04 07 15 entire issue lo res

The Corne¬ Daily Sun

By DAVID TICZON

The Student Assembly Financial Aid Revie w Committee has partnered with the College of Arts and Sciences Career Services to fund “Summer Experience Grants” for students in the College of Arts and Sciences and College of Art, Architecture and Planning Freshmen, sophomores and juniors will be eligible to apply for the grants that offer monetary support for “unpaid or minimally-paid” internships, according to an email sent by Arts and Sciences Career Services

The source of the grant is a program established by the Student Assembly in 1985, called “Students Helping Students,” according to Joseph Fateh ’15, a member of the

S A Financial Aid Review Committee

The original purpose of the program was to “aid students with both emergency and unpaid internships,” Fateh said “There is no documentation that supports whether the latter was ever put into practice, so we wanted the fund to

live up to its name and original objective ” Fateh said that in the process of reviewing applications, the amount of financial aid offered to a student is reviewed

State Lawmakers Discuss Revoking C.U. Funding Following Video

By ANDREW LORD Sun Staff Writer

Republican state lawmakers have issued statements saying they believe federal and state funding should be pulled from Cornell after the release of a video that purports Joseph Scaffido, assistant dean of students for student activities, said he would welcome terrorist groups onto Cornell’s campus In the video, which was released March 24, an undercover interviewer from James O’Keefe’s Project Veritas asked Scaffido whether Cornell would be willing to send

“It’s

humanitarian packages to “freedom fighters ” and “people in the Islamic State Iraq and Syria ” In response, the video shows Scaffido saying, “ There are a lot of our student o r g a n i z a t i o n s that do things like that all over the world ”

be taken against the University in response to the video

just plain wrong. This is the lowest the New York state Republicans have ever gone ”

Barbara Lifton

New York State Assemblymember Chris Friend (R-124th) said he wants to discuss any “punitive measures ” that can

“I am calling on the D e p a r t m e n t of Homeland Security to begin a fullscale investigation into C o r n e l l University, and ensure that no criminal wrongdoing is being perpetrated there,” Friend said in a statement “Cornell is a major employer, educator and policy dri-

By PAULINA GLASS Sun Assistant News Editor

e a ve C o r n e l l t o b e c o m e a f a c u l t y m e m b e r a t H a r v a r d Un i v e r s i t y Ju l y 1 , w h e r e h e w i l l b e b o t h t h e L a u re n c e D Be l f e r Pro f e s s o r o f In t e r n a t i o n a l A f f a i r s a t t h e Jo h n

F K e n n e d y S c h o o l o f

Gove

r n m e n t a n d a p ro f e s s o r o f h i s t o r y, a c c o r d i n g t o t h e

ver in the Southern Tier, and I assure you, no one in the Southern Tier wants Hamas activity this close to their homes ” According to Friend, measures may include “eliminating the $156 million Cornell is slated to receive in state funding ” Assemblymember Brian Kolb (R131st) echoed Friend’s sentiments in a March 25 post on his Facebook page, saying he believed in revoking funding until Scaffido leaves the University, if the video accurately expressed his beliefs

Un i ve r s i t y L o g e va l l h a s s e r ve d a s v i c e p rovo s t a t C o r n e l l s i n c e 2 0 1 3 a n d h a s b e e n a t C o r n e l l s i n c e 2 0 0 4

In a d d i t i o n t o h e r c u r re n t ro l e a s d e a n f o r i n t e r n a t i o n a l a f f a i r s , Sp i t z i s a l s o e xe c u t i ve

d i re c t o r o f t h e C l a rk e C e n t e r f o r

In t e r n a t i o n a l a n d C o m p a r a t i ve L e g a l St u d i e s Sh e w i l l s t i l l b e s e r v i n g i n h e r ro l e s a t t h e L a w S c h o o l w h i l e w o rk i n g a s i n t e r i m v i c e p rovo s t , a c c o rd i n g t o t h e Un i ve r s i t y L o g e va l l s a i d h e “ c o u l d n ’ t b e m o re p l e a s e d” w i t h Sp i t z b e i n g t a p p e d f o r h i s p o s i t i o n “ L a u r a Sp i t z w i l l b e a t re m e n d o u s l e a d e r o f t h e i n t e rn a t i o n a l i z a t i o n e f f o r t a t C o r n e l l Sh e ’ s b e e n a m a i n s t a y o n t h e I n t e r n a t i o n a l i z a t i o n

New Cornellian-Founded Application Seeks to Improve Dining Experience

By DIVYANSHA SEHGAL Sun Staff Writer

FillMyFork, a mobile application co-created by a Cornell alumnus that gives food recommendations for campus eateries, will launch Wednesday

The application will be made available to students at Cornell, University of California, Berkeley and University of California, Los Angeles for iOS devices, according to Kartik Shastri ’12 M Eng ’13, co-founder of FillMyFork

An Android version will be released in the fall

Shastri said FillMyFork is the “only food app ” students will need on campus

“ We believe that food at college should be social, delicious and cater to ever y student's preferences,” he said “Cornell food especially is delicious, and with our app you can find the best of the best and get your friends in on the action ”

According to Prof Tom Brenna, nutritional sciences, a scientific advisor for the app, FillMyFork will “filter out ” the meals that are not on a student’s personal menu

“It’s a sort of Yelp for dining halls in that it tabulates meal ratings, so [you] have a rating of meals being ser ved now, ” he said “It can [also] be filtered to show only ratings by people with your [own dietar y] preferences ”

Other features of the application include a social media feature, where students can automatically inform their friends that they are going to a “particular dining venue, ” Brenna said

Brenna said he believes the application will be especially useful to students who may have dietar y restrictions

“[It will] assist people in seeing what's ser ved in the dining halls according to their dietar y preferences and

University

d i n g t o a U S TA p r e s s r e l e a s e T h e a n n u a l a w a r d a c k n ow l e d g e s a c o l l e g e o r u n ive r s i t y c l u b t e n n i s t e a m w i t h a h i s t o r y o f e xc e l l e n c e a n d c o mm u n i t y s e r v i c e A s p a r t o f t h e a w a rd , C o r n e l l’s t e a m w i l l p a rt i c i p a t e i n t h e 2 0 1 5 Te n n i s o n

C a m p u s Na t i o n a l C h a mp i o n s h i p t h i s T h u r s d a y t o S a t u r d a y, a c c o r d i n g t o t h e re l e a s e

W e i l l C o r n e l l M e d i c a l C o l l e g e

B e l f e r R e s e a r c h

B u i l d i n g C e r t i f i e d L E E D G o l d

T h e U S Gr e e n B u i l d i n g

C o u n c i l a w a rd e d We i l l C o r n e l l Me d i c a l C o l l e g e ’ s B e l f e r

R e s e a r c h B u i l d i n g a L E E D

Go l d c e r t i f i c a t i o n , a c c o rd i n g t o t h e Un i ve r s i t y T h e b u i l d i n g i s t h e s e c o n d l a b o r a t o r y b u i l d i n g i n Ne w Yo rk C i t y t o a c h i e ve

L E E D Go l d d i s t i n c t i o n , w h i c h re c o g n i ze s s u s t a i n a b l e b u i l d i n g d e

allergies,” he said

Shastri said he and co-founder Arun Nijhawan a 2013 graduate of the University of Toronto have worked together to develop and fundraise for the app

“Arun and I grew up together in Boston, so we ' ve been buddies for a long time,” he said “ We got into Draper Incubators in San Francisco to start and raised money at a Shark Tank event in Boston We incorporated in March 2014 and after a year we ' re thrilled to see the app live

Shastri added that the whole process, from conception to launch, has required much effort

“ We actually started targeting the fitness industr y, ” he said “ While testing our app, we saw that college students were the most excited and also most overlooked So we launched a beta [version] at Cornell [last] December and got over 300 signups in a day That's when we decided to help campuses first ”

Brenna said the application opens up “ many opportunities for current students [and even] Cornell Dining ”

“Cornell Dining was exploring FillMyFork as an app for informing on allergens and I think that is a part of this week's release,” he said “For current students, the company is offering the opportunity to participate in an early stage live marketing experience connected to their launch of FillMyFork this week on the iPhone ”

