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Mitzvah Bar•Bat
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SPRING 2020
From completing a meaningful mitzvah project to the celebration, local b’nai mitzvahs create impactful moments
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Mitzvah Bar•Bat
SPRING 2020
CONTENTS
36
10
The Cleveland Jewish News
Mitzvah Bar•Bat
BARBATMAGAZINE.COM
SPRING 2020
16 From completing a meaningful mitzvah project to the celebration, local b’nai mitzvahs create impactful moments
On the cover: Jacob Lader celebrates his bar mitzvah on June 8, 2019 at The Temple-Tifereth Israel in Beachwood. Cover photo by Natural Light Studio.
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22
A mitzvah, even without the celebration Editor Amanda Koehn discusses this strange time in history and takeaways from local mitzvah projects
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Looking Back
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Recent local bar and bat mitzvahs and their families share stories and photos from the big day
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Lifetime lessons Today’s mitzvah projects can entail a spectrum of activities. What makes a project that truly gets to the heart of Jewish learning and giving back?
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Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
Ask A Pro Planning tips from Northeast Ohio professionals on catering, decor, entertainment, photography, stationary and ceremony preparation
Northeast Ohioans recall their bar or bat mitzvah and how it influenced their lives
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Spotlights
36
Planning a party to remember Emphasize Jewish traditions and prioritize important details to ensure a fun and special bash
40
Energetic events The Cleveland area welcomes two new party spots for an action-packed simcha
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Picture-perfect parties Venues across Northeast Ohio offer ideal backdrops for parties
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A gift to save Once the party is over, celebrants will likely be gifted some cash. How should they manage it?
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A MITZVAH PROJECT STILL A MITZVAH – EVEN WITHOUT THE CEREMONY OR CELEBRATION
I
can’t imagine it’s easy right now to focus on upcoming celebrations on your calendar – even if they are months ahead and still scheduled, for now.
You’ve likely already seen a b’nai mitzvah, wedding or another Jewish or secular event canceled in the past few weeks, due to the pandemic COVID-19. For all of us, the next weeks and months feel increasingly unpredictable. And planning ahead – which is vital to pulling off a fun and meaningful bar or bat mitzvah – seems laughable. But some worthy advice for families looking ahead to such an event, and who may be sidelined for now, might be to focus any extra time and energy on paying it forward to those struggling around you. And if you need tips, with this edition of Bar•Bat Mitzvah, you are in luck. In this issue, writer McKenna Corson talked with a rabbi, nonprofit leader and recent bar and bat mitzvah students about what makes a truly meaningful, valuable and educational mitzvah project. In the story, she explores what project components best ensure that students not only learn the value of tikkun olam, but what kinds of endeavors may have the most impact on those in need around them. During this time of hardship, I think we could all take a lesson from young adults who completed mitzvah projects that both spoke to their interests and the needs of the world around them. Like Lizzie Walsh – who for her mitzvah project volunteered at a theater camp, helping students with disabilities perform – we can all put our skills into action to help others. Or like Braden White – who with a group of friends learned to modify toys for easier use for children with special needs – we all have the power to learn something new to impact someone else. And while we may not all be able to physically take part in such volunteer initiatives right now, we can collect and donate items and funds to individuals and organizations in need, learn new skills to benefit our community, and most importantly, do the best we can to ensure the most vulnerable around us are healthy – even if it comes at personal or professional sacrifice.
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Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
Publisher & CEO Kevin S. Adelstein Vice President of Sales Adam Mandell Editor Amanda Koehn akoehn@cjn.org Design Manager Stephen Valentine Managing Editor Bob Jacob Controller Tracy DiDomenico Digital Marketing Manager Cheryl Sadler Events Manager Gina Lloyd Editorial McKenna Corson Skylar Dubelko Jane Kaufman Becky Raspe Contributing Writers Michelle Jacobson Amy Richards Columbus Bureau Chief Abby Cymerman Custom Publishing Manager Paul Bram Sales & Marketing Manager Andy Isaacs
And we can help those younger than us learn the value of doing such as well. Also, it’s important I remind you of the value of all the vendors who make celebrations a success: photographers, caterers, tutors, planners and many others, who today, are likely missing out on or having to make hard decisions about work opportunities. We all rely on these professionals – who are featured in stories throughout this magazine – to provide sound advice and imbue us with a sense of control and calmness around putting together major simchas. I recommend you enjoy and learn from what they share in this issue. And if you feel inclined, I hope you find a way to share your appreciation with the pros who’ve worked on your celebrations and commemorations over the years, helping provide them any semblance of such calmness or control they could likely use right now.
Advertising Marilyn Evans Ron Greenbaum Adam Jacob Nell V. Kirman Sherry Tilson Yocheved Wylen Design Jessica Simon Jamie Spencer Ricki Urban Digital Content Producer Alyssa Schmitt Business & Circulation Tammie Crawford Abby Royer Subscriber Services 216-342-5185/circulation@cjn.org Display Advertising 216-342-5191/adsales@cjn.org
VOL. 144 NO. 15
Amanda Koehn Editor
CLEVELAND JEWISH NEWS (ISSN-0009-8825) is published weekly with additional issues in January, March, May, June, August, October, November and December by The Cleveland Jewish Publication Company at 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, OH 44122-5380. Single copy $1.25. Periodicals Postage paid at Cleveland, OH., and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER and additional mailing offices. Send address changes to the Cleveland Jewish News, 23880 Commerce Park, Suite 1, Cleveland, OH 44122-5380
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Left photo © New Image Photography Right photo © Dennis Crider Photography
LOOKING BACK
Northeast Ohioans remember their bar or bat mitzvah
ADAM MILLER
By Jane Kaufman
A
dam Miller felt the pressure – the pressure of following in his sister’s footsteps, the pressure of pleasing his parents and the pressure of his grandparents’ legacy as Holocaust survivors. Born in Minneapolis in 1986, his family moved to Orange when he was around preschool age. At the time of his bar mitzvah at The Temple-Tifereth Israel in Beachwood, he was a student at Brady Middle School. His older sister, Alyssa, became bat mitzvah two years earlier, and watching her go through the rite of passage made an impression on him. “I remember really being inspired by her and watching her do it, but like any 12-year-old boy, no one wants to be told they have to do anything or practice anything,” he recalls. “But as it got closer to November and the time, I remember getting more excited.” His parents, Sherry and Robert Miller, chose a date in November 1998, about two months prior to his 13th birthday in deference to Cleveland’s snowy winters because family was expected from Detroit, Minneapolis, Florida and California. Miller was tutored by Michelle Katz. He was expected to learn 10 lines of Torah. “I remember being so nervous to read Hebrew without vowels,” he recalls. “What was already a foreign language to me felt so much more foreign. You’re taking away the vowels, like what?” Today, Miller is director of content at WKYC in Cleveland. He lives in Moreland Hills with his wife and three daughters, and is a member of The Temple. “I recently spoke at The Temple and (Cantor) Kathy Sebo ambushed me on the spot and asked me if I could recite the first like couple lines,” he says. “You know, what’s
so funny is it comes back to you because it gets stuck in your head.” While it wasn’t required, he also learned haftorah with his tutor. Miller had already memorized lines for plays he performed in at middle school and says he spent quite a bit of time going over the material. “I think I was more nervous about the Hebrew, driving home the practice piece making sure I really felt comfortable with the material,” he says. All four of his grandparents attended his bar mitzvah: Clevelanders Mary and Dr. Joseph A. Miller, and Manya and Anszel Gun, who lived in Boca Raton, Fla., but were born in Poland and Ukraine, respectively. “My grandparents were survivors of the Holocaust,” Miller recalls. “And so I think to be able to read from the Torah in front of them felt like an incredible honor. It’s something that wasn’t lost on me even at a young age. And so I think there was a little bit of pressure of wanting to do well and make them feel good and proud, and that they survived for this incredible reason that their family could continue to celebrate the Jewish traditions.” He also anticipated the excitement of seeing family and friends. “I’m extremely family oriented,” he says. “My friends are like my family as well. So I remember being so excited to have everyone come together for a celebration, especially with all the out-of-towners coming in. So I remember just so looking forward to the entire weekend.” The weekend included a Friday night dinner for the
10 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
Adam Miller takes center stage at a candlelighting as his family surrounds him. They are, from left, mother Sherry Miller, sister Alyssa Miller, grandfather Anszel Gun, sister Arielle Miller, father Robert Miller, grandmother Manya Gun and grandparents Mary and Dr. Joseph A. Miller. | Photos courtesy of Adam Miller out-of-towners and a Sunday brunch. Family members took part in the rituals of Havdalah, holding the candle, coming forward to smell the spices signifying the sweetness of Shabbat. A vivid memory of a particular moment sticks with him. “I remember someone saying to me: Remember when you’re up on the bima – to remember that moment, and to look out in the congregation and really capture who was there,” Miller remembers. “And I really do. I remember that – taking it all in, who was there. I remember taking that advice. It was a really special weekend and a special moment.” His Saturday night party at the
Embassy Suites in Beachwood was themed “Adam’s Plays” – a pun on his dual interests of baseball and drama. Earl the Pearl from Terry Macklin Entertainment spun tunes. Guests sprayed color onto their hair, and when the black lights were on, the colors popped. “Some kid couldn’t get the color out of his hair for days,” Miller recalls. “His parents called my parents.” Guests at the party lifted up grandmother Manya Gun on a chair in celebration. Miller recalls his grandmother later describing, in that moment, looking up and seeing the image of her father, who had been killed in the Holocaust. He said to her, “This was why you survived.” BM
Adam Miller surrounded by friends at his bar mitzvah party at Embassy Suites in Beachwood in November, 1998.
