Issuu

PRESENTS

The Class of

2020’s

completely unofficial guide to

INSIDE: Brown from A to Z Guide to first-year housing Artwork by Roland High

The Herald

Illustrations by Madeleine Denman

A cappella

A A.B.

BROWN Binder, Dave

A Spring Weekend tradition. He sings mediocre but endearing covers of bachelorette party favorites to hordes of Brown students every year.

An oversubscribed vocal and social activity. If you live near the Wayland or MorrissChamplin arches, you might want to invest in soundproofing your room.

The bachelor of arts degree most of you will leave with. Everyone else calls it a B.A.

A.B.-Sc.B.

This five-year program will get you two — count ’em, two! — degrees before you leave.

(See Spring Weekend)

BlogDailyHerald An online hub of campus life and go-to source for information on cool happenings and people in and around Brunonia.

(See The Brown Daily Herald)

Andrews Commons

Brown’s swankiest, newest eatery opened in spring 2014, after the Gate in the basement of Alumnae Hall closed (RIP). Go for the proximity to Pembroke dorms when you need a late-night snack; stay for the pho, pizza and questionable design choices.

AQR

Tucked on the bottom floor of the Rock, the Absolute Quiet Room is just as serious about silence as its name suggests. Friendships and romances have ended after one party had the audacity to talk in there.

ADOCH A Day on College Hill. Many of you probably came to this spring event right after acceptance letters went out. We eschew homework for a day, act cool, collegiate and cheerful and throw parties that are unusually large for Tuesday nights. This is not necessarily indicative of life at Brown.

Banner The University’s computerized student record system. We used it for selecting classes. Avoid the transcript section.

(See Courses@Brown)

The Blue Room Brown’s version of Starbucks. It’s the Brown eatery the University wants visitors to see. Its double chocolate muffins and custom-made sandwiches are favorites.

BMP

BOLT

Brown Motion Pictures, home to student-created short films and advance screenings of popular movies. Formerly known as BTV.

Brown Outdoor Leadership Training is a unique opportunity to learn how to tie a trucker’s hitch, avoid the sophomore slump and bury your poop with a trowel. Five days in the White Mountains of New Hampshire with nine strangers right before the start of sophomore year — it’s probably better than whatever you had planned for the last week of summer 2016.

FROM A-Z

Brown Band

Much like your high school marching band. Except without the emphasis on marching. Or music, for that matter. But the musicians use profanity, their uniforms have flair and the group is the only college band that does shows on ice skates during hockey season. Known for performing holiday songs in your favorite study spot right before finals.

By Herald staff

CFF Chicken Finger Friday. Beloved weekly lunch at the V-Dub and one of the only reasons to stay on meal plan after your first year. Responsible for an estimated 13 of the Freshman 15.

(See V-Dub)

The Brown Daily Herald

Carberry, Josiah

The finest daily publication in this fair republic. Published since 1866, daily since 1891, The Herald is financially and editorially independent from the University, is available free all over campus and covers University news, metro, opinion, arts, science and sports. You can read us online at browndailyherald.com

Brown’s legendary professor of psychoceramics — the study of cracked pots. He does not exist. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. He also has Brown’s online library system and the only double chicken patty sandwich available at a Rhode Island fast food restaurant named after him.

BSR

(See Jo’s)

Cianci, Vincent a.k.a. “Buddy”

