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08 27 14 entire issue lo res

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The Corne¬ Daily Sun

winners, losers and WTFs of the

Questions Remain After Fatal Simeon’s Crash

Students returning this fall may have noticed something new downtown: A large hole in the Commons’ facade where Simeon’s Restaurant once was

Most of the walls have been replaced with boards, the result of an accident on June 20, in which a runaway tractor-trailer killed one and injured several as it into Simeon’s Restaurant on the corner of Aurora and East State Street

In the weeks following the accident, which resulted in the partial destruction of the building, Ithacans have rallied together to support those harmed and address highway safety

‘One of the Worst Incidents’

At approximately 4:09 p m on Friday, June 20, 37-year-old Viacheslav Grychanyi a truck driver from Spokane, Washington lost control of the brakes on his truck and crashed into the building on the corner of Aurora and East State Street while attempting to turn right onto Aurora Street The building, built in 1872, housed Simeon’s Restaurant, Cornell Barber Shop and several apartments Eyewitnesses, including Ithacan Nico Wright, said the driver blared his horns as the trailer-truck sped down State Street, at approximately 40 to 50 miles per hour before the crash He was driving a commercial truck carrying four cars for Quality Relocation Services, said Ithaca Police Department Chief Jamie

Gorge Safety Program Honors Rand ’12

The University dedicated its increased efforts to promote safety around Fall Creek and Cascadilla gorges to Nathaniel Rand ’12, a student who died in a swimming accident in July 2011, in a ceremony at the Cornell Plantations

Tuesday

In the wake of Rand’s death, his parents, Dr Jacob Rand and Maggi Rand, pushed the University to better educate students about the dangers of swimming in the gorges and to increase safety measures along the gorges, The Sun previously reported These efforts are now officially known as the “Nathaniel Rand ’12 Memorial Gorge Safety and Education Program ”

“It always has been and always will be a challenge to educate everyone about the hazards that these remarkable formations of water and stone present, ” President

David Skorton said at the dedication event “With the Nathaniel Rand Gorge Safety Program, I really believe we now have significantly better ways to meet that challenge ” Todd Bittner, director of natural

areas for the Cornell Plantations and the chair of the University’s Gorge Safety Committee, said the University has completed multiple projects to increase safety around

Not forgotten | Maggi Rand receives a hug from Susan Murphy ’73 Ph

Tw o C o r n e l l i a n s Pro f Jeffrey Hancock, communication and information science, and form e r d o c

e Guillory ’13 authored a controversial study earlier this summ e

Facebook altering the news feeds of nearly 700,000 users without their consent

The study, published June 17, was part of an experiment to test whether social media websites have an effect on users ’ moods by deliberately showing users content that was happier or sadder than normal Facebook controls the order and has the ability to control the types of stories users view in their news feeds, according to The New York Times Facebook revealed in late June that it had manipulated users ’ news feeds in the interest of psy-

w h i c

c u r re n t l y m a k e a n y f o r m a l

a y m e n t s t ow a rd s t o r m w a t e r f e e s w i l l b e c h a r g e d f e e s b a s e d o n s q u a re f o o t a g e o f i m p e r v i o u s s u r f a c e , T h e Su n p r e v i o u s l y r e p o r t e d Ta xe xe m p t p ro p e r t i e s t h a t h a ve t h e i r ow n s t o r m w a t e r m a na g e m e n t s y s t e m s c a n re c e i ve a c re d i t o f u p t o 2 0 p e rc e n t o f t h e i r f e e , a c c o rd i n g t o T h e It h a c a Ti m e s C h r i s t o p h e r B o r d l e m a y, C o r n e l l Wa t e

chological testing The research was published in an article titled “

Academy of Sciences

“[The results of the experi-

influence

own emotions,” the study said Hancock and Guillor y analyzed the results from Facebook’s research and coauthored the arti-

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Weird News of the Week

Bear Heads Stolen From Remote Maine Cabin

FARMINGTON, Maine (AP) The person who broke into an off-the-grid cabin in remote western Maine didn’t get away with money, je welr y or other valuables Police say the thief took a pair of bear heads

Waterboro family repor ted last week that someone had broken into their cabin in secluded Alder Stream Township sometime over the summer

Nichols tells the Morning Sentinel the family hadn’t been to the cabin since April, so the exact time of the break-in is not known

Schindler’s List Played For Swedish Nazis

STOCKHOLM (AP) Neo-Nazis rallying in the Swedish city of Norrkoping have been greeted by the theme song from Schindler’s List ringing from the bells of city hall

Local government spokesman Ulf Mossberg said city officials decided the tune from Steven Spielberg’s Oscar-

p.m.

a.m.

winning Holocaust drama was an appropriate way to demonstrate the city’s belief in “the equal value of all people ” He said the bells of the clock tower played the song before and after a political rally Tuesday by the Party of the Swedes, a small extremist group that wants to stop immigration and reser ve Swedish citizenship for people with “ Western genetic and cultural heritage ” The party aims to win seats in local assemblies across Sweden in Sept 14 elections

Meat Truck Driver Charged

QUEENSBURY, N Y (AP) State authorities have charged the driver of a truck that lost part of its load of expired meat outside an upstate New York mall, resulting in some irate motorists whose vehicles drove over the stinky spill

The Post-Star of Glens Falls reports that the Albany man was charged with disposing of refuse on a highway Officials say the driver for Albany-based Baker Commodities was in the Queensbur y area last month to pick up expired meat and grease from Aviation Mall

Dozens of vehicles drove through the spill and wound up having to be cleaned to remove the rotting remnants

Sept. 2nd DISPLAY ADS: • for the Tues. Sept. 2 issue of The Sun are due Thurs. Aug. 28 by 3:00 p.m. • for the Wed. Sept. 3 issue of The Sun are due Fri. Aug. 29 by 3:00 p.m.

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Cornell Store Debuts New Academic Materials Dept.

Textbooks will now remain in store all semester long

The Cornell Store modified its textbook shelving system keeping textbooks on-site all semester and arranging the textbooks alphabetically as par t of the debut of a ne w Academic Materials Depar tment this semester

Ac c o rd i n

Cornell Store, the store “always had to be creative” about the use of space, given its small size relative to the population it ser ves

While the store ’ s previous approach was to move the textbooks in and out of t

W

said, a desire to keep the textbooks on-site as well as obser vations of other college bookstores’ success and ne w trends in textbook shopping prompted a shift

“ This installation finally creates an Academic Materials Depar tment on the lower level of the store where these products all live together,” said Fred Piccirilli, director of The Cornell Store

Among the changes are ne w digital

labels which can change instantly to reflect price drops and ne w shelving units While in past years shelves were organized by course, textbooks are now arranged alphabetically by an author’s last name, which, along with the ne w customdesigned units, prevents inefficient use of space, according to Whiteleather

“At Cornell, a large number of titles are used in multiple courses, so in the previous layout a given title would be shelved in multiple locations,” Whiteleather said “Now that each title is in only one location, fe wer linear feet of shelving are needed so the overall footprint of the academic materials depar tment is smaller ”

To

according to Whiteleather The in-store kiosks now sor t booklists alphabetically by author, and smar tphones can be used to access The Cornell Store’s mobile website, where students can find their book lists in alphabetical order

Some students, however, say they are disoriented by the ne w system

“I bought the wrong book because it was on the same topic and the author had

,

written a similar book and on the row it didn’t say what class is was for, so I ended up buying it for the wrong finance class,”

Hillar y Hofer ’15 said

Hofer added that she did not find it helpful to go to different locations to find multiple books for a single class

Mariel Terr ’17 echoed this sense of confusion

“I’ve been r unning around a bit more in circles,” she said

Other students, however, found the process straightfor ward

“I liked that ever ything was alphabetized,” said Laura Pineda-Bermude z ’18,

Cornell Store for the first time “[It was] pretty easy to navigate with a fe w exceptions ”

According to Whiteleather, the ultimate goal of the changes was to improve the overall experience for both staff and customers

“ We were excited to find a solution that is creating huge savings in staff time, while also providing a more attractive academic materials depar tment and enabling textbooks to be a feature in the store yearround,” Whiteleather said

Talia Jubas can be reached at tjubas@cornellsun com

Local Radio Station Raises More Than $3,000 for Simeon’s Victims

A previous version of this story was published online on Aug 4

A benefit event hosted by Cornell radio station WVBR at Lot 10 Aug 2 raised more than $3,000 for those affected by the Simeon’s crash on the Ithaca Commons, according to event organizers

The nine-hour event, titled “Real Rock Relief,” featured over a dozen local musicians and was attended by hundreds, raising money through food and silent auction prizes provided by local businesses

“This is one of the biggest promotional events we ’ ve had in 15 years, maybe,” said Matt Harkins ’16, general manager of WVBR

“It’s really a credit to the Ithaca community that this event turned out so well ”

According to Harkins, all proceeds from the event will go toward a support fund managed by the Downtown Ithaca Alliance Money will be distributed to individuals affected by the June 20 Simeon’s crash that killed a pregnant mother based on an application and screening process

