Issuu

5 steps

TO SELF LOVE & POWER COUPLE GOALS

6 TIPS

for Keeping Romance Alive

REALITY STAR

Courtney Larisa &

Terrance

On Love & Marriage

Singles & Couples

TALK LOVE

CONTENTS APRIL 2020

LAUREN QUIRKE - The Real Deal with relationships in 2020

ALANA HUNNICUTT - When Love Is C.U.R.E.S.”

JAE & CJ

JASPER MOORE

RENA & LAURENCE

DANA WILLIAMS

JESSICA ALLEN - Creative Ideas

DEIDRE & JUAN’YA KRIS FULLER - 6 Tips for Keeping Romance Alive

18 20

KRIS FULLER - 5 Ways to Love Yourself While in a Relationship 21 CANDY WASHINGTON How to Turn Self-Love into Power Couple Goals 22 JACKIE B. 26 OLEATHIA & TERRANCE

COURTNEY & TERRANCE

KRISTEN HANEY Iris Enterprises,Phoenix Wellness Programs 34

10 JAE & CJ

RENATA LACEY

IN MEMORIES OF KOBE BRYANT

MONIQUE & TONY

RENA & LAURENCE

12 JASPER MOORE

26 JACKIE B.

06 ALANA HUNNICUTTCARROLL

Founder – Cece Hymes

W.I.B (Where It Begins) is an Independent agency with the aim to always be innovate in each approach taken to projects and making sure excellence is given in a projects execution when it comes to media marketing, branding, networking and management.

DEIDRE & JUAN’YA

Founded by the well experienced and ever growing force; D.C native - Cece Hymes, the most important and integral aspect of W.I.B is that branding for both Creatives and Businesses is taken to the next level with each and every project undertaken. We’ve continued to represent a very diverse and well acclaimed roster of emerging talents in the entertainment, and businesses! With a determined persistence for continued excellence, our Founder – Cece Hymes, with a college Degree in Business Management, has also worked within radio and with many companies such as: RDE Entertainment, H.I.G.H Entertainment and Caribbean Gospel Records Ltd.,

“....A kidney transplant is a treatment, but it was my husband’s love that cured me. I can humbly and proudly say we are a match in more ways than one. “

WHEN LOVE IS C.U.R.E.S.” By Alana Hunnicutt - Carroll

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lana has lived with kidney disease for 25 years. She is a two-time kidney transplant recipient, when her first transplanted kidney of 10 years failed, Alana was devastated, scared, depressed, and angry all at the same time. She knew dialysis was sure to come next and life as she knew it had drastically changed. Alana found her time on dialysis to be one of the most difficult times in her life. She understood that she needed this treatment to stay alive while she eagerly awaited a new kidney, but she was frustrated because she could no longer live life on her own terms. Alana stated “I am a very independent person, free spirited, and full of life. While in kidney failure, and survival mode, I found it difficult to be who I’ve always been... independent, free spirited, and full of life.” “I knew that I wanted a kidney transplant as soon as possible to get back to me.”

Reginald, Alana’s husband would ultimately be her living kidney donor, but the process was certainly not be a smooth one. “I knew my wife suffered from kidney disease, and when the time came, I knew that I wanted to donate to her.” “What I didn’t know was the rollercoaster ride it would take us on.” Reginald got the work up done to see if he was a match to donate to his wife Alana. To their pleasant surprise, Reggie in-fact was a match and Alana had no antibodies against Reggie’s blood which meant she likely would not reject the kidney when transplanted! Even more surprisingly, Reggie was an even better match than Alana’s first living donor her biological brother. This is the true meaning of “the perfect match” literally. Once you get past the initial workup, and are a match, the potential donor must get more extensive testing done one being and image of both kidneys to figure out the kidney that would be removed for donation. That’s when it was discovered that Reginald had kidney stones and was denied to donate to Alana. They were immediately deflated with disappointment, fear, and uncertainty. “This devastating news stopped us in our tracks, we were so close but so far away.” “Just seeing what my wife was going through, I knew that I’d stop at nothing to donate my kidney to her. After I was denied twice from to different medical institutions for the same reason, I didn’t know how I would get my wife healthy again, but I knew I was going to do something. I refused to have my wife’s suffering be long lived.

