively Pink and Positively Blue are doing a fun walk around La Cala to raise cash and awareness if you want to get involved call Pat to secure your place on 610 774 408.

So whatever you decide to get involved in or celebrate I am sure it’s going to be a good one…

Happy Easter from all of us at the Costa Link! xxx CAR PAGE

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Skype: costalink.magazine Tweet: @costa_link Deposito Legal: MA-228-2007 Deadline Date: 18th of each month

No part of this publication, including layout, graphic design or pictures may be copied, SCANNED, used or reproduced without our prior written consent. Costa Link Magazine accepts no responsibility for alterations to events listed, claims made by our advertisers or information provided by our contributors. All rights reserved © 2014.

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A Woman’s World

Women make the world go round... HOW TO BE A GRACIOUS BITCH... Jennifer's wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her excitement - not even her parent's nasty divorce. Her mother had found the PERFECT dress to wear, and would be the best-dressed mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn that her father's new, young wife had bought the exact same dress as her mother! Jennifer asked her father's new young wife to exchange it, but she refused. “Absolutely not! I look like a million dollars in this dress, And I'm wearing it,” she replied.

Jennifer told her mother who graciously said, ''Never mind sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day.'' A few days later, they went shopping, and did find another gorgeous dress for her mother. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, ''Aren't you going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion where you could wear it." Her mother just smiled and replied, ''Of course I do, dear........ I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night BEFORE the wedding.''

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HOT GOSS!

FIFTY SHADES’ JAMIE DORNAN WATCHED SEX AND THE CITY BOX SETS TO PREPARE FOR SEX SCENES... With some of the rude stuff that the Sex And The City gals do on screen (we’re mostly looking at you, Samantha Jones) it’s no surprise Fifty Shades Of Grey star Jamie Dornan used the series to help prepare for his own sex scenes. Jamie – who will be seen in new Channel 4 drama New Worlds before Fifty Shades makes it to the big screen on Valentine’s Day next year – watched the sexy HBO series along with his co-star Joe Dempsie to pick up a few tips from Carrie and co. Roll on Feb the 14th! LOUIS WALSH CONFIRMS ELLIE GOULDING COULD BE FOURTH X FACTOR JUDGE...Ellie Goulding is apparently in line to sit alongside Simon Cowell and Cheryl Cole on The X Factor this year. Ellie, who won Best Female at the Brits in Feb, is reportedly wanted to be the fourth judge and Louis Walsh approves. The ITV show desperately wants another big name to make the foursome. Louis said, “I’ve heard Ellie Goulding. I just hope it’s a girl.” Ellie is becoming a big deal in America and with working on her third album it may be a challenge for ITV to lock her down. Who would you have as the fourth X Factor judge? MILA KUNIS & ASHTON KUTCHER ARE EXPECTING THEIR FIRST CHILD. Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher are reportedly expecting their first child. The couple recently got engaged, and now it looks like the former That ‘70s Show stars are starting a family too. Mila was seen attending a parental yoga class in Hollywood, according to E! Online. Mila and Ashton have been dating for two years since the end of his marriage to Demi Moore. While the two are now engaged and having a baby, they apparently weren't always so fond of each other - especially during their That '70s Show days. Strange how things pan out!

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HOT GOSS USA...

JENNIFER ANISTON IS LOOKING AT WEDDING DRESSES... Jennifer Aniston has finalllllllllllllly started shopping for her wedding dress after being engaged to Justin Theroux for two years. TWO YEARS! In fairness, for a civilian that’s not actually that long. But these guys are celebs, and you know how speedy A-listers are about these sorts of things usually. Jen was spotted sneaking out of a bridal store in New York recently, so we know she’s starting to make plans for her big day… AT LAST! A fellow shopper confirmed to heat exclusively that 45-year-old Jen was at Kleinfields, NYC, snapping away on her iPhone and drinking wine like a giddy bride, while dresses were paraded in front of her. We wonder what she’ll go for... KANYE WEST SENTENCED TO COMMUNITY SERVICE AND ANGER MANAGEMENT...The past has truly bit Kanye West on the behind this time and punishment has been served for his attack on paparazzo photographer Daniel Ramos at Los Angeles Airport last summer. The sentence includes two years' informal probation and 250 hours of community service. Kanye pleaded guilty to the charges brought against him including battery. Well there’s no denying the attack – annoyingly the other paps at the scene caught it all on camera. Oh, the irony! HOLY WAR! Carlton Gebbia Scolds ‘RHOBH’ Co-Star Kyle Richards... About Constant Questions About Her Religion: I’m Offended By You! Although Carlton Gebbia has been open about being a witch and practicing the Wiccan faith, she is sick and tired of her castmate Kyle Richards constantly asking about her religion. Gebbia explained why Richards’ questions about her religion are so offensive. Brandi Glanville chimed in that all her co-stars ever talk about is Gebbia’s religion – and they need to let it go. Oh dear, clearly money can’t buy happiness…

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FUNNY WEBSITE NAMES 1. 'Who Represents' is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their website is: www.whorepresents.com 2. 'Experts exchange' is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at: www.expertsexchange.com 3. Looking for a great pen? Look no further than 'Pen Island'. It can be found at: www.penisland.net 4. Need a therapist? Try 'Therapist Finder' at: www.therapistfinder.com 5. Then there's the 'Italian Power Generator' company: www.powergenitalia.com 6. 'IP computer' software can be found at: www.ipanywhere.com 7. And the designers at 'Speed of Art' await you at their wacky website: www.speedofart.com 8. Need a new boiler? Why not try 'Pro Gas Heating' at: www.progasheating.co.uk

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Bless me father

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now... Was it Tina Minetti?" "I cannot say." "Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?" "I'll never tell." "Was it Nina Capelli?" "I'm sorry, but I cannot name her." "Was it Cathy Piriano?" "My lips are sealed." "Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?" "Please, Father! I cannot tell you." The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself." Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?" "Four months vacation and five good leads..."

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1) Which film won the best picture Oscar in the 2014 awards? 2) What was Blackadder’s servant called in the television series? 3) Which Shakespeare play do actors refer to as the ‘Scottish play’? 4) Which river flows through the Grand Canyon? 5) Who wrote the ‘Just So’ stories? 6) Which island was awarded the George Cross in 1942?