“[The DIA] is very familiar with Simeon’s, and they screen the candidates and make sure they need the money and distribute food and that kind of stuff,”

Harkins said “They’ve been really great to work with so far They donated two items to our silent auction and promoted the event through their marketing ”

The silent auction featured

prizes worth over $3,500 in combined estimated value from local businesses including Cinemapolis, the State Theatre of Ithaca, John Thomas Steakhouse, Viva Taqueria, P&C Fresh and Ithaca To Go

“It’s really a credit to the community that this event turned out so well.” M a t t H a r k i n s ’ 1 6

Ithacans were eager to participate in benefit event, according to Dan Cole, host of Tuesdays With The Band on WVBR and an organizer of the event, despite the “ very short notice” that was provided for bands and businesses

“It’s summertime and bands have a lot of gigs booked, so I was wary going into it, but we were able to get six bands for the upstairs stage and four acoustic acts for the beer garden,” Cole said

Musical acts included Eden’s Apple, Ironwood, Metasequoia, Thru Spectrums, 5 Mile Drive, The Jeff Love Band, Samuel B Lupowitz, Cielle & Friends and Steve Gollnick

Alan Rose, one of the acoustic performers, said the event was a great example of how the Ithaca community supports itself

“One of the things that Ithacans do the best is take care of each other,” Rose said “[When Dan asked me if I could [perform at Real Rock Relief ] I didn’t even think; I’m like ‘ yes, I had to do this,

I had to be there ’” According to Harkins and Cole, WVBR is also looking into the logistics of releasing material recorded from the event as a way to continue raising money “We could have another benefit coming up, depending on how successful this one is,” Harkins said “ We’re recording all the bands, and potentially we ’ re going to be releasing a C D ” Harkins and Cole said while WVBR is primarily a student-run organization, it is also a community radio station that prides itself on its connections to Ithaca “Businesses and musicians alike, everybody was happy to get involved for the cause, ” Cole said

Noah Rankin can be reached at nrankin@cornellsun com

Cornell Sailing Center Burglarized

Cornell Police are seeking leads in a weekend burglar y at the Merill Family Sailing Center The building manager arrived and noticed that a safe which contained approximately $105 in cash as well as receipts and other miscellaneous items had been stolen from the office, according to a University press release Authorities believe the burglar y occurred sometime between 5 p m Saturday and 9 a m Sunday

Unlawful Possession of Marijuana On West Campus

Tw

Administrator on Friday at Keeton House for criminal

Department said

Reported Medical Emergency On College Avenue

Cornell University Police assisted the Ithaca Police

De

College Avenue Sunday, CUPD said

Compiled by Zoe Ferguson

Bookworm | A student peruses textbooks at The Cornell Store’s new Academic Materials Department yesterday
MICHELLE FELDMAN / SUN SENIOR EDITOR
M CHELLE FELDMAN / SUN SEN OR ED TOR
Caroline Donelan ’16 speaks about her piece at the Barbara L Kuhlman Student Scholars Fiber Art Exhibition, which opened yesterday in the Human Ecology Building
Work of art

Pregnant Woman Killed, Seven Others Injured in Crash

SIMEON’S Continued from page 1

Williamson the day after the crash

Immediately after the crash, people near the scene of the accident rushed into Simeon’s to pull people out of the crumbling building Witnesses including family members of those injured by the accident told reporters glass and debris littered the ground

“This is the heart of our city It’s the most popular corner ”

surrounding the restaurant and the air was filled with dust

Police officers and firefighters rushed to the scene, putting out a small fire that had broken out in the front of the truck, according to Barber They evacuated nearby buildings and closed off one square block around the scene as clean-up of the falling building began

“[Police Chief Barber] has been here a long time, and this is one of the worst incidents that he has seen, ” Williamson said at a press conference in June

According to Williamson, police took the driver who had suffered “superficial injuries” into custody and ticketed him for driving an over-length vehicle and having an inadequate braking system Grychanyi later pleaded not guilty to these charges on June 27, Ronna Collins, chief clerk at Ithaca City Court, told The Ithaca Voice

have hosted several benefit events and raised several thousand to support the employees at Simeon’s, as well as building tenants, Cornell Barber Shop staff and the owners of Titus Gallery, an art gallery located next to Simeon’s Among these events include a benefit sponsored by radio station WVBR, which raised over $3,000 dollars earlier this month

Meanwhile, the front of the collapsed building has been covered with boards, and pending more information on the cost the property owners will begin rebuilding

Improving the Roads

Since the accident, Ithacans have demanded accountability from the driver and raised questions about how the crush could have been prevented

The Cornell Barber Shop and a Simeon’s employee who lost consciousness during the accident have filed a lawsuit against Grychanyi and Quality Relocation Services, though no trials concerning the accident have begun, according to The Ithaca Voice A state police report will be finished by the end of August or early September

Mayor Svante Myrick ’09 mourned the loss of Bush and the destruction of the historic building

“This is obviously a very tragic day in the City of Ithaca and there’s not much solace,” Myrick said Rallying Together

Many people watched as crews began removing the roof the sagging building and the truck later that evening They waited eagerly for any news about those injured in the accident

By the next morning, many had left flowers and gifts mourning the loss of Amanda Bush in front of the scene

In the days ensuing the accident, restaurant and business owners reached out to Myrick looking for ways to support the families of those involved in the crash, according to Myrick

“Our community rallied together,” said Tom Parsons ’82, fire chief of the Ithaca Fire Department at a press conference the day after the accident “This will be a long recovery for people ” Since the accident, Ithacans

In the meantime, officials have raised and discussed questions about highway safety

“[P]redictably there are a lot of questions being asked Namely why did this happen, and what can we do to prevent it from happening again,” Myrick said “Those are the right questions ” Myrick said the city will look into what legal and physical barriers can be used to prevent such accidents in the future

The Ithaca Board of Public Works met in late July to discuss how the city can prevent a similar accident In addition, Myrick and New York State Assemblyperson Barbara Lifton (D-125th District) formed a group to evaluate highway safety in response to the accident

“This is the heart of our city It’s the most popular corner, ” Myrick said “Why this is so jarring is because any Ithacan could have been standing there ”

Sofia Hu can be reached at shu@cornellsun com

Back in the day | Pictured above is Simeon’s Resturant before construction on the Ithaca Commons began

New Stormwater Fee Will Go into Effect January 2015

STORMWATER

Continued from page 1

Bordlemay also said he feels that the credit rate of 20 percent passed by the city is “ too low ” “ The credit rate is meant to provide incentive for proper ty owners to mitigate their stormwater, ” he said “Give [better] credit to those who are, or who have taken, steps to implement stormwater mitigating features ”

C

stormwater infrastr ucture, ” which includes retention basins, rain catchment systems and 190,000 linear feet of stormwater piping, according to Bordlemay

The Common Council passed the stormwater legislation in an 8-2 vote on Aug 6 In an email, Alderperson Stephen Smith (D-4th Ward) said he voted in favor of the legislation in order to create a “ more equitable funding mechanism ”

“Before this legislation, homeowners and renters were covering more of costs propor tionate to how much stormwater they were generating Proper ties with large buildings and parking lots were not paying their fair share And non-profits weren ’ t paying anything at all,” he said “Under the new system, most will pay according to how much stormwater they generate ” Smith added that Cornell does “ great work” mitigating water on Nor th Campus, but that “ not much, if anything” is done for Cascadilla Creek

“Cascadilla is the creek that over flowed last winter leading to severe neighborhood damage and is also in need of significant repairs for the retaining walls that lead up to Cayuga Street,” he said

Alderperson Deborah Mohlenhoff (D-5th Ward), who also voted in favor of the legislation, described it as a “viable and flexible solution to the increasing financial challenges in maintaining the city’s aging infrastr ucture, ” but also said that Cornell’s concerns are “extremely

Univ.: Cornellians Not Directly Involved in Data Collection

FACEBOOK

Continued from page 1

l a r g e l y b e c a u s e Fa c e b o o k u s e r s f e l t t h e y h a d n o t c o n s e n t e d t o t h e re s e a rc h , a c c o rd i n g t o T h e Ne w Yo r k Ti m e s Fa c e b o o k a r g u e s t h a t by s i g n i n g i t s Te r m s o f Us e , e ve r y u s e r a g re e s t o a n y e x p e r i m e n t a t i o n by t h e c o m p an y H o w e v e r, H a n c o c k a n d

Pr o g r a m w a s r e q u i r e d , ”

C a r b e r r y s a i d T h o u g h s o m e s a y Fa c e b o o k s h o u l d h a v e o b t a i n e d m o r e e x p l i c i t c o n s e n t f r o m u s e r s , H a n c o c k s a i d i n a n A u g u s t i n t e r v i e w w i t h T h e Ne w Yo rk

Ti m e s h e b e l i e v e s t h e r e a r e t i m e s w h e n c o n s e n t c a n a n d s h o u l d b e w a i v e d i n s o c i a l re s e a rc h “ T h i s i s a n e w e r a , ” Ha n c o c k s a i d “ I l i k e n i t a l i t t l e b i t t o w h e n c h e m i s t r y g o t t h e m i c ros c o p e ”

valid ”