Alana & Reginald Q. How did you and your spouse meet? A. We met each other 22 years ago from a blind double date. My best friend at the time and my wife’s cousin were dating. You know when you’re young you want to hang out with your best friend and closets cousin all the time, so it was common to double date. They decided we should all hang out and my wife and I have been inseparable since the day we met. Q. What made you realize that this was the person you wanted to marry, and this was the one you wanted to be with for the rest of your life? A. We know it may sound cliché, but it was love at first sight. We are soul mates, we literally connected from the day we laid eyes on one another. We just felt natural, safe, and organic around each other. Nothing felt forced, we felt at home in each

I needed to be the strength for both of us and even more for her, so I got into the mind state of love is Compassionate. Uplifting. Resilient. Empathetic. Supportive. Love c.u.r.e.s.! My wife and I put our heads together and I decided that I would have my stones physically removed from my urologist and change my diet, my diet is was caused my kidney stones. After getting the kidney stones removed, we went back to the kidney board of the last hospital that denied me and we were approved!”

one’s presence. We realized we wanted to marry each other when we couldn’t imagine life without the other. We felt a bond that was deeper than either of us could comprehend, but we knew we’d spend a lifetime together trying to figure this bond, this love out and use it to be of service to others. Q. What was one of the hardest experiences that you and your spouse had to go through? How did it make the relationship stronger? A. Being married for 18 years, as you can imagine, we’ve had our fair share of rides on the emotional rollercoaster. There are two experiences that standout as the hardest experiences we’ve gone through. The first being the birth of our first child together, our son who was born a micro preemie weighing 1lb 4.6oz at birth with a 4-month hospital stay. Every day was touch and go and we were told many times he wouldn’t survive pass the night. We were told if he did survive, he wouldn’t have much of a quality of life. We fed into the mind set of modern medicine for a second, but then we decided to lean on our faith especially during a time where

Alana and Reggie were transplanted on September 26, 2016. They are both doing amazing and welcomed and happy and healthy baby girl into the world October 2018. Alana and Reggie are passionate about spreading their love c.u.r.e.s. mission around the world, they travel monthly as keynote speakers to spread the word on living donation while sharing their personal journey to encourage self-advocacy, educate, and encourage potential donors and kidney warriors.

we were so emotionally depleted. I’m happy we leaned on our faith and didn’t lose our minds because we have a happy, healthy, and thriving 18-year-old that beat the odds. Another experience that was hard on us is when I had kidney failure and ended up on dialysis. That was a very low time in our lives going through this health crisis. My selfless husband decided to be my kidney donor to save my life. If everyone knew the hoops my husband had to go through to donate to me, you’d clearly understand how deep his love runs. We’ll have to share the details of that journey at another time. Who knew we’d even be a match? A kidney transplant is a treatment, but it was my husband’s love that cured me. I can humbly and proudly say we are a match in more ways than one.

Q. Describe the love, the passion that you have for your spouse? A. My love is boundless for my wife, there is literally nothing I wouldn’t do for her. I gave her a kidney, an organ, a whole-body part and I would do it again if I could, but I need at least one of my kidneys to stay alive lol. Seriously though, my wife really

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6 Tips for Keeping Romance Alive By Kris Fuller

eeping romance alive can be simple and fun! When I talk with couples about their romance

slipping away, I like to review some of the simple things that can bring it back. Daily care, small actions of love, these are the heart of the romance. Sometimes we let the stress of ‘grand gestures’ overwhelm us. Keep it simple with these six tips:

1. Take turns planning dates. This way one partner isn’t doing

all the planning and organizing. It’s nice to have someone take care of all the decisions and details!

2. Show your appreciation every day. Ask yourself: ‘What

can I do to celebrate my partner today?’ Those little words, compliments, kindness- they can go a long way. Smile when you see your partner! Every day share your beautiful smile with them.

3. Surprise your partner.

Small surprises can impact your daythis can be a note in a lunch, a video text or sweet voice message. Something small, but that you don’t often do. It shows that you care, and it will make your partner smile.