Brown Student Radio, WBRU-FM’s estranged hipster cousin, broadcasts in the The renowned, longest-serving former mayor of Providence, who got evenings, seven days a week. The station is out of the slammer in 2007. First elected in 1974, he resigned in 1984 after so underground that it can only be heard pleading no contest to assaulting his wife’s lover with a fireplace log (!), on its website, bsrlive.com. proceeded to host a radio show for a few years and was then reelected in 1990 — until he was convicted of federal crimes in 2002. Legend has it Buddy used to ride up to Brown frat parties on a white horse during his first term. He could often be seen playing cymbals with the Brown Band Brown University Dining Services stuat football games. Two years ago, hoping for another comeback, Cianci dent employees’ ubiquitous hats make ran an unsuccessful campaign for mayor. He died last year. them as adorable as their acronym. BuDS workers staff campus eateries — patiently taking sandwich orders, swiping meal cards and restocking shelves. Be nice, and you may not get charged Rhode Island’s openly gay, Jewish, Italian, first district congressman and extra for the meat on your Blue Room former Providence mayor, who’s also a Brown alum. As an undergrad, he breakfast sandwich. co-founded the Brown Democrats with John F. Kennedy Jr. ’83. Soon after he left the mayor’s office for Washington in January 2011, it came to light that the city’s finances were in far worse shape than Providence’s citizens had been led to believe. Sucked for the next guy, who took some controTechnically the “Rumford Bus Tunnel,” it versial steps including cutting a deal with Bruno to address the deficit. goes through College Hill (literally), from Starbucks to the intersection of Waterman (See Taveras, Angel and Kennedy, and North Main streets. Don’t try walking John Fitzgerald, Jr. ’83) through the tunnel. You will never be heard from again.

BuDS

Cicilline ’83, David

Bus tunnel

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Coffee Milk – Dining Services

Coffee Milk The official state drink of Rhode Island. It’s basically chocolate milk made with a sweet, coffee-flavored syrup. It’s delicious and scarce outside of the state, so drink up while you still can.

Courses@Brown The way we all chose our courses for the semester. We switched from Banner last year, and everyone unanimously agrees that the interface makes even less sense than it did before. (See Banner)

CPR

1. Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation. 2. Course Performance Report, a written evaluation of your performance in a class. You can request one of those from any professor, either in addition to a letter grade or to supplement an “S” in an S/NC class. (See New Curriculum, S/NC)

Credit / Meal credit

Cranston

College Hill

Rhode Island’s third-largest city, but you’ll probably never go there unless you’re seeking dim sum closer than Boston. Most notable for serving as the inspiration for the city of Quahog in “Family Guy.”

Home, sweet home.

The College Hill Independent College Hill’s weekly news rag, but more importantly, The Herald’s chief kickball competitor. The de facto headquarters of Brown’s hipster population.

Concentration In the rest of the world, this is called a “major.”

(See New Curriculum)

The Corporation

In October, February and May, the cabal of rich men and women who really run Brown meet in Sayles Hall to decide our future. You likely don’t know who the members of the Brown Corporation are, and that’s probably just how they like it.

Getting into Brown is only half the intellectual battle: Figuring out how to purchase food on campus most effectively in the face of Brown’s meal plan setup makes organic chemistry look like a game of Go Fish. One meal credit will get you into the Ratty or the V-Dub or purchase $7.60 worth of food at Jo’s, the Ivy Room, the Blue Room or Andrews. Some plans offer a lot of points with fewer meals, whereas others will give you a set number of meals per week and fewer points.

(See Flex point, Andrews Commons, Jo’s, Ratty, V-Dub)

Critical Review Student reviews of most classes and professors at Brown. No matter how great the course description looks, a bad Critical Review rating should make you at least pause.

D Dining Services Brown Dining Services tries to make itself beloved with cupcake decorating events and dining hall theme days. Sometimes it even succeeds. The food isn’t as bad as people say, nor is it as good as you’ll want it to be.

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Due Date – First-year seminars

Due date

It is always flexible. Even when the professor swears otherwise.

Faunce House

The Department of Public Safety. As Brown is to the Ivy League, DPS is to a real police department. Technically they have full police powers since their accreditation under Ruth Simmons.

Since its reopening in fall 2010, it has housed the Stephen Robert ’62 Campus Center. Home to the Blue Room, study spaces, a printing cluster, the Underground and those famous stairs at the top of the Main Green where hipsters can see and be seen.

DPS

E Elorza, Jorge

(See Blue Room, Main Green, Underground)

The current mayor of Providence. He former served as a housing judge in Providence and currently gets mixed reviews. He’s most known for beating the notorious Vincent “Buddy” Cianci for mayor.

(See Cianci, Vincent a.k.a. “Buddy”)

EMS

Federal Hill

EMS stands for Emergency Medical Services. It also stands for Eastern Mountain Sports. Call the wrong one, and instead of getting a stomach pump, you’ll be getting a thermos and a GPS system to help you stumble home.