The new stormwater fee str ucture will go into effect in Januar y 2015, according to Bordlemay The next step for Cornell is to work with the City and the Board of Public Works to develop applicable credits for Cornell, he said Mohlenhoff said she looks for ward to seeing what the Board of Public Works designs as the credit program and the definitions of mitigation techniques

“Cornell’s input will be extremely useful as we work to design those elements of the program, ” she said Bordlemay described the new fee str ucture as a “work in progress ”

“It is my hope that the Board of Public Works recognizes all that Cornell does to improve stormwater quality, to reduce peak stormwater flow and to provide a costavoidance for the City,” he said

Aimee Cho can be reached at acho@cornellsun com

Gorge Improvements Include New Lighting, Maps

RAND

Continued from page 1

the gorges for students and visitors to campus

“Our mission to provide for safe and responsible uses of the gorges focuses on four principal elements of education, infrastructure improvements, enforcement and recreational alternatives,” Bittner said Bittner said infrastructure improvements have included over 12,500 feet of railings and fencing along the gorges, improved signage and maps, new overhead lighting and the rehabilitation of over 8,800 feet of trails along the gorges

Skorton and Bittner also highlighted the efforts of Gorge Stewards, a group of students who have helped visitors enjoy the gorges safely by walking the trails during the summer months and educating the public about the dangers posed by the gorges

and provide recommendations for safe and responsible use, ” Bittner said

The stewards have seen a significant decrease in the percentage of unsafe activities in the gorges since the program ’ s inception in July 2012, according to Bittner

“Since 2012, violations have dropped from a high of ten percent to just three percent this year, ” he said

The Rands said they expressed gratitude to Skorton and the University for their steps taken to increase gorge safety in honor of their son ’ s memory

“I know that it takes courage and I know that it takes a lot of work And as Nate’s mom, even though I know I will never have him back again, I am so proud that we were able to accomplish this in his memory, ” Maggi Rand said

“As [the Gorge Stewards] see students and visitors out on the gorge trails they engage them and share their wealth of knowledge about the gorges

Gu i l l o r y ’ s w o rk w a s l i m i t e d t o i n i t i a l d i s c u s s i o n s a n d c o l l a b or a t i o n w i t h Fa

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c e b o o k a n d a n a -

l y z i n g t h e r e s e a r c h r e s u l t s , a c c o r d i n g t o Un i v e r s i t y Sp o k e s p e r s o n Jo h n C a r b e r r y Ne i t h e r Ha n c o c k n o r Gu i l l o r y w a s d i re c t l y i n vo l ve d i n c o l -

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t h a t n o re v i e w by t h e C o r n e l l

Hu m a n R e s e a r c h Pr o t e c t i o n

l y i m p o r t a n t p r i n c i p l e , t h e b e d ro c k o f a l o t o f s o c i a l s c ie n c e , b u t i t c a n b e w a i v e d w h e n t h e i n t e r v e n t i o n , t h e t e s t , i s m i n i m a l l y r i s k y, ” H a n c o c k s a i d i n a n Au g u s

Dave Janeczek can be reached at djaneczek@cornellsun com

Zoe Ferguson can be reached at zferguson@cornellsun com

h e C o r n e ¬

a i l y S u n

Independent Since 1880

132ND EDITORIAL BOARD

HALEY VELASCO 15 Editor in Chief

CATHERINE CHEN 15

Business Manager

CAROLINE FLAX ’15

Associate Editor

NICK DE TULLIO ’15

Web Editor

RACHEL ELLICOTT ’15

Blogs Editor

ELIZABETH SOWERS 15 Design Editor

CONNOR ARCHARD 15

Sports Photography Editor

ANNIE BUI 16

News Editor

KAITLYN TIFFANY 15

Arts & Entertainment Editor

KATHLEEN BITTER ’15 Science Editor

CHARDAE VARLACK ’15

Associate Multimedia Editor

EMILY BERMAN 16

Assistant Sports Editor

NICOLE HAMILTON 16 Graphic Design Editor

EMMA LICHTENSTEIN 16

Marketing Manager

LUISE YANG 15 Human Resources Manager

ARIELLE CRUZ 15 Senior Editor

MICHELLE FELDMAN 15 Senior Editor

TYLER ALICEA 16

STEELE ’15

CHIUSANO ’15

REHBERG ’16

RANKIN 16

MEHROTRA 16

DOOLITTLE 16

XIAO ’16

ALTSCHULER ’16

FASMAN 16

RATHORE 15

15

UHLER ’15

DAVIS ’16

LEVY 16

JAYNE ZUREK 16

WORKING ON

SUN PHOTO

DESKERS Michelle Feldman 15 Sonya Ryu 16 ARTS EDITOR Sean Doolittle 16 Kaitlyn Tiffany ’15 NEWS DESKERS Annie Bui ’16 Noah Rankin ’16

ASSISTANT SPORTS EDITOR Sydney Altschuler 16

SCIENCE EDITOR Kathleen Bitter 15 DESIGN DESKERS Elizabeth Sowers 15 Catherine Leung 16 Emad Masroor ’17 NEWS NIGHT EDITOR Zoe Ferguson ’17

Editorial

In Support of Proposed Ithaca Police Policy Changes

ON MONDAY, MAYOR SVANTE MYRICK ’09 CREATED and released a new set of proposed guidelines for the Ithaca Police Department, which includes having cameras mounted on ever y police officer and vehicles The seven-point plan is in response to a situation that occurred on Aug 10, when Sgt John Norman pulled his weapon on two unarmed minority teenagers in Ithaca’s south side after a police chase in relation to two arsons and a burglar y We at The Sun believe that Myrick is moving in the right direction towards increased safety for citizens through additional protocol for the police

According to The Wall Street Journal, there was a study completed in Rialto, California, where an entire police force wore body-mounted cameras that recorded any interactions In the first year after the cameras were introduced, the reported use of force by officers declined by 60 percent and citizen complaints against police fell 88 percent If we can see these same results in Ithaca, then Myrick’s new guidelines in improving our safety will have proven effective

Though some have concerns about the efficacy of these programs, we believe that these programs will help the Mayor make great strides in reducing the separation between the police and citizens in Ithaca Hopefully, these new rules will reduce the chance that a similar incident to that which occurred in August will happen in the future While the internal review done by IPD determined that this incident was not race-based, these programs will have the additional benefit of preventing future bias incidents

While we are optimistic, we at The Sun are interested to see the results of Myrick’s proposal and the increased police sur veillance However, we believe that this will overall be a positive change

Th i s i s m y t h i rd f i r s t c o l u m n My f i r s t f i r s t c o l u m n s u g g e s t e d C o r n e l l re c r u i t B - l i s t c e l e b r i t i e s t o j o i n t h e

s t u d e n t b o d y ( n a m e l y Jo h n St a m o s a n d ,

h a l f o f t h e f o l k d u o Si m o n a n d Ga r f u n k e l , A r t Ga r f u n k e l ) A n d m y s e c o n d f i r s t c o lu m n a s k e d p e o p l e t o re c o n s i d e r p a re n t a l e m b a r r a s s m e n t , b e c a u s e t h e re i s n o w a y

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e m b a r a s s e s h i s o r h e r s e l f f a r m o re t h a n o n e ’ s p a re n t s e ve r c o u l d Un f o r t u n a t e l y, I h a ve n ’ t s a t n e x t t o St a m o s o r Ga r f u n k e l i n

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t o g e t c o m p l a c e n t a n d p u n c h yo u r t i m ec a r d b e f o r e f i n a l l y e n t e r i n g t h e “ r e a l w o r l d ” It i s e a s y t o t h i n k t h e re a l w o r l d w i l l b e s o m u c h e a s i e r Yo u a re p ro b a b l y r i g h t , b u t I g o t a s m a l l t a s t e o f i t t h i s s u mm e r a n d h a ve w a t c h e d a c o u p l e e p i s o d e s o f M T V ’ s Re a l Wo r l d s o I k n ow h ow g

Shaping a Safer Student Experience

Welcomeback to campus! If you ’ re a first-year student, congratulations and a special welcome to Cornell Regardless of where you are in your studies, I know you are eager to make the most of your time here Our daily mission as the Cornell University Police is to maintain a safe environment, and it is the University’s commitment as well and we need your help

It takes the investment of the entire Cornell community to keep our campus safe Each of us has a role, a responsibility to help make Cornell a respectful, civil and safe space Take care of yourself, seek help when it’s needed and please, look out for others in our community whenever you can I know we can ’ t count on everyone to be respectful, and unfortunately we must sometimes take precautions that feel intrusive to our sense of personal freedom

Most campus crimes are theft-related, impacting property more than people until you ’ re the person whose property is taken Theft often can be prevented by paying attention and taking simple steps: Use security devices such as bicycle, door and window locks Use window coverings to prevent an easy view into your home Don’t leave things that matter to you unattended in public spaces; take your electronics, wallets, books and coats with you, even during short breaks

