SUMMER 2022
Engage in a Self-Care Routine WHY TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF IS IMPORTANT
Vanessa Estelle Williams Darlene McCoy
Taja V. Simmons and Entrepreneur Spotlight
Sylvia Brownlee
ALEXIS KERR VP of Hallmark Mahogany Brand
Know Your Voice. Use Your Voice. P. 1 Cheryl MAGAZINE
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THE ARTOF INFLUENCE Invite Success Into Every Area of Your Life!
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Editorial Email
editorials@cherylmagazine.com TO SELL CHERYL MAGAZINE IN YOUR STORE info@cherylmagazine.com ISSN: 2766-6352 (Print) Cheryl Magazine a lifestyle and women’s empowerment publication, is a Cheryl Polote Williamson, LLC (CPW) quarterly produced by Williamson Media Group, LLC (WMG) 6101 Long Prairie Road, Box 744 #269, Flower Mound, TX 75028. Periodicals postage paid at Flower Mound, TX and additional mailing offices. Postmaster: Please send changes of address to Cheryl Magazine 6101 Long Prairie Road, Box 744 #269, Flower Mound, TX 75028. Subscribers, allow 4-6 weeks for change of address to become effective. Subscriptions ordered are non-cancellable and non-refundable unless otherwise promoted. Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no responsibility can be assumed for unsolicited materials. All rights in letters sent to Cheryl Magazine will be treated as unconditionally assigned for publication and copyright purposes and are subject to unrestricted right to edit and to comment editorially. Request for permission to reprint should be sent to the Permissions and Reprints Department by emailing info@cherylmagazine.com and placing “Request for permission to reprint” in the subject line. The title Cheryl Magazine is registered in the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office. Contents copyright © 2022 by Williamson Media Group, LLC. All rights reserved. Nothing can be reprinted in whole or in part without express written permission from the publisher. Printed in the U.S.A.
CHERYL MAGAZINE
A lifestyle and women’s empowerment publication Editor-in-Chief | Dr. Cheryl Polote Williamson Cover Director & Managing Editor | Traci Henderson Smith Contributing Features Editor | Siobhan Davenport Contributing Editor | Charmaine Roots Castillo Contributing Editor | Tess Alexandria Financial Editor | Roni M. Benjamin Copy Editor | Dr. Michelle Kindred
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Patricia Bailey Hayli Boyd Maria D. Flowers Tyrese McAllister Sarina Renee Murphy
Zachary Spires Kimberly Noel Sweet Courtney N. Williamson Nina Wooten Nikki Wright
OPERATIONS Creative Director | Shannon Skipper Green Jarrett Business and Media | media@cherylmagazine.com Sales | Tammy Woodard sales@cherylmagazine.com Projects | Danette Brown projects@cherylmagazine.com Art Department | art@cherylmagazine.com Circulation & Distribution | Kristen Hansen Kristen@cherylmagazine.com
STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Damon Barnes (Orlando) Reuben Chandler (Atlanta /NYC) Eryk Gross (Dallas/Houston) Corey S. Guevarra (Los Angeles) Heidi Pearson (Chicago)
WILLIAMSON MEDIA GROUP, LLC EXECUTIVE President | Russell Williamson Chief Executive Officer | Cheryl Polote Williamson Advisor to the Editor-in-Chief | Mikki Taylor
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FROM THE DESK OF CHERYL POLOTE WILLIAMSON Engaging in a self-care routine isn’t just about massages, facials, manicures, and pedicures. All those things count and should be mandatory, not as a treat, but as a necessity. However, protecting your mental health is the greatest act of self-care you can offer yourself.
Celebrate each day to the fullest. You’re alive. That’s reason enough to rejoice. Finding reasons to express gratitude does wonders for your mental health. Start a gratitude journal and watch your mental health improve while your world opens to endless possibilities.
Setting boundaries has inched its way to number one on my list of self-care must-haves. Though difficult, I learned to give and not allow it to empty me. I am a giver by nature. I pour and pour, and pour, and pour. You can’t constantly pour out without replenishing, refueling, refilling, and restoring. And yes, at times, that means a quick getaway for some rest and relaxation, a trip to the spa, or some stay-at-home-quiet time soaking in the tub in total peace and silence—a glass of wine and some candles if you’re fancy. More than that, I’ve learned to redefine self-care in a way that doesn’t cost a dime but could cost a person’s mental stability and sanity if not added to their course of everyday life. I read someplace that givers must set boundaries because takers never do. Set the boundaries. It’s a key component in taking care of you.
Finally, and this is a big one. I pray this change in your self-care routine brings you constant and evolving change. All the love you give to others, give it to yourself. Whatever need you have and void in you that is unfulfilled, that you keep waiting on someone else to fill for you, you fill it with all the love, attention, appreciation, respect, honor, and care you deserve, then watch how you will attract the same from others.