4. Plan a ‘Just Us’ time. Choose a night of the week and commit to

it. Even if it’s a night in, spend it together on the couch- talk about why you love each other and celebrate the relationship you have. Remember what sparked your love! Talk about your memories and good times.

5. Mix things up.

Routines are par for the course in a long-term relationship. Try a new restaurant, take a class together, do an activity you haven’t tried before. Check out ‘Things to Do’ in your local area and just go for it! Even if something is not as you expected, it could end up be a fond memory and that’s what life is built on.

6. 60 second hugs!

I love these so much. Just silently hug for 60 seconds and notice how good it feels. Your bodies connect and you feel that love and safety in your connection. As the hug goes on, you allow yourself to ‘just breath’ BUT doing this with your partner can be so effective. And it only takes ONE MINUTE.

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5 WAYS

Love Yourself While In A Relationship

3. See what Others See in You When you describe a best friend, how easy is it to go on and on about how wonderful they are? Or talking about how amazing your partner is. Imagine if you could do that for yourself! That is key. Hold on to compliments, believe the beautiful things others say about you. You mean the world to your people in your circle. Embrace it and believe it. I

4. Allow Yourself to Be Human. 1. You Own Your Happiness Only you can do that! Your partner can enhance the happiness that you nurture in yourself, but it is not their job to make you happy. If you rely on them for happiness it becomes a burden. Make sure you take the responsibility yourself. It starts with adopting a mindset that happiness is a choice, meaning you give yourself the power to create happiness for yourself. I The only person you can change is you. Let gratitude enter your heart and mind and choose happiness now.

2. Independence is important Keep your own activities and your own friends. Spend a healthy time apart doing your own thing. It’s unhealthy to let your relationship absorb your identity - you both matter as individuals and a little space is great.

We all have our flaws. Some things can be ignored; others might be something you want to work on. Either way, don’t let it get you down or get in the way of self-love. Recognizing flaws is a natural part of a relationship; it doesn’t mean you are a terrible person or that you are unlovable, it just means that you are human.

5.Love is an Action Decide to act in a self-loving way. Make time to nurture yourself and fulfill your own needs. Make sure you are getting time for you every day. This can be simple activities, like morning meditation, going the yoga, reading or enjoying a cup of coffee. Be mindful about it- if you let these moments or activities slip away without recognizing ‘this is for me and I am important’, then the benefits will add up.

Hugs from Kris Fuller, B.Ed., B.MM Kris Fuller is the founder and CEO of

Your Life Sparkles.

Her background is in Metaphysical Ministry (University of Sedona), Mindfulness (Palouse Centre for Mindfulness) and Education (University of Alberta). You can follow her blog at www.yourlifesparkles.com Follow Your Life Sparkles on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. @yourlifesparkles #yourlifesparkles

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How to Turn

Self - Love Into Power Couple Goals By Candy Washington

et’s face it, you can’t have a love issue without first talking about self-love, and I say this from my own personal experience. I started my journey to self-love and self-discovery after a string of intermittent and non-committal relationships with men that weren’t in a place to be a true partner to me. But from these experiences I was able to glean life lessons that have led me to live a fuller and more joyful life. They also led me into being in a healthy, loving, happy, secure, and grounded relationship with a wonderful man. It is my hope that these insights do the same for you.

But let’s start from the beginning. Here I was, an accomplished entrepreneur who founded her own media company, a published author with three books under her belt, an international podcast host, a Georgetown Alumnae, and a financially secure woman, that was choosing to date men that were either emotionally unavailable or financially unstable, and oftentimes both. The turning point for me was when the guy that I was dating at the time called me ‘selfish and self-centered’ because I was proud of my accomplishments and was sharing my future professional goals with him. Mind you, he didn’t have a steady job, his own car, or his own place to stay, but he had the audacity to belittle and dismiss me for my career achievements. It was gaslighting at its finest. Something in me snapped and I decided at that point that I had enough of not being loved, valued, appreciated, and respected in my relationships. I decided that I was done with being emotionally abused. I knew that I had to do things differently in order to find the love that I truly deserved. So, this time around, instead of looking at the men and shaking my finger at everything that was wrong with them, I took that same finger and pointed at myself to see why I was choosing men that were like them. I had to get brutally honest with myself and look inward instead of placing the blame outward. I had to look in the mirror and ask, “What do I need to work on and heal within myself in order to attract a man that not only truly loves me, but was also truly worthy of my love?” The truth was, I didn’t know. So, I set out on a personal journey of self-discovery to find out and below are the key steps that I took on my road to self-love.