Interpersonal crimes such as sexual assault, harassment, hazing and alcoholrelated incidents, while fewer in number, have a far greater impact on the wellbeing of individuals and the health of our community and like property theft, there are steps you can take to increase the safety of you and your fellow Cornellians:

As sa ul t, Ha r as sm ent a nd Bi as -re la te d Ac ti v i ty Any act of discrimination, protected-status harassment, sexual harassment, sexual assault or violence undermines Cornell’s mission and commitment to inclusiveness by threatening the educational experience, work and well-being of us all Our community must work together to create a culture where sexual assault, harassment, bias-related activity and violence of any kind are not tolerated Educate yourself about the many cultures with which you will come in contact Listen with a goal of understanding and treat each other with dignity, regardless of differences Because there are those who will take advantage of people when they are vulnerable, do what you can to reduce your vulnerability: Move about with friends, or at least let them know where you are going and when you expect to be back Walk on established, well-lighted pathways after dark; take advantage of our free Blue Light (late night) buses and walking escorts Keep your head up, unplug and be aware of your surroundings; and use one of the many Blue Light phones within easy reach throughout campus when you feel unsafe or need assistance Report harassing and discriminatory behaviors; don’t accept them

Se xu a l Vi o le nce From harassment to unwanted touching to rape, sexual violence occurs with disturbing frequency in society and on campuses across the country People of all genders are victimized while in college We welcome the national dialogue and new guidelines and laws from the federal government that support our own efforts to take a comprehensive approach to sexual violence prevention and response We ask you to make yourself aware of these efforts: Watch out for one another Step in or call for help immediately any time you see behaviors that could put someone in harm’s way To learn more about what Cornell is doing to prevent sexual violence on campus, how to report it, and where to get help, visit SHARE cornell edu

Hi gh -Ri sk Dr i nk i ng Most students at Cornell drink moderately or not at all The use of legal or illegal intoxicants (even in relatively small amounts) can impair one ’ s judgment and decision-making capabilities Intoxicants can influence a normally law-abiding, thoughtful, kind and considerate person to perform embarrassing, potentially dangerous, or even criminal, acts Maintain the integrity of your beverage of choice by keeping it with you at all times If you set it down and lose sight of it, even for a moment, leave it Don’t drink anything you have not poured or opened yourself Drink only in moderation, if you drink at all, and do not use illegal drugs or abuse prescription medications While people hold wide-ranging values about the use of alcohol and other drugs, at Cornell everyone is subject to the same Campus Code of Conduct and New York State Law Here are the facts: The legal age for consuming alcoholic beverages in New York is 21 Providing alcohol to minors under the age of 21 is a criminal offense New York has strict drinking and driving laws, and we have very active patrols to enforce them If someone you know or run into has had too much to drink or appears to be experiencing some other medical condition needing attention, call 911 immediately to get them evaluated by trained medical personnel

Ha zi ng Many of you will want to make the most of your college experience by joining a campus group, team or organization and doing so should never pose a risk to your wellbeing Most Cornell students, 82 percent, agree that “it’s never okay to intimidate or humiliate new group members ” Yet each year, some students experience physical and emotional harm because of hazing If you or a friend experiences hazing, visit hazing cornell edu to learn more about resources for care and to file a report Hazing has no place in the Cornell experience Co nt a ct Co rn ell Pol ic e Be aware of your surroundings and report behavior that seems suspicious to you If you see or hear activity that is questionable or possibly criminal in nature, call 911 right away If you are unsure about the urgency of the situation, call 607-255-1111, and we will help you sort out your concerns, or assign an officer to meet with you Other trusted leaders across campus can also connect you with resources for support and/or reporting, whether it’s a residence hall director, coach, professor or the Office of the University Ombudsman

You are an important part of what makes Cornell a wonderful place to be, and you deserve to get the best out of your experience here Help us keep our community as safe as possible Check us out on Facebook, and read my short weekly safety messages to keep current on safety issues around campus If you have any questions regarding the CUPD, or about what to do about a particular situation, please don’t hesitate to call us at 607-255-1111

Re: “Ithaca Police Sergeant Pulls Gun on Four Unarmed, Minority Teens,” News, published August 15, 2014

Samantha Weisman | A Weisman Once Said

(Cheesy) Advice From A SWUG and Taylor Swift

When I told people I was going to Cornell before the fall of 2011, everyone said that college specifically Cornell would be the best four years of my life Cornellians told me that I picked the perfect school and that I would absolutely love it Whenever I expressed worry, people told me that if there were ever moments that I didn’t love college, or if I ever had problems here, it would be okay Fast for ward three years: I’m a senior, which is (unfortunately) my class year, but also part of the abbreviation for Senior Washed Up Girl One of the first SWUG activities my roommates and I have participated in was S u n d a y night of O r i e n t a t i o n Week d u r i n g which we watched the V M A s ( M T V Video Music Awards), sat on the couch and drank wine Contrary to popular belief, my favorite par t of the VMAs was not Beyonce, but Taylor Swift As Taylor proudly sings in her ne w song, “ The haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate ” In addition to being a self-identified SWUG, I would also label myself an avid Taylor Swift fan I admire her confidence, sense of self and, most importantly, her ability to change Taylor Swift has received a lot of criticism for her newfound confidence, different sound and supposedly

“contrived” public character Originally criticized as a shy country girl with no personality, she is now scrutinized for her self-confidence and supposedly promiscuous dating life I wonder if she would be as constantly made fun of or judged if she were a man, but that is a topic for another column If you have not heard her new song, “Shake It Off,” many people say that it is too pop to sound anything like her traditional sound Most recently, her per formance on the VMAs has been criticized for showcasing the ne w, changed Taylor Swift As both a SWUG and a Taylor Swift fan, I believe that Taylor’s “Change” is not only a

took this advice a little too literally People would say ever ything would be okay, so I would wait until it was until the problem passed Usually, I have found, that does not work In fact, the times that my life here has gotten better were when I actively made changes, not when I waited for them to happen I have also resisted change because I thought I would be judged for it Instead of pursuing a major I wanted from the beginning, I was ner vous that I would not be taken seriously enough As a result, I was stuck in classes that weren ’ t for me, and I regretted it I didn’t even need to do something as drastic

I believe that Taylor’s “Change” is no only a good thing, but her change ca help me explain what I think is my b piece of advice for freshmen Corn is a place for you to change

good thing, but her change can help me explain what I think is my best piece of advice for freshman (and anyone else who wants to listen): Cornell is a place for you to change While ever ything is going to be okay (I promise it will), you need to be the person to make that change in order for it to happen

Although my time here on the Hill has been amazing, it has not been perfect like everyone said it would be There have been setbacks, challenges and crossroads And even when everything wasn ’ t okay, ever yone said that it would be soon Sometimes, I

scene While I can stress the importance of not waiting too long to make positive changes to your Cornell experience, Taylor can illustrate why you should not be afraid of those changes, and why the criticism you may receive could never outweigh how much the changes could impact your life for the better

as changing my major at the time, but if I had taken the initiative and spoken to someone about it, then maybe things would have been different

Like most seniors, I have grown, learned and made mistakes I’ve made friends, switched majors, gotten involved on campus, added minors, dropped one of them and countless other things that have not only shaped my Cornell experience, but also have shaped me I am not the same person I was when I stepped into Low Rise 7 for the first time, just as Taylor Swift is not the same girl she was when she hit the country music

So as you embark on this new era of your life, don’t be afraid to take initiative Don’t be afraid to change your major, or make new friends, or switch dorms Don’t wait to take a class you desperately want to take now a different semester take it now Don’t put up with a bad living situation or an unhelpful advisor If s o m e t h i n g isn’t working out for you like you thought it would, don’t wait for it to pass Make a change, talk to someone, ask for help And above all, don’t let the judgment of others influence that change This is your only undergraduate experience As cheesy as it sounds (hey, it is my last first week of school, I’m allowed), if you want to make the most of it, you’ll have to take it into your own hands Live it up, and remember: “The haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate ”

Kathy Zoner is the chief of Cornell University Police Guest Room appears periodically this semester
Mr. Gnu by Travis Dandro
Circles and Stuff by Robert Radigan grad

SCIENCE

Robert Guber ’15 Studies Cellular Stresses, Leads Research Board

Robert Guber ’15, a Hunter R Rawlings III Cornell Presidential Scholar, has a passion for research and a drive to help other students find their passion in lab as well

Since the spring of 2013, Guber has been a member of the Qi research lab, led by Prof Ling Qi, nutritional sciences He also has been involved with the Cornell Undergraduate Research Board since his fall semester sophomore year and is serving as co-president this year

One of the focuses of the Qi research lab is the role of the endoplasmic reticulum (ER), the protein factory in the cell, and how protein folding or misfolding relates to the normal function of human cells as a whole, Guber said The ER allows for the folding of proteins, but when proteins are improperly folded, the ER becomes stressed

