The Corne¬ Daily Sun
Trump Tower to Rise in Collegetown
Ithaca Mayor Svante Myrick ’09 To Run For President in
MisterWives Just as Disappointed as Us DINING
Happy Dave Agrees: Okenshields Sucks
Drunk Students Have Too Many Food Options, Stay Sober Instead Hot Truck Used As Getaway Car in Local Robbery
T h e C o r n e ¬ D a i l y S u n
Dodging JAs like Muhammad Ali since 1880 THE 135RD EDITORIAL BOARD WOULD GET JA D FOR
SOPHIA DENG ’19
Accidentally writing code that leads to massive Cornell endowment losses
DAHLIA WILSON 19
Embezzling University Funds
JACOB RUBASHKIN ’19
Getting wasted at Regent while underage
PRAJJALITA DEY ’18
Never showing up to class
LEV AKABAS ’19
Overzealous listicling
BRIAN LAPLACA ’18
Illegally downloading Quark on University Computers
ANNA DELWICHE 19
Hoisting the Maryland Flag from McGraw Tower
RACHEL WHALEN ’19
Setting free all the animals in the Ag school
ARNAV GHOSH ’20
Stockpiling plutonium in his dorm
ANDREI KOZYREV ’20
Hacking the S A elections
EMMA NEWBURGER ’18
Doing drugs on the Ivy League Snap Story
GIRISHA ARORA ’20
Videotaping protestors
CHARLES COTTON ’19
Extreme hall sports
JOSH ZHU ’20
For finally snapping after the latest Knicks season
KARLY KRASNOW ’18
Holding the line up at Libe one too many times
JEREMIAH KIM ’19
Staring someone to death
MEGAN ROCHE ’19
Getting high and taking notes on Arrested Development
JOSHUA GIRSKY 19
“Otherwise misusing university property”
LYDIA KIM ’18
Advertising Manager
ZACHARY SILVER ’19
Hacking into Cornell s official twitter
CAMERON POLLACK ’18
Instagramming illicit photos of Dean Kotlikoff
JUHWAN KIM 18
Singing in the stacks
STEPHANY KIM 19
Complicit in friend’s sugar abuse problem
NICHOLAS BOGEL-BURROUGHS ’19
Live tweeting when he ain t supposed to be
KATIE SIMS 20
Being swept up in a drug bust although innocent
OLIVIA LUTWAK ’18
Importing banned wine from North Korea
JANNA YU ’18
Using Hot Truck as a getaway vehicle
ALISHA GUPTA ’20
For being too chill
JOHN YOON ’20
Drowning students in his thoughts
JACK KANTOR ’19
Jumping off the gorge too many times
JAMIL RAHMAN ’19
Going unoticed
MICHAEL LI 20
For leaving this page’s writers struggling for jokes
EMMA WILLIAMS ’19
Breaking into Olin at 2 a m to study some more
WORKING ON TODAY’S OPINION PAGE
THE HERO THE SUN NEEDS, BUT NOT THE ONE IT DESERVES
From the Editor
Bringing The Sun Into The 21st Century (For Real This Time)
YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED SOMETHING different when you glanced today’s copy of The Sun A little sleeker, perhaps? More ergonomic and aesthetically pleasing? Delivering to you all the day’s information as efficiently and succinctly as possible? That’s the goal
Our ne w front page reflects the ultimate level of synergy between print and online journalism No longer will you pick up a copy of The Sun and wonder why it appears so antiquated, so 20th centur y This is the future, and we ’ re happy to be here
Some of our long-time readers might be put off by the lack of actual content on our ne w front page To them we ask: “who ever cared about content in the first place?” We all know that the vast majority of our readers don’t actually read the ar ticles we publish, they just laugh at the pithy headlines and move on So we decided to put as many headlines on the front page as possible That way, our valued audience can get what they want, and we don’t have to worr y about pesky things like repor ting and editing
We didn’t take such a radical redesign of our 137-year-old flagship product lightly The Sun invested tens of thousands of dollars (Zimbabwean) and countless hours in the research and development process After nearly three years of hard work, we ’ ve finally moved out of beta testing and are offering the ne w design to the public So it’s no stretch to say that it’s been a long time coming Yes, dear reader, The Sun is finally, tr uly, entering the 21st centur y of ne ws media
Previous editorial boards have said that they’ve been the ones to bring The Sun into the 21st centur y They’re dir ty liars, each and ever y one of them It’s all us, and the proof is in the page So enjoy it It’s the future, baby! The Sun isn’t setting anytime soon We’re only getting brighter
Letter to the
Sex on Thursdays: too prude?
r s , i t ’ s j u s t t h a t w o r d s o n a p a g e j u s t a r e n ’ t d o i n g i t f o r m e a n y m o r e L e t ’ s g e t s o m e v i s u a l a i d s i n t h e r e
S o m e p e o p l e t h i n k t h a t S e x o n T h u r s d a y s i s t o o s c a n d a l o u s Pe r s o n a l l y, I ’ v e
s e e n m o r e d i s t u r b i n g t h i n g s h a p p e n o n a d i r t y c o u c h i n t h e T h u m p t y b a s e m e n t
A n d t h a t s o r t o f d e s e n s i t i z a t i o n i s e x a c t l y w h a t ’ s m a k i n g S e x o n T h u r s d a y s s o s t a l e S o h e r e a r e a f e w i d e a s t o s p i c e t h i n g s u p
1 I n s t r u c t i o n a l v i d e o s : A c o l u m n a b o u t c h o k i n g ? Ta m e A n i n s t r u c t i o n a l v i d e o a b o u t c h o k i n g ? No w t h a t ’ s w h a t I c a l l c o n t e n t , c o n c e r n e d m o m s b e
d a m n e d 2 D e t a i l e d d i a g r a m s : S o m e o f t h e s t u f f t h e y t a l k a b o u t i n S e x o n
T h u r s d a y s i s c o m p l i c a t e d ! I ’ v e t r i e d s o m e o f t h a t s h i t m y s e l f a n d , m a n , I n e e d t o i m p r o v e m y f l e x i b i l i t y t o s a y t h e l e a s t I t h i n k i t w o u l d b e s u p e r h e l p f u l t o i n c l u d e s o m e d i a g r a m s w i t h d i r e c t i o n s a n d t h e l i k e t o a i d f e l l o w s e x s t r o n a u t s o n t h e i r j o u r n e y 3 S u p p o r t f o r f o r e i g n l a n g u a g e : I d o n ’ t k n o w a b o u t y o u , b u t s o m e t i m e s I l i k e m y l a d i e s l i k e m y c o f f e e a n d c a r s t h a t i s , n o t A m e r i c a n A n d o n e o f m y f a v o r i t e p a s t i m e s i s r e a d i n g S e x o n T h u r s d a y s w h a t e v e r b i d d i e i s i n m y b e d T h e y a l m o s t a l w a y s g i v e m e w e i r d l o o k s , b u t i t s e v e n w o
Back down, ye foolish mortals!
c o n t r o l o f t h e h e a v e n s f r o m t h e t i t a n s a n d m a k e a s i z e a b l e d o n a t i o n t o C o r n e l l ’ s e n d o w m e n t j u s t t o s e e m y Te m p l e r e n a m e d f o r s o m e o i l b a r o n ! I s w e a r t o m y s e l f , t h e t h i n g s p e o p l e t h e s e d a y s t h i n k t h e y c a n g e t a w a y w i t h I f I w e r e y o u n g e r, I ’d m a r c h r i g h t d o w n f r o m M t O l y m p u s a n d s e t y o u a l l s t r a i g h t m y s e l f I g u e s s I ’ l l g e t m y b o y He r c u l e s t o d o i t i n s t e a d h e s e e m s t o l i k e t h a t a r t s y s t u f f Z E U S
To t h e E d i t o r :
Hi C o r n e l l It’s m e , Hu n t e r We n e e d t o t a l k Yo u k n o w t h a t f r i e n d o f y o u r s t h a t k e e p s o n t r y i n g t o h o o k u p w i t h t h e i r e x ?
Ye a h , t h a t ’ s y o u I g e t i t I ’ m a p r e t t y g r e a t g u y I m e a n , w h o w o u l d n ’ t w a n t t o b e w i t h m e ? I ’ v e g o t t h a t Io w a c h a r m m i x e d w i t h Pr i n c e t o n g r a v i t a s , a n d i f t h i s p r e si d e n t t h i n g h a d n ’ t w o r k e d o u t , I h a d a w h o l e c a r e e r i n m o d e l i n g l i n e d u p Yo u f e e l c o m f o r t a b l e w i t h m e b e c a u s e I ’ m f a m i l i a r, b u t Je s u s , g u y s , e n o u g h i s e n o u g h !
Ho w m a n y t i m e s d o y o u h a v e t o k e e p s h o w i n g u p m y d o o r d r u n k e n l y y e l l i n g
u p a t m y w i n d o w t h a t y o u w a n t m e b a c k ? Ho w m a n y t i m e s a m I g o i n g t o b e
w o k e n u p a t 3 a m b y a “ y o u u p ” t e x t ? Ho w m a n y p i n t s o f i c e c r e a m a r e y o u g o i n g t o s t e a l f r o m m y f r i d g e a f t e r I i n v i t e y o u t o m y r o o m ?
It’s n o t h e a l t h y, g u y s It n e e d s t o s t o p Fi
SURE, WE ’ LL ACT LIKE YOUR LETTER IS STRAIGHT FROM THE BIRMINGHAM JAIL, BUT WE BOTH KNOW YOUR TAKE IS STALE, YOUR GRAMMAR IS SHODDY, AND FIVE OTHER PEOPLE JUST WROTE ME ABOUT THE EXACT SAME THING (THEY WERE ALL BETTER THAN YOU)
By NICHOLAS BOGEL-BURROUGHS and DREW MUSTO Sun City Editor and Senior Editor
c i a l p ro c e s s i n t o t h e s p o t l i g h t
T h e Of f i c e o f t h e Ju d i c i a l Ad m i n i s t r a t o r a c c u s e d
Mi t c h Mc Br i d e ’ 1 7 i n Ma rc h o f v i o l a t i n g t w o s e c -
t i o n s o f t h e C o d e by s h a r i n g i n t e r n a l d o c u m e n t s
f ro m t h e Ad m i s s i o n s a n d Fi n a n c i a l A i d Wo rk i n g
Gro u p w i t h T h e Su n t h a t s h owe d t h e Un i ve r s i t y w a s
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T h o s e c h a r g e s b ro u g h t s h a r p re b u k e s i n t h e l a s t
we e k f ro m s e ve r a l f a c u l t y m e m b e r s , i n c l u d i n g o n e
L a w S c h o o l p ro f e s s o r w h o h e l p e d re v i s e t h e C o d e a n d s a i d t h e Un i ve r s i t y w a s a t t e m p t i n g t o “ s t re t c h t h e C o d e ” t o e n c o m p a s s a c t i o n s t h a t i t d o e s n o t c ove r T h e Un i ve r s i t y He a r i n g B o a rd c o m p o s e d o f t
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B r i d e a n d A s s o c i a t e Ju d i c i a l A d m i n i s t r a t o r C
By WILLIAM BAI Sun Staff Writer
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w o rk i n g g ro u p, i g n o re d re p o r t e r s ’ q u e s t i o n s i n Da y Ha l l s h o r t l y a f t e r t h e ve rd i c t w a s a n n o u n c e d Du r i n g t h e h e a r i n g , K n u t h t e s t i f i e d t h a t s h e h a d “ m a d e i t c l e a r t h a t t h e d o c u m e n t s [ we re ] f o r c o n s i de r a t i o n by m e m b e r s ” o f t h e w o rk i n g g ro u p a n d we re “ c o n s i d e re d p r i va t e a n d c o n f i d e n t i a l ” A s k e d by o n e o f t h e m e m b e r s o f t h e U H B h ow s u re s h e w a s t h a t s h e h a d t o l d Mc Br i d e t h e d o c um e n t s we re “ c o n f i d e n t i a l , ” K n u t h s a i d , “ I ’ m p o s it i ve ” T h e t e s t i m o n y o f t h e o t h e r s i x w i t n e s s e s , a l l e i t h e r c u r re n t s t u d e n t s o r re c e n t g r a d u a t e s , f o r m e d a p i ct u re o f t h e w o rk i n g g ro u p w h e re s o m e m e m b e r s we re t o l d t h a t t h e d o c u m e n t s we re c o n f i d e n t i a l a n d s o m e we re n o t A l l t e s t i f i e d t h a t t h e re w a s a g e n e r a l u n d e rs t a n d i n g t h a t t h e d o c u m e n t s s h o u l d re m a i n p r i va t e A s Mc Br i d e a w a i t e d t h e ve rd i c t i n
By JOHN YOON
Daybook
A
To d a y
SpringFest!