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5 Steps to Self-Love and Power Couple Goals

1. I went to therapy

Although I love my friends and family, I knew that I needed an objective and professional person in my life that could guide me in my journey to self-love and self-discovery. I found a therapist that I trusted and started going weekly to unpack not only my current state-of-being, but also my childhood and past experiences that shaped the way I see and move within the world. I had to tap into my own subconscious beliefs and patterns that were dictating my life choices and that were ultimately sabotaging my love life. It wasn’t always easy or pretty. In fact, it was painful, hard, and challenging to really dig deep into myself and my past to see what was driving me on the soul-level. I can’t promise you that there won’t be times when you want to quit, but I can promise you it will be worth it because on the other side of the grit and the fear, is true freedom. The freedom to love yourself for exactly who you are and the freedom to make conscious choices about what you do and do not tolerate in your life because you know and believe that you are enough. Power Couple Goal: Seek support and counseling before you need it and when you need it. Going to therapy when things are in a good place is a great way to strengthen your relationship so you have the tools to deal with fights, arguments, disagreements, and problems in a healthy way

understanding without judgment. I would speak to myself in a kind and loving way. I would cut myself some slack and not judge myself. I had to learn how to fully embrace and radically accept all of me and allow myself the grace to make mistakes, to be a work-in-progress, and to not have to be perfect. Being both the shadow and light didn’t mean that I wasn’t worthy of love. It didn’t mean that I was broken, damaged, or flawed. It didn’t mean that I was lacking. It didn’t mean that I wasn’t enough. It simply meant that I was human.

My highlights: • She’s founded her own company, 1214 Media Productions • She’s published 3 books in under 1 year • She’s currently executive producing a short film, ‘Narcissist,’ that explores the role social media plays in the mental health of young adults • She was featured in LA Style’s Magazine 100 Women in Power Issue • She was the keynote speaker at Wellness on and has spoken at BlushCon, Altitude Summit, and other events • She produces a weekly self-care podcast that was picked up by Fire Media for distribution Link to her Instagram @candywashington

rather than having things escalate to a negative space and then trying to go back and pick-up the pieces. But with, it’s never too late to seek support. So, if things aren’t in a healthy place in your relationship, there is no shame in going to couples counseling to get an outside and professional opinion on how to heal and grow your relationship.

2. I committed to the process

I took a step back from dating and chose to focus on myself in order to fully commit to the process of working on me. To do this, I had to work on my own self-awareness and fully commit to looking at myself in a realistic and authentic way. The key to seeing my own limitations, my own areas of improvement, my own weaknesses, and my own shortcomings, in a way that was healing and not condemning, was to simultaneously hold space for self-love, self-compassion, and self-

Power Couple Goal: Commit to each other and commit to the relationship through both thick and thin. Shift your perspective from, “Are we going to get through this?” to “How are we going to get through this?” When you really commit to making the relationship work, your mindset needs to change to knowing that things aren’t going to be perfect and roses all of the time, but that doesn’t mean that your relationship isn’t strong enough to weather the storm. There will be inevitable down and hard times but your equal commitment to be a team and facing any and all obstacles together will sustain your relationship during the tough times. Also, hold the space for love, compassion, and understanding for your partner. Nobody’s perfect and we all fall short, make mistakes, and have things that we need to work on. Speak to your partner in a kind and loving way and ask the same from your partner. Committing to your relationship is the fundamental decision that will make your relationship stronger after the hard times.

