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Herald presents:

The Class of 2015’s Unofficial Guide to Brown Inside: A-Z Guide – 6 First-Year Dorm Guide – 22 Guide to The Herald – 29

THE BROWN A cappella

An oversubscribed-to vocal and social activity. If you live near the Wayland or Morriss-Champlin arches, you might want to invest in soundproofing your room.

Absolute Quiet Room Tucked on the bottom floor of the Rock, this room is just as serious about silence as its name suggests. Friendships and romances have ended after one party had the audacity to talk in there. (See Rock)

A.B.

ADOCH

The bachelor of arts degree most of you will leave with. Everyone else calls it a B.A.

A Day on College Hill. A lot of you probably came to this spring event right after acceptance letters went out. We eschew homework for a day, act cool, collegiate and cheerful and throw parties that are unusually large for Tuesday nights. This is not necessarily indicative of life at Brown.

A.B.-Sc.B. This five-year program will get you two — count ’em, two! — degrees before you leave.

Annmary Brown Memorial

The creepy building next door to Health Services is an actual tomb, complete with bodies — the tomb closes at 5 p.m. so Annmary and her husband can consummate their love, even in death. Annmary’s final resting place now serves foremost as a location from which the brothers of Delta Tau can conveniently funnel beers.

Binder, Dave

Banner

A Spring Weekend tradition. He sings mediocre but endearing covers The University’s computerized student record system. The interface makes AOL dial-up circa of bachelorette party favorites to 1996 look like an iPhone. (See Mocha) hordes of drunken Brown students on Wriston Quad every year.

Blogdailyherald The online center of life on campus and the number one source for finding out which television shows have made fun of Brown recently.

(See Brown Daily Herald)

(See Spring Weekend, Wriston Quadrangle)

BDS Brown Dining Services tries to make itself beloved with corn husking competitions and dining hall theme days. Sometimes it even succeeds. The food isn’t as bad as people say, nor is it as good as you’ll want it to be. Also, inventors of the (in)famous Polynesian Ratatouille.

A-Z GUIDE

Illustrations by Bridget Sauer

Blue Room, the

BOLT

Brown’s version of Starbucks. Newly renovated, it’s the Brown eatery the University wants visitors to see. Its muffins and focaccia sandwiches are favorites.

Brown Outdoor Leadership Training is a unique opportunity to learn how to tie a trucker’s hitch, avoid the sophomore slump and bury your poop with a trowel. Five days in the White Mountains of New Hampshire with nine strangers right before the start of sophomore year — it’s probably better than whatever you had planned for the last week of summer 2012.

Brown Band Much like your high school marching band. Except without the emphasis on marching. Or music, for that matter. But the musicians use profanity, their uniforms have flair and the group is the only college band that does shows on ice skates during hockey season.

BSR Brown Student Radio, WBRU-FM’s estranged hipster cousin, broadcasts in the evenings, seven days a week. The station is so underground that it can only be heard on its website, bsrlive.com. (See WBRU)

Brown Daily Herald, The The finest daily publication in this fair republic. Published since 1866, daily since 1891, The Herald is financially and editorially independent from the University, is available free all over campus and covers University and city news, opinion, arts and sports. Plus, Sudoku!

BTV Brown Television, home to student-produced television shows, second-run movies and endless replays of the last big speaker to hit Salomon Hall.

BuDS BuDS’ student employees’ ubiquitous red hats make them as adorable as their acronym. BuDS workers staff campus eateries — patiently taking sandwich orders, swiping meal cards and restocking shelves. Be nice, and you may not get charged extra for the fresh mozzarella on your Gate panini. (See Gate)

CAC

Bus tunnel, the

Also known as the Perry and Marty Granoff Center for the Creative Arts, or just the Granny. It’s brand-new and fancy — garnering a rave architectural review in the New York Times. Thirty-eight million dollars will get you a basement movie theater, a recording studio and an avant-garde aesthetic straight out of “Minority Report.” So who needs financial aid anyway?

Technically the “Rumford Bus Tunnel,” it goes through College Hill (literally), from Starbucks to the intersection of Waterman and North Main streets. Don’t try walking through the tunnel. Just don’t. You will never be heard from again.

Cover illustration by Bridget Sauer and Ethan Zisson

THE BROWN A-Z GUIDE

Carberry, Josiah – Corporation, the

CFF

Cianci,Vincent a.k.a. “Buddy”

Chicken Finger Friday. Beloved weekly lunch at the VDub and one of the only reasons to stay on meal plan after your first year. Responsible for an estimated 13 of the Freshman 15. (See V-Dub)

CIT The Thomas J. Watson Center for Information Technology. If you don’t have a printer, you’ll be spending a lot of time here. But only $30 worth of time. (Computer Science concentrators, expect to spend closer to $200,000 worth of time here.)

The renowned, longest-serving former mayor of Providence, who got out of the slammer in 2007. First elected in 1974, he resigned in 1984 after pleading no contest to assaulting his wife’s lover with a fireplace log (!), proceeded to host a radio show for a few years and was then reelected in 1990 — until he was convicted of federal crimes in 2002. Legend has it Buddy used to ride up to Brown frat parties on a white horse during his first term. He could often be seen playing cymbals with the Brown Band at football games. Recently, his exploits have been documented in “The Prince of Providence,” a book by ProJo reporter Mike Stanton, “BUDDY — The Rise and Fall of America’s Most Notorious Mayor,” an Emmy-award winning documentary, and “‘Buddy’ Cianci: The Musical.” In 2008, he made an appearance at The Herald’s annual — and equally notorious — November banquet.

