03-28-13

Investment O f cer : Divestment May Hurt Cornell’s Endowment

By CAROLYN KRUPSKI Sun Staff Writer

In response to students fighting for Cornell to divest or remove its investments from the fossil fuel industry, Cornell’s Chief Investment Officer said pulling the University’s investments out of the industry may negatively impact its endowment returns C I O A J Edwards said that although d i v e s t m e n t may seem to b e “

“This decision would have a material impact on the return of the endowment.”

and straight-

jective the reality is far more complex ”

“If the University decided to exclude [energy sector] investments from its endowment, this decision would have a material impact on the return of the endowment and its contribution to the operating budget of the University,” Edwards said

According to Edwards, the expected rate of return on investments in the energy sector is one of the highest of all of the asset classes the University invests in In contrast, to date, investments in alternative energy strategies in general have rarely produced returns that meet Cornell’s risk and return requirements, Edwards said As a way to pressure the University to divest, the Student Assembly passed a resolution in early February, calling for the “divestment of all fossil fuel related investments by the

See DIVESTMENT page 4

Let’s get loud

Grad Students Detained Near Border

Both refused to answer queries about citizenship status

By JINJOO LEE Sun News Editor

Large Attendance at Memorial

S er vice for Joseph Quandt ’15

By ALEXA DAVIS Sun Staff Wr ter

More than 150 students, family members and faculty attended a memorial service for Joseph Quandt ’15 at Anabel Taylor Hall Wednesday Attendees remembered Quandt who died of natural causes on Feb 27 as a bright, quirky and selfless young man who

had a passion for urban and regional studies and aspired to make the world a more just place

Angela née Graf, Quandt’s mother, described Quandt as “ someone who could find the good in everything and everyone ” She said that, even at a young age, Quandt

The two were released from jail in Brownsville on bond at approximately 7:30 p m on Tuesday Figueredo said that they refused to answer the agent ’ s question not because they did not have docu-

See DETAINMENT page 5

After refusing to answer a border patrol agent ’ s question about their citizenship status at a Texas airport near the border between the U S and Mexico, Omar Figueredo grad and Nancy Morales grad were arrested Figuerdo was arrested for failing to identify himself, resisting arrest and obstructing a passageway, while Morales was arrested for interference with public duties, a class B misdemeanor

Clements J.D.

’88:

Citizens United Ruled Incorrectly

By RUDY YODER Sun Staff Writer

Former Mass Assistant Attorney General Jeff Clements J D ’88 spoke Wednesday about his efforts to challenge the Supreme Court’s decision in Citizens United v Federal Election Commission

The case, settled in 2010, held that the government may not limit corporate spending on political campaigns

Clements, who has founded a national campaign Free Speech for People to try to overturn Citizens United v FEC, said Americans face a serious issue of money dominating politics He said that democratic elections are being dominated and unfairly influenced by billionaires

According to Clements, 200 people contributed 75 percent of donated money to the 2012 presidential campaign, 32 people contributed as much as the entire “small donor pool” which is comprised of people who donate under $200 per election cycle and 1,900 donors were responsible for 97 percent of Super PAC money

These numbers demonstrate that only a small elite controls political debate, according to Clements, which he said means that

City Will Move to Four Days of Trash Collection

By KEVIN MILIAN Sun Staff Writer

i d a y f o r o t h e r m a i n t e n a n c e s e r v i c e s , a c c o rd i n g t o R a y Be n j a m i n , a s s i s t a n t s u p e r i n t e n -

d e n t o f s t re e t s a n d f a c i l i t i e s f o r t h e c i t y “ We g o t a re p o r t t h a t s a i d we c o u l d

b e m o re e f f i c i e n t i n t r a s h p i c k u p, a n d t h e re w a s a n a u d i t by t h e s t a t e [ a s k i n g u s ]

t o u t i l i ze o u r p e o p l e b e t t e r, ” Be n j a m i n s a i d “ In s t e a d o f s p re a d i n g o u t w o rk e r s

a n d a ve r a g i n g l e s s t h a n 4 0 h o u r s o f w o rk

a we e k , t h e y’l l b e w o rk i n g a f u l l e i g h t -

h o u r d a y w i t h t h e n e w s c h e d u l e ” T h e s c h e d u l e c h a n g e w a s d i s c u s s e d i n

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Ma yo r Sva n t e My r i c k ’ 0 9 a n d Bi l l R a y,

f o r m e r s u p e r i n t e n d e n t o f p u b l i c w o rk s ,

a c c o rd i n g t o K a t h y Ge h r i n g , e xe c u t i ve

a s s i s t a n t o f t h e s u p e r i n t e n d e n t o f p u b l i c w o rk s

A l d e r p e r s o n Cy n t h i a Br o c k ( D - 1 s t

Wa rd ) s a i d t h e d e c i s i o n t o d e c re a s e t h e n u m b e r o f t r a s h c o l l e c t i o n d a y s w a s m o t i va t e d by f i n a n c i a l c o n s i d e r a t i o n s “ T h i s w i l l a s s i s t i n re d u c i n g t h e c o s t s t o t h e d e p a r t m e n t a n d h

s t a f f, t h e s c h e d u l e c h a n g e w i l l a l s o m a k e g a r b a g e c re w w o rk e r s a va i l a b l e f o r w o rk o n Fr i d a y f o r u t i l i t y p a t c h i n g , p a r a d e s a n d b a r r i c a d e s , a c c o rd i n g t o Be n j a m i n

By NOAH RANKIN Sun Staff Writer

Good enough to eat

“ We h a d t o c u t 1 0 p e rc e n t o f o u r s t a f f, w h i c h we d i d by n o t re p l a c i n g re t i re d

w o rk e r s , ” Be n j a m i n s a i d

Ac c o rd i n g t o Be n j a m i n , t h e g a r b a g e

s c h e d u l e c h a n g e s w i l l n o t a f f e c t re c yc l i n g

p i c k u p b e c a u s e To m p k i n s C o u n t y m a n -

a g e s re c yc l i n g f o r t h e c i t y

B e n j a m i n s a i d t h a t t h e s c h e d u l e

c h a n g e s w i l l b e i m p l e m e n t e d i n a w a y

t h a t i s c o n s i d e r a t e o f t h e c o m m u n i t y ’ s

n e e d s “

Re s i d e n t s a n d h o m e ow n e r s n e e d t o p a y a t t e n t i o n t o t h e i r n e w we e k We’l l g i ve t h e m a g r a c e p e r i o d o f a m o n t h b e f o re we s t a r t f i n i n g p e o p l e a n d w r i t i n g t i c k e t s , ” h e s a i d “ C h a n g e t a k e s t i m e , a n d t h i s i s t h e f i r s t s c h e d u l e c h a n g e i n 3 0 ye a r s ”

He e n c o u r a g e s c i t y l a n d l o rd s t o t a l k t o t h e i r t e n a n t s a b o u t t h e s c h e d u l e c h a n g e “ It m a y n o t b e c o n ve n i e n t , b u t we ’ ve b e e n h a

Andrew Bor yga ’13 win s award for his writing: say s his work is in spired by his upbringing

Andrew Bor yga ’13, an English major whose works have been inspired by his childhood in the Bronx, will be presented the 2012-13 Undergraduate Artist of the Year Award in April for his fiction writing

The $1,000 award is granted to “ a single distinguished undergraduate student in the arts, ” according to the Cornell Council for the Arts website

Boryga said he was honored to have been chosen for the award

“Cornell has so many amazing artists,” Boryga said “There’s architects, painters, musicians, dancers for my work to be chosen above all that, I was very proud ”

Boryga said he has been heavily involved in the English department since his first year at Cornell, winning his first award for writing as a sophomore Over the last four years, he has also had numerous fiction and nonfiction works published in publications such as The New York Times, the Susquehanna Review and website Lit Drift

One particular short story,

“The Numbers” which centers around a family whose mother plays the lottery constantly in the hope of escaping poverty won Boryga the George Harmon Coxe Award from Cornell’s Creative Writing Program in 2011 as well as the Gary Fincke Creative Writing Prize in Prose in 2012 from the S u s q u e h a n n a Review Boryga will perform a reading of the story as part of his Undergraduate Artist Award presentation on April 5

Boryga said the main inspiration for writing, as evidenced by many of his creative works, is his childhood in the Bronx, NY Boryga said he was born and raised in a way that “forced [him] to mature very fast ”

“As a kid, I had to take care of my sisters I’ve been working every summer, every break since I was like 15, 16 The good thing about that is that you realize what you want, how to use your time wisely,” Boryga said “I got [to Cornell] and I knew what I wanted to do I missed out on some things, but it made me very driven It made me very focused on what I wanted to do, because there wasn ’ t really a backup plan ” Boryga said Cornell gave him

an outside perspective on the Bronx to complement his inside perspective from growing up there and gave him the distance to break down some of the idiosyncrasies of the borrough in his writing For example, in “The Numbers,” a central point involves a mother’s constant playing of the lottery

“Everyone plays the lottery in my family,” Boryga said “It wasn ’ t until I got here that I really realized the significance behind that, and that no one looks to education or jobs to move up You know, ‘It’s the lotter y, because that’s the only way we can get out ’”

In that way, one of Boryga’s main purposes in writing, he said, is being in the position “ to tell stories for people who don’t really get their stories told ”