ROBIN SELINGER By Jane Kaufman
A
lways a quick study, Robin Selinger found her one-on-one time preparing for her bat mitzvah with an Israeli tutor and her rabbi to be something of a treat.
“I was the child that wanted the extra lesson and to do more than what’s asked of me at school,” Selinger says. “And so the chance to study with the teacher at home was a special privilege and I knew it. I really appreciated it.” Selinger, now 58 and a professor of physics at Kent State University and cantorial soloist at Temple Beth Shalom in Hudson, was born and raised in Arlington, Texas, 20 miles from her school, Fort Worth Country Day School, and temple, Temple Beth El. At the time, she lived too far away to spend much time with students from either her school or temple, and transportation logistics also made it difficult for her to attend Hebrew school. So her parents hired the same Israeli university student who had tutored her older brother for bar mitzvah preparation. “Hebrew instruction in a Reform congregation was never really a strength,” Selinger recalls, adding that while pronunciation was important, vocabulary was
not stressed. Selinger said her tutor used a textbook and gave her homework between lessons, so she felt she learned more than she might have at her temple’s Hebrew school. Her tutor also taught her conversational Hebrew. “He would come and we would sit in the dining room. That was our study room,” she remembers. “It was a room that was never used for anything most of the time.” Selinger says she was the second or third girl to become bat mitzvah at Temple Beth El. Rabbi Robert J. Schur opposed the concept until about a year prior to Selinger’s bat mitzvah. “He thought it was unseemly and inappropriate,” she says, until another family, whom he could not easily refuse, made a request for a ceremony for their daughter. “Both parents were stalwarts of the religious school faculty and absolutely the backbone of the congregation.” Their daughter demonstrated
Robin Selinger at the pulpit at her bat mitzvah in February 1978. 12 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
Robin Selinger and Rabbi Robert J. Schur. | Photos courtesy of Robin Selinger “stellar skills,” paving the way for others, Selinger says. “I think I was more nervous about the party than about the service,” she says, adding she and two boys in her class jointly held a party at a country club, which included a band playing hits of the 1970s. “I had a lot of anxiety of like, will any cute boys ask to dance with me? Because I was not a social butterfly,” she says. “I still remember there were young men in my class who in general were in the popular group, of which I was not a member, who went out of their way to make me feel comfortable and invite me to dance.” Selinger’s bat mitzvah took place at a Friday night service on the date of her 13th birthday in February 1978. She read Torah, led the central V’ahavta prayer and delivered a speech. Flowers, she said, were a big part of the event, with men in the family sporting boutonnieres and women corsages at their left shoulders. She wore a corsage on her left wrist. One great aunt who had “come on short notice” to a previous family celebration “made a big stink” when there was no corsage awaiting her, Selinger remembers. “I’m sure my mother made sure to get an extra flower just in case.” At the oneg following, Selinger recalls a family friend had the honor of serving coffee and tea
from the temple’s silver tea set, an honor she herself later was given at other celebrations. There was one late entrance that sticks out for Selinger. “My father had a friend who was a doctor from Dallas, a town far enough away that we didn’t see them very often,” she said. “The doctor’s wife walked in with her hair in this giant bouffant hairdo. Like, her hair was a foot in the air, or more it seemed. When she walked in, it was like bride of Frankenstein. I just about lost it. It was all I could do to not die laughing and embarrass myself.” Jokes and fun aside, working with her rabbi to prepare for the ceremony had an unintended benefit for Selinger. “Later when I was a teenager, and I had a pretty rebellious spirit and was in conflict with my parents, he actually served as a very important mediator in our ongoing arguments, that we both trusted him and could confide in him, and he could help us somehow survive until I was old enough to leave home,” she says. “Looking at all the stuff I see going on in synagogue life now, I recognize how valuable that was – to have another adult in my life who had my best interest at heart who could not exactly advocate on my behalf with my parents, but who could at least help me come to some kind of understanding with them.” BM
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ROMAN FRAYMAN By Jane Kaufman
H
aving arrived in the United States less than two years before his 13th birthday, Roman Frayman had a lot on his mind: learning English, losing his accent and working – his bar mitzvah, not so much.
Frayman, 82, was born in Poland in March of 1938, about 18 months before Germany invaded the country. For much of World War II, he and his mother were hidden by a neighbor, Maria Balagova, in his native city, Sosnowiecz. During the war, Frayman’s mother, Bertha, gave birth to a second son, Chaim, who later perished. After the war ended, Frayman’s father, Aron, who had been in labor and concentration camps, reunited with Frayman and his mother, and the family lived in Eggenfelden, Germany. In 1949, their visas were granted to the U.S. Frayman recalls his family boarded the USS General Holbrook in mid-September and arrived in Boston. They arrived in Cleveland by train on Sept. 22, 1949 – one day before Rosh Hashanah, Frayman remembers. They lived with their friends, the Fixlers, for about three weeks before settling in their own second-floor apartment of a duplex on Durand Road in Cleveland. His parents worked at Sherwin’s Bakery. “My dad was a fantastic baker and my mom did pastry,” says Frayman, who told his story of survival for the book “Three Miracles: The Life of Roman Frayman,” written and illustrated by high school freshmen Miriam Duhamel and Anna Wolf, respectively. “We were very close to the Sherwins.” His parents later bought the former Kritzer’s Bakery, which they renamed East 123rd Street Bakery and where Frayman worked the counter and made bagels as a teenager. Frayman, at age 11½ when he arrived in Cleveland, spoke no English. He was placed in second grade at a school across from his house and later attended Andrew
J. Rickoff Elementary School, in the then-heavily Jewish Kinsman neighborhood. He picked up English by listening to the radio and going to the movies. “I spent a lot of time learning English and losing the accent,” he says. “That was the most important thing.” At the same time, Frayman was preparing for his bar mitzvah. While he vividly remembers his first encounter with his tutor, an elderly Orthodox man, he does not recall his name. “I was panicked out of my mind,” Frayman recalls. “The very first time I went to meet with him, he hit me. He wasn’t malicious, but he wanted to make something I would forever remember. I walked into the class and I took my hat off, and Jewish men don’t take their hats off when they go to temple. … When I say hit, it was like a patsch (pat) in tuches.” His tutor later handed him a three-page English speech to memorize for his bar mitzvah. “He had a lot to work with,” Frayman says. “My English was broken. My Hebrew wasn’t so great. But somehow we got it together.” And while Frayman walked with his father to services every Saturday, he wasn’t able to follow along and grew tired of asking his father where they were in the prayerbook. “I mean, I was at temple but I was outside and he was inside davening,” Frayman says. “The kids like myself, we would go with our parents and we would do our thing outside, playing soccer.” There was one bright spot to his Jewish education – attending classes at Cleveland Hebrew Schools. “I really loved it – learning about the Torah, just learning
14 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
Above: Roman Frayman, left, with cousins Dora Adler, Joe Adler and Rebecca Yaspan, at a family celebration around the time of his bar mitzvah in Cleveland. Below: Roman Frayman and his wife, Elaine, at left, at the bar mitzvah of cousin Seymour Frydrych in Toronto. | Photos courtesy of Roman Frayman
about Jewishness,” says Frayman, who taught religious school at The Temple-Tifereth Israel in Beachwood for more than 30 years. On the Saturday morning of his bar mitzvah in March 1951, Frayman and his family walked to their shul in Glenville. His one guest was his friend, Billy Borover, who lived in the neighborhood. Frayman, now a Beachwood resident, somehow managed to get through his memorized speech, but he omitted the second page.