With regards to the future of the application, Shastri said he and his team will spend the summer improving FillMyFork and bringing it to more college campuses

“If you download the app and aren ' t on one of our three campuses, you can tell us to come to your campus we'll be adding these campuses first,” he said “Lots of colleges are waiting for a solution like this, we ' re on a mission to help them out ”

Shastri said he hopes that in the coming weeks, ever y student at Cornell will hear about FillMyFork “ Whether it's reviews or nutrition, most apps ignore campus food and we want to solve that,” he said “Our mission is to revolutionize campus food so we hope students enjoy the app ”

Divyansha Sehgal can be reached at

Startup Support Program to Launch This Summer

By GABRIELLA LEE Sun News Editor

Life Changing Labs, an organization supporting entrepreneurial efforts of Cornell students, will launch a “Summer Startup Incubator Program” that will run for eight w e e k s t h i s s u m m e r, a c c o rd i n g t o t h e

University

“ There was no structured way for student founders to work on their own startups [during the summer],” said Michael Raspuzzi ’16, president of Life Changing Labs “ With that being seen as a problem from last summer, the Life Changing Labs team has been working for the past year to make this summer as integrated a program as possible ” Life Changing Labs will be looking for six to eight teams of alumni or student-based startup businesses and will offer mentorship

“

and “much needed” resources, according to Raspuzzi

“ They’ll receive mentorship, one-on-one advice and there will also be weekly guest speakers [from] experienced entrepreneurs, ” Raspuzzi said

He added the program would provide support based on the individual needs of the teams, with

“I

e teams] on a case by case basis

”

Additionally, the program will require the teams to meet together once a week and provide updates on their startups an idea

styled after Y Combinator, a seed accelerator, Raspuzzi said

According to Peter Cortle, founder and director of Life Changing Labs, the “goals of the summer program include fostering a strong community and network of Corenll student and alumni entrepreneurs ” He added that Life Changing Labs was

d” and aimed for each startup to achieve a five to seven percent weekly growth rate

According to the Life Changing Labs

through partnerships with Google Cloud, Amazon Web Ser vices, Microsoft Bizspark, GitHub and Braintree

Life Changing Labs also receives support f

Cornell-wide program that aims to promote entrepreneurial spirit

T

already generated interest from many parties, according to Raspuzzi He said Life Changing Labs will welcome teams from multiple stages in the startup process

“ We already have a lot of interest and applications, both from individuals and team companies who are looking to develop their program, ” he said

Raspuzzi added that he believes the incubator program would be a “ great opportunity ” for anyone who has any interest in getting involved in entrepreneurship at Cornell “ There are a lot of ver y rich opportunities made available through this summer incubator, ” he said

The submission deadline for applications to the incubator program is Friday

Stephanie Yan contributed reporting to this stor y

Gabriella Lee can be reached at glee@cornellsun com

Laura Spitz to Serve as Interim Vice Provost

able for the position “A foreign national herself, she is sensitive to cultural difference, while at the same time she has a broad understanding of t h i s u n i ve r s i t y a n d i t s s t r u ctures, ” he said Interim Provost Harr y Katz also expressed excitement over

the appointment of Spitz to the position “Laura’s expertise in international affairs will bring v a l u a b l e i n s i g h t and energy to our efforts,” Katz said i n a Un i v e r s i t y release

“[Spitz]

scholarship and commitment to international affairs

“ We a r e fortunate to

P r e s i d e n t David Skorton praised Spitz’s

important to Cornell’s future,” Skorton said in the release Katz, Skorton, Logevall and Pr e s i d e n t - E l e c t E l i z a b e t h Garrett unanimously said they believed a commitment to globalizing Cornell perspectives and education is vital to University growth, according to the release “Cornell’s profile as a global university, expanding internat i o n a l l y i n i t s

s a n d c

p e t e n c y, i s strong, ” Katz said “ The advisor y councils and task forces, as well as the work of so many others throughout our campuses, will continue to build upon this vision ” Garrett has been recognized for her dedication to g l o b a l i z i n g u n i v e r s i t i e s , according to the University She said she will make further development of international programs a priority when she ser ves as president

“Cornell is already deeply engaged as a global university, which is reflected in our teaching, research and creative work, as well as by our many international students, researchers, faculty and alumni,” she said in the release Garrett added that that she wants to tangibly expand C o r n e l l’s i n f l u e n c e a b ro a d , a n d d e t a i l e d s o m e o f t h e steps she said she would take to achieve this goal, according to the University

“I am committed to working with my colleagues to increase the number of intern a t i o n a l s t u d e n t s o n o u r c a m p u s e s ; t o e x p a n d o u r influence through innovative p r o f e s s i o n a l g r a d u a t e p r ograms, some delivered online, around the world; to give all o f o u r s t u d e n t s a c c e s s t o m e a n i n g f u l s t u d y - a b r o a d experiences; and to continue d e v e l o p i n g s t r o n g p a r t n e rships with other top research u n i v e r s i t i e s a r o u n d t h e world,” she said

Paulina Glass can be reached at pglass@cornellsun

Republican Lawmakers

Cutting C.U. State Funds

LAWMAKERS Continued from page 1

“If these reports accurately reflect the mindset of this facult y m e m b e r a n d C o r n e l l Un i v e r s i

St

should immediately withold all state funding until this individual is no longer on campus, ” he said “ Taxpayers should not be asked to subsidize institutions t h

actions of her Republican col-

ridiculous

“ This is one of the most absurd and outrageous things I’ve seen, ” Lifton said “ These

selves to well-known, nefarious

their own reputations at risk

Lifton said Project Veritas is full of “right-winged operatives” that are known to set up “phony stings ” “[ These people] are political

operations against their counter-

Pre

n t Skorton did a great job responding in his statement making ver y clear as we all know that Cornell students will do nothing to support terrorism ” In a March 25 statement, President David Skor ton said t h e v i d e o w a s a “ s h a m e f u l” attempt to “ smear ” the image of the University, and the idea that Cornell would support a terrorist group such as ISIS or Hamas is “absolutely offensive ”

The efforts to cut funding are not limited to Friend and a few of his colleagues, according to Lifton The issue has prompted Edward Cox, chair of the New York State Republican party, to send out “fundraising letters” in order to garner support for the initiative for potential measures taken against Cornell, she said Lifton said she is “suspicious” that the journalists at Project Veritas and Republican leaders i n t h e Ne w Yo r k St a t e

nated” the operation

“It just looks like the whole thing got coordinated,” she said “It’s like they had [someone] go in [to Scaffido’s office], get the tape, send it to the New York Post and then have Cox raise money off of it ” Lifton expressed disappointment in lawmakers pursuing the initiative

“It’s just plain wrong, ” Lifton said “ This is the lowest the New York state Republicans have ever gone ”

Andrew Lord can be reached at dlord@cornellsun com

Summer Internship Grants to Help Arts, Architecture Students

Up to $50,000 total to be offered in funding

Continued from page 1

o n a c a s e - by - c a s e b a s i s “ We p l a c e t h e g re a t e s t we i g h t o n a r t i c u l a t i o n o f c a

“ T h e g r a n t w o n ’ t b e e n o u g h t o c ove r t h e s u m m e r s a v i n g s f o r s t u d e n t s o n f i n a n c i a l a i d a n d i t w o n ' t s e r ve a s a s t i p e n d , b u

M a t t

e r s o n

, S A v i c e p r e s i d e n t f o r i n t e r n a l o p e r at i o n s , s a i d h e e s t i m a t e s t h a t i t w i l l b e i n t h e “ r a n g e o f 2 0 t o 3 0 s t ud e n t s ” “ It’s t o u g h t o e s t i m a t e t h e n u m b e r o f g r a n t re c i p i e n t s s i n c e

“We were motivated to create something like this because of the belief that no one should have to sacrifice their career goals because of their financial situation ”