TRIVIA QUIZ

12) Zircon and turquoise are birthstones associated with which month? 13) If Air Force One is the US Presidents official plane, what is Marine One? 14) Which chemical has the symbol CL? 15) How many lines are there in a sonnet? 16) Alphabetically, which US state comes first? 17) Who created the Muppets? 18) Which word can go before 7) Of which school was Prince ‘Cut’, ‘Station’ and ‘Steering’? Charles made head boy in 1967? 19) Who won Dancing on Ice 8) How many teeth should an 2014? adult person normally have? 20) Which 2 soap stars had a 9)What is the capital of the State 1989 No 1 hit with ‘Especially for of California? you’? 10) Who invented the pneumatic 21) Who wrote the children’s tyre? classic ‘Treasure Island’? 11) What does a philographist 22) Who succeeded Sir Winston collect? Churchill as the PM in 1955?

23)In which month of the year was Queen Elizabeth II born? 24)Which river flows through Sunderland? 25) The initials ‘SNCF’ are associated with the railway in which country? 26) Which country was the first to launch a satellite into space in 1957? 27) Who is England’s national football team manager? 28) What is the chemical symbol for silver? 29) Who confirmed her return to the X Factor after signing £1.5million deal last month? 30) In which decade was the first section of the M1 motorway officially opened?

Answers on page 76

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types of people on Facebook 1) The "Lurker" - Never posts anything or comments on your post, but reads everything, and might make reference to your status if they... see you in public. 2) The "Hyena" - Doesn't ever really say anything, just LOLs and LMAOs at everything. 3) "Mr/Ms Popular" - Has 4367 friends for NO reason 4) The "Gamer" - Plays Candy Crush & Pet farm rescue. 5) The "Prophet" - Every post makes reference to God or Jesus. 6) The "Thief" - Steals status updates.. and will probably steal this one. 7) The "Cynic" - Hates their life, and everything in it, as evidenced by the somber tone in ALL of their status updates. 8) The "Collector" - Never posts anything either, but joins every group and becomes fans of the most random stuff. 9) The "Promoter" - Always sends event invitations to things that you ultimately delete or ignore. "Liker" - Never actually says anything, buy always clicks the "like" button.

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types of people on Facebook

continued

10) The "Liker" - Never actually says anything, buy always clicks the "like" button

11) The "Anti-Proofreader" - This person would benefit greatly from Spellcheck, and sometimes you feel bad for them because you don't know if they were typing fast, or really cant spell. 12) The "Hater" - Every post revolves around someone hating on them, and they swear people are trying to ruin their life... 13) "Drama Queen/ King" - This person always posts stuff like "I can't believe this!", or "They gonna make me snap today!", in the hopes that you will ask what happened, or what's wrong...but then they never finish telling the story. 14) "Womp Womp" - This person consistently tries to be funny... but never really manages it. 15) The "News" - Always updates you on what they are doing and who they are doing it with, no matter how arbitrary 16) The "Rooster" - Feels that it is their job to tell Facebook "Good Morning" every day.

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NOT AGAIn SKIPPY! A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. This is her first time she is meeting his family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating their meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. SHE STARTS HAVING pains IN HER STOMACH THEY ARE are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud,but everyone at the table heard the pouf. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!". The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked and the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!" Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!". A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing! Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled...... "Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she POOPS on you!"

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WHO SAID YOU CAN’T BUY LOVE..?

A Man’s World

There's Now AN App ThAT will TexT Your wiFe or GirlFrieNd For You: An app has been released which will send out pre-selected texts to your wife/girlfriend. BroApp lets you draft out and schedule a number of messages that can be sent at a chosen time. The schedule of texts sent out will be changed accordingly if they have contacted you themselves. it serves to make you look like the caring type even though you wrote the loving message on saturday morning so you'd have super sunday in the pub free. There's also foolproof protection in place if she tries to open the app on your phone herself. she will instead be taken to a list of items you have been "planning" on buying her. CleVer!

24 CANS OF BEER... A husband and wife are shopping in their local supermarket. The husband picks up a case of Beer and puts it in their shopping trolley. "what do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only €10 for 24 cans" he replies. "put them back, we can't afford them" says the wife, and they carry on shopping. A few aisles farther on, the woman picks up a €20 jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. "what do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. "it's my face cream.” “it makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. her husband retorts: "so do the 24 cans of Beer and they are half the price."

ADVICE FOR THE FUTURE... Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, turns up ar the Golf Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. his buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the trophy girlfriend?' Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? she's my wife!' They are knocked over, but continue to ask. 'so, how'd you persuade her to marry you?' 'i lied about my age', Bob replies. 'what, did you tell her you were only 50?' Bob smiles and says, 'No, i told her i was 90.'

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Health Well Being &

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BLOOD PRESSURE...

CHECKING THE BLOOD PRESSURE IN BOTH ARMS COULD SAVE YOUR LIFE:

lifestyle to improve their heart health.

High blood pressure trebles the risk of heart attacks and strokes, can damage the kidneys and eyes, and is becoming increasingly linked to dementia. However, the symptoms often go unnoticed until it is too late.

Researchers at Harvard Medical School in the US took blood pressure readings from both arms of nearly 3,400 outwardly healthy men and women aged 40-plus.