(See Brown Daily Herald, ProJo)

Cicilline, David ’83 Rhode Island’s gay, Jewish, Italian, first district Congressional representative and former Providence mayor, who’s also a Brown alum. As an undergrad, he co-founded the Brown Democrats with John F. Kennedy Jr. ’83. Soon after he left the mayor’s office for Washington in January, it came to light that the city’s finances are in far worse shape than Providence’s citizens had been led to believe. Sucks for the next guy. (See Taveras, Angel and Kennedy, John

Carberry, Josiah Brown’s legendary professor of psychoceramics — the study of cracked pots. He does not exist. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. He also has Brown’s online library system and the only double chicken patty sandwich available at a Rhode Island fast food restaurant named after him. (See Jo’s)

Fitzgerald Jr. ’83)

Coffee Milk The official state drink of Rhode Island. It’s basically chocolate milk made with a sweet, coffee-flavored syrup. It’s fucking delicious and scarcely available outside of the state, so drink up while you still can.

College Hill Independent, the College Hill’s weekly news rag, but more importantly, The Herald’s chief kickball competitor. Also the de facto headquarters of Brown’s hipster population.

College Hill You’re standing on it. Or sitting. Whatever.

Concentration In the rest of the world, this is called a “major.”

(See New Curriculum)

Corporation, the In October, February and May, the cabal of rich men and women who really run Brown meet in Sayles Hall to decide our future. You don’t know who the members of the Brown Corporation are, and that’s probably just how they like it.

THE BROWN A-Z GUIDE

CPR – Federal Hill

CPR

Cranston

1. Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation. 2. Course Performance Report, a written evaluation of your performance in a class. You can request one of those Rhode Island’s third-largest city, but you’ll from any professor, either in addition to a letter grade or to supplement an probably never go there. Most notable for “S” in an S/NC class. (See New Curriculum, S/NC) serving as the inspiration for the city of Quahog in “Family Guy.”

Credit / Meal credit

Getting into Brown is only half the intellectual battle: Figuring out how to purchase food on campus most effectively in the face of Brown’s byzantine and utterly illogical meal plan setup makes organic chemistry look like a game of Go Fish. One meal credit will get you into the Ratty or the V-Dub or purchase $6.30 worth of food at Jo’s or the Gate. Some plans offer a lot of points with fewer meals, whereas others will give you a set number of meals per week and fewer points.

(See Flex point, the Gate, Jo’s, Ratty, V-Dub)

DPS

Dating If you live in Perkins, you might not date your unit-mates, but you are statistically doomed to marry one of them. The rest of you are just doomed. (See Perkins)

Due Date It is always flexible. Even when the professor swears otherwise. (See Extension)

The Department of Public Safety. As Brown is to the Ivy League, DPS is to a real police department. Technically they have full police powers, but they don’t really use them. Expect stern warnings for the most part. If they’re really grumpy, they’ll wait outside of Spiritus to accost underage drinkers. Don’t push them too far though: They have armored Segway scooters, and they’re (See Spiritus) not afraid to use them.

Endowment, small The reason behind most of the University’s financial problems — in bed. Prepare for many similar jokes over your next four years, especially after our endowment shrank by about $800 million in the wake of the 2009 financial crisis.

Extension You will most likely ask for at least one of these in your time at Brown. Make up a good reason, and you’ll probably get it. Even when the professor says at the beginning of the year that he or she never gives extensions. (See Due Date)

EMS EMS stands for Emergency Medical Services. It also stands for Eastern Mountain Sports. Call the wrong one, and instead of getting a stomach pump, you’ll be getting a thermos and a GPS system to help you stumble home.

Fall Weekend Pretty much everyone else calls this Columbus Day. We Brownies aren’t so keen on Christopher and his colonizing ways, so we have the terribly vague “Fall Weekend.” Spring Weekend it is not. But still, a day off from classes. (See Spring Weekend)

Federal Hill Providence’s “Little Italy,” they like to say. Since it’s only really one street (Atwells Avenue), you can get great pasta, delicious cannoli and vengeance for your brother’s murder all in one place.

Faunce House Since its reopening in Fall 2010, it has housed the Stephen Robert ’62 Campus Center. Home to the Blue Room, study spaces, a printing cluster, the Underground and those famous stairs at the top of the Main Green where hipsters can see and be seen. (See Blue Room, Main Green,

Underground)

THE BROWN A-Z GUIDE

First-years – IPTV

First-years

Fish Co. The late, legendary South Water Street dive bar whose Wednesday Brown nights were the site of most of the bad decisions made by first-years past. The ’Co. went belly up late last year and has since been replaced by a marginally classier bar. Everyone still calls it “Fish Co.” (or “Whis Co.”) and goes there to get trashed on Wednesdays. (See Whiskey Republic)

Flex point These little beauties come as part of your meal plan or can be purchased from BDS for $1 per point. All on-campus eateries take them.

Front Green / Quiet Green A good place for reading or making out on pleasant days. Rumor has it the University has had a rule on the books since the 1960s that you can be naked here.

GCB The Graduate Center Bar, an actual bar buried in the basement of Grad Center. A good place to go on a weeknight to split a pitcher of beer and a game of pool. It’s $30 to become a member, but stay away if you’re under 21 — unlike most bars in Providence, they don’t take fake IDs. (See Graduate Center)

FriSC

You. Everybody else calls them “freshmen.”

First-year seminars Take one while you can, you lucky bastards.