Studies have shown that the ER stress-response may affect the development of insulin resistance and diabetes, according to Qi Guber performed experiments with mice as a way to model what actually happens in the human body Mice were used for comparison because their genome can be easily manipulated and mice and humans have many genetic similarities, Guber said

According to Guber, the goal for the project was to study the mechanism that enables cells to return to their normal, non-stressed states so that they can carry out their normal metabolic functions

Guber and other Qi lab researchers, as well as scientists from across the country, found that a gene called SEL1L, which was previously known to be involved in the clearing of misfolded proteins, is also responsible for lipid metabolism in mice Mice that did not have SEL1L were unable to store fat and therefore unable to gain weight, according to Guber The findings of the research were published online this past July in the journal Cell Metabolism with Guber as a co-author

This area of nutritional research is very timely given that obesity and type II diabetes are becoming epidemics, according to Guber By better understanding how signaling pathways work, Guber said he hopes that patients with such metabolic-related diseases can receive drug treatments that target the appropriate cells and proteins

“We want to understand the science behind what is occurring on the cellular level to be able to find

t re a t m e n t s a n d n e w approaches,” Guber said

Ac c o rd i n g t o Gu b e r, there are still numerous

g a p s i n t h i s a re a o f research However, he said that this research fills in

s o m e o f t h e s e g a p s by adding knowledge about the relationship between

According to Guber, he immediately felt like a real team member within the Qi research lab By the spring of his freshman year, Guber was already learning the science and experiments behind the lab’s research projects He said that he now has the responsibility of teaching undergraduate students how to perform basic techniques

In addition, Guber said, he collaborates with the graduate students who view him as having the same level of experience that they have

always posing new ideas He is happy and clearly loves research, which makes it more fun for me to be doing it,”

Guber said

Guber’s enthusiasm for research is demonstrated in the amount of time that he has devoted to it throughout his time at Cornell He spent the summer of 2012 and this past summer at Cornell to continue working in the lab

Since June, Guber said he has been studying the role of E

“Research is probably one of the best things someone interested in science can do because it causes you to think, come up with your own ideas and contribute your own knowledge.”

t h e u n f o l d e d p ro t e i n response and human disease He said he is proud of the recent publication because of the significance it holds to the scientific and academic community

“There are still unknowns, just because how science is, but we provided more insight about what happened with DNA becoming RNA and then becoming protein, and then the exact mechanisms that contributed to the final state of the protein and its ability to serve its proper function,” Guber said

When Guber first came to Cornell in 2011 as a freshman he said he knew that he wanted to pursue his love for science and research He is majoring in biology and society in the College of Human Ecology and is minoring in nutritional sciences

At the start of his first semester Guber discussed research with his advisor, who put him in touch with Qi because she believed that his lab would be a good fit for Guber given his interests in both molecular biology and nutrition

Guber said that working in the lab has made him appreciate science in the context of conducting research

“Research is probably one of the best things someone interested in science can do because it causes you think, come up with your own ideas, and contribute your own knowledge,” Guber said “It allows you to really go into the science and teaches you to critically think You can read and repeat class information, but you have to really think about it in the lab ”

According to Guber, the Qi Lab provides a great work environment and he has been able to develop good relationships with his fellow researchers Guber has learned from many of them and has even been invited to dinner at Qi’s home in Ithaca

Guber said that the strong presence that Prof Qi has in the lab and the enthusiasm that he demonstrates is what encourages him

“[Prof ] Qi is very interested and involved in the research, and he increased my love for it because he is

insipidus, which is a disorder in which a defect in the kidneys causes a person to excessively urinate

Gu

y Saturdays spent in lab working He said he devoted at least 50 hours a week over the summer to this new project and anticipates spending about 20 hours a week in the lab this upcoming semester

“Conducting research has been f u l l ye

Gu

said “Even during winter and breaks when I’m home for a few days and not at Cornell, I still email with Prof Qi in the middle of the night about my work ”

According to Guber, there have been situations where fulfilling both his research and class responsibilities was challenging, but he feels that he found a balance between the two by managing his time

When he is not in lab, Guber is busy fulfilling his responsibilities as co-president of CURB, whose purpose is to foster undergraduate research at Cornell

Guber said he organizes events, such as the annual spring and fall forums, as well as programs such as the peer mentorship program to educate students about current research projects and how to get involved

“I enjoy talking about research and helping undergrads find research opportunities so that they, too, can learn that they have the ability to contribute to science,” he said

Emily Hagen can be reached at esh73@cornell edu

COURTESY OF ROBERT GUBER 15
Pipetting pro | Robert Guber ’15 researches how proteins that form incorrectly lead to metabolic disorders such as diabetes in order to find new methods of treatment His findings were published in Cell Metabolism in July

Pr of. Levitsky Tells You How to Avoid Putting On

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L e v i t s k y s a i d t h a t s i m p l y e a t i n g a va r i -

e t y o f f o o d s w i l l p re ve n t a n u t r i t i o n a l

d e f i c i e n c y, e ve n w i t h a ve g e t a r i a n o r

ve g a n d i e t A n d a h e a l t h y d i e t w i l l p re -

ve n t we i g h t g a i n T h e t h i rd p i e c e o f a d v i c e L e v i t s k y h a s f o r c o l l e g e s t u d e n t s t r y i n g t o k e e p t h e

we i g h t o f f i s t o e xe rc i s e a n d s t a y a c t i ve

T h e b o d y w a s b u i l t f o r m ove m e n t , a n d

m a n y h e a l t h p ro b l e m s A m e r i c a n s f a c e

t o d a y a re a re s u l t o f n o t b e i n g a c t i ve

e n o u g h , a c c o rd i n g t o L e v i t s k y “ It d o e s n ’ t m e a n yo u h a ve t o b e a n

Ol y m p i c a t h l e t e , b u t yo u c a n ’ t s i t o n yo u r a s s , ” h e s a i d

C o r n e l l s t u d e n t s f a c i n g s t re s s a ro u n d p re l i m t i m e w i l l e x p e r i e n c e a c h a n g e i n e a t i n g h a b i t s , L e v i t s k y s a i d , b u t we i g h t g a i n c a u s e d b y s t r e s s - i n d u c e d e a t i n g h a b i t s h a s ye t t o b e d e f i n i t i ve l y c o nf i r m e d by re s e a rc h

Ac c o rd i n g t o L e v i t s k y, w h e n yo u a re

s t re s s e d , yo u r s t o m a c h c a n n o t e x p a n d a s m u c h , s o yo u a re n o t p h y s i c a l l y c a p a b l e

o f e a t i n g a s m u c h f o o d Yo u a l s o t e n d t o e a t m o re s n a c k f o o d s t h a n f u l l m e a l s b e c a u s e t h e y a re q u i c k e r a n d e a s i e r t o e a t , a n d s n a c k f o o d s t e n d t o b e h i g h e r i n f a t a n d c a r b o h yd r a t e s In a d d i t i o n , e a t m o re q u i c k l y, w h i c h re s e a rc h h a s s h ow n c a u s e s yo u t o e a t a l a r g e r a m o u n t o f f o o d Bu t yo u r t o t a l f o o d i n t a k e a c t u a l l y g o e s d ow n w h e n yo u a re s t re s s e d , h e s a i d “ We c a n ’ t f i n d g o o d s o l i d e v i d e n c e u n d e r e x p e r i m e n t a l c o n d i t i o n s w h e r e we ’ re re a l l y w a t c h i n g h ow p e o p l e e a t t h a t s t re s s c a u s e s a n i n c re a s e i n i n t a k e ” T h e o n l y g ro u p t h a t w i l l s e e i n c re a s e d f o o d i n t a k e a s a re s u l t o f s t re s s - i n d u c e d e a t i n g , a c c o r d i n g t o L e v i t s k y, i s t h e g ro u p o f p e o p l e w h o a re c o n s t a n t l y d i e ti n g a n d re s t r i c t i

i t i o n

c i e n t i s t s a s “ re s t r a i n e d e a t e r s , ” a n d t h e y a re t h e o n l y g r o u p t h a t h a s b e e n s h o w n t o g a i n we i g h t w h e n s t re s s - e a t i n g , h e s a i d L e v i t s k y s a i d t h e re a re a l a r g e n u m b e r o f m y t h s s u r r o u n d i n g n u t r i t i o n t h a t c o m e o u t o f t h e m e d i a ’ s d e s i re t o g e n e ra t e p a g e v i e w s a n d p e o p l e ’ s d e s i re t o m a k e m o n e y, w h e n m a i n t a i n i n g a h e a l t h y we i g h t a n d l i f e s t y l e i s a c t u a l l y q u i t e s i m p l e “ [ Yo u ] c a n ’ t m a k e a m i l l i o n d o l l a r s by t e l l i n g p e o p l e s i m p l y ‘ w a t c h y o u r we i g h t , ’ ” h e s a i d In g e n e r a l , L e v i t s k y s a y s , “ E a t u n t i l yo u ’ re s a t i s f i e d Bu t d o n ’ t e a t m o re A n d e n j oy ! Fo o d s h o u l d b e e n j oy a b l e ” If yo u g e t i n t o t h e h a b i t o f t r a c k i n g yo u r we i g h t , e xe rc i s i n g , a n d e a t

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

e 6 6 t h E m m y Aw a r d s

On Monday night, the Emmy Awards attempted to celebrate the biggest achievements in acting, directing and writing in television Keyword: Attempted The ceremony itself was a mixed bag Sometimes they hit the mark Other times not so much Here, we break down the winners, losers and the things that just left us asking ourselves, “WTF?”

