Issuu

More problems or are we a mob of whingers?

MICHAEL MOORE

No barrguments, it’s all about smugervesence KEEPING UP THE ACT

Don’t spell ‘part’ backwards... it’s a trap!

CLIVE WILLIAMS

OCTOBER 26, 2023

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Renovation Matters operations manager Amy Gannon, left, with owner Kim Persson.

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By Lily PASS

IAN Warburton says he and his wife, Connie, thrive in chaos, as the countdown for Halloween enters single digits, but they’ve been preparing for three months already.

becoming overrun by troublesome pirates, says Ian, 69, as he puts the finishing touches on “The Buccaneer’s Strumpet” pirate ship.

a kraken to put together as well, there are also skeleton pirates walking the plank, and one drinking a neverending supply of white rum,” he says.

our props together, it is absolutely a huge effort, but it’s really great fun,” says Ian.

when we moved to Wanniassa in 2013, it was just a little display then, a few inflatables here and there.

“Then, about six or seven years ago, we just went crazy. We built a haunted house for the driveway and it was very popular, so we’ve continued ever since.”

Initially, he says, they had a storage unit in Phillip to store their props, but

Arts & Entertainment 27-30

Crossword & Sudoku 31

Dining & Wine 30

Gardening 26

Keeping Up the ACT 10

Letters 15

News 3-15

Politics 6, 11

Tricks, treats and a whole house of happy horrors

times throw $20 notes into their charity bucket, and it makes everything worthwhile.

“Stella Bella is a local charity, for local people, and the charity is about families and kids, which is also what Halloween is about,” he says.

Every year Ian and Connie raise between $1000 and $3000.

“Across six or seven years, it’s a pretty reasonable contribution, and we are very proud of the fact that every cent goes straight to Stella Bella,” he says.

“We don’t take any out for expenses, if we did there wouldn’t be any money going to charity at all!”

For the people who can’t make it on Halloween night, Ian says they keep the house open for a few nights afterwards, too.

thousand people walking through.”

In a further contribution to the community, Ian and Connie, 56, encourage visitors to contribute a gold coin donation towards Stella Bella Little Stars

“There’s a lot of people who, for whatever reason, can’t handle crowds, so they are welcome to come back a day or two after Halloween when it’s quiet,” he says.

October 31 – is absolutely frantic, but always pays off, especially once it all comes together on Halloween night.

“We’ve had people queuing up the whole street to see our display, it’s just crazy, but everyone has a great time and so do we, it’s our contribution to our community.”

Ian says it’s great to watch the kids

were so excited to live in the Halloween House street.

“A lot of people see Halloween as American rubbish and think we don’t need it here, but we say if you’ve got no fun in your life you’ll say stuff like that.

“We know lots of people enjoy it because of the massive turnout we get every year, we’d easily get several

Since 1993: Volume 29, Number: 43

Streaming 29 Cover: Love them or loathe them, we can’t get by without flies. Story Page 8.

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“Stella Bella supports seriously ill children and their families, when and how they need it most,” says Ian.

“It’s a charity we’ve been supporting since we started running this Halloween House.”

Ian says while he thinks the decision to go all out in their display was “a little bit insane”, people now some -

“There is so much work that goes into putting it all up, there’s no way we’re going to put it all up just for one night, we have to make the most of it.

“On Halloween, we open at 5pm and close at 9pm officially, but people always come earlier or later, and we don’t care. It’s open from 6pm to 9pm the next three nights.”

Halloween House, 26 Osmand Street, Wanniassa.

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Halloween fan Ian Warburton… “A lot of people see Halloween as American rubbish and think we don’t need it here, but we say if you’ve got no fun in your life you’ll say stuff like that.”

Photos: Lily Pass

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Sunday 29 October 10am -1pm

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Family fun day for kids affected by chronic pain, juvenile arthritis, hypermobility conditions, autoimmune conditions that cause pain and/or fatigue, or post viral malaise or related conditions or anyone seeking a fun halloween activity

Healthy Halloween Bones! Oct 29 2023

• All day free face painting for the kids

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COVER STORY / flies

It’s a bumper start to the buzz of fly season

Fly season: THOMAS WHITE and TANYA LATTY explain what you need to know about Australia’s most common flies and how to keep them away...

AS the days grow longer and temperatures climb, we’re greeted by a familiar chorus of buzzing. It’s fly season again.

This year is off to a bumper start, with bush flies swarming beachgoers, March flies on the march, and mosquitoes taking to the skies en masse.

But with almost a million species worldwide and some 30,000 calling Australia home, the (unusually) warm weather also presents an opportunity to appreciate these remarkable and essential insects with whom we share our world.

Despite their sheer diversity, we’re likely to encounter only a select few flies daily. So who are these curious insects, and how should we think about their presence in our lives?

Familiar faces

Bush flies (Musca vetustissima) are the iconic Australian fly, and are found country-wide. They slake their thirst on the sweat and tears of mammals and so linger around our heads, shoulders and faces in search of a refreshing drink.

They’re so persistent that they’re credited with inspiring the “Aussie

salute”. These small explorers are otherwise harmless, and pose no serious threat to health or home beyond being a mild nuisance.

Similar in appearance are house flies (Musca domestica), which frequent our homes. Unlike bush flies, however, they’re more interested in scraps of food and waste left unprotected. They regurgitate digestive juices to break solids into a mush more amenable to their straw-like mouths, and can pose a minor hygiene concern as a consequence.

to livestock. They are also, however, excellent pollinators, with some orchids relying on their hard work and specialised mouthparts for survival.

Blowflies bring some sparkle to the fly world, and are easily recognised by their often large, shiny bodies. Although sometimes a pest, they’re also voracious scavengers and effective pollinators. In this way they do their bit to break down organic matter, recycle nutrients, and transport pollen to support plant life.

The sheer size of horseflies makes them powerful fliers, which can often be heard and seen at a distance.

Females demand a blood meal and so pack a hearty bite to mammals, including us, and can be a nuisance

Finally, and famously, are mosquitoes (yes, they are a type of fly). Many summer evenings are spent swatting females as they sip our blood.

More serious is their role as vectors for diseases that have helped to topple empires, and which remain a significant health burden, especially in the Global South. Malaria is among the farthest-reaching, while Ross River Virus, chikungunya, zika and dengue all circulate with help from mosquitoes.

Shoo fly?

For the minority of flies that prove a recurring annoyance, the primary

goal is to deter rather than kill them. In this case, the remedies are simple: use topical repellents containing DEET or Picaridin, and wear loosefitting clothing when outside. install flyscreens in the house, and check them regularly for holes. keep your food covered, both at home and when out enjoying the warm

empty your bins regularly and minimise standing water, both of which can attract unwanted attention. Avoid reaching for the bug-bombs and sprays, which have devastating impacts on beneficial insects. If a chemical last resort is required, choose selective sprays rather than broad-spectrum options such as pyrethroids and neonicotinoids, which kill the many good bugs with the few bad ones.

From pesky to paramount

Flies are among the most diverse animals on the planet, and are utterly crucial for the healthy function of our ecosystems.

Many, like hover flies, are important pollinators. In an era of pollinator declines and heightened food insecurity, their ongoing work is key to supporting agricultural production, and plant life more generally.

On the other side of the circle of life are outstanding decomposers, such as black soldier flies. Each individual

larva can eat twice its bodyweight daily, which at the scale of tens of thousands of grubs presents a promising pathway towards sustainable waste management. They are also a rich source of protein for livestock or even humans.

Just as a very few flies are pests, many serve as remedies in their role as biological controls. The 10,000-odd species of tachinid , for example, make a living as parasitoids of other insects. That is, they lay their eggs inside, and eventually kill the developing young of others, which include pest caterpillars, flies and bugs.

Moreover, flies have proven invaluable in forensics, medicine and scientific research, and environmental monitoring, underscoring how deeply our lives intertwine with theirs.

Fly on

As the warm weather rolls around, then, take the opportunity to look a little closer at our nimble neighbours, and consider both their staggering diversity and the vital roles they humbly fill. The natural world – us included – would not be the same without them.

Thomas White, senior lecturer, University of Sydney and Tanya Latty, associate professor, University of Sydney. This article is republished from The Conversation.

21 OCT - 31 MAR 2024

Guns and flowers represent two extremes. The gun as a weapon designed to threaten, defend, maim, or kill. The flower, alluringly coloured, shaped and scented to ensure its ongoing pollination. Both have been deployed within the work of acclaimed Canberra based contemporary ar tist eX de Medici and Sidney Nolan.

In time for Christmas – here are some exclusive extracts from “The Canberra Wronglish Dictionary”, a new, nation-leading way of making sense of the ACT government.

Announcamacallit /əˈnaʊns-əmɑː-kɔːl-ɪt/ n. 1. A public announcement made by the ACT government that promises vague action but contains no specifics and is forgotten about within a week.

The Chief Minister made an important announcamacallit today about building a new stadium somewhere in Canberra, at some time in the future, for some unspecified cost.

Barrgument /bɑːɡjəmənt/ n. 1. A reason given to support a matter that only makes sense to Andrew Barr. v. to Barrgue.

The Chief Minister barrgued that wasteful spending and racking up debt was going to result in a massive budget surplus next year.

Cambnesia /kæm nesia/ n 1. A Canberran form of amnesia experienced by rusted-on Labor and Greens voters to the many failings of the ACT government.

You must be suffering from Cambnesia if you think these guys have done a good job!

CFMEU Secure Local Jobs Code

/siː-ɛf-ɛm-iː-juː ˌmɛməˈrændəm ɒv ˌʌndəˈstændɪŋ/ n 1. A nod and a wink between the government and da boyz to fleece businesses and ACT taxpayers. Used to occur behind closed doors with brown paper bags and knuckle dusters. Also known as The Mates Code. 2. An agreement considered inappropriate in all other jurisdictions. 3. Nothing to see here. Move along people.

Complainted /kɒm pleɪn tɛd/ adj. 1. The high level of complaints that indicate that an ACT government project has been completed.

Chris Steel announced that, after three years of on-and-off construction, the shoddy new playground, without toilets or taps, was finally complainted.