M a t t h e w H e n d e r s o n ’ 1

t h e a l l o c a t i o n i s b a s e d o n c a n d id a t e s ’ s p e c i f i c e x p e n s e s , a s o p p o s e d t o b e i n g a f i xe d g r a n t a m o u n t , ” He n d e r s o n s a i d T h e m a x i m u m a m o u n t a l l o tt e d t o a s i n g l e s t u d e n t w i l l b e $ 3 , 0 0 0 Up t o $ 5 0 , 0 0 0 i n t o t a l w i l l b e a w a rd e d , a c c o rd i n g t o Gr e t c h e n Ry a n ’ 9 7 , a s s o c i a t e d i re c t o r o f f i n a n c i a l a i d f o r c u st o m e r s e r v i c e a n d c o m m u n i t y re l a t i o n s “ We t r i e d t o e n v i s i o n w h a t t h e w o r s t c a s e s c e n a r i o c o u l d b e i n t e r m s o f t h e e x p e n s e s s o m eo n e c a n a c c r u e ove r t h e s u mm e r, ” He n d e r s o n s a i d Ac c o rd i n g t o He n d e r s o n , t h e g r a n t i s n o t a s t i p e n d , b u t r a t h e r a m e a n s t o e n c o u r a g e s t u d e n t s t o n o t c h o o s e i n t e r n s h i p s b a s e d o n p ro s p e c t i ve p a y

e b e i n g o f f e re d , s o we w a n t e d t o s t a r t w i t h o n l y a c o u p l e o f c o l l e g e s t o s e e i f t h e re w a s i n t e re s t i n a p p l y i n g f o r t h e s e g r a n t s , ” R a m k u m a r s a i d “ We a l s o f e l t t h a t t h e s e we re t h e c o l l e g e s t h a t h a d t h e m o s t s t u d e n t s re c e i v i n g u n p a i d i n t e r n s h i p s t h a t we re o f g re a t f i n a n c i a l b u rd e n ” He n d e r s o n s a i d h e h o p e s t h e p ro g r a m w i l l e x p a n d t o a l l ow a l l s t u d e n t

David Ticzon can be reached at dticzon@cornellsun com

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Student Fashion Spotlight

NATALIE TSAY Blogs Editor

Senior designer Brandon Wen ’15 got his start in fashion by designing costumes for a middle school play Perhaps this is a beginning shared by many others, but his story is pretty atypical After he got involved in sewing classes and fashion in general, he discovered that he had a strong interest in more experimental design His work appears to be as much art as it is fashion, and when it comes down to the ideas behind the abstraction, Wen has a very clear sense of purpose

results, though, convinced him that looking to plus-sized women to create his work would be a worthwhile and fascinating effort In the time that has passed since his sophomore year, Wen has turned what started out as a mere interest into a real, conscious process, contextualizing his ideas and creating some truly intriguing projects

When asked about his approach to working on a piece, he described it as an ‘applied arts ’ technique He strives to create a physical representation of what he’s thinking, then turn it into a physical surface When talking to Wen about his work, it is clear that he has a very strong vision and that he knows exactly how to transform this vision into a tangible product

Oftentimes, Wen’s goal is “redefining what we know and what we do ” To create his pieces, he looks outside the world of fashion He tries to find things that are pure things “ not too clouded by culture or bias ” Last year, his subject was the body, and this year it will be fears “I try to find things that are malleable and especially related to form and shape,” Wen said, “because that’s what I’m trying to redefine about fashion ”

You might have noticed by now that Wen is setting out to make some big changes to the way society views fashion and beauty It wasn ’ t until his sophomore year at Cornell that Wen realized that he wanted to focus his attention on plus-sized women in specific “We did a project in my project development class,” he said, “and the project that I did was based on mass-producing clothing for plus-sized bodies ” His project was well received and even got some unexpected attention from the press, proving that his work centering on plus-sized women is interesting to both him and society at large

“Sometimes when you do niche things, you can ’ t tell who will be interested,” Wen said about the project The

but I did get a closer look at Wen in working mode

My experience in that rehearsal confirmed what I already knew Brandon Wen knows exactly what he’s looking for

According to Wen, Cornell has given him the license and atmosphere to develop his own eccentric style “I like that they give us a lot of freedom in terms of what we can do because it’s not so much of a set program, ” he said “Some people, in their last year, will not end up being in fashion design they might end up doing costuming or photography There’s lots of room to figure out what you like about fashion ” In addition to providing this sense of free rein, Cornell has also shaped Wen’s thought process by being, for lack of a better expression, in the middle of nowhere “It has taught me a lot about independent thinking in a place where you are a bit removed from fashion, not only the industry but other people in fashion,” he said “You are forced to make design decisions based only on your own thoughts It’s a nice bubble to create in You can work at your own pace ” A

walk-through

re h e a r s a l , i n which I part i c i p a t e d by W e n ’ s re q u e s t He was trying to decide on formations, and to do so, he had us try a few different p a t t e r n s I can ’ t say that I gained any s i g n

Death Cab for Cutie, one the founding bands of the indie rock genre, released their eghth studio EP entitled Kintsugi last Tuesday Its title refers to a Japanese art form in which broken pieces of ceramic are assembled in a novel, artistic ways The album is a similar art piece, collecting elements from Death Cab’s previous endeavors and combining them to create a cohesive sound Conceptually, the album reveals cracks in relationships, faults in feelings and reconciliation with loss Lead singer and lyricist, Benjamin Gibbard, crafts narratives around these themes, once again, demonstrating his immense talent for poetic craft Musically, the album is polished and melodic Kintsugi works as a milestone for Death Cab for Cutie, marking the end of the band’s career with founding guitarist and producer, Chris Walla, but also revealing their musical resilience over time Despite describing feelings of being broken, the album is really about reassembling and reassessing life after loss

Part of what makes Death Cab for Cutie a consistently impressive collective is Gibbard’s ability to construct lyrical stories Each song has its own narrative arc, describing specific experiences and giving the songs meaning beyond vague, arbitrary conventions Gibbard reimagines and individualizes love songs “Little

when it comes to presenting his work and how he can do so in the most effective and aesthetically appealing way

Because Wen is a senior, I asked a question that every student in their last year of undergraduate study has probably been asked time and time again: Where would you like to go from here?

“I would like to try to find where in the world I can continue doing this kind of weird, experimental garment art thing,” he said Though he acknowledged that it might be in the U S , he said he’s looking more toward Asia or Europe Wen wants to find where his kind of work would fit into the context of a country ’ s design field and culture before making the choice of where to attend grad school to further hone his craft

At the end of the interview, I gave Wen a create-yourown-question question, and his response was a pleasant surprise

“Question for the general public,” he said “I want to know how the work is received For those of you who will see the show, I want to know what it is in your eyes, or what connections [you] make from it Part of my work is trying to make everything void of references so you ’ re only judging it based on what you see and nothing outside ” He asked for all feedback be directed to baw226@cornell edu

Tickets for the Cor nell Fashion Collective’s Annual Runway Show are still available online or from Collective members The show will be held this Saturday April 11 at 8 p m in Barton Hall

Natalie Tsay is a freshman in the College of Arts and Sciences She can be reached at ntsay@cornellsun com

Wanderer” is a prime example of this: Gibbard describes a modern long distance relationship with specific locales and modes of communication He includes images of Tokyo and Paris, as well as creates an image of two lovers meeting at an airport baggage claim The band proceeds from this track with the darker number, “You’ve Haunted Me All My Life ” Gibbard creates a different relationship in these next four minutes, yet we hear residual lines of longing and loss

Every Death Cab for Cutie album has a simple acoustic track, and this album is no exception For Kintsugi, the track that fills this void is “Hold No Guns,” which describes an individual’s longing for his lover to remain despite fears of abandonment and emotional pain Gibbard’s soothing voice against his simple acoustic picking resembles “ Talking Bird” from 2008’s Narrow Stairs and, arguably the band’s most popular track, “I Will Follow You Into the Dark” from 2005’s Plans It is simple yet effective, and offers a mid-album break for reflection

