sharon@ceosofrva.com
Editor-At-Large
Diane Williams
diane@ceosofrva.com
Content Editor
Chaya Braxton
chaya@ceosofrva.com
Copy Editor
Ashley Hewlett
ashley@ceosofrva.com
Photo Director Project Manager
Jadien R. Jones
jadien@ceosofrva.com
Editorial Assistant Staff Writer Brand Manager Operations Administrator
Jennifer Drummond Eric Mohta Natalie Munford
CEO MAGAZIN
Sharon & Robert Oliver
Publishers
jennifer@ceosofrva.com eric@ceosofrva.com nataliem@ceosofrva.com
To receive a digital copy of CEO Magazine, visit www.ceosofrva.com Questions and Feedback: 715 E. 4th Street, Suite 34 Richmond, VA 23224 Credits/Corrections/Disclaimer: Front cover credit: Hayes & Fisk Photography. Stylist & Makeup credit: Lou Stevens’ Glam Squad. Lead Designer: Ervin Ellins. Ad Designer: Adrian Taylor. CEO Magazine (CEO) is free bi-monthly publication that is published by CEO Magazine, LLC. All correspondence and/or information for reprint/e-print permission contact CEO Magazine at 715 E. 4th Street, Richmond, VA 23224, via phone at 804-277-4409 or email your request to editor@ceosofrva. com. CEO Magazine is available at Martin’s supermarkets and other various locations in the Metropolitan Richmond area (see www.ceosofrva.com for a complete list). Distribution of CEO Magazine does not constitute an endorsement of information, services, or products. We reserve the right to deny any type of listing or advertisement that fails to meet CEO’s requirements. CEO strives to publish accurate information at all times, however, we cannot be held liable for opinions expressed or for typographical errors (articles or advertisement). All feedback should be emailed to editor@ceosofrva.com. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission from the Publisher is prohibited. Corrections July 2015 article, “Conversing with Elephant” a typographical error of author’s name. Correction: Terricinia St. Clair. August 2015 article, “Tips & Tricks for Back to School Shopping” & “CEO Class of 2015” author and stylist name was omitted. Correction: Written and styled by Aloma. www.ceosofrva.com
CEO MAGAZIN
Inside Inside
CEO’s 2015 November/December Issue Will be an Exclusive Digital Only Release. We are under construction to perfect our new layout design for the upcoming year. Subscribers will receive their digital copy days before the official release. Subscribe at www.ceosofrva.com and experience our Journey to Gratitude in the next issue. CEO Magazine Will Go Quarterly in 2016! January 2016 Feature: “Women Who Do It All” – We love celebrating women who wear many titles (mom, sister, entrepreneur, executive, etc.) and embody CEO’s core values. Nominate a woman or yourself by completing an entry at ceosofrva.com (Get Featured section) or send us an email at editor@ceosofrva. com. We look forward to receiving your entries.
New
What’s
Emjay C.
on the Blog?
“Do you know what your clothes
are saying about you?”
Nicole D. Scott
“Can’t believe that you turned 40?
Let Nicole enlighten you.”
Marcy Williams
“360 Live…Marcy reports on Euphoria:
The Ultimate Ladies Night Out Experience.”
Carol Melim
Claire Hollingsworth
“Looking for a delicious new dish? Try Carol’s Caprese Skillet Casserole.” “Watch Chef Claire’s Rachel Ray Kids Cook-Off video entry” www.ceosofrva.com
Dear Friends, This month, I cannot tell you how super excited our team is about our September issue, Unmasked. Unmasked is simply defined as the removal of a mask and the disclosure of one’s true character. Being masked can come in many forms, such as the fear of public speaking, the fear of failure, overeating, depression, the shame of having a sexually transmitted disease, obsessive disorders, and/or excessive retail therapy—to name a few. It is my hope that you will use this issue to reflect on the things that trouble you the most. It is my hope that you will be challenged to do the work that is necessary to unmask.