WINNERS

Br yan Cra nston a nd Julia Lou is-Drey f us: Cranston and JLD were two of the surest locks of the ceremony, easily dominating the competition and taking home the Emmys for Best Lead Actor in a Drama and Best Lead Actress in a Comedy, respectively One lock we didn’t see coming: Their impromptu make-out sesh (Get it? Like a lip lock!) As Louis-Dreyfus strolled up to the stage to accept her award for her downright hilarious portrayal of Selina Meyer on HBO’s Veep, Walter White himself ambushed the comedienne with a steamy, extended smooch This, of course, called back to Cranston’s now-famous stint on Seinfeld, where he played Elaine’s dentistturned-Jew-for-the-jokes boyfriend Tim Whatley The return of the “anti-Dentite” may go down as the greatest Seinfeld reunion of all time

Billy Ei chner : Billy Eichner is my favorite person ever Honestly, how can you not love his gay, manic, Debra Messingfueled brand of street aggression? In what was a rather boring telecast, Eichner temporarily jolted the awards show with a special edition of Billy on the Street with Host Seth Meyers, asking pedestrians rapid-fire questions about their Emmy predictions “Miss, you ’ re a lesbian, are you watching Orange is the New Black?,” he asked a short-haired woman, only to meekly shuffle away when she replied, “I do, but I’m not a lesbian ” Between his Emmys stunt and his recent gig on Parks and Recreation, I hope we see a lot more of Billy soon

Jim my Ki mmel: Can we all pretend that Jimmy Kimmel was the real emcee of Monday’s ceremony? After arriving at the Nokia Theater via subway clad in rainbow suspenders a tribute to the late Robin Williams’ first starring role in Mork & Mindy Kimmel took the stage to present, but not before attempting the first hosting coup in awards show history After an underwhelming, tame monologue from Meyers, Kimmel launched into a full-blown roast of nominees Ricky Gervais and Matthew McConaughey, asking the question of the night: Just how did McConaughey end up at the Emmys? “Matthew McConaughey doesn’t even own a television I happen to know he traded his television for a conch shell full of weed ” Jimmy, there’s always hope for next year ’ s ceremony

R icky Ger va is: After losing the Lead Actor in a Comedy award to Jim Parsons (Really?), Gervais was pretty bummed when he had to present the biggest award of the night (Best Writing for a Variety Special, duh) That didn’t stop him from reading his acceptance speech in a new, self-deprecating light: “Haha, I won I knew I would because I’m the best actor ” Gervais may be one of the biggest douches in Hollywood, but at least he’s humble

McC ona ugh ey and Ha rrellson: The stars of True Detective showcased their impeccable chemistry when they went up to

present an award and ended up riffing on each other, clad in their best Night at the Roxbury duds What is love? Probably a flat circle

Bill y Cr y sta l: Crystal on Robin Williams: He made us laugh hard, every time you saw him ” Well said

LOS ERS

Step hen C olber t: The new Late Show host Clint Eastwood-ed the Emmys when he devoted his entire presentation monologue to speaking with his imaginary friend, Roscoe Let’s treat the bit like Roscoe and pretend it was never there

G w e n St e f a ni : “No Doubt” the pop songstress wanted a “Sweet Escape” after flubbing the pronunciation of the Best Variety Series winner Stefani John Travolta-ed the announcement, proclaiming “The Colbort Report” as the winner At least maybe we can put Adele Dazeem to rest

So f ia Ver gara: It’s 2014, and the producers of the Emmys decided that they were done putting women in the television industry on sexist pedestals by literally putting the oversexualized Modern Family star on a literal pedestal Literally

Set h Mey ers: As a newly christened late night host, he s charming, likable, and (usually) funny His jokes at the Emmys jumped between being too industry specific to being devastatingly lame, which is probably the fault of the writing staff, but still Wow, characters die on Game of Thrones a lot Real original observation there, Seth I will give him credit for attempting to bring back the CSI: Miami “YEAAAAAAAAH ” Cue sunglasses

Wei rd Al: Al! You were the chosen one! You were to bring comedy to the Emmys, not leave us with disappointed titters Seriously, Mandatory Fun was one of his best albums in years and “Word Crimes” may be his best music video of all time And then this?! Weird Al tried his best to add funny lyrics to some of our favorite television show themes (Mad Men, Scandal Homeland etc ), but the shoddy audio and general lack of creativity ruined the entire schtick And stop telling George R R Martin to finish the books! They’ll be ready when they’re damn well ready!*

*I hope

W TF S

Mo der n Family : Dear god, enough Does anyone even watch Modern Family anymore?! Someone over at ABC must be paying off the Academy to make this irrelevant show a perennial award winner Has anyone there even watched Veep? Or Louie? Or Orange is the New Black? Or Silicon Valley? Or The Big Bang Theory? Kidding about the last one, anything and

everything is better than The Big Bang Theory And on that note

Ji m Pa r s o n s : Really?! Jim Parsons?! The guy makes a million bucks an episode and has three Emmys, do you really think he needs another? Even he has said that he’s “waiting for people to say, ‘Enough of you ’” Let’s see some other nominees get a shot

Far go: This last one is unforgivable Fargo was the best surprise of the 2013-2014 television season A beloved movie semi-adapted into a miniseries on FX? I had my doubts Over the course of ten episodes, I fell in love with the darkly comic tale of violence and crime in the otherwise peaceful Minnesotan landscape With amazing performances from Allison Tolman, Martin Freeman, Billy Bob Thornton and Colin Hanks (let’s ignore his Dexter plot arc), along with some of the best direction, writing and cinematography on television, the show should have swept the miniseries categories Fargo won a sole, yet undeniably impressive, achievement in the Best Miniseries category The third seasons of Sherlock and American Horror Story: Coven took home the acting awards Seriously?

Sean Doolittle is a junior in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences He can be reached at arts-editor@cornellsun com

Satire With a Conscience on HBO Last Week Tonight With John Oliver

We ve imported some pretty great things from Britain Speaking English for one (though not technically an import) is pretty awesome Tea is also pretty awesome But quite possibly the greatest thing we, as a nation, have taken from our colonizing motherland is John Oliver

Apparently John Oliver was not a success in Britain to which I say, “Your loss! And shame on you ” By episode five of his new HBO show, Last Week Tonight, Oliver was already crashing government websites That’s right: I’m looking at you Tom Wheeler, you filthy dingo

The world of satiric broadcasting is not new ground for John Oliver Many will recognize him from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart which he joined in 2006 as a recurring cast member In the summer of 2013, Oliver took over for Stewart while he was possibly pregnant, serving as admiral of an elvish navy vessel, or waiting for Time Warner to fix his cable It is also possible that Stewart was directing his movie Rosewater in the Jordan We may never know for certain What is certain, however, is that Oliver’s brief tenure as host of The Daily Show brought him to the forefront of public attention, with

critics and viewers hoping that Oliver might eventually take over The Daily Show or be given his own program And their wish was HBO’s command: Oliver began hosting his own talk show, Last Week Tonight, on April 27

HBO comes with a lot of perks: Oliver is pretty much allowed to say whatever he wants about whomever he wants and he has covered as many touchy topics in the past four months as is imaginably possible His satirical look at the news is, of course, nothing new Oliver, however, has absolute free rein on the topics he delivers With HBO’s adfree subscription model, the pressure of corporations to moderate criticism is absent in his delivery After insisting that POM Wonderful has no nutritional value and suggesting that viewers place stickers on the bottles claiming, “Contains Four Whole Pomeranians,” during his segment on mislabeling of products, POM Wonderful responded to his allegations in the form of a letter Which Oliver proceeded to read on the show to humiliate the company even further

What Last Week Tonight has been able to accomplish in the last three months that truly sets it apart, however, is actual activism While satirical news broadcasts often call to light issues that are plaguing our world, they leave us with a little laugh and a slightly better understanding of the issue so that at our next dinner party we don’t sound like idiots Oliver has taken it a step beyond The most famous instance of this has been his segment on Net Neutrality For anyone who hasn ’ t heard of this issue, net neutrality is the principle that all sites are created equal Whether it’s a blog on paper snowflakes or a high powered company like Netflix, the Internet is a level playing field However, the

IFederal Communications Commission is seeking to change this: Making websites pay telecom companies for a “hyper speed” lane for Internet streaming One of the major issues with the debate over Net Neutrality, however, as Oliver stated, is that it was just incredibly boring Apart from the corporations affected and government activists, most average people were just tuning the entire issue out Oliver’s 13-minute segment on the issue, however, was snappy, funny and informative Yet he wasn ’ t content with just informing the public Upon ending his segment, Oliver urged viewers to access the FCC website to voice their complaints about the elimination of Net Neutrality Making fun of the ridiculous Internet commenters we have all seen (and possibly been), Oliver cried to the swell of dramatic music, “We need you to get out there and focus your indiscriminate rage in a useful direction Seize your moment my lovely trolls, turn on caps lock, and fly my pretties! Fly! And they listened By that Monday over 45,000 new comments had been posted to the FCC’s website and the site was experiencing “technical difficulties ” That’s right: By his fifth episode John Oliver had already crashed a government website His segment was brought up during a Congressional session where the FCC chairman Tom Wheeler defended himself stating, “I am not a dingo ” Really, Wheeler, did you expect Oliver not to tear that one apart?