Small differences in readings between the right and It has been reported a lot in the news recently but a left arms are normal. In the study, systolic pressure, big difference between the readings is an early sign the higher of the two figures in a blood pressure of heart disease. reading, varied on average by about five points. A study found that when there was a big difference But in 10 per cent of patients, there was a difference between the two readings, seemingly healthy people of ten points or more between arms. These men and were 38 per cent more likely to suffer a heart attack, women were 38 per cent more likely to have a heart stroke or other potentially deadly cardiovascular attack, including a fatal one, stroke or related probproblem. lem during the next 13 years. This suggests that something as inexpensive, quick If youâ€™re worried about your blood pressure or cardioand simple as taking an extra blood pressure reading vascular risk, speak to your Doctor or Medical could give patients valuable early warning of prob- Centre. lems. They could then make changes to their

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Medical Tips

Positively Pink & Positively Blue

Screening Programmes

Positively Pink & Blue are the Mijas based charities offering FREE breast and prostate / testicular cancer screening to UK expatriate’s living on the Costa del Sol. During 2013 over 560 women accessed our FREE breast screening programme with thankfully only a small number of ladies receiving a positive diagnosis. Some of these ladies have already had their treatment and we are pleased to report they are doing well but Positively Pink continues to support those ladies who are still receiving treatment. 2013 saw the introduction of the Positively Blue programme to provide education, awareness and support for prostate and testicular cancer. In its 1st year Positively Blue had an overwhelming response to the 100 free appointments that were on offer, infact the charity funded a total of 136 appointments for prostate cancer screening and educated them all on testicular cancer and the need to self examine. During the course of 2014 we have set ourselves the challenge of offering 1000 free breast screenings and 200 free Prostate blood tests / testicular cancer screening. The 2014 campaign began back in February and to date we have had a tremendous response but continue to offer appointments for later in the year (call 952 835 776 now to secure your place). For us to continue to be able to offer these FREE services we need your support, as we need to raise the necessary funds to pay for the mammograms, ultrasounds and PSA blood tests. As a charity we are very proud of the fact that ALL of the monies we raise is used solely for the purpose of funding the professionals to carry out the radiography and blood analysis, all of the charities costs are absorbed by the 2 companies behind the charity. .... did you know 50,000 women and 300 will hear the words you have breast cancer every year in the UK alone and this number continues to rise... 1 man dies every hour of Prostate cancer..... “early detection is your best protection”

Help us to help you.... 1. FIVE EUROS per person walking payable at registration. 2. Anyone NOT wearing Pink or Blue will take a forfeit and pay an extra ONE EURO 3. Anyone not wearing suitable shoes will forfeit and pay an extra ONE EURO (as decided by the registration marshals) 4. Anyone on their own will forfeit and need to pay ONE EURO EXTRA ... please bring a friend or several 5. Individual and team photos will be available at a cost of yet another ONE EURO... these will be emailed to you after the walk 6. Water stations will be available at various refuelling points around the course. 7. Maps of the route will be provided at registration 8. This is a "PAY TO WALK" for charity so no prizes for winners or losers it's just for fun for a GREAT cause... 9. THERE WILL BE A PRIZE FOR THE BEST DRESSED ON THE DAY this will be decided by the Positively Pink representative at registration 10. We will be walking on the beach so no dogs please.... also pushchairs may be a problem

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A Busy Monday in A&E...

It was 10am in an accident and emergency department of a hospitalâ€Ś. A patient arrived complaining of a serious back-pain. The doctor examined, and asked him, "Tell me, what happened to your back?" The patient explains, "I came home from my night shift early and entered my apartment this morning. I heard a noise and knew that someone was with my wife she is always fooling around behind my back. The door was open so I rushed to balcony, and saw a man running and dressing himself on the street. I grabbed the nearest heavy thing to me, which happened to be a fridge, and dropped it at him. That's how I strained my back." The doctor took the second patient, who looked like heâ€™d been hit by a car. The doctor asked him, "My previous patient looked terrible, but you look worst. What did you do?" He replied, "What to tell you doctor! After a long term of unemployment, today was the first day at my new job. My alarm did not go off. I was running really late. I was just leaving my building, getting dressed simultaneously, and you won't believe doctor, but I was suddenly hit by a falling fridge." The doctor took a look at the third patient; He looked like someone who had fallen from a plane without the parachute opening. The doctor was shocked heâ€™d never had such a busy Monday morning. Again he asked, "And now what on earth had happened to you?" "Well, I was sitting in a fridge, and someone threw it from the third floor."

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5IF BU Medi$BSF VOEFSTUBOE 5 IF UUFBN FBN B U Medi $BSF V OEFSTUBOE UUIF IF " " GVMM SBOHF PG TFSWJDFT DPWFSJOH GVMM SBOHF PG TFSSWWJDFT DPWFSJOH OFFE UP TFF BMM PG PVS DMJFOUT BT JOEJWJEVBMT O FFE UP TFF BMM PG PVS DMJFOUT BT JOEJWJEVBMT t 1PTU PQFSBUJWF DBSF SFIBCJMJUBUJPO t 1PTU PQFSBUJWF DBSF SFIBCJMJUBUJPO BOE UBJMPS FWFSZ DBSF QBDLBHF UP NFFU ZPVS B OE UBJMPS FWFSZ DBSF QBDLBHF UP NFFU ZPVS tt 4USPLF 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO 4USPLF 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO TTQFDJmD OFFET QFDJmD OFFET tt 1BMMJBUJWF $BSF 1BMMJBUJWF $BSF tt 0SUIPQBFEJD 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO 0SSUUIPQBFEJD 3FIBCJMJUBUJPO Established on the Costa del Sol since 2001 tt 3FTQJUF $BSF 3FTQJUF $BSF TTelephone: elephone: 952 835 776 tt %JTUSJDU /VSTJOH 4FSWJDFT %JTUSJDU /VSTJOH 4FSWJDFT 24 Hour Helpline: 667 733 520 tt (FOFSBM $BSF 4VQQPSU -JWF *O $BSF (FOFSBM $BSF 4VQQPSU -JWF *O $BSF tt &TDPSUFE 3FQBUSJBUJPO )PNF &TDPSSUUFE 3FQBUSJBUJPO )PNF www.medicarenursingservices.com www.medicarenursingservices.com Q Quality uality iinn eevery very aaspect spect ooff ccare are aass w well ell aass ssupport upport iinn ttimes imes ooff nneed! eed! info@medicarenursingservices.com info@medicarenursingservices.com

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Top 10 facts about

hearts

1. In an average human’s lifetime, the heart will beat around 2.5 billion times.

2. The human heart is not heart-shaped. A cow’s heart is more heartshaped than a human one.

3. The corneas of your eyes are the only cells in your body that do not receive a blood supply from the heart. 4. Women’s hearts beat faster than men’s: an average of 78 beats a minute compared with 72. 5. The adjective most often used before the word ‘heart’ is ‘broken’.