The album has some especially catchy, upbeat tracks resembling the Death Cab’s sixth studio album, Narrow Stairs The album’s third track, “The Ghosts of Beverly Drive” also possesses these qualities It’s fast-paced with mostly major chords, but the band includes intriguing

elements that give it life The song features momentary toy piano lines in the pre-chorus, as well as eerie “oohs” that intermittently appear Similarly, “Good Help (Is So Hard To Find)” has a simple chord progression and quick rhythmic structure, but it keeps with the album’s concept Gibbard recounts an individual’s socioeconomic ascension and the subsequent emptiness that ensues He repeats the line “Only a fool gives it away ” over ironically major chords, using the song as a façade for a much darker idea of deception and denial

This album is an interesting hybrid of Death Cab for Cutie’s old and upcoming sounds It remains cohesive despite reconciling brokenness Though guitarist, Chris Walla, still plays on the album, the songs battle with his loss both musically and lyrically It poses an interesting question about the fate of the band, as they have yet to create an album without Walla’s integral involvement Kintsugi is the first step towards this challenge and only time will tell how the band develops after his departure As of now, Kintsugi is a critical album in the band’s history and one that offers positive prospects for them

Anita Alur is a sophomore in the College of Arts and Sciences She can be reached at aalur@cornellsun com

Wild Tales,You Make My Heart Sing

Ordinarily, I believe movie reviews are supposed to follow some sort of traditional structure

But since Wild Tales is unlike any film I have ever seen, I am going to review it in a different manner, hopefully one that is reflective of the film itself

I settled into the theater and on comes a scene of a woman at an airport Then we get the traditional expository dialogue Establishing the place, time, location, backstory, et cetera, et cetera, the way most movies condense a textbook’s worth of information into an unnecessary dialogue scene, purely to give the audience information Even though I did not realize it, I was grumbling inside Was this going to be another boring exercise in shots of people talking? Just another critical darling with the same tired camera angles? Something that had no business being a film, could have been a stage play and was actually excruciatingly boring?

Wild Tales

Here are a few things that happen in this flick: An aircraft filled with people becomes a panic site when everyone on board realizes they know the pilot; Two waitresses argue whether to put rat poison in a fearsome customer ’ s food; A man tired of having his car towed decides to do something criminal to the DMV; Two men experience unbelievable road rage involving defecation, strangulation and combustion; A bride finds out her groom has cheated on her and what ensues is the most memorable wedding reception in cinema history

Directed by Damián Szifron

Starring Ricardo Darín, Oscar Martínez, Érica Rivas

No Not by a long shot There was soon a ludicrously sharp left turn and I realized I was watching the Pulp Fiction of foreign art films

The plot can only be described as nitroglycerin

The camera angles are deliberately conceived and ridiculously stylish The film is a crooked anthology and a golden import from Argentina It is directed and written by Damián Szifron, whose filmography I plan to binge watch directly after writing this sentence On the strength of this movie alone, I would say he is both a radical and a master There s a very, very good reason why it s called Wild Tales It lives up to that name and more

The film seems to cruise on a wave of enthralling mania I was electrified in my chair, the movie junkie in me went nuts, and for two hours I was treated to a rush of pure adrenaline that reminded me why I love movies: You aren ’ t supposed to be able to tell what’s coming next! In most films critically lauded and the Hollywood monstrosities alike you can spot the plot points a thousand miles away Wild Tales’ foremost weapon is it’s sheer unpredictability, a force many filmmakers have long ago forgotten Future directors, pay attention: This is how you make an exciting film Forget exciting this is how you make a film, period

The three act structure? There is none Central protagonist? None Villains? Everyone is a villain and also a hero Just like in real life Mind-numbing action sequences, Oscar-calibrated speeches, excessive CGI, sequel potential, prequel potential? No, no, no, no, no The movie

comes up with a list of every single dreadful convention in the book and breaks every last one of them No climax, no inciting incident, no discernible narrative trajectory Makes you want to take the big thick manual of formula screenwriting and rip it in half

And did I mention, it’s entertaining as hell? Szifron glues your eyes to the screen and dares you to look away I know I’m flinging around the hyperboles here, but the reason you have such trouble looking away is because you actually want to know what’s gonna happen next! Do you know how unusual that is?! That is exciting! And thrilling! And invigorating! Cinema sins, good luck finding anything trite in this movie Anything can happen here it’s an outlandish, outrageous, glorious wild west I mentioned Pulp Fiction earlier because many celebrate that film as a classic example of lawlessness, a film which achieves miracles through rule-breaking But certain rules Pulp adheres to, Wild Tales has no respect for Szifron doesn’t bother to interconnect all the insane and uproarious events in the film There’s no moment of convergence It starts abruptly and then it stops abruptly Anyone who loves film will love it, anyone who doesn’t love film will see it, love it, and then learn to love film

Know this: the movie does have conflict conflict at its most primal and pure, without the customary excuses for it, and that is what makes

all drama interesting Not cool effects, not big name stars, not snappy dialogue, not millions of dollars on the screen Aristotle probably would have loved this movie, despite the fact that it takes a bazooka to his classical unities You can think of Wild Tales as, well, a collection of wild tales six or so short stories strung together on film, each one of them extremely compelling and exorbitantly crazy Never, ever, do you have the slightest idea where Szifron’s madcap ship is heading, you just go along for the fantastic ride I’m going to stop now, because I have to go down to Cinemapolis and see this movie again I know I haven’t uncovered five percent of the joys inside it Now get out of your chair and c h e c

m

s a t Cinemapolis If you ’ re not at home, use your iPhone If you ’ re in class, leave to check the showtimes You have never seen anything like this and you will never see anything like this again Get yourself in a seat and bon voyage

Mark DiStefano is a junior in the College of Ar ts and Sciences He can be reached at mdistefano@cornellsun com

EMMA LICHTENSTEIN 16

SLOANE GRINSPOON ’17

AMBER CHEN ’16

NATALIE TSAY 18

JAYNE ZUREK 16

MICHAELA BREW 18

SOFIA HU 17

JAEL GOLDFINE ’17

NOAH RANKIN ’16

REBECCA BLAIR ’17

PAULINA GLASS 18

ADAM BRONFIN 18

SHANE LEWIS 18

ADDY PAI ’16

Lee 17

16

Jael Goldfine 17

Yan ’18

Letter to the Editor

Representative’s arguments largely illegitimate

To the Editor:

Re: GUEST ROOM: Examining Cornell’s Health Fee,” Opinion, March 26

As the mother of a freshman who uses her parents ’ health insurance, I was interested to see that Congressman Reed wrote a letter to the editor objecting to Cornell’s imposition of a $350 fee for students who do not use Cornell’s insurance program Like Mr Reed, I find this fee unfair and improper

However, the congressman ’ s arguments were entirely undermined by his injection of partisan politics in the form of complaints about the Obama economy (which, by the way, is burgeoning, not stagnant), about “overpaid” professors (who certainly had no input into the fee this is both a red herring and an ad hominem anti-intellectual attack), and about supporters of universal healthcare Cornell’s health fee has nothing to do with the Affordable Health Care Act or any other “social experiment ” If all students used Obamacare, we wouldn’t even be talking about students with Cornell insurance versus students without

If health insurance is just a foolish ideology that students are “forced” to have, how can the congressman describe students who have chosen to be covered as “socially responsible” and “rational”? Instead of constructing a short, logical complaint about the fee, Reed’s team wrote a badly constructed political hodgepodge

Kathy Zahler, Cornell parent

L e t t

Deon Thomas | It’s Not Me, It’s You

Journalism’s

Sensationalism Problem

On Nov 1 9 , 2 0 1 4 , Ro l l i n g St o n e m a g a z i n e p u b l i s h e d a s t o r y e n t it l e d “A R a p e o n C a m p u s : A

Br u t a l A s s a u l t a n d St r u g g l e f o r Ju s t i c e a t U VA ” w r i t t e n b y Sa b r i n a E rd e l y T h i s s t o r y re a c h e d 2 7 m i l l i o n v i e w s o n l i n e w h i c h i s m o re t h a n a n y t h a n a n y Ro l l i n g