Providence’s “Little Italy,” they like to say. Since it’s only really one street (Atwells Avenue), you can get great pasta, delicious cannoli and vengeance for your brother’s murder all in one place.

Endowment, small The reason behind most of the University’s financial problems — in bed. Prepare for many similar jokes over your next four years, especially after our endowment shrank by about $800 million in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis.

First-years You. Everybody else calls them “freshmen.”

Extension You will most likely ask for at least one of these in your time at Brown. Make up a good reason, and you’ll probably get it. Even when the professor says at the beginning of the year that he or she never gives extensions.

(See Due date)

First-year seminars Take one while you can.

Flex point – Hutchings-Votey Organ

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Flex point

The Gordon Gee Lavatory Complex

These little beauties come as part of your meal plan or can be purchased from BDS for $1 per point. All on-campus eateries take them.

The portable bathrooms that grace the Main Green every Spring Weekend. Christened after a former Brown president who stayed for two years before leaving for a higher-paying job at Vanderbilt University.

(See Spring Weekend)

Graduate Center

Friedman Study Center Unveiled in January 2007, the Friedman Study Center is a 24-hour haven for procrastinators. It’s housed in the basement of the SciLi and decorated in a sort of 1960s-futuristic style. In other words, lots of lime green and oddly shaped furniture.

(See SciLi)

GCB

The Graduate Center Bar, an actual bar buried in the basement of Grad Center. A good place to go on a weeknight to split a pitcher of beer and a game of pool. It’s $30 to become a member, but stay away if you’re under 21 — unlike most bars in Providence, they don’t take fake IDs.

(See Graduate Center)

Grad Center has all the charm of a sterile, riot-proof bunker — but without the sterility. Home to many of Brown’s juniors, this fivebuilding abomination has been plaguing the campus aesthetic since it was constructed, or by some accounts, assembled from Lincoln Logs. The only valuable thing about this structure is the land it is currently devaluing.

Granoff Also known as the Perry and Marty Granoff Center for the Creative Arts, this accordion-shaped gem is a fairly new and very fancy addition to campus. It garnered a rave architectural review from the New York Times when it opened in the spring of 2011. Forty million dollars will get you a below-ground theater, a recording facility, dance studios, gallery space, a multi-media lab and an avant-garde aesthetic straight out of “Minority Report.”

Hutchings-Votey Organ Located in Sayles, it’s the largest one in the world! We suspect there aren’t many H-V organs in the world.

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IMP – Magaziner ‘69 P’06 P’07 P’10, Ira

IMP

1. International Mentoring Program to help first-year international students adjust to studying and living in the United States.

Indigenous People’s Day

The federal holiday known as Columbus day. Brown previously referred to the weekend as Fall Weekend. But the name was formally changed to Indigenous People’s day last year.

Jo’s Technically Josiah’s, the snack bar of choice for residents south of the Main Green. Located on the ground floor of New Dorm A, it’s the home of salads, snacks and delicious fried foods. Save yourselves the embarrassment of being instantly labeled as first-years and order a spicy with. Just trust us.

(See Main Green, New Dorm and Carberry, Josiah)

IPTV

We can watch TV on out computers! The online system was recently switched out for a newer and better model with many more channels and the ability to record programs.

The Ivy Room

A popular lunch spot for those lucky few with flex points to spare, the Ivy Room turns into an all-vegetarian eatery at night. The falafel may not be authentic, but whatever it is, it’s worth the long line. (See Flex points)

J. Walter Wilson

The Hay is one of those very collegiate libraries in which you feel like you shouldn’t touch anything. It has many rare collections and is home to the University Archives for you soon-to-be history buffs. The building underwent an expensive yearlong renovation in 2014, and now has a beautifully restored reading room for those who can study without eating or drinking.

We’re glad he broke the family trend of Harvard attendance. Yes, he kept a pig in his dorm.

Loui’s A Brook Street restaurant you will inevitably discover at 5 a.m. Try the grilled muffins.