Dutt-in /dʌt ɪn/ v. 1. To clumsily interfere in Australian Capital Territory affairs.

The Opposition Leader tried to dutt-in to overturn the ACT’s drug laws.

See also Cash-grab and the phrase, the dogs bark, but the Canavan rolls on.

Gentle Urbanism /ˈʤɛntᵊl ɜːˈbeɪnɪzᵊm/ n. 1. An imaginary form of housing that is neither gentle nor urbane. 2. An architectural form of religious fervour favoured by those who have drunk the Kool-Aid. 3. The basis for a teary country song about regret amidst urban decay. See Gentle on My Mind by Glen Campbell.

Keep-Cup Dictator /kiːp kʌp dɪkˈteɪtə/ n. 1. A progressive autocratic-ruler who has delusions of

grandeur and little political credibility. Similar to tin-pot dictators but involving rainbow roundabouts and compulsive take-overs of religious institutions.

Missing Middle /ˈmɪsɪŋ ˈmɪdᵊl / n. 1. The raising of the middle finger by the Chief Minister to anyone in Canberra looking to buy or rent an affordable home.

Smugervescence /smʌɡ eə vess sance/ n. 1. The showy expression of satisfaction that ACT government officials have in their achievements. 2. To intrinsically know that you are right about everything and to never question yourself or take advice from others. 3. A form of self-delusion and communal narcissism.

Rachel Stephen-Smith had a supreme sense of smugervescence that she was doing a great job making ACT health care the best in the country!

Stubbornment /stʌbən ment/ n. 1. The unique form of government that operates in the ACT. 2. The semblance of an organised institution that stubbornly pursues ideological causes instead of doing its day job of running a half-decent council. 3. A government that won’t be told what to do by experts, citizens or anyone.

Tram /træm/ n. 1. A shiny red thing that Shane has really, really wanted since he was a kid, but Santa never gave him. 2. A colossal drain on all ACT government money. The origin of the term ‘in the red’. 3. A mythical form of transport to Woden, Tuggeranong and Belconnen. -v. 4. The dysfunctional diversion of bus services to make it look like all of Canberra is enthusiastically using the tram. v. to tram.

The ACT bus network is so crap these days because everything is being deliberately trammed by the government.

Trammany Hall /træm ˈmɛni hɔːl/ n. 1. The ACT Legislative Assembly. 2. A cosy ACT political assemblage exercising municipal political control by methods of absolutism. 3. A shady political structure designed to divert all council resources to a red choochoo tram. See also Tramalot.

Zed /zɛd/ idiom. 1. An exclamation that invokes violent reactions from ACT citizens. 2. Based on a mythical scapegoat for everything that has gone wrong in the ACT. 3. Also regarded as a sexy bad-boy by older right-wingers with pocket squares. See Sky News. Holy Zed, that was terrible!

How ‘yes’ means ‘no’ for the

ALONG with a majority of Canberrans, I voted “yes” in the recent Voice referendum.

The reasons or rationale for those of us that voted “yes” are likely, in the main, to have been similar.

However, a factor in my decision to vote for constitutional recognition of First Nations peoples and an elected Aboriginal Voice to the Australian Parliament was that Aboriginal peoples in the ACT experience the worst or among the worst outcomes against most indicators, in Australia.

This is despite having, for more than the last decade, had both a progressive Labor/Greens government and an elected Aboriginal Voice, namely the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Elected Body (ATSIEB).

I should acknowledge I was responsible, as the then-chief minister of the ACT, for the establishment of ATSIEB. I established it in response to the decision taken by the Council of Australian Governments to abolish the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Commission.

In response to the distressing outcomes being experienced by Aboriginal residents of Canberra, Julie Tongs, CEO of Winnunga Nimmityjah Aboriginal Health and Community Service, of which I am an employee, and a cohort of acknowledged Aboriginal leaders in the ACT have been calling for several years, for a royal commission-style board of inquiry into Aboriginal disadvantage in the ACT.

Regrettably, their representations have

fallen on deaf ears despite the continuing slide in outcomes. Recently, in “CityNews”, I summarised the disturbingly poor outcomes being endured by the Aboriginal community of Canberra, which reveal that, across a wide range of indicators, the ACT has either the worst or among the second or third worst outcomes in Australia.

I think it’s reasonable to conclude that the strong, nation-leading support that we Canberrans have shown for a national Voice to the federal parliament is a response that reflects much more than our belief that both constitutional recognition and a legislated Voice are appropriate and just.

It suggests to me that we are collectively concerned about the egregious failure of the ACT government to respond in any meaningful way to the needs of the local Aboriginal community.

In other words, we were placing our faith

COTA ACT Seniors Achievement Awards NOMINATIONS ARE NOW OPEN

The strong, nationleading support we Canberrans have shown for a national Voice suggests to me a collective concern about the egregious failure of the ACT government to respond in any meaningful way to the needs of the local Aboriginal community.

in the capacity that we believed a national Voice might have, to either ensure or encourage the ACT government – and indeed all other governments – to take the needs of the Aboriginal community seriously.

To illustrate the seriousness of the ACT government’s failure to support the Canberra Aboriginal community and its lackadaisical approach to addressing disadvantage I will highlight a couple of examples, say, incarceration rates and child protection.

The Productivity Commission reported in January that the rate ratio of Aboriginal men to non-Aboriginal men incarcerated in Canberra is 21 which is the highest rate in Australia. The national average is 15. Aboriginal peoples in the ACT constitute 1.9 per cent of the population but 26 per cent of the detainee population.

In addition, the recidivism rate of

COTA ACT is pleased to recognise outstanding individuals, community organisations, social and business enterprises that have made a significant contribution to improving the lives of older Canberrans.

Within our 6 award categories, we spotlight the importance of aged care, education and resourcefulness, outstanding service for seniors, diversity, social justice, advocacy and resilience within the older ACT community. The Awards recognise inspiring individuals, groups and organisations who lead as role models for their communities and the ACT. They are an opportunity to celebrate the contributions, achievements, and diversity of seniors.

“The Seniors Achievement Awards 2023 are a chance for all of us to say thank you, and to celebrate the many senior Canberrans and service providers who have given and shared their skills, experience, time, and energy in, and with, our territory.” - Jenny Mobbs, CEO of COTA ACT

Award categories:

• The LDK Seniors Achievement Award

• The Capital Chemist Seniors Achievement Award for Aged Care Services

• The ActewAGL Seniors Achievement Award for Education for Seniors

• The ACT Seniors Card Seniors Achievement Award for Outstanding Service to Seniors

• The Beyond Bank Seniors Achievement Award for Community Diversity & Inclusion

• The ACT Human Rights Commission Seniors Achievement Award for Social Justice and Advocacy

Nominations

close Sunday 5th November 2023

CONTACT: Claudia Tetreault-Percy Phone: (02) 6282 3777

Email: events@cotaact.org.au

Aboriginal detainees at the AMC is 92 per cent, also the highest rate in Australia. The increase, over the last decade, in the Aboriginal incarceration rate is also by far the highest in Australia.

The Productivity Commission also reported that the rate per 1000 Aboriginal children under a care and protection order in the ACT is 91.4 (the third highest in Australia) while that for non-indigenous children is 6.8.

In light of these dire outcomes, one would assume that the ACT government would have committed to the implementation of concrete and considered responses.

Unfortunately, that is demonstrably not the case. For example, in respect to child protection, despite having the third-highest rate of Aboriginal children in out-of-home care, the ACT has the lowest level of funding in Australia of intensive family support services.

In a similar vein despite, six years ago, having commissioned, with great fanfare the Our Booris Our Way review of child protection, the committee’s recommendations, have in the main not been implemented.

There is a raft of similar examples of promises made and abandoned, of reports commissioned and shelved and commitments rescinded.

For example, what ever happened to the detailed report prepared, in June 2017, by Legal Aid ACT on the advantages of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Experience Court Reports? When can we expect to see the government’s implementation of the report prepared by Prof Morag McArthur in respect to the prerequisites for raising the age of criminal responsibility? In addition, there are recommendations by the 100, in reports of the Inspector of Corrections and the ACT Auditor-General that have not been actioned or implemented.

In speaking with Julie Tongs about the strong support in the ACT for the Voice and for constitutional recognition of First Nations people, she said to me, wistfully, how great it would be if all those people in Canberra who got out and voted “yes” would do what they could to ensure that their government, here in the ACT, committed to keeping its promises and genuinely sought to address the needs of their Aboriginal neighbours and fellow citizens.

Jon Stanhope was ACT chief minister from 2001 to 2011.

THE GADFLY / Ambassador Rudd BRIEFLY

‘Rock solid’ Rudd goes it alone, again

AUSTRALIA’S ambassador in Washington, Kevin Rudd, says Australia must remain “rock solid” with the US in its support for Israel in the war with the militant Hamas leadership of the Moslem Palestinians in Gaza.

He was speaking last week at an American Australian Association defence dialogue and was reported at length by Farrah Tomazin in “The Sydney Morning Herald”.

Kevin was just getting started. It was also Australia’s “responsibility”, he said, to be similarly “rock solid” with America’s policy towards Ukraine and “the threat of China in the Indo-Pacific”. That pretty much covers the global hot spots. DFAT can take a well-deserved vacation.

No doubt there are some members of the Australian cabinet – and even more in Peter Dutton’s shadow cabinet – who would applaud his sentiments.

However, I suspect Foreign Minister Penny Wong was not best pleased.

Rudd’s intervention exposes the potential problem of a former prime minister as Australia’s representative in such a sensitive post.

It was Kevin Rudd, you will recall, who appointed Anthony Albanese as his deputy prime minister during Rudd’s second term in The Lodge.

That’s when he replaced Julia Gillard to “save the furniture” in 2013.

So when Kevin indicated his interest in the Washington post, it was not in Albo’s nature to decline. What he didn’t realise, I suspect, is the fierce Rudd ambition that will not be assuaged until he reaches the post of his deepest dreams: secretary general of the United Nations.

