Mazal Tov!
Dear Parents,
Enclosed is important information regarding the options for your child’s 2029 Bar/Bat Mitzvah. To accommodate the greatest number of children and families, please return your service date request form by Thursday, March 12, 2026.
Thank you!
Cantor Joel Caplan
Rabbi Ari Lucas Senior Rabbi
Susan Werk Educational Director
Rabbi Paula Mack Drill Rabbi-in-Residence
To have only one Bar/Bat Mitzvah family at each service. No “doubling up.”
OVERVIEW
We have 50 children who will celebrate their Bar/Bat Mitzvah in 2029.
THE GOAL
We provide many possible choices, with different types of services depending on your family’s preferences.
THE ISSUE
THE SOLUTION
After we find out what kind of service you are interested in, we assign you a service as close as possible to your child’s Hebrew birthday, unless you request something else. If you want a Shabbat morning or Shabbat dinnertime date that is not near your child’s Hebrew birthday, we’ll see if there’s one available after all the kids have been assigned near their own birthdays.
There will often be at least two children assigned to each Shabbat, but all will be at different services. We do not have kids from the same school district and grade celebrate on the same Shabbat, and we do not initially assign out vacation weekends or Passover unless you ask for those dates.
There is a $1,000 per child Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee. $500 is due upon the confirmation of your service, and the balance of the fee will be billed to you in the year prior to your service There is an additional fee for security and custodial coverage for non-Shabbat morning dates Read more about this below
Bar/Bat Mitzvah families who select a service other than a Saturday morning will receive an additional charge of $500 (due no later than one year prior to your date). This charge will help us to cover the growing security and custodial coverage costs associated with these services.
FEE
SECURITY/MAINTENANCE/KIDDUSH
Families are encouraged to donate to support the congregational Kiddush on their Bar/Bat Mitzvah weekend. Donations at various levels are listed in the Friday Shabbat Shalom e-blast and announced from the Bimah during Shabbat morning services. Donations at the “sponsors” or “supporters” level include extras. For more information about donating to Kiddush, please see page 9. Questions can be directed to CAI’s Events and Operations Manager, Jill Bristow, at 973-226-3600, ext. 115, or jbristow@agudath.org.
BAR/BAT MITZVAH SERVICES
SERVICE DETAILS
How long is the service?
How much time is my child "spotlighted"?
How much Hebrew/English in the service?
How difficult is it to learn?
or
Sunday (when Torah is not read) or Saturday night (Nov.-Dec.)
Su/M/Th, when Torah is read
Which part of the Bible will my child chant?
Who will be there?
Can there be band/photos in the synagogue after the service?
Can the parents give remarks?
Torah Reading from Torah at another minyan, then at your service as part of Speech
Your guests and maybe Cong of 25+
No, it's still Shabbat
Yes 1 hour
(50 minutes if afternoon only)
50 minutes
SAME FOR ALL SERVICES
(usually 45 minutes)
Some English Some English
Between 45 and 70 minutes, depending on specific date
Flexible, but generally somewhat harder
Haftarah (Prophets), and possibly part of Torah Reading
No, it's still Shabbat Almost all Hebrew 3 hours plus
Torah Reading
Your guests
Your guests and Cong. of 150+ Sat. Sunset: Yes Sat Afternoon: No Yes
Torah Reading from Torah at another minyan, then at your service as part of Speech
Your guests
Yes, and during the service as well
Some English
Flexible
Torah Reading
Your guests
Yes, and during the service as well
Yes
CONSIDER THESE OPTIONS
Most families at CAI celebrate a Bar/Bat Mitzvah with a service either on Saturday morning, Saturday around dinnertime, or Sunday when there’s a Torah reading. If you choose something other than these, you almost always get a first choice. You tell us what dates you like; we're not as tied to the Hebrew birthday.
Many dates are available. We don’t read from the Torah at this service, but your child chants Torah passages as part of his/her D’var Torah (speech) The service is one hour, with your guests only (or up to an additional 25 community members if you want), and Shabbat restrictions apply in the synagogue.
These services are all about 50-60 minutes long. Your child leads most of the service, and those in attendance will generally be your guests only. (As compared to Shabbat morning, when you will have your guests plus at least 130 other congregation members ) Exceptions are noted below, and please see the chart on the next page
FRIDAY NIGHT SERVICE
We have held many Shabbat Minha Bar/Bat Mitzvah services as early as 2:30 pm, and as late as 7:45 pm, depending on the time of year. The service lasts 50 minutes; it's for your guests only; Torah is read; and Shabbat restrictions apply in the synagogue. Assumes reception will be out of the synagogue.
SHABBAT AFTERNOON SERVICE, NOT AT DINNERTIME
We don’t read from the Torah at this service, but the timing works well for some families in November and December, when sunset time makes the “regular” Minha/ Ma’ariv/ Havdalah service “early” that is, that service would last from 4:15-5:15 pm. When that happens, we can hold a later Ma’ariv/ Havdalah service after Shabbat is over, around dinnertime (say 6:00-6:45 pm). The service lasts about 45 minutes, with your guests only, and no Shabbat restrictions: Photos, video, and instrumental music are fine. Your child chants Torah passages as part of his/her D’var Torah (speech).