Houses the mailroom, classrooms and lots of administrative offices. Everyone walks through it a few times a week, so student groups camp out in the lobby to pester passersby to sign petitions and buy baked goods.

The John Hay Library

Kennedy Jr. ’83, John Fitzgerald

M Main Green

If you haven’t figured out what this is, go home.

Magaziner ’69 P’06 P’07 P’10, Ira The New Curriculum was his brainchild while he was an undergraduate. Now he’s the mastermind behind the Clinton Foundation.

(See New Curriculum)

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Magic Bars – Parking space

Magic Bars

New Dorm

One of the few delicious desserts at the Ratty. No, they don’t have weed in them. But they do have coconut, chocolate, graham cracker and probably enough trans fats to kill a small animal. Tasty. (See Ratty)

Not so new anymore (it opened in 1991), the former Thayer Street dorm is officially called Vartan Gregorian Quad — but don’t call it that. The two buildings contain upperclassman suites, often coveted living space for juniors. Building A is home to Jo’s, a campus snack bar.

Meiklejohn Pronounced like “nickel-john,” but with an “M.” Alexander Meiklejohn was a professor of philosophy. Meiklejohns are now the non-first-year counselors who dish straight truth on anything you need to know about academics at Brown.

(See Jo’s)

Orientation Enjoy this while it lasts — being overscheduled will never be this relaxing again.

MPC

Orwig

Minority Peer Counselor. The counselors who are specially trained to advise first-year students on minority issues.

Underused but beautiful music library; only open until 10 p.m.

Naked Donut Run

Paxson P’19, Christina

During reading period, dedicated scholars in the Rock and the SciLi get a special treat: donuts! Made doubly delicious by the awkward nudes who hand them to you.

Brown’s 19th president, Christina Paxson originaly hails from Princeton, where she was dean of the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs.

(See Rock, SciLi)

Nelson Fitness Center Equipped with over 10,000 square feet of workout equipment and an Olympic-sized swimming pool, the new fitness center promises to transform our school into an athletic powerhouse within the decade. Our top sports? Competitive farm sharing, the 200-meter literary reference and trampling injustice.

New Curriculum This is what allows you take whatever classes you want and potentially graduate without having taken a single one of them for a grade. It’s 47 years old, but we still call it new. Go figure.

Pacifica House Brown’s one and only secret society. If you see the letters SDP around campus, that’s them.

Parking space Something you’ll never find in Providence, anywhere. And certainly not overnight or for more than two hours.

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Patriot’s Court – Quiet Green

Patriot’s Court

PLME

An extension of Wriston Quad. A bit quieter, in theory. Otherwise unremarkable.

Brown’s Program in Liberal Medical Education lets you go straight into the Alpert Medical School without ever taking the MCATs or second-semester organic chemistry. Pronounced phonetically, like “plee-me.”

(See Wriston Quadrangle)

Pawtucket A city bordering Providence — pronounced puhTUCKet, not PAWtucket. The locals tend to get rabid if you say it wrong. The movie “Outside Providence” takes place here.

Pembroke The northern part of Brown’s campus used to be Pembroke College, an all-female coordinate to Brown. The official merge occurred in 1971, though underthe-table sexiling had been going on for years. Legend has it that if you walk over the seal on the steps leading up to the college, your next sexual encounter will result in impregnation. Or you’ll meet the person you’re supposed to marry here at Brown. Or both. We can’t remember. (See Sexile)

ProJo The Providence Journal, Rhode Island’s largest daily newspaper. Its reporters get very excited when big things happen in this tiny state. Remember that “Survivor” guy Richard? Yeah, the one from Newport. He was on the cover of the ProJo for four days straight. Oh, and they’ve won some Pulitzers.

Post-

Queer Alliance

The Herald’s rebellious kid sister. It comes out every Thursday and covers music, film, theater, food, politics and campus culture.

The LGBTQ umbrella organization. One of the most visible student groups on campus, it focuses on making Brown a more positive space for queer students by providing a variety of educational and social programming.

(See The Brown Daily Herald)

(See Sex Power God)

Power Street Formerly one of the few lots where students could park. Now, thanks to development, a place to gaze wistfully as a shuttle whisks you to your car in a new lot far, far away.