“I was a total failure,” Frayman recalls. “I had great expectations.” Still, the Sherwins and Billy joined his family after services at their upstairs home. For the occasion, the Sherwins presented him with a 1948 Cleveland Indians jacket. “I remember right after the bar mitzvah at the temple, my mom had made some food,” Frayman recalls. “She was an awesome cook. We all went to our house … and the party commenced.” BM
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LIFETIME LESSONS
Today’s mitzvah projects can entail a spectrum of activities, donations and time commitments. But what makes a project that truly gets to the heart of Jewish learning and giving back? By McKenna Corson
W
hen children start the process of becoming a bar or bat mitzvah, there’s often a large emphasis placed on their mitzvah projects – something done to give back to the community before the big ceremony and celebration. The project can be almost be anything that demonstrates a sense of charity, but because of the creative freedom, parents’ and children’s heads may swirl with questions. One of the biggest questions parents have reaches deep into the very essence of what the project aims to accomplish – what makes a good mitzvah project? What will instill the appropriate values as the child grows up, and in turn, what helps others most?
SHIRA POLIKOFF
Bat mitzvah: Nov. 16, 2019 Congregation: B’nai Jeshurun Congregation For Shira Polikoff’s mitzvah project, she knew she wanted to do something for her summer camp, Camp Ramah in Canada, located in Ontario, but she didn’t immediately know exactly what. “My mom came up to me one day, and she told me, ‘What if we donated cooking supplies?’” Shira says. “I love to cook, so I loved that idea. ... This gave me a way to give back to (Camp Ramah) because they’ve done so much for me, and I wanted to give back for all the years that I’ve been at camp.” She says she imagined all the impactful ways her cooking supplies could be used, not just by inquisitive campers learning how to prepare meals during the camp’s cooking activities, but also by the cooks preparing meals for hundreds of rumbling stomachs. “I think it helps lots of kids at camp, because one of everyone’s favorite activities is cooking,” Shira says, “but it also helps the staff. All of their supplies are from a
16 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
A SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY “Bar/bat mitzvah children engage in some particular mitzvah project as an expression of that aspect of their Judaism, their commitment to tzedakah, to gemilut chasadim – acts of kindness – to tikkun olam,” says Rabbi Stephen Weiss, senior rabbi at B’nai Jeshurun Congregation in Pepper Pike. “It’s a way for them to express that piece of Judaism: What it means to be a Jew, to be responsible for the world around you and to contribute to making the world a better place.” Rena Wertheim is the program director for the Friendship Circle of Cleveland in Pepper Pike, a nonprofit that brings together volunteers with children with special needs. It’s also where many local b’nai mitzvahs complete their mitzvah projects. She says she believes the purpose and an
long time ago, so with more equipment, they can make more things that all of the campers love a lot easier.” A few months before her bat mitzvah celebration when filling out her invitations, she included a note explaining her mitzvah project. She urged people to send new kitchen equipment and utensils to her address that she could donate to camp. Packages started to show up at Shira’s Chagrin Falls home and continued for about three months. “I remember I had gotten home from school one day, and there was this huge package at our door,” Shira says. “There was this food processor in it and these measuring bowls and kitchen supplies. I felt really excited because it was kind of like the first time that my bat mitzvah was really happening.” Shira and a few friends are also planning to make dinner for families calling the Ronald McDonald House of Cleveland home while their children receive medical treatment at area medical centers. “I want to help people,” she says. “I want
Weiss
Wertheim
important aspect of a mitzvah project is to help b’nai mitzvah children understand that the world doesn’t revolve around them, despite all the attention and gifts they receive during their coming of age ceremonies. “Mitzvah projects help them put that in perspective of, ‘It’s not just about me, it’s about what I can do for my community,’” Wertheim says. “It teaches them responsibil-
to share my love of cooking with other people.”
Shira Polikoff with a handful of kitchen goods she collected for Camp Ramah in Canada. | Photo / Leah Eisenberg
ity because that is what being a bar or bat mitzvah is – being an accountable person in the community.” To Weiss, a good mitzvah project is one where children are participating actively and can learn directly from their experience. “It is somehow connected with the child’s own life experience so that they better understand and appreciate the help they’re given,” Weiss says. “One that involves them actually doing something so that it becomes personal for them. It’s important they’re making some sacrifice, some efforts, bringing their time and their energy into what they’re doing.” Mitzvah projects Weiss has seen include making blankets for babies in the hospital, spending hours across many Sundays visiting with older adults at senior living facilities, raising money with a bake sale to fight cancer, volunteering at a local animal shelter over numerous Sundays and raising money for the Israel Tennis & Education Centers. Weiss likes to suggest mitzvah projects connected to Israel, such as donating to Pups for Peace, a nonprofit that trains dogs to detect explosives, protecting Israel’s public transportation and preventing terrorist attacks. “I always think it’s a nice thing when it’s
tied to Israel ‘cause it has a double effect of strengthening Israeli ties along with the other important values,” he says. “But I don’t think every mitzvah project needs to be tied to Israel to be a good project.”
GETTING CREATIVE, MAKING A PLAN Wertheim believes the most important factor children should keep in mind when selecting their mitzvah project is to think about ways they personally could be reflected while giving back. “The child should have an interest in the organization they’re going to be devoting some time to – it should speak to them somehow,” she says. No matter the child’s interests, Wertheim says parents and children can come up with an impactful mitzvah project idea with some brainpower and research. “You can be creative in how a bar/bat mitzvah child’s unusual interest could benefit someone else, while being meaningful to them,” she says. “I think the possibilities are as endless as the child’s interests.” Even interests that might seem difficult to pair with a project – like video games or dance – can be worked into something consequential. “My son had a lot of video games and
BRADEN WHITE
Braden White adapts a toy to help children with disabilities during his mitzvah project volunteering for RePlay for Kids at Shaker Heights Public Library on Aug. 19, 2019. | Photo / Heather White
Bar mitzvah: Oct. 5, 2019 Congregation: Park Synagogue Braden White wasn’t required to do a mitzvah project to become a bar mitzvah, but felt the calling to help out anyway. “I thought if I did something that I found fun, while also helping people in need, then it would just be a great experience and a nice thing to do,” says Braden, of Shaker Heights. He fondly remembers attending a toy altering event at Laurel School years ago put on by RePlay for Kids, a nonprofit consisting of volunteers who repair and adapt toys and assistive devices for children with disabilities in Northeast Ohio. “I wanted to do it again,” he says. “Working with electrical circuits is one of my interests, and this is a hands-on electrical circuit experience. I thought it would be pretty cool for my friends to do, and it helps kids in hospitals and kids with disabilities use toys.” On Aug. 19, 2019 at the Shaker Heights Public Library, Braden and eight or nine friends met for his mitzvah project where they participated in a two-hour toy adaption workshop with guidance from a RePlay for Kids representative.
some of them he had outgrown,” Wertheim says. “So making a donation of video games to other children, maybe to a hospital, is a nice way to put those two things together. “As for dance, we had a young lady, Maddie Friedman, who came to Friendship Circle with her dance instructor and taught dance twice a month on Sundays from September until January to our groups of participant children for her project.” When it comes to a suggested length of a project, Weiss and Wertheim agree there’s no one answer. “We have to work with the children to tailor it to what works best for them,” Weiss says. “We want them to feel good and have had fun coming out of their project. Some can have as great an impact with lesser time, so it just depends on what the nature of the project is.” Wertheim’s only suggestion is they should avoid short, get-it-over-with-quick stints, if possible. “It should be more than a one-time situation to get the most out of an experience,” Wertheim says. “But I think anything goes. Kids are very busy, families are very busy and their days are packed; it’s coming up with a plan that works for the child and the family.” Weiss recommends families know what
The representative taught the boys how to solder, or join metals together – which Braden already knew – using electronic toys, and how to attach a special adapter button to help kids with disabilities turn on the toys with ease. The meticulous process was a joy to Braden; he helped out his friends who didn’t understand what to do, or who realized electronic tinkering wasn’t for them. His rollup-the-sleeves mitzvah project was perfect for him, he says. “I felt like if I just donated a bunch of money, it wouldn’t really be doing much,” Braden says. “But if I actually brought toys there and did the work, then it would be helping a lot of other people, saving them time so they wouldn’t have to do it. “RePlay for Kids donates all the toys to the hospital for free, and I thought that since the parents of the kids didn’t have to pay for toys, it would be a much better experience. And now I know how this process works, so if I ever wanted to make toys for disabled kids myself, I would know how to do it exactly.”