He has harboured it for many years. I first stumbled upon it in one of several very long interviews I did with him in 2007-2008 in researching and writing “Kevin Rudd: The Biography”. We were coming to the end of an extended conversation when I asked him whom he respected most among

Ambassador Rudd’s intervention exposes the potential problem of a former prime minister as Australia’s representative in such a sensitive post.

his political predecessors as Labor leaders. His answer was unequivocal: “HV Evatt,” he said.

I was stunned. “Doc” Evatt was a disaster; under his leadership the party split and gave the coalition a free electoral run for a decade. But Kevin was serious: “I think he should properly be revered in terms of his Foreign Ministry achievements,” he said.

These were, essentially, his role in framing the UN Charter in the San Francisco conference of 1945; ironically, a failed attempt to partition Palestine into Jewish and Arab States with Greater Jerusalem under international control; and his support for Indonesian independence.

“He may not have been the most attractive person to work with,” Kevin said, “but he was intellectually formidable and a person of achievement.”

Now, who does that remind you of?

It came as no surprise when Kevin headed for America after his 2013 defeat, nor when he attached himself to Hilary Clinton’s campaign for the 2016 presidential election. He knew that if he were to achieve his aim, Washington DC was the place to be, and the closer to the Oval Office the better.

Alas, Trump trumped that attempted finesse, but Kevin bided his time, casting his net across the movers and shakers that only America could provide. And then, voila! Labor returns to power and Albo has the final say in the appointment he prayed for.

Penny Wong was rightly proud of the “nuanced” policies she created in dealings with her corresponding ministers in the three areas where ambassador Rudd chose to replace them with the American position.

Oh well, it was nice while it lasted.

robert@robertmacklin.com

Burton the arts trail ambassador

AWARD-winning artist and printmaker Elizabeth Burton has been named inaugural arts trail ambassador for next month’s Southern Highlands Arts Trail.

Set for the weekends of November 4-5 and November 11-12, it gives visitors the opportunity to meet local artists and watch them work.

“The Southern Highlands Arts Trail has an outstanding reputation as one of regional NSW’s leading arts festivals. It’s a privilege to open my studio this year as official ambassador,” she says.

A printed and digital map is available at the Southern Highlands Visitor Information Centre (visitsouthernhighlands.com.au).

Event notices always welcome at: editor@citynews.com.au

“Doc” Evatt… under his leadership the Labor Party split and gave the coalition a free electoral run for a decade.

Art by Elizabeth Burton.

PUNNERY is a form of wordplay –a play on words that is witty and humorous.

Puns have been a part of human communication for centuries, serving as a linguistic tool to amuse and entertain through clever associations.

The beauty of punnery lies in its simplicity and versatility, making it an integral part of literature, humour and everyday conversation.

At its core, a pun is a play on multiple meanings of a word or a phrase that results in a humorous or unexpected twist.

The cast of the ‘70s British TV comedy “Are you Being Served?”... the lowbrow script

Puns capitalise on the multiple interpretations of words, enabling them to work on different levels and appealing to a wide audience. They often involve homophones, homonyms or similar-sounding words that can be used interchangeably, leading to a fusion of meanings that tickle the intellect.

In literature, puns have been utilised by renowned authors throughout history to add depth and flavour to their works. Shakespeare, the quintessential master of punnery, frequently employed wordplay to create memorable lines that blended humour and meaning.

For instance, in “Romeo and Juliet”, Mercutio’s famous pun – “Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man” – was foreshadowing his death.

The world of comedy, too, thrives on punnery. Stand-up comedians, cartoonists, and jokesters often pepper their performances with puns to elicit laughter and keep their audience engaged.

Puns are particularly popular in dad jokes, a genre of humour that embraces simple wordplay and cringeworthy puns to create laughs and groans. The ‘70s, lowbrow, British TV comedy “Are You Being Served?” thrived on them. Puns can also be powerful tools in advertising and branding. Brands often use puns in their taglines, product names and advertisements to make their messages more memorable and establish a unique identity in the market. Multi-storey UK department store “House of Fraser” offers “Temptation on Every Level”. However, punnery, like any art

form, demands finesse and a keen understanding of language and context.

An ill-timed or poorly executed pun can fall flat or even be perceived as offensive. A successful pun requires striking a delicate balance between creativity, relevance, and timing.

Here are a few examples (some inevitably groanworthy):

My best mate and I played a game of hide and seek.

It went on for hours… Well, good friends are hard to find.

I broke my finger last week.

On the other hand, I’m okay.

Someone stole my Microsoft Office and they’re going to pay.

They have my Word.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

She had a photographic memory, but never developed it.

Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

Don’t spell part backwards. It’s a trap.

And the Lord said unto John: “Come forth and you will receive eternal life.”

But John came fifth and missed out.

What is the best thing about living in Switzerland?

Well, the flag is a big plus.

My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve.

The past, the present and the future walk into a bar.

It was tense.

There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. Don’t worry, though – he woke up.

Sure, I drink brake fluid. But I can stop anytime.

How did I escape Iraq?

Iran.

To the mathematician who thought of the idea of zero.

Thanks for nothing!

Son: “Dad, can you tell me what a solar eclipse is?”

Dad: “No sun.”

My maths teacher called me average.

How mean!

Receptionist: “Doctor, there’s a patient on the phone who says he’s become invisible.”

Doctor: “Well, tell him I won’t see him.”

Clive Williams is a Canberra columnist.

How to fight scams

THE Weston Creek Community Centre is hosting a free, two hour seminar on digital scams and security for mobile phones and computers. Topics to be covered include basic scams and steps for protection. It’s in the main hall, 10.30am, November 4. Register attendance at 6288 1144.

Here comes Christmas!

THE Bold Bandannas are holding a stall selling Christmas fare at the Belco Fruit and Veg Markets, 8.30am-4.30pm on November 11. The Relay for Life Team will be raising funds for cancer research through sales of Christmas puddings, cakes, hampers of home-made goodies, shortbread and rum balls.

Cake, anyone?

THE St Ninian’s fete, 9am-1pm, on November 4 comes with the promise of Christmas cakes, cakes and cookies, salads and a sausage sizzle. Entertainment includes the Raio de Sol drummers and children’s activities. Corner of Mouat and Brigalow Streets.

Scale models galore

THE ACT Scale Modellers’ Society’s two-day, annual scale modelling event and exhibition will be in an expanded format at Thoroughbred Park, Lyneham ACT, on November 11 and 12. The show offers an opportunity for all the family to see hundreds of crafted scale models covering all sorts of subjects and sizes. More details at actsms.asn.au/scaleact-23

thrived on puns.

LETTERS

Ministers ignore woman injured on footpath

I WAS at the Red Hill shops when I saw two gentlemen, in hi-viz vests from a worksite, running to help a lady who had tripped and fallen on the footpath.

She had caught her foot on raised pavement blocks, flew through the air and landed directly on her face, sustaining severe facial fractures and losing three front teeth. As well there were numerous cuts and abrasions to her hands, her elbows and her knees. As a retired doctor, I also went to her aid, as did workers in the local Red Hill IGA, who provided excellent support and comfort to this distressed lady.

One of the workmen said this wasn’t the first time he’d witnessed such an incident. He had noticed other people trip and almost fall, not only the elderly but also some of his work colleagues.

Once the woman’s injuries were stabilised, I contacted colleagues at the Emergency Department of Canberra Hospital, where she was taken and admitted for two days. All her injuries have been subsequently dealt with by doctors in Sydney, at her own expense.

On the same day as the incident – June 3 – I photographed the damaged footpath, contacted Access Canberra and explained the situation. I was advised to submit a detailed report to Fix My Street, together with photographs of the damaged footpath and also the injured woman’s contact details, which I did that day.

I also subsequently contacted the office of City Services Minister Chris Steel to suggest that, given the extent of this lady’s injuries, someone from the Canberra government and/or Access Canberra, should make contact with her, to at least inquire about her health.

That was a total waste of time! I left both phone messages and emails for the minister, the phone messages have gone unheeded and there have been no replies to the emails. When, after a reasonable period of time, she had not been contacted by anyone in the relevant department or the local government, I discussed the issue with the Chief Minister on the morning ABC talkback program. He listened politely, of course, it was out of his area of expertise but he gave me the usual (meaningless) reassurances and subsequently nothing came of this discussion.

I think this was also about the time that Mr Steel, in a “blaze of publicity’’, announced that money had been set aside for repairs to the damaged, dilapidated and neglected

infrastructure around the city.

It was also at the time the government announced it had raised $43 million in just one year from the speed traps in Civic!

In August and September I was overseas. I can honestly say that in America and also many of the older cities in Portugal, I never came across footpaths as badly damaged and poorly maintained as in Australia’s nation’s capital. This should be a source of shame to us all who love the city.

This problem has not occurred overnight, it appears to be the result of long-standing neglect and it appears to me the government has one priority, and one priority only, and that is pouring money into light rail.

Of course, light rail does not (and probably never will) service the majority of Canberra residents, whereas most people in this town do use the footpaths on a regular basis and many have sustained injuries as a result of falls. Where could money be better spent?

Peter French, Red Hill

Is this the best we have to offer our youth?

ARE our youth so bored at school that they need chemical stimulants? Isn’t it possible to stimulate their interest with science, or inspire them with the amazing history of economic progress and achievements, and stand in awe of the exponential growth of our technology.

Or how about some outdoor adventures, challenge their physical capacities, let them experience the exhilaration of reaching the top of the mountain. Maybe some would like to develop their skills at sport and learn to appreciate the benefits of focused work over long periods.

The same could be achieved with playing a musical instrument or expressing ideas through an art form. All this is possible.

Are the schools in the ACT capable of providing these challenges for our youth? Will parents support their children’s growth and development? Or do we choose to sit back like Bill Bush (CN October12) suggests and watch our children become demoralised, weakened and unmotivated. Surely we can show them better alternatives than the short-term gratification of drugs. How about giving them reason to be proud of our nation and wanting to contribute to its future? Now, wouldn’t that make a nice change?

Malcolm Sherren, Stirling

Government response is ‘absurd and false’

IN last week’s “CityNews” I reflected on the fact that it is now over seven years since the ACT government undertook, through a tender process, to return Boomanulla Oval, a place of special significance to the Aboriginal community of Canberra and the region, to Aboriginal management and custodianship.

