One of RHONY’s First Black Cast Members
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Photo Cred: Crystal Chatmon
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FROM THE DESK OF CHERYL POLOTE WILLIAMSON
Stepping Into the AFFIRMED LIFE! You can decide today that greater is in store for you. Right now, at this moment, as you read these words, you can receive the powerful shift that is coming your way. I chose to close 2021 EMPOWERED and step boldly into the newness of my next level in the affirmed life. In my new season, I vow daily to cast vision, pray, speak affirmations, project outcomes, give generously, and WIN! Period! I will stay ready for and only engage doors designed specifically for me and align wholly with my purpose. I will not veer to the left or the right or give any attention to anyone else’s portion but will remain steadfast, unmovable, and unshakeable in the lane designated for me. I will walk through those doors unafraid and without hesitation. I will not waste time by getting ready once opportunity knocks, but I will be ready at all times. I will pursue nothing and no one. Goodness and increase come to me. I declare that my season of planting is over. Every good seed I planted over my lifetime will yield a thousand-fold harvest while creating opportunities for other likeminded, ready individuals, and then together, we will expand our territories, increase, and create more opportunities. In this season, I will not beg for anything, nor will anyone connected to me. Blessings and success will overtake us. I choose to believe in something greater. I choose to believe in the future I have envisioned for myself. I choose to believe in ME! In this season, I AM. The GREATER ONE dwells
inside of me, and therefore, I have access. To what? EVERYTHING! I speak fulfillment of all my heart’s desires. I am a force, and I am enough. I am capable, and I am undeniable. I will not wait for anyone to affirm me. I affirm myself. I AM affirmed. Just like it is a choice to sit back and take life as it comes, it is a choice to stand up and declare better days. No matter your storm, setback, or trial, DECLARE and take part in the AFFIRMED LIFE! There is a power shift in wealth, opportunities, and access that includes you. Clam it! You have what it takes. Forget your past—take from it the lessons that made you stronger and helped you grow. Use to your advantage the lessons that weakened you and set you back. Good or bad, each lesson is a chance to live life anew. Seize this moment to begin again. I am committed to seizing my new season and my new level and am dedicated to bringing other phenomenally made, like-minded women along with me. Will you join me? Step out of the old and close that chapter EMPOWERED and step with me into the AFFIRMED LIFE! Blessings to you and yours throughout the holidays and coming year,
Cheryl EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Cheryl
Family, Community, Human Interest: Help, Hope, and Legacy
REDIRECTION AND HEALTHY ACCEPTANCE Courtney Williamson
WINTER 2022 | ISSUE #9
CONTENTS
32
34
THE SIX-GIFT RULE Create a Legacy That Forever Changes the Way Your Child Sees Christmas
44
VITILIGO: Up Close and Personal Tonja L. Johnson
COVER STORY: KIM FIELDS
Actor, Director, Producer, Author, Entrepreneur A Rare and Quintessential Quintuple Threat
56
LIFESTYLE
Celebrate LIFE With Family, Good Food, and Fun!
70
OUR FAVORITE GIFTS TO GIVE & RECEIVE with Bonus Kids' Edition
74
THE ART OF GIFT WRAPPING Adding a Customed Touch
76
LET'S GATHER Super Easy & Fun-to-Make Holiday Recipes to LIVE for!
12 Terri J. Vaughn God, Tenacity, and Trusting the Journey
26
18 Kita Williams Authentically HER Focused and Intentional
BUSINESS & FINANCE Get insight that will help strengthen and empower your life and business!
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48 86 88 92
104
PARENTING TIPS for Great Family Fun During the Holidays
Bershan Shaw I AM A WARRIOR! And You’re a Warrior Too ENTREPRENEUR SPOTLIGHT: Rosemary Oglesby-Henry From Turmoil to Triumph: Breaking Cycles and Changing Destinies BUSINESS SENSE & SENSIBILITY: The Power of Project Management THE LIST: Cheryl's Favorite Business Resources BENEFITS OF HIRING A PUBLICIST
IN EVERY ISSUE We THRIVE! Motivation, Inspiration, Action Plans, and POWER
66
6
A Letter From the Editor-in-Chief
24
Daddy Issues
38
with Tess Alexandria Dr. Cheryl Polote Williamson Get Self-Aware, Focused and Vocal
Foxxy Wizdom
with Charmaine Roots Castillo Idiosyncratic Oath
40
90
What Women Should Know with Reuben Chandler Space...Not Distance
94
with Roni M. Benjamin Help Protect Your Standard of Living
with Keri Henderson Wardrobe Tips for Your Next Brand Photoshoot
The Gentleman's Voice:
Money Talk
Style Matters
AFFIRMED 100
FOCUS ON MENTAL HEALTH
with Tyreese McAlister Gratitude: An Ingredient of Happiness
102
106
with Patricia Bailey Being Fully Present for Joy
with Traci Henderson Smith Black, Brown, & Beautiful Lauryn Jones, creator, author, and illustrator
AGING WELL
#GIRLPOWER
N
EVER LIVE SO DEEPLY INSIDE SOMEONE'S DREAM THAT YOU NEVER FULFILL YOUR OWN.