The presentation will also include a question and answer session with Boryga and a conversation with Prof Helena Viramontes, creative writing, who nominated Boryga for the Undergraduate Artist Award Viramontes, who worked with Boryga in the fall as part of an independent study which included a rehash of “ The Numbers” said she nominated Boryaga because he “ represents the best in what the humanities have to offer, in terms of his intel-

lectual vigor, his creativity, his commitment to fiction, and his ability to really capture his community ”

I think he is going to be one hell of a voice in American literature, ” Viramontes said “I am truly, truly proud and honored to have been a part of [Boryga’s] education here at Cornell ”

Boryga said Viramontes has been very supportive of his work

“I call her my aunt I see her in the hallway, [and] I give her a hug,” Boryga said “I really adore her I came to her [last semester] because I wanted to do an independent study, and from the beginning, we clicked She’s very straightforward, very honest, very blunt, which is what I like in

“There’s architects, painters, musicians, dancers for my work to be chosen above all that, I was very proud ”

a professor ” Prof Stephanie Vaughn, English, also nominated Boryga for the award

“The hope is that I graduate in two years with my title and a book that’s ready to publish,” Boryga said “Maybe [I’d like to] get a teaching job or freelance some more; it’s kind of up in the air right now ” Whatever happens in the long term, however, Boryga will still have his eyes on the Bronx

“My biggest goal is to get kids from my neighborhood to read,” Boryga said “I would love to inspire some kids to do something outside of trying to make the NBA or becoming a rapper out of high school That’s the overall, big inspiration that I have ”

“ Those of us who have worked with Andrew Bor yga think he has a career in fiction ahead of him,” Vaughn said “He has a distinctive, highly energized voice,” she said “He writes with wit And his stories are always just a little unsettling They never let you feel comfortable in them for more than a few sentences ” Next year, Bor yga said he most likely will attend the University of Miami’s two-year Creative Writing Program and study fiction, as well as attend an intensive Callaloo Creative Writing Workshop in June Boryga said he would also like to finish his first novel, which he has worked on since the end of his freshman year, by the time he graduates with his MFA

Cornell CIO : D ivestment ‘Decreases D iversi cation’

DIVESTMENT

Continued from page 1

University” by 2020 and reinvestment in local and sustainable energy companies by 2030

Currently, $60 million of the LTI is invested in renewable and alternative energy, sustainable forestry and environmental credit investments

Becca Maccies ’14, co-author of the resolution and a member of Kyoto Now!, said she and other campus supporters of divestment believe investment in sustainable energy companies, instead of fossil fuel companies, would generate greater returns to the endowment in the long run

“A significant portion of fossil fuel resources are based on speculated amounts of oil assumed success, rather than actual success The value of these investments will decrease as the value of speculated reserves are not realized,” Maccies said

Edwards, however, said that ultimately, the purpose of Cornell’s long term investments where most of the University’s $5 billion endowment funds are located is to “provide essential funding for and to strengthen the University’s core academic mission of teaching, discovery and engagement ”

To meet this goal, the University must balance social and environmental considerations with “[maintaining] real purchasing power over time,” Edwards said

“ The investment committee and the investment office have long sought to be mindful of the issues surrounding sustainability and climate,” Edwards said In addition, divestment could add risk by decreasing the diversity of Cornell’s investment portfolio, according to Edwards Despite the findings of a recent study by the Aperio Group an investment management firm which argue that divestment would not increase financial risk, Edwards said these findings are not applicable to Cornell’s LTI investment

strategy

“By excluding an entire economic sector, we would by definition decrease the diversification of the LTI as a whole,” Edwards said “[Because] the Aperio report only incorporated publicly traded stocks into its methodology the findings are not relevant to Cornell, due to the high proportion of private partnerships present in our portfolio ”

Currently, only three American colleges Unity College, Hampshire College and Sterling College have divested from fossil fuel companies, according to Kyoto Now! Vice President Aubree Keurajian ’15

In a recent Unity College webinar, Unity College Sustainability Coordinator Jessie Pyles said that divestment over the past five years has had “ no noticeable impact on returns ”

“Simply by moving out of this big energy portion of our portfolio, we ’ ve seen no impact on returns on investment In fact, our portfolio over these past five years has exceeded market benchmarks,” Pyles said in the webinar

Supporters of the S A ’ s Resolution 32 have said that it is important that Cornell aligns its investment strategy with its commitment to sustainability and alternative energy development, evidenced through its Climate Action Plan

“Though we care very much about a responsible transition, we ’ re not basing our decision on profit margins alone; that’s not what this movement is about We’re asking the University to put people above profits, or at least on the same level,” said Anna-Lisa Castle ’13, who co-authored Resolution 32 “There are experts in the field, as well as global banking firms, that are pointing to divestment as a feasible and crucial movement as we find our way toward a just and sustainable future ”

Carolyn Krupski can be reached at ckrupski@cornellsun com

heard by elected officials

Clements said that most Americans do not support the political domination of the elite and would like to see more of a balance in the election process

“Someone with as much as 10 bucks should count as much as someone with 100 million bucks,” he said

Clement also said that treating corporations like people the premise of Citizens United, which extends the First Amendment right to free speech to corporations has led to corporate influence in politics

“This idea that corporations are the same as people can have such a detrimental impact [having the effect of striking] down laws that are essentially inconvenient to cor-

Continued from page 1 Rudy Yoder can be reached at myoder@cornellsun com

porations,” Clements said Clement argued that corporations are not human beings, and that they should not be protected under the Bill of Rights

As a solution to the Citizens United ruling, Clement proposed creating a twenty-eighth amendment to our Constitution overturning the decision Although Clement said he recognizes that passing an amendment is not an easy task, he said it that it is a realistic goal, based on the reality testing that he has done so far

So far, more than 500 cities and towns, 11 states, 2,000 business leaders and religious leaders have expressed support for the twenty eighth-amendment, according to Clement

Refusing to Answer Citizenship

Quer y, Two Students Arrested

-mentation, but because they wanted to put up an act of civil resistance

“Nancy and I are U S citizens, so it’s not for that reason that we were refusing to identify ourselves We refused to answer because we think that it is an unauthorized form of intimidation and harassment that has become naturalized and normalized in the border region,” Figueredo said “ We know that we are not obligated by any law to answer those questions as long as we ’ re in the U S territor y ”

Standards for enforcement activities state that a person has the legal right to not answer border patrol agents ’ questions about their citizenship status and walk away without fear of arrest if there is no reasonable suspicion that the person is undocumented or poses a threat, according to the US Depar tment of Justice’s website

However, according to Peter Williamson, an immigration lawyer based in Houston, Texas, when a person is in an area that is close to the border which includes airpor ts near the border “all the r ules change ”

“ When you ’ re at the functional equivalent of a border, you ’ ve got to convince [border patrol agents] that you ’ re a citizen, and that means they can ask who you are and what your citizenship is,” Williamson said “ You’ve got the burden of identifying yourself and saying what your citizenship is If you don’t, they can take you into custody ”

According to a repor t by the Pe w Hispanic Center released in April 2012, about 58 percent of an estimated 11 2 million illegal imnmigrants in the U S are from Mexico Critics of undocumented immigrants say they diver t resources from U S citizens

What turned out to be a ver y long day for the t w o s t u d e n t s s t a r t e d e a r l y Tu e s d a y m o r n i n g when, following a two week visit to Texas, Morales and Figueredo were waiting to board their 6:15 a m flight to Houston to return to Ithaca

“ We were just returning back to Ithaca so we can go back to our work,” Figueredo said

After having checked their bags, the two stud e n t s w e r e

n l i n e t o p r o c e e d t h r o u g

Transpor tation Screening Administration an area that screens carr y-on items and asks for p

approached by two border patrol agents who

Figueredo said

W

answer the question, “[border patrol agents] wouldn’t let [them] keep walking and go through the TSA screening area ” As a result, the students missed their flight

After missing their initial flight, Figueredo and Morales booked a second flight that left at 11:51 a m , according to Figueredo Again, the border patrol agents asked about their citizenship status and the students refused to answer

Police then arrested Figueredo, not telling him what they were arresting him for, according to Figueredo

“ Two or more officers just handcuffed me and dragged me out of the airpor t, ” Figueredo said Morales, who was videotaping the arrest, followed officers as they took Figueredo to a police

crime?” according to the video footage

The two were taken to jail, where they were

eventually released on bond

Figueredo explained his motivation in refusing to answer about his citizenship status in an email to his friends on Tuesday

“I’m doing this because I gre w up for a long time thinking that it was ‘normal’ for this kind of harassment to occur, ” Figueredo said in the email “I don’t think/know that this will change anything in terms of existing authorizations and legalizations, but I’m doing it for my younger self who had to endure this kind of shit for so many years, never knowing that it was possible to resist ”

,

Figueredo said that their refusal to answer the border patrol agent ’ s question “ was par t of a large trend of people refusing to answer what they say are unwarranted and racially targeted questions at border patrol checkpoints, and then uploading video footage online ” Figueredo recorded the confrontation with his iPhone and broadcasted it for people across the countr y to see