As I said, Winnunga Nimmityjah responded in good faith, and at significant expense, to that invitation only for the ACT government to abort that process without notice or explanation.

In response to a query from “CityNews” about the reasons for cancelling the proposal to return Boomanulla to Aboriginal custodianship and management the government said: “Unfortunately, at the time the

dose of dorin

request for tender did not enable a way forward to address the financial and legal risks identified through the process”. With respect, that claim is not only absurd, it is false. The fact of the matter is that Winnunga engaged one of Australia’s most highly regarded economic planners, namely SGS Economics and Planning Pty Ltd, to undertake a detailed financial and feasibility analysis of the strategic plan developed by Judd Studios for the reinvigoration of Boomanulla Oval.

In its report SGS concluded not only that the benefits exceeded the costs but that the anticipated investment was justified and required no ongoing government funding.

SGS further concluded that the preferred option identified had a net present value of $606,000 and a benefit cost ratio BCR of 1.28 and NPV of $36 million with a social discount rate of 3.5 per cent, which is appropriate for projects such as this, ie twice as high as Stage 1 of light rail and possibly three times as high as Stage 2B.

Julia Tongs, CEO, Winnunga Nimmityjah

Proud to be a Canberran

AFTER the referendum result was called (“All states vote ‘no’ to the Voice, except ACT”, citynews.com.au, October 14), the chief minister said he had “a sense of pride in this community” and that the “yes” majority

ACT vote was linked to “…the fact that Canberrans took the time to engage with the issues”.

Using social media, most of our federal Labor representatives only very briefly acknowledged this powerful vote by so many Canberrans who inquired and agreed to the need for constitutional change.

Via a local ABC interview transcript on his website, Fenner MP Andrew Leigh recognised that “…there is a lot of goodwill, particularly here in Canberra where more than 60 per cent of Canberrans voted yes.”

Senator Pocock’s thoughtful and balanced October 15 statement went further, including recognition and valuing of the ACT vote in a constructive way: “We must take the resounding yes the ACT delivered overnight with the utmost seriousness and do something with it… We have to find a path forward. It can’t wait another generation. The work must continue.”

Those who were proud to be Canberrans on the evening of October 14 will be watching both main parties closely for meaningful and impactful responses between now and the next federal election.

Sue Dyer, Downer

Indigenous population set to ‘boom’

IT is very likely that by 2081 many of the opponents and supporters of the Voice, both Aboriginal and non-Aboriginal, will have descendants who will identify as “indigenous”. Partly by descent but mainly by “race shifting”, Australia’s indigenous population has increased from 84,000 in 1961 to 812,728 in 2021, an increase of 9.7 times in 60 years. Based on this record, Australia’s indigenous population will be at least 7,883,462 people, by 2081. (See “To be or not to be Indigenous? Understanding the rise of Australia’s indigenous population since 1971” Elizabeth Watt & Emma Kowal, 2018). In addition, during the past 20 years there has been a growth of an almost religious feeling of wishing to identify with one’s Aboriginal Australian ancestry for many people. There are political problems in an Australian government defining who is “Aboriginal”, similar to the government defining who is “Christian”.

The Census relies on self-identification. The indigenous population of Australia may therefore be much higher than 7,883,462 in 2081.

Dr Paul Kauffman, O’Connor

Clews

Raised pavement blocks at the Red Hill shops. Photo: Peter French

kitty

Goodbye to kitty freeloaders

An Aussie-inspired app lets people pre-pay before a group event, hens’ night or holiday so there’s no need to waste time chasing up freeloading mates, reports MARION RAE .

MANY Australians are owed money by their mates after a night out, but a new app could split expenses rather than friendship groups.

Despite billions of dollars being transferred between family and friends every year, a Finder survey found Australia was “a nation of freeloaders” with one-in-four Aussies owed money.

As cost-of-living pressures mount, money disputes can tip relationships over the edge.

A Sydney-based tech start-up has come up with KttiPay – an app that can be used on Android and Apple smartphones and tablets.

“The old system of paying money into a shared kitty worked well for our parents and grandparents, and now we’re making it work for us,” CEO and founder Iain Salteri said on Thursday.

Targeting Gen Z and Millennials, he says group spending

Iain Salteri says paying money into a shared kitty worked well for previous generations.

happens daily but current tech solutions don’t quite meet their bill-splitting needs.

Officially launching in October, the app allows separate “Ktties” to be created for different purposes.

KttiPay then issues directly linked Visa debit cards.

Friends and family can pre-pay directly into the app before an event, dinner, hens’ night, holiday

or for a group gift and avoid awkward or time-consuming settling-up afterwards.

“In a time of increased complexity it’s nice to be able to go back to tried-and-trusted ways of managing money,” Mr Salteri said.

“KttiPay has been created for modern Aussie users to ensure that they never have to settle up again.”

Cool ways to enjoy the long, hot summer

WITH the Bureau of Meteorology predicting aboveaverage daytime temperatures across most of the country this summer, it’s never been a better time to ensure the home is ready to beat the heat. To help Canberrans get through these warmer days (and nights), “CityNews” speaks to businesses who are dedicated to keeping their customers cool.

Pool team in the swim to become the best Father and son

POOLSMART True Blue has grown from a small business of two staff members and one service vehicle to six of each in a span of 12 months, says owner Oliver Ross.

“We continue to provide mobile pool and spa services to the Canberra, Queanbeyan, Jerrabomberra and Sutton areas,” he says.

“We strive to become the biggest and best pool and spa maintenance company in the ACT, and we strive to outperform our competition in all areas, especially customer service, quality of work and advice.”

“With expert supervision and advanced technology, we ensure sparkling clean pools and spas,” and just in time for summer.

“Our team balances water elements, eliminates bacteria, removes organic mat ter, and provides a refreshing swimming experience.

“We offer pool maintenance, pool heating, pool renovations, robotic pool cleaners, spa maintenance and equip ment, naked pool freshwater systems, Hydraspa products, and pool fencing or landscaping.”

Poolsmart True Blue, 10 Haugh Place, Oxley. Call 0421 101 842, or visit poolsmarttrueblue.net

ABOUT Windows began in 2000, but owner Andrew Snowdon ran another business in the same field from 1992, he says.

“We supply and install coatings known as window film on to glass to transform its appearance and properties,” he says.

“We are a father-andson team who run a home office to keep costs down, and who have been working together for about 15 years.

“Window film has the ability to reject up to 80 per cent of solar heat without interrupting the view.”

Andrew says external blinds block the view while in operation, and dark internal blinds actively heat the air in the room.

“Rooms that get late afternoon summer sun can be treated with True Vue 15,” he says.

“This is good news for hot rooms and offices, another popular film with 70 per cent total solar energy rejected is called Slate 20.

“We always aim to do work to a standard

that would make your mother happy, whether it is your mother’s house, a commercial office or somebody’s garage.

“We love getting comments from clients, some tell us we’re always a pleasure to work with, they are delighted with results and how much relief the window film provides.”

About Windows. Call 6236 9609, or visit aboutwindows.com.au

BEAT THE HEAT

to enjoy the outdoors in summer.

“Our products not only keep you cool in summer but protect your home from harsh heat and therefore save on cooling costs,” she says.

Established in Canberra about 20 years ago, Jenny says National Patios is a one-stop-shop for design, council approvals (if needed), right through to the build.

“We design and build anything from a small patio or deck to large home extensions, rooms and entertainment areas,” she says.

“During the build, you are looked after by the owner of the business, not a manager.

“He cares and is passionate about people, and attention to detail. and concepts into a reality.

“We also have a 23 per cent discount until Saturday, December 23.”

As National Patios is local and well established, Jenny says it’s a long-term member of the Housing Industry Association and Masters Builders Association.

“We can cater to all levels of budgets due to our extensive product range,” she says.

“[And] we have a beautiful showroom in Fyshwick, where folks can come and relax, and have a hands-on experience with product options.”

National Patios, Unit 1/289 Canberra Avenue, Fyshwick. Call 6147 0844 or 62573952, or visit nationalpatios.com.au

Helping to bring the pool dream to life

ALEXANDRA and Andrew Malcolm started Urban Plumbing Solutions in Batemans Bay 20 years ago, says Alexandra.

“For the past five years we have been involved in providing swimming pool plumbing services,” she says.

“Being swimming-pool builders, there is no better way to beat the heat than to be able to dive into your own backyard pool.

“We are family owned and operated, and the products that we supply are the latest trends in swimming pools.”

TELSTRA BEST OF BUSINESS AWARDS

The cream of Canberra’s ‘best-of-business’ crop

TELSTRA has unveiled 28 ACT finalists of the 2024 Telstra Best of Business Awards, part of a national awards program that celebrates and recognises small and medium-sized businesses moving Australia forward.

Telstra group executive Amanda Hutton said Telstra’s 30+ year legacy of awards programs has supported small businesses and celebrated their achievements, while giving them the opportunity to learn from Australia’s best business minds.

“It’s an absolute honour to uncover and celebrate the small and medium-sized businesses that are supporting the Australian economy,” she said.

“The overwhelming number of nominations is a testament to the strength and determination of Australia’s small business community, and the huge impact that these businesses are having in their communities across the country,” she says.

ACT winners of the 2024 Telstra Best of Business Awards will be announced on November 3. Territory winners will be invited to Sydney for national judging on February 7, with national winners announced on February 8.

Selected from more than 22,000 nominations of businesses nationwide, “CityNews” spoke with some of the ACT 2024 Telstra Best of Business Award finalists.

First-time finalist puts best foot forward

RICKY Lee, director and principal podiatrist of The Walking Clinic, says he is excited and honoured to be nominated as a first-time finalist in the Telstra Business Awards for Outstanding Growth.

“The Walking Clinic was founded in 1978 by Richard Lee, my father,” he says.

“We were the first podiatry clinic in the region, growing into a network of five clinics across the bush capital.”

He says a sixth clinic will open on November 1 in Garran.

At The Walking Clinic, employees are treated like family.