11 a m - 3 p m , Ho Plaza
Data Driven Policy-Making in Child Welfare
Noon - 1 p m , 2nd floor Conference Room Beebe Hall
Did the Cold War Ever End? Will It? 12:15 - 1:30 p m , G08 Uris Hall
25 Years of Breastfeeding in Asia 12:20 - 1:10 p m , 100 Savage Hall
Courses Outside the Classroom: Course Options for Fall 2017 4:30 p m , 3330 Tatkon Center
Book Talk With Albert Laguna 4:30 p m , 124 Reading Room Schwartz Center
From Periodization to the Auto-Immune Secular State 4:30 - 6 p m , 142 Goldwin Smith Hall
Conversations in Digital Humanities: Makerspaces And Maker Literacy in the Digital Humanities 4:30 - 6 p m , 703 Olin Library
European Migration Policies In Times of Multiple ‘Crises’ 4:30 - 6 p m , 106 White Hall
C U Music Musicology Colloquium: Hildegard's Hexameron: Theology, Poetry, Music and a Digital Model 4:30 - 6 p m , 124 Lincoln Hall
To m o r r o w
Mechanistic Basis of Metabolic Evolution in Plants 11:15 a m , 404 Plant Science Building
Manipulating Memory Traces in the Hippocampus 12:20 p m , 202 Uris Hall
The Spectacular Now with Producer Dan Cohen '05 in Person 3:30 p m , Willard Straight Theatre
Keynote Address for “On/By Black Women/Black Girls: A Symposium” 4:30 p m , Multipurpose Room Africana Studies and Research Center
Dining with Diverse Minds: “Activism Then, Activism Now” 5 - 7 p m , Memorial Room Willard Straight Hall
Community Renews Suicide Prevention Efforts
By MARIN LANGLIEB Sun Staff Writer
Eighteen community and state mental health stakeholders including representatives from the Suicide Prevention Center of New York, the City of Ithaca and Cornell Minds Matter adopted “ The Watershed Declaration,” which pledges to renew the “commitment to suicide prevention” during a meeting
Monday
The meeting, which took place at The Watershed, was initiated by the Sophie Fund, an organization created in honor of Sophie Hack MacLeod ’14 who died by suicide last year while on medical leave The organization's main goal is to help “enhance mental health
Ithaca,” according to their website
While the original purpose of the meeting was to share some of the organization’s initiatives, the declaration was met with so much enthusiasm that the group decided to adopt it as a way of
efforts, Scott MacLeod, father of Sophie
and donor advisor of The Sophie Fund, told The Sun
“It’s ver y powerful to have that declaration and actual support from a wide variety of organizations in one place and in one moment ” l d said “It shows the com large, yes, your comm about this issue and working on this issu thing to work on th
behind it
Watershed
was also present at the meeting “My agency has been on this task for 48 years, so it feels good to have other people saying we commit to making this better,” Mar vin said dd to supporting the he meeting attennounced plans to Tompkins County on by June ation is one thing, t building a coalially doing work on o u n d , ” M a c L e o d said M a r v i n added that she hopes the decla-
ganizations at the but send a message der audience that n e [ s h o u l d ] t a k e seriously and that with ourselves ” c L e o d e c h o e d n ’ s sentiments and
Students Put Price On Trees to Raise Environmental Awareness
By GLORIA LEE Sun Contributor
On Tuesday, a group of students labeled approximately 80 trees on the Arts Quad with individual price tags but the trees are not for sale
The tags as a part of the annual “The Value of Trees” exhibition show the environmental value of each tree based on its eco-
l o g i c a l s e r v i c e s l i k e re m ov i n g greenhouse gases from the atmosphere, cooling, reducing pollution and retaining storm water runoff
The exhibit is a student-led event that has been taking place since 2013 as a part of the Creating the Urban Eden course led by Prof Nina Bassuk, horticulture, and Prof Peter Trowbridge, landscape architecture
“We celebrate trees on Arbor Day We celebrate the Earth on Earth Day,” Bassuk said “This activity ties the two together to make people more aware of all the benefits trees provide to the environment ”
The students in the class calculated the value of each tree by using iTree Design, an online software developed by the USDA Fo re s t Se r v i c e , a c c o rd i n g t o Bassuk This software can estimate the benefits of an individual
tree using its location, species, size and condition It can even calculate the impacts trees have on the heating and cooling utility bill, for those located near buildings
“All trees take up carbon dioxide and store it in their wood, h e l p i n g t o re d u c e c l i m a t e change,” Bassuk explained “A large Sweetgum tree near White Hall was calculated to store more than seven tons of carbon dioxide and capture more than 100,000 gallons of stormwater runoff for as long as 25 years ”
This exhibit has always been on the Ag Quad but due to construction, it has been moved to the Arts Quad this year
“We’re reaching a new audience there who will hopefully learn that trees are more than just pretty faces in the landscape,” Bassuk said “They are also real workhorses in the environment that return important, tangible benefits ”
The tags will be on the
also hopes that the declaration will continue sending a message of hope to anyone dealing with mental health concerns “As somebody who is ver y passionate about this because of our own tragedy, I can tell you how the heart was lifted by seeing this kind of thing,” MacLeod said “I think it’s a good sign to the vulnerable people in our community and someone who might be experiencing depression or anxiety, that there is hope People do care We are supporting you, and let’s fight this We’re not by any means giving up on anybody ”
University Resources: Members of the Cornell community seeking support can called Gannett Health Ser vices’ Counseling
Marin Langlieb can be reached at mlanglieb@cornellsun com
By DAVID BROTZ Sun Staff Writer
The Employee Assembly deliberated the changes to the academic calendar and presented the results of the 2016 Employee Survey Wednesday
During the meeting, Dean of Faculty Charles Van Loan gave the Assembly updates on possible changes to the Cornell Academic Calendar
Van Loan highlighted how, of the three options that the faculty had to choose from, the Modified Current Calendar, seemed the most favorable to employees, because it would feature a five day longer summer break
“In regards to employees, the Modified Current Calendar has some attractive features,” Van Loan said “One is restoring orientation to a full, five days, and at the end of the year, we would be restoring what are called Senior Days ”
The other option, the Early Commencement Calendar, would remove February break, feature a two week shorter winter break and a two week longer summer break
Van Loan described how Brown was Cornell’s only peer institution that had two breaks during spring semester, and that Yale has a single, two-week break
“So we ’ re extremists in that regard,” he said Shared governance organizations will vote from among the options, and the Provost will make the final decision
Besides the Academic Calendar, the Assembly also discussed the 2016 Employee Sur vey William Searle, from Institutional Research and Planning, delivered a presentation on the results
Administered by the Survey
Research Institute, the survey covered nearly 5,000 non-academic staff, with a response rate of 68 percent
According to the survey, 81 percent of respondents were at least somewhat satisfied with their jobs, a small increase from 80 percent of respondents in 2011, when the same survey was last put out
A new question on the 2016 survey, asking about the effects of “ unnecessar y bureaucratic red tape, ” found that only 32 percent of respondents found that “ unnecessary bureaucratic tape ” gets in the way of doing their jobs either “ not at all” or “ a little ”
The largest changes in results from the 2011 survey came in the category of “Leadership and Direction ” Only 39 percent of 2016 respondents “agreed” or “strongly agreed” with the statement, “I have a clear understanding of the strategic goals and objectives of Cornell as a whole,” a decrease from 50 percent of respondents in 2011
Similarly, 6 5 percent less respondents think that, “Overall, I think Cornell is moving in a positive direction,” and 10 1 percent less respondents agree with the statement, “University leadership has a clear vision for the future of the university ”
The number of respondents has seen a decrease from 5,870 in 2011 to only 4,823 this last year
After discussing the results of the survey, the Assembly brought forward that elections will be taking place for representatives of five colleges, disability and infrastructure
The voting period is meant to begin at 8 a m on April 24 and ends on Wednesday, April 26 at noon
David Brotz can be reached at dbrotz@cornellsun com
| Gara Lloyd-Lester, associate director of the Suicide Prevention Center in N Y addresses mental health stakeholders in Ithaca
Gloria Lee can be reached at gl2474@cornell edu
Faculty Senate Deliberates Over Options for Academic Calendar
SENATE
Continued from page 1
A presidential task force will be commissioned to develop concrete plans for the resolution’s implementation, Ellner said The force will collaborate with several other campus organizations that have already developed similar objectives
Following the vote, Dean of Faculty Charles Van Loan presented the report of the Academic Calendar Committee, which was formed in December
The Committee’s report includes two proposals, one assuming graduation date is fixed and the other assuming its date is moved Both are designed to address grievances and concerns regarding the purpose, placement and length of breaks, orientation and exam periods, Van Loan said
He added that comparing Cornell’s academic calendar with those of other peer institutions revealed many other ways that it was highly unusual
“Our current calendar is a very radical calendar,” he said “For example, if you look at how much other universities devote to new student orientation, we are at the very bottom
Cornell’s study and exam periods are longer relative to peer schools Winter breaks are 1 5 weeks above the median and summer breaks are 2 5 below the median, Van Loan said
expressed doubt that February break, which had originally been implemented five years ago after a series of suicides among students, really helps relieve stress
“The main issue isn’t graduation but whether we should have a February break,” said Prof Larry Blume, information science
In response, Van Loan emphasized the overwhelming support for Februar y break students expressed in the surveys conducted by the committee
Per the committee’s recommendation, the Faculty Senate and each of the Assemblies would vote on a ranking ballot Then, each assembly would communicate its preferences to the Provost, who will determine the final academic calendar from 2018 forward
After several faculty expressed concern for the shortened winter breaks which Prof Yuval Grossman, physics, called “crucial” the Senate tabled a motion to vote on whether to keep the current commencement days for the next meeting in May before voting in the default ranking ballot recommended by the committee
To conclude the meeting, Pollack delivered a brief remark to the Senate
“I am excited to interact with and learn from the faculty The faculty are the main people are the main people I have to learn from,” she said “The university is only as good as its faculty ”
Pollack said she would continue giving faculty more time to teach and do research through the bureaucracy reduction effort, which had started under President Elizabeth Garrett
She said she would continue support for scholarly research and expand efforts to increase overall trust in the central administration
Pollack also stressed the importance of Cornell’s commitment to its core academics, outreach with the City of Ithaca, and diversity, access and inclusion
John Yoon can be reached at jyoon@cornellsun com
A&S STUDENTS!!