Spring 2020 // Bar•Bat Mitzvah 17
Maddie Friedman of Shaker Heights, right, and her instructor, Heather, teach ballet to Shira during Maddie’s mitzvah project at Friendship Circle of Cleveland. Maddie, who attends B’nai Jeshurun Congregation in Pepper Pike, will become a bat mitzvah Oct. 24, 2020. | Photo courtesy of Friendship Circle
project the bar or bat mitzvah wants to do by the end of sixth grade to guarantee ample time to plan before the big day rolls around, but that also depends on the project and how long it will take to complete. And Wertheim says when it comes to embarking on any mitzvah project, it’s important to focus on the project itself. “It’s all about what they put in,” she says. “To get the most out of their experience, it’s about being open, agreeable, carving out the time and making an actual commitment.” Advice for parents, who may have never completed their own mitzvah project and the idea is a little foreign? Weiss recommends making the child’s project one the family does together. “Usually when the family or parents get involved, the kids end up doing something much more substantial – they feel especially proud of it,” he says. “It becomes a nice experience that brings the family closer together around their Jewish values.” BM
LIZZIE WALSH
Bat mitzvah: Aug. 10, 2019 Congregation: The Temple-Tifereth Israel Lizzie Walsh remembers being anxious to start to her mitzvah project with the Broadway Buddies: Adaptive Musical Theatre camp, spanning July 29 to Aug. 2, 2019. A theater lover, she’d done summer theater camps with Stagecrafters Youth Theatre before, but this time she wouldn’t be a camper. She’d have to be a leader, paired with a disabled student to help them put on a musical performance in a week. “I was a little bit nervous because I just didn’t know what I was going to be doing,” says Lizzie, of Solon. “And then once I came out of the experience, I had a new idea about people with disabilities in theater. It completely changed my perspective and it made me want to do psychology as my profession even more.” Lizzie was paired with Cora, a girl one year older than her, for their performance of “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown,” at the end of the week for family and friends at Orange High School in Pepper Pike. Cora was cast as Charlie Brown’s little sister, Sally. “I worked with her in the performance, and I went through her lines and songs
18 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
Lizzie Walsh, left, behind her partner, Cora, in costume as Sally, during the Broadway Buddies: Adaptive Musical Theatre production of “You’re a Good Man, Charlie Brown.” Lizzie spent the week of July 29 to August 2, 2019, volunteering with the camp for her mitzvah project. | Photo submitted / Alisa Walsh with her on stage,” Lizzie says. “I made little note cards for her lines where I would say them to her, and she’d say them back to the audience during the show. I basically just worked with her, helped her learn her character and got to know her, but I also worked with other kids.” As she adjusted to not being the one in the limelight, and sharing her abilities with Cora and other campers, Lizzie learned valuable skills that will carry with her into
her future, she says. For the final performance, Lizzie, like all the camp’s volunteers, stood behind their buddies on stage. “It was so different ‘cause while I was on stage, it wasn’t me performing – I was helping somebody else perform,” she says. “It was a great experience for me. Now that I’ve done this, I know how to help other people. I’m definitely going to do it next year ‘cause I loved it so much.”
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20 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
From time to time, Bar•Bat Mitzvah magazine will feature spotlights on local b’nai mitzvahs. Submit yours at cjn.org/barbatmitzvah.
We are so proud of the work that Molly put into the service and how she shined on the bimah. Amy Goldberg, mom
Spring 2020 // Bar•Bat Mitzvah 21
Planning a b’nai mitzvah isn’t easy, and keeping track of the details may seem overwhelming. Fortunately, local experts share their advice with Bar•Bat Mitzvah for each aspect of the big day. By Becky Raspe
Zone Entertainment 22 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
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Spring 2020 // Bar•Bat Mitzvah 23
“You can use the catering to make two parties in one, by creating separate menus for the teens and adults. Adults can have a sit-down formal dinner, while the younger guests can enjoy a more finger food-style menu.”
Cirino Photography
– Kate Munyan
CATERING
Anita Louise Photography
KATE MUNYAN
EVENT MANAGER DINO’S CATERING AT ACACIA RESERVATION | LYNDHURST WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT? The most important thing for us to get right is that we follow the client’s wishes. This is such a special day for the whole family, we want to make sure that their event is as they envisioned. There are so many different things you can do with food, so if you come in with a vision of what you’re thinking, we can definitely do a better job at bringing that vision to fruition.
HOW DOES CATERING IMPACT THE ATMOSPHERE? The catering for an event can help to complete the entire atmosphere. For example, if a client wishes to have a baseball theme, the food selections can reflect that with ballpark-style food. I think the food kind of helps enhance the feeling or theme that the family is going for. Doing something fun, like ice cream tables, can really change the way the party is received and the feeling that people walk away with.
HOW CAN CATERING BE USED IN UNIQUE WAYS? You can use the catering to make two parties in one, by creating separate menus for the teens and adults. Adults can have a sit-down formal dinner, while the younger guests can enjoy a more finger food-style menu. Our staff is always excited to mix up our menu selections to accommodate different party themes.
WHAT IS OFTEN OVERLOOKED? For the party in general, I think making sure there is enough entertainment for the kids. Hiring a DJ helps to keep the party going. But for the food and catering services specifically, I think a lot of times, having food available when people walk in almost adds more to the welcoming atmosphere. This can be done with fun appetizers. This helps your guests get settled in before you get into dinner service, like a buffer and ice breaker.
24 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? Sports has always been a popular theme. It is also very popular to showcase their favorite movies and video games. It’s still status quo – they want something fun for the kids, like sliders and pizza, sometimes a pasta station. And more elegant foods for the adults – more sit-down stuff. For the kids, it’s typically buffet style, and then family style for the adult tables. It’s about accommodating what these groups typically do at parties.
WHEN SHOULD FAMILIES START PLANNING? About one year out because we do get booked up. You want to make sure you reserve the date with all of your different party
parts, like catering, because you can only get one date for these kinds of events. It’s harder to be flexible. The months of May through December is a really busy time for us with other events, so it’s good consider that as well.
WHY IS CATERING A CRITICAL ASPECT OF THE PARTY? Good food is at the heart of every event. Good food can make or break a party. You want your guests to talk about how good everything was, not where it fell short or disappointed. People remember when the food is either really bad or really good, so you want to leave the impression that is really good. BM
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/Bat Mitzvah at P r a B a e m ark B e co
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Let’s Entertain Party Rental
“What was important to the child growing up should be a representation of them at their mitzvah.” – Karen Fike
DÉCOR KAREN FIKE
PRESIDENT AND GENERAL MANAGER LET’S ENTERTAIN PARTY RENTAL | WARRENSVILLE HEIGHTS WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT? The most important thing to get right in mitzvah decor is to make sure to know the personality of the young man or young lady. The special event is about the young person and their responsibility of becoming and commemorating their Jewish religious adulthood. The meaning and purpose of the event is most important and it should not be forgotten. It can be a very positive experience for everyone involved by allowing the child to be involved in the process. After all, it is about them and their Jewish connection. The tastes and likes of the child, too, can be best shown through the chosen palette in their tablecloths, plates, chairs, etc.
HOW DOES DECOR IMPACT THE ATMOSPHERE? Decor impacts the atmosphere immensely. Whether it is a sports, music or lounge and club theme, it sets the atmo-
sphere. Again, this atmosphere must represent the personality of the child. Baseball, football or soccer for sports; country, pop or rap for music; or a lounge theme by having cozy upholstered chairs and/or couches to best communicate and enjoy the party, are all a possibility.
WHAT CAN DECOR SAY ABOUT THE CHILD? Perhaps, the child started with T-ball at the age of 4 and moved up to softball and baseball as they got older – that sports theme of baseball shows most of what the child has spent so much of their time on. Perhaps, the young lady was always involved in dance and her dreams have always been to become a professional ballerina. There is so much that can be done to set up a “dance studio” theme where others at the party can participate and have their pictures taken. What was important to the child growing up should be a representation of them at their mitzvah.
