Making Love: A Catholic Vision of Sexuality BY. FR JOEL THOMPSON SJ
“My sheep hear my voice. I know them, and they follow me (John 10:27)”
In a world filled with many voices about sex, relationships, and identity, the Catholic understanding of human sexuality is often misunderstood. Sometimes it is reduced to a list of “don’ts,” or seen as outdated or restrictive. However, what the church offers is a beautiful vision of love that leads to holiness, happiness and healthy relationships. But Father… everyone does it! I remember a group of young people saying that to me one evening after a discussion on relationships. We had discussed that having sex without being married is not a Catholic or Christian thing to do. They were being honest. For them, this was simply what they saw among friends, relatives and on social media. Whether it is sex outside of marriage, “living home”, homosexual activity or other expressions of sexuality, many feel that the Church is asking something unrealistic. This raises a deeper question: since when does “everyone does it” determine what is good? We don’t use that logic elsewhere. Many people lie but truth still matters. Many act unjustly, but justice is still right. In the same way, even if many misunderstand or misuse sexuality, it does not change its meaning. Jesus calls us to something higher: “Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). This is a reminder that our Christian values do not come from our culture but from Christ. My sheep hear my voice…. In our hookup culture where “everyone does it,” many people quietly carry wounds, confusion, and regret. They often realize after broken relationships that they should have waited. We all struggle with lust. Lust is self-focused desire and seeks pleasure without the responsibility of love. Lust views others simply as objects and pulls us to take shortcuts to satisfy ourselves. This is not something that affects only a few, it is part of our human condition. The Church does not only give teaching, but also calls us to conversion, growth, and grace. Before going further, let us summarize the core of the Church’s teaching on sexuality: 1. Every person is called to chastity. This is different from celibacy or abstinence since it includes right sexual intercourse between spouses. It means learning to love rightly, without using others. 2. Sex expresses a total self-gift (All of me loves all of you). It therefore belongs within marriage, where that gift is faithful and lifelong.