Figueredo and Morales will be staying in Brownsville until details about how they will proceed with the case become more clear, according to Figueredo

n c re d i b l y g

s

u i n e , s m a r t , f u n n y, c y n i c a l p e rs o n w h o we a re g o i n g t o m i s s e ve r y s i n g l e d a y f

ve r “ I c a n ’ t i m a g i n e a d a y w h e re I w o n ’ t t h i n k o f h i m , ” Ma n g i a r a t t i s a i d O t h e r f r i e n d s a l s o n o t e d Qu a n d t ’ s va l u e a s a f r i e n d “ I h a d s o m e r e a l l y t o u g h t i m e s f re s h m a n ye a r, a n d h e w a s a l w a y s t h e re Yo u c o u l d j u s t c a l l h i m u p a t 3 a m a n d h e w o u l d a l w a y s c o m e v i s i t yo u a n d t a l k a b o u t a n y t h i n g ,

i s d e t e r m i n a t i o n , s e n s e o f h u m o r a n d p a s s i o n f o r u r b a n s t u d i e s “ I d i d n o t h a ve t h e h o n o r o f k n ow i n g Jo e p e r s o n a l l y b u t I ’ ve h a d a c h a n c e t o t a l k t o Jo e ’ s c l a s s m a t e s a n d I r e a l i z e d i n d e e d h ow f o r t u n a t e we a re a t C o r n e l l t o h a ve h a d Jo e a m o n g u s f o r t h e s e p a s t c o u p l e o f ye a r s , ” Mu r p h y s a i d “ He w a s a r e m a r k a b l e y o u n g m a n w h o e n r i c h e d C o r n e l l g re a t l y d u r i n g h i s t i m e h e re , a n d we a re i n a b e t t e r p l a c e b e c a u s e h e c h o s e t o c a l l C o r n e l l h i s h o m e ” Pi k e Ol i ve r, s e n i o r l e c t u re r o f c i t y a n d r e g i o n a l p l a n n i n g , s h a re d c o m m e n t s f ro m s t u d e n t s a b o u t Qu a n d t ’ s c h a r a c t e r a t t h e m e m o r i a l W h e n h e a s k e d s t ud e n t s i n t h e C o l l e g e o f A rc h i t e c t u re , A r t a n d Pl a n n i n g c o m m u n i t y t o c h o o s e o n e w o rd t o d e s c r i b e Qu a n d t ’ s “ e s s e n c e , ” re s p o n s e s i n c l u d e d w o rd s s u c h a s “ a d m i r a b l e , c o m p a s s i o n a t e , g e n u i n e a n d w i s e , ” h e s a i d Gr a f u r g e d a t t e n d e e s t o k e e p p a r t o f Qu a n d t a l i ve i n t h e c o mm u n i t y a n d t o c o n t i n u e c re a t i n g t h e “ r i p p l e s ” h e m a d e a t C o r n e l l by e x t e n d i n g t h e m o u t b e yo n d t h e i r l i ve s G a r r e t t Ja m e s C r a i g - L u c a s ’ 1 6 s a i d Qu a n d t h a d a p ro f o u n d i n f l u e n c e o n t h e p e o p l e i n h i s l i f e “ I m e t h i m a f t e r I g o t m y a c c e p t a n c e , a n d h e w a s o n e o f t h e p e o p l e t h a t re a l l y d re w m e t o t h e [ A A P ] p ro g r a m , ” Cr a i gLu c a s s a i d “ He w a s c o m p a ss i o n a t e , re a l l y e a s y t o c o n n e c t w i t h a n d e xc i t i n g ” C a m i l l e Ma n g i a r a t t i ’ 1 6 , a f r i e n d o f Qu a n d t , re m e m b e re d h e r f r i e n d a s “ a n

DAVID MARTEN ’14

SHAILEE SHAH 14

COURT ’15

FLAX ’15

SAM BROMER 16

COHEN 15

BRYAN CHAN ’15

SCOTT CHIUSANO 15

MEGAN ZHOU 15

BRANDON ARAGON 14

ANNA TSTENER ’14

ERIKA G WHITESTONE 15

CATALINA LEE 15 Assistant Advertising Manager

Editorial

In Supp ort

Of Marria ge Equality

T H I S W E E K , T H E U S S U P R E M E C O U RT H E A R D O R A L A RG U M E N TS

o n t w o c a s e s t h a t w i l l b e s i g n i f i c a n t , o n e w a y o r a n o t h e r, i n s h a p i n g o u r c o u nt r y ’ s a p p ro a c h t o g a y m a r r i a g e Un c e a s i n g u p d a t e s h a ve f l o o d e d o n l i n e n e w s f e e d s , a n d p e o p l e a c ro s s t h e n a t i o n h a ve t a k e n t o t h e we b t o a d vo c a t e t h e i r

b e l i e f s Ma n y o f yo u h a ve d o n e t h e s a m e We h a ve o b s e r ve d v i g o ro u s s u p p o r t f o r m a r r i a g e e q u a l i t y t h a t i s re m i n i s c e n t o f t h e e xc i t e m e n t w i t h w h i c h m a n y C o r n e l l i a n s g re e t e d Ne w Yo rk St a t e ’ s l e g a l i z a t i o n o f g a y m a r r i a g e i n 2 0 1 1 If s t ud e n t s h e re h a ve b e e n a c c u s e d o f p o l i t i c a l a p a t h y o r d i s e n g a g e m e n t f ro m t h e p u bl i c s p h e re , t h e i r p re s e n c e o n s o c i a l m e d i a t h i s we e k h a s c e r t a i n l y c h a l l e n g e d t h a t a s s e r t i o n Drove s o f C o r n e l l i a n s h a ve j o i n e d t h e p a s s i o n a t e a n d u n w a ve r i n g f i g h t f o r m a r r i a g e e q u a l i t y To t h o s e o f yo u a m o n g t h e m : We s t a n d w i t h yo u w h o l eh e a r t e d l y T h e c o m m u n i t y we i n h a b i t a t C o r n e l l o n e w i t h a l a r g e a n d t h r i v i n g l e s b i a n , g a y, b i s e x u a l , t r a n s g e n d e r a n d q u e s t i o n i n g c o m m u n i t y m a k e s t h e c o n t rove r s y s u r ro u n d i n g t h i s i s s u e s e e m a l l t h e m o re i n c re d i b l e Pro f e s s o r s a n d c o u r s e m a t e r i a l s re m i n d u s e ve r y d a y o f t h e m y r i a d s i m i l a r c i v i l r i g h t s m ove m e n t s we h a ve s e e n i n t h i s c o u n t r y Ou r e d u c a t i o n a l l ow s u s t o l o o k b a c k o n h i s t o r y w i t h i n c re d u l i t y, m y st i f i e d t h a t i n s t i t u t i o n a l i ze d d i s c r i m i n a t i o n a g a i n s t w o m e n , A f r i c a n A m e r i c a n s a n d c o u n t l e s s o t h e r g ro u p s p e r s i s t e d i n s u c h re c e n t m e m o r y In a w h i l e a s h o r t w h i l e , we h o p e C o r n e l l i a n s w i l l s t u d y t h e e vo l u t i o n o f g a y r i g h t s i n m u c h t h e s a m e w a y, m a r ve l i n g a t o u r n a t i o n ’ s re l u c t a n c e t o f u l l y e m b r a c e e q u a l i t y We re c o g n i ze t h a t t h e re a re m a n y p e o p l e , i n c l u d i n g m e m b e r s o f t h e C o r n e l l c o mm u n i t y, w h o f e e l s t ro n g l y a b o u t k e e p i n g m a r r i a g e a h e t e ro s e x u a l i n s t i t u t i o n Bu t t h e o b s t r u c t i o n o f e q u a l i t y t h a t t h o s e c o n v i c t i o n s c re a t e i s i n f u r i a t i n g i t s e f f e c t s a re t a n g i b l e , a n d t h e re a c h o f i t s c o n s e q u e n c e s e x t e n d t o o u r f e l l ow C o r n e l l i a n s De s p i t e t h e p ro g re s s m a d e i n Ne w Yo rk , m a n y o f o u r c l a s s m a t e s , o u r f r i e n d s a n d o u r ro o mm a t e s w i l l g r a d u a t e f ro m C o r n e l l a n d re t u r n t o h o m e s w h e re t h e y a re d e n i e d t h e r i g h t t o m a r r y t h e p e r s o n t h e y l ove T h i s i s a t r u t h we a re u n w i l l i n g t o a c c e p t A s s t u d e n t s , t h e o n u s w i l l b e o n u s t o d e t e r m i n e h ow s o o n e q u a l i t y i s a c h i e ve d i n t h i s c o u n t r y L e t u s b e t h e g e n e r a t i o n t h a t a f f e c t s p o s i t i ve c h a n g e , r a t h e r t h a n t h e g e ne r a t i o n d i s d a i n e d by o u r c h i l d re n f o r o u r f a i l u re t o d o s o

o f E d u c a t i o n ! Pa y

a t t e n t i o n ! A n y w a y, I c a n ’ t s t o p t h i n k i n g a n d re a d i n g a b o u t i t , s o I re a l l y c o u l d n ’ t

w r i t e a b o u t a n y t h i n g e l s e t h i s w e e k G a y

p e o p l e s h o u l d b e a l l ow e d t o g e t m a r r i e d

b e c a u s e t h e y a re p e o p l e , b u t i n c a s e y o u

a re n ’ t c o n v i n c e d b y t h a t a r g u m e n t a l o n e ,

h e re a re s o m e l e s s - p u b l i c i z e d a d v a n t a g e s t o t h e l e g a l i z a t i o n o f g a y m a r r i a g e 1 It w i l l b e g re a t f o r t h e e c o n o m y