St o n e f e a t u r e n o t a b o u t a c e l e b r i t y

Ap p r o x i m a t e l y 2 7 m i l l i o n p e o p l e w e re i n f o r m e d t h a t a w o m a n w a s g a n g r a p e d

b y P h i K a p p a Ps i f r a t e r n i t y b r o t h e r s a t t h e Un i v e r s i t y o f Vi r g i n i a T h o s e 2 7

m i l l i o n p e o p l e w e re t o l d t h a t h e r f r i e n d s re f u s e d t o h e l p h e r, t h a t t h e u n i v e r s i t y

c u l t u re d i d l i t t l e t o a s s i s t h e r a n d t h a t

d u e t o t h e re a c t i o n s o f t h o s e a r o u n d h e r s h e re f u s e d t o e v e n h e l p h e r s e l f A n d t h e

2 7 m i l l i o n p e o p l e re c o i l e d i n d i s g u s t , a n g e r a n d i n c re d u l i t y It t u r n s o u t t h a t t h e r e a d e r s

h a d e v e r y r i g h t t o f e e l i n c r e d u l o u s b e c a u s e u l t i m a t e l y R o l l i n g St o n e m a g az i n e w a s c o e r c e d i n t o r e t r a c t i n g t h e s t o r y w h e n s e v e r a l g a p s i n t h e s t o r y c o n t i n u e d t o w i d e n T h e m a g a z i n e t a s k e d t h e C o l u m b i a S c h o o l o f Jo u r n a l i s m w i t h w r i t i n g a b o u t t h e l a p s e i n re p o r t i n g a n d f a c t c h e c k i n g

This is the problem with a lot of journalism today, the drive to shock readers when the core value should be to inform them.

n

w a s

t q u e s t i o n i n g w h e t h e r o r n o t t h e v i c t i m s h o u l d h a v e b e e n a p a r t o f t h e s t o r y a t a l l It s e e m s t h a t t h e s t a f f f e l l i n l ov e w i t h t h i s s t o r y d u e t o i t ’ s s h o c k v a l u e a n d n e v e r l o o k e d b a c k T h i s i s t h e p r o b l e m w i t h a l o t o f j o u r n a l i s m t o d a y, t h e d r i v e t o s h o c k re a d e r s w h e n t h e c o re v a l u e s h o u l d b e t o i n f o r m t h e m C o l o m b i a ’ s re p o r t e v e n s t a t e s t h a t “ T h e e d i t o r s m a d e j u d g m e n t s a b o u t a t t r i b ut i o n , f a c t - c h e c k i n g a n d v e r i f i c a t i o n t h a t g re a t l y i n c re a s e d t h e i r r i s k s o f e r r o r b u t h a d l i t t l e o r n o t h i n g t o d o w i t h p r o t e c ti n g Ja c k i e ’ s p o s i t i o n ” How e v e r, t h e y d o n o t g o s o f a r a s t o q u e s t i o n t h e d r i v e t h a t l e d t h e m t o t h e i r r i s k y m e t h o d s o f re p o r t i n g Jo u r n a l i s m i s a b u s i n e s s , a n d , a s s u c h , i t i s a b o u t m a k i n g m o n e y In o rd e r t o m a k e m o n e y, t h e g o a l m u s t b e t o a p p e a l t o a s m a n y re a d e r s o r v i e w e r s a s p o s s i b l e , b u t i n t h a t m i s s i o n j o u r n a l i s t s c a n n o t c o n t i n u e t o a b u s e t h e a r t o f j o u r n a l i s m W h e n f o r c e d t o v i e w j o u r n a l i s m a s a n a r t , o n e m u s t a c k n ow l e d g e t h e c a re f u l l y b a l a n c e d s c a l e o f b o t h a p p e a l i n g t o re a d e r s w h i l e n o t s t r a y i n g t o o f a r f r o m t h e p r o p e r c r a f t o f re p o r t i n g T h i s d o e s n o t m e a n t h a t j o u r n a l i s t s s h o u l d s t r a y f r o m t h e t r u l y s h o c k i n g s t or i e s t h a t p a i n t a p i c t u re o f t h e p r o b l e m s p e r v a d i n g o u r s o c i e t y, i t j u s t m e a n s t h a t j o u r n a l i s t s n e e d t o m a k e d a m n s u re t h a t t h o s e s t o r i e s a re f a c t a n d n o t f i c t i o n Ho p e f u l l y t h i s e x t re m e l y p u b l i c m i s t a k e w i l l f o r c e s o m e c h a n g e i n t h e j o u r n a l i s m i n d u s t r y, b u t i t s e e m s d o u b t f u l a t t h i s p o i n t A s N B C n e w s c o r re s p o n d e n t L i s a My e r s t w e e t e d , “ So n o o n e g e t s f i re d a n d n o p o l i c i e s c h a n g e ? No w o n d e r s o f e w t r u s t u s a n y m o re , ” a n d i n a n e v e n b e t t e r p o i n t , Po l i t i c o ’ s Jo h n Bre s n a h a n t w e e t e d “ W h a t w o u l d Ro l l i n g St o n e i n i t s h e yd a y w r i t e a b o u t a n i n s t i t u t i

t h a t l e d t o t h e f a l s e s t o r y T h e c o n c l u s i o n t h a t a l o t o f p e o p l e a r e c o m i n g t o i s t h a t d u e t o t h e s e n s it i v e n a t u r e o f t h e t o p i c , t h e e d i t o r s a t t h e R o l l i n g St o n e f a i l e d t o b e d e m a n di n g e n o u g h w i t h t h e v i c t i m a n d t h u s l e t h e r c o n t r o l t h e n a r r a t i v e A s t h e C o l u m b i a S c h o o l o f Jo u r n a l i s m s a i d i n t h e i r r e p o r t , “ B e c a u s e q u e s t i o n i n g a v i c t i m ’ s a c c o u n t c a n b e t r a u m a t i c , c o u n s e l o r s h a v e c a u t i o n e d j o u r n a l i s t s t o a l l o w s u r v i v o r s s o m e c o n t r o l o v e r t h e i r o w n s t o r i e s T h i s i s g o o d a d v i c e Ye t i t d o e s s u r v i v o r s n o g o o d i f r e p o r t e r s d o cu m e n t i n g t h e i r c a s e s a v o i d r i g o r o u s p r a c t i c e s o f v e r i f i c a t i o n ” I a g r e e w h o l eh e a r t e d l y w i t h t h e a f o r e m e n t i o n e d s t a t e m e n t , y e t I h a v e m y d o u b t s a b o u t t h i s b e i n g t h e c e n t r a l p r o b l e m t h a t l e d t o t h e i l l e g i t i m a t e f e a t u r e I w o u l d , h o w e v e r, l i k e t o s t a t e t h a t i t w o u l d b e f a r b e t t e r t o h a v e a v i c t i m n o l o n g e r a b l e t o c o o p e r a t e i n a f e a t u r e t h a n t o p u b l i s h a s t o r y t h a t l e a v e s c o u n t l e s s p e o p l e w r o n g l y q u e s t i o n i n g t h e v e r a c it y o f o t h e r r a p e s u r v i v o r s I b e l i e v e t h e c e n t r a l p r o b l e m w a s t h a t t h e r e p o r t e r a n d t h e e d i t o r s w e r e n o t s i m p l y l o o k i n g t o e x p o s e a p r o b l e m t h a t o c c u r s f a r t o o o f t e n o n o u r c o l l e g e c a m p u s e s , t h e y w e r e l o o k i n g t o s h o c k t h e p u b l i c S i m p l y s p e a k i n g , t h e y w a n t e d t h o s e 2 7 m i l l i o n v i e w s I b e g a n t o c o n c e i v e t h i s i d e a w h e n I re a d t h e f i r s t p a r a g r a p h o f C o l o m b i a ’ s re p o r t , w h i c h s t a t e d t h a t a c c o rd i n g t o E rd e l y ’ s n o t e s s h e w a s s e a r c h i n g f o r a s i n g l e , e m b l e m a t i c c o l l e g e r a p e c a s e t h a t w o u l d s h ow “ w h a t i t ’ s l i k e t o b e o n c a mp u s n ow w h e re n o t o n l y i s r a p e s o p re v a l e n t b u t a l s o t h a t t h e re ’ s t h i s p e r v as i v e c u l t u re o f s e x u a l h a r a s s m e n t / r a p e c u l t u re ” T h e f i r s t t h i n g t h a t p o p p e d i n t o m y h e a d w a s c o n f i r m a t i o n b i a s , w h i c h s t a t e s t h a t p e o p l e h a v e a t e n d e n c y t o i n t e r p re t i n f o r m a t i o n t h a t c o n f i r m s o n e ’ s p re c o n c e p t i o n s I f E rd e l y w e n t i n l o o k i n g f o r a s t o r y t h a t c o n f i r m e d h e r i d e a t h a t t h e re w a s a p e r v a s i v e c u l t u re o f s e x u a l h a r a s s m e n t , t h e n s h e w a s m o re s u s c e p t i b l e t o b e l i e v e a s t o r y t h a t o t h e r ’ s w o u l d p r e s s h a r d e r t o f a c t c h e c k A l t h o u g h t h e Ro l l i n g St o n e c l a i m s t h a t t h e y w e re t o o d e f e re n t i a l t o t h e v i c t i m , i t m u s t b e n o t e d t h a t e v e n i n i n s t a n c e s i n w h i c h t h e y c o u l d h a v e p re s s e d f