Student Who Shared Internal Documents Cleared on All Counts
Judicial administrators silent on potential appeal of verdict
HEARING
Continued from page 1
however, he celebrated with his attorney, Alan Sash who was barred from speaking on his behalf during the hearing and Judicial Codes Coordinator Kendall Karr, a law student who made McBride’s case during the hearing
“This is all I’ve been thinking about for a month,” said McBride, who has been accepted into Georgetown Law
“This has taught me a lesson that people in power need to be held to account, and I think that law is the mechanism to do it,” he said Immediately after the ruling, McBride called his parents, who he said first found out he had been cleared by following The Sun’s live blog of the proceedings
“They were just so happy,” he said “They’ve been worrying about this constantly, too It’s just been hard on my whole family ”
The public hearing on Wednesday was the first in recent memory for several participants, including Joel Cisne, administrative chair of the University Hearing and Review Board Its public nature shed light on the campus judicial procedure, leading to claims from students and faculty that the OJA was overreaching in its prosecution
where only 60 people can be ”
“It is certainly not a public hearing,” added Aravind Natarajan, grad, who called the set-up an “absolute disappointment ”
“I’ve been involved in student government at Cornell since 2010 and this is the single worst abuse of power that I have ever witnessed,” said Paul Berry, grad “The procedures and policies of this institution are rotten and in desperate need of reform ”
Matters gradually improved when the audio quality was adjusted and the Graduate Professional Student Assembly and Student Assembly subsidized pizza for the attendees
Prof Richard Bensel, government, a member of the Faculty Senate and an outspoken critic of the case against McBride, said the ruling was “ a confirmation of good sense and justice ”
“But the conduct of the OJA in attempting to disable the defense by attempting to deny the assistance of counsel, prohibit the testimony of defense witnesses, and close the hearing to the public,” Bensel said in an email, “is simply inexcusable in an open university community that welcomes and, in fact, utterly depends on the presentation of contrary and competing opinions
“I’m glad the Board took seriously its obligation to enforce the Code as written, not as the administration wished ” P r o f W i l l i a m J a c o b s o n
The OJA had previously objected to McBride calling Clermont, the law professor who revised the code, to testify, and Chair DeVoogd upheld that decision
New Curriculum May Remove Writing Seminars
FORUM
Continued from page 1
The second adjustment of the new curriculum is Foundational Courses, which serve as “ gateway ” courses for their respective disciplines for students who “often find it daunting to take courses outside of their major,” Pepinsky said
Additionally, human difference has been added as the third breadth requirement in addition to geographic and historical breadth HD classes will focus on topics such as class, race, gender, nation, ability and ethnicity
The new curriculum also allows students to study abroad without any foreign language requirement, making it an easier and more accessible options
for students
Among these changes, the most debated during the forum was the removal of firstyear writing seminars
Some students raised the concern that with the loss of FWS, there would be less small, engaging classes that students could take, especially for STEM majors
In response, Pepinsky acknowledged that this concern has been brought up by students and faculty members alike and that this part of the curriculum will definitely see changes in the next revision
Pepinsky also emphasized that this is only a preliminary proposal The committee will be meeting with all the departments to get their feedbacks on the draft curriculum
William Bai can be reached at wbai@cornellsun com
Prof Kevin Clermont, law, was a member of the team that revised the Code in 2007 and 2008 and previously The Sun that neither of the provisions McBride is accused of violating apply to the circumstances in his case
“Cornell is trying to stretch the Code to reach behavior that the Code does not cover, ” he said
Prof William Jacobson, law, said after the verdict that he was “glad the Board took seriously its obligation to enforce the Code as written, not as the administration wished it had been written ”
Cornell and the OJA’s actions “ put at risk an innocent person ’ s reputation and career, ” Jacobson said in an email “Some self-reflection is in order at Day Hall ”
Students piled into a second-floor room of Uris Hall on Wednesday afternoon, where the hearing was broadcast live to a room of 60 people Many more filled the hallway outside of the room, waiting for others to give up their spots
The streaming audio was of poor quality and the UHB ultimately reversed its position and allowed two reporters to sit in the Day Hall room during the trial
Inside Uris Hall, Matthew Battaglia ’16, chair of the University Assembly Codes and Judicial Committee, and others argued that the hearing should have been held in a room that could accommodate all members of the public
“I think that it’s absolutely appropriate to raise a procedural objection that we are not following the rules that have been set out on campus, ” said Cisne, who had the unenviable task of acting as a liaison between the Uris Hall viewing room and the Day Hall proceedings
Christian Brickhouse ’17 asked how “public” was being defined by the OJA, “considering we are in a separate room where we can ’ t hear, we won ’ t be provided transcripts, and may or may not be allowed to broadcast [the proceedings] outside of this room,
Prof Elizabeth Sanders, government, said the prosecution “ process was a travesty from start to finish ”
“The charges were absurd and should never have been brought,” she wrote in an email after the verdict “The fact that they denied entry to Prof Clermont, an expert and contributing author of the Code, indicates a remarkable level of arrogance and vindictiveness ”
“We must work to reform the JA process and the irresponsible power of Cornell officials who do not believe in anything approaching shared governance, free speech, or democratic process, ” Sanders said Karr, who argued successfully for McBride during the hours-long proceeding, said there are many improvements that should be made to the campus judicial system
“Hopefully, any errors or things that are problematic [in the Code] can be addressed in the future through all of the parties that interact with the Code,” Karr said
McBride acknowledged after the proceedings that he worried the UHB would find him responsible as the proceedings continued into the night
“They were saying what I did was so wrong and I didn’t think the Code was being talked about,” he said
“Even if people think what I did was wrong, I think that the Code does not apply ”
McBride, hugging and high-fiving friends in Day Hall shortly after 10 p m , said he felt vindicated
“I’m just finally glad that the Code is upheld,” he said “That’s the vindication ”
To see an updated version of this stor y, see cornellsun com
Nicholas Bogel-Burroughs can be reached at nbogel-burroughs@cornellsun com
Drew Musto can be reached at dmusto@cornellsun com
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On professorial misconduct: a public letter
To t h e Ed i t o r :
The recent union drive at Cornell, like those at other campuses across the country, has given a voice to the issues that graduate students face One of the most pressing issues on which grads have organized is sexual harassment
This issue hits close to home at Cornell, which has more active Title IX investigations than any other university in the nation For graduate students, facts like this are especially worrisome Per a 2015 study by the Association of American Universities, grad students were four times more likely to be sexually harassed by a professor than undergrads
Professors who supervise grads have unparalleled influence over their future careers, which can create an environment in which grads feel they do not dare to lodge complaints
As a graduate student at Cornell, I am extremely troubled in fact, disgusted by the conduct of Professor of Chemistry and Chair of the Chemistry Department David Collum For years, Collum has publicly shared extremely sexist, bigoted and misogynistic statements These statements make me wonder how he can supervise female and/or LGBTQ students without creating what the law and Cornell’s policy call a “hostile work environment ” Allow me to share some examples:
He has used transphobic slurs to describe transwomen, calling them “trannies”
“Did you save it because @BTFDtv never recorded at request of closet tranny tweeted Jan 24, 2015
But I have a still photo of the tranny ” tweeted Jan 24, 2015
He has made posts indicating that he sees allowing young people to identify as their preferred gender as child abuse He then supported that claim by referencing the American College of Pediatrics (a fringe group founded to push anti-LGBTQ beliefs)
He has tweeted support for Mike Cernovich, a rape apologist whose social media record includes statements like: “Have you guys ever tried ‘raping’ a girl without using force? Try it It’s basically impossible Date rape does not exist ”
“@60Minutes You should do a piece on the #fakenews coming out of the main-stream media I’ll take @zerohedge’s and @cernovich’s anyday ” tweeted March 27, 2017
He has repeatedly tweeted rape-apologetic views, pushing the myth that rape on college campuses is a “perceived” threat, for example:
“In an effort to stem a perceived epidemic of sexual violence against women, the Department of Education sent strong messages to universities” David B Collum, Year in Review 2015
He has told men accused of sexual assault to sue their victims (“accuser”)
“Moral of the Story: Sue your accuser ” tweeted Feb 8, 2017 in response to an article about a student expelled from Amherst
He told a friend to “bring roofies” (a date rape drug) on a trip to Las Vegas
“Bring some roofies ” tweeted Sep 15, 2013 in response to “We should do a 3 day Vegas meet up ”
The problem of allowing such a person to supervise graduate students and graduate workers is compounded by Cornell’s policies with respect to complaints of sexual harassment: as the Department Chair for Chemistry, official complaints via Cornell’s Policy 6 4 would go through him personally How can graduate students at risk for sexual assault and bias feel safe knowing the man handling sexual harassment complaints is a rape apologist?
Sexual harassment is a real issue which should not be taken lightly, and having a rape apologist who encourages the use of date rape drugs serve as Chair of the Chemistry Department makes it impossible for such cases to be dealt with objectively
Cornell advertises itself as a “caring” institution, where grad students are supposed to feel and be! safe But with people like Collum sitting at the table where these issues should be addressed, it makes one wonder how many cases are handled with the dignity they deserve Indeed, it makes one wonder whether any student in the Chemistry Department would dare to bring a complaint, even in the case of the most egregious misconduct Harassment is extensive in many labs that employ graduate students, and research shows that the high prevalence of sexual harassment in labs has been one of the major factors discouraging women from going into the STEM fields
Cornell needs to join other universities and have official sexual assault complaints handled by a neutral and objective third party David Collum cannot be trusted to advise students and he needs to be removed from his position as Chair of the Chemistry Department
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Guest Room | Siobhan Brandman
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Siobhan Brandman is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences Guest Room runs periodically this semester Comments may be sent to associateeditor@cornellsun com
Shrugged
Trump Was Right
I’ m not a Donald Trump fan –– but I believe credit should be given when deserved President Trump’s decision to launch 59 Tomahawk cruise missiles at Syrian air instillations was both the strategic and moral decision to make
For the last six years, Syria has been locked in one of the deadliest civil wars in modern history, as nearly 450,000 civilians and soldiers have died The brutality and length of the conflict has revealed some of the darkest corners of man ’ s capacity to inflict pain and loss on itself The sheer destruction of this conflict has leveled cities, ruined families, displaced 7 5 million from their homes and forced 4 5 million to flee the country as refugees Syria’s civil war has been, without question, a war of immense pain and misery
At the helm of this crisis stands one man: Bashar alAssad –– Syria’s autocratic president The son of Syria’s former president, Hafez al-Assad, Assad once maintained complete and absolute control over the Syrian people
However, the powerful tide of the Arab Spring turned Syria’s once absolutist dictatorship into a land of anarchy
In a desperate attempt to save his own power, Assad violated international law by using chemical weapons against rebel forces Yet the horrific effects of these weapons were not solely felt by the soldiers of the rebel army; instead, hundreds of innocent men, women and children were exposed to the toxic chemicals Assad’s use of these weapons was not only illegal, but it also symbolized the worst of humanity A dictatorial strongman used his power to end lives, ruin families and expose the world to the horror of chemical warfare
In the wake of these attacks, the world’s most powerful nation did nothing Under the leadership of President Obama, the United States simply stared at the problem and hoped that it would go away No action was taken; no leadership was shown And as the United States shrunk from its responsibility to defend those who could not defend themselves, a new power emerged in the Middle East: Russia By supplying the Syrian government with weapons and air support, the Russian government effectively sanctioned the use chemical weapons and the killing of innocent civilians And as Russia acted to support the sheer evil of Assad’s regime, we passively stood by and watched
From a strategic standpoint, I understand Obama’s reluctance to intervene in the conflict There is little appetite in this nation for another Middle Eastern war, as our conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq, alongside the global War on Terror, have taken their toll Furthermore, there are many within the foreign relations establishment that are wary of the United States removing another Middle Eastern strongman The most recent removals of Middle Eastern dictators –– specifically Saddam Hussein in Iraq and Muammar Gaddafi in Libya –– have not ended well Hussein’s removal sparked a radical destabilization of political power in Iraq, as the new Iraqi parliament was unable to fully quell the warring Sunni, Shi’a and Kurdish factions within the nation As a result of this instability, a powerful fundamentalist group was able to gain large swaths of Iraqi territory: ISIS At the same time, the removal of Gaddafi in Libya created an intensely unstable state Thus, concerns over another American intervention in Middle Eastern affairs are understandable
Yet America’s unwillingness to act in the wake of blatant human rights violations is a sign of great weakness It is the job of the world’s lone superpower to fight for those who cannot fight for themselves –– and that involves reacting to the evil actions of rogue dictators Standing idly by as countless civilians are poisoned by chemical weapons is not a luxury afforded to a nation that claims to lead the free world
President Trump’s decision to attack Syrian air bases is good for multiple reasons First, it shows that the United States is willing to stand up and fight for what it believes to be right Second, it shows that America is not afraid to act in the wake of aggression Finally, the action gives the appearance of decisiveness –– and the appearance of decisiveness is one of the most important aspects of any nation’s capacity to project power