Unveiled in January 2007, the Friedman Study Center is a 24-hour haven for procrastinators. It’s housed in the basement of the SciLi and decorated in a sort of 1960s-futuristic style. In other words, lots of lime green and oddly-shaped furniture. (See SciLi)

Gate, the The couch-infested rec room of Pembroke Campus. Simply decent pizza becomes stellar when you can buy it with meal credits instead of actual money. (See Credit,

Pembroke)

Graduate Center Grad Center has all the charm of a sterile, riotproof bunker — but without the sterility. Home to many of Brown’s sophomores, this five-building abomination has been plaguing the campus aesthetic since it was constructed, or by some accounts, assembled from Lincoln Logs. The only valuable thing about this structure is the land it is currently devaluing.

IMP 1. International Mentoring Program to help firstyear international students adjust to studying and living in the United States. 2. The wee folk who work long into the night in the bowels of the Ratty to make us delicious “magic bars.” (See Magic bars)

Hutchings-Votey Organ Located in Sayles, it’s the largest one in the world! We suspect there aren’t many H-V organs in the world.

IPTV We can watch TV on our computers, but we still complain that there are too few channels.

THE BROWN A-Z GUIDE

Ivy Room, the – Kennedy Jr.

Ivy Room, the A popular lunch spot for those lucky few with flex points to spare, the Ivy Room turns into an all-vegetarian eatery at night. The falafel may not be authentic, but whatever it is, it’s worth the long line. (See Flex points)

Jean, Wyclef

J. Walter Wilson Houses the Mail Room, classrooms and lots of administrative offices. Everyone walks through it a few times a week, so student groups camp out in the lobby to pester passersby to sign petitions and buy baked goods.

Internationally acclaimed musical artist, former member of the Fugees and current fellow in the Department of Africana Studies. It’s unclear what duties are entailed by the latter distinction, other than swooping in at the last minute to save Spring Weekend 2011 from the suckitude that was Diddy Dirty Money. (See Spring Weekend)

John Hay Library, the One of those very collegiate libraries in which you feel like you shouldn’t touch anything. Its Reading Room is being expanded into a larger study center this year. The Hay has many rare collections and is home to the University Archives, for you soon-to-be Brown history buffs.

Jo’s Technically Josiah’s, the snack bar of choice for residents south of the Main Green. Located on the ground floor of New Dorm A, it’s the home of wraps, snacks and delicious fried foods — especially the Carberry.

(See Main Green, New Dorm and Carberry, Josiah)

Kennedy, John Fitzgerald Jr. ’83 We’re glad he broke the family trend of Harvard attendance. Yes, he kept a pig in his dorm.

THE BROWN A-Z GUIDE

Lincoln Field – New Pembroke

Lincoln Field

LiSci

The green between Sayles Hall and Thayer Street. The upper section is perfect for studying, while the lower part is often the site of football and Frisbee games.

The glass and steel behemoth between main campus and Pembroke campus, formally known as the Sidney E. Frank Hall for the Life Sciences. The logical extension of the Walk runs through it. Alternately, you could call it SiFHaLiS. (See Frank ’42, Sidney E.)

Loui’s A Brook Street restaurant you will inevitably discover at 5 a.m., and hopefully you’ll remember it, too. Try the grilled muffins.

Magaziner, Ira ’69 P’06 P’07 P’10 The New Curriculum was his brainchild while he was an undergraduate. Now he’s the mastermind behind the Clinton Foundation.

(See New Curriculum)

Magic Bars One of the few delicious desserts at the Ratty. No, they don’t have weed in them. But they do have coconut, chocolate, graham cracker and probably enough trans fats to kill a small animal. Tasty. (See Ratty)

Main Green

If you haven’t figured out what this is, go home.

Mocha

Meiklejohn

MCM

Pronounced like “nickeljohn,” but with an “M.” Alexander Meiklejohn was a professor of philosophy. Meiklejohns are now the upper-class counselors who dish straight truth on anything you need to know about academics at Brown.

The Depar tment of Modern Culture and Media. Also the kickball roster for the College Hill ‘Dependent and the site of many a pretentious discussion of Godard.

Naked Donut Run

(See College Hill Independent)

On the last night of reading period, dedicated scholars in the Rock and the SciLi get a special treat: donuts! Made doubly delicious by the (See Rock, SciLi) awkward nudes that hand them to you.

New Pembroke Allegedly built in 1970 by a disgruntled Brown student with a vendetta against the University and a penchant for riot-proofing. It’s a concrete jungle decorated with a metallic pipe bear face, viewed most clearly from the terrace of NP1. Residents of “da ’Broke” will also be privileged to the ups (CVS and East Side Pockets) and downs (drag racing motorbikes and screaming drunks) of living on Thayer Street. A 24-hour study space opened a couple years ago, making NP life just a little more tolerable. (See Pembroke)

After the advent of Banner, the smarties over in Computer Science created their own, much more user-friendly scheduling site. Banner has since copied Mocha’s course scheduling interface, but Mocha still kicks its ass. Using it during registration (mochacourses. brown.edu) will make your life infinitely easier. (See Banner, Shopping Period)

MPC Minority Peer Counselor. The counselors who are specially trained to advise first-year students on minority issues.

New Dorm Not so new anymore (it opened in 1991), the former Thayer Street quad is officially called Vartan Gregorian Quad — but don’t call it that. The two buildings contain upperclassmen suites, often coveted living space for juniors. Building A is (See Jo’s) home to Jo’s, a campus snack bar.

New Curriculum This is what allows you take whatever classes you want and potentially graduate without having taken a single one of them for a grade. It’s 40 years old, but we still call it new. Go figure.

THE BROWN A-Z GUIDE

9 a.m. – Power Street Garage

9 a.m. Too early for class. Don’t even ask about AB hour.

OMAC Olney-Margolies Athletic Center. Your high school gym had more and better equipment. Lucky for you, a brand new fitness center is slated to open next semester.