26 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
WHAT IS OFTEN OVERLOOKED?
WHEN SHOULD FAMILIES START PLANNING?
Bar and bat mitzvahs are usually so well planned and thought of for years in advance that there is seldom anything overlooked. The only thing I can think of is when the wants and desires of the child are not honored and the event then becomes impersonal.
Parents should start planning at least a year in advance. The hardest part of the planning process is renting a venue on a weekend. Competing with weddings and graduations can be troublesome. Once a venue is established, then renting the equipment should take place at least a few months prior to the big day. Reservations for a venue and/or rental equipment can never be made too early in advance.
WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? The top three trends still remain as sports, music and lounge/ club themes. We seldom see or hear anything straying far from these themes. Let’s Entertain has also rented out concession equipment for both bar and bat mitzvahs. Depending upon the time of the year, the young person may want to have popcorn, cotton candy and/or snow cone machines as well to entertain their guests.
WHY IS DECOR A CRITICAL ASPECT OF THE PARTY? Decor is critical for the party because it sets the mood, it helps to better show family and friends the personality of the child, and aesthetically it shows something fun and festive is about to happen. Decor instantly shows guests that a celebration is about to occur and puts everyone in a festive mood. BM
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“The little details are what your guests and child will remember long after the party is complete.”
Discovery Photo
– Jeff Dick
Zone Entertainment
ENTERTAINMENT JEFF DICK
PARTNER AND PRESIDENT | ZONE ENTERTAINMENT | OAKWOOD VILLAGE WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT? A bar/bat mitzvah should really be thought of as two parties in one. You have a group of younger guests alongside their parents and grandparents, all enjoying the same atmosphere together. Laying out the entertainment to captivate both audiences at once is what simcha entertainment is all about. I help each of our guests through the process of creating a proper timeline, music programming and event flow from start to finish to accomplish this goal and interlace those two audiences together into a seamless experience.
IN WHAT WAYS DOES ENTERTAINMENT IMPACT THE PARTY ATMOSPHERE? Entertainment sets the tone and energy level of the entire event. From the moment your guests step into the event, they are experiencing the stimuli around them, which creates the atmosphere. Think of the last event you recently attended. What sticks out most in your mind a week later? After you pass by
the decor and eat dinner, you are left with entertainment as your largest contributing factor distinguishing a great event from an incredible one.
IN WHAT WAYS CAN ENTERTAINMENT BE USED UNIQUELY AND WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT A CHILD? One of the first questions I ask any of our new guests is “tell me about your child’s likes and interests.” This is because I want to incorporate elements special to the guest of honor whenever possible throughout the entire planning phase. Unique grand entrances, photo-favor opportunities, activities played and room layout are all opportunities to express individualism and make your event unique.
WHAT IS TYPICALLY OVERLOOKED? A well-rounded entertainment experience for all guests in attendance. Not everyone enjoys a dance party, however, many of your guests will. I suggest a more rounded approach to your entertainment lineup including
28 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
a DJ/emcee dance package, photo-favor system and an “extra” of choice (for example, giant games, airbrush, pingpong, claw machine, etc.) to allow as many guests as possible to be entertained from start to finish, regardless of their individual interests.
WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING? My quick list on trends are as follows: 1. Candlelighting ceremonies are out. 2. The days of everyone receiving a T-shirt with the event logo are being replaced with more personalized favors (for example, on-site airbrushed apparel, wax hands, wire carving, etc.). 3. Many guests are choosing to create their own reflection videos. 4. Your event doesn’t need a theme to be amazing.
WHEN SHOULD FAMILIES START PLANNING THIS ASPECT? Sooner is always better than later. Many of our guests initially reach out to us 12 to 18 months in advance, if not sooner. Securing your date early not
Dennis Crider Photography
Zone Entertainment only allows you first choice on extras such as our giant games, SportsZone sports simulator, photo systems and more, it also provides you a higher booking slot for first choice on performers such as your emcee and dancers.
WHAT IS YOUR BEST ADVICE? Be different, be unique and create an event that is special and unique to you, your family and your child. Many simchas have similar elements, but there are so many ways you can put a unique spin on the standard items to make them stand out and be different from the rest. The little details are what your guests and child will remember long after the party is complete. BM
“Photos give life to our memories. There really is no substitute for a good collection of photos to help relive a joyful event.” – David Tavens
Natural Light Studio
PHOTOGRAPHY DAVID TAVENS
OWNER AND PHOTOGRAPHER NATURAL LIGHT STUDIO | BEACHWOOD WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT? The most important thing to get right and consider when hiring a photographer is that there is a good fit on a professional level and especially on a personal level. The photographer you choose will be spending an entire day with your family and your best friends. Being comfortable with the photographer you choose will be reflected in the photos they take.
WHAT IS OFTEN OVERLOOKED? Things that are sometimes overlooked are how to fit the timing of the organized photo session(s) with the flow of the day. I like to take pictures at a pace that is comfortable for the people that hire me. A brief break or some downtime is a good thing to work into a photo session, especially leading up to a religious service. If you rush through a photoshoot it will show. Also, it’s worth nothing that people sometimes forget
that they should be enjoying the event as much as their family and friends. Hosting an event doesn’t mean you can’t have a good time as well.
HOW CAN PHOTOS HELP CAPTURE THE MEMORY? Photos give life to our memories. There really is no substitute for a good collection of photos to help relive a joyful event. A bar/ bat mitzvah day goes by very quickly and as a photographer, I am often relied upon to be an extra set of eyes for my clients. Proper preparation means I wake up the day of my client’s event knowing exactly what they expect to see in my day’s work. The required posed photos ensure that I bring key groups of people together. Photos at parties are meant to be candid accounts of folks celebrating and interacting with each other and not so much with me.
WHAT ARE THE CURRENT TRENDS? One trend I’ve noticed is that online desktop publishing op-
30 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
tions are growing in popularity. I’m finding that many of my clients like to try their hand at making their own photo albums and books. Although all of my clients get a collection of the edited photos from their event, many like that I also can provide them with the digital files for them to use in their own projects.
IN WHAT UNIQUE WAYS CAN PHOTOGRAPHY BE USED? I’m often asked to schedule a photoshoot prior to an event so my clients have current pictures they can use for their event. Photos are sometimes used for the temple bulletin announcement, for a program at the religious service, for a sign on a board at the party, for centerpieces and I’ve even arranged a “thank you” photo from the event to be sent out with thank you cards after the event.
WHEN SHOULD FAMILIES START PLANNING? Because temples and syna-
Lynd Bu L Villa •W G ICN Be
gogues assign the date three years in advance, planning for a bar/bat mitzvah is unlike any other event. Parents should not rush or feel pressured to make key decisions. With so many variables to consider, it’s tempting to want to get the process underway. Too often, life gets in the way. So, my advice is to target a date approximately one year before the event and have your big picture decisions made by then.
L
WHY ARE PHOTOS A CRITICAL ASPECT OF THE PARTY? Parties are the best time for candid photos. Candids are considered more authentic, spontaneous and show people being genuine. The shift in energy from the religious part of the day to the celebration is tangible and shows up well in photos. BM
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Custom Publishing
Lovely Somethings Invitations to Sidney Kent’s bar mitzvah, grandson of Nick and Ruthie George of Bath. Lovely Somethings worked with Sidney’s mother, Mimi, to design invitations that exude modern tastes through the type treatment, but also the fun of the party through Sidney’s photo as the envelope liner, double-thick card stock, Jimi Hendrix stamps and two tones of green for the envelopes.
STATIONERY LIZ SCOTT
OWNER AND CREATIVE DIRECTOR LOVELY SOMETHINGS | BATH WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT? The invitations should set the tone of everything – the first chance to tease what you are dreaming up. Elegant or fun, sassy or sports, anything is fair game as it should reflect your child.
WHICH STATIONERY AS� PECT SHOULD PARENTS FOCUS ON MOST? Invitations are the top of the list, period. Something you may not have given much thought to, though, is your seating plan. While most mitzvahs may not have assigned seating, parents really appreciate it and you could consider doing it in a playful way to entice the kids, like escort cards hanging from balloons, which are fun to find.
Or, in useful ways like wrapped around napkins that each guest then takes to their table, or doing a giant seating chart board.