While Trump’s foreign policy thus far has been an embarrassing roller-coaster, his latest decision was one he got right By standing up to a tyrant, Trump has signaled to the world that the United States is prepared to defend the interests of free people across the globe Though Trump has much to do to repair his (and America’s) image abroad, this is certainly a step in the right direction
Michael Glanz el is a junior in the College of Ar ts and Sceinces
This May, Cornell University will host former Vice President Joe Biden as our convocation speaker Not surprisingly, the announcement has been well-received Although it is a time-honored tradition for politicians to speak at graduation, Biden is an unusually prominent and popular speaker Of course, Biden has attained considerable popularity due to his relaxed “Uncle Joe” persona and his down-to-earth personality More importantly, however, Biden is an vital example of leadership in a moment that desperately calls for leaders Biden has been an enormously influential figure in our political system over the past eight years I can ’ t simply summarize an entire administration in one column Here’s one big point, however: in 2009, President Obama and Vice President Biden were inaugurated amidst the greatest economic downturn since the Great Depression Yet, through an economic stimulus spearheaded by Biden, the worst consequences were avoided Biden was one of the most prominent advisors within the Obama administration, particularly as a contrarian voice
It can be easy to forget, for example, that there was a time less than five years ago when the Democratic Party had no consistent position on marriage equality Biden announced his personal support, forcing President Obama quickly to follow suit By the end of the year, the party had found a consensus Biden’s simple words made a difference It means something to speak out, even if others are hesitant
This principle is equally apparent through Biden’s dedication to combating the epidemic of sexual assault on college campuses With the “It’s On Us” campaign, Biden brought a clear message to students across the country: the responsibility can ’ t be passed along to someone else Accordingly, there will be moments where it is uncomfortable to speak out It’ll make you unpopular But it’s still your moral obligation to do so The prevention of sexual assault is an unusually visceral example The duty to speak out holds in every aspect of our lives
That’s one of the reasons that it’s so important for us to hear from Joe He gets the importance of duty He lives it
And, it must be said, he has endured through devastating experiences Shortly after winning his first term in the United States Senate, he lost his wife and daughter in a car accident that also severely injured his two sons In 2015, Biden was confronted with the loss of his son, Beau, to cancer
Few of us have dealt with such tragedy; Biden has candidly admitted to being overwhelmed in the aftermath I have no doubt that not a single day goes by where Biden does not
AKevin Kowalewski | Democratic Dialogue
Lessons From Joe
think of Beau Still, in spite of everything, he has never quit He’s kept going He has dedicated himself to fixing problem by leading national effort to cure cancer Instead of retreating into bitterness or hopelessness, Biden has been shaped into a man of perseverance and empathy
In another world, perhaps, Biden may have made an attempt to be President Obama’s successor in the White House We do not know, and cannot know how that would have turned out But as a politician, Biden is gifted He delivers simple, effective messages about protecting the middle class and working class The role of Biden’s government is not to be big or small, but to make it so that every mom and dad can tell their kids that it’s gonna be O K , and mean it
Going forward, the Democratic Party could learn a lot from Biden It must remain keenly aware of the daily struggle of millions of Americans The path back to a majority will run through many of the same communities that turned away from Democrats in 2016 As the Democrats adjust their messaging, they should also remember the other key pillar of Bidenism: relentless optimism about America Even when times are rough, Biden has always stressed his belief that America will come out on top It’s a uplifting narrative that will help focus the purpose of the Democratic Party, even when things look dark
Ultimately, the lesson we should take from Joe shouldn’t be just about a party It’s a lesson about the values that should motivate us every day If you ’ re one of the big guys, stick up for the little guys If you ’ re knocked down, you get back up If you see something wrong, you damn well better say something about it That’s what Joe Biden stands for That’s the authentic, good-humored, courageous public servant we will soon welcome to Ithaca to send off our graduating class And I can ’ t wait Have you heard of the Dairy Bar, Mr Vice President?
Kevin Kowalewski is a senior in the College of Arts and Sceinces Democratic Dialogue appears alternate Thursdays this semester
Gaby Leung | Serendipitous Musings
For What It Is
whole Great Gatsby affair comes to mind when I think about the ’20s The glorified notion of the time of prohibition, symbolized by speakeasies and flappers Or when I think of the ’60s, it’s Woodstock and hippies that come to mind, complete with colorful Volkswagen vans and the Beatles
It seems like human nature to categorize these time periods We find specific objects or events to describe an entire era, so that when we look back on a particular decade, a specific image comes to mind Interestingly enough, I’ve found that art has become a medium that enables this categorization
My friend once asked me, with genuine interest and not the usual condescending tone I get from non-humanities majors, why I study Art History I knew my answer: the reason I had been so drawn to the subject from the very beginning was my realization that, although history relays the sequence of events and explains why certain things occur, art history explains how people react How we, as human beings, respond to what we are dealt I find it fascinating to trace the similarities of how humans create art throughout history, finding an interconnectedness of humanity that is comforting Art styles change across cultures and time, but some human emotions remain the same, something that is evident in the way we feel when we view a piece of art
Art movements emerge when artists have a similar interest in a certain aesthetic or concept while responding to the culture of their time and current events Pop Art emerged in the 1950s in response to the mass consumerism and increasing consumption in the United States With the mass images available to the public, artists found a way to use the commonplace images that were dominant in American popular culture (such as Campbell’s soup cans and Coca-Cola
bottles) to illustrate this idealization of mass production Andy Warhol’s screenprinting process created a machine-like look that mimicked the mass-produced items he used in his work Minimalism, on the other hand, was a movement born as a response to both Pop Art and Abstract Expressionism, reducing art to its base materiality and surface, moving away from a pictorial and illusionistic representation of objects
Just as there were the Michelangelos of the Italian Renaissance, the Caravaggios and Rembrandts of the Baroque Period and the Monets of Impressionism, I often find myself wondering: who are the artists of our time? What will they name this time period? When people read about the 2010s in textbooks decades later, who will they find on the pages they flip through? Who will be projected onto screens and written about in essays? Whose lives will be investigated so that every little thing they might have said or done is made to look as though it influenced their artwork?
And once those questions arose, whether I was studying art in class, or strolling through the rooms of MoMA or the Met, I couldn’t help but wonder where we stood in history Life, it seemed, was a linear narrative that flowed continuously forward, with labels placed periodically on the timeline to indicate a significant period had passed I could look backwards and see Assyrian lamassus, Laocöön’s writhing body and the creation of Adam I saw Botticelli’s Venus, Seurat’s dots and Warhol’s cans But I think of now, and all the current artwork I have been exposed to, and I feel disoriented and confused I can ’ t seem to find a connection between what I see that creates a distinct label I wanted to find something a theme, a style, anything that tied art together in a way that made sense I wanted to see the breakdown of a surface
and simplification of natural forms and know it was Cubism I was looking at I wanted to see works that reflected dreams and the power of the imagination, and know I was dealing with Surrealist artists And then something changed It was when I went to the Whitney’s Biennial that I came to realize the importance of appreciating art now, not for what it might do to influence future art movements or how it represents time, but for my personal connection to it The Biennial showcases living artists’ works, art that reflects the current issues of our time, such as racial inequalities, economic inequity and political tensions As I walked through the exhibition, the impact of the work I was seeing hit me tremendously These were artists who were living, whose works resonated with me because they were so real and true And I understood that there was no point in wondering what we would be seen as in the future; how people would view this time period in relation to the artwork that was created within it Because I could see the work and feel the power of it firsthand They weren ’ t things I studied in textbooks or read scholarly articles about They reflected current issues that either impacted me directly or indirectly They made me feel like I was part of the experience, not an outsider who tentatively looked in I don’t want to label these moments Maybe years from now, people will find a name to categorize the artworks made during this time period Maybe they’ll find a similar style or technique that connects the works But all I can do at the moment all I want to do is appreciate these works of art for how human, present and alive they make me feel
Dining Guide
Your source for good food
Coltivare’s Bold Collaboration
Blending For-Profit Business and Higher Education
By LOUISA HEYWOOD
Sun Staff Wr ter
Ibegan my conversation with Jason Sidle, Director of Operations at Coltivare, located on Cayuga Street in downtown Ithaca, by asking him to explain the restaurant ’ s partnership with Tompkins Cortland Community College “There is no partnership We are TC3,” he responded So began my reconnaissance of Coltivare and TC3’s revolutionary Farm to Bistro program The program, which opened in December 2014, contains four hospitality programs, three of which are operated directly out of Coltivare and one that calls a new 32-acre plot of farmland, owned by TC3, home
If you haven’t been there yet, Coltivare is one of Ithaca’s most tasteful, tasty and innovative restaurants With a farm-to-table focus and an emphasis on seasonality, the restaurant ’ s constantly changing men etables, fr uit kitchen, in ad strict attention ents, values tion nearly as It was telling when I recei my bill at t end of th meal, include was an evalua tion with th first questio asking, “ W your plate co ful?” Yes, Col is not your college studen
While din street-side d cooking facili into the build ular commercial kitchen that fuels the restaurant, Coltivare unveiled a state-of-the-art teaching kitchen with the opening of the hospitality program The kitchen allows culinary students to observe and practice at individual stations with an
instructor up front
In addition to the teaching kitchen, the Coltivare complex also houses a wine tasting room for students of the program The area is outfitted with auditoriumstyle seating and tables with small circular lights built in to illuminate wine glasses for inspection The wine program has extended itself internationally with virtual wine classes through a partner school in France Through these collaborations, students taste wines mailed ahead from abroad while listening to experts from the region of interest
Students in the two-year culinary program, who hail from all over New York state, learn the restaurant business through their chosen area of focus Currently offered concentrations include culinar y ar ts, wine marketing, hotel and restaurant management and sustainable farming and food systems Although there may be
well as front-of-the-house serving staff, hosts and bartenders
While many schools boast culinary programs, rarely do you find one as comprehensive and fully integrated as Coltivare’s, which lements of the and supply
two-year colleges across the United States, there are none, according to Sidle, that have a culinar y center, restaurant and farm to work with
As an offshoot of the various TC3 curricula, the culinary program is tr uly comprehensive Students take hands-on classes onsite Monday through Friday for the entirety of the semester They also benefit from Coltivare’s forprofit business by using real restaurant data in accounting classes
TC3’s culinar y program is highly selective of applicants as well Currently, 65 students populate the Coltivare culinary program, a small group compared the more than 200 applicants of the program, which began its second year this fall
The education continues beyond daytime classes Most of the students enrolled in the culinary program also work in the restaurant, shifting roles for maximum experience When I visited, Sidle pointed out all the students working on staff that night They included prep cooks and chefs working the line during service, as
nt meal there xciting deparom the redundining halls Cornell’s cams To start, y friends and shared that ay ’ s appetizer pecial: pierogis uffed with u s h r o o m s , sed beef and onions atop a cake and local rée The crearnished with elized onions description imidating to those of us who were used to more casual dining, but the warmth and comfort of the dish was immediately pleasing and undoubtedly delicious “I’m a fan,” my friend concluded of the pierogi
From there, we moved on to the restaurant ’ s now-famous Apple Fest mac and cheese I remember tr ying this masterpiece in September and being blown away by the cooked apple and braised pork flavors In the restaurant, however, the kitchen overcompensated with presentation (excessive browning and garnish) and lost the intense cheesiness I remember from Apple Fest To be clear, I wasn ’ t truly complaining, it just wasn ’ t how I remembered it
For a second main course to share, we sampled the “Wine and Swine” pizza The crust was perfect yeasty yet crispy and the toppings (apple butter and gruyere) were inventive and complemented the shaved ham well
Sometimes, restaurants offering extravagant desserts get so caught up in being over the top in presentation (think: Black Tap’s Instagrammable milkshakes) that they lose a quality of flavor This
was not the case with the “Death by Chocolate” masterpiece The dessert, a mini bundt cake coated in fudge and layered with chocolate mousse and coconut pecan frosting, paired with a chocolate truffle on the side (because why not?), was blissful
As for TC3’s prophesied farm (it is still in the works), the project consists of approximately 32 acres adjacent to TC3’s Dryden campus, with just 12 to 15 acres under cultivation at the moment In addition to teaching sustainable farming practices, the farm operates as an organic CSA (community-supported agriculture) supplier to the greater community and collaborator with Coltivare The farm intends to succeed as a profitable CSA and restaurant supplier as well as an outdoor classroom for the Sustainable Farming culinary students
Although the restaurant tries to be as local as possible, with “8085% of the menu sourced from Tompkins County,” Sidle reminded me that, as a business, “ we need to have things that people want to buy seafood, for example ” The restaurant must be a profitable
business in order for students to learn the trade This means that, while the restaurant would ideally serve 100 percent local food, economic constraints of demand prevent it In all, Coltivare is an icon to
“There is no partnership. We are TC3.”
explore that offers much more to the Ithaca community than highend meals Its culinary program adds depth to the culture of the restaurant that is worth consideration and appreciation Oh, and next time you go, ask, “Are there any students in the kitchen tonight?”