Orientation Enjoy this while it lasts — being overscheduled will never be this relaxing again.

Orwig Underused but beautiful music library; only open until 10 p.m.

Pacifica House Brown’s one and only secret society. So secret, in fact, that you can visit its website.

Parking space

Pawtucket

Something you’ll never find in Providence, anywhere. And certainly not overnight or for more than two hours.

A city bordering Providence — pronounced puhTUCKet, not PAWtucket. The locals tend to get rabid if you say it wrong. The movie “Outside Providence” takes place here.

Patriot’s Court

Pembroke

An extension of Wriston Quad. A bit quieter, in theory. Otherwise unremarkable.

The northern part of Brown’s campus used to be Pembroke College, an all-female coordinate to Brown. The official merge occurred in 1971, though under-the-table sexiling had been going on for years. Legend has it that if you walk over the seal on the steps leading up to the college, your next sexual encounter will result in impregnation. Or you’ll meet the person you’re supposed to marry here at Brown. Or both. We can’t remember. (See Sexile)

(See Wriston Quadrangle)

Perkins 1. A beloved pancake restaurant that has not yet made it east of New York. 2. A firstyear dorm that is nearly as far away as the nearest Perkins Restaurant. We hope you brought mopeds.

Plan for Academic Enrichment Ruth’s vaguely sinister-sounding plan to ensure that your kids have a better Brown experience than you do. (See Simmons, Ruth)

PLME Brown’s Program in Liberal Medical Education lets you go straight into the Medical School without ever taking the MCATs or second-semester organic chemistry. Pronounced phonetically, like “plee-me.”

post-

Power Street Garage

A weekly magazine and The Herald’s rebellious kid sister. It comes out every Thursday and covers music, film, theater, food, politics and campus culture. (See Brown Daily Herald)

Formerly, one of the few lots where students could park. Now, thanks to development, a place to gaze wistfully as a shuttle whisks you to your car in a new lot far, far away. (See Parking space)

THE BROWN A-Z GUIDE

Projo – Rock, the

Projo

Queer Alliance The LGBTQ umbrella organization. One of the most visible student groups on campus, it focuses on making Brown a more positive space for queer students by providing a variety of educational and social programming. Along with one or two huge, risque, highly publicized parties that are sometimes attended by Fox (See Sex Power God) News producers.

The Providence Journal, Rhode Island’s largest daily newspaper. Its reporters get very excited when big things happen in this tiny state. Remember that “Survivor” guy Richard? Yeah, the one from Newport. He was on the cover of the ProJo for four days straight. Oh, and they’ve won some Pulitzers.

Ratty

1. The black sheep of the cola family. 2. Resident Counselor, the dedicated individual who will guide you through Orientation, help you adjust to college life and give you (almost) free condoms, then persuade you not to vomit on yourself (or your roommate) after your first trip to Wriston Quad.

The Sharpe Refectory. According to legend, the full name got shortened to “Rat Factory,” and lazy Brown students took it a step further to its current cognomen. It has road signs for easy navigation, but watch out for bottlenecks and congestion. Love it — it loves you.

(See Wriston Quadrangle, Orientation)

Ten days off between when classes end and final exams begin. You’re supposed to finish up your work, but you’ll end up drinking a lot.

Officially, the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations. A recent push from activists and lawmakers to rid the state of the second part of its name, and all the icky connotations it carries, gained momentum but was defeated at the ballot box last year. So Lil’ Rhody is still the smallest state in the nation with the longest name — and now it’s your home.

RIPTA The bus. You can ride it for free with your Brown ID.

One of the crowning achievements of Buddy Cianci’s mayoral administration, this sprawling shopping center provides almost everything you need in a 15-minute walk from campus. As long as everything you need can be found at chain stores, a multiplex and a food court.

(See Cianci, Vincent a.k.a. “Buddy”)

Reading Period

Rhode Island

Providence Place Mall

RISD Rhode Island School of Design. Brown students can, at least in theory, take advantage of classes at RISD, but the lack of storage space and its wildly different schedule hinder most Brown students from heading halfway down College Hill. But those who make it into classes at RISD find them to be well worth the trouble.

(See College Hill)

Rock, the The John D. Rockefeller Jr. 1898 Library. The main humanities library on campus where students spend more time hitting the books than they ever thought possible (probably more because they get lost in the cryptic, dimly lit stacks and less because they’re motivated). Be warned of the ear-piercing, closing-time bell — and remember, if you’re there to hear it, you’ve been working too long.

THE BROWN A-Z GUIDE

S/NC Satisfactory/No Credit. The option to take any class pass/ fail. It’s one of the beauties of the New Curriculum.

(See New Curriculum)

Sc.B. Everyone else calls it a B.S.

S/NC – Simmons, Ruth

SciLi, the The Sciences Library. Fourteen stories, color-coded according to the pH system (“The books get more ‘basic’ as you go higher up”), of books primarily in foreign languages. Playboy once named the 13th floor one of the ‘most notorious make-out spots’ in America. (Ask an upperclassman about the SciLi challenge.) Also home to the Friedman Study Center. (See FriSC)

SexPowerGod The Queer Alliance’s annual, insane fall party. A producer from the O’Reilly Factor managed to get himself inside in 2005 to shoot footage and produced a segment calling Ruth and other university leaders “pinheads.” (See Queer Alliance and

Senior Week Seniors’ last week of college — a packed schedule of social events, parties and goodbyes in the days between finals and Commencement.

Simmons, Ruth)

Sexile A merger of the words “exile” and “sex.” This is what happens if you have a roommate who wants to invite a new friend over to spend the night. You end up sleeping on the floor in the lounge — if you even have one.