L e g a l i z i n g m a r r i a g e f o r a n y t w o p e o p l e

o p e n s u p a h u g e m a r k e t f o r t h e w e d d i n g i n d u s t r y Ju s t i m a g i n e t h e ov e r - t h e - t o p

e x p e n s i v e w e d d i n g a s t e re o t y p i c a l g a y

m a n w o u l d t h r ow E x p e n s i v e o r n o t ,

m o re w e d d i n g s m e a n s m o re j o b s a n d s t r o n g e r s m a l l b u s i n e s s e s t h a t d o m i n a t e

t h e w e d d i n g i n d u s t r y 2 Sp e a k i n g o f o v e r - t h e - t o p w e dd i n g s , h ow f u n w o u l d i t b e t o g o t o t h e s e w e d d i n g s ? In m y e x p e r i e n c e , g a y p e o p l e k n ow h ow t o h a v e f u n T h e y h a v e t o d e a l w i t h s o m u c h c r a p f r o m s o c i e t y t h a t w h e n t h e y g e t l o o s e , t h e y g e t re a l l o o s e

D o n ’ t e v e n g e t m e s t a r t e d o n

b a c h e l o r ( e t t e ) p a r t i e s 3 G a y w e d d i n g s w o u l d a l s o e l i m i n a t e

t h e w h o l e c r a z y p re s s u re t h e re i s o n u s

h e t e r o s e x u a l s t o b r i n g a r o m a n t i c d a t e t o

t h e e v e n t : b r i n g i n g a s a m e - s e x b u d d y i s

m o re t h a n o k a y 4 A l l o f m y g a y g u y f r i e n d s c a n p a r -

t i c i p a t e i n m y f a v o r i t e p a s t - t i m e :

“ Hu s b a n d Wa t c h 2 0 1 3 ”

5 Gay youth would have more role

models to, well, model themselves after I feel like when I was younger, if I had thought I was a lesbian, it would have been much less confusing if I saw lesbian couples validated as much as straight couples

6 Mo re Fa c e b o o k w e d d i n g a l b u m s t o s t a l k 7 I f l e s b i a n s a re a l l ow e d t o g e t m a rr i e d , m o re w o m e n m a y w e a r t u xe d o s Is

e a l l o f t h e s t a t e s a l o t o f t i m e a n d e f f

e n t h e i n s t i t u t i o n o f m a r r i a g e , n o t w e a k e n i t 1 2 L a s t l y, t h e re w i l l b e m o re f a n c

Morgan Bookheimer is a senior in the College of Human Ecolog y She may be reached at mbookheimer@cor nellsun com Behind the Time appears alter nate Thursdays this semester

CORRECTION

A p re v i o u s ve r s i o n o f a Ma rc h 2 5 n e w s a r t i c l e , " Pe r

e m e n t a $ 1 - m i l l i o n b u d g e t c u t i n 2 0 1 1 In f a c t , i t h a d t w o ye a r s , b e g i n n i n g i n 2 0 1 0

PLEASE LIMIT GUEST COLUMNS TO NO MORE THAN 850 WORDS AND LETTERS TO NO MORE THAN 500 WORDS

Spring break is over, and it’s time to start gearing up for midterms You’re stuck in the library studying, and a fun night looks further away than an A in orgo Don’t worry, I’ve got your back This week, I’m here to tell you how to woo the library hottie, that ravishing reference book reader, the one you put your heart on reserve for I may be stating the obvious when I say that the library is not normally conducive to picking up a quick fling, but after many trials and too many tribulations, I have hit upon a set of reasonably sure-fire tips for going from checking out to checking out

The first step is to establish that you can read It’s likely that that’s the case, but I know some tribal leaders in Papua New Guinea who read my column to their illiterate tribesmen (Bilong me hangamapim bot stap pulap maleo!), so I’m just erring on the side of caution You probably won ’ t need to prove this, but it s best to be prepared Second, be in a library The Hotel School library doesn’t count, ’ cause seriously, I bet you didn’t even know the Hotel School had a library until just now (Nestlé Library holla at me Toll House!) Once you ’ ve

a c c o m p

o g e t down to business

The most important t h i n g i s t o b a s e yo u r approach on the type of book your target is reading

Jimothy

Singh

| Quest for the Perfect Tale

S ex Between the Lines

Reference Book

This is the easiest as it only requires a single fact Once you know the general type of book he or she is reading (primarily done by looking for any word on the page and then Googling it), look up a general topic that relates to it My go-to topic is usually pastry It’s unexpected, but not totally implausible If the person happens to be researching pastries, I would suggest using “ war ” as your topic of choice

On c e yo u have a topic in m i n d ( a n c i e n t Greek pastries, p a s t r i e s i n V i c t o r i a n Literature, the Wa r o f 1 8 1 2 Pies, etc ), go up and ask if you can borrow the book for a quick second BAM! Conversation Great success Now I hate to generalize about people who use reference books, but you ’ ve pretty much got sex in the bag Or the library, or a bed or wherever you decide to have sex

After many trials and too many tribulations, I have hit upon a set of reasonably sure-fire tips for going from checking out to checking out.

enigmatically and act real surprised: “Are you reading Volapük!?” He or she won ’ t be But now here’s your time to shine: “Oh, really? What are you reading then? Uh huh, man, that’s cool, I’ve always wanted to learn NAME OF THE LANGUAGE ” If he or she asks about Volapük, just shrug it off as a dialect of German or something, don’t get i n t o s p e c i f i c s On c e yo u ’ ve e s t a b l i s h e d whether or not he/she’s actually busy (he/she won ’ t be, because you ’ ve taken my advice a n d u n d o u b te d l y a re e x u d i n g sex appeal), a s k i f he/she has t i m e t h a t n i g h t t o t e a c h yo u

the basics of the language because you really need to use it for your thesis/roomates/cursi n g i n St a rc r a f t / t a l k i n g t o yo u r g r a n

Internet

A Language You Don’t Speak

A little harder, but is going to require a little je ne sais quoi That’s a lie; I totally know what you need You need Volapük You don’t know what Volapük is? That’s great, the person you ’ re talking to probably doesn’t either It’s obscure, you ’ re obscure People in the library love mysteries Sidle up

Anything Else (a k a Someone Who’s Actually Working)

Definitely the hardest and likely the majority of all people you will see in the library, except of course the assholes who use the computers to check Facebook when you really need to print something I tend to use a note or a well-aimed paper airplane Walk by and say to your object of desire that

Rhe/she dropped something and give her the slip of paper Contents of the note can be anything from a provocative call number, such as S3X N 0W PLZ, to a reference database you think he/she may have overlooked Since Cornellians are generally opposed to doing anything but studying, you might be doomed to a cold bed, but if you get lucky and the person does not pierce you with a

accomplished something for the histor y books

A Librarian

Keep going up and checking out suggestive books like Sleep With Me by Hanif Kureishi or Want Sex by Gang Zhao If that’s not obvious enough, start writing your phone number where they go to stamp the books Finally, if neither of those two work, saunter up casually, lean over the desk and say, “I’d file you under ‘Bibliographies of Mo

number over, and then leave This always works for me Or at least, I should say that it’s never not worked for me

After that, it’s all you I can get you into the door, but I can ’ t make your date dinner, sweet talk him/her and then go upstairs and ravage his/her body for you (though, in certain situations, I totally will )

Jimothy Singh is a senior in the College of Arts and Sciences He may be reached at jsingh@cornellsun com Quest for the Perfect Tale appears alternate Thursdays this semester

iddle me this: What looks exactly the same flipped over as it does right side up, has two mouths but breathes no air and leaves 8th grade children chuckling whenever it appears? It’s mutual pleasure without sex It’s forgetting you hate giving blowjobs because you are immersed in ecstasy Its called 69, and it’s opening at a theater near you (NC-17 of course)

In my experience, the act of simultaneous oral is quite wonderful and satisfying, however, getting it going is as awkward as introducing your mother to your collection of sex toys To get my 9 on his 6, I usually go with the technique of “pretend nothing is happening ” I appreciate the element of surprise and so I start by giving the regular, yet exceptional blowy, and while he’s distracted, move my body slowly up the bed while maintaining dick in mouth status Its like a spinning top but instead of a sharp tip to spin on, it’s a rounded head So, if you follow, I am now facing his feet with my body beside his while he groans with sweet satisfaction He is yet to realize though that soon I will be lowering my whole self onto his face I hope he enjoys that last gasp of air While he is in this somewhat meditative state, I saddle up and hop on And once there is a mutual understanding that we have entered a two-way street, comfort and passion are restored and orgasm may commence

One may also opt for the “ one, two, three, lift and flip” strategy This requires lots of communication and leaves little room for hesitation With one motion, the guy grabs his girl by the waist and turns her body while she pushes off the bed, legs and arms suspended momentarily; think horizontal bal-

Mona G. | Erotic Epiphanies

let It may take a moment to get a rhythm going, but this move will afford a quick and dirty beginning to a wild night Now, it’s hard enough to stay afloat on top of your man when you take into account all that you ’ re taking into your mouth Dicks do not, in my experience, suck themselves, and so during 69, one must move one ’ s body to generously accept and then playfully deny the penis back and forth motion, while playing balance on my belly Maybe you should try this sober the first few times, because coordination and balance are

I hope that when you feel quite ready and quite comfortable with yourself ... you will participate in this coveted pursuit until you both fall over in ecstasy.