His first triumph, the FCC segment, is by no means the only thing that Oliver is accomplishing during his show His mock campaigns #MutuallyAssuredDestruction and #GoGetThoseGeckos have been met with fervor by the rest of the world Buzz Aldrin and Sir Patrick Stewart even urged the Russian government to find the spaceship gecko orgy Oliver’s segments have remained edgy and engaging, tackling stories such as the storage of our Nuclear Weapons: “Within the last 12 months, we were in a situation where, in the event of us launching

A Belated Introduction

find myself in the sixth semester of writing this column, otherwise known as the sixth semester where no one knows what I’m getting at, least of all myself I’m not one for introductions, which explains why, back in January 2012, I inaugurated this biweekly soapbox not with a “Hello” or an overview of my ideas and interests but with a piece on the divine and cinema ’ s attempts to depict Him/Her/It I was proud of its title: “Oh, God ” So intellect, much serious Wow

I have since learned that growing up demands a bit of dumbing down Just because I a n n o u n c e , “ Today, I write about GOD!” or “The Kardashians and Facebook are killing America!” (my second column) does not make me a smart or challenging or worldly writer It just makes me David Brooks you know, smug

It’s good to lighten up As far as movies go, that means I temper expectations equally when seeing a holier-than-thou, Oscar-ready biopic about, say, a rodeo AIDS activist or Transformers 4 Both movies simplify, condescend and manipulate; the difference is that most critics will buy into the former, likely because of its Impor tant subject matter, while stringing together a selection of groan-worthy puns aimed at the latter Call a spade a spade, but if you have a raging vendetta against Michael Bay, try to

think of the last time you disagreed with the Tomatometer

Independent, self-aware, specific critical thought: That’s what I am getting at here The enviably levelheaded film and TV critic Matt Zoller Seitz issued a rallying cry earlier this year with the piece, “Please, Critics, Write About The Filmmaking ” In it, he took a swipe at many of his colleagues for ignoring formal analysis in their writing; blog posts and newspaper reviews alike tend to devote more time to plot summar y, box office talk or else c

tirades against a movie or television episode than careful attention to what makes a movie a movie (camera angles, editing patterns, mise-en-scène) It’s not that you should ignore plot, business and politics; indeed, the most valuable, responsible critics (to name just a few: Seitz, Nick Pinkerton, Tasha Robinson, Mike D’Angelo) intersect them all in vital, nuanced writing that is never just about a movie

The best critical writing is useful, in some way It should be entertaining, humble and even poetic, but the word I keep coming back to is “useful ” I know no greater compliment than when a friend or total stranger tells me they learned something from reading a piece of mine I thought I was just spitting opinions here; how am I teaching anyone anything? Well, when you

tether those mercurial value judgments to some notes on style, historical context and life’s Big Questions, your useless opinions begin to take on some weight so long as you come across with humor and honesty, more human than textbook

a nuclear strike, the President’s command would theoretically have gone through a man gambling with fake poker chips Who would have then tried to call a drunk guy wrestling with a Russian George Harrison Who would have then needed to send someone with a bag full of burritos to wake up an officer and tell him to go grab a LP sized floppy disc and begin the solemn process of ending the world as we know it ” And the police events in Ferguson, Missouri: “The police are not soldiers, so why in the picture from Ferguson, are they wearing fucking camo?”

Of course, Oliver is not unbiased That is impossible But he is tackling issues that the public is sadly lacking information on Rather, that the public is uninterested in finding information on John Oliver’s unique, chipper delivery coupled with the serious issues he tackles brings these issues to a format which the American public is absolutely devouring Even for those who aren t subscribing to HBO, the network has been posting his main news segments from each show on their YouTube channel, causing his segments to go completely viral each week

Why listen to John Oliver? The answer is not just because he has that fabulous British accent Rather, he is acting in a capacity of no censorship, bringing huge issues to the American public that we have never realized we should care about His show is still in its early stages, where he basically talks at the camera for a half an hour, has a skype date with George R R Martin, gets Steve Buscemi to tap dance, and gets Right Said Fred to sing “I’m Too Sexy” in an Anti-Bashar alAssad manner But the fact of the matter is, he is reaching the public In his lively, sarcastic way, John Oliver is changing the way we, as Americans, view the news and world around us

Marissa Tranquilli is a junior in the College of Arts and Sciences She can be reached at mtranquilli@cornellsun com

This is all a roundabout way to say that, for my time remaining here, I have a plan for this column With this entry as an introduction of sorts, I plan to turn this mess of pop culture digressions and Liam Neeson appreciations into a focused, ongoing series about the act and nature of criticism Some working titles for future columns include “How to Read a Movie,” “In Praise of the Mixed Review” and “The Wrong Way to Like Movies ” Pretty pompous headlines, I’ll admit, but one needs to appeal to the click-bait gods somehow these days I hope to open up about the way I see things and, in the process, find the words for some personal, maybe even rigorous system of aesthetic and moral judgment It goes without saying that I’ve yet to pin down this system myself

I’ve done a lot of thinking about shortcomings of my writing that have thrived in this column space, among them hyperbole, precious-

ness and even weird bouts of anger I aspire, now, to sanity I’ll dig into questions that irk all art obsessives (Marrying formalist criticism with appreciation for a film’s emotional effect is a current thorn in my side) but keep in mind that, in the end, we ’ re all in this game of opinions together I respect dissent and I hope you can respect those contrarian streaks of mine, too I know that I know nothing, etc , though I hope in due time you’d be inclined to disagree

Zachar y Zahos is a senior in the College of Arts and sciences He can be reached at zzahos@cornellsun com A Lover s Quarrel With the World appears alternate Wednesdays this semester

MARISSA TRANQUILLI Sun Staff Writer

Jones Talks Transition to Professional Level Play

BASEBALL

Continued from page 20

on a different rotation means less rest In college, a full week between star ts left ample time to get back into game shape

“Pitching on the five-day rotation was hard for me, ” he said “ You throw your bullpen usually only on one day’s rest, so you ’ re usually not feeling that good, so just kind of getting used to that took me a while

It l o o k s l i k e Jo n e s h a s s t

become comfor table Since being moved up, he has made six star ts for the Hawks, going 4-2 with a 2 45 ERA, including one complete game and one shutout

W h i l e Jo

ready, he said he has been working on location and developing his offspeed arsenal

“I’ve been moving my fastball inside, o

strikes,” he said “

my biggest one, it’s coming along but it just needs some time ” W

with a tight cur veball to go along with a 96 mph fastball He has 22 strikeouts against just seven walks in 25 2 innings pitched for the Hawks Still, though, Jo n e s a c

“The competition is obviously better now Pitchers that I’d say would never get hit in college get hurt now ”

s changeup is developing, Jones has been able to keep minor league hitters guessing

o w ledged that professional hitters take advantage of mist

right back at you

h a n you let them go

“I’ve been hit by a couple line drives already,” Jones said “ There’s a lot more danger than there was pitching in college

You kind of have to be aler t, if you leave stuff up over the middle of the plate, it’s likely to get hit back at you ” Jones str uck out 13 hitters in his last t w o s t a

f i g u r i n g things out at the Class A level Still, though, the transition to the professional level is an arduous one, and Jones said he understands that it will take time “ The competition is obviously better now, ” he said “Pitchers that I’d say would never get hit in college get hur t now You’ve real ly got to finish that pitch well and get better location, so I’ve learned a lot ”

Scott Chiusano can be reached at sports-editor@cornellsun com

Squad Looks For Success Under New Leadership This Season

The squad is excited to welcome the freshmen and believes the young talent will be a driving force in reaching the Red’s goals, according to senior Timothy Satterthwaite

“The team is feeling great heading into the season, ” Satterthwaite said “ The new batch of incoming freshmen have some incredible talent and we ' re excited to see it put to the test ” Senior Thomas Hallowell added, “I know the freshmen are anxious to get a glimpse of what being a Division I athlete is like We had some success last year and are all hoping to continue that with good training in the off season ” The leadership duo of Gallagher and Newman may be just what the program needs to climb its way back up the Ivy League

Patrick Gallagher will coach the women ’ s team for his second season this year after making the transition from Saint Francis, where he had been coaching for ten years prior He had a strong history of success there, earning the honor of most winningest coach in school history Under his coaching, the squad won four league titles Gallagher illustrated his ability to make a strong impact on the Red as well last season, leading the squad to a 6-3 overall record