Simmons, Ruth Brown’s 18th president and the first black president of an Ivy League school. She and her red power suit have a cult-like following among students, and her Plan for Academic Enrichment will give this year’s firstyears everything we never had.

(See Plan for Academic Enrichment)

Shopping Period Two-week-long period at the beginning of each semester during which you can try out any class that catches your eye and freely change your class registration. Try to finish up your shopping within a week, because professors will launch right into their courses. Everyone will tell you to shop as many classes as possible. You won’t believe them, but you should. Also, everyone will tell you to shop classes that interest you and ignore concentration requirements and career considerations. You won’t believe them, but you should.

Smitty B – Underground, the

THE BROWN A-Z GUIDE

Spiritus

Smitty B

Spiritus Fermenti. The closest liquor store to campus, located right next to Pembroke at the intersection of Thayer and Meeting streets. The prices are high, but you can’t beat the location.

Otherwise known as Smith-Buonanno Hall. One of the main academic buildings on Pembroke. (See Pembroke)

Spring Weekend

Stadium

In a good year, Spring Weekend means big-name bands on our very own Main Green, couches on Wriston, lots of drinking and casual sex. In a bad year, expect lots of reverb inside the hockey arena.

It’s over a mile away. This would be a huge pain if anyone besides alums and the Brown Band went to football games. (See Brown Band)

(See Main Green, Wriston Quadrangle and Binder, Dave)

T.A. Teaching Assistant. They teach some introlevel language classes as well as some courses in math and other departments. Some are helpful. Some are useless. Some will end up dating your roommate. (See Dating)

Thayer Street

SunLab Located on the first floor of the CIT, the SunLab is filled with high-powered workstations for computer science students. Good luck trying to get a computer on the night before a big CS project is due. Or on any Friday or Saturday night, for that matter. (See CIT)

Taveras, Angel Took office in January as Providence’s first Latino mayor. Unfortunately, he went to Harvard.

Serving as the de-militarized zone between Brown and its realworld neighbors, this avenue was formerly home to a plethora of eclectic shops and a roving motorcycle gang. Now it’s a glorified food court.

Tom & Tom The “Juice Guys” of Nantucket Nectars fame are dedicated Brown alums. One of the two Toms comes back every year to talk to Professor Emeritus of Engineering Barrett Hazeltine’s management classes.

Trolley, the A bus disguised to look like a trolley, run by RIPTA, which goes from Thayer Street to Kennedy Plaza and Federal Hill. The other route goes, um, somewhere else. (See RIPTA)

Underground, the UCS The Undergraduate Council of Students, which tries really, really hard to be an effective student governing body.

An on-campus club, located in Faunce House. It used to be easy for under-21s to get drinks here, but the newly refurbished Underground now has no liquor license, after an administrative crackdown and an unpleasant debacle involving local high school students. The only reason to go is to hear student bands perform. (See Faunce House)

THE BROWN A-Z GUIDE

Unit – Wickenden Street

Unit

Unitcest A merger of the words “unit” and “incest.” It’s when you hook up with someone in your unit. This is why “It’s Complicated” exists on Facebook. (See Dating, Unit)

Groupings of first-years who all share the same RC, MPC and WPC. Most units live within the same residence hall, but Keeney has a weird system that no one even tries to understand. Units are most important during orientation, when they face off in the relay races, games and cheering contests of Unit Wars. Also, seniors relive their first-year Unit Wars during Senior Week, but this time the inebriation is legal.

(See MPC, RC, WPC, Orientation, Senior Week)

University Hall Come here to meet with deans or visit Ruth during her office hours. The oldest building on campus, it’s on the National Register of Historic Places.

(See Simmons, Ruth)

V-Dub The Verney-Woolley Dining Hall. The junior member of Brown’s dining halls, it’s smaller, more intimate, features a “Now That’s What I Call Music!” soundtrack and tends to draw mostly athletes and first-years.

Van Wickle Gates So important that they’re only open twice a year. (Well, and for most of this summer. But they’re still really important.)

Warwick Second-largest city in the state. The airport is here. Not much else.

Watson Institute The Watson Institute for International Studies. Home of world-renowned research and the international relations, development studies, Middle East studies, South Asian studies and Latin American studies concentrations. In an attempt to emulate Hogwarts’ Defense Against the Dark Arts department, Watson has seen five directors in the past seven years.

WBRU 95.5 FM, one of the largest radio stations in southern New England and the oldest college radio station in America. Purported to be “the original alt-rock.” We’re not arguing. (See BSR)

Whiskey Republic, the The new bar in the beloved spot where Fish Co. once stood. Nostalgic students call this “Whis Co.,” but modifying the name won’t bring back the stripper poles.

Whispering Arch Behind the greenhouse, there’s a stone arch. Station a friend on one side of it, then go to the other side and whisper into it. They’ll be able to hear you as if you were blowing in their ear.

(See Fish Co.)

Wickenden Street and Wayland Square Two non-Brown related commercial districts within walking distance. Wickenden is famous for its head shops and pubs. Wayland is known for its bookstores. Pick your poison, or mix and match.

THE BROWN A-Z GUIDE

Williams, Roger – ZipCar

Williams, Roger

Wriston Quadrangle Home to the Ratty and most of Brown’s fraternities and sororities (which are housed in on-campus residence halls, to the surprise of your friends back home). The lawn in the center of the quad turns into a weekly farmer’s market in the warmer months and a slip-and-slide during Spring Weekend. Center of on-campus partying — you’ll see lines out the doors any Friday or Saturday night.

(See Spring Weekend)

Writing Center A place you can go to get one-on-one help editing or writing papers, staffed by graduate students in a variety of disciplines.