for disaster. By this, I mean that I was afraid to network, to introduce myself and/or to allow others to see the real me. As the mask of shyness and fear of public speaking continued to become tighter, I became even more paralyzed by talking to individuals or groups. I started to feel like my dream of helping other women was diminishing…quickly. As my fear deepened, I found security in gelato desserts. This creamy caramel surprise became my comfort food and in less than 10 months, my dress size went up two sizes. Then I became even more self conscious of my weight as family and friends kept reminding me, gently, of my weight gain. My first step to unmasking was to seek assistance from others who were networking gurus. I was truthful with them and said, “I need help…my fear is causing me not to fulfill my dreams.” It has not been easy, but I remind myself that my passion is bigger than my fears. Next, I contacted personal trainer, Vernon Dozier, to help with the weight and trust me, he does not allow gelato (LOL).
Since I am encouraging you, I want to be the first to unmask. The mask that I hide behind every day is shyness and my recent weight gain. When I first launched CEO Magazine, I realized quickly that being shy was a recipe
Enjoy the powerful testimony of Glam Squad owner, Lou Stevens. Ms. Stevens has dealt with some of life’s toughest challenges and she has used her unmasking to tell women how to overcome barriers and to live a purpose filled life. I would love to hear your success stories of how September’s issue has helped during your unmasking process. Remember, all you have to do is ask or seek help. Don’t miss out on your purpose or happiness in life because you refuse to remove your MASK.
CHIEF EXECUTIVE OF YOUR LIFE CEO Magazine (CEO) is a unique, bi-monthly print and digital publication launched to empower, support, and recognize phenomenal women. We spotlight women who are doing it all’ in their communities as well as in their careers. We cover beauty and fashion, business, human interest, culture,wellness,and relationships,among other topics. OUR PHILOSOPHY We believe that every woman is a CEO or CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER of her life, both personally and professionally. She embraces life's challenges and inspires others to be their best and live their best. A C E O w o m a n w e a r s m a n y h a t s i n c l u d i n g. m o t h e r , w i f e , a u n t , s i s t e r , professional, business owner, volunteer, and friend, and we celebrate the different roles in her life. OUR MISSION Our mission is to inspire women of all ages. Our desire is to empower women to live their best lives with no reservations or regrets. We challenge our readers to become the best version of themselves and encourage them to embrace their strength and purpose in life.
AlexanKelly St.Chris Claire Kelly St. Claire
Chris Alexandria
Age: 48 City: Richmond, VA Hats: Founder & CEO of Cast a Spark, Mom of two, Holistic Life/Beauty Coach, Beauty Stylist, Teacher, &Vibrational and Certified Crystal Healer How She Balances: It is sometimes a struggle, but when I start to feel overwhelmed, I come back to my center and move my body in some way that relieves the stress. I practice gratitude--that is important.
Age: 55 City: Chincoteague, VA Hats: Mom of three beautiful adult children and all that entails, chauffeur, nurse, counselor, chef, confidant, coach, designer of all Angel Chatter products, and author of two books. How She Balances: Not easily at times! When I begin to feel overwhelmed, I close my eyes, place my hands over my heart and breathe for about five minutes. It calms my mind, and I can begin anew once more.
Tonya Friend LaFarn Burton Tonya Friend
LaFarn Burton
Age: 47 City: Petersburg, VA Hats: Mother of three; wife; YaYa of three (grandmother); Pastor’s wife, mentor & minister. How She Balances: I am still learning to juggle the many hats I wear. I challenge myself to be open to those changes and be willing to reorder and balance my life as necessary. By learning what is priority in my life, I am learning the value of balance one day at a time.
Age: 65 City: Richmond, VA Hats: CEO of LB Beauty Academy, Dean of LB Beauty Education Foundation, Founder, President, and mentor to six business owners How She Balances: God’s favor, great organization skills, love for education, love for community
www.ceosofrva.com
2015 Remarkable Woman of the Year Join us as we present the 2015 Remarkable Woman of the Year Award at the "Delivering Remarkable Value POWER Lunch" to Toni R. Ardabell, Chief ÝiVÕÌ Ûi "vwViÀ -iV ÕÀÃ , V `°
The conference features focused training sessions, panel discussions and keynote presentations from experienced leaders with content focused on leadership development and “knowing your value”.