(See Parking space)

Providence Place Mall

One of the crowning achievements of Buddy Cianci’s mayoral administration, this sprawling shopping center provides almost everything you need in a 15-minute walk from campus. As long as everything you need can be found at chain stores, a multiplex and a food court.

Quiet Green A good place for reading or making out on pleasant days. Rumor has it the University has had a rule on the books since the 1960s that you can be naked here.

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RC – Sayles Hall

RC 1. The black sheep of the cola family. 2. Residential Counselor, the dedicated individual who will guide you through Orientation, help you adjust to college life and give you (almost) free condoms.

Reading Period Around three to 10 days off between when classes end and final exams begin. You’re supposed to finish up your work, but you’ll end up watching TV a lot.

(See Wriston Quadrangle, Orientation)

Raimondo, Gina The 75th governor of Rhode Island, and the first woman to hold the office. She went to Harvard, but don’t hold it against her. Former democratic presidential candidate Lincoln Chafee ‘75 P’14 P’17 was her predecessor.

Ratty

The Sharpe Refectory. According to legend, the full name got shortened to “Rat Factory,” and lazy Brown students took it a step further to its current cognomen. It has road signs for easy navigation, but watch out for bottlenecks and congestion. Love it — it loves you.

Ray Kelly The former New York City police commissioner whose scheduled speech at Brown in October 2013 was shut down by student and community protesters angry at his stop-and-frisk policies. We still haven’t stopped talking about it.

RIPTA RISD

The bus. You can ride it for free with your Brown ID.

Rhode Island School of Design. Brown students can, at least in theory, take advantage of classes at RISD, but the lack of storage space and its wildly different schedule hinder most Brown students from heading halfway down College Hill. But those who make it into classes at RISD find them to be well worth the trouble.

(See College Hill)

Rhode Island Officially the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations. A recent push from activists and lawmakers to rid the state of the second part of its name, and all the ugly connotations it carries, gained momentum but was defeated at the ballot box in 2010. So Lil’ Rhody is still the smallest state in the nation with the longest name — and now it’s your home.

The Rock The John D. Rockefeller, Jr. Library. The main humanities library on campus where students spend more time hitting the books than they ever thought possible (probably more because they get lost in the cryptic, dimly lit stacks and less because they are motiviated). Be warned of the earpiercing, closing-time bell — and remember, if you’re there to hear it, you’ve been working too long.

S/NC Satisfactory/No Credit. The option to take any class pass/ fail. It’s one of the beauties of the New Curriculum.

Sayles Hall

(See New Curriculum)

The giant, Hogwarts-like building on the Main Green. Home to classrooms, the Hutchings-Votey Organ and portraits of all of Brown’s past presidents.

(See Main Green, Hutchings-Votey Organ)

Sex Power God – Simmons, Ruth

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Sex Power God

Simmons Quad

What used to be the Queer Alliance’s annual, raucous fall party. It gained national notoriety after a producer from “The O’Reilly Factor” managed to get himself inside in 2005 to shoot footage, later creating a segment during which Bill O’Reilly called University leaders “pinheads.” Two years ago, the Queer Alliance cancelled the event, saying it had deviated from its goals of “safe sexual expression” and had become “violent and unwelcoming.”

Formerly known as Lincoln Field, this is the green between Sayles Hall and Thayer Street. The upper section is perfect for studying, while the lower part is often the site of Frisbee games.

(See Queer Alliance and Simmons, Ruth)

SciLi

Senior Week Seniors’ last week of college — a packed schedule of social events, parties and goodbyes in the days between finals and Commencement.

The Sciences Library. Fourteen stories, color-coded according to the pH system (“The books get more ‘basic’ as you go higher up”). Playboy once named the 13th floor one of the “most notorious make-out spots” in America. (Ask an upperclassman about the SciLi challenge.) Home ot the Friedman Study Center, the SciLi is currently undergoing some major renovations to get rid of some of its sinister stacks and make it a little less frightening, especially for humanities concentrators.

Sc.B. Everyone else calls it a B.S.