48
- CHERYL
Rosemary's Babies
HEALTH & WELLNESS Look Well. Heal Well. Feel Well. Live Well!
47
84
TEN TIPS to Avoid Weight Gain During the Holidays SISTERS AND SELF-CARE Maria D. Flowers, MHA P. 1 1 | Cheryl MAGAZINE
DADDY ISSUES with Tess Alexandria
Get Self-Aware, Focused, and Vocal P. 2 4 | Cheryl MAGAZINE P. 2 4 | Cheryl MAGAZINE
efore Daddy Issues was an article, it was a vision. I wanted to help women who’d experienced some level of pain or brokenness that stemmed from their (lack of) relationship with their fathers that simultaneously trickled into other areas of their lives. I wanted to speak to the women who weren’t yet aware of the damage caused by said relationship and to the women who were just now discovering how deeply they were affected. I also wanted to share my story and journey of healing, hoping to bring healing and inspiration to those women. As I’ve continued on this journey, I’ve been able to share my experiences and offer advice to those in similar situations. In doing so, I took notice of the fact that healing is not one-dimensional. Sometimes healing can seem solely about overcoming the hurt you once physically and emotionally felt. Don’t get me wrong. It’s vitally important to properly assess and work through past trauma. However, during this process, you also have to remain cognizant of how you presently feel. Meaning, you can’t spend so much time on the past that you lose sight of your current reality. This type of self-awareness is necessary because it can help prevent you from tolerating and repeating toxic or unhealthy behaviors. In short, it should help keep you from backtracking because of the constant introspection. In theory, this can sound slightly complex and maybe even mentally exhausting, but I can attest to it being very possible. In the last couple of months, I’ve been paying close attention to how I feel when I’m around others. I started taking note of people’s energies and focusing on what their true intentions were. Since part of my daddy issues includes staying too long in unhealthy spaces and giving away too much of myself, I could no longer afford to passively exist in these kinds of relationships. Giving these relationships a much more critical eye is forcing me to be in control. It also provides me with opportunities to speak up for myself and practice vocalizing my likes and dislikes. In some instances, it allows me to practice silent observation. Instead of stating what I want or need, I choose to watch how the person will naturally treat me. From there, I waste no
time deciding if the relationship is worth continuing. Yes, this is all as uncomfortable as it sounds, especially for someone like me who has spent most of my life allowing others to dictate our relationship, thereby accepting far less than I deserved. Despite my discomfort, I am fully aware that growth is taking place. Surprisingly, doing the uncomfortable has resulted in my stepping fully into myself and becoming comfortable doing so. It has also resulted in stronger, more valuable and viable relationships. My point is, in shifting my focus from “getting over the hurt” or questioning how long it will take to what’s happening presently and how I feel now, I am slowly but surely getting free from some of the things that have been so hard to heal from and let go. You almost have to laugh at the irony there. While I don’t have an exact formula, as people heal and come into the knowledge of themselves in different ways, here are a few steps on how to train your subconscious to no longer passively exist in unhealthy relationships: 1. Shift your focus from past hurts to being more present and aware in current environments. Be careful not to assign past pain to present relationships. 2. Tune into and fairly assess how a person naturally treats you without any prompting. 3. Without a filter, honestly determine for yourself if you’re in a relationship with someone with damaging toxic traits or with someone unaware of behaviors worth mentioning, who would likely make adjustments. Side note: Be aware that telling someone how you feel should not result in an argument. 4. Get comfortable with being uncomfortable as you break into becoming a stronger you who takes control of your surroundings by only allowing those who deserve your energy to share your space.