On the men ’ s side, Wes Newman will take on the role of Associate Head Coach after six years of serving on Coach Joe Lucia’s staff Newman brings a tremendous amount of experience to the table, having swam at Cornell himself as an all-time great He was a three-time Eastern champion and holder of nine school records as well as a Canadian Olympic Trials competitor

Red Looks Forward to Getting Back on Racetrack

CROSS COUNTRY

Continued from page 20

record in track they’re really heading into their final year with some great momentum ”

As a team, the women will welcome the combination of experience and fresh talent that will surely drive positive results this season, according to Smith

“[There is] useful new energy but also some really experienced, reliable returners, ” Smith said “As a coach, I couldn’t think of a better combination ”

The men also look for ward to the know-how that comes with age which will pave the way for a strong freshmen class, according to Lang

“Last year, we unfor tunately weren ’ t able to have as much senior leadership on the racecourse as we would have liked

[there were] injuries, [and our team was] fairly young One thing that has improved is that most guys who had to lead on the racecourse are back with another year of experience,” Lang said Melly echoed his coach’s thoughts as he emphasized the impor tance of experience in addition to health and good training as the team prepares for the sea-

son ahead

“Last year, we had a lot of problems with injuries in our top-seven, so one of our biggest goals going into this season is training smart and staying healthy,” Melly said

Melly’s vision for the team this season is one of unity and excellence, and the Red has the potential to realize it, he says

“ We are lucky to have a lot of talented guys who care a lot about the spor t of r unning and about the team, and the biggest task I see before me is getting ever yone pulling in the same direction

Our returners are guys who have already applied a lot of their individual knowledge and strengths to shaping the

strength is in their readiness to put in the extra work it takes to transform a group of pretty fast guys into a competitive unit,” he said

Team cohesiveness is equally important

t o w o m e n ’ s c o - c a p t a i n

stressed the importance of unity and collaboration in driving positive results on the scoreboard

“ We really want to build that relationship that makes a great team So much of being a good team is having that bond,”

Collard said “ We want ever yone to feel like they belong because they do belong We’re a team and no one is left behind ”

On the men ’ s side, Melly emphasized the correlation between off-course work and on-course success

“ We really tried to stress the importance of taking concrete steps to improve yourself as a runner this summer, ” he said “ The key to putting in work off the course is identifying specific actions you can take not just broad, abstract ideas and implementing them The critical elements to our team ’ s success are accountability and communication ”

On both the women ’ s and men ’ s sides, the Red certainly sees a bright future ahead and is well-equipped to meet these expecations, according to Collard “[ We’re] definitely looking to go back to nationals this year We have a strong group of core returners and one of the biggest incoming groups we ’ ve ever had, and the freshmen are all ver y talented,” Collard said “ We know that’s where we belong with the top competition ” Collard elaborated on the team ’ s capacity to clinch victor y this fall, “I’m excited to compete and see what we can do this

year I really want to go out with my strongest season and I want the team to [as well],” she said

On the men ’ s side, Melly shared that the everlasting bond he has forged with his teammates make him that much more passionate about running for the Red

“I'm most excited about spending my senior year with such an awesome group of guys That sounds obvious, but cross countr y is such a close-knit atmosphere that ever ything from bus rides to barbecues to morning workouts are activities we do together,” he said “ The bond you form is something that transcends the record at the end of the season ”

Smith also shares in the excitement about the women ’ s team as he looks ahead to what he expects will be an enjoyable season

“It is clear to me that this is a really fun group and I can ’ t wait to see them start competing,” he said

The Red will have the chance to put its skills and training to the test when it kicks off the season with its first meet on Sept 12 at Army in Westpoint, N Y

Anna Johnson can be reached at ajohnson@cornellsun com

Red Gears Up for Competition, Expects to Start Season Strong

After a summer away from Cornell’s Moakley Course, the Red cross country team is optimistic about what the future entails and excited to start fresh, according to the coaches of both squads

“We seem to be starting the year healthy,” said women ’ s Head Coach Artie Smith '96 “That’s what you hope for as a cross country coach that the group comes back healthy and ready to train and had a good summer I can ’ t think of a better start to the year with those three things ”

Men’s Assistant Coach Zeb Lang 03 also shared a positive outlook regarding the upcoming season, noting the importance of summer training in starting off on the right foot this fall

races, and so I think they’ll lead our group very well,” Lang said “[We also have] tremendous juniors Brian Eimstad and Ben Rainero will be leading the charge in that class Sophomores Mark Tedder and James Gowans and David Taylor had great track seasons, setting records on the track or coming close [They are] all tremendous

Lang also said that the freshmen are a talented bunch who look to make an immediate impact right out of the gates

“The incoming class is very strong They’re all very accomplished Several are state champions or very accomplished high school runners, ” he said “It’s a big freshman class but I think they’ll step in and contribute right away ”

“We have a solid group of captains this year — three seniors [who are all] very deserving.”

“I think that our guys have been doing incredible work here over the summer A couple guys have been doing 120 miles a week [That’s] encouraging,” Lang said “[They’re] all hitting the paces we want and getting things done in the weight room [They’re in a] great place physically and mentally summer [was] a chance to refresh The atmosphere [is] positive ”

Senior co-captains Ben Potts, David Melly and Jonathan Phillips, aided by a few returning powerhouses in the junior and sophomore classes, will provide the men ’ s team with solid leadership, according to Lang

“We have a solid group of captains this year three seniors [who are all] very deserving These guys have all gotten where they are through extremely hard work In cross country, they all have similar styles and they run hard-nosed, tough

Cornell Program Selects Two for Coaching Roles

The Cornell Swimming and Diving team has named Patrick Gallagher and Wes Newman as Associate Head Coaches for the program Coming off a tremendous 2014-2014 racing campaign, Gallagher and Newman will look to bolster the squad’s success in the conference with their leadership and expertise

Cornell enters this season confident in its skills and determined to top the heroics of last year, according to senior Bethany Douglas

“We’re very excited for the upcoming season, coming off the last winning one We have a lot of confidence going into pre-season, but also now know what we are capable of, so we are using this as fuel to only train harder,” Douglas said

The Red believes that motivation and discipline in the pre-season are essential to starting off strong, Douglas added

“We aren ’ t really looking at this next month as off-season In order to ensure another winning season, we plan to stay hungry and competitive even in September,” she said “We have a lot of confidence from last season ’ s wins but that won ’ t stop us from giving it our all in the weight room and the pool right now ”

Similarly, on the women ’ s side, Head Coach Smith cited the Red’s effective captains, strong returners and promising incoming class as key ingredients for success

“Our upper class leadership has been outstanding [The captains] have done an outstanding job of keeping people on the same page over the summer, getting people excited and welcoming what I think is a remarkable group of freshmen,” Smith said “They’re really ready to go and I credit the captains with helping them with that transition ”

According to Smith, in addition to senior co-captains Casey Phlegar and Marianne Collard and junior co-captain Caroline Kellner, accomplished upperclassmen will also be instrumental

“Four other returning seniors this year, in addition to Marianne and Casey, will certainly have their own roles to

Jones Drafted in Fourth Round of MLB Draft

When senior pitcher Brent

d

p

n

h e mound against Princeton last April, there were more than 50 sets of eyes focused solely on his 6’3”

m across the country had come to see Jones for what would end up being his last start in a Cornell uniform, a brilliant one-run performance over eight innings

Two months later, Jones became

the highest MLB draft pick in Cornell

fourth round with the 120th overall pick

“I like being able to say I can represent my school like that,” Jones said “I’m always a Cornell guy, both on my team and when we play away In the pregame show they’ll always make some kind of mention of it, so it’s kind of cool ” Jones followed in the footsteps of his former teammate, Brian Billigen ’12, who was also drafted to the

Hillsboro Hops and is now working with the organization

“When I went to minicamp right after I was drafted I saw him, so he was able to show me around some stuff,” he said

Armed with an upper 90’s fastball, Jones spent part of the summer playing for the Hillsboro Hops in Class A s h o r t s

a s o n b a l l , b e f o re b e i n g bumped up to Class A at the end of July He posted a 2-1 record with a 3 90 ERA in six starts with Hillsboro

For Jones, one of the bigger challenges at the professional level is the more rigorous time commitment

“It’s a lot more baseball,” he said “You get to the field usually about five or six hours before the game, and you ’ ve got plenty of stuff to do ” Jones also mentioned that pitching on a different rotation means less rest In college, a full week between starts left ample time to get back into game shape

“Pitching on the five day rotation was hard for me, ” he said “You throw your bullpen usually only on one day’s rest, so you ’ re usually not feeling that good, so just kind of getting used to that took me a while ”

It looks like Jones has started to b e c o m e c o m f o r t a b l e Si n c e b e i n g moved up, he has made six starts for the Hawks, going 4-2 with a 2 45

Playing smart | Senior co-captain David Melly, who earned USTFCCCA All-Academic honors, aims to bring the Red success

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