ZipCar Short-term rental cars available at the Power Street Garage, as long as you’re over 18. Kind of lame-looking but actually pretty useful. (See Power Street Garage)

Founder of this great state, proponent of religious freedom and now a giant statue in Prospect Park.

(See Rhode Island)

WPC Women’s Peer Counselors, the third members of each first-year residence hall’s peer counseling trios (along with MPCs and RCs). WPCs focus on health, gender, sexuality and relationships, plus they provide condoms and dental dams.

(See MPC, RC)

Writing Fellows Writing Fellows suck the pain out of throwing together a paper the night before it’s due by labeling said effort a “draft” and requiring that it be “edited” by a fellow student with “superior” writing talent.

NP3

Gate

NP4

MoChamp

1 min

Andrews

V-DUB Em-Wool

Map represents approximate walking times between first-year dorms and oncampus eateries.

5 mins

1 in ~ 100 yds

D aily

Herald

9 mins

8 mins

ins

the Brown

15 mi

Hope

Blue Room

12 min

20s

4 mins

Littlefield

ins

Wayland

i 2m

RATTY ns

Ivy Room 4m

Keeney

ins

4 mins

Jo’s

4 mins

Perkins

The first-year dorm guide

Background illustration by Ethan Zisson

You’ve got your first-year housing assignment, but what does it mean? You can scour the University website for campus maps and blueprints, but no amount of searching will tell you what life’s really like in each of these dorms. What about sunlight and gym access? Is it rowdy on weekends? Are the bathrooms clean?

PROS

CONS

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Here is your unsanctioned Brown Daily Herald first-year dorm guide, with the inside scoop straight from reporters who lived, slept and — let’s face it — had TAKEAWAY a little too much fun in these buildings.

Andrews Hall see East Andrews Hall; West Andrews Hall Archibald House see Keeney Quadrangle Bronson House see Keeney Quadrangle Champlin Hall

is close to Thayer Street, an elevator ride away from the V-Dub and first-floor rooms come outfitted + Champlin with showers. – Painfully far from the Ratty, Jo’s and the libraries. is a high-risk, high-reward dorm. Some Champlin champions get stuck in a medium-size third-floor = Champlin room with an awkward shower-and-tub room, while others luck out with first-floor palaces — some of the

largest first-year rooms available. Champlin’s distance from most classrooms is a drag, but its easy access to the V-Dub partly makes up for its flaws. — Chip Lebovitz

East Andrews Hall

the weather’s nice, residents of Andrews Hall like to stand outside on the communal patio terrace and + When brag to each other about how much they are enjoying their convenient in-room sinks.

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The positive facets of East Andrews help take the edge off both the pain of Pembroke weekends — when the simultaneous closure of the V-Dub and the Gate necessitates a trek to main campus for meal plan food — and the harrowing confusion that besets those who attempt to navigate the opposite side of Andrews, a bizarre and mirror-reversed alternate universe. Residents can look forward to comfortable living, at least relative to other first-years. When, as seniors, a fit of nostal-

= gia brings them back to their beloved dorm, they will still be able to enter by swiping through the west terrace door (universal card access) and ignoring the broken lock on the inner door. They will fondly remember the good days and wonder if the new generation of first-years is sticking together as well as they did in sociable old Andrews Hall.

— Jamie Brew

The first-year dorm guide

Emery Hall +

Emery — as well as the connected Woolley, which is virtually the same — provides little reason to venture far from your room: Emery offers an elevator, semiprivate bathrooms, a gym and the V-Dub right downstairs and close proximity to Thayer Street, the Gate and the OMAC.

in Pembroke leaves you a bit far from Wriston, the Main Green and the Ratty. While not terrible, the rooms – Living have cinderblock walls and are nothing flashy. The gym lacks several machines, and the V-Dub closes on weekends. You can go to the gym every day, and with the V-Dub below you, you often stop going to the Ratty after the first

= three weeks. You may get a bit sequestered living in Pembroke, and you have to make an effort to venture out

to Wriston, Grad Center or other dorms. But when you don’t feel like walking to the Ratty on the weekends, you can walk out your door to somewhere on Thayer and grab breakfast before the Gate opens.

— Sam Rubinroit

Em-Wool see Emery Hall; Woolley Hall Everett House see Keeney Quadrangle

24 +

Hope College Hope is the smallest first-year dorm on campus, with 31 doubles, many of which are among the largest at Brown. It is centrally located on the Main Green next to Faunce. And Hope residents get free Spring Weekend tickets come April — provided the weather is sunny and the show takes place outside.

brick walls in each room leave much to be desired, and each floor has only one, co-ed communal bath– The room. There is a really cool roof that residents will never, ever be able to access — though everyone will try. Hope College is a tight-knit group of 62 first-years that has been described in past years as somewhat

= of a co-ed fraternity. But throw out any thoughts of dormcest — seeing the cute kid down the hall in the bathroom every morning makes Hope more conducive to a sibling friendship than a romance.

Jameson House see Keeney Quadrangle

— Mike Makowsky

Keeney Quadrangle The largest first-year residence hall, Keeney has a reputation for fostering all-night debauchery and lifelong friendships. While the enormous quadrangle-shaped building is arbitrarily divided into eight “houses,” The Herald decided to ignore those divisions and show you how Keeney is really divided — horizontally, not vertically. The actual floor numbers change depending upon which house you’re in (yes, it’s super confusing, and no, we don’t know why), so we did our best to split the house into five horizontal floors that each share common experiences. Keeney-ites are unified by their location and general enthusiasm, but residents bond over each floor’s idiosyncrasies.

The first-year dorm guide

Keeney Basement and First Floor (0th floor for Mead and Jameson. 1st floor for Poland, Archibald, Bronson and Everett 101-115 and 122-130.)