“The Walking Clinic’s family-oriented culture sets us apart from larger, corporate run competitors,” says Ricky.

“This creates a strong sense of unity, collaboration and camaraderie within the team.

“Every patient is given personalised attention and quality customer care. We understand that everyone’s needs and conditions are unique, requiring a bespoke approach to treatment.

“Listening, guiding and empathising with our patient’s needs and concerns delivers a treatment journey focused on results, and improving the lives of those we engage with.”

Ricky says his aim is to deliver optimum foot health for all patients.

“Allowing them to either get back on their feet as soon as possible or maintain their health, allowing all to complete the things that they love to do,” he says.

“We want to help our clientele become pain-free, and put smiles back on their faces.”

The Walking Clinic. Lyneham, 6249 1758. Belconnen, 6251 5149. Kingston, 6201 1788. Woden, 6282 5466. Kippax, 6133 9654. Visit walkingclinic.com.au

Making

a ‘creative difference’ to people’s lives

JULIA Landford says she is delighted her business, NatureArt Lab, is a finalist in two categories.

“We’re finalists in Championing Health and Building Communities in this prestigious award,” she says.

“NatureArt Lab is a unique, purpose-led arts and environmental education business that, over the past seven years, has made a significant difference to many people’s lives.

“We are contributing to environmental sustainability, building communities and championing health through our connections with nature and creativity.”

Julia says, as a “nature lover, artist and environmentalist”, she established NatureArt Lab in 2017.

“We now have a talented team of around 30 artists teaching a range of high-quality art and photography courses, all inspired by nature,” she says.

“We also have a dedicated support team for our students and tutors, and experienced graphic designers who

create our publications, calendars and greeting cards.”

She says as well as NatureArt Lab’s art and photography classes, they also offer “life-changing and educational” nature tours.

“We take people to some of the richest biodiversity hotspots in the world, in Australia, Borneo, Costa Rica, the Galapagos, Ecuador and Peru,” she says.

NatureArt Lab, 21 Blaxland Crescent, Griffith. Call 0414 342839, or visit natureartlab.com.au

Tutor Valerie Kirk with Vivienne Howe at the NatureArt Lab Canberra studio.

The Walking Clinic director and principal podiatrist, Ricky Lee.

2024 TELSTRA BEST OF BUSINESS AWARDS

can often find ourselves having a clash of values,” she says.

Co-founder Carla Ewin says: “Artemis helps business leaders to grow, adjust, redesign, reshape, reconsider and realign their organisations.”

“We understand the key to successful change is recognising and embracing the complex dynamics between all impacted parties – sponsors, partners and consumers or customers – to find a lasting solution.

“We have a really strong focus on our clients, and really tailor our services to them with our expert senior leadership team.”

A common thread across their work is a focus on

different capacities beyond our immediate reach.”

Carla says it took a long time to find a business name that encapsulated what they were hoping to achieve.

“It had the strength and the power in the name, Artemis is the Greek goddess of the hunt,” says Carla.

“We chose her because she’s all about providing for not only herself, but her family and her community.

“We also have a strong pro-bono strategy as well, we have a social impact strategy where we focus on strategically supporting Toora Women, who provide invaluable support to women in crisis in the ACT.”

Artemis Partners. Visit artemispartners.com.au

Removing stigma and shame around food

KATE Freeman, founder of The Healthy Eating Clinic, says she and her team are honoured to be recognised as finalists in the Building Com munities and Championing Health categories.

“We practice health-first nutrition and take a weight-neutral approach with our clients,” she says.

“A weight-neutral approach means that we focus on habits, behaviours and routines that promote long-term health for people of all body sizes that do not have the goal of weight loss.

“This takes a huge amount of pressure off clients as well as removes the shame, stigma and judgement that many people feel around food.”

Kate, a registered nutritionist, established the clinic in 2011.

“For some of us, we consume a meal without a second thought. For others, it fills them with stress, anxiety and discomfort.

“We exist to set people free from this stress and teach them how to eat well for the rest of their life.

“When we hear from our clients and how their relationship with food and their body has improved since working with us, it spurs us on.

“We’re a highly specialised team, rather than being generalists, our dietetic team is made up of experts in various areas of nutrition making us excellent at providing the best possible advice and care.”

The Healthy Eating Clinic, Level 3, 50 Launceston Street, Phillip. Call 6174 4663, or visit healthyeatingclinic.com.au

Co-founders and partners, from left, Renee Dockrill, Carla Ewin, Helena Cain and Mary Souter.

The Healthy Eating Clinic founder Kate Freeman.

“It’s a really good feeling to know we’re doing so well,” she says.

“We offer dog training, dog grooming and dog daycare.

“Pups4Fun was established in 2008, so we celebrated our 15th birthday in January, and I’ve been working here for nine years.”

She says what’s special about Pups4Fun is that they are all about building a strong community and support for dogs in the region.

“We have enough dogs, we just need more people now,” she says.

required, we are just looking for people who are passionate about dogs and open to learning.

“It’s an incredible job too, easy to keep fit while having an outdoors lifestyle, with the benefit of taking dogs on adventures.

“Our big focus is on training. At the ACT Training Awards 2023 we won ACT Small Employer of the Year.

“We look at continual learning and development, and we can cross-train across the industry, and we have opportunities for apprenticeships and traineeships.”

Pups4Fun, 5/8-18 Fisher Square, Fisher. Call 6287 3955, or visit pups4fun.com.au

We’re Canberra's premium nutrition and dietetics clinic assionate about helping clients achieve their health goals with ndividualised nutrition advice, guidance, and support.

Gut Health

Diabetes

Fussy toddlers & kids

Women’s health

Cholesterol & blood pressure

Allergies & intolerances

Eating disorders

So much more!

2024 TELSTRA BEST OF BUSINESS AWARDS

BRONWEN Stead, business manager for Ascent Rehabilitation, says the business’s dedication to cham pioning health outcomes for Australians is evident in its purpose-driven approach and comprehensive range of services.

“Ascent Rehabilitation’s expertise lies in providing a comprehensive range of occupational rehabilitation services, including personalised ergonomics assessments, dedicated pain management support, hazard and risk identification, counselling services, mental health and resilience training, and vocational services,” she says.

“The company’s focus on individualised care, community connection and commitment to excellence is instrumental in improving the well-being of our clients.

“By supporting those impacted by a workplace injury we empower individuals to navigate the workers compensation and the health system, to access the right supports at the right time, to be provided with the knowledge on how to best approach a return to work.”

Bronwen says what sets Ascent apart is the skill of staff, clinical expertise, care for all people, the ability to creatively problem solve, professionalism and its resilience and positive outlook no matter how complex the situation is.

“While we would wish that no individual or employer needs our services, we recognise that despite the best health and safety practices, people can still injure themselves through no one’s fault,” she says.

“Workers who are happy at work, who feel productive, respected and included, will often be very eager to remain at work throughout their recovery.”

Ascent Rehabilitation. Call 6156 4109, or visit ascentrehab.com.au

Championing health when

developed new and improved ways of doing things and included more allied health services,” she says.

“So, the team is incredibly proud to be finalists in the Building Communities and the Championing Health categories.

“WaterWombats is passionate about community, inclusion and supporting kids that have additional needs to achieve their goals. Being a finalist recognises this.”

Carol says WaterWombats is unique in that it provides an individual, tailored program for each

futures for our children, providing specialist support needed for everyone to access the pool, beach and other waterways safely, and achieving their goals of learning to swim.

“The drowning statistics for children living with a disability under the age of 14 are extremely worrying – we are doing our part to reduce those statistics.”

WaterWombats. Call 0413 139018, or visit waterwombats.com

•

Ascent Rehabilitation business manager Bronwen Stead.

Some of the WaterWombats team, from left, Savitha Aiyer, Liam Barber, Dianne Walton, Carol Jennings and Lily Delbridge.

Many organisations suffer low staff morale and customer satisfaction, Lakshmi says, caused by daily exposure to irritating, cumbersome processes and repetitive data entry.

“Systems that don’t talk to each other, processes that don’t work, interfaces that don’t make sense and Lakshmi says through human-centred process improvement and the innovative use of technology, DDP designs and builds tailored solutions for a wide range of clients.”

Digital Design Partners. Visit ddpco.com.au

PARTNERING TO CREATE GREAT SERVICE EXPERIENCES

With over 30 years of experience designing and delivering business and digital transformation, we partner with clients to share our insights, design holistic solutions and successfully implement rapid, sustainable service transformation.

Canberra based and servicing ACT and surrounds with:

• Human Centred Design

• LEAN process improvement

• Cultural change & values alignment

• Productivity tools for hybrid working

• Deep consultation and change management

• Digital solutions

DDP lead partners, from left, Amanda Snashall, Lakshmi West and Will Henderson.

Watsonias come with a lot of pluses GARDENING

WATSONIA is a terrific long-lived, old-fashioned, herbaceous garden plant that grows easily in our

In particular, the Watsonia borbonica is a long-lived, upright, herbaceous plant that emerges in spring ready for flowering.

It’s from the South African iris family and its reed-like foliage can be used as a background plant that puts on a magnificent display of tall, fragrant flowers that slowly open and last for several months. They’re available in many colours – pink, apricots, reds and lilacs – but my favourite is white, which gives a bright contrast in the garden.

and transplanted directly into a well-prepared garden bed.

Watsonias are tough and don’t need a lot of water; they’re drought tolerant when established and, as a bonus, they attract birds and insects.

However, there’s one weed species – Watsonia meriana – that should be removed from the garden. It has orange to reddishpurple flowers and grows more singularly but multiplies fast and, in no time, can be a nuisance.

Manually pulling up the whole plant and corms before flowering will help in eradicating this pest plant, which is now on the weeds of national significance list and is affecting natural bushlands around Australia.

Tulip trees are a medium-to-large Given the room, they are a majestic tree to have in a park or large garden but not for small gardens.

Of the Magnolia family, they share the same spectacular flowering and like the same growing conditions – full sun and a slightly acidic soil. Its leaves have an unusual four-lobed shape.