6. The energy of a day’s heart-beating would be enough to drive an average truck 20 miles. 7. The sound of a heartbeat is the noise made by the four valves of the heart closing. 8. The King of Hearts is the only playing card king without a moustache.

9. A human heart weighs between 250 and 350 grams (about 9-12 ounces).

10. The names of the four chambers of the heart, two atria and two ventricles, come from the Latin words ‘atrium’ (entrance hall) and ‘ventriculus’ (small stomach).

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A WALK INTHEWOODS

Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' He called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave. The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian what it was all about, 'Was the other Indian crazy or what?' The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw in there waiting for us. Just then they came upon another cave. The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and hollered, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Immediately, there was the answer. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside. He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening. The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'WOW, man! Look at the size of this cave! It is bigger than those the Indians found. There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!' He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his might... 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an answering call... 'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!' With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced into the cave tearing off his clothes as he ran. The following day, the headline of the local newspaper read... NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!!

April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:19 PM Page 43

April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:19 PM Page 44

Longest Running Production Cars...

Someone asked us which is the longest running production car, and it set us thinking...

The longest running production car is the Jeep, now made by General Motors, however it wasnâ€™t always made by GM, originally produced by Bantom, then Ford and most famously by Willys all for the American Army. It is still the same basic shape.

The VW Beetle (although not originally named at all) is next having been in continuous production since 1934 with only one major model change. Others that have stood the test of time are the Mini, again with only one real major change in shape, which was produced originally in 1951 by BMC and called the Austin 7 or the Morris Mini Minor

The Porsche 911 has been around since 1963 and evolves rather than changes.

The Ford Mustang has seen lots of model changes since 1964, but the current model looks like a modernised version of the original.

Toyotaâ€™s Corrolla has seen lots of changes since it was introduced in 1966.

The Skyline GTR is no newcomer; it was first produced in 1967 produced by Prince, who later became Datsun before changing their name to Nissan.

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April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:20 PM Page 46

don’ t annoy the landlord! A landlord is behind the bar when in walks a businessman. “What’ ll you have?” asks the publican. “A scotch, please,” says the businessman. The bartender hands him the drink, and says, “That’ ll be two quid.” “What are you talking about?” says the man, angry. “I don’ t owe you anything.” A nearby lawyer turns to the bartender. “You know, he’ s got you there,” he says. “In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.” The bartender’ s not impressed, but relents as he turns to the first man. “OK, you got yourself a free drink. But don’ t ever let me catch you in here again.” The next day, the same businessman walks into the bar – and the landlord is furious. “Get out! I can’ t believe you’ ve got the audacity to come back!” “What’ re you talking about?” says the man. “I’ ve never been in this place in my life.” The barman is suddenly embarrassed. “I’ m very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double.” The businessman grins at him. “Cheers! Make it a scotch.”

April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:20 PM Page 47

In Introducing troducing t the he a all ll ne new wP Powakaddy owakadd ddy y F Freeway reeway Digital Digital a available av vailable in Black Black or W White hite a and nd wi with th L Lithium ithium or l lead ead owakadd years a acid cid B Battery. attery. P Powakaddys ddy ys years of e xperience wi th el ectric experience with electric t rolleys h as j ust trolleys has just go t bet ter. got better.

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April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:20 PM Page 48

Top 10 facts about CHILLIES

1. Chillies were being eaten in Central and South America as long ago as 7,000BC, which gives them claims to be the worldâ€™s old est condiment.

2. The small, round Chiltepin chilli pepper was used as a tax payment, paid to Aztec emperors.

3. Chilli strength is measured in SHUs (Scoville Heat Units).

4. Scoville ratings range from zero for bell peppers to 16 million Scoville units for pure capsaicin (the chemical giving a chilli its heat).

5. The world record for eating pickled jalapeno chillis is 275 in eight minutes.

6. The hottest part of a chilli is where the seed is attached to the white membrane inside the pepper. 7. The village of Hatch in New Mexico describes itself as the chilli capital of the world.

8. Chillies originated in the Americas. They were brought to Spain in 1493 by Diego Alvarez Chanca, a physician who sailed with Columbus.

9. In February 2012, a Moruga Scorpion chilli was the first to measure over 2,000,000 Scoville units.

10. The measure equals the degree of dilution needed before you can no longer taste the heat.

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teleweb internet & telephone just got better!

tion for someone who lives here full time. Do you have a wireless internet system that you are not happy with? Teleweb will convert you over to their service at no cost. What have you got to lose?

HAVE A UK No IN SPAIN!

teleweb – “Pay as you go” internet

Teleweb Internet & Telephone, has been providing wireless internet services since 2003, and in that time, has seen consistent growth and added new exciting services to its well established high speed 5GHz wireless internet service. FLEXIBILITY: Because you do not need a land line, you can have internet on a “Pay as you go” system. There are flexible solutions ranging from 1 hour to a permanent connec-

Teleweb offers a telephone system (without the need for a landline) with calls from 1.8c per minute. It is just like a Telefonica landline without the wires. No need to have your computer on to make and receive calls. Choose a telephone number from your home country or just elect to have a Malaga number. This system will work anywhere in the world with the same low call costs, you just need an internet connection. For more information on any of the above, please call Teleweb on 952 833 300 or Email: info@teleweb-marbella.

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mmm, chocolate! FACTS... •If you get melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly. •Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want. •The problem: How to get two pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the car park. •Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less. •A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy? •If you can't eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. But if you can't eat all your chocolate, what's wrong with you? •If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves. •Money talks. Chocolate sings. •Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger. •Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Because no one wants to quit. •Put "eat chocolate" at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

HAPPY EASTER !!!

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April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:22 PM Page 52

Strangebuttrue...

HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHICH ANIMAL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR KILLING THE MOST PEOPLE? Perhaps a shark? Maybe some type of snake or spider? Or maybe some sort of large land mammal like a grizzly bear or a lion?

If you were thinking along those lines, then I’m sorry to disappoint, but the deadliest animal known today is quite a bit smaller than all of those. Strange but true, they are found almost everywhere, on every continent except Antarctica, our deadliest animal is the mosquito!

HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? Mosquitos are notorious for transmitting diseases. They carry with them diseases like malaria, dengue fever, yellow fever, encephalitis, West Nile virus, and countless others. Acting as vessels for diseases, mosquitoes transmit these diseases to either us, or animals. These diseases can then make us very ill and sometimes even lead to death. It is not actually one type of mosquito that is transmitting all of these diseases, but in fact, it’s several. The most common belong to the genera Aedes (Dengue and Yellow Fever), Anopholes (Malaria and Canine heartworm), and Culex (West Nile, Encephalitus and Avian Malaria).

AT MORE THAN 1 MILLION FATALITIES EACH YEAR, THE MOSQUITO IS MOST CERTAINLY THE DEADLIEST OF ALL ANIMALS.

THE DEADLIEST ANIMAL ON EARTH!

WHY THEY BITE... Mosquitoes need the protein in our blood, or the blood of other animals, in order to lay their eggs. This means that only the female mosquitoes need blood. In other words, next time you find yourself scratching away at one or more of those incredibly itchy and annoying mosquito bites, you can thank female mosquitoes for that. The male mosquitoes are content living off plant nectar.

The way a female mosquito bites us is by sticking her thin, sharp proboscis into our flesh. As she draws blood she inserts some of her saliva along with anticoagulants to keep the blood from clotting. This is where the danger lies and gives mosquitos the rightful title of being the most deadly. In the mosquito saliva there could be viruses and parasites lurking, ready to infect us. Although attempting to hide completely from mosquitoes might not work, there are plenty of things we can do to make our live a little easier and safer, such as: • Wear long sleeves & troucers. • Put on mosquito repellents that contain DEET.

• Avoid being outside during dawn, dusk, or late evening.

• Eliminate stagnant water. Stagnant water attracts mosquitos & gives them a good place to lay their eggs.

• If you have a pond, consider stocking it with Gambusia, which feed off mosquito larvae.

GARDEN CENTER L I N D AV I S TA

Ctra de Cadiz, Km171,29670, San Pedro de Alcantara, Behind McDonalds in San Pedro. Tel; 952785206

HU GE RA NGE OF: POT S lG ARD E N TO OLS lPLA NT S FLOW ERS & S HRU B S lG A RDEN FU RNI TU RE lG A R D E N O R N A M E N TS

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April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:22 PM Page 54

FINANCIAL NEWS

Well good news just about everything went right for the euro last month. With the exception of the French services sector, firms throughout Euroland reported growing business.

Economic growth in the zone was confirmed at 0.3% in the fourth quarter of 2013. Retail sales rose by 1.6% in January and German industrial production was up by 5% on the year. However, what really sent the euro higher was the European Central Bank's decision not to wheel out any measures to lift inflation from 0.8% to its 2% target.

The ECB president repeated his reassurance that inflation would go up - eventually - without the need for ECB interference. Whether or not they believed that, investors were relieved that the ECB was not about to embark on a bondbuying programme. They sent the euro a cent higher against sterling and the US dollar.

Bad news for the UK, their trade deficit widened to worse than expected from 7.7bn GBP to 9.8bn GBP in January, also lets see what the budget brings for the UK UK firms, we are told will actively be hiring in the electronics and the car industry.

If you would like further information please contact Moneycorp on

952 587 657

and quote Costa Link Magazine

April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:22 PM Page 55

April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:23 PM Page 56 Stuck for lunch on Easter Sunday? A leg of lamb stretches to feed a crowd of up to eight, especially when combined with sliced potatoes and carrots in gravy, a slight twist on the traditional.... YUM!

Garlic roast lamb & hotpot potatoes

Ingredients:

•1.8kg part-boned leg of lamb •5 garlic cloves, sliced •A few rosemary sprigs •A few thyme sprigs, plus a few extra to serve •50g butter •2 large onions, thinly sliced •400g pack diced mutton or lamb shoulder •2kg large potatoes - thinly sliced

Method:

•300g carrots, sliced at an angle •3 tbsp plain flour •700ml lamb or beef stock, plus 450ml (optional) •2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce •Steamed green beans •Wilted spinach with nutmeg (optional)

1) Heat oven to 190C/170C fan/gas 5. Cut small pockets into the skin and flesh of the lamb by piercing it with the point of a sharp knife. Stuff each pocket with a slice of garlic, using 3-4 of the cloves, and a few leaves of rosemary. Stuff some more inside the lamb, with some thyme, where the bone has come from. Put in a roasting tin, season well and cover with foil. 2) Melt half the butter in a large frying pan. Fry the onions, stirring frequently, until softened and golden. Tip into a second large roasting tin. Cook the chopped mutton or lamb in the pan until brown. Add to the onions in the tin, and toss with the potatoes, carrots, remaining garlic and herbs (chopped), 2 tbsp of the flour and some seasoning. 3) Pour the stock into the frying pan, then add the Worcestershire sauce and the remaining butter. When melted and boiling, pour over the potatoes, cover with foil and bake with the lamb for 1 hr. 4) Uncover both the lamb and the hotpot, and cook for 45 mins more until the potatoes are golden and cooked all the way through. Allow the lamb to rest for 15 mins before carving. Leave the potatoes in the oven (covered if starting to brown too much) until ready to serve. 5) Drain the fat from the lamb’s roasting tin, reserving the juices. Put the tin on the heat and stir in the remaining flour. Pour in 450ml boiling water or stock and stir until thickened to a gravy. Cut the hotpot into 8 and lift onto warmed plates. Carve the lamb into thick slices and place on top, then spoon round a little gravy. Serve with the green beans and spinach – add a little grated nutmeg to the spinach, if you like.