WHAT IS OFTEN OVERLOOKED? Now that you’ve spent all of your time (and probably money) on the party, don’t forget to thank everyone. Whereas the invitations are the first thing people will see, the thank you cards are more than likely the last, so leave them with a glowing impression that again ties into your theme.
WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING NOW? Attitude. I know that’s very open, but every child is so different. It’s been so fun to see each individual personality shine – and no one wants to repeat what their
32 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
friends have done, which is why custom designed paper goods are so fun.
WHEN SHOULD PARENTS START PLANNING THE STATIONERY AND INVITA� TION ASPECT? While it’s not a wedding, it may feel like it. And honestly, it sometimes takes us as long to design a wedding invitation. I suggest getting started on your paper goods four months before the big day. That leaves plenty of time to work up a plan, go through proofs, printing and then the addressing of envelopes. Starting that early also gives you a road map for your other selections, like linens, as you will be armed with color swatches from our consult.
“It’s been so fun to see each individual personality shine – and no one wants to repeat what their friends have done, which is why custom designed paper goods are so fun.” – Liz Scott WHY IS STATIONERY A CRITICAL ASPECT OF THE CELEBRATION? If you strip it down to its core, the invitation is the thing that will get people there, telling them who, what, where, when and why. But it’s in the style that you do it that may help dictate how many people RSVP “yes.” A true stunner of an invitation will get people excited, and then they will note all of the touches when it comes time for the mitzvah – the place cards, the food signs, etc. People notice it all. BM
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“The planning process also gives parents and grandparents an opportunity to discuss values with the child – the values of our tradition, the values the family embraces, the way in which the child’s grandparents, especially, model or have modeled these values.” – The Temple-Tifereth Israel clergy
SYNAGOGUE
TEMPLE CLERGY
THE TEMPLE�TIFERETH ISRAEL | BEACHWOOD WHAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO GET RIGHT? The b’nai mitzvah ceremony is the culmination and celebration of a process of learning, of reflection and of personal growth. During the service, our b’nai mitzvah will lead us in prayer, teach us and tell us about themselves and their journey. Yet, this moment is not just the culmination of personal learning, reflection and growth: it is also a statement of commitment to a community of heritage and values we hold dear.
WHAT CAN THE CEREMONY SAY ABOUT A CHILD? The ceremony “announces” to their community that these young people have prepared and are committed to taking their first steps into Jewish adulthood. While we cannot expect a 13 year old to take on all responsibilities of adult life (Jewish or otherwise), it is a time for them to look inward and explore (with our help) the areas where they can grow and mature as they enter into a
lifelong quest of Jewish learning and living. As clergy, we like to tell our students and their families that this ceremony and celebration is just one of many special moments in a lifetime of Jewish moments. Nevertheless, in the end we all know how important this one day can be for all of us.
WHAT IS OFTEN OVERLOOKED WHEN PLANNING? Planning the ceremony. Many b’nai mitzvah receive their dates three years in advance. However, they may not start thinking about the actual ceremony until they begin their official b’nai mitzvah training. Families can help their students by making sure that the ceremony and the hard work it will take to prepare for it doesn’t take a backseat to planning for the party or celebration.
WHAT TRENDS ARE YOU SEEING IN CEREMONIES? Instead of using the word “trend,” we might like to use the phrase “newer traditions.” Here at The
34 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
Temple-Tifereth Israel, when we have a b’nai mitzvah student who feels musically confident, we encourage them to find a way to express their feelings for their Jewish heritage through music. Over the years, we’ve had students play “Oseh Shalom” or other Jewish pieces on guitar, cello, harp, violin, bass and trumpet, just to name a few. We have also invited several students who have a love of singing to lead prayers or songs that would normally be sung or chanted by the cantor.
WHEN SHOULD PARENTS START PLANNING THE CEREMONY? Our students receive their b’nai mitzvah dates three years in advance. Discussions about the ceremony can begin that early. The planning process also gives parents and grandparents an opportunity to discuss values with the child – the values of our tradition, the values the family embraces, the way in which the child’s grandparents, especially, model or have modeled these values.
WHY IS THIS A CRITICAL ASPECT OF A MITZVAH? It is upon us to encourage all families – those with children preparing to become a b’nai mitzvah, those with young children still years away from becoming b’nai mitzvah and those whose children have already satisfied the mitzvah – to emphasize the importance of maintaining a connection to their Jewish community. The significance of this experience is for the student, with the support of their family, clergy and congregation, to feel like they are becoming part of something bigger than themselves and to understand that they are a legacy and our gift to the future. BM This interview was edited for brevity. The responses were given by The Temple-Tifereth Israel’s clergy team: Senior Rabbi Jonathan Cohen, Rabbi Roger Klein, Rabbi Stacy Schlein and Cantor Kathryn Wolfe Sebo.
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Party 411 Photos / Mariana Edelman Photography & Design
PLANNING PARTY
REMEMBER
Emphasize Jewish traditions and prioritize important details to ensure a fun and special bash By Skylar Dubelko
Noteworthy Events / Michael Snyder Photography
W
hile children spend months to years preparing for their bar or bat mitzvah, parents spend a reasonable amount of time drawing up plans for the party following the religious ceremony.
To help combat stress surrounding such planning, the mother-daughter team who own Noteworthy Events in Solon and Cincinnati, Kim Singerman and Shari Hiudt, as well as Party411 Events in Warrensville Heights founder Sherri Foxman and event specialist Amy Bilsky, offer advice for approaching the party.
START AT THE �JEWISH� BEGINNING Parents who bring in Singerman for her party planning expertise typically have an idea of what they want, she says. Some want “that over the top party –
36 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
which isn’t always necessary,” Singerman says. Others are looking for something “a little bit more true to Judaism.” With all the hype around the party, she says the emphasis on Judaism can get overlooked. “That’s a harsh statement – I know – but it’s about family and it’s about community, and
that I think that needs to be first and foremost,” Singerman says. Historically, the party celebrated a child’s entry into Jewish adulthood. “People got away from candlelightings and speeches and all of that,” Singerman says. Now, “it’s more about the show. You want it to be a celebration of the child – the family and the community is part of that – without
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“Whether at your child’s Consecration, Bar/Bat Mitzvah, Confirmation, or wherever we encounter them, we’ll show how each of their lives is worth the life of the whole world.”
Guests can enjoy: 225 luxuriously appointed Guest Rooms and The Leopard, a fine-dining Hospitality Suites. restaurant rated Four Diamonds Multiple Ballrooms to accommodate 30-500 by AAA Experienced Event Coordinators to assist with Game room Guests can enjoy: theme in choosing individual room design, color 225 luxuriously appointed Guest Rooms and Sushi bar schemes and menus The Leopard, a fine-dining Hospitality Suites. restaurant rated Four Diamonds Paws casual restaurant Special Rates for Overnight Guests MultipleGroup Ballrooms to accommodate 30-500 by AAA Kosher Catering available Experienced Event Coordinators to assist with Free Parking Guests enjoy: Gamecan room 225 Roomscolor and themeluxuriously in choosingappointed individualGuest room design, The Leopard, a fine-dining Guests can Sushi bar enjoy: schemes and menus Hospitality Suites. 225 luxuriously appointed Guest Rooms and restaurant rated Four Diamonds The a fine-dining PawsLeopard, casual restaurant Multiple Ballrooms to accommodate Special Group Rates for Overnight 30-500 Guests Hospitality Suites. by AAA rated Four Diamonds Experienced Event Coordinators to assist with restaurant Free Parking Kosher Ballrooms Catering available Multiple to accommodate 30-500 Game AAAroom theme in choosing individual room design, colorwith by Experienced Event Coordinators to assist Sushi schemes menus Gamebar room theme in and choosing for a personal touchindividual room design, color Paws Special Rates for Overnight Guests Sushi casual bar restaurant schemesGroup and menus Free Parking Kosher Catering available Paws casual restaurant Special Group Rates for Overnight Guests Free Parking Kosher Catering available Inn & Conference Center 600 N. Aurora Rd. • Aurora, Ohio 44202 Toll free600 (877) 995-0200 • Road www.thebertraminn.com N.Aurora z Aurora,Ohio 44202
Toll Free (877) 995-0200 z www.thebertraminn.com Inn & Conference Center 600 N.Aurora Road z Aurora,Ohio 44202 Toll Free (877) 995-0200 z www.thebertraminn.com Inn & Conference Center Inn & Conference Center
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WHITNEY NEIDUS | EVENTS DIRECTOR | 440.461.4653 x232 | WNEIDUS@STONEWATERGOLF.COM 1 CLUB DRIVE HIGHLAND HTS, OH 44143 | WWW.STONEWATERGOLF.COM Spring 2020 // Bar•Bat Mitzvah 37
Noteworthy Events / Sherri Barber Photography
losing sight of what it should be.” Hiudt shares a similar mindset. “It’s really about the bar or bat mitzvah, and it’s really about the service,” Hiudt explains. “I think it gets lost into the party and I think it needs to get brought back to the whole reasoning behind it.”