Sidney Frank

(See Simmons, Ruth)

The glass and steel behemoth between main campus and Pembroke campus, formally known as the Sidney E. Frank Hall for the Life Sciences. The logical extension of the Walk runs through it.

Sexile A merger of the words “exile” and “sex.” This is what happens if you have a roommate who wants to invite a new friend over to spend the night. You end up sleeping on the floor in the lounge — if you even have one.

Simmons, Ruth Brown’s 18th president and the first black president of an Ivy League school, Simmons ended her 11-year term four years ago. She had a near cult-like following among students and even had a quad named after her. Simmons enacted need-blind admission for first-year domestic applicants, and her Plan for Academic Enrichment reshaped the Brown academic experience. Gone, but not forgotten, she handed over the reins to Christina Paxson P’19 in 2012.

(See Paxson P’19, Christina)

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Shopping Period – Thayer Street

Shopping Period Two-week-long period at the beginning of each semester during which you can try out any class that catches your eye and freely change your class registration. Try to finish up your shopping within a week, because professors will launch right into their courses. Everyone will tell you to shop as many classes as possible. You won’t believe them, but you should. Also, everyone will tell you to shop classes that interest you and ignore concentration requirements and career considerations. You won’t believe them, but you should.

Smitty B Otherwise known as Smith-Buonanno Hall. One of the main academic buildings on Pembroke.

(See Pembroke)

Spiritus

SunLab Located on the first floor of the CIT, the SunLab is filled with high-powered workstations for computer science students. Good luck trying to get a computer on the night before a big CS project is due. Or on any Friday or Saturday night, for that matter.

T.A.

Spiritus Fermenti. The closest liquor store to campus, located right next to Pembroke at the intersection of Thayer and Meeting streets. The prices are high, but you can’t beat the location.

Spring Weekend In a good year, Spring Weekend means big-name bands on our very own Main Green, couches on Wriston, lots of drinking and casual sex. In a bad year, expect lots of reverb inside the hockey arena.

(See Main Green, Wriston Quadrangle and Binder, Dave)

Taveras, Angel The former mayor of Providence, who took over after David Cicilline ’83. He ran for governor of Rhode Island, but lost to Gina Raimondo.

(See Cicilline ’83, David, Elorza, Jorge, Raimondo, Gina)

Stadium It’s over a mile away. This would be a huge pain if anyone besides alums and the Brown Band went to football games.

(See Brown Band)

Teaching Assistant. They teach some intro-level language classes as well as some courses in math and other departments. Some are helpful. Some are useless. Some will end up dating your roommate.

Thayer Street

Serving as the de-militarized zone between Brown and its real-world neighbors, this avenue was formerly home to a plethora of eclectic shops and a roving motorcycle gang. Now it’s a glorified food court.

The Trolley – WBRU

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The Trolley

A bus disguised to look like a trolley, run by RIPTA, which goes from Thayer Street to Kennedy Plaza and Federal Hill. There’s also one that goes to East Side Market, a huge grocery store. The other route goes, um, somewhere else.

(See RIPTA)

U UCS

V-Dub The Verney-Woolley Dining Hall. The junior member of Brown’s dining halls, it is smaller and more intimate, features a “Now That’s What I Call Music!” soundtrack and tends to draw mostly athletes and first-years.

The Underground

Van Wickle Gates

An erstwhile on-campus club, located in Faunce House. It used to be easy for under-21s to get drinks here, but the newly refurbished Underground now has no liquor license, after an administrative crackdown and an unpleasant debacle involving local high school students. “As of last spring, this is the new home of the non-profit, locally-sourced Underground Coffee Shop. Otherwise, the space is mostly used for student performances, open mics and group meetings when the Blue Room is too crowded.

So important that they’re only open twice a year.

(See Faunce House)

Second-largest city in the state. The airport is here. Not much else.

The Undergraduate Council of Students, which tries really, really hard to be an effective student governing body.

W Warwick Watson Institute

Unit Groupings of first-years who all share the same RC, MPC and WPC. Most units live within the same residence hall. Units are most important during Orientation, when they face off in the relay races, games and cheering contests of Unit Wars. Also, seniors relive their first-year Unit Wars during Senior Week, but this time the inebriation is legal.