The gym is outside the door, the laundry room is down the hall and the trash room is much closer to basement dwellers than to anyone else. Unlike your third-floor counterparts, you’ll never have to lug an overflowing laundry basket or two trashcans down multiple flights of stairs.

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It’s Keeney, so it will smell terrible. You may occasionally find beer or vomit on the floor. And on nights when you want to crash early, 2 a.m. dance parties may serve as a less-than-welcome distraction. The “Keeney experience” has its downsides — the dorm is overheated, definitely not the cleanest and more than

= a little loud come nightfall. But the location is great, the doubles are luxurious and the experience of living with so

many other first-years helps you make friends quickly. And though the basement may not be the best-lit part of the building, it is definitely a cozy and convenient place to live. — Shefali Luthra

Keeney Second Floor

(1st floor for Mead, Jameson and Everett 117-121 and 132-134. 2nd floor for Poland, Archibald, Bronson, Everett 201-216 and 222-230. Includes gym and Arnold Lounge.)

Since the doors to enter are on your level, you never have to climb up stairs (which is extra helpful on move-in day), you can meet tons of people without even trying (because everyone goes through your hallway), you have great access to the gym and you can go directly onto the quad to relax on a warm day.

– Depending on what side of the hall you live on, you might have bars on your window. =

As the most convenient floor in the largest dorm, this is one of the best places for first-years to live. And for better or worse, you get the “Keeney experience” — living with about 30 percent of the firstyear class, having lots of parties nearby, living in good-sized rooms (but with old furniture), sharing bathrooms and seeing broken exit signs every Friday and Saturday night without fail.

— Greg Jordan-Detamore and Sahil Luthra

Keeney Third Floor

(2nd floor for Mead, Jameson and Everett 217-221 and 232-234. 3rd floor for Poland, Archibald, Bronson and Everett 301-316 and 322-330.)

You’re either on the ground level or one level above it (which is helpful in a building with no elevators), and you’re right above Keeney’s gym, close enough to make it a tempting study break for even the laziest Brunonians. Think of going to the V-Dub as “eating out.” The few single-use bathrooms — there’s one on the second floor of Poland — can serve as makeshift accommodations if you can’t eject your roommate when your significant other is visiting. But you didn’t read that here.

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The toilets in some areas don’t really flush properly — be sure to put some work orders in with Facilities Management as soon as possible if you find plumbing problems. And don’t count on all the kitchens and lounges near you being open because ResLife commonly turns them into makeshift bedrooms without updating the floorplans. It can be a bit noisy near ground level (especially if your room is near entryways) on weekend nights, Thirsty Thursdays, etc. — but being near the heart of the action can have its perks too. The rooms in Keeney are bigger than many that sophomores get, so take advantage of that. You’ll have lots of struc-

= tured and informal opportunities to make friends with first-years on your hall, and you can maintain those friendships for the rest of your stay here. Overall, Keeney’s a very comfortable and exciting place to live freshman year.

— Alex Bell

The first-year dorm guide

Keeney Fourth Floor

(3rd floor for Mead, Jameson and Everett 317-321 and 332-334. 4th floor for Poland, Archibald, Bronson and Everett 401-415, 422, 424 and 426-430. Includes the rooms with bay windows: M312, M314, M316, P308, P310, A406, A408, A410, P432 and P434.)

Hands down, this is the best Keeney floor. You’ve got deluxe doubles on the “secret hallways,” relative isolation from the noisy lower floors and multiple kitchens and lounges — along with the general Keeney perk of proximity to classrooms, parties and most people living on campus, including hundreds of fellow first-years.

be far from laundry rooms. And since it still is Keeney, expect gross post-rager bathrooms, broken exit – You’ll signs and general loudness. On Keeney’s fourth floor, prepare for the full college experience, complete with all the perks and drawbacks of

= being in the largest first-year dorm. You’ll most likely get to know and hang out with everyone on your floor.

And if you’re lucky, you’ll be able to host parties in your extra-large double (with included window seat) or in-room kitchen. Sure, you’ll have to sort through more than 100 Facebook notifications for friend requests, shower flip-flops will be very necessary and you’ll have to navigate your way through clouds of pot smoke. But hey, that’s college, right? — Julien Ouellet

Keeney Top Floor

(4th floor for Mead, Jameson and Everett 417- 421, 423, 425 and 432-440. 5th floor for Poland, Archibald and Bronson.)

on the top floor of Keeney, you get to fully experience the social benefits of living in Brown’s + Living largest first-year dorm, but you don’t have to deal with a lot of noisy foot traffic. all your belongings in and out takes a lot more effort, as does going all the way down to the – Moving basement for laundry. The top floor of Keeney is an interesting place. Because of storage rooms and the lounges, it feels

= a bit more isolated and less crowded than other floors, which is a plus in that you’re near all the

action, but it’s not too hectic. Plus, you’re never too far away from Archibald Lounge parties, which you can in all likelihood expect on the first night of orientation. — Ethan McCoy

Littlefield Hall

Littlefield is a centrally located, small dorm off of Lincoln Field (the one with the statue of Marcus Aurelius, the man on the horse). With only about 70 students, Littlefield’s intimacy lends itself to a familial atmosphere, complete with living room, study area and kitchen. The entirely first-year dorm has very large rooms and access to a stunning roof view that’s worth the acrobatics it takes to get there.