handy skills when your attempt at a handy was just not cutting it Picture this: girl on top, flipped to face his feet Her toes reaching out above his head ground her to the bed She is rocking herself, belly touching belly, while his tongue is playing with her plushy pink playground (but this playground ain’t kid-friendly) She must use her Pilates core strength to neutralize the pleasuring movements from under as to stay safely on top To fall over would be disastrous, penis in mouth, girl rolling to the side Sounds like the boys reading this now just grabbed their groins in instinctive empathetic pain Now, I don’t mean to be heteronormative it’s just what

I know best However, in order to be most inclusive, I have retrieved first hand information on the intricacies of the dualcock 69 I had always been led to believe that there was much difficulty in getting this to work out I mean, how does the one on bottom perform the act? It seems as though a stationary person may not give great blowjobs, but maybe the boy on top just makes the moves for the both of them, humping along until culmination However, I now know that there is ease in the act both partners just need to give each other some room to maintain movement To better understand such movements, I feel another metaphor is in order Think of those old coal miners To get to their destination deep inside the cool dark mine, they would switch off pushing down and then releasing a lever attached to their rail car Up, down, up, down, in, out, in, out This coordinated movement is the only way to efficiently get where they were going So is true of the gay 69

To complete any sort of 69, involving no cock, one cock, black cock, two cocks, you must have balance and persistence, little to no gag reflex and the tolerance to stick your nose in places they shouldn’t be (and I’m not referring to your girlfriend’s journal) I hope that when you feel quite ready and quite comfortable with yourself, your partner and your partner ’ s bottom side, you will participate in this coveted pursuit until you both fall over in ecstasy

Mona G is a senior in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences She may be reached at monag@cornellsun com Erotic Epiphanies appears alternate Thursdays this semester

Dining Guide

Foodie Face-Of f: Four Seasons vs. Koko

By ZACHARY SIEGEL Sun Staff Writer

With a huge variety of tasty, filling and inexpensive choices, Four Seasons has made me a fan of the often overlooked Korean cuisine, the best of which resides on Eddy Street FOOD

My personal favorite appetizer is the duk bok ki (stir fried rice cakes with vegetables) The crunchy veggies, sautéed in a sweet and spicy sauce, contrast with

thick, cylindrical noodles Other highlights include any of the panjun dishes, or pancakes with a variety of fillings

For main dishes, the sliced pork Korean BBQ is tender and flavorful, and the ser ving is gigantic

The soups ser ve as Korean comfort food

One even promises to “chase hangovers,” but that remains unconfirmed by me or any of my fellow diners

The jaeyook kimchi is strange and

funky; spicy slices of pork and chunks of tofu accompany small, quarter-sized rice noodles in a heap of kimchi The unique flavor of kimchi makes jaeyook kimchi a wholly and unequivocally Korean dish The dish is crunchy, chewy, spicy, sour, really weird and really good

Another outstanding entrée is the ojingoh dolsot bibim bap

Chunks of squid top rice cooked with peppers and onions in a spicy chili sauce are

ser ved in a sizzling stone bowl Sure, the squid can sometimes get a little chewy (read: rubbery), but this dish has never failed to please when I come in with an empty stomach SERVICE

The ser vice at Four Seasons is quick and often entertaining The staff recognizes returning customers and remembers favorite dishes

The food comes without much wait, making Four Seasons an ideal stop for a quick weekday lunch VALUE

AND FINAL WORD

Dinner at Four Seasons can be a little expensive, which is why I recommend their lunch special

The lunch boxes, each under $10, include fried rice, salad, dumplings, noodles and a choice of meat

A steal, indeed Four Seasons has become my go-to lunch spot in Collegetown The food is satisfying, the service is solid and I don’t need to spend too much to get a full meal Whether you ’ re a Korean food novice or a kimchi connoisseur, bring your appetite to Four Seasons

Zachary Siegel can be reached at zsiegel @cornellsun com

By CLARE DOUGAN Sun Staff Writer

To the average diner unfamiliar with Korean cuisine, Koko certainly holds up But a few flaws make Koko fall short of Four Seasons in quality of food and experience FOOD

Before our entrées arrived, we were presented with a number of side dishes There were two varieties of kimchi, as well as one small plate of marinated bean sprouts and cubed potato in a mild sauce The crowning glory was a small bubbling pot of gyeran jjim, a steamed egg dish with a subtle brothy flavor and a silken texture It paired perfectly with my friend’s bibimbap entree She opted for the cold variety, which is a bit more like a salad than a stir fry, and dressed it with plenty of gochujang, or Korean hot sauce She wasn ’ t a fan of the marinated mushrooms, finding them a bit too salty, but I enjoyed the intense marinade

My bulgogi was tasty, tender and perfectly portioned, but not as transcendent as bulgogi I’ve had elsewhere Also, the fact that it wasn ’ t sizzling in the cast-iron pan gave me

p a u s e , e s p e c i a l l y c o n s i d e r i n g t h e speed with which our meal arrived It seemed unlikely that the meat could have been cooked so quickly, and I

suspect it may have been reheated I’m going to stick to Asian Cuisine on Aurora Street when future bulgogi cravings arise SERVICE

If Koko excels in one category in particular, it is in the treatment of its customers Our meal arrived extremely fast –– almost too fast, as my dining companion said, which, given the temperature of my meal as mentioned above, could be true The friendliness of our waiter was on par with the speed with which our food was served, and he even stopped by our table to aid us in identifying and consuming our banchan correctly while we puzzled over how exactly to use them to our best advantage

VALUE AND FINAL WORD

Entrée prices on the menu at Koko fell, for the most part, within a range of $12 to $17 While I’ve had heftier bills, I’m also not the type to spend that for an average meal, especially considering the fact that we only ordered one thing each Considering those prices, I’d save return trips to Koko for special occasions or parental visits While the experience wasn ’ t particularly negative, I don’t plan on becoming a regular

Clare Dougan can be reached at cdougan@cornellsun com

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

The Strokes we were introduced to all those many years ago before 9/11, before the garage rock explosion and before radio-bound guitar music was defined by its proximity to Mumford and Sons are a lot different than the guys we are listening to on Comedown Machine Having weathered the entirety of their fivealbum recording contract with RCA, The Strokes are now husbands, fathers and music industr y veterans It might be time for ever yone to realize that the magic of The Strokes’ first album may have relied heavily on the young band’s boozy nonchalance That young cadre of over-privileged, well-dressed Manhattanites recorded an album in the face of deafening hype and named it in the m o s t s e l f - d e p re c a t i n g m a n n e r p o s s

naysayers to the punch: Is This It? Those speed-addled youths of yester year crapped out classics and, during recording, broke out into stifled laughter at how easy it all seemed

Nowadays, we are dealing with a band of professionals They’ve under taken their vanity projects, they’ve resolved their interpersonal issues and they’ve released their fifth album Professionalism is by no means a negative here Julian Casablancas and company, at this point, know ver y well how to write a good Strokes song “All The Time” is as good as anything The Strokes have recorded since First Impressions of Ear th; that signature

Valensi, Julian’s insouciant croon and those distinct guitar tones stand to remind us that these guys practically invented this shit The aggressive guitar riff and snarling vocal deliver y on “50/50” lends the album a visceral tint, recalling manic turns like “Ne w York City Cops” or “Juicebox ” Following the synth-heavy experiments of Angles, the ne wfound reliance on the songwriting tricks of old works far better than one might anticipate The Strokes sound reinvigorated rather than limited

Of course, what’s a ne w Strokes album without Julian’s own subdued reinterpretations of 80s pop? There’s the a-ha indebted “One Way Trigger,” the sci-fi exposition of “ Tap Out” and the explicit homage of “80s Comedown Machine ” It makes for a unique retro blend: 60s garage, 70s punk and 80s synth-pop as interpreted by children of the 90s There’s something profound here to be said about misplaced nostalgia, but I’m too distracted by Julian’s prevalent falsetto to really follow through with it Seriously: there’s hardly a track that goes by where Casablancas doesn’t shoot for that upper register It isn’t entirely unpleasant, but for a band that was initially praised for its salt-of-the-ear th approach to rock, it has always seemed somehow incongr uent

There is plenty of pleasure to be had on Comedown Machine: The Strokes are working well as a unit here,

Ever since Violator launched them into the pop-culture stratosphere, the men of Depeche Mode have been churning out a new album about every four years This year ’ s record, Delta Machine, is one of band members Dave Gahan, Martin Gore and Andy Fletcher’s better efforts, and it manages to replicate the melancholic synth-pop that gained the group legions of fans

From the first track, “Welcome to My World,” the voice of lead singer Dave Gahan croons over a background of heavy beats and distorted synths The vocals are one of the strong points of the record, and the songs sound the best when Gahan is allowed to experiment He brings a creepy, hallucinatory tone to the otherwise dreamy “The Child Inside” and dark sensuality to “Slow ” But many of the tracks fall into a pattern of relying on Gahan’s vocals to bring power and interest to otherwise slow and sonorous rhythms

Depeche Mode is known for lyrics full of religious allusions and soul imagery, and this album does not hold back “I couldn’t save your soul / I couldn’t even take you home,” Gahan moans in “Alone ” Most of the time, the slight mys-