Louisa Heywood is a freshman in the School of Industrial and Labor Relations She can be reached at lheywood@cornellsun com
LOUISA HEYWOOD / SUN STAFF WRITER
Franchise ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT
BY NICK SMITH Sun Staff Writer
I w e n t t o t h e b a t h r o o m d u r i n g t h i s m ov i e ( a n d I
n e v e r d o t h a t ) I u s u a l l y g e t p i s s e d o f f w h e n I s e e o t h e r
p e o p l e l e a v e t h e t h e a t e r b e f o r e t h e l i g h t s c o m e u p, b u t
w a t c h i n g Fa t e o f t h e Fu r i o u s , I h a d n o p r o b l e m s t e pp i n g o u t f o r a m i n u t e T h e k i c k e r i s t h a t I w a s n ’ t i n a
h u r r y I w a l k e d c a l m l y t o a n d f r o m t h e r e s t r o o m
a n d e v e n s t o p p e d t o f i x m y h a i r o n t h e w a y o u t Fo r r e f e r e n c e , w h e n I d r a n k a l i t t l e t o o m u c h I C E E d u r i n g m y s e c o n d v i e w i n g o f T h e Fo rc e Aw a k e n s , I f l a t o u t s p r i n t e d t o t h e b a t h r o o m a n d d i d n ’ t s t o p t o w a s h m y h a n d s W h e n I r e t u r n e d f r o m m y l e n g t h y r e s t r o o m e x c u rs i o n , m y f r i e n d i n f o r m e d m e t h a t I h a d n ’ t m i s s e d
m u c h ” j u s t s o m e g u s h y s t u f f ” By “ g u s h y s t u f f ” I m e a n a n y t h i n g o t h e r t h a n f a s t c a r s b e i n g d r i v e n a g g r e s s i v e l y, w h i c h I m a i n t a i n s h o u l d b e t h e o n l y t h i n g o n s c r e e n a t a l l t i m e s A n d t h i s “ g u s h y s t u f f ” i s m y m a i n p r o b l e m w i t h t h i s n e w i n s t a l l m e n t i n t h e Fa s t a n d Fu r i o u s s e r i e s D e s p i t e t h e i r f l a w s , I t h i n k t h e e a r l i e r m ov i e s s a w t h e m s e l v e s f o r w h a t t h e y w e r e : s t u p i d f u n Ho w e v e r, a s t h e s e r i e s h a s p r o g r e s s e d i t h a s p u s h e d b o t h e n d s o f t h e s p e c t r u m a c t i o n a n d p l o t t o t h e i r l i m i t s W h a t s t a r t e d a s a f a i r l y s t r a i g h t - f o r w a rd s e r i e s a b o u t a s m a l l , g a s o l i n e - t h i r s t y c a s t o f c h a r a c t e r s a n d t h e i r i n t e r a c t i o n s w i t h l a w m e n a n d o u t l a w s h a s e v o l v e d i n t o a n a c t i o n - h e a v y b o x o f f i c e b e h e m o t h w i t h a s t a r - s t u d d e d c a s t a n d s t e a d i l y p r o g r e s s i n g s t o r y l i n e
A n d t h e s e m ov i e s h a v e a l w a y s d o n e f a s t c a r s r i g h t ! Su r e w e h a v e n ’ t g o t t e n s o m e t h i n g a s i c o n i c a s t h e
G e n e r a l L e e ( D u k e s o f Ha z z a rd ) f r o m t h i s s e r i e s , b u t t h e f r a n c h i s e h a s g i v e n u s s o m e o f t h e b e s t d r i v i n g s c e n e s i n r e c e n t m e m o r y A n d I ’ l l a d m i t t h a t e v e r y a c t i o n s c e n e i n t h e n e w f i l m g o t m e i n t o t h a t s p e c i a l m i n d - n u m b i n g d u m b s t r u c k t r a n c e w e ’ v e c o m e t o
c r a v e f r o m t h e s e m ov i e s I ’d l i k e t o s e e t h i s f r a n c h i s e p r e s e n t o u r h e r o e s w i t h a n e w b a d d i e t o t a k e d o w n i n a s p e e d y a n d i r a t e ( g e t i t ? ) m a n n e r e v e r y t w o y e a r s o r s o a n d d r o p a l l i t s p r e -
r i o u s d o e s n o t h i n g t o q u e l l t h e m a d -
c o m p l e x i t y A n d t h o u g h I ’ m f i n e w i t h r a m p i n g u p t h e t h r i l l s , t h e i n c r e a s i n g g r a v i t y o f t h e ov e r a r c h i n g s t o r yl i n e d o e s n ' t a l w a y s c o m e a c r o s s w e l l T h e s e m ov i e s h a v e a s k e d m e t o s w a l l o w a l o t We’v e s e e n o u r e v e r - e x p a n d i n g c a s t o f c h a r a c t e r s c o n q u e r c o r n e r s , t u n n e l s , b o rd e r s , t r a i n s , c a r g o p l a n e s , t a n k s , m i l i t a r y h e l i c o p t e r s a n d s o m e f u n d a m e n t a l l a w s o f p h y s i c s w i t h n o t h i n g b u t h o r s e p o w e r a n d i n g e n u i t y T h e Fa t e o f t h e Fu
n e s s A s y o u c a n s e e i n t h e t r a i l e r, o u r c r e w b a t t l e s w i t h
a R u s s i a n s u b m a r i n e o n a f r o z e n a r c t i c s e a A n d s o m e -
w h a t s u r p r i s i n g l y, I ’ m o k a y w i t h a l l t h a t
Su r e , t h e m a i n c h a r a c t e r s a r e p r a c t i c a l l y g o d s , b u t
b r o a d l y s p e a k i n g t h e d r i v i n g a n d a c t i o n s c e n e s i n t h e s e
m ov i e s a r e w e l l e x e c u t e d a n d , t h o u g h t h e y ’ r e a b s u rd , t h e y ’ r e c o n s i s t e n t i n t h e i r a b s u rd i t y T h e y p l a y b y t h e i r
o w n r u l e s S o w h e n I ’ m a s k e d t o a c c e p t D o m ( V i n
D i e s e l ) a n d f r i e n d s ’ s e e m i n g i n v i n c i b i l i t y, I d o ! T h a t s a i d , m y a c c e p t a n c e o f t h e a b s u rd i t y g e t s w o r n
d o w n b y t h e f r a n c h i s e ’ s r e p e a t e d a t t e m p t s t o d i v e d e e p i n t o c o m p l e x p l o t s a n d c h a r a c t e r d e v e l o p m e n t It’s
h a rd t o w a t c h a s c e n e i n t e n d e d t o p u l l o n t h e h e a r ts t r i n g s w h e n i t i m m e d i a t e l y f o l l o w s o u r p r o t a g o n i s t s j u m p i n g a Ly k a n Hy p e r s p o r t o f f t h e t o p f l o o r o f a
D u b a i s k y s c r a p e r
D e s p i t e t h e i n h e r e n t s i l l i n e s s o f t h e s e m ov i e s , t h e i r t e n d e n c y t o t a k e t h e m s e l v e s t o o s e r i o u s l y c a n g e t i n t h e w a y o f o n e i m p o r t a n t t r u t h t h a t t h e y s h o u l d c l i n g t o : f a s t c a r s a r e f r e a k i n g a w e s o m e L i k e h o l y c r a p T h e y ’ r e s o f l i p p i n g c o o l Ho t d i g g i t y d o g ( m y p a r e n t s r e a d t h e s e , I ’ m t r y i n g t o b e c i v i l )
t e n s e s o f s o p h i s t i c a t i o n Fo r a w h i l e , I t h o u g h t Fa t e o f t h e F u r i o u s h a d g o n e t h i s r o u t e T h e o p e n i n g s e q u e n c e s o f t h i s f i l m s c r e a m e d c h i l d i s h f u n , b u t p l o t -
l i n e s q u i c k l y b o g g e d i t d o w n W h e n I g o t o s e e a Fa s t a n d Fu r i o u s m ov i e , i t ’ s n o t t o e x p l o r e t h e d e p t h s o f h u m a n c h a r a c t e r ; i t ’ s t o t u r n m y b r a i n o f f a n d o g l e f a s t c a r s a n d c u n n i n g s t u n t s Mo r e o f t e n t h a n n o t , t h e a c t i o n a n d p l o t g e t i n t h e w a y o f e a c h o t h e r T h e p l o t g e t s s t r e t c h e d t o s h o e h o r n i n a n a c t i o n s c e n e t h a t l o o k e d c o o l o n t h e s t o r y b o a rd a n d t h e a c t i o n g e t s c u t o f f a b r u p t l y t o m a k e r o o m f o r a c r u c i a l p l o t p o i n t W i t h t h e e l e v a t i n g l e v e l s o f a c t i o n w e ’ v e c o m e t o e x p e c t f r o m t h e Fa s t a n d Fu r i o u s f r a nc h i s e , t h e m u t u a l e x c l u s i v i t y o f i t s a b s u rd s t u n t s a n d c o m p l e x p l o t s i s b e c o m i n g a l l t h e m o r e p a i n f u l l y e v id e n t It s e e m s l i k e t h e s e c o m p l a i n t s w i l l f a l l o n d e a f e a r s D o n ’ t g e t m e w r o n g I g e t i t ! It c a n ’ t b e e a s y t o t e l l a b u n c h o f a c t o r s a n d c r e w m e m b e r s t h a t t h e y a r e n ’ t w o r k i n g o n a m ov i e w i t h r i c h s t o r y It c a n ’ t b e e a s y t o s u b j u g a t e y o u r o w n f i l m t o t h e k i n d o f “ n o - p l o t ” c r i ti c i s m s i t w o u l d g a r n e r, b u t e v e r y t h i n g c o n s i d e r e d , t h a t ’ s t h e r o u t e I ’d l i k e t o s e e t h e s e m ov i e s t a k e
Un t i l Un i v e r s a l d e c i d e s t h e y ’ r e a l r i g h t w i t h d r o pp i n g t h e i r a s p i r a t i o n s o f h a v i n g a “ r e a l ” p l o t s i n t h e s e m ov i e s , f u t u r e a d d i t i o n s t o t h i s s e r i e s w i l l k e e p f e e l i n g s h a l l o w It’s m i n d - b o g g l i n g t h a t i n f i l m s w h e r e w e s e e p e o p l e p e r f o r m f e a t s o f u n b e l i e v a b l e d i f f i c u l t y t h e t h i n g s t h a t t a k e m e o u t o f t h e m ov i e a r e p l o t p o i n t s My q u a l m s w i t h t h e m e r e e x i s t e n c e o f t h i s m ov i e ’ s p l o t a s i d e , Fa t e o f t h e Fu r i o u s c o n t i n u e s a n o t h e r c o nc e r n i n g t r e n d E a r l y i n t h i s f r a n c h i s e , o u r h e r o e s d e f e a t e d t h e i r a d v e r s a r i e s w i t h w i t a n d b u r n i n g r u b b e r a n d n o w w e l l , t h e r e ’ s n o o t h e r w a y t o s a y t h i s t h e y ’ r e m u rd e r e r s O u r “ h e r o e s ” g r a d u a t e d f r o m w i nn i n g r a c e s t o a b s o l u t e l y b r u t a l k i l l i n g s Fo r e x a m p l e , a t b e g i n n i n g o f t h i s f i l m , D o m t a k e s d o w n a g u y i n a n e p i c r a c e a n d w i n s h i s r e s p e c t T h a t ’ s h o w t h i n g s u s e d t o b e ! L a t e r i n t h e m ov i e , L e t t y s t r a i g h t u p t h r o w s a g u y i n t o a p r o p e l l o r A n d s u r e i t m i g h t m a k e s e n s e t h a t o u r p r o t a g o n i s t s ’ a c t i o n s e s c a l a t e d a l o n g s i d e t h e h e i g h t e n i n g s t a k e s , b u t t h a t ’ s j u s t t h e p r o b l e m I w a s a d d r e s s i n g e a r l i e r T h e p o i n t a t w h i c h t h i s s e r i e s t u r n e d f a m