SATURDAY NIGHT, AFTER SHABBAT ENDS, IN NOVEMBER/DECEMBER
The advantage is that there are lots of possible dates. The service runs from 10:30-11:20 am, with your guests only, and no Shabbat restrictions: Photos, video, and instrumental music are fine. Your child chants Torah passages as part of his/her D’var Torah (speech).
SUNDAY MORNING WHEN THE TORAH IS NOT READ
These options may be available as well. Please discuss with Cantor Caplan. (For instance, yes, you can have a service during summer or vacation time either the Rabbi or the Cantor will be with you then, but we can't guarantee that both of them will be at the service.)
SUMMERTIME, VACATION TIME, OR PASSOVER
If this kind of service isn’t what you want, skip this part. But if it is what you want, please read this!
HOW CAN YOU DO A BAR/BAT MITZVAH WHEN THE TORAH IS NOT READ?
Remember, you can have a Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony on any Sunday or weekday morning, even if you don't read from the Torah. But when do we read from the Torah, besides Shabbat? The Torah is read every Monday and Thursday morning, and on a few Sundays during the year.
In past years, many families have asked for those few Sundays. We first assign these dates to whoever has the closest Hebrew birthday (and by Jewish law, boys don’t use a date that is before their 13th Hebrew birthday, but girls may).
Two morning services can be held on each of these days one starting at 9:00 am, and one at 10:30 am. If you can commit now to using the synagogue building for your reception, you may get preference in determining the time of your service.
THE HARDEST DATES TO SCHEDULE:
SUNDAYS AND WEEKDAYS WHEN THE TORAH IS READ
SUNDAYS AND WEEKDAYS IN 2029 WHEN THE TORAH IS READ
JANUARY 15, 2029
FEBRUARY 19, 2029
APRIL 1, 2029
APRIL 15, 2029
MAY 28, 2029
AUGUST 12, 2029
SEPTEMBER 3, 2029
SEPTEMBER 30, 2029
NOVEMBER 22, 2029
DECEMBER 2, 2029
DECEMBER 9, 2029
MLK DAY
PRESIDENTS’ DAY
PASSOVER 2 DAY (3 HOURS, LIKE SHABBAT) ND
ROSH HODESH IYAR
MEMORIAL DAY
ROSH HODESH ELUL
LABOR DAY
HOSHANAH RABBAH (END OF SUKKOT)
THANKSGIVING DAY
HANUKKAH 1 DAY ST
HANUKKAH 8 DAY TH
FAQ CONTINUED
We can work with your child no matter where your ceremony is held Some families have held a ceremony only in Israel, and some have held one there and one here There are many ways to do this in Israel speak to Cantor Caplan.
IF THE TORAH IS NOT READ, WOULD MY CHILD HAVE AN ALIYAH AT SOME OTHER TIME?
No, not at all. Families in our congregation celebrate a child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah in all kinds of ways, and since the pandemic, families have become even more creative. We personally have seen all of the following (in no particular order):
WHAT IF WE WANT OUR SERVICE TO BE HELD IN ISRAEL?
Beautiful reception right here at CAI
Coffee, cake, and schmoozing after the service nothing more Kiddush in the synagogue
Teen lounge, mobile game parties, laser tag, or pool party
DOES EVERY FAMILY MAKE A “BIG” CELEBRATION?
Party in a catering hall, country club, or event space of your choice
Family celebrates with a trip to Israel
Everyone comes to your house after services for food and schmoozing or a backyard gathering
This is by no means an exhaustive list. The point is that you don't have to celebrate in any one prescribed way. There are many options, and members of our community have done them all.
There’s not a hotel within walking distance of the synagogue, but as a congregation, we take seriously the mitzvah of Hakhnasat Orhim welcoming guests. To that end, about 25 families who live fairly close to the synagogue including the Caplans have already committed to host Shabbat guests for a celebration such as yours. We are happy to help arrange this!
WE HAVE RELATIVES WHO DON’T DRIVE ON SHABBAT. IS THERE A HOTEL WHERE THEY CAN STAY?
Read Cantor Caplan’s "Commonly Asked Questions". If you have additional questions, please email bmitzvah@agudath.org. We are here to help you with this!
Click here to complete your date request form by THURSDAY, MARCH 12, 2026. Sorting through everyone’s responses takes several weeks, and then we will get back to you to confirm your date.
You may choose to make a donation to the discretionary funds of CAI's clergy. Each clergy member has his/her own discretionary fund, a synagogue fund that the clergy use in order to support communal needs by offering assistance to individuals, organizations consistent with CAI’s tax-exempt status, and for educational purposes.
DONATIONS TO DISCRETIONARY FUNDS
If you would like guidance on a suggested donation amount to the clergy’s discretionary funds in honor of your child's Bar/Bat Mitzvah, please email bmitzvah@agudath.org.
Sponsoring the Kiddush is an opportunity to honor and share your family’s simha with the CAI community. Questions can be directed to CAI’s Events and Operations Manager, Jill Bristow, at 973-226-3600, ext. 115, or jbristow@agudath.org.
$1,800+ Kiddush Sponsors
KIDDUSH SPONSORSHIP
$540-$1,799 Kiddush Supporters
$136-$539 Kiddush Contributors
$36 Minimum Kiddush Friends