Become unavailable. I don’t mean where your calendar or time is concerned, though you should reevaluate those too. When I say become unavailable, I mean to protect and safeguard your mental, emotional, and spiritual space. Become unavailable to what is draining, toxic, or doesn’t sit well with or serve you. Become unavailable to whatever is not for you. You have so much you should be working on that is a part of the God-given assignment and purpose designated for your life. You don’t have time for anything that is not growing, developing, feeding, or financing you. And even if it is doing those things, are they a part of your assignment? You may have to let some things go and learn to be ok with that. Become unavailable to negativity, co-dependency, unchanged behaviors, and dead cycles. And most of all, become unavailable to any and everything that disrespects and devalues you. You simply don’t have the time.
Self-care is purposeful and intentional selfprioritized engagement. It’s important, and it’s necessary. Do yourself the favor. Love,
Cheryl
Become more aware of what’s worth your energy. Don’t do anything that doesn’t bring you the fullness of joy. Stop doing things you don’t like, that stress you, or cause you emotional turmoil or pain. Just stop. Walk away today. That’s some self-care for you!
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INSIDE THIS ISSUE
Cheryl
Family, Community, Human Interest: Help, Hope, and Legacy
CONTENTS
SUMMER 2022 | ISSUE #11
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THE INVITATION Interview with the creators of the new documentary about The Links, Incorporated.
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REDEFINING LOVE Two perspectives: A Married and a Single Woman's View
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HOW GOOD CAN IT GET? Courtney N. Williamson
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AUTHOR'S CORNER
COVER STORY: Alexis Kerr
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VP of Hallmark Mahogany Brand Know Your Voice. Use Your Voice.
LIFESTYLE
Celebrate LIFE With Family, Good Food, and Fun!
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STYLE MATTERS Amplify Your Next Zoom!
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PARENTING TIPS Green Thumbs & Life Lessons
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22 Vanessa E. Williams Committed to Joy, by Any Means Necessary
26 The Great Migration Through the Exploration of Art
BUSINESS & FINANCE Get insight that will help strengthen and empower your life and business! P. 8 Cheryl MAGAZINE
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Taja V. Simpson Colorism and the Power of Affirmations
FAMILY CORNER Wonderful Water Wonderland Wonders Works!
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MASTERING THE COOKOUT Recipes to Help Your Summer Sizzle
BUSINESS SENSE & SENSIBILITY: DELEGATE, DELEGATE, DELEGATE! THE LIST: Cheryl's Favorite Business Resources ENTREPRENEUR SPOTLIGHT: Sylvia Brownlee: Stay the Course
IN EVERY ISSUE
We THRIVE! Motivation, Inspiration, Action Plans, and POWER
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42
Dr. Cheryl Polote Williamson
with Tess Alexandria Adding Healthy Confrontation to My Self-Care List
What Women Should Know with Zachary Spires My Journey in Fatherhood
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A Letter From the Editor-in-Chief
Foxxy Wizdom
with Charmaine Roots Castillo Sister, Sister Wherefore Art Thou?
Darlene "McCoy" Jackson Embracing and Loving Your Authentic Self
The Gentleman's Voice:
Daddy Issues
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FOCUS ON MENTAL HEALTH
AGING WELL
with Patricia Bailey No Time for Self-Care? I Can Help.
with Tyrese McAllister It Was the Best of Times; It Was the Worst of Times.
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with Roni M. Benjamin Money Can’t Buy Happiness, but Neither Can Poverty.
with Traci Henderson Smith Strength to Live Authentically: Meet the Cochrans
#GIRLPOWER
Money Talk
G
ive, but don't let it empty you. Become aware of what's really worth your energy. - CHERYL
COVER SHOOT:
Photographer: Reuben Chandler Photography Wardrobe: Kenya Freeman, CEO of Sylvia Mollie Makeup: Sydney Ryan
HEALTH & WELLNESS Look Well. Heal Well. Feel Well. Live Well!
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SUNNY DAYS AND OTHER WAYS TO GET SOME VITAMIN D Maria D. Flowers, MHA
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LASERS AND MELANIN: THE UNLIKELY PAIR Hayli Boyd P. 9 Cheryl MAGAZINE
THE LIST CHERYL'S FAVORITE RESOURCES
Knowing you’re not alone in your business and that helpful resources to take your business to the next level surround you can be a relief. Here are a few of my favorites, from networking to funding.
Goldman Sachs 10k Small Business Program www.goldmansachs.com/citizenship/10000-smallbusinesses/US/#
Women’s Business Enterprise National Council www.wbenc.org/certification
If you apply, use Cheryl P Williamson LLC as a referral.