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April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:23 PM Page 58

What’s On

Guide

Tikitano what’s on in April 2014: 3rd April: The Blues Brothers & Commitments Tribute - 6th April: Echoes of the 60’s - 10th April: The Ray Pack! - 13th April: ABBA Girls Tribute - 17th April: Elvis Tribute - 20th April: True Divas Tribute - 24th April: Michael Buble Tribute - 27th April: The Magical Musicals. For more information see the website www.tikitano.com or call 952 79 84 49. 11th April 2014 to 13th April 2014: Weekend Play Entertainment Show. The event will include an endless succession of activities, games etc, taking place at several venues at the same time. For more information www.weekendplay.es or call 627 77 10 18. 13th April 2014 to 20th April 2014: Holy Week, Semana Santa, in Andalucia is an event that literally transforms towns and cities across this region. Processions of elaborately decorated floats with Jesus and Mary statues. Malaga city centre has the biggest processions with the Virgins of Macarena and Triana, both making their grand appearance at 'La Madrugada', the small hours of Good Friday. From Holy Thursday to Easter Sunday traffic is closed off to the city centre and the solemn processions take over in the afternoons (so be sure to do your shopping in the morning). 30th April 2014: Swing Restaurant, Sabinilas presents Country Music Night with Hensler and the Texas Pearls - It is 20€pp including the show and cava on arrival also with 2 tapas and a FREE bar drink. For more information contact tel: 952 796 320 - tickets@livemusicspain.com - www.livemusicspain.com. Every Monday: Dance with JiveSpain at Howies, La Cala (formally Mijas Playa) from 8pm 11pm. For more information see website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211. Every Monday: 1st Coin Brownies meet 5pm-6.30pm at El Centro Nazareno in Coin. Suitable forages 7-10 years. Great fun for the girls. Contact www.1stcoinbrownies.info Every Monday: 11 am – 1 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at La Iglesia Bar, near Bonanza Square, Benalmadena Costa. Every Monday: Arts and Crafts Fair in Benahavis at 8pm in the Main Square in Benahavis. Every Tuesday: The Costa Women Coffee Club meet every second Tuesday at 10am – 12.30pm for coffee, chats and other activities and is a social group designed to get ladies of all ages together. It’s best to join the group via Facebook or contact Emma on 608 408 771. Every Tuesday: 11 am – 1 pm Age Care Coffee Morning where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at the Cafe in Supersol, El Zoco, Calahonda or call us on Tel 952 933 409 for more information. Every Wednesday: Dance with JiveSpain at New Friends Restaurant in San Pedro from 8pm 11pm. For more information see website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211. Every Wednesday: at 11:30am the Malaga Picasso Museum is offering free guided tours in English which is included with the price of admission. Every Thursday: Dance with JiveSpain at Tikitano Restaurant, Estepona from 8pm - 11pm. For more information seee website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211. Every Thursday: Market at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Thursday: Flea Market from 9am next to Aldi in Las Lagunas, plenty of parking. Every Thursday: 10 am – 12.30 pm: Age Care Drop In where people can chat, share experiences and find out about living in Spain at Manilla Bar, Paseo Maritimo, Los Boliches, Fuengirola. Every Friday: Dance with JiveSpain at Hotel El Goleto, Duquesa from 8pm - 11pm. For more information see website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211. Every Sunday: Dance with JiveSpain take over the dance floor at Atalaya Park Hotel. For more information see website at www.jivespain.com or call Colin on: 635 717 211. Every Sunday: Flea Market EVERY Sunday 10am till 2pm at Calypso, Calahonda. Every Sunday: FAMA have a car boot sale at the Hippodrome from 9am - 2pm. Every Sunday: Craft Market every Sunday in the Marbella Marina on the Teresa Zabell Pier: 126pm.

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April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:23 PM Page 60

ocal Info Emergency Numbers

---

Central number for Fire, Police & Ambulance National Police Local Police Guardia Civil dica

Medical

112 091 092 062

Emergency 061 Ambulance Marbella 902 505 061 Ambulance Coin 952 453 267

Train Timetables 902 240 202 Airports Malaga 952 048 844 Gibraltar 956 773 026

Health Centres

Marbella 952 769 946 Coin 952 452 767 San Pedro 952 787 700

Town Halls

Marbella 952 761 100 San Pedro 952 453 020 La Cala de Mijas 952 493 208 Fuengirola 952 589 300 Estepona 952 801 100

Fire Brigade

Emergency number 080 Marbella 952 774 349 Estepona 952 804 483 Fuengirola 952 461 046

Consulates

British Ireland Denmark Sweden Germany France U.S.A

952 952 952 952 952 952 952

Marbella Coin Estepona Fuengirola San Pedro

952 771 442 952 822 818 952 822 818 952 467 457 952 785 252

352 475 226 604 212 226 474

300 108 373 383 442 590 891

Tourist Information

Transport

Bus Stations Marbella 952 764 400 Coin 952 450 366 San Pedro 952 781 396 Estepona 952 800249 For a list of complete times www.andalucia.com/travel/bus

Markets

Monday - Marbella (fairground site on east side) Tuesday - Fuengirola (fairground near Los Boliches) Wednesday - Calypso (Mijas Costa & Estepona (Avda. Juan Carlos) La Cala - Feria ground Thursday - San Pedro (Recinto Ferial) Alhaurin el Grande - (La Fama) Saturday - Coin (Calle Urbano Pineda) & Nueva Andalucia (Next to Centro Plaza the Bullring). La Cala - Feria ground. Sunday - Puerto Estepona (Marina).

Cinemas

All the Cinemas listed below show films in English as well as Spanish. Call first to check what is showing that week. Marbella: Cinesur Plaza del Mar 952 766 941 La Ca単ada 902 333 231 Puerto Banus: Gran Marbella 952 810 077 Coin: La Trocha 951 315 039 Fuengirola Cinesur Miramar 902 221 622

Chemists

24 hour chemist Urb. Artola, Ctra. Cadiz Km 194. Marbella. Tel: 952 83 25 89

Taxis

Marbella Taxis 952 774 488 Mijas Costa Taxis 952 476 593

Diary Dates

01/04/2014: April Fools Day

13/04/2014: Palm Sunday 17/04/2014: Maundy Thursday (public holiday) 18/04/2014: Good Friday (public holiday) 21/04/2014: Easter Sunday 22/04/2014: Easter Monday (public holiday) 23/04/2014: St. George's Day

if you would like to sponsor this page please call 663 061 669

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April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:24 PM Page 62

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April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:24 PM Page 64

S TA R S I GN S

A look at what's in store for you during April 2014.....