Ph o s p

bir thing plenty of satisfying hooks and, on songs like “All The Time,” “ Tap Out” and “50/50,” occasionally flir ting with the magnificent highs of their past triumphs Closer “Call It Fate, Call It Karma,” however, indicates a possible roadmap for ward The track, a delicate lullaby reminiscent of The Velvet Underground’s laid-back self-titled effor t, is shambled and melancholy, with Julian beckoning: “Can I waste all your time here on the side walk? / Can I stand in your light just for a while?” It’s a surprising twist ending to an album that mostly colored within the lines, revealing that these former leather-clad rockers might have a future exploring their tender side Comedown Machine may not be the t h r i l l i n g c o n c l u s i o n t h a t RC A’s e x e c u t i v e s w e r e undoubtedly awaiting, but it shows that The Strokes are in good shape and, freed from the shackles of major label ser vitude, may till more fer tile grounds in the future

Or they could break up tomorrow After all, on “Call It Fate, Call It Karma,” Julian requests: “Close the door / Not all the way ” Who knows? At the ver y least, they’ve left us another reminder of what they do well, even if it’s far from per fect

James Rainis is a junior in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences He can be contacted at jrainis@cornellsun com

ticism of the lyrics compliment the energy of the record But the lyrics can veer into the realm of high school poetry; when the listener is warned that, “I’ll penetrate your soul / I’ll bleed into your eyes, ” it is hard to take the music seriously The album is rather sleep-inducing up until “Soft Touch / Raw Nerve” when the beats get punchier and more urgent The synths become grittier, glitchy and industrial in “Should Be Higher ” The addition of blues guitar riffs on the last track, aptly-titled “Goodbye,” makes it one of the more complex and powerful tracks on the record However, the burst of energy that closes the album feels rushed and a little out of place with the first half of the album

A few tracks succeed in updating Depeche’s sound, but others play like something Muse’s tired uncle would produce Listening to Delta Machine was enjoyable, but it will make very little impact in the constantly evolving world of music

Though it sounds paradoxical, upon first listen, I found Muchacho the sixth album by Phosphorescent, Matthew Houck’s musical moniker to be annoyingly placid Surely an album that evokes such contentedness must be lacking in depth, right? Isn’t good art necessarily the product of emotional extremes? Wrong

While Muchacho addresses the usual topics lost love, failed relationships, terrible mistakes it does so from a refreshingly different vantage point Whereas The Antlers’ Hospice drops the listener right in the midst of emotional tumult, Muchacho is more reflective It is the voice of someone who has experienced those ups-and-downs, and can now look back and be okay with everything On the opening track, “Sun, Arise! (An Invocation, An Introduction)”, Houck proclaims, “Sun a-rising, ease, easy-oh / Dark as I been, ease, easy-oh ” This clichéd yet resonant and evocative image introduces the album’s most recurrent theme: redemption It is about being conscious of one ’ s past, considering it, but not dwelling on it

Sonically, the album perfectly mirrors these themes There is a certain warmth and wholeness to the production All of the instruments, which range from horns and violins to guitars and layered vocals, seem

to melt together into an effortlessly gorgeous whole The sheer beauty of the music reaffirms that this is indeed a hopeful album, but Houck’s optimism is not rooted in ignorance; rather, it is a product of his experiences On “Muchaco’s Tune,” arguably the centerpiece of the album, he says, “Hey, I’ve been fucked up and I’ve been a fool / But like the shepherd to the lamb / Like the wave unto the sand / I’ll fix myself up to come and be with you ” The neutrality and objectivity that persists throughout the album is more powerful and reassuring than it initially appears He is not apologetic, nor defensive

This is an album about moving on without forgetting the past, about learning from one ’ s mistakes and being conscious of one ’ s faults to ensure happiness for one ’ s future While this is a cliché, clichés are clichés for a reason: They contain an arguably universal truth Houck manages to take this truth and personalize it in such a way that it becomes not a hackneyed, heavy-handed annoyance, but a lush, lifeaffirming work of art

Wavves’s latest LP, Afraid of Heights, is best summed up by the title of its bonus track, “Hippies is Punks ” Since Nathan Williams began Wavves five years ago with its eponymous debut, he’s been straddling the line of sunny West Coast surf rock and depressing lo-fi punk Most Wavves listeners probably haven’t heard the band’s first two albums, and Williams recognizes this Each album since Wavves’s second LP Wavvves (note the three v ’s) has increased in production quality in an attempt to draw a wider audience This album is the peak of Williams’s attempt for mainstream appeal, driven by producer John Hill, who makes his presence felt Wavves is a contradiction There are the obvious surf rock sensibilities, which conjure up images of palm trees, sun, and sand Nathan Williams even released a Wavvesbranded line of weed grinders back in 2010 to show the world how chill he was The band can turn up the distortion, though, and with Williams’ insecure, depressed lyrics they have essentially created skate music for surfers especially on Afraid of Heights, which is even darker than the band’s earlier projects As Nathan Williams (and John Hill) must have calculated, this is music that appeals to both coasts

Williams’s choice to hire Hill and make a deliberately mainstream album could have been financial, since Afraid of Heights was completely self-funded, and Williams

w

Whatever the reason, Josh Hill (who has worked with the likes of P!nk, Rihanna, and M I A ) made Wavves’s latest album objectively well-produced But at times he went overboard A punk album doesn’t need five tracks with strings, for example And he was obviously the driving force on “Ever ything Is My Fault,” a track that embraces the minimalist electronic trend because, well, that’s what mainstream indie bands are supposed to do in 2013 All this track does, though, is break up the album’s pacing and its character

Afraid of Heights is a bird-to-the-world, white boy struggle album with an intense self-loathing streak Failed a prelim or got dumped by a girl? Blast “Lunge For ward” and rage Forgot your Prozac? Mope to Dog,” a chill surf song with lyrics about a dire lack of self-worth Need something a bit more tender? Tr y “Cop,” a cute, tender song in which the singer’s homosexual love interest just killed a policeman Nathan Williams proclaimed his Nir vana (and Foo Fighters) allegiance on 2011’s Life Sux EP, “I Wanna Meet Dave Grohl ” Afraid of Heights’ “ That’s On Me” follows this trend by sounding almost like it could have been a track on Nevermind He’s clearly a Weezer aficionado, too Afraid of Heights’ title track is a darker yet more youthful “Say it Ain’t So,” complete with lyrics about finding Jesus With the Weezer worship comes Weezeresque pacing problems True noise punk is usually based

The Met’s Deceit

With Tilda Swinton sleeping in a box at the MoMA and our beloved Johnson Museum grabbing primo half-page ad space in the Sunday New York Times, museums have been on my brain Despite my ardent intention to renounce all thoughts regarding academia this break, seeing the new blockbuster Impressionism exhibition at the Met was on the to-do list Even in my week of fucks not given and guiltless inactivity (read: spring break), I got my ass up off the couch long enough to holla at dem Renoirs

And though anyone who’s been to the Met more than once would probably catch on to the fact that the purported $25 admission fee is “recommended” and not “required,” I do still feel super stealthy when I slide over my donation of, like, four bucks (shamelessly, sometimes even less) for a ticket to this New York institution And just the same, every time I feel the guilt creep up for my meager donation until I pay $9+ for a Hoegaarden on the rooftop garden café However, this time when I asked for a ticket from the teller, she immediately rung me up for the recommended price What gives, Met? Had I not known any better, I would’ve forked over the cash, but since I’ve been privy to this admissions policy ever since my Latin teacher taught me the meaning of “ancillary fee” in the ninth grade, I held strong as I slid over my wimpy singles I got a moderately dirty look in response I wasn ’ t too perturbed by her stank eye, but it did get me thinking that the cashier’s nudging was pretty clever Like really clever I mean, have you ever seen a tourist not put up the cash? Wait so clever that it could be illegal?

Actually, that’s not inaccurate

Soon after, I learnt of a new lawsuit, which accuses the Met of deception for using misleading marketing and cashier training to dupe unwary visitors into paying more

The lawyers on the case are former patrons who believe the small, unbolded type of “recommended” on the price list violates 1893 New York state law, which mandates that the public should be admitted for free at least five days and two evenings a week If successful, the suit would not only change the admissions policy, more explicit signage but also reimburse recent visitors who believe they were misled

The museum defends itself by pointing out that the 1893

law had been superseded in 1970 when the city of New York agreed to allow the Met to charge a fee so long as the public was allowed to determine it The Met contends that only about 40 percent of visitors pay full price, and the gate proceeds go towards free entrance for special exhibitions, but there still seems to be some type of duplicity afoot I later learnt by inquiring friends and observing the lobby interactions that this confusion and aggressive nudging was a very common occurrence, stank eye included It seems, then, that the museum nearly shames the visitor into paying

Remembering the requisite guilt that accompanies my own paltry donation, I know the feeling well, and mind you, this is coming from a girl who once pretended to be a mom to her three high school peers so they could enter the MoMA under the child’s fare (which actually worked) Further, the Met’s deceit only seems all the more intentional when considering the abundant signage upon entrance which advocates becoming a member of the museum, for which you will receive the benefit of free admission This, of course, implies that free admission is not currently the default