30% OFF
Ü i LÕÃ iÃÃÃÕ Ì°V 1Ãi «À V `i "Îä Ü i Þ Õ Ài} ÃÌiÀ°
by Carol Lou Sweet Potato Pumpkin Soup is perfect for a main dish, elegant enough for a dinner party or festive to serve at a football tailgate with grilled brats. You can make this soup ahead and refrigerate for days prior to serving or freeze and reheat whenever you are ready to serve. Reheat soup over low heat, stirring it often. I like to garnish the soup with a dollop of sour cream, fresh herbs and pepitas. Pepita is a Spanish culinary term for the pumpkin seed. Pepitas can be eaten as a snack, added to salad for a little crunch, or used as a garnish. Pumpkin seeds contain healthy fats, protein, fiber, potassium, iron and zinc. I think they are the perfect garnish for this soup.
Fall is the perfect time for wonderful soup and stew recipes
Ingredients Recipe • 3 large sweet potatoes or yams • 1 tablespoon butter • 2 tablespoons minced red onion • 1 15 oz. can pumpkin puree • 8 cups chicken broth • 1/2 cup natural smooth creamy peanut butter • 2 teaspoons coarse grain mustard • ½ teaspoon grated nutmeg • 1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (you can increase amount if you like a bit more “heat”) • Salt and pepper, to taste • Sour cream (optional) • Minced herbs • Pepitas Recipe Preheat oven to 400 degrees, wash sweet potatoes, dry and prick skin with a fork. Place on a foil lined baking sheet and bake for 30-40 minutes until tender. Remove from the oven, let cool slightly. Remove skins and mash pulp; set aside. In a large stock pot over medium low heat, add butter and sauté onion until transparent. Add 4 cups of chicken broth. Stir in pumpkin puree and peanut butter. Add remaining 4 cups of chicken broth. Bring to a boil and reduce heat to low. Stir in mashed sweet potatoes, mustard, nutmeg, red pepper flakes, and salt and pepper. Cover over low heat for 40 minutes, stirring frequently. Serve with a dollop of sour cream, minced herbs and pepitas, if desired. www.ceosofrva.com
“How many things do I get to tell you are behind a mask?” joked a spirited Lou Stevens. The 50year-old petite CEO was pretty in pink and black. She had an edgy pixie haircut and her make-up was boldly flawless--I expected nothing less from a seasoned stylist. Where some people might shy away from answering very difficult questions, Lou is candid and upfront. She is the owner of Lou Stevens Glam Squad, a crew of 21 stylists who specialize in hair and make-up artistry for weddings around the country. Lou has been styling brides for over 25 years. Many of Virginia’s wedding professionals have described Lou Stevens’ Glam Squad as a business that has set the tone for bridal stylists in the industry. Her team of stylists will work over 300 weddings this year. Lou has plans to increase her visibility around the country and grow her team. To book Lou, there is a premium for her services; however, you can hire any of the stylists at a very competitive rate for your wedding day styling. We met in her exclusive studio on Broad Street in Richmond, VA. I sat on the white rhinestonestudded ottoman against the wall and Lou took a seat in one of her white salon chairs. After we broke the ice, and began the interview, Lou looks down and lets out a deep sigh, as if to say: ‘You are about to see me, here I am.’ She began to tell her story of depression, betrayal, infidelity, enterprise and triumph. “From the beginning, I was one of those women who was sexually abused as a child by someone in my neighborhood. That starts you off by not feeling valued. I didn’t feel like I fit in.” 10
Lou was b o r n i n t h e L a k e M i c h i g a n City of Kenosha, Wisconsin. She was a quiet and lonely child. During the summer of her abusive experience, Lou began to gain weight that she kept on for most of her adult life. However, she used hair and make-up to hide behind her insecurities and feelings of low self-worth. “You couldn’t tell me different. Just because I was big didn’t mean anything. I was pretty EVERYWHERE I went,” giggled Lou. Ironically, the mask of beauty gave her a renewed life. Her love of make-up, fashion and style inspired the dream of owning her own business. Every day she walked home from school and passed a barber shop with one chair. Lou knew one day she would make her dream a reality and open her own shop as a stylist. Soon, her traumatic childhood experience took a backseat—until she got married. “I didn’t think much of myself, and so I married people who didn’t think much of me either.” When Lou turned 20, she married the first sailor to come to town; they had two kids, now 27 and 25. Her family relocated to Richmond for his job. Meanwhile, Lou had no family in Richmond but managed to raise her kids and eventually build her business. Lou worked for different hair studios until she decided to step out on her own as a mobile stylist specializing in wedding hair and make-up. Unbeknownst to Lou, her husband was having an affair with her friend, which ultimately devastated their marriage. A very public divorce would
1
First, admit that there is a problem. This is the first step to getting help. Seeking a therapist is not a sign of weakness. Instead, it is a sign of strength and empowerment. Everyone needs help sometimes.