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

Taurus

Gemini 64

Capricorn, Venus, the planet of love, will form a link with Jupiter and promises special attention to be paid to your relationships. If you are single communication will be the way to get romance to meet a new love maybe through a means you haven’t thought of yet. If you are in a relationship why not go walking together or take a short trip, it will be magical. At work Mars will be in retrograde, so it'll be here that the most exciting things will tend to happen, but also the most stressful in April 2014. The desire to stand out, the need to impose your will, the struggle for power and the confrontations with bosses or authorities will frequently accompany this configuration. However, try to reach your targets and act strategically, not impulsively. You want results, not war, don't you? Try to relax! This way you'll have a clearer mind and better results. Aquarius, Venus, the planet of love will be in Aquarius until April 5th 2014. Take advantage of these special days and don't waste any opportunity of building bridges or finding love! On April 5th 2014 Venus will leave you and will thus break the spell. The second and the third week of April 2014 may bring a conflict. You tend to overdo it at this time try to take it easy! April 2014 can help you advance professionally much further than you would have expected. Expect success and accomplishments, but also an increase of the income or other material advantages. Be careful when traveling and when taking trips in general! Beware, as April 2014 implies considerable risks financially! If you have any problems with health or such matters go to the doctor don’t just sweep things under the carpet. Pisces, on the evening of April 5th 2014 Venus, the planet of love, will arrive in Pisces. And it won't come empty-handed, but will bring the best it has got: charm, elegance, and good luck. If you're single, it'll be taken care of! It'll be one of the most favorable periods of the year to meet someone. The problem of the month April 2014 I hear you ask that is the possibility of having several offers and of not knowing which one to go for. At work you’ll have a greater chance of success or an exceptional opportunity. Also keep your finances in order, though, don't waste and don't risk, because Pisces' axis of money will be tense and you can have surprises. Earnings will be higher than usual and it's possible that you'll receive valuable gifts or that you'll benefit from other material advantages. Even if you feel wonderful and have other priorities, don't forget to exercise! Enjoy life as much as you can, but be careful about money! Aries, Mars will be spicing April 2014 up let’s just say you won't get bored. Your love life will be more exciting, livelier and more passionate than ever. However, along with the excitement there also comes the reverse never one to hold back Aries try to control your gestures and reactions. You could step on mine field and any wrong step could make a bomb go off. You're recommended not to give in to spontaneous impulses, to avoid aggressiveness because you will end up on the losing side. Beware of conflicts and situations that can generate violence or accidents! This month try to work systematically and don't make rash decisions that will bring you a lot of success financially, April 2014 promises nice earnings. The Sun in your sign will lend you a lot of vitality; especially in the first two weeks of April 2014 this is good because you’ll be busy. Try and take it a little easier for the last part of the month.

Taurus, Saturn and Mars, seem to have lost control in your sign everything will seem confused or muddled. Work will certainly have an important influence on your home life this month, the lines may appear to cross in ways you could not have thought possible. Venus however will bring you joy, regardless of the problems you'll face in April 2014, there are high chances to solve them you'll have an optimistic and constructive attitude. At work there will be a lot of agitation, work relationships will be tense, colleagues may even be angry. You'll be a nervous wreck by the end of the month, but the results will be worth the effort, you are going to be the star of the show, the top employee, all your effort will be rewarded. Go out and socialize as often as possible, meet with friends, join group activities!

Gemini, Venus, the planet of love, will be bringing changes to your career, and your love life. Mars is also in your sign meaning that your instincts will be making your decisions for you and not your head is possible that you may lose control! If you want new relationships to start or maybe an adventure, in April 2014 you'll have it all. But be careful who and what with, because there's the risk of some unpleasant consequences. You’ve been working hard or in difficult conditions for quite a while now, this is going to change in April 2014. You'll have high visibility, you'll enjoy appreciation and the liking of the people around you this will also bring monetary reward! In the first two weeks of April 2014 you'll overflow with energy: the Sun and Mercury will make sure of this. The last two weeks try and rest you may be prone to a cold or bug if you don’t put yourself first.

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Cancer

Leo

Cancer, April 2014 is going to be a great month for love and relationships! Venus and Jupiter will be in your sign bringing with them a boost to any relationship if you are single you will be feeling a romantic thrill. It promises to scattered with happy moments. It is even possible that a special, remarkable event may take place. At work special attention should be given to issues related to accommodation or properties some changes might also appear, which have been in the air for a while, but it is not excluded that completely unexpected changes occur as well. Also in general, financial transactions need to be looked at with caution throughout April 2014. You'd better let off steam by means of an energetic and sustained physical energy why not join the gym. Leo, you'll have a certain weaknesses this month you'll maybe become a bit jealous. In fact, in April 2014 will tend to stir the sore points in a relationship, which may become frustrating. You will favour privacy this month. Youâ€™ll want to be home with the family, rather than for going out or loud parties. As regards Career and Money, April 2014 will be amazing you can now highlight your talent as a leader and coordinator; you can mediate difficult situations and can win without competing. Speak only what you are supposed to and have a moderate tone of voice! From the financial point of view, you'll have bright perspectives especially for earnings through third parties or investments. Youâ€™ll have much more energy health wise than pervious months and anxieties have partly dissipated.

Virgo

Virgo, you'll want to socialise, talk and be out and about this month. If you are single or in the mood for romance your heart will urge you to love, and you'll have plenty of opportunities to find what you are looking for. If you're single, there might appear favorable opportunities to meet the right person. If you're in love, you'll probably enjoy nice days and nights full of charm. This is due to Venus being in your sign throughout April. Virgo's work will go well in April 2014, especially if it is connected to communication or contracts. Everything seems to be easier; you are getting along with other people much better. Beware, as April 2014 implies considerable risks financially! Talk about your problems with the people close to you! You'll find the answers to your questions close to hand.

Libra

Libra, expect retrograde Mars in Libra and the Sun-Uranus in your sign to cause allsorts of issues this month. It's a combination that will place your home life outside the limits of normality; it will turn situations upside down and maybe cause incidents. It's important that you try not to become impulsive and that you thoroughly weigh the possible consequences before you act. On the work front April 2014 will be a very tiring month for Libra people, but with high potential for success and possibly for financial profit. Regardless of your priorities no matter how urgent they seem to be, don't neglect health! Focus on important things and don't let your agenda get too busy, mind your own business and let the others manage by themselves for a change. Do what you think is best for your inner harmony!