So should you feel guilty for not paying the Met’s recommended fee? On one hand, $25 to experience some of the world’s most masterful art and artifacts is a steal On the other hand, consider that not even the Louvre charges so much (not to mention that most U K museums are free) But shelling out the $25 means you ’ re a decent person looking to support cultural institutions, right? Well, as it turns out, not really Though the Metropolitan Museum of Art is a non-profit, and logic says that non-profits are struggling in this economy, the Met is actually balls deep in the cash flow As one of the world’s richest cultural institutions, it currently holds a $2 58 billion investment portfolio, and only 11 percent of its operating expenses were covered by gate proceeds in the 2012 fiscal year Besides, the museum is required by law to maintain this loose pricing, and it gets a sweet deal in exchange: annual grants from the city and free rent for its coveted spot along Central Park (state-owned property) Not to mention, you really are paying for your ticket even if you ’ re not consciously paying for admission each

on quasi-developed musical ideas, and Wavves excelled at that on its first few LPs It gave listeners with some headbanging sonic exploration but also left a lot to their imagination Making Afraid of Heights an accessible, mainstream album meant fleshing out ever y single idea, and even though its energy rarely fades, the album can drag on at times

With its new, intentional widespread appeal, Wavves could be this decade’s mature, shadowy, lyrically expressive answer to Sum 41 (by the time this goes to press, they’ll have been on Letterman, for Pete’s sake) A track like “Demon to Lean On” clearly panders to the suburbanite whose adolescent problems were solved by rocking out to Simple Plan This may not be what Williams wants to hear, but the song ’ s whiny lyrics and thumping bass line sound a bit like Blink 182 (but not in the worst way)

As a huge fan of lo-fi recording for simple, distorted, garage-y music, I’ve found it hard over the years to come to terms with Wavves’s move toward professional production Could the band’s latest effort alienate some of its original fans? Maybe Is this the closest Wavves has come to being what Ben Folds so beautifully mocked in “Rockin’ the Suburbs?” Yes Most listeners shouldn’t care, though Afraid of Heights is some damn good music

Michael Sosnick is a freshman in the College of Arts and Sciences He can be reached at mhs256@cornell edu

time thanks to your tax bill, of course

With numbers as large as $2 58 billion, it’s easy to simplify the situation and conclude that the Met is rolling in dough Well, it is kind of, at least but it’s not this straightforward After all, the operating budget and the investment portfolio are not totally related to each other, and it is common in museums for only a small portion of operating expenses to come from admissions charges It’s not as if the Met could sell any one of its priceless masterpieces for capital should they run low It is bound by strict laws forbidding this practice, as each piece loses all monetary value and instead acquires solely cultural value upon acquisition This means no money is translated, but much money is spent in the conservation and restoration of these works

So, in general, no, you shouldn’t feel guilty for not paying the Met’s recommended fee, but maybe the Met should feel guilty for their dickish front desk behavior If you really wanted to, you could march up to the cashier and in exchange for your ticket, ask them to break a penny if you ’ re feeling particularly like an asshole when they charge you the full price Though it’s doubtful that this new lawsuit would dramatically alter the Met’s policies, or even reimburse any of those duped customers, it’s a nice thought that publicity around the case could bring to light to future visitors that admission is, in fact, only recommended Unfortunately, you do still have to pay the actual fare at the MoMA, which is coincidentally also $25 Save up and hop over to check if Tilda Swinton, that walking Scottish enigma, is still sleeping in her glass box like a modern androgynous Snow White If you happen to catch her on one of the remaining randomly selected six days of the year in which she will sleep, remind yourself that you will never really understand performance art

Alice Wang is a sophomore in the College of Human Ecolog y She can be reached at awang@cornellsun com Profanity Prayers appears alternate Thursdays this semester

Sun Sudoku

Piled Higher and Deeper

. U . L a x e r s R e a d y f or B i g G re e n , S e ni or D a y

M LACROSSE

Continued from page 16

to an early lead and to get ever yone on the sidelines in the game by the time it was over The sidelines do an unbelievable job with raising the level energy over the course of a game and work so hard in practice ever y day, it was nice to see them on the field and to be able to cheer for them,” Pannell said “I think the team got the most excited I have ever seen after a goal when senior Jake Thompson scored his first ever goal That’s what it’s all about ”

T h e g u y s o n t h e d e f e n s e helped keep the Red ahead

Ju n i o r d e f e n s e m a n To m Freshour caused three turnovers and won five ground balls and senior goalie A J Fiore saving five and only surrendering five goals in the first 45 minutes

“From the start of the season we have really focused on doing the small things the right way We also have all bought into the team system where one player does their job and trusts his teammates will do their job,” English said “No person needs to tr y and do more then their job Being a senior led team also helps I think We also are taking it one game at a time and never overlooking an opponent ” Cornell will continue play with an Ivy matchup against

Da r t m o u t h t h i s Sa t u rd a y a t noon on Schoellkopf

“ With any Ivy League game we always expect a tough battle Any given day, anything can happen, and we know they are going to come to our house giving us their best effort It should be a tough battle for 60 plus m i n u t e s , a n d we h a ve t o approach the game with a business like focus,” English said

Not only will this game close out the Red’s home schedule, but the team will also honor its 16 seniors prior to the game

“ This year, anyone can beat anyone on any given day We have to prepare for Dartmouth and come out on Saturday like they are the number-one team in the countr y, ” Pannell said “It is also our senior day, so emotions will be running high, but I trust that our senior class will continue to do a great job in leading this team headed into the game ”

Haley Velasco can be reached at hvelasco@cornellsun com

Three Capture Individual Titles

By SCOTT CHIUSANO Sun Assistant Sports Editor

In its final two meets before Nationals, the gymnastics faced off against some tough competition In the Kent State meet, the Re d f i n i s h e d f o u r t h o f f o u r teams, posting a team score of 1 9 2 4 5 T h e s q u a d t h e n

r e t u r n e d h o m e t o h o s t t h e ECAC championship, where it finished in second place and recorded a season high score of 193 250

No 22 Kent State came out on top in their own meet, fini s h i n g w i t h 1 9 6 0 7 5 p o i n t s Howe ve r, t h e Re d’s s c o re o f 192 45 was its second highest all season “ We w e r e r e a l l y e xc i t e d about that, because we knew we c o u l d d o b e t t e r [ t h a n t h a t score], and ECAC’s would be the perfect time to score as high as we could,” freshman Sophia Scazzero said

The Red had some strong individual per formances from seniors McKenna Archer and Sarah Hein Archer won the vaulting competition in a ver y difficult pool where 11 gymnasts posted a finish of 9 775 or better Her finish of 9 85 was just enough for the narrow victor y Hein was also at the top of the field, tying for fourth with a 9 8 Junior Lexi Schupp was the Red’s top finisher on bars, and

junior Melanie Jorgensen tied for 13th with Archer on beam

The Red’s final score marked its seventh consecutive meet with a score of 190 0 or higher

“I think that the Kent State meet was a great way for the team to get out all of our jitters

b e f o

E C AC s , ” S c a z ze ro s a i d “ We knew we were going up against good teams, and our goal was to be comfortable with our routines and get a good team score to help secure our spot qualifying for Nationals ”

T h e Re d c a r r i e d t h i s momentum back to Newman Arena for the ECAC championship Freshman Alicia Blair, Hein and Jorgensen all captured individual titles Blair and Hein on vault and Jorgensen on bars Jorgensen was also named ECAC Specialist of the Year after the meet ’ s conclusion “ Them winning those indiv i d u a l t i t l e s j u s t s h ow s h ow important they are to our lineup When they score higher, we score higher, so it’s exciting to see them do so well for themselves and the team, ” Scazzero said T h e Re d f i n i s h

Penn, who won with a 193 725 just 475 ahead of Cornell Archer also tied for fifth on vault with a 9 750 and tied for third on beam with a 9 800

Completing competition | Red looks towards Nationals after ennding its last two season meets

Freshman Hannah Clark tied for seventh in beam as well “ That was probably the most

n because we had one of our most solid performances, and to get a score like that was a proof of all our hard work,” Scazzero said Hoping to build off another

Red’s next challenge will come

which will begin on April 12

Scott Chiusano can be reached at schiusano@cornellsun com

BCS Need s to Br ing Back the Cinderella S t o

ZAKOUR

Continued from page 15

weren ’ t worthy anyways, but they were given an equal chance just every other team In reality, the BCS even snubs power conference teams such like Oregon, the Pac-12 champions, who were shut out of the championship game because of their misstep against Stanford in overtime, while fellow one-loss team Alabama got in no questions asked A larger 12-to-16 playoff team (in lieu of the four team version coming in 2014) is simple enough to execute give bids to the conference winners and a few at large teams In fact, a playoff is used for every other level of college football, from Division III to Division I FCS

The BCS’ biggest crime, despite its flawed formula and probable corruption, is almost unilaterally eliminating the Cinderella story from college football The NCAA for all its missteps gets it right Its not rocket science; it’s a simple single elimination bracket But it’s perfect, and its what college football deserves Imagine for a moment high-scoring and small conference power Northern Illinois given its chance to prove itself and lights up a traditional power, such as Notre Dame, in a first round matchup Or an inform team with two losses, such as Texas A&M, given their chance and rolling to a title

Another flaw of the BCS is the subjective importance of Bowl games if a team believes they might be playing for the national championship one week and they’re eliminated the next, how interested are they in winning their last game? For evidence of this, look no further than Florida’s poor performance against 14-point underdog Louisville in the Sugar Bowl