i l y - l ov i n g r a c e c a r d r i v e r s i n t o u l t r a - e l i t e o p e r a t i v e s o f d e a t h w a s t h e p o i n t a t w h i c h i t l o s t i t s e l f T h e s a d t h i n g i s , I k n o w t h i s f r a n c h i s e c o u l d b e r e m e m b e r e d f o n d l y i f i t t u r n e d t h i n g s a r o u n d T h e r e ’ s a p l a c e i n c i n e m a h i s t o r y f o r a u n i q u e , p e d a l - t o - t h em e t a l a c t i o n f r a n c h i s e Ho w e v e r, t h e r e m i g h t n o t b e a s p o t f o r o n e t h a t k e p t t r i p p i n g i t s e l f u p t o b e r e m e mb e r e d i n 5 0 y e a r s ( a s s u m i n g t h e y a r e n ’ t s t i l l c h u r n i n g t h e s e t h i n g s o u t w h e n I ’ m i n m y 7 0 s ) No w r e a d e r, y o u m i g h t b e t h i n k i n g I h a t e d t h i s m ov i e a n d I ’ m a b o u t t o t e l l y o u t h a t ’ s n o t t o t a l l y t r u e ( p l e a s e s t a y w i t h m e ) T h o u g h I j u s t w r o t e ov e r 1 0 0 0 w o rd s c o m p l a i n i n g a b o u t t h i s m ov i e , I d i d s o b e c a u s e I ’ m k i n d a a f a n o f t h e f r a n c h i s e I g r e w u p r e a d i n g Mo t o r Tr e n d , Au t o m o b i l e , a n d C a r a n d D r i v e r r e l ig i o u s l y I w a t c h e d To p Ge a r l i k e i t w a s m y j o b S o w h e n a f r a n c h i s e c a m e a r o u n d t h a t w a s a b o u t c a r s ; o n e n o t j u s t t h r o w i n g i n a c a r c h a s e h e r e a n d t h e r e o r s o m e s e x y B - r o l l f o o t a g e b u t o n e r e a l l y a b o u t c a r s , I l a t c h e d o n t o i t Su r e , t h e a c t i n g i s n ’ t a l w a y s p e r f e c t a n d s u r e , l i k e I l a m e n t e d e a r l i e r, t h e r e a r e s o m e s e r i o u s p r o b l e m s w i t h i t s s t o r y l i n e s , b u t a t t h e i r c o r e s t h e s e m ov i e s h a v e a l w a y s b e e n f u n t o w a t c h Fa t e o f t h e Fu r i o u s i s n o d i ff e r e n t T h o u g h m u c h o f t h i s m ov i e a n n o y e d m e , I a l s o f o u n d m y s e l f t u r n i n g t o m y f r i e n d i n g i d d y a m u s em e n t a c o u p l e t i m e s T h i s m ov i e ’ s a c t i o n i s j u s t t h e s t u p i d k i n d o f f u n I ’ m a n a b s o l u t e s u c k e r f o r Fa t e o f t h e Fu r i o u s , l i k e a l l o f t h e s e q u e l s , i s a l r i g h t , e v e
I’m Smurfing Done With Smurfs: The Lost Village
BY DAVID GOULDTHORPE Sun Staff Writer
In 2011, The Smurfs came to us from Sony Pictures Animation In 2013, we got a sequel Both movies were panned, and now Sony has decided to reboot the Smurfs again Smurfs: The Lost Village is directed by Kelly Asbury, who also directed Shrek 2 and Gnomeo and Juliet The writing duo includes Stacey Harman, who did work on The Goldbergs, and Pamela Ribon, who worked on Moana and is currently attached to Ralph Breaks the Internet These are all very talented women, and it should have been a cinch for them to put together a great movie! Alas, Sony Pictures Animation appears to remain a place where, as Phil Lord described, “it’s too hard to do great work” Smurfs: The Lost Village is unfunny, boring and an overall unpleasant experience to sit through
The movie centers on Smurfette (Demi Lovato), who we learn was created by the evil wizard Gargamel (Rainn Wilson) to lead him to Smurf Village If he can find the Smurfs, then he can extract their magic to become the most powerful wizard in the world Luckily, Papa Smurf (Mandy Patinkin) managed to turn her from the dark side, but she still struggles with not being an actual Smurf One day, Smurfette finds evidence that more Smurfs live in the Forbidden Forest, and accidentally tips off Gargamel to their existence It becomes a race against time to warn the new village before Gargamel reaches them first However, the lost village has a surprise of its own: instead of being all-male, like Smurf Village, this one is all-female! Will Smurfette finally find her true identity here after all?
I’m not gonna lie, I had to cap off that synopsis with filler, because that’s so much of what this movie is It’s hard to put together what the story even is because characters seem to have little logical progression Smurfette seems to feel guilty for letting Gargamel discover the whereabouts of the lost village, but then seems shocked when he assigns the blame to her All of the characters are downright irritating, and without that, the movie crumbles Look, I know that Smurfs are famous for their one-dimensional personalities: Brainy Smurf is a know-it-all, Hefty Smurf likes to work out, Clumsy Smurf is
clumsy and so on When you ’ re making a movie, though, you have to take creative liberties to flesh a Saturday morning cartoon into a working story Sony clearly doesn’t know how to do that Gargamel is a pitiful villain; apparently his greatest concern is getting himself some hair Between his slapstick antics and constant buffoonery, his lousy character saps the plot of any sense of conflict And then there are the female Smurfs I feel like the movie is trying to send a feminist message that says that girls and women can be whatever they want but it’s hard to do that when your three female supporting characters
I outright groaned at several gags Seeing Gargamel brandish a block of cheese that he announces was in his underwear for a week elicits not comedy, but disgust Seeing him grab an eagle and kiss it for a little bit too long doesn’t make me laugh, it makes me cringe Watching Gargamel getting bitten on the butt by a fish and saying it’s a “bottom feeder” doesn’t leave me rolling in the aisles, it leaves me thinking that I could have spent my time and money better by rewatching Your Name A lot of other “jokes” come from characters trying to be annoying Surprise: it’s not funny, it’s actually annoying! It’s hard
are all stereotypes You have Smurf Storm: she’s edgy and cynical, but has a soft spot! You have Smurf Blossom: she talks too much and is unbearably annoying You have Smurf Willow: she leads the female Smurfs and falls in love with Papa Smurf, because of course she smurfin’ does! When the characters are as weak as these, you can ’ t get invested in the story, and when the movie tries to pull off dramatic moments, like Smurfette Disneydying at the end (spoiler: she comes back to life with the power of love), it feels hollow and unearned
Okay, so maybe the plot is weak I could forgive that if it at least made me laugh Unfortunately, Smurfs: The Lost Village has hardly any laughs in it at all The issue extends beyond a flat-out absence of humor;
to laugh with characters that we constantly want to chuck out a window Then there are the stolen jokes Gargamel invents these spheres that freeze Smurfs, and as he throws them he shouts “Freeze ball! Freeze ball!” which totally does not mirror Gru shouting “Freeze ray! Freeze ray!” in Despicable Me They even steal a gag from one of their own movies That bit where Clumsy falls off a cliff and screams, only to find he’s actually safe? They did it in Horton Hears a Who! in 2007 I honestly felt embarrassed for Sony watching this movie Between the embarrassment, the annoyance and the disgust, I had maybe one laugh during the movie The one gag that worked was ironically at Smurfette’s faux-funeral Sad! The voice-acting for the movie was simi-
larly poor Many voices felt simply miscast, but one of the biggest offenders was Rainn Wilson as Gargamel Wilson simply didn’t deliver a lot of emotion to his role At one point he yells “SMURRRRFS!” as the camera zooms away from him but he feels bored in the recording booth A few lines I picked out though feel like he’s giving less of a performance, and more of an angry lecture to the executives: “Stop ruining things!” “This isn’t funny!” “Why won ’ t they just die?!” After this film, I myself am ready for the Smurfs movies to die out
So much went wrong with this movie that I hardly even know how to categorize everything There are just so many halfbaked ideas that leave me wondering “Why?” Why are there rabbits that glow in the dark and act/sound like horses? Why is the Forbidden Forest forbidden in the first place? Who cares, Sony clearly doesn’t! They care so little, they still use running sound effects from the 1960s! Oh yeah, that tapping that you hear on The Flintstones? It shows up here! Those little bursts of stars from people getting hit on the head? Those things that the Looney Tunes relied on? They make an appearance! So much of Smurfs: The Lost Village screams lousy execution, and it simply leaves a bad feeling in my stomach
So far this year, I gave Rock Dog and The Boss Baby lukewarm reviews I feared that maybe I wasn ’ t being critical enough; I’ve only been doing this for about a year now, so I still feel like I’m learning Was I being too soft?
Smurfs: The Lost Village has done one good thing: it assured me my scale is still calibrated Rock Dog had flaws, but managed to be amiable and have a solid enough center Boss Baby had flaws, but managed to deliver at least a few good laughs and performances Smurfs: The Lost Village has nothing to offer It’s dull, contrived and downright offensive to good taste It’s not even worth putting on in the background because it’s so annoying I hope that Asbury, Harman and Ribon move on to better work, because I honestly don’t blame them for this trainwreck; Sony Animation has simply become an unpleasant studio with an unpleasant reputation But hey, at least there’s their next movie this year!