Hebani Duggal | Teach Me How to Duggal

Eyes on Your Own Paper

e o p l e t h a t h a v e t h e i r l i f e t o g e t h e r s c a r e m e I f y o u c a n s h o w

u p t o c l a s s w i t h t h e r e a d i n g s d o n e a n d n o t e s l a i d o u t f o r d i s -

c u s s i o n e v e r y s i n g l e d a y, I ’ m n o t s u r e h o w t o i n t e r a c t w i t h

y o u I n p r e p a r i n g t o w r i t e t h i s c o l u m n a l o n e , I o rd e r e d f o u r l a r g e

c o f f e e s , s a m p l e d a s l i c e o f l e m o n c a k e t h a t t a s t e d a b o u t t h r e e

w e e k s o l d a n d t a u g h t m y s e l f h o w t o s a y t h e w o rd s “ a p p l e ” a n d

“ t a b l e ” i n M a n d a r i n D i d I f i g u r e o u t w h a t v i t a l o p i n i o n I h a v e t o

s h a r e w i t h t h e w o r l d t h i s w e e k ? No D o I k n o w w h e r e I ’ m h e a d e d i n l i f e ? No t r e a l l y H a v e I t a k e n a l l t h e q u i z z e s u p l o a d e d o n t o

B u z z f e e d i n t h e l a s t s e v e n h o u r s ? A b s o l u t e l y S o m e w h e r e b e t w e e n f i n d i n g o u t i f I c a n p a s s a f i f t h g r a d e

s p e l l i n g t e s t a n d w h e t h e r I a m a c t u a l l y d a t i n g Ry a n G o s l i n g ( y e s

t o b o t h I a m a l w a y s d a t i n g Ry a n G o s l i n g , t h a t ’ s n o t e v e n u p f o r d e b a t e ) , I c a m e a c r o s s a n a r t i c l e t h a t c a u s e d m e t o s t e p b a c k a n d s t o p s e a r c h i n g f o r v a l i d a t i o n t h r o u g h B u z z f e e d q u i z z e s It w a s a n i n t e r v i e w w i t h t h e i n c r e d i b l e M i n d y K a l i n g , t i t l e d “ 1 4 P i e c e s o f A d v i c e M i n d y K a l i n g H a s f o r Wo m e n ” Cu e f r a n t i c n o t e - t a ki n g i n t h e m i d d l e o f a St a r b u c k s t h a t h a s t h r e a t e n e d t o k i c k m e o u t s e v e r a l t i m e s i f I d o n ’ t “ w o r k c a l m l y l i k e e v e r y b o d y e l s e a r o u n d m e ” T h e q u e s t i o n s p o s e d b y r e a d e r s t o K a l i n g r a n g e d a w i d e v a r i e t y o f t o p i c s , f r o m “ Ho w d o y o u f l i r t ? ” t o “ Ho w d o y o u t h i n k t h e

m e d i a c a n i n c l u d e m o r e p e o p l e o f c o l o r ? , ” e a c h q u e s t i o n i n c i t e d t h o u g h t f u l r e s p o n s e s f r o m M s K a l i n g r e s p o n s e s t h a t s p o k e t o a h o s t o f l a r g e r i s s u e s t h a n j u s t t h o s e t h a t w e r e b r o u g h t u p Tw o r e s p o n s e s , i n p a r t i c u l a r, c a u g h t m y a t t e n t i o n O n e s p o k e t o t h e i s s u e o f c o n f i d e n c e i n w o m e n , t h e o t h e r t o t h e i s s u e o f p r i o r i t i e s

I came across an article that caused me to back and stop searching for validation thro Buzzfeed quizzes It was an interview with incredible Mindy Kaling, titled “14 Pieces Advice Mindy Kaling Has for Women.”

To t h e y o u n g w o m a n w h o b e l i e v e d t h e w o r l d t o l d h e r s h e s h o u l d -

n ’ t f e e l s o s t r o n g l y a b o u t h e r s e l f o r h e r o p i n i o n s , M i n d y r e s p o n d -

e d w i t h , “ S o h e r e ’ s t h e d e a l w i t h c o n f i d e n c e I u s e d t o h a v e n o

c o n f i d e n c e , t h e n I h a d a g r e a t d e a l o f f a l s e c o n f i d e n c e a n d n o w I ’ m i n f u s e d w i t h r e a l c o n f i d e n c e W h e n p e o p l e g e t t h e c o n f i d e n c e

k n o c k e d o u t o f t h e m , I f e e l l i k e i t w a s p r o b a b l y f a l s e c o n f i d e n c e

b e c a u s e y o u c a n ’ t g e t [ c o n f i d e n c e ] k n o c k e d o u t o f y o u w h e n

y o u a r e t r u l y c o n f i d e n t I t h i n k y o u h a v e t o b e a b l e t o h a v e e v e r y -

t h i n g t a k e n a w a y f r o m y o u a n d b e s i t t i n g i n a d i t c h a n d k n o w y o u c o u l d b u i l d i t u p f r o m s c r a t c h T h a t ’ s h o w I f e e l a n d t h a t ’ s h o w I k n o w i t ’ s t r u e c o n f i d e n c e ” T h e d i s t i n c t i o n K a l i n g m a k e s b e t w e e n f a k e c o n f i d e n c e a n d

t r u e c o n f i d e n c e i s o n e t h a t r e l a t e s d i r e c t l y t o t h e i n s e c u r i t i e s t h a t I a l o n g w i t h m a n y o t h e r c o l l e g e s t u d e n t s a r o u n d m e f e e l i n d e a l i n g w i t h p e o p l e t h a t s e e m i n g l y h a v e t h e i r l i v e s