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Not living in Keeney might stoke your fear of missing out, but you will soon appreciate the perks of going to the nearby quadrangle to party and then coming home to sleep in a more mellow space. Unfortunately, residents are forced to move out their belongings between the fall and spring semesters to accommodate athletes who have practice over winter break. Littlefield is like living with a family at the center of campus. By fostering a sense of community, it offers a great

= launching point for setting off into the world of Brunonia. Because of the presence of a substance-free floor in the

four-floor dorm, the community is often split down the line between special-interest and regular housing students. What you lose in uproarious “Animal House”-esque antics, you gain in stability. But try not to isolate yourself in the Littlefield bubble — use its centrality to act as a liaison and bridge the chasm between Keeney and Pembroke.

Mead House see Keeney Quadrangle Mo-Champ see Morriss Hall; Champlin Hall

— Jenny Bloom

The first-year dorm guide

Morriss Hall

Like its neighbors Champlin, Emery and Woolley, Morriss has basement access to the V-Dub and gym (a blessing in the cold winter months) and semiprivate bathrooms. It is also located just seconds away from CVS and a variety of Thayer Street eateries.

+ – The cinderblock walls are not aesthetically pleasing, and the heating sometimes doesn’t work very well. Though it is farther from main campus than Keeney, Morriss is quieter, cleaner and located on the beautiful = Pembroke campus. The network of interconnected dorm buildings allows you to socialize, eat and exercise

without stepping outdoors once. Decently sized rooms and semiprivate bathrooms, which are cleaned at least twice a week, make for a very comfortable living experience. — Aparna Bansal

New Pembroke #3

quiet and cozy dorm on Pembroke campus, NP3 is well heated and close to Thayer Street (especially CVS), the + APembroke eateries and two gyms — the OMAC and the Emery satellite gym. – The rooms are not big, and the hallways are dimly lit and narrow. Living at the north end of campus, much of your life is centered around Pembroke: eating in the V-Dub, late-night = snacking in the Gate and working out in the Emery gym. The small hallways of NP3 make socializing with dormmates more difficult, but people tend to congregate in the kitchen. If all else fails, knock on a neighbor’s door.

New Pembroke #4

— Inkyu Kim

Thanks to an overhaul of the decor last summer, NP4 has a lot of newness to offer: lounges, kitchens, paint, bathrooms and furniture. The second floor especially has its perks, with skylights and balconies in a few rooms.

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NP4 isn’t very close to main campus — about 7 minutes sans snow and slush, though access to all Thayer Street has to offer more than makes up for it. And while new it may be, big it is not. Rooms are about 110 square feet — pack lightly! NP4 is a small dorm where you get to know not only your hallway, but also your whole floor and the floors

= above and below you. Typically a tight-knit unit, NP4-ers enjoy all of the Pembroke perks together, including

delicious Gate sandwiches, quick shopping trips to Thayer and access to the Emery gym and the V-Dub. Since its makeover last year, the dorm has definitely improved, but the doubles are still tiny so make sure to leave the couches at home, and come prepared to get to know your roommate very, very well.

North Wayland see Wayland House Perkins Hall

— Kristina Fazzalaro

The residence hall closest to Thayer’s quirky stepsister Wickenden Street, Perkins is the perfect place for students who

+ want a strong bond with their hall-mates or guaranteed exercise from daily walks to campus. – The rooms do not make up in size or luxury for the remote setting — in fact, they’re some of the smallest on campus. Everyone seems to know it — the residents of Perkins Hall are a family. Though these bonds are strengthened = more by long walks and snowy nights when no one wants to step foot outside than by anything else, friendships grown in Perkins can last a lifetime. Plus, it’s supposedly the best place on campus to find a future spouse: Unsubstantiated rumor has it that 60 percent of marriages between Brown alums occur between Perkins alums.

— Emma Wohl

The first-year dorm guide

Poland House see Keeney Quadrangle Quiet Housing see Hope College; Littlefield Hall; Perkins Hall Single-Sex Housing see East Andrews Hall; West Andrews Hall Substance-Free Housing see Emery Hall; Perkins Hall;

Woolley Hall

Wayland House Sitting atop Wriston Quad, Wayland House — divided into North and South Wayland — is close to most of the important buildings on campus. With the Ratty less than a minute away and the Main Green just across the street, students living here will have no excuses for being late to anything.

+ in the only building other than the Ratty on Wriston Quad not associated with a fraternity or – Living sorority can make life very noisy, both inside the dorm and out, especially on weekend nights.

The location alone makes for a great dorm to have your first year. Because it’s small compared to

= other options (roughly 80 first-years), you can expect to get to know your floor-mates very well.

There is no real difference between North and South Wayland, aside from the Jabberwocks (an allmale a cappella group) having a lounge in the North Wayland basement.

— Joseph Rosales

West Andrews Hall The urinal — that is, sink — in each and every room lets you avoid the freshman rite of passage that is brushing

+ your teeth in front of 10 other people. Also, there’s an elevator. – There are very few rooms per hall. Expect your Keeney friends to never want to visit you, but definitely bring an AeroBed, because your spacious = room is well suited for guests. And Pembroke’s greens are an under-appreciated luxury. But the locks on the

bathrooms are, for whatever reason, much stronger than those in Keeney. Be prepared to do a major duct-taping job if you want to prop them open — otherwise you’ll need to bring your key along every time nature calls.

— Sam Levison

Woolley Hall The V-Dub and a satellite gym are located on the ground floor. The dorm is right off Thayer Street and boasts

+ semiprivate bathrooms, laundry machines on every floor and a shared elevator with Emery. – Woolley is a bit of a walk from the Main Green and most academic buildings on campus. Though Woolley may be isolated from main campus, you can get food or work out without stepping = outside, and the dorm has the advantage of relatively new furniture, bright lighting and semiprivate bathrooms. The elevator in Emery will make move-in day a breeze.

— David Chung

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