Thank you for joining me again for Daddy Issues. Why the name? I aim to reverse the feeling women get every time we hear that phrase. There is a stigma attached to it. It’s often used as a weapon, with the intent to make us feel like we are the problem. Dispelling the misnomer includes providing new information on something that was named before its true nature was known. I’ll attempt to do that in each Cheryl Magazine issue as I address behaviors and characteristics that developed from our father’s lack of skill and ability to bond with, encourage, teach, or support us. To all the young girls and grown women, it was never your fault. The issue was his, and because of your daddy’s issue, you found yourself improperly navigating relationships. Let’s talk about it. For the record, Daddy Issues is an opinion column. I’m not a clinical professional or expert on the subject, I’m just a girl who needed her daddy. If you’d like to connect, follow me on Instagram: @tessalexandria_ or Facebook: Tess Alexandria. If you have questions or a topic you’d like to discuss, email me at tess@cherylmagazine.com. P. 2 5 | Cheryl MAGAZINE
The
Six-Gift Rule
Create a Legacy That Forever Changes the Way Your Child Sees Christmas
GIFT
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by Traci Henderson Smith
D
o you remember making a Christmas list as a child? Whether for Santa or straightshooting parents, that list always gave us hope. It was part of the joy of Christmas. What items would make this list? Would they all, or would we be lucky enough to get just one? And which one? The mystery and intrigue of what lay behind all the colorful paper and perfectly wrapped boxes catered to our excitement. And then, lo and behold, it never failed, the one present containing the department store sweater that we didn’t ask for—where is the Barbie Dream House with furniture, toys, and accessories with six funfilled rooms where Barbie entertains that I wanted? Do you know what else never failed? Getting the coveted 100-piece toy assortment that had our attention for less than 24 hours before we returned to our favored, trusted stuffy, and that frowned-upon sweater coming through for the winter. Not much has changed throughout the years. We’ve all seen this scenario play out time after time with children of all ages. What if you could stop this cycle, save money during what has become the most commercialized event of the year, redefine Christmas for your children, and begin your child’s journey to generational wealth by building a legacy brand? You may be way ahead of me here and are one of the households that already live by the four-gift rule: something they want, something they need, something to wear, something to read. It’s a popular trend among large families and works wonders for many Christmas budgets. It’s also a way to bring clarity and stabilize expectations around the event. Your child’s list is concise, all the bases are covered, and disappointments reduced.
Something they want
Something they need
fulfills a heart’s desire and makes them happy. Gifting children with something they want fills them with that long-awaited rewarding feeling that everyone deserves.
instills in them (perhaps over time) your desire as a parent to always make sure they are taken care of no matter the season. The ‘something they need’ gift can relate to any area of their life—academia, sports, hobbies, or personal.
Something to wear
Something to read
is pretty self-explanatory. But instead of the department store winter sweater no one cares about, this is your chance to be “super dope” in your child’s eyes with an age-appropriate, to-live-for item or ensemble that’s trendy and bound to be a hit in their social circles.
is where the magic happens. As a writer and long-time lover of expanding imaginations, I’m biased on this one. The ‘something to read’ gift is an opportunity to broaden your child’s horizons, introduce new information or concepts, nourish interests, and make ideas possible. P. 3 5 | Cheryl MAGAZINE
COVER STORY COVER STORY
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Kim Fields: Actor, Director, Producer, Author, Entrepreneur
A Rare and Quintessential Quintuple Threat by Siobhan Davenport Kimberly Victoria Fields is a rarity in the entertainment industry and always searching for a new entity. Fields, an industry lifer with a celebrated forty-year career as an actor, director, and producer, expanded her range, adding author and entrepreneurship. Even so, the roles that make her most proud are wife, mother, daughter, sister, and woman of deep faith. Fields has been happily married for fourteen years to Christopher Morgan and is the mother of two sons, Sebastian and Quincy. “My faith keeps me grounded and humbled in all things—my husband, kids, and my long career in entertainment. Believing in something bigger than my own existence has also given me [the] strength to keep pushing for more through curiosity, compassion, connection, and love. In those moments when I feel overrun by things in life, God is always on time to guide the way.” Fields comes from an amazingly talented family, sharing the spotlight with her mother, acclaimed actress and director Chip Fields-Hurd, and sister, actress Alexis Fields. Fields’ breakthrough role at the age of ten was the iconic Tootie on the hit show Facts of Life, which aired from 1979 to 1988, making it one of the longest-running sitcoms of the 80s. The show quickly rose to NBC’s fourth highest-rated scripted series. Soon after, it became the highestrated comedy series and number two overall. Tootie was, and still is, not only a meaningful character to legions of her fans but also has special meaning to Fields. “Tootie is an image of the wit, sass, and curiosity that many young ladies have. I love that she is a character [in which] girls from the time [the show] aired to girls today can relate. There are just certain things that transcend time, and the experience of growing up female and coming of age is one of them.”
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