3: I took ownership

I previously mentioned that I took that finger of blame and pointed it at myself, but I want to be clear that it’s not about blaming anyone or about who’s wrong or right, it’s about taking back your power by being accountable and responsible for your own life. As long as I was blaming the ‘no good’ men in my life, I had no power to allow real love into my life because it meant that someone outside of myself was responsible for my happiness and ultimately, my self-worth. The moment I took ownership for the choices that I chose to make and what was going on in my life, I felt empowered. I felt in control and left any feeling of victimhood behind. I forgave myself for any past choices that I made that didn’t serve my highest good. I did the best I could for where I was at in that particular moment and what I needed was self-compassion not selfcondemnation. Taking ownership for who you are is the single most powerful thing you can do for your life. It frees you to choose differently and to truly get what you want and deserve in this world.

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Power Couple Goal: Take ownership for your 50% in the relationship. When things are going well, acknowledge and appreciate yourself for showing up fully and in a positive way for yourself and your partner. Also, acknowledge and appreciate your partner during the good times. Let them know how much you love them when things are going well and not just when you’re trying to get them back on your side after a fight or disagreement. Cultivate your relationship during the good times to build a stronger foundation for the long-term. Additionally, take ownership for your part when things aren’t going well. It takes two to tango, so taking responsibility for your part when things are tough is equally as important as holding your partner accountable for their role as well. Admitting your part is a powerful way to gain trust and security with your partner because they know that gives them permission to do the same. They can be honest about their own shortcomings without the fear of abandonment because you’re being strong enough to be honest about yours.

4. I dated myself

I’ve been single throughout my life, but just because I was single, that didn’t mean that I was honoring being with myself. I had to choose to date myself in an authentic way in order to discover who I was at my core. I had to discover what my likes were, what my dislikes were, what my needs were, what my wants were, what my passions were, what my pet peeves were, and what my desires were. I basically had to start from scratch and really get to know myself. I had to get in tune with my body, mind, spirit, and intuition in order to know myself fully. It was from this place of knowingness that I was able to give myself permission to fully love, accept, and see myself for all that I am. It was through this process that I finally understood unconditional love. It allowed me to love myself intrinsically, for just being who I am, that was enough.

Power Couple Goal:

Never stop dating each other. Never stop striving to know each other at deeper and more

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meaningful levels. Carve out time during the week to spend time together and to go out on dates. Keep the romantic spark alive by checking in with your partner to make sure that their needs are being met and be vocal about what you need to feel loved and desired too. Don’t allow yourself or your partner to get complacent in the relationship. Commit to each other to make putting in the effort to keep the relationship fresh, exciting, and new. Just like the journey to selfdiscovery is lifelong and on-going, the same goes for your relationship. The beauty of a healthy relationship is that every day you get to discover new things about your partner to love and you get to reveal new things about yourself for your partner to love.

5: I implemented a self-care routine

On my journey to self-love and self-discovery, the biggest lifestyle change I had to make was to have a tangible self-care routine in place. I had to learn how to self-soothe during emotionally difficult times and how to create a lifestyle of honoring the unique space that I take up in the world in order to create a life of peace, love, and acceptance. I started meditating, journaling, taking walks in nature, listening to positive podcasts, seeking support from friends and family, and learning how to not take things personally. This also meant creating healthy boundaries with friends, family, and co-workers. It meant taking time just for myself and doing what I needed to do to be healthy and whole. It meant not being afraid of having standards and communicating my wants and needs with others. It meant having my ‘no’ be a ‘no’ and my ‘yes’ by a ‘yes.’ It meant working on healthy and effective communication skills. It meant surrendering to a lifelong process of choosing to fall in love with myself every day and to make my own well-being my first and best priority.

Power Couple Goal:

Have a self-care routine in place for your relationship. This means creating the space to have healthy and constructive conversations with each other instead of fighting to be right, asking for space and time instead of ignoring and ghosting each other, doing fun activities together that bring you closer, and making the time to do things without each other so you’re still cultivating yourself as a healthy and fulfilled individual.