While college football’s lack of a payoff makes it harder for stars to develop in its postseason, every year a few names emerge as stars over the course of the NCAA tournament Illinois’ Brandon Paul and Temple’s Khalif Wyatt emerged as great talents in gutsy, losing efforts to heavy favorites

Current names to watch include Indiana’s dynamic swingman and Miami’s point guard Shane Larkin as both men solidified their star power by hitting clutch shots late to send said favorites through And Oldapio’s and Larkin’s teams are talented enough to have the staying power that either could become the biggest name of the tournament On the other side of the bracket, watch out for Louisville floor general Peyton Siva if the Cardinals keep rolling through their competition

Thursday this semester John Zakour can be contacted at jzakour@cornell edu

Men Finish Fourth at Tennis Classic

By DEEYA BAJAJ Sun Staff Wr ter

The Cornell men ’ s tennis team finished fourth in the Blue-Gray National Tennis Classic The team won it’s first match, 4-0, against William & Mary to proceed to the semifinals losing, 4-1, to No 47 Texas Tech The team finally finished fourth at the Blue-Gray National Tennis Classic after failing to defeat No 22 Notre Dame at 4-1

in Montgomery, Ala on March 17

“There were a lot of strong teams and this was our first time playing outside so it was tough to adjust,” sophomore Sam Fleck said

But with its recent win against Florida Central last Wednesday, the team is now 11-4 The Red, ranked 33rd in the country by the Intercollegiate Tennis Association, won all of its doubles matches: sophomores Jason Luu and Quoc - Daniel Nguyen won the No 1 doubles match, 83, sophomores Fleck and Kyle Berman won No 2 at 8-6 and a 7-6 win at No 3 by sophomore Alex Sidney and Junior Alex Wilton The singles matches were not such a clean sweep with the Red retiring the No 1 match due to an injury, a loss, 6-1, 6-1 loss at No 4 and a 6-3, 6-4 loss at No 6 But, the Big Red pulled through the losses and Fleck won 6-2, 6-1 at No 2, at No 3 Sidney won 6-4, 46, 7-5 and Luu at No 5 won 4-6, 7-6(3), 6-2 leading to a final 4-3 victory against Florida Central

“The match against Central Florida really showed us how strong we are as a team It was really hot and humid which we were not used to at all, but the team managed to pull through,” Fleck said

The team was originally supposed to play the University of South Florida, but due to adverse weather conditions the teams were unable to finish their match

The team is now going to head into Ivy Season with its first match in an away game against Columbia University this Saturday

“Columbia is a good team for us to start the Ivy season with They are one of our toughest opponents; we played against them in the ECAC tournament and won pretty solidly, so we are feeling really confident about the playing them, but we will still need to play well,” Sidney said “I think we have a good shot at winning the Ivy League tournament as a whole [and] winning the ECAC tournament has given us an edge over the other teams They all want to have a shot at us, which is a good position to be in As a whole, the team is really excited about the upcoming matches ”

A Two Day Beauty

ZAKOUR

Continued from page 16

-ing losely and free as a 15 seed should More than that, they look like they’re having fun, truly enjoying the experience celebrating all along even doing chicken dance

Their head coach

Andy Enfield, a man whose life story reads like a fictional character, echoes this sentiment after the game when he says “We try not to take ourselves serious ” But Florida Gulf Coast is just one team in a crowded field

Meanwhile, LaSalle and Ole Miss battle for a date with Wichita State, whose Shockers are coming off a thrilling win over top seed and fellow midmajor Gonzaga The Rebels of Ole Miss were seeded 12th, meaning they had already pulled off an impressive upset, while LaSalle was one of the last four teams in the tournament Despite this, the Explorers edge past Ole Miss on a driving layup in the last seconds to continue their run All the while, Illinois, the 7th place finisher in the Big

Ten and a 7 seed, is going toe to toe with prohibitive favorite and Pac-12 champions Miami The Illini’s Brandon Paul puts on a show, but Miami pulls it out after a late three from Shane Larkin, 63-59 In the final game of the night, Duke pulls away late from Creighton to advance in a scrappy game The next day, Ohio State and Indiana needed late threes to get past their underdog opponents, OSU needing a buzzer beating pull up three from Aaron Craft to advance This all happens in the span of two days due to the beauty of March Madness It has been said before, but it’s worth reiterating to say the greatness of the NCAA basketball tournament is the best argument in favor of playoffs in FBS (formerly Division 1-A) college football For example, if the BCS were used in college basketball Louisville and Indiana would play in the championship game, while Gonzaga would be left in the cold a la Boise State Gonzaga has proven they

See ZAKOUR page 14

Spor ts

Cornell Defeat s Siena, Prepare s

Tuesday night, the Cornell men ’ s lacrosse team defeated Siena College, 17-9, in a home showdown at Schoellkopf The Red improvesdits record to 8-1 this season thanks to the win

“I think the team did a great job We seemed to be clicking all over the field I think the defense and goalies did a great job defending their men and saving shots we needed saved We were poised in the clear and on offense we shared the ball, which led to good results,” senior Connor English said “The bench was always very energized, and when other players had their names called, they were ready and stepped up ”

One of the highlights of the game was the two goals and three assists from senior attack Rob Pannell, which made him the eighth Division I lacrosse player to reach 300 career points

“It has been a goal of mine for a while now, and it’s great to finally have reached it It’s extremely humbling to be mentioned with the group of guys that have accomplished this feat, but it wouldn’t have been made possible without the great teammates that I have had over my years at Cornell and the great teams I have b e e n o n , ” Pa n n e l l s a i d “ Gu y s l i k e Ma x Seibald, Ryan Hurley and Steve Mock, among others, have been on the receiving side of my passes and have scored many goals over the

years and assisted me with many as well This wouldn’t have been possible without my teammates and their hard work and dedication to success ”

Senior Steve Mock grabbed a team-high four goals and assisted on two, as well as English knocking in two and assisting on one

“Personally, I contribute any of my success to the players around me, I would never get the ball if our defense didn’t play as well as they did,” English said “It also helps having players like Rob Pannell, Steve Mock, Matt Donovan, Max Van Bourgondien and Connor Buczek, on the field with me to make my job easier ”

In addition, both freshman midfielder John Edmonds and senior midfielder Max Van Bourgondien grabbed a goal and an assist each

“We have learned that we can ’ t show up and just win games but have to prepare with the right mindset and intensity to have success, ” Pannell said “We need to continue to do the things that found us success early on in the season and can ' t take any opponent lightly I think that is the theme of Division I lacrosse this year ”

Six other Cornell players including senior Jake Thompson who scored his first collegiate goal scored at least one point to take the “W” for Cornell

“The win over Siena was a step in the right direction It was great to be able to jump out

C.U. Continues Winning Streak O ver Break

The two days making up the third round of the NCAA tournament provided us with everything that’s great about March Madness There were a plethora of great games featuring upsets, clutch shots, outstanding individual per formances and even some buzzer beaters

1 5 t h s e e d e d F G C U

t h e n re s p o n d s w i t h 1 7 t o 0 r u n t o p u t t h e g a m e o u t o f h a n d T h e f i n a l s c o re i s 8 17 1 i n f a vo r o f t h e e l e c t r i f y i n g E a g l e s f ro m F G C U Bu t i t ’ s n o t j u s t t h e m a r g i n o f v i c t o r y t h a t i s i m p re s s i ve F G C U i s o n e t h e m o s t e n t e r t a i n i n

The Cornell women ’ s tennis team is on a winning streak the team won three matches over spring break against Coastal Carolina, College of Charleston and The New Jersey Institute of Technology With the best record in Division I, 11-0, the women ’ s tennis team is off to the best start it has ever had in program history

Coastal Carolina was defeated on its home courts, 5-2 by the Red, with losses in the No 1 and No 2 doubles matches and a loss in the No 1 singles match

The match against the College of Charleston proved to be particularly tough, as the Cornell team won by a close margin of 4-3 The team lost all of its doubles matches and the No 1 and No 2 position matches in singles

“Charleston had an advantage as we were playing them in outdoor courts and we have been practicing in indoor courts, ” freshman Laila Judeh said “It was definitely one of our tougher matches ”

Cornell then proceeded to beat the New Jersey Institute of Technology with only one

loss at No 1: a close match between N J I T ’ s Ksenia Kuzmenko and Cornell senior Christine Ordway, 7-6, 6-4 The women ’ s team won all of its other matches with junior Ryann Young at No 2 winning her match 6-2, 6-2, No 3 freshman Dena Tanenbaum winning 6-2, 76, a 6-4, 6-0 win for Judeh at No 4, No 5 sophomore Lauren Frazier winning her match against Natalis Melibeu (NJIT ) 1-6, 6-4, (11-9), and freshman Christy Kung defeating Carolina Zanotta 6-3, 6-3 at No 6

The team also won all of its doubles matches with Ordway and Tanenbaum winning No 1, 8-3, Kung and Young defeating their opponents, 8-2, at No 2 and at No 3 Frazier and Judeh winning, 5-2

“Coach is very happy with the team ’ s wins, but does not want us to be satisfied The wins won ’ t mean anything unless we do well in the Ivy’s,” Judeh said

The team is heading to its first Ivy League opener against Columbia this Saturday at noon at the Reis Tennis Center

“We are confident, excited and ready to go into Ivy season this weekend against

Columbia- this is what we have been working towards all year, it is the most competitive part of the season, ” Judeh said “Being a freshman this will be my first time playing

and I am looking for-

to it ”