MAKING PLANS When planning such a party, Singerman and Foxman both say the guest list should be finalized first. “One of the things that people overlook right from the get-go is the number of people they have based on the room that they’re going to use,” Foxman says. “People tend to underestimate or overestimate the guest list – you need to make your guest list and then find a venue.” Singerman says keeping the guest count down to a manageable number saves money across the board. “It gives you more dollars per person,” Singerman adds, “but, also, the chances of going over budget aren’t as great.” After the guest list and venue are finalized, all four professionals say food, entertainment and photography should come next. “You have to have the food, so really the most important thing is finding a caterer,” Foxman says. Identifying entertainment as the second most important aspect, she adds, “You’re not going to do the party unless you have a deejay, or some type of band or some type of entertainment, so those are two things you really have to prioritize.” Echoing Foxman, Bilsky adds families need not go “overboard” with decorations. “If you can have some fun centerpieces and great lighting, and something that sort of shows off the personality of the kid,” Bilsky says. “That’s really all you need.”
38 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
FOOD SPECIALTIES Hiudt says she likes to use food that doubles as a decoration. “I always tell my clients to pick one ‘wow’ factor,” Hiudt says. “So really focus on one thing that they want, instead of being all over the place.” At a recent bat mitzvah, she commissioned a wall to hold 66 “Chinese soup spoons,” holding various desserts, in a separate dessert room. “People can just grab a bite off the wall, and it’s for people who don’t want to eat a whole piece of cake or a dessert and just want like, a little sweet bite,” Hiudt explains. Describing her “spoon wall” as a play on licking a spoon or spatula while baking, she says flavors included chocolate ganache, white chocolate with sprinkles and cookie dough. “It’s all about how everything makes you feel,” Hiudt says. Aromas awaken one’s senses, and according to Hiudt, that’s what younger people are looking for. “People want interactive food stations,” she adds. At the same bat mitzvah with the spoon treats, the dessert room also featured balloons “floating around and at the bottom of them (were) containers with macaroons, and popcorn balls, and truffles and stuff like that.”
STREAMLINE ENTERTAINMENT In terms of entertainment, Hiudt notes deejays often come with dancers and motivators, which can cost a pretty penny. She warns against adding games that will take away from the deejay and their job. Foxman agrees. Explaining people have a tendency to put the deejay in one room and games in another, Foxman advises against turning one party into two.
Party 411 Photos / Elizabeth Glorioso Photography “You’re going to dilute your dance floor, and it’s just breaking up your party – you’re asking for trouble,” Foxman says. Asked if there’s such a thing as too many activities, Foxman says it depends on the child. “If the child is a very social child, likes dancing, a lot of them are happy with just the deejay and the deejay games. I say you don’t need the other stuff,” Foxman explains. “If the child is more shy, and there’s not a lot of girls coming or there’s not a lot of boys coming, then you might have more games and the dancing is secondary.” Noting it’s important to include the child in the planning process, Foxman says she interviews each child prior to planning their mitzvah party. “We talk to them about what they want and how they see it,” Foxman says. “What other bar (or bat) mitzvahs have they been to and what did they like about (them), what did they not like?” At the end of the day, Bilsky says families should try to have fun planning a child’s mitzvah party. “It’s a once in a lifetime experience, so they should really see what their child loves and try to plan an event that their child’s never going to forget,” Bilsky says. “I guess for me, it’s really all about – for the party, at least – just having fun and really celebrating the child.” BM Publisher’s Note: Kim Singerman is married to Paul Singerman, a member of the CJPC Board of Directors
In the lifetime of a Jewish family there is so much to celebrate. Whether you are a young adult becoming a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, a couple preparing for marriage, a family with small children looking ahead to religious school, or an adult wanting to renew or build a connection to a synagogue community, The Temple provides that special place. Become a part of The Temple family and celebrate with us. For information, contact Allison Shippy, Director of Member Services at 216.455.1703 or ashippy@ttti.org.
Jack and Lilyan Mandel Building 26000 Shaker Boulevard, Beachwood 216.831.3233 • www.ttti.org
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Spring 2020 // Bar•Bat Mitzvah 39
Northeast Ohio welcomes two new party spots for an action-packed simcha
Topgolf
ENERGETIC EVENTS By Amy Richards
M
ost families want their bar or bat mitzvah parties to stand out, and fortunately, there are new activity options on the Northeast Ohio party scene. Representatives from Topgolf in Independence and The Workz on the Riverfront in Cuyahoga Falls say their spots offer a unique celebration that’s action filled. GOLF IN ANY SEASON
Topgolf 40 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
Party guests don’t have to be scratch golfers to enjoy a bar or bat mitzvah celebration at Topgolf, which opened its first Northeast Ohio location in December 2019. In fact, Steve Korey, director of sales at Topgolf Cleveland, says the majority of guests are non-golfers. “It is more about social engagement and having fun than being a skilled golfer,” he says. Topgolf has three floors which house 10 indoor and outdoor entertainment spaces that can accommodate parties of various sizes. Each floor has 34 climate-controlled golf bays with either high-top tables or soft seating. Six players can golf in each bay, choosing from a variety of electronically scored games for beginner, intermediate or advanced levels. Micro-chip golf balls are used so when you hit a target, the score is reflected on the screen in your bay. Smaller party spaces can hold 20 to 75 people and can be roped off to be semi-private.
The largest indoor space, the Chairman’s Suite, encompasses the entire third floor of the venue and holds 150 people comfortably for a sit-down dinner. It can be completely closed off for your event, and it can be customized to reflect the child’s theme. And although there is not a dance floor in the suite, it opens up to a large outdoor terrace perfect for a DJ and dancing, and has couches, firepits, umbrellas and a view of downtown Cleveland. If you are looking for a bigger event space, Topgolf’s first-floor outdoor patio can accommodate 300 people in the spring, summer and fall. It has outdoor games like cornhole, along with firepits, festive string lighting and comfortable seating. The first-floor golf bays open directly to this outdoor area so guests can utilize both spaces for a good mix of golf and socializing. Topgolf has a full-service restaurant and bar, and offers catering packages. Options include light appetizers and small bites, such as wrapped dates or a hummus platter, as well as all-American, Italian table or backyard BBQ packages. A team of party coordinators help design the special event, and although Topgolf does not have a kosher kitchen, it works with kosher caterers to meet a party’s needs. “Topgolf is all about creating experiences for our guests that connect people in meaningful ways through our special blend of technology and entertainment, and is a fun place for kids and adults to celebrate a special occasion,” says Korey, who suggests booking as soon as possible for events.