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“...because I was convinced from past experiences that long distance relationships did not work. “

COURTNEY&

Q. How did you and your spouse meet? A. Terrance and I met on a flight from Detroit to San Diego. I was the first-class flight attendant and he was passenger 3B. He stared at me for over 3 hours, so much so that I finally had to ask him about it! Lol. Q. What made you realize that this was the person you wanted to marry, and this was the one you wanted to be with for the rest of your life? A. It took me a while to realize Terrance was “the one” mostly because he lived in Michigan and I lived in Atlanta. I was determined to keep him in the “friend zone” because I was convinced from past experiences that long distance relationships did not work. I realized he was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life when I tore my Achilles tendon and he was there for me. I mean he was literally there with me every single cripple step of the way! Q. What was one of the hardest experiences that you and your spouse had to go through? How did it make the relationship stronger? A. The hardest experience we’ve gone through together would definitely have to be my Achilles injury. I was at the lowest point in my life mentally and was not the most pleasant person to be around. I was an emotional wreck, and through it all Terrance was there, I mean truly and genuinely there for

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me! He literally re-arranged his entire life to be there, he began working remotely from Atlanta so I wouldn’t be alone, he flew back and forth between Michigan and Atlanta weekly, he cleaned the house, cooked the food, washed the clothes, bathed me, and anything else you can think of. Not once did he ever make me feel like an inconvenience, a bother, or the weakest link (even though these were all the things I felt about myself at that time). Throughout everything he was so caring, so compassionate, and just so amazing! I fell in love with the way he loved me! I couldn’t believe that someone could be so selfless and genuine, he showed me a love that I had never

TERRANCE known. If this man could love me like this at my worst, I decided he deserved me at my best! He deserved the absolute best and I was determined to give it to him, the same way he had given his best to me! That’s what made us strong, we created a trust in each other that through it all we we’re committed to getting through whatever TOGETHER. Q. Describe the love, the passion that you have for your spouse? A. The love and passion that I have for Terrance is indescribable to say the least. I truly feel as though I have found my person, I now believe in soulmates because of this man. We are the same person but yet so different, it’s really kind of crazy how much alike we are but we’re nothing alike, lol, I know it doesn’t make sense, but it does. I feel so blessed to have a man that makes me feel so happy, so loved, so appreciated, and so valued. I thank God for him, for us daily! Q. What do you think is the difference between being in a relationship and being married?

A. For us, the biggest difference of being married versus just being in a relationship is trying to merge our lives together into one. I have a home in Atlanta, he has one in Michigan, his work is in Michigan, my work was in Atlanta, but I’ve recently transferred to Detroit. We’ve gone back and forth for a while about what city/state to primarily live in, what to do with my house in Atlanta, etc. It’s been quite an adjustment and we’re still making plans and adjustments along the way, but the one thing I know is that I’ll go anywhere that he goes. He is my home no matter where we end up, it will feel like home as long as we’re together. Q. How long do you think someone should date before they get married? A. I don’t think there’s a set limit on time. I think people need to do what feels right for them. My mom always told me you can know someone for 20 years and never really know who they truly are, so to me time is relative.

Q. Do you think that people need a marriage counselor before marriage? A. I think communication is necessary for any relationship to be successful. If you feel as though you and your partner are not effectively communicating each other’s expectations .thoughts, and ideas regarding the wants and needs inside of your relationship, I think counseling would be a great tool to learn more about each other, techniques, and communication styles that will be effective in your relationship. I think counseling in general is helpful, but I don’t think it the be all, end all, indicator of a healthy relationship. Q. What do you think is the definition of Love? A. To me love is happiness, love is loyalty, love is making a commitment and following through. The definition of love is whatever you define it to be, everyone has a different love language. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but love is in the heart of the receiver Q. Describe what you think a perfect date would be for your spouse? A. Perfect date for Terrance and I would be a quiet night at home on some Netflix and Chill vibes with some incredible take out and a nice bottle of red wine. Q. Give some advice or inspiration for other couples? A. The best advice I can give is to be honest and upfront, about everything, who you are, what you want, what you expect, etc. Be 100% your authentic self so people have a clear view of who they’re in a relationship with. Don’t pretend to share the same interest if you don’t, don’t change who you are to accommodate someone’s lifestyle or image of their mate. You want to be the actual person they fall in love with, that way the love is genuine, the foundation is built on realness. Your foundation is so important to the structure and quality of the life you two are building together.

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