WBENC is also an approved third-party certifier for the SBA’s Women-Owned Small Business (WOSB) Federal Contracting Program.
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Small Business Administration www.sba.gov intuit.com Intuit is a global technology platform, powering prosperity with TurboTax, QuickBooks, Mint, Credit Karma, and Mailchimp.
Women's Business Center Richmond www.theinstitutenc.org/WBCRichmond The WBC of Richmond provides services for business owners and aspiring entrepreneurs seeking operational, financial, and marketing assistance.
Swain Consulting swainconsultingllc.com Providing comprehensive financial services with an emphasis in Work Opportunity Tax Credit (WOTC).
The SBA has worked to ignite change and spark action so small businesses can confidently start, grow, expand, or recover.
Minority Business Development Agency www.mbda.gov/who-we-are/overview The U.S. Department of Commerce, Minority Business Development Agency (MBDA) is the only federal agency solely dedicated to the growth and global competitiveness of minority business enterprises.
Black Alzheimer’s Brain Study blackalzbrainstudy.com Our mission is to create solutions for a healthier community.
AARP www.aarp.org
Lift Fund www.liftfund.com
AARP is a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization that empowers people to choose how they live as they age.
Assistance with loans, tools and resources to help entrepreneurs grow their business. P. 5 7 Cheryl MAGAZINE
#GIRLPOWER
with Traci Henderson Smith
Strength to Live Authentically!
Photos by: Paul Stewart Photography and Marie Cochran
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We approached #GirlPower differently this time. Introducing the Cochran family is a full-circle moment. When we first took Cheryl Magazine to print, I created #GirlPower with them in mind. The idea to present young visionaries, changemakers, icons, and leaders excelling in every field of endeavor placed Chef Simone, who you met in our first issue, and Jasmine and Nahla Cochran in the top two stories I wanted to cover. Each time I prepared to move forward with the Cochrans, I got the feeling, not yet. I didn’t know why until now. Still, and not to overlook the incredible talent of their equally remarkable brother, #NateTheGreat, but, you know, #GirlPower and all, I kept future Olympians #PrincessJasmine, 14-time AAU Track & Field All American, and #NahlaStar, 16-time AAU Track & Field All American and 5-time AAU National Champion in mind. I reached out to their mother, Marie, finally feeling that this summer issue would be a perfect time. “When I got the message to share about my daughters’ rise to greatness; I was hesitant to respond,” she told me. "I would have to say that it may not be the story you are looking for,” Marie continued. She thanked me for the opportunity and explained how that rise to greatness had evolved. That’s when I discovered a story I hope blesses you the way it blessed me, and one I felt only the mother could tell. “In late November 2021, during a family trip, things changed abruptly. Jasmine (11) had been recovering from an injury for the past year, so we were focused on getting our youngest daughter, Nahla, to the cross-country championship a week away,” explains Marie. “During our trip, our 8-time junior Olympian, and 5-time national champion, wrote my husband and me a letter and said she did not want to run anymore. We weren’t surprised, and it wasn’t the first time she had mentioned it. What nine-year-old child running five to ten miles a day and putting grown men to shame with her strength and conditioning regimen wouldn’t complain from time to time? This time was different, though. There was nothing Nahla’s older siblings could bribe her with, and there was no amount of cheese pizza and brownies after her event that would inspire her. I also noticed that Nahla didn’t want us to share her accolades with anyone during our stay in Orlando. She would say that it was ‘too much pressure.’ Too much pressure? I was confused. To witness Nahla run—she made it look effortless. Something was different. I coached her through
her thoughts and found that it wasn’t just a desire for more playtime. She was sharing her heart. My husband John and I are the parents of three children that are very well known in the track community for their skill, work ethic, and extensive achievements. For the past five years, we have traveled all over the nation, been published in magazines, featured on the news, and named our city’s future Olympians. We have had so much support, and we have been a source of inspiration for so many intentional parents. We were fully committed to the expectation of greatness. It was really hard not to keep pushing her.” I could hear the desperation in a mother fighting the demon of public perception and the pressure of expectation. On the one hand, Nahla had parents, family members, the community, full support of her city, and fans across the nation that were all in and had been, from the start, pushing, supporting, cheering, and believing. She would be an Olympian, and she would be their Olympian, and they would all be waiting at the finish line. On the other hand, she was just a child—otherworldly-gifted, but a child. Marie needed to decide between a sure future in track & field and her child’s well-being and mental health. She chose the latter. “I haven’t shared this publicly because I was afraid. I have seen the backlash that superstars like Simone Biles and Naomi Osaka have gotten for making decisions against expectations that got placed upon them. Nahla has a long way to go before she’s at that level, but as a mother, naturally, I want to protect her. I was afraid of what people would say about our daughter and her future. I was afraid of what they would speculate about our parenting. I was afraid of the rejection she may experience not living up to what others thought she should be. As I wrestled with these thoughts, I realized I was trying to protect our child from a fear of rejection that she hadn’t learned yet. I knew that our response to her request to stop running competitively would either train her to make it a priority to live up to the expectations of others or teach her, courageously, to be her authentic self. As tears run down my face sharing this, I realize I still struggle with feeling like I am enough as a woman, wife, mother, and entrepreneur and that those feelings stem from my childhood experiences. They are rooted in my parents’ P.7711 Cheryl Cheryl MAGAZINE MAGAZINE P.
