Royal City Record August 4 2010

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WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 4, 2010

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When faith fails: A matter of Pride After coming out in the media, a city teen gets a call from her church and is forced to make a decision BY NIKI HOPE REPORTER

nhope@royalcityrecord.com

Last month, when 17-year-old Tory Inglis was featured in a newspaper article about her involvement in the city’s first-ever Pride celebration, she never expected to face fallout from her church. Tory, a lesbian, has been going to the First Presbyterian Church on Seventh Street in New Westminster her entire life but withdrew her membership last month, after the church’s minister and another senior church member took her to task for being involved with New Westminster’s Pride Day. “They want me to leave the Pride organization, even though it stands for all of the things they preach in their church, which is acceptance of all people,” Tory said. Tory knew the church opposed gay marriage but was unaware that her involvement with Pride would be so contentious. “I knew their stance on it was you can’t get married,” she said. “I didn’t realize it’s … almost like ‘Don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy in the States.” A photograph of Tory and two gay men was featured on a front-page story in the June 12th edition of The Record. Roughly a month after the story appeared, Tory said the minister called her house to talk about her involvement with Pride. They discussed the gay “lifestyle” during what was an uncomfortable and emotional phone call for Tory. Tory later met with the minister and another female church member. Tory was anxious about the meeting. “Who wouldn’t be nervous

Jason Lang/THE RECORD

Forced to choose: Local teen Tory Inglis left her church after she was called in to discuss her sexuality. The meeting came after an article on Tory’s involvement in New Westminster’s Pride Day was published. Tory’s mom, Karen, supports her daughter’s stand. before they were going to meet the youth, and I was leading chilwith someone who is really high dren to follow a sexual lifestyle,” up in the church and openly talk she said. “They asked me how I felt about the whole thing. I told about sexuality?” she said. them flat-out that I At the meeting, was offended. Tory learned that ◗MORE ON THIS “I asked them if her involvement what they were lookwith Pride had been Our View: Religion and ing for is if I would raised at one of the gay folks – an often rocky leave the Pride church’s “sessions,” relationship. Society. I said, ‘I’m a meeting where never going to leave church elders dis- See page 6 the society, so you cuss church affairs. might as well take “They said because of my involvement with me off the list of your members,” Pride, I was a poor role model for said Tory, who left the meeting in

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tears. Tory, a New Westminster Secondary School student, said she doesn’t regret posing for the photo or being interviewed for the story, despite the fallout. As well, her parents are “100 per cent” supportive of the article, she said. Tory’s mother, Karen Inglis, has also left the church because of the situation. After Tory’s meeting, Karen had her own sit down with the minister and the church member. “I was quite upset with regards

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to what they actually said to her,” she said. “Our biggest beef was she hadn’t done anything in the church that would change the way they think of her as a being a Christian role model. “I was upset that they weren’t more up front with me about what they were going to say to my child. I thought it would be along the lines, ‘We are here for you if you want to.’ I thought it would be more ministerial. Had they said, ‘You know what, we are going to come out and say

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