The Emoji Movie
David Gouldthorpe is a junior in the School of Industrial and Labor Relations He can be reached at djg284@cornell edu
Personality in Electromagnetism: The Glamour & the Squalor
Car speakers emit radio waves with a long travel logged history When we turn up the dial on a finger-worn sound system, our heads bop to a sound bit morphed into electromagnetic energy a wave particle caught up in the ionosphere, thrust back down again and ricocheted at the speed of light from one aerial antenna to the next By the time these notes reach our numb ears, they carry more than empty air Once our carpool starts singing the lyrics, we ’ ve forgotten even what station transmits each new note The next best single transports our minds like the longform radio wave away from car parts and gasoline, beyond wired batteries and tuning dial Good music moves us into an upper atmosphere of selective unconsciousness where we feel the melody and forget the process
This Friday, Cornell Cinema moves backward in the opencircuit and recognizes the electric lines behind musical energy The Glamour & the Squalor overlooks the importance of electromagnetic waves but gives credit to the man behind the radio The documentary film first released in June of 2015 screens the life and legacy of Marco Collins, the Seattle disc jockey often called America’s last great D J Collins debuted tracks by Death Cab for Cutie, Weezer, Nirvana, Pearl Jam and seemingly every other great American rock group of the last thirty years At the same time, he etched new grooves for the LGBT community The Glamour & the Squalor offers a glimpse behind our seemingly person-less radio boxes and a look inside the heart of a history
Director Marq Evans takes radio listeners back to 1991 From the boom box to the stereo to the Walkman, different
hardware plays the same sounds Evans shows how Marco Collins connects disparate pieces, parts, people and places with his software an ear for listenability In a small captured moment with a high-school-age “radio host” Collins reveals, sarcastically yet symbolically, how his work functions The young girl professes, “I myself am a D J and program director at a tiny ten Watt station at my high school, what would you recommend for shmucks like me to get into radio and become big-wigs like yourself?” Collins responds laughing and consoling, “You’re not a shmuck and I’m not a big-wig; we ’ re all just the same ” Despite its sarcasm, this moment epitomizes Collins’ character and career He works as the connective tissue between music production and music listeners He bridges the gap between the not-yet-heard and the instant chart-topper The new sounds Collins exposes form alternate modes of communication Collins provides listeners of his station and every other station that follows his lead with melodic methods of transmuting soundless singularity for flowing cohesion When Collins first played Nirvana’s “Nevermind,” he was alone in recognizing it as a hit When the song ended, he played it again Listeners and competing stations quickly sang and rocked along with him Collins broke new songs and built new networks of engagement
The Glamour & The Squalor looks at the way Collins transmits unmapped wavelengths in his profession and as a person Collins championed records and he championed bands and he championed the gay community Along the way, however, Collins struggled to find himself in the mass of atmospheric energy Evans expertly portrays this issue of mediation in Collins life the space between self identity and self acceptance like the chasm between music produc-
tion and platinum success The film’s medium switches from flashback to cartoon narrative to interview The viewer bounces along as if from transmitter antenna to receiver antenna transmitter, receiver, transmitter, receiver This electric travel log strings across Collins’ career and a similar pattern cuts through his personal life Evans beautifully recreates the complexities of living under public scrutiny and private distress His camera angles and his medium pull in opposing directions so that the viewer begins to understand the process behind a finished product Evans lends equal credit to each accomplishment Collin’s critical acclaim and personal victories
Collins’ keen ear has become as fundamental to American rock radio as the formation of the energy wave itself Collins functions as a critical stop along the electric line the junction between static and music He is the fundamental link The Glamour & the Squalor rewinds the track in a way impossible to live radio and restores him to his human form Automobile fanatics sometimes develop that strange habit of naming a car “Baby” or “Herbie” or “Lucky” or whatnot The process of shining the wheels, greasing the brakes, washing the windows and scrutinizing the engine makes the devotee put personality back into the car Collins once worked for a mechanic He describes it as the “butchiest” job he’s ever had But, where Collins sees boredom, the car lover looks into parts and recreates a human character The automobile enthusiast conceives an independent being out of mass produced units In a similar way, Collins anthropomorphizes the radio industry The Glamour & The Squalor shows listeners and viewers a radio D J ’ s human crux on the radio culture map I still can ’ t grasp the electromagnetic spectrum, but I recognize Marco Collins’ crucial, personal contribution
Julia Curley is a freshman in the College of Arts and Sciences She can be reached at jmc628@cornell edu
Julia Curley
Cornell Cinema
Sun Sudoku Puzzle #327
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A trolley car plunges off the Stewart Avenue bridge over Fall Creek in a movie still dating from Ithaca’s early 20th-century days producing silent films as the “Hollywood of the East.”
Red Takes 4th at Yale Invitational
for
By JOSH ZHU Sun Assistant Sports Editor
Ivy
League
Championship Friday in Connecticut
T h e C o r n e l l g o l f t e a m i s f i n d i n g i t s g r o o v e a t t h e
y g e t t
s e d t o h i t t i n g o n t h e g r e e n s a n d f i n d i n g o u r r h y t h m a g a i n , ” s a i d s e n i o r c oc a p t a i n L u k e Gr a b o y e s “ We h a v e a f e w t h i n g s w e
n e e d t o w o r k o n [ b u t ] I t h i n k w e ’ r e i n a g o o d p l a c e
“With the way we’ve been playing We think we can do well at the championships this year.”
J u n i o r M i k e G r a b o y e s
h e a d i n g i n t o t h e Iv y ’ s ”
Gr a b o y e s a n d h i s y o u n g e r b r o t h e r M i k e b o t h s h o t t w o u n d e r - p a r 6 8 s i n t h e s e c o n d r o u n d t o p l a c e i n t h e
t o p - f i v e i n d i v i d u a l l y Gr a b o y e s r e c o r d e d a f i n a l s c o r e
o f f o u r - o v e r 1 4 4 f o r f i f t h p l a c e , w h i l e M i k e r e c o r d e d
a n e v e n m o r e i m p r e s s i v e p a r 1 4 0 f o r s e c o n d p l a c e S o p h o m o r e Ti a n y i C e n p l a c e d 4 4 t h w i t h a 1 3 - o v e r
1 5 3 , a n d f r e s h m a n M i c h a e l M a y r o u n d e d o u t t h e l i n e u p w i t h a 1 9 - o v e r 1 5 9 f o r a 5 7 t h p l a c e f i n i s h No t a b l y, j u n i o r C h r i s t o p h e r Tr o y s h o t a t h r e e - o v e r 7 3 i n t h e f i r s t r o u n d b e f o r e s i t t i n g o u t t o a v o i d a g g r a v a ti n g a n i n j u r e d k n e e “ I w o u l d s a y o u r c o n f i d e n c e i s e s p e c i a l l y h i g h
g i v e n t h e w a y w e p l a y e d t h i s w e e k e n d , ” M i k e Gr a b o y e s s a i d “ O u r t e a m f i n i s h d i d n ’ t r e a l l y r e f l e c t h o w w e ’ v e b e e n p l a y i n g [ b e c a u s e ] C h r i s s a t o u t , b u t w e f e e l r e a l l y g o o d a b o u t h o w w e ’ r e p l a y i n g ” A s w i t h a l l o f t h e t o u r n a m e n t s t h i s s p r i n g , t h e Ya l e I n v i t a t i o n a l o f f e r e d C o r n e l l t h e o p p o r t u n i t y t o c o n -
t i n u e g a i n i n g e x p e r i e n c e h i t t i n g o u t d o o r s a f t e r b u i l di n g u p s o m e r u s t o v e r i t s w i n t e r h i a t u s I n p a r t i c u l a r,
t h e c o u r s e g a v e t h e R e d a c h a n c e t o p u t t o n s o m e l a r g e g r e e n s “ T h e g r e e n s a r e r e a l l y b i g [ a n d ] a l m o s t o u t s i d e
t h i r t y f e e t , ” M i k e s a i d “ Yo u c a n h i t a b a d s e c o n d s h o t o n t h e g r e e n a n d h a v e a 5 0 f o o t p u t t , s o g e t t i n g t h e s p e e d d o w n i s r e a l l y k e y ” T h e I n v i t a t i o n a l a l s o o f f e r e d s o m e p r a c t i c e w i t h
e l e v a t i o n c h a n g e s a n d b u i l d i n g m o r e t r u s t i n h i t t i n g a t y p i c a l s h o t s “ T h e r e ’ s a l o t o f e l e v a t i o n c h a n g e s a n d b l i n d s h o t s
S o m e o f t h e n e w e r g u y s h a d n e v e r p l a y e d t h a t b e f o r e , s o [ i t t a u g h t ] h o w t o t r u s t y o u r s h o t a n d j u s t h i t i t , ”
Gr a b o y e s s a i d W i t h t h e Iv y ’ s l o o m i n g t h i s w e e k e n d , t h e R e d ’ s f o u r t h p l a c e f i n i s h s h o u l d c e r t a i n l y p r o v i d e s o m e
c o n f i d e n c e h e a d i n g i n t o t h e c h a m p i o n s h i p t o u r n am e n t “ T h e Iv y ’ s w i l l b e a s h o r t e r c o u r s e t h a n Ya l e , ”
Gr a b o y e s s a i d “ It’s m o r e o f a m o d e r n g o l f c o u r s e
Finding a groove | After struggling in its first two spring tournaments, the golf team appears to be hitting its stride at the perfect time
w i t h d e e p b u n k e r s , b u t w i t h t h e w a y w e ’ v e b e e n p l a yi n g , w e h a v e t h e c h a n c e t o p u t u p s o m e l o w n u m -
b e r s ” T h e t o u r n a m e n t w i l l t a k e p l a c e a t t h e St a n w i c h
C l u b i n Gr e e n w i c h , C o n n e c t i c u t , a n d t h e R e d w i l l l o o k t o k e e p a s i m p l e m i n d s e t o f s t i c k i n g t o f u n d a -
m e n t a l s h e a d i n g i n t o t h e e v e n t “ T h e k e y t o t h i s c o u r s e i s t o m i s s i n t h e r i g h t s p o t w h e r e y o u h a v e a n u p h i l l s t r a i g h t f o r w a r d s h o t r a t h e r
t h a n o n e o v e r a m o u n d a n d d o w n a s l o p e , ” M i k e s a i d “ It’s r e a l l y j u s t g i v i n g o u r s e l v e s e a s y p u t t s , d e a l i n g w i t h t h e g r e e n s a n d h i t t i n g t h e a p p r o a c h s h o t s [ c o r -
r e c t l y ] w h i c h w i l l h e l p u s d o w e l l ” “ We r e a l l
Women Look to Saturday Contest With Princeton On Schoellkopf
W LACROSSE
Continued from page 16
s i
o t e c t
n g
s t i c k s o n
i t i o n o r f i n i s h i n g o u r s h o t s a r o u n d t h e g o a l i e , w e n e e d e d t o f i n i s h e v e r y p l a y a n d t a k e c a r e o f e v e r y m o m e n t ” D e s p i t e t h e l o s s , C o r n e l l m u s t r e g r o u p a n d p r ep a r e f o r i t s n e x t m a t c h u p a g a i n s t Pr i n c e t o n ( 1 0 - 2 , 4 - 0 ) T h e Ti g e r s h e l d d o w n t h e O r a n g e , 1 6 - 1 1 , e a rl i e r t h i s s e a s o n , s o t h e y w i l l s u r e l y b e a t h r e a t f o r t h e R e d L a s t y e a r, C o r n e l l f e l l t o Pr i n c e t o n i n a c l o s e 8 - 7 l o s s , w h e r e t h e g a m e w a s n e v e r m o r e t h a n a t w op o i n t d i f f e r e n t i a l T h e h e a t e d r e m a t c h b e t w e e n t h e t w o Iv y ’ s w i l l s u r e l y b e s e e n o n S a t u rd a y “ O u r t e a m i s e x c i t e d t o p l a y Pr i n c e t o n , ” Po u l l o t t s a i d “ We k n o w t h e y a r e l o o k i n g t o a v e n g e t h e i r l o s s t o u s l a s t s e a s o n i n t h e Iv y To u r n a m e n t We k n o w t h e y a r e g o i n g t o b e a t o u g h t e a m , a n d I t h i n k w e a r e a l l r e a d y a n d e x c i t e d f o r t h e c o m p e t i t i o n ” Sm i t h f o r e s e e s C o r n e l l a n d Pr i n c e t o n g o i n g a l lo u t i n t h e u p c o m i n g m a t c h u p “ Iv y g a m e s a r e a l w a y s f u n , a n d t h e r e i s a l o t m o r e e m o t i o n p u t i n t o Iv y g a m e s , s o i t w i l l b e a t o u g h b a t t l e , ” Sm i t h s a i d “ Yo u c a n e x p e c t t h e r e t o b e a l o t o f a g g r e s s i v e p l a y s a n d b o t h t e a m s g o i n g 1 1 0 p e r -