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Scorpio, the planet of love Venus, will be superbly located in your sign this month it will be on excellent terms with other planets, so April 2014 will be the peak of the year when it comes to love. If you're yearning for love, it will show up at any time. If you have a hot relationship, you'll have butterflies in your stomach, romantic thrills in your heart. At work April 2014 will be a very active month, with many more responsibilities but this will bring satisfaction as well. Expect some changes or novelty in the work style or environment maybe the atmosphere you work in. Financially, you'll be very well off, but you shouldn't waste money, either. Health should be the priority of April 2014 for Scorpios. Even if you have natural good resistance, the body has a limit, so you shouldn't push it or subject it to experiments. A diet of detoxification for a few days would be recommended.

Sagittarius, Mercury and the Sun will cross your relationship sector in the first two weeks of April 2014. The atmosphere will become electrifying, the heart will be full of romantic enthusiasm, and passionate tendencies will grow exponentially. If you feel restless this use your extra energy to go to the gym. April 2014 may bring Sagittarius people unique moments, but it can also provide them with huge surprises. Try to avoid conflicts! At work you will be caught in a creative and innovative whirl. You'll have ingenious ideas, lust for experiments and adventurous or radical ideas. If so, try to stop for a moment before getting involved and to weigh the stake, benefits and risks! Don't mix money with love and friendship you can never know what to expect this month, so watch out!

Puzzle It Out

April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:24 PM Page 66

Crossword

Solutions on page 76 Across: 7. put through (7) 9. run off to wed (5) 10. charged for service (3) 11. tens of hundreds (9) 12. name tag (5) 14. amaze (7) 16. longed for (7) 18. waterway (5) 19. connected to the footbone (9) 20. part of a circle (3) 21. perfect (5) 22. hold up (7) Down: 1. in an effective way (8) 2. capable (4) 3. about teeth (6) 4. single room to rent (6) 5. a change for worse (8) 6. jewels (4) 8. a couple of cooking pots (3,8) 13. traitor (8) 15. fragile (8) 17. wind up (6) 18. weird (6) 19. eager (4) 20. minute particle (4)

Sudoku

Brain Teaser

NAME THAT COUNTRY A) I am a country located in western Europe. The only country I border is Spain and in my history I have been the birthplace of many great explorers. B) I am located in central Europe, with several different countries touching my borders, including Germany and Czech Republic. My capital is Warsaw, and I have 16 provinces. C) Located in northern South America, I am a small country with a population of 697,181. My capital is Georgetown.

Say What You See...

ON ME 66

chance

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April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:24 PM Page 68

The Jokes page

Jokes page

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn’ t seem to get her tomatoes to turn red. One day while taking a stroll she came upon a gentlemen neighbour who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman... “What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?” The gentlemen responded... “Well, if you must know, t wice a day I stand in front of my tomato garden -and expose myself, and my tomatoes turn red from blushing so much.” Since the woman had tried everything else she could think of and was out of ideas, she decided to try doing the same things to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So t wice a day for t wo weeks, she exposed herself to her garden, hoping for the best. One day the gentlemen was passing by and asked the woman... “By the way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red? “No,” she replied...... “But my cucumbers are enormous.”

Q: Why did the pony cough? A: He was a little horse...

An attractive young lady decided to head for the Far East, and stowed herself away on the first ship available. After a month, she was discovered by the captain, who was surprised to see that, despite her time at sea, she was remarkably well fed and clean. Though realising she must have been befriended by someone on board, he was surprised when she admitted that she had been to the cabin of his trusted first officer every morning. Apparently, the nice young man provided a hot bath and three-course meal, and said that he would continue to do so until they reached Japan. "And what did he ask in return?" demanded the captain. "Well, you might say that he took advantage," blushed the girl. "I'll say he did," chuckled the old sea dog, rubbing his whickers. "You're on the Liverpool to Birkenhead ferry!

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One after noon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. "Quick," said the woman to her lover," into the closet!" and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked. The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. "Who are you?" he asked him. "I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator. "What are you doing in there?" the husband asked. "I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man replied. "And where are your clothes?" asked the husband. The man looked down at himself and said... "Those little buggers!"

Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone." George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore." Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark . . . "

"Doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, T's and H's "Well you can't say fairer than that then"

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April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:24 PM Page 70

April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:26 PM Page 71

Marble Floor Polishing Phone Paul: 654 589 218

Before

After

Free advice on how to care for your floors at www.marblefloor.info

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April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:26 PM Page 76

Puzzle It Out Solutions FromPages 20 & 76

Crossword Solution

Just Say What You See

Harrys Sports Bar

1. Lean on me 2. Fat chance

Brain Teaser All live sports and premiere league football. Six TV’s and big screen. Full menu, Sunday roast and homemade tapas. Large sun terrace. Open 10amlate, seven days a week. Upstairs Los Jarales, Calahonda

To advertise in the most popular A5 magazine on the Costa del Sol with rates starting at 35€ call: 951 216 131 76

email: sales@costalinkmagazine.com

A) Portugal B) Poland C) Guyana

Trivia Quiz Answers

1) 12 Years a Slave 2) Baldrick 3) MacBeth 4) Colorado 5) Rudyard Kipling 6) Malta 7) Gordonstoun 8) 32 9) Sacramento 10) John Dunlop 11) Autographs 12) December 13) Helicopter 14) Chlorine 15) 14 16) Alabama 17) Jim Henson 18) Power 19) Ray Quinn 20) Kylie Minogue and Jason Donovan 21) Robert Louis Stevenson 22) Anthony Eden 23) April (21st April 1926) 24) Wear 25) France 26) Russia (Sputnik 1) 27) Roy Hodgson 28) Ag 29) Cheryl Cole 30) 1950’s (2nd November 1959)

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April 2014 Costa Link Magazine_Editorial Layout 3/25/14 5:26 PM Page 79

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