t o g e t h e r L o g i n t o Fa c e b o o k , Tw i t t e r, a n y s o c i a l m e d i a s i t e o f y o u r c h o o s i n g , a n d y o u c a n f i n d y o u r s e l f s c r o l l i n g t h r o u g h a n n o u n c e m e n t s o f o t h e r p e o p l e ’ s s u c c e s s e s Ev e n j u s t a s i m p l e s t o r y o f y o u r f r i e n d ’ s g r e a t i n t e r n s h i p c a n s e t o f f a w a v e o f e x i st e n t i a l p a n i c , n o m a t t e r h o w c o m p o s e d y o u m i g h t h a v e c o nv i n c e d y o u r s e l f t o b e It’s m o r e t h a n j u s t p e t t i n e s s ; w h i l e t h e r e a r e , o f c o u r s e , e l e m e n t s o f s i m p l e j e a l o u s y i n t h e s e e m o t i o n s , o f t e n t i m e s , t h e y a r e a l s o a r e f l e c t i o n o f a l a c k o f c o n f i d e n c e i n t h e p r i o r i t i e s y o u h a v e f o r y o u r s e l f M a n y p e o p l e w o u l d s a y t h i s l a c k o f c o n f i d e n c e i n m y p r i o r i t i e s e x i s t s b e c a u s e m y p r i o r i t i e s i n c l u d e e a t i n g a s m a n y D o r i t o s a s I c a n w h i l e w a t c h i n g a n u n h e a l t h y a m o u n t o f Ne t f l i x I w o u l d d i sa g r e e : My p r i o r i t i e s a r e w h a t a l l o w m e t o ov e r c o m e t h e e x i s t e n t i a l c r i s e s I a m f a c e d w i t h “ I ’ m h e l p e d b y t h e f a c t t h a t I ’ l l h a v e a p a n i c a t t a c k a f t e r t h e s i x t h e p i s o d e o f t h e T V s h o w I ’ m w a t c h i n g s o y o u j u s t n e e d t o m a k e s u r e t h a t y o u h a v e a f i n e l y h o n e d p a n i c m e c h a n i s m t h a t g o e s o f f, ” s a y s M i n d y, i n r e s p o n s e t o t h e f a c t t h a t s h e t o o d o e s n ’ t a l w a y s h a v e h e r p r i o r i t i e s i n o rd e r A “f i n e l y h o n e d p a n i c m e c h a n i s m ” i s p e r h a p s t h e b e s t w a y t o p u t t h e f a c t t h a t I c a n w o r k o n l y a f t e r s e v e r a l h o u r s o f p r o c r a s t in a t i o n a n d u n d e r a s m u c h p r e s s u r e a s I c a n p u t m y s e l f t h r o u g h a n d f r a n k l y, I a m e n t i r e l y o k a y w i t h t h i s I f t h e r e ’ s o n e t h i n g I ’ v e l e a r n e d f r o m M i n d y ’ s i n t e r v i e w, m y r i d i c u l o u s s t u d y h a b i t s , a n d o b s e r v i n g e v e r y o n e e l s e a r o u n d m e

Web

Comme nt of the day

“In comparing the sums that support financial aid, it is important to also consider that Cornell has twice as many undergraduates as Stanford. Thus, Stanford has seven times the endowment per undergraduate ”

Luteen Re: “Editorial: An Affortable Education for All” Opinion, published April 6, 2015

David Fischer | Fischy Business

The Folly of the Oversharer

Tm

o f m y biweekly column in which I generally “disc u s s i s s u e s r e l e v a n t t o t h e Cornell community with satire, personal anecdotes and a hint of self-deprecation” (according to my resume) has to do with the confessions of an oversharer Sorr y to let you down, but I will not be the one oversharing My editor told me that sharing any details about my personal life would be more harmful to The Sun’s audience than a freshman engineer discovering the Sex on Thursday columns for the first time Therefore, as you are settling back into your lecture halls for the final stretch of the year, I would like to turn your attention to our fellow Ne w York St a t e Iv y League institution, Columbia University

T h e

t o g i v e u p t h e e n t e r p r i s e because “if any law enforcement group were to turn its focus back on our campus, I would be a top target ”

T h e n e x t d a y, M i c h a e l

Getzler, a sophomore English major at Columbia, was arrested for five dr ug-related charges by the NYPD Now, it would be inappropriate for me to explicitly say that Getzler and the Spectator’s anonymous writer are the same person In fact, I hope that the Spectator maintains commonplace journalistic ethical stand a r d s b y n o t r e v e a l i n g t h e anonymous dealer’s identity if the NYPD asks However, I am sure that a police depar tment w i t h a h i s t o r y o f b u s t i n g

I consider their flippant and ill-consi use of a public, very trackable syste pay for an illicit transaction to be a g failure of discretion.

C o l u m b i a Daily Spectator published an anonymous ne wspaper column in the April 1 e d i t i o n T h e c o l u m n ’ s t i t l e ? “ C o n f e s s i o n s o f a d e p a r t i n g dr ug dealer ” In the column, the alleged dr ug dealer talks at length about, in the author’s words, the “bevy of ‘fun-assisting’ substances” that he or she d e a l s t o a n e t w o r k t h a t i s , apparently, “scarily large ” The a n o n y m o u s d e a l e r g l e e f u l l y describes the sheer amount that he or she sold in preparation for C o l u m b i a ’ s B a c c h a n a l , t h e i r equivalent to our Slope Day

T h e a l l e g e d d e a l e r w r i t e s , “ Weed, edibles, MDMA, coke I have sold all of these over

t h e p a s t we e k , i n s t a g g e r i n g amounts Several hundred students (and I would call that a conser vative estimate) will be s m o k i n g m y w e e d t h i s Saturday There will be more than 100 students rolling on MDMA, thanks to me alone ” Both the scope of the operation if the claims are at all tr ue as well as the pride and admiration that goes along with t h e r e p o r t i n g a r e s t r i k i n g

Ho w e v e r, t h e r e i s a n o t h e r dimension to the oversharer’s tale Although the dealer finds it “fulfilling and exciting [to be] the person that people rely on for fun,” he or she has decided

Columbia dr ug dealers most recently in 2010’s Operation Ivy League would have had knowledge of a network as vast a s t h e a n o n y m o u s d e a l e r describes I am sure, therefore, that such a depar tment would not take a column that suggests that the operations are happening without the knowledge of the NYPD par ticularly lightly T h e a n o n y m o u s c o l u m n i s t ’ s statement that “I feel as if ever y policeman or Public Safety officer I walk by is sizing me up ” may have been more valid than previously thought I n r e p o r t i n g o n G e t z l e r ’ s arrest, the website Capital Ne w York sur faced another interesting dimension related to oversharing Capital Ne w York confirmed with several of Getzler’s alleged former clients that they had paid using the instant cash s h a r i n g s e r v i c e Ve n m o Apparently Getzler had a r ule with the Venmo payments: the “description has to be funny ” And most of them are fairly f u n n y B e c a u s e Ve n m o p a yment descriptions are public, I w a s a b l e t o a c c e s s G e t z l e r ’ s account myself The ones I personally found funniest were the n o n - s e q u i t u r s : “ B e c a u s e , ” “ Sp r i n g c l e a n i n g , ” “ My n e w designer turban collection” and

“ You can ’ t even buy a tablespoon of your family’s Vermont maple syr up with this ” There were also the requisite Emojis: “old man followed by an eggplant,” “snowflake followed by a peace sign” and “ woman ” (perhaps named “Molly”?) The ar ticle on Capital Ne w York pointed out that students who paid Getzler through Venmo are concerned about the public nature of the payments, something they clearly did not consider when paying Getzler for their ne w designer turban collections More generally, I consider their flippant and ill-considered use of a public, ver y trackable system to pay for an illicit transaction to be a gross failure of discretion In other w o r d s , t h e s e poorly thought o u t p a y m e n t s

i s m o n t h’s u t i l i t y b i l l s a s “ s e x x ” o r t o c a p t i o n a b o t t l e o f l i q u o r a s “ h a n d l e o f j a c k d a n i e l s t o f u e l o u r r a g i n g a l c o h o l i s m ” Bu t , a t t h e s a m e t i m e , t h e s e c a p t i o n s a re a l s o i n c re d i b l y i d i o t i c In t h e s a m e ve i n , m a k i n g yo u r Fa c e b o o k p ro f i l e p i c t u re a p i ct u re o f yo u s h o t g u n n i n g a b e e r w h i l e b a c k f l i p p i n g f u l

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What Is Kentucky’s Historical Legacy?

SHATZMAN

Continued from page 12

to do what these kids just did, to get to this point ” Kentucky had a phenomenal season, and I don’t mean to pickapart Coach Cal’s use of the word “historic ” Frankly, I often refer to pizza as “historic ” Sometimes I use “historic” to describe a difficult exam The point is, Calipari likely did not literally mean that in 2054, people will be reminiscing on the ’14-’15 Wildcats season in the same way people look back on Wooden’s UCLA run But for the sake of breaking down Kentucky’s season, let’s use Coach Cal’s words in their literal sense

There is a stark difference between undefeated and unbeatable While Kentucky entered Saturday’s game 38-0, they did not cruise to 20-point victories in wins one through 38 They had narrow overtime victories over Texas A&M and Ole Miss They faced halftime deficits at home versus Buffalo and Columbia They were a play away from losing in the Elite 8 While Kentucky did win all of these games, they were never unbeatable but they were portrayed that way

Heading into the NCAA

To u r n a m e n t , K e n t u c k y ’ s expectations were lofty, yet n o t a t a l l u n re a l i s t i c T h

field?” floated around as in, will Kentucky win the title, or will any of the other 67 teams i n

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There is a stark difference between undefeated and unbeatable ... [ Kentucky was] never unbeatable.