“Our team is excited to play Princeton We know they are going to be a tough team, and I think we are all ready.” S
c e n t t h e e n t i r e t i m e ” Pr i n c e t o n c u r r e n t l y b o a s t s a 1 0 - 2 ov e r a l l r e c o rd
c o m p l e m e n t e d w i t h a n u n d e f e a t e d 4 - 0 Iv y r e c o rd
O n e o f t h e s e t w o t o p r a n k e d w o m e n ’ s l a c r o s s e t e a m s w i l l h a v e t o w a l k a w a y w i t h a c o n f e r e n c e l o s s c o m e
S a t u rd a y T h e R e d w i l l h o s t t h e Ti g e r s S a t u rd a y a t 1 p m
o n S c h o e l l k o p f Fi e l d t e a m ’ s d e f e n s e , m e a n w h i l e , i s n o t s o m e t h i n g t o h a n g y o u r h a t o n a n d h a s s o m e g a p i n g h o l e s , g i v i n g u p 1 4 1 3 g o a l s p e r g a m e T h e t e a m h a s s e e n i n a d i p i n o f f e ns i v e p e r f o r m a n c e d u r i n g l e a g u e p l a y, h o w e v e r, o n l y s c o r i n g 1 1 7 5 g o a l s a g a m e , w h i l e p l a y i n g o n l y s l i g h t l y b e t t e r o n d e f e n s e t h a n u s u a l , b u t s t i l l g i v i n g u p a h e f t y 1 3 7 5 g o a l s a g a m e T h e s e n u m b e r s a r e s i m i l a r t o C o r n e l l ’ s o v e r a l l t r e n d s , w h i c h a v e r a g e s 1 0 8 g o a l s p e r g a m e
Red Hopes to Move Into 3rd Place in Ivy League with Victory at Brown
M LACROSSE
Continued from page 16
a n d g i v e s u p 1 3 4
“That’s always a goal for us, to play well and win that Ivy League tournament and then continue to play after that ”
H e a d C o a c h M a t t K e r w i c k
B u t r e c e n t p e r f o r m a n c e s s h o w a n o t i c e a b l e c h a n g e i n t h e R e d ’ s t r a j e c t or y D u r i n g t h e f i v e - g a m e s l i d e t o o p e n t h e s e a s o n , C o r n e l l g a v e u p a n a v e r a g e o f 1 7 8 g o a l s p e r g a m e a n d a v e r a g e d o n l y 1 0 g o a l s , d e s p i t e a n 1 8 - g o a l p e rf o r m a n c e d u r i n g a n o v e r t i m e e f f o r t a g a i n s t V i r g i n i a I n t h e s i x g a m e s s i n c e t h e n , t h e R e d h a s a v e r a g e d 1 2 3 g o a l s w h i l e g i v i n g u p j u s t 9 3 p e r g a m e F o r K e r w i c k , i t i s a t h i n g o f b e a u t y t o s e e w h e r e t h i s t e a m i s g o i n g “ We h a v e a v e r y y o u n g g r o u p i n t h a t l o c k e r r o o m r i g h t n o w, a n d t h e y j u s t k e e p g e t t i n g b e t t e r, a n d t h e y ' r e b e l i e vi n g i n e a c h o t h e r, ” h e s a i d “ T h e y ' r e
w o r k i n g r e a l l y h a r d a t i t , a n d t h a t ' s a l l w e c a n d o ” K e r w i c k a d m i t t e d t h a t t h e s e a s o n h a s n o t g o n e t h e w a y a n y o n e w o u l d h a v e l i k e d i t t o , b u t t h a t h i s y o u n g , t e n a c i o u s t e a m h a s t o k e e p o n p u s h i n g “ O b v i o u s l y w e ' r e n o t w h e r e w e w a n t t o b e r i g h t n o w, b u t y o u c a n ' t l o o k i n
t h e r e a r v i e w, y o u ' v e g o t t o k e e p m o vi n g f o r w a r d , a n d i t ' s a b o u t t h e n e x t p l a y, t h e n e x t g a m e , t h e n e x t p r a c t i c e , a n d t h e y ' v e d o n e a r e a l l y g o o d j o b , ” h e a d d e d T h e t e a m w i l l h a v e t o o v e r c o m e i t s s u b p a r r o a d r e c o r d t h i s w e e k e n d
C o r n e l l i s j u s t 1 - 4 a w a y f r o m h o m e
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“ It ’ s a b o u t 3 - 2 r i g h t n o w, w e w a n t t o g e t t h e n e x t o n e , t h a t ' s a l l w e c a r e a b o u t , ” K e r w i c k s a i d “ H a v i n g a g r e a t , p r o d u c t i v e w e e k o f p r a c t i c e , g o i n g d o w n t o Pr o v i d e n c e a n d p l a y i n g o u r b e s t g a m e o f t h e s e a s o n , a n d w e ’ l l s e e a f t e r t h a t w i t h Pr i n c e t o n c o m i n g h e r e ” W i t h t h e r e g u l a r s e a s o n c o m i n g t o a q u i c k c l o s e , t h e t e a m h o p e s t h a t S a t u r d a y ’ s g a m e w i l l b r i n g s o m e m o m e n t u m f o r a l a t e p o s t - s e a s o n p u s h “ [ I f ] w e e n d u p 4 -
Jamil Rahman can be reached at jrahman@cornellsun com
W O M E N ’ S L A C R O S S E
Spor ts
No. 7 Syracuse Tops Red With Strong 2nd Half
By TOBENNA ATTAH Sun Staff Writer
T h e C o r n e l l w o m e n ’ s l a c ro s s e t e a m p l a ye d a h a rd -
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s a i d “ Sy r a c u s e p l a y s ve r y s i m i l a r ye a r t o ye a r, s o o u r d e f e n s e w a s a l s o a b l e t o m a k e b i g s t o p s w h e n we we re i n o u r zo n e ” L i m i t i n g Sy r a c u s e t o f i ve g o a l s i n t h e f i r s t h a l f w a s n o e a s y t a s k , b u t t h e C o r n e l l s q u a d m a n a g e d t o re p l i c a t e i t s m a g i c f ro m t h e 2 0 1 6 s e a s o n T h e t e a m e ve n s h owe d
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t h e i r d e f e n s e e a r l y o n a n d g e t t i n g t h e m b a c k o n t h e i r h e e l s We k n e w h ow f a s t t h e y w o u l d b e i n t h e m i d f i e l d a n d o n t h e i r a t t a c k i n g s i d e o f t h e b a l l t h e i r g o t o p l a y -
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A f t e r t h e i n t e r m i s s i o n , t h e Or a n g e t r u l y f o u n d i t s s t r i d e i n p i c k i n g a p a r t t h e Re d d e f e n s e In t h e o p e n i n g m o m e n t s o f t h e s e c o n d h a l f, s e n i o r De vo n Pa rk e r g a ve t h e Or a n g e i t s f i r s t l e a d o f t h e g a m e by n o t c h i n g a g o a l i n u n d e r 4 0 s e c o n d s “ Sy r a c u s e c a m e o u t s t ro n g o n t h e d r a w t o s t a r t t h e s e c o n d h a l f, ” h e a d c o a c h Je n n y Gr a a p ‘ 8 6 s a i d “ T h e y we re a b l e t o p u t a f e w g o a l s o n t h e b o a rd e a r l y w h i c h
g a ve t h e m s o m e m o m e n t u m ” T h e l e a d w a s q u i c k l y e r a s e d , h owe ve r, w h e n Ph i l l i p s re t u r n e d t h e f a vo r w i t h a n o t h e r g o a l , b u t t h i s w a s t h e l a s t t i m e t h e Re d w o u l d k e e p Sy r a c u s e i n i t s s i g h t s T h e Or a n g e b e g a n t o
By JAMIL RAHMAN
Assistant Sports Editor
y l o s s t o t h e No 1 t e a m i n t h e c o u n t r y i n Sy r a c u s e Now, t h e Re d ( 4 - 7 , 2 - 2 Iv y ) f i n d s i t s e l f t i e d f o r t h i rd p l a c e i n t h e Iv y L e a g u e , s i t t i n g o n l y o n e g a m e b e h i n d Pr i n c e t o n f o r s e co n d p l a c e T h e t i e f o r t h i rd w i l l b e b ro k e n t h i s we e k e n d , a s t h e t e a m h i t s t h e ro a d f o r t h e f i n a l t i m e d u r i n g t h e re g u l a r s e a s o n w h e n i t h e a d s t o Prov i d e n c e t o t a k e o n d e f e n d i n g l e a g u e - c h a mp i o n Brow n ( 5 - 5 , 2 - 2 ) L a s t ye a r, Brow n c a m e i n t o It h a c a a n d t h r a s h e d C o r n e l l 2 25 i n t h e Re d’s f i n a l h o m e g a m e o f t h e s e a s o n C o r n e l l w i l l b e l o o k i n g t o g i ve Brow n a t a s t e o f i t s ow n m e d i c i n e h e a d i n g i n t o Brow n ’ s f i n a l h o m e g a m e o f t h i s s e a s o n
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BY NONE OF YOUR BEESWAX Sun Bug Writer
SPORTS?
If you are interested in earning the sought-out business minor, you better brush off your grandfather’s old putter
On Wednesday, the University announced a curriculum change to the popular undergraduate minor, naming PE 1320, Professional Instructional Golf, a required class for the minor
“As a University, we look to teach our students the most applicable, necessary skills that would serve them best in their respective careers, ” said Liger Woods, a University spokesperson and totally not a pro golfer “For students interested in pursuing a career in business, golf is by far more useful than, say, Microeconomic Theory ”
Though a breaking of the norm for what has come to be standard curriculum for an undergraduate program, the business minor is certainly not alone in its decision Just recently, The School of Hotel Administration announced it would be installing HADM 4201: Intro to Schmoozing as a required class for freshmen
“We are pushing the bounds of what it means to be a Cornellian.”
That decision, though controversial at its inception, has been widely regarded as a “strategically brilliant” move by students
“At first, it seemed like I would just go back to working as a caddy at my local country club,” said Chad Thomas ’19, a student in the SHA, about his upcoming summer “But now, thanks to HADM 4201, the skills I learned landed me a job doing marketing for Vineyard Vines It’s lit!”
In order to fulfill the class requirement for the business minor, students must hit a par on every hole on the Robert Trent Jones Course, Cornell’s very own course Failure to do so would force one to retake the course
That is, unless you ’ ve taken HADM 4201
“Oh yeah, I went three over on every hole, but that schmoozing class really bailed me out, ” Thomas added
But the recent move has not been without its criticism Members of the University have called the new curriculum change out for its potentially damning impacts on the Cornell varsity golf program
“If so many people are out playing golf now, how the hell are people going to know that I’m a Division I ath-
lete not them?” asked golf’s team captain Jordan Johnson “I earned the right to do this, no one else ”
While it is still to be seen what the true impacts of this seismic change will be, the University is nowhere near done in testing the waters of being a University that prides itself on ‘Any Person, Any Study ’
“We still have some ideas we ’ re sitting on Pre-vets might have to protect a bird’s nest like it was their own, ” Woods said “We are pushing the bounds of what it means to be a Cornellian ”
FOREEEEEEEEEE! can be reached parthreeforme@cornellsun com
Cornell 1st in NCAA to Launch Varsity Beer Pong Team
School looks for team to raise overall C.U. spirit
Thought Cornell hated greek life?
Think again
On Monday, to the delight of the several hundred frat bros, beer pong was named an official NCAA Division I sport, and Cornell became the first to form its team
“Here at Cornell, we ’ re always trying to increase school spirit,” said a statement from the Athletic Department.
“We’ve decided that adding such an accessible sport as beer pong to our University will surely attract scores of fans to cheer on the Big Red ” With over 30 fraternities for every-
“I’m tired of destroying freshman at our open parties … I want to crush some Ohio State posers ”
S t a t l e r K l a r m a n
one and 10 plus sororities to choose from, Cornell believes its talent pool will quickly propel the program to national stardom
“We are kind of a state school, after all,” said Ciroc Daddy, a junior in Rho
Rho Rho (your boat) “My dad would buy me and my friend starting in seventh gra pretty well-practiced ”
Daddy is not alone confidence Others se new team as a chanc finally put their skill u
m glory
“I mean I’ve always pretty good at pong, a how competitive can
Klarman “I’m tired of destroying freshm
parties … I want to
State posers
Keystone Ice, the bar w set quite
“We’re only looking for recruits who stay on a table for at least 30 minutes at each party.”