In late spring, the trees burst into attractive green to orange flowers, which produce nectar and attract bees, birds and butterflies. They are drought tolerant when established and like our cold winters. There are some really beautiful

Jottings…

• Sow seeds of tomatoes, silverbeet, beans and cabbage.

• Hand pick any curly leaves on peaches and nectarines and put in the bin.

• Remove weeds such as vetch and sticky weed before it sets seed.

Commonwealth Park. There are dwarf varieties – up to 10 metres tall – available overseas that would suit our suburban backyard and would make a terrific shade tree.

Coming into summer, all trees will still need watering (even after rain) to keep the moisture levels up in the soil for the warmer months ahead.

Watering trees around the drip line with deep water weekly or fortnightly, is more beneficial than short watering several times a week.

jackwar@home.netspeed. com.au

The tulip tree… given the room, they’re a majestic tree to have in a park or large garden.

Photo: Jackie Warburton

Watsonia borbonica is an upright, herbaceous plant that emerges in spring ready for flowering. Photo: Jackie Warburton

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT INSIDE

Ukulele man brings George back for new festival

By Helen MUSA

MULTI-talented performing artist, Marcel Cole likes to think of himself as a “crossline Canberran”.

Crossline, that is, between Canberra and the rest of the world, and between singing, acting and dancing.

Cole recently won two awards for his show “The Ukulele Man”, directed by Mirjana Ristevski, at the Sydney Fringe Festival, but he’ll be home again soon in a new showcase of local cabaret talent put together by Louiza Blomfield and Dave Collins, at ACT Hub Kingston, The Canberra Cabaret Festival, November 16-18.

Cole, who after his year 12 studies at Dickson College won a coveted place at the NZ School of Dance in Wellington, was initially best known in Canberra as an elite dancer, but while at college, he got into drama and acting and took part in a year 12 production of “Orlando” that blew his mind. As well, he appeared in

Judith Clingan’s productions, such as “The Lorax.”

He did head for NZ, but after two years of studying purely ballet, called a halt and decided not to progress to third year.

“I knew it was not where I wanted to be, and I have branched out since then,” he says. “I have at the bottom of my emails the word ‘dancersinger-actor’ and I’m playing around with the word order, but at the moment ‘dance’ is at the bottom.”

He’s always been very interested

in comedy, too, so earlier in the year took himself to the London International Mime Festival and Ecole Philippe Gaulier, where he studied the “bouffon” style of the famous French clown.

Back home, he has a few irons in the fire, but is already thinking about a new show, “something physical,” maybe with clowns, or Charlie Chaplin, whom he loves, or even the legendary ballet dancer Vaslav Nijinsky.

The cabaret show that we’ll

see here is his prize-winning “The Ukelele Man”, which looks at the life of legendary English ukulele star George Formby, one of Britain’s most popular entertainers during the 1930s and 40s, a man who entertained more than three million people during World War II. He’d first come across him when his uncle gave him as a birthday present the DVD of “No Limit”, a 1935 black-and-white movie, starring George Formby and Florence Desmond, based around the TT

motorcycle races on the Isle of Man, a subject dear to his heart.

“We had a lot of fun watching a great comic who played the ukulele and then we forgot about it,” he says.

Four months later, Cole wanted to do a local cabaret show in Canberra, decided to try a World War I song on the ukulele and experienced a lightbulb moment.

“I liked the ukulele because I could put it into my act. It’s like a guitar but rather smaller,” he says.

He found that Formby, who also played the “Banjolele”, was a virtuoso exponent of the instrument known for his right-hand fast strumming – “250 BPM plus”. He’d died in 1961, but there were plenty of videos left for Cole to watch.

Then he enrolled in a two-week workshop hosted by cabaret star Queenie Van Zandt at Tuggeranong Arts Centre, which culminated in a “pitch” by students on their own show.

He came up with the idea of a show based on the story of his life in which he would play “a kind of Marcel/Formby hybridster”.

Cole describes it as a very solitary exercise, as he didn’t know if the story would interest other people, but in hindsight he realises it’s incredibly marketable, especially

in the UK where Formby still has a massive following.

“Also, I found there was a special element that was hard to pin down, to do with his stage persona Andy, the happy-go-lucky handyman, a singing clown, an everyman, but light-hearted and fun,” he says.

The persona was of a poor man, but in fact Formby had millions in his bank account, little of which his stingy wife would allow him to access. That’s in the story.

His mother, the musician Katie Cole, came in on “The Ukulele Man” quite late, when he was doing one of his regular Thursday shows at Smiths Alternative.

“Mum came along and played the bass ukulele. It really worked as an accompaniment and it added so much. It gave me the opportunity for to sing unaccompanied, which meant I could stay as George for the whole show – she could play his wife and a couple of other characters, so it freed me up.”

And will he be keeping mum in the show?

Almost certainly, yes.

Canberra Cabaret Festival, ACT Hub, Kingston, November 16-18. “The Ukelele Man”, November 17.

Marcel Cole as George Formby in his award-winning cabaret show “The Ukulele Man”.

•

PLUMBING

THEATRE ‘Magic’ comes with real meaning

By Helen Musa

“BUT this rough magic I here abjure… and deeper than did ever plummet sound I’ll drown my book,” exiled magician Prospero says at the end of Shakespeare’s “The Tempest”.

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Want to

The words provide the title for Helen Machalias’ play about the refugee experience “This Rough Magic”, aptly renamed from its previous title, “Barren Ground”, under which it was developed at The Street Theatre in 2020.

Prospero’s words are a rejection of magic and power, but that’s not exactly what happens in Machalias’ magical remote island – Christmas Island – as I find when I catch up with Beng Oh, the director of the premiere production coming to The Street shortly.

his daughter Miranda and fellow passenger Ariel, assisted by Caliban and other Christmas Islander locals, to be played by a tight cast of Reza Momenzada, George Kanaan, Lainie Hart, Kaitlin Nihill and Andre Le.

Oh explains how this “heartfelt work” takes Shakespeare and the asylum-seeker experience in Australia and “mashes them together to make something new”.

The inspiration came to Machalias from shocking events of December 2010 with the shipwreck of “Siev 221”, a suspected illegal entry vessel, at Flying Fish Cove off Christmas Island where 48 asylum seekers, mostly from Iraq and Iran, perished and 42 made it to shore.

Starting from there, “Rough

Oh, a graduate of the Victorian College of the Arts, is well-known in Melbourne for working with diverse casts, and no stranger to “mashed up” drama, having also staged a modern take on Marlowe’s “Dr Faustus” with university students in Ballarat.

He’s happy to work on Machalias’ “text-rich” play, relishing the poetry and the way she has worked in words by legendary Persian writers Ferdowsi, Hafez, and Attar in a respectful nod to the many Iranians aboard “Siev 221”.

“Helen’s text is marvellously im -

know what’s going to happen next. It’s set on Christmas Island, which is a long way away, but she brings it very close to you and makes the story into an Australian story.”

Emphasising that it has been a collaborative exercise, Oh stresses the role of designer Imogen Keen Have plays “evoking place”, also collaborating in equal measure with Tehran-born filmmaker, Granaz Moussavi and ANU’s Rebecca Clode as dramaturg, lighting designer Gerry Corcoran and sound designer Kyle Sheedy.

“In the play there is one marvellous event after the other,” Oh says.

Among those events are the catastrophic shipwreck, with Christmas Islanders trying to help people by throwing lifejackets,

ARTS IN THE CITY FILM

Superstar Peruvian tenor to play Canberra

By Helen Musa

SUPERSTAR Peruvian tenor Juan

Diego Flórez is coming to Australia – and Canberra – for the first time. He has won Peru’s highest honour, the Gran Cruz de la Orden El Sol, for having founded Sinfonía por el Perú, an inclusive social project that operates orchestras and choirs throughout Peru to help the most vulnerable children and adolescents. Flórez will perform at Llewellyn Hall on November 7.

THE fourteenth annual “Come Alive” Festival of Museum Theatre, the brainchild of drama teacher and critic Peter Wilkins, will be produced by Lexi Sekuless Productions and hosted by the National Library and the National Portrait Gallery. Students from secondary schools and colleges visit a museum and select a character, an object or an event that inspires them to research, devise and perform a performance piece inspired by the museum. Mill Theatre, Fyshwick, 3.30pm and 6pm October 30-November 3.

THE Orava Quartet and Polish pianist Aleksandra Świgut will perform a program of Chopin, Penderecki and Kilar, which commemorates the tour in Australia of Polish pianist and statesman Ignacy Jan Paderewski in 1904. National Gallery of Australia, November 9.

THE final CSO Chamber Ensemble matinee for the year will be a celebration of woodwinds, featuring the CSO’s principal woodwind players. Albert Hall, October 29.

WORLD War I soldier-settler, farmer and playwright, Millicent Armstrong’s four-act drama, “Fire”, will be given a public first reading at Gunning Court House on October 29 under the umbrella of the Gunning Arts Festival. Published in a serialised version on the front page of “The Daily Telegraph” in 1923, it has never been performed.

SINGER-songwriter Damien Leith will perform “Roy Orbison Orchestrated” at Canberra Theatre, November 3.

GUITAR Trek members Matt Withers and Callum Henshaw will showcase new Australian music for guitar, including works by composers Ross Edwards, Richard Charlton, Nat Bartsch, Sally Greenaway and Elena Kats-Chernin at Wesley Music Centre, November 4.

MUSICA da Camera’s final concert this year will be “An Afternoon of Baroque”, directed by John Ma, whose concerts are known for innovative and sometimes wild playing. “We guarantee you won’t drift off to sleep,” he says. Holy Covenant Church, Cook, November 4 and Gunning Shire Hall November 5.

the death of a refugee, Prospero’s defection to the other side become a senior administrator responsible for the management of the detention centre, then the closure of the island, with the refugees moving to Villawood.

“But this is most definitely not documentary or verbatim theatre,” Oh says. “This is a work of the imagination and Helen has challenged us.”

He concedes that there is a political layer with verbatim transcripts in the play, including politicians’ voices and media reports, but it’s not done in a heavy way.