Make a list of potential therapists. Ask your friends for a referral. Visit websites like www.psychologytoday.com. Click on the tab Find a Therapist to begin your search. Most health insurance companies have an online network that will allow you to search for therapists according to your location and/or their specialization. If you don’t have insurance and have Medicaid or Medicare, contact the mental health provider located on the back of your healthcare card. If you have no health insurance, call local churches. Sometimes they are affiliated with other organizations that can offer free or income-based counseling.
2
follow. “We all went to church together, the kids too. It dragged on for a year, and I had to find another church to attend.” Meanwhile, as Lou’s Glam Squad business was booming, things were falling apart at home. “Without giving myself time to heal, I jumped straight into another marriage. I didn’t find out how verbally abusive my second husband was until after I married him. And it was the same thing all over again. I should have seen the red flags after I found out what happened with his first wife.” Lou has been divorced from her second husband for 2 ½ years. “Two marriages and two divorces later, I hit my lowest of the low when I became suicidal 4 to 5 years ago…I came to the end of myself,” said Lou candidly. Her daughter was there to help her get through those times when she cried all day and couldn’t get out of bed. Once she began a regimen of anti-depressants, glimmers of hope would start to shine through.
Journaling helped Lou overcome her deep depression. “My beginning entries were short,” explained Lou. ‘Thank you God, I smiled today’ because I hadn’t smiled in a long time or ‘Thank you God, I used the treadmill today’ because I hadn’t worked out in 6 months. Over time Lou was able to see that her entries became longer. She was getting better. “I stopped taking the medicine because I didn’t feel like myself,” said Lou. What really inspired Lou to begin her healing process was opening a book written by a Christian politician who admitted to being suicidal as well. This is when she realized that she wasn’t the only one. It gave her the courage to begin talking about her issues. Lou read the book that Oprah and her trainer authored. She lost 120 lbs in the process of letting go of some of her past pain and changing her eating. Our conversation was refreshing, honest, and towards the end, Lou shared, “Being beautiful doesn’t mean anything. Someone cheated on Beyoncé.” When asked, ‘How
do you come back from someone cheating on you?’ Lou answers: “I don’t know. I will have to tell you later. I’m single. I am still going through that. Life is a never ending journey and God reveals new things to me every day.” Despite the pain infidelity has caused her, Lou is open to settling down again. “Until then,” she says, “I will keep my heart devoted to the man in the sky.” Lou has come so far from those dark times. Recently, Lou was voted Richmond’s “Hometown Hero” for her dedicated work with single mothers and survivors of domestic abuse. Lou also has a series called “Glam & Grace” where she travels and speaks to various groups about the lessons and triumphs of her journey. “When I share my story, I know that the old me is sitting in the room listening somewhere,” confesses Lou. Today, I was the one listening. Lou stands up and walks over to me. We take selfies in the front of her studio logo and hug goodbye. “See you soon, beautiful,” she says. ■
3
Give your therapist a three session trial before you make a decision on whether or not it is a good fit. If this is a good fit – awesome! If this is not a good fit, then return to the first step and try to find another therapist.