The Watson Institute for International and Public Affairs. Home of world-renowned research and the international relations, development studies, Middle East studies, South Asian studies and Latin American studies concentrations.

(See MPC, RC, WPC, Orientation, Senior Week)

Unitcest

A merger of the words “unit” and “incest.” It’s when you hook up with someone in your unit. This is why “It’s Complicated” exists on Facebook.

University Hall

(See Unit)

WBRU 95.5 FM, one of the largest radio stations in southern New England and the oldest college radio station in America. Purported to be “the original alt-rock.” We’re not arguing.

(See BSR)

Come here to meet with deans or visit President Christina Paxson P’19 during her office hours. The oldest building on campus, it’s on the National Register of Historic Places.

(See Christina Paxson P’19)

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The Whiskey Republic – ZipCar

The Whiskey Republic

WPC

The popular off-campus bar is in the beloved spot where the now-defunct Fish Co. — shut down in 2010 — once stood. Nostalgic students call this “Whis Co.,” but modifying the name won’t bring back the stripper poles.

Women’s Peer Counselors, the third members of each first-year residence hall’s peer counseling trios (along with MPCs and RCs). WPCs focus on health, gender, sexuality and relationships, plus they provide condoms and dental dams.

Whispering Arch

(See MPC, RC)

In back of Metcalf, there’s a stone arch. Station a friend on one side of it, then go to the other side and whisper into it. They’ll be able to hear you as if you were blowing in their ear.

Wickenden Street and Wayland Square Two non-Brown-related commercial districts within walking distance. Wickenden is famous for its head shops, gelato and pubs. Wayland is known for its bookstores and fancy restaurants. Pick your poison, or mix and match.

Writing Center

Wriston Quadrangle Home to the Ratty and most of Brown’s fraternities and sororities (which are housed in on-campus residence halls, to the surprise of your friends back home). The lawn in the center of the quad turns into a weekly farmer’s market in the warmer months and a slip-and-slide during Spring Weekend.

(See Spring Weekend)

Williams, Roger

A place you can go to get one-on-one help editing or writing papers, staffed by graduate students in a variety of disciplines. Make sure to book appointments two weeks in advance of finals.

Writing Fellows Writing Fellows suck the pain out of throwing together a paper the night before it’s due by labeling said effort a “draft” and requiring that it be “edited” by a fellow student with “superior” writing talent.

Founder of this great state, proponent of religious freedom and now a giant statue in Prospect Terrace.

(See Rhode Island)

ZipCar

Short-term rental cars available at a variety of locations including the Power Street Garage, as long as you’re over 18. Kind of lame-looking but actually pretty useful.

YOUR GUIDE TO FIRSTYEAR HOUSING AT BROWN PROS

CONS

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TAKEAWAY

Welcome to your first-year housing arrangements at Brown! Maybe you expect to live in the College Hill Ritz-Carlton or maybe you have already heard horror stories about certain buildings — we guarantee the truth lies somewhere in between. With this in mind, we’ve prepared a comprehensive guide to the perks and drawbacks of each first-year dorm. Enjoy — just remember, your first-year housing is what you make of it, and you should always wear flip-flops in the shower.

Andrews Hall +

The fondly nicknamed “Hotel Andrews” is perched atop Pembroke’s campus, which boasts a beautiful green perfect for lounging about on a crisp fall day. Each room has a sink — a prized asset that sets Andrews apart from its competitors — and the building’s elevators and newly renovated common rooms add a touch of classy hospitality. And the recently constructed Andrews Commons is right downstairs!

–

Save a couple of exceptions, most academic buildings are far from Andrews, so get ready for brisk morning trots to make those 9 a.m. classes — or just don’t take 9 a.m. classes.

With renovations completed and a new dining hall just down the elevator, there has never been a better time to move in, despite the building’s distance from main campus.

Emery-Woolley Hall +

Emery and Woolley Halls, close to Thayer Street’s most popular attractions, have an enviable location and offer semi-private bathrooms. Plus, the in-house gym and dining hall (the VDub) mean you can eat mountains of chicken fingers and burn off the calories in one swoop.