“I would say the play uses ‘The Tempest’ as a lens through which we look at events, but Helen does it playfully,” he says.

“I’ve done a lot of work in comedy. I believe that comedy is the best way to deal with big issues, so the characters of Prospero, Miranda and Ariel are a delightful combination – Prospero, the opportunist, and Ariel, both want to get to Australia and will do anything to make it happen, but their story is wrapped around Miranda, a young woman coming into adulthood.”

The play, he believes, is a collective experiment in the “postcovid era of theatre,” but it will be exciting: “I have a low boredom threshold, and I promise you it will not be a boring event.”

“This Rough Magic”, The Street Theatre, November 11-19.

By Cormac Pearson in London

VETERAN British actor Sir Michael Caine has confirmed he has retired from acting after the release of his latest film.

“I keep saying I’m going to retire. Well, I am now,” the 90-year-old told the BBC.

“I’ve figured, I’ve had a picture where I’ve played the lead and had incredible reviews… What am I going to do that will beat this?”

The Oscar, Golden Globe and Bafta-winning actor has an extensive filmography, including classic films ranging from “Zulu” and “The Italian Job” to more recently in “Interstellar” and “The Dark Knight” franchise, alongside Christian Bale.

He has appeared in more than 160 films over a career that has spanned seven decades.

In his final film, “The Great Escaper”, which was released in the UK in early October, he plays real-life World War II veteran Bernie Jordan who escaped from a care home to attend D-Day celebrations in France.

“The only parts I’m liable to get now are 90-year-old men. Or maybe 85,” he told BBC Radio 4’s “Today” program. “They’re not going to be the lead. You don’t have leading men at 90, you’re going to have young, handsome boys and girls. So I thought, I might as well leave with all this.”

Sir Michael said he had turned the film down three times as he considered himself retired.

He stars alongside Glenda Jackson, who died in June after the completion of the film.

His announcement comes a month before Sir Michael’s novel “Deadly Game” is scheduled for release.

The novel follows the adventures of DCI Harry Taylor, a detective with no respect for red tape or political reputations.

STREAMING

Netflix kicks a streaming goal with ‘Beckham’

NETFLIX has well and truly kicked itself a goal this month.

The streaming giant’s new doco series “Beckham”, which promises an intimate look at the private life of the international soccer star and his wife Victoria, has raced to the top of the streaming charts.

In its first week alone the four-part series has attracted more than 12 million viewers and at time of writing remains at the number 1 spot of Netflix’s most watched shows.

That’s not to mention the fact that it’s also netted the famous midfielder more than half a million new social media fans to boot.

So why has this new series generated so much hype?

Netflix is no stranger to offering viewers a look at celebs behind closed doors. From Beyoncé to Britney Spears to the fiasco that was “Harry and Meghan”, the formula has proven a surefire winner whether viewers love it or, as we saw with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, hate it.

But “Beckham” has been able to capitalise on two types of viewers.

For those who can’t resist a close-up look at the lives of celebrities this one ticks all the boxes, but the doco also cleverly doubles up as a treat for sport fans.

It charts Beckham’s rapid rise through the ranks of Manchester United and how he went on to become one of the greatest players of all time, while also offering a look behind the curtain at one of the most

famous couples on Earth and the toll that fame has on a relationship.

There’s also a refreshing amount of comedy here.

To call the “Harry and Meghan” doco humourless would be an understatement, but peppered throughout “Beckham” are moments of light heartedness that keep it well afloat.

In one particularly amusing scene, Victoria attempts to lament her “workingclass upbringing” to camera, only to have David poke his head in from the adjacent room telling her “Be honest. What car did your dad drive you to school in?”

The answer is a Rolls-Royce.

“Beckham” may be trashy TV but it certainly looks good while doing it.

No red cards from me.

IT’S not the only doco generating talk this month. Another new series now streaming on Netflix has shone a spotlight on the health crisis of the modern age.

“Big Vape: The Rise and Fall of Juul” attempts to explain how a whole new generation got addicted to smoking, diving deep into the phenomenon of vaping and where it came from.

It turns out these devices were the brainchild of two ambitious design students at Stanford University who wanted to create a cigarette that “wouldn’t be bad for you”. Next thing they knew, they’d unleashed an epidemic of teen smoking.

In an era where barely a day goes by without headlines bombarding us with the dangers of these devices, “Big Vape” provides an informative look at the phenomenon and a cautionary tale of the power of big tech.

IT’S certainly the month for documentaries, with another on Amazon Prime Video offering viewers an inside look at one of Australia’s most iconic bands.

They’ve sold more than 30 million albums, taken out the number 1 song in the Triple J Hottest 100 and have been labelled Australia’s top-earning entertainers four

years in a row.

INXS? Silverchair? AC/DC?

All would be sound guesses, but actually, it’s The Wiggles.

The popularity of the colourful skivvywearing quartet is more astonishing in scale than many realise. “Hot Potato: The Story of the Wiggles” charts the band’s humble beginnings as “The Cockroaches” through to their international stardom, which has earned them the amusing title “The Beatles for toddlers”.

That’s not just the case here in their home country but also overseas, where they sell tens of thousands of tickets to shows in America, the UK and Asia.

Make no mistake, while the show may be about “The Wiggles” it’s certainly much more likely to appeal to adults than kids. I found myself surprisingly compelled by the doco’s aim to pinpoint precisely why the band has been able to appeal to so many children from so many countries for so many years.

From soccer stars to smoking teens to big red cars. All in a day’s work.

David Beckham… “Beckham” is an intimate look at the private life of the international soccer star and his wife Victoria.

DINING / Leyla Bar, Burbury Hotel

New kitchen sets up Spanish sunsets on the roof

IN its brand spanking new kitchen, Leyla Bar is dishing up food focusing on a Spanish theme.

Order small morsels or dishes hearty enough to share, with the emphasis on intriguing flavours that marry well with champagne, Leyla’s stylish cocktails, beer or wine.

The venue is worthy of this major change in menu, enjoyed with the spectacular views of this rooftop bar at Burbury Hotel. Grab your translation dictionary and explore the delicious bites on offer.

The aperitivos section of the menu features appetisers such as Spanish mixed green olives ($10) and Spanish salami ($21). Also white anchovies marinated in olive oil ($8).

We had heard from a friend who had recently been to Leyla that the patatas fritas were excellent ($12). A mound arrived with two sauces, an aioli and a hot picon. They were cold, but staff quickly whisked them away and returned with piping hot fries.

From the tapas section we selected potato rosti ($9 each) with diced fresh tuna and three ($27).

Empanadas are always a Spanish fave and the combination of chicken, mushroom and corn soul satisfying ($11 each).

Three types of pincho (skewers) are on offer – chicken, lamb and flathead. Our lamb ($14) was a sexy mojo verde (Spanish green sauce) that was punchy, tangy and a

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celebration of fresh herbs.

While we didn’t indulge in the (desserts), both looked inviting – churros and hot chocolate sauce ($14) and a crema catalana ($15).

with more than staff – we moved to seating in the main part of the bar. Order by phone or at the bar. Although

we weren’t keen on lining up at the bar, we had questions on the menu and the person serving us said he didn’t know much about the food.

The line-up was eight-deep, but we eventually got there, and our questions were answered with confidence. The wait for cocktails was a minimum 20 minutes so we went wine and champagne.

Staff whip up seven special cocktails, but happily also prepare classics or alternatives.

The wine list is compact but considered. Bubbles range from $60 to $690/bottle, whites $68 to $140, rosés $57 to $77, and reds $68 to $440 (Grant Burge Meshach Shiraz

It’s nice to see some local beers on the menu, a zero-alcohol Heaps Normal and a lovely-sounding apple cider and ginger beer.

It was a Wednesday night and the menu had recently been launched. We arrived at fiveish and wished we had booked (Leyla attracts the after-work crowd, and the place was pumping).

WINE

How low can you bear to go?

AT lunch at the Tathra Hotel a friend said she had given up drinking wine, other than the occasional glass of nonalcoholic or low-alcohol wine.

Giving up the drink had, she said, greatly improved her health; she felt less tired, more energised. I asked her whether the reduced-alcohol wine tasted okay.

Her reply was that low-alcohol prosecco tasted a lot like regular prosecco. Ahh, I said: “Sweet and full of bubbles.”

From the get-go with this wine variety, my taste says that the complexity and natural interest is absent in the original so the modified version is even less appealing.

There was also a De Bortoli wine that was spoken of: Fizzero, a non-alcoholic drink combining sparkling fermented grape juice blended with green tea. Yeah, but no.

With most wines, a challenge with the process of removing alcohol from wine is the loss of much of its essence: the flavour, aroma, balance and mouthfeel. This is because the alcohol tends to carry a lot of the flavour.

But despite that issue, the popularity of low or noalcohol wine is set to grow. Its growth will come from the increasing number of people who are teetotallers, especially the young, and not just because of the health concerns of old farts like most of my friends.

Young people are increasingly turning away from alcohol. In this context I found a study by UK charity Drinkaware, which revealed a trend among the UK’s Generation Z (individuals born between the mid-1990s and the mid-2010s.): one in five young adults, or 21 per cent , are now teetotal, a 7 per cent increase since 2017.

In this country, the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare 2019 National Drug Strategy Household Survey showed 0.9 per cent of 15 to 24-year-olds drank daily (the lowest of any age group), 21.4 per cent drank weekly (also the lowest of any age group) and 18.8 per cent drank less than monthly (the highest of any age group).

So, the next step down this path of exploration was to see if there was a low-alcohol wine that suited my tastes.

I tried the Brown Brothers Cienna Zero, a light red wine that is best served chilled, made with circa 0.5 per cent alcohol.

Cienna is a wine unique to Brown Brothers; a varietal that has been culti -

vated from the Spanish grape Sumoll, and the red wine grape cabernet sauvignon.

It was awarded the Gold Medal in the alternative drinks category at the recent 2023 International Wine & Spirits competition. I tried it with my daughter (she squeaks into the Gen Z category) who summed up what both of us thought: “It’s a pretty good summer drink that would go well with raspberries and cream. It needs to be chilled given the way it is so sweet with a strong blackberry flavour. It’s certainly got flavour despite the alcohol being removed.”