Be honest about your presenting problem. The presenting problem is what brought you into therapy. For example, the presenting problem may be your difficulty coping with a relationship ending or a break up. However, this may not be your underlying issue of abandonment, low self-worth or rejection. Be honest anyway.
4
Do the work. Complete your therapeutic homework. These are the assignments your therapist gives you in between visits. You have to work through your process no matter how hard it may be. You may cry or get frustrated. In order to get better, you must be committed to following the action plan that you and your therapist have created together.
5 6
Be realistic about your progress. It is more than likely that whatever caused you to seek help did not develop overnight. The road to healing takes time and patience. Be good to yourself. By Ebony Speakes-Hall, LSW, MISSA www.ceosofrva.com
11
T 12
Test
The Belly Laugh Take One Daily
Identity Test:
Who are You Behind the Mask? Have you ever felt like you were living your life behind a mask? We have the tendency to put on masks that show others who we think we should be instead of showing who we really are. Masks can be used to cover pain, hurt, insecurity, and fear. We eventually have to peel off our masks and deal with the issue(s). Normally, masks are used when we do not feel safe. They are used when we feel as though we must be strong, need to prove something, are not self-aware or when we feel as though our true selves will not be accepted. Women especially use masks to show that they do not need help. For me, this stems back to the strong women in my life who “taught” me to be self-sufficient, self-reliant, self-supporting, and successful. There is nothing wrong with striving for success, but sometimes this mentality will leave you alone, fighting battles on your own without accepting or asking for help. I know the feelings and problems behind taking off “the mask” which include the fear of being hurt and rejected, feeling
inadequate or appearing weak and vulnerable. Unmasking begins with an inner transformation process that involves the healing and self-awareness of your spirit, mind, body, and soul. I am not suggesting you unmask with anyone or anywhere today. I would like to encourage each of us to be superwoman when necessary, but be open to creating opportunities to take off our mask(s). Behind every mask is a little girl who still desires help, encouragement, love, a safe place to be authentic, and an opportunity to breathe. Start to breathe, one day at a time; before you know it, you will be UNMASKED and like me, be free to be authentically you. Johnnie Lloyd is the founder and CEO of JB Lloyd and Associates providing mentoring, coaching, change management and leadership training to senior level executives and organizations. For more information, visit www.Johnnielloyd.com or email:jblloydandassociates@gmail.com
By Johnnie Lloyd
We are all living busy lives and experience stress on some level or another. Stress is not only accompanied by negative hormones but beneficial ones too. All of us get stressed, that’s nothing new. However, at times it can be difficult to handle. “From my standpoint as a cardiologist, when I look at stress, I really look at our bodies - what is our physiological response to a situation,” said Phillip B. Duncan, MD, a private practice cardiologist at Heart Care for You. Research shows individuals experience stress differently. It is when someone experiences stress chronically that it becomes a problem, explained Dr. Duncan.
For more information about women and heart disease, Dr. Duncan suggests visiting: healthyheartsforwomen.com By Jennifer M. Drummond
One way to release those hormones that are good for the body is through a belly laugh encourages Dr. Duncan. “It’s not just the belly laugh. It’s the spirit of the belly laugh that goes along with it.” Belly laughs do a lot of good for our body: relax blood vessels and produce substances that increase our feeling of wellbeing. The next time you are offered a detailed explanation on why your upside-down cake was less than perfect, watch that unbelievable cat video on the web, or hear a naughty joke from a close friend, it is actually relieving stress. Although stress is a part of our everyday lives, it doesn’t always have to be negative — especially when you can include a simple, yet helpful belly laugh.