Ma r c h expectations had much to do with their 33-0 record at the time Don’t get me wrong; Kentucky was among the best teams in the countr y I picked them to win the title but had they lost a few of the close games they managed to win, people would have considered Kentucky among the favorites to win the tournament not the over whelming favorite

The ’14-’15 SEC lacked the talent of previous seasons It’s usually Kentucky, Florida, Tennessee, Mizzou, Ole Miss and so on, all competing for the conference title This year it was Kentucky and Arkansas The SEC is usually among the best conferences in the countr y, but this season, it wasn ’ t Kentucky only faced one ranked opponent from the time conference play began to March Madness from Jan 6 to March 15 Maybe more challenges, or even a loss, would have lessened the pressure on a team of mostly underclassmen, and benefited the Wildcats Who knows? Yet, because of the undefeated record, people myself included thought Kentucky was far and away best team in the countr y Kentucky was one of the best teams in the countr y, but when all is said and done, just like 66 other tournament teams, they were not NCAA Champions, and the ’14-’15 Wildcats’ season was just another what-could-have-been season under John Calipari Kentucky will continue to bring in top-tier recruits and compete for titles, in hopes of chasing histor y – histor y of the sort that John Wooden’s UCLA teams made But for now, Kentucky had a great, 38-1 season Great, but not historic

Ben Shatzman can be reached at bshatzman@cornellsun com

Red Stays Atop Ivy League

Beats Green, loses against Crimson

M LACROSSE

Continued from page 12

“We hurt ourselves a lot in [against Harvard] We didn’t finish the opportunities we should have ” C o n n o r B u c z e k

e D a r t m o u t h g a m e a d d e d t h re e a s s i s t s T h e R e d h a s t w o I v y L e a g u e g a m e s l e f t a g a i n s t B r o w n a n d Pr i n c e t o n t o k e e p i t s s p o t a t o p t h e l e a g u e a n d , w i t h t h i s , b e g u a r a n t e e d a s p o t i n t h e N C A A t o u r n a m e n t B r o w n a n d Pr i n c e t o n a r e c u rr e n t l

Shan Dhaliwal can be reached at sdhaliwal@cornellsun com

Spor ts

Buczek Shines as Laxers Split Ivy League Games

By SHAN DAHALIWAL Sun Staff Writer

The No 3 Cornell men ’ s lacrosse team continued Ivy League play this past week, defeating Dartmouth on March 28 but losing to Harvard this past Saturday in Cambridge With a 3-1 league record, the Red are atop the Ivy League despite the loss

The victory against Dartmouth extended the Red’s home win streak this season

“Defensively, we had a great game the whole way through [against Darmouth].”

One of the annual goals for the program is an undefeated record on Schoellkopf Field The team most recently accomplished this in 2011, when the Red finished the year 8-0 at home

The Big Green held the Red close in the first half of the game before allowing five goals in the third quarter Senior midfielder Connor Buczek scored three of these goals, leading the Red’s second half surge to a final score of 8-2

“Defensively we had a great game the whole way through,” Buczek said “The offense didn’t pick up until the second half ”

However, things didn’t go quite as well for the Red a week later in Cambridge

Although Cornell bested Harvard in shots (39-30) and ground balls (39-29), the Red came up just short against the Crimson, losing 10-9 after a goal by Harvard attack Devin Dwyer late in the fourth quarter Dwyer also scored in the

I s K e n t u c k y

Ifirst quarter

The Red trailed the Crimson 6-4 at halftime and 7-5 going into the fourth quarter Three goals by Cornell and one from Harvard midfielder Ian Ardrey left the game tied at eight with 8:00 left in the game Harvard midfielder Joe Lang scored with 3:00 remaining to put the Crimson up 98

Senior attack Dan Lintner continued his habit of lategame heroics with a goal with 0:40 left to tie the game at nine However, the Crimson immediately responded with

the goal by Dwyer with 0:32 remaining to finish off the game, 10-9

The Red took 39 shots in the game to the Crimson’s 30 Harvard was still able to outscore the Red, 3-1, in the first quarter even though the Red won all five face-offs

“We hurt ourselves a lot in that game, ” Buczek said “We didn’t finish the opportunities we should have ” However, there were some positives from the game

Red Drops Five During Spring Break

Softballers record three wins against Morgan State, Mount St. Mary’s

H i s t o r i c ? Ben Shatzman

n the 1970’s, the UCLA men ’ s basketball program, under legendar y coach John Wooden, established its place in history Wooden led the Bruins to seven consecutive NCAA Championships including four perfect, 30-0 seasons Decades later, Wooden remains an icon, and arguably the greatest collegiate basketball coach to ever live, and rightfully so He made history

Calling the Shatz

When Kentucky head coach John Calipari takes the podium following a game, win or loss, he always remains composed He refrains from obnoxious jubilance following a major win, and he keeps his cool post-defeat It’s an admirable trait, Wooden-esque, really, especially considering the number of major wins and similarly, heartbreaking losses (see 2008 National Championship) Calipari has experienced in his coaching career

On Saturday, after Calipari’s undefeated Wildcats fell to Wisconsin, the head coach addressed the media like he always does In his opening statement, he reflected on the season that had just ended “This season is historic I just can ’ t believe anybody is going

See SHATZMAN page 11

By OLIVIA MATTYASOVSZKY Sun Staff Writer

The Cornell softball team hit the road over spring break, traveling all over to play a total of eight games and five opponents

The Red tallied three wins and five losses during the road trip All three wins came against Morgan State University and Mount St Mary’s, while the losses came at the end of the week against George Washington, Harvard and Dartmouth

“We knew the end of our trip was going to be tough Har vard and Dartmouth have always been tough as they are always on top of the standings,” said junior infielder Emily Weinberg

“Both Ivy teams have great pitching and hitting, so we knew we were going to have to fight hard to win those ”

The break started off on a positive note for the Red with two outstanding performances against Morgan State University with scores of 12-3 and 10-0 In the first game, Cornell started out shaky, allowing MSU to score three times The Red, however, tied it up in the second inning and never looked back

MSU didn’t score again and the Red offense kept driving runners home, adding four more tallies in the fourth inning and five in the sixth

“I think the biggest thing that we did well against Morgan State was hit Every single person in the lineup was getting hits and having productive at bats,” Weinberg said “We got on, moved runners, and scored In addition to that, solid pitching and defense helped us take those games away ” The second game against the Bears

was just as one-sided towards the Red Freshman pitcher Maddie Orcutt shut out the MSU, striking out seven and walking one The Red offense scored one in the first, two in the fourth and an impressive seven in the fifth to end the game with a score of 10-0

The Red extended the win streak to three with a 13-8 win over Mount St Mary’s The first inning was all offense, with Cornell scoring five and Mount St Mar y ’ s scoring three The Red steadily put up runs and though MSM had a st four runs in the third inning, they couldn’ keep up with the Corne offense

Junior Leann Iannucci said she sees th Red’s offensive progression as a positive on which the team can build

“The biggest thing are doing this year is h and simple I think we ’ r League in batting averag statistics,” Iannucci said our recent games we we seven runs a game, and with the competition we continue hitting like we and fine-tune some othe our game, we can only here ” Before playing H Dartmouth over the w had one more non-con George Washington Un

“We played G W las

two really close games with them, so we knew they were going to give us a good game, ” Weinberg said

The whole game was a dogfight; Cornell went without a run until the fourth inning, but came back strong in the sixth inning with four runs and adding two in the last inning to end with seven runs total

George Washington went slow but steady, and had one run in each of the first, fourth and fifth innings, while netting three in the third and two

Olivia Mattyasovszky can be reached at omattyasovszky @cornellsun com