The process Brown Brothers uses helps retain the wine’s flavour. Brown Brothers has created its Zero range using spinning-cone technology to remove the alcohol. In essence, stainless steel columns are used in a form of low-temperature vacuum steam distillation to extract volatile chemicals from the wine.

Brown Brothers winemaker Katherine Brown is reported as saying that the spinning-cone technology process leaves a trace amount of alcohol (0.5 per cent ), helping to closely mimic the alcoholic drinking experience (I presume that’s drinking with the alcohol in rather than drinking like an alcoholic).

“I spent so much time at ‘rock bottom’ that I was charged rent for staying there.” –DC Hyden, The Sober Addict

Pincho… lamb skewers.

Photos: Wendy Johnson

Rosti tapas… with diced fresh tuna and brava sauce.

that is best served chilled, made with circa 0.5 per cent alcohol.

HOROSCOPE PUZZLES

By Joanne Madeline Moore

ARIES (Mar 21 – Apr 20)

This week Mercury, Jupiter and Uranus rev up your natural Ram curiosity. So it’s a good time to ask lots of questions, research a project, solve a puzzle, explain a confusing concept or get to the bottom of a perplexing problem. But guard against being too brisk, brusque and impetuous with pedantic people who test your limited patience – especially on Friday and Saturday. Do your very best to be as cool, calm and cooperative as you possibly can.

TAURUS (Apr 21 – May 21)

Promising opportunities are hovering around, and clever Bulls will examine all possibilities in a sensible and realistic light. With Saturn and Neptune in your hopes-and-wishes zone, it’s important to have a long-term goal that you’re working towards. You need to be patient, though, as you focus on bringing your lofty dreams down to earth via a practical plan. The late week Venus/Neptune link looks confusing, so try to keep a clear head and pace yourself.

GEMINI (May 22 – June 21)

The Sun, Mercury and Mars are in your wellbeing zone, so be proactive about finding a fitness routine that keeps you motivated. And choose healthy food options that you actually enjoy! Attached Twins – are you stuck in a relationship rut? Venus and Uranus encourage you to be more adventurous with your partner. Singles – don’t be dazzled by bulging pecs or a substantial bank balance. Look for lasting love with someone who has similar goals and values.

CANCER (June 22 – July 23)

Venus encourages you to contribute more of your time and talents to a worthy cause within your neighbourhood and local community. And Tuesday is a terrific day to welcome a new friend into your extended peer group. The planets also prompt you to text, tweet, post or publish your original ideas to an appreciative audience. But keep your wits about you, Crabs, and avoid getting side-tracked by unrealistic expectations and dubious dreams.

LEO (July 24 – Aug 23)

Courtesy of Venus and Uranus, is it time to retire an outdated relationship (romantic or platonic) so there’s room for a new one? With the Sun, Mercury and Mars in your domestic zone, strive to be more creative, communicative and proactive about a current family problem. Plus adjust your home/work ratio so it’s more balanced. Many domestically inclined Lions are in the mood to clean, declutter, decorate, renovate or cook up a storm at Villa Leo.

VIRGO (Aug 24 – Sept 23)

Three planetary oppositions could exacerbate problems with a loved one, a stressed colleague or a neurotic neighbour, as you misunderstand each other’s motives. Make it a priority to communicate your thoughts and feelings in a clear and compassionate way. It’s a good week to find a new friend, take a trip or plan a holiday, plus cross tasks off your to-do list as you tackle jobs you’ve previously put on the backburner. Creative projects are also favoured.

LIBRA (Sept 24 – Oct 23)

This week the Sun, Mercury, Mars, Jupiter and Uranus are all stimulating your wealth zone. So tap into the abundance that is all around you – and not just on a financial level. It’s time to combine your outer creativity with your inner strength, so that you shine brightly for all the world to see. Don’t let shyness, self-doubt or lack of confidence hold you back. Strong self-esteem and self-acceptance are your natural birthright, so start blooming, Libra!

SCORPIO (Oct 24 – Nov 22)

The Sun, Mercury and Mars are all in your sign, so sarcasm and sulking are out and buoyant joie de vivre is in! There’s much to look forward to as you attract opportunities, acknowledge a success or celebrate an important milestone. It’s also time to be as proactive and positive as you can manage. So, your mantra for the week is from fellow-Scorpio, Katy Perry: “If you’re presenting yourself with confidence, you can pull off pretty much anything.”

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 23 – Dec 21)

With Venus and Uranus activating your career zone, find creative and innovative ways to shine more brightly at work. You’re feeling positive about a challenge but sometimes there’s a fine line between being optimistic and being unrealistic. Wisdom for the week is from painter Pablo Picasso (born on October 25, 1881): “Our goals can only be reached through the vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act.”

CAPRICORN (Dec 22 – Jan 20)

A child, teenager or partner could shock you by making a surprise move, or a group project could suddenly veer off in a confusing direction. If you keep your adaptability muscles well-flexed, then Pluto (in your sign) will help you adjust to the constantly changing landscape. Venus and Uranus activate your education and friendship zones, so stop sulking and stewing over a perceived slight. It’s time to cooperate, coordinate, compromise and sympathise!

AQUARIUS (Jan 21 – Feb 19)

Aquarians can expect a rollicking ride, as your motivation levels fluctuate. Is a work colleague or loved one being difficult and demanding? Don’t be too hard on them… they have a lot on their plate. Tuesday is terrific for new friendships and falling in love fast, but you’ll feel a bit stir-crazy on the weekend. Try channelling your restless energy into challenging personal projects and adventurous outdoor pursuits, rather than sitting around feeling frustrated.

PISCES (Feb 20 – Mar 20)

You’re full of innovative ideas and creative schemes – but can you tell the difference between an inspiring daydream and a dodgy delusion? Realistic Saturn (in your sign) urges you to dig deep and set substantial goals that are worthy of your talents. And strive to get the balance right between being impulsive and taking thoughtful action. Spontaneity works sometimes but, at other times, perceptive Pisceans need to adopt a more measured approach.

Across

1 What was the pen name of Eric Arthur Blair, George ...? (6)

8 Name a city in European Turkey, formerly Constantinople. (8)

9 What are plant-sucking insects such as greenflies or plant lice? (6)

10 Who, in Greek legend, was the son of Zeus and the nymph Pluto? (8)

11 Which figure of speech directly expresses a resemblance in one or more points? (6)

12 What is an undersized, stunted animal? (4)

13 Which term often accompanies vice? (5)

16 When one declares in a positive manner, one does what? (5)

19 Name an emperor of Russia. (4)

21 Which man was formerly employed as a harem attendant? (6)

22 Who initiated the great building program responsible for the Parthenon? (8)

23 Name natives of Baghdad. (6)

24 Name a four times Australian world champion surfer, Mark ... (8)

Solution next edition

25 What is another term for mandates? (6) Down

2 To which animal class does the turtle belong? (7)

3 What are panaceas or cure-alls called? (7)

4 Who was the first surgeon to use antiseptics in surgery? (6)

5 Which musical composition resembles a short oratorio? (7)

6 Name another term for the mutton-fish. (7)

7 What are spectacles called? (7)

13 What is said to be a reanimated corpse? (7)

14 Name the frantic pace of city life. (3-4)

15 Which trees are usually known as wattles in Australia? (7)

17 Which Pacific republic was formerly New Hebrides? (7)

18 What is a written acknowledgement of having received money, etc? (7)

20 To strive against, is to do what? (6)

CHARTERED ACCOUNTANT

SPARE YOURSELF A TAX-DEBT SURPRISE

Do you have a tax debt? Have you made an arrangement to pay it off?

During covid the Australian Taxation Office (ATO) wrote off many tax debts as uneconomic to pursue.

This was to give small businesses assistance during covid. However, the ATO is currently pursuing these debts and you could get a demand for payment that you are not expecting.

You may have thought that your debt was written off and that the ATO would not attempt to collect it in the future. That's not the case and a lot of debts are being followed up now.

If you have a debt that was written off and has now been reinstated you should engage with the ATO or your tax adviser as soon as possible so that you can confirm the amount of the debt and work out a payment plan.

It is always preferable to negotiate with the ATO rather than have them chase you for an unpaid debt.

In a recent press release the ATO advised taxpayers that they have issued Notices of Intent to disclose business tax debts for a large number of businesses.

This means that if you have a tax debt of more than $100,000 which is overdue for more than 90 days you could receive one of these notices.

If the tax debt is unpaid within 28 days or a payment plan hasn’t been entered into, the ATO will publish your tax debt to creditrating agencies. This could result in your business having difficulty in obtaining finance and you could have problems with suppliers. If you operate your business through a company the ATO has the power to issue a director penalty notice (DPN). You do not want to receive a DPN. It requires that you take action within 21 days. If you do receive one contact your tax adviser or the ATO promptly.

In order to assist small businesses in the May budget, the government announced a lodgement penalty amnesty program for small businesses to encourage those businesses to re-engage with the ATO and get their tax obligations up to date without penalty.

To be eligible for this amnesty you need to have overdue income tax returns, BAS’s or fringe benefits tax returns that were due between December 1, 2019 and February 28, 2022.

To be eligible for the amnesty your business must have an annual turnover of less than $10 million at the time that the original lodgement was due.

If you fit this criterion and you lodge an overdue form between June 1 and December 31, 2023 all failure to lodge penalties applying to the late lodgements will be remitted automatically. Again, if you believe you are eligible for the amnesty, now is the time to seek professional advice to get your lodgement underway.

If you have any other ATO debt, the ATO has put out several bulletins indicating that it will be chasing unpaid debt. It is always preferable to be on the front foot so, again, I encourage you to talk to your income tax professional or the ATO to set up a payment arrangement.

The experts at Gail Freeman & Co Pty Ltd are able to examine your case and advise you on the next best step based on your current position including referral to others if required.

Disclaimer

This column contains general advice, please do not rely on it. If you require specific advice on this topic please contact Gail Freeman or your professional adviser. Authorised Representative of Lifespan Financial Planning Pty Ltd AFS Lic No. 229892.

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