Dr. Phillip B. Duncan is the Medical Director of Cardiac Health Management Network, PC, Former Director of HCA Advanced Heart Failure Clinic, and Operations Medical Director for Honeywell Chesterfield and Hopewell Campuses. He is board certified in Internal Medicine, Cardiovascular Diseases, Cardiac Rhythm Device Therapy, and Nuclear Cardiology. In 2001, he earned his Certificate of Education on the Protection of Human Subjects. www.ceosofrva.com
13
A Day at Cala Morisca Beach I take the last week of each month to ensure that I have time for relaxation and rejuvenation. On a particularly humid Monday, a handsome Spaniard (my husband, Carlos) and I escaped to Spain’s Costa Daurada to spend the afternoon at one of our favorite beaches, Cala Morisca. About an hour outside of Barcelona, this cozy enclave is the perfect place to indulge in Mediterranean Sea baths and soak up plenty of sun. I share a few shots with the hope that it will remind you to carve out some time for yourself to relax and unwind. by: Erica Duncan
Vernon Dozier 1FSTPOBM 'JUOFTT 5SBJOFS
$06354*%& 8&45 (BTLJOT 3E 3JDINPOE 7" 888 $06354*%&8&45 $0.
Follow Jadien Jones
on his journey to Health 2 Fit! visit www.ceosofrva.com and click on
#onmyway
14
As a therapist and friend, I have counseled dozens of women involved with married men. It was easy for me to think: “Why would anyone settle for this?” until I realized that everyone has different values. Without judgment, I used a cost benefit approach to pose a different question: “If women knew what they stood to lose and/or gain by being with him, would they stay?” In my years of experience, I have learned that it is critical to manage expectations of any situation, especially if that situation has the potential to yield a risky and unexpected outcome. By no means is this an outward affirmation and/or disapproval of the “other woman.” Instead, it is a discussion that explores the trade-offs she may encounter if she stays in her relationship.
Identity:
If involved with a married man, are you willing to risk being known as someone’s mistress? Are you comfortable with your relationship being discovered? How will this new identity impact your career and/or home life? If you are hiding, how does this impact your individual authenticity? Can you continue to be yourself around others?
Your Community:
Are you comfortable leveraging intimacy with family and friends who do not approve of your relationship? Or have you thought about what it would look like to integrate your relationship and community?
Time: Will you get your return in invest-
ment for the time you have invested in this relationship? If he is married, are you expecting that he will divorce his wife and marry you? Are you prepared for the reality that he may choose you in the end? In a 2013 poll conducted by The Normal Bar, an extensive survey on romantic relationships, the majority of men said they would not leave their marriages. Additionally, it was also reported that 50% of all marriages survive infidelity (2013).
Health & Sustainability:
Are you willing to expose yourself to the increased possibility of contracting a sexually transmitted disease? What about the possibility of pregnancy? Would that child be a secret if you chose to carry out your pregnancy? If a woman is comfortable with possible outcomes associated with engaging in an extramarital affair, then maybe there is no cost to her—at all. However, if it is difficult to navigate these realties, then perhaps the price is far too high. If so, she should not be afraid to seek support to pursue other options. References The Normal Bar, “Why People Cheat: The ‘Normal bar’ Reveals Infidelity Causes.” 2013. http://www.thenormalbar.com/media Ebony Speakes-Hall is a licensed social worker and licensed and ordained minister. She lives in Dayton, Ohio with her husband and their son.
Dear Ms. Corrine, I was in an uncontrollable and dramatic 11year relationship with my child’s father who would engage in infidelities while we were together. We ended after the woman he was cheating on me with became pregnant. She began stalking me on various social media sites, driving by my home, and even calling me. As you can imagine, we are NOT friends. Years later, their marriage has hit the skids (rolling on flats) due to once again, him cheating. She now calls me three times a week, never asking about my son, her stepson, who lives with me but visits them from time to time. She only wants to talk about her failed marriage. Ms. Corrine, am I stupid for answering her phone calls or should I continue to reach out for the sake of the children? Sincerely, No Hugs for Her
Dear No Hugs for Her, As a mother, I encourage you to continue to reach out for the sake of your children. However, I would make it clear that you are not HER marriage counselor. You are only on the phone to discuss what is in the best interest of the children. My great, great, great grandmother always said, “How you get a man is how you lose a man!” Obviously, this still holds true today because her marriage has really hit the skids and she needs “AAA” baby! PS: I love your forgiving spirit. Ms. Corrine www.ceosofrva.com
15
16