–

Having a gym is great, but the small facility can’t rival the Nelson Fitness Center. The rooms tend to be quite small, and noise from Thayer Street can also be an issue for students living on lower floors.

The combined perks of the V-Dub, a gym and Thayer access outweigh the frustration of being farther from the Main Green than your friends in other dorms.

FIRST-YEAR HOUSING GUIDE

Keeney Quadrangle

Historically a hotbed of late-night shenanigans, Keeney often acts as ground zero for first-year socializing due to its densely packed halls. The complex — which became three separate buildings with common courtyard entrances two summers ago — is just minutes from the Main Green and the Ratty, Brown’s main dining hall. Each first-year unit now has its own lounge, and the top-floor lounges have been refurbished with new kitchen appliances and lighting.

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The frenetic activity and noise of Keeney may get tiresome on some weekends, and the bathrooms are often less than pristine. Never go barefoot in the shower.

The University’s recent $56 million commitment to housing renovations has transformed Keeney from one of the most run-down dorms to among the most modern residential areas.

Metcalf Hall +

Next to Andrews Hall and across from Miller Hall, this Pembroke building has new, state-ofthe-art common rooms with glass doors, bright lighting and comfortable couches. Metcalf residents can walk onto the terrace overlooking Pembroke’s green, and they enjoy the amenities of the nearby V-Dub and Andrews Commons.

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Unlike your friends in Emery-Woolley, you actually have to leave the building to access a gym and chow down on food. And as with other Pembroke dorms, the distance from the Main Green can try one’s patience on a cold winter morning’s trek to class.

Metcalf’s new common rooms resemble five-star hotel lobbies. The building’s renovations are part of the University’s push to forge tight-knit communities based on class year, and administrators are hoping the common rooms will facilitate greater dorm bonding.

Miller Hall +

Bearing a close resemblance to neighboring Metcalf Hall, Miller boasts similar lounges with glass doors that look like entrances to a fancy corporate boardroom. The new kitchens are welcome additions for the culinarily minded, and the elevators come in handy when you’re moving in and out.

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Principally the distance from the Main Green.

Previously reserved for upperclassmen, Miller now offers first-years new hang-out and cooking spaces, close proximity to Thayer Street and the classic aesthetic of a historic but newly renovated New England brick dorm. While it may not be as abuzz with activity as Keeney, Miller is nestled within the heart of the livable Pembroke campus.

FIRST-YEAR HOUSING GUIDE

Morris-Champlain Hall +

The interconnected Morris and Champlain Halls (or “MoChamp,” as the complex is affectionately called) on Pembroke’s campus are a stone’s throw from the V-Dub, Andrews Commons and Thayer Street. Morris-Champlain features spacious lounges where first-year units can bond, and CVS is just around the corner when you realize you forgot to pack a toothbrush. Plus, semi-private bathrooms.

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MoChamp’s doubles often aren’t as big as those in Andrews or Keeney.

The University renovated several common spaces in MoChamp a few summers ago, meaning that first-years stationed here will get a slice of the housing upgrade pie. The dorm is far from a lot of main campus, but the proximity to Thayer and intimate atmosphere more than compensate for the distance.

Wayland House +

Located on Wriston Quad, home to most of Brown’s fraternity and sorority houses, Wayland House is in the middle of the action. Seconds from the Keeney gym, the Main Green and the Ratty, Wayland residents can be fully emerged in Brown’s social life without venturing far from their rooms. The building is divided into North and South Wayland by an arch where a cappella groups often perform. The Jabberwocks, one of the oldest such groups on campus, have their own spacious lounge in the basement of North Wayland.

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Most of the doubles are on the smaller side, and the bathroom doors are sometimes difficult to prop open. Know that Wriston’s vibrant nightlife (read: fraternity parties) can get pretty noisy on weekends.

Between its central location and intimate structure, Wayland often leaves its inhabitants with fond memories of their first year. But after dealing with the high-octane Wriston Quad nightlife, you may find yourself venturing over to visit your friends on the quieter Pembroke campus every once in a while.

FIRST-YEAR HOUSING GUIDE

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