ARCADE, ENTERTAINMENT AND MORE The Workz on the Riverfront opens at the end of May in the newly restored Falls Theater. Built in 1923, the theater is on the National Register of Historic Places and has undergone a head-to-toe renovation. Tim Frankish, co-owner and director of marketing and entertainment, explains, “It has all of the charm and character of a 1920s building, but with all of the amenities of a modern venue.” As guests approach the indoor entertainment mecca, they will be welcomed by a photo of the b’nai mitzvah child digitally displayed on the theater’s large outdoor video screen marquee. The 17,000-square-foot facility is divided into areas for entertainment, and the entire space can be dedicated to a personalized celebration. On the main floor is a stage suitable for a DJ or band. The stage is surrounded by restaurant-style seating for 150 people and plenty of space to dance the night – or day – away. Dance floor lighting is included in
The Workz
The Workz every package to make the party dazzle. An upper level features duckpin bowling for kids ages 5 and older. “Duckpin bowling uses a smaller ball, 8-inch pins and shorter than typical lanes, which makes for a lot of fun,” Frankish says. Also, on the upper level is an arcade where guests can jump into the action by playing one of 25 retro or modern interactive games, including 2-player Mario Kart GP DX, Halo: Fireteam Raven, DC Superheroes, NBA Hoops, Skee-Ball and Connect 4 Hoops HD. From the arcade, guests can move to the virtual reality gaming simulator, where they wear high-tech goggles, vests and headsets and play back-to-back as they fight enemies such as robots, zombies, dragons or Angry Birds. They can play either cooperatively or competitively. If adult guests need a break from all of the fun and noise, they can escape to the basement which houses a 1920s-themed speakeasy where unique Prohibition-style cocktails and snacks are served. A social hall is tucked away in a room off the main floor
where guests can play cards, board games, darts or shuffleboard. Also, 40 projection screens are placed throughout the venue, so no matter where guests are, they can see the action in the main celebration areas. Or, you can flip the channel to your favorite sporting events. All the activity will likely make guests hungry. The Workz offers food and drink options from flatbread pizzas, wings and sliders, to custom-designed higher-end menus created by the on-site executive chef. The venue does not have a kosher kitchen, but can work with kosher caterers to meet a party’s needs. Frankish says he and his sales managers will help design unique events from start to finish. “We have a couple of different options so that it is affordable and fun for everyone,” says Frankish, who recommends booking six to eight months in advance of the big day. “If you are trying to break out of the conventional ballroom-type atmosphere, look no further.” BM
Spring 2020 // Bar•Bat Mitzvah 41
Mariana Edelman Photography & Design / RollHouse Entertainment
PICTURE-PERFECT PARTIES
Venues across Northeast Ohio offer ideal backdrops for b’nai mitzvah parties, making the night one to remember By Michelle Jacobson
A
ny family planning a bar or bat mitzvah celebration wants it to be a night everyone will remember and enjoy. That’s why choosing a venue is often high on the list in the planning process. Signature of Solon
Once the perfect space is secured to host the party, the rest of the details can fall into place. Whether one is looking for an entertainment space that keeps children and teenagers busy with activities and games, or if they want a venue with a serene atmosphere and customizable services, representatives from RollHouse Entertainment and Signature of Solon say the setting is a vital aspect of creating a celebration that’s memorable for guests of all ages.
ENTERTAINMENT DESTINATION RollHouse Entertainment, with locations in Solon, Mentor, Fairfield, Parma and Wickliffe, offers bowling, laser tag, escape room games and dining. And when kids, teens and relatives come through the door, it aims to have something for everyone, says Sue Gable, director of sales and marketing. “The one thing that sets us apart is that we are authentic,” Gable says. “Every location is different and we cater toward each specific community. We are family owned and operated.” Inside, there are 26 bowling lanes and an eight-lane private suite. The conference room can also open up to serve as a bar area for older guests.
42 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
“Bar and bat mitzvah parties last a few hours, so you want to make sure to keep things moving throughout the night,” Gable explains. “Kids can be off playing laser tag or in the game room while a smaller group of parents can hang out in the lounge.” To keep everything organized throughout the night, staff will keep sign-up sheets for the kids to arrange groups and times for each section of the venue. The venue also offers accommodations to personalize parties.. The staff can arrange balloon displays and special entrances for the guest of honor to walk through as an introduction. This helps get the crowd and excitement going for the night. In regard to planning, Gable suggests families start planning one year ahead. During the initial meeting with the RollHouse staff, a contract and tentative timeline will be put together to develop a picture of how the night will be. “We work with parents to make sure they understand the timeline,” Gable adds. “This includes how guests will be arriving, timing of a welcome speech, thanking guests and when dinner will be served.”
floor. Therefore, families can dedicate the full floor for their bar or bat mitzvah celebration. There is also space in the venue for parents to have their own separate area, if desired. With Signature of Solon’s food offerings and multiple rooms, there is the perfect amount of space for a photo booth, activities and more, says Julianne Pittman, private events sales director. “The venue is truly a blank canvas,” Pittman says in an email. “Each space can be customized to fit each person’s unique taste and preferences for their bar or bat mitzvah. We offer a gigantic dance floor perfect for dancing the hora or taking a massive group photo.” There is also a dedicated catering and event management team available on-site. In the ballroom, projection screens can be used for
slideshows or any personalized videography. Pittman says in order to choose the most suitable space at the facility, it’s best for parents to start planning by confirming a theme or vision for the event early on. Other important factors include budget, guest count and menu. Parents often neglect to approach the event as multi-generational, she says. However, it is important to consider when planning menus, activities and budget. “Parents should select venues that offer on-site event coordination and experienced staff,” Pittman adds. “The most important piece of any event is selecting a suitable venue that will support the event vision. This is where the planning process should begin.” BM
Signature of Solon
UNFORGETTABLE SETTINGS Signature of Solon, a golf and country club in Solon, is situated on 600 acres and offers several social and recreational amenities. The interior design makes for a warm and elegant atmosphere. The private ballroom allows families to fully customize their experience. The largest space is just shy of 10,000 square feet and occupies the entire second
Mariana Edelman Photography & Design / RollHouse Entertainment
Spring 2020 // Bar•Bat Mitzvah 43
A GIFT TO SAVE O n c e t h e p a r t y i s o v e r , c e l e b r a n t s w i l l l i k e ly b e g i f t e d s o m e c a s h . How should they manage it? By Skylar Dubelko
M
any people give monetary gifts in multiples of $18 – symbolic of giving “chai,” or life – to celebrate a bar or bat mitzvah becoming a Jewish adult. The day after the religious ceremony and subsequent party, these teenagers often wake up with a good chunk of change. According to Karey L. Edwards, a senior financial advisor for NCA Financial Planners in Mayfield Heights, 13 is the perfect age for young adults to lay the foundation for good financial
behaviors that, hopefully, will be carried into adulthood. On the topic of helping a child or teen decide what to do with their mitzvah money, she recommends carving out a third of their money for spending and two-thirds for saving. Each third should further be broken down into time frames. “So a third of it’s for short
44 Bar•Bat Mitzvah // Spring 2020
term goals, and that might just be, ‘I’m going to go out and have fun and do something for myself,’” Edwards says. “A third of it is more medium term – maybe when they’re 16, they’re going to buy a car, or maybe there’s an experience that they want to have or trip that they want to take – and they can start putting some money away for that medium term purpose.” A longer term purpose might be college. Edwards says at bar or bat mitzvah age, young adults might be ready to speak with their parents about “‘how much mom and dad are contributing to college, or am I
Edwards going to have to have some skin in the game?’ and start thinking about that as well.” “If college is going to be paid for,” Edwards says, “It could maybe turn into, ‘Well, when I graduate, then I have a little bit of a nest egg to get started in life.’”
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Edwards notes another good concept to touch on is paying oneself for the future first. “That comes into play later. For example, when you’re working and you have a 401(k) and you start saving for your future, and you just don’t even think about that,” Edwards says. “That goes back to what I said about, you know, they do get a portion of that money now to spend on whatever they want, but then start setting that stage of paying yourself first in terms of saving.” The financial advisor says goal setting and budgeting are other important lessons to consider. It’s also a great time to start teaching young adults money basics and concepts such as compound interest. She refers to “the time value of money – meaning putting a little bit away over time, if you can capture that compound interest, it will grow to a larger sum later.” And for parents who would
rather not gift children and teens cash, Thomas Lockshin, Israel Bonds executive director for Ohio and Kentucky, says if a parent purchases an Israel bond of $100 or more for their child’s bar or bat mitzvah, Park Synagogue in Pepper Pike and Cleveland Heights, Temple Emanu El in Orange, B’nai Jeshurun Congregation in Pepper Pike and Anshe Chesed Fairmount Temple in Beachwood will match it with a 5-Year Mazel Tov Savings Bond, a $100 Israel bond for that child. The time following the bar or bat mitzvah also could be beneficial to start letting children and teens figure out some money-related things for themselves – with a parent’s guidance, of course. This is something Edwards already does with her 8-year-old daughter. “I was in the store with my daughter over the weekend and she had decided that she wanted to get a purse,” Edwards recalls. “She had a gift card, but
the purse was more than what her gift card was for.” Instead of telling her what she “should do,” Edwards said she started asking questions “to get her mind thinking about different things and coming to her own conclusion.” Edwards notes, at young ages, getting comfortable with money should be an ongoing process and conversations about it often boil down to
“needs versus wants.” “You can start this type of conversation even when they’re younger, and then keep it moving all through their teenage years,” Edwards says. “I think at that point, it is about teaching them the things that they need versus the things that would be nice to have, and also linking things that they’re ‘wanting,’ with goals.” BM
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