בס“ד
א ט פ ח ה ע כ ע ר שב“ק פרשת בלק
Issue 1
מחנה גן ישראל קיץ תשע“ב Inside this issue:
How to turn off your bunks PA
749
How to get connections
1414
What the staff do after lights out
613
How to cheat fairly
770
How the lake became wet
718
My Boich S’vorois Wow! What an amazing smashing crashing start to the greatest camp on earth. It all started late at night when we all boarded some cool big fancy busses with our suitcases safely thrown away in a big truck.
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The few of us that made it on time, quickly got to know the camp grounds so that we won’t be caught off guard later in the summer.
This Newsletter is called A Tefach Hecher because:
We were introduced to our counselor(s) who were defiantly excited to see that we made it alive over the bridge.
Who is Alon Zaretzky 735 How to fight nicely
We are the greatest camp in the world We like the name What else should we call it? It rhymes with Becher which comes before the newsletter is given out We made a raffle, and that’s the name that won The chipmunks jump A Tefach Hecher
We then got to see a night activity with schizophrenic NADDB. That was the first Chassunah which the Chosson covered his face and the Kallah didn’t have her hair done. All week long our counselors were very busy marking how good we played sports in preparation for draft
day. We had a IHE with someone who liked talking with a closed mouth. Really funny! Cocoa club started with a bang, (ouch!) with Itche Kadoozy and Jono having their usual conversations. Finally at the end of the week came Shabbos with all the Chayus associated with it! To top it all off we had Shmoyonkee! NADDB, CMZ, CAL and PAMZB had us rolling in corn flakes for quite a while and included a Chinese Mexican and a lady. The first full week of camp started with the announcing of the Soda Sports League. When we thought it couldn’t get any better, ICE-SKATING! We went round and round in circles until we finally made it to the ice rink! After kicking everyone
out of the rink we started ice-skating in the water for a couple of hours. Then straight to the park for a picnic and around 30 games played simultaneously. It was an awesome day never to be forgotten. Suddenly, signs were going up, something was happening… A Voch In Leibtzik! Every bunk started raking in the cash by making cheers for their bunk. Apparently Leibtzik is a city with a lot of the green stuff. We all watched a video of NADDB asking people for a ride to Antarctica and getting the police on his case. The greatest camp on earth has officially begun!
א טפח העכער
Page 2
Some of you are wondering what Debaga means, so this week we decided to try and find out a little about this entity we call Dbaga Bdaga.
NADDB: I give Mishi mop a bath. Eat farchanyukteh Cholent and play with my baby.
ATH: When you born?
NADDB: He doesn’t want one yet, I’m trying to convince him to get one.
NADDB: Yellow and green together, it’s very confusing.
ATH: So what do you call him?
NADDB: Boo!
ATH: What’s your babies name?
were
ATH: Do you read this newsletter?
Caption describing picture or graphic.
NADDB: I can’t read English.
NADDB: My baby.
ATH: How do you prepare for night activity?
ATH: Are you also a learning teacher?
NADDB: I eat sugar and make sure to go to the bathroom beforehand.
NADDB: I am learning how to be a teacher.
ATH: As a night activity director, what do you suggest we should do to bring Moshiach closer?
ATH: What’s your opinion on the slavery in the cocoa fields in Colombia?
NADDB: Have Ahavas Yisroel, especially to your night activity director and also friends. ATH: What do you do when your not preparing for night activity?
ATH: A lot of kids seem to be need ing the bu n k p as s desperately, what can we do to stop the epidemic? NADDB: Change the color of the pass. ATH: Which color?
ATH: Any final words?
brought to you by the dedicated staff of Section B+ CSZ
I just fell off the bus.
CZG
Love, Moshe Shmuel P.S. My counselor said I was not supposed to use his pen, so it took me time to find a pen. When I found a pen the pen didn’t have any ink so I looked for another pen. I found a pen.
CSK CMG Moshe Shmuel outside the gas station
I Scream You Scream An inquiry has begun by the CCCC (Canadian Consumer Code of Conduct) as to the suspicious price hike in ice cream sold by Akiva’s Bagels Pty. Ltd. over the past week.
NADDB: Cocoa sounds good to me.
A repres entative of the governing body has informed the public that the action comes as a result of repeated complaints by a number of individuals.
Most repeated song of the week: PAMZO: “Ki Heim Chayenu, V’Oirech Yameinu, V’Oirech Yameeeinu”
clouds. The clouds will then carry the water to Africa where it can be used to clean elephants. The elephants would then support the institute by simply being there for the researchers to research. So the next time you go on a bus remember to take your sweater in case there are elephants in Africa.
This newsletter is
Dear Mommy and Tatty, Zaidy and Bubby, Chaim and Uncle Shmuel, Zelig Dov and Meir Anshel, Chaim Tzvi and Yocheved Shprintza, Elte Zeidy and Elte Zeidies mother, Bubbe Hinda and Bubbe Yente, Bubbe Sarah and Bubbe Chana Freida Shlita’s,
Reports so far vary, with some unions claiming that ice cream cup prices have been raised by a whopping 40%. Researchers at the MEdical inStitute of ice-Skating, otherwise known as the MESS, have concluded that a single slip on ice contains more water than a drop of water the poor people drink in Africa. Therefore they suggest that all ice-skaters should spend time in the sun, which would hydronate the water off their clothes, into the
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A letter to home
Get to know your staff
NADDB: Eight days before my Bris.
Issue 1
The team at the MESS pose for a group picture
Conspiracy theories are already circulating. “It’s because of the cones,” claims Mishy Mop, CEO of Bucket Enterprises. “He over ordered them, and to recover from excess stock, he is manipulating the market. By
raising the price for cups (with no apparent difference in size), he forces the public to buy cones.”
“He’s scared of the health department...”
Others have a more sinister approach. “He’s scared of the health department,” accuses Gabrielle Croissant , Director of Laundry Foldings. “There have already been rumors that the oil used for deep frying has been in that machine since last year. Word on the grape vine is that
the cups ordered by Akiva’s Bagels Pty. Ltd. are of a cheaper, more unsanitary quality. If he raises the price, less people buy, which reduces the chances of being noticed by health regulators.” Were this to be the case, the move has backfired sensationally, with the CCCC swooping in just days after the price change. As to the true reason behind the price hike, time will tell, with the inquiry expected to take a number of weeks. The owner of Akiva’s Bagels, who wishes to remain anonymous, was unavailable to comment. By KG2 and KG1