approval or the lack thereof. I still get caught up in projects and missions, trying to prove to myself that I am enough. I still catch myself looking to fulfill expectations that others have of me. I knew that I was at a pivotal point in my child’s rearing and was one answer away from creating that same monster in my daughter. I couldn’t do it. I chose to fall back and allow her to show me how freedom from the bondage of expectations looked. Nahla is now freely living her best life. When asked why she is not running, I can see the expectations of others rise within her. I remind her that she is not the label of future Olympian or any of her championship titles. She is not the sum of what she does well or even what she no longer chooses to do. She is Nahla, #NahlaStar Cochran. She is a star no matter what.” Nervously, Marie shared her daughter’s choice for self-care and disengagement from the thing most felt made her great, not knowing that the theme for our summer issue is self-care and its importance and that this story is what we needed. Girl power shows up in many forms, and at times it is in the
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strength it takes to choose us over everyone. Thank you for this lesson Nahla. I wish I had had the guts to choose ME at your age. It would have made such a difference in my life. Marie says Nahla still wakes up for 5 AM workouts a couple of times a week and outruns everyone around her. Periodically she speaks of running again, but who knows. Jasmine is recovering well from her injury, and it looks as if she may have taken a page from her sister’s book, as she has not yet decided whether or not to step back on the track. In the meantime, both girls have joined their local YMCA and are exploring swimming, soccer, and fitness. More importantly, they are exercising their right to discover all that they are without the pressure of outside expectations. They are defining themselves for themselves and declaring that they are far more than one thing done well. That’s #GirlPower if we’ve ever seen it. Jasmine and Nahla Cochran, Cheryl Magazine salutes you and wishes you all the best for the future!
WE GO BEYOND FAIR TRADE
FOR GLOBAL IMPACT & AWARD-WINNING RESULTS Proudly Black-owned, Alaffia is on a mission to alleviate poverty and advance gender equality in West Africa. Our unrefined shea butter, baobab oil and African black soap are handcrafted at our women-led Alaffia Village Co-op and then blended into our clean, plant-based skin and hair care collections.
alaffia.com
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Green Thumbs & Life Lessons An exciting way to engage your child this summer while teaching basic spiritual and life principles. by Traci Henderson Smith
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t’s not too late to plant a garden. A summer garden is perfect for a fall harvest. Gardening is also great for bonding with your children. Growing a garden can be a fun and exciting activity for children. There is something about the reward of seeing first sprouts break ground. A garden project also creates an opportunity to teach your child several principles that can strengthen their belief system and faith, and cultivate family and other personal relationships. Plant a garden this summer and share lessons with your child in:
Creation Listening and Paying Attention Following Instructions Obedience Caring and Nurturing Patience and Trust Kindness and Gentleness Sowing and Reaping Sharing Some simple, easy-to-grow veggies are: beefsteak tomatoes, cherry tomatoes, Tiny Tim tomatoes, cucumbers, string beans, lima beans, onions (green or yellow), lettuce, cabbage, and greens. Herbs include: parsley, chives, oregano, basil, and thyme. Peppers, peanuts, carrots, potatoes (white and sweet), and a favored flower are also great ideas.
Let's Get Growing!
Save the Bees Terracotta Grow Kit Available in Forget-Me-Nots, Zinnia, Cosmos, Daisy, and Coneflower. $9.99 buzzyseeds.com
Kids Gardening 16-Piece Tool Kit makes it easy & fun to get your little ones into the gardening — no green thumb or big backyard needed! Use code: Cheryl25 for 25% off your purchase. $29.99, backtotheroots.com
"In The Garden" by Emma Giuliani From season to season, children follow the life of a garden as each page reveals new treasures hiding under lift-up flaps. $19.59, amazon.com
I Can Grow Flower Kit This fun DIY kit includes a variety of cute colorful self-adhesive stickers that can be used to decorate your plastic pot. Plant, water and watch your flowers sprout and grow! $15.99, kidscoloringco.com P. 7 5 Cheryl MAGAZINE
SWAIN CONSULTING
We Understand
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CHERYL MAGAZINE
Williamson Media Group, LLC 6101 Long Prairie Road Box 744 #269 Flower Mound, TX 75028 info@cherylmagazine.com